Eneagrama

ONES seek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and
everyone and everything around them.

BASIC CONCERN: What is right or wrong, correct or incorrect?
TWOS want to be liked, try to meet the needs of others, and attempt to
orchestrate the people and events in their lives.
BASIC CONCERN: Am I needed? Will others like me?
Ones and Twos can appear similar because both have sets of rules that they expect
others to adhere to, then become upset and reactive when others do not follow
these. However, on closer examination, Ones have far more rules and expectations
than do Twos, and their expectations cover a wider array of behaviors. For
example, Ones often have rules governing work style, work product, how things
should be organized, how people should behave in a variety of situations, dress
codes that define what is appropriate and inappropriate attire in a variety of
circumstances, and more. The Twos rules are far more focused on interpersonal
relationships and how people should treat one another. Although Ones and Twos
can both be self-critical and critical of others, most Ones are more consistently selfcritical than Twos as well as more overtly judgmental of others. For example, the
Ones inner critic or judge is activated eighty to ninety percent of the time or
more, whereas the Twos criticism of self and others is less frequent and more
activated by highly distressing events.
Some may confuse Ones and Twos because both are dutiful and want to perceive
themselves and have others view them as good and responsible. However,
Ones and Twos have very different meanings for these words. Ones believe they
are good and, therefore, valued if they do everything right and make few mistakes,
and responsible means they keep their commitments, do their work well, deliver it
on time, and are punctual. Twos believe they are good and, therefore, valued, if
they are thoughtful, considerate, and focused on others, and responsible means
they are always available when others are in need and that they dont disappoint
the people in their lives.
Ones and Two are markedly different in many ways. For example, Ones speak
definitively, offer opinions, judgments, and ideas, and use language that suggests
they are evaluating people and situations for example, Ones use words such
as should, ought, right, wrong, and appropriatewith great frequency. Twos, by
contrast, speak with a softer tone of voice, ask questions of others to engage them
and draw them in conversation, offer advice frequently, and focus on others in a
way that makes people feel important. While some Ones can be very warm, they
are rarely as consistently warm and empathic as Twos.
A helpful way to understand the distinction between Ones and Twos is that Ones
look internally to determine whether or not they have done a good job, made a
mistake, or were effective, while Twos are more highly affected by how others
perceive them than by how they view themselves. In other words, Twos have a
strong inclination to perceive themselves through the eyes of other people rather
than having a strong interior sense of how valuable they are and how well they did
something. While they may not directly solicit the opinions of others regarding the
merit of their work or behavior, Twos pay greater attention to nonverbal cues and
interpersonal behavior and are far more affected by the positive and negative
reactions of other people.
THREES organize their lives to achieve specific goals and to appear successful in
order to gain the respect and admiration of others.
BASIC CONCERN: How can I gain the respect and esteem of others?
Ones and Threes have some strong similarities. Both have a deep desire to excel,
have a need both to perceive themselves and to have others view them as highly
competent individuals, and are extremely task-focused. However, the Ones drive
to excel comes from an internal sense of satisfaction that they have accomplished
a specific task to the very best of their ability; Ones seek self-respect through their
accomplishments by using their own internal standards to make this determination.
By contrast, Threes are driven by a need to feel they have succeeded in the eyes
of others around them, seeking the respect and admiration of other people, often
using external factors as their primary referents for example, how important
people respond to them, how they compare to their mental ideal (usually based on
a real or imagined role model) of how they should be, who their friends are, and/or
their salaries, pay raises, and office trappings.
Similarly, although both Ones and Threes have a deeply felt need to feel and
appear competent, Ones use their own view of their competence as a guide,
whereas Threes are far more focused on whether others respond to them in this
way. Finally, both Ones and Threes emphasize tasks over relationships which is
not to say that either ignores people and individuals of both Enneagram styles
focus on their tasks then organize the work accordingly. However, the Threes tasks
are typically activities they need to complete as efficiently as possible so they can
quickly move on in pursuit of their goals, while Ones like to organize their work at a
highly refined level of detail; structuring work with great precision gives them
pleasure and satisfaction. Ones may also procrastinate for fear of making a
mistake, where Threes tend to want to find the fastest, most efficient path to the
goal and do not place such emphasis on the possibility of making a mistake.
The difference between Ones and Threes is most obvious in the way each defines
quality. While both would say they are quality oriented, Ones define quality as
doing the best job they are capable of doing with no errors or mistakes, if humanly
possible. Threes define quality as meeting customer expectations, then going
beyond that so that the customer is more than satisfied. However, from the Three
point of view, doing every project and task as perfectly as possible is a poor use of
time and resources and good enough plus some is good enough. From the One
perspective, if there are mistakes or they know it could have been better, even if
the customer is not aware of this or concerned about it, quality has not been
achieved. For Ones, good enough is rarely good enough.
Finally, there is a subtype of Three self-preservation Three that can be confused
with Enneagram Ones. Self-preservation subtype Threes try to create an image of
being the perfect model of whatever role they play for example, the perfect wife,
parent, coworker, or boss. They want to be seen as good at whatever they do,
both in terms of accomplishments and being morally good, and they try to behave
in a way that matches their ideal of someone in a similar role who does things the
right way. On the surface, self-preservation Threes can appear like Ones
especially the social subtype One in that they endeavor to model correct
behavior. However, their drives or motivations are entirely different. Threes use
others the audience as their frame of reference for what they strive to
achieve, while Ones use their own internal standards in determining what they
should do.
FOURS desire deep connections with their inner worlds and with other people, and
they feel most alive when authentically expressing their feelings.
BASIC CONCERN: Will I be rejected or feel deficient? Can I express myself?
Ones and Fours can appear similar because both take work tasks seriously and
want to do the best job they can. However, Ones focus more on the structure,
process, and details of completing tasks, while Fours focus more on relationships,
people, and their own creative expression. Both Ones and Fours are idealistic and
appreciate quality, but Ones focus most on making things as perfect as they can be
according to their own internal standards and base their judgments on their
internal, body-based sense and strong opinions of how things should be. Fours
value creativity, authenticity, and aesthetics beyond a specific and precise idea or
definition of perfection and are far more conscious of how things look to other
people or what feels right to them from an emotional perspective.
Both Ones and Fours can be self-critical, but the Ones inner critic provides a
running commentary on how everything could have been done more perfectly; the
Fours self-criticism comes from a deeper sense of something being fundamentally
flawed or wrong within them. Ones take note of grammatical errors or other
specific elements that seem out of alignment or less than ideal, often with little or
no emotional reaction other than irritation, whereas Fours frequently notice what is
missing in a given situation and in themselves in a much broader, less specific
sense and may have deep feeling reactions for example, anger, pain, or angst
to what they see as absent or not good enough.
Ones and Fours also differ from one another in several ways. Fours focus on other
people, paying a great deal of attention to interpersonal interactions on an
emotional level and how much they feel connected or disconnected to the people
around them. Ones are more likely to focus on the structure of work relationships
or the structure of work-related tasks.
Ones often see things in black and white for example, thinking there is one right
way to approach a task while Fours approach situations with more nuance,
creativity, and self-expression and, as a result, are more likely to see many ways to
approach tasks and projects. While individuals of both styles want to perform at a
high-level and may be perfectionistic in what they do, the Ones priorities lie in
following the rules and structure and making something as good as it can possibly
be according to the Ones standards. Fours focus more on creativity, authentic selfexpression, and whether others perceive them as special and unique.
In terms of emotional tone, Ones and Fours can appear quite different to an outside
observer. Ones seem more reserved and self-controlled, although they do become
annoyed and irritated when others dont follow the rules or perform up to the Ones
standards and expectations. Fours, on the other hand, tend to be more emotional
with far more varied moods some of which are unpredictable and are generally
empathic, having an understanding and compassion for the range of feelings that
they believe are part of the human condition. As a result of these differences in
emotional tone, Ones tend to be more controlled, straightforward, concise, and
precise, while Fours can be dramatic, emotionally expressive, and far less
predictable in their communications with others.
FIVES thirst for information and knowledge and use emotional detachment as a
way of keeping involvement with others to a minimum.
BASIC CONCERN: Will demands be made on me for my time, energy, and
resources?
Enneagram styles One and Five can appear very similar because they both tend to
be reserved, logical, and task-focused, and both styles may appear serious and
withdrawn. Ones and Fives both value independence, self-reliance, and selfsufficiency, although Fives generally require more privacy than Ones. Both seek
knowledge; Fives do so because the acquisition of knowledge makes them feel
both more potent and in control of situations, while Ones pursue knowledge in
order to be more competent and correct. Both can appear intellectual and
knowledgeable, and they often excel at logical, objective analysis. Ones strive for
objectivity because this helps them be more correct, act more responsibly, and
make fewer mistakes; Fives strive for objectivity because they like to analyze
situations from a detached perspective and want to understand how everything fits
and works together as a system. Both understand boundaries and the need for
them, although Fives have much stronger and clearer boundaries than Ones. In
addition, both Ones and Fives are diligent and practical, with Ones being more
rules-based and Fives being more appreciative of simplicity and resource
conservation, and both styles can be judgmental, applying their own internal
standards when judging their own or others work.
While Ones and Fives share some characteristics, the two styles also have some
fundamental differences. While Fives can be self-critical, Ones are much more so,
having an inner critic commenting on almost everything the One says and does.
Ones also tend to be more judgmental of others than Fives, and they can be openly
angry or irritated when others do not follow the rules or do not do things the right
way that is, according to the Ones sense of the right way to act. Although neither
style feels comfortable sharing feelings publically and both Ones and Fives tend to
hold back or control their emotional responses, Ones feelings tend to show
externally more than Fives, who almost always maintain a calm reserve, even in
times of stress. Ones experience anger fairly regularly, and although they try to
restrain its outward expression, the Ones anger often manifests as irritation,
annoyance, or frustration, particularly when people do not perform as the One
thinks they should. On the other hand, Fives are more likely to keep their thoughts,
and especially their feelings, to themselves; Fives automatically detach from
feelings as they are occurring, and it is very rare for them to share their emotions
with others, particularly in the work setting.
SIXES have insightful minds, are prone to worry, and create worst-case scenarios
to help themselves feel prepared in case something goes wrong.
BASIC CONCERN: What could go wrong here? Whom can I trust? Am I making the
best decisions?
Ones and Sixes share several common traits. Both Ones and Sixes excel at
analytical thinking, and both worry and become concerned about the possibility of
something going wrong. However, Ones feel anxious about not being perfect, while
Sixes experience anxiety related to all the different things that could potentially
going wrong. In response to their worry, Ones seek perfection and avoid mistakes
while Sixes anticipate and imagine worst-case scenarios so they can create
contingency plans as a way of proactively preparing for the wide variety of
problems that could possibly occur. Although phobic Sixes (the more overtly fearful
Sixes) exhibit more worst-case scenario planning than do counterphobic Sixes
(Sixes who act courageous as a way to prove they are not afraid), counterphobic
Sixes still engage in rapid problem-oriented scenario development and contingency
planning.
Both Ones and Sixes can be uncomfortable with success, even as they desire it.
Both styles can also create problems for themselves related to completing tasks
and moving toward success; Ones often believe that nothing is never perfect
enough and constantly criticize themselves, and Sixes continually doubt and
question themselves, believing that becoming successful will make them a target
of attack. Individuals of both styles also tend to be activists in support of social
causes they care about, but they do it for different reasons. Ones become activists
because they feel responsible for making the world a more perfect place while
Sixes support social causes because they are sensitive to people in authority
positions exercising power over others in unjust or unfair ways.
Ones and Sixes also differ in several ways. Ones worry about making mistakes and
being wrong according to their own internal standards, while Sixes worry most
about eternal danger and threats of all kinds. Ones are judgmental and critical of
themselves and others particularly when a mistake is made and Sixes are more
doubtful than judgmental, doubting themselves and others on a highly consistent
basis as a way to avoid danger and to find some degree of certainty and
reassurance that everything will be okay. Both Ones and Sixes can procrastinate,
but they do it for different reasons: Ones delay doing something fear making a
mistake, always wanting more time to make it more perfect; Sixes procrastinate as
a result of their continual doubting of self and others, making it hard for them to
know what to do and how best to move forward.
