My Gorean Experience

Let me preface that I am NOT looking for discussion or opposing views on here. Please
take it into a personal message if you'd like to debate Gorean topics or Master/slave
philosophy in general with me.
Also please see my thoughts on Gorean Lifestyle in my main profile if you question
my respect for other lifestyle in D/s, sexuality, and gender.

So many people have asked me about this so I've chosen the most important snippets
from my conversations to cut and paste here about my basics living as a gorean slave
and then you can ask whatever you want of me privately.
I don't know how much I can tell you about day-to-day gorean life from a "Free person's"
point of view (non-slaves), but I can tell you a bit about me and my slavery.
Here's the part most people have a problem with in Gor: Men are naturally dominant.
Women are naturally submissive. Even that isn't absolute in gorean philosophy though.
However, that is the gist of it, bottom line. If you're voluntarily leading a gorean
Master/slave relationship, you should be aspiring to that sentiment. If you're not, then
you're kind of missing the point of it. A slave may have a single owner, or belong to a
home, or be abandoned on the street but they are still a slave. Any non-slave is within
their rights to command and discipline that slave.
A gorean slave has the same value as good work horse has to a farmer. This is probably
the best analogy I can give. A lot of new goreans are apt to mistreat a slave because
goreans preach that a slave has no rights, etc etc. But you wouldn't hurt a brand new
car or your dog, would you? Gorean kajirae (slaves) have value, they're supposed to be
taken care of but of course not coddled and well disciplined. A work horse is useless if
it's too stubborn to pull a plow.
Day-to-day is so hard in the gorean lifestyle because reality just doesn't mesh well. To
make it work, the entire community you live in really has to be in on it. There's
kindness, there's valuing a slave, but it's a bit different than the concept in bdsm 24-7
relationships. A gorean slave is a slave to all non-slaves. Period. All non-slaves are
Master/Mistress to a gorean slave.
Part of what drove my last relationship into the ground was that my Master wanted to
see me happy and healthy. And because we lived days travel away from each other,
that meant in normal society I had to be able to support myself, pay bills, pursue
interests, develop confidence in areas other than serving. So he wanted me to work and
go to school and save money. The problem is that the more I got involved in my own
life, the less I was able to balance 24/7 absolute submission. Maybe others can do it, but
having been through it myself, I highly doubt that. It's not as simple as having a frame
of mind "it's what Master wants, it's all for him." In fact, the concepts behind many of

the "styles" of handling slaves in Gor include the idea that a slave needs a constant
reminder of her place. I found that to be ABSOLUTELY true. Especially when it comes to
interacting with other slaves or Free people who don't quite treat you well. The concept
of a slave being self-directing outside of her duties to her owner undermines the
concept of the "slave-belly" (a woman's natureal desire to submit) in gorean philosophy.
Women are supposed to be unable to meet the fullness of their submission without
absolute vulnerability to their owner. Eventually my Master shipped me to Alaska for a
home opportunity when I was living on the streets in NYC (my family pretty much
expelled me), and we tried long distance for about 2 years but we just couldn't make it
work.
Another difficult part is that Gorean lifestyle kind of assumes a non-consenting
participation of all persons. You read up, so you know that a slave is a slave to all Free
people. Well, that's great, except not everyone wants to be served. Not everyone wants
to be drawn into your kink, be called Master or Mistress, etc. But the neat thing is that
slaves who mesh up with gorean philosophy I think have a real passion for serving that
isn't necessarily confined to being sexual or kinky, and so just helping out, just being a
part of the community, just being considerate and polite to people is a way to express
gorean practices in real life without violating other people's lives.
And so it happened as it naturally tends to in distant gorean M/s relationships that part
of why things didn't work for us was because I needed, craved, absolutely had to have
consistent discipline,regiments, and rituals. I need expectations to be accounted for. I
needed to have my place constantly reminded to me. I needed every-day small things
to be done as a slave. That just got too hard the further away we got from each other.
My lack of maturity and mental house-keeping added to the difficulties... because for an
obedient kajira, actively improving my mood, challenging distorted thoughts, and
working on self-care is essential. Note the word obedient, I'll explain why in a bit. My
mental health issues made it impossible for me to be absolutely obedient because I had
a limited ability to self-regulate. I say with pride that I've made tremendous strides in
my mental health and am a much happier, safe, and regulated person.
One strength I did have though was the ability to be self-critical and open-minded. A
gorean slave needs to really be able to shut up and listen, put aside their morality, put
aside the idea of having honor, and be a working part of the Master's morality. A kajira
has no honor. No honor in being a slave. No morality of her own, no identity other than
the one her Master allows her to develop. This comes to head in the real world. For
example, I had a real issue with certain friends of my Master's who he gamed with. I was
deeply offended, and had I not been his slave, I probably would have called them out on
their bullshit and stopped playing with them. Because I believe so strongly in
community and being supportive of each other. But that's honor, ego, and personal
morality - none of which I should have been entitled to. None the less, it snuck into our
relationship because of the way he loved me. And let me differentiate right here. It's
perfectly expected, natural, and ok to have these ideas, thoughts, and feelings as a
gorean slave. It is in no way ok to act on them as an obedient kajira. Too many times
I've heard misguided philosophies about a gorean slave being only truly that if she is
absolutely obedient. While this may be an idealism strived for in gorean training

philosophies, it is in no way an accurate philosophy as to what makes a female a slave.

