8 Ways to Stop Over-Thinking and Find Peace in the P...

http://themindunleashed.org/2014/09/8-ways-stop-thi...

8 Ways to Stop Over-Thinking and Find Peace in

the Present Moment
Consciousness

Health

Spirituality

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Sep 9, 2014

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We all do our best to stay positive, but occasionally we can slip into negative thinking patterns that can wreak
havoc on our lives. We might worry about our past mistakes or current stresses, and how these could lead to
negative outcomes in the future. We might obsess about or over-analyze regular experiences and interactions,
reading into them things that arent actually there. We might nd that as soon as one bad thing happens, we
associate it with all the other bad things that have happened in our lives and begin to feel miserable. We might
feel anxious in the present, having a hard time getting out of our own heads as we worry and obsess about the
things that could go wrong.
If you nd yourself in this place frequently, you are what psychologists call a ruminator, or, an over-thinker, and
this way of thinking can be harmful to your health. Psychologists have found that over-thinking can be
detrimental to human performance, and can lead to anxiety and depression, especially in women, who are much
more likely than men to ruminate on stress and disappointments than men.
As a psychologist and recovering over-thinker myself, I have a lot of compassion for people who end up in these
spiraling negative thought patterns. Many over-thinkers are lovely, intelligent, nurturing people who value

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that they are worrying about or seeking support and reassurance from, because they can become obsessive,
anxious, depressed, negative and difcult to be around. This is not a switch in the brain that can be easily ipped
off, but rather, a pattern from which it requires dedication and work to recover. Based on research in psychology
and my personal experiences, here is my advice for how to stop over-thinking and nd peace in the present
moment:

1) Accept that You Have a Problem with

Over-Thinking.
The rst step to healing is acknowledging that you have a problem. If you feel like you cant get out of your own
head and over-thinking is stopping you from living a happy life, making decisions, getting things done, or
forming meaningful relationships, then you have a problem. If you nd yourself spiraling into negativity and
depression when a bad thing happens, you have a problem. If your anxiety about the future is stopping you from
enjoying the present, you have a problem. Burying your head in the sand or denying this reality will only make
the situation worse. If you are not sure if you have a problem, ask your friends and loved ones to be honest with
you, because they are usually the ones who will see it even if you cannot.

2) Forgive Yourself: Our Brains are Hardwired This

Way
Once you can admit that you are an over-thinker, forgive yourself, because the brain is actually wired to make
over-thinking a natural tendency. According to Psychologist Susan Nolen-Hoeksema, the leading expert in this
eld, the organization of our brains sets us up for over-thinking because our thoughts and memories are
intrinsically woven together, not compartmentalized. So when stressors are triggered or you get into a bad mood,
it can unlock a cascade of racing negative thoughts that have nothing to do with the original trigger for the bad
mood. Nolen-Hoeksema gives the example of when poor job performance causes you to think about your aunt who
died last year.
Furthermore, when something bad happens or someone is feeling negative, they are more likely to think
negative things and also see connections (that may not actually exist) between all the bad events that have
happened in their lives. The more frequently this happens, the more likely the individual is to engage in this
over-thinking pattern in the future.
While the brain might be wired to make these associations, once you become aware you can begin to solve the
problem.

3) Breathe More
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negative thought associations, how can we break this pattern?
The rst and easiest thing you can do is BREATHE. Breathing will relax you, calm you, connect you to the present
moment, and ground you to Mother Earth. It sounds so simple but often when our mind starts to race to bad
places, we become manic and frantic when what we need to do is relax the body and mind.
The breathing technique that works for me involves lying down and taking a two-second long deep inhalation in
through the nose, followed by a four-second long exhalation out through the mouth. This breathing pattern
increases the CO2 in the bloodstream, which can relax the body and calm the adrenal systems response to the
obsessive thoughts. Do this for 10 minutes or until the excessive thinking slows down.

4) Talk Less
So many over-thinkers, especially those of us of the female persuasion, cant help but want to talk it out when
we are feeling stressed and worried. While talking about the worries can sometimes help, it usually will make
things worse, especially if the person you are talking to is also an over-thinker, and you spend the entire time
over-analyzing and dissecting every detail of every negative problem in your lives. You might end up working
yourself up into a frenzy of negativity and feeling even more upset after the conversation.
This type of co-rumination, where two ruminators get together to over-think about their lives together, can lead
both people deeper into negativity and stress. For example, research has uncovered an association between
co-rumination amongst female friends and increases in the stress hormone cortisol.
If you really feel the need to express your issues, you can always write them down, to clear them out of your
mind and realize that your concerns might sound silly when you read them back to yourself. This type of
free-association journaling has been incredibly benecial for me.

