1

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[cell door slams]
2
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[theme song playing]
3
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[cell door slams]
4
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[cell door slams]
5
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Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
6
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[in sultry voice] I'd butter your toast.
7
00:01:14,601 --> 00:01:16,644
I'd feed her dog.
8
00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:20,607
I'd zip his sweater.
9
00:01:20,690 --> 00:01:21,858
Mmm.
10
00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:22,942
[in normal voice] See?
11
00:01:23,025 --> 00:01:25,653
It doesn't matter what
you say, as long as it's...
12
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,905
[in sultry voice]
"I'd blank your blank."
13
00:01:27,989 --> 00:01:28,990
[chuckles]
14
00:01:29,073 --> 00:01:31,784
[in normal voice] It
all sounds dirty, always.

15
00:01:31,868 --> 00:01:34,203
[in sultry voice] I'd
disembowel his cat.
16
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:35,622
That is not sexy.
17
00:01:35,705 --> 00:01:37,582
No, she did not say that right.
18
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:40,084
I'd scratch that eczema.
19
00:01:40,167 --> 00:01:42,879
Oh, she is killing your
theory, here, Doggett.
20
00:01:42,962 --> 00:01:45,673
Well, her exception
proves the rules, 'cause...
21
00:01:45,757 --> 00:01:48,551
you guys gotta know,
my boyfriend, Arlen...
22
00:01:48,635 --> 00:01:49,886
[exhales]
23
00:01:49,969 --> 00:01:52,013
He was the master of it. [moans]
24
00:01:52,096 --> 00:01:55,850
He'd bed you whispering, [in sultry
voice] "I'd light your crack pipe"?
25
00:01:56,726 --> 00:01:59,521
I didn't smoke crack.
Crack's for coloreds.
26
00:01:59,604 --> 00:02:00,813
- [in normal voice] Oh, is it, now?
- N...
27
00:02:02,106 --> 00:02:04,901
African Americans. Crack
is for African Americans.

28
00:02:04,984 --> 00:02:06,486
Maybe you should just drive.
29
00:02:06,569 --> 00:02:08,029
I am drivin'.
30
00:02:08,112 --> 00:02:10,239
I gotta say, these cup holders are nice.
31
00:02:10,322 --> 00:02:14,326
The air works. Seats don't
smell like hot dog juice.
32
00:02:14,410 --> 00:02:16,663
Maybe we should get all
of our terminal inmates
33
00:02:16,746 --> 00:02:18,581
to drive our outdated
crap into a quarry.
34
00:02:18,665 --> 00:02:20,875
Gotta give it to the baldy, though.
35
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:23,335
She had some set of balls.
36
00:02:23,419 --> 00:02:25,505
You know, a man went bald...
37
00:02:25,588 --> 00:02:26,839
and he bawled.
38
00:02:26,923 --> 00:02:28,550
[mimics sobbing]
39
00:02:28,633 --> 00:02:30,677
But then he met a
really nice lady who...
40
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,136
She liked a clean head, right?
41
00:02:32,219 --> 00:02:34,597
So he balled her real good.

42
00:02:34,681 --> 00:02:37,474
So you got "bald," "bawled,"
and "balled," right?
43
00:02:37,559 --> 00:02:41,228
They all sound alike, but
they're all spelled different.
44
00:02:41,312 --> 00:02:42,354
[chuckles] Isn't that wild?
45
00:02:42,438 --> 00:02:43,856
My mom taught me that.
46
00:02:43,940 --> 00:02:46,150
She taught me so many cool things.
47
00:02:50,029 --> 00:02:51,781
Come on, hon. Get it all down.
48
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:55,117
That's right.
49
00:02:55,201 --> 00:02:56,786
Chug, chug, chug.
50
00:02:58,495 --> 00:03:00,163
Hey! All of it!
51
00:03:02,541 --> 00:03:04,001
Finish that bottle.
52
00:03:04,085 --> 00:03:05,587
[young Pennsatucky grunting]
53
00:03:05,670 --> 00:03:08,339
[Debbie] See for yourself
she ain't right in the head.
54
00:03:08,422 --> 00:03:12,093
Never had all what
belongs to her, poor thing.
55
00:03:13,135 --> 00:03:14,846
But we take what the Lord gives us.

56
00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,808
Anyhow, so's I understand it,
57
00:03:18,891 --> 00:03:21,811
supplemental security income benefits
for little Bessie bugs like mine
58
00:03:21,894 --> 00:03:24,563
is $314 a month.
59
00:03:25,648 --> 00:03:27,274
Is that right?
60
00:03:27,358 --> 00:03:28,776
[Maxwell] How many kids
are coming for Mother's Day?
61
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:32,989
A lot. Some of our ladies,
they have three, four, seven.
62
00:03:33,072 --> 00:03:34,365
[exhales]
63
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:35,783
I would have had five.
64
00:03:36,784 --> 00:03:38,202
Or six...
65
00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:41,581
if you count the one that fell
out after the night in the caves.
66
00:03:41,664 --> 00:03:42,665
Huh.
67
00:03:42,749 --> 00:03:45,918
Would have been a miracle
baby, like Tim Tebow.
68
00:03:46,002 --> 00:03:47,962
Based on the state of your
mouth when you came in,
69
00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:50,506

I'm gonna say your baby wasn't

on the star athlete track.
70
00:03:50,590 --> 00:03:53,460
Oh, yeah? Well... neither was Tim Tebow.
71
00:03:54,510 --> 00:03:55,970
You know, when his mama was pregnant,
72
00:03:56,053 --> 00:03:57,096
she had the sickness
73
00:03:57,179 --> 00:03:58,973
and the doctors told
her not to have the baby,
74
00:03:59,056 --> 00:04:00,557
but she had it anyhow.
75
00:04:00,642 --> 00:04:04,103
And she was on dysentery
medicine and in Filipino town.
76
00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:06,073
He wasn't such a great quarterback.
77
00:04:07,106 --> 00:04:08,149
Oh.
78
00:04:08,232 --> 00:04:10,777
Like you so great at football. [scoffs]
79
00:04:10,860 --> 00:04:12,194
I may have kids one day.
80
00:04:12,278 --> 00:04:13,905
One day? You got a time machine?
81
00:04:13,988 --> 00:04:15,865
The women in my family
have very young ovaries.
82
00:04:15,948 --> 00:04:17,659
My mother had me at 49.
83
00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:19,952

Her mother had my Uncle Chess, at 52.

84
00:04:20,036 --> 00:04:21,120
I got plenty of time.
85
00:04:21,203 --> 00:04:22,997
We believe what we believe.
86
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,124
You guys, look at this...
look at this sale stuff.
87
00:04:25,207 --> 00:04:27,543
We should just bring back
all this Cinco de Mayo.
88
00:04:27,669 --> 00:04:28,711
I mean, look.
89
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,759
"Fiesta like there's no maana."
90
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,343
Seriously.
91
00:04:36,427 --> 00:04:38,763
You know most of the
kids are gonna be Mexican,
92
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,097
so make 'em feel at home.
93
00:04:40,181 --> 00:04:42,141
Just get 'em one of
these red chili piatas,
94
00:04:42,224 --> 00:04:45,144
a bunch of these... green
candies from St. Patrick's Day,
95
00:04:45,227 --> 00:04:46,562
and we got a party.
96
00:04:46,646 --> 00:04:47,772
Doggett, enough.
97

00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:49,023

The only reason why you're in here
98
00:04:49,106 --> 00:04:51,400
is 'cause we couldn't
leave you in the van.
99
00:05:00,702 --> 00:05:02,787
Let's go price the helium tanks.
100
00:05:06,916 --> 00:05:08,334
[exhaling]
101
00:05:10,865 --> 00:05:11,949
You all right?
102
00:05:11,951 --> 00:05:13,119
I'm fine.
103
00:05:13,673 --> 00:05:14,924
[breathing deeply]
104
00:05:15,675 --> 00:05:17,176
Are you havin' a panic attack?
105
00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,721
I'm breathing mindfully.
106
00:05:19,804 --> 00:05:21,764
I'm supposed to do it to 108...
107
00:05:21,848 --> 00:05:25,559
and then do it again if I'm
not feeling any better...
108
00:05:25,642 --> 00:05:27,436
even though I never feel better.
109
00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,522
Now I lost count. Shit!
110
00:05:30,606 --> 00:05:31,648
[groans]
111
00:05:32,025 --> 00:05:33,118
Where did you learn this?

112
00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,494
Some magazine. I don't know.
113
00:05:35,496 --> 00:05:37,214
I'm just trying to
find some fuckin' peace.
114
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:41,978
Holy shit, look who's back.
115
00:05:42,061 --> 00:05:43,104
You missed me, right?
116
00:05:43,187 --> 00:05:46,107
- Like a bulldog misses his balls.
- [chuckles]
117
00:05:46,190 --> 00:05:47,691
You're in that bunk.
118
00:05:49,860 --> 00:05:51,695
I can't sleep on the top bunk.
119
00:05:51,779 --> 00:05:53,614
- Yeah, well, not the top.
- [Anita] Oh, no. Uh-uh.
120
00:05:53,697 --> 00:05:55,866
That's Rosa's bed. Back it up.
121
00:05:55,950 --> 00:05:57,701
DeMarco, she's been
assigned to that bunk.
122
00:05:57,785 --> 00:05:59,328
Show some respect for the dead.
123
00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:08,289
[groans]
124
00:06:08,339 --> 00:06:10,967
Red, I know you from the first
night I spent in this room,
125
00:06:11,132 --> 00:06:13,426

but you take one more thing down,

I'm gonna reopen your head wounds.
126
00:06:13,509 --> 00:06:15,094
Wanna build a shrine to Rosa?
127
00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:17,221
Build it somewhere she had joy...
128
00:06:17,305 --> 00:06:21,475
not on this miserable bed
where she lay dying of cancer.
129
00:06:21,559 --> 00:06:23,394
The woman went out like a champ.
130
00:06:24,562 --> 00:06:25,771
Tough fuckin' broad.
131
00:06:25,854 --> 00:06:27,231
You want any of this?
132
00:06:27,315 --> 00:06:29,275
Yeah, the playin' cards.
133
00:06:29,358 --> 00:06:31,569
She was a good card player.
134
00:06:34,822 --> 00:06:35,949
[Sister Ingalls] How you doing, Red?
135
00:06:36,032 --> 00:06:37,825
[Red] Strangest thing...
136
00:06:37,908 --> 00:06:41,044
ever since the assault I
speak with this Russian accent.
137
00:06:41,829 --> 00:06:43,831
- You still having headaches?
- Yeah. [groans]
138
00:06:44,958 --> 00:06:47,251
Trying to wean myself off the pills.
139
00:06:47,335 --> 00:06:50,129

I can't stand feeling

foggy all the time.
140
00:06:51,255 --> 00:06:52,673
You got any on ya?
141
00:06:52,756 --> 00:06:54,800
A few. I've been cheeking them.
142
00:06:56,135 --> 00:06:57,178
Here.
143
00:06:57,610 --> 00:06:58,587
How much you want?
144
00:06:58,928 --> 00:07:00,077
Nothin'.
145
00:07:00,079 --> 00:07:02,475
[chuckles] You don't give
anything away for free.
146
00:07:02,558 --> 00:07:04,227
I've turned over a new leaf.
147
00:07:04,742 --> 00:07:06,687
Wait. That's been in your mouth?
148
00:07:07,409 --> 00:07:08,701
Briefly, yes.
149
00:07:08,856 --> 00:07:11,150
Ugh. Shkeeve. No offense.
150
00:07:11,234 --> 00:07:13,861
I only share spit with
my man and my babies.
151
00:07:16,114 --> 00:07:17,156
I'll take it.
152
00:07:24,749 --> 00:07:27,794
Mother's Day Fair...
expanded visitation...
153
00:07:28,084 --> 00:07:30,753

it fosters the inmates'

connection to the outside world.
154
00:07:30,836 --> 00:07:33,381
These women forget they
have lives on the outside,
155
00:07:33,464 --> 00:07:34,673
it affects how they behave in here.
156
00:07:34,757 --> 00:07:37,010
Maybe they forget for good reason.
157
00:07:37,093 --> 00:07:40,554
Well, that's your job to worry
about now. You're the expert.
158
00:07:40,638 --> 00:07:42,431
Not really. My degree's in cosmetology.
159
00:07:42,515 --> 00:07:43,557
My whole rsum's a lie.
160
00:07:43,641 --> 00:07:45,393
But you would be amazed
what ladies will reveal
161
00:07:45,476 --> 00:07:47,061
while you're bleaching their arm hair.
162
00:07:47,979 --> 00:07:51,232
[stammers] I don't know you
that well. You're joking, right?
163
00:07:51,315 --> 00:07:53,317
'Cause I just got everything
square around here,
164
00:07:53,401 --> 00:07:54,527
and it's been an uphill climb.
165
00:07:54,610 --> 00:07:55,878
So I heard.
166
00:07:56,404 --> 00:07:57,696
Now, what'd you hear?