A particularly stark contrast between Ones and Sixes is their relationship to
authority. In general, Ones tend to respect and obey authority, while Sixes tend to
be suspicious of authority and even rebel against it. Ones follow the rules, while
Sixes question them. Ones and Sixes also differ with respect to trusting others.
Ones tend to trust people, giving them the benefit of the doubt unless they break
the rules or engage in some other behavior that they judge as bad or wrong. Sixes,
by contrast, mistrust others initially that is, until Sixes have observed the other
person enough to feel satisfied that this person means them no harm. After a
person has earned their trust, Sixes remain loyal and supportive.
Finally, another distinction can be made between the self-preservation subtype One
and the phobic Six. Self-preservation Ones and phobic Sixes can be look-alikes
because both worry a great deal and have a high degree of anxiety, although their
anxiety comes from different sources. Self-preservation Ones worry because they
believe that their security depends upon getting everything right. They are the true
perfectionists, and they sense that if they dont take the right action and do
everything perfectly, something bad will happen. The phobic Sixes worry is not
centered on doing things perfectly or seeing the world in terms of right and wrong
and wanting to get it right; they worry as a way of detecting signs of danger in the
outside world, believing that anticipating, preparing, and planning for what could
go wrong will make them feel secure.
SEVENS crave the stimulation of new ideas, people, and experiences, avoid pain,
and create elaborate future plans to keep their options open.
BASIC CONCERN: What is exciting? Do I feel constrained? Can I avoid pain?
Ones and Sevens are both quality oriented, idealistic, and visionary. Ones focus
their attention to attaining the highest standards in work and other aspects of their
lives and want things to be perfect, working hard to make everything fit their
internally generated, idealized sense of perfection. Sevens seek the best possible
experience in everything they do, particularly in their recreational pursuits, and are
being supremely optimistic and positive, especially about future options and plans.
Both Ones and Sevens have a great deal of energy; Ones apply their energy
diligently to everything they do, while Sevens dedicate themselves only to the
activities that keep them stimulated and interested. Both Enneagram styles can
also be perfectionistic, intellectual, and analytical and they like to figure things out
and solve problems quickly. Ones are generally more consistently concerned with
perfection and tend to approach problem solving with more rigor and patience than
do Sevens, who let go of their perfectionism when an activity or task becomes too
onerous for example, too much work is involved, too many obstacles appear, or
the task becomes routine and boring. Finally, both Ones and Sevens are sensitive
to criticism, although Ones are more likely to express their responses with direct
comments, and Sevens are more likely to defuse the criticism through humor or
rationalization.
Ones and Sevens also have striking differences. For Ones, work almost always
takes precedence over play; for Sevens, planning for play and engaging in
pleasurable activities is often more important to them than tasks. Although many
Sevens are highly dedicated to their work, they may be even more dedicated to
their non-work pursuits or they may try to transform their work activities into fun.
Ones are idealistic, but they are not particularly optimistic for example, they
continuously find errors as a means for improvement. Sevens, by contrast, are
relentlessly optimistic unless they are distressed. Because Ones naturally pay
attention to errors that need correcting, they can seem to Sevens to focus too
much on the negative. On the other hand, the Sevens continuous optimism and
focus on the positive can seem unrealistic and annoying to many Ones.
Ones like to structure their work to work in environments that have clear rules and
prescribed limits, while Sevens dislike feeling constrained under all circumstances
and may have a difficult time with rules and processes that feel limiting. For
example, Sevens do not like clear authority hierarchies because Sevens believe
everyone is equal; this belief equalizes or neutralizes the authority of their bosses
who have the potential to limit the Sevens freedom. Ones, however, work well and
even flourish within defined authority structures. Further, Ones often excel at
managing the details of projects and tasks, while Sevens can find this kind of work
tedious.
Ones and Sevens also differ in their relationships with others. Although Ones can
be critical and inflexible, they are also so strongly committed to self-improvement
that, in many cases, they will listen to negative feedback, try to understand it, and
then dedicate themselves to both working on the issues raised and preserving the
relationship with the person offering the feedback. Sevens bring an abundance of
positive energy, engagement, and fun to their relationships, but their sensitivity to
criticism and avoidance of pain make it very challenging for them to (1) respond
positively to negative feedback, (2) discuss difficult issues that may need to be
addressed, or (3) stay engaged in relationships that cause them discomfort.
EIGHTS pursue the truth, like to keep situations under control, want to make
important things happen, and try to hide their vulnerability.
BASIC CONCERN: Is everything under control in an effective and just way?
Ones and Eights look similar in some respects because both are high-energy,
hardworking, and like to establish control and order, and they tend to engage in
black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking. Both get angry, but they experience and
express their anger in very different ways. Ones try to hold back their anger
because they believe that showing anger is wrong. At the same time, it is hard for
Ones to completely shut off their reactions, and their anger tends to show anyway,
albeit in a milder form than they actually feel for example, through lower
intensity responses such as resentment, irritation, and annoyance. Eights, on the
other hand, feel and express anger more readily, and they do not believe it is
wrong to be angry. Angry Eight leave no ambiguity regarding how they feel. They
may say something immediately and intensely or become stony silent. When Ones
get angry, it is usually when people break the rules or engage in bad behavior,
while Eights become angry for a wider range of reasons for example, being lied
to, someone not living up to his or her potential, not being told something
important, and more.
Both Ones and Eights like to be in control but Ones control by self-control as well as
by relying on defined rules, structure, and standards, while Eights exercise power
and control in more direct ways. For example, Eights use simple yet emphatic
declarative sentences, take charge and tell others what to do, and appear nonvulnerable, if not invulnerable. Ones and Eights are also concerned about justice
and fairness and can work hard in support of a cause they believe in, and both
styles frequently overwork, seriously neglecting their own needs in the process.
There are some key areas that clearly differentiate Ones from Eights. Eights think
in terms of the big picture, enjoy high-level strategic work, and dislike having to
deal with details (even though some Eights are good at precision work). Ones relish
hands-on experience and the satisfaction of completing concrete tasks. When
engaged in a task, Ones emphasize achieving perfection, exerting a great deal of
effort to make the work as good as it can possibly be. Eights, by contrast, want
action to happen fast and can be satisfied with something that is good enough,
as long as the impact is strong. When communicating with others, Ones tend to be
polite and restrained even when upset, and use words likeshould and ought. Eights,
by contrast, can be direct, abrupt, intimidating, and even profane and use
commanding words like will and have to.
Eights tend to act on their impulses, can be excessive, and strongly dislike feeling
inhibited, and they often move into action quickly, feeling much freer to exercise
their power and exert their will without analyzing themselves or entertaining
critical thoughts about their intentions. Ones tend to over-control their impulses
and delay pleasurable activities, being more focused on exhibiting the correct
behavior than on indulging themselves. Although Eights can at times be very hard
on themselves, they do not criticize themselves as excessively or continuously as
Ones, who are extremely self-critical most of the time.
Ones and Eights also have very different relationships to authority and authority
figures. Ones typically observe and obey authority figures, while Eights usually
presume they are the authority and do not like being told what to do by others,
often rebelling against authority under a variety of circumstances. For example,
when Eights do not think the authority figure knows what he or she is doing, they
take charge. When they believe an authority is abusing power, Eights become
confrontational and aggressive.
NINES seek peace, harmony, and positive mutual regard and dislike conflict,
tension, rudeness, and ill will.
BASIC CONCERN: Is everyone being heard, including me?
Ones and Nines share several characteristics. Both appreciate structure and
process in the work setting, with Ones emphasizing structure and Nines preferring
process. They make good mediators, Nines because they easily see many sides of
an issue and feel motivated to create harmony and Ones because they often have
a high degree of integrity and tend to be objective and discerning judges. Both can
have difficultly noticing and then asserting their own deeper desires because they
are prone to denying their own needs, particularly when overworked. In addition,
both can be perfectionistic, with Ones usually more so than Nines, and they
normally work well within and respect the existing authority structure. Nines,
however, will sometimes rebel in subtle, passive ways if they feel controlled and
Ones may rebel as a way to reform and perfect the organization.
Many differences also exist Ones and Nines. Ones have strong opinions that they
frequently vocalize, often thinking in black and white while also being convinced
that they know the one right way to do something. Nines, who see many shades of
grey in any issue or situation, often have difficulty identifying their own opinions,
which is a consequence of their being so attuned to other peoples varied
perspectives. When discussing issues with others, Nines rarely assert their position
early on, while Ones often take a strong position initially and assume that theirs is
the only correct point of view.
Neither Ones nor Nines like conflict that involves them directly and try to avoid it if
they can. Nines dislike conflict far more than Ones, who will engage in arguments
when they feel strongly about something or when they feel compelled to enforce
the rules. The Nines aversion to conflict is foundational to their personality that
is, conflict threatens the harmony and well being they seek so fervently.
When accomplishing tasks, Ones like to do things their way and are far more
directive than Nines, and focus their efforts to make everything as perfect as
possible and relying on their own internal standards as their guide. Nines, by
contrast, adapt to others and are more likely to go along with someone elses plan
or agenda than to assert their own. Nines are far more oriented to what other
people think and want and therefore seek consensus, working collaboratively with
others to decide what the standards and plan should be. Ones are very observant
of the rules wanting everyone to follow the rules and they will confront those
who do not. Nines are more easygoing, tend to go with the flow, and are much less
likely to confront rule violations directly; in the Nines mind, it is not worth it, and
they do not want to create tension or conflict.
Ones and Nines also have very different interpersonal styles. Ones usually appear
responsible, polite, well mannered, intense, and highly focused but they can also
seem uptight, judgmental, and inflexible. Nines usually appear peaceful, mellow,
friendly, relaxed, and tolerant, but they can also seem vague, unassertive, and low
energy.
On the surface, Twos and Threes can appear very much alike. Both attempt to
manage their image and self-presentation in order to please or attract others and
tend to be competent and energetic, although Threes place more emphasis than
Twos on appearing competent and tend to be more consistently energetic. Twos
and Threes pay a great deal of attention to creating an impression that they
believe matches what others value; Twos, however, focus more on meeting others
needs and appearing friendly, likable, and thoughtful, while Threes focus more on
achieving goals and appearing confident and successful in order to win the
admiration and respect of others. Both are driven to be productive and also desire
the approval of others. Twos, however, are more relationship-oriented and are
motivated by earning others affection and being considered indispensable. Being
more task-oriented, Threes are motivated by the good feeling they get when they
reach a goal and the satisfaction that comes with appearing successful in the eyes
of others.
Both Twos and Threes can be confused about who they really are deep inside that
is, who or what is their true self because they spend so much energy creating
and maintaining an image designed to elicit a positive response from others. As a
result of this other-directed focus, it can be difficult for Two and Three individuals to
have a clear sense of who they really are. Related to this, both styles tend to avoid
or defer their own emotional reactions: Threes do so because feelings can get in
the way of accomplishing tasks, and Twos believe that feelings particularly
negative ones can get in the way of forging positive connections with other
people.
Despite their many shared characteristics, Twos and Threes also differ in significant
ways. While both styles repress or submerge their feelings, Twos do this less
completely and tend to feel and express more emotions more frequently than
Threes. While Threes can be very competitive and see winning as important, Twos
are less oriented to competition, believing that aligning themselves with others is
more important than coming out on top. Although both can become angry at times,
Twos tend to express anger when their unacknowledged needs are not met or
when they feel unappreciated, and Threes become angry when someone puts an
obstacle between them and their goal.
