Wcip

ENGLISH 100
Writing Communities and Identities

8th edition
Editors:
Cynthia Debes
Anna Goins
Stacia Gray
Abby Knoblauch
Phillip P. Marzluf
Kansas State University
Copyright 2012 by the Department of English, Kansas State University

Copyright 2012 by Hayden-McNeil, LLC on illustrations provided
Photos provided by Hayden-McNeil, LLC are owned or used under license
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Table of Contents
Chapter One: Building a Writing Community
Letter to English 100 Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Course Description and Objectives . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3
Summary of Units . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
The Final Program Evaluation Paper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4
Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7
Principles of Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8
Your Role as a Student in an Academic Community. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9
Your Expository Writing Class as a Writing Community . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

Writing and Revising Reflectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15

Actions Writers Engage in While Working on a Writing Project. . . . . . . . 16
Common Names for Stages of the Writing Process. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Revision and Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers) About Revision. . . . . . . . . . . . 20
Guidelines for Successful Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25

How to Get the Most out of Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Writing a Revision Plan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27
Chapter Two: Introductory Assignments
An Introduction: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

Invention: Audience Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
Professional E-mail: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

Reader-centered E-mail Etiquette . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 37
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter Three: Gender Analysis
Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 39
Activity: Thinking About Visuals. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40

Important Vocabulary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40
Selecting a Visual to Analyze. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43
Invention Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Pre-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Men Will Be Boys by Michael Kimmel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49
Post-reading Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51
Pre-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Whats Wrong with Cinderella? by Peggy Orenstein . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Post-reading Questions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60
Drafting Your Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

Incorporating Sources to Support Your Claims. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Citing Sources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61
Organizing Your Memo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62
Workshop Guide: Gender Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

Workshop Guide: Self Evaluation/Peer Critique. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65
Rubric: Gender Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 67
Gender Analysis Example . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 69
Chapter Four: Invitational Writing
Invitational Writing: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

Reading Practices. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

Key Terms. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75
Activity: Word Choice. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

Taking Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Posing Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77
Activity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
Invitational Writing Readings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
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Excerpts from Experiencing Racism by Richard Seltzer and

Nicole E. Johnson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79
Nonlanguage Factors Affecting Undergraduates Judgments of

Nonnative English-Speaking Teaching Assistants by Donald L. Rubin . . 84
Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? by Elizabeth A. Reyes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89
Racism 101: Race and the College Freshman by Alana Mohamed. . . . . . 92
Cyber Racism on College Campuses by Jessie Daniels. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93
Should We Study White People? by Laurie Essig. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Writing a Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97

Introducing Says and Does Statements. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97
What Comes Next After Says and Does?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98
Activity: Says/Does. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

Points and Particulars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99
25-Word Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
General Guidelines for Writing a Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
Workshop Guide: Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101
Invention Activities: With and Against the Grain. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102

Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104

Putting It All Together: Synthesis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105
Invitational Writing Sample: What Can We Expect Universities To Do?. . 105
Workshop Guide: Invitational Writing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107

Rubric: Invitational Writing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 109
Chapter Five: Informative Writing
Informative Report: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

Research Focus #1: Gender and the University. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113

Her College Experience Is Not His by Linda Sax. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
Research Focus #2: Social Class and the University. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Statistics on Social Class in America . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119
Questions about the Statistics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122
First-Generation Students, Social Class, and Literacy

by Theron P. Snell . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 123
Comprehension Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Research Strategies and Writing Strategies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

Choosing a Topic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129
Considering Your Audience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
Activity: Profile Your Target Audience. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

Narrowing Your Topic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135

Formulating a Research Question. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

Connecting Topics, Questions, and Audiences. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136
Finding and Evaluating Sources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
Learning the Big 5: Evaluating Web and Print Sources

for Research Potential by Nancy Trimm. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138
Activity: Finding and Citing Journal and Periodical Sources. . . . . . . 140

Note-Taking. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142
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Activity: Talk It Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

Developing a Thesis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
Organizing Your Report. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Forecasting Your Organization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 145
Using Memo Format. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146
Using Sources Appropriately . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 146
Activity: Plagiarize or Paraphrase?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 148

Constructing a Works Cited Page. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149
Report Using MLA Citation Style. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152
Workshop Guide: Informative Report. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 155
Debriefing Discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157
Rubric: Informative Report . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 159
Informative Report Examples. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
Free Speech on Campus by Kyle Heaton. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161
International and American Student Interaction by Jessica Heller. . . 164
LGBT, Young, and on the Street by Marlena Birkel. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 167
The Need for informing Female Teenagers about indoor Tanning

by Brandi Worster. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 170
Analytical Profile: Assignment Guidelines . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 174

Tips on Writing Your Analytical Profile. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 175
Activity: Analyze Your Audience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 176
Activity: Finding an Interviewee. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177

Conducting an Interview. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 178
Activity: Follow-up Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 181

Choosing an Organization . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182
Workshop Guide: Analytical Profile. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 185
Rubric: Analytical Profile. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187
Investigative Report Example . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
Never an Issue by Holly Weeden . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 189
A Choice with Only One Option by Katie Mosher. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 191
Chapter Six: Personal Ethnography
Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195

Discovering and Developing Your Ethnography. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 196
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198

Brainstorming Stories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 198
Activity: Invention. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 199

Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
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Narrative Strategies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 200
Strategies for Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201
Workshop Guide: Personal Ethnography. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 205

Rubric: Personal Ethnography. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 207
Personal Ethnography Examples. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 209

Strutting into the World of Femininity by Brandi Worster . . . . . . . . . 209
Moving into My Gender Identity by Katie Brophy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 212
The Death of a Hero by Dean Bergmeier. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 215
Chapter Seven: Reflection
Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 221

Worksheet #1. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 223
Worksheet #2. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 224
Workshop Guide: Reflection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 225
Rubric: Reflection. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 227
Chapter Eight: Handbook
Writers Notes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 229

Revision Plan Form. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .231

The Three-Ex Guide to Developing Your Ideas by Deborah Murray. . . 234
Visual Representation of the Three-Ex Strategies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .235

Open versus Closed Form: Determining the Most Appropriate
Structure for an Essay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 236
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 237
Activity. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238

Punctuation Made Simple by Gary A. Olson. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 238
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viii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Acknowledgements
We thank Deborah Murray, Robin Mosher, Julie Brogno, and all of our
Expository Writing I graduate teaching assistants, instructors, and students
who have contributed to Writing Communities and Identities.
ix
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
CHAPTER 1
Building a Writing Community
Letter to english 100 students
If we dont learn how to listen to these voices, in truth we dont really learn how
to speak. Only those who listen, speak. Those who do not listen, end up merely
yelling, barking out the language while imposing their ideas. Paulo Freire
Dear English 100 Students:

Welcome to English 100! Holding Writing Communities and Identities in your hands, you
now join a community of several thousands of students. If youre feeling apprehensive,
uncomfortable, or overwhelmed, dont worrythese feelings are natural, especially for
first-year students and for all students confronted with this challenging practice called
writing. Please use this textbook, as well as your complimentary copy of Prairie Lights,
your instructor, your classmates, and the Writing Center (in the E/CS Building, Room
122), as resources to help you navigate through this new writing experience.
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As the textbook title suggests, you will be joining a community of writers in English 100.
You will build a strong writing community by sharing your written work with classmates
and contributing your own ideas and perspectives in discussions. Additionally, you will
reflect upon your own identity: How is your identity written? What beliefs and values do you hold most important? How do others perceive you? In what larger social
groups do you place yourself? (Note: You may have many different, overlapping, and even
conflicting identity groups that you are a part of.) Building a writing identity is a timeconsuming process. Youll need to figure out what you think about controversial issues,
how your perspectives are different from others, and the reasons why you have certain
beliefs and attitudes. Fortunately, you will be able to depend upon your writing community in order to learn a lot about your writing identity.
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In English 100, you will work on papers that ask you to explore the social factors of
human difference that influence your community and help build your own identity, such
as gender, social class, and race and ethnicity. For writing classes, thinking about human
difference is especially important because good writing begins at that moment where
there are differences separating writers and readers. In order to write well, you need to
examine how your readers may view the world differently from you, including differences
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CHAPTER 1 Building a Writing Community
in beliefs, values, and attitudes that are influenced by gender, race, ethnicity, social class,
age, religion, and geographical location. Some of these social factors may contribute to
privilege, a powerful concept that many researchers use to analyze identity. According
to Allan Johnson in his Privilege, Power, and Difference, privilege is the unearned and
exclusive social and cultural power that some people gain at the expense of other people.
Because it is unearned, these people have not done anything special in order to achieve
it; they simply have this power because of where they are placed in the social system;
conversely, those who are not in the right place in the social system do not possess
privilege.
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Having just read that list of social factors as well as the definition of privilege, you may
feel that you disagree or feel uncomfortable with some of these concepts. This is okay. In
what may possibly be the biggest difference from your high-school writing experiences,
we do not demand your total agreement. The university writing classroom should act as
a space where you can express your frustrations as well as discuss your disagreements.
Universities are not places where everyone agrees. As Gerald Graff reminds us, academic
disagreement is what makes up the disciplines and research agendas of your professors.
If all your professors agreed with each other, and if you always agreed with your professors and the course materials, the university would become an extremely dull place.
However, in order to preserve the writing classroom as a place for healthy disagreement
and conflict, we do ask for you to respect the rest of the members of your writing community and demonstrate good will, patience, and the ability to listen. Unfortunately, television news programs and comment boxes on blogs and other Internet sites are not good
models for how people should respond to each other. Instead of shouting and constantly
portraying gut reactions, we ask for you to listen to each other and listen to yourself in
order to figure out why you hold certain assumptions and ideas. The quotation by the
famous Brazilian educator, Paulo Freire, which we included at the beginning of this letter, talks about this powerful need to listenin order for you to find your own ideas and
place to speak.
We hope that the activities in Writing Communities and Identities help develop your
writing. We also hope that you have a productive semester and a successful academic
career at K-State.
Sincerely,
A. Abby Knoblauch
Phillip P. Marzluf
Expository Writing Program
Department of English
Kansas State University
Course Description and Objectives

Course Description
English 100 is an introductory writing course that allows students to read and respond
to a broad range of texts and media that deal with various aspects of difference in communities and identities. Students will have opportunities to identify, describe, analyze,
and research these issues. Additionally, students will develop their capability to write
for specific purposes and audiences and gain experience in researching and writing in
academic contexts.
Importantly, in order to communicate effectively, students need to be aware of how their
audiences differ. An awareness of differences in beliefs, values, and opinions will allow
students to engage more effectively with their readers, especially in terms of the research
and examples they use as well as their style and tone.
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Course Objectives
English 100 connects the examination of diverse communities and identities in the United
States (defined broadly as differences in class, race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation,
and other factors like religion and geographical region) with the rhetorical concerns of
writing for different audiences and purposes.
By the end of the course, students will be able to

1. Demonstrate critical thinking when examining and analyzing human difference.
2. Demonstrate competence in academic reading and writing strategies (note-taking,

summarizing, and identifying main ideas) and reflect upon their writing process.
3. Analyze and respond to a wide range of texts, including advertisements, websites,
informative essays, editorials, and speeches.
4. Produce focused papers that have a consistent purpose and significance.

5. Support their main points with well-chosen examples and evidence.
6. Conduct research for specific audiences, select and evaluate appropriate sources, and
effectively integrate and cite these sources.
7. Guide their readers with appropriate organizational strategies and meet expectations
of tone and style.
8. Demonstrate awareness of their language choices and practice effective editing and
proofreading strategies.
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Summary of Units
Assignment Names
Gender Analysis
Invitational Writing
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Informative Report
OR
Analytical Profile
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Students critically read, summarize, and engage with several

controversial texts. They use personal experience and
explore their ideas about an issue, inviting their readers to
see where they are coming from.
In the informative report, students research a campus-based
or local topic related to communities and identities. Using
a professional memo format, students share their research
with a campus or local audience who have something at
stake in the topic.
In the analytical profile, students interview an individual in
order to determine how one persons life has been influenced
by social systems. Students integrate additional source
material in order to help readers explore the social systems
and grapple with their consequences.
Personal Ethnography
Reflection
Targeting a specific audience and choosing an appropriate

format, students discuss their experiences as a writer and
a critical thinker in the class. Students should demonstrate
how they have met the course objectives.
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Students analyze how visuals represent different groups

of people. Students describe how a visual reveals social
constructions and appeals to its intended audience.
Students write a narrative that illustrates how their identity

is influenced by such social systems as gender, class, and
race. Students use their narrative in order to analyze the
significance of the social system.
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Assignment Description
The Final Program Evaluation Paper

In your expository writing class, you will complete approximately five major writing
assignments as well as additional writing activities, including reading responses, freewrites, letters, reflections, and personal responses. Over the course of the semester, you
will be expected to submit 20 to 30 typed pages to your instructor.
In order to make sure that our grading is consistent from one section of expository writing to another and to make sure that our grading is objective and fair, you will participate
in a formal program evaluation process. For the final program evaluation, you will submit
a paper that has been identified by your instructor and that meets the course objectives.
Your instructor and an outside reader will score your final program evaluation paper on
the following four-point scale:
4high pass
3pass
2low pass
1no pass
A 4 indicates that your paper is excellent and surpasses the course objectives. A 3
indicates that your paper clearly meets the course objectives. A 2 indicates that your
paper has met the course objectives, though only minimally. A 1 indicates that your
paper has not met the course objectives.
After your instructor has scored your paper, the outside reader will evaluate it without
knowing what score your instructor initially gave. Your instructor will then tally up the
two scores, with an 8 as the highest and a 2 as the lowest. The grade of your final program
evaluation paper will be determined by these scores, according to the chart below:
Final Exam
8
A+ (100%)
A (90%)
B (85%)
B (80%)
C (75%)
D (60%)
F (50%)
No Submit
Class Failure
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If a scoring discrepancy exists, in which your instructor and the outside reader disagree
by more than one point (for example, if one reader scores your paper a 1 but the other
reader gives it a 3 or 4), then a third reader will also score the paper. The highest two
scores will be used to determine your midterm or final exam grade. Thus, if your paper
receives two discrepant scores, such as a 1 and a 3, and then the third reader scores it a 2,
you will receive a 5 for your overall score.
The final program evaluation paper is worth 25% of your overall semester grade. Your
instructor will assign 75% of the remaining grade based on the other major and additional writing assignments that you complete. Out of this 75%, your instructor may use
up to 10% for participation, homework, and other miscellaneous purposes.
At the end of the semester, your instructor will assign your grade based upon the following percentages:

A 90100
B
8089
C 7079
D 6069
F 059
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In addition to receiving an overall semester percentage under 60%, there are three additional ways that you may fail the class:
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If you do not submit the final program evaluation paper.
If you fail to complete all of the major writing assignments.
If you exceed the number of allowable absences.
Submitting the Final Program Evaluation Paper

For your final program evaluation, submit two clean, ungraded, and typed copies of your
paper in a folder with your name written clearly at the top. You should have received
some guidance earlier on an initial draft from your instructor in order to help guide your
revision. Your instructor will be scoring your revised paper now for the official purposes
of the program evaluation. Additionally, an outside reader will be examining your work
for the first time.
In addition to your two clean copies, include your paper trail for the assignment,
such as previously graded drafts, notes, and peer workshop responses. Make sure that
you paperclip these materials together. If you are including a paper that uses published
sources, include photocopies of the specific pages that you have cited. If you do not follow these steps, your instructor will not be able to enter your paper into the program
evaluation process.
Final Program Evaluation Paper Checklist
Have you placed two clean, ungraded, and typed copies of your paper in a folder with
your name written at the top?
Is your paper accompanied by all notes, drafts, and reader responses to the paper?
If your paper uses outside sources, have you included photocopies of the pages you
cited?
Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes1

Kansas State University strives to create an atmosphere of intellectual curiosity and
growth, one in which academic freedom, breadth of thought and action, and individual
empowerment are valued and flourish. We endeavor to prepare citizens who will continue to learn and will contribute to the societies in which they live and work.
Students share in the responsibility for a successful university educational experience.
Upon completion of their degree and regardless of disciplinary major, undergraduates
are expected to demonstrate ability in at least five essential areas.
Knowledge
Students will demonstrate a depth of knowledge and apply the methods of inquiry in a
discipline of their choosing, and they will demonstrate a breadth of knowledge across
their choice of varied disciplines.
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Critical Thinking
Students will demonstrate the ability to access and interpret information, respond and
adapt to changing situations, make complex decisions, solve problems, and evaluate
actions.
Communication
Students will demonstrate the ability to communicate clearly and effectively.
Diversity
Students will demonstrate awareness and understanding of the skills necessary to live
and work in a diverse world.
Academic and Professional Integrity

Students will demonstrate awareness and understanding of the ethical standards of their
academic discipline and/or profession.
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From Kansas State University <http://courses.k-state.edu/catalog/undergraduate/aboutkstate/>.
Principles of Community2
Kansas State University is a land-grant, public research university, committed to teaching and learning, research, and service to the people of Kansas, the nation, and the world.
Our collective mission is best accomplished when every member of the university community acknowledges and practices the following principles:
We affirm the inherent dignity and value of every person and strive to maintain an
atmosphere of justice based on respect for each other.
We affirm the right of each person to freely express thoughts and opinions in a spirit
of civility and decency. We believe that diversity of views enriches our learning environment and we promote open expression within a climate of courtesy, sensitivity,
and mutual respect.
We affirm the value of human diversity for community. We confront and reject all
forms of prejudice and discrimination, including those based on race, ethnicity, gender, age, disability, sexual orientation, religious or political beliefs, economic status,
or any other differences that have led to misunderstandings, hostility, and injustice.
We acknowledge that we are a part of the larger Kansas community and that we have
an obligation to be engaged in a positive way with our civic partners.
We recognize our individual obligations to the university community and to the principles that sustain it. We will each strive to contribute to a positive spirit that affirms
learning and growth for all members of the community.
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From Kansas State University <http://www.k-state.edu/Welcome/community.html>.
Your Role as a Student in an Academic Community

Now that you have joined Kansas State University as a student, you are part of a larger
intellectual community: students, instructors, and professors are researching, creating,
and sharing knowledge and ideas. For instructors and professors, ideas are their livelihood. In a university environmentalso known as academiaideas are considered intellectual property. Therefore as members of this academic community, you need to be
respectful and responsible with anothers ideas and give credit where credit is due. To
help you respectfully work with outside ideas in your papers, we will be learning how to
cite sources in this course. In addition, in an intellectual community, you need to make
sure that all of the work you do for all of your classes is your own. You can review the
Kansas State University Honor Code in the Student Life Handbook.
A Word on Plagiarism
The Council of Writing Program Administrators defines plagiarism as something that

occurs when a writer deliberately uses someone elses language, ideas, or other original
(not common-knowledge) material without acknowledging its source.
Your Student Life Handbook also includes definitions of plagiarism (please see page D4)
and gives you advice for when you need to acknowledge indebtedness:

Whenever you quote another persons actual words
Whenever you use another persons idea, opinion, or theory, even it if is completely
paraphrased in your own words
Whenever you borrow facts, statistics, or other illustrative materialunless the

information is common knowledge (William W. Watt, An American Rhetoric 8)
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Talk to your instructor if you have any questions on how to cite properly. Please also
check K-States Honor & Integrity System website for more information: www.ksu.edu/
honor.
If it is proven that you have deliberately plagiarized a paper in an Expository Writing

class, the Honor Council will be notified. Consequences could be severe, including failure of the class, required enrollment in a Development and Integrity course, or, in particularly severe offenses, expulsion from the university.
I have read and understand the Expository Writing Programs policy on plagiarism.

Please sign: _____________________________________
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Your Expository Writing Class as a Writing Community

Think about some of your favorite songwriters, novelists, or newswriters. How do they
write their songs, stories, or articles? In a remote cabin, all alone?
While a solitary writer is occasionally successful, almost all real writers are collaborators. Pop singer Jewel and her sister, for example, talk through ideas before beginning a
song; they test lyrics together during the process; and then they try out their creations
on close friends. Novelists share ideas with friends, agents, and editors by phone, e-mail,
and letters; they share drafts the same way, soliciting help, advice, and even motivation.
Newswriters depend on editors and other writers when theyre doing assigned stories or
pitching ideas.
Since writing is all about reaching an audience, professional writers form writing communities that are in effect test audiences. Through this community, they develop, organize, and focus their ideas, to make their finished products as satisfying to their target
audience as possible.
A traditional difference between published writers and student writers is that students
often have no writing community to help with the hard labor of finding a topic and the
even harder labor of building that topic into something thats meaningful reading. Where
does a student find responsive listeners and readerspeople with whom theyre comfortable? At K-State, they find their community in expository writing classes.
Your English 100 instructor will provide activities to help you and your classmates
become a writing community, committed to responding to one anothers ideas and
drafts. Firstweek activities may include corner activities and spectrograms that will
help you learn about the other students in your class. Other firstweek activities may
include learning one anothers names and actually reading, round-robin style, diagnostic
introductions that reveal facets of those others who are bound with you in the same
required class. Your instructor may also share a few excerpts from diagnostic essays,
focusing on successful examples and detailsimportant components of good writing.
Its easier to trust others when you get to know them.
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As the semester continues, your writing community will work together continually. Youll
brainstorm for ideas, become familiar with the course objectives, practice effective selfworkshopping, and train to respond as peer workshoppers through sample essays. Youll
also become one anothers audience in peer workshops, with an eye to helping others in
your community improve as writers. So, one of your primary roles in your English 100
writing community is that of audiencesomeone who reads, appreciates, responds,
and critiques the work of others. You wont be expected to respond like a teacher or an
evaluator; rather, youll respond as a fellow student whos knowledgeable enough about
the assignment and its requirements to read effectively.
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Hopefully, the many activities offered to you and your classmates throughout the semester will keep you invested in your writing community. Your energy, imagination, and
intellect are crucial to the success of your entire community. Just as youll one day work
with others in your career to achieve specific goals, youll work with your classmates to
achieve the best possible class and the best possible essays.
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Keeping up with daily assignments is part of respecting your writing community; contributing to class discussions and activities requires you to be prepared for each days
lesson. A writing community should be able to trust that all of its members are invested
in common goals.
Trust is also an important element in peer workshops. Activities and instruction will help
you learn how to respond meaningfully to others drafts. Simply responding as a reader
is a proven method for improving your own writing: commenting on others work, even
more than the advice you receive from classmates, helps you to look at your own draft
with new eyes. In a writing community, investing in the workshop process leads to
more effective rethinking, or re-envisioning, of the components of every writers essay.
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Your instructor is also a part of your writing community. Besides coaching you during
invention and drafting stages of each paper, your instructor will also evaluate your finished product: the polished essay. Sometimes, your grade and your teachers praise and
advice will inspire you to do another revisiontoward a clearer focus, better organization, more developed examples and explanations, and/or a more appropriate tone.
Dont be wary of asking your instructor for one-on-one help if you need it. And dont be
shy about consulting tutors in the Writing Center (part of your wider, built-in writing
community). Everyone in the Expository Writing Program at K-State wants you to be
successful at communicating your ideas fully and clearly.
Writing and Revising Reflectively

Most experienced writers will agree that the writing process is not simply a set of rigid
sequential steps; instead, it is a recursive process. That is, you will be engaging in invention, even when you are doing a final edit. Or, you are likely to be drafting even before
you have decided what organizational structure to adopt.
Writers processes vary widely based on individual learning styles and on the particular
writing task. Sometimes, you think you know what you want to say (perhaps in response
to a newspaper opinion column), but you need to spend quite a bit of time in the invention stage discovering just what that is. Sometimes, you will have been assigned a writing
task (by a teacher or an employer), but you dont feel much interest in the topic. Youll
need to spend more time researching to learn more about the subject in order to develop
your ideas. And rarely, you may simply start writing with a clear sense of your topic, sure
of just what supporting examples you will choose and what organizational strategy you
will employ.
To give you a sense of how varied individual writers processes can be, we are including
two narratives from different writers describing their writing processes. As you read,
think about both the similarities and differences in these writers processes. Also consider what writing strategies youve used that might be similar to those employed by
these writers.
Deborah Murray
I saw Sid Dobrins Call for Proposals for a collection of essays, Dont Call It That: The Composition Practicum,
in February 2003. I knew that I had something to say about this subject, so I wrote Sid an email describing
my interest. So far, even though I hadnt written any of the essay which would eventually be published, I was
engaged in planning and draftingmentally, on paper, and in conversation with friends and colleagues. In
addition, I was thinking about what kind of research this project might need to include.
Unlike some writing tasks where it is not clear who the target audience might be, Sids book has a clear
audience, members of the National Council of Teachers of English (NCTE), especially those teachers engaged
with mentoring and supervising teachers of required writing classes at colleges and universities. I would need
to keep this audiences needs in mind. Would these readers accept my preferred style, which includes a more
personal tone such as that found in a memoir? I asked Sid for his advice, and he told me to follow through the
way you see best for what you are doing.
The next stage of my process included invention and research. I am a multimodal learnerprimarily read/
write and aural. To brainstorm, I scheduled a formal interview with two of my colleagues, Robin Mosher and
Irene Ward. I took notes. I also did some research, collecting at least fifteen articles about teacher training. I
read all these articles, finding support for my ideas in some and further areas for research in others. During the
invention stage, I also drew some rough sketches (mostly cartoons) to help me clarify my ideas.
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With my deadline pressing, it was time to start drafting in earnest. I spent an hour or so at the computer
writing what I call a crash-through draft. These drafts arent pretty, and theyre not ready for readers, but
theyre a necessary part of my writing process. I am a random thinker, so the idea that I might write an outline
before drafting is truly absurd. After writing a crash-through draft, I try to get distance for a day or two
before beginning to revisewriting, crossing out, inventing, organizing, editing. To develop these next drafts,
I looked at my notes, reread some sources, and retrieved some things I had written in emails. I wrote two more
drafts before I felt confident to ask for feedback from my friend and colleague, Robin Mosher.
Though we may not call it workshopping, most experienced writers depend on readers to help us revise our
work. I am fortunate to have Robin to help me figure out how to make my meaning clear. On the other hand,
she and I have similar ideas about the importance of teacher training, so it may be hard for her to put herself
in the mindset of those who might feel differently.
After developing my essay in response to some of Robins questions, I started focusing on organizationat the
essay and the paragraph level. At this point, I knew that the draft needed some major restructuring. Though
I am a random thinker, I sensed that my essay needed a roadmap and a more explicit statement of my points.
To get a more objective sense of my essay, I wrote says and does statements for each paragraph. I typed
these statements and cut them out, arranging them all over my dining room table. This exercise affirmed my
sense that I needed some better topic sentences when I realized that I had to draft says statements for certain
integral paragraphs. After composing a new introduction and several new paragraphs (back to invention
and drafting), I re-engineered my whole paper. After making several organizational changes and composing
several new paragraphs, I printed a draft that I was fairly satisfied with.
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After deleting about 65 words to come in under the NCTE word limit of 5000, I emailed the essaynow
called Why Not Call It Practicum? It Is Practice, to Sid Dobrin. In late November 2004, I received a contract
from NCTE. The project was underway, but it wasnt until August 2005 when I received some revision suggestions from the editors. In response to one suggestion, I revised my conclusion, making it much more forceful. I received my copy of the book in November 2005not quite three years after I responded to the original
call for papers.
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Dave Smit
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I am currently writing a non-fiction book about the life and career of the actress Ingrid
Bergman. I have been working on the project for about five years now, and I have an odd
assortment of writing already done: an introduction to the book, two scholarly articles arguing
a new interpretation of certain aspects of Bergmans life, a chapter on the history of one of
her most severe critics, a great deal of analysis of Bergmans acting and her contribution to
two films, and five or six other chapters in various states of completion, ranging from rough
notesjust raw data typed upto summaries of interviews with Bergman, summaries of
articles about her, and some analysis of problems in interpreting her life. My problem is that
right now all of this is an incoherent mess.
What to do? I have a number of strategies for dealing with situations like this, strategies that
I always use when I dont really know what I am doing. First of all, I just keep going. Even
when I dont know what to do, I still need raw material, so on days when all inspiration fails, I
simply turn to my notes and sources and enter facts and figures, quotations, and summaries
of material in the appropriate chapter file. The theory here is that the more I have to work
with, the easier it will be to eventually make something out of it.
I will also continue to toy with various themes and patterns of organization. I have a tentative
Table of Contents, but I know I will not be able to follow it exactly. Often ideas will come to
me and I will jot them down and throw them in a file. I recently wrote a note that says The
Double Life and put it in the file labeled Overview. It is a reminder of a way to reorganize
the first part of the book.
Most seriously, despite all of the work I have done so far, I dont have a style or tone for the
book. I am writing this book for a popular audience, not the scholarly community. As a
result, the introduction is written in an impersonal third-person journalistic style that moves
right along, but I wonder if I can sustain that tone for 300 pages. The scholarly articles are
too technical and argumentative, so I will have to rewrite them. To deal with this problem, I
will probably rewrite the introduction using a more folksy first-person style to see if I think it
works better. And I will read other writers of popular work about film to see if there is a style
I can imitate. If I do find a style to try, I will read the piece for a few pages to get that voice
echoing in my head, and then I will try to write in that voice myself. It has worked for me in
the past; it might work again.
None of my strategies work all of the time. On some days, when I sweat blood groping for
words and nothing comes, I think I should have become a clerk at Sears rather than a teacher
and writer. But most of the time, even the bad days feel good. There is something about
wrestling with ideas and words that is intrinsically satisfying, even if I spend four hours to
produce five hundred words of barely acceptable prose.
Activity
1. How do these writers processes compare to the writing processes youve used for
classroom assignments?
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2. For a writing task you completed on your own (outside of school), describe your
process. Is it more similar to or different from that youve used for classroom
assignments?
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3. After you review the next several pages, come back to these writers descriptions of
their writing processes. What types of actions and processes seem most important
to each writer?
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Actions Writers Engage In While Working

on a Writing Project
Though the writing process is recursive rather than sequential, it is useful to list these
stages and offer some explanation of each one. As reinforcement of just how non-sequential and overlapping these stages are, we are listing them in alphabetical order, first as a
series of actions, then using more traditional textbook terminology.
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Drawing
Listening
Reading
Researching
Talking
Thinking
Writing
Drawing
If you are a visual learner, you are probably already familiar with this activity, though you
may think of it only as doodling. You may not realize, however, that many experienced
writers use drawingsimply sketching rough cartoonsto help them bring their ideas to
life. Sometimes this activity is called something formal like storyboarding. Also, certain
types of invention such as clustering or idea mapping implement strategies that work
well for visual learners. For examples of clustering, see the Informative Report Unit; for
examples of storyboarding, see the Personal Ethnography Unit.
Cluster
Storyboard
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Hayden-McNeil, LLC
Listening
If you learn by listening, it will be important for you to work with partners and in groups
to listen to others discuss ideas. Not only helpful at the invention stage, listening to
another reader describe your essay can help you understand what aspects need revision.
Also, listening to others describe their writing problems may give you ideas for solving
your own.
Reading
This activity is sometimes taken for granted, but be aware that you will be reading throughout the writing process: early on in your process you might read to learn an assignments
goals, to review background information, or while researching a topic online. Later, you
might read other students work, both in workshop and to gain a broader understanding of an assignments goals. When you have written a draft, you read your own writing;
when your teacher assesses your draft, you will read his or her comments in order to
revise successfully.
Researching
This activity overlaps with others, such as reading and thinking, but it includes other
activities as well. You need to be somewhat adept at note-taking, sorting, and categorizing in order to research successfullyeither online or in a library. Also, some primary
research takes place by phone or email, requiring you to know etiquette for these tasks.
Also, you need to be adept at assessing the credibility and relevancy of the various materials you will come across while researching.
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Talking
In his work Thought and Language, 1986, Russian developmental psychologist Lev
Vygotsky (18961934) explains the importance of talk to writing. In our heads, we know
what we want to say (or write); in fact, when we are talking silently to ourselves, we are
brilliant and articulate. Vygotsky calls this stage inner speech. Many of us find, however,
that when we sit at the computer to try to transcribe this inner speech, it doesnt sound
right. Vygotsky says that in order to produce written speech that is intelligible to others,
it is first necessary to move from inner speech to external speech. External speech
can take place during workshop or group activities when you try to explain your ideas
verbally to another personso that it makes sense to that person (or group). Once you
say your ideas out loud, it will then be easier to compose written speecha piece of
writing that makes sense to othersnot just yourself. Asking questions of readers can be
an invaluable invention and revision technique for many writers. Those of you who learn
by talking (and/or by listening) should always make plentiful use of this activity.
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Thinking
Of course, thinking takes place while reading, drawing, and writing, but it is also productive to think about this activity separately. Many writers find that they need a get-distance stepa time to sort through ideas when they are not writing. Some people find
that engaging in other activities, such as running, listening to music, or cooking, allows
them the mental space to think about ideas. Those who are hands-on learners often find
that they can think only while moving around. In some cases, writers come up with topic
ideas; some writers actually mentally draft an introduction or conclusion. Of course, it can
be productive to just ponder without consciously thinking about the project and its goals.
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Writing
There is no magic about writing; indeed, you have to just do it. Sit down and write.
Some writers think they can only compose at the keyboard, but others find that at some
stage they write best with a pen or pencil. If you get stuck during one kind of writing, try
another. Or, circle back to another activity such as drawing or reading.
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Common Names for Stages of the Writing Process

Assessment
Drafting
Editing
Invention
Revision
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Assessment
Successful writers depend on their readers to help them be more objective about their
essays. Also, while reading someone elses essay, you might discover strategies for improving your own work. More and more, the ability to work as part of a team is crucial in
most careers as well as community service. Most significantly, you will not always have a
teacher to guide your writing. Strategies learned through group interaction will help you
become a better critic of your own work, as well as of the work of others.
Throughout this course, we will be focusing on self-assessment, so that you gain a more
objective sense of your own strengths and weaknesses. You will also be reading your
classmates essays in small-group workshop, another kind of assessment. And, of course,
your teacher will be assessing your work, providing suggestions for further revision.
For further discussion of workshopping, see the section under Building a Writing
Community.
Drafting
The word drafts suggests that revision never ends. Nothing is ever perfect, but with
real-world deadlines, you ultimately have to turn in a good-enough draft. You might
have several drafts, from crash-through preliminary drafts to ready-for-grade final
drafts. Even if you compose at the computer, try to make regular print-outs of your drafts
so that you can assess your progress (and in case of computer failure!). You will need to
save all your printed drafts for each assignment, including workshop drafts and drafts
graded by your teacher.
Editing
Though far from the most important stage, editing is a significant part of the writing
processespecially if your document contains factual material that just has to be correct (such as a design for a bridge). Though all the stages of writing are overlapping and
recursive, if possible, try to postpone this stage until you have most of your drafting
done. Sometimes, an overemphasis on making sure something looks good and avoiding
making any grammatical mistakes can lead to writers blocka condition in which you
are unable to engage in any productive aspect of the writing process.
When you do get to the editing stage, it is crucial to print your essay. Research shows
that most writers find it more difficult to find their errors when reading a document on
screen. Experienced writers employ a variety of strategies to edit their writing, ranging from reading their essays aloud to reviewing text a line at a time. If you know you
have difficulty with editing, it is a good idea to schedule an appointment in the Writing
Center. Experienced tutors can help you learn editing strategies, especially if you know
you usually make a certain kind of mistake. Also, if you dont understand a comment
your teacher has made (such as avoid comma splices), make sure you ask your teacher
for clarification.
Invention
Invention can include drawing, listing, freewriting, clustering, looping, and cubing. In
part because invention is multidimensional and ongoing, writers have many names for
this part of the writing process; these names include brainstorming, planning, and
prewriting. In Teach Writing as a Process Not Product, Donald Murray talks about
prewriting:

Prewriting is everything that takes place before the first draft. Prewriting usually
takes about 85% of the writers time. It includes the awareness of his world from
which his subject is born. In prewriting, the writer focuses on that subject, spots an
audience, chooses a form which may carry his subject to his audience. Prewriting
may include research and daydreaming, note-making and outlining, title-writing and
lead-writing. (The Leaflet, Nov. 1972)
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Though Murray says that prewriting occurs before the first draft, it is important to
remember that invention is ongoing: it can occur at any stage of the writing process.
Revision
As described earlier, individual revision processes vary widely. Revision is ongoing and
recursive, sometimes writer-directed and sometimes in response to peer and teacher
comments. Because revision is such an integral part of the writing process, one which few
novice writers fully understand, we are devoting several pages to answering frequently
asked questions about revision. Also, we are introducing some strategies for workshopping and revising effectively.
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Revision and Workshopping

Because revision is such an integral part of the writing process and this course, weve
included some additional information on how to revise successfully in this section. You
will find a list of questions (and answers) that many students have about revising their
English 100 papers, and some guidelines for conducting successful workshops. In the
Handbook, you will find forms for completing a revision plan and making writers notes,
and a guide for developing paragraphs.
Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers) About Revision
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Q: Why do we have to workshop one anothers papers?

Reading other students papers helps you to become a better close reader of your
own papers.

Analyzing other students papers helps you become a better reader of all textswith
the bonus of further clarifying expository writing assignment guidelines through
seeing what others have done. In that way, its like on-the-job training!
Guided workshopswhere you must answer specific questionshelp you learn specific strategies for looking objectively at a paper, which saves you revising time (and
should make your revisions more substantive).
Of course, one of the main purposes for workshopping is to invent an audience

for your writing which is invested in helping you write better papers. You dont get
comments from your partners just for fun. You get comments to help you build a
better productbecause it is the overall product, not the effort, thats judged when
your paper is graded. Therefore, its crucial that you learn to use readers comments
as you revise.
Q: Why do I have to revise?

You dont have to revise. You have a choice about whether or not to take your teachers advice. Of course, if you choose not to revise a PEP paper that has received an R
(i.e., Revise) or NP (i.e., No Pass), it may not pass.
Q: I know my paper didnt have any mistakes, so why do I have to revise?
Maybe the surface of your essay was clean, but perhaps its underlying content or
structure was flawed. In A Community of Writers, 1989, Peter Elbow and Pat Belanoff
use these phrases to talk about the different levels of revision: Changing the Skin,
Changing the Muscles, and Changing the Bones. As the analogy suggests, all levels
are important, but bones (an essays overall content) are the most significant. The
muscles, an essays connective tissue, are also integralthis area includes development, organization, and explanation of how the muscles support the bones. Skin
is not the most important part of an essay, but the surface appearance of your essay is
its faceso it might need to be polished (or even refined surgically!). Its important to
understand these different aspects of revision; otherwise, if you only revise the skin
in response to an instructors comments about bones and muscles, your revision
will not be successful.
Q: I answered my teachers question from the margins, but she said I had not
addressed the question substantially enough. What do I need to do?
Teachers ask questions in order to stimulate thought about issues raised by that section of an essay. Usually, these marginal questions should be seen as an indication
that this section of the paper has provoked thought; in fact, this area of the essay
probably needs further exploration or explanation, in order to beef up the muscles
of your essay. Use your teachers questions in the margins as a beginning point for a
focused freewriting.
Q: I developed my paragraphs in answer to some of my teachers questions, but then
some of the rest of my essay didnt seem to fit anymore. What do I need to do?
To integrate these ideas successfully, you will probably need to omit other sentences
or paragraphs that dont fit anymore. Also, you may have to rearrange certain sections of your essay to accommodate these new ideas.
Q: Why does the teacher write questions and comments in the margins of my
papers? And why arent comments written about every paragraph?
In the margins of your papers, teachers often make a few comments as examples.
Some of these comments will praise what you do right; others will offer revision
advice. Teachers do not comment on every little improvement you could/should
make. This is your paper; therefore, you must make the final decisions on what
changes youll make. Youre practicing for the futurewhen youll write without
guidance from a teacher.
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Q: How can I interpret the teachers note to me at the end of my paper (either on
the last page or on the rubric)? How does this comment relate to the marginal
comments?
The teachers comments written at the end of the essay should be read as suggestions
for rethinking the whole essay before you revise. For example, if your teacher tells you
that your essays focus is unclear, formulating a thesis is just a start. Youll also need to
reread each paragraph to make sure that it is relevant to your stated focus. Or, if your
teacher tells you that you need more evidence in support of one of your claims, youll
probably need to look back at your notes or even do some more research, in order to
collect evidence which you can add throughout the essay.

These comments at the end of the paper generally address your papers major
strengths and weakness(es), focusing on one or more of the five most important
aspects of good writing: 1) focus and purpose, 2) development, 3) organization, 4)
tone and style, and 5) editing and proofreading. These five areas should become very
familiar to you as you continue to revise your writing.
Generally, you can think about teachers marginal comments as evidence for their
terminal comment. Think of the comment at the end of your essay as the exposition; think of the marginal comments as examples.
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Q: Why doesnt the teacher mark every mistake I make? Teachers know more than
I do, so why dont they fix everything for me?
Though most teachers wont mark every single editing error, you should pay attention to those they do mark. If a teacher has fixed something for you, you should
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probably make these changes in your revision (once you understand the nature of
the mistake).

Q: What should I do if a teachers comment confuses me?

First try to figure it out. This will no doubt require that you reread your paper (a good
thing!).

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If the teacher makes note of a pattern of error, that doesnt mean that she or he has
marked all your errors. For example, rather than simply marking all your errors, a
teacher might mark one or two representative errors as an indication that you need
to learn how to recognize and avoid this kind of error. For example, one common
error is a comma splice (a kind of run-on sentence). So that you can learn to recognize comma splices (or other common errors), you should schedule an appointment
in the Writing Center to ask a tutor for guidance.
If you are still confused after rereading and rethinking, formulate a specific question,
write it down, and ask your teacher (during office hours or via email).
Q: What do I need to consider when deciding what to change in revision?

What is written on the response sheet or rubric.

What is marked as examples of strengths and weaknesses in the margins of your

papers.
What you think, once you reread your entire paper very carefully, with your teachers
overall comments from the rubric, the assignment requirements, and the course
objectives all clearly in mind.
Q: What do I need to do to make sure Im following my teachers revision policy?

Reread the course policy statement about the kinds of changes necessary to earn
a higher grade. Reread, too, about highlighting correctly. Highlighting is a requirement of all revisions. Teachers need your highlighted revision, along with all previous
notes and drafts, in order to grade your revision.
Q: Why do we have to write a revision plan? We usually just start writing!
The academic writing tasks you do in college require a great deal of thought and
planning. To write more complex papers, you need strategies that streamline and
focus your efforts. A revision planespecially one in which you consider exactly
what you need to do with organization, development and/or focusis a good way of
thinking consciously, to go along with the less conscious sort of revising you do when
you just start writing.
Q: Why do we have to highlight our changes?
Seeing is believing. Substantive changes will jump out from the white pages when
highlighted. Youll begin to see what real revision looks like. Changes that are not
substantive, that are in fact, mere editing corrections, will also be evident to you.
Guidelines for Successful Workshopping

Writing workshops comprise an integral part of the classroom writing community. Outside of schooleither at work, at home, or in clubs and organizationswriters need
readers. We cant know if our writing is reaching an audience until we actually consult
with that audience (or readers role-playing our target audience). The best thing about a
classroom writing community is that youll be able to use the workshop experience for
revision before you hand in your paper instead of doing all your revisions after receiving
your teachers commentswhen youre working on the next assignment.
You will rarely find the perfect reader, one who will give you a magic solution to all your
writing problems; on the other hand, the process of inquiryof reading and responding
to one anothers draftscan lead you to find solutions to your own writing problems.
Many writers find answers to their writing questions while reading anothers draft to
learn how someone else has coped with a similar writing task.
And yet, with all these demonstrated benefits, some students still resist any effort aimed
at making workshops successful, perhaps because they have had negative experiences
in previous school workshop situations, perhaps because they just want to rely on the
teacher to just slap a grade on my paper or tell me what I need to do to get an A.
Were hoping that the following activities will help show you ways to make helpful comments on your classmates workwhile avoiding being a bad workshopper. To give you
a sense of the difference between helpful and non-helpful comments, were sharing with
you some of the comments from a class of students who workshopped Kyle Heatons
draft of Free Speech on Campus (found in Chapter 5).
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Activity
Read the following comments written by good workshoppers. Then, after you have read
the comments, answer these questions:
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How would you describe the type of advice given by these readers? What do these
comments have in common?
If you were Kyle, what would you do in response to the advice given you in response
to Question 1?
Considering all the advice given, how will Kyle start revising successfully?
Comments from Good Workshoppers

1. What is the writers main claim? If you cant find the claim, try to identify what it will
be and write it down.

From reading your introduction, which gives your paper an interesting tone and makes me
want to continue reading, I cant place exactly what your claim is. I think it lacks focus.
Your main claim is in the form of a question but it is that students do not know what free
speech is. Mixed in with this are separate issues such as whether limitless speech is
beneficial to the student body. You also claim that this paper is to aid Dean Bosco as well
as telling him what you want him to do, improve the bonds between students of all different beliefs. You need to pick one. Right now it is confusing as to what you are going
to be talking about in the rest of the paper. There are good ideas here. They just need to
be focused and developed better.
I dont think there is a main thesis, yet. It could be something along the lines of: Free
speech is a tough issue on college campuses but few know its definition, importance, and
accompanying limitations which are all things I wish to address
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2. Is it clear how the writers sources offer relevant information to the audience?

You make it clear that free speech has always been a topic of interest on campus, but
you bounce around a lot. Are you talking about censorship? Are you talking about hate
speech? And what is hate speech? Can you give examples if this is indeed what you want
to address here?
While these sources are interesting, I dont understand the connection between censorship,
free speech, hate speech, and what these subjects have to do with the student union plaza.
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3. How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of
the report?

I feel that you lack topic sentences, which would highlight your points to the Dean. Within
your paragraphs, maybe take more time to explain a quote after using one: Why did you
pick this line? How does it further your point?
I think that maybe your sources werent the best ones to use, so its hard to explain how
they connect to your main point. You should at least try to explain how they relate (or find
some new sources).
Activity
Read the following comments written by bad workshoppers. Then, after you have read
the comments, answer these questions:

How would you describe the type of advice given by these readers? What do these
comments have in common?
If you were Kyle, what would you do in response to the advice given you in response
to Question 1?
Considering all the advice given, how will Kyle start revising successfully?
Comments from Bad Workshoppers

1. What is the writers main claim? If you cant find the claim, try to identify what it will
be and write it down.

Last sentence, duh!
What were you thinking in picking such a broad topic? I have no idea what you are trying
to say!
I dont really know what you are talking about. Maybe you should do a paper on
abortion.
Great job!
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2. Is it clear how the writers sources offer relevant information to the audience?

No, its not clear at all. Throw it away and start over again.
If you throw in some figurative language, the teacher will like it.
3. How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of
the report?

You need to make it flow better.
You never connect your sources with your point.
Each paragraph is self-explanatory, crystal clear.
MLA would be proud!
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How To Get the Most Out of Workshopping

Use the following list to help you prepare for workshop and to interact with your writing
community during the workshop process.

When each unit begins, make note of the scheduled workshop day(s). Note these
dates in your planner (updating as necessary).
During the two or three class days before workshop, make sure you ask questions if
you are unsure about how to complete your draft.
If youre unsure about how to prepare a workshop-ready draft, schedule a conference

with your teacher or with a tutor in the Writing Center.
Come to class with a complete draftas complete and easy to read as possible.
If your teacher requires you to bring multiple copies of your draft, do so.
When printing out your workshop draft, take a moment to write down questions you
want to ask readers about your draft.
Arrive to class early in order to meet your group members and get started.
Speak to your reader(s) about anything you want them to pay special attention to
while reading your draft.
As you read your partners draft, make a note of questions you have (even if these
questions arent covered by the workshop guide).
As you read your partners draft, make a note of ideas you get about how you might
want to revise your paper.
Keep track of timemake sure you leave enough time to share both written and
verbal responses with your reader(s).
Exchange e-mail addresses in case you have any follow-up questions.
Shortly after workshop, review your comments from readers. Jot down a list of things
you want to do while revising your draft.
Write a revision plan.
Keep in mind that your teacher will be reviewing your readers workshop comments.
Make sure that you havent overlooked helpful revision advice.
Revise accordingly, once you decide which changes you need to make.
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Writing a Revision Plan

A revision plan is often simply a list to help writers remember what they need to do to
revise successfully. Most writers will need at least two revision plans, one following the
peer workshop, and another in response to a teachers comments. After he read the comments from good workshoppers, Kyle realized what he needed to do in revision. Heres
his plan:
Revision Plan
Go back to my cluster to figure out what my main focus should be.
Figure out whether my introduction matches the rest of my paper.
If Im still not sure what my focus is, schedule an appointment with my teacher or with a
tutor in the Writing Center.
Several readers thought Pat Bosco wasnt the best audience for this essay, so I better
brainstorm (with my teacher or a tutor) about just who the best audience is for my paper.
Talk to John (one of Kyles readers) to get a copy of his source on hate speech. Review
that source to see whether it relates to my focus or not.
Figure out how to link all my sources to my focus.
If I cant explain how a source links to my focus, maybe I should leave it out.
Doublecheck the rules for MLA citations.
Include more attribution for sources.
Use spellcheck.
Consider paragraphingshould they be shorter?
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Jack wrote the following after the peer workshop of his Informative Report Memo:
Revision Plan
My partners thought all my facts were good but all of them basically said they couldnt figure
out why a guy was so into sexual harassment/assault. I plan to add why I am. They also want
to know what I want the SGA to do about the problem, so Ill have to add that.
Jack wrote the following after receiving his teachers response to his Informative Report
Memo:
Revision Plan
After workshop, I added that I can never relax at parties because Im always looking out for
female friends, but it must not sound convincing. I got, Why am I interested in sexual harassment? I talked to my teacher and she asked, did I have sisters? and Is two younger sisters
maybe why Im so aware? And then Im thinking how I didnt say how much the talk I hear
from guys since I got to college gets to me because my sisters will go to college soon. And Ive
got close friends that are maybe too trusting around guys because this is a lot bigger place
than theyre used to. So, I know where to go now. I need examples and details.
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I showed my plan to my teacher and she said its a great start, BUT I need to make my purpose
clear to my audience. Why am I writing to the SGA? I guess I didnt really say. I want them to
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show some support for WAR or MAR and I want them to educate everybody some more. Like
I can put in that WAR went to bars in Aggieville to check on how safe the bathrooms were in
the bars, but MAR is dead on campus. Maybe more putting up posters, writing on sidewalks,
speaking on campus to let people know the kind of statistics women are up against. There are
more women than men on campus so SGA should prioritize. Its a hard job to watch out for my
sisters, my mom, my cousins, and my friends that are girls, but its hard for girls too, having to
be watched out for all the time (and nagged) and not being able to go some places.
Another way to organize your workload is to map out your writing and revising plans on
a calendar. Here is how Kyles plan might look:
Monday
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2:00 pm
Go to library
3:30 pm Class
Practice citing
sources
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
9:30 am
Finish drafting
to prepare for
workshop
3:30 pm Class
Peer Workshop
Day
9:30 am
Appointment
with teacher
4:30 pm
Schedule an
appointment
1) with my
teacher to
work on
Focus!
2) in the
Writing
Center
Get the sources

on Hate
2:00 pm
Speech from
Work on
John
linking all of
my source
material to my
3:00 pm
main point
Work on
(new focus),
focusing my
also double
introduction
and developing check MLA
and organizing rules
my paragraphs
3:30 pm Class
2nd Peer
Workshop
*P
RINT 2
COPIES,
PLUS
SOURCES!!!
Brainstorm for
audience
Go back to
cluster to find
focus
Friday
Saturday
11:30 am
Walk-in
appointment in
Writing Center
am
Work more on
explaining how
my sources
relate to my
main ideas.
Use spellcheck
and proofread
my paper
Print final copy
and get my
folder ready
to turn in on
Monday
pm
Go to the game!
CHAPTER 2
Introductory Assignments
An Introduction: Assignment Guidelines

This English 100 course begins with an exploration of the communities and identities
present in your class. To introduce yourself to your classmates, you will be writing a
short paper that answers the question:
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What do others need to know in order to understand what its like to be me?
Before you start writing this paper, or any paper for that matter, it is important to get to
know the audience to which you will be writing. The following section includes activities
youll complete with your classmates to start building a writing community and finding
out what the members of that community are like.
The main theme of this course is the relationship between communities and identities.
We each have our own identity, but how do we act and react to others in our community?
Why do we agree or disagree with others values and beliefs? How do our identities intersect with or differ from others in our community?
To help you find a starting place for your inquiry into these and other questions this
semester, you will write a short essay in which you discuss your self-identity and the factors that influence what it means to be an individual. This first essay provides a chance
for you to write about your uniqueness and helps you get to know the other members of
your writing community.
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Though this paper will not be graded, you will share it with your classmates and turn it
in to your instructor for informal evaluation. Its a kind of diagnostic essay. In addition
to introducing you as an individual, as the assignment requires, it also will introduce you
as a writer to your instructor. Your instructor will use your essay to help her/him understand your strengths and weaknesses as a writer.
To complete this assignment, follow the guidelines below.

