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The Friendship and Fellowship

Of the Gospel, Part 4
Philemon 7
July17 and 25, 2005

Introduction

A smoldering prayer life, identifiable only by a small thin

streak of smoke that ascends only when it is poked?

Or wet prayer life that seems dead, unable to be lit or

burned?

When is last time you felt your heart leap within you,
coming alive inside? When was last time it did this
because of some act of love – great or small – that
another saint showed?

Our prayer life and refreshment are forever linked, by

God’s design, to one another. So we must be looking
out for things in others to thank God for. And we
ourselves must be giving others things for which to
thank God. The failure to do this explains the failure of
our prayer lives as well as the spiritual heart failure we
experience so often when we feel cold, dead, numb, and
lifeless. I think it all begins at the most fundamental
level of not understanding or not taking opportunities to
love one another.

From Philemon verse 7 we will learn over the next

couple of weeks that love is the:

1. Motivation and energy for our thanksgiving and

prayer life.
2. Source of our joy and comfort.
3. Generator of refreshment to the saints.
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Verse 7 brings us to our final verse in this series we’ve

called “The Friendship and the Fellowship of the Gospel.”
And in verse seven we finally come to the fourth
reflection of gospel friendship and fellowship.

4. Gospel Love and Faithfulness Cannot Help

but Bring Joy, Comfort, and Refreshment to the
Hearts of True Believers.

Review: giving and forgiving were at the heart of Paul’s

request of Philemon in this letter. Paul makes request
based already on Philemon’s wonderful testimony in the
area of generosity and liberality with his own personal
resources. And Paul’s mindset is that if Philemon has
already shown such love and faithfulness to the saints
through his constant and repeated acts of generosity,
then welcoming his runaway slave, Onesimus, in
forgiveness should not be so hard a thing for Philemon.
And neither should be the thought of emancipating him,
sending Onesimus back to Paul in prison to minister to
him there and help advance the gospel.

The point here was this: if you truly love the Lord Jesus
Christ and consider yourself to be faithful to Him, you
will be demonstrating that to Him through your love and
faithfulness to all the saints. And that demonstration of
love and faithfulness to all the saints will show itself
through giving and forgiving, just as it did in Philemon’s
life.

Undoubtedly you all will recall my soapbox about

connectives in the Greek language and how important
they are to forming the propositions and principles we
are to derive from a biblical text. As you’ve heard me
say so often, it’s the little connecting words in a text that
form the structure for Paul’s argument as well as the
outline for what we ought to imitate. Well, verse 7 as
two important connectives which highlight for us two
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important features about Paul’s life that we ought to
imitate if we are to have the same sort of joy and
refreshment that Paul experienced through Philemon.

A. The love other saints show ought to become

a motivation and stimulus to thanksgiving
and prayer for them.

The first connective is found in the very first word of the

verse, at least in your English Bibles. It is the word “for,”
which is the word gar in the Greek NT. By beginning this
sentence with the word “for,” we see that verse 7
provides the reason for verses 4-6.

Remember I’ve told you before that this little Greek word
gar is many times a ‘causal’ word indicating a purpose or
reason for something. By substituting the word
‘because’, then, we can sometimes get a more accurate
picture of what Paul is really after. Translated this way
the context could read something like this:

“The reason I thank my God always when I

remember you in my prayers, Philemon…
and the reason I pray that the sharing of
your faith may become effective…is
because I have derived much joy and
comfort from your love, my brother…”

So, it was Philemon’s love towards the saints (his love

and faith, in verse 5) that caused Paul to derive much
joy and comfort from Philemon’s love, thus prompting
him to constantly thank God for Philemon in his prayers.

What we learn from this is simple then, isn’t it? If the

rest of Paul’s prayer life was anything like his prayer life
for Philemon, and we get no small hint of that in the rest
of his prayers, then the constancy of his prayers for
Philemon (and others) is energized by the constancy of
the love he sees others showing toward other saints.
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This then, is the first thing I want you to see about this
little word “for” in verse 7. Paul prayed for Philemon so
often, because he was so often given cause for rejoicing
and comfort through reports of Philemon’s love for the
saints. In other words, Philemon’s constant reflections of
love toward the saints gave Paul constant opportunities
to pray for Philemon’s continued effectiveness in this
area, as well as thank God for Philemon.

But there is something unique about this first phrase in

verse 7 that I don’t want you to miss. It is the little
phrase, “from your love.” This little phrase and the
thought behind it forms the backbone of the entire letter
to Philemon. I shared some of this with you a few weeks
ago when we looked at verse 5, about Philemon’s love
and faithfulness toward the saints. But let me open it up
for you more fully here. Consider the following list as
the vertebrae to this spinal column of the letter.

• In verse 9, love is the basis for Paul’s appeal to

Philemon.
• In verse 10, love forms the description of the
Father/Son bond between Paul and Onesimus.
• In verse 12, love frames the feelings of Paul’s soul
toward Onesismus as being, “my very heart.”
• In verse 14, love forms the basis for showing
preference to Philemon.
• In verse 16, love forms the reason why Philemon
should now view Onesimus as a beloved brother.
• In verse 17, love is the basis for accepting
Onesimus, “If you love me, love him like you love
me.”
• In verses 18 and 19, love is the foundation for
Paul’s willingness to pay back what Philemon lost
because of Onesimus.
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• In verse 21, love is the grounds for the certainty
that Philemon would go above and beyond what
Paul asked regarding Onesimus.