At work, Threes can emphasize work to such a degree that they become
workaholics. They pay a great deal of attention to goals and performance and, as a
result, become highly focused on efficiency and the creation of plans to achieve
their goals. When focused on specific goals and under time pressure, Threes may
have a hard time listening or making time for other people. Twos can also be very
hard working, but it is rare for them to achieve the same level of workaholism
because they place a higher value on relationships and pleasure. In addition, Twos
place such a priority on what others need from them that they adapt their agendas
and priorities more to the goals and needs of other individuals or groups for which
they feel responsible. As a result, they tend to be very empathic and available to
their friends, colleagues, and important others, even at the expense of their own
work. In contrast to Threes, who can focus like a laser beam on their goals and
related tasks, Twos may abandon their own work in favor of meeting the needs or
supporting the efforts of other people.
Finally, Twos and Threes differ in terms of what they avoid most: Twos work hard,
sometimes behind the scenes, at achieving positive connections with others to
avoid experiencing rejection or not feeling valued, and Threes structure their work
and other goal-directed activities to avoid failure. Because of this, Twos tend to be
less direct and assertive than Threes, and Threes are far more overtly competitive
and driven to win, typically reframing failures as learning experiences.
Both Twos and Fours are keenly aware of their image and pay a great deal of
attention to how others perceive them, with Twos wanting to be perceived as
likable, friendly, and appealing and Fours wanting to be viewed as special, unique,
and different. Both are sensitive to how others perceive and feel about them and
this contributes to both styles being self-critical, with both Twos and Fours judging
themselves for not being good enough when someone does not respond favorably.
Twos and Fours are both emotional, although Twos may also repress certain
feelings and be out of touch with their deeper responses, while Fours often overidentify with their feelings and may dwell on certain feelings as a way to avoid
other feelings they are having. Interpersonally, both have a great capacity for
empathy and, as a result, are often skilled at creating relationships based on their
ability to both listen and understand other peoples thoughts and feelings.
Twos and Fours also differ in many respects. Twos want to be helpful and meet
others needs and often neglect their own needs in the process. Fours, by contrast,
have far more access to their own needs and make their own desires a higher
priority. In other words, Twos are more other-focused; that is, they pay more
attention to what others feel and need than to their own feelings and needs and
place a high value on being liked, often adapting their self-presentation to be what
they think others want them to be. Fours focus their attention primarily on
themselves and their own inner experience, valuing authenticity and presenting
themselves as they believe they truly are. As a result, Fours do not alter
themselves nearly as much in order to please other people.
When working on a project with others, Twos can be averse to conflict because
they fear conflict will destroy valued connections with others, while Fours are more
able to engage in conflict when necessary, finding it more important to express
truthful feelings and needs than to accommodate others and avoid anger. Overall,
Twos are usually more optimistic, supportive, and upbeat in their mood and
emotional presentation, while Fours can dwell more in melancholy and sadness and
often focus on what is missing in a situation.
In many ways, Two and Fours are opposite sides of the same coin. Both share a
perspective that the world is comprised of distress and suffering as well as joy and
opportunity. However, they differ in response to this worldview. Twos believe that it
is their job and responsibility to alleviate suffering and pain by being available to,
helping, and giving useful advice to others, while Fours believe that one must
experience and endure the more difficult parts of life in order to ultimately achieve
joy and pleasure.
resources?
While Twos and Fives are in some ways opposites, they do have some traits in
common. Both Twos and Fives can withdraw when feeling vulnerable and need time
alone; Fives rely on this strategy far more often and in more situations than Twos,
unless the Two is highly introverted or is a self-preservation subtype Two. Both Twos
and Fives place a high value on independence, although this is more of a way of
life for Fives. For Twos, being independent can be either an authentic desire to be
free of constantly focusing on others or, more typically, a way to defend against
feeling too dependent on other people.
In many respects, Twos and Fives are quite different. Twos feel their emotions fairly
frequently, although not always as strongly as they really are, and they tend to
respond to people and events far more strongly due to their more intuitive,
feelings-based approach to interactions. Fives habitually and automatically detach
from their emotions; they can seem very reserved, unemotional, and analytical
because of their more objective and intellectual way of approaching tasks and
discussions.
Twos like to be around people and actively seek close relationships with others,
focusing their attention on other peoples feelings and needs. Fives highly value
their privacy, personal space, and alone time and are generally less relationshiporiented. They often purposely avoid becoming too involved with other people,
particularly when the involvement includes having to deal with the emotions and
needs of others. In general, Fives feel drained of their energy and resources when
they have to interact with others for extended periods of time. Twos typically feel
energized and affirmed by close, positive contact with other people, especially
close friends and individuals who are important to them. Most Twos give very
generously to others, at times even offering too much of themselves or their
resources. By contrast, Fives are usually more withholding, having the ongoing
concern that others will take too much of their resources for example, time and
energy that they believe they need for themselves.
Additionally, Twos can have a difficult time setting and adhering to appropriate
boundaries between themselves and others, while Fives tend to be very mindful of
establishing clear, firm boundaries with other people. For example, Twos can have
a hard time saying no to others, even when they dont want to do something or
when they are feeling depleted; Fives can say no relatively easily if they dont
want to meet another persons need. Similarly, Twos usually consider themselves
to be high-energy people who can readily devote a good deal of their time and
energy to others, while Fives have the sense they have limited energy and, as a
result, conserve their energy for their own needs.
best decisions?
In some respects, Twos and Sixes can look similar as both can worry and be fearful,
but their fears have different sources. Sixes worry about overall safety, bad things
happening, and problems occurring, while Twos worry more about people for
example, whether or not people will perceive them in a positive light, the
possibility of being rejected, and the safety and well being of specific individuals
who are important to them. Both Twos and Sixes are often adept at reading people,
but they do so with different aims: Sixes look for hidden agendas, whether
someone is trustworthy, and the potential threats posed by that individual, while
Twos try to assess other peoples moods and needs as a way for Twos to connect
and establish relationships. When they relate to others, Twos try to present an
image that will please people or that help create an interpersonal alignment, and
they want to be appreciated and acknowledged. Sixes are not particularly
concerned about creating a particular image, being far more focused on making
sure others do not intend to do them harm.
Both Twos and Sixes can worry about what will go wrong and work hard to make
things go well. However, Sixes do this because they are good troubleshooters and
want to anticipate problems before they happen so they can prepare a solution,
while Twos engage in this behavior because they want to appear useful and
attractive, and as a way to take care of others. Both can have difficulty making
decisions. Twos can feel challenged when making choices between alternatives
because of two factors: (1) Twos focus so much attention on other people that they
become unaware of their own preferences, and (2) Twos may experience anxiety
and dismay when they know what they should do but the best choice has a
potentially negative impact on people. By contrast, decision making can be
challenging for Sixes because they continually doubt themselves and question the
alternatives, fearing that making the wrong choice will have damaging
consequences.
Twos and Sixes also differ in significant ways. Sixes usually feel suspicious of or
rebellious toward authority figures, although they may try to initially befriend them
as a way to minimize the chance of the authority causing them harm, doing so by
demonstrating their dutifulness and loyalty. Twos try to form good, long-lasting
relationships with those in authority, wanting these individuals as well as other
important people to like them and often try to become indispensable to them;
rather than being mistrustful of authority, Twos often like influential people and try
to develop close, long-lasting relationships with them.
Sixes also catastrophize and engage in worst-case scenario thinking much more
than Twos do. Twos are usually optimistic; while they may sometimes imagine that
people dont like them or worry about what might happen to others they care
about, Twos usually do not think in terms of the worst that can occur. Twos and
Sixes also deal with conflict differently. While Twos generally prefer to avoid conflict
if they can, all Sixes (but especially counterphobic Sixes) may move toward and
even initiate conflict. This arises from their need to challenge authority figures
whom they believe are abusing their power.
Finally, there are specific similarities between Twos and the self-preservation
subtype Six. Both Twos and self-preservation Sixes are warm and spend
considerable energy and effort to create friendships. However, Twos try to attract
friends based on their desire to be liked and need to be affirmed as this provides
them with a sense of personal well being and self worth. Self-preservation Sixes
also try to develop warm and friendly relationships, but do so because they believe
that these relationships serve as alliances that will provide protection from outside
threats, thus keeping them safe.
Twos and Sevens can appear similar, with both having upbeat, energetic, funloving, and optimistic attitudes. The Twos optimistic orientation gets other people
to respond positively to them; after all, people like happy people (or so the Two
thinks). The Sevens positive outlook is more foundational to their personality the
Seven motto is Why worry, be happy and also a result of their agility in
imagining positive possibilities and their avoidance of the negative. Both Twos and
Sevens have hedonistic tendencies; they like to have a good time and experience
pleasure, but their aims behind their pleasure seeking differ. Twos want positive
experiences with others in order to build and enjoy relationships, and they may
also indulge themselves as a way to address their feelings of deprivation or
neediness that stem from not fulfilling their own needs. Sevens use seeking
pleasure as a way of distracting themselves and avoiding discomfort and pain for
example, feelings of sadness, fear, or anxiety. Both styles enjoy relating to other
people and may idealize individuals they especially like; Twos idealize others as a
way get these individuals to affirm the Twos likability, and Sevens idealize certain
individuals when they feel particularly stimulated and engaged by this person.
There are also significant differences between Twos and Sevens. Twos pay a great
deal of attention to other people, focusing on their moods and needs as a way of
aligning with them and creating positive connections. This makes most Twos highly
empathic; they can actually feel exactly what another person is feeling without
having to be told explicitly. Sevens focus more on themselves, seeking fulfillment
of their own desires as a way of averting or distracting themselves from the
possibility of negative experiences. The Sevens self-focus creates challenges in
feeling anothers feelings and empathizing with them. In other words, many Sevens
can speculate about how someone else might feel, but this is more often a cerebral
conjecture than an actual experience of feeling someone elses feelings.
Twos often adapt themselves to others, abandoning their own needs and desires in
an attempt to strengthen their bonds with others. They actively manage their selfpresentation as a way of attracting others, trying to appear the way they think
others want them to be. By contrast, most Sevens do what they want to do, rarely
give up what they desire in order to please someone else, and seldom focus on
their image during interpersonal interactions. Instead, Sevens are far more focused
on whether or not the interaction is stimulating and engaging to them. At a
fundamental level, Twos are motivated by pleasing others, while Sevens are
motivated by participating in interesting, exciting, and pleasurable activities,
focusing more on pleasing themselves.
In addition, Twos tend to be feeling-oriented, having regular contact with their
emotions and sensitive to the feelings of others, while Sevens are more mentally
oriented, with a mind constantly engaged in instantaneous mental processing and
rapid associations of ideas. As a result, Sevens can have difficulty focusing and
completing tasks, especially when these are tedious, boring, or too repetitive. Twos
focus far more easily, particularly when they know what are doing will being seen
and evaluated by others. In addition, Sevens crave options, feeling excruciatingly
limited if they do not have an abundance of them. Twos neither need nor want
multiple options; having too many options can make it more difficult for Twos who
may not be sure of what they want, need, or think to make a decision.
Finally, social subtype Sevens can appear more similar to Twos than the other two
subtypes of Seven; social Sevens are oriented toward being of service to others,
and they may sacrifice their own desires for stimulation and excitement in service
of the group. Doing this counteracts the social Sevens own impulses and desires
and helps them to be seen as good for making this sacrifice. Their focus on the
group and what others might need can make social Sevens seem like a friendly,
outgoing, and generous Two. However, despite the social Sevens tendency to give
more of themselves than the other two subtypes of Seven, they can still be
distinguished from Twos by their relentless rapid mental processing, continuous
love for new ideas, tendency to talk more than they listen, and clarity about what
they want and desire, and their chronic avoidance of difficult experiences and
feelings.
