Bhakti Yoga

My thoughts are infinite, they range for the mundane to the entire universe including all
known, imagined and unimagined. The only difference between what I immediately see,
feel, touch or hear and all I can think about is that this feels “real” (although I am not sure
what reality is, it has to be more than a convention) and the others are in my head, so to
speak, although that too is conjecture. Someone told me or I read it somewhere that the
thoughts are in my head, they could be in thin air but they are not material things.

If for the moment I dwell in my thoughts and assume that I am not what I can physically
sense but all I can think of, then really there is no difference between You and I and Him.
For I can think all You can and if I can’t You will tell me and then I can. So in other
words, if we can make the world of thoughts real, we are all one. We can even extend this
to all beings, all matter and everything in the cosmos.

I feel constrained and presumptuous in claiming that I am You, lord. Also, am afraid that
the blasphemy will somehow hurt my mortal presence. The fear is of course nonsense for
this mortal presence is by definition mortal and will one day be hurt terminally by I am
told, You or me.

But there is a difference between us. Right! Let’s see the difference is that no one
worships me but they You. You have been around for ever and I apparently for about 60
years. First of all they worship You because they don’t know You and fear You or want
You. Some even love You but that w e will come to later. I am not sure if any of that
makes us inherently different. If I could amass incredible wealth, power or skills, many
will start to forget You and worship me. They do, when I seem to be the Godfather or the
President.

As for You being here forever and I only for sixty years. Let us examine that carefully. I
am TOLD that I have been here for only sixty years. My personal recollection is even
shorter than that as I do not remember whether I was here or not when this body came to
be. I am told by a couple of dear people, whom I loved and trusted that I was born as a
flesh and bone body some sixty years ago. And they watched me grow into child, adult
and now an old man. They somehow know that I am the same little baby grown into this
body. They have called it my name and I have heard it since I can recall. But does that
make it me?

Some other very dear people, whom I didn’t meet but millions have told me that they
were reliable and honest souls, told me that I am actually the same as them. I am
speaking of Jesus, Krishna and Buddha as well as many other going by many names in
recorded history. Who do I believe more? Or, should I believe them all? Am I both the
little limited body my parents named and the being sages have told me about? How do I
find out?

The only thing I have to go by to make this very critical decision is my own instincts or
faith in someone else, either dear and trusted friends or reputably the best source of such
information, God and their appointed agents. The only reason I trusted mom and dad
because of my love for them. I am also told that if I loved Jesus enough I will see or
become the truth.

So love appears to be the key in finding out. But it is this love that puts the conflict in me.
My love for all things physical including my family and friends tells me every minute of
the day until I fall asleep that I am but a feeble human being walking this planet. I
suppose I do not love You enough to believe Your words that I am in fact You. I do know
that love is key as true understanding always comes from love. Imagine a musician or an
Olympic athlete or a great creative genius who did not truly love what he was doing. I do
see the need for complete and utter love to find out who You are and who I am. Now I
have to determine how to find out how to make this fake love into True Love or Bhakti.