T h e Le a d in g M a n

Program Eight
Your Wildest Dreams Made Possible
My name is Scot McKay, and in this audio program we're going to be talking about
unreasonable expectations made reasonable. I've kind of subtitled this Your Wildest Dreams
Made True. Now, that's kind of a title that's going to conjure some thoughts in your head.
Man, this maybe too good to be true. But listen. I'm interested in taking you from good to
great. That's what we're specializing around here at X & Y Communications, and this is going
to be no exception.
You see, there's a lot of talk about limiting beliefs out there. Usually, this is in the context of
our own personal limitations, mostly because we as guys just can't get out of our own heads.
We think about our own wants. We think about our own needs, and we often fail to consider
what's going on in the minds of women and what contributes to a good partnership between a
man and a woman. Indeed, that inability to get out of one's own head is what contributes to a
lot of lack of skill in terms of relating to women in general, if you think about it.
Now, indeed, sometimes those limiting beliefs as we call them can indeed apply to women
also--and even relationships at large. We tell ourselves things just aren't possible when in
fact they're very much possible. They really can happen. And in this audio program, I'm
going to address exactly those concepts.
Now, which one of us, guys, hasn't watched what happens in movies between men and
women and pronounced it impossible? I mean, look at how women talk about guys in their
lives when you watch it on TV. Like you think of Sex And The City and things like that. Do
women really talk like that?
Do they really get with their girlfriends and just glow about this certain guy they've been dating
whereas this other guy just gets blasted apart? Are women really falling in love and chasing
guys, creating unbelievable romantic situations for the guys in their lives?
You may even watch how women react to guys in certain porn movies and say, Huh! It'll
never happen. So then, are there unrealistic things that are portrayed? Of course, there are.
But remember that what comes after the word but is always the most important. The vast
majority of what we tell ourselves isn't possible is possible.
Now, you see, I personally used to believe that most of what other guys talk about in terms of
their amazing dealings with women was hyperbole. You know, what goes on the in the lockerroom and so forth. I used to believe that there was no such thing as a happy marriage. And
after my divorce, it was especially easy to think that way, having had my wife leave me--when
really everybody told me it was no fault to my own--and taking my daughter with her, and
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
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Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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even sometimes using her against me as a weapon.

It was easy to think, You know what? Look. I've done everything I possibly could do for this
woman and it still ended badly.
Well, once I got better at attracting women, some of those previously unthinkable or
impossible things really started to happen in real life. Some of the things that only happen in
the stories told by other guys or only happened in the movies-- they really started happening.
But even then, other limiting beliefs took the place of the old ones. For example, I started to
think that monogamy was a myth and that this variety that I was experiencing with the number
of women in my life was really the ultimate. And there was not going to be any way I could
ever go back and be faithful to any one woman.
I haven't really shared that with anybody before. But when I was at the height of dating lots of
women at once, I was saying, Hey! You know what? I really do want to find one great
woman someday, and I really do want to find out what it is that I want in a woman. But man,
when you start really getting successful at attracting women and having a bunch of them in
your life, it's very easy to say, Man, am I ever going to be able to pare this down to one
woman?
You hold out the hope that you're going to find this one great woman, but you know what?
That limiting belief really, really can creep in. Well, you know the end of that story. You know
that I met Emily and all the other women were gone within eight days. So, again, there was
another limiting belief that went down the drain.
Now, you see, I want you to experience the fullness of what success with women can bring.
That's my sincere goal with everything we do around here and especially with this particular
audio program.
Now, you may have the Big Four down and you may have all but conquered your own
personal limiting beliefs. By Big Four, of course, I mean that you're confident, that you're
masculine, that you're a man of strong character--you do what you say you're going to do,
and you do what's right even when you're in private--and, of course, that you can inspire
confidence in women. You can give them the safety and security that they need.
Now, you're going to find that all four of those are absolute cornerstones (one at all four
corners, right?) with regard to helping you transform how you view the world from within as
well as from withouthelping you get over those limiting beliefs. And I've got multitude of
articles and even some past audio programs that I've done that can help you sort out the Big
Four in your life.
Now, once you have conquered all of your limiting beliefs in terms of the Big Four, you'll
become the kind of man that you want to be. Its only when youve allowed yourself to accept
and believe that amazing things are truly possible in terms of how women can react to you, in
both the long and short term frankly, that youll begin to experience the kind of wild success I
so often talk about.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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So, lets start breaking some of these down. In this first section, lets talk about attraction,
okay? One of the things that guys just tend to believe doesnt happen in real life is actually
getting women to notice you and smile at you first. I would say that most guys dont live a life
where they walk around with women just smiling at them and waving and being coquettish
with them.
So, how come most guys dont have that happen? Is it because were not worthy? Is it
because women dont want to smile at us? I dont think so. I think its because we have
approach anxiety written at our core even when were out in public just passing by other
women on the street. If you were more approachable in your demeanor, if you were more
gregrarious, more friendlyif you had body language that said, Hey, Im a pretty friendly
person. You can talk to me without getting your head chewed off. you would have more
women smile at you.
If you smiled at more women first, taking the lead, you would find more women smiled at you
back. Stop being afraid of eye contact. Most guys, when they see a pretty woman, what
would they do? They look right down at the ground. How is a woman supposed to smile at
you if she doesnt have eye contact with you?
If you want to take this one step further, you can make sure that youre a man who moves
with masculine grace. Youre acting like a man. Youre making a bold statement with your
style, with your demeanor, with your voice, with your body language, with how you carry
yourself that youre a man in the presence of women. And I tell you something guys, that
makes women smile without even realizing that theyre doing it.
By style, I mean dont go out with wife beaters and an old pair of sneakers on. Find some
clothes that make you look good so that you can catch the attention of more women and have
more of them smile at you. Also, I would say directness without intimidation is a very, very
major key here. You want to be able to address women, talk to them with confidence, but
without having this attitude that youre somehow dangerous. You got to put women at ease
and then theyll start smiling at you more.
Heres a second one: Getting women to think about you all the time. Now, how many of us
have read dating advice sales letters and seen this kind of hype--at least we thought it was
hype, right? Get a woman to think about you all the time. Well, alright, lets be fair here. I
believe, and Im on record with this, that there is more human nature than there is male or
female nature in particular. And you know guys, every one of us can raise our hand and
weve had that oneitis. Weve had that one woman we just cant just shake. We cant get
her off our mind. Well, what did that? Why were we so drawn to this woman? Well yes, she
probably looked great, but she captivated us with femininity.
Well, heres how that works for women. The good news is you dont have to be incredibly
handsome, but if you get to know a woman and you want her to think about you all the time,
youve got to have her best interest at heart without being needy. She has to feel that when
youre in her presence, theres something about you thats got her back. Youve got her
covered. Youre taking care of her, but you dont want something from her.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Another major key is that you always leave her wanting more. Always. The phone
conversations are just a little too short. You take her home from those first few dates just a
little too early. And guys, I realized this, man. I realize when youre out with a woman that
you really like, you want to stay up all night, stay up all day the next day. And you know, Ive
got on 72-hour dates before. Its not unreasonable. But youve got to leave her wanting
more. That will get her to think about you when youre not there because things were going
really, really well when you were with her. And think about itif you leave when things are
going well and she hadnt had enough yet, whats she left to do? Shes left to anticipate more.
That keeps you in her head.
You also have to be willing to leave, even if you like her. Like I said, so many guys get a little
selfish because they want to continue being with this womenwhen they know that they
should be leaving her wanting more. You see how that dynamic works? Youve go to have
self-control here, especially sexually. Its not just in the matter of whether youre leaving her
wanting more or not. Its, Can you enjoy her company and help that sexual attraction ramp
up? instead of just acting like a bull in a china shop and going for it before the time is right.
Can you make every moment an adventure? Even if its mundane, can you laugh and joke if
youre just picking up a few things at the store on the way? Can you walk in a park and hold
her hand and look her in the eye and do something whimsical--do something that she hasnt
done in years? Take her places, give her experiences, even in the moment making even
those small things youre doing massive adventures to her. How do you that? Its just the two
of you. And if youre attracted to each other, its easy to make every moment an adventure.
What you do is you dont let the conversation lapse, you dont complain, you dont start
worrying about things, you dont bring up the worries of the day, you dont talk about your
jobGod forbid. You just enjoy her company. You relax in that. Take away the stress and
enjoy this womans company.
And by doing that, youre going to make every moment an adventure for this woman. Youre
sexual without being sex-focused. This is the kind of thing that gets a woman to think about
you--because she is anticipating being physical with you. She is wondering what its like and
you havent worn it on your sleeve. Youve kept some mystery about you. That mystery, that
bit of intrigue, the fact that you have the patience as a mature man--to enjoy every moment of
getting to know this woman, to enjoy every unfolding experience that you have--is what keeps
you firmly embedded in her mind. Very, very important.
Now, how do you take that one step further and get her to fantasize about you? Well, the last
point that I made is no doubt a major contributor here, but I want you stop and think about the
very thought of having a woman fantasize about you for a second. Have you ever known for
sure that there was a woman out there who went to bed at night thinking about you? Thinking
about what it would like to be with you--having a little fantasy of you just taking her. Have you
ever thought about that?
A lot of guys think thats not a reasonable thought. They think women dont think like that.
They think that is something that some guys made up about how women are. Well let me
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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tell you something, women have very vivid fantasies. Now the last points that I made about
getting inside a womans head can very much germinate into her fantasizing about you. But
lets add some things to it. Lets add some layers.
If you can make her feel safe, even as you make her feel like a woman, its all-important, And
its all because you want to. If youre enjoying her feminine company, if you are doing things
that validate her femininity, she is going to start feeling like a womanand that woman wants
to feel that way. She doesnt want to feel like a neuter creature. She wants attraction. She
wants to be swept off her feet.
This is where things come in like walking her across the street and twirling her, like a dance
move. Kissing her in the elevator like I like to talk about so much. Picking her up. One of the
new coaches we have, right, Joseph Jensenhis favorite move is to take a woman and pick
her up off a park bench after theyve been sitting in the park together and then put her on her
feet. I think thats brilliant. I think thats absolutely fantastic stuff because youre making her
feel like a woman.
Now you dont have to be a gorilla-sized guy to do this sort of stuff. You do whatever it is that
youre capable of doing, and different guys have different tools in their toolbox, right? But the
important thing is when you open the door for a woman, she feels like a woman. When you
take care of something--when you kill a spider in the bathroom, right? It makes her feel like a
woman. That gets women to fantasize about you.
Now, if youve never lived with a woman before, if youve never helped a woman like in a
college dorm room or whatever get rid of some pest or something Whenever you do
something thats mildly heroic, sometimes women will look at you with these dreamy eyes.
When you get the dreamy eyes from a woman, guys, that means she is really starting to
think about possibilities with you. And when a woman is thinking about even long-term
possibilities, or whether she is thinking about just ripping your clothes off, theres a fantasy
going on there. For different women, it will be a different fantasy. But yes, you can make this
happen.
If you paint romantic pictures in word and deed If you learn descriptive language and take
her places that promote a sense of being alive This means being alone with her in your
own little world for a while and her feeling secure about it.
If you can take her somewhere in the country at night, under a full moon, park the car and
take a walk--when its just silence, you and the crickets and her--and she feels perfectly safe
with your arm around her, you are doing what it takes to create fantasies. Thats what it does.
Thats how women start thinking in those terms.
You start crafting rapport specifically in terms of sexual compatibility. You tell her she fits
when you hug her. You tell her how her lips melted magically into yours when you kissed her.
That reassurancethat feeling youre giving a woman thats layered on top of the feeling
youve just gave her by hugging her or kissing her or whatever, is what helps all of that
continued to build. The tension arises. The thought process gets kicked into gear because
youre leading it there. Build real adventure into her life.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, any of you guys out there who have a motorcycle--I dont care if its a Harley, I dont care
if its a GSXR--you take a woman on a ride on your motorcycle. Let her feel the breeze. You
know, almost no woman have ever even ridden on a motorcycle?
Now, I mentioned motorcycles in the character-based Keno Premium audio program and its
for good reason. You give a woman that experience, she is going to come back and she is
just going to be that much more viscerally accelerated, as I like to call it. In other words, she
is going to feel like she has been kicked up a notch or two in terms of her getting in touch with
life. You will be the guy who she attributes this feeling to, and that will cause fantasies to
start.
Any exciting hobby or even fun day trip where you get to be close and experience each other.
Those memories--that excitement--will be forever tied to you. And thats incredibly important
because it gets her to fantasize about you. And then, the clincher. When youre sure she is
completely attracted to you, keep building more and only fulfill upon it in bite size pieces.
Now, contrast that with ripping of her clothes ASAP. I mean, think about it. Guys love to look
thorough Victoria Secret model catalogs, then the women actually get the Victoria Secret
stuff. They put it on, and what do we do? We rip it right off!
Enjoy that woman. Enjoy her femininity. Help her enjoy the fantasies. And you know what?
Make her feel comfortable enough that she tells you about her fantasies. Get her to feel
comfortable enough that she tells you she has been fantasizing about you. How hot is that
going to make you? Then, you help fulfill each other fantasies together. And youre going to
get to a point where you are doing things and experiencing things in your life that other guys
really dont think existever. And I have just given you the blueprint for it right here.
Now, what about getting women to chase you? That is, so you have control over your
dealings with women. A lot of guys just flat out dont believe that men can possibly be the
choosers and women be the chasers. Well, lets talk step by step about how to get the job
done so that women are chasing you instead of you doing the groveling.
Now, we dont want women to grovel at you. That isnt very attractive. But we do want
women to understand that you are the guy who is in control of your dating life and that theyre
going to have to work a little harder to get you than maybe the next girl. You show interest in
women, but you always have options.
Options are the key.
If theres only one woman in your life that you have any chance with right now, theres no
chance that that woman is going to understand anything other than that she can kind of
evaluate you. She can take things at her own speed. She can call the shots because youre
going to be the one chasing her. Thats because she is your only option. If you have options
of your own, thats off the table.
Now again, youre not trying to manipulate women into a situation that they dont enjoy and
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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youre not trying to have the upper hand on someone just for the sake of having the upper
hand. What youre trying to have, as a very real situation in your life, is control over your
dating life instead of someone else controlling it for you. Namely, the one woman that you
must have at the expense of all others, even though you dont even really know her that well
yet.
So then, absolutely. You want to get off of this path of chasing women all the time. You want
instead women understanding that youre in demand and responding accordingly. I dont
think its ever attractive for anybody to chase anybody, to be completely honest with you. But
one of the ways that you can get that kind of control over your dating life is to not always be
available. If she calls you and says, Hey, lets do something right now. you dont go, Okay!
and jump like a jackrabbit at her beck and call. You dont do it.
If she has something she wants to give you, it can wait a little bit. If she has a favor that
needs to be donefirst of all, you dont need to be available to change all of her light bulbs,
wash her car, and do things for her. Thats chasing her. Dont always be there. Dont always
answer every call, return every single text message. You dont have time for that anyway.
Youve got to prioritize some things in your life other than her sometimes, right? So, let that
be a lesson--a very important one.
Express a desire to wait. Guys, overall patience is an incredible virtue, not just for manhood,
but in dealing with women. Outlasting a womans patience when she is attracted to you is allimportant. Im going to say that again. Outlasting a womans patience when she is attracted
to you is all-important.
Now, you dont leave her hanging. You know, if she is tickling you and hitting you with a
pillow when youre a watching a movie together, kiss the girl. But you shouldnt be the guy
who is over-eager for anything at any given time. That will help you in the business world and
on the sports field too, guys.
Now interestingly, in the midst of all this you do want to make the time that you spend with a
particular woman count. You may be seeing many women, you may have lots of options, but
when a woman is with you she must be the only woman in the world to you. Even though she
knows she hasnt exactly caught you yet. So you keep the intrigue going, you keep her
interest level high, and youre not using people. Youre not patronizing people. Youre not
saying to a woman, Yeah, well, what are you going to do to attract me? What are going to do
impress me? You dont want to end up like a caricature of a woman who is trying to get guys
to grovel over her. You want to be gracious. You do have options, but you must appreciate
the women who are in your life.
You could pretty much sum it all up by saying, Dont get caught. You know, Im still not to
this day. If a woman has caught you, that means you dont have options anymore. That
means she has basically hooked you. She has trained you. She has brought you into her
fold and she is in charge. And she is calling all the shots. She could be even wearing the
pants. If youre a guy who wants women to be competing for you instead of you doing all the
chasing, you must never ever, ever be caught.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, I love Emily very much. She and I now had a son together, so our lives are pretty much
tied at this point. But, she also knows that if she disappeared--God forbid--tomorrow from my
life, life would go on for me. I would be able to go meet other women and I would make a
happy life for myself. See, if I was caught, she wouldnt be able to trust me anymore. And
weve talked time and time again how important this trust is, how she needs to feel secure. If
she knows that I have options, the irony is the fact that Im sticking around by choice makes
me more trustworthy. And guess what? You know what? She has options too. Nobody
chased each other here. We selected each other from many options.
Now, how do you get women to forget other guys, even guys theyre seeing? Now, a lot of
guys say, Well, you know what, there is no way if you have any competition, youre going to
rise to the top. And if a womans seeing another guy, you know, obviously she loves him and
things are never ever going to get any worse, and shell probably end up marrying him.
Well wait a minute. Most women break up with the guys that theyre seeing. Now, if youre
dealing with a woman who is married, thats pretty much forbidden turf, I would say. I dont
want you guys to even think about messing with a married woman. Thats not just playing fair.
But when theres a woman who says that things arent going well with her boyfriend, you do
have a chance. You dont want to go steal her, you dont want to force the issue, but you do
want perhaps to position yourself as the guy who is going to finalize in her mind that she
needs another guy. And that guy is you if she is a woman you want in your life.
The first thing you do in these situations if you want to get women to forget every other guy on
Earth? You know, lets say theyre not dating anyone at all. Certainly, theres a few guys out
there they have their eyes on, right? How do you get these women to forget those guys,
whether they have a boyfriend that theyre not happy with or whether theyre single?
Well first and foremost, you relax in the notion that you have the Big Four down and that you
understand a womans way of thinking. If you can relax in the fact that youre what every
woman wants--and I dont mean that in arrogant sense, I mean, that youve taken the time to
figure out that women want a masculine confident man of character who can inspire their
confidence--and if you can truly grasp how important security is to a woman, then youre
going to be way ahead of every other guy she knows.
You will be the catch.
You dont have to talk yourself into believing youre the prize. You will be. Just say no to
letting this insecurity creep in over any potential competition because Im going to tell you
something guys, you dont have to pressure her to quit seeing other guys or thinking about
other guys. There are so few guys who understand what we talk about here that you will not
have any competition--or very, very little.
I remember I got to the point where when I did have worthy competition, and there was a
woman who was sincerely interested in another guy who was a worthy competitor to me, I
almost felt like finding him, shaking his hand, and saying, Man, way to go. You deserve her.
because thats how rare those kind of guys are.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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Now, on top of all of this, even if youve got all of this down, you can still blow it by saying,
Uhwhat are the other guys youre seeing like? Can you tell me about them? Thats going
to telegraph that youre still insecure about it. So, kind of put a lid on that. If she is
complaining about other guys, youve got to understand thats a good sign. Its not
necessarily a JBF zone indicator. I know that other guys teach that. Oh, well you know, that
if she is venting to you about other guys she is seeing, then she is just using you for a good
friend and a sounding board. But, if she is giving you notice--if she is serving notice to you
that she is unhappy elsewhere--thats something completely different.
You see, asking you for advice is one thing. Pitching you subtly to make a move is another.
When this happens, simply agree with her misgivings without mentioning any names. Defend
the guy if he is not really doing anything wrong, and dont pile on either. Dont say, Hey, I bet
he does this and I bet he does that and I bet he is just a really bad guy. And dont sell
yourself. I would never do that to you. I would be a completely different guy. I would be
much better to you. Thats starting to sound like an average frustrated champ and Mr. Nice
Guy. Just lay back and let her do the talking.
Now, how do you get women to initiate physical contact rather than playing keep away from
you? Now this is counter-intuitive but incredibly simple. Its almost a darn shame. Well you
know what? It is a darn shame that most guys think its utterly preposterous to think that a
woman would never initiate physical contact. Well, you are a masculine man without being
sex-focused. That all-important patience comes back in. Thats the first step. Then, you
appreciate her femininity. She smells good to you. Her vivacious joy is contagious and you
show appreciation by your actions.
She wants to feel like a woman like we just said before, and you deliver that feeling to her. All
the while, you are 100% genuine and not being sexually pushy. There is no agenda. Youre
not there to get laid. Youre there to appreciate a woman and ignite femininity.
Very, very different. No agenda whatsoever.
You are far enough above the fray. Far enough up the ladder of Maslows Hierarchy that you
are sexually appreciative without being sexually needy. Youre breathing oxygen, youve
eaten today, your stomach is full, youre safe. There arent people shooting at you. But unlike
other guys, youre also sexually fulfilled. Youre not out there desperately trying to get some.
Thats where youre separated from the pack. You acknowledge her female sexual presence
but have major self-control.
And heres an untold secret--and this is a massive point that 99.9% of all guys miss. Sensual
rules over sexual with women. Again, this is all about helping her feel like a woman and enjoy
all the feelings. When you give women positive feelings, when you give women feelings that
theyre proud to be a woman--that theyre attracted to you and theyre getting in touch with life
when youre around--this is helping awaken her senses. Her senses get filled when she is
around you.
This is why cologne and certain fabrics with certain textures are a turn on for women. For
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Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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them, its a sensual experience. You see, you get this right and youre going to be engaging
in foreplay without even mentioning the word sex.
This is how women operate. Im sharing with you the secrets of the universe. But in order to
affect this in your life, youve got to get out of your own head. Youve got to stop thinking
about what you want so much and begin leading a woman towards taking hold of what she
wants.
You do that by awakening emotion, igniting femininity. And if you can help a woman
appreciate that, if you can give her the smells and the textures and the tastesa nice glass of
white wine with the music in the background If you can please her senses, and appeal to
that sensual human being under there, the next step is that her sexuality gets awakened
because she has been ignited.
Now a lot of guys also think that women just arent good to men anymore. You cant find a
woman whos going to treat you right, at least not North America, right? How many times
have you heard that? Getting women to buy you stuff and gets you a beer without asking is
not impossible, okay? If you have ambition and a life plan, it will happen magically. Ill say
that again. Women will want to do things for you, they will want to do favors for you and be
good to you if you have ambition and a life plan.
In a womans mind, the guy is supposed to take care of the macro stuff. In other words, being
the provider. Having a long term outlook on things that she can believe in, that she can
subscribe to. When women can rest that the foreseeable future is taken care of, and that
they want to be a part of it, they will suddenly start wanting to support you in that. This is
magical, and zero men have ever considered what Im talking about here.
While planning this very audio program, Emily brought me coffee, rubbed my back, kissed
me, smiled, and left. And you know what? Youre never ever demanding. You dont say,
Woman, go get me a beer, make me some coffee. If need be, you do things yourself. You
dont treat her like your slave. And then youre grateful when she does these things for you.
You say, thank you, when she does right and you apologize when you screw up. If she
forgets to do something she promised, well then, you give her a subtle reminder, but you love
her anyway. You also give her attention, and return these favors. It cant be give and no take
on either side, but if you think youve got to give and give and give in order to keep a woman
around, she is going to get spoiled.
The other day, I was in San Antonio airport and I saw something that shocked me. I saw a
guy who was probably in his mid-40s and he had his wife with him, and he had his daughter
with him. For a split second there, the girl--who I think was probably about 21 or 22--for a
split second, I thought maybe she might be his girlfriend because she owned him.
She was like, telling him what to do, telling him how he could have planned things better,
wondering if she was going to get what she needed when they landed from the flight to
wherever they were going.
And it was only when the other woman who was about the guys age showed up and started
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tag-teaming with this little girl on dad that Ive realized here was a guy who completely got
pwned his entire life. Not only was his wife feeling like she could order him around, but the
daughter had learned that she could do the same thing.
Why?
My guess is this guy has given and given and given to these two women and theyve learned
how not to appreciate it. They dont even consider for a second that theyve got to do
anything in return to make his life better.
Now, does this guy I saw at the airport have any ambition? Does he have a life plan? Well,
Ill tell you what. I dont know anything about the guy, but I know that those two women
standing before him didnt have a whole lot of confidence, based on what I overheard, that his
plan was a good one.
They were questioning how he had planned the trip, whether theyre going to have a rental
car when they landed. It was really rather preposterous. Now, let me tell you something.
The girl was really cute. She was adorable, but I really feel sorry for any guy who crosses her
path someday because shes already going to have learned some pretty dangerous attitudes
if you ask me.
Now see, were talking about having the kind of field sense, guys, where not only you realize
that things other guys consider impossible with women are possible, but that you have the
ability to select women who are the right women to help make those realities your own. The
gal at the airport, you know, shes going to have a long way to go in order to find a guy whose
plan and ambition she actually respects because shes already going to be a little bit jaded.
That kind of thinking is true for just about everything were saying. Youve got to have a good
selection process when it comes to women.
Now, you know what? The concept of theyre not being any good women left A lot of guys
think its impossible that a woman will ever be faithful to you. These women just cuckold you,
take all your money, your childrenleave and never come back.
Well, this is another simple one. Youre honest. You start out leading in honesty. You dont
tell her she looks good in a dress she doesnt look good in. You suggest another dress that
she will look good in anyway.
But guys are so used to groveling to women and sugar-coating everything because they dont
want them to run away--because they dont want to scare them away--that they end up being
Mr. Nice Guy. And theyre feeding a womans infidelity. You must give her nothing to be
jealous about. You dont sweep the presence of other attractive people under the carpet.
Theres no guessing what you are thinking. A healthy couple should be able to acknowledge
that there are other attractive people on T.V. or in the shopping mall without having to fear for
their relationship.
A woman needs to know you selected her from many options rather than settling for her. You
take the lead in being in the relationship by choice rather than by default. This is all about
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trust, like we talked about earlierwhich is all about safety and securitywhich of course is
what women are all about in general.
Given the woman with the moral scruples to begin with, that youve chosen out of many
options--which is crucial--if you help her feel secure in your relationship, you keep her
resentments at bay. And here it is: When she doesnt resent you, she wont feel justified in
being dishonorable toward you--up to and including cheating on you. If she cant justify it, she
wont do it. You just keep doing what it was that attracted her in the first place. You take care
of her in the bedroom. So, the simple formula goes like this: attraction plus taking care of her
in the bedroom plus making her feel secure equals no cheating.
Now, what about getting women to be honest in general? Some guys, above and beyond the
cheating factor, just dont think women ever tell the truth. They think its unreasonable to even
expect it. Well, you can expect women to be honest. What Ive just described not only keeps
women faithful, it fosters that climate where they can tell you the truth.
But here are some other pointers for keeping women honest. First of all, snooping and
demonstrating hyper levels of being observant wont do it. Baby-sitting breeds contempt.
She will not feel safe with you around and she will not feel secure while under a microscope.
I mean, who would. Would you? In addition, youre honoring her when she is honest even
when its bad news.
Heres what I mean. You dont spank her for being honest. You graciously accept honest
grievances of hers when youve neglected something. You listen and if you need to
apologize, you do that. If you need to change something, you change it. Youre not a
doormat who apologizes at her whim. Theres a big difference. What youre doing is youre
honoring the fact that when she brings you news, whether good or bad--you know, if shes
crushed the car, if shes lost something--youre not going to tear her up over it. It is just a
human error. Youre honoring that honesty.
On the other hand, you refuse to tolerate any white lies whatsoever in your relationships. You
want her to tell you the truth at all times.
Again, as so often as the case, this is all about leadership. Now, what about getting women
to be dependable rather than flighty or flaky? You know, including returning calls, being on
time, whatever it is. Well, from minute one, you refuse to tolerate it. You dont build a climate
in that relationship that says, Oh, well she can stand me up, she can play with my schedule
because after all, she is hot. No, you dont do that. You flake proof her upfront and you dont
accept even one time of having been stood up or flaked out on.
How do you that? Well simply, when youre sitting up the first date, you say to her, Look, Im
a man who values integrity in the women that I date. Im a man of strong character. When I
say Im going to do something, I do it. So, when I set up this date with you, Im looking
forward to meeting you on Friday night or whenever it is. I want to make sure right now that
you actually plan on making it, because thats important to me.
Now, when she speaks it with her own lips, she will probably follow through and meet you
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there. If she doesnt, well then guess what? Youve dodged the proverbial bullet because
that woman has absolutely no character. If shell speak it and make a promise, then not
follow through, youre better off without her.
Now if she is late--and were talking, you know, by more than a little bit--and its habitual, tell
her, thats unacceptable. Dont care how hot she is. She doesnt earn the opportunity to be
late and to keep you waiting simply because she looks good.
Now on the other hand, you want to put trust in a woman so that you let her know that you
expect responsibility from her. Verbalize that youre depending on her in certain instances.
Help her feel her contributions to the relationship are worthwhile. See, the problem here is
men, you know, we basically wrestle everything responsible from women a lot. We take all
the responsibility off their shoulderstake it right off the table. So you know what, we
shouldnt be surprised when women become flaky because nothings required of
themnothing is expected of them. Its like theyre being expected the same amount that a
five-year-old would be expected all over again, now that they are grown up. We shouldnt be
doing that to the women in our lives.
Often, its easy to see flaky events as little things that shouldnt be made a big deal of. But
you know, but tolerating it, were creating a wasteful lifestyle. So, see what we do is we take
all the responsibility off a woman shoulders, then when they flake out, we excuse it. And
then, we wonder what happen.
No matter how hot she is, first of all, you walk away from a woman who is inherently flighty
when you meet here. Its just not worth it. But you need to check yourself. You need to look
in the mirror and say, Am I actually contributing to women being flighty in my life? Because
if youre seeing women all the time who are devoid of responsibility, you maybe lifting it right
off of them and theyre just responding to your leadership. Amazing, huh?
Ironically, I learned this lesson the hard way from all people, a flight attendant. You know, on
again and off again. The first time we met, she actually pursued me from Match.com. And
then we went on a few dates where she was saying, Wow, youre like my soul mate, youre
like the perfect person for me. Then after a week, she disappeared.
I wondered what happened. Literally, Ive read the newspaper wondering if there was airline
disaster or something. Three or four months later, she called me up going, Hey, you know
what, Ive been thinking about you and I had this tough stuff going in my life before. But now,
Im ready to really get to know you better.
Well, why did I do? Foolishly, I accepted that. Another week of whirlwind, just amazing fun
together, then she disappeared and I never heard from her. She called me at like Christmas
or something and wished me well. But you know what, it wasnt going to happen a third time.
Id learned the lesson.
Now, there are a lot of guys out there who think all women are crazy, and you know, Im
raising my hand because I used to be one of those guys. Guys, look, if I can believe it, you
can believe it. All women are not crazy. I mean I literally went from a guy who was dating
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mostly crazy women to hardly ever dating any crazy women ever again just by believing that.
So, what can you do to actually make it so youre dating less crazy women and making the
women around you less crazy? Well, the first thing you can do is build security by
demonstrating stability.
How do you know if the women in your life really are emotionally challenged if youre the one
creating the drama, right? You are the guy who helps women feel secure. Youre stable. You
offer the voice of reason when the chips are down. Youre a man who can handle crisis and
adversity, and in doing so you will be instilling in a woman the ability to relax where she hasnt
in the past. She doesnt have to get worried. She doesnt have to get anxious. You have
everything under control. You have it all handled. When she does start getting emotionally
out of control, you call her out on it-- right there on the spot.
I think youve probably noticed that when women start building drama, it has a tendency to
snowball. Have you noticed that? It starts off kind of small, then the tension builds, and then
she is just on pins and needles. Deal with it early and deal with it often. Reassure her you
have it under control.
Now, for a woman who has a history of mental illness, especially psychosis, think twice. You
cannot reason with an unreasonable person. At the first sign of this, youve got to walk away.
Any time you spend with an unreasonable woman is lost time that you couldve spent
discovering women who are emotionally stable.
Now, Ive been accused of speaking too absolutely about this particular matter in the past.
Certain individuals have been quick to tell me that mental illness is like any other illness and
its not the choice of those who are affected. And as such, people who are mentally ill
deserve the right to be loved, et cetera, et cetera.
Well you know, Im not going to argue with that. But having lived through a long-term
relationship with an unreasonable person, my recommendation remains that you let someone
else take up that task.
Now of course everything that weve talked about so far really does apply to relationship
management. Now, lets talk about some principles that directly apply to the relationships you
have with women in your life. Because there are indeed some areas where guys see a
relationship with the woman in their life and just dont really see the forest for the trees in
terms of knowing what could be possible in terms of managing those relationships.
What about dating more than one woman at once without making them all mad? Some guys
think thats just impossible. Thats a myth. You cant date more than one woman at once.
Honesty. You dont hide the issue. You tell women in your life that you take exclusivity every
seriously. You dont throw away the ILYs--you know, the I love yous--and you tell them that
love is not cheap to you. You love big. Your love is not too small. Youre interested in making
sure you know what you want from a woman so that when the right one comes along, youll
recognize her genuinely. This involves meeting and getting to know different women.
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From there, you stick to your guns. You dont call the women in your life everyday and you
dont see them all four times a week. See, in those cases, your actions betray your words
when youre calling a woman everyday and youre seeing her lots of times she is going to
start feeling like your headed towards something thats exclusive.
And of course, we covered the whole concept of how to handle multiple long-term
relationships in great detail on a complete program devoted to that subject. This leads to the
next line item in our discussion today, which is having women not try to lock you down.
Some guys think all women only want exclusive relationships. This whole concept of meeting
women and having them want to keep things casual, thats a myth. Thats not something that
really happens. Thats only something that happens in the wildest dreams of guys.
Ultimately, all women want to get married and theyre not going to tolerate not getting into that
exclusive relationship.
Well you know, this is kind of like saying all guys only want sex. I think most women
eventually want a relationship, but its a mistake to assume that all will want to lock you down
immediately.
You know, I think guys contribute to their own demise here by making that assumption. Dont
dread this sort of conversation with a woman. Simply ask a woman what she is looking for.
You know, this happens as part of the script on every one of those blasted MTV dating shows,
I think. Just wait and hear exactly what she is looking for. What are you looking for from a
dating relationship? What are you looking for from your social life?
Listen, pay attention, then respond accordingly. If a woman has told you she is interested in
jumping into something serious as soon as possible, then you tell her whats on your mind
and you see how she responds. But you may be surprised by what you hear. Thats what Im
saying here. Then you discuss it to make sure her logic holds together. Youre looking for
gaps. Is this woman saying, Yeah, I do want to take things casual. I want to see some other
guys. Im just looking to some fun right now. Then she starts mentioning how she wants kids
as soon as possible, she hates being alone, she is sick of dating Youre looking for those
inconsistencies.
Then you operate according to what was decided in this conversation, which she agreed to,
and you refer to it when necessary. But dont kid yourself. If she says one thing and she
means another, then you will have an unhappy woman. So, youve got to ride herd on this big
time. But the magic here truly is in listening rather than assuming because its far from the
truth to say that all women only what one thing, and that one thing being a relationship.
You know, in fact, some of you guys maybe thinking the exact opposite. Can I find any
woman out there who wants to have a steady relationship with me? They all seem like theyre
just a bunch of female players. They all seem like they just want to use me for a while, then
leave me. The funny thing about this juxtaposed with the last point is that it really does cast a
spotlight--you know a big bright light--on the fact that all of these absolutes, all these things
that we hold as impossible, are all in our own mind. Theyre not necessarily the same for the
next guy, which of course, you know, like I said, speaks boldly to the concept that all of this is
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based on individual perspective rather the indelible truth, anyway.

Maybe, you do believe that no women really want a relationship. Again, have the
conversation. If you want to make that relationship instinct a reality in a woman, you have to
go heavy on the Big Four. You have to really be masculine, really be confident, inspire
confidence in her, and be a man of great character. And then you pay very careful attention to
her signals. You dont go overboard at first. You actually avoid neediness and clinginess as
you would if you didnt want her to think in terms of exclusivity. You see that?
But when she asks, Why dont you call me more often? or she suggests that you hang out
more often, you kind of work in more phone calls, you work in hanging out with her more, and
then you will bring her to that level where she realized ahead of time she likes you. She
wants you around more often and youre heading her towards that relationship mode.
Pay careful attention all the while the trustworthiness and create trust in her. Share major
experiences together if you want this woman to be a girlfriend. What do I mean by that? If
theres a graduation, if theres a birthday party, if theres a big family event, any big moment
happening in your life, an awards ceremony, a major holiday, even if theres a major news
event and youre there watching the TV together when it happens, an election like were going
to have this year If youre tied to that woman, creating those common memories and those
circumstances, its not only a great yardstick to measure compatibility. It kind of binds you
together.
Now, note I said that any woman can be made to be pulled into a relationship if you handle
things the right way, at least potentially. Yeah, youve got to be this guy who is doing the
same things you were doing when you first attracted her, right? Typically, women really do
want a long-term exclusive relationship some day. Some, of course, want to rush in and
some are more prudent, but women who want flings and nothing serious at the present have
often been hurt and/or are suspect of men and cynical regarding relationships in general.
If you create trust with that attraction, you restore her desire to try a relationship lots and lots
of timesa high percentage of the time. You may have to weigh it out, but the formula is the
same regardless. Notwithstanding a woman so emotionally scarred that she is unable to be
one-half of a great relationship, I think youve got a great chance. I will stand behind the
statement that most women, in their heart of hearts, daydream about having a steady,
exclusive relationship with a guy at some point.
What about blissful monogamy by choice? Now, theres something most guys I would say are
at least wondering if it can be possible. Can I really have an incredible, happy fulfilling life
with one woman?
Now, like I told you at the beginning of this audio program, there was a time where I didnt
even believe that could happen in my own life. It took the right woman to come along and
cement for me that thats what I really wanted.
See, you do have to test the waters. You have to date women. You have to find to out what
you want. And you know what? So must she. You have to have options at the time you meet
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her and she has to have options at the time she meets you. Nobody desperate, ironically
enough, is ready for a successful monogamous relationship. Isnt that a wild thought?
Exactly the people you think would be craving a monogamous relationship the most are the
ones who are most unfit because they are not choosing their mate from a position of having
options. Theyre taking the first person who is going to come along if theyre desperate.
You must have options at the time you meet a woman who is going to be someone youre
happy with in a monogamous relationship, and youve got to willfully decide to forsake the
other options in your life. You must mark that moment indelibly in your memory, or else youll
waffle incessantly.
The green grass effect is only cured when youve hiked through all the meadows and
pastures you can handle and you have convinced yourself in a very real and meaningful way
that the one woman you are with is more interesting to you at any given time than any other
womanand youve tested the principle over time.
Then and only then do you enter into a monogamous relationship expecting it to last. Youve
got to make sure youre old enough to not risk becoming a different person over time either.
When youre 19 or 20 years old, you could be a completely different person by the time youre
25. If youre a little bit older, thats less likely.
When youre with a woman and youre thinking she maybe the one who youre going to be
able to be monogamous with for the rest of your life, youve got to make sure that the sum of
your individual parts is multiplied rather than added when youre together. Youre not just two
people who are pretty good when youre together. As a team, youre better than you were as
individuals. Your lives are enriched in every single way when youre together, not just
sexually. You cant have a monogamous relationship that is successful over time thats build
purely out of sex.
At the end of the day, once youve had sex with a woman ten times or so, youll know your
way around her and the pure novelty will no longer be an issue. The woman who thrills you
must be someone you truly enjoy pleasing, not simply for the sake of sexual pleasure in and
of itself, but as a mind-blowingly intimate component representative of your complete full lives
together. Complete trust, complete openness, no insecurity--it equals a great life and it
equals great sex.
What I have shared with you is the secret to not only knowing that you know that you know
that its time to spend the rest of your life with this one person and making that decision from
a position of strength, like I always talk about, but also being able to go forth together as a
couple--as a team--knowing that youve got a fulfilling life ahead of you.
What about eliminating gold diggers? You know, there are a lot of guys out there that think,
Oh, women only want our money, and if youre not a rich guy, no women want you. Well,
women do want a man who can provide. But youre differentiating a woman who takes from a
woman who shares, and youre differentiating a woman who understands the power of a
mans ambition and his plan--which is often characterized by money--versus a woman who is
just shallow enough to want to take and get a bunch of things that money can buy.
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The woman youre looking for may want a man who can provide. Thats kind of hardwired
into women just like men are hardwired to like attractive women, you know, in terms of their
physical looks. But you want a woman, like I said, who shares. She gives willingly, even as
she graciously accepts from you with a genuine gratitude. Manipulation, in other words, If
you loved me, then youd give me this, lack of reciprocation and giving--especially backed by
those unkept promises in that regard.
You keep giving and giving to her and she says, You know, Im planning something really
great for your birthday and when it comes around, I want to give it to you. Then your birthday
comes around and she conveniently forgot. And she gave you, I dont know, a CD or
something, right?
If you say, Look, you know, you never give anything, and she goes, Oh, I gave you this and
I gave you that, and both of them were about 29 cents and the last thing you gave her was a
Mustang convertible If she has got an entitlement mentality--in other words, you owe her
something--all of those are warning signs.
Youre looking for a woman who is grateful. Youre looking for a woman who graciously
accepts your gifts and she gives back to you. Dont forgive this stuff because she is hot
either. Most of all, do not lead by example. Bestowing crazy amounts of gifts and generally
blowing a lot of cash. You know, youve heard women are turned off by being bought, and
when the guy is trying to impress with stuff, they arent very inherently interested. They kind
of come of as Mr. Nice guy, right?
Well, given that were taught time and again how buying women and giving them flowers and
lobster dinners doesnt work, you could pretty much extrapolate logically to say that if she still
is interested in you after all that, she is in it for the personal gain. As with so many other
areas weve discussed here, its leadership.
You know, I truly believe that most of us as guys really do want to provide for a woman. We
want to be her provider. Its kind of hardwired for us to want to do that, right? Because
women are hardwired to find a guy is a provider. But while youre leading a woman in a way
that shows you can and will provide, you cant tolerate her purely selfish intentions. Big
difference.
Now, a lot of guys out there are looking at the divorce rate--over half of the marriages will end
that way--and saying to themselves, You know its unreasonable for me to expect that Im not
going to just end up divorced. Shes not going to leave me, things are going to end with us
angry and hating each otherwhy even bother to build a relationship with a woman?
You know, this is a point that entire books and extensive multi-hour programs have been
devoted to, so Im not going to pretend to cover it fully here. Still, Id be remiss not to mention
it in the context of whats perceived as unrealistic expectations nowadays.
Now, this may sound strange, but I believe that the time to prevent your divorce is before
youre married. Take time with a woman. Dont jump into something. Measure your overall
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compatibility. Be half of a great relationship. If youve got unresolved issues that youve got
to get through before you can trust any woman, before you can believe any woman is going to
be good to you If what were talking about in any way, shape, or form today doesnt
resonate with you and you just cant get past it, youre going to have to. Otherwise, youre not
one-half of a great relationship.
Youve also got to choose a woman who is also one-half of a great relationship. She has got
to like men. Shes got to have love to give, right? Dont excuse red flags--especially if you
dont have options and shes really, really hot.
Not idealistically dismissing true
incompatibility, right? Thats very, very important because if youre not really getting along
already, youre not going to magically get along later after youre married or after youre
together for a long time.
Youre going to have to figure out whether your desire to have kids being not so strong and
her desire to have kids being strong, or vice versa, is really something thats going to be able
to be resolved over time as youre married. If youre still young and youre a guy, you may
say, Wow, you know what, fatherhood really creeps me out right now. But can you see
yourself being a father to this womans children by the time youre 28, 29, 30, or maybe a little
older? Youve got to figure that stuff out before you sign an indelible agreement to be
husband and wife.
Now, as I mentioned in the book, Deserve What You Want, its really rare that two high-quality
people divorce. Someone seems always to be in violation of the covenant in one way or
another except in rare instances.
So, getting your house in order ahead of time and making solid choices equals a much better
game plan for success here and simple pessimism, which is just likely a self-fulfilling
prophecy. If you think youre marriage is doomed before you even ever get married, youre
probably be right.
Meanwhile, if youre doing what it takes to deserve what you want, if youre becoming the kind
of man who has something to offer a woman, if youre good to her, if youre a provider, if
youre talking about being the kind of guy who can attract her--the guy whos got the Big
Four going on--then youre going to deserve a woman who is a flexible giver like my friend
Doc Love, would say. Who isnt a gold digger, who thinks the best of you, will support you
in your ambition and do things like come rub your back and give you a cup of coffee when
youre playing audio programs, right?
Now, the last area were going to cover because I would be remiss if I didnt talk about it, of
course, is sex. I do want to mention that I am not a sex therapist. I do recommend Alex
Allman and his excellent book, Revolutionary Sex, so that you can learn everything you could
possibly want to learn about this and you can grab a copy of that at
www.deservewhatyouwant.com/sex.
But you know, in keeping with what were talking about here, a lot of guys wildest expectations
are sexual ones, so I wanted to address this. Especially since a lot of guys think that what
they fantasize about most really is impossible, so I want to debunk that.
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In the first point in that regard is that you cant really get as much as you want, when you want
it, and have her willingly give it to you. Well, there is a very, very distinct series of key ways to
make a woman in your life all about giving you sexual pleasure and all about bringing sexual
fulfillment to both of you, actually.
The first key is you never pressure her. You never humiliate her either. You dont injure her-God forbid--and you dont frighten her or creep her out. Above all, you dont creep her out.
You keep yourself in shape and you focus on her needs first. I mean, consider this, if youre
pressuring a woman when she doesnt want to have sex, if youre making her feel like a slut
or a whore when she does have sex, if youre doing things that she says oww, that hurts to
and you dont stop, and youre doing things that make you appear like a different person in
the bedroom or she thinks like her personal safety is at stake, youre going to take a woman
who may have had some ability to enjoy sex in the past and youre going to chase all that
away.
Youve got to take care of her in the bedroom and youre never going to be locked out.
Women are sexual creatures. Youve got to help her enjoy that sex and you do it by putting
her needs first. You take care of her. Do what pleasures her.
The other main point here is that if youre not sex-focused and can go without, then she
cannot use sex against you as a weapon. Think about that for a second. Women say, Yeah,
you know what, unless you give me what I want, youre not going to get any.
Im reminded of the joke about the couple who was on their honeymoon. And he is a big old
guy and he has married a petite woman. And he takes off his big size 48 pants and he goes,
Here, try to put these pants on. And the woman tries to fit her tiny self into the huge pants
and announces, Well, I cant possibly fit into these pants. He goes, Yeah, thats right, dont
you ever try to think that you can wear the pants in this family. So, his wife kind of turns up
her nose, raises an eyebrow and throws her underwear at him. And she says, Here, try this
on. And so the guy takes her panties and he cant get them any further than his ankles and
goes, Well, I cant get into your panties. And she goes, Yeah, and you never will until you
change your attitude.
A woman shouldnt be able to use sex a weapon against you. And she cant if youre not
focused on getting some, right? If its a partnership and youve set a precedent that way,
and it gets established that way that sex is something you do together--its all about her
enjoyment--then shell never be able to use that in a power struggle with you.
And by the way, dont do that to her either. You know, kind of like if you watched the old
Threes a Company shows with Mr. and Mrs. Roper where she always wanted some and he
was always, you know, trying to not get some. You should have a partnership. Sex should
not be something that is used as a bargaining chip. And if you can successfully eliminate that
mindset from your relationship with a woman, then youre going to be that much closer to
getting as much as you want when you want it. But the key always--always--is taking care of
her needs first.
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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How about getting her to perform oral sex? All the guys are like Man, you know, women just
dont like to do it, and its a myth that women really, really just love to do it. Well, guess what
guys? There are women out there who really do enjoy it, and I would say the vast majority of
them inherently enjoy it.
Again, this is not about not pressuring her, literally or figuratively. You know, you dont grab
the back of her head and make her suck on you. You dont do it. And you dont tell her, Hey
look, either you give me a head or you know Im not going to like you anymore, and make her
feel like shes got to do it.
Another thing you do is you stay clean, if you really want oral sex from your woman. Maybe
youve got to do a little bit of manscaping down there so that she will feel more comfortable.
You must keep promises not to ejaculate in her mouth if she is scared of you ejaculating in
her mouth. If you violate that trust, youre not going be getting what you want much anymore
from the woman, are you?
Youve got to understand that women generally find it distasteful because of previous negative
experiences or because they find it demeaning. Have you ever thought about it that way?
So, dont demand that she kneel before you with her mouth open like you saw in porn movies.
Make sure she knows she is giving you incredible pleasure and that youre honoring her for it,
right? We talked about that before. Allow her to choose which position she is comfortable in,
then make sure you perform mind-blowing oral sex on her. If you set the climate, if you set
the precedent, she will often come around to reciprocating--especially if youre not forcing her.
The key is to be careful and patient.
Some women have had very traumatic experiences here. If youve been one of the guys
handing out traumatic experiences to women, then it could be why you think all women hate
giving oral sex. But it couldnt further from the truth.
Finally, lets talk about bisexual women and finding girls for your threesomes. Well, you
already know by now that I am not a guy who necessarily is into dating bisexual women
myself or having threesomes. It has never really been my style.
But I want to go ahead and let you guys know that even when it comes to something this
preposterous, there are guys out there making it happen all the time. And Ill tell you how they
do it. Its a matter, first of all, of being sure its what you want.
A lot of times a guy will say, Man, this is my fantasy, and then if theyre actually faced with
the reality, theyre like, Oh my gosh, what do I do? This is really awkward. Is this really what
I wanted? In your mind, youve got to say, Look, are threesomes and dating a bisexual
womaneither/or, both/and--what I want? Right? First thing.
Next--and this is a really important secret--its a matter of avoiding judgment at all cost. Look,
if you inherently have something against lesbians, it isnt going to happen for you. Now, see,
a lot of women are bisexual. Wow! Its really, really true. I mean, when I was dating, they
E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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were dropping hints. And sometimes theyre not even subtle ones, mostly because I wasnt
judgmental towards them and I wasnt really demanding it of them. I wasnt the one dropping
the hints.
So a woman would say, Oh, you know that girl over there? Shes hot, or shed might say, If
I was a guy, Id do her. Maybe without the if I was a guy part even. One woman said to
me, Sometimes girl on girl porn turns me on. Well, that was a pretty clear sign. Watch how
a woman hugs other women. Full body-to-body contact is not usually what happens when
women arent bisexual. Thats a pretty strong sign. Women hug each other differently, as far
as their female friends go, when theyre not bisexual compared to when they are.
A woman is going to want to know that you approve of her bisexuality. Any hesitation or any
judgmental hint will kill it for you on the spot. The guys who routinely are going out with
bisexual women are encouraging it. Theyre proud of their women for it. A woman may still
go out with you if you dont approve of her bisexuality, but youll never know for sure if she
was or not. Isnt that interesting?
Instead when you start hints from a woman, encourage her to talk more and be honest. Its all
about her security, once again, as always. Dont pressure her to go get women for you. Its
just like the oral sex thing. Pressure is an attraction killer. And dont tell her that you
automatically assume that she is going to engage in threesomes with you. Accept her
bisexuality. Look for hints for more later, and proceed on the same way. Lather, rinse, repeat.
The more she feels comfortable with you, the more comfortable she is going to be and having
the threesome that she wants, and engaging in a lifestyle that you will be ready for with her.
Adore her womanhood--and hers first at all times.
Even if you do get threesomes with a woman who is bisexual, if you get into this kind of
relationship, you always have got to adore that woman first.
Now that, of course, was probably the bombshell of the whole lot here. But as you can see,
there are a lot of things guys think are impossible and Ive just laid out for you guys exactly
how they can be made to be possible.
Were about having your dreams fulfilled around here. Were about you going from a guy who
had moderate success with women to completely eliminating the obstacles in the past and
becoming a guy who is wildly successful with women, in complete control of his dating life,
and leading the kind of life you want with great women in it.
So, that about wraps it up. It has been a pleasure talking to you guys as always, and until I
do so again this is Scot McKay for X & Y Communications and The Leading Man relationship
management system. Be good.

E-mail Scot McKay: scot@deservewhatyouwant.com

For More: www.deservewhatyouwant.com
Direct Coaching: www.dating-coaches.com

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