167
00:07:57,780 --> 00:08:01,534
That you got caught in a shit-storm,
but you put up a sturdy umbrella.
168
00:08:01,617 --> 00:08:02,994
Yeah, well, it's starting to leak.
169
00:08:03,077 --> 00:08:07,248
Now I'm doing Madame Shit-Storm's
job, along with doing my old job,
170
00:08:07,331 --> 00:08:09,792
which the powers-that-be
have yet to fill.
171
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:10,918
[sighs]
172
00:08:11,002 --> 00:08:12,670
I'm doin' two jobs.
173
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,838
Do you resent that the
administration hired me
174
00:08:14,922 --> 00:08:16,799
before finding a
replacement for your old job?
175
00:08:17,966 --> 00:08:19,052
Are you analyzin' me?
176
00:08:19,135 --> 00:08:20,178
No.
177
00:08:20,261 --> 00:08:23,056
I just don't want any shade
without having been given a shot.
178
00:08:23,139 --> 00:08:24,807
My beef's not with you.
179
00:08:24,890 --> 00:08:26,350
What'd you hear about me?
180
00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:29,062

That you're smart and

you're qualified and...
181
00:08:29,145 --> 00:08:30,188
you said yes.
182
00:08:31,147 --> 00:08:33,607
Does my saying yes maybe
cancel out the smart part?
183
00:08:34,525 --> 00:08:35,507
How's this?
184
00:08:35,509 --> 00:08:38,586
Welcome to Litchfield, where
your services are needed
185
00:08:38,588 --> 00:08:42,134
in both the counseling
and hair removal arenas.
186
00:08:42,408 --> 00:08:44,827
These are complicated ladies
in a complicated place.
187
00:08:44,910 --> 00:08:46,204
[Taystee] Yo!
188
00:08:46,287 --> 00:08:49,332
Mr. Caputo! That your girlfriend?
189
00:08:49,415 --> 00:08:52,085
I had a feeling you had a
thing for the darker berries.
190
00:08:53,419 --> 00:08:55,671
Jefferson, this is Counselor Rogers.
191
00:08:55,754 --> 00:08:57,881
Counselor? What about Mr. Healy?
192
00:08:57,965 --> 00:08:58,966
He's still here.
193
00:08:59,050 --> 00:09:01,427
Huh. This is gonna get interestin'.

194
00:09:01,510 --> 00:09:03,179
Is it? How so?
195
00:09:03,262 --> 00:09:05,013
Jefferson, why don't you go help set up?
196
00:09:05,098 --> 00:09:06,640
Yes, sir, mas'er.
197
00:09:08,642 --> 00:09:10,144
Mr. Caputo, sir.
198
00:09:10,228 --> 00:09:11,229
What do you want, Bennett?
199
00:09:11,312 --> 00:09:12,730
Sir, all the lights in C-Dorm went out,
200
00:09:12,813 --> 00:09:14,982
so I sent some of the girls in
electrical down to take a look at it.
201
00:09:15,066 --> 00:09:17,151
They're not girls,
Bennett. They're inmates.
202
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:18,736
Or women.
203
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,071
Or electricians.
204
00:09:20,154 --> 00:09:21,280
What's your point?
205
00:09:22,490 --> 00:09:25,076
Um, well, the lights are back on now.
206
00:09:25,159 --> 00:09:27,453
It's a great story.
Thank you for sharing.
207
00:09:29,497 --> 00:09:31,332
- Berdie Rogers, new counselor.
- Hi.

208
00:09:31,415 --> 00:09:33,167
Officer Bennett...
209
00:09:33,251 --> 00:09:35,253
is there anything else
you'd like to tell us?
210
00:09:35,336 --> 00:09:36,879
Nice to meet you.
211
00:09:41,675 --> 00:09:43,010
What's goin' on there?
212
00:09:43,094 --> 00:09:45,554
[sighs] Nothing. It's nothing.
213
00:09:45,638 --> 00:09:48,307
How about we go on a tour of the
dorms in all their well-lit glory?
214
00:09:53,646 --> 00:09:55,648
Everybody says she's got magic.
215
00:09:55,731 --> 00:09:58,734
Did she touch it, too? I
wanna know that she touched it.
216
00:09:59,652 --> 00:10:03,406
Mmm-hmm. She touched it. She blessed it.
217
00:10:03,489 --> 00:10:04,490
- [gasps]
- Oh, shit.
218
00:10:04,573 --> 00:10:05,699
[inmate] What does that mean?
219
00:10:06,784 --> 00:10:08,994
[gasps] Hasan put a
curse on me, didn't he?
220
00:10:09,077 --> 00:10:10,746
That's a cursed egg.
221
00:10:10,829 --> 00:10:13,124
I'll lose a foot.

222
00:10:13,207 --> 00:10:14,750
Bobo will attack all the quail.
223
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:16,877
It's not a cursed egg.
My hand slipped, okay?
224
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:19,213
Why don't you go get cleaned up,
and then we'll start all over again?
225
00:10:19,297 --> 00:10:21,882
We're gonna do a whole thing, okay? Go.
226
00:10:21,965 --> 00:10:25,136
[inmate] I'm all eggy now.
It's gonna attract snakes.
227
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:26,470
I know. That's not good.
228
00:10:27,090 --> 00:10:29,849
Now what does the egg do? You
makin' somebody else go away?
229
00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:31,267
I'm making an omelet.
230
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,311
I got no scraps for your hooch today,
231
00:10:33,394 --> 00:10:36,397
and I am still waiting on
my jar from the last batch.
232
00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:39,400
Okay, it's comin'. A few
more days. It's gonna be good.
233
00:10:39,483 --> 00:10:41,444
Listen, we were thinkin' of doin', like,
234
00:10:41,527 --> 00:10:43,279
a little game booth for the kids,
235

00:10:43,362 --> 00:10:47,115

where they throw Ping-Pong balls into
little bowls of water. Win a prize.
236
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,284
Can I borrow some bowls?
237
00:10:48,367 --> 00:10:50,473
Where you gonna get some
Ping-Pong balls around here?
238
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,756
Found a bunch in the warehouse.
239
00:10:51,758 --> 00:10:54,743
They're old as fuck and mostly
dented, but they'll work.
240
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:56,875
What are you gonna do for prizes?
241
00:10:57,238 --> 00:10:59,837
Buy some Tootsie Rolls
from commissary...
242
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,046
dole them out.
243
00:11:02,215 --> 00:11:03,257
That's nice of you.
244
00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:05,676
Yeah, well, it's y'all's day.
245
00:11:05,759 --> 00:11:08,554
Must be hard as fuck bein' in here
when you got kids on the outside.
246
00:11:08,637 --> 00:11:09,680
Your kids comin'?
247
00:11:09,763 --> 00:11:12,766
Yeah... for the first
time in a long time.
248
00:11:12,850 --> 00:11:15,644
My ta, she moved back into the city.

249
00:11:15,728 --> 00:11:17,771
Don't forget to call
your mother tomorrow.
250
00:11:19,022 --> 00:11:20,190
Oh, my mom's passed.
251
00:11:23,236 --> 00:11:24,612
- I'm sorry.
- Yeah.
252
00:11:26,196 --> 00:11:27,448
- Mira, Blanca!
- [Blanca] Eh?
253
00:11:27,531 --> 00:11:31,452
Why don't you get this one some of
those fruit cocktail-sized bowls?
254
00:11:32,453 --> 00:11:33,454
I won a goldfish once
255
00:11:33,537 --> 00:11:35,163
[speaking Spanish]
in one of those games.
256
00:11:36,123 --> 00:11:37,165
Tequila, we named him.
257
00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,751
[speaking English] We gave
him, like, Froot Loops to eat.
258
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,210
Like 12 years that thing lived...
259
00:11:40,294 --> 00:11:42,588
until my cousin, Antoni,
ate him on a dare.
260
00:11:42,671 --> 00:11:44,006
Fucking asshole.
261
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:47,217
I'm definitely a carbon monoxide guy.

262
00:11:48,093 --> 00:11:50,554
Put on some tunes,
breathe deep, go out easy.
263
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,724
- Maybe pills.
- Figures.
264
00:11:53,807 --> 00:11:55,183
What do you mean, "figures"?
265
00:11:55,268 --> 00:11:57,060
Pills are expensive.
266
00:11:58,228 --> 00:11:59,229
But you don't even think about that.
267
00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:02,275
Well, I didn't realize that my
hypothetical suicide had a budget.
268
00:12:02,358 --> 00:12:04,067
Some of us have to
think about these things.
269
00:12:04,151 --> 00:12:06,153
I make 11 cents an hour.
270
00:12:06,236 --> 00:12:08,947
When I get outta here,
I will have no home...
271
00:12:09,031 --> 00:12:12,576
I will have no job... and
not a whole lot of prospects.
272
00:12:12,660 --> 00:12:14,745
All the more reason to
start thinking economically.
273
00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:17,290
Welcome to the real world, princess.
274
00:12:17,373 --> 00:12:19,207
This is not a healthy discussion.
275

00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:23,128

You know, when you go to a shooting range,
you don't have to pay until you leave.
276
00:12:23,362 --> 00:12:24,906
So you can check out a gun...
277
00:12:25,631 --> 00:12:27,758
shoot yourself right there.
Wouldn't cost you a cent.
278
00:12:28,801 --> 00:12:30,678
I would like to change
the subject, please.
279
00:12:32,262 --> 00:12:34,890
You know, the... hot one's back.
280
00:12:34,973 --> 00:12:36,850
What do you mean, "the hot one"?
281
00:12:36,934 --> 00:12:37,935
Your girlfriend.
282
00:12:39,645 --> 00:12:41,439
The Bettie Page of Litchfield.
283
00:12:43,231 --> 00:12:44,317
Alex is back?
284
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:47,901
I gotta go find her.
285
00:12:47,903 --> 00:12:50,805
- Oh, hey! You're on the clock here.
- Well, can I go early?
286
00:12:51,014 --> 00:12:51,907
Sure.
287
00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,410
Why don't you grab a happy hour
cocktail with her at TGI Fridays?
288
00:12:54,493 --> 00:12:56,733
- You wanna put in for vacation time, too?
- Okay, okay, all right.