Paul’s love toward Philemon motivated him to write the

letter. Philemon’s love for Paul as a spiritual father plays
a significant role in understanding how Philemon would
read the letter. Onesimus’ love for Paul as a spiritual
father plays as significant a role in how Philemon ought
to come to view Onesimus. And Philemon’s love for the
saints provides the basis for Paul’s excitement and
eventual request. Love is in this letter, moving in and
out of each verse, acting not only as the vertebrae and
spinal column, but also as the spinal fluid which makes
the spinal column operate normally. It is woven into the
very fiber of these two men, Paul and Philemon. And
that’s the greatest thing to learn from this letter, in my
opinion.

Philemon’s love toward the saints, in the many ways in

which he seemed to so constantly reflect it, is the
biggest and most important thing that seemed to
motivate Paul’s reason for writing the letter. He knows
that if Philemon is so loving in so many areas, he could
not fail to continue showing such love when it came to
the case of Onesimus, his runaway slave.

And circling back to our text this morning, the biggest

and most important motivation for Paul’s prayer life for
Philemon is Philemon’s love. As he watched Philemon
excel in loving the saints in the house-churches of
Colosse, Paul could not help but to give constant
thanksgiving to God for such a man as this serving God’s
people. What pastor wouldn’t?

These kinds of persons are the joy of a pastor’s life,

whether you knew that or not. Sometimes I can tell
what kind of people are in a church by the way the
pastor talks about them. If there is mostly complaining
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and grumbling, then that usually means that his flock is
mostly filled with people who don’t love one another like
Philemon loved the saints around him.

But when there has been mostly bragging, boasting, and

rejoicing, it has been over certain persons in the church
who are increasing more and more in their love for the
saints around them. When I listen to pastors talk like
this, it is almost as if I can hear Paul bragging on
Philemon again. And that’s what a pastor’s conversation
should mostly be about anyway, right? Philemon, and
others like him, gave Paul a constant sense of
thanksgiving and gratitude towards God. They were the
light of Paul’s prayer life. But they should also be the
light of your prayer life as well, shouldn’t they? And not
just for the pastor.

We should first of all seek to love the saints like

Philemon loved them. But it seems natural that there
will always be certain persons who excel at it more than
others. And these persons ought to motivate and
energize our prayer life and gratitude just as Philemon
did Paul’s.

So, not only did Philemon’s love motivate Paul’s prayers

and thanksgiving, but I want you to notice the second
thing Philemon’s love did for Paul. It was the source of
Paul’s comfort and joy, according to verse 7. Notice that
in the phrase, “from your love,” that the word “from”
provides a source for what came before. Paul derived
much joy and comfort from the source of Philemon’s
love.

Again, there is this mental picture coming to my mind of

a generator, energizing and giving life to Paul’s spirit.
Every act of love on the part of Philemon to the saints
was like another kilowatt of comfort and joy transferred
to Paul’s heart. It is almost as if Paul’s soul is strangely
linked to Philemon’s soul, so that whatever Philemon
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does affects Paul. And that’s the way it ought to be,
right? That is certainly the very sense we are to get
from a chapter like 1 Corinthians 12 when we read about
the workings of spiritual gifts among the church body
and how each is affected by the workings of another.

This is just what Paul probably means when he uses a

word like the one many of us have in our translations,
the word “derived.” Perhaps you have something
different. But notice two things about this word.

First, the word means, “to have or hold in possession of

the mind.” It means to get or to receive. Paul
possessed joy and comfort in his mind because of
Philemon’s love. Each act of love on the part of
Philemon was an opportunity for Paul to get or receive
more joy and comfort. As John Chrysostom, the famous
5th century preacher, and touted as the most famous
expositor in all of church history, has written,

“Thou has given me confidence from the things which

though hast done to others.”

So in Chrysostom’s mind, confidence was the product or

result of Paul’s deriving. Each act of love which
Philemon displayed toward the saints was another
confidence booster in the fact that God was most
definitely working in Philemon and that Philemon most
definitely belonged to Christ Jesus. And, what is more
central to the thrust of the letter, each act of love
Philemon showed only provided Paul with greater
confidence that he would get what he was going to ask
Philemon for – the forgiveness and emancipation of
Philemon.

Second, the word “derived” itself is a verb, and it is in

what we call the aorist tense. The aorist in the Greek
provides the big picture about the action described.
Robertson Nicoll, a famous expositor on the Greek NT,
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has written that “the aorist expresses forcibly the
moment of joy which Paul experienced when he heard
this good news about Philemon’ (EGNT). So Philemon’s
acts of generosity, then, provided Paul with much joy
and comfort instantaneously, upon hearing the reports.
His heart instantly leaped with joy upon hearing of each
of Philemon’s acts of love.

Boy, this is exciting! Can you picture it in your mind?

This Paul, torn and battered and wearied by persecution,
sitting shackled to a guard under house arrest, receiving
this report from Epaphras who has come from some 500
miles away. Paul sits and talks with Epaphras, and when
the conversation turns to Philemon, Paul’s heart lights
up with each report, with Paul asking Epaphras, ‘Tell me
more! Tell me more!” as if Paul were like a little child
sitting with legs cross and hands thrust downward into
the lap with sheer excitement!

Do reports about the love of the saints excite you this

way? Do they give you instantaneous joy and comfort?
Do they cause you to explode with rejoicing inside?
That’s what they did for Paul, and I believe that’s what
they should do for us! Look at what they provided for
Paul.