Answer the question:
What do others need to know in order to understand what its like to be me?
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CHAPTER 2 Introductory Assignments
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Consider some of the following influences as you plan your paper:

Age
Race
Politics
Family
Religion
Marital status
Friends
Ethnic heritage
Hobbies/Interests/Activities
School
Occupation interests
Hometown/Place of upbringing
Gender
Socio-economic status
Popular culture (TV, music, movies)
Be explicit about what has influenced you and how it has influenced you.
Consider writing about more than one factor that has influenced you.
Use specific details and examples to explain your points.
Type your paper and use 12-point font.
j Invention: Audience Analysis

Welcome to Active Learning! To help you visualize your audience for this first assignment, you will be moving to different corners of the room and/or moving along a line
representing a continuum of responses. Understanding your classmates background is
vital to your success this semester. You, your classmates, and your instructor collectively
form a writing community. As a bonus, in addition to getting to know your audience, you
might also come up with some ideas for the writing assignment.
Stand-in-a-Corner
Directions: In response to the next series of prompts, you will be asked to move to a different corner of the room. Your instructor will label these corners 1, 2, 3, or 4.
Region
1. I was born and raised in Kansas.

2. I grew up mostly in Kansasborn elsewhere.
3. I came to Kansas within the last three years.
4. Other.
Age
1. I am under 25 years old.

2. I am over 25 years old.
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Schedule
1. I am a full-time student (12 hours or more).

2. I am a less than full-time student.
Hobbies/Activities
1. My hobbies/activities are many and varied; I dont prefer indoor over outdoor or vice
versa.
2. My hobbies/activities tend to be physicaloutdoor activities or sports.
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3. My hobbies/activities tend to be mentalindoor activities like reading, videogames,

movies, etc.
4. My work, school, and life schedules dont leave much time for hobbies and
activities.
Voting
1. I registered to vote as an independent.

2. I registered to vote as a member of a particular political party.
3. I have not yet registered to vote.
Hometown Population
1. I grew up mostly in a rural community of under 500.

2. I grew up mostly in a community or town of 500 to 10,000.
3. I grew up mostly in a town or city of 10,000 to 50,000.
4. I grew up mostly in a city of 50,000 or more.

Spectrogram
The Action Spectrogram is a technique developed by Jacob Moreno, who created sociometry, sociodrama, and psychodrama. The spectrogram is an effective method of measuring how individuals in a group feel about a topic in degrees of emotional intensity,
interest, or investment. Its also a good technique to break the ice.
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Directions:

Imagine a line on the floor from one end of the room to the other. 0 is in one corner;
100 is in the other corner; 50 is in the middle.
0
100
Least Most
Con Pro
No Yes
Negative Positive

When a criterion is given or a question is posed, move to the place on the line which
best expresses your position on this issue.
How spicy do you like your food to be?

0 is I dont even like black pepper; 100 is Its not spicy enough until Im sweating.
When is your birthday?
0 is January 1; 100 is December 31. Youll have to consult with other group members to determine where to position yourself appropriately.
How would you characterize yourself as a student?
0 is Ive always been an honors student; 100 is My grades are not at all good.
How would you characterize your school work habits?
0 is Ive never worked very hard in school; 100 is Ive worked very hard during
school.
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Professional E-mail: Assignment Guidelines

Chances are good that you use e-mail on a regular basis95 percent of college students
report using e-mail for social communication at least once a week. Only 5 percent of those
same students have experience using e-mail to communicate in the workplace. As a result,
many entry-level employees do not begin their careers with a rhetorical understanding of
e-mail communication at a professional level (Dobrin, Keller, and Weisser 324). The next
few pages will teach you specific rhetorical strategies for effective e-mail communication.
You will practice these strategies by e-mailing your instructor, which means you will need
to follow etiquette for professional e-mails. Once you learn these strategies, you should
make this e-mail etiquette common practice for all non-social e-mails.
1. Compose an e-mail that will be sent to your instructor.
2. Tell your instructor at least three significant things that he or she should know about
you as a student.
3. Use the following reader-centered e-mail etiquette guidelines:

Use a concise, informative subject.
Begin with a salutation.
Keep e-mail messages brief.
Provide adequate background information.
Make your e-mail messages easy to read for on-screen reading.
Close with your e-mail signature.
Be courteous.
Remember that e-mail is not private and can be easily forwarded.
Avoid flaming.
Do not take delayed replies personally.
Reread to revise.
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j Reader-Centered E-mail Etiquette

E-mail Format
Use a concise informative subject. Due to the high volume of e-mails received by workplace professionals such as your instructor, you need to include a subject line that accurately informs the reader of the main topic of the e-mail. An accurate subject line helps
the reader manage the e-mails received, important when readers receive 50100 messages per day.
Limit yourself to one subject per e-mail. In order for your e-mail reader to focus on the
subject at hand, each e-mail should only have one subject. If you have another subject to
address, create a second e-mail. For homework you are only required to send one e-mail
with one subject when e-mailing your instructor for this assignment.
DO
DO NOT
To:
janeinstructor@ksu.edu
To:
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
Subject:
Introducing Joe Student
Subject:
To:
To:
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
From:
joestudent@ksu.edu
Subject:
Absent this Friday
Subject:
this is joe and missing class
Begin with a salutation. Because many people receive e-mails that are not specifically
addressed to them, such as forwarded and carbon-copied e-mails, e-mail readers need
to be explicitly addressed. Addressing your reader using a salutation also indicates who
should reply to the e-mail.
DO
DO NOT
Use Salutation and Punctuation
Use No Salutation and Punctuation

Use a Very Informal Salutation or Misspell
Dear Ms. Instructor:
Yo Ms. Instructor
Hi, Ms. Instructor:
How are you Ms. Instructor?
Dear Jane: (if instructor goes by first name)
Dear Jnae,
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Keep e-mail messages brief and thorough. Use a simple, three part structure. 1) Succinctly state your topic, 2) quickly summarize the reason for the e-mail, and 3) make your
main point and offer supporting information. Do not assume that the reader knows the
reason for your e-mail; state the reason for the e-mail in the first line of your message.
While you need to provide adequate background information, exclude any information
that is not directly related to your topic. When you quote from a previous e-mail message, include relevant lines of the previous e-mail conversation.
DO
DO NOT

I am contacting you regarding the e-mail etiquette
assignment for our Expos. 1 class (9:30 T/R). I do not
understand what I am supposed to write in the e-mail
message. Would you please e-mail me a reminder of the
e-mail topic?
Did we do anything important today?

Whats the homework?
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Make your e-mail messages easy to read for on-screen reading. Using all lowercase letters
decreases readability, so use lower- and uppercase letters. Writing short paragraphs also
helps readability, so, rather than indenting, put blank lines between paragraphs (Anderson 53237).
Close with a professional e-mail signature. Do not assume the reader knows who is sending the e-mail. Closing with your name indicates that your e-mail is complete, clarifies
that you are the sender, and identifies for the reader the correct name to use when replying. Also, a formal tone is appropriate, especially for contacting someone for the first
33
time. If the reader has never met you before, an informal tone could be misinterpreted.
When your reader is more familiar with you, you may use a less formal signature.
DO
I am contacting you regarding the e-mail etiquette assignment for our Expos. 1 class (9:30 T/R).
I do not understand what I am supposed to write in the e-mail message. Would you please e-mail
me a reminder of the e-mail topic?
Thank you,
Joe Student
Sincerely,
Joe Student
Regards,
Joe
Thanks,
Joe
Any of the above closing signatures is professional and appropriate.
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Other Important E-mail Tips

Be courteous. When the reader reads your e-mail, it is easy to misinterpret the tone of an
e-mail. For example, a request in an e-mail to an instructor may come across as a demand
or a desperate plea if you choose to leave out words of courtesy or if you choose to leave
imperative phrases dangling.
DO
DO NOT
I have been drafting my essay. I

need to know what MLA is ASAP.
I am drafting my essay for unit 1, and I have a question.

Do I need to provide a works cited page? If so, would you
please direct me to a good MLA style guide?
Thank you,
Joe Student
Remember that e-mail is not private. Your readers may forward your messages to people
you did not intend to see them. Protect your own privacy and avoid embarrassment or
misunderstanding by considering the following:
Never include anything in your e-mail that you arent prepared for a large audience
to read.
Be careful about mixing personal and school topics in the same e-mail message.
Never write something about a person that you would not say directly to that
person.
Do not send e-mail when feeling strong emotion.
If an e-mail exchange becomes emotionally charged, talk to the person directly.
Never include confidential information (Anderson 537).
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If you have personal information that you need to disclose, ask to meet with your instructor in person. For example, if you have special circumstances that will affect your performance in a class, you do not need to disclose very specific details in an e-mail. Again,
your e-mail message should only include what you are willing to share publicly. Otherwise, ask to meet your instructor in person.
DO
DO NOT
I have to miss class today because of

a bladder infection that runs in my
family. I cannot even make it out the
door without problems.
I am in the process of drafting my essay for unit 1, but

due to an illness I will be missing class today. I will try
to make an appointment in the Writing Center to have a
tutor review my essay.
Thank you,
Joe Student
Avoid flaming. Flaming is when someone deliberately sends a hostile and insulting e-mail.
If you are upset about an issue, wait to e-mail the person until you have had time to cool
down. You will regret sending an e-mail that displays your strong emotion. If you want to
discuss an issue that has caused you some concern, then e-mail a request to meet in person. Also, using all caps and too many exclamation points can create intentional or unintentional flaming in your e-mail. Using all caps makes it seem as if you are SHOUTING
at the reader, while too many exclamation points suggest urgency and overexcitement.
DO
DO NOT
What is the purpose of writing

several drafts if you do not write
individual feedback on every draft!
In other classes, I write the essay a
couple of days before it is due and
just turn in one final draft! The
drawn out drafting process is pointless!!!
I am confused about the purpose of a certain class

requirement. Why do we have to write several drafts
before we hand in our final essay when I cannot afford to
print so many drafts? May I please stop by during your
office hours to discuss this issue? I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Joe
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Do not take delayed replies personally. Sending an e-mail to a reader may be relatively
quick, if servers are running as expected. However, even professionals who use e-mail
frequently are not perpetually online. For example, instructors may have professional
obligations that prevent viewing e-mail for 24 hours or even several days. If you are not
receiving replies to your e-mails, try asking the intended recipient if your e-mail has been
received.
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Reread to revise. After completing an e-mail message, take time to doublecheck to see if
you have followed the appropriate e-mail etiquette for your reader. Before you click the
send button, doublecheck for typos, spelling errors, sentence structure problems, and
any unclear communication. Test the readability of the e-mail from your readers perspective. Taking time to revise will save embarrassment.
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Activity
The following sample student e-mails do not follow e-mail etiquette. For each of the
samples, identify the e-mail etiquette guidelines that have not been followed. Also, make
a list of suggestions for change that would make each e-mail easier to readand more
professional. In small groups, rewrite the sample assigned by your instructor.
Sample 1
Dear Michael,
I know that you have given me an extra day for this english and that was very knid of you and
I am very greatful. I have been trying all day to get ahold of jane but I think when she gave me
her number I might have put it in my phone wrong. im going to keep trying to get ahold of her
if I cant I was curious if we could get an extra day and if not I undersatnd
Sample 2
Sorry about the earlier everthing is under control we will be ready to give our presentations.
see yio early morning
Sample 3
hello my name is annie m joe I have been told that I should contact you about enrolling in the
wriing lab that you are instructing I was enrolled in expository writing with lisa Hughes and
we dicusted the i am not ready. if you could give me a call so that we may discus the posibillity
of my inrolment in you class I would be grateful me phone number is 785-555-5555/thank
you in advance.
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Sample 4
hey how y doing, this jules bennett. Me and my advisor was wonder if can take Eng 200,
because she said I need tomove alone with the class. I will be taking the class at 5 pm, so I
will have plenty of time to get help.
e-mail back
thank you
Sample 5
hi this is eric manning and i e-mailed you about changing my engkish grade and you have not
git back with me so. i wanted to know your around.
Determine the Appropriate Level of Formality. The intended reader of your e-mail
determines the level of formality needed for your message. When sending an e-mail
to a person for the first time, even if you do not consider it a professional relationship,
your e-mail should be formal. If you are undecided as to whether the e-mail should be
considered personal or professional, err on the side of being more professional. Though
your instructor might be quite friendly, remember that your instructors role is comparable to that of a supervisor in the workplace. Your e-mail should reflect this professional
relationshipwhether your instructor is young and hip, old and stodgy, or somewhere
in between.
Activity
Using the spectrogram below, where do the following readers fall?
0
100
Least Formal
Most Formal
Instructor who is your age

Instructor who is at least 20 years older than you
Coworker
Roommate
Sibling
Classmate
Supervisor
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Works Cited
Anderson, Paul V. Technical Communication: A Reader-Centered Approach. 6th ed.

Boston: Thomson Wadsworth, 2007.
Dobrin, Sidney I., Christopher J. Keller, and Christian R. Weisser. Technical Communication in the Twenty-First Century. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey: Pearson Education Inc., 2008.
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CHAPTER 3
Gender Analysis
Assignment Guidelines
This assignment asks you to reflect on the power that visual media has in creating and
maintaining the social construction of gender. In todays information age we are bombarded with visual images relating all kinds of messages. Advertisers, entertainment
groups, media corporations, advocacy groups, the government, and others create visual
messages to make a point, to sell a product, and/or to illuminate an issue. Analyzing
these images can help us identify and explain how many ideas are conveyed through our
increasingly visual culture.
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For this assignment, you will adopt the role of an image analyst for a large media outlet.
Your job is to analyze one clients visual message in order to answer the question What
does this visual say about gender in the U.S.? To do this, you will write a memo to your
supervising editor that 1) identifies the images audience and purpose and 2) explains
how gender is represented in the visual message. Paying close attention to the details
of the visual will begin your observation; the development of those observations lies
in making connections between what you see at the surface, what you know about the
social construction of gender, and what you identify as significant about the gendered
message to our society. To help you develop and deepen your own understanding and
your analysis, you must use at least two outside sources (from this textbook or from outside research).
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Be sure to focus your analysis on something new and perhaps even surprising about
the gendered message your visual delivers. And, while your thorough analysis depends
upon a clear description of the visual, be sure to move beyond the surface observations
explore details and look for subtle clues that will make your audience see the visual in a
new way. It might be useful to think about how gendered messages work together with
other demographic themes, such as the following:

Masculinity and parenting.
Femininity and sports.
Masculinity/femininity and aging, youth, or childhood.
Masculinity/femininity and relationships.
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CHAPTER 3 Gender Analysis
Objectives
By the end of this assignment, you should be able to do the following:

Analyze a visual messages features and explain how they target a particular audience.
Describe the common portrayals of gender and discuss how these portrayals relate
to their social constructions.
Analyze the role visual media have in creating and maintaining social constructions
of gender.
Explain the significance to contemporary American society of the gendered messages in your chosen visual.
Use sources appropriately to support your claims.
Use correct memo format.
Rationale
The gender analysis assignment is important because it asks you to meet one of the most
important objectives in English 100: to demonstrate critical thinking when examining
and analyzing human difference. In order to fulfill this objective, you will
Analyze how authors and designers represent human difference.
Identify how culture and society impact the ways human beings are represented.
Activity: Thinking About Visuals

To get us thinking about visual messages, consider these questions:
Think back to your decision-making process when you were applying to colleges. Were
you able to visit each school, or did you have to rely on websites or brochures to get a feel
for each place? How much did the published materials influence your decision to apply
or to attend?
Think about family photos, vacation photos, photos in the family album from birthday
parties, etc. Are those photographic representations consistent with your actual, lived
reality at those moments? If there is a discrepancy between the lived reality and the
image, what accounts for it?
j Important Vocabulary
Two of the learning objectives for the gender analysis assignment deal with the concepts
of social construction and gender. These objectives are:
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Describe the common portrayals of women and men and discuss how these portrayals relate to social constructions about these groups.
Recognize the role visual media has in creating and maintaining social constructions of gender.
As you select and analyze features of visual messages to meet these objectives, it will be
helpful to recognize and understand the definitions of terms related to your discussions
of how gender is represented in the United States. On the next few pages we have collected definitions of terms that may help you develop your ideas.
Sex vs. Gender
In our culture, we often exchange the words sex and gender, using the terms as if they
mean the same thing. In casual conversation this might not be a problem if everyone
present understands what the speaker is trying to say. For your purpose as an analyst of
a visual message, however, you will need to distinguish between these two concepts. The
definitions below help to clarify the differences between the words.
Sex
Either of the two major forms of individuals that occur in many species and that are
distinguished respectively as female or male especially on the basis of their reproductive
organs and structures.
from sex. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008. Merriam-Webster Online.

26 Mar. 2009 <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/>.
Sum of features by which a member of a plant or animal species can be placed into one
of two complementary reproductive groups, male or female.
from sex. Encyclopdia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopdia Britannica Online. 31 Mar.
2009 <http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/228219/gender-identity>.
Sexuality
1. The condition of being characterized and distinguished by sex.
2. Concern with or interest in sexual activity.

3. Sexual character or potency.
from sexuality. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth
Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 31 Mar. 2009. <Dictionary.com
<http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sexuality>.
Gender
The behavioral, cultural, or psychological traits typically associated with one sex.
from gender. Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. 2008. Merriam-Webster Online.
26 Mar. 2009 <http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/>.
Gender Identity
An individuals self-conception as being male or female, as distinguished from actual biological sex.
from gender identity. Encyclopdia Britannica. 2009. Encyclopdia Britannica

Online. 31 Mar. 2009 <http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/228219/
gender-identity>.
41
Social Constructions and Privilege

In order to develop your gender analysis memo and to communicate clearly with your
audience, you will also need to be familiar with the sociological concepts defined below.
As explained above, the significant difference between sex and gender is that gender
is not biological; it is defined by peoples perceptions. Therefore, the characteristics generally expected of men and women in our culture exist because most members of our
culture agree to see gender in that way. Therefore, gender is a social construct.
Because socially defined behaviors or expectations do not always relate to an individuals
actual abilities, values, or preferences, identifying social systems and constructions can
be a complex task. Like many abstract ideas, social systems and social constructions can
be hard to see. In fact, many members of society are not even aware of the social system
or how the social system affects them.
The definitions below may help you discuss these ideas.
Social System
The people in a society considered as a system organized by a characteristic pattern of

relationships.
from social system. WordNet 3.0. 2006. Princeton University. 31 Mar. 2009. <http://
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn3.0?s=word-you-want>.
Social Construct
A social mechanism, phenomenon, or category created and developed by society; a perception of an individual, group, or idea that is constructed through cultural or social
practice.
from social construct. Websters New Millennium Dictionary of English, Preview
Edition (v 0.9.7). Dictionary.com, LLC. 29 Apr. 2009. <Dictionary.com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/social construct>.
Privilege
An exclusive, unearned advantage that is socially conferred.

from Johnson, Allan. Power, Privilege, and Difference. Kansas State University Provost Lecture Series. 22 January 2009.
a. A special advantage, immunity, permission, right, or benefit granted to or enjoyed by

an individual, class, or caste.
b. Such an advantage, immunity, or right held as a prerogative of status or rank, and

exercised to the exclusion or detriment of others.
from privilege. The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language,
Fourth Edition. Houghton Mifflin Company, 2004. 31 Mar. 2009. <Dictionary.
com http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/privilege>.
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j Selecting a Visual to Analyze

You are looking for an image that says something about gender in the U.S. How will
you determine what that message is? To start, its helpful to answer the questions below
about your potential visual to determine how well it will work for this assignment.
1. Does your visual include at least one person? (Note: It will be difficult to analyze
gender in a visual without people.)
2. Can you quickly determine the purpose of the visual? (For example, to sell, to advocate, to inform, to shock, to motivate, to protest, etc.?)
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3. Can you determine the target audience? (Note: Relying upon an ad search on
Google makes this almost impossible.)
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4. Does the visual employ color? If yes, does it seem immediately important to a gendered message? If no, whats happening with the black-and-white color scheme in
terms of gender?
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5. Does the visual use written text?
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If you are able to answer yes to most of these questions, go back through them and take
notes on the reasons why you are able to answer yes.
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Invention Activities
Developing Your Gender Analysis
For this assignment, one of your objectives is to analyze a visual messages features and
explain how they appeal to a particular audience. In order to accomplish this objective, you will need to make sure that you fully explain your interpretation of the visual
message to your reading audience. To make sure your memo fully develops how the
visual works and why the features appeal to the target audience, consider the following
questions:

What do you think motivated the creators of the visual to produce this image?
What about it motivates your viewing? Perhaps finding out more about the creators
motives can help you achieve a clearer or richer understanding of the choices made
in producing the text.
Who is the intended audience? What evidence can you find by examining the features of the visual to help you answer this question? What is the original location of
the image? What additional kinds of information or research would help you build
on this initial audience analysis?
What is the point of view of the visual? Once youve identified the point of view,
describe it. Is it critical? Sympathetic? Ironic? Something else? What cultural factors
might account for this point of view? How does the point of view connect with the
intended audience? Would other audiences like or dislike this point of view?
What did the creators want to accomplish with the visual message? What are the
various purposes inherent to the visual, and which do you think are the most important? How can you tell?
What people or groups are represented, and how? What might those people think of
the way theyre being represented? What is the gender message of the visualthat
is, what is it telling us about what it means to be masculine and/or feminine in our
society?
Are there any words on or added to the image? If so, how do they contribute to the
message of the text? If we read the image without the written text, would the message be the same?
Does the text overgeneralize or in any way suggest a stereotype? Is this intentional?
If so, for what purpose?
44
Visual Message Analysis Guide

Consider the points below about target audience and design features to analyze your
visual message. Then, narrow your analysis to look specifically at the visuals message
about gender.
Target Audience
Understanding the target audience of a visual message is critical to our understanding of

how the message works. Thats why we begin with identifying, as closely as possible, the
target audience: with whom were the visuals creators trying to communicate and why?
To answer these questions, consider the points below:
Where does the visual appear? Was it in a magazine, on a poster or banner, online,
on Facebook or accompanying an article, or the label or cover on a product, etc.?
Who is the intended audience (who is likely to be browsing Facebook, or reading

Sports Illustrated)? Is it men, women, teenagers, parents, retirees? Think here also
about demographics such as gender, age, region, class, and ethnicity. What specific
details of the visual help you to know who the audience is?
How does the visual appeal to its audience? Why would the audience be drawn to
this visual?
What tone or feeling does the visual project? How does that tone relate to the
audience?
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Design Features
All visual messages have to use elements of design to communicate with their audiences.
Therefore, to analyze the message, you have to closely study the different features to figure out what they contribute to the overall message. Answer the questions listed below
for the design features of layout, people, context, color, and text and images.
Layout
Layout is the overall arrangement of elements and the general use of space in the visual.
Placement and size of the features within a visual in relationship to other features can
imply meaning about those features. Consider:
What do you notice first? What seems to be the most important feature?
Consider the arrangement of the visuals elements. Which elements are larger or
more dominant? Which elements are smaller or less dominant?
Is the visual divided into sections? How are the elements arranged within the
sections?
How are elements in the visual framed? Does the visual use empty space? Does the
visual use shapes and lines?
How does the placement of text influence what the audience reads first? What might
be meant by emphasizing that information?
How does the placement of the text relate to the placement of the images? What
meaning could be implied by placing the text and images together in this manner?
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People
To analyze a message about gender, the visual will most likely contain images of people.
Studying how people are presented in the visual is vital to understanding the message
about gender. Consider:
What kinds of people are in the visual? Describe their age, gender, ethnicity, and
class.
How are the people portrayed? Describe their clothing, hair styles, body posture,
including which portions of their bodies are shown, their facial expressions, hand
gestures, etc.
What kind of camera angle does the visual use? Are the people in focus, shot from
above, shot from below, close up or far away? A low camera angle suggests that the
subject, or feature in the shot, is powerful or high-ranking; a high camera angle suggests that the subject is inferior or low-ranking.
Does there seem to be a relationship between the people in the visual? Are the people arranged in a way that projects a feeling, such as dominance, superiority, love, or
friendship?
What are the people in the visual looking at? Are they looking at something in the
visual or something outside? Are they looking at you, the reader? Are their eyes
closed? Can you even see their eyes or faces? What someone looks at and how someone looks at it can create meaning. If the visual does not show someones eyes, it can
suggest deception or mystery. If you cant see someones face, it can suggest a lack of
identity or even objectivity, which is a lack of humanity.
Context
Context includes the created environment, or set, within the visual. Some visuals may
tell a story while others may be a snapshot moment in time. Knowing the context can
help you find meaning about the visual message. Consider:
Where does the visual appear to be set? Consider the time of day and year, the place
(inside, outside, rural, urban, etc.), and the season.
What kind of story is the visual telling? Can you imagine what might have taken
place before or after the picture shown?
What props are in the visual? Are they new, old, clean, dirty, neat, or disordered?
What do these items and their condition suggest?
What social meaning do we associate with these props? A sports car, for example,
means something different than an SUV. What cultural impressions are created by
the visuals props?
What kinds of people might relate to the story being told? What kinds of people
might feel left out?
Color
Color is an important design feature that can catch the audiences attention while simultaneously conveying meaning. Meaning can be conveyed through color by using colors
with symbolic associations and by using colors that work together to create contrast to
emphasize other design features. Consider:
46
Is the visual only black and white? What might be the reason for the lack of color?
Where is the most color used? Where is the least color used? What might be the
reason for the difference in use of color?
Do the colors work to create contrast between light and dark? Our eyes are drawn to
stark contrasts first. What might the visual be emphasizing through contrast?
What kinds of emotions do the colors suggest? For example, red suggests passion
or anger. Green can suggest envy. Whose emotions might be associated with these
suggestions?
What associations might someone make with the colors? For example, pink and
pastel colors are often associated with girls and are considered feminine; blues and
other primary colors are often associated with boys and are considered masculine.
What other colors have cultural symbolism?
Text and Images
Text is often used in visual messages to connect the images in the visual with the overall
message. This meaning can be created through the literal meaning of the words as well
as through the graphic representation of the letters themselves. What the text looks like
can convey as much meaning, if not more, as the words themselves. Consider:
What text is in your visual? Is there any fine print? If your visual doesnt have any
text, what might the lack of text suggest about the visuals meaning?
Does the visual have a major headline, or prominent, primary text? How is the headline different from other text in the visual?
How do the text and the graphics work together with the other features, such as
people or color? What does the text literally say through its words?
Describe the text in terms of font, size, style, and color. What attitude does the text
project? Is it serious, silly, scary, or some other attitude?
What tone does the text use (formal, informal, comic, authoritative, etc.)?
Are any symbols or logos used? What meaning might they have?
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Applying Design Feature Analysis to Gender
As the central purpose of this assignment, analyzing gender is an important part of your
study of each design feature above. Consider the questions below to help you narrow
your analysis to those details of the visual that relate the most to the concept of gender.
From the notes you have taken on the features listed above, which features seem to
be gendered? What details from the visual gives you these impressions?
What elements seem feminine? What elements seem masculine?
Do the elements maintain feminine and masculine stereotypes, or do they complicate them?
What does the visual say about gender in the U.S.? Which features support that message? How do those features convey that idea about gender?
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Analysis Map
Fill in the chart below after using the Visual Message Analysis Guide to study your visual.
Describe a specific detail from your visual, and then categorize what type of design feature it is. In the last two boxes of the row, explain any general meaning the detail presents
as well as the gender-specific message the detail creates. An example is provided in the
first row.
Visual Description of
Specific Detail
Bucket of chicken
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Type of Design Feature

ContextProp
General Meaning
A bucket of chicken is a
fast, greasy food often
associated with men
gathering to watch football on TV. Its not very
classy or formal.
Gender-Specific
Meaning
It is a stereotypical guy
thing to enjoy specifically
with other guys.
jPre-Reading Questions
1. What do you think it means to be a boy in our society? What characteristics, colors,
activities, etc., do we associate with boyhood?
2. What happens, then, when boys grow up? How do their ideal characteristics, color
and activity preferences change?
3. Which masculine identitybeing a boy or being a manis most socially desirable?
What makes you think so?
Men Will Be Boys1
A Generation of Males Thats Stuck in Guyland
Michael Kimmel
The New York PostSeptember 7, 2008
Todays young men are coming of age in an era with no road maps, no blueprints,
and no primers to tell them what a man is or how to become one. None of the terms
given to this stage of developmentemergent adulthood, twixtershave any resonance whatever with the young men I have spoken to on college campuses and in
workplaces around the country.
Almost all of them call themselvesand call each otherguys. Its a generic catchall term that demarcates this age group, setting it apart from kids and grown-ups.
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Guyland is the world in which these young men live. It is both a stage of life, an
undefined time span between adolescence and adulthood that can often stretch for
a decade or more, and a place, or, rather, a bunch of places where guys gather to be
guys with each other, unhassled by the demands of parents, girlfriends, jobs, kids,
and the other nuisances of adult life. In this topsy-turvy, Peter-Pan mindset, young
men shirk the responsibilities of adulthood and remain fixated on the trappings of
boyhood, while the boys they still are struggle heroically to prove that they are real
men despite all evidence to the contrary.
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Males between 16 and 26 number well over 22 millionmore than 15% of the total
male population in the United States. The guy age bracket represents the front end
of the single most desirable consumer market, according to advertisers. Yet aside
from assiduous market research, Guyland is a terra incognita. Many of us only know
weve landed there when we feel distraught about our children, anxious that they
have entered, or will be entering, a world that we barely know. Just what are they
doing in their rooms at all hours of the night? Why are they so directionless when
they graduate that they take dead-end jobs and move back home? What happened to
the motivated young man who left for college with such high hopes and a keen sense
of purpose? And guys themselves often wonder where they left their dreams.
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Text from Chapters 1 and 2 (as appeared in the New York Post September 7, 2008) from Guyland: The
Perilous World Where Boys Become Men by Michael Kimmel. Copyright 2008 by Michael Kimmel.
Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers.
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Who Are These Guys?

Its easy to observe these guys virtually everywhere in Americain every high
school and college campus in America, with their baseball caps on frontways or
backwards, their easy smiles or anxious darting eyes, huddled around tiny electronic
gadgets or laptops, or relaxing in front of massive wide screen hi-def TVs, in basements, dorms, and frat houses.
In some respects, Guyland can be defined by what guys do for fun. Its the boyhood side of the continuum theyre so reluctant to leave. Its drinking, sex, and video
games. Its watching sports, reading about sports, listening to sports on the radio. Its
televisioncartoons, reality shows, music videos, shoot-em-up movies, sports, and
pornpizza and beer. Its all the behavior that makes the real grown-ups in their
lives roll their eyes and wonder, When will he grow up?!
The U.S. census shows a steady and dramatic decline in the percentage of young
adults who have completed the demographic markers of marriage and becoming a
parent. In 2000, 46% of women and 31% of men had reached those markers by age
30. In 1960, just forty years earlier, 77% of women and 65% of men had reached them.
There are some parts of Guyland that are quite positive. The advancing age of marriage, for example, benefits both women and men, who have more time to explore
career opportunities, not to mention establishing their identities, before committing to home and family. And much of what qualifies as fun in Guyland is relatively
harmless.
Yet there is a disturbing undercurrent to much of it as well. College guys post pornography everywhere in their dorm rooms. In fraternities and dorms on virtually every
campus, plenty of guys are getting drunk almost every night, prowling for women
with whom they can hook up, and chalking it all up to harmless fun. Homophobia
is ubiquitous; indeed, thats so gay is probably the most frequently used put down
in middle schools, high schools, and college today.
Why Is This Happening Now?

The entire landscape of Guyland is structured by the massive social and economic
changes in the United States over the past several decades. As Susan Faludi documented in her book Stiffed, men who once found meaning and social value in their
work are increasingly pushed into lower-wage service occupations; as the economy
has shifted from a culture of production to a culture of consumption men experience their masculinity less as providers and protectors, and more as consumers, as
ornaments. Many men feel downsizedboth economically and emotionally; they
feel smaller, less essential, less like real men.
At the same time, women have entered every single arena once completely dominated by men. Where once there were so many places where men could validate
their masculinity, proving it in the eyes of other men, there are today fewer and
fewer places where they arent also competing with women.
Yes, young men have always wanted to prove themselvesthat is nothing new. But
today that desire has a distinct tone of desperation to it.
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What Can Be Done?

Just as one can support the troops but oppose the war, so too can one appreciate and
support individual guys while engaging critically with the social and cultural world
they inhabit. We need to enter this world, see the perilous field in which boys become
men in our society because we desperately need to start a conversation about that
world. We do boys a great disservice by turning away, excusing the excesses of Guyland as just boys being boysbecause we fail to see just how powerful its influence
really is. Only when we begin to engage in these conversations, with open eyes and
open heartsas parents to children, as friends, as guys themselvescan we both
reduce the risks and enable guys to navigate it more successfully.
The time has come to map and acknowledge this terrain in order to enable guys
and those who know them, care about them, love themto steer a course with
greater integrity and honesty, so they can be true not to some artificial world, but to
themselves. j
jPost-Reading Questions
1. What is the main idea of this article?
2. Who do you think Kimmel is writing to with this article? How can you tell? Are you
a part of that audience? If not, does that change how you read the article?
3. Why does Kimmel believe it is important to explore Guyland? What problem(s)
does Kimmel associate with Guyland?
4. After reading this article, how would you define and describe the following categories of masculinity: boy, guy, and man?
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jPre-Reading Questions
1. Think about your childhood experience with toys, colors, activities, etc. What did
you like? Did anyone ever tell you that what you liked was for boys or for girls?
2. Do you remember when you transitioned from childhood into adolescence and
beyond? How did your favorite colors, activities, etc., change?
3. Which feminine identitybeing a girl or being a womanis most socially desirable?
What makes you think so?
Whats Wrong with Cinderella?2
One Mothers Struggle with Her 3-Year-Old Daughters Love Affair

with Princess Culture
Peggy Orenstein
I finally came unhinged in the dentists officeone of those ritzy pediatric practices tricked out with comic books, DVDs and arcade gameswhere Id taken my
3-year-old daughter for her first exam. Until then, Id held my tongue. Id smiled
politely every time the supermarket-checkout clerk greeted her with Hi, Princess;
ignored the waitress at our local breakfast joint who called the funny-face pancakes
she ordered her princess meal; made no comment when the lady at Longs Drugs
said, I bet I know your favorite color and handed her a pink balloon rather than letting her choose for herself. Maybe it was the dentists Betty Boop inflection that got
to me, but when she pointed to the exam chair and said, Would you like to sit in my
special princess throne so I can sparkle your teeth? I lost it.
Oh, for Gods sake, I snapped. Do you have a princess drill, too?
She stared at me as if I were an evil stepmother.
Come on! I continued, my voice rising. Its 2006, not 1950. This is Berkeley, California. Does every little girl really have to be a princess?
My daughter, who was reaching for a Cinderella sticker, looked back and forth between
us. Why are you so mad, Mama? she asked. Whats wrong with princesses?
Diana may be dead and Masako disgraced, but here in America, we are in the midst
of a royal moment. To call princesses a trend among girls is like calling Harry Potter a book. Sales at Disney Consumer Products, which started the craze six years ago
by packaging nine of its female characters under one royal rubric, have shot up to
$3 billion, globally, this year, from $300 million in 2001. There are now more than
25,000 Disney Princess items. Princess, as some Disney execs call it, is not only
the fastest-growing brand the company has ever created; they say it is on its way to
becoming the largest girls franchise on the planet.
Meanwhile in 2001, Mattel brought out its own world of girl line of princess Barbie dolls, DVDs, toys, clothing, home dcor and myriad other products. At a time
when Barbie sales were declining domestically, they became instant best sellers.
Shortly before that, Mary Drolet, a Chicago-area mother and former Claires and
Whats Wrong with Cinderella? by Peggy Orenstein from The New York Times Magazine, December 24,
2006. Copyright 2006 by Peggy Orenstein. Reprinted by permission.
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Montgomery Ward executive, opened Club Libby Lu, now a chain of mall stores
based largely in the suburbs in which girls ages 4 to 12 can shop for Princess Phones
covered in faux fur and attend Princess-Makeover Birthday Parties. Saks bought
Club Libby Lu in 2003 for $12 million and has since expanded it to 87 outlets; by
2005, with only scant local advertising, revenues hovered around the $46 million
mark, a 53 percent jump from the previous year. Pink, it seems, is the new gold.
Even Dora the Explorer, the intrepid, dirty-kneed adventurer, has ascended to the
throne: in 2004, after a two-part episode in which she turns into a true princess,
the Nickelodeon and Viacom consumer-products division released a satin-gowned
Magic Hair Fairytale Dora, with hair that grows or shortens when her crown is
touched. Among other phrases the bilingual doll utters: Vmonos! Lets go to fairytale land! and Will you brush my hair?
As a feminist mothernot to mention a nostalgic product of the Grranimals eraI
have been taken by surprise by the princess craze and the girlie-girl culture that has
risen around it. What happened to William wanting a doll and not dressing your
cat in an apron? Whither Marlo Thomas? I watch my fellow mothers, women who
once swore theyd never be dependent on a man, smile indulgently at daughters who
warble So This Is Love or insist on being called Snow White. I wonder if theyd
concede so readily to sons who begged for combat fatigues and mock AK-47s.
More to the point, when my own girl makes her daily beeline for the dress-up corner
of her preschool classroomsomething Im convinced she does largely to torture
meI worry about what playing Little Mermaid is teaching her. Ive spent much
of my career writing about experiences that undermine girls well-being, warning
parents that a preoccupation with body and beauty (encouraged by films, TV, magazines and, yes, toys) is perilous to their daughters mental and physical health. Am I
now supposed to shrug and forget all that? If trafficking in stereotypes doesnt matter
at 3, when does it matter? At 6? Eight? Thirteen?
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On the other hand, maybe Im still surfing a washed-out second wave of feminism
in a third-wave world. Maybe princesses are in fact a sign of progress, an indication
that girls can embrace their predilection for pink without compromising strength or
ambition; that, at long last, they can have it all. Or maybe it is even less complex
than that: to mangle Freud, maybe a princess is sometimes just a princess. And, as
my daughter wants to know, whats wrong with that?
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The rise of the Disney Princesses reads like a fairy tale itself, with Andy Mooney, a
former Nike executive, playing the part of prince, riding into the company on a metaphoric white horse in January 2000 to save a consumer-products division whose
sales were dropping by as much as 30 percent a year. Both overstretched and underfocused, the division had triggered price wars by granting multiple licenses for core
products (say, Winnie-the-Pooh undies) while ignoring the potential of new media.
Whats more, Disney films like A Bugs Life in 1998 had yielded few merchandising
opportunitieswhat child wants to snuggle up with an ant?
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It was about a month after Mooneys arrival that the magic struck. Thats when he
flew to Phoenix to check out his first Disney on Ice show. Standing in line in the
arena, I was surrounded by little girls dressed head to toe as princesses, he told
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me last summer in his palatial office, then located in Burbank, and speaking in a
rolling Scottish burr. They werent even Disney products. They were generic princess products theyd appended to a Halloween costume. And the light bulb went off.
Clearly there was latent demand here. So the next morning I said to my team, O.K.,
lets establish standards and a color palette and talk to licensees and get as much
product out there as we possibly can that allows these girls to do what theyre doing
anyway: projecting themselves into the characters from the classic movies.
Mooney picked a mix of old and new heroines to wear the Pantone pink No. 241
corona: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Ariel, Belle, Jasmine, Mulan and
Pocahontas. It was the first time Disney marketed characters separately from a films
release, let alone lumped together those from different stories. To ensure the sanctity
of what Mooney called their individual mythologies, the princesses never make eye
contact when theyre grouped: each stares off in a slightly different direction as if
unaware of the others presence.
It is also worth noting that not all of the ladies are of royal extraction. Part of the
genius of Princess is that its meaning is so broadly constructed that it actually has
no meaning. Even Tinker Bell was originally a Princess, though her reign didnt last.
Wed always debate over whether she was really a part of the Princess mythology,
Mooney recalled. She really wasnt. Likewise, Mulan and Pocahontas, arguably the
most resourceful of the bunch, are rarely depicted on Princess merchandise, though
for a different reason. Their rustic garb has less bling potential than that of oldschool heroines like Sleeping Beauty. (When Mulan does appear, she is typically in
the kimonolike hanfu, which makes her miserable in the movie, rather than her liberated warriors gear.)
The first Princess items, released with no marketing plan, no focus groups, no advertising, sold as if blessed by a fairy godmother. To this day, Disney conducts little market research on the Princess line, relying instead on the power of its legacy among
mothers as well as the instant-read sales barometer of the theme parks and Disney
Stores. We simply gave girls what they wanted, Mooney said of the lines success,
although I dont think any of us grasped how much they wanted this. I wish I could
sit here and take credit for having some grand scheme to develop this, but all we did
was envision a little girls room and think about how she could live out the princess
fantasy. The counsel we gave to licensees was: What type of bedding would a princess want to sleep in? What kind of alarm clock would a princess want to wake up to?
What type of television would a princess like to see? Its a rare case where you find a
girl who has every aspect of her room bedecked in Princess, but if she ends up with
three or four of these items, well, then you have a very healthy business.
Every reporter Mooney talks to asks some version of my next question: Arent the
Princesses, who are interested only in clothes, jewelry and cadging the handsome
prince, somewhat retrograde role models?
Look, he said, I have friends whose son went through the Power Rangers phase who
castigated themselves over what they mustve done wrong. Then they talked to other
parents whose kids had gone through it. The boy passes through. The girl passes
through. I see girls expanding their imagination through visualizing themselves as
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princesses, and then they pass through that phase and end up becoming lawyers,
doctors, mothers or princesses, whatever the case may be.
Mooney has a point: There are no studies proving that playing princess directly damages girls self-esteem or dampens other aspirations. On the other hand, there is evidence that young women who hold the most conventionally feminine beliefswho
avoid conflict and think they should be perpetually nice and prettyare more likely
to be depressed than others and less likely to use contraception. Whats more, the 23
percent decline in girls participation in sports and other vigorous activity between
middle and high school has been linked to their sense that athletics is unfeminine.
And in a survey released last October by Girls Inc., school-age girls overwhelmingly
reported a paralyzing pressure to be perfect: not only to get straight As and be the
student-body president, editor of the newspaper and captain of the swim team but
also to be kind and caring, please everyone, be very thin and dress right. Give
those girls a pumpkin and a glass slipper and theyd be in business.
At the grocery store one day, my daughter noticed a little girl sporting a Cinderella
backpack. Theres that princess you dont like, Mama! she shouted.
Um, yeah, I said, trying not to meet the other mothers hostile gaze.
Dont you like her blue dress, Mama?

I had to admit, I did.
She thought about this. Then dont you like her face?
Her face is all right, I said, noncommittally, though Im not thrilled to have my Japanese-Jewish child in thrall to those Aryan features. (And what the heck are those
blue things covering her ears?) Its just, honey, Cinderella doesnt really do anything.
Over the next 45 minutes, we ran through that conversation, verbatim, approximately 37 million times, as my daughter pointed out Disney Princess Band-Aids,
Disney Princess paper cups, Disney Princess lip balm, Disney Princess pens, Disney
Princess crayons and Disney Princess notebooksall cleverly displayed at the eye
level of a 3-year-old trapped in a shopping cartas well as a bouquet of Disney Princess balloons bobbing over the checkout line. The repetition was excessive, even for
a preschooler. What was it about my answers that confounded her? What if, instead
of realizing: Aha! Cinderella is a symbol of the patriarchal oppression of all women,
another example of corporate mind control and power-to-the-people! my 3-year-old
was thinking, Mommy doesnt want me to be a girl?
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According to theories of gender constancy, until theyre about 6 or 7, children dont

realize that the sex they were born with is immutable. They believe that they have
a choice: they can grow up to be either a mommy or a daddy. Some psychologists
say that until permanency sets in kids embrace whatever stereotypes our culture
presents, whether its piling on the most spangles or attacking one another with light
sabers. What better way to assure that theyll always remain themselves? If thats the
case, score one for Mooney. By not buying the Princess Pull-Ups, I may be inadvertently communicating that being female (to the extent that my daughter is able to
understand it) is a bad thing.
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Anyway, you have to give girls some credit. Its true that, according to Mattel, one of
the most popular games young girls play is bride, but Disney found that a groom
or prince is incidental to that fantasy, a regrettable necessity at best. Although they
keep him around for the climactic kiss, he is otherwise relegated to the bottom of the
toy box, which is why you dont see him prominently displayed in stores.
Whats more, just because they wear the tulle doesnt mean theyve drunk the KoolAid. Plenty of girls stray from the script, say, by playing basketball in their finery,
or casting themselves as the powerful evil stepsister bossing around the sniveling
Cinderella. I recall a headline-grabbing 2005 British study that revealed that girls
enjoy torturing, decapitating and microwaving their Barbies nearly as much as they
like to dress them up for dates. There is spice along with that sugar after all, though
why this was news is beyond me: anyone who ever played with the doll knows theres
nothing more satisfying than hacking off all her hair and holding her underwater in
the bathtub. Princesses can even be a boon to exasperated parents: in our house, for
instance, royalty never whines and uses the potty every single time.
Playing princess is not the issue, argues Lyn Mikel Brown, an author, with Sharon
Lamb, of Packaging Girlhood: Rescuing Our Daughters From Marketers Schemes.
The issue is 25,000 Princess products, says Brown, a professor of education and
human development at Colby College. When one thing is so dominant, then its
no longer a choice: its a mandate, cannibalizing all other forms of play. Theres the
illusion of more choices out there for girls, but if you look around, youll see their
choices are steadily narrowing.
Its hard to imagine that girls options could truly be shrinking when they dominate
the honor roll and outnumber boys in college. Then again, have you taken a stroll
through a childrens store lately? A year ago, when we shopped for big girl bedding at Pottery Barn Kids, we found the girls side awash in flowers, hearts and
hula dancers; not a soccer player or sailboat in sight. Across the no-fly zone, the
boys territory was all about sports, trains, planes and automobiles. Meanwhile,
Baby GAPs boys onesies were emblazoned with Big Man on Campus and the girls
with Social Butterfly; guess whose matching shoes were decorated on the soles
with hearts and whose sported a No. 1 logo? And at Toys R Us, aisles of pink baby
dolls, kitchens, shopping carts and princesses unfurl a safe distance from the Star
Wars figures, GeoTrax and tool chests. The relentless resegregation of childhood
appears to have sneaked up without any further discussion about sex roles, about
what it now means to be a boy or to be a girl. Or maybe it has happened in lieu of
such discussion because its easier this way.
Easier, that is, unless you want to buy your daughter something that isnt pink. Girls
obsession with that color may seem like something theyre born with, like the ability to breathe or talk on the phone for hours on end. But according to Jo Paoletti, an
associate professor of American studies at the University of Maryland, it aint so.
When colors were first introduced to the nursery in the early part of the 20th century,
pink was considered the more masculine hue, a pastel version of red. Blue, with its
intimations of the Virgin Mary, constancy and faithfulness, was thought to be dainty.
Why or when that switched is not clear, but as late as the 1930s a significant percentage of adults in one national survey held to that split. Perhaps thats why so many early
Disney heroinesCinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Wendy, Alice-in-Wonderlandare
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swathed in varying shades of azure. (Purple, incidentally, may be the next color to
swap teams: once the realm of kings and N.F.L. players, it is fast becoming the bolder
girls version of pink.)
It wasnt until the mid-1980s, when amplifying age and sex differences became a key
strategy of childrens marketing (recall the emergence of tween), that pink became
seemingly innate to girls, part of what defined them as female, at least for the first
few years. That was also the time that the first of the generation raised during the
unisex phase of feminismah, hither Marlo!became parents. The kids who grew
up in the 1970s wanted sharp definitions for their own kids, Paoletti told me. I can
understand that, because the unisex thing denied everythingyou couldnt be this,
you couldnt be that, you had to be a neutral nothing.
The infatuation with the girlie girl certainly could, at least in part, be a reaction
against the so-called second wave of the womens movement of the 1960s and 70s
(the first wave was the fight for suffrage), which fought for reproductive rights and
economic, social and legal equality. If nothing else, pink and Princess have resuscitated the fantasy of romance that that era of feminism threatened, the privileges
that traditional femininity conferred on women despite its costsdoors magically
opened, dinner checks picked up, Manolo Blahniks. Frippery. Fun. Why should we
give up the perks of our sex until were sure of what well get in exchange? Why
should we give them up at all? Or maybe its deeper than that: the freedoms feminism bestowed came with an undercurrent of fear among women themselvesflowing through Ally McBeal, Bridget Joness Diary, Sex and the Cityof losing male
love, of never marrying, of not having children, of being deprived of something that
felt essentially and exclusively female.
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I mulled that over while flipping through The Paper Bag Princess, a 1980 picture book hailed as an antidote to Disney. The heroine outwits a dragon who has
kidnapped her prince, but not before the beasts fiery breath frizzles her hair and
destroys her dress, forcing her to don a paper bag. The ungrateful prince rejects her,
telling her to come back when she is dressed like a real princess. She dumps him
and skips off into the sunset, happily ever after, alone.
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There you have it, Thelma and Louise all over again. Step out of line, and you end
up solo or, worse, sailing crazily over a cliff to your doom. Alternatives like those
might send you skittering right back to the castle. And I get that: the fact is, though
I want my daughter to do and be whatever she wants as an adult, I still hope shell
find her Prince Charming and have babies, just as I have. I dont want her to be a fish
without a bicycle; I want her to be a fish with another fish. Preferably, one who loves
and respects her and also does the dishes and half the child care.
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There had to be a middle ground between compliant and defiant, between petticoats
and paper bags. I remembered a video on YouTube, an ad for a Nintendo game called
Super Princess Peach. It showed a pack of girls in tiaras, gowns and elbow-length
white gloves sliding down a zip line on parasols, navigating an obstacle course of
tires in their stilettos, slithering on their bellies under barbed wire, then using their
telekinetic powers to make a climbing wall burst into flames. If you can stand up
to really mean people, an announcer intoned, maybe you have what it takes to be
a princess.
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Now here were some girls who had grit as well as grace. I loved Princess Peach even as
I recognized that there was no way she could run in those heels, that her peachiness
did nothing to upset the apple cart of expectation: she may have been athletic, smart
and strong, but she was also adorable. Maybe shes what those once-unisex, postfeminist parents are shooting for: the melding of old and new standards. And perhaps thats
a good thing, the ideal solution. But what to make, then, of the young women in the
Girls Inc. survey? It doesnt seem to be having it all thats getting to them; its the
pressure to be it all. In telling our girls they can be anything, we have inadvertently
demanded that they be everything. To everyone. All the time. No wonder the report
was titled The Supergirl Dilemma.
The princess as superhero is not irrelevant. Some scholars I spoke with say that given
its post-9/11 timing, princess mania is a response to a newly dangerous world. Historically, princess worship has emerged during periods of uncertainty and profound
social change, observes Miriam Forman-Brunell, a historian at the University of
Missouri-Kansas City. Francis Hodgson Burnetts original Little Princess was published at a time of rapid urbanization, immigration and poverty; Shirley Temples
film version was a hit during the Great Depression. The original folk tales themselves, Forman-Brunell says, spring from medieval and early modern European culture that faced all kinds of economic and demographic and social upheavalfamine,
war, disease, terror of wolves. Girls play savior during times of economic crisis and
instability. Thats a heavy burden for little shoulders. Perhaps thats why the magic
wand has become an essential part of the princess get-up. In the original stories
even the Disney versions of themits not the girl herself whos magic; its the fairy
godmother. Now if Forman-Brunell is right, we adults have become the cursed creatures whom girls have the thaumaturgic power to transform.
In the 1990s, third-wave feminists rebelled against their dour big sisters, reclaiming
sexual objectification as a womans rightprovided, of course, that it was on her
own terms, that she was the one choosing to strip or wear a shirt that said Porn Star
or make out with her best friend at a frat-house bash. They embraced words like
bitch and slut as terms of affection and empowerment. That is, when used by the
right people, with the right dash of playful irony. But how can you assure that? As
Madonna gave way to Britney, whatever self-determination that message contained
was watered down and commodified until all that was left was a gaggle of 6-year-old
girls in belly-baring T-shirts (which Im guessing they dont wear as cultural critique).
It is no wonder that parents, faced with thongs for 8-year-olds and Bratz dolls passion for fashion, fill their daughters closets with pink sateen; the innocence of Princess feels like a reprieve.
But what does that mean? asks Sharon Lamb, a psychology professor at Saint
Michaels College. There are other ways to express innocencegirls could play
ladybug or caterpillar. What youre really talking about is sexual purity. And theres a
trap at the end of that rainbow, because the natural progression from pale, innocent
pink is not to other colors. Its to hot, sexy pinkexactly the kind of sexualization
parents are trying to avoid.
Lamb suggested that to see for myself how Someday My Prince Will Come morphs
into Oops! I Did It Again, I visit Club Libby Lu, the mall shop dedicated to the Very
Important Princess.
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Walking into one of the newest links in the stores chain, in Natick, Mass., last summer, I had to tip my tiara to the founder, Mary Drolet: Libby Lus design was flawless.
Unlike Disney, Drolet depended on focus groups to choose the logo (a crown-topped
heart) and the colors (pink, pink, purple and more pink). The displays were scaled to
the size of a 10-year-old, though most of the shoppers I saw were several years younger
than that. The decals on the walls and dressing roomsI Love Your Hair, Hip Chick,
Spoiledwere written in girlfriend language. The young sales clerks at this special
secret club for superfabulous girls are called club counselors and come off like your
coolest baby sitter, the one who used to let you brush her hair. The malls themselves
are chosen based on a company formula called the G.P.I., or Girl Power Index, which
predicts potential sales revenues. Talk about newspeak: Girl Power has gone from a
riot grrrrl anthem to I Am Woman, Watch Me Shop.
Inside, the store was divided into several glittery shopping zones called experiences: Libbys Laboratory, now called Sparkle Spa, where girls concoct their own
cosmetics and bath products; Libbys Room; Ear Piercing; Pooch Parlor (where divas
in training can pamper stuffed poodles, pugs and Chihuahuas); and the Style Studio,
offering Libby Du makeover choices, including Tween Idol, Rock Star, Pop Star
and, of course, Priceless Princess. Each look includes hairstyle, makeup, nail polish
and sparkly tattoos.
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As I browsed, I noticed a mother standing in the center of the store holding a price
list for makeover birthday parties$22.50 to $35 per child. Her name was Anne
McAuliffe; her daughtersStephanie, 4, and 7-year-old twins Rory and Sarahwere
dashing giddily up and down the aisles.
Theyve been begging to come to this store for three weeks, McAuliffe said. Id never
heard of it. So I said they could, but theyd have to spend their own money if they
bought anything. She looked around. Some of this stuff is innocuous, she observed,
then leaned toward me, eyes wide and stage-whispered: Buta lot of it is horrible. It
makes them look like little prostitutes. Its crazy. Theyre babies!
As we debated the line between frivolous fun and JonBent, McAuliffes daughter Rory
came dashing up, pigtails haphazard, glasses askew. They have the best pocketbooks
here, she said breathlessly, brandishing a clutch with the words Girlie Girl stamped on
it. Please, can I have one? It has sequins!
You see that? McAuliffe asked, gesturing at the bag. What am I supposed to say?
On my way out of the mall, I popped into the tween mecca Hot Topic, where
a display of Tinker Bell items caught my eye. Tinker Bell, whose image racks up
an annual $400 million in retail sales with no particular effort on Disneys part, is
poised to wreak vengeance on the Princess line that once expelled her. Last winter,
the first chapter book designed to introduce girls to Tink and her Pixie Hollow pals
spent 18 weeks on The New York Times childrens best-seller list. In a direct-toDVD now under production, she will speak for the first time, voiced by the actress
Brittany Murphy. Next year, Disney Fairies will be rolled out in earnest. Aimed at
6- to 9-year-old girls, the line will catch them just as they outgrow Princess. Their
colors will be lavender, green, turquoiseanything but the Princesss soon-to-bebabyish pink.
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To appeal to that older child, Disney executives said, the Fairies will have more attitude and sass than the Princesses. What, I wondered, did that entail? Id seen some
of the Tinker Bell merchandise that Disney sells at its theme parks: T-shirts reading,
Spoiled to Perfection, Mood Subject to Change Without Notice and Tinker Bell:
Prettier Than a Princess. At Hot Topic, that edge was even sharper: magnets, clocks,
light-switch plates and panties featured Dark Tink, described as the bad girl side of
Miss Bell that Walt never saw.
Girl power, indeed.
A few days later, I picked my daughter up from preschool. She came tearing over in a
full-skirted frock with a gold bodice, a beaded crown perched sideways on her head.
Look, Mommy, Im Ariel! she crowed, referring to Disneys Little Mermaid. Then
she stopped and furrowed her brow. Mommy, do you like Ariel?
I considered her for a moment. Maybe Princess is the first salvo in what will become
a lifelong struggle over her body image, a Hundred Years War of dieting, plucking,
painting and perpetual dissatisfaction with the results. Or maybe it isnt. Ill never
really know. In the end, its not the Princesses that really bother me anyway. Theyre
just a trigger for the bigger question of how, over the years, I can help my daughter
with the contradictions she will inevitably face as a girl, the dissonance that is as
endemic as ever to growing up female. Maybe the best I can hope for is that her generation will get a little further with the solutions than we did.
For now, I kneeled down on the floor and gave my daughter a hug.
She smiled happily. But, Mommy? she added. When I grow up, Im still going to be
a fireman. j
jPost-Reading Questions
1. What is the main idea of this article? What is princess culture?
2. Who do you think Orenstein is writing to with this article? How can you tell? Are
you a part of that audience? If not, does that change how you read the article?
3. Why does Orenstein believe it is important to examine the rise of the Disney princess? What problem(s) does she associate with it?
4. If Guyland functions as a transition into adulthood for the masculine gender, do
we have a similar experience for the feminine? What would we call it and how would
we describe it?
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Drafting Your Analysis

jIncorporating Sources to Support Your Claims
There are several places in your paper where youll want to use outside sources to support your discussion, and there are several sources that you can use to do this. Remember that you must use at least two sources to support your claims.
For example, the sample paper quotes Michael Kimmels essay Men Will Be Boys.
Michael Kimmels essay Men Will Be Boys argues that men at this time of life go to a bunch of
places where guys gather to be guys with each other, unhasseled by the demands of parents,
girlfriends, jobs, kids, and the other nuisances of adult life (53). With his bucket of chicken and, in
the Cosmopolitan version, his beer, the sloppy man in the ad looks as if he belongs in Kimmels
Guyland (53).
j Citing Sources
Using citations correctly is a way to show your audience that you have used credible sources
of information in your memo. This credibility is especially important when you are writing
in a professional situation, such as the scenario created for this assignment. Use the guidelines below to present your memo in a credible and professional way to the reader.
Works Cited Page