Twos and Eights share some common characteristics. They tend to be protective of
others and react strongly when they see others being abused; Twos become more
reactive when individuals important to them are being treated abusively, while
Eights are most activated when the weak or vulnerable are being abused by unjust
authority figures. Both can be self-indulgent, hedonistic, and immoderate in their
pursuits for example, eating, working, and giving to others. Twos do this as a
substitute for their deeper and unattended needs and because they often dont
know exactly what or how much they need of something. Eights are excessive
because they have big energy and appetites, and they dislike inhibiting or limiting
their desires. In a sense, Twos abandon themselves by focusing so extensively on
others, and Eights forget their own needs and limits when they take on more and
more work without recognizing their own limitations. Both Twos and Eights like to
be in control, but for different reasons. Eights like to take charge from a big-picture
perspective, want everything under control, and feel compelled to take forward
action quickly and effectively. Twos like to be in control because doing so makes
them feel capable and valuable, and they believe that their effectiveness in
orchestrating people and events contributes to others holding them in high
esteem.
There are several ways in which Twos and Eights are markedly different. Twos focus
on creating and preserving their image and care a great deal about how people
perceive them. Eights care very little about their image and how others view them.
Most Eights can feel and express their anger quite readily and are willing to
confront most conflict directly, unless they dont care about the situation or the
individuals involved. While some Twos are able to confront others and engage in
conflict and other Twos are highly reluctant to do so, conflict still takes an
emotional toll on all Twos. They most often either repress or avoid expressing their
anger because they believe that nice people do not get angry, and they fear that
expressing anger may alienate the very people with whom they want to maintain a
connection. Additionally, Eights avoid expressing vulnerability, even denying that
they have any at all while Twos more easily express theirs vulnerabilities, such as
hurt, anxiety, and sadness.
Twos and Eights also have very different orientations to power. Eights enjoy having
visible power and influence, as well as understanding and leveraging the political
dynamics at work; they are attuned to who has it, how it is used, and how they
themselves fit into the power structure. Although Twos often sense issues of power
and influence, they shy away from direct involvement in it, although they may
influence power dynamics indirectly and out of view. Instead, Twos often align
themselves with powerful figures, preferring to be the power behind the throne
than being the visible source of power. Visibility in these situations makes most
Twos feel anxious and highly vulnerable. Although Eights do not always have to be
the boss or the leader, Eights easily step into a leadership role, especially if there is
an absence of leadership in a given situation. In addition, Eights can dominate and
impose their will on others rather easily, whereas Twos tend to read situations in
terms of what is required of them to influence others, then do so using more subtle
or indirect means.
Twos and Nines are two Enneagram styles that share many common traits. Both
focus on others more than themselves, and they do this so often that they forget or
neglect their own needs and wants in favor of allowing others needs and desires to
be in the foreground. Both styles overadjust to others, with Twos altering their
behavior to what they think other people want so they will be liked and Nines
blending into other peoples energy and acceding to their agendas in an effort to
create harmony and reduce tension and separation. Twos and Nines can both make
excellent mediators because they easily see and understand others perspectives
and opinions, sometimes more clearly than their own.
To outside observers, Twos and Nines both appear likable, friendly, and caring. In
general, individuals of both styles have limited contact with their anger, although
Twos display more palpable anger when their unexpressed needs are not met or
when they ask for something and are ignored. Because most Twos and Nines are
uncomfortable when they are angry or when someone is upset with them both
are oriented to maintaining positive connections with others most Twos and Nines
avoid conflict. In addition, they can both engage in passive-aggressive behavior
for example, by implying yesbut without intending to do so or by withdrawing and
acting as if everything is fine when it is not. For Twos and Nines, asserting
themselves and expressing anger in direct ways runs the risk of breaking important
connections with other people.
While Twos and Nines can look very similar, they do have some contrasting traits.
While both styles focus more on others more than on themselves, Twos focus more
on their own feelings and those of others and they experience a wider range of
intense emotions; Nines focus more on maintaining harmony with individuals and
groups, and they tend to be more steady, temperate and even-keeled. Two and
Nines also differ in how they relate to others. Twos are more active in relating to
other people, proactively sensing and interpreting the needs and preferences of
others as a way to align with them emotionally. Nines seek connections with others
in a less deliberate way, and they do not intuitively understand other peoples
needs as readily as Twos. Although many Nines try to be helpful, they often need
others to be explicit about what might be useful. In addition, Twos are more
selective when it comes to individuals with whom they seek a friendship. Twos are
attracted to some individuals more than others for example, important people
and those in need while Nines are more democratic, being easily accessible to
anyone who is pleasant and interesting to them.
Finally, Two are generally more active, with higher energy levels and a faster pace
than Nines, who usually appear more relaxed and easygoing. While individuals of
both styles can easily abandon themselves in favor of others, Twos tend to repress
their needs and feelings, while Nines forget or deny their true desires and real
opinions. In other words, Twos often know what they are thinking and feeling but
are unaware of the strength of these opinions and emotions, while Nines can be
completely unaware of their interior reactions.
Threes and Fours can look similar because they have some common
characteristics. As Heart Center styles, both Threes and Fours pay a great deal of
attention to how others perceive them, try to create a particular image, and
emphasize relationships and connections. Threes try to create an image of success
and achievement based what they imagine others value, but they avoid or
circumvent their own emotions by focusing on tasks and getting things done. Fours
try to create an image of being unique, sensitive, and different, while experiencing
their emotions deeply and often over-identify with their feelings. In addition, both
styles place great importance on and are sensitive to recognition and approval, and
they can be intense, hard working, competitive, and inventive, with Fours usually
having more originality in their creativity and Threes tending to conform more to
social conventions.
Significant differences also exist between Threes and Fours. When Threes focus on
tasks, they usually look for the shortest, most efficient, and fastest route to their
goal and pursue practical goals in order to achieve success as defined by the
context or group in which they want to excel. In order to get things done and keep
everything moving forward, Threes try to ignore or submerge their feelings,
believing that emotions such as sadness, anxiety, and anger can be distractions to
success. Fours are more nonlinear, creative, and organic and they tend to pursue
ideals more than goals for example, love, emotional depth through creativity, and
authentic expression as a way for them to feel special and unique. Fours also
place far more importance on feelings, self-expression, and connections with others
and believe that feelings should be felt and then authentically expressed.
Threes strive to match the image of what they believe other people think is most
attractive, admirable, or successful, even if it means appearing to be something or
someone they are not. They place a high value on seeming to have the outward
signs of success for example, the right clothing for the occasion, a car that
reflects their image or desired status, friends that reflect well on them, and a
winning, can-do interpersonal style. By contrast, Fours place more emphasis on
their own internal sense of what they want and feel and value authentic selfexpression and deep relationships; they are far less likely to adjust their behavior
based on what others may want. Some Fours can be somber in their style, some
appear sophisticated, and others have a flair for the dramatic, and all Fours
respond to their internal moods more than what is expected of them and can
convey a sense that they and/or the situation are deficient in some way that is,
missing something that would have otherwise made them successful.
Finally, Threes often appear pragmatic, optimistic, and forward looking and focus
on specific goals and plans for reaching them. Fours focus on what is missing in the
current situation, what occurred in the past that gave them pain or pleasure, or
what is needed in a given situation to fill the gap between the real and the ideal. As
a result, Fours often come across as focused more on the past than the present,
more idealistic, and less optimistic than Threes.
resources?
Threes and Fives can be confused with one another because they share some
characteristics. Individuals of both styles value emotional control and try to avoid
both feeling and expressing their emotions. Although many Threes have strong
emotional reactions, they try to avoid experiencing them too deeply or expressing
them too intensely as a way of preventing their emotional reactions from
interfering with achieving their goals or tarnishing their image as a confident
person who is on top of situations. Fives actually detach from their emotions,
disconnecting from them as they occur by confining their breathing that is, not
breathing beyond their heads or necks and focusing extensively on thinking and
analyzing information. Fives find comfort and safety in thinking and acquiring
knowledge; Threes find comfort and ease in doing and performing.
Threes and Fives also share a deep desire to feel competent and to be perceived as
competent by other people whose opinions matter to them. As a result, individuals
of both styles can be highly sensitive to criticism, especially if they perceive the
critique as a challenge to their competence. However, Threes tend to define
competence in terms of their performance and achievements, while Fives define
competence more in terms of their knowledge and analytical skills.
When others want to forge close relationships with Threes or Fives, both may seem
unavailable and difficult to relate to at deeper levels. Threes may appear
inaccessible because they are highly identified with their image and unwilling to
share more of their real selves, particularly those aspects that may conflict with the
image they are trying to project. In general, Fives tend to be inaccessible to others
unless they really trust them, and this level of trust takes a long time to develop.
Fives withdraw from others as a way to reduce potentially taxing emotional
entanglements. In addition, both Threes and Fives value independence and self-
sufficiency, and this can interfere with their developing close, interdependent
bonds with others.
Significant differences also exist between Threes and Fives. Threes are far more
dependent on the approval and admiration of other people and reference groups,
and they are focused on creating an image of success; the admiration of others
makes Threes feel valued and worthwhile. Fives pride themselves on their
autonomy and lack of concern about the perceptions of others. They do not focus
on creating and maintaining a particular image other than being highly
knowledgeable.
Threes and Fives also differ in their work styles. Threes are primarily oriented
toward achieving goals, creating plans, and working on tasks, while Fives place
their emphasis on observing, thinking, analyzing, and increasing their knowledge
base. Threes expend enormous energy on work itself, thinking nothing of spending
whatever amount of time it takes to achieve their chosen goals, even when this
requires them to work excessively month after month. Threes can be workaholics,
volunteering for extra work and bringing work with them on vacations. Fives
emphasize conserving their energy and are reluctant to take on tasks,
relationships, and time commitments that they believe will drain them and their
resources. Fives feel that their energy can be easily depleted and squandered if
they dont conserve their resources for example, time, energy, and effort by
setting clear boundaries on their time and commitments.
Although both Threes and Fives can be highly competitive, Threes are more overtly
so and display this quality in many more aspects of their lives. For example, Threes
are usually adept at marketing themselves, making it obvious often with subtlety
and finesse what they are good at, what theyve accomplished, and who they
know. Fives, by contrast, feel challenged when they have to market themselves,
feeling that doing so is bragging and intrudes on others. Although individuals of
both styles like to win, Threes often focus on winning to such an extent that they
often ignore what it will cost them personally, while Fives easily disengage from
activities when they conclude that the effort is not worth the expenditure of their
energy and resources.
best decisions?
Threes and Sixes have some traits in common. Both can be very hardworking and
assertive, and Threes and some Sixes especially counterphobic Sixes can be
forward moving. Both Threes and Sixes specialize in reading people, although they
do this for different reasons. Threes scan their audience to determine what others
value so they can create an image or persona that others will view as successful
and admirable, matching the particular context and trying to appear confident in
what they do. Sixes read others in order to anticipate whether the person is a
threat and to protect themselves by looking for hidden agendas and ulterior
motives. Both styles can be personable, friendly, and practical, with Threes focused
on finding the most efficient path to get to the end-result and gaining approval
from others, and Sixes focused on creating safety by knowing who they can count
on as an ally and anticipating problems and dangers so they can feel prepared and
find proactive solutions.
Threes and Sixes also differ in specific ways. Threes do whatever it takes to
achieve success, and they focus on moving quickly and efficiently toward their
goals. They assume success will occur and work toward goals without slowing
down long enough to think a great deal about what might go wrong. Sixes want
success as well, but they also fear it and can actually undermine themselves; they
may avoid taking action that leads to success out of fear that success leads to
exposure because they believe that exposure leaves them open to being attacked.
Sixes are skilled troubleshooters as a result of considering what might go wrong in
accomplishing a particular task so they can prepare for it; however, they can also
procrastinate for fear of doing it wrong or worrying that an unanticipated problem
may arise. Phobic Sixes can appear more uncertain than Threes or counterphobic
Sixes a result of their self-doubt and continuous questioning of themselves and
others and can sometimes become immobilized or paralyzed by over analysis
and imagining worst-case scenarios.