• Reports of Philemon’s love provided Paul with

“joy.” This word refers to the feeling of inner
happiness, gladness, and delight Paul experienced.
Again, each report of Philemon’s love produced a
very real feeling and inner sense of happiness,
gladness and delight.

For those Christians in the kingdom of God who

downplay emotions in the Christian life, they’ll have a
hard time overcoming the true sense and understanding
of this word. This is a feeling, plain and simple. It is not
this calm, stoic sense that everything will be alright, as
I’ve heard some pastors talk about it. No, it is an
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emotion, an experience the heart comes to encounter.
And it is wonderful and natural and should be expected.
I wonder about Christians who do not experience any
joy. And I wonder about Christians who do not
experience any joy on account of the loving testimony of
other Christians. My contention is that the joy of each
Christian is inseparably tied to others, but more on this
later.

• Reports of Philemon’s love provided Paul with

“comfort.” The word refers to “consolation” which
means “to come alongside.” It is the Greek word
paraklesin, from which comes the familiar word
paraclete.

Philemon’s acts of love toward the saints come alongside

Paul to comfort and console him. Why? Perhaps
because he was in prison and yearned for any and every
piece of news he could get regarding the saints of God
he loved so much. That’s kind of where my mind goes
when trying to answer this question. Philemon’s
testimony was perhaps a consolation to him while he sat
in prison, wondering how all these churches were getting
along.

Encouragement may also fall in some field of thought

here. The word for ‘comfort’ can also refer to
encouragement. Paul may have been encouraged as he
sat in prison hearing testimony after report of Philemon’s
love and faithfulness to the church there in Colosse.

And to close out the look at these two particular words,

we would be remiss if we didn’t notice a very important
word which accompanies ‘joy and comfort,’ namely, the
word ‘much.’ There wasn’t just joy and comfort being
felt here. There was MUCH! joy and comfort felt here.
Lots of it! Lots and lots of it! Lots and lots and lots of it!
What that suggests to me is that there wasn’t just one or
two reports of Philemon’s love toward the saints. No,
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there was report, after report, after report, after report,
after report, after report, after reports galore about
Philemon! In other words, if there was much joy and
comfort being felt by Paul, it was only because there was
much love that Philemon had shown to the saints!

Let me illustrate what I mean with a very recent

example which occurred just this past week. As you all
know we just sent off our first short-term missions team,
a small group of six – three adults and three children.
They went up to serve a children’s ministry in Canada
with my former church ministry in West Michigan.

My former ministry was much larger than this one,

somewhere between six and seven hundred folks, a
mega-church compared to us. The group going from
that church was about eighty, made up of over fifty kids
and thirty adults. Naturally then, given the size of the
church and this group, I wondered how our small-town
church members would do with a group this size. There
were the very natural fears of wondering if the kids
would fit in, and how everyone’s personalities might
mesh in with the rest of the group.

But as Sherri talked to Coralie this past Monday, on the

4th of July, those fears turned to joy and comfort as
report after report was delivered about how everyone
was fitting it extremely well. I heard about how every
team member had found a good friend to minister with,
and when I found out who those friends were my heart
leaped with even more excitement, given what I know
about those individuals.

It was a wonderful example of me experiencing much joy

and comfort in my heart over how good things were
going and how these two groups were loving each other
so well. Oh, it makes my heart swell up now just to talk
about it. I wish I were there with them to hang with
them and minister with them and just be with them!
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And I think that’s just the sort of thing God wants to elicit
in our hearts when we read about Paul’s relationship
with Philemon.

• Suming it up: Every instance of testimony about

Philemon’s love instantaneously sparked joy and
encouragement to a wearied Paul sitting shackled
in prison.

Transition: Illustration

You are no doubt familiar with the phrase, “a word from

the outside.” Immediately when I use a phrase like that,
you know just what I’m talking about, don’t you? I’m
talking about a prisoner awaiting “a word from the
outside” world, from a wife, or husband, or perhaps from
another family member or friend.

I’m not sure if any of us in here have ever been in prison

for any length of time, or in prison at all for that matter!
But I have a very dear friend of mine named Joe Graff
who will probably serving about 4 more years of his ten
year sentence. He came to Christ during his second
year in prison, and has grown by leaps and bounds ever
since, due only to the grace of God in his life.

Joe doesn’t have very many people writing him, from

what I understand. And as I understand his relationship
with his family, only his sister comes to see him from
time to time. My boys and I have been two or three
times to see him, I believe. We’d like to go again this
summer.

My point here is that whenever Joe hears from either me

or Harrison, our oldest, through writing, he writes back
expressing the most heartfelt joy and comfort and
gratitude you could possibly imagine. He sits in jail, day
after day, week after week, month after month, year
after year, and has never seen the outside of his prison
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yard for almost six years. Can you imagine that? I mean
really, can any of us fathom what that must be like?

If you can even in the slightest, then you can probably

imagine what it feels like to get “a word from the
outside” from his sister or from Harrison or myself. He
lights up inside. He is elated. I mean who isn’t excited
anyway, when they get a letter in the mail. My kids are.
I still am. We all are to a certain degree. But when you
are a prisoner, without the ability to get outside your
prison and talk to people and fellowship with others,
your heart can get cold and lonely. I’m quite sure Paul
experienced that often. So when he got “a word from
the outside” about Philemon, you can only imagine what
he must have felt like, just like I can only imagine what
Joe Graff feels like when we write him.

