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In The Presence of Absence

A haiku collection part I.

by Montana Bruns

I.

She got up to leave

at dawn and in that moment —

I must have left, too.

 

II.

Loneliness became familiar enough that I questioned attention.

III.

Conversations turned into passive-aggressive one word messages.

IV.

I

saw my shadow

and forgot about the lights shining behind me.

 

V.

I

don’t want revenge;

want you to feel the light sinking in your sight.

I

 

VI.

I can leave the house

but you’re stuck inside my mind

wherever I go

Certain sounds trigger memories but silence is always familiar.

VIII.

I’m drawing a blank that looks an awful lot like your text messages.

IX.

How unfortunate to have all you want to say never leave your mouth.

X.

My breath has become

a steady series of sighs between cigarettes.

XI.

You are not replaced;

I miss you more than my words could ever express.

XII.

I’m constantly in motion but still manage to get hung up on you.

XIII.

I didn’t chain smoke

until you started talking to somebody else.

Nowhere feels like home regardless of where I go when you’re not around.

XIV.

XV.

Inside a minute

I remembered and forgot why I left the bed.

XVI.

I scan the tree line

and wonder how many fell from growing too tall.

XVII.

The last thing I saw in my most vivid nightmare was what I wanted.

XVIII.

I don’t want to stop

riding the crest of the wave

that will swallow me.

XIX.

The irony is

I enjoy seeking answers

more than hearing them.

We all want closure without experiencing negativity.

XX.

XXI.

I’m getting closer — but the boundaries expand once I’m within reach.

XXII.

The strongest structures I’ve built are the boundaries I’ve made for myself.

XXIII.

What’s truly scary is when you decide to walk away from yourself.

XXIV.

I might be tongue-tied

but I’ll be goddamned if I

don’t want yours again.

A Change In The Tide

part II.

I.

I won’t minimize myself to be recovered at your convenience.

 

II.

I couldn’t count on anything to happen but the passage of time.

 

III.

I’ve spent enough time staring into the ocean unable to swim.

 

IV.

Today I’m dreaming of a tomorrow untouched by yesterday’s news.

 

V.

You crave honesty but shudder at the sight of your own reflection.

 

VI.

Lasting impressions exist both in our minds and on our mattresses.

VII.

I heard your message

but I’m not entirely convinced that you did.

VIII.

You leave the door locked and sit still wondering why nobody comes in.

IX.

There was a time when

I actually believed the excuses you made.

X.

My hand shook in yours when I realized it could hold more than cigarettes.

XI.

Three in the morning —

I heard your voice on the phone and forgot my pain.

XII.

I’ll put together the shattered pieces and make

a goddamn mural.

All haikus © Montana Bruns 2014 - 2015.