Finally, Threes can usually work well with authorities, as long as they do not
interfere with Threes progress toward their goals. When Threes dont respect a
particular authority figure, they tend to simply ignore this person whenever
possible. Sixes, by contrast, tend to be suspicious of authority figures, fearing
these individuals will use their power against them in unfair or abusive ways. As a
result, most Sixes try to prove their value and loyalty to authorities by being dutiful
and responsible, but then rebel when their well-placed efforts dont work or when
the authority figure disappoints them. Other Sixes rebel more quickly and engage
in confrontational behavior towards these individuals.
Threes and Sevens can be look-alike styles, sharing many characteristics. Both are
high energy and hardworking, especially on projects that they are invested in and
find interesting, and they can be charming, engaging, and able to attract others.
Threes employ these qualities to gain peoples approval, admiration, and
cooperation, while Sevens use charm and engagement as a first line of offense and
defense that is, to enlist others in the exchange of ideas and to create an upbeat,
positive mood but also to defuse any potential negativity. Both Threes and Sevens
are optimistic and confident; Threes want to create an image of achievement and
confidence and often have a history of success, and Sevens habitually view things
in a positive light, believing in the seemingly endless possibilities available and the
abundance of opportunities. The Sevens optimism is also a way for them to avoid
difficult issues and feelings, such as fear, sadness, and anxiety. In addition, both
styles avoid negative feelings because they believe these slow them down. Threes
think that uncomfortable emotions distract them in their forward movement and
goal accomplishment, while Sevens believe there is no reason to dwell on
difficulties when you could be racing forward with plans and ideas instead.
There are also traits that distinguish Threes from Sevens. Threes excel at focusing
on and completing tasks, while Sevens have difficulty maintaining their focus
because they are easily distracted by their stimulating ideas, interests, and
activities and have a hard time saying no to something that grabs their attention.
Although Threes and Sevens both enjoy multitasking and keeping busy, Threes
multitask by doing between three and six things at once, and Sevens like to juggle
as many tasks as possible. Threes will delay doing something that interests them
without regret, knowing that restraining themselves enables them to get their
deliverables completed and that they can do the desired activity at a later date.
Sevens almost always say yes to something interesting or exciting even when they
are impossibly busy. Although they usually find a way to get it all done, it may not
be on time or with the quality they intended.
Threes, being more other-oriented, rely on others approval and admiration to
affirm their sense of self and personal value, and they cultivate their image and try
to manage others perceptions of them. Sevens pay little attention to gaining

others approval and even less to maintaining a particular image. Sevens are selfreferencing rather than other-referencing that is, they focus far more on their own
internal experiences, needs, and desires, than on whether others approve of them.
Threes prioritize work over pleasure, even bringing work home when it is not
necessary, and they usually work well within organizational authority structures
and their limitations as long as these support the Threes forward progress toward
his or her goals. Sevens prioritize pleasure over work whenever possible and dislike
hierarchical structures; they try to equalize authority by acting as if authority
figures are on the same level as the Seven for example by befriending or ignoring
them. This helps Sevens avoid acknowledging that anyone or anything has the
right or the role to place limitations on them. Finally, while both Threes and Sevens
plan and are future oriented, the Sevens planning is more akin to dreaming about
the future and creating ideas that might work, and this makes it difficult for them
to pay attention to the present. By contrast, Threes create concrete plans for their
specific goals, and focus far more on the present and the tasks in front of them.
Because Threes and Eights have several common characteristics, they can look
similar to each other. Both are hardworking, results oriented, direct, and assertive
and they focus their energy on moving tasks and projects forward; they can also
overwork. Threes are driven to finish tasks in order to reach their goals, no matter
how much effort and time it takes, and Eights are prone to forgetting and
bypassing their own physical needs and limits because they want to make big
things happen. Threes and Eights also have ready access to their anger and
express it when necessary, but they usually become angry for different reasons.
Threes become impatient and angry when others create obstacles to their goals.
Eights become angry and express it more frequently than Threes; their ire is
stimulated by a wider array of issues for example, when someone hurts an
individual they feel a need to protect, impedes their forward movement, and tells
them what to do, or when they feel blindsided or attacked.
Threes and Eights both enjoy being in positions of leadership. Threes like to have
direct influence over the goals that are set and how the work is then organized,
and they like the image-enhancing effects of having a high status, visible position
within the authority structure. Eights want to be in control, to set the overall
direction, and to have the power to both set the agenda and oversee the work
going forward. Because both want to appear strong and in control of themselves,
most Threes and Eights usually have difficulty expressing vulnerable emotions
specifically fear and sadness and perceive the expression of these feelings as a
display of weakness. Threes believe being emotional interferes with their focus on
work, compromises their public image, and has the potential to derail progress
toward their goals; although many Threes know when they are feeling
uncomfortable or vulnerable, they generally regroup and refocus on work as a way
of dealing with these feelings. Eights actually deny their vulnerable feelings and
may not even be aware of their emotional discomfort. The denial maintains the
Eights sense of strength, power, and control.
Threes and Eights are also very different. Threes are motivated by success and
driven to attain their goals and follow their plans, and they cultivate an image of
success to gain the admiration of others. Eights pay little attention to their image
and care even less about how people perceive them. Instead, Eights are motivated
by a desire for influence and power. As a result of these very different motivations,
Threes are usually adept at finding the most efficient path or plan to reach a given
goal, while Eights often have difficulty knowing exactly how much pressure,
energy, and force to use in order to move closer to a particular objective. Threes
are more people oriented and are often skilled in assessing how they impact
others, athougth they may not fully anticipate the impact of what they do on
structures and systems. Eights are more structure and systems focused,
instinctively grasping structural and systems impacts, but they often have blind
spots in the interpersonal arena.
Although Threes and Eights like to work for bosses they respect and want to
understand the organizational rules of the game, they function very differently
within organizations. Threes usually work well within existing organizational
structures and get along with their bosses, providing neither become an obstacle
to their goals. Eights often feel limited by organizational structures, can be
rebellious toward authorities, and break the rules if it suits their purposes. Threes
may at times also break rules, but they are more likely to subtly circumvent them
than to violate them in a bold and visible way.
Both Threes and Eights often describe themselves as honest with a desire for
knowing the truth, but they have very different definitions of truth and honesty.
Eights often believe they instinctively know what truth is; thus, they tend to not
solicit the opinions of others unless they are uncertain about a situation which is
rare and only if they truly respect someones knowledge or character. Threes are
confident but not always certain, and they test their audience to determine what
is true or what is the best course of action. Threes also tend to be more diplomatic
than Eights and will speak the truth when they believe it is important to do so, but
they usually express it with a sensitivity to the impact their words have on another;
for Threes, truth and honesty may be relative and somewhat contingent on
particular circumstances. For Eights, there is no relative truth or honesty. They say
what they think and expect others to do the same.
Finally, Eights often have a stronger sense of who they really are than do Threes.
Although everyone can struggle with the question Who am I? at different times in
their lives, the Threes facility in adapting their persona to their context can leave
them confused about their real or deeper identity. Eights, by contrast, adapt so
little to their context that their sense of self does not shift and change to the same
degree.
Threes and Nines share the qualities of being optimistic, likable, hardworking, and
practical, and they both usually display effective interpersonal skills. In addition,
both also depend on external support for their sense of identity and direction.
Threes read other people in order to determine how they should look and act in
order to appear successful and then (consciously and unconsciously) create their
persona to match that image; this helps Threes gain the approval and admiration
of others and feel good about themselves. Nines use others as their reference and
accede to their wishes as a way of not having to pay attention to what they
themselves want, to minimize conflict, and to create harmony.
At times, both Threes and Nines can feel inaccessible at a deeper human level.
While they are friendly and interactive on the surface, Threes and Nines can feel
uncertain about who they really are, and this confusion can impair deeper human
contact with others. Threes focus so much attention on work and activities, identify
so strongly with their image, and avoid discussing their deeper feelings; these
qualities compromise human interaction at a deeper level. Similarly, Nines can
forget who they are, be unclear about what they think, lose touch with what they
really want, and instead merge with other people. Merging may feel good, but it is
not the same thing as deep human interaction. Deep human contact requires the
individuals involved to have a strong enough sense of a separate self to make
contact with another.
There are also some key differences between Threes and Nines. The Threes
primary focus is the accomplishment of tasks and goals, while the Nines is
maintaining comfort and harmony. Threes are fast-paced, decisive, and forward
moving; with their keen focus on goals and priorities, they are very work-oriented
and can easily become workaholics. Nines move at a slower pace for example,
their rate of speech, pace of work, and speed of walking and have a tendency to
take their time before moving to action. They are also very hardworking, but they
can have a harder time finishing tasks on time because they are prone to
procrastination, can be plagued by indecision, or become distracted by less
essential tasks. Nines may also forget what they were supposed to do, switch to a
less important task, or take time off to relax from the pressure.
Threes will engage in conflict if necessary and even initiate it, particularly when it
involves an obstacle to their forward momentum, and will more readily endure
discomfort if it serves their progress toward their goal. Nines usually take great
pains to avoid conflict; they like to stay comfortable and tend to avoid moving
outside their comfort zone to accomplish tasks they view as disturbing their peace
for example, a Nines expressing a strong opinion in public or confronting
someone about something that was unkind or incorrect. Finally, Nines dislike being
the center of attention although they do like being acknowledged while most
Threes enjoy being in the spotlight, with many Threes actively seeking out
situations in which they are center stage.
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There are some clear similarities between Fours and Fives. Both styles tend to
withdraw from others, but for different reasons and in different ways. Fives draw
clear boundaries between themselves and others and do so consistently for
example, making it clear through their comments and behavior how long they will
meet with others, what topics are acceptable for discussion, and how much
physical space or separation they desire. This enables Fives to move away from
interpersonal contact particularly intense contact whenever they want to as a
way to conserve their energy and internal resources; they fear that prolonged
interaction with others will exhaust them, drain their energy, and/or invade their
private space. Fours also need distance from others but they withdraw for different
reasons: (1) to engage more deeply with their own internal experience, (2) to
protect themselves when they feel hurt or angry, and (3) when they feel too close
to someone and want to create some distance between themselves and the other
person. Although Fours have much more access to their emotions than do Fives,
both tend to intellectualize and engage in thinking and analysis as a way of
understanding and avoiding painful feelings. In addition, both styles are
introspective and self-referencing, which means they focus more on their own
internal experience than on the experience of other people.
Significant differences also exist between Fours and Fives. Fours are one of the
most emotional Enneagram styles, and they value deep, authentic relationships.
They connect frequently to their own deep-level emotions and enjoy seeking out
strong emotional connections with others; because they are sensitive to the feeling
of abandonment and loss, Fours make a concerted effort to engage in deep,
meaningful interactions. However, Fours can become anxious and ambivalent
when connections become too close for their comfort level. Fives are among the
least emotional Enneagram styles. They habitually detach from their feelings,
sometimes choosing to feel them later, and enjoy being alone and having a great
deal of private time. Fives keep most feelings to themselves, and they usually
avoid deep connections with most other people because they feel more
comfortable with limited and circumscribed emotional engagement.
When assessing a situation or task, Fives observe first, analyze their thoughts, and
then communicate their perspectives from a detached, analytical, cerebral, and
objective point of view. By contrast, Fours rely on their feelings and tend to see
things from a more emotional, subjective, and symbolic perspective. Fives tend to
be reserved and self-contained, value self-sufficiency, and are highly sensitive to
being intruded on when involved in work or personal relationships; they can easily
feel drained by the needs of others. Fours, by contrast, are more intense, dramatic,
romantic or idealistic, and passionate in their relationships with others, and they
are usually very sensitive and empathic when others express their needs. Fours
experience longing for their own needs to be met and can become angry or
despondent when this does not occur, feeling the lack of need fulfillment and pain
acutely. Fives will minimize their needs and desires, detaching from the pain of
unmet needs, and instead economize and conserve their resources as a way to
cope with not having enough.
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Fours and Sixes share some external behaviors. Both are intuitive and skilled at
reading others; Fours intuit other peoples feelings and motivations as a way to be
empathic and create deep connections, as well as to protect themselves from
possible rejection, while Sixes try to assess other peoples intentions and
motivations in order to determine whether these individuals are trustworthy in
order to protect themselves from threats.