Transition

Well, I feel like here is a good a place as any to stop for

this week. I know we’ve only gotten through the first
phrase of verse 7, something pretty common for me, as
you well know. But I don’t want to stop until I make the
necessary corollary for you through some application.
There are three essentials I think we should draw out of
this first phrase of verse 7 this morning.

Application and Conclusion

Over and above the love Philemon had for the saints in
his house church there is the love God had for Philemon
in the ministry of Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches us
through and through that the only reason we love one
another is because of the love of Jesus that works in us
and through us. That love He has for us becomes the
greater principle for us to observe here in this text this
morning.
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1. First, I think we ought to derive joy and
comfort from the love of Jesus Christ toward all
His children, His saints.

The lack of understanding and experiencing this, first

and foremost, is the most probable reason why we don’t
derive joy and comfort from the love of other saints. We
may not know what we are looking for. And we my not
know what a good report sounds like, the kind of report
that makes us leap for joy and the kind that consoles
and encourages our heart.

That said, meditating and learning about the love of

Jesus Christ toward you and His church will not only
bring you personal joy and comfort, but will also build a
framework through which you will begin to view more
and more reflections and manifestations and displays of
love that so many saints are showing each and every
day.

2. Second, that love we discover there, in Christ’s

love for us, will educate and motivate us with
the desire to love others who are in need just
as He loved us when we were in need.

Again, the essence of Philemon’s love for the saints, in

this letter at least, was his generosity of all shades and
sizes. How generous has Christ been to you? When was
the last time you’ve pondered His great love and
graciousness and generosity toward you and your
family? And I’m not just talking about all the stuff we
have – our houses, our cars, our food, etc. I’m talking
about everything, including your health, your job, the
health of your children, the food you eat, the kind of food
you get to eat, etc.

I’m also talking about God’s generosity in Christ Jesus.

When was the last time we stopped to ponder just how
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much God really gave when He gave Jesus to us? When
was the last time we stopped to ponder just how much
Jesus gave of Himself to us? Do we really know just how
wealthy we are in having Christ?

You see, when we know the kindness and generosity of

God’s love for us in Christ, our hearts will catch a
glimpse and a vision of that love and automatically think
of ways to show it to others, give it to others, and be
that kind of love and generosity to others.

3. Third, then as we love others like Jesus, they

will derive much joy and comfort from our love,
just as we did from Christ’s love. Philemon is
an example of that.

Knowing this kind of divine love and generosity is what is

going to make our little church grow. People will begin
experiencing our love and generosity to them, which is
really Jesus ministering through us, and they will
experience joy and comfort and refreshment. That’s
what will make people want to be around us as a
fellowship, as a flock of God’s sheep.

You know what that feels like, don’t you, to be around

people who when you leave their presence, make you so
filled with hope, comfort, joy, rejoicing, happiness,
delight? You leave so refreshed and full of hope, don’t
you? And that’s the way we want to make everyone in
our midst feel, whether they are people we know, or
people we don’t know.

And all of this will only happen when we experience the

love and generosity of God first and foremost in our own
hearts, then in our own homes, then in our own flock,
and then out into the world. But it starts within us. And
it only stands to reason that if people are not feeling
refreshed when they are around us, and if we are not
striving to give them reason to rejoice and feel
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refreshed, then that it is because we are not giving
ourselves reason in the gospel to rejoice and feel
refreshed by the constant love and generosity of God in
Christ.

Conclusion

May God lead us along this highway I’ve just described

for you. May we open ourselves up to being led along
this highway. Otherwise, our brand of Christianity will
continue to remain stale, tasteless, only concerned with
sound doctrine, only interested in keeping the tradition,
and non-effectual in a community that needs Christ so
badly. This is what Jesus has called us to, and this is
what He died to bring about. May we lay down our
inhibitions and even prohibitions, if necessary, to be like
Christ to them.
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The Friendship and Fellowship
Of the Gospel, Part ??
Philemon 7
July 17 and 25, 2005

Introduction

As you all know I took a vacation a couple of weeks ago.

We went to the beach. I love the beach, especially,
above all other vacationing spots. There seems to be
just something about it that relaxes me, even more than
the mountains. I don’t know what it is, whether it is the
recurring sound of the waves that calm me, or the quiet,
or perhaps these things combined with a change of
environment. But regardless of what it is that relaxes
me, I can feel it happening.

I’m a hard one to get relaxed. I don’t rest often. God

seems to have wired me in hyper-mode so that I seem
always going and doing something, working on
something, thinking through some theological problem,
calling and encouraging someone, playing with the kids,
helping in the kitchen, cleaning up…there’s just stuff
going all the time.

But when I’m on vacation it takes mental energy to

relax. I have to focus on the environment and focus
heavily on the fact that I am supposed to be vacationing.
Then, out of nowhere, the feeling hits me and my body
begins to slow down and come to a pause and I’m
relaxed. No worries flood me at all. Anxiety seems to
fade away into the horizon. And I just have a good time.

As much as I enjoy these times, there is another kind of

rest and refreshment and relaxation that comes when
I’m around certain folks I know. I feel sort of the same
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way when I’m around them as when I’m on vacation.
There’s a real sense of relaxation and rest and I come
away feeling refreshed. But I’m not just refreshed in
body and mind. Vacation can only refresh these parts of
me. But it cannot refresh my heart. Only long visits
with these certain people seems to do that for me.