289
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,514
Finish your fucking job.
290
00:12:59,332 --> 00:13:01,083
It's not like she's goin' anywhere.
291
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:02,876
And to be honest, she
looked a little rough.
292
00:13:04,086 --> 00:13:06,254
It sucks when hot chicks
start to cool down.
293
00:13:07,506 --> 00:13:10,509
[man speaking indistinctly on PA]
294
00:13:10,593 --> 00:13:11,719
Okay, okay, listen up.
295
00:13:11,802 --> 00:13:14,179
If you don't have children comin'
today, please come back another time.
296
00:13:14,262 --> 00:13:16,432
And for all you mothers,
it's a numbers day.
297
00:13:16,515 --> 00:13:17,725
No special request.
298
00:13:17,808 --> 00:13:20,653
I only wanna trim so I look the
same as the last time I saw her.
299
00:13:20,936 --> 00:13:22,980
It's called object permanence.
300
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,358
It's also called
boring... but you the boss.
301
00:13:26,734 --> 00:13:28,444
And what are we doin' with you today?
302

00:13:28,527 --> 00:13:30,988

I'll take number seven, please.
303
00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:34,116
You excited for Mother's Day?
304
00:13:34,199 --> 00:13:36,827
Oh, yeah, all my kids are comin'.
305
00:13:36,910 --> 00:13:39,788
Little Donovan and baby Frankie,
306
00:13:39,872 --> 00:13:42,500
that's short for
Francesca, and the twins.
307
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:43,709
You got four kids?
308
00:13:43,792 --> 00:13:46,962
Oh, sure. Catholic.
You know how it goes.
309
00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:48,839
You don't got no kids.
310
00:13:48,922 --> 00:13:52,134
Yes, I do. I have four kids and
they're all coming to see me.
311
00:13:52,217 --> 00:13:53,927
Bull... shit.
312
00:13:54,011 --> 00:13:56,346
- Show me your stomach.
- What?
313
00:13:56,430 --> 00:13:58,974
Mother of four, twins no less.
314
00:13:59,057 --> 00:14:01,226
Let me see your belly.
315
00:14:01,309 --> 00:14:05,230
Maybe I did a lot of sit-ups,
and maybe they're adopted.

316
00:14:05,313 --> 00:14:07,149
Get the fuck out of my chair.
317
00:14:07,232 --> 00:14:09,860
No, I need this. I lost my van.
318
00:14:09,943 --> 00:14:11,779
I have been scrubbin' toilets.
319
00:14:11,862 --> 00:14:13,489
Let me feel like a person.
320
00:14:13,572 --> 00:14:16,700
You can feel like a person
after I see my actual baby
321
00:14:16,784 --> 00:14:18,577
that came out of me and exists.
322
00:14:18,661 --> 00:14:21,830
Well, maybe my mother's comin' to
visit and I need to look nice for her.
323
00:14:21,914 --> 00:14:23,624
[speaking Spanish] Liar.
324
00:14:23,714 --> 00:14:26,759
I really haven't been
feelin' so good lately,
325
00:14:26,835 --> 00:14:30,506
and dollin' up's the only
way I got to feel better.
326
00:14:33,300 --> 00:14:34,552
- Okay.
- What?
327
00:14:34,635 --> 00:14:36,387
- I'll work on her real fast.
- Come...
328
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:38,305
I got a soft spot for the pathetics.
329
00:14:38,389 --> 00:14:40,391

[softly] Thank you,

thank you, thank you.
330
00:14:41,434 --> 00:14:43,436
Somebody comin' to
visit you this weekend?
331
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:45,729
My son, Michael.
332
00:14:45,813 --> 00:14:46,855
Oh.
333
00:14:46,939 --> 00:14:50,859
How does that work, with
you being a lady-man and all?
334
00:14:50,943 --> 00:14:54,655
Do you and his mother
both celebrate the day?
335
00:14:54,738 --> 00:14:56,907
You really wanna be callin' me a lady-man
336
00:14:56,990 --> 00:14:59,493
when I got a fistful
of your hair in my hand?
337
00:14:59,577 --> 00:15:01,704
Oh, I just thought it sounded nice.
338
00:15:01,787 --> 00:15:04,122
I don't know from these things.
339
00:15:04,206 --> 00:15:06,083
That's why I'm askin' questions.
340
00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:10,003
We're sharing the day.
341
00:15:10,087 --> 00:15:13,215
He's spending Father's Day with
her new boyfriend, the pastor.
342
00:15:13,298 --> 00:15:14,299
Oh.

343
00:15:14,382 --> 00:15:17,761
Well, that doesn't seem
fair. He's not his father.
344
00:15:17,845 --> 00:15:19,763
Well, I'm not sure I am anymore, either.
345
00:15:19,847 --> 00:15:21,432
Hit the road, Jack
346
00:15:21,515 --> 00:15:24,977
And don't you come back
No more, no more, no more, no more
347
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:28,355
Hit the road, Jack
And don't you come back no more
348
00:15:28,439 --> 00:15:29,565
What you say?
349
00:15:29,648 --> 00:15:30,899
- Mmm-mmm.
- [chuckles]
350
00:15:30,983 --> 00:15:32,985
We goin' about this the
wrong way. I should sing.
351
00:15:33,068 --> 00:15:35,195
It'll drive him out of there screaming.
352
00:15:35,278 --> 00:15:36,572
- Mmm.
- [chuckles]
353
00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:37,781
Mmm. Do my feet again.
354
00:15:37,865 --> 00:15:40,033
Mmm. Like this, baby? Like this?
355
00:15:40,117 --> 00:15:41,201
Ah, yeah. Ooh.
356
00:15:42,202 --> 00:15:44,497

Yeah, you squeeze there

while I pinch my nipples.
357
00:15:44,580 --> 00:15:46,832
We have some more of that
spicy chicken from Bongo's,
358
00:15:46,915 --> 00:15:48,459
- have sex again.
- [chuckles]
359
00:15:48,542 --> 00:15:51,086
I run around the block a couple
times, do some jumpin' jacks.
360
00:15:51,169 --> 00:15:52,546
Get out.
361
00:15:53,589 --> 00:15:54,965
Do you hear me?
362
00:15:55,048 --> 00:15:58,426
It is time for you to
vacate the premises.
363
00:15:58,511 --> 00:15:59,762
It's your eviction notice.
364
00:15:59,845 --> 00:16:01,651
[sighs] Ooh.
365
00:16:02,765 --> 00:16:03,849
Did you see that?
366
00:16:05,382 --> 00:16:06,424
That was a foot.
367
00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:08,436
A whole person in there.
368
00:16:10,773 --> 00:16:12,024
Mmm. You scared.
369
00:16:13,108 --> 00:16:14,109
A little.
370

00:16:15,318 --> 00:16:17,070

Don't be. You're gonna
make a great daddy.
371
00:16:18,781 --> 00:16:19,823
Ah.
372
00:16:19,907 --> 00:16:21,324
- Back on that foot.
- [chuckles]
373
00:16:21,408 --> 00:16:22,826
Back on that... There you go.
374
00:16:22,910 --> 00:16:24,119
There.
375
00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:28,456
You know, there's nothing
wrong with that light.
376
00:16:28,541 --> 00:16:30,543
[chuckles] Oh, yeah? Why don't
you let me be the judge of that?
377
00:16:30,626 --> 00:16:32,169
Because you don't know
what the fuck you're doing.
378
00:16:32,252 --> 00:16:33,336
Okay, you know what?
379
00:16:33,420 --> 00:16:36,965
For your information, there's actually
a loose fluorescent bulb in here.
380
00:16:37,049 --> 00:16:40,343
You're lucky I caught this,
or we might all be dead.
381
00:16:40,427 --> 00:16:41,428
[scoffs]
382
00:16:43,388 --> 00:16:45,432
You know why she's in
here all the time lately?
383

00:16:45,516 --> 00:16:46,767

'Cause she's a dumbshit.
384
00:16:46,850 --> 00:16:48,811
'Cause she got a crush on me.
385
00:16:49,645 --> 00:16:50,896
What are you talking about?
386
00:16:50,979 --> 00:16:54,274
When she had that bet thing going
on with the bully butch bitch,
387
00:16:54,357 --> 00:16:57,027
she tried to get me, but I didn't do it.
388
00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,529
She wasn't offering anything good.
389
00:16:58,612 --> 00:17:01,448
Well, I've seen you suck a
cock for a bag of ranch Doritos.
390
00:17:01,532 --> 00:17:05,077
Totally different. That was a
cock. And I love ranch flavor.
391
00:17:05,619 --> 00:17:07,871
The point is, she's really into me,
392
00:17:07,955 --> 00:17:09,540
which is why she keeps
coming around here.
393
00:17:09,623 --> 00:17:11,499
Well, you gotta stop leading her on.
394
00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:14,419
I ain't done nothin'. I
can't help that I'm dyke bait.
395
00:17:17,047 --> 00:17:19,800
Yeah, look at her, bendin'
down, showin' you her ass.
396
00:17:19,883 --> 00:17:21,051
I think you're right.

397
00:17:21,134 --> 00:17:24,387
I'm telling you... she's
so desperate for me.
398
00:17:25,305 --> 00:17:27,057
Makes me almost sad for her.
399
00:17:29,977 --> 00:17:31,895
[drier timer buzzing]
400
00:17:31,979 --> 00:17:33,438
[oven timer dings]
401
00:17:35,863 --> 00:17:37,317
Oh, Nicky! She coming!
402
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,695
- Stop her! It's not ready!
- What's not ready?
403
00:17:39,778 --> 00:17:41,697
No, Mommy, you have to
go back! Go back to bed!
404
00:17:41,780 --> 00:17:43,699
Sweetie, we're having
brunch at the Four Seasons.
405
00:17:43,782 --> 00:17:45,576
Paloma, why is she not dressed?
406
00:17:45,659 --> 00:17:48,495
[stammers] I tell her, but
she want to surprise you.
407
00:17:48,579 --> 00:17:50,372
She been up since 6:00.
408
00:17:50,455 --> 00:17:53,250
Well, that's very cute, honey,
409
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:54,752
but we need to get dressed
410
00:17:54,835 --> 00:17:57,462

and put on our happy faces

and pretend we like Grandma.
411
00:17:58,714 --> 00:18:00,165
There'll be shrimp cocktail.
412
00:18:00,223 --> 00:18:01,717
But it's Mother's Day.
413
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,343
That's right. It's my day.
414
00:18:03,426 --> 00:18:07,723
So we will get through brunch, and
I will head straight for the spa.
415
00:18:07,806 --> 00:18:08,932
Happy mother.
416
00:18:10,433 --> 00:18:11,685
Oh, come on, sweetheart.
417
00:18:11,769 --> 00:18:14,730
Put on the blue dress I
bought you from Bergdorf's.
418
00:18:24,114 --> 00:18:26,283
She didn't read my card.
419
00:18:30,954 --> 00:18:33,290
Your hair looks nice like that.
420
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:34,833
Oh, you noticed.
421
00:18:34,917 --> 00:18:36,043
- [scoffs]
- Oh, honey.
422
00:18:36,126 --> 00:18:39,212
Yeah, well, I'm glad to see
you keepin' yourself up, doll.
423
00:18:39,296 --> 00:18:43,300
No one likes to see a beautiful,
ripe fruit just wither on the vine.