When you cite a source from your textbook, you are citing information that has been
reprinted. The authors of Writing Communities and Identities found essays that had
been previously printed in books, journals, or on internet sites and received permission
to reprint them. Therefore, you must include information about the original place of
publication as well as this textbook when writing your citations. The first part of the citation will depend on the type of source (i.e., book, magazine, or journal). The second part
of the citation will always be the same for each entry because its the citation for Writing
Communities and Identities. For example, the citation for the Michael Kimmel article
would start with the information about the publication it appeared in. This information
would be followed by the abbreviation Rpt. for reprint and then the information about
Writing Communities and Identities. The complete citation for the Kimmel article is
given below.
3
3
3
Kimmel, Michael. Men Will Be Boys. The New York Post. 7 Sept. 2008. Rpt. in Writing
Communities and Identities. Ed. Cynthia Debes et al. 8th ed. Plymouth, MI: HaydenMcNeil Publishing, 2012. 4951.
If you use a source that isnt from the textbook, use the guidelines from the Informative
Writing unit to help you write a citation.
In-text Citation
When you incorporate source material, it should never have to stand on its own. Note
the attributive tags/introductory phrases used in the sample paper. Also, be sure to use
parenthetical citations, when needed, after any quotations or paraphrases you use. You
will use the textbook page numbers for your in-text citation, as in the student example.
See Chapter 5 for more information about parenthetical citation.
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j Organizing Your Memo

When you are organizing your memo, you should consult the following example. Also,
you can consult the memo guidelines in the Informative Writing chapter. Use appropriate headings and white space in a way that helps the reader to understand the content of
the different parts of the memo.
You will probably want to organize your memo into at least three main parts that include:
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An introduction that states your purpose for writing and what you will discuss in
the rest of the memo.
An analysis section that discusses how the features of the visual 1) appeal to the
audience, and 2) portray gender constructions.
A conclusion that can either restate the main points of your memo, pose new questions that the reader may pursue later, or present a call for action.
A works cited.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Gender Analysis
1. Read the writers analysis of the visual message. What are the features the writer
analyzes? Do you think these are the most important features? Why or why not?
2. Has the writer connected these features of the visual message to how it appeals to
the audience? Where might more explanation be helpful? Mark these places with a
star and make suggestions for revision.
3. What is the writers main point in the memo? Underline this sentence or sentences.
If no main point is stated, try to write the main point in your own words.
4. Does the writer explain, using the readings and his or her own analysis, how the
visual portrays social constructions of gender? How? Put a star by the strongest passage of analysis and underline a passage that needs more explanation. In the space
below, write down questions that the writer still needs to answer.
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5. Look at the Assignment Guidelines at the beginning of this unit. Does the draft meet
the bulleted objectives? Number each objective. For each objective, rate the memos
effectiveness in meeting that criterion 15 (5 as excellent, 1 as poor). For any 1, 2, or
3 you give, offer suggestions to the writer for how to improve the memo to meet the
objective.
Objective #
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Ranking
Suggestions for Revision
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Self-Evaluation/Peer Critique
Self-Evaluation
First, number each of your paragraphs. Then, read your memo and answer the following questions. To remind yourself what parts of the memo are working well, so that you
can model your strengths in other places, include the paragraph numbers for each yes
answer.
1. Does your introduction provide the readers with the context and purpose of the
memo?
2. Does your introduction identify and describe the primary audience of the visual
message?
3. Does your introduction highlight a main point about how the visual works to target
its audience?
4. Do you clearly explain how various elements of the visual message effectively appeal
to the primary audience (such as rhetorical purpose, design, setting, people, symbols
and signs, color, text, and story)?
5. Do you explain, using the readings and your own analysis, how the visual works to
create a message about gender in the U.S.?
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6. Do you use accurate headings to guide your readers?
7. Does your memo remain focused upon the main points you included in the
introduction?
Peer Critique
1. As you read through your partners workshop draft, mark the following in the
margins:
Write MORE in places where you would like more information.
Mark any passages where you are confused with a ? mark.
3
2. Then, read through your partners self-workshop questions on the previous page. For
any No answers, make notes advising your partner on how he/she might effectively
incorporate the information. For example, if your partner said No to the question
that asks if he/she explained clearly how elements of the visual appealed to the primary audience, offer suggestions for how your partner might explain.
3. Once you and your partner are finished reading and writing about the others memo,
talk about each memo, focusing on strengths and weaknesses. During the discussion, the listener should take specific and readable notes.
4. When you are finished, find another classmate and form a new partnership.
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Gender Analysis
When handing in your memo, make sure to include:
A copy of the visual.
Rough drafts with workshop comments.
All notes and applicable assignments.
Additionally, remember to:
Follow memo format.
Include your last name and page number on each page.
Double space and use 12-point font.
Write at least two pages.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
3
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
The introduction provides context for readers and indicates the overall purpose of the
memo. (purpose and focus; organization)
The memo analyzes at least one feature of
the visual. (development)
The analysis gives specific examples from
the visual and explains how these features
appeal to the target audience. (development)
At least two sources are used to support
claims. (development)
The analysis remains focused upon the
memos main point. (purpose and focus)
The memo uses effective document design to
guide readers. (organization)
The memo uses a professional tone. (tone
and style)
The memo is generally free of distracting
surface errors. (editing and proofreading)
The in-text citations and Works Cited page
follow MLA style. (editing and proofreading)
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Sarah Haley wrote this gender analysis in Alison Schufelts Expos I class.
Gender Analysis of Nike Thunder Thighs Ad

Sarah Haley
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:
Supervising Editor
Sarah Haley
September 12, 2011
Gender Analysis of Nike Thunder Thighs Ad
Introduction
Just Do It.
I, like millions of other Americans, can instantly recognize that this simple yet profound statement is the famous slogan used by the multi-billion dollar Nike Incorporation. It is found on billboards, their apparel, in magazines, commercials, and
numerous other media. Nike is known not only in the United States, but throughout
the world, for their inventive and top of the line athletic merchandise/equipment to
improve performance. Being a passionate and dedicated runner myself, I too have
bought into Nikes persuasive slogan that inspires me to just do it. Therefore, when
I was preparing to purchase some new running shorts for my marathon training, I
looked only to Nike to provide the best attire. When doing so, I found a new womens ad campaign for Nike that reaped the very words I have always told myself while
looking troublesomely into the mirror. I have thunder thighs. I hated my muscular,
toned, and built thighs for years because of how big they were, but there those familiar words read on the Nike Womens advertisement affirming the statement I hated
admitting.
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3
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3
I asked myself, Could my biggest flaw really be seen by millions in an advertisement

around the world? Nike was making a vivid point that toned women were beautiful,
which I was always told in high school was not an idealistic trait of beauty. Therefore,
I chose the Nike Womens ad that states, I have thunder thighs to illustrate the various aspects that made many other women and me realize that our bodies deserve
compliments. The target audience, layout and color, and text and images all demonstrate Nikes unique message to women.
Target Audience
Nike not only appeals to athletes, but people all around the world. However, from
my analysis, it is apparent that Nike is targeting this ad towards a unique group of
women. As stated in Christine Brennans featured article titled, In Nike Ad Campaign, Big Isnt Just Better, Its Celebrated from the USA Today online site, real
women are being used in the campaign to reach out to the once neglected group of
women in media (2)built, larger, and muscular women. Society continues to pressure women to conform to the accepted stereotype of being petite, thin, and flawless
in order to feel beautiful. This Nike ad, however, takes that long standing stereotype
and completely destructs it. The advertisement based on its image and text was constructed to be accepted by a wide variety of differently shaped active women.
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Their advertisement is more or less targeted to a unique audience of XL body

women and gives them the recently accepted concept in the twenty-first century
that they can be happy in their own bodies (Brennan 12). The new Nike campaign
spokeswoman, Caren Bell, affirms this concept by claiming Nike is trying to celebrate women for who they are and not providing a fake body image to achieve
(Nike 2). Also, this ad is a new campaign for Nike and will be seen by billions of
women nationally and internationally and so was created with that in mind to appeal
to the mass amount of women who no longer strive to reach perfection with their
bodies, but peace. I believe their targeted audience is buying their products, and yet
more importantly, buying into their message of acceptance.
Layout and Color Variation

The layout and the color used in the Nikes Women ad are individually important
yet share an interesting relationship that causes this ad to stand out. First, the layout
is based upon the main image of the muscular, toned legs of a woman in the left of
the advertisement. The image is enlarged to draw attention to her first and is also in
black and white. Second, the initial statement that reads, I have thunder thighs, is
bolded and colored hot pink with the rest of the advertisement having sentences that
are zigzagging across the right in black. The statement is describing the image but
creating its own attention all at once.
The layout of the image and the text is designed so that attention is instantly gained
by the consumer by invoking a sense of the common ground. Many women know
or can associate with thunder thighs, and, therefore, feel connected to the image
and its bold affirming statement. The reason Nike does this is because they are going
against what the body image of women is portrayed in society. Instead of showing
a picture of a womans legs in pretty high heels, Nike shows in their ad a muscular
toned woman. Therefore, the black and white enlarged image and bolded and centered statement is designed to coincide with one another.
The variation in colors throughout this ad also makes it come together. The image of
the womans legs is placed in black and white. This is done to draw attention to the
advertisement because it is the only object in the frame and has no color. By using
black and white it shows the true image and does not cover up or compensate for
the muscular legs. It simple shows them and draws the consumer in. The femininity
appeal to women is evident by bolding I have thunder thighs, in the ad with hot
pink. Kim Lynn, an interviewee of MSNs online article states, Its as if theyre [Nike]
taking a derogatory statementand making it not be that (Nike 12). By using the
girly colors that symbolize love and passion with the negatively associated statement, it suggests that women should love their bodies. This is because women are
told by society to be passionate, emotional, and loving. Thus, by using colors that
embody love, Nikes message translates to women that they should love their thunder thighs. This statement, also, is the only colored text, other than Nikes slogan,
which emphasizes even more the focus of the ad. The other sentences, which are in
black, zigzagging across the rest of the ad in smaller font, are important to keep the
reader engaged but are not the most important subject of the advertisement. The
variation in color separates the Nike ad into sections; however, as I have explained,
the images black and white color is to express true beauty and the statement in hot
pink is to highlight and add to the image.
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The Words Create the Image

As I have continuously expressed, the Nike ad wants women to accept their active
and toned bodies for what they are, perfect. However, the other words in this ad also
define the image and its message even more.
The words that zigzag across the advertisement read as follows, I have thunder
thighs. And thats a compliment because they are strong, and toned, and muscular,
and though they are unwelcome in the petite section. They are cheered on in marathons. Fifty years from now Ill bounce a grandchild on my thunder thighs and then
Ill go out for a run.
Now doesnt that sound like something to be proud of? I cannot think of a better
way to accept a body image and numerous other women had the same response to
this advertisement. Nike promotes a healthy body image, which is opposite of what
women are told by society. They do this because they want women to be proud of
what their body is and not feel forced to conform to a petite, slender size that is
promoted in the media industry. According to the MSNBC online article, random
women were surveyed in Portland, Oregon, and they reported that the words in this
advertisement did not suggest a fat woman, but a healthy woman. They could recognize and relate to not only the image, but to all of the words included in the Nike
ad (Nike 12). Nike must be doing something right if they can allow a majority of
women to agree on a body image and a motivating and inspiring one at that.
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Conclusion
The Nike Womens Advertisement Campaign that features the I have thunder
thighs ad truly does empower women to accept their bodies as seen through analysis of their targeted audience, layout and color, and text and image. The clear message that Nike is declaring is body image acceptance, which speaks much farther
than my initial need for new running apparel. It made myself realize that I no longer
should cover up my own thunder thighs, but let them compliment my body like
other women have embraced from seeing this advertisement. Who knew that true
beauty could lie within muscular, bulky thighs? j
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Works Cited
Brennan, Christine. In Nike Ad Campaign, Big Isnt Just Better, Its Celebrated. USATODAY.com. USATODAY.com, August 18, 2005. Web. 12 Sept. 2011.
Nike Jumps on Real Women Bandwagon. U.S. Business on MSNBC.com. (2005): 12.
Web. 12 Sept. 2011.
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CHAPTER 4
As critical thinkers in an academic community, students are expected to explore new
and sometimes challenging ideas. As such, you wont always be asked to simply agree
or disagree with given ideas; instead, you will explore a range of possible responses and
examine the rationale or motivation for multiple perspectives. Instead of asking how a
particular text or opinion is right or wrong, you will be asked to imagine the contexts in
which points (arguments, opinions, ideas) may function or fail to function, how different
backgrounds and experiences may influence differing perspectives on issues, and how
divergentsometimes contradictoryopinions might all be valid.
This unit explores the issue of race and ethnicity in the United States and the difficulties
of having conversations about it. In the spectrum of human difference, race is often the
most emotionally charged. The activities in this unit will ask you to think about race on
college campuses. It will ask you to read about experiences college students and professors have with race, about incidents of cyber-racism, and about college courses on race.
These readings will ask you to consider different kinds of conversations and experiences
being had on college campuses that are influenced by race and ethnicity.
j Assignment Description
For this assignment, you will need to first demonstrate your understanding of the readings. To do so, you will write clear and unbiased summaries of the texts before you write
your essay exploring the issue.
Your larger writing task will be to develop an essay that adds to the conversation about
race by using the readings and your reasoning and experience to explore your own
thinking on the issue. Your goal will be to explore your ideas on the issue, inviting your
readers to see where you are coming from and inviting them to explore their own ideas
on the issue.
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CHAPTER 4 Invitational Writing
j Writing to Invite and Explore

One of the biggest opportunities on a college campus is the range of perspectives and
experiences students and faculty bring with them. Seeing something from multiple perspectives is challenging and allows us to learn new things and see things we know in
new ways. Even when we dont agree, or are exposed to ideas that are not like our own,
differing perspectives provide an opportunity for trying to understand various positions
in order for us to clarify our own. This assignment will ask you to enter the public dialogue by engaging your readers in invitational writing rather than informational or
persuasive writing. You will write in order to clarify positions, explore issues and ideas,
or articulate beliefs and values. In order to do this, you will need to set up, in the words
of Cindy Griffin, an invitational environment in which understanding, respecting, and
appreciating the range of positions possible on an issue, even when they differ from the
authors own, is the highest priority.
Since the goal of the writing assignment is to explore the issue of race and ethnicity on
college campuses, and not to change your audience by simply telling them how you, the
writer, feel, or persuade them to think like you, you will need to set up a different relationship with your audience than you might be familiar with from other academic writing assignments. Cindy Griffin, in her text Invitation to Public Speaking, provides three
key things to keep in mind to help you build that relationship:
The condition of equality. You see readers as holding equally valid perspectives and
positions that are worthy of exploration.
The condition of value. You recognize that readers, although their views might differ from yours, have inherent value.
The condition of self-determination. You recognize that people know what is

best for them and have the right to make choices about their lives based on this
knowledge.
This kind of relationship with your readers will allow you to start your exploration by
laying out various positions on the issue, or sharing your opinions and experiences, even
if they are tentative. Entering the issue from the position that you and your readers need
to be heard and respected by one another gives you, as the writer, many options for
exploring the issue of race and ethnicity on campus.
Objectives
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Effectively summarize a writers main points.
Demonstrate in writing how issues of race and ethnicity impact and influence your
life as a student and a citizen.
Examine your position as an individual within specific cultural groups.
Demonstrate your ability to critically consider an issue from multiple perspectives.

Use personal experience to support and illustrate your own ideas.
Select appropriate and relevant details to create a dominant impression for your
reader.
Effectively organize your responses to a text.
Rationale
Responding in this way can be an unsettling experience, but being able to imagine and
understand multiple perspectives is an important aspect of critical thinking, and one of
Kansas State Universitys Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes. Such an assignment also asks you to think through how issues such as race, class, and gender impact
your life in the academy and in the larger social realm. In fact, part of being an engaged
student and citizen is a willingness and ability to consider not only your own perspective but also the perspectives of others; this assignment will help prepare you to consider
and articulate these multiple viewpoints or angles of vision. It will also prepare you to
analyze a written text as well as your own personal experiences and beliefs. Finally, this
assignment will provide you the opportunity to practice organizing and supporting your
own ideas. Such analytical and organizational skills will prove crucial throughout your
college career and will serve you well in your life after college.
Reading Practices
There are many steps we go through as critical thinkers as we read and study a text.
One of the first steps is identifying what we understand and what we need to examine
further. Many texts will require more than one reading for the best comprehension of
ideas the author is trying to relay. The following activities ask you to practice defining
unfamiliar words, summarizing the main points of a text, and engaging the reading by
exploring your own reactions and responses.
j Key Terms
Ethnicity: Ethnic traits, background, allegiance, or association; the fact or state of
belonging to a social group that has a common national or cultural tradition.
Race: A group of persons related by common descent or heredity; anthropologyan

arbitrary classification of modern humans, sometimes, esp. formerly, based on any or a
combination of various physical characteristics, as skin color, facial form, or eye shape,
and now frequently based on such genetic markers as blood groups.
Racial: adj Arising, occurring, or existing because of differences between races or racial
attitudes: racial conflict; racial motivations.
Racism:
1. A belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that ones own
race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. A policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine;
discrimination.
Social system: The structure of social relations within a group, usually the relations
between subgroups and institutions.
Stereotype: noun Sociologya simplified and standardized conception or image
invested with special meaning and held in common by members of a group: The cowboy
and Indian are American stereotypes.
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Privilege: According to Allan Johnson, privilege refers to the exclusive and unearned
social and cultural power that some people gain at the expense of other people; white
privilege, then, refers specifically to the unearned power white people in our society
hold at the expense of people in other ethnic and racial groups; for an example, consider
Elizabeth A. Reyes article, Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? in which she describes her
experience as a Mexican-American professional in a white-dominated workplace. The
subtlety of white privilege is illustrated by the expectation that Reyes, as a member of
the Latina community, speak not only about her job, but also about her experience as a
Latina. Those who identify as white, says Reyes, are rarely (if ever) asked to discuss their
experiences as white people.
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1)
Based on the Random House Unabridged Dictionary, copyright Random House, Inc. 2006.
Activity: Word Choice

One aspect of a text that can be quite persuasive is an authors choice of words, including his or her use of figurative language, as well as allusions to significant cultural phenomena. To support a position, an authors use of words guaranteed to provoke both
emotional and intellectual responses from readers. Choosing one of the articles in the
chapter, examine the impact of word choice by answering the following questions:
1. List words you encountered in this text that are not part of your active vocabulary.
Look up the definition for these words.
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
2. Find at least five examples of words (or phrases) that provoked an emotional response.
Is your primary response to each word positive or negative? Make notes about your
emotional response to the words.
Positive
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Negative
3. How does an understanding of the meaning of one of the words listed in the previous
table affect your response to the article?
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________
jPosing Questions
When you know you are going to be responding to a reading, posing questions in the
margins or on a separate sheet of paper is a good practice. You can pose questions
directly to the author or questions that ask you to think more about issues that are being
addressed or that prompt further research on your part.
In the first three paragraphs of Should We Study White People? page 95, a student
might pose questions such as:

Could there be anything about Essigs class that causes the negative reactions before
students enter the course? The title?
Is white guilt real? Do whites feel uncomfortable with their whiteness? Is white
guilt only liberal?
What does the election of Obama mean for race in the U.S.?
j Taking Notes
Good readers use various note-taking strategies when they are reading. They may write
their notes down on a separate sheet of paper or on the margins of the reading itself.
Readers may underline main ideas or key phrases, or they may pull out quotations; they
may also pose questions and note main ideas.
The following is one example of how a reader might take notes on the first three paragraphs of Donald Rubins study Nonlanguage Factors Affecting Undergraduates Judgments of Nonnative English-Speaking Teaching Assistants, page 84.
Importantly, the reader in this example is not simply highlighting important ideas. She
is attempting, even at this stage of reading, to interact with the text, as she knows she is
going to be asked to respond to it.
Activity
As you read the articles, take notes that you can later show your instructor. You will
want to indicate the paragraph or paragraphs that you are taking notes on.
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There are laws on

International TAs.
What are KS laws?
What does it take

to be deemed
deficient? Are the
procedures tests?
Cultural training as
well as language
Look up
reciprocal. Main
point of the report?
Undergrads are part
of the problem, too.
Observers who have been even moderately sensitive to the voices of North American college students in
recent years can appreciate the depth of undergraduates concerns about the quality of instruction offered
at many campuses by nonnative English-speaking teaching assistants (NNSTAs). The NNSTA crisis is
one of relatively few instructional issues in higher education that has captured the attention of the popular
press (Hess, 1987; Verhovek, 1989). In several states, legislatures have directly intervened in policies
regarding NNSTAs (e.g., Instructors Broken English Prompts Illinois Law, 1987; Thomas and Monoson,
1991).
To the thinking of the press and of the policymakersand probably also of the undergraduate students
the root of the problem is NNSTAs poor English-language proficiency (Bailey, 1984). Accordingly,
many universities have responded by erecting procedures for screening NNSTAs language skills (see
discussions of these tests in Abraham and Plakans, 1988; Dunn and Constantinides, 1991; Gallego,
Goodwin, and Turner, 1991; Heller, 1985; Yule and Hoffman, 1990). Those deemed deficient are channeled
into remediation programs (Turitz, 1984). For the most part, these remedial workshops appear to focus
on discrete language behaviors, especially pronunciation and use of idioms (Verhovek, 1989). This
focus is not illogical, since many of the current groups of NNSTAs have had little exposure to English
as a medium of oral communication. A more recent and educationally progressive approach combines
language remediation with training in generic instructional communication skills and in cultural norms
associated with American undergraduates (e.g., Althen, 1991; Byrd, Constantinides, and Pennington,
1989; Pica, Barnes, and Finger, 1990).
The common assumption of all these perspectives on NNSTAs is that it is the internationals who bear
the onus for poor classroom communication, and therefore it is the internationals who must undergo
transformation in the North American mold. An alternative perspective, in contrast, recognizes that
communication is a reciprocal process. If communication outcomes are poor in classes taught by
NNSTAs, then perhaps the responsibility ought to be shared alike among NNSTAs and the American
undergraduate student body.
Scattered evidence warrants the plausibility of this alternative view, the view that the NNSTA problem is
at least partially a problem of undergraduates negative stereotyping. For example, Orth (1982) found that
undergraduate students ratings of their NNSTAs speaking proficiency were only weakly related to expert
ratings of the NNSTAs language proficiency. Instead, undergraduate ratings of NNSTAs were biased by
the grades they anticipated receiving from those NNSTAs.
Activity
As you read the articles, write down questions, either to the authors, to yourself, or perhaps to your own readers. These questions could express doubts that you have about the
authors points or they could be questions that you need to think about more clearly and
address in your own response.
Invitational Writing Readings

The following readings identify different ways that teachers, students, and researchers
have experienced, talked about, or examined issues of race and ethnicity on college campuses in the United States. Using the reading practices, carefully read through these
selections. You may find the following questions helpful as you think about the readings
in new ways:

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What parts of this piece surprised you? Why do you think it was a surprise? Does this
part fit with your experiences? Why? Why not?
What parts were difficult to understand? What about it was difficultreading/language? Ideas/positions? Emotions/reactions?
Do you have any experiences that relate to the issues in the piece? How do they
relate? Do your experiences complicate the ideas in the piece or simplify them?
As you were reading, what seemed to be the biggest stretch for you? What parts
were you nodding at?
Who is the audience for this piece of writing? Are you a member of that group? Why
or why not? What does the writer hope that audience will do with the information
presented? What can you do with the information?
Excerpts from Experiencing Racism

Richard Seltzer and Nicole E. Johnson
Kate was a white student at Villanova. She has never had a bad racial experience but
has had to struggle with her own thoughts.
My professor told us to think about our worst racial experience and write about it.
I have racked my memory for an intense, outraging story, but cannot think of one. I
cannot recall a horrific racial experience because for most of my life, race has never
been a big factor.
It kills me to admit that I now, after three years of college-level political science, ethics, and sociology classes, feel much more educated and well-informed about racial
issues than I did when I graduated high school. I am involved in peace and justice
organizations, and advocate for the rights of people who are oftentimes people of a
different race than me. My friends and I talk about racial reconciliation on a regular
basis. We read about it, meditate on it, and even pray about it. We hope to someday
form a Christian community in the inner city and live in an integrated society. I do
not want my children to grow up only knowing African Americans through volunteer work. I consider myself a progressive white.
With as much study as I have done on the issue of race, I have never been personally affected by it. I have never felt discriminated against because of my race. I have
rarely felt out of place because of my race, even if I was a minority in the situation. I
have never truly resented my race or another race.
Even through all my efforts in understanding the black predicament and promoting racial equality, I still find myself thinking negative thoughts about other races.
I scorn myself for thinking that way. Subconscious thoughts of white superiority
still sneak up on me, despite my efforts to curb them. This makes me feel ashamed,
and truly bothers me. I meditate on why these unfair thoughts sometimes enter my
mind, and my only answer is because I have not been exposed to very many people
of different races yet, and am too accustomed to whites having the upper hand.
I do not want to notice when I am talking to a person who is not of my race. I dont
mentally think, Oh, this person is white when I talk to most people at Villanova,
so why should I think, Oh, this person is black when I talk to an African American
person? I dont want to notice race in the way that I do now.
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Thinking about the future, I have decided that I want to live in an integrated community, send my kids to an integrated school, and worship in an integrated church.
I want to further racial reconciliation and understanding. I do not want my children
to think twice about dating or befriending a person of a different race. I pray that I
do not seek out and live in an all-white suburb just because it is easy and the norm.
I want to see no color, and if I do, I want to see a mix of colors, and not continue to
be surrounded by a dangerous blanket of white.
Derek was a white student from Villanova University. While working at a country
club as a golf caddy for a group of people, he was offended when they exhibited racist
behavior toward his fellow caddy.
I caddied at the country club near my house. I did it on a fairly regular basis, got
to know many of the members; and because I enjoyed golf so much, the job was
pretty enjoyable for me. All this led me to become a fairly decent caddy. As a result,
I quickly received the loops with the best golfers who usually paid the best money.
They were very courteous and considerate to me, took my opinion on different matters into consideration, and most importantly to me, paid me well. All the men were
successful in their occupations, well respected around the community, and very
good at golf, so in many ways I looked up to them.
I dont want to sound too dramatic, but all of this changed one morning when I was
paired with a new caddie on the other two bags. He was black and while there were
fewer black caddies, they were not uncommon at the club. For the first few holes
everything seemed normal, but it seemed as though Brandon was doing more work
than I was. I guess because I was young and stupid I assumed that Brandon was
doing more because he was new and these guys knew me. I thought it was a seniority
thing.
On the eighth hole of that round, one of the men hit a ball way to the right into a
hazard. Brandon and I stomped around the hazard with the other men, attempting
to find the ball until two of the men told me to give up and take their bags up to
their own balls. As the three of us walked to the balls, one man said to me You are
working pretty hard today, relax and let the nigger do the work, and the other man
responded with, Yeah, his ancestors are used to doing the work for us. The men
chuckled about the joke, with smiles that were so condescending and superior.
Those words hit me like someone had kicked out the back of my legs. I had in many
ways idealized these men and may have painted them in a light they could never fulfill. However, for me as a fourteen-year-old, the shock was that I had always seen racists portrayed in a negative wayas coming from a poor background, having little
education, and living in trailer parks. These men did not fit any of these stereotypes.
I just really felt foolish and disillusioned for putting these men on a pedestal and for
living in my own little world where I thought racism did not exist. After this I began
to change the groups for which I would caddy. While I did caddy for this group occasionally, I did not do it nearly as much nor did I enjoy it as much as I did in the past.
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Caroline was a white student at Middle Tennessee State University. She describes
how awkward it was when a white acquaintance inadvertently used a racist remark
in front of some black men in her apartment complex.
My worst racial experience made me very uncomfortable. It occurred last summer
while I was suntanning with my best friend at a pool. The pool is at a local apartment complex by our campus, so everyone there were college students. There were
about fifteen of us in the hot tub; two black guys that had been at the pool for about
an hour were nearby. Most of the guys in the pool are what you would call very
country-like and very loud. All of us in the pool/hot tub were white; so when the
two black guys got into the hot tub everyone noticed. It had an awkward feeling for
a moment because everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the guys, but
after a few seconds everyone continued and it was nothing unusual. One of the guys
in the hot tub has a very loud and obnoxious personality and he was having a conversation with a few of the other guys sitting next to him when out of the blue he said,
Quit acting like a nigger. He was directing it to one of his friends, but as soon as it
came out of his mouth we were all looking at him, at the two black guys, and at each
other in disbelief. All of us in the hot tub were totally silenced. As soon as my friend
fully realized what he had said he apologized to the black guys and said that he didnt
mean to use that word. The black guys just sat there looking stunned, and then one
of them said that it wasnt cool of him to use that word. I was so embarrassed and
felt so sorry for the two black guys. I didnt want them to associate me with this
friend of mine, because I am not a racist and never have used the word nigger in
any sentence or in my thoughts. The black guys accepted my friends apology after
saying choice words first. After staying another five minutes, the black guys then got
up and left. As soon as they left, we were all yelling at our friend. Not one person in
the hot tub agreed with what he jokingly had said and we were all embarrassed and
angry. I know that this isnt a very bad racial experience, but to me it was horrible
and mortifying just to be present and a witness to the incident. By simply association, I felt so ashamed for what that one shallow friend had so unthinkingly thought
and than unthinkingly blurted out.
Lynn was a black student attending Howard University. She has had a variety of
experiences that others in this book described as racist. However, she does not believe
they compare to the experiences of others in the past. Do you think she is correct?
I have experienced racism a lot in the nineteen years that I have been on this earth.
One thing I havent experienced yet is my worst racial experience. Yes, I have been
called the n word and I have been discriminated against because Im an African
American. I have come across people who thought they were superior to me because
I am a young, intelligent, African American female. Although I have experienced
these things, they arent anything compared to the racism that went on during slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. One would think that by growing up in a predominately white west suburb of Chicago (one of the most segregated ones in the
United States), that I would have plenty to tell. Well, I dont.
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Now dont get me wrong. Im not blinded. As a matter of fact, Im well aware that
the racial experiences I have had dont compare to the experiences of my parents,
my grandparents, Rosa Parks, Dr. King, Medger Evers, Malcolm X, and many more
of my African American ancestors. I feel like being called the n-word is nothing
compared to being called the n-word while being beaten. I feel like being watched
while I shop in a store is nothing compared to not having a choice about what store I
would like to shop in. By no means am I justifying the racial experiences that I have
hadIm in some way grateful for them. Im grateful for the era in which I was born
because I dont know if I would have the strength to deal with that kind of racism or
the courage to take a stand because of it.
I think one of the main reasons why I cant think of a bad racial experience is that
racism is not done in the same form. There is no doubt in my mind that racism still
exists. Its just that people arent being as bold anymore. People have realized that
there are now consequences for their actions such as serving time in jail or having
to pay money. People are not so willing to beat up a person just because they are of
another race.
Kevin was a black student attending the University of Maryland. Another black student called him white because he did not want to play basketball.
During the summer before my eighth-grade year my parents enrolled me in a summer enrichment program called F.A.M.E. The program was for minorities who were
interested in engineering. It was the first time in several years that I had sat in a
classroom where most of the students were black. I discovered that almost all the
kids in the program came from middle-class backgrounds like I did so I never felt
any difference between me and the other students. One day during our free time
period a kid came up to me and asked me if I wanted to play basketball. Even though
I liked playing basketball I was engrossed in a book I was reading at the time, and
said something like, Not really, I want to finish reading this book. The kid, who
was black, gave me a dirty look and said, Man, why you act like a white boy?
I will never forget how deeply wounded I felt when he said that to me. I remember
mumbling something to him and walking away. For the rest of the summer program
I was referred to as the white boy. I was deeply hurt because I felt that my own
people had rejected me and stripped me of my blackness. The whole issue of acting
white is harmful to the black community because it is dangerous for us to stereotype ourselves. It causes us to fill the roles of the stereotypes instead of just being
who we are. There is an interesting aspect of the acting white issue and the kid
who accused me of acting white is a perfect example of this. I would later find out
that his father was a prominent judge in the city of X. I remember my parents telling
me that his family had much more money than we did and they lived in an upperclass white neighborhood. Yet, because I would rather read a book instead of playing
basketball, this kid feels he has the right to call me a white boy? This is because the
black community has stereotyped itself. Through the different forms of the media,
blacks have defined acting black as engaging in activities like having lots of sex,
having fancy cars, and buying lots of diamond jewelry. Tragically we have classified
82
activities like reading as acting white. That is why that kid, who had a judge for a
father, feels that reading is an activity that white people do. How sad is it that by the
age of twelve that kid had learned reading was not for black people. Instead of this
kid behaving like an upper-middle class kid from his neighborhood, he is trying to
act like his favorite rapper. Black people need to be whom they truly are instead of
trying to fill the role of some stereotype.
Cary was a black student at Howard University. While she was attending a summer science program in Colorado, she had to deal with the stereotypes of the white
students.
My worst racial experience took place during the summer before my senior year in
high school. I was selected to attend an eight-week program called Frontiers of Science at the University of Northern Colorado. The program was intended for high
school students from all over the state of Colorado, who proved to have a high interest in science. During their stay, each student was to conduct and present a scientific
experiment of then choice with the help of a few college professors and graduate
students. Of the thirty-five students selected, I was the only African American and
the only person from Denver.
I remember the first day I arrived at the dorm and saw everyone else. My heart just
fell to my stomach. I was so worried about what they would think and how they
would react to me. I thought I was going to be sick the whole eight weeks.
I was very uncomfortable for the first few weeks and I stayed to myself because I felt
like I was constantly on display. The other students had never really known a black
person and they believed many of the stereotypes about black people. They were
always asking questions like, How do you guys get your hair to do that? or Do you
ever get sunburn? or Do you guys really fight all the time? I could tell that some of
them were afraid of me based on the fact that I was black. Anytime I would speak to
them or ask them a question, they would try to cater to me. They were even afraid to
have a civil debate with me.
Eventually, I got tired of being the display, so I decided to call a meeting with everyone in which I told them that, I didnt appreciate the way that most of them reacted
to me just because Im black. I didnt mean that they had to be afraid of me or treat
me any differently. I let them know that even though I grew up differently than they
had, I was still a person who obviously had something in common with them or I
would not have been selected for the program. They all apologized for their actions
and told me that they did not mean to make me feel uncomfortable but they were
curious. I could understand that and I told them that we were all mature and if they
had a question or wanted to know something, they should ask me in a respectable
manner. From then on, things got better and I was able to be more involved with
group activities. However, I could tell that they were still a little shocked at the greatness of my experiment presentation on the Further Characterization of Morphine60-D Glucuronide (M6G), but I still try not to fault them for that. I know that we all
hold certain views of different races and it is not always our own fault. I still keep in
contact with most of them through e-mail.
83
Kimberly was a white student who attended the University of Maryland. She was told
her opinion did not count in an African American literature class.
I am a white English major with a concentration in literature of the African Diaspora. I believe that I have very different experiences from other white people because
of this fact. My classes have a majority of black students, are taught by black professors, and deal with books about blackness by black authors. My worst racial experience recently occurred in one of these classes.
In one of my African American literature classes, the class was discussing two
works by Jamaica Kincaid. During the class discussion one girl said that I would
never understand the books because I am white. I wonder how it is that my opinion
is somehow invalid because I am white. If I cant understand black literature, black
art, or black people then how can they understand me?
It is this burning question that tears me apart. I will never know what it is like to be
physically black, but then how is my whiteness so easily understood, so simple?
I sat in class and I brooded. What right does she have to tell me I dont understand
because my skin is pale? The girl was from an affluent suburb in Montgomery
County, not Antigua; she had a maid in her house and she was never a slave. I hate
slavery, I hate colonialism, and I hate oppression in whatever form it takes.
So, maybe this wasnt the worst experience after all. Perhaps this was the best one, as
it forced me to really do some soul searching. j
Nonlanguage Factors Affecting Undergraduates Judgments of

Nonnative English-Speaking Teaching Assistants
Donald L. Rubin
Research in Higher Education, Vol. 33, No. 4, 1992
Observers who have been even moderately sensitive to the voices of North American college students in recent years can appreciate the depth of undergraduates
concerns about the quality of instruction offered at many campuses by nonnative
English-speaking teaching assistants (NNSTAs). The NNSTA crisis is one of relatively few instructional issues in higher education that has captured the attention
of the popular press (Hess, 1987; Verhovek, 1989). In several states, legislatures have
directly intervened in policies regarding NNSTAs (e.g., Instructors Broken English
Prompts Illinois Law, 1987; Thomas and Monoson, 1991).
To the thinking of the press and of the policymakersand probably also of the
undergraduate studentsthe root of the problem is NNSTAs poor English-language
proficiency (Bailey, 1984). Accordingly, many universities have responded by erecting procedures for screening NNSTAs language skills (see discussions of these tests
in Abraham and Plakans, 1988; Dunn and Constantinides, 1991; Gallego, Goodwin,
and Turner, 1991; Heller, 1985; Yule and Hoffman, 1990). Those deemed deficient
are channeled into remediation programs (Turitz, 1984). For the most part, these
remedial workshops appear to focus on discrete language behaviors, especially pronunciation and use of idioms (Verhovek, 1989). This focus is not illogical, since many
84
of the current groups of NNSTAs have had little exposure to English as a medium
of oral communication. A more recent and educationally progressive approach combines language remediation with training in generic instructional communication
skills and in cultural norms associated with American undergraduates (e.g., Althen,
1991; Byrd, Constantinides, and Pennington, 1989; Pica, Barnes, and Finger, 1990).
The common assumption of all these perspectives on NNSTAs is that it is the internationals who bear the onus for poor classroom communication, and therefore it is
the internationals who must undergo transformation in the North American mold.
An alternative perspective, in contrast, recognizes that communication is a reciprocal process. If communication outcomes are poor in classes taught by NNSTAs,
then perhaps the responsibility ought to be shared alike among NNSTAs and the
American undergraduate student body.
Scattered evidence warrants the plausibility of this alternative view, the view that
the NNSTA problem is at least partially a problem of undergraduates negative
stereotyping. For example, Orth (1982) found that undergraduate students ratings
of their NNSTAs speaking proficiency were only weakly related to expert ratings
of the NNSTAs language proficiency. Instead, undergraduate ratings of NNSTAs
were biased by the grades they anticipated receiving from those NNSTAs. For many
undergraduates, introductory courses in mathematics and the natural sciences have
reputations as extremely inhumane courses designed to winnow out marginal students. And it is well known that NNSTAs are disproportionately assigned responsibility for such high-anxiety classes (Constantinides, 1987). In addition, with an
increasing proportion of NNSTAs originating from East Asia (Zikopoulos, 1988),
it is likely that powerful ethnic stereotypes also factor into negative perceptions of
language proficiency and teaching ability (Brown, 1988).
This study asks undergraduates to rate Standard American English-speaking

instructors of varying ethnicity. Pronunciation training is tedious and is rarely
100 percent effective. Even the most motivated and industrious student of a foreign language is likely to retain a vestige of nonnative pronunciation. North American undergraduates apparently are not very discerning in discriminating levels of
accentedness. Therefore, it is possible that even those NNSTAs who have excelled in
pronunciation drills may still suffer a high level of stigmatization by North American undergraduates.
But what if it were possible to completely supplant a nonnative accent with Standard American English speech? Would even this unlikely achievement be sufficient
to overcome negative ethnic stereotypes and attitudes toward subject matter? The
purpose of this study is to ascertain the effects of instructor ethnicity and of lecture subject matter when the instructors actual language behavior is standard, and
therefore not culpable as the source of potentially negative student evaluations.
Methods
Participants
Undergraduates were recruited from basic speech communication classes at a large
southeastern university. They participated in this study in lieu of a required outof-class assignment. Data collected from international students were omitted from
85
analysis. Complete sets of usable data were obtained from 62 North American
undergraduates.
Procedures and Stimulus Materials
Each subject listened to a single tape-recorded speech sample lasting about four
minutes. The speech was presented as part of a lecture by a university instructor.
As subjects listened to the lecture, a slide photograph representing the instructor
was projected on a screen.
Instructor ethnicity was operationalized by projecting a photograph of either a Caucasian or an Asian (Chinese) woman. To avoid confounding ethnicity with physical attractiveness, both models were similarly dressed, were of similar size and hair
style, and were photographed in the same setting and pose (standing at a lectern
in front of a chalkboard). No differences between the NNSTAs photographs in
rated physical attractiveness were found in any uses of these photographs (although
other factors like speech topic sometimes exerted significant effects on judgments
of attractiveness).
Lecture topicphysical science or humanitieswas operationalized by using the

same two scripts as in Rubin and Smith (1990). Both scripts were adapted from articles originally appearing in the New York Times. The topics of helium scarcity and
of the Mahabarata were selected to represent science and humanities, respectively,
because it was judged that most undergraduates would have relatively little prior
knowledge about them. Both passages were edited to approximately 450 words, and
both recorded speech samples were approximately four minutes long. They were
recorded by a single speaker, a doctoral student in speech communication, a native
speaker of English raised in central Ohio, who was well regarded by her own undergraduate students for especially effective and clear classroom delivery.
Subjects were randomly assigned to one of the resulting lecture topics (at two levels) by ethnicity (at two levels) treatment combinations. Complete sets of data were
obtained from 13 participants in the Asian instructor/science topic group, 16 in the
Caucasian instructor/science topic group, 17 in the Asian instructor/humanities
topic treatment, and 16 in the Caucasian instructor/humanities topic treatment.
Measurement and Analysis
Immediately after hearing the lecture, subjects completed a cloze test of listening
comprehension. They were presented with a written text of the lecture with every
seventh word deleted, save in the first sentence, which was kept intact. Only exact
recall was scored as correct (see Bachman, 1985).
Next, subjects completed the McCroskey et al. (1975) homophily instrument. The
instrument is comprised of 16 semantic differential items. The items pose polar
opposite descriptions at either end of seven equal-appearing interval scales (e.g.,
shares my values ::::::: doesnt share my values). The items were arranged on the
questionnaire in random order and with randomly alternating polarities. The
instrument was developed to yield four subscales, each of which is comprised of four
semantic differential items: (1) attitude homophily, (2) background homophily, (3)
value homophily, and (4) appearance homophily.
86
Interspersed among the homophily items were additional semantic differential

items checking the ethnicity manipulation (Caucasian/European ethnicity :::::: Oriental/Asian ethnicity) and measuring impressions of accent (Speaks with American accent :::::: Speakers with foreign accent) and of teaching competence (Poor
teacher :::::: Effective teacher), as well as several unrelated filler scales. In all, the
instrument contained 28 semantic differential items.
Dependent variables, then, were cloze test scores, the four homophily sub-scales,
perceptions of accent, and ratings of teaching competence, as well as the manipulation check scale that registered perceptions of ethnicity.
Results
The ANOVA for the manipulation check showed that manipulated ethnicity indeed
exerted a main effect on perceived ethnicity (F1,58 = 66.91, p < .001). As expected,
the Asian instructor was perceived to be more Oriental/Asian than the Caucasian
instructor (Masian = 5.79, Mcau = 2.41). Neither the topic factor nor the interaction
between topic and ethnicity significantly affected students perceptions of instructor ethnicity.
The MANOVA indicates the only statistically significant effect to emerge was a
main effect for instructor ethnicity (Wilks Lambda7,52 = .727, equivalent F = 2.78,
p < .05).
To follow up this significant multivariate main effect, a step-wise discriminant
analysis was performed. Comprehension test score was the first variable to enter,
based on the highest pooled within-group correlation (.63) with the cannonical
discriminant function. Using comprehension test scores alone, 61.2 percent of participants could be correctly classified into groups (in this case the grouping factor
being whether they viewed an Asian instructor or a Caucasian instructor). Comprehension cell means were lower for the groups exposed to an Asian visage, and higher
for groups that saw a Caucasian instructor.
The final discriminant model also included perceived accent, entered at step 2.
Inspection of cell means shows that accent was perceived as more foreign and less
standard in the case of the Asian instructors photograph. An additional 9.8 percent of participants were correctly classified into treatment groups when perceived
accent was added to the model.
Discussion
These results provide dramatic evidence that North American undergraduates are
reacting to factors extraneous to just language proficiency when they are asked to
react to NNSTAs. In the study, only a single language variety was used: Standard
American English. Still, when they were faced with an ethnically Asian instructor,
participants responded in the direction one would expect had they been listening
to nonstandard speech. Evidence from the discriminant analysis suggests that participants stereotypically attributed accent differencesdifferences that did not exist
in truthto the instructors speech. Yet more serious, listening comprehension
appeared to be undermined simply by identifying (visually) the instructor as Asian.
87
The pessimistic conclusion warranted here is that at least among this particular
sample of undergraduates even vigorous pronunciation training for NNSTAs will
matter little. Ethnically Asian instructors who speak Standard American English
apparently confront similar dysfunctional attitudes as those who do speak with
marked nonnative accents.
Conclusion
Brislin (1981) notes that contact alone is surely not a potent enough force to change
deeply held prejudices. Instead, changing intergroup attitudes requires an environment rich in informal and pleasant contact, some degree of interpersonal intimacy
and equality, and support from the participants own reference groups. Future programs for improving undergraduate attitudes toward NNSTAs should incorporate
these elements. Still, such programs will require labor-intensive and time-intensive
efforts, and will not be practical for the sort of large-scale sensitization needed on
college campuses. Principles for engineering large-scale attitude change in this particular intercultural context have yet to be articulated, much less tested.
Assuming that positive attitudes toward NNSTAsor at least open attitudeswill

reduce attrition of NNSTA-taught classes, there are very pragmatic reasons to pursue any program that promises to improve those attitudes. According to Rubin and
Smith (1990), 42 percent of undergraduates in one sample had on at least one occasion (sometimes more) disenrolled in one way or another from classes they discovered were taught by NNSTAs. Aside from the logistical repercussions and the underutilization of teaching talent this attrition represents, the undergraduates themselves are poorly served by their decisions.
Methodologically, each of the three studies reported here follows in the tradition
of much language and attitude research by employing the matched guise technique
(Lambert et al., 1960) as a measurement device. This has the advantage of controlling for extraneous factors like speakers vocal characteristics. In other studies, the
matched guise technique also permits factorial permutations of language style with
nonlanguage factors like ethnicity (Brown, 1988; Rubin and Smith, 1990) or school
achievement or social class (Piche et al., 1977). On the other hand, the matched guise
technique is vulnerable to the criticism that it requires artificial stimuli (e.g., usually
denuded of gestural communication) and testing conditions (Robinson, 1972).
Certainly more studies are warranted in which undergraduates rate NNSTAs with
whom they have shared an entire college term of study. In one such study, elements
of NNSTAs interpersonal styles affected judged teaching competence more than
did NNSTAs measured language proficiency (Dalle and Inglis, 1989). The problem inherent in such in situ studies is thateven when ratings of North American
teaching assistants can be contrasted with NNSTA ratings (e.g., Briggs and Hofer,
1991)it is difficult to isolate elements of idiosyncratic teaching behaviors, language
proficiency, engendered stereotypes, or course difficulty that might contribute to
any differences found.
It would be useful, in addition, to gather data about undergraduates reactions to nonAsian NNSTAs. The present studies deliberately narrowed their purview to East
Asian instructors. This seems a reasonable methodological choice because of the
88
rising influx of university teachers from those particular ethnic groups. Quite possibly, the findings of these studies would not generalize to more Western NNSTAs,
say instructors from France or Germany.
Finally, it would be worth replicating these studies with more heterogenous groups
of undergraduates. Nonnative English speakers were deliberately excluded from the
sample here. It is possible that their reactions to NNSTAs are considerably different from mainstream culture North Americans. Moreover, the geographic region in
which this study was conducted has a relatively low proportion of nonnative English speakers and of Asians. These students are exposed to relatively little nonnative accented speech in their daily affairs. Furthermore, few of these students had
ever encountered a native English-speaking Asian-American instructor. No doubt
stereotypical reactions would be different among students with a greater variety of
cross-cultural experience. j
Whose Culture Is It, Anyway?