Perhaps you’ve been around people like this. You enter

in their home, and they’ve already created an
environment around you, a sort of atmosphere, of rest.
You don’t get the feeling you’re being watched or judged
or criticized or analyzed. You don’t feel like you’re
walking on thin ice or eggshells. You can let down your
guard and be yourself. You can talk honestly about your
problems and burdens without feeling like you’ll get a
sermon in response. You can open up your china shop
and be ensured that no bulls will come charging in. You
can laugh, have a good time, and rest. And when you
leave, you feel refreshed in the Lord because those
people shared your burdens, relieved your concerns,
prayed for you and with you and over you. They loved
on you, were generous to you, and simply showered
their affection on you.

I want to be more like that to you all, just as those

people are to me. And I want you all to be more like that
to each other. This is certainly how Christ presents
Himself to us, isn’t it? In Matthew 11:28-29 He calls us
to come to Him as a meek, gentle shepherd who is ready
to take us tired, weary, and heavy-laden lambs into His
arms and relieve us and give us rest. Jesus does this for
us, and when we experience that we will know how to do
it for others.

Philemon had been carried along by Jesus, and that’s

why he was so good at what he did. He too seemed to
excel in refreshing the hearts of the saints around him.
And that’s what I want to focus on for a few minutes this
morning.
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4. Gospel Love and Faithfulness Cannot Help but

Bring Joy, Comfort, and Refreshment to the
Hearts of True Believers.

Last week I mentioned to you that from verse 7 of

Philemon we would see that love is three things:

1. Motivation and energy for our thanksgiving and

prayer life.
2. Source of our joy and comfort.
3. Generator of refreshment to the saints.

I explained numbers one and two last week. And this

week I want to close verse 7 by connecting number two
to number three.

If you’ll notice the word that begins the next phrase in

verse 7, you might read something like “for” or
“because” or something to that effect. Again, this is
another connective, just like the one that began the
verse.

Last week I showed you how the connective that begins

verse 7 links to the section we’ve been in for some time
now in verses 4-7. This whole section has been an
abundantly rich section reflecting Paul’s prayer life and
heart of thanksgiving. In fact, all of Paul’s prayers are
abundantly as rich and provide a wealth of teaching,
reproof, correction and instruction in righteousness
concerning our own prayer lives.

Well, Paul was praying to God with a heart of

thanksgiving for Philemon constantly because, according
to the first part of verse 7 as we saw last week, Philemon
had constantly given Paul much joy and comfort. How
did Philemon in Colosse give Paul, some 500 miles away
in Rome under house-arrest, much comfort and joy?
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When Epaphras was released by the Colossian church to
come and minister to Paul in prison, Epaphras brought
with him report after report after report of the love and
generosity Philemon had shown to the saints in his
house church there. And upon immediately hearing
about Philemon’s marvelous reflection of the generosity
of God in Jesus Christ, Paul’s heart leaped with joy,
gladness, happiness and delight. And he was very much
comforted or consoled also, something he longed to
experience as one sitting in prison, away from his
beloved friends, wondering how the saints around the
world were doing whom he had played a role in leading
to Jesus.

Yes, Paul derived much joy and comfort from Philemon’s

generosity because Philemon had much love to give. He
himself had experienced the greatest act of generosity
any man or woman or child ever could – the very person
of Jesus Christ and friendship with God the Father. Every
spiritual blessing in Christ had been given to Philemon.
He was spiritually-filthy rich.

It was this love of God for Jesus Christ and all the saints,
as verse 5 shows us, that was like a generator in his
heart, cranking out good deeds, acts of service, mercy,
hospitality, giving, and on and on. I want to be careful to
the depiction that is implied about Philemon in the letter
here, and not reflect him as some kind of giant or
superman of the faith. But the fact of the matter is that
judging by Paul’s prayer for Philemon, and judging by
the fact that Paul isn’t saying these things to sort of
schmooze or flatter Philemon to get what he wants, if
Philemon was able to impact Paul’s prayer life in this
way, it must have been because there was truly
something great and praiseworthy in Philemon’s life.

And there was. It was the love of God in Jesus Christ for
the saints! This is what this guy excelled at! He loved
loving Jesus and His people. And it seemed to show in
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almost everything he did. This then, is what excited Paul
so much and comforted him so much as he sat chained
to a Roman guard under house arrest in Rome. Like my
kids at bedtime asking me to read book after book after
book as they sit wide-eyed and excited about another
tale to tell, Paul’s heart was gleefully excited about
hearing story after story after story of Philemon’s love
and generosity. Each report filled him to overflowing
capacity with joy and comfort.

B. A life of love will refresh the hearts of the

saints around us.

In short, Paul derived so much joy and comfort from

Philemon’s love for one reason, a reason which is
summed up in the second half of verse 7. Philemon
excelled in refreshing the hearts of the saints around
him. And whenever Paul heard reports of Philemon’s
excellence in these areas, he was delightfully happy and
comfortingly encouraged.

The rest of the letter to Philemon rests on this last half of

the verse, beloved. Paul is writing to let Philemon know
just how Philemon’s acts of love toward Jesus and His
people have really and deeply affected him while he is in
prison. He is saying, “Philemon you have refreshed so
many in the fellowship there in Colosse. So now, I’d like
to ask that you do what you excel at doing by refreshing
my heart with a particular request I have.”