424
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,760
You like my ripe fruit?
425
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:48,263
[scoffs] So sweet, so juicy.
426
00:18:48,346 --> 00:18:51,725
Oh, as if the smell of this dinner
isn't making me feel nauseous enough.
427
00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:54,436
Well, maybe you'd rather
talk about vegetables, huh?
428
00:18:54,519 --> 00:18:57,480
Like your favorite stalk of
celery that just walked in.
429
00:18:57,564 --> 00:19:00,150
Yeah, looks like she's lost
a little bit of her crunch.
430
00:19:00,233 --> 00:19:02,277
What the fuck is she doin' back here?
431
00:19:07,532 --> 00:19:08,575
Hi.
432
00:19:08,659 --> 00:19:10,202
Inmate, no touching.
433
00:19:10,285 --> 00:19:12,454
Yeah, inmate. Let's
just keep it orthodox.
434
00:19:12,537 --> 00:19:15,791
What happened? What
are you doing back here?
435
00:19:15,874 --> 00:19:17,250
And...
436
00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:18,836
What happened to your face?
437
00:19:20,003 --> 00:19:22,547

Just a little trouble in

lockup. I was in a mood.
438
00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:27,010
I forgot that you should let
crackheads have their way.
439
00:19:27,094 --> 00:19:28,178
Well, yeah.
440
00:19:28,261 --> 00:19:29,763
Crackheads...
441
00:19:29,847 --> 00:19:30,889
Wookiees...
442
00:19:30,973 --> 00:19:32,640
you know, you gotta let 'em win.
443
00:19:33,684 --> 00:19:36,301
What... did you do?
444
00:19:36,303 --> 00:19:39,732
This is so unbelievably embarrassing.
445
00:19:39,815 --> 00:19:41,399
Come on.
446
00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:43,730
Like anybody in here can judge.
447
00:19:45,904 --> 00:19:47,322
How am I back here?
448
00:19:48,573 --> 00:19:50,928
That's my question. Come on.
449
00:19:51,744 --> 00:19:53,746
[stammers] Let's go take a walk.
450
00:19:53,829 --> 00:19:55,914
[Taystee] But can't real
faith make shit happen?
451
00:19:55,998 --> 00:19:58,041
Look, who knows anything, all right?

452
00:19:58,125 --> 00:19:59,542
All I'm saying is, they did some kind of
453
00:19:59,626 --> 00:20:00,919
voodoo spell on Vee,
454
00:20:01,003 --> 00:20:02,379
and, boom, bitch was gone.
455
00:20:02,462 --> 00:20:03,505
Yo.
456
00:20:04,047 --> 00:20:06,383
Vee is fine.
457
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,093
- [Taystee] Oh, my God.
- Yo, okay.
458
00:20:08,176 --> 00:20:09,928
I cannot go through this again.
459
00:20:10,012 --> 00:20:15,642
Suzanne... you throw that
tray, or anything on it,
460
00:20:15,726 --> 00:20:17,728
we dog-pilin' on you till you're flat.
461
00:20:17,811 --> 00:20:20,188
- Mmm-hmm.
- Agree to disagree,
462
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:21,940
and let's get on with our lives.
463
00:20:22,024 --> 00:20:23,275
Agree to disagree.
464
00:20:23,358 --> 00:20:25,027
Uh-huh. Shit.
465
00:20:25,110 --> 00:20:26,236
Rhymes with, "Vee."

466
00:20:26,319 --> 00:20:28,290
Rhymes with, "Let it be."
467
00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:31,909
So, what you want with
this voodoo magic, anyhow?
468
00:20:31,992 --> 00:20:33,201
[Taystee] Don't be
playin' around with that.
469
00:20:33,285 --> 00:20:36,955
Mess with the evil forces,
you'll be out like Cedric Diggory.
470
00:20:37,039 --> 00:20:38,456
Who?
471
00:20:38,540 --> 00:20:39,735
[both] Harry Potter.
472
00:20:39,737 --> 00:20:41,780
Died in the Triwizard Tournament?
473
00:20:42,169 --> 00:20:43,503
[Poussey] Look, I don't know. I just...
474
00:20:43,586 --> 00:20:45,047
I think it's interestin'.
475
00:20:45,130 --> 00:20:48,759
I mean, who knows what kind of forces
are operatin' out there in the universe?
476
00:20:48,842 --> 00:20:51,678
Maybe it ain't such a bad idea
to try to get 'em on your side.
477
00:20:52,679 --> 00:20:55,140
[Poussey's mom] All right,
Poussey, you read the Calvin part,
478
00:20:55,223 --> 00:20:57,389
I'll be the mom. Here.
479
00:20:57,976 --> 00:21:00,020

"Mom, was I ever a grub?"

480
00:21:00,103 --> 00:21:01,104
"A what?"
481
00:21:01,188 --> 00:21:05,233
"You know, a larva. Did I
really 'pup-ate' at age two?"
482
00:21:05,984 --> 00:21:06,960
"Pu-pate."
483
00:21:07,861 --> 00:21:09,196
Like... poo?
484
00:21:09,279 --> 00:21:12,657
Oh, come on. You know that word
from when we studied butterflies.
485
00:21:12,740 --> 00:21:15,118
The caterpillar goes through
the pupal stage and then...
486
00:21:15,202 --> 00:21:16,453
I love you, Mommy.
487
00:21:17,913 --> 00:21:20,248
Love you, too, baby.
488
00:21:20,433 --> 00:21:21,642
Now, let's keep reading.
489
00:21:24,044 --> 00:21:25,587
I am so excited!
490
00:21:25,670 --> 00:21:27,297
I don't think I'm gonna be
able to go to sleep tonight.
491
00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:28,756
No, you gotta try.
492
00:21:28,841 --> 00:21:30,926
You don't want your baby seeing
you with bags under your eyes.
493

00:21:31,009 --> 00:21:32,719

That's setting a really bad example.
494
00:21:32,803 --> 00:21:35,388
So, how you feelin' about
your first Mother's Day?
495
00:21:35,472 --> 00:21:37,390
- I'm not a mother yet.
- Sure you are.
496
00:21:37,474 --> 00:21:40,147
If she's already givin' you pain
and trouble, you're a mother.
497
00:21:40,518 --> 00:21:41,686
And I'm a mother.
498
00:21:41,769 --> 00:21:43,939
You getting me a present tomorrow
for all I've done for you?
499
00:21:44,564 --> 00:21:46,649
Don't I just cause you pain and trouble?
500
00:21:46,733 --> 00:21:48,499
At least get me a card or something.
501
00:21:49,527 --> 00:21:51,363
Draw me one of your weird pictures.
502
00:21:53,073 --> 00:21:54,324
Give me my stuff!
503
00:21:54,407 --> 00:21:57,327
Oh, no? Something to hide?
504
00:21:57,410 --> 00:22:00,038
Love letters, maybe, from
all those men in your life?
505
00:22:00,122 --> 00:22:01,581
This is fancy.
506
00:22:01,664 --> 00:22:02,665
Greenwich, Connecticut?

507
00:22:02,749 --> 00:22:04,167
Who the fuck you know in
Greenwich, Connecticut?
508
00:22:04,251 --> 00:22:06,128
No one. I was gonna
throw it out. It's stupid.
509
00:22:06,211 --> 00:22:08,130
"I've heard I'm to have a grandchild.
510
00:22:08,213 --> 00:22:09,797
I'd like to see you.
511
00:22:09,882 --> 00:22:12,175
Sincerely, Delia Mendez Powell."
512
00:22:12,968 --> 00:22:14,177
Mendez?
513
00:22:14,179 --> 00:22:16,327
Holy shit! This is Pornstache's mother?
514
00:22:17,722 --> 00:22:20,225
Yo, I smell money
here. You gotta say yes.
515
00:22:20,308 --> 00:22:22,060
Write her back and
tell her you'll see her.
516
00:22:22,144 --> 00:22:24,062
'Cause I need another
person involved here, right?
517
00:22:24,146 --> 00:22:25,898
I don't wanna see her.
518
00:22:28,108 --> 00:22:31,028
Fine. Don't listen to your mother.
519
00:22:31,111 --> 00:22:33,488
'Cause that always works out so well.
520
00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:40,245
So, listen... I got a guy.

521
00:22:40,328 --> 00:22:41,788
You are a guy.
522
00:22:41,871 --> 00:22:43,165
Suck my dick.
523
00:22:45,918 --> 00:22:48,420
He's comin' up the tunnel on
Wednesday. He's gonna sell it for us.
524
00:22:48,503 --> 00:22:50,130
So we gotta get that
shit to the greenhouse.
525
00:22:50,213 --> 00:22:52,465
So far, the best plan we've come up with
526
00:22:52,549 --> 00:22:54,801
is takin' it out one bag
at a time up our snatches
527
00:22:54,884 --> 00:22:57,720
while the meth-heads take
their afternoon naps, okay?
528
00:22:57,804 --> 00:23:00,138
And that plan has more holes
in it than we have, doesn't it?
529
00:23:00,848 --> 00:23:04,019
All right, we need to space
these pompoms out more evenly.
530
00:23:04,637 --> 00:23:06,813
I'm a wacky clown. I
don't need symmetry.
531
00:23:06,896 --> 00:23:09,441
And you're stallin'. It's time.
532
00:23:09,524 --> 00:23:12,485
It's so pretty. I like looking at it.
533
00:23:12,569 --> 00:23:15,738
Yeah, well, say goodbye,
'cause come Wednesday,

534
00:23:15,822 --> 00:23:19,034
that shit is going down the tunnel
and out into the world for sale...
535
00:23:19,117 --> 00:23:20,535
like a Romanian baby.
536
00:23:21,173 --> 00:23:22,579
This shit is happenin'.
537
00:23:25,999 --> 00:23:28,501
[Gina] I take this
ball of blue energy...
538
00:23:30,753 --> 00:23:32,630
and I pass it to you.
539
00:23:36,551 --> 00:23:39,304
I take this ball of blue
energy and I pass it...
540
00:23:39,387 --> 00:23:41,098
[Frieda] You sure you
want to do this, Red?
541
00:23:41,181 --> 00:23:44,184
I've only got two years left, Frieda.
542
00:23:44,267 --> 00:23:49,022
Compared to what I was looking at
when I got here, that's so little time.
543
00:23:49,106 --> 00:23:51,316
I see the light at
the end of the tunnel.
544
00:23:51,399 --> 00:23:52,734
[chuckles] So to speak.
545
00:23:52,817 --> 00:23:56,071
[grunts] How much time we got before
we have to rejoin the witch ladies?
546
00:23:56,154 --> 00:23:57,322
Oh, about a half hour.

547
00:23:57,405 --> 00:24:00,367
It takes 'em forever to pass
that ball around the circle.
548
00:24:00,450 --> 00:24:02,494
It drives Maxwell nuts.
549
00:24:02,577 --> 00:24:05,075
She smokes by the basketball
courts till they're done.
550
00:24:05,077 --> 00:24:06,831
And this is okay with Caputo?
551
00:24:06,914 --> 00:24:11,705
Oh, it's a whole new world around
here. A kinder, gentler Litchfield.
552
00:24:12,045 --> 00:24:14,547
Wiccans get night
walks on the full moon.
553
00:24:14,631 --> 00:24:17,550
Things that break get mostly fixed.
554
00:24:17,634 --> 00:24:21,596
I even hear people
are getting out early.
555
00:24:21,679 --> 00:24:24,266
Uh, Sanchez in the kitchen,
556
00:24:24,349 --> 00:24:28,270
that, uh... that girl with
the nostrils from grounds crew.
557
00:24:28,353 --> 00:24:29,812
[panting] All the
more reason to do this.
558
00:24:29,896 --> 00:24:32,190
Are you sure? Are you really sure?
559
00:24:32,274 --> 00:24:34,442
We had a good thing goin' here, Red.
560

00:24:34,526 --> 00:24:35,777

[grunting]
561
00:24:36,778 --> 00:24:38,030
I'm sure.
562
00:24:39,489 --> 00:24:40,990
Bye-bye, tunnel.
563
00:24:42,159 --> 00:24:43,285
[groans]
564
00:24:44,536 --> 00:24:46,788
[Gina] And ye shall
be free from slavery.
565
00:24:47,789 --> 00:24:50,833
And as a sign that ye be really free...
566
00:24:50,917 --> 00:24:53,378
ye shall be naked in thy rites.
567
00:24:53,461 --> 00:24:55,172
And ye shall dance...
568
00:24:56,298 --> 00:24:58,258
Wait, don't do that.
569
00:24:58,341 --> 00:24:59,736
It's metaphorical naked.
570
00:24:59,738 --> 00:25:02,427
I mean, we're passing around an
invisible ball, for Christ's sake.
571
00:25:02,429 --> 00:25:04,639
I thought we didn't believe in Christ.
572
00:25:04,722 --> 00:25:06,099
[Frieda] Better hurry.
573
00:25:06,183 --> 00:25:07,684
[Red] Almost finished.
574
00:25:11,020 --> 00:25:13,190
You're a twisted fuck, aren't ya?