Elizabeth A. Reyes
Even with increased awareness of diversity throughout our society, we academic
professionals of color often find that our white counterparts treat us differently
from the way they do other whites.
Not long ago, I was invited to give a guest lecture on working with diverse ethnic
groups to students in a course on counseling psychology. As part of my job as multicultural coordinator at the universitys counseling center, I train counseling supervisors and provide therapy, so the lecture topic obviously fit my areas of expertise.
After my talk, the professor asked if I could share with the students something about
the development of my ethnic identity as a Latina.
I felt that I was being asked to sum up what it was like to be Mexican. Because my
presentation had not covered Latino psychology or working with the Latino population per se, I was caught off guard. I asked the professor to repeat the question, just
to give myself time to think. Was I really supposed to share, on demand, personal
experiences that had shaped me?
I found myself wondering whether one of my white colleagues would ever hear: In
the time we have left, I wonder if you could tell us a bit about when you came to grips
with your white privilege or racism?
My first thought was to observe that asking the question exemplified white privilege. But even as I searched for a more appropriate response, I knew that the question was a wake-up call about what I may expect as a professional of color. I realized
that my continuing education of others did not end last year when I left graduate
schoolanother setting in which I was one of too few voices representing diversity.
Moreover, the question alerted me once again to the deceptively benign nature of
white privilege, even in academe.
89
Because my lecture had focused on the development of racial identity, rather than
Latino values, I suspected that the professor was not asking me to talk about my
culture as much as about my experienceas a person of colorof prejudice, shame,
pain, and rage. Here was one of those cases in which members of minority groups
are not treated the same as whites, who are seldom asked to bare their souls in the
interest of educating people from a different ethnic group. Although I was taken
aback by the question, my cultural upbringing (which emphasizes respect for my
elders and authority figures) made it impossible for me to challenge the professor in
front of the students.
I felt compelled to say something, and something that I hoped the professor would
not find disrespectful. So I began with a lie, stating that of course I am happy to
share information about myself. Then I explained that such sharing can be a doubleedged sword: When only members of ethnic minorities are asked to share, it reinforces the notion that whites have no culture to share. Accordingly, I gently invited
the professor to share some personal experiences with the class as well.
For my part, I began with the story of my familys migration to the United States,
which bought me some time to think. Then I talked about how I had learned that no
matter how hard my family tried, or how equal we looked from an economic standpoint, I would often be called a spic. I described a visit I made to a friend, two weeks
after I earned my doctoral degree. When I neared the house, a stranger who was one
of my friends neighbors asked me if I was there to clean the house. I am looking for
someone to clean my house, too, she told me.
Clearly, I did not fit her model of the type of person who would live in or visit her
exclusive, gated community. As a Mexican woman, I fit her idea of a housekeeper,
not a houseguest.
I sometimes feel that racism can be like a car that zooms past and splashes you with
water from the nearest puddle, leaving your clothes soiled. Although my racist experiences were not my fault, at the end of the day, I was the one walking around with
the sullied spirit, wishing I could wipe away the stains. The perpetrator goes on his
or her way, often not even aware of having offended anyone.
As I shared my stories, I couldnt help wondering how it would change the students
perception of me as a professional. Would they feel pity or embarrassment when
they saw me again? Or would they quickly forget what I had said? Which would be
worse? I understood the professors hope that my remarks would be educational, but
it seemed to me that whatever I said could diminish my credibility and status as a
professional in the students eyes.
I left the class feeling exposed; I was also confused about how to deal with that feeling. I knew that I felt vulnerable because of what I had revealed to the students. I told
myself it was not the professors faultI could have decided to share less about my
past. But I had barely had time to think what to say. In addition I suspected that my
reaction was another facet of white privilege: People of color often react to racism by
blaming themselves for being too sensitive.
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The experience made me wonder when in the future I will be asked to share my
story with predominantly white audiences or students whom I might have to supervise. How would I seize the opportunity to educate, without making myself feel vulnerable or as if I needed to prove something?
I certainly would not want to discourage efforts to increase multicultural awareness,
but we too often expect people of color to do all the educating about diversity. In
dialogues on race relations, many whites say that they have no culture, or that they
are simply American. Too often we fail to challenge those assertions. Though we
have a growing body of literature related to white ethnic identity and white privilege,
too little of it is included in education about multicultural awareness. And beyond
the literature, white students and professors need to explore their own identities.
It is too easy to focus on the group that we see as the other instead of exploring
ourselves.
Now I need to figure out how to prepare myself for future confrontations with white
privilege. How can whites become more conscious of the impact that their actions,
comments, and assumptions have on people of color? How can we make whites
more aware of their blind spots?
Multicultural education can help enlighten professors and students by including white culture in racial dialogue: In this country, all culture and ethnicity exist
within the context of white privilege. Remember the popular metaphor of looking
out the window. We are so used to seeing what is outside that we dont notice how
the window itself shapes our perception. Multicultural awareness means refocusing
our eyes so that we see the window. Is there a windowpane? Does the glass have a
crack? Is there a screen? How do those factors influence our view of what we think
we see? In order to help students see the windows of their culture, we need to engage
white students in a dialogue about their culture, worldview, and privilege.
It would be particularly helpful if white professors shared their own journey of selfawareness with students. That openness would make fellow professionals and students of color feel less vulnerable, and it would be a valuable example for white studentsespecially if the professors described moments when they recognized their
own prejudice.
In addition, graduate schools need to teach students of color how to handle racism
both conscious and unconsciousin academe, how to educate their future white
colleagues and peers about white privilege, and how to serve as mentors for their
own students of color.
I wish the professor had asked me before class if I would be comfortable talking
about myself to the students. I continue to struggle with the question of how much
to disclose in the future. Unfortunately, that was not on the curriculum in my graduate school. j
Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? by Elizabeth A. Reyes as appeared in The Chronicle
of Higher Education, September 17, 2004. Reprinted by permission of Elizabeth
A. Reyes.
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Racism 101: Race and the College Freshman

Alana Mohamed
Maybe Im nave, but when I stepped on the campus of my New England public
university, I was dumbstruck by the whiteness of it all. I was literally the only person
of color in a sea of white people. This had never happened to me before. I grew up
in New York City and had never been to a school that was predominantly white.
As such, I was partial to the color-blind politics of the day. This is not to say that I
never experienced racism, but I was lucky enough to discount the few times I had
encountered racism as the statistical outliers of my life. However, I was surprised to
learn that my peers at university had rarely come in contact with people of color and
often times lacked any sort of tact when dealing with people of color. After revealing
that my last name is Mohamed, the questions and comments that followed without
fail went something like: A) You dont look Muslim! Are you religious? B) Is your
familyyknow, religious? C) (A look of relief when I revealed that, no, they arent
that religious) Oh! Good, cause I know how crazy they can be. My friends at other
universities felt the same alienation and we started to really pay attention to the racism surrounding us.
Most of my class and dorm mates were white, middle class kids who lived in small,
predominantly white towns. As a light skinned Guyanese-American woman, they
found me hard to peg and I was privy to my share of racist jokes. Once, during
Black History Month, our dining hall happened to be serving fried chicken and
watermelon, in addition to numerous other options. A girl on my floor dim wittedly
cracked, What a way to celebrate Black History Month! Half the room shared an
uneasy silence, while the other erupted into laughter. I was shocked into silence and,
looking back, I wish I could have said something. Since then, Ive found that dealing with racist jokes is best handled by playing dumb. A simple, I dont get it, and
a couple of leading questions will encourage them to try and explain their joke and
help them realize that relying on tired and racist stereotypes isnt funny or clever in
the least.
Ive also encountered a very common situation: People saying racist things, but not
realizing, or refusing to acknowledge that theyre racist. The most bizarre example
of this occurred as a group of friends and I were walking back from a party. Shortly
after chastising someone for using the word Jiggaboo to describe his black friends
back home, my roommate and another girl began to discuss the physical differences
between white people and black people. A snippet of the conversation? And why
does their hair do that? Like, why is it like that? Its like theyre a whole different species! They kind of, here she lowered her voice, look like animals a little. I shared a
look with another friend and simply said, Whoa, Im not even gonna participate in
this conversation. However, my roommate and the girl she was talking to still didnt
understand why what they said was offensive.
In this case, I was too tired and too overwhelmed to say anything else. I still get
overwhelmed every time I think about this scenario because I cant possibly conceive how they would think such banter is acceptable. I wish I had asked them why
they think its okay to liken black people to animals and expand from there. Engaging them in a conversation would have helped me to sort out my own thoughts,
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while helping them to understand the underlying racism in their statements, but at
the time I felt too emotional to understand that this could have been a key moment
for dialogue, or, at the very least, a witty retort.
The scariest sort of situation was dealing with hostile, purposeful racism. At the
beginning of the year, when people didnt know I had a Muslim last name, or that my
father was Muslim, I heard a student loudly decry, Fucking Muslim scum, fucking
ruining our country. Motherfuckers, at a party further down my hall. I also heard
cheers, egging him on. I was in my room at the time and couldnt see who had said
it. And quite frankly, I was too terrified to go see. When it comes to direct confrontations, I draw the line at putting myself in dangerous situations. I wish I would
have told my RA, but I was too scared of stirring up trouble so early in the year. As
a consequence, I often felt unsafe and alienated from many of the kids on my floor.
My first year of college went badly because I was often made to feel like the Other.
I suffered most of it in silence because I was lucky enough to have this all be a new
experience for me. But silence is rarely the way to handle racism. Earlier this year,
Alexandria Wallaces rant against Asians at her school shocked YouTube viewers.
The media was quick to demonize her and use her as a figurehead to purport Americas supposed color-blind agenda. But how can we act so shocked when the same
things Wallace said are repeated amongst friends just sharing a joke all the time
on supposedly liberal college campuses? Wallace was surrounded by a culture that
encouraged racism. I imagine the UCLA campus is probably ripe with racist jokes
about Asians that go unchecked.
This fall, Ill be attending a college in a more culturally diverse neighborhood in my

hometown of New York City. But as the back-to-school-shopping ads start to filter
in, I cant help but wonder if there will ever be an escape from the racism touted by
the ironic white teens that fill many of todays college campuses at overwhelming
majorities. j
Racism 101: Race and the College Freshman by Alana Mohamed, as appeared in
Racialicious. July 27, 2011. www.racialicious.com.
Cyber Racism on College Campuses

Jessie Daniels
Racism on college campuses these days often spreads through email or via popular
social networking sites, such as Facebook. This new medium for racist expression is
forcing universities to reconsider what it means to provide a safe space on campus for
all students. My research on cyber racism indicates that this is a growing problem in the
U.S., and a recent incident at the University of MinnesotaDuluth (UMD) illustrates a
few of the relevant issues.
Heres what happened at UMD. Two first year students, self-described white girls,
began a Facebook wall conversation after an African-American classmate entered
the room where they were studying. More on what they typed to each other via the
local news in Duluth:
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One of the posts read, ewww a obabacare (sic) is in the room, i feel dirty, and
unsafe. keep a eye on all of your valuables and dont make direct eye contact.
ijust threw up in my mouth right now
In another post, one of the women wrote, were two white girlsshe already has
her (N-word) instinct to kill us and use us to her pleasure
In the past, this sort of conversation between two white students might have happened in handwritten notes passed in class. While some may view such overt
expressions of racism a thing of the past, overtly racist comments often occureven
todayin the backstage (white-only space), as research by Leslie Pouts-Hicca and
Joe Feagin demonstrates. Social media has changed all that now. As more white
people spend time online, they forget that the comments they think theyre making in the backstage (white-only spaces) are easily made public and shared in the
frontstage by people who do not share their views (or, have other agendas). As
more of these expressions of overt racism come to light, it forces all of us to decide
again and again what is socially acceptable and what isnt, especially on college campuses. The question for colleges and universities is also what can and should be done
about incidents like this one?
Many people, like the young man quoted in this article, think that: If you really
do believe in free speech, they shouldnt be punished. But free speech is not that
simple. There are a couple of issues here.
First, the UMD has an anti-hate policy, which the white girls clearly violated.
Second, the framers of the U.S. Constitution didnt have Facebook in mind when
they were drafting the First Amendment to protect free speech. No one has a constitutionally protected right to be on Facebook. If you use Facebook, you have to abide
by their Terms of Service (TOS) agreement which prohibits overtly racist speech
(although its only sporadically enforced). If weall of us, users of Facebookallow
it there, were condoning a return to overt racism of Jim Crow.
In my view, the white girls at UMD who racially harassed their African American
classmate deserve some kind of punishment from the university. To address this
sort of behavior, I want to suggest that human rights is a better, more useful frame
for dealing with cyber racism than censorship and free speech.
There are no reports that Ive been able to find (interesting fact in itself) about what
the African American student who was the target of this racism has to say. Ill bet
that her experience of college life (+ life in general) has been damaged in some way
by this run-in with her two white friends. At the very least, she has a new awareness of that her college campus is just a little less safe from racism than it was
before. In some ways, its not surprising that this African American students story
is not being reported. As critical race scholars have pointed out, the victims story
is almost never told. Our understanding of free speech shifts when we listen to
these stories.
In 2003, the Supreme Court of the U.S. ruled that a burning cross is *NOT* protected
speech (Virginia v. Black). Part of that ruling declared that a burning cross has no
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value in a democracy because it is not meant to be a discussion, but its a symbol

meant to racially terrorize a group of people. (Today, 14 states have anti-cross burning laws.) So, not all speech counts as protected speech, and the Supreme Court
has already ruled that racist speech in the form of a burning cross, can be ruled illegal. Given the rise of social media, the question becomes: what constitutes a burning
cross in the digital era?
I think what those white girls did on FB was akin to cross burning in the digital era.
That kind of speech is harmful and it has no value for democracy.
There are real, material consequences from racism. Children who experience racial
discrimination feel psychological stress that may lead to depression. Likewise, there
are real, material consequences from actions that seem to be exclusively digital. The
tragic case of Phoebe Prince, who was harassed online and offline (and called an
Irish slut) and then took her own life is a case in point. Perhaps not surprisingly,
minority college students report more experiences of online bias than do whites.
Yet, whites like these two white college students at UMD, say overtly racist [things]
online and very few step up to challenge them because of misplaced belief in what
kind of speech the First Amendment protects. Americans are quick to say free
speech (1st amendment) is an ideal that trumps equal protection under the law
(14th amendment), but most other democracies see speech and equal protection
as two values that always need to be balanced against each other. I discuss this
argument at length in my book Cyber Racismwhich I wrote in many ways as challenge to (white) liberal friends who often seem hamstrung by misunderstandings of
the first amendment and free speech. The solution is not to abandon free speech as
principle, but to shift the discussion to a consideration for how we balance the 1st
and 14th amendments, balance between free speech and equal protection.
Given this re-framing of free speech, it seems clear to me that a college campus
should be a place where we want to protect all of our students from the intentional
infliction of emotional distress at the same time we encourage a lively exchange of
ideas. j
Cyber Racism on College Campuses by Jessie Daniels, as appeared in Race-Talk.
May 4, 2010. www.race-talk.org.
Should We Study White People?

Laurie Essig
This semester I am teaching a new (for me) course: White People. The course
considers the historical formation of whiteness as well as its current cultural and
economic manifestations. For me, teaching white people is an obvious way to work
through some of the key issues of critical race studies: How did our current racial
categories form and under what conditions? How are these racial categories intertwined with one another? How does race depend on class, gender, sexuality and
often geographic location to make sense?
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Of course, when you teach a course called White People, you are bound to take
some teasing. Someone suggested that its a course to paint white people as bad.
Another friend said Im just trying to relieve my liberal white guilt. But I reject both
the claim that all white people are the same and the claim that to critically examine
ones racial position is motivated by guilt rather than the sociological imagination.
To me, the question that motivates white studies is the same as the question that
motivates sociology: How does social power operate in our everyday lives?
But according to Alex P. Kellogg, who wrote a piece at CNN last week called Has
whiteness studies run its course at US colleges? my new course may already be
DOA. Thats because, according to Kellogg, most college students believe we live in
a post racial America and

the election of Obama represents the culmination of decades of racial progress,

they say.
Kellogg summarizes the field as one that is fundamentally out of sync with the
way college students, including students of color, see this postracial America, since
whiteness studies

argues that white privilege still exists, thanks largely to structural and institutional racism, and that the playing field isnt level, and whites benefit from it.
That is hardly the white studies field I know. White studies, like critical race studies more generally, actually offers a far more nuanced notion of power and how it
operates than whites are bad. Indeed, critical race studies has been able to weave
together the various strands of the hairball that is social power so that race is always
considered as entangled with class, sexuality, gender, the body, geography, and more.
White studies is able to show the historical formation of whiteness as a racial category that has always been embedded with things like class, gender and sexuality (one
need only think of the figure of the white lady alongside the figure of white trash).
As such, white studies is hardly a simplistic and didactic lesson in racial privilege
(although surely it can also explain the privileging of certain forms of whiteness).
On the one hand, I am disturbed by Kelloggs claim that teaching whiteness is equivalent to pointing out white privilege. But as disturbing as I found Kelloggs description of white studies, I found the comments to his article even more disturbing.
Consider these:

Let whites keep busy on the work of science and technology, advancing the human
species. No! We must degrade whites and tell them they are racists and show no
appreciation for what they are and have done for humanity. Does demeaning of
whites help the cause of human progress?
and this:

Whiteness studies are a product of a genocidal anti-white regime. Anti-racist is

a code word for anti-white.
Indeed, reading the responses to Kelloggs article is a reminder of how much resistance there is among those marked as white to even acknowledge that they have
a racial position in the world, let alone a privileged one. How often have I had to
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tell white students that they must discuss race in their papers only to have them
respond but there is no race. Everyone Im studying is white.
If nothing else, this response is compelling evidence that white studies has hardly
run its course. If anything, white studies has merely been absorbed into other
coursesrather like much of gender studies hasso that any course that attempts
to unravel social power is forced to deal with the race/class/gender/sexuality hairball
that by definition involves both white privilege and white abjection.
Should We Study White People? by Laurie Essig, as appeared in The Chronicle of
Higher Education. February 6, 2012. j
Writing a Summary
Before you get too far in thinking about your Invitational Writing, it is important to
be able to accurately and objectively summarize the authors ideas. Summarizing is an
essential academic task in research writing. Summary writing allows you to demonstrate
your understanding of a text, and it is often important to include a summary that provides context for your interaction with the texts ideas.
It is difficult to write an accurate, thorough summary by merely skimming an article and
jotting down a few remembered main ideas. Your memory might be faulty; additionally,
you might inadvertently plagiarize the authors words. In order to avoid such problems,
we offer says and does statements as a useful strategy for summary writing. This
method of analysis is borrowed from Kenneth Bruffees A Short Course in Writing. The
method can be used to help you better understand something you are reading, help you
in planning your writing, or help you in analyzing your own writing.
j Introducing Says and Does Statements

Says
Says statements are just that. They answer the question: what is the paragraph saying? What is its main point? Boil down the meaning of the paragraph to its essence, its
main idea, its gist. Do not simply paraphrase the paragraph. These says statements
are more general than the original paragraphs, omitting specific details such as the
authors supporting details (sometimes called particulars). These statements should be
no longer than one or two sentences. Occasionally, however, when summarizing a short
paragraph (such as those in an editorial or news article), you may find that your says
statement is longer than the original paragraph.
Does
Does statements answer the question: what is the paragraph doing? These statements
are related to the paragraphs function in the text as a whole, including how its related
to the paragraphs around it. Does statements, then, do not include information on the
content of the paragraph. For instance, a typical does statement might look like this:
Paragraph 1 introduces the topic and provides some background information. These
statements help you understand how the paragraph is structured, as well as how the
writer is supporting (or failing to support) his/her points.
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How Says and Does Statements Are Different

The major distinction between says and does is that says statements are directly
related to a paragraphs meaning, but does statements are related to a paragraphs function. A says statement will relate to the topic of the article.
On the other hand, since does statements describe a paragraphs function, they are
not specifically related to the topic of the text being considered. In fact, if your does
statement includes anything about the texts subject, you need to try again. Instead of
summarizing a paragraphs point (as says statements do), does statements can be
applied to other similar kinds of paragraphs in similar kinds of texts. The functions of
a paragraph are categorizable, and you should be able to discover some of these possible
functions from the following list. Does statements usually begin with verbs and verb
phrases.
Here is a sampling of the terms useful for determining what a paragraph does:
introduces topic
provides background
explains a complex issue
provides an example in support of claim/subclaim
presents a subclaim
quotes an expert in support of claim/subclaim
provides a transition
summarizes an argument of the opposition
forecasts the structure of the essay
presents a claim
rebuts an argument of the opposition
provides a definition
provides clarification
provides a call to action
This list is not comprehensive, but other phrases used should follow this format, focusing
on a paragraphs function rather than its meaning.
j What Comes Next after Says and Does?

To write an effective summary, you must first be a good reader in analyzing both the
structure and content of a text. Coming up with says and does statements is a good
first step toward understanding a texts main points, as well as understanding its structure. Summarizing a text, however, asks you to think beyond individual paragraphs
discovering how the individual paragraphs work together to present a texts claims and
sub-claims.
A challenging aspect of summary writing, then, is to identify how the sub-claims work
together with the main claim throughout the text itselfregardless of the paragraph
orderand then accurately represent those ideas in 100250 words. Thus, your summary should not replicate the exact order of the original text, but should instead mirror
the main ideas. You have already done the mental work of figuring out those main ideas
with your says and does statements; now you must use your own words to retell
those ideas.
When retelling those ideas, your summary will probably need to follow a different organization than that of the original text, and youll want to avoid falling into the and then
she said trap. Instead, a summary needs to present the main idea of the text first (usually within the first few sentences) and generally does not include details, unless they
are integral to the texts meaning. Finally, a summary is objective; save your personal
thoughts and ideas for the discussion section of your essay.
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Activity: Says/Does
For difficult paragraphs in the reading, use says and does statements to help summarize.
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
Paragraph #:
Says:
Does:
j Points and Particulars

When you are writing a summary and trying to figure out what the authors main points
are, it is important to know the difference between the authors main points and his or
her particulars. The main points are the writers main theses, claims, or arguments.
The particulars are the evidence and research that the author uses, which may include
examples, definitions, observations, personal experiences, statistics, or other research
sources.
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In most closed-form academic writing in the United States, the points are usually closely
connected to the particulars. The author will most often introduce the particularsan
example or quotationand may even indicate how these particulars are relevant to the
point he or she is making.
Here is a chart of some points and particulars from the article, Whose Culture Is It
Anyway? by Elizabeth Reyes.
Main Point
Particular
Professors of color are treated differently than

white professors.
Examples of her own experience as a professor.
Multicultural education needs to include white

culture in racial dialogue.
Metaphor of looking out a window.
j 25-Word Summary
One excellent way to understand the overall main point of an articlethe authors main
thesis or argumentis to write a mini-summary. This allows you to focus on what the
author is most concerned about. As you only have 25 words to spare, make sure that you
include only the authors main point. You can use this as a stepping stone to your larger
summary. Remember, you need to use exactly 25 words.
j General Guidelines for Writing a Summary

Remember that a summary is generally only 100250 words, so youll want to write
clearly and pay close attention to your word choice.
Always write in present tense, and make it clear that you are summarizing the work of
another author by first introducing the author and text, and then by using attributive
tags and phrases (remembering that you should never refer to an author by first name
alone):
The article goes on to claim that

She provides an example
Wise concludes with
Jensen argues for
Make sure you represent the authors ideas completely, accurately, and fairly:
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If you dont yet understand the text youre summarizing, take the time to reread and
revisit your says and does statements; then put those notes away and write in your
own words.
Your writing should reflect an objective and neutral tone. By paying careful attention
to word choice, you will be able to keep your own judgment out of the summary.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Summary
Please read carefully through the entire summary before you begin answering the workshop questions.
1. In your opinion, has the writer misunderstood any claims from the original in his or
her summary? If so, discuss these potential misunderstandings with the writer.
2. Is the summary complete (does it cover all of the original texts main ideas and any
important sub-claims)? If it is complete, explain why you think so; if not, please share
with the writer what you think is missing. Remember that a reader who is not familiar with the original text should be able to understand the gist of the text from this
summary.
3. Is the summary both accurate and fair? If it is, point out one or two examples for the
writer to know whats working; if not, underline any phrases that need to be more
carefully paraphrased.
4. Does the writer appropriately organize the summary? Are the most important claims
presented first? Does the writer need to delete unnecessary details?
5. Overall, does the writer make it clear whose ideas are being represented? Identify any
places that need introduction or attribution.
6. Lastly, read the summary once more for style: does the writer use present tense? Is
the writer clear in his or her presentation of the articles ideas? Is the original material
properly documented?
4
4
4
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Invention Activities: With and Against the Grain

Reading both with and against the grain of a text is a way of reading that encourages
critical and considered thinking rather than knee-jerk or gut reactions. Being able to
do both helps readers better understand multiple perspectives on an issue; additionally,
it helps readers to be more aware of the sources of these perspectiveswhy they and
others think the way they do. Educated people need to be able to understand the logic
of a claim, even when (perhaps especially when) they do not agree with the point being
made. Too often, public discourse disintegrates to the mindless name-calling by talking heads on various news programs. Conversely, reading (and listening) both with and
against the grain can allow more meaningful dialogue.
This exercise of responding as a believer and as a doubter can also be useful in more
immediately practical ways. For example, imagine that your roommate is trying to choose
a major. As a friend, you want to help with the decision-making process. As you try to
help your friend decide whether or not to major in agricultural economics (for example),
this strategy of thinking can be quite useful. As you listen/respond with the grain, you
might mention various examples of people you know who, having majored in this field,
have found fulfilling jobs. You might also give some information from a USA Today poll
forecasting a tremendous number of jobs available in this area during the next decade.
While listening/responding against the grain, you might ask your friend about his low
grades in some of the courses required for this major. You might also mention someone
you know who was able to find a job in this area despite having majored in something else.
Its important to remember that reading with the grain is more than simply agreeing
with the author, and reading against the grain is more than simply disagreeing with the
author. It can be difficult or threatening to try to see the validity of a line of reasoning
with which you disagree, but being able to explore the ambiguity of difficult issues is
invaluable in your journey to become an engaged critical thinker.
Reading With the Grain
Try to see the world through the authors eyes, reading as a believer. Dont falsify your
position, but try to find some common ground.
Even if this authors position is contradictory to your own, consider whether there
are people other than yourself for whom this claim would be valid. Remember that
they might not simply be wrong, but instead may have different experiences or reasons that influence their perspective and angle of vision.
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Find examples from your experience that support the authors points.
Consult sources the author mentions to provide a broader context for his/her discussion. Bring in more detail from these sources in support.
Establish reasons supporting the authors position.

Uncover the authors underlying assumptionsin a respectful, believing way.
Elaborate further on some of the authors points, perhaps in new ways.
Even if adequate explanation is missing, fill in the gaps, making the authors claims
make sense.
Reading Against the Grain

Even if you agree with the authors position, imagine alternative perspectives or positions that may complicate or challenge the authors point.
Even if this authors position is similar to your own, consider why it might be flawed
in some contexts. Are there people other than yourself for whom these ideas would
not be valid?
Consider other potential perspectives or angles of vision. Can you imagine contexts,
reasons, or experiences that could contribute to a different perspective?
Present examples that illustrate a different perspective on the authors idea.

Present alternative lines of thinking.
Try to find gaps in the authors discussion.
Ask questions about the authors position.
Ask questions about the authors definition of terms.
Talk to people who have had experiences which might contradict the authors points.
Ask questions about the implications of the authors position.
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Activity
Use the remaining space below to make notes for your With the Grain and Against the
Grain responses.
With the Grain
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Against the Grain
jPutting It All Together: Synthesis

With so many ideas, perspectives, and experiences to inform your exploration on race,
it is important to indicate to your readers how the points you are discussing relate to
each other. What connections do you see between the readings? Have those connections
added to your understanding of the issue, or changed your own thinking? Encountering
many perspectives can be overwhelming, but when we start to see relationships between
texts, we can start to explore how the perspectives in the readings influence our own
thinking and perhaps lead to new ideas and questions on the issue.
Using two or more readings from this unit, make connections between the articles. Use
the questions below to help you.

How are the main points of the readings similar or different?
How different or similar are the audiences of the readings or how the authors attempt
to reach these audiences?
What are the main problems or controversies that these readings are responding to?
Are these problems the same? Different? How?
Are there any differences in the assumptions that the authors make in these different
readings? Any differences in their values and beliefs?
Do you find one of the readings more interesting or more credible than the other?
Why do you think that is so?
Have these readings changed your thinking about an issue? If so, in what way? If they
havent changed your perspective about something, why do you think that is?
What new perspective or idea comes out of relating these readings? What is something new that you can say?
For your readers who have read only one of the articles that you are synthesizing,
what do you think they will find surprising or interesting about the connections that
you are making?
jInvitational Writing Sample: What Can We Expect

Universities to Do?
The following sample shows the first two paragraphs of a rough draft of the invitational
writing assignment. Consider the ways that the writer is using the readings from this
unit. Also, try to think of some of the directions that this writer could go.
What Can We Expect Universities to Do?
Unfortunately, I am afraid that this draft will pose many questions and show my rather
clumsy attempts to grapple with what universities, colleges, and other public institutions
can do when it comes to the subtle moments of racism and harassment that appear in
Donald Rubins empirical study, Alana Mohameds Racism 101, as well as the report,
Cyber Racism on College Campuses. The point I am interested in exploring is the
extent to which institutions can involve themselves in the messy, contradictory, and
ephemeral incidents of racism and harassment that may occur on college campuses every
single day. What can universities do, for example, to deal with the negative stereotypes
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and dysfunctional and deeply ingrained attitudes that students hold when evaluating their non-English speaking Graduate Teaching Assistantsespecially when they are
angry about their grades? (Rubins). How can they counteract the jokes, chatter, comments, and behavior that a single student like Mohamed felt that she had to counteract;
importantly, these were experiences that drove her to attend a new university where she
felt more comfortable. Or, what can administrators do in order to police the racist language that white students might use when texting and messaging each other?
Certainly, I can see the policing role that universities can take when it comes to explicit
and obvious cases of racial slurs and harassment. Our Kansas State University policies,
for example, clearly cover such acts of racial harassment. The 20112012 Undergraduate Catalogue states clearly that K-State prohibits harassment due to race, color, ethnic
or national origin, sex, sexual orientation, gender identity, religion, age, ancestry, [and]
disability that interferes with a students learning or living experience and creates an
intimidating, hostile, or offensive work or educational environment for the person. In
cases in which there are obvious victims, documented evidence of hateful and harassing speech, and perpetrators with clear intentions, this type of policy has a powerful
institutional authority, one that can protect students and expel others from the K-State
community who have clearly stepped over what represents reasonable behavior. Yet,
how about the experiences and examples that Rubins, Mohamed, and the writers of the
Cyber Racism report point to? Would any of these be included under K-States harassment policy? And, although there certainly are victims, how clearly can we define the
perpetrators and get a sense of their intentions?
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Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Reader #1: _________________________________

1. Do you understand the main point or purpose of the text(s) to
which your classmate is responding?
Yes
Sort of
No
2. Does the summary provide you with enough information so that

you understand the main points of the issue?
Yes
Sort of
No
3. Is your classmates discussion clear? Is the main idea apparent?
Yes
Sort of
No
4. Does your classmate offer points that agree, disagree, complicate, Yes
qualify, and/or make additional connections to the original text(s)?
Sort of
No
5. Does your classmate provide evidence, examples, and details from Yes
his or her own experience to support his or her points fully?
Sort of
No
6. Does the discussion have any significance? Does your classmate

indicate why this issue is an important one?
Sort of
No
Yes
4
4
4
For any areas that you checked Sort of, or No, please provide some comments here as to how your classmate
could revise:
4
4
4
4
107
Reader #2: _________________________________

Write down what you see as the major strengths in the summary and response. Then,
write down what you see as the major points of revision that your classmate should
consider.
108
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
When submitting your response essay, be sure to include:
Your summary of the original text.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Summary
PurposeProvides readers with the main
point of the original text; treats the authors
meaning and intentions fairly; demonstrates
understanding of original text and issue; provides adequate background.
OrganizationProvides audience with appropriate points from original text; organizes
points in a logical way; uses attributive tags.
Discussion
PurposeClear main point; clear discussion;
clear contribution to larger conversation.
SignificanceDiscussion relates to the
overall issue and moves the discourse on the
subject forward.
DevelopmentProvides readers with enough
explanation, detail, examples, research, and
evidence to support points.
OrganizationIs easy to follow; refers to
the authors points to refresh your readers
memory; clearly marks different points with
transitions.
ToneProvides consistent tone.
ProofreadingFew distracting sentencelevel problems, spelling mistakes, etc. Meets
the basic formatting requirements.
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Notes:
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CHAPTER 5
Informative Writing
The informative report asks you to research an interesting topic related to this courses
focus on communities and identities. Your topic itself will therefore need to connect
in some way to identity issues such as race, class, gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
able-bodiedness, age, or geographic region. Additionally, you will direct your topic to a
local community who will find this information new, surprising, and informative. Your
instructor might ask you to identify a relevant K-State audience, or perhaps one from
your home community.
This assignment will develop your abilities to find and evaluate research sources and to
organize information for a specific audience. You may want to search the KSU website to
find a university administrator, student organization, or another campus group to write
to. You may also think about writing to incoming students, or even area high schools.
You will use invention strategies to determine what information will be new and surprising (as well as important, useful, and informative) for your chosen audience, and you will
learn more about your topic by researching it and organizing the information to meet
the needs and interests of your audience. Youll need to be very clear and specific about
your intended audience in order to think through what information they will find new,
surprising, and useful. Finally, you will be using a professional report format to convey
your information to your audience.
As this class is focused on informative writing, your primary goal is not to persuade
your audience to take a particular action; instead, you are providing new and surprising
information that you believe will be useful for your audience. It might help them to make
a more informed decision about a policy or practice, but you are not suggesting a policy
or practice change. Imagine, then, that your audience has asked you to compile relevant
information on this topic so that they can make their own decision. Think of your report
as a document that will allow your audience to get a good overview of the topic or pursue
additional research in the future. Remember, too, that this needs to be information that
the audience does not already have.
5
5
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CHAPTER 5 Informative Writing
In your report, then, you might clear up a misconception your readers have or inform
them about an aspect of the topic they might not have considered. For example, you
might investigate some of the concerns that students from small rural communities have
when navigating a larger campus and city, or that students from coastal areas have in
adapting to a living in a landlocked state. Or you might inform incoming students about
the economic costs of joining a sorority or fraternity so they can decide whether or not
they can afford to pledge. Or maybe you want to research the number of students in
mainstream high school classrooms with learning disabilities and connect it to the kinds
of training education majors receive in teaching students with disabilities. Keep in mind,
though, that this information needs to be new and surprising for your audience, so you
will also need to determine the knowledge needs of your intended audience.
As this is a researched piece, you will need to use outside sources that you will summarize, explain, evaluate, and connect to your audiences needs. These sources need to
be credible, appropriate, and also integral to your report. Your instructor will determine
how many sources are required, as well as the kinds of research you should consider.
You might consider, however, a variety of research, including more traditional text-based
research (books, articles, newspapers, journals, websites), as well as field research and
interviews. Whatever kind of research you use, it needs to be appropriate and useful for
your topic.
Finally, as this is a professional report, you will want to use section headers to help you
organize your report and to help a reader navigate your information.
Objectives
Narrow a topic to one that is manageable and researchable for a given genre and
purpose.
Identify a topic and information that is both relevant and significant to a particular
audience.
Identify an audience and create a rationale for why this audience would have some
interest in a selected topic.
Research an issue related to communities and identities using integral, appropriate,
relevant resources.
Evaluate the appropriateness and credibility of research sources.
Understand, synthesize, and paraphrase source material correctly.
Properly and smoothly integrate outside sources into your own writing.
Apply the basic principles of MLA format.
Construct a properly formatted MLA works cited page.
Rationale
This assignment relates directly to several of the Undergraduate Student Learning Outcomes at K-State, including knowledge, diversity, communication, and academic and
professional integrity. Most importantly, this writing task asks you to pay attention to
your readers and to figure out how your topic is significant to them. In English 200, as
112
well as other classes that demand serious academic writing, you will be expected to write
for different audiences, evaluate the credibility and suitability of research sources, and
find effective ways to organize and integrate these sources.
Research Focus #1: Gender and the University

The following article is adapted from Linda Saxs The Gender Gap in College: Maximizing the Developmental Potential of Women and Men. The gender gap refers to the fact
that in the United States more women than men are now enrolled in colleges and universities and that women are performing better academically.
When you read this article, read it with the eye of a researcher and be able to respond to
the following questions:
What findings does Sax bring up that you find the most surprising?
How do Saxs findings reflect your own experiences?
What are some possible consequences for male and female students? Additionally,
what are the consequences for professors and administrators at universities in the
United States?
What research questions or ideas can you get from Saxs article?
What audiences at K-State would be interested in these gender issues?
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Her College Experience Is Not His

Linda Sax
At a time when national attention is focused on the relative numbers of women
and men on college campuses, little is known about the characteristics of the two
genders and how aspects of college further shape those characteristics. The popular
messages are oversimplified: Gender equity has been achieved, women are an academic success story, and men are experiencing an educational crisis.
Each of those messages has some truth, but they tend to convey the status of women
and men as a zero-sum game: If one gender is succeeding, the other must be failing. The reality is that both genders face obstacles and challenges in their pursuit of
higher education, and we need a deeper understanding of the nuances and implications of the gender gap in college.
As a scholar in gender issues, I have studied survey responses of more than eight
million students who participated over the past four decades in the freshman survey
of the Cooperative Institutional Research Program at the University of California at
Los Angeles. I have also examined longitudinal information obtained by the College Student Survey of students who entered college in 1994 and were followed up
in 1998. Such data has enabled me to assess how gender shapes the characteristics
of women and men entering college, how both genders experience college, and how
college influences them. And I have found that women and men differ significantly
from each otherand in ways that raise many questions for further research:
Connection to family. It has largely been assumed that leaving home is equally
important for both genders, but we have found that it may be especially beneficial
for female students, who develop greater scholarly confidence, stronger leadership
skills, and a healthy sense of emotional well-being. For men, whether they live close
to home or thousands of miles away is less relevant.
Today, however, students and parents stay in frequent contact with each other. The
challenge facing colleges is how to encourage women to develop a healthy sense of
independence at the same time that they stay connected to their parents.
Questions for future research: Do women turn to their families because of academic
or social difficulties? Does their dependence on their families inhibit their personal
and academic development? How do the type and frequency of student-parent communications relate to students personal, academic, and social development?
Student-faculty interactions. Gender differences fall into three main categories. First, while interactions with faculty members encourage liberalism, political
engagement, and a commitment to social activism among all students, we generally
find that the more time men spend engaged in one-on-one interactions with faculty
members, the more liberal they become in their political views and the greater concern they develop about race relations and the welfare of the larger society.
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Second, men who work with faculty members on research or receive advice, encouragement, and support from them hold more egalitarian views on gender roles. They
become less supportive of the notion that the activities of married women are best
confined to the home and family. For women, the opposite is true: Those who spend
more time with faculty members, especially in the context of research, become more
committed to traditional gender roles.
A third theme relates to professors influence on womens sense of confidence and

well-being. Feeling dismissed by faculty members in the classroom has negative
consequences for womens long-term academic aspirations, confidence in math, and
even physical health.
Faculty members would benefit from a better understanding of the implications of
their actions for students. They need to recognize that even when they believe they
are treating male and female students the same way, the two genders may internalize those interactions differently.
Questions for future research: Does the nature of student-faculty interactions depend
on where those interactions take placein the classroom, a faculty office, a research
lab, or elsewhere? Why and how do research experiences influence students gender-role attitudes? What sorts of messages do professors sendintentionally or
notregarding womens social roles? What specific faculty actions lead women to
feel they are not being taken seriously? What are effective strategies for promoting
healthier student-faculty relations and for promoting safe spaces in the classroom?
How does all this depend on the faculty members gender?
Presence of female faculty members. It is often stated that female students benefit
from greater numbers of women on college facultiesand, in fact, attending institutions with more female professors strengthens female students scholarly confidence, motivation to achieve, and grade-point average. Yet the presence of female
professors appears to bring a broader range of benefits to male students, including
gains in mathematical confidence, scientific orientation, leadership ability, and emotional well-being. An obvious implication of those findings would be for colleges
to hire more female faculty members. That could be an opportunity to shape the
academic climate, as female faculty members have been shown to be generally more
concerned than male faculty members with students emotional development, character development, and self-understanding.
Questions for future research: Could the trend of males benefiting more from the
presence of female faculty members result from such professors treating their male
students more favorably than their female students? Or, taking another perspective,
might the developmental benefits accrued to men result from having less exposure
to male faculty members? Are these findings due to a larger climate shift that occurs
when an institution employs more female faculty members? In other words, how
does the representation of female faculty members shape the culture of departments
and institutions, and what impact does that have on male and female students?
Academic engagement. In high school, women devote more time than men do to
studying, homework, and a range of academic and extracurricular activities. Women
also place greater value than men do on the intellectual benefits of going to college,
such as the opportunity to learn more about what interests them and to prepare
themselves for graduate school. Womens superior record of academic achievement
and intellectual engagement creates a gender gap that holds steady over the course
ofcollege.
But although men are less academically engaged than women, the influence of academic engagement is stronger for them. The time that men spend preparing for class
has a greater impact on their grades, academic confidence, critical-thinking skills,
and motivation to achieve. And the more time that men devote to their studies, the
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more interested they become in the larger political and cultural contexts that surround them, while the same is not true for women. Certainly, studying matters for
women as well, but it seems to make more of a difference for men.
Clearly, colleges need to consider strategies for encouraging greater academic
engagement among male students. As Jillian Kinzie, the associate director of the
Center for Postsecondary Research and National Survey of Student Engagement
Institute, and her colleagues suggested in a 2007 research paper on gender and student engagement, colleges should involve men more in learning communities, firstyear seminars, writing-intensive courses, student-faculty research, study abroad,
internships, and capstone seminars.
Questions for future research: How much do colleges consider the different academic
needs of male and female learners? Should strategies for promoting student engagement be the same for both?
The impact of diversity programs. My research found that experiences with diversity both inside and outside the classroom are more liberalizing, motivating, and
eye-opening for men than women. For example, attending racial- or cultural-awareness workshops or engaging in social diversitydating, dining, studying, or living
with someone of a different race or ethnicitycontributes more strongly to mens
desire to improve race relations. In addition, taking ethnicstudies courses and participating in racial-awareness and cultural-awareness workshops give rise to more
progressive gender-role attitudes among male students.
Yet, at the same time, such activities are also often accompanied by heightened feelings of discomfort in male students. Campuses should provide appropriate resources
for such studentsfollowing up with them in the weeks or even months after their
participation in diversity programming to gauge whether they may need counseling
or other support.
Questions for future research: Why are men more challenged and conflicted by
diversity experiences than women? What specific aspects of diversity programming
lead to such outcomes?
Careers and majors. Colleges often find it difficult to attract more women to pursue the traditionally male fields of engineering and computer science. Large numbers of women opt out of the science and engineering pipeline before they attend
college, often because of factors beyond colleges control, such as family influences
and early educational experiences.
But colleges are in a position to recruit and retain women who have the ability and
preparation for science and engineering careers yet who may nevertheless select
other career paths. They have an opportunity to educate students about the ways
in which math and science can help improve society and the human condition,
particularly at a time of tremendous progress in computer and biological technologies. The more that higher-education institutions can connect scientific concepts to
issues that women tend to care abouteducation, the environment, human rights
the more likely women will become scientists and create change in those areas.
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Strategies to increase the number of women in science include summer internships,

mentorships, professional-development workshops, and online networks of women
in science. They are usually viewed, however, as programmatic supplements rather
than integrated into the mainstream curriculum. In fact, we know far less about
how to transform the broader culture of academic science.
Questions for future research: How can we make science more appealing to women?
What are the characteristics of programs that successfully educate students about
the connection between scientific concepts and larger societal concerns?
Besides those aspects of college life, female and male college students experiences
in higher education differ in several other key ways. For example, female students
average income has fallen further behind mens, so they are substantially more concerned than their male counterparts about whether they will have enough money
to complete college. Thus, colleges should evaluate whether they allocate student
aid and work-study opportunities fairly to women and men, which types of work
experiences are most beneficial, and the extent to which women and men have equal
access to the most desirable positions. We should study, for example, whether having
a job in the campus bookstore relates to a different set of outcomes than working in
the admissions office, in the recreation center, or at the local coffeehouse or a retail
store.
Also, despite the fact that college women earn better grades and exhibit a stronger
academic orientation than their male counterparts, they tend to suffer from comparatively low academic confidence. In fact, women rate themselves lower than men
on nearly every assessment of their academic abilities. Further, these gender differences grow during college. We should learn more about why women rate themselves
lowerbecause they believe they are less capable, or are they simply reluctant to
describe themselves as having high ability?and what conditions account for the
widening gender gap in academic self-confidence.
Finally, compared with men, women enter college with higher levels of self-reported
stress and lower ratings of their physical and emotional health. Such gender gaps
remain significant over four years of college and reflect the fact that men spend
more time on activities that can be considered ways to relieve stress (playing sports
and video games, partying, and watching television) while women often devote
themselves to a range of responsibilities that tend to induce stress (studying, homework, community service, and family responsibilities). Colleges should encourage all
students to strike a healthier balance between academics, extracurricular activities,
and leisure. We also need to develop a better understanding of what it means for a
student to maintain balance.
Although women have a numerical advantage in college, both genders face challenges to their adjustment and development. Just as we need to be concerned about
high stress and low self-esteem among women, we must be concerned about growing academic disengagement among men.
And while we aim to encourage all students to become engaged and involved, we
must be mindful that the dynamics of those experiences can be quite different
for the two genders, especially when it comes to students interactions with their
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professors. Thus, institutional efforts aimed at improving the college experience for
both genders must consider the distinct needs of each. j
Her College Experience Is Not His by Linda Sax, as appeared in The Chronicle of
Higher Education, Vol. 55, Issue 5, p. A32, September 26, 2008. Reprinted with
permission from Linda J. Sax.
Research Focus #2: Social Class and the University

In the United States, social class is difficult to talk about. American identity is based
strongly upon notions of the American Dream, social mobility, independence, and
equality. Talking about social class, therefore, appears to contradict many Americans
most important values. In Great Britain, on the other hand, social class is much more
obvious. Social class determines dialect, the words one uses (e.g., what upper-class folks
call a sofa, working-class people call a couch), eating times for lunch and dinner, and
even the way one makes a cup of tea. In the United States, social class involves cultural
distinctions that are more subtle and harder to classify. Social class identity may also
blend with regional identity, and it may be difficult to untangle working-class culture
from rural, Midwestern, or Southern identities.
What complicates social class even more is that it is not directly correlated with income
levels, though, over time, income levels may definitely impact class. In a series of articles
about social class, The New York Times defines it as a status system involving such variables as occupation, education, income, and wealth (these articles are available at www.
nytimes.com/class). These variables determine the individuals position in society and
influences how he or she is judged by others. Social class is tied to behaviors, tastes, and
dispositions that are passed from one generation to the next. It is powerful precisely
because it operates for the most part under the radar. Although many Americans are
indeed working class, they, as well as the media, pretend that they and everyone else are
middle class. Moreover, when people and families are depicted in movies and television
shows, rarely are the lives of working-class, poor, near poor, or even lower middle-class
families shown. Interestingly enough, the few times that social class is made obvious is by
the Redneck Comedians, such as Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, or Bill Engvall,
who, when poking fun at working-class culture, are also revealing the entire class system
in the United States. If social class did not exist in the United States, then their jokes
would not be funny.
What does social class have to do about the university and campus life? How can you
research issues of social class and make it interesting and appropriate for an audience
connected to college life?
Start off first by exploring your own assumptions about social class. Look at the following questions and jot down some notes. Then, consider this question: What do these
questions suggest about social class?
1. Did anyone in your family attend college before you? If so, who and where did they go?
2. Do you work? If so, how many hours per week do you work?
3. When growing up, what was the typical vacation that you would take with your
family?
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4. What newspapers or magazines do your parents subscribe to, if any?