Lack of obedience is NOT evidence of a lack of the slave belly. If you actually read the
books, this is fairly obvious. But I digress...
...these gamers were people that saw no problem with manipulating and taking
advantage of others. My Master didn't really care. His opinion was that we didn't know
them well, they were just gamer friends, had no influence in our lives, and so he wasn't
going to get into a brawl with hem. So I had to put that aside and follow his lead. The
examples go on and on... he would invite the companionship of fellow "goreans" that
were really just women-haters and were very verbally degrading. I was not allowed to
tell them off, or stick up for myself, or show anything less than my most enthusiastic
service. They were Master.
Role-players like to spread around the idea that perfect slave is absolutely obedient and
while it's true that's ideal behavior trained for, it's not the expectation of the natural
tendencies slaves have. There's a yin-yang kind of deal. Men act with honor (a very
specific definition of it) and the women grow in their desire to submit. Women submit
fully, and the men will increase their desire to dominate. If you don't feed the
Master/slave relationship with that accountability, then as a slave, I'm likely to do a
number of things like act out to get your attention, forget my place, or have a reduced
desire to serve. So when we started out, he was really on top of things. He cut the
drama out of my life real quick by making it simple: If I did anything to reflect badly on
him, I would get one warning punishment, and after that I'd be released. Of course it
came up naturally in a group of friends one day, and he punished me - and it was
embarrassing. Not fun. I was deeply ashamed of myself. So I swallowed jealousy and
cattiness and started serving without gossiping and before I knew it... I can't even
explain it in words.
It's so different. I've come to admire little nuances about dominant men without
discrimination. The ability to make decisions. The ability to manage your affairs.
Watching you communicate with others, conduct business, conduct relationships. The
ability to command, but without making it a matter of ego. The ability to be functional.
It doesn't matter the age, the body type... it just matters that the man is a respectable
intelligent and productive person. That's all it takes for me to become absolutely
devoted to serving them.
I have personal preferences of course, but gorean submission and dominance is a very
gender specific type of M/s that makes you so so SO appreciate men as a woman for
every little nuance. And that has nothing to do with gender or sexuality or role. It's
purely deep admiration for a man who is able to conduct his life effectively.
No, our relationship, for the 5 years that it was, was not 100% gorean. It couldn't be,
and he couldn't really give that to me. I have no idea if I could really offer it. but we kept
the spirit of gorean philosophy as best as we could and made adjustments for society because making it work in real life is pretty much the meat of the experience. It's not
real if it doesn't work on a day-to-day basis. Total immersion, where the simplest thing
in life like changing a kid's diaper becomes part of your submission and your slavery. It

sounds kinda perfect but it wasn't. We both had moods, and yeah, we had sex when I
didn't want to, but I appreciated that he allowed his mood to dictate mine. And in
return, he made sure I was safe an healthy and in general happy.
We fought though, as the time apart increased, even more. I kinda snapped out of slave
mode, he snapped out of Master mode. We'd get into arguments that lasted weeks and
when it was over we'd fall back into our roles. It wasn't something that we formally
negotiated, we just kinda learned to recognize the point where the other person was
just DONE. As a slave, the first few times was kind hard because I was torn between
knowing that technically there's no "break" from gorean slavery. If you're going to be
100% gorean, you really have to learn to resolve issues in that M/s dynamic. But we
couldn't. I'd get too angry and he was too kind to punish me when I was hurting. So I
carried around a lot of guilt when I backtalked or gave the silent treatment. Eventually
he learned that if I was being absolutely silent and obedient, there was something
wrong and real-life demanded we step out of the gorean lifestyle and resolve whatever
was going on. It worked for us. Neither of us will claim we're 100% gorean all the time.
The flogger is kind of a dynamic symbol in gor... an instrument of discipline as well as a
constant reminder of a girl's slavery. It's not really meant to be an instrument of
pleasure, but at the same time there is definitely an intended arousal that comes from
that reminder. I do love impact play, and many other kids of play that Gorean
philosophy would view as a sick and twisted expression of what men and women really
desire but cannot have because the constraints in our society. So again, I'm not a 100%
gorean, and this is also one of a few reasons that yes - I DO consider gorean lifestyle to
be overlapping but separate from BDSM.
I love Gor. Gor allows me to be free. It takes the control out my hands. I really
appreciate that it doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong, whether I like or dislike
something. What matters is if I've been pleasing. Not for my sake, but for my Master's
sake. It is just and incredibly freeing and comforting experience that I whole-heartedly
miss. I got really lucky, finding someone to be your Master that also so intimately loves
you is not easy. I wish it would have been forever.
'What are my duties?' I asked.
'Exquisite beauty and absolute obedience,' said Sucha.
Slave Girl of Gor
I don't consider myself a practicing gorean at this time, but I do relate to gorean
philosophy and lifestyle. It's very natural to me. I'm really passionate about this. Ask me
anything else you'd like, but know that when it comes to Gor... I deal with absolutes.