Counseling Questions: 1. Sincerity Test

COUNSELING QUESTIONS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------1. SINCERITY TEST

She wants to know if the guy is sincere.
Question:
Salam,i need ur help n guide,im v much tense,i had a frndshp wd a boy
since 5 years,he claims 2 love me n promisd me 2 mary me..hm kbi ni
mile only phone pe bt hti h msgs k thru,nt cals,he is an enginr he
perfomed haj last year..m us ki adict hn ya i lv hm cnt judge till
now,smtmx i feel i love him.
Mj se phle wo ksi lrki ko like krta ta,he told me abt her,us k bd b ak lrki
us ki frnd ri...few days ago us ne mje fb paswrd dia that u can..q k use
pta ta k i ll nvr chk..bcx mje ase kam pasnd ni,ak din mne us ka acount
opn kia to he have too many grl frndx,i askd him bt he told a lie r phr
man gya n promise kia k nxt time asa ni o ga,mne us se in touch rhna
chor dia h bcz i came 2 knw that it x a sin..but us ki ab b whe activitx
hn...wo ksi se flirt ni krta mean shadi k waday krna but as a frnd btn
krta h grls se..i viewed his chats he say every friend that he ll marry
me n he loves me,im so much confused.is he sincere with me r not?
what should i do? kindly help
I said 2 him if u realy love me sent ur parents n he promised dat in
next year i ll do ths
Answer:
Wasalam
Sister i can give a big reply. But i will give a very short reply and save
your time. It will be tough to swallow. This guy is a liar and a deceiver
and there is no use of marrying such a guy. Secondly, you will get
married to ONLY and ONLY the one whom Allah has written for you. So
why are u talking to him and having a relationship? If he's written for
you he'll get married only to you and none else. If not, then even if u
keep talking for ten years and even if he promises you thousand times,
he will not get married to you.
If u want a guarantee, i can guarantee you that this guy will not marry
you. Thats all i can say. Get rid of him. Do istighfaar. Stop deceiving
your parents. How will your dad feel when he comes to know that his
daughter talking to a guy? And know that even if u get married to this
guy, his character is doubtful. He is talking to girls and having girl
friends before marriage, what will happen after marriage? Its amazing
that you still trust this guy. You are talking to him since 5 years, having
a haram relationship, know that such a relationship even if converted
into marriage will not bring much blessing. Please read these questions
for a detailed analysis:
http://islamqa.info/en/20162
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------2. AN IDEAL HUSBAND

She wants to know the compromise limits when finding a husband.
Question:
Assalam Alakum youth club!! Your article about what women should
see in men was amazingly written..but unfortunately most of the time
we dont get a tailored made package like that..my question is..where
do we draw the line for compromise then? In an ideal world..the
characteristics you mentioned..seriously describe "mr.perfect" but
coming to ground reality.. for e.g..if we get an overtly practicing
guy..who prays tahajud..fasts..etc etc most of the time, it also
accompanies an extremely conservative mindset (probably due to a
brush off with our cultural norms) and it literaly leaves you
suffocated...listening to things like you cant drive..its haram..you cant
work in a hospital where you have to touch men (im a doctor by the
way)..its haram..so what im confused about is..what should someone in
such a situation do?? What do we end up compromising on? Is it
advisable to go for a much more liberal person..who sometimes ends
up slacking in religion but lets you at least BREATHE in peace..or
should we eventualy stick to the haram police who is probably right in
their "haram" stance but will eventualy make us more religiously
averted? I would be extremely greatful if you could elaborate on how to
find this "mr perfect" in a non perfect world!! JazakAllah

Answer:
W.S wr wb
Tats a very good q and I knew this would be coming. Actually we have
not described a Mr. Perfect in the answer. We clearly wrote that a God
fearing person will commit mistakes and that a man who prays can do
injustice, BUT not for long. The attributes mentioned like maturity and
sense of responsibility and taqwa are normal attributes that every
Muslim man must have. These are not extraordinary qualities. So first
of all your perception that the guy described in the question is a
"perfect guy" is wrong. That is not a perfect guy, but a good guy. As i
said, maturity, sense of responsibility, good akhlaq and Taqwa, these
are very normal qualities that Islam instills in its followers. This is
matric pass. You want to know who were extra ordinary and 'PERFECT'
and 'PHD'? Then read lives of sahaba. You will not believe that did such
people actually existed? They were the extra ordinary people.
Sacrificing their lives, properties and everything for brotherhood, Islam
and the Prophet pbuh. If i start telling u incidents from their lives, you
might not believe that such human beings existed.
If you think today such a normal man does not exist (with good akhlaq,
maturity, taqwa), then Alhamdulilah, i guarantee you, youth club has
many. That is why youth club was made. To create such individuals. We
have trained them under our direct supervision. They will have many
mistakes. But at the end their Taqwa will i.A save them and make them
correct themselves. Taqwa is the driving force that drives one towards
all good such as maturity, sense of responsibility, good Akhlaq. How
can someone who truly believes from heart that there will be
Qayamah, do injustice with others for long? Taqwa comes from deep
knowledge about Allah and His religion, and through ibadaat. Some
people are great in ibadaat but zero knowledge about Islam, hence
cannot attain taqwa completely. Others, great in knowledge, zero in
ibadaat, again cannot attain taqwa completely.
As for the two extreme you have described in your q, "the haram
police" and "the liberal extremist", these two extremes do exist in our
society and pose a lot of problem. That is why youth club was made. To
do tarbiyah (grooming) of youth. We keep holding training sessions in
which we teach etiquettes of dawah to the haram police youth. We
keep answering questions to youth (if you have read), to stop issuing
fatwas and imposing things on people, and to adopt manners and
patience.
As for the q "where do we draw the line of compromise"..
Do not ever compromise on marrying someone who doesn't offer
prayer. This is because prophet pbuh said:
"The covenant that distinguishes between us and them is the prayer,
and whoever neglects it has disbelieved (become a kaafir).
(It was narrated by Ahmad, Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi, al-Nisaai and Ibn
Maajah)
According to consensus of all scholars, a person who does not offer
prayer is in 'danger of becoming a kafir' if not 'kafir'. This is because
prayer is obligatory, and the first question to be asked on the Day of
judgement from a person is going to be of prayer. (Tirmidhi).
A person who prays, will be far better than a person who does not offer
prayer at all.
Secondly, never compromise on a drunkard and a smoker. Can you
imagine your husband to be to be smoking infront of your little
children?
Thirdly, never compromise on marrying someone who has many
female friends and is very open with females. Any woman who says
she does not feel jealousy for her husband when he is open to other
females, is not a woman, but something else. U must have read
psychology, and this is against the nature and psychology of woman.
Even the most shameless of woman in western society feels jealousy
for her spouse (as shown in movies). So a guy who is very open with
females and has lots of female friends, is bound to destroy his
relationship with his wife.
Fourthly, never compromise on marrying someone who is a liar and of
bad character. This can easily be found from his company. Very easy.
Fifthly, never compromise on marrying someone whose earning is
haram (such as a bank job or who deals with interest). Haram earning
destroys everything. The peace of home, the barakah, the tarbiyah of
children.
Sixthly, never compromise on marrying an arrogant person. Rasul Allah

s.a.w said an arrogant person is one who denies the haq. Never ever
compromise on marrying someone who himself does not follow Islam,
but also makes fun of those who follow Islam and curses them,
degrades them and degrades the ehkamaat of Islam and whose affairs
are lost. A person who literally hates Islam by using "Maulvis" "Mullahs"
as an excuse for this hatred.
As for things on which one can compromise, these are:
1- If that person offers prayers, but does not have a beard, or keeps
cloth above ankles, then one can compromise, in hope that i.A that
person atleast offers prayers and so Allah will soften his heart in future.
(I know there will be disagreements on this from many readers, but
remember what the word "compromise" means).
2- If that person is knowledgeable and good in religious commitment,
but not much mature and responsible, then compromise can be done
in hope that Allah will make him mature and responsible after
marriage..
3- If that person is of good manners, etiquettes, akhlaq and prays 5
daily prayers, but does not have much knowledge, then compromise
can be made.
4- If that person is God fearing, and knowledgeable, but his family is
not practicing, then compromise can be made.
5- If that person is not from your cast, then compromise should be
made.
6- If that person is not from a rich family, but of good character and
religious commitment, and middle class and earns halal, then
compromise should be made.
7- If that person has love for Islam, but is not very practicing (not very
practicing doesn't mean one who doesn't pray but it means - not a
model daee like personality), then compromise can be made in hope
that because of his love for Islam, he might change.
One thing worth mentioning is, when we hear the word "Muttaqi" we
become afraid and think muttaqi is some extra ordinary person not
available in this world. No. Muttaqi simply means God fearing person,
who knows he/she will die and answer to Allah and because of this fear
and love for Allah, does not do zulm (injustice). (Zulm means many
things, such as sinning, doing shirk, literal zulm, injustice etc)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------3. MARRIAGE
The girls wants to know the qualities of a potential husband.
Question:
"assalam o alaikum! you have explained very nicely regarding the girl
to be marry. it will be helpful for many sisters if you also explain the
qualities of a guy to be marry."
Answer:
Walekum salam wr wb
Prophet sallalaho alayhi wassalam said:
"When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied,
asks to marry your daughter, comply with his request. If you do not do
so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth." (Tirmidhi)
The rule is simple. A man is to be married for religious commitment
and taqwa. If that man is handsome and well off (financially), then
thats a fazal of Allah and a plus point. But this is no criteria. Thousands
of handsome men are out there, making lacs per month, but having
affairs outside of marriage, treating wives badly, and doing injustice.
Whats the use of a handsome and rich man, when he cannot be
committed to his wife and does not give her her rights? A God fearing
man, on the other hand, will have mistakes, but will also have the
capacity to see his mistakes and because of fear of Allah, want to
correct his mistakes. A man who offers prayer can do injustice, but not
for long. A man who does not pray, has no relation what so ever with
religion, is more prone to do injustice for long and not even realize the
injustice.
Unfortunately, today people ONLY see the pay of the guy, and give
their daughter to such a person. Sadly, not only non religious people do
this, but also religious. When it comes to marrying their daughter, the
most important thing for them is money and then religion. Intention
matters the most, whatever we do in life. With whatever intention we
take a step, it will go a long way to effect our lives. It is understandable
that financial status is something that cannot be ignored, but making it
the first priority, and the only criteria, is plain materialistic thinking.
Now the criteria is obvious.
1- Character
2- Religious commitment
The thing to elaborate is what is meant by character and religious
commitment?
Its amazing how some females fall for a guy merely by reading his
statuses, articles, or listening to a lecture of some daee on youtube, or
lively performance on stage, or by listening to tilawat, and they think
this is the ideal religious man to marry. Sorry for such blunt analysis.
But this is whats happening and needs to be addressed. There is a qari
in Islamabad, who has such beautiful voice, and women who pray
behind him want to marry this qari simply because of the beautiful
tilawat. Its a very famous tale in Islamabad. Might we ask, does a
beautiful voice define character? And religious commitment? (Not that
this qari is of bad character, but is good tilawat enough to declare who
to marry and who not to?)
What is character? A Character has many attributes. When we say 'he
is a man of character', we just dont mean that he is a very well
mannered guy. It maybe that a well mannered guy is characterless.
Because character is not just good manners. A well mannered guy,
who can talk softly and knows how to deal in a great manner with
people, might be doing injustice with people by doing fraud. There are
many people out there with great akhlaq, but devouring properties of
others, not giving others rights and doing fraud. So understand what is
character. Some of the qualities of good & sound character:
1- Mature
2- Responsible
3- God fearing
4- Good akhlaq
5- Good manners
6- Humility
7- Patience & perseverance
Suppose someone marries a man who is a great daee on youtube, very
charismatic, and great voice, but after marriage it turns out that man is
very irresponsible when it comes to family matters. He is very
disorganized and does not have manners to meet people. He is self
centered and very arrogant and uncompromising. What will happen?
Religious commitment, on the other hand, is not only setting good
statuses on facebook, and talking good about Islam, it is actually the
practical implication of religion in one's life. May Allah make all of us
amongst such people. ameen.
Now the biggest question. How to find such a guy? Pray. Make much
supplication. There are great supplications told by Prophet pbuh in this
regard. One book is "Wa iyya ka nasta'een" by alhuda pubications. Its
an excellent book which also has an app. It contains such
supplications.
Also, good fathers are very experienced and they can easily judge the
character of a potential candidate. Moreover, another way to find out
about the candidate's sense of responsibility and maturity is to find out
from his close friends. Its very easy. The brother of the girl can ask the
guy's close friends. Also the family defines a lot how the guy will be.
Since he has been raised in the family and will resemble habits of
father/mother.
One thing worth clearing here is the fact that many people become
mature and responsible after getting married. Marriage brings good
changes in them. However there is no 100% guarantee of this and so
maturity and sense of responsibility must be seen before marriage.
Many do not change and their wives cry all life.
May Allah help everyone who is striving to find a righteous partner.
May Allah help us follow the sunnah of His beloved Messenger in every
aspect.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. MARRIAGE
He thinks he and his wife are not compatible.
Question:
I think me and my wife are not compatible. She does not listen to me.
This is not what i asked for. I wanted someone who would raise my
eman, and not someone who would take the little i have. I have been
deceived by my parents.
(This q our counselor received at sms)
Answer:
Before i give a detailed reply, let me tell you that now you are married,
which is a very serious relationship, and such a thinking now is not
going to help, but going to prove destructive. Shaytan does not want to
see homes build, but destroyed. Now whats done is done and cannot
be undone. Happy independence day by the way.
You should not be thinking like this now. These were things to think
before selecting a life partner. What you should be thinking now is
what should be done to save this marriage and to better the
relationship. The advices are very basic. They will surely help i.A if you
can act on them.
1- Do not throw a barrel of water (meaning aggressive dawah) on your
wife. Rasul Allah s.a.w said:
"Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most
curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to
straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain
crooked. So treat women nicely."
(Sahih Bukhari)
Do not break her. At times husbands do aggressive dawah and want to
convert their wives within days. Same some wives do, and in husbands
case it is even more dangerous, since a man is very proud by nature
and does not entertain aggressive dawah. The result is divorce. This is
one of the reasons of divorce amongst religious women. We lack
patience and hikmah. We read ahkamaat but not hikmah. Yes in some
cases, there is no choice but divorce, but those are extreme cases and
have very serious reasons and future implications. So, first and
foremost, adopt patience. Be a role model. Do not tell her everyday to

read so and so book, or to go to Quran class, or to forcefully make her
listen to lectures. Be a role model. Do silent dawah, for it is the most
effective form. Just be nice, patient and spend as much time with her
as you can, while practicing Islam day and night yourself. Be her
favourite. She will herself start doing what u are doing.
2- Maintain a status of mutual respect. Give her respect and take
respect also. Over joking and non serious attitude is not only harmful
amongst friends, but amongst life partners too. A standard of positive,
constructive attitude must be built at home. When husbands lose
respect amongst wife, then this is it. Nothing will work. Usually
husbands lose respect out of excessive aggressive behavior such as
too much shouting, taunting, forcing, or joking, non seriousness,
irresponsibility etc. Your parents should not be insulting you infront of
her or complaining about your weaknesses to your newly wedded wife,
as it will corrupt her mind against you. Know that once you won
respect and love of her, you can make her do ANYTHING. Trust me. But
if you lost respect and love, then forget it.
3- Give her time. She has come to a completely new home, new family,
left her friends and previous life. This will keep teasing her for
sometime and in anger she will think you responsible for it. She will
soon find her independence gone, and realize she is now dependent on
you. This will frustrate her. Be ready to face the brunt. And be ready to
deal with gentleness and patience. If u didnt, rather kept forcing her
more to convert, it will break her truly and u wont be able to connect
the broken pieces again. So understand her situation. She needs time
to adjust. Couples take years to adjust. Trust me. Your marriage is just
a little less than a month old as u told. Facilitate her and let her
understand the mechanism of your house. Spend more time with her
as a normal friend, rather than a daee.
4- In some cases, the wife is very immature and does not understand
silent dawah. Nothing from the above works, and you have to explain
everything. This should be done by hikmah too. When you see
something u really dont like, explain to her that you dont like it. And
then keep silence. If shes smart, she'll realize that if she wants her
house to be kept intact, she will now have to sacrifice a lot of her
habits and adjust according to you. Same you should do. Let the
differences aside for sometime, if they are not too serious, and focus
on building relationship.
5- Hazrat Asiya lived with firaun with patience for a long time. If she
can live with firaun, cant you live with your wife? Same goes to
religious wives. No husband can be worse than firaun. These days we
hear couples taking divorce after two,three,six months. If Hazrat umar
(r) was alive, he would have given severe punishments to such
couples. Divorce is no joke. It destroys lives. Especially of the girl.
These days people are becoming very impatient and easy going. They
dont want tests and difficulties, hence seek out a way out i.e divorce.
6- As for your saying, 'she does not listen to me', find out the reasons
'why?'. Talk to her in a nice manner. There is this pakistani mentality in
husbands regarding holding a roub at women. They believe if the
woman does immediately not do what they ask, means they have lost
that roub and hence a challenge to their manhood. To maintain this socalled manhood they imply more roub. A scholar once said: "Roub
kuffar pe jamaya jata ha (in meidan e jang), aurto pe nai. Wo bechari
tau pehle hi weak hai. Aurat se sirf muhabbat ki jati hai."
So make sure you keep analysing your behavior too. This doesnt mean
you give her absolute free hand. No. Maintain a balance. Seek advise
from experienced old men, how to maintain a balance.
7- As for your saying "i have been deceived by my parents". Then this
is an extremist thinking. Parents did best for you, however they could,
according to their understanding of life matters. Now you should not
think like that. Accept their decision and choice and Allah will surely
put barakah because of your respect to your parents i.A. And if you
think, had there been a religious girl, your life would have been great,
then think again. Every couple has problems. Even the religious ones.
Your test is different, but that doesnt mean religious couples dont have
test. Maybe if you got married to a religious girl, you would have been
facing some severe test too.
8- Try doing silent dawah and see the results. Give her space. Do her
tarbiyah slowly and steadily. I.A most probably this way will work. If
not, then yes their are other ways. But in your case, just a month old
relationship, i truly believe u are being impatient.
9- The biggest weapon of momin. Duaa. Go to Allah. Make lot of duaa
that Allah fills love and respect for eachother in your hearts. Pray to
Allah for her hidayah. Surely duaa will work when nothing else works.
Jzk khayr. We all pray for your relationship.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------5. HARAAM INTERACTION

She wants to know how to stop her sister from haraam interaction at
internet.
Question:
Please tell how can i stop my younger sister from uploading her pics
and talking to males at fb. I am very worried, i fear she talks at cell
phone too and because of it there is fight at home. My parents are very
worried. Please suggest what to do.
Answer:
It is a very serious issue being faced by every family these days. I keep
hearing horrendous stories. Parents are so worried. Raising daughters
has become one of the greatest challenges of the modern world, for
there are too much fitnas and detractors. Before we discuss how to
stop our sisters from such activities, first let us discuss some of the
detractors which incite them to chat to males and 'have someone in
life'.
1- Media ofcourse. Particularly bollywood movies.
2- Pakistani channels, Hum tv being in the forefront by showing dramas
encouraging such relationships.
3- Pakistani FM radio channels. One of the biggest detractors for youth.
4- Peer pressure i.e bad company in colleges, schools, listening to their
love stories and hence wishing to have a boyfriend/love in life.
5- Profane literature such as romantic novels and magazines.
6- Carelessness of parents and siblings, who dont give much time and
attention to children & sisters, hence they find love and company in
such things.
Now that we have discussed the detractors. Let us now discuss some
of the ways to stop them.