We find Paul asking that very thing in verse 20, where

he asks, “Refresh my heart in Christ.” The same
refreshing that Philemon had been able to affect in the
hearts of the saints there in Colosse, was the same kind
of refreshing Paul wanted to be affected with some 500
miles away in Rome.

So with all this talk about refreshing, what exactly did

Paul mean when he used that word?
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1. The meaning of the word ‘refreshed.’

There are two particular men who have defined this

word so well that I think their comments bear repeating,
for the Greek word carries great insight that is hidden
beneath the simple usage of this one English word.

The first is John Calvin who believed that the word is “an
expression used by Paul to mean, to give relief from
distress, or to aid the wretched in such a manner that,
having their minds composed, and being free from all
uneasiness and grief, they may find repose” (Calvin’s
Commentaries, Vol. 21. p. 352).

That’s a wonderful and amplified way of saying that

Philemon alleviated or eased the burdens of the saints
around him, whatever those burdens were, so that when
they were either around him or after they left his
presence, their hearts were well rested.

The second is F. F. Bruce. He wrote that the word refers

to the fact that “those who benefited by [his generosity]
were not made to feel embarrassed” (Colossians,
Philemon, & Ephesians, p. 210). That adds even more to
what I just described for you. So not only were their
hearts well rested, but they also felt free from
embarrassment when Philemon was so generous to
them.

Refreshment and Generosity

I think this is something which I would have loved to

have seen in action. Because my pride has gotten in the
way so often when God’s people have so generously
given to me. Those men in here this morning will
undoubtedly know what I’m talking about. There’s just
this sort of built-in feeling that I’ve got to make it on my
own without any help. And I hear that sort of thing from
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men around this little community all the time. Doing it
ourselves breeds pride, beloved.

So when others have been generous to me, years ago

my in-laws broke me of this. They have by far been the
most generous to my family in terms of financial
resources and other similar gifts such as clothes for the
kids, presents, etc. Early on in my relationship with
them I exhibited much pride about receiving so much
from them. And you know what my father-in-law told
me? “Rob, get over it!” My mother-in-law is a little
more subtle and probably has more of the tact of
Philemon. She knows I’ve gotten embarrassed before
and so she gives quietly and unassumingly, such that I
feel no embarrassment whatsoever now.

But my point is two-fold. First, don’t let pride get in the

way of God’s generosity to you through other saints.
The very essence of Christianity is loving through giving.
So if you can’t take a gift, you can’t be one of God’s
children! And if you’ve received His Son, then receive all
the other good things He wants to give to you through
others.

Second, when you do give to others, it is an art. We

don’t think like that often, do we? But there is an art to
giving anything in a way that refreshes and does not
embarrass. I don’t think I have developed that skill and
art yet, because I just do it, often times without thinking
about doing it in such a way as to refresh others. I just
pull out my wallet, or show up on their door step, or
whatever. I’m very clumsy in that regard and need to
mature much in this area.

But if we focus more and meditate on and pray towards

the kind of refreshing ability that Philemon had it will
greatly improve our giving lives so that when we do
express generosity (and hopefully that in and of itself
will become more habitual and regular for us) we will do
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it in such a way that people are left feeling at ease,
feeling as if a great burden has been lifted, feeling like
our hearts can rest.

2. The aim of our refreshing.

Now it is this very object, our heart, that is the aim of

our refreshing efforts, according to the verse. Paul says
that Philemon refreshed the ‘hearts’ of the saints. That
means first and foremost two things.

First, it speaks to his aim from the beginning was their

hearts and not simply their physical, material lives. If he
had done that then he would simply be a humanitarian,
because that’s what they do. They give to meet
external, visible needs. But the saint knows that those
material needs are connected to our hearts as well. We
can’t be so dualistic and separate what’s on the outside
from what’s on the inside. The needs that the saints and
others have are connected to real emotions and
emotional effects on the inside. That’s why the meeting
of a need in a saint’s life is like lifting a burden in their
heart. That’s what Philemon did, and that’s what
brought Paul so much joy and comfort.

Second, it speaks to his effect. When he had carried out

his act of love through generosity, in whatever way that
was, those who were on the receiving end of his love
were left refreshed to the core.

And this second element, in particular, is what I think

Paul means by the usage of the word ‘heart.’ The
Greek word is splagchna, which literally refers to the
inward parts of a person, or the ‘bowels’ to use an old
KJV term that some may understand better. In Acts
1:18, that same Greek word is used to describe the
intestines of Judas which sort of burst out of his belly
when he fell to the ground after hanging himself. But
that’s the literal meaning of the word.
 24

When the word is connected with affections, as it is here

in Philemon 7, things like love, mercy, pity and other
similar feelings are linked to the ‘heart’ or the ‘bowels.’
Now for a question? Do you think there’s any real
intended connection between the affections and the
intestines here? Or is Paul simply using a figure of
speech?

Well, experience, medical tests and results, and doctors

all tell us that emotions do in fact affect the internal
organs. Undoubtedly you’ve experienced that before.
When I have received news of great sadness (such as
the loss of my son), or deeply troubling news (such as
the lawsuit) I lost my appetite for days. Look at our kids.
When they get all excited and pumped up about
something their bladder seems moved to be emptied!

I have a particular condition known as “Irritable Bowel

Syndrome” or IBS which was diagnosed in the second
year of our marriage. It is a condition which means that
the large intestine contracts so much that intense,
burning, sharp pain comes like a sudden onslaught. And
do you know what the major cause was, and still is?
Stress. Stress affects me emotionally to the extend that
I can be doubled over in pain sometimes experiencing
IBS.

