The official unofficial guide to understanding NTs and interacting with them.

The important concepts

are written in bold.

NT Behaviors
1. NTs (neurotypicals) literally feed off of social interaction. Its like crack to them. Its why
a vast amount of people use social networking sites like Instagram and Facebook.
2. NTs react more emotionally than Aspies. This, in my opinion, is crucial to how to
successfully interact with them. They dont react with logic, they react with emotions.
3. NTs have a negativity bias. (This is probably not NT-exclusive however). For example If
you say something to an NT that could be interpreted as a compliment and an insult, most
NTs will interpret it as an insult and react negatively.
4. NTs tend to complain about people they dont like, and this is often a way to build up
friendship.
5. Most, if not all of these social cues are processed at a subconscious level.

Social Rules
Social rules are certain rules put in place when in conversation with an NT. Depending on the
person, situation, and emotions involved, NTs responses to things can vary, sometimes wildly.
However, there are a few basic things that happen between a conversation between two NTs, and
I believe that these are the case throughout most of the world.

1. Eye contact. Eye contact is the way you let your conversational partner know that you
are listening to them and that you care what they have to say. Otherwise you look either
suspicious or unconfident, and your partner may be offended (see #3 of NT behaviors)
2. Flow to a conversation. This is more of a broad concept. When you are speaking to
someone about the exams last night, you dont want to change the subject about the uses
of horse manure (The NT will react uncomfortably if you do this). Instead, when the both
of you have ran out of things to say about the subject, change it to a related subject like
the teacher of that class, or the project you are about to do. Let the
conversation flow like a river.

3. Different situations. You can tell someone the funniest joke in the world, but theyre not
going to laugh if its at a funeral. Similarly, if you tell someone a story from /r/baww at a
party, they will get angry at you for ruining their mood.

Stages of Friendship
Even though they can make friends pretty quickly, NTs dont see everyone as a potential friend.
There are stages of friendship that all friendships go through, in the world of NTs. In order to go
from stage to stage, one must repeat the kind of conversation that happens within that kind of
stage (Each friendship stage has its own special type of conversation). Given enough time, the
NT youre trying to build a relationship with will feel that youve developed a closer bond, and
will accordingly converse with you in the context of the next step. (e.g., if the NT feels that s/he
has gotten emotionally close enough to you, s/he will begin to talk to you like an acquaintance
instead of a stranger). Social interactions get less formal the deeper you are into a friendship, and
the amount of trust the NT puts in you rises.
1. Strangers - Social interaction doesnt happen much at this stage. Conversation, if any, is
limited to Hey, could I borrow a pencil?, What is the answer to #3?, Whats the
time? and things like that. Small talk is most prevalent at this stage. No intimate
emotions involved.
2. Acquaintances - Acquaintances are the social stage after strangers. Heres an example
of an acquaintance to get my point across better: You see your acquaintance in a school
hall, or a public place, you say hi to each other, and maybe share some small talk, but
there is nothing deeper to it than that and there are no intimate emotions involved.
3. Friends - This is the middle stage. Around this point, your conversations start to break
off from small talk and start to delve into more personal topics, like a shared interest or
family and mutual friends. Intimate emotions involved are low to moderate.
4. Good friends - You and the NT should be casual and comfortable around each other by
now. Bantering and teasing should be common. Your friend feels close to you and you converse
regularly. Intimate emotions involved are moderate to high.

5. Best friends - (Not quite sure what a best friendship entails, since Ive never really had one.
If you guys could help me out with this in the Doc comments/Reddit comments that would be
great). They will com

e to you with problems. You are there to both listen to and validate their experience, and also to
offer advice - usually from your own similar experiences. If you have no similar experiences
then just offer advice that you think will work, but above all, remember to validate their
experience. Dont say, Why would you feel that way? That seems pointless and illogical to me.
Instead say, Oh I can see why you would feel that way. They will also bring up things from the
past that made you both feel good - jokes, experiences you had together. They may also share
information of a more personal nature that they wouldnt necessarily share with good friends or
acquaintances, for example, a medical problem or a problem with a relationship with their
significant other or close family member. It is interesting to note that some NTs will share this of
information with anyone and everyone and therefore they dont really have best friends, they
just treat everyone the same way.
6. Romantic relationship - (Never had one of these either. Once again, if you could help me
kind out with this that would be great too).

Socially Unacceptable Topics

These are topics NTs have aversions to, and will react uncomfortably when brought up in almost any
context, in possibly almost every stage of friendship. Here is a swift list of everything I could think of:

Genitals (this includes breasts and animal genitals)

Body excretions (Excrement, urine, , vomit, etc). Sweat and blood are semi-okay for some reason.
Really niche things (Like geology, quantum mechanics, and other things the average NT may not
understand or have an elementary understanding of).
Very personal things (like a bad breakup youre going through, a family death that just
happened), most NTs dont want to hear about that because of the high emotions that are
involved.

There is probably going to be more added to this document as I go on and learn more NT behaviors and
cues. If I missed something, please add it in the Reddit comments (or the comments on this Doc) and if it
seems plausible, I will add it here! Happy New Year, everyone!

JAN 13, 2015 EDIT:

The Snowball Effect

The Snowball Effect is, when, a social rule is broken, if you continue to break rules after the
initial transgression, you will be met with increased hostility/uncomfortableness than if you had
kept quiet.

Heres an example to show you what I mean:

Aspie: *Breaks social rule*
NT: *Uhh, WTF??? (Hostility/Uncomfortableness level: 50)
Aspie: *Is confused, continues to break social rules unknowingly*
NT: You are really starting to piss me off now (Hostility/Uncomfortableness level: 100)
Interestingly, the converse also works. If you make someone laugh or have an otherwise
positive interaction with an NT, they will respond better to positive social interactions in the
immediate future. (This Snowball Effect usually resets after about 5-10 minutes of not
conversing with the NT in question.