1- Giving them time and company. The more we are closer to them, the
more they will trust us and listen to us. They will not find time to do
such things in this way. Individualism, given to our society by west is
one of the chief reasons of moral decline of families. Everyone indulged
in his/her own life and problems, and no one cares what the siblings
do.
2- Dealing with patience and love with them. Making them understand
the harms of such things. Telling them about ibratnaak incidences. So
much programs have been done by media on this issue.
3- Keeping an eye on their company and trying to get them into nice
company.
4- Parents should let their children use internet in their presence or in a
common room, like tv lounge. Not alone.
5- Arranging weekly sessions in home on morality and taqwa, etc. Or
taking them to such lectures.
6- Keeping them away from profane movies, dramas and literature by
providing them alternatives.
7- Take the responsibility and go with her whenever she goes out for
anything.
8- Marrying them at an early age.
9- Try not using cell phone infront of her doing tick tick (sms) all the
time. This gives wrong impression that u must be talking to someone
too. Be an example yourself!
Now, according to psychology, the age 16-21 is the age of rebellion. In
this age a teenager just wont listen through nice means. So sometimes
force has to be employed. Some methods of employing force:
1- If she doesn't pay heed to whatever you say, take away her cell
phone.
2- Take her password from her. Tell her you have it and you'll keep
checking. Better if elder sister does this.
3- Enforce punishments such as taking some benfits away from her.
Psychologists recommend this as a great way to teach teenagers

something when nothing else works. For more details read some
psychology book and the chapter 'Learning'.
4- Beat her lightly. Please note the word LIGHTLY. And never on face.
The purpose of this show off beating should be just to frighten her that
u can beat severely too.
(Note: Do such things only when nothing else is working and rebellion
is increasing. And beating should be the very LAST thing to do).
Keep an eye and fulfil your responsibilities. Instead of giving time to
someone thousand miles away from you, on fb, look after your own
home man. Its funny, some people are doing dawah to someone miles
away, while neglecting their own family, Realise you are a brother and
realize your responsibilities. Lastly, in such cases is a great lesson for
future generations. First the parents make their daughters and sons
watch media filth, movies, dramas etc, then when they get conditioned
and start learning things from them, parents suddenly come in reaction
and start crying at the bad things their daughters and sons are doing.
They start acting very harshly and some go on to severely beat and
even kill for honor. This is sheer injustice. If one wants his/her
daughter/son to not commit such things, one must take care from the
start and raise them by showing them good things and teaching them
good things.
May Allah help all such families who are facing such troubles. Ameen
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------6. CRITICISM
He wants to know how should we deal with people who criticize you.
Bhai why do people label you when you try to say something good?
They criticize you and say bad things about you. How can we deal with
them.
Answer:
Brother, do not worry about labels. And do not worry about what
people say to you. Just do what u think as right. Learn to differentiate

between useful and rubbish criticism. Take good criticism and ignore
rubbish. Ignoring people's rubbish is an art in itself.
The fact is human being is weak and strength is only from Allah. A
muslim should have such a relation with quran and seerat, as a child
has with mother. Read the Quran. How much consolation has been
done by Allah Almighty of our beloved prophet pbuh. Allah is consoling
the prophet again and again. This is why one must have connection
with the quran and ponder over those consolations. Its sad that Quran
is not part of our lives. This great miracle just became a source of
sawab for us. Have connection with the Quran if you want to become a
world class person. Trust me. Dont you see what were arabs before
Quran, and what they became after Quran?
As for criticism, tell me one person who lived in this world but did not
face criticism?
Lets talk about the best three generations, as said in a hadis. Tell me
about imams. Were they not criticized. Tell me about sahaba. Even
today some unfortunate people abuse sahaba. Tell me about ambiya.
Were they not criticized. And what about leader of ambiya and the best
of human beings, prophet Muhammad s.a.w? Leave aside human
beings, people do not even abstain from criticizing Allah - the One free
from all faults. So what are we?
Always think of this quote whenever someone personally hits you or

spreads something about you. Imam sufyan said:
"If you know yourself, you will not be worried by what people say about
you."
Why? Because if u know u are sincere, then you know you will please
Allah. And pleasing Allah is the purpose of life. And not the people. And
the one who achieves this purpose has indeed succeeded. So why
worry?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------7. DREAMS
Wants to know the reality of horrible dreams.
Salam. I get horrible dreams. I wake up very disturbed. I see such
memories which hurt me or i see some relative or blood relation dying.
I spend the day thinking about the dream and feel very frightened. Do
dreams come true? Should we rely on dreams?
Answer:
What people see in their dreams may be divided into three categories:
1- Visions or dreams that come from Allaah.
2- Attempts by the Shaytaan to frighten us.
3- The workings of the subconscious.
Prophet pbuh said:
Good dreams come from Allaah and bad dreams come from the
Shaytaan. If anyone sees a bad dream that scares him, let him spit
drily to his left (three times) and seek refuge with Allaah from its evil,
then it will not harm him.
(Sahih al-Bukhaari, Hadis no. 3292)
The basic rule is that some dreams come true. Dream interpretation is
a very complex subject and not everyone can interpret dreams. These
days so many unauthentic books are available in the market, which are
especially bought by women. People, especially females, depend a lot
on dreams and strive to find interpretation of every dream. This is not
right. Though some dreams have meaning, but dreams are dreams
after all. Most of the dreams are from shaytan and from the
subconscious mind of a person. What we think before sleep, or the
type of posture we adopt while sleeping, or the state of mind i.e fear,
joy, excitement, stress, etc, affects the type of dreams a lot.
With regards to the dreams shown by shaytan (jinn), they are of
several kinds. The jinn may show one getting intimate or in company of
one's 'beloved'. For the person this might be a GREAT dream. So
he/she might consider it from Allah. Ma'az Allah. Relations such as

bollywood ishq and hollywood bf/gf are forbidden in Islam. So originally
its a bad dream from shaytan, to encourage you to delve into sin, and
not a good dream from Allah.
The jinn may also pick up your worst memories and show them to you
in dreams. The jinn does that to frighten a person, or cause grief, or
disturb the peace of mind, and the more a person thinks about them,
the more he/she feels disturbed. This disturbed state opens gateways
in human body for the jinn to enter and cause much more harm. So the
solution is to better ignore dreams and act on the following hadis:
Dreams are of three types: glad tidings from Allaah, what is on a
persons mind, and frightening dreams from the Shaytaan. If any of
you sees a dream that he likes, let him tell others of it if he wishes, but
if he sees something that he dislikes, he should not tell anyone about
it, and he should get up and pray.
(Saheeh Sunan Ibn Maajah, 3154)
With regards to thinking about the dream and sharing it with others,
follow the advice of Rasul Allah s.a.w:
The Prophet said, "If anyone of you sees a dream that he likes, then it
is from Allah, and he should thank Allah for it and narrate it to others;
but if he sees something else, i.e., a dream that he dislikes, then it is
from Satan, and he should seek refuge with Allah from its evil, and he
should not mention it to anybody, for it will not harm him." (Sahih al
Bukhari)
"Jabir reported Allah's Messenger (may peace be upon him) as saying:
There came to him (the Holy Prophet) a desert Arab and said: I saw in a
dream that I had been beheaded and I had been following it (the
severed head). Allah's Apostle (may peace be upon him) reprimanded
him saying: Do not inform about the vain sporting of devil with you
during the night." (Sahih Muslim)
With regards to the jinn showing you death of someone beloved, do not
be frightened or disturbed. The time of death of all of us is destined.
You should pray to Allah and not think about the dream. Just act on the
above ahadis. It is sign of weakness of faith to rely on dreams and to
strive to know interpretation of every dream and to feel afraid from
dreams. You must revise and read much about aqeedah. It strengthens
one's faith. Moreover you should recite azkaar of morning and evening.
They are available easily. Moreover, recite this dua if you wakeup after
getting frightened during sleep:

.
I take refuge in the perfect words of Allaah from His anger and
punishment, and from the evil of His servants, and from the madness
and appearance of devils.
Also read this:
Hope it answers the question.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------8. LOOKS
Suffering from inferiority complex.
Question:
I think i am not good looking and i feel complex among people. It
affects me a lot.
Answer:
Looks are something that are not under one's control. Different looks
are allotted by Allah Almighty to different people, according to a great
hikmah. Man did not choose where he/she will be born. Some have
dark skin, some have fair skin. Some have sharp features, some have
other kind of features. Some have thin lips, some have thick lips. Some
have broad nose, some have sharp nose. Some have wide and big
eyes, some have other kind of eyes. Some have good height, some
have short height. All this is given by Allah subhana wata'aala. Looks
and features are inherited through the family. What can a person do?
Whats there to feel sad about? One has to live in this world, which is a
temporary place. One just cannot hide from people. One has to spend
life somehow. Life of this world is just a test. Different people have
different tests. So why feel any complex about something on which you
have no control and is from Allah subhana wataala.
Some dont have good looks, but have great soul, therefore loved by
people; some have great looks, but bad soul, therefore hated by
people. It is just the filthy standards of society which make others feel
deprived of something. What matters is the inner being and the body
language. One cannot change the features and looks much, but one
can change the way he/she behaves and the body language. One
should have confidence and always a smile on face. This is sunnah.
One should take care of all kinds of cleanliness i.e of face, mouth, hair,
body etc, and eat according to sunnah, as well as do exercise. One
should learn good speaking skills and facial expressions. There are so
many tips for such things available on internet these days. I guarantee
you that in the end, what matters is body language. A very attractive
person might look good in a picture or while still, but the moment
he/she starts speaking, or behaving, or walking etc in an odd way,
might put others off. So a lot depends on body language. Looks are
given by Allah, what we can do is to maintain what we have, by
wearing good and clean clothes, which is sunnah, and by acting on all
other sunnahs.
Thirdly, it is amazing that one complains of being bad looking, while

neglecting that he/she has a nose to breath, eyes to see, mouth to eat,
hands to use, feet to walk and run, tongue to taste and speak, ears to
hear and above all good health. It is just amazing how one can
complain. Many people dont have listening capability, others dont have
eyes to see, yet others dont have hands or feet to use. Some have
severe skin disease, leprosy, asthma, broken lip, disabled legs and
feet, blood cancer etc. Yet you have nothing and Allah blessed you with
health and everything. How can you complain? Dont you see so many
disabled and ill people around you!
Lastly, never let anyone feel you deprived. Those who make fun of
others actually themselves are insecure. They have no character and
are hated by people. They do not enjoy respect in society because of
bad character. What you must do is to behave according to sunnah.
Life of this world is not real life and real life is in jannah where a person
will be granted whatever he/she wishes for. As for this life, be patient
and utilize whatever you have to the best of your abilities.
Hope it answers the question.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------9. MARRIAGE
He wants to know the potential qualities of a wife.
Question:
Asalam o alaykum. Please tell me what qualities should i tell my ammi
to look for in a girl for shadi.
Answer:
Walekum us salam wr wb
Prophet of Allah sallalaho alayhi wassalam said:
"A woman is married for four things, her wealth, her family status, her
beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman, may
your hands be rubbed with dust."
(Sahih al Bukhari. Kitab un nikah. Hadith 27)
The prophet pbuh gave the best reply of what you have asked. There is
nothing wrong in asking your mother to find a girl who is beautiful, well
educated, from influential family, etc, but you should emphasize the
religious commitment point more and should give preference to it the
most. Tell your mother that you cannot compromise on this so kindly
see for a religiously committed girl.
Now the question is who is religiously committed and what does being
religious mean? The thing is there are two categories of religious
people in our society.
1- Traditional religious. Who are religious in outlook and because of
family culture.
2- Intellectually religious. Who have understood religion.
In our culture, a girl who offers prayers and puts dupatta on head is
considered religious. However, there is much more to being religious
than that. This girl maybe praying five times, but also watching ishq
mamnu and hum tb dramas. So explain to your mother nicely that you
prefer the second type i.e someone who has read religion in its true
essence and is practicing. Then there is this new "religious" generation
these days, called the facebook religious. You dont listen to music, you
pray, you talk in bbc accent, you talk of shariah and this is it for being
called religious. However, there is much more to religion than that.
Much much much more.
Secondly, let me tell you a million dollar thing. Do not be deceived by
facebook and social media. If someone sets islamic statuses, writes
articles, talks of shariah, etc etc; DO NOT THINK that she is practicing.
She maybe, but this is not the criteria. So avoid selecting a girl from
social media, rather try to know about her through proper sources.
Now many people ask how can one find out if the girl is well mannered
and has good qualities. They say we cannot know unless we make a
relation with some girl. The answer to this is, see the mother of the
girl. It is the mother who raises the children and most daughters inherit
qualities of the mother and learn to behave with their spouse as their
mothers behaved. So also tell your mother to carefully observe the
girl's mother.
As far as beauty is concerned, you can tell your mother your choice
and standard. However, be realistic and also look at yourself. You are
not perfect and therefore must not expect perfection. Secondly, I've
always heard knowledgable, wise, mature and experienced people say
that beauty lasts for a short time, but conduct and manners last and
emboss an impression forever. What will a person do of beauty if a
woman does not have manners to talk, does not give respect to the
man, does not cooperate, compromise, back bites, and cannot take
any responsibility? It is only her akhlaq, taqwa, cooperation, sacrifice

that will make you love her, and not her beauty. You will like beauty for
a week and then you will start looking for attributes mentioned above.
If they are there, you will be happy, if not, you will spend rest of your
life in HELL!!
I remember a brother talking to me and telling me that his family has

selected a girl for him whose religious commitment has really pleased
him. I asked him what about beauty. And he gave such a reply of which
i am sure he would have pleased Allah and he will meet the beloved
prophet pbuh in jannah i.A. He smiled and said:
"I will take the dua of the prophet (may your hands be rubbed with
dust) and marry the one who is religiously committed."
Subhan Allah!! Such faith in prophet's dua. I can imagine the barakah
this brother will have in his life and the children he will be having,
insha Allah.
So brother do not be deceived by disneyworld, Cinderella, snow white

and other such non sense. In the end, i want to say that i can mention
many qualities that you should be looking for in your potential spouse,
but let me tell you a great formula and a shortcut. Make dua to Allah.
Makes lots of dua. There are duas proven from sunnah regarding this,
which you can find in the azkaar and duas book of alhuda publications,
and many other such supplication books.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------10. PORN ADDICTION

She wants to know how should she react if her husband is watching
porn.
Question:
I am married since a year. My Husband is great, I could not ask for a
better husband, He is practicing, he cooks, cleans and does everything
for me, we are so in love and so intimate, but i recently discovered he
had been accessing excplicit videos, which has absolutely disgusted

me. He watches porn. I asked him for a divorce as i cant be with such a
man, i thought he only had eyes for me I really seek advice. Am i overreacting? I feel so low and humiliated.'
Answer:
Porn addiction is definitely a disease and an abnormal behavior.
Though, the western pyschologists and pyschiatrists, have contested
as to it being a disease, recently Dr. Richard Krueger, DSM-5 workgroup member (Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders) and associate
clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia Universitys College of
Physicians and Surgeons, has said that he has little doubt that porn
addiction is real and will eventually garner enough attention to be
recognized as a mental illness by the DSM.
According to very old statistics:

- Two in five Internet users visited an online adult site in August 2005
- 63.4 million unique visitors visited adult websites in December of
2005 reaching 37.2 percent of the internet audience
(Source: http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=134)
According to recent statistics:

68% of young adult men and 18% of women use porn at least once
every week. Another 17% and another 30% of women use porn 1-2
times per month. This means for 85% of young men and nearly half of
young women, watching porn is at least a monthly activity.
(Source: http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/)
According to statistics by google, the top searches for "sex" "porn" are
from Muslim Countries. Arab countries topping the list, followed by
Pakistan, Bangladesh. There is no doubt that porn addiction is a

disease and is destroying lives. It has serior negative consequences to
one's physical, mental, social, and financial well-being. According to
the famous psychologist Dr. MaryAnne Layden:
"I have also seen in my clinical experience that pornography damages
the sexual performance of the viewers. Pornography viewers tend to
have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction.
Having spent so much time in unnatural sexual experiences with
paper, celluloid and cyberspace, they seem to find it difficult to have
sex with a real human being. Pornography is raising their expectation
and demand for types and amounts of sexual experiences; at the same
time it is reducing their ability to experience sex."
Hence we have established how destructive porn can be. For more info
please see:
http://www.covenanteyes.com/pornstats/
and follow this page:
https://www.facebook.com/PornHarms
Now coming to your question. It is very sad. We all pray for the brother.
We all pray to Allah to help him recover from this filthy habit. We all
pray to Allah to help all the brothers who are involved in this filth.
Ameen ya Rabb. According to an article at Muslim Matters, (i wont
mention too many sources as reading too much such material can
harm the mind), many practicing Muslim Husbands are involved in this.
I again pray to Allah, may Allah help them, drive them out of this, and
may Allah destroy the porn industry that is causing so much sorrow,
grief, and damage in people's personal and family lives. Ameen
Sister, you are clearly over reacting. Giving divorce to a guy; who is
practicing, and helps you with house chores, and loves you; because of
the one mistake or fault in him, is the stupidest mistake any woman
can ever do. Know that there is no such thing as a perfect man or a
'perfect' husband. The western women and non practicing women wait
for a prince charming on one hand, the practicing sisters wait for a
prince da'ee on the other hand. Know that there is no such thing as
prince charming or a prince da'ee (who is like a super model daee with
amazing speaking skills, taqwa touching mountains, and pefection like
the angels). Yes, many pious brothers who are daees with great
qualities exist, but their secret life is only known to Allah. May Allah
hide our sins, and may Allah not put us to torment and shame on the
Big Day, and may Allah help everyone over come their sins. Ameen
You have to deal with this problem with patience and hikmah rather
than over reacting with emotions. Good men are really hard to find
these days. Imagine if you were married with a fornicator, who lied,
who had many affairs, a drunkard, who never prayed, and would beat
you. Therefore be wise and do not take emotional decision. I would be
blunt in advising you. But i must. May Allah have mercy on you, your
husband and all such couples. Ameen
Firstly, when i say 'dont over react', i dont mean that you dont rebuke
him, or neglect his behavior. Don't condone and accept his misbehavior, but sternly rebuke him and then forgive without bringing up
the issue every now and then. What wives do is they see a mistake in a
husband, and they bring that mistake every now and then, especially
when they are angry. Make him your friend, try to understand him so
that he fears annoying you. If you push it too much he will do his stuff
behind your back leaving you waiting in the house endlessly and
making excuses that he is busy and returning home late. What will you
achieve then? Give him more attention and love so that he does not
have a chance. It is difficult but not impossible. Trying to take revenge
in a marriage is not the solution. I gurantee you, that he must turn to
this filth, whenever you fight with him, or forsake him. So try to not do
this. Yes, fights and arguments do happen. But they should not lead to
one partner forsaking the other.
Secondly, many wives neglect the advice of Rasul Allah s.a.w, and
think that this hadis is either degradation of women, or means
'something else'. No sister. This hadis does not mean 'something else'
or has 'some other meaning', But it is exactly as it mentioned:

The Prophet sallalaho alayhi wassalam said:
"Idhaa ar-rajulu da'aa zaujatahu li haajatihi tal ta'tihi wa in kaanat 'alaa
at-tannoor."
"Whenever a man calls his wife for his desire, let her come to him even
if she is occupied at the oven." At-Tirmidhi (sahih)
Many people do not understand the urgency and depth of the matter
mentioned in this hadis. "....even if she is occupied at the oven".. Such
security Islam gave to a husband, so that he may be safe from haram
acts. Women on the other hand take this commandment lightly and
think it to be degrading women. However, the matter is as plain and
simple as mentioned in the hadis. Wives should adopt the most
welcoming attitude they can with regards to this matter.
(Please note: This does not mean that wives have no rights and that
husbands should treat wives as just a sex object. Rights of wives is a
separate subject, of which time and space does not allow to be
discussed, nor the subject of the question requires it to be discussed,
so dont bring this issue up).
Thirdly, try to always adorn yourself for the husband and adopt
different creative measures and methods to enjoy sexual life. Many
couples report losing all the vigor and energy after some months/years
and wives do not at all adorn themselves for the husbands. We do not
need to discuss here how couples can adorn themselves and adopt
creative methods.
Fourthly, help your husband by being his friend. By being his secret
keeper. Offer him your help fully. Tell him you love him and are there to
help him as much as you can. Tell him you want him to go to jannah,
with you. I fully understand you condition, but you must understand.
You will make him more arrogant and sinful, if you adopted an
unforgiving attitude, and cursed him, over advised him, threw tons of
fatwas on him, coupled with curses and reminders of fearing God and
Hell. Yes you must remind, but with love, ofcourse when you cool down.
Trust me, when he will see your love and care, he will curse himself for
doing this sin, whenever he will try to go back to this sin, he will
remember your love, care and sincerity, and this will put his nafs in
such pressure that i.A the power of love and commitment will help him
over come this habit.
Fifthly, the husband can act on the following, personally.