Well, what happened in Paul’s day and time is that

because of the connection between the emotions and
the inner organs, the word came to be used figuratively
by Paul and others “to indicate the spiritual center of the
emotions” (Hendrickson, Philippians, fn. 39, pg. 58).
This is what we would today call the heart or even
‘tender love.’

In Luke 1:78 the heart is described in terms of mercy.

Similar is 2 Corinthians 7:15 in which we see a picture of
our hearts going out to someone. That is, we are
 25
affected inwardly by the plight of someone else and that
feeling of our hearts going out, as we say, is many times
a sense of mercy that we want to extend to them or
shower upon them because of their pain or need or
burden. And there are several other usages of this
particular Greek word in the NT in this same way.

The summation of it is that when a saint had a need or

burden, or was experiencing pain or suffering or sorrow
or grief, Philemon’s love for Christ showed through to a
love for that saint which enabled him to generously
relieve that burden in some way. And the relief that his
generosity brought was not just financial, but it was
emotional and spiritual. In other words, Philemon was a
minister to the whole person and not just to their budget
or home or family. He was after their heart, primarily.

I think this is where we can learn from Philemon: we

need to learn how to give in such a way that it refreshes
the hearts of others, that it relieves and comforts them
inwardly. Do you make it your aim to refresh the hearts
of the saints, and in what ways do you do that now?
Consider how you might change or do things differently
in the future and prepare for that now.

Transition

Consider this also. Does what you consider to be

refreshment enable others to derive joy and comfort
from watching you? That’s the connection we see here
in verse 7 for Paul, isn’t it? Philemon refreshed the
hearts of the saints, and Paul in turn got a lot of joy,
happiness, delight, consolation, comfort, and
encouragement from it, didn’t he? So I derive from that
that our love has not only got to refresh others in a way
that matters most, and where it matters most. But our
love has also got to refresh in a way that gives comfort
and joy to others.
 26
That means our efforts at refreshing others have got to
be authentic, first and foremost. We’ve got to really and
truly care for the saints. I mean we’ve really got to love
them in our heart of hearts and not just seem the as
people to hang out with on Sundays. For Paul, as well as
for Philemon, the saints were his very heart. He thought
about them all the time and he wasn’t afraid to tell
them. He wasn’t afraid to let his love for them show in
public. He hung his feelings for them on his sleeve, if
you get my meaning.

Second, our efforts at refreshing have got to be visible.

We are to let our light shine before men, so that they
may see our good works, and glorify God in heaven. We
can’t do this work in secret, because it is supposed to
have an intended effect on others. That’s part of what
makes the community grow closer with each other and
rejoice with each other and weep with each other.

Third, it’s got to be centered in love. That is, we’ve got

to do it because we love them and because God has
loved us in Christ Jesus. Otherwise, our refreshing
efforts will be centered in something else, like ourselves,
what we can gain from it, how it will make us feel when
we minister to them, etc. It’s not about us. For
Philemon in verse 5 it was about loving Jesus and loving
the saints.

And this last point brings me to the last words I have for
you this morning.

Applications

1. This whole thing is about being ‘other’s-

minded.’

First, all of these points and word meanings in this verse

link us to the larger section of verses 4-7 in which we
find one major theme coming to mind. Yes, it is love, as
 27
I showed you last week. But that’s not my point here.
My point here is how love is reflected. In short, love is
‘other’s-minded.’

Paul and Philemon both were basically ‘other’s-minded.’

That is, they seemed to think much more about others
than they did themselves. And they seemed to think
much more about the saints than they did themselves.

According to verse 7, we get a glimpse of a man, Paul

that is, who derived his inner well being – his joy and
comfort – from how others excelled in Jesus Christ. He
was so wrapped up with their successes, their victories,
their testimonies, and their love that his emotional well-
being seemed inseparably tied to all of these things.

I think this, more than any other characteristic, is the

number one reflection for any pastor. I want to grow
more in this area. But as it stands right now, I can
honestly say that you’re spiritual walk with Christ is my
emotional barometer. Am I saying that I’m insecure?
Perhaps. I think I am and I think all of us are to a large
degree. But I feel most secure when I see you all doing
great things for God, doing well in your marriages, in
your parenting, in your private life with God. A pastor is
just wired this way by God and that’s the way it is.

John the Baptist was sort of a pastor, wasn’t he? He

shepherded people toward the Messiah, just like I have
to do. I love John 3:29-30 where John gives his
testimony. He has seen the Messiah face to face and
has come to the realization that his life’s purpose is now
complete. Christ has come and John has faithfully led
the way. He says in those two verses something
remarkable and wonderful, something that fills my heart
to the brim!

“The one who has the bride is the bridegroom. The

friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him,
 28
rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice. Therefore
this joy of mine is now complete. He must increase, but
I must decrease.”

Isn’t that beautiful! John’s joy was now complete, filled

to capacity, unable to be furthered, because those who
had followed him were now following Jesus. His inner life
was connected to their following of Jesus Christ.

We find this account in John’s gospel, not by accident.