5) Get Physical and Get Busy

What should you do instead of talking? Well, you already know to breathe to calm the body and mind, but
sometimes you just want to let the energy out! In this case it can be incredibly benecial to do something
physical, whether it is going for a brisk walk, playing with a pet or children, doing yoga, playing sports,
swimming, or running. Activities that are both mentally and physically engrossing are the best, because they
require enough absorption to pull you out of obsessive thinking patterns and into a state of ow.
In addition to physical exercises, engrossing activities that stimulate the brain can also be effective for
redirecting obsessive thought patterns. Playing cards, learning a language, or playing all different types of games
can be great diversions or interrupters of these thoughts. Or you could always learn a new hobby, make art, draw,
paint or take up crafting, such as making jewelry, clothes, dream catchers, hair extensions, really anything, You
actually discover a hidden talent you never knew you had, or be able to start a new
career
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6) Practice Mindfulness
One of the big things that over-thinkers struggle with is the ability to live in the present moment. So consumed
by the failures of the past and the worries over the future, the present moment does not get the attention and
love it deserves. Lao Tzu said that if you are depressed you are living in the past, if you are anxious you are living in
the future, and if you are at peace you are living in the present. So how can we live in peace in the present
moment?
Well, we have already discussed some of the strategies that can help you quiet the mind and ground yourself to
present moment, including breathing, talking less, getting physical and doing other activities that help redirect
attention and bring the mind into ow. But one of the best things you can possibly do is practice mindfulness, a
form of meditation where you focus on the present moment without judgment. As the obsessive, worrying
thoughts come in, you acknowledge them, and then let them go, energetically releasing them and clearing your
space. I strongly recommend learning mindful meditation techniques such as Transcendental Meditation, or if
you are having trouble doing it yourself, seeking counseling from someone who practices Mindfulness-Based
Cognitive Therapy.

7) Surrender to the Universe

When we worry, we are essentially hoping to control the ow of life because we are attached to the outcome of a
situation. We want things to happen a certain way, and we are terried that things could go wrong or that bad
things could happen. In reality, we have little to no control over the unfolding of events in life, at least not from
the conscious standpoint that our worrying will directly impact the outcome in the way we want. So, we can
worry and obsess, or we can accept all that IS and let go of our attachment to the outcomes. The universe is way
older and wiser than us, and instead of obsessively worrying, we can let go of control and with love and trust,
surrender to the universe.
Surrender does not mean giving up; It just means you are willing to go with the ow of the current, instead of
trying to swim against it and getting repeatedly bashed into the rocks. Surrender is a form of release and a form
of peace, because it means you are willing to trust that everything will work out as it is supposed to: Trust that
everything happens in its proper time and place and you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Even the concept
of worrying about good or bad outcomes is awed from this perspective and nothing more than a symptom of
duality, which is only an illusion. As you zoom out to the grand scheme of the universe, there is no such thing as
good or bad it is all ONE, two sides of the same coin.

8) Remember, Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

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our reality over time. Like attracts like, and so the more you worry about something, the more you will begin to
attract exactly the energy you are worried about! If you still havent seen the wonderful online series Spirit
Science, I strongly recommend you view Episode 1, which does an excellent job explaining how our thoughts
create our reality.
We must be mindful of our thoughts because our thoughts have power, more than we realize. If you obsessively
fear losing your job, you are actually INCREASING the likelihood of getting red, not decreasing it. Same if you
are worrying about contracting a life-threatening disease or medical condition: The more energy you send in that
direction, the more likely you are to unknowingly give permission to your body to manifest this condition.
Your thoughts and feelings will energetically create your life, which is why my life partner, sound healer Jimmy
Ohm always says, Worrying is a misuse of creative energy. Do you want to create a happy life, living at peace in
the momentt? If so, you have all of the tools to make this a reality by being mindful and present in your
thoughts. You also have all of the tools to create a life of worry and negativity, if you continue to over-think and
obsess about negative events. The choice is yours and I lovingly hope that you choose wisely. Blessings and
Love!
Authors Note: Do you agree? Are you an over-thinker or recovering over-thinker? Have these tips worked for you?
What other suggestions can you make to break this cycle? I would love to hear from you on Facebook!

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dr. Kelly Neff is a renowned psychologist, author, founder of The Lucid Planet and the host of the hit new show,
Lucid Planet Radio. She has reached millions of people with her articles on psychology, transformation, and
wellness, which have been featured on websites like The Mind Unleashed, Mind Body Green, My Tiny Secrets,
and now, The Lucid Planet. Before she became a full-time author, Dr. Neff spent seven years as a psychology
professor where she helped thousands of students learn about health, relationships, love and sexuality, and
co-authored the groundbreaking manual in her eld, Teaching Psychology Online. She has a B.A. in Psychology
from Georgetown University and an M.A. and Ph.D. in Social Psychology from Claremont Graduate University. Dr.
Neff is an avid participant in the visionary art, music and culture scene in her home state of Colorado and
beyond. You might nd her traveling the globe to give workshops, speeches and do research at transformational
festivals. You can nd her on Facebook and Twitter. Light and Love!
Like

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Dr. Kelly Neff

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Dr. Kelly Neff is a renowned psychologist, author, founder of The Lucid Planet and the host
of the nationally syndicated new talk radio show, Lucid Planet Radio, airing Wednesday
afternoons at 5pm ET. She has reached millions of people with her articles
on10psychology,
Sunday
May 2015 04:08 PM

transformation,
and wellness,
featured on websites like The Mind
8 Ways to Stop Over-Thinking
and Find Peace
in the P...which have been
http://themindunleashed.org/2014/09/8-ways-stop-thi...
Unleashed, Mind Body Green, My Tiny Secrets, and now, The Lucid Planet. Before she
became a full-time author, Dr. Neff spent seven years as a psychology professor where she
helped thousands of students learn about health, relationships, love and sexuality, and
co-authored the groundbreaking manual in her eld, Teaching Psychology Online. She has a
B.A. in Psychology from Georgetown University and an M.A. and Ph.D. in Social Psychology
from Claremont Graduate University. Dr. Neff is an avid participant in the visionary art, music
and culture scene in her home state of Colorado and beyond. You might nd her traveling
the globe to give workshops, speeches and do research at transformational festivals. You can
nd her on Facebook and Twitter. Light and Love!

The Mind Unleashed, Inc. 2015 - except

where noted.

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