1) Constantly reminding oneself of the destructive disadvantages of
watching porn. (you can find out many articles from the facebook page
i pasted above)
2) Reading Qur'an and du'a everyday, and paying charity.
3) Never staying home alone if possible
4) Praying on time
5) Going to the wife when ever he felt the desire (the wife must be
enthusiastic when it comes to sexual matters)
6) Encouraging wife to adorn and always dress provocatively when at
home.
7) Remember always the guilt and shame.
8) Restrict internet usage to the bare minimum and only out of need
and necessity.
9) Requesting wife or any other person to invigilate you when you are
using the internet.
10) Usually people watch porn when they are bored and have free
time. All evil comes from spare time, as this is when a human is at his
most vulnerable, you have nothing to do, nothing to pre-occupy your
mind, so in order to fill this void, you commit a sin such as watching
porn. The message here is always occupy your mind with something
useful (read a book, visit a friend, play football/sports, start a project,
anything really, as long as it is not haram ) never remain idle when you
have time on your hands as boredom can be your downfall, and lead
you to the wrong path.
In the end, we all pray for you, for your husband, and for all the men
out there, married/unmarried. May Allah help everyone and may Allah
save them. Ameen
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------11. MOVIES
Wants to know how to advice regarding watching movies.
Question:
Salam. How to convince someone to stop watching movies.
Answer:
Walekum salam wr wb
I dont know whats up with this 'convince' mentality these days.
Everyone wants to 'convince' others. This is not the way to start
dawah. Youngsters watch videos of western and other speakers, and
they want to become like them in one day. They want to give a talk and
talk to people about Islam in one day and convert them in one day,
whereas they lack manners of dawah and basic usool and aqeedah.
They do not understand the true purpose of dawah. The only and only
purpose of dawah is to please Allah. That is it. It takes a while to
understand this purpose. It takes proper study from quran and seerah
to understand this purpose. This understanding does not come by
watching videos of daees. Allah clearly mentioned this purpose in the
Glorious Quran:
"Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying
are for Allah , Lord of the worlds." (6:162)
Allah said:
"Indeed, you do not guide whom you like, but Allah guides whom He
wills. And He is most knowing of the [rightly] guided." (28:56)
"So remind, you are only a reminder. You are not over them a
controller." (88:21-22)
The main aim of telling someone about good should only be to please
Allah. If convincing people was ever an aim of dawah, then nauz billah
Prophet Noah (AS) failed in the mission. Because he could only
convince a few people during a long tenure. But in reality he actually
succeeded because he was able to please Allah. So first of all, a daee
should be very very clear about the purpose of dawah. Once this
convincing mentality will be gone, things will become very smooth i.A.
Read some good book on etiquettes of dawah.
As for movies, the problem is the same. What will you achieve by
making someone who doesnt even know abc of islam, and doesnt pray
a single prayer, leave movies? First invite others to good such and
faraiz such as prayer, etiquettes, fiqh of muamlaat etc. If you want to
tell someone the harms of watching movies, then simply mention those
harms in an ahsan manner. Tell them you dont watch movies because
of such and such reasons. If they argue then dont lengthen the
argument, for its a waste of time. Learn to avoid arguing. Its part of
etiquette of dawah.
As for harms of watching movies, as they are made today, they are as
follows:
1- Propagation of immorality. Every movie almost has vulgar scenes.
Even the most shameless of people will agree the vulgarity point. Such
scenes affect brain a lot and drive one towards immorality.
2- Propagation of crime, abnormal behavior, aggressive behavior, silly
behavior, profane behavior. The use of F word is very common in
movies these days.
3- Making one live in fantasy world, imagining him/herself to be a
certain character of the movie, detaching one from the real world.
People try to copy the characters voice, body language, actions,
clothing, etc.
4- Corrupting the aqeeda and belief by propagating atheism,

materialism, godless philosophies and every other rubbish.
5- Subliminal messages. Brain has an unconscious part which reads
and sees the subliminal messages in movies. Such messages affect the
daily functioning, views and decisions of the individual a lot. For more
details: (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Subliminal_stimuli)
6- Corrupting married life by making one feel deprived.
In the end, the matter is simple. The God fearing will understand such
harms. Others will not understand or deny them intentionally. So follow
the rule:
"So remind, if the reminder should benefit; He who fears [ Allah ] will
take the reminder." (87:9-10)

She wants guidance about interaction in co-education.
Question:
is it haram to make boyfrnd on net and do chat with them ????
and if we are studyng in co-education,,should we talk to male class
felows or this is also haram ?
guide me please,,but not on ur wall,,its a secret question,,i was
searching to whom i should ask this personl question !!
thankeww !
(Permission taken from the sister to share it openly)
Answer:
Asalam o alaykum
Dear sister, thankyou for asking the question and trusting us.
Before i answer your question my dear younger sister, let me tell you
that you are lucky to be born a muslim, for how many people are out
there who are not born in a muslim family. You were chosen by Allah
and granted this favor. So thank much about it. A Muslim is a great
title. Allah has called Muslims the best of people. Allah says:
"You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You
enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah."
(3:110)
So, a Muslim is an example for others. A muslim avoids all bad things
and enjoins all that is good. And let me tell you my dear sister that
every hukm of Islam is for the good of human being. Allah says:
"Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship."
(2:185)
Now coming to your question, it is haram to make boyfriends, because

Islam protects women from misuse and getting hurt. Islam honors
woman and has provided a halal way for her physical and emotional
needs i.e to get married. But you know what happens in relations. Girls
make boyfriends and they misuse them, promise them marriage, and
then in the end what happens? Relations break. Psychological torture.
And so much more. Scandals get famous. It is because of all such
things that Islam forbids male/female frankness. Islam wants to protect
and honor woman. If you see, whats happening in west? Every girl has
upto 4-5 boyfriends. What kind of a immoral society are they making.
You can see the disastrous results. So islam says no to boyfriends and
girlfriends. It says get married or be patient.
Now coming to chatting question. Chating with males leads to

shameful activities which i do not want to mention. Rasul Allah s.a.w
said that when two male and female and alone, the third one present
with them is shaytan. And shaytan entices them to do shameful acts.
One day frankness will increase and it will lead to shameful activities
on chat, skype, etc. So, a wise muslimah, such as yourself, stays away
from such activities and keeps her honor, and does not deceive parents
who raised her up by sacrificing a lot.
With regards to co education, it is haram. But if u are studying in it and

cannot leave, then what u can do is to not interact much with males,
except for need. Useless interaction must be avoided and you must
speak not in a soft and frank tone, lest some boy becomes khush
fehem. Allah says:
"If you fear Allah , then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in
whose heart is disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an
honorable way." (33:32)
Hope it answers the question you asked. Take care of yourself and
never let anyone misuse you or look at you with bad intent. Be a slave
of Allah and then see how much success Allah will give you.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------13. CONFUSION REGARDING AN AYAH

Query of a sister about stern ayah of the Quran rebuking women
Question:
Assalam o Alaikum wr wbr,
There's something that really bothers me sometimes and I believe
takes
me farther away from my Iman. As a person, I'm femenist. That doesn't
mean I'm against men or their attitudes, or so pro-women as to go
against the boundries of Islam. But often at times, I'm really
determined to read the Quran and its translation, and when its about
women, some things get me offended. I know its so so bad and so
hurtful to say, but for example: just now I was reading surah
tehreem's translation and its about how the prophet was intimate with
hazrat maria while he went for hazrat hafsa.. and she was mad so Allah
swt was stating to the women to stop being egoistic or he will replace
them for better wives.
I was so offended. I know this is so wrong, but it makes me sad, and
make me not wanna read the Quran further, and makes me rebelious
at
times. I know Allah swt is right in everything everyway, every word.
How do I accept it? Feels like there's a descrimination against women.

In our culture ofcourse. My dad always taught me to be strong and
steadfast, and here you have to be just giving giving giving with no
expectations and youre only valuable when you're good at chores.
And so I refer to the Quran, which has ayahs like these that make me
so sad!
Help?
Answer:
Thankyou sister for asking this question openly. It shows your
sincerity and zeal for knowing about the deen.
First of all, i want you to know that women in Quran, by name, or

indirectly, have been pointed out 4-5 times in the whole Quran. Allah
has pointed them out for their high status and sometimes for mistakes
and rebuked them, especially prophet's wives.
Compare this with men. Who have been pointed out, by name, and
indirectly, as a whole, hundreds of times, and rebuked in such a
manner, that every man should become rebellious and feel offended if
he adopts your approach. All the rebellious creature on earth, were
not women, but men, according to the Quran. Who was Firaun? Who
was
Qaroon? Who was Abu Jahal? Who was Abu Lahab?
Consider this. An ayah about the father of all human beings, ADAM
(AS). After Adam and eve, both committed mistake and ate the apple
from
the forbidden tree. Whom did Allah rebuke?
"And indeed We made a covenant with Adam before, but he forgot, and
We
found on his part no firm will-power." (20:115)
Did Allah say, Eve forgot and He found on her part no firm will-power?
A misogynist will say, Allah is blaming a MAN for everything. How
unjust. I must turn rebellious.
"Thus did Adam disobey his Lord, so he went astray." (20:121)
Did Allah say, thus did Eve disobey and she went astray, or thus did
Adam and Eve disobey? Oh no. This is a clear discrimination against
men!
Consider the following ayah revealed for wicked men as a whole:

" Nay! Verily, he will be thrown into the crushing Fire." (104:4)
Consider this for Abu Lahab:

'Perish the two hands of Abu Lahab, and perish he!
He will be burnt in a Fire of blazing flames!" (111:1-3)
Consider this for Abu Jahl:

"Nay! If he (Ab Jahl) ceases not, We will catch him by the forelock,
A lying, sinful forelock!
We will call the guards of Hell (to deal with him)!" (96:15-18)
A person who does not know what abu lahab & Abu Jahal did, and who
they were, must turn rebellious after reading this ayah according to a
misgynist appraoch.
Then Allah Almighty rebuked men as a whole at more than 100 places
in
the Quran. In this ayah, He reminds men that they are a dirty drop of
nutfah:
"Does not man see that We have created him from Nutfah. Yet behold!
He
(stands forth) as an open opponent." (36:77)
"Nay! Verily, man does transgress all bounds. Because he considers
himself self-sufficient." (96:6-7)
"And truly, most of men are Fasiqn." (5:49)
WHAT! Most MEN are fasiqun? How could it be! This is discrimination!
Imagine, if the ayah was, most WOMEN are fasiqun? How would
feminists
have reacted? Do we see the same reaction from men?
Consider this ayah and stern rebuke revealed for Sahaba (the greatest
men on earth):
"O you who believe! Raise not your voices above the voice of the
Prophet (SAW), nor speak aloud to him in talk as you speak aloud to
one another, lest your deeds may be rendered fruitless while you
perceive not." (49:2)
Another rebuke for Sahaba:

"Will you not fight a people who have violated their oaths (pagans of
Makkah) and intended to expel the Messenger, while they did attack
you
first? Do you fear them? Allh has more right that you should fear
Him, if you are believers." (9:13)
"And whatsoever the Messenger (Muhammad SAW) gives you, take it,
and
whatsoever he forbids you, abstain (from it) , and fear Allh. Verily,
Allh is Severe in punishment." (59:7)
Consider this ayah and incident mentioned in the Quran, for one of the
greatest man that ever lived, Prophet Yunus (AS):
"And, verily, Ynus (Jonah) was one of the Messengers. When he ran to
the laden ship, He (agreed to) cast lots, and he was among the losers,
Then a (big) fish swallowed him and he had done an act worthy of
blame. Had he not been of them who glorify Allh, He would have
indeed
remained inside its belly (the fish) till the Day of Resurrection."
(37:139-144)
Some misogynist may say. WHAT!! Allah exposing mistake of a MAN

who
was a PROPHET! Allah rebuked him, called him a LOSER and banished
him
into the belly of a whale! Im shocked!
Lets leave sahaba, prophets, men as a whole, and come to the greatest
of men and greatest of Prophets.
Rebuke 1:
"O Prophet! Keep your duty to Allah, and obey not the disbelievers and
the hypocrites. Verily! Allh is Ever AllKnower, AllWise." (33:1)
Rebuke 2:
"And (remember) when you said to him (Zaid) and you have done
favour
(by manumitting him): "Keep your wife to yourself, and fear Allah."
But you did hide in yourself that which Allah will make manifest, you
did fear the people whereas Allah had a better right that you should
fear Him." (33:37)
Rebuke 3:
"O Prophet! Why do you ban (for yourself) that which Allh has made
lawful to you, seeking to please your wives? And Allh is
Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (66:1)
The point to note. The surah which contains the ayahs that offended
you, about prophet's wives, starts with Allah rebuking the Prophet
pbuh first.
Rebuke 4:
" And never say of anything, "I shall do such and such thing
tomorrow." Except (with the saying), "If Allh will!" And remember
your Lord when you forget and say: "It may be that my Lord guides me
unto a nearer way of truth than this."
(18:23-24)
The tafseer of this ayah is that once Prophet pbuh forgot to say insha
Allah, and then wahee got delayed for many days and Prophet pbuh
was
so worried and subjected to the taunts of Quraish Mushriks who said he

is not receiving wahee, his Lord has forsaken him.
Rebuke 5:
"(The Prophet) frowned and turned away, Because there came to him
the
blind man. But what could tell you that per chance he might become
pure (from sins)? Or that he might receive admonition, and that the
admonition might profit him? As for him who thinks himself
self-sufficient,
To him you attend; What does it matter to you if he will not become
pure (from disbelief, you are only a Messenger, your duty is to convey
the Message of Allh). But as to him who came to you running. And is
afraid (of Allh and His Punishment), Of him you are neglectful and
divert your attention to another."
(80:1-10)
ALLAH HU AKBAR! Ten ayahs rebuking the Prophet pbuh and reminding
him
of his mistake.
And i can quote hundreds of stern ayahs, full of rebuke, to the

sahaba, men, ambiya.
Now lets turn to women. How many ayahs pointing out women as a
whole,
and reminding them of severe punishment of Allah? How many ayahs

rebuking women?
How many ayahs praising women? Yes that should be asked. Not an
ayah.
A COMPLETE surah revealed in defense of a woman. A wife of Prophet
(pbuh). A COMPLETE surah revealed, rebuking the whole of Muslim
society, men in particular, as if asking them "HOW DARE YOU THINK
LIKE
THAT ABOUT SUCH A WOMAN!"
Surah Noor. Chapter 24. Consider some ayahs of this surah, about
rebuke and Allah's wrath:
"And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four
witnesses,
flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever,
they indeed are the Fsiqn (liars, rebellious, disobedient to
Allh)." (24:4)
Imagine, 80 lashes for the one who accuses or calls bad names to any
woman! Compare this with rap songs, calling women 'bi**h, wh**e, h**'
etc etc.But the Western feminists are against the Quran and love rap.
"Verily! Those who brought forth the slander (against 'Aishah) are a
group among you. Unto every man among them will be paid that which
he
had earned of the sin, and as for him among them who had the greater
share therein, his will be a great torment." (24:11)
"Why then, did not the believers, men and women, when you heard it
(the slander) think good of their own people and say: "This (charge)
is an obvious lie?.....with Allh they are the liars." (24:12-13)
"Had it not been for the Grace of Allh and His Mercy unto you in this
world and in the Hereafter, a great torment would have touched you
for
that whereof you had spoken." (24:14)
And then a complete surah named after a woman, Mariam. Surah

Maryam.
Interestingly, the surah you were reading, Surah Tehreem, chapter 66,
starts with rebuke of the Prophet (pbuh) and finishes with praise of
women. But ofcourse. Both of these points missed.
"And Allah has set forth an example for those who believe, the wife of
Fir'aun, when she said: "My Lord! Build for me a home with You in
Paradise, and save me from Fir'aun (Pharaoh) and his work, and save
me
from the people who are Zalimun. And Maryam, the daughter of 'Imran
who guarded her chastity; and We breathed into through Our Ruh [i.e.
Jibrael (Gabriel)], and she testified to the truth of the Words of her
Lord, and (also believed in) His Scriptures, and she was of the
Qanitin (i.e. extremely obedient to Allah)." (66:11-12)
If Allah has rebuked the wives of Prophet (pbuh), he has also

mentioned their high status and asked whole of Muslim Ummah to
respect
them:
"The Prophet is closer to the believers than their ownselves, and his
wives are theirmothers (as regards respect and marriage).... This has
been written in the (Allah's Book of Divine) Decrees (AlLauh
AlMahfz)." (33:6)
Who is Allah? The Lord of the Aalameen. Who holds a status greater
than a father of a person. If a father can rebuke his/her children?
Why can't Allah? If men were to be as sensitive as feminists, then im
afraid all men would have revolted against Allah (ma'az Allah),
because of the great number of times they have been rebuked,
warned,
and pointed out for mistakes in the Quran.
Lets not go into details of women rights in Islam. Just one quote is
enough. The sahaba used to be jealous of women, and used to say to
Prophet (pbuh) that women have much more rights than them.
Thousands of articles are available on the internet. You can refer to
this 1 article:
http://rasoulallah.net/index.php/en/articles/category/1016
In the end, i would like to say, blame the bad treatment of women on
bad men, uninformed and ignorant men, who do not know the
teachings of
Islam, not on Allah or Quran. It is in our culture that woman is
considered very inferior and is only giving and not taking anything.
But this culture is not Islamic culture. Read this book. Must read.
Lots of your misconceptions will be removed insha Allah:
http://www.way-to-allah.com/en/documents/WomeninIslam.pdf
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------14. DUA
She wants to know if it's ok to pray for a particular person for marriage.
Question:
Aoa, I wanna ask u a question k agr hame koi acha lagta ho....hamara
koi contact na ho...kuch bi na ho..ham sochte bi ni ho k na mehram ko
sochna gunna ha..I ask k kia us ko pane ki dua kr skte ha.,ya ye bi
galat ha????
Answer:
First of all you should understand that dua is an act of worship and
therefore a person must be very serious while making dua and make it
as beautiful as he/she can.
Allaah says in the Quran:

And your Lord said: Invoke Me. I will respond to your (invocation).
Verily, those who scorn My worship (i.e. do not invoke Me) they will
surely enter Hell in humiliation!
[Ghaafir 40:60]
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace
and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: (The duaa) of any one of
you will be answered so long as he is not hasty in seeking a response
and does not say, I prayed but I have not had a response.
(Sahih al-Bukhaari, Hadith no. 5981)
So dua should not be made in a casual manner and one should not be
hasty.
Secondly, Allah listens to all duas, and to everyone, He is as samee.