575
00:25:13,683 --> 00:25:15,442
Life is complex, huh?
576
00:25:15,942 --> 00:25:17,610
Let's rejoin the circle.
577
00:25:17,694 --> 00:25:20,280
I could use some energy,
blue or otherwise.
578
00:25:20,363 --> 00:25:21,406
[grunts]
579
00:25:22,648 --> 00:25:23,950
Healy, I wanna go home.
580
00:25:24,033 --> 00:25:25,993
You haven't answered my question.
581
00:25:26,078 --> 00:25:30,039
Why is Rogers here?
I started Safe Place.
582
00:25:30,123 --> 00:25:33,126
These women trust me, okay?
And I'm good at my job, Joe.
583
00:25:33,210 --> 00:25:35,670
She's here because she's needed.
584
00:25:35,753 --> 00:25:37,505
We never replaced Callahan.
585
00:25:37,589 --> 00:25:39,091
We all know Bailey is senile.
586
00:25:39,372 --> 00:25:43,220
For months, you're tellin' me how
swamped you are, how overwhelmed.
587
00:25:43,303 --> 00:25:44,887
Okay, I take it back. I'm fine.
588
00:25:44,971 --> 00:25:47,099
Let her go. I've got it covered, okay?

589
00:25:48,237 --> 00:25:49,093
No.
590
00:25:50,893 --> 00:25:52,854
Fine, then she can have all
the blacks and the crazies.
591
00:25:53,976 --> 00:25:54,691
Healy...
592
00:25:54,693 --> 00:25:56,816
Look, I've got a bad
feeling about this one.
593
00:25:56,899 --> 00:25:58,943
She doesn't smell right,
and I mean that literally.
594
00:25:58,945 --> 00:26:01,902
She's got a weird smell.
Have you noticed that?
595
00:26:01,904 --> 00:26:02,877
Sam!
596
00:26:03,448 --> 00:26:05,117
She's here now.
597
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,368
She's your coworker.
598
00:26:07,503 --> 00:26:10,465
Eh, be nice, be respectful.
599
00:26:11,748 --> 00:26:13,333
Come on, be a gentleman.
600
00:26:13,859 --> 00:26:15,835
[Healy's mom] Yes, my little gentleman.
601
00:26:16,047 --> 00:26:17,789
Gentleman Sam.
602
00:26:18,892 --> 00:26:20,227
Yes, and yes again!

603
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:23,097
Because the angels have spoken to me...
604
00:26:23,468 --> 00:26:25,637
[softly] and they've
told me their secrets.
605
00:26:27,096 --> 00:26:28,656
I brought you breakfast.
606
00:26:32,769 --> 00:26:34,521
Now it's a party!
607
00:26:34,604 --> 00:26:36,356
Come dance with Mommy.
608
00:26:43,847 --> 00:26:45,432
[Alex] Is your mom coming?
609
00:26:46,449 --> 00:26:47,644
Are you kidding me?
610
00:26:48,326 --> 00:26:51,454
Carol is spending the day with
her un-imprisoned children.
611
00:26:51,456 --> 00:26:52,457
Mmm.
612
00:26:55,625 --> 00:26:59,086
Diane would smack the shit out
of me if she were still alive.
613
00:26:59,171 --> 00:27:00,380
[sniffles]
614
00:27:02,340 --> 00:27:05,401
She's probably looking
down right now just...
615
00:27:06,678 --> 00:27:08,926
vomiting angel dust.
616
00:27:12,323 --> 00:27:14,357
I feel so stupid.

617
00:27:15,228 --> 00:27:16,953
You were living in Queens.
618
00:27:17,564 --> 00:27:20,400
I'm sure that made prison
seem much more attractive.
619
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:24,404
Every time I close my
eyes, I relive that moment.
620
00:27:24,777 --> 00:27:26,614
Fuck up. Fuck up.
621
00:27:26,698 --> 00:27:27,654
Alex...
622
00:27:27,656 --> 00:27:30,367
[sobbing] I had a chance to make a life.
623
00:27:30,452 --> 00:27:32,495
Okay, you need to shut up.
624
00:27:34,247 --> 00:27:35,248
[Alex whimpers]
625
00:27:36,082 --> 00:27:37,250
[sniffles]
626
00:27:38,835 --> 00:27:41,463
Oh, that's not hot when your
snot drips in my mouth like that.
627
00:27:41,546 --> 00:27:42,547
- No?
- No.
628
00:27:42,630 --> 00:27:44,757
- It's not your thing?
- No, I don't like that.
629
00:27:44,841 --> 00:27:46,593
[chuckles] I thought you'd be into it.
630
00:27:46,676 --> 00:27:47,677

Mmm-mmm.
631
00:27:50,096 --> 00:27:51,389
[sobbing]
632
00:27:52,682 --> 00:27:54,309
I'm such an idiot.
633
00:27:54,392 --> 00:27:56,702
No, Alex...
634
00:27:58,230 --> 00:28:01,023
You have to stop. You have
to. It wasn't your fault.
635
00:28:01,107 --> 00:28:02,659
Of course it was my fault!
636
00:28:03,235 --> 00:28:05,125
No one put that gun in my hand.
637
00:28:05,127 --> 00:28:06,914
- But you didn't know.
- Fuck up!
638
00:28:07,029 --> 00:28:08,823
Alex, it wasn't you.
639
00:28:09,108 --> 00:28:10,359
It wasn't you.
640
00:28:13,328 --> 00:28:14,496
It...
641
00:28:23,755 --> 00:28:25,298
[softly] It was the system.
642
00:28:28,260 --> 00:28:29,594
You got caught...
643
00:28:30,928 --> 00:28:32,514
in the system.
644
00:28:34,056 --> 00:28:37,685
I'm just a fly in the web of
the prison industrial complex?

645
00:28:37,769 --> 00:28:39,354
[scoffs] Christ.
646
00:28:39,437 --> 00:28:41,773
But at least we're in
the same web, right?
647
00:28:43,775 --> 00:28:45,652
I mean, at least we're in it together.
648
00:28:47,904 --> 00:28:48,988
Yeah.
649
00:28:50,323 --> 00:28:51,658
At least we're in it together.
650
00:28:51,741 --> 00:28:52,992
[Donaldson] Ladies!
651
00:28:53,075 --> 00:28:55,202
Get the heck out of there right now!
652
00:28:55,287 --> 00:28:57,997
You're out of bounds! Count's in five!
653
00:28:59,291 --> 00:29:01,668
I know you're back
there! I'm not an idiot!
654
00:29:01,751 --> 00:29:04,546
Out now! You're both gettin' shots!
655
00:29:17,224 --> 00:29:18,810
Place is goin' to hell.
656
00:29:18,893 --> 00:29:21,020
Hands off! And fingers off!
657
00:29:21,103 --> 00:29:23,773
Back away from the table!
And nobody touch me.
658
00:29:23,856 --> 00:29:26,276
If anybody touches me, you don't go in.

659
00:29:27,485 --> 00:29:30,447
You are all expected to behave.
660
00:29:30,530 --> 00:29:33,240
Anyone not behaving
will be sent back home.
661
00:29:33,712 --> 00:29:35,952
All caregivers must be reachable
662
00:29:36,035 --> 00:29:39,706
in case your children you've
checked in need to be sent back out.
663
00:29:40,748 --> 00:29:42,124
Welcome to the fun zone.
664
00:29:42,482 --> 00:29:43,984
Mother's last name?
665
00:29:44,002 --> 00:29:46,337
I think you know it.
How you doin', my friend?
666
00:29:47,171 --> 00:29:48,465
Fine. Fine.
667
00:29:48,548 --> 00:29:50,675
Yeah? Glad to hear it.
668
00:29:50,758 --> 00:29:52,719
So, listen, I got a couple of
your baby's aunts and uncle here.
669
00:29:52,802 --> 00:29:54,178
[softly] Hey, can you
please keep it down?
670
00:29:54,261 --> 00:29:55,888
Stop sweatin' it, bro.
Nobody's listenin'.
671
00:29:56,848 --> 00:29:57,849
Uh, names?
672
00:29:57,932 --> 00:29:59,809

You're gonna have to learn

these soon, too, hermano.
673
00:29:59,892 --> 00:30:04,356
Eva, Lucy, Christina,
and that's Emiliano.
674
00:30:05,220 --> 00:30:06,483
So, listen, you should
come by the house soon,
675
00:30:06,566 --> 00:30:07,609
you know, get to know us.
676
00:30:07,692 --> 00:30:11,028
I'm not just busting balls,
okay? You're family now.
677
00:30:11,386 --> 00:30:12,905
Okay, here are your badges.
[chuckles awkwardly] Have a nice day.
678
00:30:12,989 --> 00:30:14,031
All right, go ahead, kids.
679
00:30:14,115 --> 00:30:16,451
Go give your mother a
big hug and a kiss for me.
680
00:30:16,534 --> 00:30:17,660
And Emiliano...
681
00:30:17,744 --> 00:30:19,996
no tongue, you little perv.
682
00:30:21,122 --> 00:30:22,499
Happy Mother's Day, Johnny boy.
683
00:30:23,750 --> 00:30:25,167
[all cheering]
684
00:30:38,473 --> 00:30:39,766
[boy] This blows!
685
00:30:39,849 --> 00:30:41,100
[puppies yapping]

686
00:30:46,773 --> 00:30:48,315
[imitating airplane engine]
687
00:30:49,493 --> 00:30:52,829
Hey, Warren! You know
you're not allowed out there.
688
00:30:53,029 --> 00:30:56,115
Yeah, but I made a kite,
Mr. Healy. Kids love kites.
689
00:30:56,198 --> 00:30:58,410
That may be true, but you've been banned
690
00:30:58,493 --> 00:31:01,078
from interacting with the
children, and you know that.
691
00:31:01,162 --> 00:31:03,080
Yeah, that was last year.
692
00:31:03,164 --> 00:31:07,126
And this is a kite,
not Chinese jump rope.
693
00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:09,336
The answer is no, Warren.
694
00:31:10,509 --> 00:31:13,705
Now, you're not to step foot
outside of this building.
695
00:31:14,384 --> 00:31:15,385
Is that clear?
696
00:31:16,803 --> 00:31:17,929
Yes, sir.
697
00:31:35,029 --> 00:31:37,574
[Brook] Everyone needs
to back up and line up.
698
00:31:37,964 --> 00:31:39,701
Okay, okay, who's first?
699
00:31:40,272 --> 00:31:41,661

Where's the stick?