5. How many books were in your home while you were growing up?
6. When you were growing up, did your family eat together? How often? How often did
your family eat fast food?
7. What is your fathers occupation?
When youve spent some time discussing these questions and how they might connect to
social class, take a look at the following statistics. They may help you gain a better grasp
of class issues in the United States.
j Statistics on Social Class in America1

Wealth and Poverty
U.S. median household income: $40,816
(U.S. Census Bureau, 1999)
Average household net worth of the top 1% of wage earners: $10,204,000
Average net worth of the bottom 40% of wage earners: $1900
(Edward N. Wolff, Recent Trends in Wealth Ownership, 19831998, April 2000)
Definition of middle class in terms of income: $32,653 to $48,979
(Economy.Coms The Dismal Scientist, 1999)
Percentage of U.S. children who live in poverty: 20%
Percentage of U.S. adults who live in poverty: 12%
Percentage of single mothers who live in poverty: 37.4%

Rank of the U.S. among the seventeen leading industrial nations with the largest percentage of their populations in poverty: 1
(United Nations Human Development Report 1998, N.Y.C.)
Portion of U.S. stock owned by the wealthiest 10% of Americans: 9/10
(Economic Policy Institute, Washington D.C., 1999)
Median hourly wage of a former welfare recipient: $6.61
(Urban Institute, 2000)
Percentage of former welfare recipients who have no access to a car: 90%
(Surface Transportation Policy Project, 2001)
Bill Gates hourly wage: $650,000/hr
(Bill Gates Net Worth Page, average since 1986)
From People Like Us: Social Class in America. PBS. <http://www.pbs.org/peoplelikeus/resources/stats.html>.
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Education
In October 1996, 48.6% of high school graduates in lower income families were
enrolled in college, compared with 62.7% from middle income families and 78%
from higher income families.
(U.S. Department of Commerce, Bureau of the Census, Current Population Survey)
Mean verbal SAT score for children in households with incomes below $10,000: 427
Mean verbal SAT score for children in households with incomes above $100,000: 559
Mean math SAT score for children in households with incomes below $10,000: 446
Mean math SAT score for children in households with incomes above $100,000: 572.
(SAT Program information, 1998)
Median household income for those with less than a 9thgrade education: $17,261
Median household income for those with a 9th12th grade education (no diploma):
$21,737
Median household income for high school graduates: $35,744
Median household income for college graduates, B.A.: $64,406
Median household income for college graduates, M.A.: $74,476
Median household income for professional degree holders: $100,000
Class, Race, and Gender
Median net worth of a White American: $81,700
Median net worth of an African American: $10,000
(Edward N. Wolff, Recent Trends in Wealth Ownership, 19831998, April 2000)
Number of White people living in poverty: 21,922,000

Number of Black people living in poverty: 8,360,000
Percentage of men earning poverty level hourly wage: 19.5%
Percentage of women earning poverty level hourly wage: 31.1%
(Economic Policy Institute, 2000)
Salary comparison:
Males
Females
White collar: 47%, avg. hr. wage = $22.20
White collar: 73.4%, avg. hr. wage = $14.90
Service: 10.4%, avg. hr. wage = $10.92
Service: 15.2%, avg. hr. wage = $8.17
Blue collar: 40.1%, avg. hr. wage = $13.71
Blue collar: 9.6%, avg. hr. wage = $9.94
(The State of Working America 20002001, Economic Policy Institute, statistics are for 2000)
Median Income by type of household:

Family households (all): $49,940
Married couple families: $56,827
Female householder, no husband present: $26,164
Male householder, no wife present: $41,838
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Attitude
36% of those earning $15,000 a year call themselves middle class.
49% of those with incomes between $35,000 and $49,999 call themselves middle
class.
71% of those with incomes above $75,000 call themselves middle class.
(National Center for Opinion Research, 2000)
Percentage of American adults polled who cited lack of effort as a reason people
are poor: 43%.
Percentage who cited strong effort as a reason some people are rich: 53%.
(Gallup Poll Social Audit, 1998)
Housing
Number of American households that spend more than 50% of income on housing:
14 million.
(Habitat for Humanity, 1999)
Number of families or primary individuals who live in mobile homes or trailers:
6.8million.
(U.S. Census Bureau, American Housing Survey, 1999)
Percentage change in the number of rural Americans living in mobile homes
between 1980 and 1990: +52.
(Housing Assistance Council, Washington D.C.)
Number of U.S. households earning less than $10,000/year: 7.6 million
Number of affordable housing units available: 4.4 million.
(Low Income Housing Information Service, 1995)
Interesting fact:
In 1995, homeowners earning more than $100,000 a year received a total of $28.9
billion dollars in federal income tax deductions on mortgage interest payments. The
entire 1996 budget of the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development was
only $19 billion.
(The New Politics of Housing, Peter Dreier, Journal of the American Planning Association,
Vol. 63, No. 1, Winter 1997)
Crime
Percentage of death row inmates who could not afford to hire a lawyer: 90%.
(ACLU, 2001)
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jQuestions about the Statistics

1. What inferences can you make from analyzing these statistics? Did you find any of
these statistics interesting? If so, which ones? Why?
2. How can you relate any of these statistics to the lives of students at K-State?
3. Should universities make special efforts to support students who come from different
social-class backgrounds? Why? Why not?
5
4. What is one benefit of enrolling students from lower income levels on college
campuses?
5. What student or university groups might care about students from lower income
level backgrounds?
122
6. How do you see class issues playing out at K-State?
7. What aspects of college life might be intimidating to first-generation, non-traditional,

or working students?
8. Some of these statistics are now quite dated. Using the Internet and the library databases, do some preliminary research to update these data. What changes do you see?
What patterns still hold true?
In the following article, Theron Snell directly addresses issues of social class and universities. He joins many conversations about the responsibilities that universities have
in making the American Dream possible for all. Read the article, taking notes in the
margins. Complete the comprehension multiple-choice questions and continue to think
about possible topics and audiences.
First-Generation Students, Social Class, and Literacy
Theron P. Snell
I work as an academic adviser and adjunct instructor at a small, public, four-year
university that provides the usual spread of bachelors degree programs, as well as
several masters degrees. I have done similar work at a private liberal arts college and
at a branch campus of a large state school. I bring to this work not only a PhD in
American studies but also experience teaching English in a Colombian high school
for two years and teaching English as a second language in a language institute in
Bogota, Colombia, for a year.
At each of the U.S. institutions at which I have worked, administrators and faculty
alike have worried about and studied first-generation college students, looking at
specific academic and social challenges these students face and how best to ensure
student success. I want to look at this concern about first-generation students from
the perspective I have gained from working at a smaller, regional university and from
teaching cross-culturally. Although faculty members and administrators invoke
first-generation status to explain many of the academic problems they perceive, my
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experience suggests that social class and local social environment, particularly their
respective effects on literacy, are just as crucial indicators of success. Class, in fact,
may act as a multiplier to first-generation status.
First-Generation Students
The most common challenges attributed to first-generation students involve academic behaviors as well as student and family expectations. At my institution,
for example, faculty members confront a cross-cultural disconnect between their
expectations and student behavior, most pointedly when students miss classes or do
not complete required out-of-class assignments. These lapses are variously viewed
as a result of simple lack of interest, poor attitude, or first-generation ignorance of
how to do academic work. I think this behavior is more complex; many of these
students work too hard in their lives outside of school and are too bright for these
explanations to suffice.
After eight years at my small state university, I have become used to the social and
pedagogical impact of this behaviorwhat I call the dark side of the work ethic. The
dark side rests on the premise that education exists solely to improve work opportunities and salary. Socially, going to college is often tolerated only insofar as it provides added value to work. Pedagogically, the classes that count are those in a major
and those that can add employment value to any degree. These views lead students
to choose overtime or extra work hours over classes, even to the point of missing
quizzes or deadlines. They lead students and families to devalue the work they do
to succeed in classes. Sometimes, they lead families to designate acceptable majors
and even acceptable institutions to students. At the extreme, they lead families to
provide financial and moral support to their students only so long as the students go
into what the families think are high-paying fields.
Paradoxically, fixating on work actually seems to impede students from choosing

their majors here. While our administrators wonder why so many students are still
undecided at sixty credits, we meet daily with advisees obviously working toward
a major but still afraid to commit to it in writing. Instead of embracing their fields,
they almost distrust them (or themselves). Many students confess that they are not
sure whether they will want to work in their field for all their lives: I really like X
major, but dont know if I will in ten years. Other students ask plaintively, How
can I choose X if I cant apply it directly to a job with the same title? We continue
to hear from students who say they do not care about the major as long as they
can make money with it. But, more often, students have had parents tell them that
nursing or business or teaching, for example, offer long-term job stability; students
themselves discuss choosing between what they are good at and what they can use.
These attitudes and behaviors cannot be completely explained by simply invoking the
phenomenon of first-generation students and the lack of personal and family knowledge of higher education. Census figures from 2000 show that almost 52 percent
of the population twenty-five years old and older (our students parents or siblings)
have done college coursework, with 24 percent of this population earning a bachelors degree or higher. For the most part, my state mirrors these figures. National
numbers indicate that academic behaviors typical of first-generation students are
present in larger cohorts and cannot be attributable solely to first-generation status.
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Instead, the impact of class and local mores [i.e., values and beliefs] on quality of educational preparation combines with larger mass-cultural or social definitions and
valuations of education to explain student behaviors. I work at what can be called a
blue-collar regional university, which attracts students who do not or cannot go to
the flagship schools in the system. The university draws on three urban areas, one of
which has the highest unemployment rate in the state. This region has seen industrial jobs flee, leaving communities trying to attract new industrial jobs or turning
to gentrification. The people of this region see education as the ticket to economic
and social stability, despite being unwilling to leave the area to find the jobs.
In terms of income level and amount of time devoted to work outside of school, the
students at my institution are working class. Since 2003, between 49 and 53 percent of
our first-year students have been working sixteen hours a week or more. Some 22 percent of first-year students describe themselves as primary caregivers. The figures are
higher for seniors. Because only 21 percent of the student body is nontraditional in age,
these numbers say a great deal about both the financial need and focus of the students
in general. Moreover, 38 percent of the universitys full-time equivalent enrollment
received Pell Grants in 2006, again indicating the income level of the student body.
Here class intermingles with the status of first-generation, nontraditional-age, and

traditional-age students with nontraditional life demands and, in turn, intersects
with academic behavior and choices. The social and academic lines between these
three groups blur. Unlike students from economically advantaged backgrounds,
these students need to value paid work over school. Their work ethic focuses upon
paid work and either does not or cannot extend to academic involvement. Firstgeneration, nontraditional-age, or those traditional-age students with nontraditional
demands become, in effect, subgroups of class, with class affecting how students in
these groups do education.
Importance of Literacy
Perhaps because I have taught English composition and high school English, I find
that the national trends in literacy, especially as they are reflected at my university,
best illustrate the interactions between and among social behavior, academic preparation, and the successful transition to a university setting. Combining data from
the National Endowment for the Arts (NEA), the National Assessment of Adult
Literacy (NAAL), and ACT provides an overview of literacy in the United States
and thus a context for looking at the students at my institution. Our students are
no less prepared nor more disadvantaged than students at many other institutions.
Yet, given that 70 percent of our students come from three contiguous counties and
reflect the tax, employment, and class backgrounds of this area, my institution illustrates how place, with its socioeconomic peculiarities, affects student behavior and
schoolculture.
The national literacy numbers establish links among the amount of reading, the
level of competence, and the resulting ACT scores. The NEA measures literary
reading, defined as reading any poetry, fiction, or drama, even Danielle Steel or
Louis LAmour. According to NEA numbers from 2004, literary reading declined
17 percent between 1982 and 2002 for people eighteen to twenty-four years old.
Just as significantly, such reading has declined 14.4 percent for people twenty-five
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to thirty-four years old and 10 percent over all ages. The rate of decline for traditional college-age students, though, is 55 percent greater than it is for the total adult
population. This rate implies decreasing interest in and capacity for complex reading activities.
At the same time, the numbers imply that the role of income and class overshadows the importance for literacy of being part of a first-generation cohort. While the
2004 NEA report, Reading at Risk, states that the literary reading rate correlates
more closely to educational attainment than to family income, the numbers suggest
a close connection between family income and reading rates. Only about one-third
of those from the lowest income group (families with income under $10,000) read
literature during the survey year, compared to 61 percent of those from the highest income group (families with income of $75,000 or more). The report makes the
obvious connection between low income and lower education levels and then points
out that while only 23 percent of the families had incomes of $75,000 or more, they
bought over 33 percent of the books.
Perhaps as important for educators, the NEA report also highlights the correlation
between high reading rates and likelihood of participating in volunteer or charity
work, visiting art museums, and attending performing arts and sporting events
that is, engaged readers also engage the outside world. Given the income information, therefore, it is reasonable to suggest that the lower the income and education
levels, the lower the literary reading rates and the lower the ability or inclination of
students to engage academically and socially. This is not simply a first-generation
issue; it becomes, in part, an issue of income and class. Small wonder, then, that the
recent announcement that a local school system is cutting its librarians has raised
concern among educators here.
This lack of inclination and ability among lower-income students is reflected in the
National Assessment of Adult Literacy, sponsored by the U.S. Department of Educations National Center for Education Statistics. NAAL divides literacy achievement
into four levels: below basic (from being nonliterate to being able to locate easily
identifiable information in short, basic sentences), basic (able to read and understand information in short, commonplace prose texts), intermediate (able to understand moderately dense, less commonplace prose texts, as well as to summarize,
make simple inferences, determine cause and effect, and recognize an authors purpose), and proficient (able to read lengthy, complex texts; synthesize information;
and make complex inferences). Clearly, university work requires proficient readers.
Yet, in the 2006 NAAL, only 12 percent of people nineteen to twenty-four years
old tested proficient, with 48 percent testing intermediate. NAAL also noted that
the reading level of college graduates dropped from a 40 percent proficiency rate in
1992 to a 31 percent proficiency rate in 2003. Reading proficiency declined as literary reading rates declined. At the same time, NAAL statistics show that in 2005,
53.5 percent of low-income high school graduates (defined as those with the bottom fifth of family incomes) entered college, while 65.1 percent of middle-income
graduates (middle 60 percent of family incomes) and 81.2 percent of high-income
graduates (top fifth of family incomes) entered college. And this does not take into
account how many low-income students did not complete high school, suggesting
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that family income affects learning outcomes more strongly than college performance figures suggests. Both NAAL and NEA numbers indicate that the higher the
income, the more likely people are proficient readers. But at the same time, contact
with college graduates does not guarantee proficient reading.
Both ACT and NAAL suggest that nearly half of students entering college fail to
meet the intermediate or proficient reading level necessary to have a better-thanaverage statistical chance of being successful in their college courses. Taken together
with the NEA report, these reports indicate that literacy is not an across-the-board
value. And these numbers become more pronounced among students with lower
levels of income and education. Students coming from households where no one
reads can be expected to be at a disadvantage. This is in part a class issue.
Student Expectations
Looking again at my institution, recall how many of the students work and how
many are caregivers. About 80 percent of the students commute. In 2006, 62 percent of the incoming students placed into a remedial reading course and 42 percent
placed into a remedial composition course.
Literacy rates, reading proficiency, and test scores together affect how our students
see their role at the university and what they expect from faculty and courses. More
and more students arrive at my institution with little facility with exactly the kind
of intellectual processing needed to succeed. This connection between our local
numbers and more general literacy numbers clearly involves income and class levels,
with income level acting not as cause but as multiplier of student expectations. The
lower the income, the more apt students are to be dualistic learners, reading for data
alone and looking for correct answers in the classroom. That the trend to dualistic
learning cuts across college graduates as well as across all income groups only reinforces how income level multiplies that tendency.
Finally, the literacy processes our students bring to this institution, as well as general
academic behaviors, the majors being chosen, and the process by which students
choose their majors, are all shaped by income, class, and education level. Firstgene
ration students are only part of the cohorts being affected. Our students react to
economic factors, parental interests, and received wisdom about which majors are
moneymakers and which ones give the fastest access to the job market. Furthermore,
reading discrepancies indicate a cross-cultural gap between faculty, who generally
read literature for pleasure, and their students, who read less and less and generally
do not read literature for pleasure. This gap implies that students lack exactly the
intellectual practice and involvement that faculty require and expect for academic
success. The students have neither the reading background nor practice in engaging
the world of ideas. All of the issues highlighted in the national data, therefore, come
together at once, and literacy proves to be a better marker for academic success than
does having a college graduate in ones family. j
First-Generation Students, Social Class, and Literacy by Theron P. Snell. Reprinted

with permission from the JulyAugust 2008 issue of Academe, the magazine of
the American Association of University Professors.
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j Comprehension Questions
1. Who is Snells primary audience?
a. Rich and elite students
b. American taxpayers
c. University professors
d. Working-class students
2. What misconception of his audience is Snell trying to dispel?
a. Students identification as first generation is the primary reason why they present academic challenges.
b. Students all come from the middle class.
c. Students are not performing as well academically as they once did.
d. Male students are outperforming female students.
3. What best describes Snells main thesis?
a. Wealthy students possess an unearned privilege that makes them more successful academically.
b. Professors need to improve the literacy of students.
c. Universities and colleges should not accept working-class students.
d. Social class is the variable that influences and magnifies the academic issues that
first-generation students face.
4. What is the relationship between work and college life that Snell describes?
a. Working-class students should not be allowed to work when they are in college.
b. Students and their families emphasis upon finding high-paying careers may
cause academic problems.
c. Working-class students choose majors with few career prospects.
d. Work actually enhances students academic ability.
5. What is the relationship between literacy and social class that Snell describes?
a. Wealthier students read less because of access to computer technology.
b. Students literature reading rates have been consistent over the past 25 years.
c. Students family income has no correlation to their academic performance.
d. Students from poorer families have academic values and abilities that may place
them at a disadvantage when they enter the university.
128
After having read and discussed this research article, what additional areas of social class
and university life could you explore? You may want to begin by doing some preliminary
research on these following keywords.
at-risk students
first-generation students
Pell Grants
class divide
income inequality
single-parent students
class inequality
low income students
socioeconomic diversity
class mobility
meritocracy
elite colleges
non-traditional students
What additional research questions or issues related to social class and university life can
you come up with?
Research Strategies and Writing Strategies

The information in this section is divided into two parts: Research Strategies and Writing Strategies. The information on research strategies will lead you through the steps
of researching information for your report. The writing strategies section will help you
create a report that is easy for your audience to read and understand. It is important to
be flexible during the research and writing processes. You may need to use some of these
strategies more than once or go through the steps in a different order than they are presented here. Work with your instructor and classmates to find out which research and
writing strategies work best for you.
jResearch Strategies: Choosing a topic

Remember that the topic you choose must be related to this courses general focus on
communities and identities. Additionally, you must focus your topic, addressing your
report to a specific K-State audience that would benefit from the information. You may
already have a topic in mind, or you may choose from the general issues listed below.
After you choose a general issue, you will need to narrow your topic down to fit the
needs of your audience.
Possible Topics
Challenges faced by men in majors where women are the majority or by women in
majors where men are the majority.
How stereotypes of a particular ethnic group of students impact that groups success
at the university.
How social expectations about gender affect men and women at the Rec. Center.
Students with disabilities (in terms of their access to classrooms and accessible dorm
rooms).
Minority religious groups and promotion of inter-religious understanding.
Treatment of gay, lesbian, or bisexual students by fellow students and campus
administrators.
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Hate speech legislation and free speech zones on campuses.

Non-traditional students on campus (in terms of their access to childcare and financial aid).
International students (in terms of a broad range of challenges, including adapting to
a new culture, differences in educational systems, language difficulties).
The importance of language diversity.
The needs of students in under-represented groups (such as transgendered students)
in residence halls.
Problematic Topics
Some topics have been researched too much, or they are just too controversial for a short
paper. Your instructor may have additional items to add to this list; in general, you should
avoid writing about the following:
Title IX
Affirmative Action
Diversity (or the lack thereof ) in fraternities and sororities
jResearch Strategies: Considering your audience
Remember that you will be writing to a specific audience other than your instructor and
classmates. You may choose any campus organization to write to, but might find it easiest to choose an organization that you are already familiar with because you are a member or have participated in that groups activities. Consider the student groups that you
belong to, the residence hall you live in, and the academic departments you take classes
in as potential audiences. You can find a list of campus organizations on K-States website
or in the campus phone directory.
When you are researching and writing for this audience, make sure that you can find a way
to connect your audience to your topic and research questions. Obviously, if your audience already knows everything about your topic and can already answer your research
questions, then your report will not be useful for them. Try to figure out what they
already know about the topic or if they have a misconception about it. Also, think about
how the topic is significant to your audience. These three following thinking frames
can help you begin thinking about how your topic is significant for your audience:
My audience knows little about my topic, but it is important to them because
My audience has a misconception about my topic, but I can show them that
My audience does not see how my topic relates to them, but I can show them how it
does
One of the most important parts of writing to a specific audience is determining the
needs of the audience before you plan what you will write. Knowing about your audience
helps you understand what kind of information will be most valuable to them. It also
helps you to determine the tone and style of writing you will use. The questions in the
audience analysis activity on the next page will help you to learn more about your audience before you begin writing.
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Activity: Profile Your Target Audience

To find out more about the audience for your Informative Report, answer the questions
below by looking at the organizations website and/or interviewing one of the organizations officers or sponsors. At the top of your page of notes, write down the name of the
organization and the website address (and/or name and title of the interviewee).
1. What is the goal or purpose of this organization or group?
2. What kind of activities does the group participate in or sponsor? What is the goal
of these activities? Who attends these activities (e.g., members of the group, only
people associated with the university, the public)?
3. Who are the members of this group? Are they primarily of one age, one gender, one
race or ethnicity, or one socioeconomic class? Describe them in as much detail as
you can.
5
4. Does this group currently address any issues related to communities and identities?
What are these issues and how do they address them (e.g., sponsoring lectures or
events, discussions at meetings, promoting policy changes at the university)?
5. How might this organization be interested in your research questions? Why do you
think the group might be interested in these issues? Give specific reasons based on
what youve learned about this group.
131
jResearch Strategies: Narrowing your topic

Once you have chosen a broad diversity issue to focus on, you should narrow your focus
to help guide your research. For example, if your audience is the Engineering Department, you may have determined that gender issues might interest this group. However,
there are many subtopics related to gender and the engineering fieldfor example, the
history of women in engineering, differences in pay between male and female engineers,
and college enrollment differences based on gender. Trying to write about all of these
topics in a short report would be overwhelming to the reader and would create an unfocused report that would be difficult to follow. Instead, you might choose to focus just on
what is being done to improve the under-representation of women in the engineering
field, so the Engineering Department can decide how to attract more women to their
program.
Before deciding how to narrow your topic, you should write down what you already
know about the issue to get a general picture of the topic. Then you might do some
preliminary library or internet research on the topic, especially if it is one that you dont
know much about. One other way to help you focus your ideas is to use a cluster diagram, which is described in more detail below.
Cluster Diagrams
You may choose to use a cluster diagram to help you narrow your focus. A cluster diagram helps you to explore specific ideas that relate to a general topic. Below is a sample
cluster diagram on the topic of Hate Speech that is part of the brainstorming work that
student writer Kyle Heaton did for his paper.
Kyles First Cluster Diagram On Hate Speech
Psychological
Perspectives
The Internet
Laws and
Court Rulings
Relationship to
Violent Acts
Hate
Speech
Relationship to
Free Speech
Statistics
Free Speech
Zones
What Groups
Are Targeted the
Most and Why
College
Campuses
Campus
Newspapers
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Anti-Abortion
Display at
KState
Public
Kyle then selected one of the subtopics from his diagram, free speech on college campuses, to focus on. He made a more focused cluster to brainstorm details about this topic.
Kyles Focused Diagram
Facebook
Rate My
Professor
Sidewalk
Chalkings?
The Internet
Free
Speech
on College
Campuses
Reasons
Against
Censoring
Censorship
Reasons
to Censor
K-State
Union
Plaza
Anti-Abortion
Display
K-States
Policy
Definitions
Free Speech
Zones
Religious
Speakers
Now that Kyle has made a more focused cluster, he can combine it with what he knows
about his audience to decide what specific area he will focus on in his research. Even if
he has trouble finding information about that specific area, Kyle will be able to easily
choose another research area by returning to his cluster diagram. Before you begin your
research, your teacher may ask that you make a cluster diagram. You can use the models
above to help you get started.
Group Invention
Another way to help narrow your topic is to find out what other students want to know
about the issue. Since you will be writing to a campus audience, your classmates can be
good sources of information as you decide what specific area your report will cover. On
the next page is an activity designed to help you find out what other students already
know and would like to know about your topic. You can then use this group invention
activity to add to your cluster diagram.
133
134
ACTIVITY
Writer
Date
Reader
Potential Audience
Fill in the top of this sheet with your name and topic information. Then pass the sheet
around the classroom. Try to list at least one thing you know and one thing youd like to
know about each of your classmates topics as the sheets are passed around the room.
Things I Know about This Subject
Things Id Like to Know about This Subject
5
5
5
5
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jResearch Strategies: Formulating a research question

Drawing on the information you have gained from completing the clustering and group
invention activities, you should be ready to formulate a research question. Research
questions are important because they help you focus your research efforts. Instead of
collecting every source you can find on the topic, you will look for sources that help you
answer a specific question, therefore helping you to focus your paper as you write. The
best research question is one that is interesting to both you and your audience.
The difference between a topic and a research question is focus. Consider the difference
between the topics and research questions below.
Topic: Social expectations about gender
Research Question: What are some safety concerns of women who use the recreation center?
Topic: Non-traditional students
Research Question: What does the university do to meet the childcare needs of nontraditional students?
You may find that as you do your research, your research question may become broader
or narrower, or perhaps it will change altogether. This is a normal part of the research
process. You will need to be flexible as you research, so it is important to start the
research process early in the writing process. The activity below will help you to test the
feasibility of your research question before you begin researching.
Activity
Answer the questions below to test the feasibility of your research question.
1. Are you interested in this question?
2. Will your audience be interested in this question? Why?
3. Is the question significant for the audience?
4. Is the question limited enough for a paper of 35 pages?
5. Is there a reasonable possibility of finding information about this topic in the time
you have available? What might be some good sources of information to answer this
question?
jResearch Strategies: Connecting Topics, Questions,

and Audiences
136
While researching, it is important to maintain some perspective about your audience

and what your topic means to them. You may want to begin charting out a few possible
topics, research questions, and possible audiences. When looking at the chart that you
have created, you can focus more on how these topics are significant for different audiences. The following chart provides several examples of topics and research questions.
What possible university audiences might have something in stake in these topics and
questions? Who cares about these issues? Then, sketch out your own possible topics,
questions, and audiences in the two available rows at the bottom of the chart.
Topics
Questions
University Recruitment
and Retention
W
hat programs and scholarships are
available for needy students?
W hat are the programs available to help
retain these students?
Does K-State have a socioeconomic diversity
policy?
Health
A
re there additional health benefits for
students who cannot supplement their health
care?
Do students from poorer backgrounds have
different types of health risks?
W hat types of stress, depression, or other
types of emotional illnesses might these
at-risk students have?
K-State Classes
W
hat courses at K-State reflect the history of
the working class in the United States?
A re there sociology courses or other
programs that talk about the issues and
concerns that touch upon the lives of the
poor or the near poor?
Career Planning
H
ow are the professional and career needs
different for first-generation students?
Non-traditional Students
and/or Students as Primary
Child Caregivers
W
hat university policies are in place to help
support single-parent students?
How available and how affordable is daycare
for students?
How do nontraditional students interact with
traditional students?
How academically successful are
nontraditional students, especially those who
work a great deal?
Audience(s)
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jResearch Strategies: Finding and evaluating sources

Your instructor will give you information about how to find sources of information using
Hale Librarys databases and catalog. You may also be required to complete some exercises on finding sources, like the activity later in this section. Once you have started your
research, you will need to determine if the sources you find are credible and relevant. You
should use the following guide to the Big 5 criteria to evaluate your sources.
Learning the Big 5: Evaluating Web and Print Sources

for Research Potential
Nancy Trimm
What does it mean to evaluate sources for research potential?
Evaluating both print and web sources for research potential means you must hold
those sources to the highest standards. To write a credible, thorough research paper
of any kind, you must use only the most credible and relevant sources available.
Determining the credibility of a source requires a bit of detective work. When you
apply the Big 5 criteria, you may uncover hidden motivations, new purposes for
writing, unexpected authors or sponsors, and exciting research discoveries.
Why is it important to evaluate sources?
Using unreliable and discredited sources will weaken your writing and erode your
credibility. To write with authority and credibility, you must demand the same from
your sources.
What kinds of skills will I develop?

By successfully evaluating a source and determining whether or not it is credible
or relevant to your research, you will be practicing critical thinking skills. Critical
thinking skills are essential to your development as a writer and a thinker.
Where do I begin?
Before locating possible credible sources, you should ask a few questions.
Why am I writing?
To inform? To persuade? To explore an unfamiliar subject? To reflect on a personal
experience? To entertain? To enlighten?
What sort of information am I looking for?
Facts and statistics? Historical perspectives? Opinions and editorials? News and
information? Personal narratives? Scientific studies and research?
Where should I look?
Deciding what kinds of information you are looking for will help determine where
to begin looking. Newspapers provide information on current events, whether local,
national, or global. They also offer op-ed pieces designed to express a particular
opinion or perspective. Academic journals offer critical analyses, reports, scholarly
interpretations, and in-depth research on a variety of topics ranging from medicine to politics to psychology. The Internet can provide immediate access to a wide
variety of links and a vast array of information. Government records detail census
reports, legislation, and various other government policies and regulations.
138
The library is not only filled with journals, newspapers, books, dissertations, surveys, and reports, but also with knowledgeable, helpful people anxious to assist you
with all of your research needs. Dont be intimidated! Ask for help!
What are the Big 5 criteria for evaluating sources?
Authority
Identify the author or Web page sponsor and publisher.

Does the sponsor and/or publisher identify his or her credentials? Does the author
list his or her qualifications? Is the source an advocacy group? If so, what are they
advocating? Is the source a commercial enterprise? If so, what are they selling? Is
the source an educational institution? Is the source a local or state government? A
national government?
Accuracy
Locate contact information for the author or webpage sponsor.

Locate the source of the article or sites information. Is the information original or
taken from someplace else? Can you verify this information?
Objectivity
Determine the author or websites purpose.

Is the purpose to inform? to advertise? to persuade? to entertain? to explain?
Knowing why a site or article was written is a crucial step in determining whether or
not the information meets your research needs.
Coverage
Determine whether or not the article or sites information is thorough and

comprehensive.
Is the information you are seeking covered in enough depth to be useful? Is the topic
of the article or site clearly presented? Are all claims supported by sufficient evidence and explanation? Do you expect more or different information given the title
and opening remarks?
Currency
Identify the date the article or site was produced.

Is the information current enough for your purposes? If evaluating a webpage, when
was the page last updated? Are the links current? Does the page contain many dead
links?
What do I do once I determine whether or not a source fulfills the Big 5
criteria?
If a source fulfills all Big 5 criteria, you should feel confident in the credibility of
that source. Use the source to provide context, explanation, evidence, and/or support for your essays claims. Always avoid letting sources do all the speaking for you.
Find your own writers voice and speak with authority! The most important voice in
your essay is your own! j
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Activity: Finding and Citing Journal and Periodical Sources

The electronic resources of Hale Library provide you with access to many books, journal
articles, newspaper/magazine articles, and other types of sources.
Sometimes the item you are looking for (book or article) will be available electronically
and you can simply access it from the computer; however, at other times you will have to
venture into the stacks or other areas of the library to find the full-text of the item.
When searching a database, if the full-text is not attached directly to the citation the Get
It button will help you find the item in another database, in the library, or it will direct
you to Interlibrary Loan so that the item can be requested from another library.
The activities below will help you explore the resources that are available on the Hale
Library databases.
Describe your tentative topic here:
140
Explore Search Terms (Keywords) for your topic. Because different authors will use different terms to describe the same concept, it is useful to have alternate terms on hand. If
your first search does not work, or you want different perspectives, try different search
terms. Discover new search terms in the sources you have already read. Some databases
(e.g., ProQuest) will suggest alternate search terms. Identify some possible search terms
here:
1. Historical New York Times

(Contains scanned articles from the New York Times back to 1851.)
Go to the Libraries home page: http://www.lib.k-state.edu
Click on Databases, click on H, and then click on Historical New York Times.
Develop keywords to search the database on your chosen topic. Plug them into the
search.
In the space below, write down article titles and year of publication of sources you find
in Historical New York Times.
2. LexisNexis Academic
(Excellent source for researching current news. Full-text.)
Click on Databases, click on L, and then click on LexisNexis Academic.
In the space below, write down titles of articles and newspaper titles of sources you
find in LexisNexis Academic.
5
3. ProQuest Research Library
(Includes articles from magazines, journals, and some newspapers.)
Click on Databases and then click on ProQuest Research Library.
In the space below, take notes on new concepts or search terms, people of interest, or
other information pertinent to your research.
141
jResearch Strategies: Note-taking

Taking notes is an important, yet often overlooked, part of conducting research. By taking accurate and detailed notes, you will be able to present a cohesive report that will
be useful to your reader. If you dont take notes, you may find yourself reading and rereading the same article several times as you look for a piece of information. You may
also have problems with plagiarism if you dont carefully monitor what you have quoted
or paraphrased from your sources.
The best method to use for taking notes is to read your sources rhetorically, trying to
understand your sources arguments while considering how you might use the sources
when writing your paper. Use a journal to take notes as you read. You can keep a research
journal in a notebook or on your computer in a word processing program. To use a
research journal, divide a page into two columns. In one column make notes about the
authors main ideas, unfamiliar words, and other important parts of the article. On the
other side of the page, make notes about how you plan to use the source in your writing.
Another way to take effective notes is to annotate a source as you read it. Annotating a
source means to write notes in the margins as you read, paying attention to questions
you have, the authors main ideas, unfamiliar vocabulary words, and how the ideas in the
article connect to one another. If the margins of the source are small or you need more
room, you can use self-stick notes to write on and attach them to the appropriate part of
the article. You can find examples below of a sample research journal page of notes and
annotations on a page of the same article.
Research Journal Sample
Information from Source
142
What will I do with this information?
1Harwood says that blacks and whites

dont know what theyre talking about
when it comes to affirmative action (AA).
This might lend credibility to this source.

Harwood isnt blaming only one group.
2Harwood focuses on the lack of

information available to the public about
AA in college admissions which leads to
misconceptions.
Harwoods thesis statement.
4Harwood says that its relatively easy to

get into college. Its a buyers market.
I wonder if this is true today. Harwood was

writing in 1998. The article is a little dated. Is it
still useful to the reader?
6Harwood says that the press and the US

Dept of Ed dont report on information
that might give a true picture of AA in
college admissions.
Who is Harwood blamingthe press that he

is a part ofthe government? Maybe I should
find out more about Harwood so I better
understand his angle of vision.
Sample Annotated Article Page2
Debating without Facts

Richard Harwood
The White House-sponsored dialogue on race has been a flop up to now in large part because
too many people, black and white, dont know what theyre talking about.
That includes the media, especially in our treatment of affirmative action. We have created the
impression that without preferences blacks would be shut out of the higher education system.
And we have created the corollary impression that minority preferences are rampant, imperiling the educational future of far too many whites. But in all of the uproar and despite countless words written and broadcast on the issue, the information offered the public on affirmative
action is limited. How many people are affected? Who benefits? Who is hurt?
The truth is that with or without affirmative action almost any high school graduate who can
read, write and do the multiplication tablesand a lot who can do none of those things well
can go to college today. Its a buyers market. Schools bid against one another for students, using
financial incentives and other inducements. Many institutions admit almost everyone who applies. Others, including such well-regarded schools as Michigan, Tulane, Wisconsin, Auburn,
Ohio State, Purdue and American University in Washington, admit 70 percent to 90 percent
of applicants.
Of course, its a lot easier to get into college than to stay there. Only 45 percent of the students
who graduated from high school in 1982 and earned at least 10 college credits had received a
bachelors degree by the time they were 30 years old. Dropout rates at many institutions are
70 percent to 90 percent. At Fisk University in Nashville, for years one of the most prestigious
of the historically black colleges, the graduation rate is 2 percent, according to U.S. News and
World Report. These dropout rates tell us that tens of thousands of students not cut out for college work are being drawn into the higher education system.
Such statistics are rarely or inadequately reported. The press instead focuses on affirmative action problems at highly selective schools such as Harvard and Yale. And even in our obsessive scrutiny of matters involving those celebrated citadels of learning, the reporting is often
murky and misleading. In part that is because of the failure of the U.S. Department of Education and other government agencies to publish the kind of information that would clarify the
issues. Some colleges and universities involved in affirmative action controversies also complicate the problem by withholding information, for example, on the nature of preferential
admissions.
The Journal of Blacks in Higher Education, however, has been able to assemble much of the
relevant information. So have some academicians. We learn from the journal that 292,855 students applied to the 24 most prestigious universities in America for admission to the freshman
class of 1996. About 5 percent of these applicants13,801were black. The schools offered
admission to 96,369 students (33 percent of all the students who applied). They offered admission to 35 percent of the black applicants.
From The Washington Post 12 Jan. 1998: A17.
Harwood blames
blacks and whites for
problems.
**Thesis**
corollary: proposition
that follows from
another
According to
Harwood, its easy to
get into college if you
can do the basics.
Harwood says that

high acceptance rates
dont translate into
high graduation rates.
The press only reports

on problems with AA.
Will my reader see this

journal as credible? I
should find out more
about it. What sources
did they use?
143
Activity: Talk It Out

Bring the research youve gathered, read, and annotated to class. Work with a partner.
Ask your partner the questions below. Take notes as you listen to your partner. Play the
role of a doubter, asking follow-up questions as needed.
1. Why do you think your audience will be interested in this topic?

2. What goal/purpose will be served by this reportfor this audience?
3. What source seems most relevant to your purpose?
4. What source seems least relevant to your purpose?
5. What further research might be necessary to fulfill your reports purpose?
j Writing Strategies: Developing a thesis

Remember that the purpose of your paper is to inform your audience about a topic they
may have a misconception about or to broaden their perspective on a particular issue.
To relate this purpose to your audience, you should carefully construct a thesis statement that communicates the topic of your paper and connects this topic to the audiences needs. Sometimes a thesis idea is expressed in more than one sentence. Your thesis
should answer the question: How does this topic relate to the interests of my audience?
You might use one of the following models to create your thesis:
Many people in my audience know a little about X, but I can help them learn more.
The members of the Multicultural Business Student Association (MBSA) know that affirmative action has been a controversial topic, but this memo will discuss why some groups have
criticized it. Understanding why affirmative action is criticized is important to members of
MBSA, because in their future careers they will encounter employees and colleagues who
are both for and against affirmative action.
Many people in my audience have a misconception about X, but I can help to change
their misconception.
Many members of the College of Agriculture Ambassadors believe that minority students
just arent interested in careers in agriculture, but my research shows that many minority
students have misconceptions about what types of majors and careers are possible. Its
important that the Agriculture Ambassadors understand how to change these misconceptions so they can attract students to the field of agriculture.
Many people in my audience dont see that X relates to them, but I can show how it
does relate to their needs.
Many Pre-Nursing Club members dont see the value of learning a foreign language, but
this memo will explain how useful knowing a foreign language, especially Spanish, can be
to their careers.
144
j Writing Strategies: Organizing your report

The organization of your report should make it easy to read and understand. You should
consider the expectations that most audiences have for reading an informative paper.
These expectations include the following:
An introduction that states your main claim (how the topic is relevant to your audience), provides any necessary background information, and previews the topics to be
discussed.
Body paragraphs that include exposition (topic) sentences, present examples from
the source material, and include an explanation of how these examples relate to your
main point and connect to your audiences needs.
A conclusion that can either restate the main points of your report, pose new questions that the reader may pursue later, or present a call for action.
j Writing Strategies: Forecasting your organization

In your introduction, you can forecast your organization to make your research report
more readable for your audience. You can give them cues about how the report should be
read and how you will structure their reading experience. Think of these organizational
cues as traffic signs or road maps to guide your readers.
Your thesis statement is one important organizational cue, in which you explicitly tell
your readers your overall point. You can also provide a purpose statement, in which you
give your readers the reason for why they are reading the report and list for them your
overall goals. Additionally, you can provide a blueprint statement that directly tells readers about the structure of the report. The blueprint statement may act like a table of
contents, telling readers what the major sections of your report will be.
Examples of the thesis, purpose statement, and blueprint statement are below.
Thesis:
Many members of the College of Agriculture Ambassadors believe

that minority students are not interested in agricultural careers, but
my research shows that many minority students have misconceptions
about what types of majors and careers are possible. It is important
that the Agriculture Ambassadors understand these misconceptions
so they can attract students to the field of agriculture.
Purpose Statement:
In this brief report, my purpose is to reveal the misconceptions that

members of the College of Agricultural Ambassadors have about
minority students and to show how other agricultural programs have
attempted to recruit minority students.
Blueprint Statement:
First, I will identify the misconceptions that members of the

College of Agricultural Ambassadors hold about minority students.
Second, I will present several reasons why minority students are
wary of joining agricultural programs. Finally, I will describe other
agricultural programs attempts to recruit minority students.
145
j Writing Strategies: Using memo format

Many professional reports are structured using a modified memo format. Reports tend
to use a heading, like the memo, and area headers throughout the report to guide a reader
through the organization. You can use the template below to structure your report and
give you a sense of what it should look like.
The headings at the
top of the memo let
the reader know who
is writing the memo
and what the memo is
about.
The introduction of
the memo presents
your purpose for
writing and previews
what the rest of the
memo will be about.
You should make
it clear why your
audience should care
about this topic.
Headings are often

used in the body
of a memo to help
the reader see how
the information is
organized. Use bold
font to make the
headings stand out.
To:
Pi Beta Phi Executive Board
Cc:
Deborah Murray, English 100 instructor
From:
Annie Bachman
Date:
November 20, 2006
Subject: Involvement of Multicultural Greeks
Introduction
After experiencing my first collegiate homecoming week, a major thing I noticed was the absence of the multicultural Greek organizations in the mix of activities. I find this lack of participation opposite of what K-State strives fordiversity. I have done some research to find out
who or what this deficit can be attributed to: communication barriers, event conflicts, and a
lack of inclusion of Multicultural Greeks.
Communication Barriers
In my research, I focused most on the fraternities and sororities that are members of the
National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC) and the National Association of Latino Fraternal
Organizations (NALFO) on campus. I sent an email to chapter presidents but got little response until Amanda Ebert, the president of Sigma Lambda Gamma, provided an informative response to my questions. Along with the insight she provided, her response also
implied that the issue in question was an even more sensitive subject than I had thought.
She said she would be surprised if [I] got any response to this email [because] it is worded
poorly and comes off as complete ignorance (Ebert). I reread my first email, and didnt
find anything terribly offensive, but I got the feeling that events in the past gave me an ignorant predisposition in her eyes. Since she and her sorority sisters are a minority group,
she probably deals with a lot of ignorance and prejudice from others, which immediately made her doubt my motives for contacting her. She also probably read into my word
choice and phrases, making me sound ignorant, despite what I actually said in the email.
However, I sent an apology email asking again for more feedback, but to no avail; I only
received one more response from Sigma Lambda Beta, the Latino fraternity. So I decided
to narrow my focus to the Gammas and their involvement in the Greek system.
j Writing Strategies: Using sources appropriately

Using your sources appropriately is important to show your audience that you are an
honest writer who has supported your ideas with credible sources. Of course, avoiding
plagiarism is part of projecting this professional image. To write papers that are free from
146
plagiarism, you must know how to quote, paraphrase, and summarize while acknowledging that you are doing so. You also must be able to construct a works cited page.
Quoting and Paraphrasing
According to Technical Communication, 7th ed. by Mike Markel, you should always
document:
Quotations from a written source or interview, no matter the length.
Ideas, opinions, or concepts that you have gathered from your research.
Graphics from written or electronic sources.3
If you are unsure as to whether documentation is needed for a particular piece of information, document that source. Doing so will avoid any unintentional plagiarism. The
MLA documentation system (and most others) requires you to document your sources
with both parenthetical references in the text and a full citation on the works cited page.
In general, observe the guidelines below for quoting and paraphrasing.
When quoting be sure to
Copy the quote exactly as written. If you must make changes to the tense or capitalization to fit your text, enclose your modifications in square brackets [ ].
Use an ellipsis () to indicate any words youve left out of a quoted passage.
When paraphrasing be sure to
Read the source carefully to make sure you clearly understand the authors meaning.
Put the source aside and, in your own words, write a paraphrase of the passage.
Check the original source against your paraphrase to make sure you have maintained
the sources meaning but have not used the original phrasing.
Change both the wording and the sentence structure.
One common problem students have when paraphrasing is borrowing too much of the
original sources phrasing, resulting in text that is not an exact quotation but is not truly a
paraphrase. This problem is often called mosaic plagiarism because it is as if the student
has created a mosaic of her/his own words and the original. Below are examples of an
original source and one students mosaic plagiarism of that source.
The Source
The truth is that with or without affirmative action almost any high school graduate
who can read, write and do the multiplication tablesand a lot who can do none of
those things wellcan go to college today. Its a buyers market. Schools bid against one
another for students, using financial incentives and other inducements. Many institutions admit almost everyone who applies. Others, including such well-regarded schools
as Michigan, Tulane, Wisconsin, Auburn, Ohio State, Purdue, and American University
in Washington, admit 70 percent to 90 percent of applicants.
Harwood, Richard. Debating Without Facts. The Washington Post. 12 Jan. 1998: A17.
From Mark Markel Technical Communication 7th ed. Boston: Bedford/St. Martins, 2004, 8283.
147
Mosaic Plagiarism
Whether affirmative action exists or not almost any high school graduate who can read,
write, and do basic mathand some of those who cantcan get into college these days.
Its a buyers market. Schools use financial incentives to bid against each other for students, and many universities admit most everyone who applies (Harwood A17).
Activity: Plagiarize or Paraphrase?

Read the original source below and answer the questions about the sample student texts.
The Source Text
With changing social conditions the private act of nursing was transferred to the public work-place and carried with it the vestiges of its private realm features. When such
emotional labour is brought into the public market-place it behaves like a commodity
with a demand and exchange value determined by the needs of the market. It constructs
emotions as public acts which can be bought, sold and controlled through education
and training. They are removed from the private to the public domain where they are
processed, standardized and subjected to hierarchical control (qtd. in Hochschild 147).
Crowe, Marsha. The Nurse-Patient Relationship: A Consideration of Its Discursive Context. Journal of Advanced Nursing 31 (2000): 962967. Print.
Student As Text
Crowe especially focuses on the theoretical aspects of how the economy interacts with
nursing. According to Crowe, when emotional work is brought into the public marketplace it acts like a commodity with a demand and exchange value determined by market
forces. Emotions, therefore, become public acts which can be bought, sold, and controlled through education and training (965).
1. Would you classify this as plagiarism? Why or why not?
2. What can Student A do to improve this citation?
Student Bs Text
An application of a Marxist perspective to nursing tracks how capitalismespecially the
dynamics of the marketplaceaffects the roles of nurses and even displaces them from
their own emotions. Like the skills of other workers, capitalism deems the private, personal emotions as public acts which can be bought and sold. These emotions, according
to Hochschild, become removed from the private to the public domain where they are
processed, standardized and subjected to hierarchical control (147).
1. Would you classify this as plagiarism? Why or why not?
2. What can Student B do to ensure that this use of a source would not be classified as
academic misconduct?
148
j Constructing a Works Cited Page

Below you will find examples of some of the most commonly used MLA citation formats
for works cited pages. If you have further questions, you might consult Hale Librarys
home page at www.lib.k-state.edu or the MLA guide at the Purdue Online Writing Lab
(owl.english.purdue.edu). Note that while the examples below are numbered, that is simply for the sake of clarity. Entries on a works cited page should not be numbered; instead,
they should be listed alphabetically. Additionally, all entries should be double-spaced and
there should be no spaces between entries.
1. A Scholarly Journal Article Retrieved from a Library Database
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Journal Volume
Number (Date published): Page #Page #. Name of database. Medium of publication. Date you accessed the material.
Ulrich, Clare. My Memory, Myself. Human Ecology 32 (2004): 26. Expanded Academic ASAP. Web. 15 Nov. 2004.
2. A Magazine Article Retrieved from a Database
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Magazine Date
published: Page #Page #. Name of database. Medium of publication. Date you
accessed the material.
Schuck, Peter H. Affirmative Action is a Poor Public Policy. The Chronicle of Higher
Education 2 May 2003: B10B11. Expanded Academic ASAP. Web. 6 May 2004.
3. A Newspaper Article Retrieved from a Database
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Newspaper Date
published: Page #Page #. Name of database. Medium of publication. Date you
accessed the material.
Raspberry, William. Affirmative Action: We Know Better. The Washington Post
7 Nov. 1997: A25. LexisNexis. Web. 23 Feb. 2004.
4. An Article from a Journal Republished Online

Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Journal Volume
Number (Date published). Medium of publication. Date you accessed the
material.
Matthews, Joe. White Guys. Standards: The International Journal of Multicultural
Studies 5.2 (1996). Web. 13 Mar. 2004.
5. A Section of a Web page without an Author
Name of section. Name of Web site. Date. Name of Sponsor or Publisher*. Date of
resource creation**. Medium of publication. Date of access.

* If no sponsor or publisher is available, use n.p.
**If no publication/creation date is available, use n.d.
149
Mission Statement. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative.
2004. Web. 6 May 2004.
6. A Section of a Web page with an Author
Authors last name, Authors first name. Name of Section. Name of website. Date of
resource creation. Name of sponsor or publisher. Medium of publication. Date
of access.
Schwartz, Howard. Scholars Association Backs Michigan Civil Rights Initiative.
Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. Michigan Civil Rights Initiative. 23 Jan. 2004.
Web. 19 Sept. 2004.
7. A Magazine Article
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Magazine Day
month year: pages. Medium of publication.
Will, George F. Disorder in the Schools: Too Many College Students Have Neither
the Aptitudes Nor the Attitudes Needed in College. Newsweek 13 Apr. 1998: 84.
Print.
8. A Newspaper Article
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Article. Title of Newspaper Day
month year: pages. Medium of publication.
Harwood, Richard. Debating Without Facts. The Washington Post 12 Jan. 1998: A17.
Print.
9. An Essay in an Edited Collection or Anthology

Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Essay. Title of Book. Ed. Editors
first name and last name. Place of publication: Publisher, Publication date. Page
numbers the entire essay covers. Medium of publication.
Steele, Shelby. A Negative Vote. Debating Affirmative Action. Ed. Nick Mills. New
York: Delta Paperbacks, 1994. 3747. Print.
10. A Book
Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Book. Place of publication: Publisher,
Publication date. Medium of publication.
Kellough, J. Edward. Understanding Affirmative Action: Politics, Discrimination, and
the Search for Justice. Washington, D.C.: Georgetown University Press, 2006.
150
11. An Encyclopedia Entry

Authors last name, Authors first name. Title of Entry. Title of Encyclopedia. Edition
of Encyclopedia (if not the first edition). Ed. Editors first name then last name.
Date of publication. Page number.
If there is no author for the entry, begin your citation with the title of the entry itself.
Green, Denise ONeil. Criticisms of Affirmative Action. Affirmative Action: An
Encyclopedia. Ed. James Beckman. 2004. 2024.
12. An Interview or E-Mail
Interviewees last name, Interviewees first name. Type of interview. Date of the
Interview.
Powers, Robert. Personal interview. 16 May 2006.
Powers, Robert. Telephone interview. 18 May 2006.
E-mail writers last name, e-mail writers first name. E-mail to _____________________.
Date.
Batson, Caroline. E-mail to the author. 27 July 2006.
151
jReport Using MLA Citation Style

The student sample below, from Robin Moshers spring 2006 class, has been annotated
to point out how the writer has used MLA citation style to help her readers clearly
understand her use of sources. To illustrate a variety of sources, some of the sources
have been adjusted.
Date:
To:
Cc:
From:
March 30, 2006

Dean Michael Holen, Kansas State College of Education
M. Duane Nellis, Provost; Robin Mosher, Instructor
Sarah M. Anderson
Subject: Providing Adequate Bilingual Education in Kansas

Here Sarah uses an
attributive tag and
citation to indicate
that Rubick has
quoted from another
person, Donnelly, in
the source. The qtd.
in in the citation
stands for quoted in.
Currently, providing adequate bilingual education is a major issue in the state of Kansas. Ac-
cording to Susan Donnelly, program manager of Project Care, a program related to English as a
Second Language (ESL) education in Kansas, between 1994 and 2004, ESL enrollment experienced a 325 percent increase (qtd. in Rubick). As a state university, K-State is responsible for educating students to be bilingual educators. My goal in this memo is to inform the K-State College of
Education on related programs used here and at other universities that promote the development
of more bilingual educators.