The apostle John himself reflected this way of pastoring.
In each of his three smaller epistles we find statements
to a similar effect. In 1 John 1:4, John connects his joy
with whether or not his flock is in fellowship with the
Father and the Son, and with whether or not they are
walking faithfully in that fellowship (1:5-2:2). In 2 John
4, he writes to ‘the elect lady’ (in verse 1) that he rejoice
greatly to find some of her children walking in the truth.
So again, his joy is connected to their walking in the
truth. Indeed in 3 John 3 he says as much, doesn’t he?
He writes, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my
children are walking in the truth.” So again and again,
John’s joy as a pastor, and as a believer, his joy (which
as a part of his heart, his inner, emotional, affectional
being) was inseparably connected to the success of the
saints in their walk with God.

I think Calvin sums it all up so nicely when he writes that

Paul’s love was singular, that is focused solely on the
saints. He writes, “This was singular love, to feel so
much joy on account of the benefit received by others”
(Vol. 21, p. 351). Isn’t that great!

Now listen to John Chrysostom. Speaking of the rest of

the saints, he writes, “For they are members of us. If
then there ought to be such an agreement, that in the
refreshing of any others who are in affliction, though we
obtain nothing, we should be delighted on their account,
 29
as if it were one body that was benefited” (Philemon,
Homily II).

That captures it right there for me! We are one body

and so we ought to feel like one body, bearing burdens,
feeling pain, rejoicing with those who rejoice, weeping
with those who weep. This is what Paul described in 1
Corinthians 12: 25, “that the members may have the
same care for one another.”

So much of Paul’s joy came from how others were

benefited by his ministry! This is selflessness in action
here! He didn’t care about how it affected him, or made
him feel, or how he benefited. He only cared about
others!

Paul’s life, in particular, seems to reflect this over and

again throughout his works, when you read him enough.
Look at Philippians 2:2, if you will. He writes there,
“complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the
same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” See
the connection there? Their obedience and maturity in
these areas has a huge effect on his personal joy. It is
incomplete as Paul writes to the Philippians. He can
have yet greater joy, and that’s what he wants. But he
gets it because he sees their success and maturity. And
he sees their maturity and success because he watches
for it. And he watches for it because he loves others so
much. He is an other’s-minded individual.

And that’s just the very thing he emphasizes in the two

verses that follow, right? “Do nothing from rivalry or
conceit, but in humility count others more significant
than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his
own interests, but also to the interests of others.” And
what is the grounds for this sort of living, this sort of
‘others’-mindedness’? “Have this mind among
yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus.” Jesus Christ
 30
had this mind about Him. He was ‘other’s minded’ as
the text goes on to say.

2. Seek to be refreshed by the ‘other’s-

mindedness’ of Christ’s love for you.

And this brings me to the second point of application this

morning. Seek to be refreshed in the deepest part of
your soul in Christ Jesus through what He has done for
you. His ‘other’s-mindedness’ cannot help but rub off on
you. And it will rub off in the same way. As you
meditate on how unbelievably gracious and merciful God
has been to you by killing His own Son so that He could
forgive your sins, an ‘other’s-mindset’ will overcome
you.

You can only be refreshed at the core of your being, at

the deepest level of your soul, in your emotions and
affections, by the One who can only satisfy you and
refresh you at that level. Listen to how Puritan pastor
Richard Sibbes described this in his work, “The Glorious
Feast of the Gospel” (Works, Vol. 2) He wrote,

“He, if he pleaseth, can take away the

burden…and supply it, instead thereof, with
new and solid comforts. He knoweth all the
windings and turnings of the soul, where all
the pain and grief lieth; and he cannot but
know it, because he only is above the soul.
He is therefore the fittest to make the soul a
feast. He only can do it, and he will do it”
(p. 447).

The emotions were made by God chiefly to be spent and

utilized upon Him. Happiness and delight and comfort
are emotions chiefly to be experienced by what God has
done for you and what He is doing for you now and what
He will do for you in the future. He made those inner
parts of your life primarily so that you could experience
 31
Him and His love for you. Did you know that? Have you
ever thought about that before?

That’s why nothing else satisfies and refreshes like the

love of Christ. That’s why burdens and griefs and pains
and sorrows can’t be consoled by money, drugs, alcohol,
sex, friends or work. That’s why joy, happiness, delight
and ecstasy can’t be properly experienced or enjoyed by
any of these things either. That part of you, your heart,
your bowels, your affections, those are the parts of you
that make up that ‘God-shaped hole inside of you,’ a
phrase which you have undoubtedly heard used before.

Now I bring that up first because that’s what had to have

happened to Philemon first before he could be the
refreshment and source of joy and comfort that he was
for so many saints. Those acts of love and generosity he
performed for the saints came from somewhere. But it
didn’t come from some humanitarian desire. No the
consistency of it and size of it all clearly point to the
source which itself reflects the consistency and size of
the love of God in Christ.

In other words, beloved, the gospel had so penetrated

and saturated Philemon’s ‘heart’ and inner life, that he
just ‘oozed’ these acts of love and generosity toward the
saints. He simply couldn’t help himself! He is a true and
living color reflection of just how powerfully the love of
God in Christ can work in a person’s heart, to the point
where he himself is filled with Jesus, and everyone else
around him is also comforted, delighted, and refreshed
in the deepest ways possible.

That’s the kind of pastor I want to be to you all. That’s

the way I want you all to be toward me. I want us to
grow together in this incredible love which Philemon
showed, a love which I think we have yet to truly
experience. And that kind of love will only come when
 32
we drink deeply and regularly from the fountains of
God’s grace in Jesus Christ. Amen.