700
00:31:41,744 --> 00:31:42,870
Sticks? We can't give 'em sticks.
701
00:31:43,164 --> 00:31:44,747
How are they supposed
to break the piata?
702
00:31:44,831 --> 00:31:46,624
I don't know. Punch it, I guess.
703
00:31:46,708 --> 00:31:48,876
Give it a good shot in the
side, work out their anger.
704
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,962
They're having fun. They're not angry.
705
00:31:51,045 --> 00:31:52,213
Sure they are.
706
00:31:52,303 --> 00:31:55,857
Hey, kid, your mother is in prison.
707
00:31:56,117 --> 00:31:57,051
Pummel the piata.
708
00:31:57,661 --> 00:31:58,626
Jab, jab.
709
00:32:04,459 --> 00:32:05,672
Hit it.
710
00:32:06,595 --> 00:32:07,871
All right.
711
00:32:10,314 --> 00:32:11,357
[gasps]
712
00:32:11,441 --> 00:32:13,818
No, you look really good!
713
00:32:13,901 --> 00:32:15,570
You could, like, leave
here and go straight to

714
00:32:15,653 --> 00:32:17,864
a My Chemical Romance
concert and be the balls.
715
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:23,745
[exclaims] You missed! Next! Loser.
716
00:32:23,828 --> 00:32:25,913
Why you being so fuckin'
mean, man? They're kids.
717
00:32:25,997 --> 00:32:29,667
Number one, they miss, mo' candy for me.
718
00:32:29,751 --> 00:32:31,503
And number two, I don't like kids.
719
00:32:32,336 --> 00:32:34,380
I don't like mamas,
neither, for that matter.
720
00:32:34,464 --> 00:32:35,840
Mine thinks I'm shit.
721
00:32:35,923 --> 00:32:38,134
Well, fuck her. I'm done with mama.
722
00:32:38,217 --> 00:32:40,470
- I'm done with stand-ins for mamas.
- Mmm.
723
00:32:40,553 --> 00:32:42,847
I am parent-free and proud.
724
00:32:43,323 --> 00:32:45,224
Yeah, well, I liked my moms.
725
00:32:45,226 --> 00:32:46,853
Well, lucky you.
726
00:32:47,018 --> 00:32:48,185
[girl] Oh, come on.
727
00:32:48,269 --> 00:32:50,872
Maybe when mine dies,

I'll like her better.

728
00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:52,784
A'ight, next!
729
00:32:53,274 --> 00:32:54,630
Shit.
730
00:32:55,228 --> 00:32:58,518
- Simon says deep breath in.
- [all inhaling]
731
00:32:59,366 --> 00:33:02,158
- Simon says deep breath out.
- [all exhaling]
732
00:33:02,241 --> 00:33:03,242
Hands in the air.
733
00:33:05,286 --> 00:33:07,163
Chang, Simon didn't say that.
734
00:33:07,246 --> 00:33:08,831
- [kids laughing]
- But that's okay.
735
00:33:08,915 --> 00:33:13,002
I encourage you all to
follow your own path.
736
00:33:13,085 --> 00:33:15,046
What you in for?
737
00:33:15,129 --> 00:33:17,840
[Yoga Jones] Simon says tug at your ear.
738
00:33:17,924 --> 00:33:20,384
[Yoga Jones] Tug at your other ear.
739
00:33:20,467 --> 00:33:23,680
Simon says wiggle your hips.
740
00:33:23,763 --> 00:33:25,890
Simon says hop on one foot!
741
00:33:25,973 --> 00:33:28,685

- Duck.
- [Yoga Jones] Simon says wiggle your hips.
742
00:33:28,768 --> 00:33:30,728
- Duck.
- [Yoga Jones] Jump up in the air!
743
00:33:30,812 --> 00:33:32,730
- Simon says turn around.
- Duck.
744
00:33:32,814 --> 00:33:34,982
- [Yoga Jones] Don't turn around.
- Goose.
745
00:33:35,066 --> 00:33:38,027
[Yoga Jones] Simon
says hands on your head.
746
00:33:39,361 --> 00:33:42,615
- Simon says hands on your knees.
- [girl] Duck...
747
00:33:42,699 --> 00:33:44,784
Use his shirt like a paper towel.
748
00:33:44,867 --> 00:33:46,243
He loves it.
749
00:33:46,327 --> 00:33:49,747
One, two, three, go.
750
00:33:49,831 --> 00:33:51,415
[kids exclaiming]
751
00:33:52,917 --> 00:33:54,961
Yo, hey, hey! Get
out... Get out of here!
752
00:33:55,044 --> 00:33:56,879
- [kids giggling]
- Get out of here!
753
00:33:56,963 --> 00:33:59,591
You! You better get out of
here! Where's your mother, boy?
754

00:33:59,674 --> 00:34:01,454

Get out of here!
755
00:34:01,456 --> 00:34:03,872
I don't understand. Why
isn't your brother here?
756
00:34:04,846 --> 00:34:06,365
He says it's for babies.
757
00:34:06,848 --> 00:34:09,408
I haven't seen him in
two and a half years.
758
00:34:11,603 --> 00:34:14,313
Look at you. You got a mustache?
759
00:34:14,396 --> 00:34:16,190
Jesus. [chuckles]
760
00:34:16,273 --> 00:34:17,358
You got hair everywhere?
761
00:34:17,441 --> 00:34:18,525
Oh, Mom!
762
00:34:18,610 --> 00:34:20,854
Never mind. Don't
answer that. I can't...
763
00:34:21,445 --> 00:34:22,989
It's good to see you.
764
00:34:23,072 --> 00:34:24,406
You, too.
765
00:34:24,490 --> 00:34:25,728
Lourdes treating you good?
766
00:34:25,815 --> 00:34:27,910
We're fine. She and Benny fight a lot.
767
00:34:27,994 --> 00:34:31,165
They had a crazy one when he got
suspended from school last week.
768

00:34:31,962 --> 00:34:33,130

What'd he get suspended for?
769
00:34:33,213 --> 00:34:34,381
Cutting class.
770
00:34:35,001 --> 00:34:37,169
So, he misses school and they
make him miss more school,
771
00:34:37,253 --> 00:34:38,671
that makes no sense.
772
00:34:38,755 --> 00:34:41,340
Jesus, what the hell? Cutting class.
773
00:34:41,423 --> 00:34:42,675
You know what?
774
00:34:42,759 --> 00:34:44,761
You tell him that he needs to
get his little delinquent ass
775
00:34:44,844 --> 00:34:47,554
over here next week for
visitation, you got that?
776
00:34:47,639 --> 00:34:48,765
Okay.
777
00:34:49,807 --> 00:34:51,017
[sighs]
778
00:34:51,338 --> 00:34:52,547
I'm sorry, papi.
779
00:34:53,477 --> 00:34:55,229
- You're here, right?
- Yeah.
780
00:34:55,231 --> 00:34:57,575
Yeah, let's talk about you, huh?
781
00:34:58,608 --> 00:35:01,152
What you been up to for the
last 30 months? Fun things?

782
00:35:02,153 --> 00:35:04,781
- [girl groans]
- All right, next.
783
00:35:04,864 --> 00:35:06,991
[inmate 1] Yeah, I'm glad you're here.
784
00:35:07,074 --> 00:35:09,535
- [Taystee] You was just here.
- You made my day.
785
00:35:10,912 --> 00:35:13,873
[Black Cindy chuckles]
She made it. Next.
786
00:35:13,956 --> 00:35:17,168
Grandma's not a clown.
This is eye shadow.
787
00:35:17,251 --> 00:35:19,003
Grandma put on a face for you.
788
00:35:19,086 --> 00:35:22,256
Please, I'm gorgeous. [clicks tongue]
789
00:35:22,339 --> 00:35:24,508
[inmate 2] I know what
you're saying, but...
790
00:35:40,399 --> 00:35:43,277
- All right, honey, take a little spritz.
- Mmm-mmm.
791
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:46,739
What, no? Be a filthy
animal. Who raised you, huh?
792
00:35:46,823 --> 00:35:47,865
Oh, hi, Annette.
793
00:35:49,227 --> 00:35:51,672
There you go. Wipe front to
back, throw it in the trash.
794
00:35:51,786 --> 00:35:52,870
Thank you very much.

795
00:35:52,954 --> 00:35:54,288
This is a nice setup you got here.
796
00:35:54,371 --> 00:35:55,456
Oh, you.
797
00:35:55,539 --> 00:35:58,584
You are so lucky you are in electrical.
798
00:35:58,668 --> 00:36:00,294
Listen, you want my company or not?
799
00:36:00,736 --> 00:36:02,839
Yes, I do. Sit her down.
800
00:36:02,922 --> 00:36:04,381
- All right.
- Yeah.
801
00:36:05,507 --> 00:36:06,718
Look at this shit, right?
802
00:36:06,801 --> 00:36:08,970
I mean, look at this,
with these fuckin' kids.
803
00:36:09,053 --> 00:36:10,179
Oh, they're everywhere.
804
00:36:10,262 --> 00:36:11,305
I hate kids.
805
00:36:11,388 --> 00:36:13,515
You know, they don't drink,
they haven't traveled.
806
00:36:15,101 --> 00:36:17,019
It's nasty in there. You
might wanna hold your breath.
807
00:36:17,103 --> 00:36:18,938
Hey, can I talk to you?
808
00:36:20,022 --> 00:36:22,085
Um, I mean, I can wait
till you're finished.

809
00:36:22,692 --> 00:36:25,236
This mad juju that you and Gloria do...
810
00:36:26,195 --> 00:36:27,567
how does it work?
811
00:36:28,280 --> 00:36:29,699
I'm really missing someone.
812
00:36:35,997 --> 00:36:38,290
Is the baby gonna live with us?
813
00:36:38,374 --> 00:36:39,479
Um...
814
00:36:40,126 --> 00:36:41,312
We'll see.
815
00:36:41,961 --> 00:36:43,254
"We'll see"?
816
00:36:43,337 --> 00:36:44,421
What the fuck is that?
817
00:36:45,061 --> 00:36:46,673
I'm gonna be a ta.
818
00:36:46,692 --> 00:36:47,818
[Bennett] Hey.
819
00:36:47,967 --> 00:36:49,252
Hi, there.
820
00:36:49,254 --> 00:36:50,631
Everyone having fun?
821
00:36:51,929 --> 00:36:53,097
[Dayanara sighs]
822
00:36:54,290 --> 00:36:56,637
Um, I have a Mother's Day joke.
823
00:36:57,184 --> 00:37:00,104
How come computers are so smart?

824
00:37:00,187 --> 00:37:01,688
It's 'cause they listen
to their motherboards.
825
00:37:04,066 --> 00:37:05,735
Do you get it? That's
what they call the...
826
00:37:05,818 --> 00:37:07,069
It's the board thingy in the computer.
827
00:37:07,153 --> 00:37:10,156
I think it's, like, what all
the circuits are... attached to.
828
00:37:11,198 --> 00:37:13,562
- It's motherboard, 'cause...
- [Aleida clears throat]
829
00:37:16,746 --> 00:37:18,004
All right, well, anyway, have a...
830
00:37:18,790 --> 00:37:20,730
have a great afternoon, so...
831
00:37:27,131 --> 00:37:28,632
CO Bennett, let's chat.
832
00:37:30,342 --> 00:37:32,219
When are you gonna learn
to leave well enough alone?
833
00:37:32,303 --> 00:37:34,013
We were just talking.
834
00:37:34,096 --> 00:37:37,016
I do you a solid and sweep
everything under the carpet,
835
00:37:37,099 --> 00:37:38,768
and you go around
lifting up the corners.
836
00:37:38,851 --> 00:37:41,728
"Hey, everybody, look, look.
Look what I got under here."