Fours and Sixes can both challenge authority figures as well as the established way
of doing tasks and projects. Fours tend to non-conformists, partly because they
have original ways of seeing things and partly because they dare to be different.
Sixes can be rebellious and challenging because they think in contrarian ways and
are cautious and wary of those they perceive as having power over them. Both
styles can also be effective troubleshooters; Fours intuitively feel whats missing in
a specific situation, and Sixes automatically think about what might go wrong so
that they can prepare for it in advance.
Both Fours and Sixes can engage in self-deprecating behavior, having negative
feelings about themselves and asking, What did I do wrong here? Both can feel
stuck in their lives and pursuits and have difficulty moving forward. Some Fours
can appear quite confident, but underneath this exterior is the chronic feeling that
they are not good enough, defective, or flawed in some way. They tend to be overly
self-critical and often believe that their life circumstances are hopeless or beyond
their control to change. Sixes tend to doubt and question themselves in most
situations, although this is more true of phobic Sixes and less obvious for
counterphobic Sixes. Sixes can become despondent as a result of their tendency to
overanalyze issues and events, paralyzed or immobilized when they dont know
what to do, doubtful of their own abilities, and fearful of success and the
subsequent visibility and attacks that may ensue as a result.
There are also clear distinctions between Fours and Sixes. Fours are sensitive to
how they are being perceived by others primarily as a hedge against personal
rejection and focus on creating as image of being unique, different, and original;
Fours want to stand out and be viewed as special and to feel loved and appreciated
for who they are. Sixes, by contrast, focus more on feeling safe in a dangerous
world and are not as chronically concerned with personal rejection or creating a
particular image. They identify more with the underdog and appear more like the
everyman/everywoman archetype.
Fours live primarily from and in the emotional arena, while Sixes live in their heads
and are predominantly mental and analytical. Although they can be highly
analytical, most Fours use their mental agility to process and understand their
feelings. Many Sixes have strong emotional reactions, but they primarily rely on
their mental functioning to create scenarios that explain and reinforce their
emotional responses. In addition, the Sixs most common emotional experiences
involve fear, doubt, and worry, searching for certainty that inevitably cannot be
found. Fours most often feel sadness and melancholy, focusing on what they dont
have that others seem to for example, wanting an unattainable love relationship
or an extremely close connection and believing that they can finally be happy only
if they attain this.
Fours and Sevens share several common traits that can make them appear similar.
Most notably, both seek intense and stimulating experiences, but for different
reasons. Fours live in the world of feelings and personal experience, crave the
richness of deeply felt emotions and passionate connections with other people, and
dislike mundane activities; mundane and ordinary experiences can make them feel
discouraged and depressed and cause them to feel as if they are just like everyone
else that is, not particularly special. Sevens pursue intensity and stimulation as a
way to keep their moods elevated and their experiences fun and positive to an
extreme. Being stimulated and adrenalized helps them avoid less positive, less
intense, empty, boring, and unpleasant alternatives, all of which would not feel
good to Sevens, whose motto is: Why feel bad when you can feel good? Both Fours
and Sevens also value creativity and self-expression. Fours want to be seen as
unique and creative, and they enjoy self-expression, often through aesthetics,
artistry, and a symbolic understanding of the meaning of events and experiences.
Sevens like creativity and innovation and being able to express their continuous
stream of new ideas.
In relationships, both Fours and Sevens tend to be self-referencing that is, they
pay far more attention to and place greater emphasis on their own thoughts,
feelings, and experiences than on those of others. When Fours focus on
themselves, they usually do so by concentrating on their own feelings and moods;
in this sense, they are more internally than externally directed. When they listen to
others, Fours commonly share their own experiences, sometimes interrupting the
other person to do so. Although the intent is most often to deepen the connection
between them and to demonstrate their empathy and understanding, others can
interpret this behavior as redirecting the conversation back to the Four. The selfreferencing behavior of Sevens is more often based on their own thoughts, ideas,
future plans, anticipated pleasurable activities, and external stimuli, and Sevens
also interrupt others when they have an idea or want to say something. From the
their perspective, this demonstrates their interest in what the other person is
saying, although others may perceive this as having been cut off.
Fours and Sevens are also highly sensitive to criticism. Fours experience criticism
as a blow to their self-esteem, and it elicits their chronic sense that they are not
good enough. Sevens experience criticism as a hurtful interruption of their
innocent desire to focus on the positive and to see themselves in positive terms. In
addition, because many Sevens avoid introspection and self-assessment, they
often feel ill-equipped to deal with these judgments, assessments, and critiques.
Fours and Sevens also differ in specific ways. Although both styles are idealistic,
Sevens tend to be relentlessly optimistic, while Fours can be more pessimistic as a
result of the their attention to what is missing in a person or situation. In addition,
Fours and Sevens have very different profiles in relation to how they experience
feelings. Emphasizing charm and a positive, fun-loving presentation of self, Sevens
focus and dwell primarily on positive feelings, partly because they have upbeat,
happy temperaments and partly because they want to keep it that way. Sevens
have a difficult time accepting and experiencing more challenging emotions, such
as sadness, anxiety, discomfort, and even anger to some degree; they reframe
negatives into positives, and as a result, they can transform a painful event into
one filled with opportunities. Fours, on the other hand, are far more comfortable
experiencing a wide range of emotions. From the their perspective, feeling

something is better than feeling nothing and Fours feel negative emotions such as
disappointment or melancholy fairly regularly. In addition, they focus on what is
missing or what something should be, and this helps them feel more familiar with
the negative aspects of situations, issues, and relationships.
Fours relative comfort and familiarity with a breadth and depth of feelings makes
them empathic when others are suffering or under duress. Fours experience a
richness and realness in facing deeper issues, perceiving it as a valuable part of
the human experience; deep connections with others based on sharing authentic
feelings and being available to others in challenging moments satisfies their need
for meaningful connection. Most Sevens are far more challenged when empathizing
with and supporting others who are experiencing difficulties, particularly if the
persons issues persist for an extended period of time. This is partly because
Sevens do not like to deal with suffering in their own lives and have little prolonged
experience of doing so and partly because they believe Why suffer when you can
feel good? Sevens are often hesitant to make long-term commitments to
relationships that involve painful experiences because this can feel distressing,
depressing, and limiting. As a result, Fours can perceive Sevens superficial and
inauthentic, and Sevens can perceive Fours as overly intense and unnecessarily
negative.
Fours and Eights can appear similar to one another. Most Fours and Eights willingly
engage in conflict even though neither would say they particularly enjoy conflict
and they can confront people when necessary, although Eights tend to do so more
regularly than Fours. Both experience emotions deeply and express them with
intensity, although their emotional repertoires are different. Eights express anger
more frequently than any other feeling, but they hide their sensitivities and
vulnerabilities, perceiving these as weakness. Fours usually feel a wider range of
emotions, although they are especially attuned to sadness, melancholy, and
vulnerability. Fours and Eights are intense and drawn to intensity in others, and
both styles feel things passionately and can be impulsive, feeling justified in
breaking the rules. Eights believe that they are bigger than most rules and that
rules are meant to be broken. Fours break rules because they value their own
internal experience as well as their needs and desires over a set of established
rules. In the work environment, Fours and Eights work hard and can be deeply
engaged in their endeavors; Fours view work as an opportunity for self-expression
and collaborative artistry, while Eights strive to make the biggest impact possible
and to protect the people with whom they work.
Significant differences also exist between Fours and Eights. Eights have a difficult
time recognizing and acknowledging their own physical limits, dependency needs,
and softer emotions, while Fours are far more familiar and experienced dealing
with them. Fours usually expend far more effort in getting their physical and
emotional needs met, and they express affection and love by sharing feelings and
expressing their desire for connection. Eights often act as if they have no needs,
except with the few individuals they trust; in relationships, Eights typically express
affection and love by being powerful and protective of others.
While both styles can challenge established authorities, Eights are typically more
clearly and consistently rebellious than Fours. Eights are sensitive to leadership
vacuums and power dynamics and believe it is their role and responsibility to make
certain everything is under control. Consequently, they will not only challenge
leaders they perceive to be ineffective or unjust, they will also step in and take
charge. Although Fours may challenge authority figures and systems, they do so
most often when their core values are at stake and rarely assume that they should
or need to step forward into the leadership role; in fact, taking charge under these
circumstances would be anxiety producing for most Fours.
In general, Eights focus on the strategic, big picture and then immediately
strategize how to move things forward, being bold, assertive, aggressive, and even
dominating. Fours, by contrast, pay more attention to the creative process,
attracting attention, and being valued for their unique contributions to the process.
They are generally less assertive that is, less consistently assertive and more
oriented to achieving emotional connection with others. In addition, Eights tend to
be direct and straightforward when communicating and they can easily
misperceive the impact they have on others. Fours are highly attuned to how they
affect people around them, expressing themselves at length and with nuance,
particularly emphasizing their own experience as well as their emotional reactions.
Fours and Nines share some common characteristics. They can look alike because
both place a great deal of importance on cultivating relationships and the
achievement of connections with other people. Both styles can lose themselves in
relationships, although Nines do this more regularly and with more people by
merging or blending with the other persons energy, priorities, and desires. Fours
can also lose their sense of self, but they only do this in extremely close
relationships and through sublimating their own needs and desires to those of the
other person in hopes of maintaining the close connection.
Both Fours and Nines have the capacity to understand people. Because Fours are
emotionally intuitive and sensitive to the moods and feelings of others, they are
able and interested in understanding them in depth. Nines are skilled, noninvasive, and nonjudgmental questioners and want everyone to be heard; they
have the capacity to understand and embrace many points of views, some even
more clearly than their own.
Fours and Nines can feel overlooked and often have the feeling that they are
misunderstood or undervalued by others. Fours, however, most often feel
misunderstood and therefore overlooked in terms of their feelings and intentions,
feeling like misfits who are different and marginal to the groups they belong. Nines
most often feel overlooked and therefore not understood in terms of not fully
belonging or not being important enough as a person. They often have a deep
concern about whether or not they belong to the group, whether it is their family or
other groups.
Fours and Nines also differ in significant ways. Nines are other-referencing, while
Fours are self-referencing. Nines pay attention to other peoples opinions, agendas,
and moods far more than their own, putting their needs and priorities aside in favor
of the needs and agendas of others. Fours emphasize and value their own internal
experience, focused more on satisfying their own needs, feelings, and desires.
Nines tend to be more steady and even-tempered than Fours and they avoid
conflict and crave harmony between themselves and others as well as within
groups. This is not a priority for Fours, who experience a wider range of intense
emotions. In fact, they may even create or contribute to discord if they believe it is
important for the authentic communication and the expression of feelings.
Finally, Nines are reluctant to state their preferences for several reasons. They may
not know what they want or may believe that someone elses opinions or desires
are more important than their own; they dont want to create a conflict and believe
that expressing a preference can invite opposition. The Nines tendency to
overadjust to other people often thinking the connection will be broken that if
they do not adapt to others creates difficulties for Nines in terms of saying no,
defining boundaries, and asserting themselves. By contrast, Fours believe that
their opinions are of value and should be heard. They assert themselves more,
adapt less often, and say no more regularly.
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best decisions?
Fives and Sixes are alike in several ways. Both can be reserved and withdrawn from
others; Fives maintain a distance between themselves and others as a way to
guard against people making too many demands on them and potentially depleting
them, and the more phobic Sixes are wary of others and withdraw out of fear that
other people represent some kind of danger or threat. The phobic Sixes, in
particular, most closely resemble Fives, as both keep more to themselves and seek
a sense of security by moving away from other people.