When one makes any dua, Allah answers in the following ways:
Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: There is no
Muslim who calls upon Allaah with words in which there is no sin or
severing of family ties but Allaah will give him one of three things:
either He will answer his prayer soon, or He will store it up for him in
the Hereafter, or He will remove something bad from him that is
equivalent to what he is asking for. They said, Then we should make
a great amount of duaa. He said, Allaah is greater.
(Tirmidhi, Hadith no. 3573; classed as saheeh by al-Tirmidhi and
others)
Now coming to your main question. What is meant by 'paaney ki dua'.

If it means dua to get married, then there is nothing wrong and one
can pray to get married to someone. But note that one may like
someone who is not fit for him/her. Many teenagers like a girl or a boy
based on things such as looks, money, fame, etc, while neglecting so
many other things such as good akhlaq, maturity, knowledge of deen,
religious commitment, responsible etc. They may pray to get married
to a person who appears great on internet but in reality is not
responsible, religiously committed, good akhlaq etc. So one must make
sure to pray for the right thing. Many people pray day and night to get
married to a specific person, and when they get married to that
person, things turn out different and life becomes miserable, then they
blame Allah that He spoiled their qismat. Such is the nature of human
beings. So be wise in making dua. Allah said:
"But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you
love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know
not." (2:216)
As for liking a righteous person and wishing to get married to him/her.

Shaykh ibn uthaymeen said:
"A person may hear that a woman is of good character and virtuous
and knowledgeable, so he may want to marry her. Or a woman may
hear that a man is of good character and virtuous and knowledgeable
and religiously committed, so she may want to marry him. But contact
between the two who admire one another in ways that are not
Islamically acceptable is the problem, which leads to disastrous
consequences. In this case it is not permissible for the man to get in
touch with the woman or for the woman to get in touch with the man,
and say that he wants to marry her. Rather he should tell her wali
(guardian) that he wants to marry her, or she should tell her wali that
she wants to marry him, as Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him)
did when he offered his daughter Hafsah in marriage to Abu Bakr and
Uthmaan (may Allaah be pleased with them both). But if the woman
contacts the man directly, this is what leads to fitnah (temptation)."
Liqaaaat al-Baab il-Maftooh (26/question no. 13)

Hewants to know whether high five with female class fellows is
allowed.
Question:
Is it permissible to do high fives with female class fellows.
Answer:
These days co education is common in schools, institutes, universities
etc. This system has come from the west. The consequences of co
education have been disastrous in the west. Books have been written
on the harms of co education by western intellectuals. It is a surprising
fact that the best and top institutes of west, such as oxford university,
where leaders are produced, do not have co education system. We on
the other hand, mentally colonized nation as we are, are copying every
thing from the west that ripped their social fabric apart.
"Regardless of what some individuals say about co education

environment that it softens heart and opens minds of people, its
actually a real threat and danger to morality and moral values of
society. Regardless of what they claim that co education provides both
sexes with the necessary experience that is needed for a long lasting
marital tie, it is really nothing but nonsense. Many marriages are
failing, ending up with divorces and broken homes even after the full
acquisition of both the parties with each other before marriage. Many
illegal sexual relations develop in co education environment as a way
of life. The percentage of pregnant high school girls as a result of co
ed. society reached 48% in US. The number of broken homes (divorces)
which were erected on the so-called love and free choice of dating,
increased drastically between the years of 1890-1948. With 6% in
1890, it rose to 40% in 1948."
(International peace and Islam. Syed Qutb)
Can you imagine? If the pregnant girls and rate of divorces was that
much in 1948, how much would it be now? How much disastrous
consequences this system has brought in lives of people, yet we are
blind to all this and take pride in sending our children to co education.
As far as your question is concerned, actions such as high fives,

shaking hands, hugs, etc are common in co education system. These
things are bound to happen. Islam is clearcut about prohibiting a man
touching a woman and vice versa. The prophet of Allah sallalaho alayhi
wassalam said:
"It is better for an iron nail to be driven into the head of a man, than for
him to touch a woman who is not permissible for him."
(Narrated by at-Tabrani, in his al-Mu'jam al-Kabir (Vol.20 Pg.211). This

narration has been classified as Sahih (authentic) by Allamah ibn Hajr.)
Some people say, this is for the un educated people who dont have
manners and are desperate for women. Decent and educated people
know how to deal with females. Besides, they say, its all about the
intention.
Its a funny argument. Prophet of Allah s.a.w was the most educated,
modest, decent, well mannered man ever, and he never shook hand
with a woman, not even for religious purpose. He used to take bait
from sahaba by hand, but he never took bait from women by hand.
Aisha razi Allah anha, the beloved wife of prophet s.a.w, said:
"I swear by Allah, The Prophet's hand never touched the hand of a
woman. He would receive their oath of allegiance by spoken
declaration. I swear by Allah, the Prophet (Peace and blessings be upon
him) never took any vow from women except what Allah had ordered
him to take and his palm never touched the palm of a woman. When
he had taken their pledge, he would tell them he had taken their oath
from them orally."
[Sahih Muslim]
The Prophet of Allah (Peace and blessings be upon him) did not touch
women who were not permissible (shaking hands, etc.). This despite
the fact the oath of allegiance was originally given by hand. So what
about these other men going around doing high fives? Are they nobler
than the prophet? Are they more decent and educated than the
prophet?
The matter is simple. You know, we all know, what happens at

campuses. The scandals, black mailing, sexual harassment,
degradation of women. The psychological torture one has to bear. We
all know where this co education thing leads one. Yet people are blind.
They send their daughters proudly in co education and then have to

bear the fruits of it when she becomes a victim of "ishq", some scandal
and in extreme cases, sexual encounter. May Allah give understanding
to our people and make them follow the laws of Islam which alone can
bring people relief and contentment.
You should maintain distance from na mehrams and not sit in their
company. Whenever need arises, just talk to them in an honorable tone
and not extend the talk without any purpose. Bollywood movies
promote this friendship culture between opposite sexes, however, we
all know the rape cases happening in india and according to a survey,
50% of indian females will lose their virginity before reaching university
level. This is the blessings of bollywood. May Allah give understanding
to our people. Ameen.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------16. ISTAQAMAAH ON VEIL

She wants to know whether she should practise veil in Canada.
Question:
Asalamoalikum,
I have a question too. I have been looking for a research position
abroad and most probably i will get one in canada. Here in Pakistan i
do veil and try to pray 5 times but i am not a good muslim like one
should be. I do pray and seek guidance and want to be good but
believe me i am very low in eman and when someone sees me in veil, I
myself feel ashamed that i am not giving its its haq.
Now my question is when i go to canada should i continue my veil or
should i take it off... i will be doing abaya and headcover but i have
severe issues with veil as i dont know how people will behave with me
there due to this veil
I have been doing this for the last 6.7 years and beleive it or not i have
earned alot more respect due to this veil and abaya but i am very very
confuse that should i open my face now in canada or should i be
continuing with it?
Plz guide me through Quran and Sunnah..

Jzak Allah Khair
Answer:
Thankyou for opening up, trusting and writing this question to us.
Praise be to Allah Who gives guidance to whomsoever He wills, and
sends astray Whomsoever He wills. In His control is the hearts of all
beings.
First of all i totally understand that being a female is not easy. Although
i am a brother, but i have idea how much challenges a muslimah has to
face in today's world. A woman has to face more social pressures than
a man. Allah Almighty knew that women would face more pressure
than men, that is why Allah gave her great strength and qualities like
perseverance. Look at women like Hazrat Asiya, Mariam, Khadijah,
Fatima and Ayesha (may Allah be pleased with them all). The strength
they exhibited is unmatched and a model for all women to follow.
I have read your question properly and would like to advise you to do
somethings which are as follows:
Know that Allah blessed you with understanding of deen and gave you
the honor of acting on the best way of life. Also be pleased that He
made you a woman and so bestowed strength and perseverance upon
you, its upto you to realize this and bring out that strength. Thank Allah
much. This is psychological training of mind.
Be confident in what you are doing. Allah said:

"Say: "Verily, I am commanded to be the first of those who submit
themselves to Allah." And be not you of the Mushrikun." (6:14)
Allah commands muslims to be proud of their way if life and not feel
any inferiority complex among the disbelievers, rather present their
way of life to them.
Pray to Allah to bestow strength upon you. Pray a lot at prescribed

times for duaa. And pray with conviction. This is spiritual training. You'll
feel greatly relaxed after making duaa.
Secondly, it is consensus of scholars of ahl e sunnah wal jama'ah that it

is not permissible to live amongst kuffar and in their lands without any
solid reason. Please read the following links:
Finally, although there is difference of opinion among the scholars as to

the status of face covering, whether farz or not, but even those
scholars who do not declare it as farz say that it is good to cover the
face. It is a fact that shaykh nasir al din albani's daughter covers her
face, even though he gave the fatwa that it is not farz. Someone asked
him you gave fatwa that face veil is not farz, then why does your
daughter covers her face, to which he replied:
"That is my fatwa, but this is my taqwa."
If you ask my personal advice, you should not leave face veil because
of the specific reasons you mentioned. I know stories of many people
who left one good thing they were doing because of certain reasons,
and Allah turned their hearts and they left so many other good things
too. Allah says:

"And among mankind is he who worships Allah upon a narrow marge
so that if good befalls him he is content therewith, but if a trial befalls
him, he falls away utterly. He loses both the world and the Hereafter.
That is the sheer loss!" (22:11)
I personally know a brother who had a beautiful long beard but shaved
it off because of family pressure, and now he does not even offer
prayer and is in bad company. We seek refuge from Allah from such a
condition. Ameen.
Hold fast to all the good you are doing and feel proud at it. Thank Allah
much for having bestowed good upon you. Do not be discouraged by
trials. Face them and then see the barakah in life. Keep yourself
connected with Allah through azkaar and recitation of quran and
listening to some good tafseer etc. Also do keep reciting the following
duas:
Ya muqqallib al quloob, sabbit qalbi ala deenik
Rabbana la tuzigh quloobana ba'ada iz hadaitana wa hablana min
ladunka rahmatan innaka anta alwahhab.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------17. SOCIAL MEDIA ADDICTION

She wants advice regarding her husband using facebook all the time.
Question:
Asalam o alaikum. My husband is always using facebook and cell
phone, and i feel neglected. Any advice.
Answer:
You have raised a very very important issue, which has made people's
lives miserable. The suffering soul of scientific age is not an alien topic
now. Western psychologists and social scientists are raising such issues
a lot these days. You will read many articles, essays in magazines,
newspapers, etc, these days, talking about how gadgets and social
media are robbing people of peace, taking them away from

socialization, hence proving as death to social relations. There is no
doubt at all that the technology of today has proven to be more of a
curse than a blessing. This is because it matters a lot who is and with
what intention one is making the technology. There was a time when
muslims taught the whole world science and the world witnessed great
scientific achievements and a peaceful society. This was because they
studied science to know the Creator of science. Today, it is the
opposite. Today's science is nothing but anti thesis of spirituality and
death of religion. People may disagree but this is the bottom line.
Accidents, psychological diseases, suicides, depression, frustration,

laziness, obesity, etc, all are increasing at an alarming rate. Social
relations are deteriorating. People are becoming devoid of peace of
mind. All this because of the carelessness that has been made while
studying science i.e neglecting the Creator of science.
Addiction to gadgets and facebook etc is having massively adverse

effects on people's lives. According to a psychological research, 8 out
of 10 people felt the extreme urge to respond to ring tone of their cell
phone when it was taken away from them, and were observed at great
un ease. Similarly, many people cannot spend the day, be at ease, or
digest the food, until they see their facebook notifications. Their mind
is always occupied with conversations happening in sms, facebook,
twitter, etc. Their sensory nerves are always waiting for the ring tone
stimulus and hence this disturbs their daily functioning a lot, such as
driving, socializing, task solving etc.
This addiction is deteriorating intimate relations too. Children dont talk

to parents, siblings or socialize with relatives, because of gaming, fb,
smsing etc. Even while sitting amongst intimate relations, people are
either busy doing sms, facebooking at smart phones, playing some
game, or browsing. This is height of ill manners and immaturity. This is
what Albert Einstein said that i fear the day when the world will be full
of idiots because of excess of technology.
It is sad that today muslims do not even know basic manners of

talking. Hazrat Aisha (r) while explaining the body language of Rasul
Allah sallalaho alahyi wassalam said that when someone would talk to
him, he will turn away his whole face, as well as body towards him and
listen to him. Today, people talk to others while looking at cell phone,
ipad or tv. This is foolishness and bad manners. This will destroy
relations and the people have all the right to complain about this
serious matter.
As for your plea, the husband should fear Allah and if he is sincere with
the relation, must mend his ways right now, or else he might have to
bear the brunt and eat the fruits of what he is sowing. Same goes for
wives. They should give time to husband, family, babies, household
chores, instead of always posting pictures of their babies on fb and
reading comments and celebrating all this.
One must get rid of the addiction before its too late. Shaytan makes
people believe they are doing great at facebook and people feel great
at fb because of the fake image and respect that fb statuses brings
them. It is funny actually. Shaytan playing with even daees like this.
Making them feel they are doing great, whereas in reality they are
neglecting the most basic responsibilities. Some of the ways to get rid
of this addiction:
- Set a specific time to use fb and not to use it in any other hours.
- Deactivating fb account once in a week/month.
- Setting cell at silent while driving, best is to switch it off.
- Not bringing cell phone to social gatherings, or setting it at silent
mode.
- Not entertaining too much socializing at cell phone, fb etc, so that
one does not have to reply to sms, wall posts etc.
- Practicing solitude and attainment of peace of mind by spending
some time ALONE in a peaceful room, doing zikr while lying down,
reciting quran, pondering over one's routine, sins, direction, talking to

Allah.
May Allah give us understanding and aqal. May we mend our ways
before its too late. Ameen ya Rabb.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------18. DEPRESSION
Wants advice to prevent depression.
Question:
I am very depressed with my life and feel useless. I have health issues
too. Please advise.
Answer:
All i can advise is, stop over usage of gadgets and internet. Studies
have been conducted by world renowned institutes of psychology and
psychiatry about the various harmful effects of excessive use of
technology and internet. Excessive use of gadgets like mobile phones,
ipad, etc causes stress and depression. They alienate a person from
the real world and are a major cause of people becoming anti social. It
is unhealthy to use internet and gadgets all the time. There are both
health hazards as well as psychological hazards. Please follow the link
below and read properly:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2015196/Too-internetuse-damage-teenagers-brains.html
Spend your time in productive activities. Do walk, exercise, swimming,

etc. Connect with the real world. Prefer outdoor sports to indoor
games. Try to be social. Get out of the virtual world. And you will see
noticable decrease in depression, stress, anxiety etc. Adopt habit of
book reading. And above all remember:
"Verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------19. TEMPERAMENT
He looses his temper at the pathetic situation of this Ummah.
Question:
I am a practicing young Muslim. I have great pain for Muslim ummah
and often it makes me angry and frustrated to see their deplorable and
pathetic condition. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I loose temper.
Sometimes I just wanna run away. What should I do.
(Question shortened and rephrased).
Answer:
Praise be to Allah Who has guided you. My brother let me be
straightforward to you. People who are working and doing something
for the ummah, have no time for whining and getting frustrated. They
are contributing their part for bringing change in their circle. And they
are working tirelessly. It is only when we are doing nothing and do not
quite understand the main aim of dawah (which is to please Allah only)
that we get frustrated, angry and grumpy etc. We shout at others for
not listening to us and for not practicing Islam. Many people
misunderstand the purpose of dawah to be that of converting people.
When they go on with this approach, they only get frustration.
However, those who go with the approach of pleasing Allah, they are at
peace and know they have done their job. They know that results are
in Allah's Hands and He can guide whomsoever He want.
Many a youth who come to deen, think that it their responsibility to

convert the whole world and to bring change within days. They start
doing things out of their scope and resources, and hence get
exhausted and all this results in frustration. This is because they
neglected many pre requisites of dawah such as eman, taqwa,
patience, perseverance, knowledge, etiquettes, cleansing of spiritual
diseases. Remember that the first and most important attribute that a
daee must possess is patience. If there is no sabr, everything falls
apart.
A very very important aspect of dawah, which many a youth ignore, is

knowing about the circle of dawah. If we read the biography of Prophet
sallalaho alayhi wassalam, he was first ordered to do dawah to his
family. He started with his family, and then expanded his circle to
relatives, close friends, neighbors, town people, etc. Today, most youth
do not understand this and think doing dawah to a person sitting
thousand miles away in some other country is fard upon them, while
ignoring their own family. International dawah comes last in dawah
circle whereas youth take it as first in the dawah circle. Allah has not
laid burden on common people, who do not possess enough knowledge
and skills, to do dawah to the public. Allah says:
"Let there arise out of you a group of people inviting to all that is good
(Islam), enjoining good and forbidding bad." (3:104)
Allah did not say, let all of you arise. He said let there a group of
people arise. Muffassireen of Quran interpreted that this means the
scholars and the knowledgable people. Now a scholar does not mean a
person who has done 8 year dars e nizami from madrassah. A scholar
means a knowledgable, qualified person who has mastery over Islamic
aqeedah and ahkamaat.
Now if you study the history, you will know that Prophet sallalaho
alayhi wassalam did not send every sahabi for dawah. He sent only
knowledgable sahaba whereas he utilized others for other tasks. So
you need to first know about your resources and talent. You need to
see how you can benefit those in your circle. If you can do it through
technical skills, then do so. If you can benefit through speaking skills,
then do so. If you can through writing skills, then do so. But make sure
you fulfill the pre requisites of dawah (before doing speech and
writing). You should do something. Most people sit on facebook cursing
others, whining about Muslim ummah, and anger reflects in their
statuses. They should do something productive. A Chinese proverb
goes as: "Better to light one small candle then to curse the darkness."
However, all of this does not mean one should not feel for the ummah.
But what should one do as a result of this feeling is what matters.
Should we whine and get frustrated and angry? Or should we play our
part. We are a drop in the ocean. Let me share a beautiful hadith with
you and you will understand what to do:
Everybody has his time of energy, and every time of energy is
followed by a time of lethargy. But if a person tries to follow a
moderate path, then I have hope for him, but if he becomes one who is
pointed out (in the street), then do not think anything of him.
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2453; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1995).
- What is meant by Everybody has his time of energy is eagerness for