837
00:37:41,813 --> 00:37:44,273
Okay, respectfully, sir, I'm pretty
sure you did yourself a solid.
838
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:50,023
You think you're the only one
ever to be tempted by an inmate?
839
00:37:50,446 --> 00:37:54,075
You think I never saw a tight piece
sitting in my office chair crying,
840
00:37:54,158 --> 00:37:55,910
tears covering her khaki-covered tits,
841
00:37:55,993 --> 00:37:58,745
and thought, "I could
bend that over my inbox"?
842
00:37:59,297 --> 00:38:01,874
A lesser man would be using this place
843
00:38:01,958 --> 00:38:05,461
as his own personal pussy smorgasbord,
844
00:38:05,544 --> 00:38:08,214
every fucking color, shape, size.
845
00:38:08,297 --> 00:38:10,584
Around the world without
ever leaving upstate.
846
00:38:10,883 --> 00:38:12,259
But I am not a lesser man.
847
00:38:13,469 --> 00:38:15,346
When those feelings come
on me, you know what I do?
848
00:38:15,429 --> 00:38:16,472
Please don't tell me.
849
00:38:16,555 --> 00:38:18,975
I take care of my fucking self.
850

00:38:19,345 --> 00:38:21,143

- Do you know what I'm saying?
- I'm pretty sure I do.
851
00:38:21,227 --> 00:38:22,269
I spank it out, Bennett.
852
00:38:22,353 --> 00:38:23,604
Uh, it's...
853
00:38:23,687 --> 00:38:26,315
And for the love of Pete,
I suggest you do the same...
854
00:38:26,398 --> 00:38:30,027
like decent men have been
doing since time immemorial.
855
00:38:32,571 --> 00:38:36,575
Me and Diaz, it's about
more than sex... sir.
856
00:38:38,785 --> 00:38:40,496
Just stay away from her, okay?
857
00:38:41,538 --> 00:38:42,999
Poor, deluded fuck.
858
00:38:43,082 --> 00:38:44,208
What'd you say?
859
00:38:48,420 --> 00:38:51,385
I mean, I just feel bad
because it's her day, you know?
860
00:38:51,631 --> 00:38:54,260
And she's just sitting
in the car while I'm here.
861
00:38:54,343 --> 00:38:56,053
I didn't mean to steal your mom's day.
862
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,597
Yeah, well, I don't need another mother.
863
00:39:00,224 --> 00:39:01,598
I get that.

864
00:39:01,976 --> 00:39:04,270
So, how are things with the good pastor?
865
00:39:04,353 --> 00:39:05,812
He makin' your mom happy?
866
00:39:05,897 --> 00:39:07,056
Yeah, I guess.
867
00:39:07,374 --> 00:39:09,191
How about you? Gettin' along?
868
00:39:09,769 --> 00:39:11,485
Well, he taught me how to shave.
869
00:39:12,486 --> 00:39:13,973
What'd he say about that?
870
00:39:14,488 --> 00:39:17,824
He tell you to go down,
shave with the grain?
871
00:39:17,909 --> 00:39:20,244
No, up and against the grain.
872
00:39:20,327 --> 00:39:21,703
That ain't how you do it.
873
00:39:21,787 --> 00:39:23,414
Well, that's what he told me.
874
00:39:23,497 --> 00:39:24,874
Well, I know better.
875
00:39:24,957 --> 00:39:26,167
Now, who you gonna listen to,
876
00:39:26,250 --> 00:39:29,253
someone who just shaves his face
or someone who shaves everywhere?
877
00:39:29,478 --> 00:39:30,754
Ew.
878

00:39:34,175 --> 00:39:36,465

You think that baby over
there is cuter than my girl?
879
00:39:36,467 --> 00:39:37,468
Ay, please.
880
00:39:37,755 --> 00:39:40,639
You have the prettiest
bebecita here, after mine.
881
00:39:40,722 --> 00:39:41,807
I know.
882
00:39:41,891 --> 00:39:42,892
[giggles]
883
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,228
[Maria] Ay, look at her.
884
00:39:46,312 --> 00:39:48,189
She looks terrified.
885
00:39:48,272 --> 00:39:50,024
- [Maritza] Oh, she'll come around.
- [Maria] Mmm-hmm.
886
00:39:50,107 --> 00:39:52,944
I mean, what's more
beautiful than having a baby?
887
00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,445
Making a life?
888
00:39:54,528 --> 00:39:55,905
The smell of their heads,
889
00:39:55,988 --> 00:39:58,657
the way they put their whole
weight on you when they fall asleep.
890
00:39:58,740 --> 00:40:00,284
She's gonna fall in love,
and then she'll be fine.
891
00:40:00,367 --> 00:40:01,618
Mmm-hmm.

892
00:40:02,455 --> 00:40:05,331
Ay, chica, you got a little
something on your shirt there.
893
00:40:05,414 --> 00:40:08,500
- What is that? Piss or shit?
- Oh, it smells like shit.
894
00:40:08,584 --> 00:40:11,963
Oh, my God! This is so disgusting!
895
00:40:13,422 --> 00:40:15,341
- Here, take it! Take it!
- Eh?
896
00:40:15,424 --> 00:40:16,758
[Maritza] So gross!
897
00:40:16,842 --> 00:40:18,677
[speaking Spanish] Hey, what am
I supposed to do with this baby?
898
00:40:18,760 --> 00:40:19,845
[speaking English] Give it to my sister!
899
00:40:19,929 --> 00:40:21,680
[grunting]
900
00:40:21,763 --> 00:40:23,599
Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous.
901
00:40:23,682 --> 00:40:25,726
Kids, stand back.
902
00:40:32,024 --> 00:40:33,692
[kids exclaiming]
903
00:40:37,904 --> 00:40:39,656
[all screaming excitedly]
904
00:40:46,663 --> 00:40:47,957
- [boy] There's no candy.
- Where's the candy?
905
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,333

- [girl] It's empty.

- Oh, my God.
906
00:40:49,416 --> 00:40:51,460
This is such a metaphor for their lives.
907
00:40:51,543 --> 00:40:52,544
Didn't you put it in?
908
00:40:52,628 --> 00:40:54,088
I wasn't supposed to put it in.
909
00:40:54,171 --> 00:40:56,882
And I was. Oh, jeez. It's
probably still in the van.
910
00:40:56,966 --> 00:40:59,093
Well, no point getting it now.
There's nothing to put it in.
911
00:40:59,176 --> 00:41:00,069
I'll take it.
912
00:41:00,552 --> 00:41:02,888
[boy] What's a piata without candy?
913
00:41:06,767 --> 00:41:08,144
[inaudible]
914
00:41:13,877 --> 00:41:16,964
So, aside from the fact that
he don't know how to shave,
915
00:41:17,236 --> 00:41:19,196
I am kind of happy
you have a man around.
916
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:21,698
Does he give you advice
about girls and stuff?
917
00:41:21,782 --> 00:41:24,451
His advice about girls was...
918
00:41:24,535 --> 00:41:25,702
"Wait until marriage."

919
00:41:25,786 --> 00:41:27,746
Good Lord, one of those.
920
00:41:28,830 --> 00:41:30,082
Now, you want some real advice?
921
00:41:30,166 --> 00:41:32,668
From my second mom or my used-to-be dad?
922
00:41:33,134 --> 00:41:35,962
From former man to current man.
923
00:41:36,963 --> 00:41:40,384
Now, when I was your
age, my dad told me,
924
00:41:40,488 --> 00:41:43,922
"Find a real insecure
girl and practice on her.
925
00:41:44,565 --> 00:41:46,692
That way, when you meet
a girl you really like,
926
00:41:46,848 --> 00:41:48,256
you'll be good at it."
927
00:41:48,891 --> 00:41:52,250
And you really wanna be a lady
in a world where men do that?
928
00:41:53,689 --> 00:41:55,232
God help me, I do.
929
00:41:56,630 --> 00:41:58,194
And you're never tight again.
930
00:41:58,277 --> 00:42:01,049
I mean, you could work
it back a little, but...
931
00:42:01,525 --> 00:42:04,033
it's never the same after
you've torn that shit up.
932
00:42:04,116 --> 00:42:06,327

And you'll always pee yourself

a little when you sneeze,
933
00:42:06,410 --> 00:42:07,994
and you never really sleep again.
934
00:42:09,288 --> 00:42:10,872
You got anything good to say about it?
935
00:42:11,157 --> 00:42:12,784
I just want you to be prepared.
936
00:42:13,959 --> 00:42:16,378
I mean, it's not all bad.
You end up with a baby.
937
00:42:16,915 --> 00:42:18,339
It just ruins your life is all.
938
00:42:20,091 --> 00:42:21,342
You sayin' I ruined your life?
939
00:42:21,425 --> 00:42:22,713
Of course.
940
00:42:23,135 --> 00:42:25,137
The day you was born was the end.
941
00:42:26,305 --> 00:42:27,348
[sighs]
942
00:42:27,431 --> 00:42:29,391
She's just so perfect.
943
00:42:30,351 --> 00:42:31,393
[baby Dayanara coos]
944
00:42:31,477 --> 00:42:35,759
How could anythin' be bad...
if we made somethin' like this?
945
00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,652
- [baby Dayanara fussing]
- [shushing]
946
00:42:43,489 --> 00:42:46,403

Anyone seen what's-her-name,

the little one?
947
00:42:46,867 --> 00:42:48,255
She was getting me punch.
948
00:42:48,392 --> 00:42:49,920
I haven't seen her for a while.
949
00:42:51,330 --> 00:42:52,581
Go look for your sister.
950
00:42:53,732 --> 00:42:55,068
Lucy?
951
00:42:57,922 --> 00:42:58,965
Lucy!
952
00:42:59,233 --> 00:43:00,839
Go look for your sister.
953
00:43:03,717 --> 00:43:06,052
Now, this is nice. Mmm.
954
00:43:06,137 --> 00:43:07,888
This makes me happy.
955
00:43:09,431 --> 00:43:10,557
Happy Mother's Day, Ma.
956
00:43:10,641 --> 00:43:12,309
Happy Mother's Day.
957
00:43:12,393 --> 00:43:13,477
[speaking Russian] Your head.
958
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,020
Your beautiful face.
959
00:43:15,104 --> 00:43:18,232
Yes. Well, now it's interesting.
960
00:43:18,315 --> 00:43:22,611
[speaking English] Ma... so, you
ready for things to get goin' again?

961
00:43:23,362 --> 00:43:25,130
[whispers] I got a
brand new LED headlamp.
962
00:43:25,989 --> 00:43:28,074
I think we're going to take
a little break, darling.
963
00:43:28,802 --> 00:43:30,286
Actually, a long one.
964
00:43:31,170 --> 00:43:33,214
It's too much to think about.
965
00:43:33,622 --> 00:43:36,713
I need to think about
the future, getting out,
966
00:43:36,821 --> 00:43:39,170
getting back to my life, my home...
967
00:43:39,511 --> 00:43:40,546
the market.
968
00:43:44,508 --> 00:43:45,967
I need to look forward.
969
00:43:46,051 --> 00:43:47,136
Yeah.
970
00:43:50,139 --> 00:43:51,973
Who's minding the store today?
971
00:43:52,057 --> 00:43:53,309
[scoffs] What you mean, Ma?
972
00:43:53,392 --> 00:43:55,436
[chuckles] What I mean
is, it's Mother's Day.
973
00:43:55,519 --> 00:43:57,313
That's always been a big day for us.
974
00:43:57,396 --> 00:43:59,523
Platters, baskets...