Both are slow to trust others when forming relationships. Fives and Sixes both
phobic and counterphobic Sixes, as well as Sixes who have elements of both
phobia and counterphobia have safety and security concerns and become vigilant
about protecting their personal boundaries. Fives and Sixes also become angry
when their boundaries are challenged or violated. The Fives need for clear
boundaries arises from their desire to prevent intrusions, invasions of privacy, and
other potentially energy-draining interactions with others, while the Sixes need
arises from their fear of being attacked or harmed in some way. Both Fives and
Sixes are analytical, and they intellectualize on a regular basis that is, they rely
on their thinking function as their primary mode of avoiding feelings. They may
think about feelings, but can have difficulty actually feeling them or differentiating
between and a thought and an emotion.
Fives and Sixes are also different in several ways. Counterphobic Sixes rarely get
confused with Fives because they are often more assertive than phobic Sixes and
also move toward people and situations rather than withdraw. All Sixes are
suspicious of and even openly rebellious with authority figures, while Fives more
often than not follow the directions given by authorities, although they are also
watchful of those in authority. Even if they do not respect or trust a person in a
position of power, Fives tend to go against that individual in a quieter, less
noticeable way. For example, Fives simply disappear by not attending meetings or
returning calls or e-mails or by engaging in strategizing behind the scenes. After
being initially hesitant, Sixes often challenge authorities directly for example, by
questioning, doubting, or confronting them in a quest for clarity and certainty and
they even do this in public forums. When analyzing situations, Fives try to be
objective in their analyses and reach their conclusions in an emotionally detached
way. Sixes, by contrast, have difficulty distinguishing facts from intuitions and
intuitions from projections. In other words, Sixes may confuse what is objectively
occurring from what they perceive to be true and can confuse their intuitions with
projections, which arise from their own fears and anxiety.
In relationships, Fives may feel close to someone but they have strict limits on
these interactions and withdraw frequently in order to take time for themselves,
replenish their own energy, and to avoid feeling that that they are obligated to
meet that persons emotional needs. Fives value emotional control, selfcontainment, and personal autonomy, and they strongly prefer independence to
interdependence. Sixes, by contrast, like to meet others needs, give their time and
energy more freely, and enjoy more closely connected relationships with people
they trust.
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Fives and Sevens have several characteristics in common. Both are mental styles,
living primarily in their heads or their thinking function. However, because they
believe that knowledge is power, Fives gather data that interests them and then
store this information in compartments in their mind so it can be retrieved at a
later time and used to analyze and explain how things work and fit together as
systems. This way of mental processing, called the compartmentalizing mind, is
akin to having mental file folders with subfolders, much like a computer desktop.
The Sevens mind is very different. They constantly conjure up new and inventive
ideas, engage in ongoing planning for future possibilities, and spontaneously
connect and relate ideas that may seem dissimilar to others. The Sevens mind,
called the synthesizing mind, is more akin to a computer desktop that contains all
the files but no folders in the workspace in which all are connected though
invisible lines. As a result of this difference in mental processing, Fives are
analytical, structured, systematic, and deliberate in their thinking, while Sevens are
generative, spontaneous, original, and among the fastest thinkers of the
Enneagram styles.
In addition, Sevens and Fives have active minds and genuinely enjoy learning, new
ideas, and pursuing their intellectual interests. They also guard against becoming
too committed to others in social interactions. Fives keep their distance from fear
of being drained by others demands and needs and strive to conserve their
energy. They are economical in their use of resources, believing that their
resources are limited and they are at risk of being depleted. Sevens want to
maintain their independence in order to keep their freedom and options open. They
crave having multiple options and limitless opportunities and feel trapped and
limited by others plans, desires, and expectations of them. In addition, individuals
of both styles intellectualize; they avoid their feelings by thinking, analyzing, and
keeping themselves mentally stimulated.
There are also clear differences between Fives and Sevens. Sevens live primarily in
the future, through their fantasies and plans, and by thinking about interesting and
pleasurable activities that have not yet happened. Sevens are relentlessly positive
most of the time and automatically reframe negative events and experiences
into positive ones, using rationalization to do this. They seek excitement and
stimulation as a way of avoiding feelings like frustration, discomfort, and sadness
but they express pleasure and joy quite readily. In addition, Sevens are highly
spontaneous, sometimes to the point of being impulsive. Fives, by contrast, tend to
be far more objective in their analysis of situations and events. They live more in
the practical reality of the present and their planning orientation is more like
project planning than dreaming about possibilities. Fives detach from feelings in
the moment, automatically letting them go and focusing instead on thoughts and
ideas. However, they feel their feelings later when they are alone and have the
time, desire, and privacy to reflect on them, and they do not limit the feelings they
are willing to experience. Being the most self-contained and self-controlled of the
Enneagram styles, Fives are rarely spontaneous unless they are highly relaxed and
with the very few other people they completely trust.
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Some clear similarities exist between Fives and Eights. Both can feel and express
anger when someone challenges their boundaries, although this is one of the only
situations in which Fives express anger spontaneously, and Eights become angry
far more frequently and over a wider range of issues. For example, Eights become
quite angry when they perceive others as not telling the truth, when someone acts
irresponsibly, doesnt live up to their potential, wastes their time, and more. Both
styles can also appear disengaged and detached, with Fives doing this habitually
and Eights intermittently. In addition, Fives and Eights have difficulty experiencing
and expressing any emotions that suggest they are feeling vulnerable. Fives detach
from emotions and withdraw from situations that might ignite their vulnerable
feelings, while Eights deny their vulnerability and overcompensate by focusing on
and finding ways to express their strength and power.
Fives differ from Eights in several respects. Fives are usually more deliberate,
reserved, withdrawn, and low-key energetically. They exert control more quietly,
less obtrusively, and with less expenditure of energy and they are more
systematic, minimalistic, conserving, and economical in their use of time and
resources. By contrast, Eights are bold and intense and their vast energy and
strong presence can be felt by others even when they are silent. They actively take
control in more overt and aggressive ways and tend to be excessive in the things
they do for example, eating food in large quantities and exercising for hours at a
time. Eights can be impulsive and move to action so quickly that they can neglect
to consider the various alternatives, while Fives think a great deal about the
alternatives and their consequences before taking action. As result, Eights can take
too much action too quickly, and Fives can take too little action or not take it soon
enough.
The difference between Fives and Eights is also a byproduct of the fact that Fives
are a Head Center style and Eights are a Body Center style. When analyzing
situations, Eights can have trouble distinguishing between the objective truth and
what they believe to be the truth because they rely on their gut instincts as their
primary information source and guide. Fives use their minds to determine the truth;
this includes a robust data-collection process and an objective, logical, and
analytical approach that helps them reach their conclusions.
In relationships, Eights usually make it clear what they think and feel and where
they stand, while Fives can be difficult to read and may withhold information about
what they are thinking and feeling, even with others to whom they feel close. Most
Eights feel energized by relationships and closeness although, like Fives, they trust
selectively and take time to develop the trust. Fives tend to minimize and inhibit
their own needs and desires and can feel depleted by life and relationships. Fives
may even forgo the possible pleasure that a relationship may bring because the
cost for engagement seems too high in terms of the Fives time, space, and energy.
Eights, by contrast, rebel against inhibitions internal or external to their
pleasure and need satisfaction.
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Fives and Nines share some traits, especially from the perspective of the outside
observer. Both can appear reserved, withdrawn, and non-aggressive. Both can be
good mediators, as Nines can easily see all points of view and Fives are objective
analysts. In addition, neither likes conflict and can be passive-aggressive when
they dont like something for example, being stubborn and immovable in a quiet
way. Nines do this as a result of their unwillingness to assert themselves or express
their anger directly, while Fives do not want to express their emotions openly or get
involved in an emotional and draining situation that they believe isnt worth the
effort. Individuals of both styles also distance themselves from their own internal
experiences and feelings. Fives detach from their emotion through
intellectualization and emotional disconnection, while Nines ignore, deny, and
forget their own preferences and opinions by telling themselves that they do not
really matter and by disconnecting from their physical sensations.
When they work with others, Fives and Nines like structure, consistency, and
predictability and want to be consulted about what they think. Both styles are
sensitive to and dislike being controlled by others and have strong negative
reactions to demands and pressure. In addition, Fives and Nines often need time to
reflect on what they think and how they feel. Fives need this time because they
detach emotionally when feelings are occurring and need to reconnect with the
feelings and analyze the situation, and Nines are often unclear about what they
think or how they are reacting and thus need time to let their thoughts and feelings
emerge.
There are also significant differences between Fives and Nines. In most
relationships, Nines merge or blend with others energetically and accede to the
other persons desires and preferences. They feel comfortable, connected,
harmonic, and relaxed with this lack of personal boundaries between themselves
and others. Nines are other-referencing, pay attention to others more than to
themselves, and tend to overadapt to other people. Because they are often unclear
about what they want, Nines have difficulty stating their preferences, but they can
later feel resentful that they went along with others and that their wishes were not
expressed or heard. By contrast, Fives withdraw from others and establish clear,
strong, and relatively immovable interpersonal boundaries that arise from a need
for autonomy and their fear of being depleted in these relationships. Fives are selfreferencing, focused more on their own thoughts and reactions, almost always
know what they want, and are adept at preventing others from interfering with
what they want to do.
Most Nines have great difficulty saying no or expressing their thoughts, feelings,
and preferences, particularly when they anticipate opposition from others. Nines
will say yes and meanno, while Fives say no far more easily and often and mean it.
In addition, because Nines crave harmonic connections with people, they often
have difficulty separating themselves from others. Fives separate from others very
easily, as withdrawal constitutes one of their primary forms of self-protection.
Consequently, Nines are often perceived as friendly, affable, and easygoing while
Fives tend to be viewed as aloof, reserved, and highly independent.
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Sixes and Sevens have several traits in common as both are mental styles and
primarily thinking-oriented. Sixes think about what might go wrong to proactively
prepare for it, and they think in contrarian terms, questioning ideas and opinions
they hear from others in an effort to find certainty. Sevens think about new and
interesting ideas, plan pleasurable and exciting future activities, and interrelate
and synthesize information from disparate sources. Consequently, the Sixs mind is
called the doubting mind and the Sevens mind is called the synthesizing mind.
Sixes and Sevens are quick thinkers with active imaginations, although Sixes
imagine worst-case scenarios or do rapid anticipatory problem solving, while
Sevens imagine highly positive scenarios. In particular, Sevens and counterphobic
(less overtly fearful) Sixes can appear very much alike as both move toward threats
or challenges in the environment and face dangers head on. Sevens use charm,
pleasantries, and an engaging self-presentation to disarm potential threats, and
counterphobic Sixes use strength and a willingness to intimidate if necessary. Sixes
and Sevens tend to think excessively and not move into action quickly; Sixes can
become preoccupied and even immobilized by doubt, while Sevens become
distracted by exciting ideas, new people, and external stimulation and often get
more excited by creating ideas than executing them.
Sixes and Sevens also differ in specific ways. Sevens tend to be highly optimistic
and adventurous, with a generally bright and positive outlook, and they reframe
negative situations by putting them in a positive context. They focus on positive
possibilities to keep themselves stimulated and moving forward as a way to
maintain their good feelings and to avoid pain and discomfort. At work, Sevens
expect success and usually appear highly confident. By contrast, Sixes describe
themselves as idealistic realists, often expecting things to go wrong especially
phobic Sixes and may unwittingly appear anxious, unconfident, and suspicious.
Careful and cautious, Sixes remain vigilant and watchful in order to anticipate
threats and prepare to overcome them. They can hardly avoid feeling pain and
distress because they continually second-guess themselves, question their own
ideas and those of others, challenge their own perceptions of reality, and scan their
environments for potential danger. In addition, Sevens are reluctant to make
commitments because these feel like constraints and limits, while Sixes tend to be
loyal, dedicated, and commit readily to those they trust.