First, I would like to look at how K-State has previously addressed the issue of providing ade-
quate bilingual education through the Bilingual Education Students Interacting to Obtain Success
Sarah introduces this
source and shows it is
credible by using an
attributive tag.
(BESITOS) program. The program, according to an article in Ovations, the Kansas State University Foundations Newsletter, is the result of a federal grant awarded in 2000 to enhance the number of bilingual educators (Montgomery). BESITOS gave scholarships to 32 bilingual students so
that they could pursue a degree in bilingual education at K-State (Montgomery). By supporting
students who might not otherwise have been able to attend the university, K-State was able to provide 32 well-qualified bilingual educators to the state of Kansas. K-State could extend the reach of
this program by attempting to gain even more funding, enabling more students to get involved.
After this paraphrase,

Sarah uses a
parenthetical citation.
Next, I would like to look at Texas A&M UniversityKingsville. The university is home to the
nations first doctoral program in bilingual education (Garza). Texas A&MKingsville is certainly
doing a great deal to provide bilingual educators for the state of Texas. By having such an extensive
program of study dedicated to bilingual education, they are educating people on the issues surrounding bilingual education and garnering interest in this area. According to Emma Garza, a former student of the program who is now an instructor, bilingual students can only succeed when
supported by colleges through their education of bilingual educators (qtd. in Garza). Through the
effort to garner this interest, many students are excited to study bilingual education, and Texas
A&MKingsville is able to develop many bilingual educators.
This source doesnt

have an author, so
Sarah uses a short
form of the title in
the citation.
152
Now that we have looked at two bilingual education programs, I want to look at a program
that is used to get university students involved in bilingual education. At Northern Illinois University, education majors spend time in area schools through a program called Reaching Out
Through Art and Reading (ROAR) (Student Tutors). ROAR helps bilingual elementary students
learn English (Student Tutors). As a part of the program, students plan a lesson for each week
that involves reading a story and working on English vocabulary with a game or art project (Student Tutors). A program such as this can get students involved in the bilingual education process
and get them interested in pursuing bilingual education as a career. The founder of the program,
Chris Carger, expresses that the aim of the program is to give students a chance to work with this
type of children and get hands-on experience in bilingual education (Student Tutors).

After looking at the two programs used at Texas A&M UniversityKingsville and at Northern
Illinois University, I would like to address the possibility of applying them here at K-State. In an
email to me, Dean Michael Holen stated that Kansas consists of areas where the school population has up to seventy percent bilingual students. This alone demonstrates the need for more education of bilingual educators. Areas of Texas had high demand for bilingual educators and were
able to meet that demand because of the doctoral program at A&MKingsville (Garza). It would
take a lot of work and money to implement such a program at K-State, but it may be the solution
Here a parenthetical
citation is not needed
because Sarah has
used an attributive tag
that includes the name
of the author.
Kansas is looking for. Though, if perhaps this seems too drastic, there is the alternative practiced
by Northern Illinois University. Requiring far less money and perhaps less effort than researching and implementing the doctoral program, the founding of a program like ROAR could also be
useful in promoting study of bilingual education. Because of the hands-on aspect of the program,
students get a first-hand experience in working with students whose first language is not English
(Student Tutors). Implementing such a program in Manhattan could inspire education students
to study bilingual education or at least a foreign language so that they may better be able to help
bilingual populations in Kansas.

In this parenthetical
citation after a direct
quote, Sarah doesnt
put a page number
because the source is
an electronic one.
Across the nation, schools are struggling to provide quality education for bilingual students.
Schools in Kansas are certainly facing this problem. Through this report, I hope I have informed
the College of Education of programs used in various parts of the nation to improve the quality of
bilingual education and to provide more bilingual educators. As a public state institution, K-State
will need to strive to address the problems Kansas faces in bilingual education.
Works Cited
Garza, Adriana. A&MK Made Bilingual Education Mark. Corpus Christi Caller-Times 27 Feb.
2006: B2. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
Holen, Michael. Re: Making Diversity Programs on Campus Work. E-mail to author.
6 Mar. 2006.
In her works cited list,

Sarah lists the entries
in alphabetical order
by the first word of
the entry and indents
the second and
subsequent lines.
Montgomery, Joe. Taylor-made Teachers Aid. Kansas State University Foundation.

Ovations (2003): 1. Print.
Rubick, Joanna. Kansas State U. Gets $700,000 for ESL programs. Kansas State Collegian
7 Sept. 2004. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
The Student Tutors at Northern Illinois U. Gain Experience. Northern Star
7 Oct. 2005. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
Because this source doesnt have an author, Sarah lists it by its title. Since the first word of the
title is the, she uses the second word when alphabetizing.
153
154
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Informative Report
This activity is designed to give you practice responding to specific features of this assignment. Your essay will pass through several stages of readers, who will comment on one
specific part or aspect of your paper.
jDirections
Tear this sheet out of your book and pass it, along with your informative report, to your
partner on your left. Your instructor will call out when you need to pass the report again.
You will need to go fast. For responses that require a 1 through 5 ranking, 1 is the lowest
and 5 represents the highest score.
Reader #1: Name _________________________________________
Test the introduction. After reading the introduction, circle the writers main claim
regarding the diversity issue. If you cant find the claim, try to figure out what it will be and
write it down in the margin.
What is the connection of the audience to the topic? Why would they care about it?
How well does the writer forecast what will happen in the body of the informative report?

1 2 3 4 5
What else can the writer do in the introduction?
155
Reader #2: Name_________________________________________
Test the first body paragraph. Skim the introduction to get the gist of the report, and
then carefully read the first main body paragraph. Circle the main point or topic sentence
(the exposition). Put brackets around the examples the writer uses.
What does the writer say about the relevancy of the information to the audience?
How could the writer improve this paragraph?
Reader #3: Name_________________________________________
Test the focus and organization. Quickly read the remaining body paragraphs.
How well does each paragraph explain how the sources connect to the main point of the
report?
Place an X in places where you get lost or confused about what the writer is trying to
say.
Underline the transitional words that you find. What additional transitions are needed?
156
Reader #4: Name_________________________________________
Test the MLA style and tone. Examine the body of the report for how the writer introduces facts and quotes (attributive tags).
How well does the writer introduce quotes or paraphrases? Are additional attributive
tags necessary? Make notes in the margins where more attributive tags are needed.

1 2 3 4 5
Write CITATION? in places where you think the writer needs to include parenthetical
information about the source.
Write TONE? in the places where you think the writer is no longer providing a balanced account of the issue, but instead is arguing for one side of the issue over another.
j Debriefing Discussion
When you get your report back, discuss your report with your classmates, focusing first
on its strengths and then on areas with which they had problems. Make sure that you
look for Xs (organization confusion), CITATION? (MLA citation problem), and
TONE? (tone problem).
As you revise, use your classmates comments as well as additional points that came up
in the debriefing discussion. Finally, before you print out your report, check your works
cited page to make sure it follows MLA style. Have you
Capitalized the titles of articles and books, and the names of websites?
Placed citations in alphabetical order according to the first word in the citation?
Italicized titles of books and websites?
Used MLA abbreviation and date styles (for example, 27 Feb. 2005)?
Included your access dates for websites?
Included database information?
Double-spaced your works cited page and indented inch after the first line of each
entry?
Additionally, make sure that each parenthetical citation in your report also appears in the
works cited. Make sure that everything that appears in the works cited list is also used in
the paper itself.
157
Notes:
158
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Informative Report
When handing in your report, make sure to include:
A printout or copy of all your sources. Be sure to highlight or bracket the parts of the
sources you paraphrase or quote from.
Follow report format.
Include your last name and page number on the second and all following pages.
Use 12-point font.
Criteria
The topic has been narrowed to a manageable and
researchable issue. (focus and purpose)
A university audience has been identified; the
context for why this audience would be interested
in the issue has been provided. (focus and
purpose)
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
The introduction highlights a main point and

forecasts the purpose, goals, and structure of the
report. The report uses an organizational pattern
that makes it easy for readers to follow. (focus and
purpose; organization)
The sources are integrated and meaningfully used,
and there is a balance between the writers ideas
and the source information. (development)
Sufficient examples and details have been taken
from the required number of outside sources.
These sources are credible, relevant, and recent.
(development)
MLA citation style has been followed, including
parenthetical citation, attributive tags, and works
cited page. (style and editing)
The report has been edited and proofread.
(style and editing)
159
Notes:
160
j informative report examples

Below is the first draft of Kyle Heatons paper on Free Speech Zones on college campuses.
Kyle wrote this paper for Judy McClendons class in the spring 2006 semester. As you
read Kyles draft, think about how he might revise his report to improve its focus/purpose, development, organization, style/tone, and editing.
Free Speech on Campus

Kyle Heaton
Date:
To:
Cc:
From:
Subject:
March 27, 2006

Dr. Bosco, Dean of Student Life
Judy McClendon, English 100 Instructor
Kyle Heaton
Free Speech on Campus
Recently I have done some research regarding our campus policy of free speech.
The courtyard behind the Student Union building, known as the Student Union
Plaza, is known to students as a free speech zone. Many students, as well as myself,
have observed this ordinance in full effect. During the time period when the ProLife activists were visiting the campus last fall, they erected several message boards
in the Student Union Plaza on which students were encouraged to write whatever
they wanted. Some students greatly appreciated the opportunity to voice their otherwise unconstitutional opinions; that is, under normal circumstances they would
not be allowed to write certain things. Yet some were greatly offended by comments
that were made on those message boards. Other students and I often wonder if such
limitless speech is actually constitutionally allowable, and if so, how it is beneficial
to the student body? I feel that you, Dr. Bosco, are a powerful speaker, and possess
the authority and ability to clarify the true meaning of free speech, and its relevance
to campus life and activities. I took the liberty of doing some research regarding the
matter. I hope that this report and the research it contains, along with your knowledge and experience, will aid you in your job as Dean of Student Life. Perhaps with
this information you can answer the questions that many students here are asking
at K-State today. What is free speech? When is speech protected and when is it not?
Why is it necessary for speech to be limited in the first place? These are a few of
the things many students are asking. It is my hope that you can shed some light
on the matter and improve the bonds between students of all different beliefs and
backgrounds.
During my search for information regarding free speech, I found several articles that
pertained to this topic and the college environment. The first is an article regarding
free speech at Wisconsin University. The second is a speech at the commencement
of Eastern Illinois University. It focuses on the restraints in our rights that make us
truly free. The third is an article taken from a popular journal written about censorship. A fourth article, published by the Journal of Communication, covers the topic
of hate speech and its consequences. With these sources one can see both sides
of the spectrum and hopefully make accurate judgments on what actions should
betaken.
161
Free speech has always been a topic of interest on the college campus. The forming of opinions is inevitable and the voicing of those opinions is only natural. Since
some words are considered hate speech for certain reasons, they are deemed inappropriate and unconstitutional. The United States Constitution clearly states that
hate speech is not protected in the first amendment. Hate speech, therefore, is not
free speech. These days, however, it is becoming more and more popular to believe
that speech should not be censored, especially among college students. In Max Skidmores article Censorship: Who Needs It? he explains how censorship is not necessary and often is ineffective since truth has a habit of finding its way into the light
anyway. Skidmore states, The free flow of information depends upon much more
than the mere absence of overt censorship, governmental or otherwise. This concept of free speech is most commonly found in the world of art and literature. The
problem is the lack of definition in the law. If free speech is limited in the areas such
as hate speech, which is by definition offensive, then should art and literature that
could also be found offensive be censored? Many students and administrative officers say yes. Yet it still seems unreasonable to block the creations of human talent
and inspiration. I think many students and most professors would agree.
When the University of Wisconsin was reevaluating its policy regarding free speech,
the administration agreed on a stricter stance against controversial speech. As
writer Alan Kors explains, Everything lost protection if the hearing rejected the
claim of protection and found that the behavior was commonly considered by persons of a particular gender, race, cultural background, ethnicity, sexual orientation,
or handicap to be demeaning to members of that group. For example, say a religious
group would be strongly offended by explicit sexual content that may be portrayed
in an artistic play or piece of literature. That groups offense would void that piece of
artwork the protection of the first amendment. If such forms of speech were allowed
for public viewing, many students would be offended. They feel that they have the
right to not have to see or read such things. If explicit material is displayed in a
public area then most people expect the content to be mild and appropriate. The
law over this topic is not clear and certainly not stated anywhere in or around the
courtyard.
Calvert asserts, Hateful messages cumulate an ambiance that categorizes and, consequently, causes harm. They create and maintain power structures. Hate speech
not only promotes ill feelings toward one another, but sometimes leads to violence.
Also, hate speech perpetuates the problem by causing a feeling of superiority from
the group who is using the hate speech: Hate speech promotes and fosters not only
feelings of inferiority but also facilitates unequal treatment of groups based on race,
gender, and sexual preference. If one repeatedly hears that others are inferior based
on their skin color, color soon becomes a badge of inferiority and justification for
the denial of opportunity and equal treatment (Calvert). According to this idea,
speech that is subject to offend groups has a chance of provoking violence and justifying the speech itself. When hate speech is used the victims are often viewed as
inferior simply because people belittled them with their speech. Then a general view
or stereotype is formed. This adds to the problem, and discrimination is often the
result.
162
Some students feel that free speech has never been free and should remain that
way. In Thomas Johnsons speech Those Wise Restraints Which Make Us Free, he
states that free speech has always been at the expense of other rights. This means
that certain rights must be forfeited in order to uphold others. So we then have to
choose which rights are more important to us. He goes on to say that we set boundaries in order to live our lives in a way that we see as having the most freedom.
Some of those wise restraints are compulsory, the Law of the Land. But the ones
which really matter, the ones which make us truly free, are the ones we impose
upon ourselves, ones learned without the need of any court decision or any code of
conduct to compel it (Johnson). Many students agree with Johnson when he says
that in order to have the best freedoms, some rights must yield to others; the problem is which right is more important: the right to free speech, or the protection
from explicit material? A large number of students feel that free speech is extremely
important. Without free speech, some people maintain that the true expression of
the individual, something that K-State takes pride in, would be lost. You cant censor
art, but at the same time you cannot display explicit material in a public place. Art
and literature are huge parts of our culture and cannot be sacrificed. A compromise
must be developed.
There are many sides to this particular area of discussion, further reassuring me in
my choice to write to you. I hope these arguments and their supporters will help you
make an educated decision with regards to free speech on campus. I realize that the
matter is sensitive and important to many. I trust your judgment and ability to lead. I
am looking forward to any new developments in these areas I have spoken of in this
letter. I feel that if the guidelines were more clearly stated, students would be more
apt to understand and less likely to take offense to things said, and also less likely to
create hate speech in the first place. With boundaries clearly marked, this campus
can improve on its already wonderful state. j
Works Cited
Calvert, Clay. Hate Speech and Its Harms: A Communication Theory Perspective. Journal of Communication 47.1 (1997): 419. LexisNexis Academic. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
Johnson, Thomas. Those Wise Restraints Which Make Us FreeTo Fight Hate Speech.
Vital Speeches of the Day 67.21 (2001): 662665. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 13 Mar.
2006.
Kors, Alan Charles. Cracking the Speech Code. Reason 31.3 (Jul. 1999): 30. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 13 Mar. 2006.
Skidmore, Max J. Censorship: Who Needs It? How the Conventional Wisdom Restricts
Informations Free Flow. Journal of Popular Culture 35.3 (2001): 143156. OCLCFirstSearch. Web. 14 Mar. 2006.
163
Jessica Heller wrote this informative report in Phillip Hamiltons Expos I class. It appeared
in the 2008 Prairie Lights.
International and American Student Interaction

Jessica Heller
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:
International Student Center

Jessica Heller
April 3, 2008
International and American Student Interaction
Recently, I have conducted research on the cultural barriers between international

students and American students and the programs K-State offers to these groups.
Some of the barriers that international students face when coming to an American
university are language barriers, cultural differences, and intimidation. I am directing this memo to the International Student Center because you provide essential
immigration services for nearly 1000 international students who are involved in
educational programs at K-State (About).
I became aware of this cultural barrier when I was asked the question, How many
times a week do you have a real conversation with an international student? Unfortunately, my participants answers indicated no interaction at all between themselves and international students. The interaction between an American student
and an international student often boils down to a smile or a hello as they pass
each other from one day to the next. One-on-one interaction or even mixed group
interaction is rare. The sad truth is that many minority groups feel unwelcome on
university campuses. They feel as though they are uninvited guests in a strange land
(Heggins and Jackson).
As of September 2007, there were 1,200 international students enrolled at Kansas
State. (K-State Posts). According to Eugene McCormack, the competition for foreign students has become heated and complex because they provide some of the
strongest talent universities have, and the money they spend on tuition is extremely
beneficial to each institution (A34). The desire for international students at universities is evident all around the nation. That is why making K-State a place where
international students feel welcome and connected to the community and domestic
students would be beneficial. Because you are the department that helps international students adjust to American culture and life at K-State, you could benefit from
finding new ways to help the two student groups interact.
The problem K-State faces is not that either group does not want to relate to the
other, it is that they just do not know how. Bradley Shaw, associate professor of modern languages at K-State admitted, I think that we are sometimes a little hesitant or
a little reticent when were dealing with things we dont understand or dont know
(qtd. in Campbell). The most common difficulty foreign and domestic students face
is the language barrier. Both groups fail to communicate simply because they cannot understand each other. It is natural for people to be drawn to those who they can
164
communicate with. Not only is language a problem but so are cultural differences.
International students often do not understand or feel comfortable with American
culture, so they try to find other people who are like them and can relate to them.
American students are so used to American culture, so they find it hard to remove
themselves from it and learn about another culture. Daniel Aguilar, a current K-State
student, said, The first reaction you have is to go look for the people who come from
the same background as you (qtd. in Campbell). The third barrier is intimidation.
Both groups are intimidated by the other and most often are too scared to take the
initiative to step out and try to build a relationship. Although language, cultures,
and intimidation can be barriers, there are ways to overcome them.
The three barriers and the lack of interaction between foreign and international students are problems, but there are programs and ideas to increase interaction. The
University of Missouri has a program called Email Partners. This program pairs
incoming international students with current MU students before they arrive on
campus (Email Partners). By adopting this program, the International Student
Center could provide current K-State students with the opportunity to answer foreign students questions about the university and Manhattan before they even arrive.
This would not only allow the international students to have a smoother transition,
but it would also give them a new friend before they came to K-State. It is a great way
to get K-State students involved, too. Both groups would benefit from each other and
enhance overall student interaction. This program could help reduce the cultural
barriers because the international student would gain information about K-State
and also about life in Manhattan. Intimidation could be reduced as well because a
friendship is automatically being developed.
Iowa State University is another school that has an excellent program. Their program is called International Peer Assistants (International Peer Assistants). Similar to the MU program, these peers are available to answer any academic questions
or questions about university life in general. If K-State would adopt this program,
these peers would be an excellent source for international students to learn about
activities and services at K-State. These peer assistants could be fellow international
students who have been at K-State for a while and American Students. The peer
assistants could be made up of volunteers or of students satisfying a requirement in
a multicultural class. This program could be another way to break cultural barriers.
A third program could be one that focuses on language barriers. An international

student and an American student could be paired up together based on what language they spoke and what language they are trying to learn. For example, if an
international student from Columbia is studying here at K-State, she could be paired
up with an American student who is learning Spanish. Both could help one another
learn and progress in the others language. Not only would this help break down a
language barrier, but it would also be another way to start a friendship. Again, this
program could be a requirement for students in some foreign language courses or
solely voluntary.
After doing research, it was obvious that domestic students and professors notice
the lack of interaction. Aguilar states, I think there is a disconnection between both
165
communities unfortunately (qtd. in Campbell). Aguilar also believes that the disconnection is a lack of communication, but he goes on to say that both groups
international and domesticcan benefit by forming stronger connections. Shaw,
moreover, believes that learning more thoroughly about people from different backgrounds is not something Americans or International students should be afraid of.
Shaw also states that by learning about other cultures, languages, and religions, many
of those fears and concerns go away (qtd. in Campbell). Both Aguilar and Shaw recognize the problem here at K-State. While they both see the disconnection and the
fear of interaction, they also go on to explain why it is important for domestic and foreign students to build relationships and benefit from one another. K-State can begin
to break down these barriers and create a more diverse environment with your help.
K-State does offer multiple programs that are geared towards international students,
but only one is focused on uniting domestic and foreign students. This program
is called International Buddies (Programs). By making more programs available
that are geared toward both domestic and international students together, it will
increase the interest in getting involved. As a result, more interaction will develop
and friendships will be built. Finally, by emphasizing the importance and benefits of
building relationships with people of different backgrounds, it will reduce some of
that initial fear and help create more diverse interaction at K-State. j
Works Cited
About the International Student Center. International Student Center. 18 Oct. 2007.
Kansas State University. Web. 1 Apr. 2008.
Campbell, Molly. Many American, International Students Fail to Interact. Kansas State
Collegian 13 Mar. 2008: 1. Print.
Email Partners. International Center. 30 Nov. 2005. University of Missouri. Web. 27 Mar.
2008.
Heggins, Willie J., and Jerlando F.L. Jackson. Understanding the College Experience for
Asian International Students at a Midwestern Research University. College Student
Journal 37.3 (2003): 397. Expanded Academic ASAP. Web. 16 Mar. 2008.
International Peer Assistants. International Students and Scholars. 29 Aug. 2007. Iowa
State University. Web. 27 Mar. 2008.
K-State Posts Record Enrollment Totals. Media Relations. 20 Sept. 2007. Kansas State
University. Web. 2 Apr. 2008.
McCormack, Eugene. Worldwide Competition for International Students Heats Up.
The Chronicle of Higher Education 16 Nov. 2007: A34. ProQuest. Web. 24 Mar. 2008.
Programs. International Student Center. 25 Jan. 2008. Kansas State University. Web. 1
Apr. 2008.
166
Marlena Birkel wrote this informative report in Melissa Wanklyns Expos I class.
LGBT, Young, and on the Street

Marlena Birkel
Editors Note: This informative report is addressed to parents of LGBT adolescents.
The Situation
In the United States, identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender (LGBT)
has become more socially acceptable than in the past. However, there still are many
obstacles this group of people must face as they struggle to be viewed as equals in
modern society. Unfortunately, many young LGBT people are not even accepted for
who they are in their own homes by their own parents. According to the National
Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 26 percent [of adolescents] were kicked out of their
homes after coming out to their parents (Ray 2). Compared to heterosexual homeless youth, LGBT homeless youth face even more challenges because of their sexual
identity. According to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, after finding themselves on the street, it is only a matter of time before LGBT youth encounter various challenges, such as education attainment, mental health issues, substance abuse,
and risky sexual behavior. The stress of life on the street often leads the homeless
towards various coping strategies, which in time will only worsen the situation. Parents of gay children should know the challenges that gay homeless youth face before
considering kicking their gay teen children out of the house.
Problems at Home
As young LGBT people begin the process of coming out, some of the first people
consulted are parents. Most would expect the unconditional love of parents to be a
safe haven for children to be themselves, but this is not the case. After these young
people decide to tell their families about their sexual identity, half experience negative reactions (Ray 2). The level of severity varies from case to case, from vicious
name-calling to beatings and even rape. Shannell Jordan, like many other young
people, felt unsafe at home after a relative reacted to a rumor that she was gay by
encouraging a friend to rape her when she was only twelve years old (Urbina 1).
This experience caused her to run away from home and begin a life on the streets.
This story is not unique. Whether this discrimination comes from lack of knowledge or from the possibility of ruining a family reputation, families should know
that kicking a child out of the house because of their sexual orientation will not
straighten them out so much as put them in harms way.
Shelters
Shelters are not always the safe havens they are meant to be. There are disproportional percentages of gays on the streets and in homeless shelters. Approximately
20 to 40 percent of homeless people identify as homosexual or transgender whereas
only 510 percent of the entire population is homosexual (Crary 1). As mentioned
earlier, this huge number stems from youth being thrown out of parents homes.
Homeless shelters do their best to serve those in need, but many shelters are prejudiced against LGBT. This is partially because most of the shelters in the United
States are religiously affiliated, so if an organizations core belief is that homosexuality is wrong, that organization (and its committed leaders and volunteers) may
167
not respect a clients sexual orientation or gender identity and may expose LGBT
youth to discriminatory treatment (Ray 5). In shelters, youth are bullied because
of their sexuality, but staff will not intervene because of their own prejudices. One
account of bullying is told in a New York Times article about a homosexual man who
was beaten nearly unconscious in a shelter by four men as the staff did nothing to
intervene but only closed the doors (Urbina 1). Parents should be aware of the false
sense of security provided by shelters to LGBT youth.
Another problem is the lack of government intervention, especially at the federal
level. According to one source, There are currently no federal programs specifically
designed to meet the needs of gay and transgender homeless youth, and there are
no federal protections, and few state laws, in place to keep these youth from being
discriminated against while accessing federally funded homeless services (Boldt
3). One of the reasons this is possible is because the government does not want to
regulate religious charities as confirmed by an internal Salvation Army document
obtained by the Washington Post in 2001 that stated the White House had made a
firm commitment to issue a regulation protecting religious charities from state and
city efforts to prevent discrimination against gays in hiring and providing benefits
(Ray 5). Because of this tacit government discrimination, there are no consequences
for shelters that allow these violent acts to occur or for refusal of care. Having shelters discriminate against LGBT leads the group away from help and forces them to
be more independent.
Education Attainment
Since life on the street requires so much effort, not all homeless youth will finish
high school. The majority of homeless youth are enrolled in school as supported by
the U.S. Department of Education Archive, which states, Approximately 87 percent of school-age homeless children and youth are enrolled in school, although only
about 77 percent attend school regularly (Education 1). This is an impressive statistic considering school is most likely not a first priority to food, safety and shelter.
Although these youth have the desire to attend school, a high-school diploma is a far
reach for the homeless because of other stressors, which become significant distractions. In addition to stress and discrimination-related challenges on the street, many
LGBT youth also face these challenges in school. Peers will harass LGBTs in school,
making it unpleasant to attend, even if LGBT homeless students value education.
Homeless gay young people are much less likely to complete a high school education,
or for that matter, go to college. With a high-school diploma being such a challenge
to obtain and a college degree nearly impossible, it is incredibly unlikely for a homeless youth to find a comfortable, successful career. Parents should be aware of the
unlikelihood of financial success for children kicked out of the house.
Mental Health
Because of stress, homeless LGBT youth are at a much higher risk of mental illness. The homosexual homeless have even higher rates of depression than heterosexual homeless. In fact, Ian Urbina states that in an eight-city study published in
The Child Welfare Journal last year, [it was] found that gay homeless youths were
more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide while living on the streets than
heterosexual homeless youths (1). Discrimination and violence contribute to this
168
difference. As difficult as life on the street is for heterosexuals, it is even more so

for the LGBT community because of the additional discrimination. A significant
part of mental health depends on the feelings of safety and trust, which LGBT youth
tend to lack. The fear associated with an unsafe home and the distrust developed
toward loved ones who kicked them out of their home fosters a tendency for homeless LGBT youth to have emotional problems related to trust in future relationships.
It is important for parents of LGBT children to remember that humans need a safe
haven in order to establish a sense of mental and physical security. These youth will
not easily find such a place if kicked out of the house.
Substance Abuse
To cope with the stress of discrimination and life on the street, LGBT homeless
youth tend to develop issues with substance abuse shortly after becoming homeless. Parents should know that forcing a child onto the streets increases their risk
of becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol. According to an article published in
the Journal of Sex Research, homosexual homeless are even more likely to develop
substance abuse problems; specifically, Lesbian females (61.4% alcohol abuse, 47.7%
drug abuse) were more likely than heterosexual females (35.5% alcohol abuse, 32.5%
drug abuse) to meet criteria for alcohol and drug abuse (Whitbeck 1). Drug and
alcohol abuse becomes a temporary escape from real life, but does not last forever.
Substance abuse is one of the only ways for LGBT homeless youth to deal with life
on the streets, but when the temporary effects wear off, stress and discrimination
are still present. Homelessness helps create a never-ending cycle of drug and alcohol
abuse and discrimination.
Risky Sexual Behavior
If the well being of their child is a priority for the parents of LGBT young people, it is
important for them to remember the consequences of the risky sexual behavior that
tends to come with homelessness. One report found that out of desperation, about
one-third of homeless gay youth engage in survival sex exchanging sex for money,
food, clothes or drugs (Crary 1). Homeless youth will also turn to prostitution out
of hopelessness to make some sort of income. The chance that safe sex is considered in these situations is slim; therefore, the chance of contracting life-changing
STDs such as HIV and AIDS is high. After becoming infected with a disease, life
becomes even more complicated because health care is nearly impossible to obtain
for the homeless. Risky sexual behavior initially appears to be a way to make money
or find food or shelter, but it will only continue the vicious cycle of desperation and
depression.
Conclusion
A life on the street will only bring more challenges, danger, and sadness to lesbian,
gay, bisexual, and transgender youth if forced onto the streets. Life for young LGBT
people will be difficult enough with a home and a loving family because of societal
discrimination. As much as a parent may disapprove or be disappointed by their
childs sexual orientation, they should remember that no one deserves to be put at
risk for further discrimination, mental health issues, substance abuse, or prostitution. Because of this, parents of gay adolescents should be aware of the lifestyle
waiting for their children on the streets if they decide to kick their children out of
thehouse. j
169
Works Cited
Boldt, Blake. Street Smarts: How and Where Homeless GLBT Youth Find Support.
Out & About Newspaper 1 July 2010. ProQuest. Web. 26 Oct. 2010.
Crary, David. More Help Urged for Homeless Gay Youth. Associated Press Online
Jan. 30, 2007: 1. LexisNexis. Web. 28 Oct. 2010.
Education for Homeless Children and Youth Program: Learning to Succeed. Planning and Evaluation Service, 2002. Web. Oct. 28, 2010.
Ray, Nicholas. Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Youth: An Epidemic of
Homelessness. National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, 2006. Web. 28 Oct. 2010.
Urbina, Ian. Gay Youths Find Place to Call Home in Specialty Shelters. New York
Times 17 May 2007. ProQuest. Web. 26 Oct. 2010.
Whitbeck, Les P., et al. Mental Disorder, Subsistence Strategies, and Victimization
Among Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Homeless and Runaway Adolescents. The
Journal of Sex Research 41.4 (2004): 329342. ProQuest. Web. 31 Oct. 2010.
Brandi Worster wrote this informative report in Crystal Bandels Expos I class.
The Need for Informing Female Teenagers about Indoor Tanning

Brandi Worster
To:
From:
Date:
Subject:
CosmoGirl Editors
Brandi Worster
April 1, 2011
The Need for Informing Female Teenagers about Indoor Tanning
American culture is becoming more materialistic and that is not a bad thing unless
it is causing individuals to partake in dangerous habits. Social standards are pressuring many female teenagers to strive for perfection and beauty. One of the ideal
characteristics representing beauty is being tan. This pressure to be tan is causing
some female teenagers to have an urge they just cannot resist. They are stepping into
tanning beds every day hoping to obtain that perfect deep golden tan. It is becoming
an addictive habit, and the more one tans, the more dangerous it becomes. These
dangers are either unknown or ignored entirely. This is partly due to the lack of
information being sent their way.
It is very common for the CosmoGirl magazine to have expos columns or articles
that address topics that relate to teenagers. Some of the articles have to do with
ways to stay healthy or achieve a certain look, especially in the special prom addition. However, they have yet to publish articles about indoor tanning like Seventeen
magazine has. Since your magazine is seen as a guide for the teenage life, you would
be a great source to inform female teenagers about why their age group is pressured
to tan, what the dangers of tanning are, and what potential alternatives could better
their health.
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The objective of my memo is to inform you, the CosmoGirl editors, why it is important that female teenagers be enlightened about this dangerous habit and potential information that you can release to them. First, I will give explanations to why
female teenagers have obsessions with tanning. Secondly, I will address and clarify
the misconceptions about tanning bed light bulbs. Next, I will inform about the
effects of indoor tanning on female teenagers leading into the most dangerous problem, skin cancer. Finally, I will conclude with the importance of CosmoGirl informing teenagers about this dangerous habit and the need for promoting alternatives
and how the magazine can do this. By informing about indoor tanning and promoting alternate ways to achieve the bronze look, the magazine will gain advertisement
sales from globally sold tanning lotion products.
Why Teens Tan
When teenagers are not educated about the effects of indoor tanning and have
advertisements directed at them, it is hard to ignore or make the wise decision on
indoor tanning. Having recently graduated from high school, I noticed that tanning salon companies specifically target the teenage age group. They offer special
unlimited tanning for a low price and some, like the tanning salon in my hometown
in Colorado, even offer a fifty percent discount only to high-school students. Many
tanning industries place advertisements in high-school newspapers focusing on the
direct interest of high-school teenagers. With the help of promotions, certain times
of the year also draw the attention of teenagers to the tanning bed. During the spring
I have noticed many teenagers step into the tanning bed to bronze up for prom. The
materialistic American culture is enforcing the idea that a solid tan is attractive and
popular. Social icons promoted in magazines and on TV such as Paris Hilton and
the more recent Jersey Shore cast reinforce the value of being tan. Since being tan is
now considered as being popular, the activity of merely tanning for prom has developed into tanning all year round. Some teenagers are taking their tanning habits to
extremes by going every day of the week just to make sure they build their deep tan
to its fullest potential. In Julie Rawes Why Teens are Obsessed with Tanning, a
16-year-old Sabrina Hendershot believes that all the girls who are really tanned all
through the yeartheyre the popular girls. Also, the ideas of young males play a
huge role in the popularity of tanning among female teenagers. Many female teenagers believe that young males think the tanner they are, the more attractive they are.
This may be true at the moment, but eventually the health effects of tanning kick in
and the attractiveness diminishes. Since teenagers are trying to achieve this attractiveness, they look for guidance in the celebrities magazines promote. CosmoGirl
can use other social icons, such as former Miss Maryland Britney Lietz Cicala, to
promote a healthier look and establish a new idea of what is beautiful.
Misconceptions
Due to misleading advertisements of safe beds, more teenagers step into tanning
beds unprotected, meaning these teenagers neglect UV-protecting lotion, eyewear,
and the basic knowledge of the dangers of tanning. According to the article, Indoor
Tanning: You Must Read This by Richard Asarch, the truth is that tanning beds use
about 95% UVA and 5% UVB bulbs (1). Tanning salons claim that UVA bulbs are
much safer than UVB bulbs, but that is where they do not get all the facts straight.
The fact is that UVA bulbs are less likely to cause damage on the surface, such as a
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sun burn, as stated in Indoor Tanning: The Risks of Ultraviolet Rays. Many teenagers think that getting sun burned is the main problem with tanning beds, but it is
not. UVA bulbs cause deeper skin damage than we as humans can see.
Effects of Indoor Tanning
The advancement in our technology has caused scientists to change their minds
about tanning beds. Once being categorized as probably carcinogenic to humans,
tanning beds are now labeled as carcinogenic to humans. This new label is the
strongest warning yet about tanning beds. It puts tanning beds in the same category
as things like smoking and exposure to toxic chemicals. This change recognizes the
fact that tanning beds join plutonium, radiation, and radium into one deadly form,
the UV bulb (Michaelson). The FDA states that exposure to UV radiation can cause
skin cancer, skin burns, premature skin aging, and eye damage (Indoor Tanning).
It has now been proven that UV exposure can not only cause skin cancer, but also
melanoma of the eye. The lack of knowledge about indoor tanning and skin cancer
causes many teenagers to tan unprotected and frequently. The more unprotected
teenagers are while they tan, the more the tanning bed becomes carcinogenic to
them. Childhood to teenage years is a time when the humans body is most susceptible to developing skin cancer from ultraviolet radiation. This increase in risk is also
an increase in the most dangerous side effect of tanning. The CosmoGirl magazine
can use this information to show why indoor tanning is dangerous for teenagers
rather than just simply telling them that it is dangerous.
The Extreme Danger Affecting Female Teenagers

The most commonly known and most dangerous effect of indoor tanning is the
development of the three most common types of skin cancer. The first form of skin
cancer is basal cell carcinoma. The use of a tanning bed increases the individuals
chance of getting basal cell carcinoma 1.5 times (Michaelson). The second type of
skin cancer is squamous cell carcinoma. Individuals who use tanning beds are 2.5
times more likely for getting squamous cell carcinoma (Michaelson). Finally, malignant melanoma is the most deadly form of skin cancer according to the Mayo Clinic
staff on Melanoma. Melanoma is normally common among individuals in their
40s and 50s; although recently, the form has increased among Caucasian women
in the United States aged 15 to 39 by 50 percent between 1980 and 2004, as stated
in Melanoma Incidence Among Young Women in the U.S. Is Rising. This rise in
melanoma is not only because tanning increases an individuals chance of developing skin cancer but also because the younger age at which she begins to tan does too.
Jodi Duke started tanning when she was 16 years old. First, it was once every couple
of weeks. Then it turned into once every week, which progressed later to everyday,
Duke said (Narayan). Three years after she began tanning, Duke went to the doctors to get a mole removed. The mole came back as a malignant tumor, an advanced
form of melanoma. As a young, fair-skinned redhead, Duke has all of the characteristics that put her at high risk for getting skin cancer. The cancerous situation
could have been avoided if Duke had been informed about the dangerous affects
of tanning through a source that would actually grasp her attention, such as the
CosmoGirl magazine. Now that she is a real life story about how a normal teenager
developed skin cancer from tanning, she can be used as an expos in the CosmoGirl
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magazine. Teenagers will be attracted to the story about Jodi Duke since it is one
they can relate to in terms of striving for the popular look. After explaining how
dangerous the habit of indoor tanning is, the magazine can then promote ways to
obtain this popular look of being tan while still being safe, through the use of globally sold tanning lotions. This in turn would increase advertisement sales for the
magazine since their female audience will be looking to the magazine for advice in
the best products.
Conclusion: Inform and Promote
The problem with female teenagers and tanning is becoming a huge problem. It is
because teenagers are feeling social pressure from peers and other societal factors to
be tan since a tan is becoming the symbol for beauty. The effects of tanning, however, are not so beautiful. Since these effects are so dangerous and can affect teenagers lives now and later on in life, it is important for something that they look to for
guidance to inform them about the issue. CosmoGirl is an excellent source to spread
the word to teenagers because it attracts teenagers interest so much. Not only can
your magazine inform teenagers about the risks of indoor tanning but it can also
promote alternatives to tanning through advertisements and the use of social icon
advocates. With the help of CosmoGirl magazine, the success of promoting alternatives to indoor tanning will increase and the amount of female teenagers being
informed about the dangers of tanning beds will increase as well. CosmoGirl magazine could be the ultimate halt on this issue resulting in a cancer-free tomorrow. j
Works Cited
Asarch, Richard G. Indoor Tanning: You Must Read This. Skin News 16.2 (2009).
Print.
Indoor Tanning: The Risks of Ultraviolet Rays. FDA Consumer Health Information.
11 May 2010. U.S. Food and Drug Administration. Web. 31 March 2011.
Mayo Clinic Staff. Melanoma. Mayoclinic.com. Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research. 2 June 2010. Web. 21 April 2011.
Melanoma Incident Among Young Women in the U.S. Is Rising. Cancer.gov. National
Cancer Institute. 8 Sept. 2008. Web. 21 April 2011.
Michaelson, Elizabeth. Tanning Beds: WHO Issues Official Warning. Skin Cancer
Foundation 26.3 (2009): n. pag. Web. 31 March 2011.
Narayan, Adi. Cancer and Teen Tanning: Wheres the Regulation? Time 12 Oct.
2009: n. pag. Web. 31 March 2011.
Rawe, Julie. Why Teens Are Obsessed With Tanning. Time 7 Aug. 2006: n. pag.
Web. 31 March 2011.
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Analytical Profile: Assignment Guidelines

Often when we think of research, we think of traditional text-based research: you search
databases for articles, read through newspapers, or get a few books from the library.
But there are many different kinds of research, including interviews. The analytical profile asks you to engage with two different types of research: more traditional text-based
research and interviews. For this assignment, you will use interview-based research in
order to better understand how society has influenced the life of a person who differs
from you in some significant way. You will not only relate the story of the person you
choose to interview, but will analyze how gender, race, and/or socioeconomic class influenced the interviewees life, especially in relation to her or his identity and community.
In order to conduct a well-informed interview, however, youll also want to engage in
some more traditional research on an issue of social identity. For example, you might
research educational trends for men and women in Kansas in the 1950s. Does the history of the person you are interviewing reflect that educational trend? Challenge it? Or,
if your interviewee grew up on a farm, perhaps you might research the median income
of farmers in the 1940s and the sacrifices people made in terms of education. In brief,
you will want to use outside research so that you have a strong sense of the kinds of
questions you will want to ask your interviewee. The text-based research will also help
you contextualize the response you receive during your interview, allowing you to move
toward your analysis. Keep in mind that this is not only a reporting of your interview, but
an attempt to analyze the information you receive in the context of larger issues of social
identities and larger communities.
Profiles and human interest stories are popular reading material as they help connect
individuals to others in their communities. As part of your assignment, therefore, you
will identify an interested public audience for your profile. You might begin by exploring
Cappers magazine, which features Heart of the Home and Good Old Days stories.
Or you might think more locally with the University Life Caf or even the Riley County
Historical Society. What information would these readers be interested in? How do you
know? And how can you best meet the informative needs of that audience?
The analytical profiles that tend to be the most successful have well-focused subjects,
are centered on a central controlling theme, are presented with vivid and integral detail,
and present a fully developed, clear, interesting, and thoughtful analysis. Additionally, the
paper should display a clear sense of purpose, contain appropriate quotes from the interview, and must include information from at least one other published source.
Objectives
Research an issue related to communities and identities using appropriate and relevant resources.
Narrow a topic down to one that is manageable, researchable, and relevant to the
particular assignment and theme.
Identify an interested audience.
Evaluate the appropriateness and credibility of research sources.
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Accurately record primary field (interview) research.

Put personal experience within a larger social context.
Understand, synthesize, quote, and paraphrase source material correctly.
Integrate facts and descriptive details in a way that is useful for a reader.
Apply the basic principles of MLA citation style, including constructing a works cited
page.
j Tips on Writing Your Analytical Profile

1. Choose an accessible interviewee from whose life experience you can learn something new.
2. Show evidence of personal observation and thoughtful interviews.
3. Offer readers the descriptive and sensory details necessary to imagine the person you
interview.
4. Dramatize anecdotes through specific narrative action: people moving, gesturing,
and/or talking.
5. Find at least one published source to support, complement, or contradict the information from the interviewee. This source can be a print source from the library or
your textbook, or it may be information found on a suitable website.
6. Pace the flow of information in your report carefully. Dont unload all your information in the middle of the essay. Weave all the factual details in with the observations
you make. See the Choosing an Organization section.
7. Ask yourself, How has society influenced the life of my interviewee? Your focus or
controlling theme must be apparent but not necessarily stated. Your one- or twosentence answer to that question should be your controlling theme.
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Activity: Analyze Your Audience

The purpose of this activity is to learn about who reads this type of investigative report.
Knowing your audience allows you to adopt an appropriate rhetorical stance. Working in
context of the rhetorical situation helps you to write a report that engages the audience.
1. Go to the Cappers Magazine website (www.cappers.grit.com) and explore the kinds
of stories published there.

What image does Cappers seem to be projecting? What kind of readers do they
appear to be targeting? How do you know?
2. Go to K-States University Life Caf at universitylifecafe.k-state.edu and click on The

Brew and Caf Chats and explore the postings. What kind of information does
this audience value?
5
3. What other venues might be appropriate for your analytical profile?
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Activity: Finding an Interviewee

1. Brainstorm a list of people you know who might be appropriate interview subjects.
From this list, create a sublist of people who are accessible within the time frame of
your assignment.
2. Consider new acquaintances, such as a coworker, religious leader, or teacher, who can
help you identify members of Manhattans community you could interview. Make a
list of useful contacts.
3. Consider who your parents would suggest that you interview. Generate a list of these
individuals, even if you do not know them personally.
4. Brainstorm places, such as Meadowlark Hills Retirement Community, where one

might inquire about potential interview sources in the Manhattan area.
Note: You may wish to work with a small group of classmates and interview someone together.
177
j Conducting an Interview
On the nervousness you might feel about interviewing somebody, Barbara Walters offers
some advice: Being curious is the key to making genuine contact with someone. We [all]
sometimes feel were going to make dopes of ourselves. There isnt anyone who doesnt
feel some insecurity. The secret is trusting the fact that most people are interested in
talking about themselves (Happy 12). Barbara Walters uses open-ended questions as
much as possible. While some questions require only a short answer, open-ended questions give the interviewee freedom to offer personal revelations or interesting anecdotes
which might give you insight into your subject that simple yes-no questions will not.
Before calling to set up an interview appointment, think deeply about which social systems have probably influenced the life of the person youre interviewing. Then do some
preliminary research about those same social systems: what were gender expectations
like in the 1950s? What are some of the issues facing people who grow up in small farming communities? This preliminary research will help you better craft and hone your
research questions. You should then prepare a list of about twenty questions that you
might ask your interviewee. The Starter Question samples and activity could serve as
a basis for your list, but some questions should be specifically tailored to the particular
person youre interviewingtheir age, gender, and life experience, for example, will help
you determine how to shape your list.
When you call to set up the interview, be prepared to give a general explanation of your
assignment. For example, you might say, I am writing an essay on how your life has been
influenced by society. Reassure your interviewee that you do not plan to take more than
an hour of his/her time for your interview questions.
Once you arrive for your interview, have your pen and paper ready to take notes. You
could begin with a question like, What was it like to be a teenager in your community?
Your prepared follow-up questions may all center around an anticipated answer about
the WWII home front. However, the interviewees answer instead includes a fascinating
reference to being allowed to phone a friend occasionally. You might decide to postpone your prepared follow-up questions and pursue questions about how technology
impacted her/his teen years. These follow-up questions may take the interview in an
unplanned and even more interesting direction, leading to a controlling theme centered
on how the telephones availability and use relates to the interviewees social class.
This example should clarify that the controlling theme will often grow out of the interview itself. Therefore, one of the most important elements of an interview is listening.
Ask only one question at a time, and be patient. Most people have never been interviewed, and it can be an unusual experience. A person must have time to think about
her/his answers.
Once you begin to get answers, you can follow your list of questionsbut be prepared
to ask follow-up questions if you do not get enough information from a particular question. You may use a tape recorder if you wish, but make sure you ask for permission from
your interviewee first; also, you should know that tape recorders often make people feel
uncomfortable. Whether you choose to use a tape recorder or just take notes (or both),
make sure you get some direct, exact quotations for use in your paper.
178
Take some notes to help you remember your interviewees answers. If she/he says something particularly interesting, it is all right to ask her/him to repeat the answerso that
you can quote it accurately. It is extremely important that you write out several quotable quotes during the course of the interview. These quotes not only provide facts but
also characterize the speaker. In On Writing Well, William Zinsser tells us, Nothing so
animates a writing as someone telling what he thinks or what he does in his own words.
Zinsser goes on to say:
His own words will always be better than your words, even if you are the most elegant stylist in the land. They carry the inflection of his speaking voice and the idiosyncrasies of his
conversation and the lingo of his trade. They convey his enthusiasm. This is a person talking
to the reader directly, not through the filter of the writer. (81)
You must also take notes on interesting atmospheric details you notice, as well as your
interviewees appearance and delivery. Which sensory details in this place are most
memorable? What is your interviewees attitude in response to your questions? What
gestures, expressions, and voice tones reveal this attitude?
Once youve gathered information through your interview and have determined your
controlling theme you will likely want to return to more traditional research to provide
any context that might help you analyze the information you now have. Remember that
this is not simply a profile piece, but is an attempt to analyze how social systems impact
real people in the community. Outside research can help you to provide more social context and can provide new lenses through which you can view and analyze the responses
from your interviewee.
If you find yourself dreading the interview, remember that most people love to talk about
themselves. Dont feel that you must ask every question you have prepared if the person
talks about other things that interest you. Also, take a phone number, asking your interviewee if you can call back if you have follow-up questions. Enjoy your interview! After
the interview, dont forget to thank your interviewee before leaving. After youve finished
writing your investigative report, send or deliver a copy to your interviewee.
IMPORTANT STEP: As soon as you leave your interviewee, sit down and write down
everything you remember! This step is crucial because you wont have time to take notes
on everything said during the interviewand memory fades fast. That first hour after
the interview is the best time, as all reporters know, to record whatever you were not able
to put into writing during the interview.
Works Cited
Happy Talking. Family Circle. 13 October 1992: 12. Web.

Zinsser, William. On Writing Well. 4th ed. New York: HarperCollins, 1990. Print.
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Investigative Report Starter Questions

Starter questions and possible follow-up questions:
What work have you done in your life?

What other kinds of work have you done?
What specific instance exemplifies how your life has been influenced by your
work?
How does society perceive/judge your work?
Who has had a great influence on you? What is important about this person?

How would you describe this influential person?
Whats one specific instance in which you remember this person influencing you
in some way?
How are you different from this person?
What do you consider the most important issues facing the world today?

How do these issues differ from your concerns when you were younger?
Whats one time that you recall one of these issues impacting your life?
What are the most important changes in these issues that you have seen?
What moral values most define who you are?
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To what communities do you belong that reflect your moral values?
Can you describe a time when you faced a moral dilemma? What happened?
What did you do?
What one value has changed the most in society? What value has changed the
least?
Activity: Follow-up Questions

In the space provided, generate follow-up questions for the given starter questions.
How have your educational opportunities impacted your life?
How has the media influenced society?
How has the media changed society from when you were younger?
What messages did you receive about how to be an appropriate woman/man?
How did the civil rights and/or the womens movement of the 1960s and 70s impact
your life?
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j Choosing an Organization
You should not expect any one pattern or method of organization to serve all types of
writing. In a feature article, the arrangement of the parts usually grows organically out of
the experience youve had with the subject. In more objective writing, form may sometimes grow out of the complex rhetorical situation or it may be based on an imitation
of a traditional design. Because we are visually oriented creatures, professional writers
have developed several specific diagrams to help themselves envision forms that often
grow out of imaginative leads. Below, one such diagram illustrates how a provocative
lead design is applicable for this assignment. Remember, however, that this pattern of
organization is just one possible strategy.
The Provocative Lead Design
The sensory tension builder, a type of provocative lead, sets the scene and creates tension
that entices the readers interest. The nature of this lead depends on the body paragraphs
that explore the subject and analyze the situation through facts and description. Once
the facts and descriptions have been given, a concluding section connects with the lead
to give a sense of closure that holds the essay together like bookends. These relationships
between report sections are illustrated below.
Bookend:
Capturing Attention through a Sensory Tension Builder
Although the sunlight streamed brightly through the window to create
sparkling prisms of light across the room, Susans face was tight and
her eyes were sad.
Facts:
quotations, information from
published sources, and background
information
Description:
sensory information, such as gestures,
expressions, and setting details
Bookend:
Closing the Sensory Frame
Susan smiled at me knowingly as the sunlight in the room softened
in the warm glow of the setting sun.
The introductionwhich might be several paragraphsshould set the scene and create
interest for the reader. In the diagram example above, interest is created by using a sensory tension builder; a different type of provocative lead, such as a humorous statement,
could also create interest.
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The facts and descriptions that create the discourse blocks of the report body should be
blended together in such a way that the paper is clear and easy to follow. Many writers
organize from most important to least important or the reverse. Choosing the order of
details and information will impact the tone and style of your essay. As well as creating
interest, organizational style will allow the reader to connect to the subject and understand how a social system can influence his or her life. Therefore, details used in the body
of the report must be chosen carefully.
The concluding section, like the introduction, may also be several paragraphs working
together. To create a sense of closure, reconnect to the focus of interest used in the introduction. In this example, closure is achieved by building on the same sensory details as
the introduction to complete the scene.
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184
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Analytical Profile
1. In your own words, summarize the writers controlling theme.
2. What is the most interesting thing about this essay? Why?
5
3. This is an analytical profile. Note places where the writer is doing a good job making
connections to outside sources. Where might more outside information be useful?
185
4. Look specifically at the description of objects, scenes, or people. Which three sensory details are most memorable? Why?
5. Does the paper answer the controlling idea question: How has society influenced the
life of the interviewee?