975
00:43:59,606 --> 00:44:01,900
[speaking Russian] We closed for today.
976
00:44:01,983 --> 00:44:03,819
Came to see you instead.
977
00:44:04,629 --> 00:44:06,363
[speaking English] We
can afford to do that?
978
00:44:06,447 --> 00:44:07,492
Yeah.
979
00:44:08,240 --> 00:44:10,742
[speaking Russian] It's fine. It's okay.
980
00:44:15,456 --> 00:44:16,957
Hey. Hey, hey, hey. What's goin' on?
981
00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:18,124
Lucy's missing.
982
00:44:18,209 --> 00:44:19,376
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh.
983
00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:21,044
No, stop. What are you doing?
984
00:44:21,127 --> 00:44:22,171
I gotta call it in.
985
00:44:22,254 --> 00:44:23,380
If you call it in, they're
gonna pull the alarm.
986
00:44:23,464 --> 00:44:26,007
The day's over for everybody.
She's here someplace.
987
00:44:26,091 --> 00:44:28,219
- Let me look a little more.
- [sighs]
988
00:44:28,302 --> 00:44:30,762
Okay, look, 20 minutes, okay?

And then I gotta call it in.

989
00:44:30,846 --> 00:44:31,930
All right.
990
00:44:33,515 --> 00:44:34,558
[Pennsatucky] In the name of Jesus,
991
00:44:34,641 --> 00:44:36,643
I ask that the souls of my unborn babies
992
00:44:36,727 --> 00:44:39,938
be considered to enter the Holy Kingdom,
993
00:44:40,021 --> 00:44:42,816
even though they never had
a chance to get baptized
994
00:44:42,899 --> 00:44:44,109
'cause I was wicked
995
00:44:45,110 --> 00:44:46,487
and I got 'em sucked out...
996
00:44:47,821 --> 00:44:49,197
'cause I was weak...
997
00:44:50,282 --> 00:44:51,617
and I didn't know any better.
998
00:44:52,951 --> 00:44:54,495
And I'm sorry.
999
00:44:55,871 --> 00:44:57,163
[sniffles]
1000
00:44:59,165 --> 00:45:02,300
I'm sorry that I never
got to be your mama.
1001
00:45:02,302 --> 00:45:05,041
Little Blake and Bonnie...
1002
00:45:06,298 --> 00:45:08,869
Boyd, Bethany...

1003
00:45:10,176 --> 00:45:11,177
Braeden...
1004
00:45:12,971 --> 00:45:14,806
and even you, little Buddy Jr.
1005
00:45:15,974 --> 00:45:18,184
I see we're fond of the "B" names.
1006
00:45:19,645 --> 00:45:21,021
Yeah, I always liked that letter.
1007
00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:24,650
It's like a whole little graveyard here.
1008
00:45:26,026 --> 00:45:27,944
Yeah, these are all my unborn babies.
1009
00:45:28,028 --> 00:45:29,026
Ooh.
1010
00:45:29,530 --> 00:45:32,908
She got the Mother's Day blues
1011
00:45:34,785 --> 00:45:36,537
Jesus, you look like the Angel of Death.
1012
00:45:36,620 --> 00:45:37,746
I get that a lot.
1013
00:45:39,039 --> 00:45:41,292
Yeah, I'm goin' to hell. I know it.
1014
00:45:41,375 --> 00:45:43,126
I mean, even though I
was saved and everything,
1015
00:45:43,209 --> 00:45:44,628
I just...
1016
00:45:44,711 --> 00:45:47,255
They never even had a chance, you know?
1017
00:45:47,339 --> 00:45:49,758
Son, you gotta let go of that shit.

1018
00:45:50,061 --> 00:45:51,217
It's easy for you to say.
1019
00:45:51,302 --> 00:45:53,845
I'm guessing you ain't
never had to abort nobody.
1020
00:45:53,929 --> 00:45:55,514
A bold assumption.
1021
00:45:56,932 --> 00:46:00,101
You ever read a book
called Freakonomics?
1022
00:46:00,126 --> 00:46:01,253
No.
1023
00:46:01,513 --> 00:46:03,772
What's it about, bearded
ladies and midgets?
1024
00:46:03,774 --> 00:46:07,237
Close. It's about economic
theory, cause and effect.
1025
00:46:08,402 --> 00:46:09,486
Sounds boring.
1026
00:46:09,570 --> 00:46:11,509
Mmm. It's actually a pretty good read.
1027
00:46:12,129 --> 00:46:13,824
They have this chapter in it,
1028
00:46:13,907 --> 00:46:15,826
"Where Have All the Criminals Gone?"
1029
00:46:17,411 --> 00:46:18,620
Over there in that field.
1030
00:46:18,704 --> 00:46:20,121
[chuckles]
1031
00:46:20,205 --> 00:46:22,248
You know, in the 1990s,

1032
00:46:22,333 --> 00:46:24,960
crime fell spectacularly,
1033
00:46:25,043 --> 00:46:28,450
and this book attributes that
to the passing of Roe v. Wade.
1034
00:46:28,714 --> 00:46:30,341
The Darkness of '73.
1035
00:46:30,424 --> 00:46:32,884
The exact opposite, actually.
1036
00:46:32,968 --> 00:46:35,637
I mean, the abortions that
occurred after Roe v. Wade...
1037
00:46:35,721 --> 00:46:37,598
These were children that weren't wanted.
1038
00:46:37,681 --> 00:46:40,809
Children who, if their mothers
had been forced to have them,
1039
00:46:40,892 --> 00:46:43,812
would've grown up poor
and neglected and abused,
1040
00:46:43,895 --> 00:46:47,983
the three most important ingredients
when one is making a felon.
1041
00:46:48,066 --> 00:46:49,735
But they were never born.
1042
00:46:49,818 --> 00:46:51,277
So, 20 years later,
1043
00:46:51,362 --> 00:46:54,322
when they would've
been of prime crime age,
1044
00:46:54,406 --> 00:46:55,824
they weren't there.
1045

00:46:55,907 --> 00:46:57,826

And the crime rate... [scoffs]
1046
00:46:57,909 --> 00:46:59,786
Dropped dramatically.
1047
00:46:59,870 --> 00:47:01,913
- What's your point?
- Well, my point is that
1048
00:47:01,997 --> 00:47:04,625
you were a meth-head,
white-trash piece of shit,
1049
00:47:04,708 --> 00:47:06,042
and your children, had they been born,
1050
00:47:06,126 --> 00:47:08,504
would have been meth-head,
white-trash pieces of shit.
1051
00:47:08,587 --> 00:47:10,672
So by terminating those pregnancies,
1052
00:47:10,756 --> 00:47:14,801
you spared society the
scourge of your offspring.
1053
00:47:14,885 --> 00:47:17,846
I mean, when you think
about it, it's... a blessing.
1054
00:47:18,889 --> 00:47:21,349
Never thought about it that way.
1055
00:47:21,433 --> 00:47:23,101
Well, maybe you should, hmm?
1056
00:47:23,184 --> 00:47:24,978
Maybe you should stop
punishing yourself.
1057
00:47:25,061 --> 00:47:26,772
I mean, what does a good mother do?
1058
00:47:26,855 --> 00:47:29,274
A good mother does what's

best for her children.

1059
00:47:29,357 --> 00:47:31,693
And maybe what was
best for your children
1060
00:47:31,777 --> 00:47:34,988
was wipin' 'em out before they had
to lead miserable fucking lives.
1061
00:47:39,493 --> 00:47:40,661
Yeah.
1062
00:47:40,744 --> 00:47:42,203
Maybe.
1063
00:47:42,205 --> 00:47:44,205
It makes me feel a
little better, actually.
1064
00:47:44,289 --> 00:47:45,582
[chuckles]
1065
00:47:45,666 --> 00:47:47,793
Good, then I've done my job.
1066
00:47:47,876 --> 00:47:50,183
- "Clown cheers crowd."
- [chuckling]
1067
00:47:53,632 --> 00:47:54,633
[softly] Lucy?
1068
00:47:56,009 --> 00:47:57,010
Lucy!
1069
00:47:58,053 --> 00:47:59,805
Where the fuck are you?
1070
00:48:06,520 --> 00:48:09,022
- [alarm buzzes]
- [sighs]
1071
00:48:09,105 --> 00:48:11,788
Motherfuckers. They couldn't wait?
1072

00:48:17,531 --> 00:48:19,533

I want to stay with Daya.
1073
00:48:19,616 --> 00:48:21,409
You're in so much fucking trouble.
1074
00:48:21,493 --> 00:48:22,953
[guard 1] Everybody, on the ground!
1075
00:48:24,455 --> 00:48:25,581
[guard 2] Get down! Right where you are!
1076
00:48:25,664 --> 00:48:27,248
- [kid sobbing]
- [guard 3] Get down on the ground!
1077
00:48:27,332 --> 00:48:28,584
[Black Cindy grunts]
1078
00:48:28,667 --> 00:48:30,293
- [guard 1] Get down!
- [girl 1] Mommy, get up!
1079
00:48:31,169 --> 00:48:33,421
[guard 4] Everyone out of
those porta-potties now!
1080
00:48:33,505 --> 00:48:34,506
[Nicky] Fuck.
1081
00:48:35,507 --> 00:48:36,675
We're on our way.
1082
00:48:36,758 --> 00:48:39,427
- [girl 1] Mommy, get up!
- [girl 2] Do I get on the ground?
1083
00:48:39,511 --> 00:48:41,597
- Mama, what's happening? Get up.
- It's okay. Mommy's fine.
1084
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:43,932
- [girl 3] Is everything okay?
- [guard 1] Stay down until we tell you!
1085
00:48:44,015 --> 00:48:45,350
[girl 4 whimpering]

1086
00:48:46,560 --> 00:48:47,853
[sobbing]
1087
00:48:55,486 --> 00:48:57,070
[Maria sighs]
1088
00:48:57,638 --> 00:48:58,639
Good day?
1089
00:48:58,641 --> 00:48:59,850
So good.
1090
00:49:01,157 --> 00:49:03,535
Yads, thank you for bringing her.
1091
00:49:04,255 --> 00:49:06,830
Okay, all right, mami.
1092
00:49:07,146 --> 00:49:09,082
I'll see you next week.
1093
00:49:10,166 --> 00:49:11,334
I don't think so.
1094
00:49:11,417 --> 00:49:13,044
"I don't think so"? What do
you mean, "I don't think so"?
1095
00:49:13,128 --> 00:49:16,047
She's getting bigger. She's
startin' to understand things.
1096
00:49:16,694 --> 00:49:17,567
I've been reading...
1097
00:49:18,793 --> 00:49:20,049
I don't want her seeing
her mother in prison,
1098
00:49:20,051 --> 00:49:21,219
thinkin' this is normal.
1099
00:49:23,429 --> 00:49:24,973
It's best we cut this off right now.

1100
00:49:25,056 --> 00:49:26,141
What are you talkin' about?
1101
00:49:26,683 --> 00:49:28,810
Ruiz, you move it along.
1102
00:49:28,894 --> 00:49:30,353
What do you mean, "Cut this off"?
1103
00:49:30,634 --> 00:49:32,230
- You gonna walk away from me?
- Sorry, Maria.
1104
00:49:32,313 --> 00:49:33,899
What, I don't have a choice in this?
1105
00:49:33,982 --> 00:49:35,692
Yadri... Wait! Wait!
1106
00:49:35,776 --> 00:49:36,777
Yadriel!
1107
00:49:36,860 --> 00:49:39,530
Yadriel! Yadriel! Coo!
1108
00:49:39,613 --> 00:49:40,781
Yadriel! [gasping]
1109
00:49:40,864 --> 00:49:42,991
Oh, my... Fuck!
1110
00:49:43,074 --> 00:49:44,367
[gasps]
1111
00:49:54,169 --> 00:49:55,837
[folk-pop music playing]
1112
00:50:34,903 --> 00:50:38,242
_
1113
00:50:46,471 --> 00:50:49,557
[music continues playing]
1114
00:50:49,558 --> 00:50:51,558
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa

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