a thing, energy and the desire to do good.
- What is meant by every time of energy is followed by a time of
lethargy is tiredness, weakness and lack of movement.
- But if a person tries to follow a moderate path means that the one
who has energy does his deeds in moderation and avoids going to
extremes when he is feeling energetic and avoids being negligent
when he is feeling lethargic.
-Then I have hope for him means, I have hope that he will be
successful, for he can continue following a middle course, and the most
beloved deeds to Allaah are those which are continuous.
-but if he becomes one who is pointed out (in the street) means, if he
strives hard and goes to extremes in doing good deeds so that he will
become famous for his worship and asceticism, and he becomes
famous and people point him out to one another,
-then do not think anything of him means, do not think that he is one
of the righteous, because he is showing off. He did not say, do not
have hope for him, as an indication that he has already fallen, and he
will not be able to make up for what he has missed out on.
Lesson derived: Moderation. Adopt moderation. And you shall not

exhaust. And know the purpose of dawah i.e to please Allah, and you
shall never get frustrated i.a. Do not take burden on your shoulders
which you cannot bear. Gain knowledge and etiquettes and do what
you can according to your resources.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------20. LOOKS
She is being doubtful abput God because her husband doesn't like her.
Question :
I am suffering from obesity. My husband does not like me because of
this. I hate myself. I cannot decrease my weight. I am being doubtful
about God.
(Question shortened)
Answer :
Asalam o alaikum
Thankyou for sharing your problem. The first step towards solving a
problem.is to identify the causes of the problem. In your case two
major causes can be identified for the depressing behavior.
1- Cycle of low self esteem
2- Cognitive dissonance
Cycle of low self esteem is a very dangerous condition of mind in which

a person keeps going through low self esteem, which leads to low
expectation and this low expectation leads to low performance and
hence the failure. This failure makes self esteem more lower and the
cycle is repeated. The more low self esteem the more low expectation
to solve something, and more low effort and performance, hence
another failure. And this failure again leads to a more lower self
esteem. And the cycle keeps going on.
Low self esteem -----> low expectation -----> low performance ----->
actual failure ------> low self esteem..........
Secondly cognitive dissonance is a condition of mind when a person

knows that something should be done but doesn't do, or vice versa,
hence dissonance forms in mind and the person tries to regress this
dissonance hence adopting defense mechanisms to push back the
dissonance to unconscious.
Now taking your case. Firstly you have a low self esteem and inner
conflicts. You are not at peace with yourself and do not like yourself.
Low self esteem makes you feel you are worthless, life is worthless and
you cannot do any good in life. Hence low expectations. You think you
cannot decrease weight and are set to be doomed forever. Hence you
do not put much effort which leads to failure I.e you don't see any
weight loose. This leads you to more lower self esteem and the cycle is
repeated.
Firstly you need to have high self esteem and you need to solve your
inner conflicts before outer. You need to like yourself as you are. You
have to come to accept the way you are right now. There is a saying :
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Your husband might be disliking you not much because of your obesity
but because of your low self confidence and low self esteem which
leads you to say bad things about yourself and act as if your husband
hates you, infront of him. So you need to solve your inner conflict I.e to
like yourself the way you are right now. Once you have high self
esteem, you can improve.your expectations.
As for cognitive dissonance, you know that you should avoid eating
such and such food and do exercise, but you don't do it, hence you feel
frustrated and at unease and dissonance occurs in your mind because
your actions are not in accordance to your plans. You use defense
mechanisms such as cursing yourself, god, destiny etc and putting the
whole blame on destiny. In this manner you somehow regress this
dissonance and feel better. However this is a dangerous frame of mind
and being sad becomes a routine and a person starts enjoying it like a
drug which is harmful but enjoyable to the addict.
You have now come to know of the causes of your problem. So problem
is half solved I.a. What you should do is change your attitude by
changing the way you think about yourself. Secondly be thankful, much
thankful for many blessings that you enjoy that many others don't.
Thirdly expect good from Allah and from yourself. Your problem can be
solved if you take desired steps. Decrease your cognitive dissonance
which makes you frustrated by taking those desired steps and by
praying to Allah to help you. You can take services of a health specialist
and consultant. Finally, change the way you think about yourself. If you
do this I.a 80% if your problem will be solved.
Jazak Allah khayr
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------21. HOPELESSNESS
Feels hopeless because of sinning.
Question:
I am struggling with my relation with Allah. Everytime i do sin, i peg
back and have to start from the beginning. Its like a cycle. I have now
come to a stage where i have started thinking negatively about Allah
and cant help it, and often become hopeless. Whenever some bad
happens i feel Allah must be punishing me for some sin. In this manner
i cant think positive and cant make dua to Allah. If you ask me in plain
words, i often become insecure from Allah :S. That's a huge statement
but true. Kindly advise.
Answer:
Thankyou for opening up and bringing forward this problem. There is

no doubt this is a very serios problem and can lead one to kufria
thoughts. But its very good that you have asked it as it shows you want
to solve this issue and build great relation with Allah.
Many people dont get what they want in life, and cannot understand
the reason behind the way they are made, or cannot digest whatever
trials they have to face, hence start thinking negatively of Allah and
ultimately turn away from Allah. There are several reasons for such an
attitude and mindset. The biggest reason is ignorance about who is
Allah. Many of us are born Muslims and hence know about Allah what is
told to us by parents, society, media etc. If i were to ask how many of
us have actually read the translation of quran, which is the word of
Allah, and which contains complete guidelines; i am afraid a very few
percentage would turn up as a yes. So this means we do not properly
recognize and know about Allah and His attributes. So building strong
aqeedah is a must. One must try to read more and more about Allah.
As important as it is to know Allah, it is also important to know about

purpose of life, reality of life of this world, and the enemy i-e shaytan.
We must understand our relation with Allah and what He asks of us. We
must understand the concept of reward and punishment. We must
understand the true purpose of life, and the hindrances in achieving
this purpose, the biggest of which is the enemy i-e shaytan.
Know that the biggest trap of shaytan is creating a negative image of

Allah in a person's mind and ultimately making him/her hopeless from
Allah. Allah warned about this in the Quran:
"..and let not the chief deceiver (Satan) deceive you about Allah."
(35:5)
Please know that when a person sins, no matter how big that sin, Allah
invites him/her to repent to Him:
"Say: "O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by

committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah,
verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."
(39:53)
"And those who, when they have committed Fahishah or wronged

themselves with evil, remember Allah and ask forgiveness for their
sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allah." (3:135)
"And if Allah touches you with hurt, there is none who can remove it
but He; and if He intends any good for you, there is none who can repel
His Favour which He causes it to reach whomsoever of His slaves He
will. And He is the Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful." (10:107)
Allah also reminded human beings not to get hopeless from Allah:
"..and never give up hope of Allah's Mercy. Certainly no one despairs of
Allah's Mercy, except the people who disbelieve." (12:87)
Allah also invited human beings o recognize Him and not become
careless of His generosity:
"O man! What has made you careless concerning your Lord, the Most
Generous?" (82:6)
So it is clear that it is shaytan who is putting you in deception about

Allah and who is filling negative thoughts in your mind about the Most
Merciful and The Most Beneficent. He is trying to make you insecure
from 'Almuhayminu' (the giver of security - Allah's name). Imagine
what he will achieve after making you insecure from the giver of
security. Where will you go after you become insecure from Him? What
a huge achievement and intrigue of shaytan the accursed!
You must make it clear that Allah does not punish human beings like
you are thinking. Allah says:
"Why should Allah punish you if you have thanked (Him) and have
believed in Him. And Allah is Ever AllAppreciative (of good), All
Knowing." (4:147)
So my dear brother/sister, shaytan the accursed has succeeded in

deceiving you and making you feel demotivated as if Allah is punishing
you and not doing anything good to you. You should repent sincerely
and thank Allah much for all blessings you have, then see how the
tables turn.
Also do not think that every difficulty happening with you is a

punishment. What kind of thinking is this? Some difficulties happen as
a trial. Allah says:
"And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the
very edge (i.e. in doubt); if good befalls him, he is content therewith;
but if a trial befalls him, he turns back on his face. He loses both this
world and the Hereafter. That is the evident loss." (22:11)
Allah tests His beloved slaves to train them for something, just like
parents sometimes make their children go through some tough tests to
prepare them for something big. How can you think Allah is punishing
you when He says He forgives sins and He does not punish if one
thanks Him. You are in great deception regarding Allah. With regards to
any bad that happens with us, it is mostly because of our own fault and
not because of punishment from Allah. Allah says:
"Truly! Allah wrongs not mankind in aught; but mankind wrong
themselves." (10:44)
So know the difference between a trial and a self inflicted punishment

which comes from one's own choices/mindset. Allah is so merciful that
He even told solution of such self inflicted punishments:
"O you who believe! Seek help in patience and As-Salat (the prayer).
Truly! Allah is with As-Sabirin (the patient ones)." (2:153)
Shaytan turned you away from the mercy of Allah and portrayed Allah
as your enemy (ma'az Allah), whereas He is your Lord and giver of
security and loves you the most. Ponder over this hadis e qudsi:
"Allah says: 'I am just as My slave thinks I am, (i.e. I am able to do for
him what he thinks I can do for him)." (Sahih Bukhari)
Imagine. You expect Allah to be punishing you, so what will you get?
Expect good from Allah. Have good thoughts about Allah. Think most
positive about Allah. And then see what you get and how things
change. Do not give yourself to shaytan the accursed.
Read some very good heart softening books on attributes of Allah. Do

much istaghfaar and duaa. Do it before its too late.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------22. LOOKS and DEPRESSION

She wants to know the solution to lacking peace in her because of
dieting.
Question:
Aoa..i'm in terrible condition now a days and need permanent solution..
I'm overweight (almost 20% of my weight) and i'm on diet for 5 days
on the utmost desire of my mother because i feel as if her only desire
for life is that i should loose 10kg weight..and nothing else she wants
from this world..my friends say i look okay and not at all abnormal..i
also think i'm normal but my mother keeps telling me day and night
that i'm obese and doesnt let me fully enjoy my fav food..and i love my
mom i dont want to hurt her so i'm on diet as she wants..and now
when i'm on diet, i'm having the most terrible time of my life..did you
get that? The most terrible time..i never felt so heartbroken sick
frustrated and disappointed in my whole life not even at the time of

obtaining poor marks in 1st year and then repeating the class not even
at the time of being mocked at by people upon wearing hijab..i said to
Allah why did you put a tendency in me to gain weight there are so
many other people who eat much and are skinny i never showed
disappoint towards Allah before, never ever but this
time..astaghfirullah! I dont want to be like this i dont want to talk to
Allah this way..and its not only the food, its about changing the habit of
eating many times a day, the thought that i cant get slim without
changing my habit is killing me..i love food..i cant pretend to eat less
all my life i'm so much disturbed that u cant even imagine..i cant
pretend to be happy all the time at home and then baba asks whats
the problem and i say nothing because i cant share this at home Also
my relation with Allah is disturbed..i want to settle my state of mind i
want peace i'm lacking peace..what to do to attain peace and settle my
mind ? And what to do to solve the weight problem without being
heartbroken?
Please keep my identity secret
Jazakallhu khair
Answer:
You do not need to get much upset. All of us love food and crave to
have different types of food. But i want you to ponder over the
following ahadis:
Ibn 'Umar narrated that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allh be
upon him) said: The believer eats in one stomach whilst the kaafir
eats in seven. Narrated by al-Bukhri (5081) and Muslim (2060).
He also said: The son of Adam does not fill any vessel worse than his
stomach. It is sufficient for the son of Adam to eat a few mouthfuls, to
keep him going. If he must do that (fill his stomach), then let him fill
one third with food, one third with drink and one third with air.
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1381), Ibn Maajah (3349); classed as saheeh
by al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (2265).
It is not befitting for a momin to eat much food and show such craving
and love for food. Your saying that you get disappointed, complain to
Allah, and are having the worst time of your life, show that you are in a
state of cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance is a psychological
phenomena when the mind is in a state of dissonance. The mind knows
doing something is harmful, but yet the person does it, so the mind is
restless. For eg, some people know smoking is bad, and everyone tells
them its bad, yet they smoke. So dissonance occurs. To counter this
dissonance i.e stress, the mind adopts defense mechanisms. For eg,
the smoker will then build the following excuses to solve this stress:
1- Smoking is not bad but cool.
2- All people smoke, so what if i do too?
3- I will not be able to live without smoking, hence i should do it.
Now the smoker has three excuses, so dissonance is reduced to some

extent and he keeps on smoking. You are also creating defense
mechanisms such as by complaining to Allah, by saying that you
absolutely love food, by getting disappointed on your mom. In this way
a person tries to relieve stress. So this is a natural process. You should
think that fighting against the nafs is not easy. Your nafs absolutely
loves food. Similarly, there are some people whose nafs absolutely
loves zina. There are some whose nafs absolutely loves music. So if
they were to submit to nafs and hated doing battle against it, what
would happen? Different people have different tests. Your test against
the nafs is your craving for food. Imagine if everyone starts
complaining to Allah about the test, what would happen? Excess of
everything is harmful.
Having said that, your mom must not enforce such rigid diet plan on
you, rather endorse you to act on sunnah. Make her read this answer.
Make her and yourself read the following link:
http://www.dawn.com/news/1018123/the-fast-diet-craze
The perfect diet plan is to keep fasts two days and eat normally as you
do for other five days (read the link above). This is given by two
medical doctors who won award for writing the above book. Now, as
we all know, Prophet sallalaho alayhi wassalam used to fast two days a
week, on monday and thursday. So Imagine, diet doctors found out the
perfect diet plan now, whereas prophet s.a.w showed us how to do it
nearly 1500 years ago. Subhan Allah! Moreover, you should follow the
sunnah way of diet. Here is a video you should watch:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?
v=559251860833686&set=vb.100002466318891&type=2&theater
You should also make habit to do some exercise such as walking as it is

very healthy for the body, brain and eman. Yes Eman! You will know it
when you do it. The benfits of exercise are numerous some of which
you can read below:
http://jworldtimes.com/Article/122010_Benefits_Of_Exercise
Also see this:

http://jworldtimes.com/Article/112009_Top_10_Reasons_You're_not_Losi
ng_Weight
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------23. PORN
Wants to know how to get out of the adiction of watching porn.
Question:
I am suffering from the addiction of watching porn. I got to know this
guy on the internet and he used to send me such stuff and also would
demand me to do abominable things on the webcam. I am suffering a

lot because of this and want a permanent solution.
(question wording changed from original one since the original

situation was way too bad)
Answer:
I have no words to describe how sad i am and angry at the same time.
Dumb people say movies and songs dont influence people. Such
people are unaware of the scandals and profanity happening on a
massive scale everywhere around the world. This is just one story. We
dont even have an idea what kind of abominable things youth is doing
these days. David cameron, the UK PM, expressed his fears in guardian
article that his children might be watching pornography and destroy
their lives (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2342807/DavidCamerons-fear-children-internet-porn-I-worry-theyll-online-filthsays.html). According to a report, children as young as 10 are involved
in rape cases
(http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9687121/Children-asyoung-as-10-arrested-for-rape.html). According to a survey, children in
uk post their naked pictures on the internet and get involved in
webcam stripping at the age of 12. And there are so many horrendous
incidents and surveys that can be quoted here.
It is literally destroying lives of people and converting them into sex

perverts. Reason? The influence of media such as hollywood,
bollywood, music industry. Bollywood songs are literally nothing but
audio pornography. Every song is talking about haraam relationship
and glorifying it. Their movies are a clear invitation to zina. Zina is
being glamorized. The foolish amongst youth argue that this is
entertainment and does not affect them, yet the reality cannot be
neglected. Books have been written by social psychologists on the
disastrous effects of media on youth. Young foolish girls get trapped in
the web of 'ishq' by getting influenced from disgusting bollywood porn
songs. The result is horrendous. Guys use them, abuse them, make
them do abominable things on webcam, then spread their videos, show
them to friends, and what not. The guy who does this to you will have
a very very disturbed life and will be severely punished both in this life
and the hereafter, if he doesnt not repent.
I personally know example of a friends brother. He used to come and

tell us that he is a stud and has left no girl in his street and class. He
used to show videos. And now he has grown and is 29. He has
completely lost his mind by taking drugs, become a pervert, useless,
and there are days when he cannot sleep. Whom Allah catches, none
can rescue, but Him. So a warning to all such perverts.
You did huge mistake by initiating conversation with the guy. Allah says
in Quran:
"O you who believe! Follow not the footsteps of Shaitan. And
whosoever follows the footsteps of Shaitan, then, verily he commands
al fahsha (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.)], and Al-Munkar [evil and
wicked deeds]." (24:21)
Allah warns us to not even fall into the foot steps of shaytan. It is then
no wonder that people fall into sin and then regret and torture. I am
amazed, i had been telling a brother this ayah and asked him to stop
replying to females who message him at facebook. He argued and said
he only talks good with them. The result after sometime was quite
similar as that of your situation, and he came to me telling me what he
did. Allah hu akbar! When the truthful messenger of Allah said that
between two na mehrams, the third one is shaytan, then who are we to
argue that no we are safe?
You should completely get cut off from this immoral and pathetic guy.
His promises that he shall marry you are nothing but a bloody lie. Guys
like him should be locked in jail. As for any guy who reads this, i ask
him to fear Allah because the punishment of Allah is severe. One day
you will have daughters too, then Allah might test you too.
You should get completely cut off from the internet for sometime and
do sincere tawba and involve yourself in productive activities. That is
the only solution to avoid pornography and this perverted guy. You
should join some islamic course classes. You should not miss morning
and evening azkaar since they are a protection against ones nafs and
the accursed shaytan. You SHOULD NOT miss them. Take them as you
take food. Do sincere tawba. Allah will surely help you. Cry for your sins
and He shall respond i.A.
In the last, i want to give message to all young girls out there. Know
that your so-called lover, bf, who tells you that he shall marry you, is a
bloody liar. So avoid interacting with na mehrams. Avoid the footsteps
of shaytan. Same goes for young boys. Also avoid following the zina
industry bollywood, hollywood. Mend yourselves before you destroy
yourselves. The choice is yours.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------24. STUDIES
He wants to know the career planning of a good Muslim.
Question:
Assalam o alaikum Brother
My name is ---- and i am 18 years, i ask you to advise me over some
issues i am encountering as you yourself might have tackled them
out .
1.Time management and getting an absolute concentration when
studying ( I can hardly sit for 2 hrs consecutively )
2.How to prepare for University admission tests . Will you recommend
academy for it ? How you did that for yourself ?
Akhamdulillah i have scored 934 marks in Metric and 424 in F.S.c (Part
1)
Physics and Maths are my Favorite subjects and Chemistry is
hmmm ...ahh Not likely my good hold .
I also want to tell you that my plans for opting higher studies is not
only for getting a good job but also to be an example among the
people that ISLAM is compatible with every aspect of life and
modernization ; its not a barrier on the way to advancement . I also
pray that May ALLAH give me taufeeq to shorten the barrier between
the upcoming modern youth(Holding Secularistic and athiestic views
etc) and the young scholars and daaee's of today !
I would also make mention of that you are one of the person (though
we dont know each other properly) whose advice i can not reject and
whose words and moral teachings i always try to follow . May ALLAH
increase you in khair and give you more taufeeq ! Jazakumullahu
khairan !
Answer:
1- First of all, my advice to all such youngsters going through this age
is to make their intention like yours. i-e to serve Islam through
whatever beneficial knowledge you get. For ive witnessed that if the
intention is to do it for Islam and the focus is Allah's raza in the
Hereafter, then all affairs become easy and whatever u do constitutes
barakah. As Prophet (pbuh) said:
"Verily, whoever takes the Hereafter as is his concern, Allah makes his
richness in his heart and makes his affairs easy and this worldly life will
come to him forced. And whoever has this worldly life as his concern,
Allah makes his poverty between his eyes and makes his affair difficult
and he will not gain from this worldly life but only what is destined for
him." (Ibn Majah. Declared as Sahih by Al Albani)
2- Secondly, avoid blind following of friends and peers. Do not go

where ur friends going, nor do what they doing. First see through which
field you can benefit Islam the most. Then just do an assessment of
yourself and see your interests. Then discuss with experienced and
mature people (friends and peers do not come in experienced and
mature people).
3- If you ask me, i do not advise to do engineering. Because engineers,

though enjoy a good social status in our society and people are like
'wowwww an engineer', but in reality engineer is a white collar slave.
The job nature of an engineer is too demanding and literally sucks the
life blood outta you (i myself an engineer). I would advise any young
brother to be a doctor, or go to teaching side, or social sciences (all
leadership positions are held by social scientists), or administrative
positions in public sector by doing css, pms etc.
4- Okay if you wanna do engineering, then atleast do masters in it and

then go to teaching side.
5- Time management and concentration:

Its a great sign that you're thinking abt it at such a time and taking it
seriously. Well brother, all my life ive been a very non serious student.
But then i learned my lessons. I was a guy who used to run from books.
But then i made habit to read books for many hours. How to do it?
(i) Try to be away from virtual world esp fb as much as u can. Only use
when very necessary. Relax urself with nature and exercise (exercise
helps a lot. Check this out:
http://jworldtimes.com/Article/122010_Benefits_Of_Exercise). When you
cut down ur interaction with virtual world, you'll be amazed to see how
much time u get.
(ii) When you study, kill all distractions. The best place to study is
masjid. Trust me. Try it. Then library. Then a quiet room where no
internet, pc etc. Switch off cell phone as well.
(iii) Its very important that what u read, u build interest in it. So read it
with the intention that all good knowledge is from Allah Almighty and u
must learn this knowledge and use it for good.
(iv) Make a time table. And try to follow it as much as u can. Organize
urself. Keep your room clean and your cupboard organized.
(v) Give challenges to yourself. Example : Today i will finish 100 pages
of this book on every condition! Automatically you will see that you
gain concentration bcz of this challenge.
(vi) I do not advise continuous reading. 2 hr max is good, then take a

break of 15-30 min. Do something refreshing. Then again 2 hrs. And go
on as much as u can.
6 - How to prepare entry tests.

(i) Yes academy is fine because by going to academy u come to realise
the competition when u see other students and this motivates u. Also
academies keep taking mock tests (practice tests) so one becomes
confident.
(ii) But i do not suggest academy for too long. Just learn the basics
from academy and tats enough. Need not spend too much time in
academies.
7- Some useful links:

http://jworldtimes.com/.../82009_8_Ways_to_Keep_Your_Mind...
http://jworldtimes.com/.../112010_Motivate_Yourself_5...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------25. NAFS CONTROL

He wants to know the solution of addiction of songs etc.
Question:
How can I control my nafs from things like listening to songs ..
watching TV dramas... I know that they are no use ... I delete them
from my gadgets but then I re-load the songs and stuff and listen to
them frequently... I want permanent freedom from this menace..theres
a war goin on inside me and I want the good forces to win ...But they
get beaten up each time.
Answer:
First of all, let me congratulate you that you have been given this much
understanding and guidance from Allah the Most Merciful that you at
least know what is right and wrong, and you want to avoid the wrong.
Alhamdulilah. You should thank Allah much for having given you this
much understanding. Many a people live all their lives not knowing
whats wrong and they feel pride in doing sins. Sins dont appear sins to
them. Messenger of Allah sallalaho alayhi wassalam said:
"Righteousness is good character, and sin is that which wavers in your
heart and which you do not want people to know about." (Sahih
Muslim)
What if the heart becomes dead and no sin appears as sin? We should
seek refuge with Allah from such a condition. I know many people who
commit sins and feel pride at them, and if this is not enough, they
defend these sins and advocate for them. How unfortunate. You too will
see such people all around you, especially the celebrities. So my
brother/sister, be happy and thank Allah much.
Now your main problem is not being able to achieve istiqamah

(steadfastness). Ponder over the following hadis:
On the authority of Abu 'Amr radiyallahu anhu, who said:
I said: "O Messenger of Allah, tell me something about Islam which I
could not ask anyone about save you." He answered: "Say: 'I believe in
Allah', and then stand firm and steadfast." [Sahih Muslim]
Prophet pbuh endorsed his sahaba to stand firm and steadfast. He also
taught them ways to be steadfast. Ponder over the following hadis:
The Prophet (SAW) said; Allah the exalted said, I have divided the
prayer (Surah Al-Fatihah) into two halves between Me and My servant.
A half of it is for Me and a half for My servant, and My servant shall
acquire what he asked for.
If he says, All praise and thanks be to Allah, the Lord of existence,'
Allah says, My servant has praised Me.
When the servant says, The Most Gracious, the Most Merciful. Allah
says, My servant has glorified Me.
When he says, Master of the Day of Judgment. Allah says, My servant
has glorified Me.
When he says, You (alone) we worship, and You (alone) we ask for
help. Allah says, This is between Me and My servant, and My servant
shall acquire what he sought.
When he says, Guide us to the straight path. The way of those on
whom You have granted Your grace, not (the way) of those who earned
Your anger, nor of those who went astray. Allah says, This is for My
servant, and My servant shall acquire what he asked for.
(Sahih Muslim and Sunan An-Nisai)
If you pray five times farz prayer, then you recite surah fatiha 17 times.
And if you pray all voluntary prayers, then you recite it for 40 times.
When you ask Allah 'ihdina as sirat al mustaqeem' (O Allah guide me to
the straight path), sincerely, believing that Allah is hearing and
responding to you (as the hadis says), and you say it to Allah atleast 17
or if you wish, 40 times a day, why would you not find steadfastness?
What does a GPS does when one loses way? It recalculates and shows
one the right path again. So this is what sincere recitation of surah
fatiha does for muslims. This is why sahaba were the most steadfast of
people. So focus on your prayer and pray it by giving it all its rights.
Make sure you understand the translation well. Allah says:
"Verily, As-Salat (the prayer) prevents from Al-Fahsha' (i.e. great sins of
every kind) and Al-Munkar (evil deeds)." (29:45)
So if one offers prayer properly, he/she will certainly achieve

steadfastness i.A.
Secondly, busy yourself with productive activities. Replace dramas with
useful documentaries like planet earth, space documentaries, how its
made, free masons, etc. Replace songs with beautiful tilawat. Spend
time reading good and useful books. Install useful apps like natgeo
today, howstuff works, and visit them daily and read. Your interest will
build gradually insha Allah. Also keep yourself busy with good
company. Spend quality time with parents, siblings, try to start some
class at home in which you gather all family members and read some
ahadis from some book like riyad us saliheen.
In the end, i can keep on giving you lots of advices and suggest you
alternatives, but if the will is not there to take action, then nothing can
be done. Just show some will and then see the promise of Allah:
"As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide
them to Our Paths. And verily, Allah is with the Muhsinun (good
doers)." (29:69)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------26. BASIC ISLAM

He wants to know what is traditional and modern way to follow Islam.
Question:
What is traditional way to follow Islam and modern way to follow Islam?
Answer:
There is only one way to follow islam. Allah tells about it in the Glorious
Quran:
"Say, "Indeed, my prayer, my rites of sacrifice, my living and my dying

are all for Allah , Lord of the worlds." (6:162)
"O you who believe! Enter completely (and perfectly) in Islam (by
obeying all the rules and regulations of the Islamic religion) and follow
not the footsteps of Shaitan. Verily! He is to you a plain enemy."
(2:208)
"Verily in the messenger of Allah ye have a good example for him who
looketh unto Allah and the Last Day, and remembereth Allah much."
(33:21)
Following Islam is all about sincerity. A person should be sincere in his

heart and do everything for Allah's sake and NONE other. Secondly, a
person should make sure he/she must follow the sunnah of Allah's
messenger in doing everything. This is the right method to follow
Islam.
As for the terms traditional and modern, these are man made terms.
Those who use modern technology to spread Islam, i.e through
projector, presentations, softwares, social media, videos etc, and
deliver lecture in good english accent, exhibit expressive body
language, are considered to be presenting and following Islam in a
modern manner; and those who speak urdu, follow a traditional style of
body language, speech, methodology, are called to be following
traditional method. It is just the method and not the spirit. Following
something involves spirit, while doing something involves method. You
asked about following so there is only one way i.e do everything with
sincerity and for His sake, and entering into islam fully, as mentioned
in the above verses.
Now one thing is worth mentioning here. In their zeal to present Islam
in a modern way, some people have gone off the track. Material things
become more important to them than sunnah. For example, they will
focus more on material things like cool attire, english accent, glamour,
whereas neglecting or not being aware of spiritual things such as
barakah and effect, which is only put by Allah if one takes care of
sunnah. So, sincerity, trust in Allah and following the sunnah. is
absolutely vital in doing anything for Islam.
Another thing worthwhile to be mentioned is there is this new class of

youth these days, who are coming to islam by seeing glamour rather
than the actual tenets of Islam. They become over excited and want to
become famous like the cool daees. In effort of doing so, they over
exhaust themselves and hence find islam difficult. This is because they
could not build eman and could not understand the actual spirit of
Islam. Prophet of Allah s.a.w brought sahaba to Islam through the
beautiful teachings of Islam which provided them a wonderful lifestyle
and tranquility. So whats important is to understand the spirit, which is:
- My living, dying, sacrifice, acts of goodness are all for Allah.
- Entering into Islam completely, i.e by following all of its
commandments and not picking those which you like and leaving those
which you dont.
- Following the sunnah of messenger of Allah in doing everything.
Baaki one can choose different methods to present Islam, as long as

they dont go against the shariah or dont nullify the spirit of Islam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------27. BASIC ISLAM

She wants to know if God exists then why do people suffer.
Question:
My friend often asks me this question. Please guide.
If God exists and is so merciful, why is their so much suffering in the
world?
Answer:
The basic answer to this is given by Allah Almighty Himself in Quran:
"Indeed, Allah does not wrong the people at all, but it is the people
who are wronging themselves." (10:44)
This is the statement made by the King of the Universe, the Omniscient
and Omnipotent. It is such a comprehensive statement which sums it

all up wonderfully.
In the light of the above verse of Surah Yunus, let us analyze some of
the reasons in our age, yielded by man's own hands, for the suffering
of humanity.
1- Global warming.
Global warming is a phenomena, caused by greenhouse effect, by
which average global temperature of the earth's atmosphere gradually
increases.
The implications of global warming are disastrous. With an increase in
temperature glaciers worldwide are melting faster than the time taken
for new ice layers to form, sea water is getting hotter and expanding
causing sea levels to rise, rivers overflow due to melting glaciers
causing floods, forest fires are on the rise, severe weather changes are
occurring, and innumerable undesired effects are taking place due to
global warming. Moreover, when glaciers melt, water resources deplete
(since sea water is not drinkable, all water humanity uses comes from
the glaciers through rivers etc).
The recent example is that of the hurricane Sandy in New york. The
environmental scientists and other intellectuals declared global
warming to be the reason for that. The point to note here is, Allah
Almighty created the earth and the universe with a perfect balance of
natural processes. When this balance is disturbed by the activities of
human beings, such as burning fossil fuels, deforestation, industrial
activities, etc, the greenhouse gases rise into atmosphere and cause
global warming. Recently, the 18th annual Doha climate change
conference was held in Doha, which was attended by more than 190
countries. The environmental intellectuals discussed the harmful
effects of global warming and solutions to curb it. What was noticeable
there was the statement of US president Barack Obama: "if the
message is somehow were going to ignore jobs and growth simply to
address climate change, I dont think anybodys going to go for that. I
wont go for that,

"The main stumbling block in forging a consensus in the climate
negotiations", writes Ayyaz kayani - a public health specialist, "has
been the self-centered stance of the US delegations to these
conferences. The US did not sign the Kyoto Protocol; and even one of
our two major political parties denies the science behind climate
change."
The US climate change negotiator Jonathan Pershing has said it. There
is no chance of the USA signing up to a climate deal that requires the
country to make substantial cuts in its emissions.
To sum it all up, a fair minded person should ask himself the following
questions:
Does Allah cause tsunamis, hurricanes, floods etc (yes although they
happen by His permission) or are such havocs the outcome of human
activities?
Is Allah causing deforestation (plants and trees absorb carbon dioxide
and hence provide a natural solution to curb global warming) or is it
the humanity?
So who is causing the humanity to suffer?
2- Unjust distribution of resources.

Allah The Most Merciful has accorded the earth with plentiful resources
to feed every single creature. Birds, animals, insects, human beings
etc. Still many a humanity is suffering. Is it Allah? Or is it the despotic
regimes consuming all resources for themselves and keeping them
away from others? According to an old survey, America only represents
6% of world's population, yet they consume 35% of the world's
resources. According to another survey, 50% population of UK is
overweight, i.e they have more than enough to eat. Compare this with
the situation in poor countries of Asia and Africa. Do millions of africans
die because Allah kills them or they die because of apathy from
humanity and unequal distribution and selfishness of their own leaders
who grow cash crops instead of food crops in their countries (cash
crops like tobacco bring money from rich countries but are not food
resources).
3- Five major fatal diseases because of which humanity dies.

1. Heart attack. 2. Cancer. 3- Aids. 4. Bronchitis. 5. Sugar
All of them caused mainly by pollution, smoking, alcohal, illegal sexual
intercourse, obesity. Is Allah killing humanity? Did Allah tell humanity to
smoke? To drink? To indulge in promiscuity? To pollute the lands and
seas? To eat unhealthy and hazardous food?
How many a people lose their loved ones because of these, and later
become faithless because they say God took my beloveds.
(For a detailed study of pollution and its effects, please search internet
or read any book on pollution, its causes and harmful effects.)
4- Nuclear and biological weapons.

Created by Allah or humanity? Wars fought by Allah or humanity?
There are hundreds of adverse effects of war. Social, psychological,
economical. If i start writing and explaining im afraid it might consume
all the pages of this magazine. Generations have to suffer biologically,
mentally, physically, socially because of war. Albert Einstein rightly
said:
"Had i known that my equation E= mc2 will be used for making atomic
bombs and kill large number of people of japan, i would never have
done that research or published my findings."
According to a survey 65% of all the scientific research being done

currently is directly or indirectly meant for developing weapons.
Weapons are not just guns, missiles, drones, tanks, etc, but in this
scientific age, there are biological and cyber weapons as well which
cause suffering to humanity.
Some would argue here, 'alrite we accept humanity created all

sufferings. So then why doesn't Allah save people?'
This argument is so foolish and it destroys the reason of purpose of
creation of universe and of human beings. Allah says:
"[He] who created death and life to test you [as to] which of you is best
in deed - and He is the Exalted in Might, the Forgiving." (67:2)
The ultimate fact and reality is, man is himself the cause of his own
sufferings. In every age he strayed away from the path and teachings
of Allah and followed his whims and desires. The above reasons are
just a few, there are many other reasons to prove that all suffering is
brought upon humanity by their own hands. I just discussed scientific
and political reasons, but if a just and fair minded person makes a little
effort to notice the daily little choices he makes to direct his actions, he
will surely accept the fact mentioned in the ayah of Surah Yunus.
Inspite of all this, yet Allah is the most Merciful, yet He forgives, yet He
feeds everyone. Glory be to Allah, The Most Just.
"Has the time not come for those who have believed that their hearts
should become humbly submissive at the remembrance of Allah and
what has come down of the truth? And let them not be like those who
were given the Scripture before, and a long period passed over them,
so their hearts hardened; and many of them are defiantly disobedient."
(57:16)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------28. DAWAH TACTICS

Wants to know whether one should utilize humour as a Dawah tactic.
Question:
May Allah give you good, the questioner says: Is it from the means of
Dawah to utilize comedy and making people laugh in order to capture
their hearts towards the religion? What is the correct method? May
Allah reward you with good.
Answer:
Shaykh Saalih Fawzan: Dawah is not by way of jokes, clowning and

humor. Dawah is by the Book and the Sunnah and preaching, it is not
by humor or making the people laugh or things like this. This is not
from kindness. Perhaps someone will say this is from kindness.
Kindness is not joking that leads to comedy. This is from the things that
trivialize the status of the caller. If they see him jesting, clowning and
so forth, he will diminish in their view. He will become like a comedian,
he will not be a caller to Allah. He will become like an actor. These
things trivialize the significance of the call and the status of the caller.
The person should give Dawah in a serious manner, on the way of the
Book and the Sunnah. And it does not appear in the Book and the
Sunnah that comedy and joking is from Dawah to Allah the Exalted.
Allah said to His Prophet:
Invite (all) to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and
argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious. (Soorah An Nahl
16:125)
With wisdom, means with knowledge; and putting the affairs in their proper
places. You speak to the ignorant person with that which he will understand; you
speak to the learned person with that which he will understand. You address the
leader in a manner which is befitting. Every person is address in a manner which
is suited for them. This is from wisdom. Also wisdom is knowledge, thus do not
give Dawah while you are ignorant. And beautiful preaching; and argue with them
in ways that are best and most gracious. Comedy is not included in this. Joking
has not come as a means of Dawah. This trivializes the significance of the
Dawah and this diminishes the status of the caller; and he will become cheap in
the eyes of the people, because he is shameless, and distasteful. Thus we do
not invent things in the Dawah that are not from its methodology.
[Translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee]
Via Lives of the Salaf
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------29. DIMINISHING FAITH

She wants to know how can she keep herself from swaying faith now and then.
Question:
Asalm O Alaikum !
I've a question,kindly guide me.. Actually I always try to be a good muslim &for
that I always pray 5 times aday &Alhumdullilah I've started veil too.. sometimes
even I offer Tahajut too.. I left music but I've a problem that after 15-20 days I feel
that I'm loosing the essence of my faith like I kept on praying &all that but not
with that jazba &this remains for 3-4 days &after few days again I come back to
my previousl state but this 3-4 days duration really pintch me,I feel really bad for
this .. I never understand why this happens to me ??What should I do ?How can
I keep my self on a track through out the life? Kindly help me out
Answer:
I am going to share a hadith and advice of Rasul Allah s.a.w with you, ponder
over it and apply it in your life.
Everybody has his time of energy, and every time of energy is

followed by a time of lethargy. But if a person tries to follow a
moderate path, then I have hope for him, but if he becomes one who is
pointed out (in the street), then do not think anything of him.
(Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2453; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in
Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1995).
"What is meant by Everybody has his time of energy is eagerness for

a thing, energy and the desire to do good.
What is meant by every time of energy is followed by a time of
lethargy is tiredness, weakness and lack of movement.
But if a person tries to follow a moderate path means that the one
who has energy does his deeds in moderation and avoids going to
extremes when he is feeling energetic and avoids being negligent
when he is feeling lethargic.
Then I have hope for him means, I have hope that he will be
successful, for he can continue following a middle course, and the most
beloved deeds to Allaah are those which are continuous.
but if he becomes one who is pointed out (in the street) means, if he
strives hard and goes to extremes in doing good deeds so that he will
become famous for his worship and asceticism, and he becomes
famous and people point him out to one another,
then do not think anything of him means, do not think that he is one
of the righteous, because he is showing off. He did not say, do not
have hope for him, as an indication that he has already fallen, and he
will not be able to make up for what he has missed out on." (Hadith
explanation by Shaykh salih al munajjid)
So what is learnt from this hadis?

