Running Head: PERSONAL IDENTITY ESSAY

Personal Identity Essay

Shane Young
Kent State University

PERSONAL IDENTITY ESSAY

Who am I? This is one of the most perplexing questions that humans

have to grapple with. Is the answer simply I am Shane Young? Does my
astrological association as a Capricorn answer this question at all? Or is it
deeper than that? This course is demonstrating that these seemingly simple
three words are in fact a loaded question. Based on my answer to this
question I can be on the receiving end of or excluded from privilege. The
game is rigged.
I am white, heterosexual male. These parts of my identity affect me in
ways that I have not actively recognized throughout my entire life. Now that I
have been introduced to the concept of privilege I am recognizing that my
entire life has been affected by it. Because of these groups I ascribe to I am
given an advantage over others that is ingrained into the fabric of our
American society. Because I am white I have never truly had to give thought
to being white. One of Johnsons (2006) many examples of white privilege is
Whites dont have to deal with an endless and exhausting stream of
attention to their race. They can simply take their race for granted as
unremarkable to the extent of experiencing themselves as not even having a
race (p. 27). Johnsons point explains my previous perception of me being
white perfectly. I was never required to consider my race at all because I am
a recipient of privilege. Being in this class, however, has made me more
attuned to my whiteness. I begin to question whether the positive results of
unsavory situations are due to my being perceived as white. Did this end
well for me because I am white is a question I regularly ask myself. It pains
me that it is sometimes the case. Or it is more than sometimes, but because

PERSONAL IDENTITY ESSAY

I am a part of this privileged group I do not realize the extent of my white

privilege.
When it comes to me being a male, I am most susceptible to the
socialized notions of what that means. For instance, I have a rather large
beard, a time-tested symbol of manhood all around. I partially do it because I
am lazy and refuse to spend money on razors, but it also allows me to claim
myself as a man and demonstrates masculinity in a highly physical way. Why
do I choose this option? I believe there is some latent part of me that fears
being associated as feminine because that would result in different
negative treatment because I no longer belonged to the category of men
and thus would inadvertently lose a portion of the privilege of being a man
(Johnson, 2006, p. 35).
My sexuality is something I have nearly always known since
kindergarten when I first laid eyes on a particular girl. I did question my
sexuality once, but after some time the feeling faded and I became more
assured of my heterosexuality. Occasionally, I ponder what the rest of my
high school experience might have been like if that feeling did not fade. I
recall my high schools general attitude was heteronormative, but with cruel
treatment and bullying of those of differing sexual orientations, especially
bisexuality. What if I was bisexual? What negative effects would be the result
of the constant bullying that I would likely have experienced? What would it
be like knowing that I could not take a person that I loved to my senior
homecoming or my junior prom? It would be devastating to be in that
position, watching as others were able to take their loved ones to these

PERSONAL IDENTITY ESSAY

important (at that point in my life) events whereas I was not permitted to do
so. This type of reflection has made me cognizant of the paradoxical
experience of being privileged without feeling privileged (Johnson, 2006, p.
35). This heterosexual privilege I experienced is not viewed as privilege. It is
viewed as normal and therein is the problem: systematic oppression is
normal.
I have experienced many types of privilege in my life, but in some
cases I fall on a different area of the spectrum. I am from a single mother
working class family. Because I am working class I have experienced feelings
of worthlessness because I was unable to attend functions or possess certain
items due to their cost. I experienced things differently than my peers
because I was unable to procure spending money and it made me feel angry
at my status in the working class. It was frustrating for my young mind to
process. Even today, I am still witnessing the effects of my working class
background today specifically when it comes to dining. I am not particularly
well versed in many of the diners, eateries, or restaurants that many other
persons my age have been to. When I admit that I have never been to a
place before, an incredulous Are you serious!? is the first reaction. This
reaction, a regular occurrence since I moved to Cleveland, still makes me
feel slightly embarrassed. I am embarrassed and slightly ashamed of my
background of a single mother working class family.
Who am I? I am Shane Young and I am comprised of many parts. These
components of my identity have shaped the individual that I have become.
Some components of my identity are that I am a white, heterosexual, male.

PERSONAL IDENTITY ESSAY

These several experiences have exposed me, without my knowledge, to

privilege. I gained benefit from this triad and it has given me advantages
over persons of different races, sexes, and sexual orientations. Another
component is my economic origin from a single mother working family
exposing me to guilt, shame, and embarrassment from not being in a better
economic status. These and many more varying components all combine in
some inexplicable method to produce me. As I have deconstructed portions
of my identity to their basic parts and reformed them throughout this class
and this paper, I recognize that I have privilege and I am obligated to make
the problem of privilege mine and I will do something about it (Johnson,
2006, p. 8).

References
Johnson, A. (2006). Privilege, power and difference, 2nd ed. New York:
McGraw Hill.