Both Sixes and Sevens like to engage their teams as equals, but Sixes do so
because they believe there is greater safety in loyal and like-minded groups, and
Sevens think more voices means they are able to generate many more ideas. Both
have issues with authorities, although their concerns and reactions are very
different. Sixes are ambivalent toward authority figures; they hope these powerful
individuals will be just, fair, and cause no harm, while at the same time doubt they
will do so. As a result, Sixes try to demonstrate their loyalty through dutifulness,
but their become questioning, suspicious, rebellious, and challenging when
disenchanted or disturbed by an authority. Sevens equalize authority that is, they
simply deny hierarchical power relationships and perceive themselves as being on
the same level as their superiors. Sevens do this by befriending their bosses,
acting as if they are friends rather than in a boss-subordinate relationship; if this
fails, they ignore their bosses. Ultimately, Sevens may rebel and challenge their
bosses, but they only do this as an absolute last resort or are under extreme
duress.
best decisions?
Sixes and Eights can appear quite similar, particularly Eights and counterphobic
Sixes. In fact, they are often mistaken for one another. Both Eights and
counterphobic Sixes appear strong, invulnerable, and invincible and can intimidate
others, sometimes intentionally but always by their bold behavior. Both move
toward threatening or difficult situations, seemingly without fear, and they deal
with issues, challenges, and problems directly. However, Eights truly have very
little fear or no fear, while counterphobic Sixes push against threats as a way to
quell the deeply held fear that often resides below their conscious awareness. The
counterphobic Sixs behavior represents the fight part of the fight or flight
response to fear, whereas the phobic Sixs behavior represents the flight
response.
All Sixes and Eights tend to rebel against authority and both can be protective of
others they care about, but do so for different reasons. Eights tend to protect those
they perceive as abused and vulnerable and do so as a way to demonstrate their
strength that is, only the strong can protect the weak while Sixes are drawn to
support underdogs or underdog causes, fighting on behalf of these individuals as a
way to prove they have no fear. In addition, Sixes and Eights are very hardworking
and practical. Eights are prone to overwork because they want to move things
forward quickly and tend to be excessive about their activities, be it work, exercise,
or recreation. Sixes often overwork because they are afraid to not to do so. Sixes
believe they must continuously demonstrate their loyalty, dutifulness, and value to
their bosses and teammates in order to feel protected and safe in these
relationships.
Eights differ from Sixes in specific ways, although the contrasts are most obvious
between Eights and phobic Sixes. Eights seldom feel fearful or vulnerable; in fact,
their approach to life is based on denying their vulnerability and overcompensating
for this by being confident, powerful, and strong. Eights rarely engage in self-doubt.
They take immediate action, often without thinking a great deal beforehand, and
like to move things forward quickly, becoming impatient when others impede their
forward progress. Phobic Sixes, by contrast, feel fearful, anxious, and vulnerable
most of the time. They stay vigilant to threats and dangers, continually doubting
themselves. Because Sixes tend to over-think and overanalyze, they can become
immobilized and fail to take action or procrastinate and purposely slow themselves
down as a result of their fear that something bad may occur.
All Sixes inspect, investigate, and analyze other people to determine if these
individuals have hidden agendas or ulterior motives before they are willing to trust
them. Eights usually trust people who appear competent, reliable, and honest
that is, until their trust is broken. Eights also directly confront people and
situations. While counterphobic Sixes also do this, less phobic Sixes avoid conflict
unless they believe it is absolutely necessary or when confronted with an authority
figure they believe is unjust or when an underdog cause is at stake.
best decisions?
Sixes and Nines can look similar as both can be loyal, caring, and supportive of
others and both procrastinate. Sixes do so because they fear things might go
wrong in various the scenarios they have considered, while Nines put off work and
tasks because they have a difficult time setting and adhering to priorities or feel
resentful of the demands and pressure they feel. Both Nines and Sixes can resist
moving forward; Nines resist forward movement as a way to not do what others
want them to do, and Sixes resist as a result of their continuous questioning,
overanalysis, and doubt.
In addition, phobic Sixes and Nines are both conflict avoidant, although Nines have
a far greater aversion to direct confrontation. Sixes are primarily concerned that
they will be harmed or attacked as a result of conflict, whereas Nines are more
concerned that the relationship will be broken and disharmony will ensue.
Individuals of both styles tend to be self-effacing and humble, preferring to avoid
the spotlight. Sixes fear that even positive attention can make them vulnerable and
open to attack, while Nines are simply uncomfortable being the center of attention.
There are also significant differences between Sixes and Nines. Nines tend to
merge with others and trust easily. They go along to get along and over-adjust to
and comply with others preferences as a way to avoid the discomfort and potential
separation involved in saying no. Sixes initially separate themselves from others
and are suspicious until they gather enough information to determine whether or
not someone is trustworthy. In contrast to Nine, Sixes are naturally mistrustful of
others and may question or test people before agreeing to go along with someone
elses desires or plan of action.
Nines typically see and embrace many different points of view and usually serve as
mediators or facilitators when others are in conflict. By contrast, Sixes are far more
contrarian; they can see one point of view, then take the opposing side, and
continuously question and counter whatever perspective is put forward. Nines
dislike being in conflict with others and will suppress and repress their own anger
until they barely feel it. Sixes feel angry far more often, particularly counterphobic
Sixes who get angry and move toward conflict as a way of dealing with that is,
facing down their fear. Sixes and Nines also differ in how they respond to
authority. Sixes have very strong reactions to authority figures; they may love
them, hate them, or both but almost all Sixes have the capacity to be strongly antiauthority. Nines, by contrast, usually go along with and cooperate with authority
figures; when they are displeased with someone in authority, it is usually not
obvious or observable.
Sevens and Eights can look alike. Both tend to be visionary thinkers, able to see
the big picture and future possibilities, and they will engage in conflict if necessary,
although some Sevens feel more comfortable with confrontation than others. They
can both be uninhibited, self-indulgent, and excessive when it comes to seeking
pleasure, and individuals of both styles appreciate intense and stimulating
experiences. In interpersonal interactions, Sevens and Eights dislike being limited
or controlled by other people, and both can be rebellious, although Eights rebel
more openly and aggressively and Sevens use high-engagement and ideas when
they confront others. While Eights believe the best defense is a strong offense, and
Sevens believe that the best defense is a charm-based offense.
Both Sevens and Eights break the rules if it suits their purposes and easily
overbook themselves, taking on too much work. The Sevens overbooking reflects
their difficulty in saying no to exciting possibilities and intriguing activities that
arise, while the Eights overworking reflects their tendency to be excessive, to feel
responsible and compelled to get everything done immediately, and to ignore their
own physical limits. Eights and Sevens also avoid and deny emotions that make
them feel vulnerable for example, sadness and anxiety although Eights
primarily deny feelings that might make them look weak or helpless and Sevens
avoid pain and discomfort.
Significant differences also exist between Sevens and Eights. While Eights can
rebel against authority figures, they can also work well with authorities they
respect and enjoy being leaders themselves. By contrast, Sevens try to equalize
authority relationships, acting as if authorities have no real power to limit them.
They befriend their bosses and subordinates as a way of denying the existence of a
vertical power structure that has the ability to constrain them. Sevens can also be
rebellious with authorities, but this occurs only if befriending the person doesnt
work or ignoring the individual is not possible.
Sevens and Eights focus on very different things. Eights focus on power and
control, while Sevens focus on planning and pleasure. While individuals of both
styles have ready access to their anger, Eights are more likely to express it than
are Sevens. Eights are direct and like to move things forward in a strong and
forceful way, while Sevens have a difficult time focusing on work tasks for
extended periods of time, especially when the work does not excite them. Many
Sevens are more interested in creative idea generation than in the details of
execution. Although Eights also dislike boredom, they only become bored when
they no longer feel challenged by the size and scope of their work or when things
are running too smoothly. Eights, however, like to bring their projects to conclusion.
Sevens intellectualize as an escape from their feelings; difficult feelings such as
pain, anxiety, and sadness make them highly uncomfortable. When analyzing or
evaluating situations, Sevens look for positive possibilities and reframe negatives
issues into opportunities. Although some Eights are intellectual, Eights are far more
instinctual than intellectual, and they move immediately into action, often without
extensive analysis beforehand. For this reason, Eights usually appear far more
physically grounded and rooted than Sevens, who center of gravity most often
resides in their minds.
Sevens and Nines share some common traits. Both have friendly, optimistic
dispositions and have personable, affable interpersonal styles. They like to be
around people and want to be liked, and they act in ways that make it easy for
others to like them. Sevens and Nines keep things positive and avoid conflict if
possible, although many Sevens can engage in conflict when necessary while most
Nines prefer not to do so. Both can have difficulty maintaining a clear and
sustained focus on work projects; Sevens become distracted by interesting things,
external stimuli, and their desire to experience and do everything and Nines
become distracted that is, their attention becomes diffused because they forget
what they were supposed to be doing, do not follow their priorities, or just want to
take time off to do something relaxing and enjoyable.
Sevens and Nines also differ in several ways. While individuals of both styles are
primarily, albeit unconsciously, trying to avoid uncomfortable feelings, Sevens
pursue excitement, pleasure, and fun as a way of avoiding discomfort while Nines
avoid feelings they dont like to feel for example, anger and anxiety by
neglecting themselves and forgetting what they think and want. Sevens are
extremely fast-paced and high-energy and usually know what they want. Sevens
are self-referencing; they focus mainly on themselves and their desires usually take
priority over other peoples desires should these conflict. By contrast, Nines move
at a slower, more relaxed pace, even at times becoming inert. They are otherreferencing and pay attention primarily to what other people think, feel, and want;
they merge with others and tend to go along with the other persons preferences. It
is usually easier for Nines to know what they dont want or like than to know what
they do. They typically do not state their preferences and then become resentful
when they do something they do not like, even though they never said this was the
case.
Eights and Nines share some characteristics. Both dislike being controlled by
others, but they differ in how they respond to the experience of anothers
attempted control. Eights openly rebel, fight against, and even try to overpower
the person trying to control them, while Nines take a much more passive approach,
seeming to agree or go along while passively resisting that is, they say yes but
have no intention of doing it. Eights and Nines can be self-forgetting of their own
needs and wants; Eights do this by being excessive, overworking, and taking on
too many responsibilities, while Nines forget themselves by focusing on others and
losing conscious contact with their own emotions, sensations, and priorities. Both
enjoy worldly comforts and pleasures for example, food, television, an engaging
past time, or interacting with others who interest them and, as instinctual or Body
Center styles, both trust their gut reactions, although Eights tend to have stronger
gut responses than most Nines.
Eights and Nines also differ in key ways. Eights focus primarily on power and
control and usually have strong opinions that they assert in a direct,
straightforward manner. They feel anger frequently and have a far easier time
engaging in and initiating conflict. By contrast, Nines dislike conflict and
interpersonal tension and pay most attention to creating harmony and avoiding
conflict. In the Nines mind, limiting the intensity of their anger reduces the
possibility that others will be upset with them or that tension will ensue. Nines are
reluctant to what they think and even more conflicted about expressing something
that may be contrary to anothers perspective. From their perspective, having an
opinion means risking conflict, and it is simply not worth it.
Nines easily consider multiple points of view and are open to seeing and discussing
many sides of an issue; this makes them excellent facilitators and mediators. At
the same time, Nines have trouble setting boundaries and even more difficulty
saying no. By contrast, Eights see their own view most clearly and perceive most
issues in terms of black and white, with little room for nuance or contingency. They
expect things go their way, have an easy time asserting their will, and have little
difficulty saying no.
Eights and Nines are quite different interpersonally. Eights can be perceived as
intimidating, a result of their certainty, boldness, and take-charge attitude. They
usually have a big impact on others as their presence can be strongly felt even
when they are being quiet. People rarely perceive Nines to be aggressive; with
their friendly, easygoing manner, Nines are usually affable and approachable. At
work, Eights break the rules easily, make up their own when they feel like it, and
frequently rebel against authority. Nines, by contrast, like clear structure,
predictable processes, and work easily work with authorities.

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ONES seek a perfect world and work diligently to improve both themselves and

everyone and everything around them.

to manage others perceptions of them. Sevens pay little attention to gaining

experiencing a wide range of emotions. From the their perspective, feeling

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