1- Eman keeps increasing and decreasing. Had it been constant we
would be angels.
2- People, especially youngsters, get so excited after coming to islam
and start taking such responsibilities on their shoulders which they
cannot bear, for eg, trying to become a daee like dr.zakir etc from day
one, without knowledge and strong faith, hence result is that they
become exhausted when trials come. Therefore one should always
follow a moderate path. They should do such good deeds which they
can do easily constantly.
So, take the prophet's advice. Adopt moderation in your life. Do not
become over excited and start doing BIG things when your eman is
good, and do not stop offering faraiz when your eman is down.
Secondly, keep yourself busy with gaining knowledge of deen. If you
dont know about islam and Allah, and the essence behind worship,
soon you will get bored from whatever you doing because they will
merely be body exercises. So gain knowledge. Read about aqeedah.
Keep strong connection with quran. Read some good tafseer. Do read
seerah. Also read the great hadis book riyad us saliheen. Point is, keep
yourself attached with seeking knowledge, and you will find your eman
revived i.A. Keep reading something. Make book reading your habit.
Busy yourself in good activities. If you will sit alone doing nothing, then
definitely eman will decrease as such a person is a piece of cake for
shaytan. Also recite azkaar of morning and evening. Buy the book hisn
ul muslim. Or download from google. Its available there and recite
azkaar of morning and evening from it. The Prophet pbuh said:
"Iman increases and diminishes." He was then asked: "How does it
increase and diminish?" He replied: "If we hold Allah in remembrance,
praise Him, and glorify Him, our Iman increases. But, if we hold Allah
little in remembrance, our Iman diminishes."
(Related on the authority of Hammad Ibn Salamah. Sahih hadees.)
For more details, see the following links:
http://www.islam-qa.com/en/14041
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------30. DEPRESSION
He wants the solution to his depression and atheistic thoughts because
of constant failure.
Questioner:
AOA,i need your advice...i am very depressed and dishearted right
now...i got rejection from several companies and my research paper
got rejected...also one university rejected my admission....I am not
able to concentrate on study. but above all the most terrible thing that
is happeing is that my faith has started to shaken(May Allah forgive
me)...i am not able to concentrate on prayers as well...The result is
more depression..I mean my GPA is above 3 and my parents spent soo
much on my education.....any advice on how to increase my

concentration on prayers and the develish thoughts on atheism should
get controlled???.
what is the solution???
JazakAllah khair.
Answer:
Ur asking me this question and showing concern is a proof that faith is
in ur heart and insha Allah u will not let it go from ur heart no matter
how much shaytan tries to tease u. Because only a rich man shows
concern that he might be robbed. A poor man who has nothing to be
robbed, will never show concern. Hope u understand.
Trials and tests are a part of life and they keep coming every now and
then. U shud understand this. If every person starts reacting in this
manner, then 100% of the world will be atheist. Imagine what is
happening in syria. Families losing their father, mother, brother, sister,
husband, wife, son, daughter. Women getting raped infront of their
family's eyes. Imagine what is happening in afghanistan and palestine.
People getting snatched of their homes and property. Imagine what
happened with aafiya siddiqi. All these people should be atheist by
now. Leave current situation, think about the sahaba of prophets. How
they were tried. Allah said about them:
"Or think you that you will enter Paradise without such (trials) as came
to those who passed away before you? They were afflicted with severe
poverty and ailments and were so shaken that even the Messenger and
those who believed along with him said, "When (will come) the Help of
Allah?" Yes! Certainly, the Help of Allah is near!" (2:214)
Compare urself with all the above. What has Allah tested u with? Ur
father got killed? Ur family got killed? Or someone got raped? Or you
got kicked out and snatched of your home? Or you have leprosy, aids,
tuberculosis, cancer?
Have faith in Allah brother. Do istaghfar much. Prophet pbuh said

whoever does istaghfar much, Allah will make a way out for him from
every difficulty. Keep doing wird of 'Astaghfirullaha wa atuubu ilayhi'.
Also keep offering farz prayer. Do not leave them. Just pray however u
can. Struggle karke. Also keep doing zikr of 'La haula wala quwwata illa
billah.' Prophet pbuh advised to do it to fight sorrow.
As for rizq, then dont worry. Allah has written it for u and it shall come
when it is time. Do not worry. Allah does not deny even a kafir the
reward of hard work in dunya. So how can He deny a muslim? Infact
thank Allah much. He has given you so much to thank for. I.A things
will be better.
And lastly, ponder over this ayah much.

"And among mankind is he who worships Allah as it were, upon the
very edge; if good befalls him, he is content therewith; but if a trial
befalls him, he turns back on his face. He loses both this world and the
Hereafter. That is the evident loss." (22:11)

She wants to know about her sons that how should they avoid
interaction with their female cousins.
Question:
I want to ask that I am a mother of three teenage sons,I don't like
mingling of girls n boys even if they r first cousin n even if boys r 1 or 2
yrs younger than their female cousins but my husband n his family
think this as narrow mindedness I am very disturbed n worried about
my sons,I teach them good but when they go to their cousins
home,they don't know how to avoid them. pl give me some solution.
Answer:
Thankyou for trusting us and asking this question.
I totally understand your problem and what you must be going

through. May Allah ease all matters for you and reward you for the
good you are trying to do.
Allah Almighty said in the Quran:

"And We have made some of you [people] as trial for others - will you
have patience? And ever is your Lord, Seeing." (25:20)
So Allah has made some of us as trials to others. Allah also said:

"And know that your properties and your children are but a trial and
that Allah has with Him a great reward." (8:28)
It is clear that we may be tried through our spouse, children, wealth

etc. It appears that the thinking and mindset of you and your husband
does not match. In this case, the spouse has to adopt a lot of hikmah
and good methodology. In your case, your husband is a trial for you, so
you must deal with patience, hikmah and proper strategy, because this
is a delicate relation. Men crave for respect, especially from their
spouse. So make sure you dont misbehave while arguing. Secondly, we
must realize that such things are not easily absorbed by people,
especially when shayateen are appearing on media trying to corrupt
people's minds and teach them 'enlightened moderation'. A great
campaign is being run against islam and its principles by the fascist
liberals hidden behind the garb of enlightenment. So its not easy to
convince someone about prohibition of intermingling etc. Therefore, try
to convey in an ahsan manner. Give drops, rather than throwing a
barrel of water.
Try to tell your husband the harms of intermingling. Sometimes its very
difficult to convince one's family so try to get this conveyed through
some other person, whom you believe they would respect and listen.
Try to give him literature regarding it or make him hear views of
learned daees like dr.zakir naek etc.
Here are some practical ways what your sons can do:
1- They should avoid being much frank with female czns. They should
just reply to salam and other formal questions and thats it. They should
maintain distance and an honorable tone. This is better for them. In
acting on ahkamaat of Islam is only advantage of the human beings.
2- They must straightforwardly and respectfully tell their female czns
that we respect you, but we have to obey on Islam. This is best for us.
Rule is for everyone. Its not that we consider you bad or are insecure
from you, its just that rule must be followed. Someone cannot say that
i never had an accident therefore i will not stop at red traffic signal.
3- They should try to avoid sitting in female czns company.
Keep telling your sons that you dont like their intermingling because
our religion is best and has given best way of life to protect everyone's
honor. Do not push them too much. Just keep telling them gently that
you dont like it. Also fill the worth of Islam in their hearts. If they do not
pray then encourage them to pray. Encourage them to listen to good
speakers and scholars. When the worth of Islam will be filled in their
heart, they will themselves start hating intermingling. Ibn qayyim, the
great scholar and intellectual said, a sound heart cannot be happy in
intermingling of sexes. So may your sons get a sound heart. Ameen
They should try to act on islamic ahkamaat as much as they can. Allah
will make it easy and help them i.A
Please also contact some top and experienced daaiyaas like Madam
farhat hashmi, madam nighat hashmi, madam kanwal qaiser etc and
try to discuss this matter with them on phone too. They can advise
much better i.A.
And do not be much tensed. As i quoted, we all have our trials. Sabr is
sometimes the key to all solutions. Some people spend life doing sabr
until the time comes and they see one glimpse of paradise and say out
of excitement: 'My Lord. I have never had any gham in life!'
Jzk khayr.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------32. INTERACTION WITH OPPOSITE GENDER & PURPOSE OF LIFE

She wants to know how much is a female allowed to interact with the
opposite gender and she wants to know that why should we not pray
all day long.
Question:
Assalamu aleikum,
Something disturbing me alot. Is a female allowed to seek education
and work as a doctor within the boundaries of haya? Or does that make
her a sinner?
Are females totally forbidden to talk to males? Even if its just info
sharing etc with collegues? Did not the umma hatul muminin talk to
men within hudud?
I know the answers to all these questions. I just need verification.
Shaytan creating alot of doubts.
Another one. If our purpose in the world is the hereafter why do even
bother with life here? Why not just sit around andpray all.day or
something like that.
Help.
Jazakallah
Answer:
Female is allowed to seek knowledge within the bounds of shariah.

Islam believes in freedom but not madar peedar azad freedom like the
west where co education has brought destructive consequences. Books
have been written on such consequences by western writers. There are
separate schools and colleges for males and females. Oxford university
is not co education, so west is understanding and coming closer to
Islam.
Doctor is a good profession for females. There is nothing wrong in

becoming a doctor. And as u yourself said, within the boundaries of
haya, so i guess u already know the limits following which a woman
can work. For more details see these links:
http://islamqa.info/en/ref/286
With regards to communicating with na mehrams, certain guidelines

must be followed, which were already discussed in another question.
Please read the following links:
As for the third part of your question, life of this world is a test and one
must spend it according to guidelines provided by Islam, which are
best for humanity. Asceticism is forbidden in islam. Islam is a way of
life. Prophet pbuh married, did business, had friends, so his life is ideal.
He did not sit in mosque all the time praying, rather he taught that
every act done to please Allah and in accordance with Islam, even
sexual intercourse with one's wife, is ibadat. One must strive for
Hereafter in such a manner that he/she does everything in world to
strengthen his record of good deeds. And that can only be done if we
do business, job, marry, love people, help people, enjoy life in
accordance with the teachings of islam. You need to read a book by the
name: 'Islam: Its meaning and message' by professor khurshid ahmad.

This books answers your question in detail and clears everything. You
must read this book. Easily available in market esp urdu bazar. You
must do some hardwork yourself by reading, if you are sincere.
Jzk khayr
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------33. LOOKS
Disappointed by looks because rejected by many families.
Question:
Ive been rejected by many families. Many come to see me and bcz of
nt liking my looks reject me. Im going through severe depression. It
comes as a gr8 torture to feel rejected and i feel discouraged. I have
started believing i have many flaws. What should i do.
Answer:
This is a common thing happening with females of our society. Most
females have to go through such a embarrassing situation. Its because
of the false norms of our society. Woman is treated as a product and
people come to see her as a product. Moreover, with the rise of media,
bollywood, hollywood, fashion shows etc, definition of beauty has
drastically changed and people consider only a specific kind of looks to
be approved. How sad. What great zulm the filthy greedy capitalists
have done to this world. People are suffering at the hands of these few
dastards who are unfortunately controlling everything.
You do not need to feel discouraged. Sadness is natural. Its totally

understandable. Such things hurt a lot. There is fault of everyone in
this. The family who come to see, the girl's family and the third party
involved. Firstly, the third party involved must make sure that he/she
finds such a proposal for the guy's family which they are looking for,
and should make them know of everything beforehand (showing
picture is a good strategy), secondly the boy's family must make sure
whether to approach and meet the girl or stop at this very moment,
and if meet, then make sure to not embarrass the other family and the
girl in a blunt manner. Thirdly, the girl's parents must not act like
selling their beloved daughter, but act in a respectable manner and do
research about the boy's family and find out about their priorities and
nature, whether extremely materialists or modest. They should then
decide the meet the family and show them their daughter.
There are so many other things and a complete essay can be written
on it. The main point that this question highlights is the materialistic
mindset and changing trend of our society while looking for potential
life partners of their sons. There was a time when virtues like modesty,
manners, saleeqa, religious commitment had a value. Now what
matters is only looks, and that too of a very high standard, and khallas.
What can be done with regards to such a mindset? It will require a
whole generation to replace this generation and change this mindset
and trend. This is a very lengthy process. What we can do is sabr and
change this trend by spreading awareness about this issue and setting
examples ourselves. Do not be discouraged. People are strange these
days. Their strange behavior means they have a problem, and not you.
So why should you be discouraged? Just be obedient to Allah and
maintain whatever you have, Allah will grant you good insha Allah.
Lastly, its actually good that you dont get selected by such a people,
because those whose criteria starts and ends at materialism, are not
even worth spending a day with. So how about spending life? There are
still good people in this world who prefer religious commitment and
other virtues more than looks. Pray to Allah that you find such people.
And Allah will surely answer your prayers. Know that life of woman in
our society is not easy. She must be prepared for such things.
Sometimes its just part of the process. Nothing to feel embarrassed
about, or feel rejected. Allah will provide you the best insha Allah.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------34. SALAH
Wants to know what should be done in offices at the time of Salah.

Question:
Assalamu Alaykum! I have a question in my mind for several months...
What to do at "Salaat" time in the institutes / offices where it is not
allowed to offer Salaat? We can't leave it in any case bcz its fardh.
Answer:
Walekum us salam.
Salaat is fard and should be on top priority of every muslim. If one does
not offer salah then such a life has no worth because Allah said:
"And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me."
(51:56)
Though, worship has a broad meaning which includes every action that
a person does in accordance which the way of life told by Allah, but
prayer is the pillar of this way of life and without prayer the whole
building collapses, just like without pillars the building wont stand.
Therefore, every wise muslim puts offering prayer on top priority and
guards it like he/she would guard the most precious thing. Many ayahs
can be found in Quran about the importance of guarding prayers.
Prayer has many benefits, some of which we know and many we dont.
So one must keep reading the essence, importance, benefits and
proper way of offering prayer.
Its good to know your caring for salah and asking this question shows
you are serious about it. May Allah reward you for that and make you
steadfast in His worship, for nothing in this world is better than that. As
far as your question is concerned, it has two facets:
1- Institutes and offices, where there is no proper place to offer salah
and so what should be done?
2- Institutes and offices which dont permit its students and employees
to offer salah at the job/class timings.
If you meant the first one, you can do the following:

Know that all of earth is pure and made a praying place (except
graveyard). You can offer prayer in your office at carpet, or any other
cloth and even on floor if its clean. Similarly you can offer anywhere in
your institute. Masjid is not compulsory, neither is a neat and fancy
carpet, nor some empty room. You can pray anywhere, just make sure
there are no human or animal paintings around. Be in wudu all the
time. This way you wont have to renew wudu and hence can offer
prayer easily.
If your question was about the second situation, then im shocked that
such institutes and offices exist in pakistan. I had worked in an
AMERICAN multinational company and even they allowed muslims to
pray on their respective times. It was not a small company but it
comes in top 5 construction companies of world. Strange that there
exists such offices and institutes in pakistan where one is not allowed
to pray. If you're not from pakistan and in some other country, then this
again is strange as i gave you my example. Having said that, what you
can do is following:
1- Combine prayers if you fear you wont be able to offer them at time.
You can combine zuhr with asar at zuhr time, or zuhr with asar at asar
time. Same goes for maghrib and isha. Please note that scholars do
give permission to combine prayers in some situations. However, you
should seek a proper scholar's fatwa before acting on this.
2- Request the hierarchy to give you time to offer prayer, and assure
them you will spend extra time in job, according to the time you used
to offer prayer.
For more details please read this, it will be very beneficial as the advice
is from a scholar:
http://www.islamqa.com/en/20712
Jazakillah khair
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------35. HALAAL ENTERTAINMENT

She wants to know what should she do when people call her boring
because of Islam.
Question:
Assalam oalaikum.
I want to discuss one problem that I am facing and I hope you'd better
guide me.Actually I moved to UK recently and living with my sisters,I
try to follow Islamic principles,and try to avoid the Haram things,for
example,I like to wear hijab,not to listen music while travelling(as it is
in culture here), not to watch Xfactor, etc etc, And the result is that I
end up being "BORING"... like they say why are you so boring,you don't
take interests in things that are famous here.
And also in my university,if I avoid these things,then I cant understand
what can I talk about so that I am not called as Boring...
Please please help me with this problem,I am very much tensed and I
am afraid I might lose my confidence and might get depressed.
please do help me,what should I do,and sorry for such a long message.
Jazak Allah khair
Answer:
That is a great question. This is a common question of almost all the
youth who want to come to islam but the fear that they may have to
leave many 'joyous' things, becomes a worry for them. They end up
thinking that islam is a boring way of life and this thinking blocks their
path. Many people think this way but dont ask or express, so thankyou
for asking and expressing.
First of all let me guarantee you that islam is not a boring way of life.
Infact it is the greatest way of life in every sense. It transforms a
person from substandard to worldclass (if followed properly). It brings
great pleasures and joys in life. It is the ideal way of life. Having said
that, first of all we should analyze the word 'boring'. People get bored
by different things. There is no such standard definition or criteria of
getting bored. Some may even get bored by watching movies. While
some may get bored by football matches. Yet for others football
matches are life. So it all depends on a person what makes him/her
bored. It all depends on the priorities, thinking, purpose and goals of a
person. A person who has no great goal but to only enjoy will always
feel bored by the good and healthy things in life such as exercise,
going to nature, writing something good, reading productive books,
learning productive things etc. Whereas a person who has high aims
will get bored and feel wasted by activities like music, movies, x factor,
opera etc.
Take the example of great people that passed and of today. What made
them bored and what brought them joy? What were there priorities and
goals? Lets take the example of all the leaders of countries and ceos of
great multinational organisations. Do they spend time watching
movies, x factor, american idol, british got talent etc, or do they spend
time doing productive things? Had they been watching all such kinda
stuff and listening to music, would they be leaders? So when they dont
waste time watching such stuff, and do not get labelled as boring, how
come a muslim who wants to practice islam and do productive things
instead of wasting time doing and watching silly things get labelled as
boring? Barack obama and others become ideals and standards but a
muslim gets labelled as boring? What kind of double standard is that?
You must realize that all these silly things are a distraction and a wise
person who realizes the importance of time does not indulge in them. I
gave you example of NON MUSLIM leaders and other great people who
realize that these things are a waste. So a muslim is even better than
these leaders and realizes that there is no joy and good in haram.
There is temporary and apparent joy but in reality what do such things
do to the mental level and health? Books have been written on the
negative influence of media on people.
So do not think you are boring. Rather you have taken such a great
step and are close to becoming a great and productive human being.
You have found and saved so much of your time which now you can
utilize in learning so much productive stuff. You can spend time reading
general knowledge books, scientific books, great stories of muslim
heroes, islamic and world history, empires of world, cooking,
psychology, sociology, books on etiquettes, books on how to be
successful in life and so much other stuff. You can then spread that
knowledge you read and tell unique information to people which they
dont know. You can really become a productive person and gain their
respect. Whenever you sit in people they will benefit from your
knowledge and experience. You can spend time in nature. Visiting
nature. Taking photographs. You can learn calligraphy. You can learn
swimming, you can learn public speaking skills. You can arrange social
gatherings. You can do so much. Was the world boring before creation
of radio, tv, and shows like x factor, music shows etc? The world was a
better place then it is now. It is just the society which has revised the
definition of joy and being boring. One does not become boring by
quitting silly stuff and if i use the right word, sh**y stuff. Pardon me for
using this word but i had too. You should be an example and try to
bring people out of this prison too. They sre enslaved to so called
entertainment, while missing so many joys of life. You should not be
flowing with the river (society). You will have to fight the tides and
drive your boat to the shore in order to achieve success.
Hope that answers the question.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------36. PICTURES ON FACEBOOK

