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Nur Islami Javad - 29114584

#Reading 1
A Leaders Guide to Why People Behave the Way They Do - James Clawson, University of Virginia.
To be autonomous means to act in accord with one's self - it means feeling free and volitional in one's
actions. When autonomous, people are fully willing to do what they are doing, and they embrace the
activity with a sense of self, so they are being authentic. In contrast, to be controlled means to act because
one is being pressured. When controlled, people act without a sense of personal endorsement. Their
behavior is not an expression of the self, for the self has been subjugated to the controls. In this condition,
people can reasonably be described as alienated. Edward Deci.
5 Basic question of a man: 1. When Im cold, am I heated? 2. When Im hungry, am I feed? 3. When Im
wet, am I dried? 4. When Im terrified, am I comforted? 5. When Im alone, am I beloved?
And there is sixth question that will stand along our lives: 6. How can I get other people do what I want?
Solidifying the Tendencies: 1. Human Kind. Five basic needs (William Glasser - Wikipedia): Survival,
love/belonging/connection, power/significance/competence, freedom/autonomy and fun/learning. 2.
Regional Culture 3. National Culture 4. Sub-National Culture 5. Organizational Culture 6. Family Culture
7. Individuality.
There are ways that every human is like every other human and that ways that every human is unlike
every other human. Leaders must take into account all of these levels of similarity and dissimilarity. There
are ways in which we can treat all humans the same way. Yet, there are ways that we must treat every
individual differently.
One of the most persistent problems in leadership roles, worldwide: Many would-be leaders assume that
their own set of values mirror those of others and they fall back on their own view of the world in their
attempts to lead to lead and influence others.
Memes. Three kind of memes: memes of distinction, strategy, and association. One of the fundamental
challenges life and especially in leadership is to become more aware of our personal memes and to
decide, as adults, which we will perpetuate and which we will work to eradicate, in ourselves and in our
progeny, and in our associates and subordinates.
We are not architects of our own lives much less the lives of others, rater mere executors of the blueprints
of previous generations. Most leader, however, take a decidedly simpler view of human motivation.
Motivation. Most people who change jobs or leave corporations or withdraw from the involvement in
their work/organizations do so in large measure because their talents, interests, and abilities are being
ignored and wasted. They see large gaps between who they are, what they want to be and can become,
and what the organization asks of them. Perpetuate meme people are homogeneous, predictable,
replaceable parts.
The control theory:
1. They respond to external stimuli (rather than choosing to respond or not)
2. They can make other people do what they want them to
3. Their right or responsibility to reward or punish others depending on whether they do what one
wants them to or not.
Total Behavior is comprised of activity, thinking, feeling and physiology (our bodily reactions and
chemistry).
A Leaders Guide to Why People Behave the Way They Do

Nur Islami Javad - 29114584

The truth is, we choose our responses to the world.


The Rational-Emotive-Behavior Model (REB): a way of digging
deeper, of getting below the surface of human behavior, of
understanding human behavior and its motivations of leading more
effectively.
How we observe can even change what we see. Observation is all we
see, rather than perception is what lefts to our awareness after weve
filtered out whatever it is that we filter out.
VABEs is Values, Assumptions, Beliefs, and Expectations. VABEs is
vary in strength, vary considerably from person to person. People
have VABEs both about the way other people should behave (the external view) and about the way they
themselves should behave (the internal view ideal self).
REMARKS
The key to understanding why people behave the way they do is in the comparison what they see and
what they believe ought to be, the comparison between ones perceptions and ones VABEs. Judgment,
internal conclusions. Self-image. Emotions and feelings.
Event + VABE Conclusion Emotions Behavior
If we try to change a persons behavior by looking only at the behavior, we are guessing.
Carrot and stick system. Carrot rewards. Stick punishment. Dealing with negative feedback is difficult for
most of us because we all want to conclude positive things about ourselves.
The basic purpose of all human activity is the protection, the maintenance, and the enhancement, not of
the self, but of the self-concept or symbolic self. S.I. Hayakawa: ideal self, self-image, and self-esteem. It
results defense mechanism. We will go to extraordinary lengths to protect our self-concept, our view of
ourselves. If you want to influence others, you must learn to talk with them in ways that will tend to keep
their defenses relaxed rather than activated.
Defense Mechanism:
1. Healthy, productive: altruism, humor, suppression, anticipation, sublimation.
2. Moderately healthy: intellectualization, repression, displacement, reaction formation,
dissociation.
3. Unhealthy, unproductive: acting out, passive-aggressive behavior, hypochondriasis, schizoid
fantasy, projection.
4. Dangerous: distortion, denial, delusional projection.
Implications for managers
1. One should be attentive to ones own motivations and "memetic endowment.
2. One must be alert to the little tips of psychological icebergs (VABEs).
3. Unless we understand the core VABEs of a person, we are not likely to be successful in guiding
them through a change process.
4. Guessing is not managing.
5. How true manager can see VABEs of a person and confirm it clearly. Moreover, coach, delegate,
or elses to improve.
A Leaders Guide to Why People Behave the Way They Do