Yes Sometimes No
6. Is there an appealing balance between the facts and descriptions?

Yes Sometimes No
7. How does the writer use the published source?
186
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Analytical Profile
When handing in your report, make sure to include:
A printout or copy of all your sources, including interview notes. Be sure to
highlight or bracket the parts of the sources from which you paraphrase or quote.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
The topic has been narrowed to a manageable

and researchable issue. (focus and purpose)
The focus of the subject is interesting and
engaging. (focus and purpose)
The introduction sets the scene and creates
interest for the reader. ( focus and purpose;
organization)
The sources are integrated and meaningfully

used, through careful selection of detail.
(development)
The sources have been connected to the
controlling theme and to the interests of the
audience. (purpose and focus; development)
Sufficient facts and descriptions have been
taken from the sources. (development)
At least one published source and one
interview source is cited. These sources are
credible, relevant, and recent. (development)
The writers voice and the sources are balanced.
(style and tone)
MLA citation style has been followed,
including parenthetical citation, attributive
tags, and works cited page. (style and editing)
The report has been edited and proofread.
(style and editing)
187
Notes:
188
j Analytical profile Example

Holly Weeden wrote this analytical profile in Brenda Martins Expos I class. It won
second place in the 2011 Expository Writing Program Essay Award.
Never an Issue
Holly Weeden
The shiny Model A rambling down the rural Kansas road slows to a gradual stop to
aid in the rescue of the local basketball team stranded before a game. I can just see
it nowThe long, lean boys are chatting excitedly through toothy grins while they
pack in, some sitting inside and some hanging from the fenders as it cruises down
the road towards town. The basketball uniforms flap in the breeze, and their voices
are loud and boisterous. Even a scruffy farm mutt runs alongside near the back tires
barking, tongue hanging wildly about: It could be a painting by Norman Rockwell.
The rescuera girl! Her dark curls flip happily in the breeze, and her hand-sewn
feed-sack dress is nicely pressed for going to town. I can see her laughing with the
boys, perhaps teasing them a little just because she can
As Mary Ann Parsons sits across the small grey and red table from me, her aged
hands are articulate, perhaps revealing her inner delight at recalling such an adventure (I notice throughout the interview that her hands are constantly in motion).
The morning sun filters through the large commercial windows highlighting the
silver in her bobbed grey hair and glints off her gold-rimmed glasses. I find myself
thinking I hope I look this good when Im 82. We are surrounded by 1950s memorabilia: a yellow hotrod, an Elvis statue, even an old jukebox playing soda shop classics.
Printed on the walls is a mural of teens in the 50s: poodle skirts, roller-skates, girls
with ponytails, boys in jeans with slicked back hair, vintage cars, and the golden
arches in the background. I find it fitting that we meet in this Topeka McDonalds; its
nostalgic. Shes just finished having coffee with her friends, and she came prepared
for my questions as she hands me a handwritten account of her younger years. She
looks comfortable in a grey Snoopy Halloween sweatshirt, jeans, and black shoes.
I am surprised to learn it was she who was driving in the opening story; after all,
most everything I have learned says that women were encouraged to stay at home,
cook, clean, and care for the kids, supposed womens roles.and yet here sits before
me an amazing woman whose life contradicts what I thought I knew about womens
roles in the early 1930s and 40s, and has me wonderingwhat influenced my beliefs?
According to Betty Friedan, author of The Feminine Mystique, popular magazines
represented a repressive force, imposing damaging images on vulnerable American
women (qtd. in Meyerowitz 1457). She blamed the mass media. I agreed with her
completely; that is, until I read an article by Joanne Meyerowitz, Beyond the Feminine Mystique, in which she researched further about the impact mass media had
on women after WW II. She encounteredexceptional evidencethat contradicted
the domestic ideology (Meyerowitz 1456). Throughout her research, Meyerowitz
discovered that the media had plenty to say about women: The popular literature I
sampled did not simply glorify domesticity or demand that woman return to or stay
189
at home. All of the magazines sampled advocated both the domestic and the nondomestic, sometimes in the same sentence (1458). I can only assume then that my
beliefs are something of a shipwreck of sorts, little bits and pieces washing up ashore
and lying there ungrounded. Social researcher Tim Wise called it environmental
conditioning (96). My environment formed my beliefs: bits from TV, radio, comic
strips, my mother, grandparents, and the movies.
When I asked Mary Ann if she was part of any womens rights movements she paused
to collect her thoughts. Her hand supported her jaw and her raspy voice was serious
and searching, I didnt know what they wantedto be equal to a man? I could hear
the change in her voice when she spoke about equality. I guessed from her tone her
thoughts were something of this sort: Why would women want to change the good
thing we have going on? To Mary Ann, the traditional gender roles of women worked.
There was no downside that Mary Ann and her friends could see. She paused, and
I could hear relief in her voice again as she talked about her family and friends. We
always liked being treated like women and girls; we were waited on, pursued, doors
were opened for us. Deep, soft wrinkles creased at the edges of her mouth and her
eyes lit up as she reminisced. I smiled and thought about how wonderful it must
have been to be treated so well. It seems now that men are so afraid to offend women
that they simply walk on by rather than hold a door or lend a hand.
Mary Ann was neither an antifeminist nor a feminist. I imagine there must have
been many women who fell somewhere in this middle category. We were all in the
same boat. Yet her attitude was not one of feminine equality with men; she liked
being a traditional woman and the way women were held in high esteem, protected,
loved, cherish, and respected. She was just the way she was, not because she was
making a statement that women can do it all. Even though it sure sounds like they
could: driving, working, playing, educating, tending the garden, canning, ironing,
sewing the list goes on and on and on.
Mary Anns mother never worked, except for one holiday season in order for her
and daddy to buy my brother Jack and I a pair of roller skates for ChristmasAll
moms were at home so it wasnt strange to see them there when you went to a
friends home.
Mary Ann said she was a tomboy, and Im pretty sure I saw a hint of the stubborn
jaw set one gets when standing her ground. She said her mom didnt mind her being
outside, though Mary Ann still had indoor duties such as setting the table, helping
during canning, gardening, ironing, and sewing. When I asked her how her father
felt about her being outdoors much of the time, she paused and thought a bit, Dad
mustve been okay with it; it was never an issue.
Her family lived on the edge of Burlingame, KS, and there werent a lot of rich kids
or more privileged families there to compare to. She hung out with city kids, didnt
really know the farm girls, and walked to school with a girl of color. The three black
families in town fit in as far as she could tell. To her and her family, people were
people, regardless of color or privilege.
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Mary Ann was 14 or 15 when her father taught her to drive and just 16 when she
drove herself to work at Forbes airbase supply depot in Pauline, KS. She went to work
for the Santa Fe railroad in 1946; she was 18 years old and worked there for a total of
28 years. My face scrunches as I try to imagine how it was. But no matter how hard I
try, I cant imagine working anywhere that long; it seems like such a different world.
She met her husband Merrill in the seventh grade and they dated for four years
before they married. They had no children, We didnt plan on it and there was no
accidents. I asked if she felt disapproval from others since the 40s and 50s seemed
historically to require having kids. No, there were quite a few of us that didnt have
kids. I wonder if she could see the surprise covering my face as I recorded all these
bits of knowledge.
Mary Ann Parsons doesnt sound anything like the tormented suppressed shell of a
woman that mass media shovels in our faces about women in the past. I see before
me a woman who was not helpless, but happy with her life, her husband, and their
choice for no children. Mary Ann enjoyed all the perks of being a girl raised in the
1940s in rural Kansas: she didnt cook, but she did clean, work, play just as hard as
the next kid; and while driving, Mary Ann even rescued a basketball team. j
Works Cited
Meyerowitz, Joanne. Beyond the Feminine Mystique: A Reassessment of Postwar

Mass Culture, 19461958. The Journal of American History 79.4 (1993). JSTOR.
Web. 16 Oct. 2010.
Parsons, Mary Ann. Personal Interview. 15 Oct. 2010.
Wise, Tim. (Proto)Typical White Denial: Reflections on Racism and Uncomfortable Realities. Rpt. in Writing Communities & Identities. Ed. Cynthia Debes et
al. 7th ed. Plymouth, MI: Hayden-McNeil Publishing, 2009. 9397. Print.
Katie Mosher wrote this analytical profile in Cindy Debes Expos I class.
A Choice with Only One Option

Katie Mosher
I clear my throat and try to sit up straight in my chair. I even tap my papers on the
table as if to straighten them out; I am not sure where this sudden need to seem
professional is coming from. I look across the table at the woman I am interviewing.
I am trying to see her as a woman full of wisdom and years of experience, a woman
whose life has been affected by society, and a woman whose values and beliefs are
strongly shaped by the place that society put her in many years ago. However, this
is near impossible as I look at her kind eyes and wrinkled yet soft hands she has
clasped together laid gently in her lap. It is difficult to remember a time when she
was not smiling. It is difficult to picture her as just a woman because she is my
grandmother. She is the woman who held me up to the counter before I could even
talk so that I could stir the brownie batter. She is the woman that would ooo and
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ahhhh about my finger paintings and the only person who knew that blue scribble
on the paper was supposed to be an elephant holding a flower sitting on a rainbow.
This is when I realize that there are so many pieces to my grandmas life that I dont
know. I am almost ashamed as I begin to ask her questions that I have never even
thought of asking before in a normal conversation.
I decide to start with some of the basics, answers I already know, since she seems
to be a little nervous, her hands keep shifting from her lap to the table to her coffee
cup. She tells me about how her teen years were spent in the 1950s in a small town
called Cumberland, Iowa. There were 15 kids in her graduating class. It was not
difficult for her to remember vivid details about growing up in a small community
with her sister. They did not misbehave much, since everyone knew each other and
word would get back to their parents in no time. She told me about going to the iceskating rink with her friends and she told me about her typewriter; for a while I was
concerned she was not going to stop talking about how much she loved this typewriter. I cherish all the details my grandma is telling me as I am using them to form
a better picture in my mind of her life. But I am also aware of where this interview
is headed. And how uncomfortable I am about to make the situation, as I search for
the answers to my question of how societys view of pregnancy out of wedlock in the
1960s influenced the decisions my grandma made as a young woman and the way
she sees societytoday.
This may seem as if it came out of nowhere; however, I already have some background knowledge about the secrets in my family that have spiked my curiosity. I
know that my grandma went to Simpson College in Indianola, Iowa (the only one
out of her graduating class of boys and girls to go to college). She was 18, she met a
boy, and they started dating. Suddenly, a couple months later they announced that
they were engaged, although the boy could not afford a ring. They were married
shortly thereafter, and about one month after they were married, they announced
that they were having a baby. About six months later, they had a healthy 7 lb. 6
oz. baby boy: my father. This mystery of how the timing all worked out is one that
has never been directly asked. Yet, it is just common knowledge among the family
members that my grandma must have gotten pregnant and knowing that this would
not be accepted by our family or society, she got married. I do not plan to ask my
grandma if this is true or not; I feel that a question like that would be disrespectful.
However, I hope that with my line of questions, I can uncover what she really wants
to say but could never actually tell anyone.
Ok, so Grandma, I just want to talk a little bit about how society viewed certain
issues at the time. I start in, hoping my questions sound general enough and not too
thought out. So I continue, I was thinking we could just start with the issue of teen
pregnancy or becoming pregnant out of wedlock. I bite my lip hoping my question
was not too obvious. However, she hardly even paused as she began to give the most
animated answer so far in the interview, Ohhhhhh might as well have just gone out
and shot somebody! I try to suppress a giggle at the way she says that. I mean if you
got pregnant, you couldnt go to school. You had to go away to a home and then give
it up for adoption. The whole townand I mean the whole town, from the old folks
to the little bittie kids would be whisperin about you. She pauses, looks down at her
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hands, then looks back at me and says, Trust me, kids would do just about anything
to avoid that. I think in that moment, we both knew kids was her.
I think by anything she was referring to getting married to avoid being the town
scandal. I realized in reading an article called New Mothers, Not Married by
George Akerlof, Janet Yellen, and Michael Katz that my grandma fit picture perfectly into the shotgun marriage era. It is explained in this article that until the
early 1970s, [shotgun marriage] was the norm to premarital sexual relations (278).
The article explains how it was expected that if a boy got a girl pregnant, he better
marry her and provide for them. This seems to be exactly what my grandpa did.
Another part of this article that supports my grandmas claim that you had to give
your baby up for adoption in that time is the statistics on adoption. According to the
article, adoption was on a rise in the 60s and peaked in 1970 with only 23 percent of
unwed mothers keeping their children. This is extremely low even compared to the
1980s where about 66% of unwed mothers kept their children (Akerlof, Yellen, and
Katz283).
Another point that this article focuses on that my grandma brought up was the
social stigma attached with being an unwed mother. I asked my grandma how she
felt that this has changed over the years. She told me that it is acceptable now to be
an unwed mother. Its on TV, its in the news, its in high schools, its talked about;
they are not shunned, they are helped by society, there is welfare. She continued to
talk about how different life is now for unwed mothers, and I couldnt help but notice
the envy in her voice. Of course, it seems obvious she would rather be an unwed
mother now, in 2011, where there are options and choices that a woman has when
it comes to having a child. The article explains, Since out-of-wedlock childbearing no longer results in social ostracism, literally and figuratively, shotgun marriage
no longer occurs at the point of the shotgun (Akerlof, Yellen, and Katz 309). If my
grandma had been pregnant in a different time that was more conducive to her situation, maybe she would have been able to stay in school instead of dropping out of
college before even completing a semester. I wonder if she felt trapped, like she had
no options.
I got very lucky with your grandpa, Katie. He was an amazing man. He loved
me and our family and tried his best to give us everything we wanted. I cant help
but feel the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. I remember watching the love
between my grandparents growing up; I never doubted how much my grandpa cared
about his family. But I also realize how this may be less of a heart-felt comment
about true love and more about true luck. My grandma became pregnant after dating a man for a couple of months, and then was forced by society to marry him to
avoid public scrutiny. She is incredibly lucky that he was the loving amazing man
that he was.
My grandma was a young woman in the 1960s. She was editor of the school newspaper, gave the speech at graduation, was in the chorus, played the sports that girls
were allowed to play at the time, tutored younger children, and worked at the local
grocery store. She was by past and present day standards an All-American girl. The
fact that she even was accepted into college was impressive enough at that time. But
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she was not just a young woman in the 1960s, she was a young pregnant unmarried
woman in the 1960s. I cannot begin to imagine the fear she must have felt when
she realized she was going to have to marry a man she barely knew and change her
entire lifes goals to remain a respected woman in society.
I loved being a housewife. I would hear other mothers talk about dreading the summer, but I loved the extra time with the kids, every second of it. Anytime she talks
about my dad and my aunts, her face lights up and her eyes become even softer,
which I didnt even know was possible. Honestly I never felt restricted by my gender
at the time, but looking back I see that I was. I just did what I had to do, the only
way I saw at the time. She pauses and runs her finger around the edge of her coffee
mug as if contemplating how much more to tell me. I am begging her with my eyes
to keep talking. She looks up and says in almost a defensive tone, yet not at all mean,
I didnt see it then, but I do see it now. I made the choices that I thought I had, but
really they were not choices at all, you cant choose something if you only have one
option to choose from.
Grandma, if you lived in society today would you make different choices? I watch
her forehead scrunch up and suddenly am filled with such respect for her for thinking so hard about my questions and being so honest with me. She takes a deep breath,
I cant answer that sweetheart, I justI really dont know. I decide not to push it
any further. I think her answers are clear enough. Both she and I realize that she was
a woman who was extremely affected by a social stigma in society at the time. And
in facing the reality of being shunned from her community, she chose to give up
her dreams and become a married mother at age 19. I have a newfound respect and
admiration for my grandmother for doing what she felt she had to do and being the
loving and caring person that she is.
Feeling the weight of built up stress and emotion that now filled the room, I decide
that we should be done. Okay Grandma, so tell me more about this typewriter. I
cant even hold back a smile as her eyes become wide and she leans forward in the
chair and begins to chatter on and on about the sleek keys and the soothing sound it
made. I dont know when this now completely one-sided conversation will end, but I
wouldnt trade today for anything. j
Works Cited
Akerlof, George A., Janet L. Yellen, and Michael L. Katz, An Analysis of Out-ofWedlock Childbearing in the United States, Quarterly Journal of Economics 111
(1996): 277317. JSTOR. Web. 20 Oct. 2011.
Mosher, Margo. Personal interview. 23 October 2011.
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CHAPTER 6
In this assignment, you will continue to explore gender, class, race/ethnicity, and other
social systems. This time, you will focus upon your own social and cultural identity and
reflect on how it fits into these larger social systems. Obviously, you possess many different
identities, and you may think of your identity in different ways depending upon where you
are, whom you are interacting with, and what you are doing. You may even find yourself
now rejecting the identity that you grew up with and are now trying on new identities.
In order to make your personal ethnography more significant, try to choose an identity
that shows readers how you connect yourself to a larger social group, which, again, may
be tied to gender, class, race/ethnicity, or region. Your experiences with how other people
create an identity for you, which may be negative ones, may also be a good place to start.
The personal ethnography combines storytelling with analysis and research. You will
use descriptive and narrative strategies to recall a particular experience that illustrates
the influence of the social systems that we have explored in this class. Make sure that
your experience reveals aspects of your cultural identity. It might be helpful to think in
terms of what cultures you identify withculture being defined as the learned behaviors, values, and beliefs that are shared and practiced by a group of people. For example,
you might focus on an event that represents your culture, such as a family tradition or a
moment when you were first aware of your gender, class, or race. Your options are open,
as long as you focus on an experience that somehow reveals your position in a social
system. Remember that stories are powerful: they help us explore, appreciate, and learn
about each other.
As you tell your story, you will also analyze the events significance in terms of your cultural identity, specifically in terms of the social systems explored in this course. For your
analysis, you need to step away from your experience and examine it from the eye of a
social researcher. From this position, you should try to come up with points or generalizations that show readers how gender, class, race/ethnicity, and other factors connect to
your identity. In order to develop your analysis, you should include at least one outside
research source. Possible examples of sources may be articles that you have already read
and discussed in class or texts that you have found using the library databases or other
resources. These research sources should develop the ways you think about the social
and cultural identity that you are analyzing.
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CHAPTER 6 Personal Ethnography
Consider some of these following questions when thinking about your analysis:
What specific examples from your experience support your analysis?
Why is your experience significant? Why did you choose this experience, as opposed
to others?
What does this particular experience tell readers about your social and cultural
identity?
What are the values of the larger social group that you are identifying with?
Your instructor may ask you to integrate your analysis within your narrative. Alternatively, your instructor may ask you to separate your personal ethnography into two parts,
one that describes your experience and then one that analyzes the experience.
Objectives
Demonstrate awareness of how you and other people are positioned as members of
particular cultures.
Identify how identity is influenced by the structures of gender, class, and/or race.
Narrate a specific experience that is relevant in illustrating cultural identity.
Use descriptive strategies to vividly create impressions for the reader.
Analyze implications of social systems in your life, particularly as revealed in your
experience.
Integrate research sources that support your analysis.
Rationale
The personal ethnography is important because it brings the previous units together,
asking you now to connect the course concepts to your own identity and experiences.
This assignment also gives you the opportunity to connect analysis, the type of writing
that we normally expect to see at the college level, with creative nonfiction and storytelling strategies. The type of flexibility that is required to connect these two different purposes of writing is important. You may use narrative strategies in other K-State classes
in order to make your arguments more forceful. There are even classes, including Introduction to American Ethnic Studies (AMETH 160), in which you will be asked to write
a personal ethnography.
j Discovering and Developing Your Ethnography

Finding an idea to write about is often a challenging task for writers. You may want to
begin by brainstorming and listing significant places, events, and things in your life. You
may then be able to make associations and start to recall important experiences.
An example of how important objects can be used to spark memories about experiences that deal with identity is in Joe Bageants Deer Hunting With Jesus, which in many
respects is an extended personal ethnography, one that tries to reconcile Bageants rural,
Southern, and working-class upbringing with the strong liberal values that he now holds.
In this brief passage, Bageant describes the importance of guns in his childhood:
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In families like mine, men are born smelling of gun amid a forest of firearms. The family home, a
huge old clapboard farmhouse, was stuffed with guns, maybe thirty in all. There were 10-, 12-,
14-, and 20-gauge shotguns, pump guns, over-and-unders, and deer rifles of every imaginable
sort from classic Winchester 94 models to 30-ought-sixes, an old cap and ball horse pistol
dating back to the mid-1800s, and even a set of dueling pistols that have been in my family
since the 1700s. No hillbilly ever threw a gun away, even when it could no longer be repaired.
And until they stopped working completely, guns were endlessly cared for and patched back
together. Otherwise they werent to be parted with except under the direst circumstances,
either on your deathbed or because you were so broke your cash bounced. For example, there
is one ancestral family gun that my brother Mike did not inheritmy fathers prized old Ivers
and Johnson double-barrel shotgun, which had been in the family since the turn of the twentieth century. An out-of-work trucker at Christmastime, Daddy sold it to buy us kids the standard assortment of Christmas junk so we would not feel disappointed. I remember a Robert the
Robot for me, a tin stove for my sister, a little red wheelbarrow for my brother, and, of course,
toy guns and holsters. That was in 1952. We still have the photographs, and we still lament
the loss of that fine old Ivers and Johnson. (121)
Obviously, beginning with the tangible objects of guns, Bageant has been able to describe
important relationships within his family and find important points to say about his
working-class and Southern rural identity.
As you think of ideas for your story, you might find it helpful to read about one student,
Matt, and his struggles to find a topic for his personal ethnography.
How Matt Discovered His Story
When Matt first started to think about his personal ethnography topic, he knew he
would never find an idea. I dont have a culture! he told his instructor. Im just a regular
white guy from Salina, he said.
Matts instructor suggested that he use one of the invention strategies from his textbook
to generate a list of meaningful places, things, and events in his life. She told him not to
worry about the cultural identity part of the assignment as he made his lists. There will
be time to test your ideas later, she said. Just put some ideas on paper to start.
Matt followed his instructors advice, and his lists are reproduced below.
Places
Fishing cabin at lake
Grandpas barn
Orlando
Events
Teaching guitar lessons
Graduation trip
Things
Guitars
Grandpas hats
Dresser from Great-grandparents
Matt chose two of the ideas from his lists to freewrite about: his Grandpas hats and his
guitars. His freewrites are reproduced below.

Grandpas Hats
My grandpa gave me these hats when I was 15. One is an old beat-up straw cowboy hat that
he used to wear when he was working. I can remember him wearing it when he would drive
his tractor through the fields. The other hat is a dress hat that he wore to church on Sundays.
It is black and has a narrow brim. Its in good shape because he didnt wear it all the time. The
hats mean a lot to me because my grandpa gave me these hats just before he died. He had
stomach cancer and died when I was 16.
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Guitars
I have six guitars. Three of them are acoustic and three are electric. Guitar playing has always
been a hobby of mine, and my mom plays guitar too. I brought two of my guitars with me to
school. The best guitar I have is an acoustic made of Brazilian Rosewood. It makes other guitars
sound like crap. I left it at home though when I came to K-State because my mom was afraid
someone might try to rip it off. It cost almost $3000.
Activity
Play the role of Matts classmate by helping him to test his topic ideas.
1. Can you see a way that his grandpas hats or his guitars could relate to his gender,
class, or race? What kind of story might he think about telling?
2. Might any of his other ideas from his brainstorming lists relate to gender, class, or
race? In what ways?
6
j Brainstorming Stories
From his book Literature Workshop, Sheridan Blau recommends that you can find story
ideas by identifying all of the stories that you tell in your family or that you tell when you
are with close friends. Try following Blaus steps below in order to help you come up with
some possible story ideas:
1. Identify around three of these types of stories, ones that you think are the most
interesting.
2. Write down titles for these stories, making them as representative and interesting as
possible.
3. Share your titles with your classmates, providing some brief information about your
story if necessary.
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4. After hearing your classmates stories, think up a few more story ideas.
5. Think about which of the stories might have the most to say about gender, class, ethnicity/race, and other social factors. Jot down some more notes about the story you
have chosen.
6. Share your story with a small group of classmates. When you are finished with your
story, ask your listeners to test your story. What is the major point about the story?
(The So What? question.) Can they interpret the significance of your story? Can
they connect your story meaningfully to social and cultural identity? Listen to your
listeners interpretations and take down more notes.
7. Share with the whole class, both the story and the student listeners interpretations.
Can other students offer additional interpretations?
Continue exploring the invention strategies listed below to help you discover a topic for
your narrative. You should test each idea you come up with by asking yourself: How does
this story relate to gender, race, or class? If you cant answer this question, even with help
from your instructor and classmates, you should go back to your brainstorming lists and
choose another idea for your narrative.
Activity: Invention
1. Look back at the answers you wrote at the end of our discussions on gender, class,
race, and privilege. You should already have a list of ideas! Make note of your top two
choices.
2. Make a list of the meaningful places in your life, the meaningful things in your life,
and the meaningful events in your life. Choose one idea from your list and freewrite
about it.
3. Have you ever been in a place where you were made to feel aware of your gender,
class, or race? What happened? How did you feel?
4. Use at least one invention strategy (brainstorming, listing, mapping, clustering, freewriting, etc.) to help you develop one of your ideas.
199
One way to start planning your narrative is to make a storyboard. A storyboard is a visual
representation of the scenes or events that make up a story. It uses sketches and words to
present an outline of the story. Writers use storyboards to map out the plot of their stories and to help them decide what details to include. Making a storyboard can also help
you decide the best place for the point of learning in your story.
Activity
1. Make a storyboard for one of the student examples found in the back of this unit.
Follow the steps below to make the storyboard.

Read the story carefully, looking for the point of learning.
Divide the story into sections based on where the action is taking place and what
is happening. You should have four or five sections.
Divide a sheet of paper into sections and draw one sketch for each section of the
story using captions if needed.
2. Make a storyboard for your own personal ethnography narrative. Be sure to include
a point of learning (an aha! moment) as you outline your plot. If you find that your
storyboard has more than five sections, you may be trying to include too many details
in your story.
6
j Narrative Strategies
Once you have a viable topic for your personal ethnography, you should consider the following narrative strategies as you plan what you will write.
Plot
Generally, the plot of the story should remain focused on one specific experience (a
snapshot rather than a string of memories) that illustrates the issues of gender, class,
and/or race. The narrative needs to include some kind of temporal (time) awareness for
the reader. The narrative should also include the following parts:
beginning (opening scene that establishes setting, characters, and the main issue)
middle (actions and reactions leading to the point of your new awareness)
end (resolution of some sort)
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Point of Learning
The narrative should have a moment when the reader can tell that you have learned
something or have been made aware of something. Your personal ethnography should
focus around this point of learning. The point of learning might be a moment of enlightenment, a move from innocence to experience, or a critical choice. For example, your
ethnography could focus on a moment when you realized you were different from someone else or when you realized you were being treated differently than others due to your
gender, race, or class. Your personal ethnography should clearly reveal how gender, class,
or race plays a role in your life.
Recreating Dialogue
When writers are telling stories about past events, they rarely remember the exact words
that people said. Most writers recreate dialogue by thinking about what people probably
said during the event. Adding dialogue to a story in this way can often make the event
and characters seem more real to the audience.
When using dialogue, keep in mind the following conventions:
Start a new paragraph each time a different character speaks.
Periods and commas should be placed inside the quotation marks.
It should be clear which character is speaking.
Using Show Words Rather Than Tell Words
Tell words interpret a scene without describing it. Tell words deliver prepackaged
ideas to the reader (pleasant, happy, depressing, annoying, pretty, etc.).
The ceramic bread bowl that has been in my family for five generations has a nice, reassuring
feel to it that I realize my foremothers must have felt as well.
Show words describe a scene through sensory details. The description itself evokes the
desired effect without requiring the writer to state it overtly.
As the bowls smooth, solid, ceramic interior guides my hands back to a forming ball of dough,
I imagine my great-grandmothers hands brushing against the sides of this same bowl as she
spent hours kneading dough that would be made into countless zwiebach, bierrocks, and
verenike for her familys sustenance.
j Strategies for Analysis

As you tell your story you will also analyze the events significance in terms of your cultural identity.
Identify Your Social Lenses
While you are drafting your narrative, continue to think about the significant social lenses
that you can use to analyze your experience as well as the characters within your story.
As depicted in the graphic on the following page, you can think of yourself as a cultural
researcher, holding up a magnifying glassyour social lensto your experience in order
to figure out what it has to say about larger cultural and social issues.
201
Religion
Disability
Gender
Your
Experience
eil,
LL
cN
M
en-
Race &
Ethnicity
ayd
Social
Class
Region
Think about these following questions in order to help you analyze your narrative:
With what social lenses are you going to examine your experience?
What is significant about this social lens? What does it reveal about the larger social
group or system that you are identifying with?
What are the values of this social group? What does this social group think is
important?
What attracts you to these values?
What concerns or problems do you see in this social group and its values?
What are the positive or negative consequences about the values of this social
group?
Identify the Supporting Details
Analyze the details from the narrative that suggest or explain your cultural identity or a
social construction. The analysis needs to refer to specific details and examples, explaining why the details are significant to the cultural group or social system being discussed.
My mom would always buy name brand clothes for us, and she would not only get her nails
done regularly but also let my sister and me get our hair and nails done frequently. When I first
came to K-State, I was forced to support myself, and I wondered how my mom maintained the
seemingly abundant lifestyle we had. I just recently realized that I had no idea our family did
not have much money because of how we lived.
Present Your Information Clearly

Be clear about how you are defining the culture or social system you are writing about.
For example, you might discuss the values and beliefs that are important to this particular culture, or you might discuss two or three claims or generalizations about the culture.
Granted, in some ways, we were above lower-middle class, as suggested in the fact that my
sister and I finally got separate bedrooms when I entered high school after Dad did some
remodeling on the house. Nevertheless, my siblings and I wore handmedownsI got mine
mostly from Susie, whom I mention in the narrativeplus we got reduced-price lunches at
school, both of which place us in the lower-middle class.
202
Develop Your Ethnography

As they write, writers make choices about how to develop their ideas and arrange their
information. As described in the Handbook at the back of your textbook, it is possible
to identify the different elements of an essay with the terms exposition, example, and
explanation.
Some sentences may serve more than one function, and complex sentences may do all
three at once (plus provide a transition!). So, be careful not to over-apply these terms.
Rather than handcuffing you to force you to write formulaically, these categories are
meant to assist you in developing your ideas.
You have to be familiar with other terms for these categories: some textbooks might call
exposition, Points and examples, Particulars. A summary of an article is the points
without the particulars (or the exposition without the examples). Most expressive and
informative writing, however, includes much more than just your points. Generally, readers need examples to understand your points, as well as further explanation of how you
came up with your points or how your examples add up to illustrate your generalizations.
Depending on your rhetorical situation, it might be necessary to be quite explicit about
your points. On the other hand, sometimes a well-chosen example speaks for itself; in
fact, if you spell out your main point and offer several supporting examples, readers
might be offended by the way you seem to be dumbing things down for them.
Writers also make choices about whether its necessary to begin a paragraph with a topic
sentence (a statement of exposition), or whether it might be more useful to draw readers into your paragraph by telling them a story. If you are writing about a touchy topic, it
might be more effective to start with a story; after capturing your readers attention, then
you can tell them what point your story might be illustrating or analyze the meaning of
these events.
Important Facts about Exposition
Not every paragraph has a statement of exposition. Dustin Furreys first paragraph
on the following page creates a compelling picture of a big fight between the writers
parents, a big fight that led to the familys economic decline. The writer has chosen to
tell the story before he offers any sentences summing up his meaning or reflecting on
the significance of this event.
Some paragraphs do include explicit statements of a writers points. In Dustin Furreys

second paragraph, I was in a working-class household that had finally achieved the
lower ranks of the middle class, is a statement of exposition, following a transitional
phrase (Prior to the big fight) which reminds readers of the story the writer has
already shared with them.
Important Facts about Examples
As discussed earlier, examples include concrete details that offer a clear illustration of
a writers points. The sample on the following page includes several concrete details,
notably the inescapable stench of hard liquor in the air in the first paragraph; and
cracks along the walls in the second paragraph. Details such as these help readers
visualize your description.
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Though summaries do not include specific examples, almost every other kind of writing you will do will require examples. Examples are an especially crucial aspect of
open-form writingwriting that relies on more implicit statements of meaning. In
this common type of writing, examples are deployed to actually make the writers
points; readers are expected to read between the lines in order to determine the writers meaning.
Important Facts about Explanation
Writers need to do more than just state their points (in sentences of exposition) and
illustrate their points (in sentences which include examples). They also need to provide a broader context for their ideas: explaining how they got from Point A to Point B
in their thinking; explaining how one point relates to other points in an essay; explaining how an experience is specifically relevant to an articulated point. In the example
below, the writer spends a lot of time explaining how his familys situation changed
throughout timehow they bought a house and then lost a house. While the second
paragraph includes several concrete details and explicit statements of meaning, the
bulk of the paragraph can be seen as explanation, articulating to readers how the
writer interprets his familys rise and fallin terms of both class status and happiness.
The best writers spend a lot of time providing analysis of their ideas and examples;
conversely, if you only have explanation that is not grounded by examples and
exposition, you are likely to have written a rantpotentially a lot of grammatically
fluent sentences that explore a subject for yourself without considering readers needs
for specificity.
(Excerpt from Dustin Furreys personal ethnography, A Strong Foundation)
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Dad told my sister, Kelli, and me to go to bed. The peace didnt last long. Screams soon ensued
from both parents, drawing Kelli back downstairs and luring me from the safety of my bedroom. I remember coming out of my room to stand in the hallway, half hidden behind the
entryway to the living room, finding Mom in an aggressive stance, as if ready to battle a fierce
gladiator to the death, and smelling the inescapable stench of hard liquor in the air. In between
thrown objects and the occasional slap, Mom was accusing Dad of everything from infidelity
to abuse and beyond.
Prior to the big fight, I was in a working-class household that had finally achieved the lower
ranks of the middle class. We had often moved around town, until we were able to afford that
house. Every other home that I can remember had cracks along the walls, rotting porches, or
neighbors who were louder and visibly more abusive than my family. I was so happy to finally
have my own room, after sharing one with my sister for as long as I can remember. This new
house was the symbol of our new life as a family, of a better life in general.
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
1. Make sure you are clear about what is happening in the story. At places where you
have questions about specific details, write these questions in the margin. Be specific. For example: How long had your family lived in this neighborhood? or How
could people tell that your car was old? Was it rusty? Did it have a big, boxy trunk?
or What were you wearing that made people assume you were a member of a lower
class?
2. Does the essay include characters and dialogue? How can the writer make the narrative more vivid?
3. Does the essay include some kind of conflict or tension? What is it?
4. What is the writers cultural identity?
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5. Is the writers culture illustrated and explained in the ethnography? If yes, sum up
how the paper does this; if no, make suggestions for what seems to be missing.
6. List two things the writer does especially well in the personal ethnography. (Keep in
mind that all papers have redeeming qualities!)
7. List two things that could be improved in the personal ethnography. (Keep in mind
that all papers have room for improvement!)
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RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Writer
Date
When handing in this paper, make sure to include the following:
Additionally, remember to do the following:
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Focuses upon an experience that is relevant

to the writers cultural identity. ( focus and
purpose)
Vividly narrates events depicted. ( focus and
purpose; development)
Organizes effectively. (organization)
Articulates the cultural identity being
explored. ( focus and purpose; development)
Explains how examples reveal significant
aspects of cultural identity. (development)
Uses concrete details and language appropriate

for audience; demonstrates control and variety
of language. (tone and style)
Essay is generally free of distracting
surface errors and mistakes. (editing and
proofreading)
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Notes:
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jPersonal Ethnography examples

Brandi Worster wrote this personal ethnography in Crystal Bandels Expos I class. It
was published in the 2011 Prairie Lights.
Strutting into the World of Femininity

Brandi Worster
One of the greatest adrenaline rushes I have ever felt was the moment before stepping on the stage. I could feel the heat of the lights beaming down on my face. I tried
to keep my perfectly painted on make-up from smearing by focusing on not sweating. The aroma of hairspray and other products burned my nose. The music was
playing loudly in the background, and the beat from the bass pounded into my heart,
but that was a good thing. I hoped that if I could synchronize my every step with the
beat then my score would increase. I had the built up pressure of knowing that about
twenty judges were watching my every move. I knew if I fell or stumbled just slightly
my chances of success were done. On top of that there were about 1,000 members in
the audience, some who were agents I would die to impress. All the attention would
be on me as I walked down the stage. My stage was a runway, and I was competing
for top model in the International Model and Talent Association competition.
As I was about to take the runway I could not help but flashback on what happened
that had caused me to become a model. Growing up I was always the tall girl. I was
the tallest among the students in my grade in elementary and middle school. At the
end of 8th grade, I was a towering 5 foot 7 inches. That does not seem like much, but
when none of the guys have reached their growth spurt, those were taunting inches.
It is one thing to be among the tallest in your classes, but to be the tallest female
added on a whole new meaning. Although I was skinny, I was not like the other girls
in my grade; they were short. This difference in height did not go unnoticed, no matter how much I would slouch. In class I would sit as low as possible in the chair to
avoid someone not being able to see behind me; if they could not, that only meant
one thing: I was too tall. I constantly tried to make myself seem shorter by hiding my
height, and the constant taunting furthered my hiding.
Some girls in my grade creatively made a new name for me: yeti. It became embedded in my life and was a name that I could not avoid. The girls would call out my new
name around every corner.
Here comes the yeti, the girls would warn and point.
Rather than saying a tall girl was coming, they incorporated the word yeti to give
the characteristic a more masculine and unflattering appeal. They said it so loud
everyone within a hundred foot radius would be completely aware that I was walking their way. Walking down the hallway, the word made its way to my ears as the
girls shouted it behind my back. No matter how much I tried to avoid the name, I
could not. I could hear it being repeated by the girls, and when it was not, it was running though my brain the rest of the time. I could not understand where the word
had come from. I was tall but not tall like a yeti. I was not hairy or masculine, and
I did not have messed up teeth. I constantly looked in the mirror to try and figure
out what about myself was yeti-like. Since I perceived a yeti as a masculine animal,
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I became obsessed with avoiding anything that was considered masculine. I started
to wear more make-up, dress in fancier clothes and dresses, and even began to lose
more weight. I had noticed that the taunting had stopped, but I did not want to stop
perfecting myself. I wanted to become what I thought was the ideal symbol of what
a woman was to me, a model.
As I snapped out of my flashback of wanting to become a model, I was awakened
into reality. My dream was about to become real. It was my turn to strut the runway,
and I had to make myself shine. I could hear the beat of the techno music, and it
was pumping through my veins. I could feel just where the light was hitting me, and
I used it to enlighten what I thought my best features were. I was feeling confident
and energized as I glided up the steps and stopped in the center to pose before I
embarked on my journey down the runway. I knew all eyes were on me and that this
was the perfect time to show who I had become; I now embraced my height rather
than dreaded it. I strutted down the runway gazing into the eyes of the judges. I
would stop and pose and stop and spin. I could feel in my heart that I was shining.
At the end of the competition I had received 6th overall in runway out of about 600
contestants in my age group. I had achieved becoming a model and achieved what I
had always wanted to do. I had turned my height into something feminine.
Analysis
Growing up I always thought that if you were biologically female that no one would
question your gender. I did not realize that in society, physical characteristics are
what actually make up your gender. After being taunted about my height I learned
that there are socially-constructed standards on what is masculine or feminine.
The female group in society has more standards based on appearance. As a female
I felt the pressure of these standards when my own appearance was classified as
being more masculine. These standards affected the way I perceived myself. Having
always seen myself as feminine, I now questioned my every physical feature as being
masculine.
The girls who were bullying me had a constant obsession with how I looked. They
were doing it because of a peculiarity they did not like. They made fun of my height
because it did not fit into their perception of normal attributes of females. By doing
this they proved that this female group values characteristics that fall into accord
with what a normal female should look like. Society is full of these ideas of what
is considered normal and in turn absolute because of the influence of the media.
In the video, Killing Us Softly 3: Advertisings Image of Women, Jean Kilbourne said,
The primary purpose of the mass media is to sell products. Advertising does sell
products, of course, but it also sells a great deal morePerhaps most important of
normalcyThe ideal is based on absolute flawlessness.Women are acceptable only
if we are young, thin, white, and beautiful. Any deviation from this stands out as not
acceptable and the person therefore should change their appearance. To my female
bullies who were much shorter than me, I stood out. I deviated from the norm and,
through the bullying, was expected to change from the pressure.
Societys standards on what a female should look like are based on what they consider
faultless and beautiful, and I wanted to be just that. During and after I was being bullied for my height, I became obsessed with my physical appearance. According to the
girls who bullied me, I was not considered perfect because they made a connection
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between my tallness and masculinity through the use of the word yeti. My peculiarity of being tall did not fall into the idea of femininity. Since I could not physically
change my height, I tried to change everything else about me. I constantly tried to
refine my face by using make-up because my newly profound goal was to make my
face as flawless as possible. I wore only the in fashion that I saw in magazines such
as Elle. Although I was already skinny, I kept losing weight until I was about 60%
underweight for my height and age. The changing of my appearance was me trying
to conform to the standards of what was ideally feminine. I was now what Kilbourne
said society believes as normal. I was now flawlessyoung, thin, white, and beautiful, except for one aspect.
By molding myself to the ideal characteristics of females I was identifying and clarifying my gender; however, there was one fault that I could only change how it was
perceived. Since my height conflicted with the ideal characteristics of a female, my
height was not valued highly. Instead, it was valued poorly and considered not a feminine aspect whatsoever. In the modeling and fashion world this outlook on height
was the opposite. The models in the media and magazines gave me the idea of what
I needed to look like in order to be considered feminine. A majority of the models
in magazines and on runways are tall and suggested to have a minimum height of
five foot seven inches. All of the models have no imperfections such as pimples or
even freckles. They are all noticeably thin and potentially underweight. They sport
the highest and most popular fashion because that is their job. These trademarks of
a model represent what society considers beautiful in a female and, therefore, the
definition of femininity. I thought to myself this was a group that was considered
feminine that I could classify myself with. In order to classify myself I could not just
look like a model, I needed to be a model.
After having physical features and values that conflicted with the gender group I
considered myself a part of, I learned that these miniscule differences made a big
difference in how society perceived me and, in turn, how I perceived myself. After
my bullying incident and the transition into my modeling career, my newly profound
obsession with my physical appearance changed my values. Before all of these events
I could care less about my appearance. Society, namely my female bullies, showed
me just how important physical appearance is in determining gender and identity.
I constantly nit-picked my every physical feature and became obsessed with how
others perceived my appearance. I flipped through magazines and took notes in my
head on how the models and celebrities looked in the pictures. If these females were
considered in and normal, I wanted to look just like them. Jean Kilbourne said,
[W]hats most important about women is how we look. My values shifted more
towards my outer essence than inner. Not only did I value my physical features but
I valued others physical features as well. I looked at other peoples appearance and
began to categorize them into masculine or feminine. In the end I was doing just
what society has taught me to do: I was judging a book by its cover. j
Work Cited
Kilbourne, Jean. Killing Us Softly 3: Advertisings Image of Women. YouTube. YouTube,

4 Oct. 2006. Web. 13 Feb. 2011.
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Katie Brophy wrote this personal ethnography in Emi Griesss Expos I class.
Moving into my Gender Identity

Katie Brophy
I remember the day very clearly. It was a sunny spring day, with the faint aroma of
flowers beginning to blossom. I had just gotten home from school, where I was in the
third grade. My mom had picked up my brother, sister, and me from school that day,
and we were all just talking about how our days had been. It was really nothing out
of the norm. That was until she told us the news. My Uncle Tim was moving back to
Kansas City. After all these years of just seeing him on holidays, I was finally going to
be able to see him more. I couldnt believe it. Uncle Tim was my favorite uncle. I was
looking forward to showing him the strong independent young lady I was becoming,
and he would see the difference. As the days passed, I began to get antsy. I began to
periodically check the clock, as if I were waiting for it to miraculously skip forward to
the time when I would be leaving to go to my Uncle Tims new place. I was ready to
do everything in my power to ensure that my Uncle Tim would stay here in Kansas
City permanently. After what seemed like forever, the day finally came. It was move
in day. Not only was he coming back, but I would get to help him move into his new
house.
I remember the sense of excitement I felt when I saw that big, white truck with an
orange stripe and the writing U-Haul on its side. And there beside it stood my
Uncle Tim. He had not changed one bit. His hair was still jet black, and he called
me over in his soft, inviting voice, which, until that moment, I had not realized how
much I had missed it. Katarina, he said. It was his pet name for me. I absolutely
could not wait now to get into the truck and start helping out my uncle. There is just
something about a huge truck that seems to open up endless possibilities when you
are young. I kept imagining what might be in it. As my uncle and dad opened the
truck and began unloading everything from it, I decided I wanted to help. My dad
began telling me things to grab and ways I could help out, and I quickly got to work.
I grabbed whatever my little body could hold. The dry, rough, dirty cardboard boxes
began scratching up my soft tender skin. But I didnt care about how hard it was, nor
did I mind the musty smell of the truck that was now masking the spring scent of
flower blossoms. In my mind, it was a lot of fun proving how grown up I was. The
fact that I was capable of helping my dad and uncle, two men whom I really looked
up to, was a new experience. By helping them unload the truck, I was proving to
myself that I was beginning to become strong and capable like them. It was so intoxicating that I started to get carried away. I began picking up boxes that were heavier
and heavier and heavier.
Right about then would probably have to be when my Great Aunt Mimi came out. I
will never forget that moment. She came out in the evening as the sun was setting.
It was the ending to what had to have been a perfect spring day. She was wearing
her favorite dress, blue and white plaid, and she was walking out with the support
of her old, beat up walker. But to be honest, I didnt even notice her at first. I was so
wrapped up in my unpacking that I didnt know what was going on around me. That
is, until her persistent waving caught my attention. There I was, standing up in the
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truck, with a box of miscellaneous items I had just picked up. She was right beside
the truck, not threatening or anything of that nature, just simply standing there, trying to capture my attention. Little did I know what she was about to tell me.
As I was standing in the truck holding the box, she yelled at me, Katie, honey, why
dont we leave the unpacking for the stronger men? At first I didnt think much about
it. I just simply replied, Its all right. I can get it! She wouldnt take that as an answer.
She said, Katie, you need to come in. After all, who is going to help me make some
lemonade for the men? I was shocked by her words. Lemonade? Are you serious?
Cant they make their own? My mind began to wander thinking about the lemonade.
I began to imagine the taste of a sweet tall glass. Almost immediately my mouth
began to salivate. After realizing what I was doing, I quickly snapped back to reality.
People have survived without lemonade, and if anyone wanted it so badly, they were
fully capable of making some. Why should I give up something fun to do something
so boring, like making their lemonade? I could see the slight look of disgust in her
face. Her disapproval now was obvious. She was not pleased to see me working like
my dad or uncle. I was even more upset and puzzled. I tried to understand why my
great aunt would ask me to stop helping. After all, I was older and supposed to be
taking on more responsibility.
After what seemed like forever, but probably really was only a few seconds, a light
bulb finally went off in my head. I had done nothing wrong. In fact, the problem was
that I was doing too much. I was a young girl trying to do a mans job, or at least thats
how my great aunt saw it. Looking back now, I cant remember a time where I felt
more distant from my great aunt. I felt out of place, like I didnt belong anywhere. She
was telling me I didnt belong working beside the men. However, I certainly knew I
did not belong inside making lemonade for two men who were perfectly capable of
making it themselves. My world had been flipped upside down. I was in charge of
who I was and nobody else! It wasnt until later that I realized how ones environment
could affect ones gender identity.
Analysis
To this day, my stomach still does a flip every time I think of what Great Aunt Mimi
said to me. Not only did she ruin my fun that day, but she opened up a whole new
aspect of society which I had never known. Before this moment, I had never really
comprehended that society had expectations related to ones gender. I was me. I was
young. Yes, I was a girl. However, I was still strong and capable. At least thats what I
had always previously believed. No one had ever told me before that who I was supposed to be and how I was supposed to act was determined by my gender. I realized
I was a part of society, and as a member of society, I needed to figure out where I
belonged. After thinking about it, I could not help but laugh at my great aunt telling me to leave the lifting for the stronger men and come make some lemonade.
She was caught up in an older, more traditional culture, and was not able to see that
times were clearly changing. Women were establishing their independence more
and more each day, changing expectations and surpassing limitations that society
had originally placed on them, leaving some women confused.
Looking back on it, of course, I was pretty torn apart when I was first informed of
these traditional gender expectations of society. These were quite different from
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the expectations which I was raised with. My dad and my Uncle Tim both wanted
me to help out and become independent, while my great aunt wanted the complete
opposite of me. It was like I was being torn between two very different extremes
with no middle ground. One side was telling me to be independent and break away
from old traditional ideas. The other was telling me to stick to traditional views, relying completely on men. I found that my dad and uncles expectations of women in
society conflicted with those of my great aunts. Rick Nauer describes this conflict in
his article, Media Influences Change in Female Roles, when he says, Women are
expected to be both more independent and ambitious and more socially connected
and nurturing. The fact is that today, the identity which women are expected to
fulfill in society is inconsistent and very diverse, depending upon ones environment.
For me, the idea that I was expected to do something because of my gender was a
new monumental idea.
I think this experience will always be remembered by me because it was a true epiphany. It ruined my day, yes, but it opened my eyes. I finally had to face reality. I had
entered a new time in my life where not only was everything I thought and believed
important, but so was everything else that went on around me. I realized that there
was a lot more to life than I originally thought. Yes, it was important to be yourself
and who you are, but it was also important to succeed in life. And in order to succeed
in life, it was necessary to become a part of society, find your place in it, and face the
expectations. It didnt mean you had to accept these expectations or live by them in
any way. It meant you had to at least understand they were there.
While I was listening to my great aunt talk, I learned a lot. I learned that I would
and could never fully fit into a society where I was expected to be dependent upon
men. I began realizing how lucky I was to have grown up in an environment and
day and age where womens expectations were centered on independence. In the
past it was not always this way. In fact, the movement towards womens independence really did not pick up until recently. According to writer Cynthia Harrisons
article, The Changing Role of Women in American Society, women began establishing their independence in 1920, when the Nineteenth Amendment was added to
the U.S. Constitution (10). She goes on to explain the evolution of womens roles in
society since the 1920s, saying, The change in womens status in the decades since
World War II has been dramatic. The right of a married woman to work outside the
home is no longer in question, especially because most families with two parents
depend on a second income (12). Harrisons article proves that times are changing, along with womens roles in society. Not only were womens roles changing in
the 1920s, but they are still evolving even today. My experience validated this fact. I
realized that in todays society women were still seen to be weak and defenseless at
times, although these expectations were changing. Thinking about the women in my
own life whom I admired, specifically my mom, I realized that I did not have to be
this way. Even if society was telling me to act needy and defenseless, I did not have to
agree or live by it. I learned that a woman could still be a part of society today, even
if she was not the stereotypical woman who followed gender expectations from the
past. Even if there were these expectations, she could still be true to herself.
I am thankful for this experience. It was upsetting, but I believe it made me into
the person I am today. I take pride in my abilities and would rather work by myself.
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I accept help when I need it, but I challenge myself to be as independent as I can.
I took what my great aunt claimed was my identity in society, considered it, and
then created my own new gender identity. I learned that even though society places
expectations on its members, you can still choose who you want to be. No one can
force you. I saw that I was very fortunate to be where I am today, in a society which
accepts the changing identity and roles of women. The truth is that we need society
to survive. By creating societies, we have created certain identities, or generalizations, as to how people should fit in. Everybody is a part of society, and by being
a part of society we are affected by the expectations which it places upon us. It is
our duty to ourselves, as individuals, to choose to accept or form our own identity.
Even though society affects who we are, it cannot determine our whole identity. We
decide that for ourselves. j
Works Cited
Harrison, Cynthia. The Changing Role of Women in American Society. U.S. Society
& Values. June 1997: 1012. Print.
Nauert, Rick. Media Influences Change in Female Roles. 4 April 2011. PsychCentral.com. Web. 19 April 2011.
Dean Bergmeier wrote this personal ethnography in Abby Knoblauchs Expos I class.
The Death of a Hero

Dean Bergmeier
Being in the United States Army in a state of war doesnt necessarily mean that youre
going to war. I joined in 2006 under the delusion that I would be shipped immediately to a combat zone only to find myself in the Army Reserves Medical Command.
Despite my qualifications and distinguished status in training, it still took me nearly
three years to secure a deployment, but I finally got the chance to prove myself as a
soldier in mid-2009. Unfortunately the experience did not go exactly as planned and
my worldview would inevitably be shattered as a consequence.
I was working full-time for my unit in Topeka when I learned that a unit within the
same building, the 1908th Medical Detachment (CSC), was preparing to deploy later
that year. I thus engaged in a campaign to pester the detachment sergeant of that unit
until I found a slot to go along. It took several weeks of incessant questioning before I
was eventually told of a slot that had opened up and I was welcomed to transfer into
it. After that I called in some favors and pleaded with my chain of command to forget
their personnel numbers for a year and let me get some experience on true active
duty, and do it overseas as well. Eventually the papers were signed, I was transferred,
and my 09-10 deployment process began.
The first thing on the To-Do list was whats called SRP or Soldier Readiness Processing at Ft. Hood. It was during this event that my units cohesion, resolve, and
durability would be tested in ways that none of us could have imagined. We began
SRP early on the morning of November 5, 2009. Much was as we expected when we
215
arrived. We were greeted by a civilian coordinator who chauffeured us into a classroom for an hour or so worth of mandatory briefings, then we were directed to begin
the SRP process in different groups. After completing the stations within the main
dome building, I headed over to the medical building to finish out my days tasks.
By the time I made it to the end of the building to receive my smallpox vaccination,
it was sometime around 1:30 (or 1330 hrs military time). The doctor asked me a few
questions, stuck my arm about ten times with a small, infected needle, placed a bandage on my arm, told me not to be an idiot, and told me to go to the front and have a
seat. As I turned to grab my bag, all hell broke loose.
Yelling and gunshots erupted from the front of the building. I could see smoke rising to the ceiling near the door I had walked in. In disbelief I ran several scenarios
through my head as to what exactly was occurring. The number of shots being fired
gave me the impression that it could be a terrorist attack simulation (I was on Ft.
Hood during mobilization, and I had no idea how coordinated the training environment would be). I yelled across the building, still standing straight up and able to see
over the top edge of the cubicle walls, Is this a fucking test? to which I received the
reply, No, its not a fucking test! Hes fucking shooting people! I cant be sure to the
rate of fire but it seemed to be in the range of 12 shots a second nearly continuously, very monotonously, measured.
At this point I figured I had two choices, either cower in the back with the huddled
masses of nurses and soldiers with the hopes that whoever was shooting wouldnt
eventually make his or her way to the back and begin shooting the then trapped individuals, or I could move forward, towards the gunfire and attempt to get around the
shooter. As I began to creep forward toward the lateral break in the cubicle walls, I
saw SGT Winston, a friend from the unit creep along the southern wall toward the
back of the building. I also saw a SSG Bai from the 467th completely prostrate on the
ground, halfway in the aisle and halfway in the area with me, get up and run for the
southern door. It was when I looked down at him that I saw the first drops of blood
on the floor, likely tracked by his clothing or boots. It wasnt until I saw the blood that
the situation became real.
Throughout the shooting, I could hear people moaning; a pregnant woman was
repeating, My baby, somebody please save my baby; others were silent. I looked
into the hallway between the two main sections, and subsequently into the open
space where the waiting area with chairs had been. Directly in front of me, lying on
the ground was a large black sergeant. He was trying to remain still but was apparently disturbed by the copious amounts of blood he was lying in. The scene was
macabre and tragic; bodies crawled and writhed; some lay still. As I was peering
around the corner, I watched as a young soldier took a bullet either to his head or
neck as his hand shot up to the receiving area and blood spattered everywhere as he
screamed, Theres so much blood! I immediately recoiled from this vision of hell
and took cover once more behind a cubicle wall, cutting off my sight from the grotesque reality I had just faced.
I was struck with a longing, a longing for action. I wasnt alone in this; every time
the shooter stopped to reload his weapon, the building tensed with anticipation and
216
desire to move, but then the shooting would restart and we were once again helpless in the face of overwhelming force. I decided my best bet was to get around the
shooter and act from there.
The shooter had been traversing the northern half of the building, back and forth
between the waiting area and the hallway. He had not ventured to the far southern
edge to shoot down the corridor in which I, and many others at the end of the building behind a desk, sought refuge. This state did not last for long, however, as he
began to strafe further and further each time. I made the decision to move forward
up the middle aisle just before he appeared around the corner. I stepped past the now
motionless sergeant, over a toppled cubicle partition, past several unmoving bodies
and out the northern door. I then ran across the access road and began requesting a
phone from two of the onlookers who appeared to be in shock and/or disbelief.
The rest of the story played out as it did. I never again saw the shooter. I fled to the
interior of the sports dome when the shots began ringing from outside the medical SRP building. From that point on, I did my best to contribute to the care of the
wounded and calming of the civilian workers. One saving grace of being in a medical unit was that our medics sprang into action, saving as many as a dozen lives that
would have otherwise been in question.
Analysis
America is an interesting place to grow up in especially in an age of alternate cultures, shifting values, and declining religious faith. Oftentimes our cultural values
shift far slower than modern humanists would like us to believe. Tradition dies hard,
harder if its deeply instituted within a society. This is easily seen in our culture with
the pervasive influence of action movies and action movie heroes within the male
culture. Movies and the media in America love to focus on heroes. Recent examples
are Frank Millers 300, Avatar, Thor, etc. and some more classic examples include
anything with Bruce Willis, Clint Eastwood, and even further back, John Wayne.
These movies and iconic characters have formed the foundation on which America
has built its conception of the heroic ideal.
Manliness in the United States has many definitions, depending on what subculture
you ask. It seems though that regardless of progressive ideas about gender equality
and a desire to upend established gender norms, traditional conceptions of manliness pervade the mindsets of Americans. Mainstream movies, music, and literature
still portray the main character as a hero of some sort. Even when the main character
is a female, she tends to exhibit traditionally manly features such as strength, aggression, and outspokenness. My point is that given my childhood within this culture, I
grew up with a fairly clear idea of what it meant to be a man and what was expected
of me once I achieved that status.
I found that Im not the only one who has questioned his own manliness and courage in the face of senseless violence. Vietnam veteran Michael Bernhardt related his
story of confusion and self-doubt in Susan Faludis Newsweek article, The Dogs of
War. After playing witness and eventually whistle-blower to the Mai Lai massacre
in Vietnam, he found himself wondering if what he had done was the right thing.
By exposing the brutal conduct of fellow U.S. soldiers, he felt that he had violated a
217
code of manliness, for he says that in Vietnam, If you showed any sign of caring, it
was seen as a sign of weakness. If you were the least bit concerned about the civilians, you were considered pathetic, definitely not a man (Faludi). In my case, none
of these sentiments were actively voiced, but they manifested themselves within my
conscience nonetheless.
As an example of this heroic ideal and its connection to masculinity, I often cite
the first Die Hard movie starring Bruce Willis. In the movie John McClane flies to
where his wife and daughter have moved to see them for Christmas and ends up
foiling a terrorist plot to steal money from a major corporation. The heroic ideal
seems to revolve around the ability to overcome any adversity that one is faced with,
no matter the risks. This is only one example among a slew of American media that
saturates cable television and the box office. Masculinity is thus influenced by these
fictionally heroic characters.
Throughout my formative years and into early adulthood, I preferred an image of
myself that said I would stand up for justice and protect those weaker than me if
ever given the chance. This altruistic vision of myself was something I thought of as
innate, but unproven. I thought that surely given a situation where my life was on the
line I would choose to protect others over myself, that I would be John McClane and
take control of the situation by saving the day.
This assumption on my part was put into perspective on the 5th of November, 2009.
I had made some pretty ballsy moves by advancing instead of retreating from the
threat. Once the dust had settled that day, the full realization of my accomplishment
dawned upon me, and self-loathing set in. I comprehended that by my relocation
I had placed myself in a position relatively behind the shooter and in a position to
intervene. Instead of heroically confronting the shooter, possibly from an equalizing
position, I turned right instead and fled seeking the heroism of someone else.
Ive been told by many who were there, and more who werent, that I did the right
thing and that Ive got nothing to be ashamed of. This doesnt bear much weight
even given the knowledge that I was seeking help. Even my efforts in helping with
first aid measures inside the sports dome, even with consoling multiple individuals civilians and soldiers alike, even with the reassurance of so many that I was not
wrong in my decision, my conception of myself was completely at odds with the
evidence presented that day. Cognitive dissonance was tearing me apart inside. Over
the course of the last two years Ive had to grapple with the fact that I turned away
from direct intervention in a horrible massacre that, regardless of the probability of
success, could have saved others lives that day.
Redefining hero was one of my options. Reevaluating what it means to be a man,
what it means to stand for something is included in that. I could have concluded that
the heroic ideal set forth in literature and story dating back to Achilles in Homers
Illiad was simply a fantasy perpetuated by those who wished to romanticize the horrors of battle and war. Or I could accept the heroic ideal as I learned it and then deal
with the consequences. Namely that I had forsaken the ideal and thus my masculinity, I would have to contend with the possibility that I was and am a coward.
218
There were probably other options that I neglected to consider, it was on these two
options that I focused my internal reflection. If I chose the first option and rejected
the long-established tradition of masculinity in the heroic ideal, I would have to find
or create a new form to model myself upon. I found this choice to be as cowardly as
the act that instigated the consideration. A turning away from responsibility. This
was an unacceptable option. I would have to choose option two.
I did not come to this decision lightly. Much drinking and self-doubt and anathema
were had before I began to accept myself again without hatred and self-loathing. I
wont say that Im sentimentally attached to a classic vision of what it means to be
a man, or a hero. I will say that as a human being it would be foolish of me to stray
too far from the beaten path when it comes to patterns of behavior. The heroic ideal
has existed in one form or another throughout the history of Western Europe, a land
from which I draw my genetic and cultural heritage.
Although I chose to retain a model of the heroic ideal for myself and my conception
of masculinity, I could not leave it unaltered. I decided that folktales, myths, legends,
and popular culture were all romanticized and unrealistic forms of an ideal of masculinity. These sources were useful as loose recommendations for what to aim at as a
man, but they were not to be taken literally as blueprints for action.
My alterations did not forgive my transgression, however, and something had to be
done to alleviate the guilt and remorse I felt for my choices on that loathsome day.
Thus I have resolved that no matter the danger or situation, Ill never again turn my
back and run in a situation where theres even the slightest chance of me making
a difference. November 5, 2009 was the day the protagonist, the hero of my personal narrative died, and was reborn. Heroes traditionally have always had flaws and
defects; Ive had to face mine. I just hope that when the time comes Ill recognize
them once more and make a more fitting decision. I hope this not just for myself and
my ego, but for anyone whose well-being I have the chance to preserve. j
Work Cited
Faludi, Susan. The Dogs of War. Newsweek 13 Sept. 1999. ProQuest. Web. 12 Dec.
2011.
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CHAPTER 7
Reflection
This assignment asks you to reflect on your progress this semester as a writer, student,
and researcher of questions about communities and identities. Your essay will demonstrate to a specific audience how you have met, surpassed, or struggled with the objectives for this course. Make sure that you identify and develop a main point (or points)
about yourself. How do you want to characterize your progress as a writer to your readers? Also, keep in mind that the focus should be on you and your engagement with the
course rather than on an evaluation of the instructor, which youll have an opportunity to
do before the end of the semester.
This assignment allows you flexibility in choosing an audience and format for your essay.
You will use what you have learned about writing to help your chosen audience understand how you have progressed in this course. Make sure that your reflection has a purpose: you should have a motivation to write your reflectionand your readers should
have a motivation to read it.
To complete this assignment, follow the steps below.
1. Take a look at the course objectives at the beginning of this book and reflect on
your progress this semester. The following questions should help you to take stock of
where you started and where you have arrived:

What course objectives have you met? To what degree have you fulfilled them?
What objectives do you feel you are struggling with? Why do you think you are
having a difficult time with them?
Did you have any preconceptions when you first entered the class? Have these
changed at all during this semester? What aspects of the course have you found
surprising?
What have you learned about yourself as a writer, student, learner, researcher,
and thinker?
How have you changed as a writer, student, learner, or thinker?
What are some topics discussed in class that you found interesting?
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CHAPTER 7 Reflection
How has your writing and your thinking about the ideas discussed in class
changed over the semester?
How has your process of writing changed (finding ideas, drafting, revising)?
What essays, videos, or other class materials did you find most interesting or
react to most strongly? Why?
2. Complete the worksheets included in this chapter. What inferences can you make?
3. Choose an audience that you think would be interested in what you have to say about
your experience in the course. State your audience somewhere on your assignment.
Think about why this audience would be interested in reading about your experiences. Additionally, think about your own writing purpose: what is your purpose in
writing this reflection?
4. Choose a format that would be appropriate for your audience. You might consider
using one of the writing formats you have already used this semester, like a memo,
or you might consider using a new format, like a letter. This is a chance for you to be
creative. Whatever format you choose, make sure the organization is logical.
5. Make sure that you have a main point that connects to you as a writer and student
even though your thesis might not be explicitly stated.
6. Use specific examples from your own work (including descriptions of how you
wrote the assignments or brief direct quotations) as well as information from the
textbook.
7. Include explanation, making it clear how your examples support your stated points.
Objectives
222
Evaluate your progress as both a writer and critical thinker.
Synthesize information into a coherent, informative product.
Identify an audience that would have an interest in your essay.
Communicate effectively to your audience.
Demonstrate an understanding of the writing strategies and content covered in this

course.
Rationale
In your professional life, youll discover that youll need to evaluate your own performance. These are work-related writing responsibilities, oftentimes called yearly reviews
or self evaluations, in which you are asked to make general claims about your job effectiveness and then find specific examples to support these claims you are making about
yourself. Moreover, reflection as a learning strategy has been determined to be a powerful way to enhance learning. Once you figure out who you are as a learner and how best
you learn, then you can become more in control over what you are learning and why you
are doing what you are doing.
Worksheet #1
Considering your
writing, what went
well?
Considering your
writing, what did you
struggle with?
Considering the
issues covered, what
did you learn?
Considering both the

issues covered and
your writing, how can
you use what youve
learned?
Paper
One
Paper
Two
Paper
Three
7
Paper
Four
223
Worksheet #2
Ideas/
Concepts
Privilege
Gender
Class
7
Race and
Ethnicity
224
Original Impressions
Most Memorable
Essays/Films
Most Memorable
Discussions/Activities
Current Insights
Workshop guide
Writer
Date
Reader
Reflection
1. Has the writer identified a specific audience? If so, list the audience. If not, suggest a
possible audience.
2. Does the writer indicate how and to what degree they fulfilled (or surpassed? or
didnt quite meet?) the course objectives listed at the beginning of the book?
3. What is the writers main point? Overall, what does he/she say about himself or herself as a writer, student, learner, and thinker?
225
4. Are there specific examples and details (from the writers previous work or from
students experience) that help support the writers points? If not, mark areas with an
X where the writer could use more detail. In the margins, offer ideas for how the
writer could provide more details and examples.
5. Does the writer offer adequate explanation for his or her points? Does the writer
offer explanation of how the examples support the points? If not, mark the areas that
do not have adequate explanation with MORE. Write questions in the margins that
will help the writer to expand her or his explanations.
6. List two things the writer does especially well in the reflection. (Keep in mind that all
papers have redeeming qualities!)
226
7. List two things that could be improved in the reflection. (Keep in mind that all papers
have room for improvement!)
RUBRIC
Writer
Date
Reflection
When handing in this paper, make sure to include the following:

Additionally, remember to do the following:

Indicate the targeted audience somewhere on the reflection.
Revise carefully, particularly since you have a limited amount of time for revision.
Criteria
Unacceptable
(No Pass)
Acceptable
(Low Pass)
Average/
Above Average
(Pass)
Excellent
(High Pass)
Focuses on the writers progress and experience as both a writer and critical thinker.
(focus and purpose)
Includes specific examples to help support
the main points. (development)
Includes explanations of how the examples
illustrate the main points. (development)
Organizes the information effectively.
(organization)
Communicates effectively to its intended
audience. (focus and purpose; tone and style)
Effectively uses an appropriate format for its
purpose and audience. (focus and purpose;
organization)
Generally free of distracting surface errors

and mistakes. (style and editing)
227
Notes:
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Handbook
Writers Notes
One strategy you can use in your writing process is to reflect on what you have written.
Making Writers Notes after you have finished writing a paper can help you to think
about how you got to this stage of the writing process, what you might have done differently, and what you feel youve done well in writing the paper. You should answer the
questions on the Writers Notes form before handing in a draft of your paper to be
graded.
1. Considering the writing of this paper, what went well? Why?
2. Considering the writing of this paper, what did you struggle with? Why?
3. Considering the issues we explored in this unit, what did you struggle with? Why?
8
4. Considering both the issues we explored in this unit and the writing of this paper,
how could you use what youve learned?
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Revision Plan Form

Make sure you incorporate a get-distance step before focusing on revising. That way,
youll approach your revision with fresh eyes. This form should accompany your carefully
highlighted revisionwith all notes, drafts, comments, etc.
Worksheet Portion
1. List teachers praise comments in the space below (its fine to summarize comments,
as long as you do so accurately).

From the teachers response sheet (global comments):
From the margins (addressing details/examples):
2. The above are just some of the things Ive done well on this paper. How can I best
repeat my successes?
3. List the main points of my teachers revision advice in the spaces below (again, summarize, striving for accuracy as you do so).

From the teachers response sheet (global comments):
From the margins (prompts for rethinking):
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4. The above are the problems that my teacher found most noticeable. How can I best
avoid repeating such problems as I re-envision my topic?
Revision Plan Portion (Attach a separate sheet if you need more space.)
My revision plans, based on the response sheet and margin comments that make the
most sense to me, as well as my own careful rereading of my essay are outlined below:
(See the suggestions on the next page.)
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Getting Started on Your Revision Plan

If youre having trouble getting started on your revision plan, consider the following revision questions.
Purpose/Focus
Do I make a clear point, whether stated or implied? What is my main point for this
essay, or for a particular section of my paper? Do I relate my entire essay to my main
point in some way (by references, transitions, inferences, etc.)?
Development
Where do I need concrete examples to make my paper clearer? Where would illustrations help my audience understand a subpoint? Where do I need specific details
to clarify abstract claims or explanations?
Tone/Audience
Who is my audience? Where do I forget to consider my audiences needs?

Organization
Where do I need to do some rearranging, to make my ideas easier to follow? Where

do I need to make my transitions smoother?
Conventions
What corrections do I need to make (grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.) to avoid

interrupting my audiences reading of my paper?
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
The Three-Ex Guide to Developing Your Ideas

Deborah Murray
Employing the 3-Ex StrategiesExposition, Example, Explanationhelps writers
figure out which aspects of their essays need more development. Often, a novice
writer may have lots of examples, but she may not have provided any articulation of
points and subpoints. This reliance on facts without any framework of ideas is especially typical of papers including research. An over-reliance on source information
results in the infamous data dump.
The three-ex guide is not intended to serve as a means of organizing or outlining an
essay. Instead, it should help writers figure out which areas of their essay need development. I came up with this scheme in working with writers in the Writing Center
and in my classes.
These terms came to me as I was helping one writer (Christine) with her research
paper on sleep. She had neglected to determine the main points of these sources, so
she relied on quoting a few fascinating facts. All of these facts were loosely related to
the topic of sleep, but few of them were related to her overall claim. To demonstrate
this problem to my student, I scheduled a conference. I shared with her the graphic
(Exposition, Example, Explanation).
Using three highlighters, I explained what each of these aspects was, and then
handed the highlighters to Christine. With the help of the highlighters, she discovered that her paper was mostly pink (examples). She had some exposition (yellow)
at the beginning and end of her essay, but she had no explanation (blue). And, of
course, the reason that she didnt have explanation is that she could not explain how
the quotes supported her points, because they did not. In fact, in some cases, there
were no claims (exposition) there for her facts (examples) to support. By highlighting
her own essay, Christine could see the essays problems.
Her original draft was a data dump, containing lots of examples from her sources.
Christine went back to the drawing board. She collected (with my help) a couple
more sources from newspapers. These new sources were relevant to her essays point,
and now it was easier for her to find relevant support in two of her original sources.
Christine learned that even though she was required to use research for this paper, the
bulk of the essay should be her own writing: stating her claims, then explaining how
the quoted material supported her claims. Most of the essay should be exposition (yellow) and explanation (blue), with the examples (pink) only in support of her points.
I introduce this color coded chart to demonstrate to novice writers a way to develop
their essay. Many paragraphs have at least one sentence for each of the three categories: exposition, example, and explanation. Of course, experienced writers will
produce paragraphs which (when analyzed and highlighted) display much more
complicated color schemes: sentences that are green and purple as the colors blend
together. Students can strive to achieve this more complex style, but for most beginning writers, Im quite satisfied with style reflected by the three basic colors. The
most developed paragraphs, when analyzed and highlighted, are mostly blue.
These terms do not need to appear sequentially; in fact, some paragraphs may
lead with an example. Other paragraphs may not include explicit exposition. Some
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paragraphs are primarily transitional, so they may not have all either exposition,
examples, or explanation. No one-size-fits-all rule exists for paragraph development.
Use these terms as a strategynot as a stencil. j
Visual Representation of the Three-Ex Strategies

EXPOSITION
Approximately 14 sentences.
(What is the point? Why is it relevant?)
EXAMPLE
Approximately 12 sentences for each point.
(Fact(s), quotes, and other types of evidence from observation or research.)
EXPLANATION
Approximately 26 sentences for each example.
(Links fact(s) to point and explains its significance. Also may
include scenarios as illustration of facts significance.)
Exposition Sentences State Your Claim(s) or Subclaim(s)
They introduce ideas and tell readers why your ideas are important. Sometimes this type
of sentence might be called a topic sentence, main point, or even a thesis statement.
While not every paragraph requires an explicitly stated point, many types of writing do
require that you have explicit statements of exposition. When highlighting paragraphs
within your essay, think of exposition sentences as yellow.
Example: The text in the ad indicates the importance of physical appearance.
Example Sentences Provide Support for the Exposition
Your support might come from research, from close reading of a text you are responding to, or from your own experience and observation. Generally, you should have at least
two examples for every major point of exposition in your essay. When highlighting paragraphs within your essay, think of example sentences as pink.
Example: The answer in the pink box reads, I love my mother, but I dont love her thighs.
Explanation Sentences Explain How Your Example(s) Illustrate Your Exposition
These sentences show readers how you got from Point A to Point B. How exactly do
your examples support your point? Also, how does a paragraphs point relate to previous
points made? How do you define important terms of your discussion? When highlighting
paragraphs within your essay, think of explanation sentences as blue.
Example: This answer stresses the idea of maintaining what the woman considers to be a
positive physical appearance.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Open versus Closed Form: Determining the Most

Appropriate Structure for an Essay
In school, most of us learn a variety of rules for organizing our writing. While some of
these rules can be helpful, not all rules suit all writing tasks. And, in fact, the more proficient you become as a writer, the more restrictive you may find these rules. What may
be more useful is a set of criteria to consider when determining what the most effective
organizational strategy for an essay might be. Here is a brief discussion of the two broad
categories of organizationopen and closed.
A type of organization called closed form may be the one youre most familiar with.
The five-paragraph structure you may have learned to follow for time-writing situations
is an example of this type of form. In a five-paragraph essay, the introduction introduces
a point and three subpoints; each paragraph develops one point, and the conclusion
restates the previously discussed points. This structure can be quite useful to help you
organize your ideas, but it can also be fairly repetitive and restrictive. What if you only
have one central point, but you need several paragraphs to present it fully?
Most documents using closed form are less restrictive than the five-paragraph essay. The
most common feature of closed form writing is that the opening paragraph gives readers
a clear statement of the essays central point. This thesis claim can be read as a promise
one that readers will expect be fulfilled in the subsequent paragraphs. In closed form,
most paragraphs have a topic sentence (though it may not be the first sentence in the
paragraph). Generally, all sentences in each paragraph are specifically related to the topic
sentence. A closed form essays conclusion sums up the points under discussion; for a
short essay, these points may not need to be reiterated systematically, but in a longer
essay, an essays conclusion does restate the essays claims point by point. Most standard
academic writing employs closed form structure.
Open form organizationas its name impliesis less rigid than closed form. This type
of essay still needs to be focused and developed, but it is less structured. Rather than
relying on an explicit statement of points, this type of essay relies on detailed, memorable
examplesoften from the writers personal experience or observation. Also, open form
prose makes use of figurative language and appeals to the readers senses in its specific
use of detail.
236
Most essays employ both open- and closed-form features. For example, in open form
writing, a writer may still occasionally be explicit about a central point. Also, in closed
form writing, a writer may include some personal examples and detailed descriptions.
Also, not every paragraph in a closed form essay has to be presenting a point. For example, some paragraphs may be transitional. Also, writers using both kinds of organizational
structures may use a short paragraph to get readers attention in order to emphasize an
important idea or detail.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
The chart below gives you a number of criteria to consider when determining the most
suitable organization for a writing task. The boxes are checked based on the most suitable
form for each consideration. Each rhetorical situation will have a variety of constraints
to consider, so it is helpful to practice making your own choices about each writing tasks
organization.
Criteria
Open Form
Reader is likely to be suspicious of/or doubtful of writers

points and information shared (so personal experience
or hypothetical examples may help draw readers in).
Reader is likely to be welcoming of/or open to writers

points and information shared.
To your target audience, your personal opinion on a
subject is more important than the factual information
provided in your essay.
To your target audience, the factual information provided in your essay is more important than your personal
opinion on a subject.
Your readers are likely to enjoy (and perhaps be influenced by) an individual approach to a subject.
Your readers expect a predictable, straightforward

approach to a subject.
Your target audience appreciates subtlety; if you state
your points directly, they will feel preached to.
Your target audience includes busy professionals who
need to be guided by explicit statement of your points.
Closed Form
Activity
In terms of a writing tasks rhetorical situation, what other criteria might be important to
consider in determining whether to adopt closed or open form?
8
The writers of this textbook have given you practice in both open and closed forms. Now
that youre familiar with the list of criteria above, you should be able to understand the
choices they made. Remember, though, that your best organizational strategy depends
on your individual rhetorical situation.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Activity
This textbooks assignments ask you to use the following formats:
Open Form
Closed Form
Informative Report
With and Against the Grain
Gender Analysis
Analytical Profile
Reflection
Consulting the chart above, describe a hypothetical scenario when it might be better to choose open form for the informative report or closed form for the personal
ethnography.
Subject
Reader
Writer
Hayden-McNeil, LLC
Punctuation Made Simple1

Gary A. Olson
Introduction
Some people write well but allow themselves to be disabled by a fear of punctuation
and grammar. They know how to prewrite, organize, and revise, but proofreading
for punctuation and grammar causes them difficulties. Theres no need to fear these
conventions of standard written English. In fact, these conventions can help you
become a more effective communicator.
Punctuating Your Prose

Before discussing specific punctuation marks, we want you to know one important
fact: punctuation is simple. Many people believe that punctuation rules are rigid
commandments and that only the experts know all the rules. You may be surprised
to learn, however, that it is not the experts but rather educated speakers and writers, such as yourself, who have established the practices that have come to be known
as the rules of punctuation. In other words, over the years good writers have used
punctuation in ways that have made their messages especially clear to their readers.
From <http://lilt.ilstu.edu/golson/punctuation/>.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Writers have agreed to follow these practices because they have proven to be so
effective.
As an analogy, think of the traffic signs that govern the rules of the road. When you
see a red blinking light or an octagonally shaped red sign, you bring your vehicle to a
full stop; when you see a blinking yellow light, you proceed with caution. These traffic rules help make driving safe and efficient. But theres no reason why a red blinking
light signifies a complete stop; it well could have been any other color. The caution
light, too, could very well have been another color. The important fact to remember
is that drivers have agreed to follow these signals and to do certain things when they
come upon them. The same is true with punctuation marks: writers have agreed that
certain marks will signify specific things in written communication.
The rules of punctuation are not static; they have changed throughout the years and
will continue to change. What once might have been considered improper punctuation may now be considered correct. The rules of punctuation are created and maintained by writers to help make their prose more effective, and their exact meaning
changes over time, just as traffic rules evolve with time. (For example, in many states
it is now acceptable to make a right turn at a red light if no oncoming vehicles are in
sight.) At any point in time, a particular punctuation mark means what writers agree
it means; as consensus shifts, so will its meaning.
If you approach punctuation with this understanding of its origin and flexibility, you
will not be intimidated by the conventions of punctuation.
In Punctuation Made Simple, we discuss several of the most useful punctuation
marks that you will use as a communicator. Instead of listing many rules, as a grammar
book does, we discuss these various marks in general so that you can get a sense of how
to use them in your own prose. Of course, every communicator should own and use a
grammar handbook as a reference tool. You will still want to refer to such a book when
you come upon a particularly difficult punctuation problem. Here, however, we are
most concerned with helping you develop a feel for the way punctuation works.
The Colon
You might be surprised to learn that the colon is one of the most helpful and easiest
to use of all the punctuation marks. You dont need to remember six or seven rules to
understand how a colon works. In prose, a colon really does only one thing: it introduces. It can introduce just about anything: a word, a phrase, a sentence, a quotation,
or a list. Youll notice that weve used colons in the two preceding sentences to introduce a sentence, in the first case, and a list, in the second case. This is how simple the
colon is. Lets look at some other examples:
Joe has only one thing on his mind: profit.

Joe has only one thing on his mind: his stock portfolio.
Joe has only one thing on his mind: he wants to get rich.
Joe has three things on his mind: stocks, bonds, and certificates of deposit.
We have used a colon in these four sentences to introduce various kinds of things: a
word, a phrase, a sentence, and a list. You can use a colon in your prose in any place
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where you must directly introduce something. A colon gives special emphasis to
whatever youre introducing because readers must first come to a stop, and so they
pay more attention to it. For example, lets say you are writing a letter describing a
product, and you want to emphasize above all that this product, the Jacobsen lawn
mower, is reliable. You could very well write:
The Jacobsen lawn mower beats its competitors especially in the key area of
reliability.
While this sentence gets the point across, it doesnt place much emphasis on reliability. A sentence using a colon is much more emphatic:

e Jacobsen lawn mower beats its competitors especially in one key area:
Th
reliability.
Notice that the second example places clear emphasis on the point that the writer is
trying to communicate to his or her reader: that the Jacobsen lawn mower is above
all reliable. The writer of this sentence has used the colon effectively.
Perhaps the most common way to use a colon is to introduce a list of items, as in this
sentence:

is report reviews five main criteria to determine whether to purchase the IBM
Th
PC: hardware, software, maintenance agreements, service, and customer support.
If you arent sure whether you need a colon in a particular sentence, here is a handy
test: read the sentence, and when you reach the colon, substitute the word namely; if
the sentence reads through smoothly, then theres a good chance that you do need a
colon. For example, you can read any of the example sentences above with the word
namely in the place of the colon:
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] profit.
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] his stock portfolio.
Joe has only one thing on his mind [namely] he wants to get rich.
Joe has three things on his mind [namely] stocks, bonds, and certificates of
deposit.
This test may not work 100 percent of the time, but it is a fairly reliable indicator of
whether you need a colon.
240
One word of caution: do not place the colon after the verb in a sentence, even when
you are introducing something, because the verb itself introduces and the colon
would be redundant. For example, you would not write:

My three favorite friends are: Evelyn, Marlyne, and Ronni.
The colon is not necessary in the sentence above because the verb does the work
of introducing the three friends. You can check this sentence by using the test we
just mentioned. It would seem awkward to read this sentence, My three favorite
friends are, namely, Evelyn, Marlyne, and Ronni. The fact that the sentence is awkward when you read it with namely is an indication that the colon is unnecessary.
Remember, the colon shows emphasis and, therefore, you want the reader to stop at
the colon before proceeding on to whatever it is you are introducing.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
The Semicolon
The semicolon is another important tool you can use when you write. There are two
ways to use this punctuation mark: as a connector between two sentences and as a
supercomma.
1. To Connect Two Sentences
The semicolon is most often used to connect two sentences. Obviously, the sentences
ought to be relatively close in content, but other than that you can connect any two
sentences with a semicolon.
The diagram below may help you remember this usage:
SENTENCE ; SENTENCE
As a communicator, you are always putting together complex items in your prose
and showing how they relate to one another. A semicolon is an economical way to
join two sentences, and therefore two ideas, so that your reader sees the relationship.
For example, you may write any of the following sentences:
Jim is a good typist; he makes few mistakes.
The AFC Corporation is an excellent company to invest in; its investments have
risen sharply and steadily over each of the last ten years.
Ms. Sanchez is a successful real estate salesperson; however, she was unable to
sell her own house.
Each of the three examples above contains two sentences glued together by a semicolon. The second part of each sentence makes a comment on the first. Certainly,
each sentence could be written as two sentences, but you wouldnt be expressing
the close relationship between the two parts that you do when you use a semicolon.
With two separate sentences, the reader must stop at the period of the first sentence
and then begin to read the second; with two sentences connected by a semicolon, the
reader does not come to a full stop and, therefore, the relationship seems that much
closer. Also, this type of sentence allows you to express your ideas economically.
The important point to remember is that you must have a complete sentence on
both sides of the semicolon. If your second sentence begins with a conjunction (and,
but, or, etc.), you do not need a semicolon because the conjunction and the comma
that usually goes with it are equivalent to a semicolon. Instead, combine two full sentences with the semicolon.
Sometimes a sentence may begin with words like however, therefore, and nevertheless. If your second sentence begins with one of these words, and if it is indeed a full
sentence, you still must use a semicolon to connect the two. The sentence about Ms.
Sanchez illustrates this use.
A word of caution: never glue two sentences together with only a comma. Grammarians call this sentence error a comma splice. Here is an example of two sentences
connected with only a comma:
The banking community became quite upset at the rise in the prime rate, bankers felt that they would ultimately lose a considerable amount of money.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
A comma splice is considered ungrammatical because the reader begins reading the
second sentence before realizing that the first sentence is completed. Readers are
used to stopping at the end of a sentence, and they become disoriented when they
find that they have unknowingly left one sentence and entered a new one. This is
why effective writers avoid the comma splice. Here are two additional examples of
comma splices:
Ms. Linccini is a fine worker, she meets all her deadlines.
Our sales have increased by twenty percent, our inventory has been reduced by
thirty percent.
Each of the examples above constitutes two sentences glued together with a
comma. You can correct a comma splice by inserting a semicolon between the
two sentences, by adding a comma to your conjunction, or, of course, by punctuating them as two sentences. Whichever way you choose, however, you must
make sure your final drafts do not contain comma splices.
There is one instance in which a comma splice is considered acceptable. Occasionally, you may have a list of items that could stand alone as full sentences. You may use
commas to attach these items so long as it is clear to the reader that this is a list of
relatively equal items. Here is an example:
I opened the safe door, I took out the money pouch, and I concealed it in my desk
drawer.
The example above shows a list of three items and illustrates a step-by-step process.
Even though the items all constitute full sentences, it is acceptable to use commas
to attach them but only because they are members of a larger list. If you are unsure
about using commas to connect sentences in a list, perhaps it is best to rewrite the
sentence. Do, however, stay alert for any two sentences in your prose that are connected by only a comma.
Related to the comma splice is the run-on sentence. Run-on sentences, often
called fused sentences, are two sentences punctuated as if they were one. In
other words, a run-on is a comma splice without the commatwo sentences
smashed together with no punctuation between them. Here are two sample
run-ons:
Chu Lie is the foreman Joseph Garcia is the line boss.
I knew that the new personnel policy would cause problems the union is reacting
quite vehemently.
242
As you can see, each of the two samples above is composed of two sentences. The
writer should have connected the sentences with a semicolon or punctuated them
as separate sentences. Again, you dont have to worry about such matters until the
proofreading stage, but you must make sure your final draft doesnt contain run-on
sentences.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
2. As Supercomma
As you know, you normally separate the members of a list with commas, as in this
sentence:

I have just bought shares in IBM, USAG, and ITT.
The commas let the reader know where one item ends and the next begins. Sometimes, however, you have a list of complex items and one (or more) of the items
already contains a comma. In such a case, the reader is likely to get confused about
what is really a member of the list and what is not. You can avoid this confusion by
making the semicolon a sort of supercomma. Look at the following sentence to see
how the supercomma works:
Suncom Corporation has subsidiaries in four cities: New York, New York, Wilmington, Ohio, Houston, Texas, and San Francisco, California.
This sentence contains so many commas, both between the members of the list and
within them, that readers are likely to become confused. Instead, you can make the
semicolon a supercomma between each of the members so that your meaning is
clear:
Suncom Corporation has subsidiaries in four cities: New York, New York; Wilmington, Ohio; Houston, Texas; and San Francisco, California.
The second sentence is clearer than the first because the reader knows exactly where
members of the list begin and end. You probably will not need to use a semicolon as a supercomma often, but if your sentence contains a list of items, one (or
more) of which already contains a comma, you can clarify your meaning by using the
supercomma.
The Comma
The comma tells the reader to pause, just as the blinking yellow light tells a driver
to slow down and proceed with caution. Some writers can tell where a comma is
needed by reading their prose aloud and inserting a comma where there seems to
be a clear pause in the sentence. This may work much of the time if you read the
sentence carefully and accurately. However, this procedure is not the most precise
way to approach comma usage. Below are four general ways to use commas with a
reasonable degree of certainty.
1. Between Items in a Series
When you are listing three or more items in a sentence, simply place a comma
between each member of the list. Here are two examples:
Mr. Sanchez used the money that he won from the sweepstakes to buy a house, a
car, and a small yacht.
We will purchase the stock if the price is lowered to $30 per share, if we are
allowed to buy a block of over 10,000 shares, and if we receive a guarantee that
no new shares will be created in the next fiscal year.
The commas above clearly mark where one member of the list leaves off and the
next one begins. There is no mystery in how to use the comma in these kinds of
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
sentences. What is often unclear, however, is whether to include the comma between
the last and second-to-last items in a list. In the past, it was considered improper to
omit the final comma in a series, but modern writers believe that the conjunction
(and, but, or) does the same thing as a comma: it marks the place between two items
in the set. These writers have argued that a sentence is more economical without an
unneeded comma. As a result, you now have the option to choose whether to include
the final comma.
Nevertheless, many people still follow the old rule and expect to see the final comma.
Also, if your list is rather complex, omitting the comma may confuse the reader about
where the second-to-last item leaves off and the last begins. In this case, of course,
you would want to include the comma in order to avoid confusion. Perhaps it is best
to get into the habit of always using the comma between the last two items in order to
avoid all controversy. You do, however, have the option to omit it.
2. Between Two Sentences
Youll remember that a semicolon is used to connect two sentences. However, more
often we glue two sentences together with a comma and conjunction (such as and
or but). In fact, if you examine a document you have written recently, you are likely
to find many such sentences; theyre so common that you dont even realize you
are writing them. When you do put two sentences together with a conjunction, you
must also include a comma. That is, the conjunction and comma are equivalent to a
semicolon when youre connecting sentences. Here are three examples:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company, and it has
agreed to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
I knew that the price of IBM stock would increase after it entered the home computer market, but I had no idea that the price would skyrocket.
I first conducted a thorough audit of the company, and I then interviewed the
manager to try to determine how much money was missing.
Each sentence above is made up of two sentences glued together with a comma and
conjunction. For example, the first sentence is made up of the following:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company.
It has agreed to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
All you need remember is this: when youre connecting two sentences with a conjunction, you must also include a comma because the conjunction and comma work
together as a team. Perhaps this diagram will help you remember:
SENTENCE , conjunction SENTENCE
Often you may use a conjunction but not have a complete sentence on both sides of
it. In this case you do not need a comma. For example, you could easily rewrite the
above sentences so that one part of each sentence is not a full sentence:
The Suncom Corporation has just acquired the OILCO company and has agreed
to sell OILCOs oil-drilling rights in Texas as soon as possible.
244
I knew the price of IBM stock would increase after it entered the home computer
market but had no idea that the price would skyrocket.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
I first conducted a thorough audit of the company and then interviewed the
manager to try to determine how much money was missing.
Because in the above examples you do not have full sentences on both sites of the
conjunction, theres no need to include a comma.
One last bit of advice: if your sentence is very short (perhaps 5 to 10 words), you do
have the option of omitting the comma if you wish. You have this option because
your reader can usually understand a short sentence more readily than a long one,
and therefore you would not need a comma for readability. Here is an example:
Mr. Santana is old and he is wise.
This sentence is so short that you may omit the comma. Remember, punctuation is
meant to help the writer and the reader, not to make their jobs more difficult. Thats
why you may opt to omit the comma between these two short sentences.
3. To Attach Words to the Front or Back of Your Sentence
Most of the sentences we compose really consist of a short core sentence with many
details added to that core sentence. Frequently, we add information to sentences by
attaching one or more words to the front or back of the core sentence. You dont
need to memorize seven or eight rules naming each of the different structures you
can add to your sentence. Instead, remember that when you add information to the
front or back of a sentence, you will want to alert your readers in order to help them
clearly understand your message. Here are four examples:
Certainly, Joan is a successful salesperson.
Although she flunked chemistry and barely passed math, Joan is a good student.
In order to help save the company from bankruptcy, we sold shares in the company at discount prices.
Joan is a good student, although she flunked chemistry and barely passed math.
If you examine the sentences above, you will see where the writer has attached words
to the front or back of each core sentence. Even when you add one word, such as
certainly in the first example, you want your reader to know where the real sentence
begins. This is why you place the comma there. If you read the sentences carefully,
youll also notice a natural pause where the comma is situated.
4. On Both Sides of a Nonessential Component
The three uses of the comma just discussed are quite easy. You should be able to tell
when those commas are needed or not. When you are proofreading your own prose,
it will be clear to you whether you have a list of items or not, whether youre attaching two sentences with a conjunction or not, and whether you are tacking words
onto the front or back of your sentence or not. The fourth use of the comma, however, is a little more complex because you must make a judgment call. Nevertheless,
even this fourth way to use a comma is relatively simple.
Often, you will insert a group of words into the middle of a sentence. Sometimes
this group of words will need to be set off by commas from the rest of the sentence,
and sometimes you will not need commas. In order to tell whether you need commas, you must make a judgment about whether the added words are essential to
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
the meaning of the sentence or whether they simply provide extra detail. Lets use
an analogy to illustrate this concept. The modern stereo system is what we call a
component system in that it is made up of many different components: an amplifier,
receiver, CD player, tape deck, and various speakers. With most stereo systems, you
have the option of removing certain components and adding new ones. For example,
you may decide to unplug your tape deck but retain the CD player. The various components are optional or nonessential to the system itself. Similarly, you often add or
delete components from your sentences. If a component (a group of words in this
case) is added to a sentence but does not affect the meaning of the sentence when it
is removed, then that component is not essential.
In order to tell a reader that a group of words is a nonessential component, you place
commas in front and in back of the group of words. However, if omitting the group
of words would drastically change the meaning of the sentence, then those words are
not a component; rather, they are essential to the meaning of the sentence. In that
case, you would not want to put commas on either side of the component so that
the reader knows that those words are absolutely important to the meaning of the
sentence. For example, look carefully at the following sentences:
Ms. Johnson, who is the company president, will present the award at our
annual dinner.
Banks which hold over a billion dollars in assets are rare.
In the first sentence, the information about Johnson being the company president
has no bearing on the main idea of the sentence: that she will present the awards at
the annual dinner. Since this information is added or extra, we let the reader know it
is an interchangeable component (like the stereos tape deck) by placing commas on
either side of it. In contrast, the second sentence contains information that is absolutely essential to the meaning of the sentence: which hold over a billion dollars in
assets. If you were to place commas around these words, you would be erroneously
telling the reader that the words constitute a nonessential component. For example,
look at this sentence:
Banks, which hold over a billion dollars in assets, are rare.
This sentence tells the reader that the main idea is that banks are rare. Certainly, banks are far from rare, but by enclosing the information in commas you
have said that they are.
246
Although weve spent some time discussing this use of the comma, it isnt very
difficult to master. Simply remember that when you are proofreading you should
check your sentences for essential and nonessential components.
The Dash
The dashoften typed as two hyphens side by side with no space between the dash
and the words on either side of itis used to connect groups of words to other
groups. Generally, the dash does this in two ways: it separates words in the middle
of a sentence from the rest of the sentence, or it leads to material at the end of a
sentence.
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
1. Separating Words in the Middle of the Sentence
As described in our section on commas, writers often place a component in a sentence and set the component off with commas. Sometimes, however, you might wish
to place special emphasis on the component, but commas are too weak to serve
this purpose. If this is the case, you may wish to use dashes for added emphasis. For
example, look at these two pairs of sentences:
Linda Simpson, the presidents most trusted economic advisor, will resign her
office during todays press conference.
Linda Simpsonthe presidents most trusted economic advisorwill resign her
office during todays press conference.
Simpsons prescription for the economy, lower interest rates, higher employment,
and less government spending, was rejected by the presidents administration.
Simpsons prescription for the economylower interest rates, higher employment,
and less government spendingwas rejected by the presidents administration.
All four examples are correct, but the second and fourth place more emphasis on the
component within them because of the dashes. Also, you have probably noticed that
the fourth is much clearer than the third because the dashes clearly mark where the
component begins and ends, whereas the reader might become confused by all the
commas in the third. In other words, you can use the dash to make sure your reader
clearly understands your point.
In addition, you have an added advantage when using dashes over commas: you can
use a full sentence as a component. For example, examine these sentences:
Linda Simpsonher enemies call her the author of our nations economic woes
has resigned her office with the present administration.
The present economic conditionLinda Simpson calls it an economic disaster
will require stringent fiscal measures before improving.
Notice how economical your sentence is when you can interject another entire sentence into the middle of it. Combining sentences in this way accentuates the relationship between the ideas and helps you draw attention to the component within
the dashes.
2. Adding Words to the End of a Sentence
You can also use a dash to attach material to the end of your sentence when there is a
clear break in the continuity of the sentence. Here are two examples:
The president will be unable to win enough votes for another term of office
unless, of course, he can reduce unemployment and the deficit simultaneously.
Generally, the presidents economic policies have proven ineffectivealthough,
its true that he has lowered inflation considerably.
These two samples show how you can attach added material to the end of your
sentence.
Use dashes sparinglyonly for those occasions when you wish to show special
emphasis. They can help you communicate effectively in certain situations, but you
dont want to clutter your prose with too many of them.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
The Apostrophe
An apostrophe is a signal telling the reader that a word is either a possessive or a
contraction.
1. To Form Contractions
As you know, a contraction is simply two words collapsed into one. You use contractions most often in informal or personal types of writing but usually not in more
formal types. When you speak, you use contractions every day. Here are some common contractions:
cannot
cant

will not
wont

do not
dont

we are
were

it is
its

you are
youre
The apostrophe in the contractions above tells the reader that you have omitted a
letter or two from the wordthe letter o in three of the cases above. Undoubtedly,
you have already mastered contractions, so we wont go into detail. However, we will
mention one common mistake. Remember that the apostrophe marks the missing
letter. Dont make the common mistake of placing the apostrophe between the two
words, such as in these cases: shouldnt, dont, etc.
2. To Form Possessives
The apostrophe is also used to mark the possessive. The possessive tells the reader
that someone or something owns or possesses the thing that comes after the possessive. Here are five examples:

248
Ronnis word processor

the bankers log book
the banks holdings
the nations GNP
the years end
The possessive noun in each of the examples above (Ronnis, bankers, banks, nations,
years) indicates to the reader that something is owned by something or someone
else. In most cases, to make the possessive you simply add an s to the end of the
noun. This is quite easy. The problem arises when a noun is both plural and possessive. Certainly, there can be more than one Ronni, and they both can own the word
processor. Or more than one banker can own the log book. In such cases, you simply
place the apostrophe after rather than before the s:

Ronnis
bankers
banks
nations
CHAPTER 8 Handbook
Some writers become confused when they must make a possessive of singular nouns
that already end in s. As usual, you make the possessive by adding s to the word;
however, some writers and editors argue that the two s are redundant and that
therefore you can eliminate the second s, ending up with the s. That is, they argue
that there is really no need to include an s after the apostrophe, since the apostrophe
already tells readers that the word is possessive. Others argue that you should drop
the final s only on words of several syllables but retain it on short words. Since there
is no agreement on this difficult problem, you must make your own choice. However,
regardless of which option you choose, do remember to be consistent. Here are two
nouns which already end in s and their corresponding possessive forms:
James
James Jamess

Jones Jones Joness
Finally, the apostrophe is used in one other way. Although the apostrophe is never
used to make a word plural, it is used to make letters and numerals plural:
Although I received Cs and Ds in many of my college classes, I always received
As in my business classes.
My sister received straight As throughout her college career.
My score sheet showed that I had six 5s and three 4s.
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CHAPTER 8 Handbook
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ENGLISH 100

Writing Communities and Identities

Kansas State University

Copyright 2012 by the Department of English, Kansas State University

Chapter One: Building a Writing Community

Letter to English 100 Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1

Writing and Revising Reflectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12

Actions Writers Engage in While Working on a Writing Project. . . . . . . . 16

Common Names for Stages of the Writing Process. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

Revision and Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20

Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers) About Revision. . . . . . . . . . . . 20

Guidelines for Successful Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 23

How to Get the Most out of Workshopping. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26

Writing a Revision Plan. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 27

Chapter Two: Introductory Assignments

An Introduction: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 29

Invention: Audience Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30

Professional E-mail: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

Reader-centered E-mail Etiquette . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32

Chapter Three: Gender Analysis

Selecting a Visual to Analyze. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43

Men Will Be Boys by Michael Kimmel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49

Whats Wrong with Cinderella? by Peggy Orenstein . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52

Incorporating Sources to Support Your Claims. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

Organizing Your Memo. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 62

Workshop Guide: Gender Analysis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

Invitational Writing: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 73

Activity: Word Choice. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76

Excerpts from Experiencing Racism by Richard Seltzer and

Nonlanguage Factors Affecting Undergraduates Judgments of

Whose Culture Is It, Anyway? by Elizabeth A. Reyes. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89

Racism 101: Race and the College Freshman by Alana Mohamed. . . . . . 92

Cyber Racism on College Campuses by Jessie Daniels. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93

Should We Study White People? by Laurie Essig. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 95

Introducing Says and Does Statements. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 97

What Comes Next After Says and Does?. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 98

Points and Particulars . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99

25-Word Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

General Guidelines for Writing a Summary . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100

Workshop Guide: Summary. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101

Invention Activities: With and Against the Grain. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102

Putting It All Together: Synthesis. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 105

Invitational Writing Sample: What Can We Expect Universities To Do?. . 105

Workshop Guide: Invitational Writing. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107

Informative Report: Assignment Guidelines. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111

Her College Experience Is Not His by Linda Sax. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114

Research Focus #2: Social Class and the University. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118

Statistics on Social Class in America . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 119

Questions about the Statistics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 122

First-Generation Students, Social Class, and Literacy

Comprehension Questions. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128

Research Strategies and Writing Strategies. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

Choosing a Topic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

Considering Your Audience . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130

Activity: Profile Your Target Audience. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131

Narrowing Your Topic. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132

Formulating a Research Question. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

Connecting Topics, Questions, and Audiences. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136

Finding and Evaluating Sources. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138

Learning the Big 5: Evaluating Web and Print Sources

Activity: Finding and Citing Journal and Periodical Sources. . . . . . . 140

Activity: Talk It Out. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144

Developing a Thesis . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144