What should one do if cousins upload pictures on facebook.
Question:
Assalamu alaykum!my cousins upload their pictures on fb......Is it

forbidden?what should I say coz now I dnt comment not even like
them....
Answer:
Sister it all depends on what status u have infront of them. Do they
respect you and give weightage to your words? If yes then be plain to
them and tell them sincerely that its wrong so please do not upload
pics. Tell them that there is only benefit in following injuctions of islam.
Tell them that males can see their pictures and so this breaks hijab and
this is not allowed.
However, if the matter is that they dont give weightage to your words,
and come in ego when you advise, i.e think that how can she advise
us, then u shud get this advise done by someone else whom they
respect.
Lastly, there are many matters more important than uploading pics.
For eg, offering prayers. If someone does not offer prayer, what will
that person achieve by not uploading pics? A brother asked me how to
stop my czn from listening to music. I said first fill the worth of islam in
his heart then he will himself leave music. A person who does not know
abc of islam, how can such person be expected to leave what they
have observed and learnt doing from childhood? Such things and
advises are not easily absorbed by people who have no fear of Allah or
strong faith. But if they start praying and knowing Allah, it becomes
easier for them to digest such advises. So make sure you advise them
the right thing first.

What is the ruling regarding male and female cousins.
Question: whats about cousin' s friendship(boy,and girls) in family,and
on fb...how can v convince our friends that is prohibit,and wrong in

Islam.
Answer: Cousins are na mehrams and therefore friendship and useless
interaction with them must be avoided. What you need to make your
friends understand is Islam came as a blessing for humanity and not to
put burden on people. Some people think that Islam puts so much
restrictions on people. These people have not studied the benefits that
Islamic injunctions bring to a person, that is why they feel and say such
things. Had they analyzed Islam and studied benefits and hikmah
about islamic injunctions, they would be following Islam like they follow
celebrities.
The hikmah behind forbidding interaction between na mehrams is to

uphold and protect the honor of a person and to protect the family
structure. What happens when na mehrams interact? Aren't we aware
of scandals and horrendous stories? Do we not see what happens in
movies when two na mehrams are alone? Do we not see the disastrous
effects of male/female interaction that leads to relationships and
destroys the family structure. Do we not know that the major reason
for depression among youngsters is relationship breaking.
Some people say i talk to na mehrams and i dont feel any fitna. The
thing is if you dont feel any fitna then can you guarantee the same
about others? Were islamic laws revealed by looking at you or by
keeping in view the welfare of the whole community? Suppose a
person says why is the red traffic signal needed. I can pass through the
traffic without doing any accident. So i dont need it. Will such a person
be accepted in society? Laws are for everyone. Everyone has to follow.
And they are for the benefit of whole society. If one person says that
such and such law does not apply to me and im safe, then that person
is not part of society.
Many a times it happens that cousins talk to eachother and one person
builds feelings whereas the other person doesn't. The result of this is
that person keeps living in khush fehmian until he/she is disappointed
to know the truth. Also na mehram cousins interacting with eachother
can build many misunderstandings which even lead to families fighting

with eachother. Islam wants to protect one's honor and save one from
every possible worry and tention. It is the best way of life and is pro
active in its approach. It tells people to not even take the first step. All
the world class multi national companies have this rule. They
encourage their employees to not even take a step towards something
which might pose a hazard. That is why they are world class. Islam also
wants a world class lifestyle for humanity.
You should not be going with the approach of convincing someone. The
only purpose of dawah is to please Allah. It takes a while to realize this
purpose. Most of us think purpose of dawah is to convince people to
haq. Hidayah is in Allah's Hands. You should always go with the
intention of pleasing Allah, then see the results. Your job is to convey
the right thing in a good manner and with good dalael. The wise will
accept, the foolish will argue, so leave the foolish and pray for them.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------38. VIDEO GAMES

He wants to know some video games who have haraam stuff in them.
Question:
A brother asked: "Aoa! Yaar, can you give me some names of the video
games, which contain free masonry or illuminati contents, actually its
my little brother in laws, they are shedaai of video games. I can
convince them if I have some proofs, supporting my points. If u have
some free times. Provide me some names of famous games alongwith
minor and specific detail about whats the objectionable material in
them. For e.g Age of Empires include suicide bomb blasts. Assassin's
creeds shows a mosque destroyed.
JazakAllah!!"
Answer:
Walekum salam wr wb
I think u shud try to make ur brother in law realise the importance of
time. Tell him to spend less time on games. Do not tell him in the start
ek dam se to leave all games and everything. This wont work. It mite
make him more stern. Tell him ke its alrite. Some games r gud and help
in nourishment of brain. Healthy for brain. But most games today are
designed to waste a persons time. And time means everything. Tell him
to lessen the time he spends on games.
Always remember this rule. When u want to advise someone, enter in

their minds and be them. Not you. Do not advise by looking at urself.
Think the best activity u love in ur life. Lets say football. So someone
comes to you and all of a sudden tells u to stop playing football, how
would u react? U have to understand that playing games for such
people is life. It is their purpose of life and like a diet. We cannot simply
remove it that easily. Do it step by step.
Let me tell u the way of rasul Allah s.a.w while correcting mistakes of
youngsters. Firstly he would praise their good qualities. Next he would
point out whats wrong in a very smart way. Then he would tell them ke
agar ye bi khatam hojae tau kia bat hai. This gives us a great lesson.
Youth always wants appreciation and encouragement and it hates
being stopped. It is their psychology. So first u must praise and
encourage ur brother in law. Mention his good qualities first. Like how
intelligent he is and smart. And whatever good u think in him. Then tell
him ke smart people play games because it requires good mental
capability. But then tell him ke excess of everything is bad. And in this
way convey what u wanna convey. This will work i.A
Jzk khayr

He wants to know the limits of interaction with the opposite gender
and wants to know the riddance to emotional tensions.
Question:
Assalamu alaikum. I had a question which i want you to answer as a
post on the page. There is no confusion in that interactions between

opposite gender is restricted. want the advice on
1) the limits of interactions in schools and work place where you have
to be socialy active inorder to be a good student/employ.
2) The way out to emotional tensions (cuz fasting is just perfect for the
phyical ones), specailly when you can't afford to marry. JazakAllah
Answer:
Brother always remember this rule while spending life according to

Islam:

"So fear Allah as much as you are able." (64:16)
And Allah goes on to say:

"And whoever is protected from the stinginess of his soul - it is those who will be
the successful." (64:16)
So what is learnt?
1- One should have taqwa of Allah and try his/her best to be away from all
abominations.
2- Whoever does jihad against the nafs, then such are the successful.
Now, as you can see that today most universities and schools are co ed and at
times it becomes very difficult for youngsters to completely avoid interaction. First
of all, co educaton is haram according to Islam. But now that youngsters are
studying in it, what they must do is to try their best as much as possible to act on
surah noor ayah 30 which commands men to lower their gaze.
Secondly, with regards to interaction, scholars allowed the following reasons for
talking to women:
1- It should be for a specific need and not for time pass or friendship.
2- The conversation should be brief and to the point.
3- That should be done without being alone with her (khulwah). Better to do
infront of a teacher or some other boys/girls.
4- The woman should not speak in a soft manner.
5- That should not go beyond what is necessary.
Remember, Allah knows the hearts:

"And whether you keep your talk secret or disclose it, verily, He is the All-Knower
of what is in the breasts." (67:13)
So, know that Allah will be knowing your intentions. So be careful in whatever
you do.
With regards to the second part of your question i.e a way out for emotional
tensions, brother remember that you are not alone in this. Every youngster is a
victim of this huge test. May Allah give patience to those who seek it. What you
can do are the following:
1- Engage yourself in productive activity like sports, swimming, etc.
2- Do much exercise especially running. Exercise decreases emotional stress
and saves one from unproductive activities.
3- Busy yourself with reading good books. Books are a great refuge from
tentions, depressions.
4- Avoid being alone. A person alone is like a lonely sheep for a wolf (shaytan).
Most depression comes when a person is lonely. Spend time with family friends
etc.
5- Avoid bad company. Be in righteous and decent company.
6- Stay away from technology as much as you can. Just use when necessary.
Over use of technology is poison and death of heart.
7- Avoid going to shopping malls, cafes etc. Avoid watching movies, tv etc which
may contain a scene enough to ruin your eman, act like a stimulator and lit fire
and make you very frustrated.
8- Wake up for qayyam ul layl. Tahajjud. It is like an axe for shameful activities
and a great activity for training of soul.
9- Do azkar of morning and evening. Always do.
10- Pray sincerely to Allah and be in great contact with Allah.
May Allah help you and every youngster going through your phase. Ameen
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------40. MUSIC
He wants to know the ruling on music and it's alternatives.
Question:
Salam Brother
Could you please give some ruling on music as its a gray area for me and if it is
haram what alternatives can we use.
I'd appreciate it. Thanks
Answer:
Wos wr wb brother
Pardon me for asking this straightforwardly, do you offer prayers?
Questioner:
Yes I do . I have been getting regular at them lately. Don't go to the masjid as
often but I try fulfill my duty towards Allah
Answer:
Alhamdulilah. La haula wala quwatta illa billah (no power no strength except from
Allah).
I asked this because some people ask about music and other masael whereas
they do not fulfil the basic obligations. When a person fulfils the basic obligations,
in a just manner (taking advantage from them), every grey area becomes clear to
him by the grace of Allah.
Well brother i want to tell you that i used to be a metal music lover. I was a die
hard fan of metallica. If you ask me, i still remember more than 50 songs lyrics. I
used to consider ozzy osborne as some kind of a prophet and would revere him
like i did none. I heard all genres. Heavy, death, black, gothic, grindcore, nu, etc.
I had a collection of more than 100gb of audio + video, at a time when 100gb was
seen as something out of the world and with awe. I even sang for sometime for
an amateur band.
Alll praise to Allah Almighty for having guided me to Islam and for replacing my
love for music with love for Quran. Indeed it is Allah Who controls the hearts and
His help we should seek.
Brother i am telling u all this because ive been there and ive heard both. The
music and the tilawat of kitab Allah. And by Allah, the two cannot remain in one
heart, except that the one expels the other. This is the bottom line im telling you
from my own experience.
Now Islam is a perfect and organized way of life. Like every other organized
system, it has stages. The first stage is the cleansing of heart and the building of
eman. Eman meaning a 100% trust that Islam is the haq and we are Allah's
slaves and hence should spend life like He has told. As Allah says:
"And who believe in which has been sent down (revealed) to you (Muhammad
Peace be upon him )and in which were sent down before you and they believe
with certainty in the Hereafter."
(2:4)
The arabic word used in this ayah is YOOQINOON. i-e ABSOLUTE assurance
and certainty. Allah tells this as a quality of momineen. Now brother once we are
through this stage, then all next stages become easy insha Allah.
Music is no doubt haram according to majority scholars. Yes some scholars

declare it as halal, but they too do not approve of the contemporary music that is
being made such as trance, vulgar bollywood songs, and stupid love songs of the
west. What they say is that music that does not lead u away from the
rememberance of Allah is halal.
Now any wise person, who is serious about Hereafter, like a student who is very
serious about his exams, would leave grey areas out of fear of being fallen into
something forbidden which may affect his exam results, would stay away from
something which is doubtful. All u need to do is to find that serious feeling. And if
its not there then create it. Everything is created through hard work. Study about
basics of Islam and try to build more and more yaqeen on Hereafter and realize
the reality of this dunya - which is nothing more than a wing of a mosquitoe
infront of Allah. Insha Allah u will find everything easy. You will urself find out the
alternatives insha Allah.
I pray that may Allah guide all those who are sincere like you and may Allah
Almighty make it easy for them, forgive them and reward them with the best in
this world as well as the Hereafter.
Wasalam
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------41. HARAAM INTERACTION
She wants to know about making boyfriends and talking to male class fellows.
Question:
is it haram to make boyfrnd on net and do chat with them ????
and if we are studyng in co-education,,should we talk to male class felows or this
is also haram ?
guide me please,,but not on ur wall,,its a secret question,,i was searching to
whom i should ask this personl question !!
thankeww !
Answer:
Asalam o alaykum
Dear sister, thankyou for asking the question and trusting us.
Before i answer your question my dear younger sister, let me tell you that you are
lucky to be born a muslim, for how many people are out there who are not born in
a muslim family. You were chosen by Allah and granted this favor. So thank much
about it. A Muslim is a great title. Allah has called Muslims the best of people.
Allah says:
"You are the best nation produced [as an example] for mankind. You enjoin what
is right and forbid what is wrong and believe in Allah."
(3:110)
So, a Muslim is an example for others. A muslim avoids all bad things and
enjoins all that is good. And let me tell you my dear sister that every hukm of
Islam is for the good of human being. Allah says:
"Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship." (2:185)
Now coming to your question, it is haram to make boyfriends, because Islam

protects women from misuse and getting hurt. Islam honors woman and has
provided a halal way for her physical and emotional needs i.e to get married. But
you know what happens in relations. Girls make boyfriends and they misuse
them, promise them marriage, and then in the end what happens? Relations
break. Psychological torture. And so much more. Scandals get famous. It is
because of all such things that Islam forbids male/female frankness. Islam wants
to protect and honor woman. If you see, whats happening in west? Every girl has
upto 4-5 boyfriends. What kind of a immoral society are they making. You can
see the disastrous results. So islam says no to boyfriends and girlfriends. It says
get married or be patient.
Now coming to chatting question. Chating with males leads to shameful activities
which i do not want to mention. Rasul Allah s.a.w said that when two male and
female and alone, the third one present with them is shaytan. And shaytan
entices them to do shameful acts. One day frankness will increase and it will lead
to shameful activities on chat, skype, etc. So, a wise muslimah, such as yourself,
stays away from such activities and keeps her honor, and does not deceive
parents who raised her up by sacrificing a lot.
With regards to co education, it is haram. But if u are studying in it and cannot

leave, then what u can do is to not interact much with males, except for need.
Useless interaction must be avoided and you must speak not in a soft and frank
tone, lest some boy becomes khush fehem. Allah says:
"If you fear Allah , then do not be soft in speech [to men], lest he in whose heart
is disease should be moved with desire, but speak in an honorable way." (33:32)
Hope it answers the question you asked. Take care of yourself and never let
anyone misuse you or look at you with bad intent. Be a slave of Allah and then
see how much success Allah will give you.
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Counseling Questions: 1. Sincerity Test

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COUNSELING QUESTIONS

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------1. SINCERITY TEST

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------2. AN IDEAL HUSBAND

find this "mr perfect" in a non perfect world!! JazakAllah

Sixthly, never compromise on marrying an arrogant person. Rasul Allah

foremost, adopt patience. Be a role model. Do not tell her everyday to

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------5. HARAAM INTERACTION

of the ways to stop them.

Psychologists recommend this as a great way to teach teenagers

people say to you. Just do what u think as right. Learn to differentiate

Always think of this quote whenever someone personally hits you or

he/she might consider it from Allah. Ma'az Allah. Relations such as

have no control and is from Allah subhana wataala.

Thirdly, it is amazing that one complains of being bad looking, while

any responsibility? It is only her akhlaq, taqwa, cooperation, sacrifice

I remember a brother talking to me and telling me that his family has

So brother do not be deceived by disneyworld, Cinderella, snow white

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------10. PORN ADDICTION

had been accessing excplicit videos, which has absolutely disgusted

According to very old statistics:

According to recent statistics:

Pakistan, Bangladesh. There is no doubt that porn addiction is a

or has 'some other meaning', But it is exactly as it mentioned:

Fifthly, the husband can act on the following, personally.

4- Corrupting the aqeeda and belief by propagating atheism,

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------12. HARAAM INTERACTION

(Permission taken from the sister to share it openly)

Now coming to your question, it is haram to make boyfriends, because

Now coming to chatting question. Chating with males leads to

With regards to co education, it is haram. But if u are studying in it and

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------13. CONFUSION REGARDING AN AYAH

How do I accept it? Feels like there's a descrimination against women.

First of all, i want you to know that women in Quran, by name, or

and rebuked them, especially prophet's wives.

"Thus did Adam disobey his Lord, so he went astray." (20:121)

Consider the following ayah revealed for wicked men as a whole:

Consider this for Abu Lahab:

Consider this for Abu Jahl:

"Nay! Verily, man does transgress all bounds. Because he considers

himself self-sufficient." (96:6-7)

"And truly, most of men are Fasiqn." (5:49)

Another rebuke for Sahaba:

Allh is Severe in punishment." (59:7)

Some misogynist may say. WHAT!! Allah exposing mistake of a MAN

so worried and subjected to the taunts of Quraish Mushriks who said he

And i can quote hundreds of stern ayahs, full of rebuke, to the

and reminding them of severe punishment of Allah? How many ayahs

share therein, his will be a great torment." (24:11)

And then a complete surah named after a woman, Mariam. Surah

If Allah has rebuked the wives of Prophet (pbuh), he has also

Allaah says in the Quran:

Secondly, Allah listens to all duas, and to everyone, He is as samee.

Now coming to your main question. What is meant by 'paaney ki dua'.

As for liking a righteous person and wishing to get married to him/her.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------15. HARAAM INTERACTION

"Regardless of what some individuals say about co education

As far as your question is concerned, actions such as high fives,

(Narrated by at-Tabrani, in his al-Mu'jam al-Kabir (Vol.20 Pg.211). This

The matter is simple. You know, we all know, what happens at

They send their daughters proudly in co education and then have to

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------16. ISTAQAMAAH ON VEIL

Plz guide me through Quran and Sunnah..

Be confident in what you are doing. Allah said: