Issue 14

Editor: Sara Hadfield

Editor-In-Chief: Elizabeth Simos
Produced in USSU,
University of Surrey,
Guildford
Est. 2008

FREE
Students Left Exposed As Government
Announces University Cutbacks
B
usiness Secretary Lord Mandel-
In this issue: son announced severe cutbacks
last month in funding for univer-
sities as the Government attempts to
Housing ‘rebalance’ higher education budgets.
Experts have criticised the reductions
Awareness by identifying the growing competition
Week! for places at already oversubscribed
universities. Public sector spending is
a critical topic running up to this sum-
Learn about mer’s general election, and Mandel-
RAG Week! son’s announcement, he explained, will
“spur to further diversifying funding of
British universities.”
WIN! Beach Lord Mandelson declared budgets would
Break Live be slashed by £135 million next year, on top of
£180 million savings over the next 18 months, and
tickets in the a further £600 million cuts to be made from 2012,
next edition! according to the Pre-Budget report. At a wider
glance, public funding cuts would total £950 mil-
lion between 2010 to 2013, ministers have said.
Surrey Sports The structure of British universities will fundamen-
tally change as a result of these cuts, with depart-
Park ments expected to close, degree courses scrapped
interview! and the inevitable increase in tuition fees after this
autumn’s student finance review. The Business
Secretary told peers tighter budgets would “focus
Check out The minds” on teaching and research quality. However,
Stag’s NEW will quality improve, or will future students have to
pay twice as much for tuition for the same stand-
website: ards in teaching?
thestagsurrey. “Lord Mandelson has to understand that you do not
co.uk just get more for less”, University and College Union
general secretary Sally Hunt said in a statement.
“Considering we already spend less that our com-
Your NEW petitor countries on higher education, few people
will agree that slashing funding is the way to ensure
Events Planner the UK can retain, let alone improve, its world-class
reputation.”
Universities will be forced to find other sources of
And much money. Unsurprisingly, Labour, as well as the Con-
more... servatives, are in support of the student finance
review, which will inevitably declare an increase in
tuition fees to somewhere between £5,000 and
£7,000. This comes as fantastic news for univer-
Recycle sities, the majority of which have pursued higher
tion for the universities and the Government. Future
students could be left exposed by the lack of guar-
antees to improve the quality in standards at British
universities.
Lord Mandelson said, “Universities are aware of the
Government’s requirement for this rebalancing and
for universities to grow their intake at a pace and
on scale for which resources exist to support and
we have always made that clear.” In an attempt
to resolve oversubscribed universities, Mandelson
explained universities would be fined for each stu-
dent they took on this year above their set limits.
Two-year “fast-track” degrees have been identified
as another solution to this problem.
However, critics are unconvinced that shorter cours-
es hold the key for cramped universities. Professor
Les Ebdon, vice-chancellor of Bedfordshire Univer-
sity, described fast-track degrees as “tinkering at
the edges” and Sally Hunt said Mandelson’s letter
was a “kick in the teeth” for staff and students.
Public sector cuts are inevitable following the Gov-
ernment’s mammoth expenditure during the reces-
sion. Savings will be made across the board, with
universities and higher education likely to be hit
hard. The question for students and professionals at
academic institutions is: what will be the effect on
quality of standards at universities? Higher tuition
fees are unavoidable, which is a solution for uni-
versity chiefs. By paying possibly more than double
for tuition fees, will students see a greater quality
of teaching and student support that justifies this
increase? Gordon Brown and David Cameron would

Your Stag! fees ever since public sector cuts were accepted
as an inevitable outcome for the next Government.
like to think so, while students and experts remain
unconvinced.
However, the increase in tuition fees is only a solu-
Issue 14 I 8th February 2010 I www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
 Editor’s Letter
Hi Everyone,

Happy New Year! Hope you had

a fantastic Christmas and New
Year! In this issue...
May I start by saying thank you
to all of you who have submitted
articles for this edition, as you
News Pages 3 - 7
can see, it’s another jam-packed
edition and we really appreciate
all the hard work that you put into Features Pages 8 - 23
your articles.
Fashion I Page 11
So what’s happening in this
issue? We understand that now Science I Pages 14 - 15
is the time that many of you are
searching for accommodation.
Health I Page 19
With this in mind, we’ve provided you with a handful of information to
ensure that this transition is as easy and safe for you as possible. Make
sure you check this out on pages 6 & 7. If you’re having any problems Societies Pages 24 - 31
regarding housing or would like to advertise for housemates, let us
know at ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk.

The Stag has a brand new website so make sure you check it out at Arts Pages 35 - 46
www.thestagsurrey.co.uk for all the latest news and features. Feel free
to discuss and leave comments on different articles – let us know what
Music I Pages 35 - 37
you like or don’t like! Dance & Theatre I Pages 38 - 40
We’ll also be at Re-Freshers’ Fayre! So if you’d like to get involved or Film I Pages 41 - 43
just fancy a chat come and visit us at Stall 16 on the dance floor!
Literature I Pages 44 - 46
Are you interested in designing? The Stag is looking for new designers
to help create the newspaper! If you’re interested get in touch at ussu.
thestag@surrey.ac.uk or come and visit us at Re-Freshers’ Fayre!
Sports Pages 48 - 55
That’s all from us this fortnight, but make sure you check back with us
in two weeks where you’ll have the chance to win Beach Break Live

Sara x
tickets!

Until then, have a great couple of weeks and we hope you enjoy the
issue!

Editor I Sara Hadfield : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk

Deputy Editor (Design) I Steff Lever : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk
Deputy Editor (Marketing) I Jack McWaters : ussu.thestag@surrey.ac.uk
News I Ben Pook : newsdeskstag@gmail.com
Features I Mariam Nasir : featuresdeskstag@gmail.com
Science I David Pugh : sciencedeskstag@gmail.com
Societies I Bakita Kasadha : societiesdeskstag@gmail.com
Music I Mark Allen : musicdeskstag@gmail.com
Dance & Theatre I Rachel Gildea : dancedeskstag@gmail.com
Literature I Eunice Njagi : literaturedeskstag@gmail.com
Film I Ollie Sim : filmdeskstag@gmail.com
Sports I David Holt : sportsdeskstag@gmail.com
Copy Editor I Ankur Banerjee
The Stag is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by
the University of Surrey Students’ Union.

The views expressed in the paper are those of individual authors and do not necessarily
represent the views of the editorial team, the Students’ Union or the University of Surrey.

Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited

Stoke Mill House, Woking Road, Guildford, Surrey GU1 1QA

The Stag reserves the right to edit submissions.

Please direct all enquiries to the relevant section editors.
3
NUS Warns Fees Review Hearing That Students Will
Not Pay More For Less
The National Union of Students (NUS) last week challenged universities to be price between universities risk
clear about where the massive investment they have enjoyed from students’ further limiting the choice hori-
pockets has gone as it gave evidence to the first public hearings of the inde- zon of non-traditional students
pendent review of student fees and higher education funding in Manchester. when they consider where to ap-
The session followed cross-examination of former Education Secretary Charles ply. Such fee differentials could
Clarke over the Government's top-up fees policy. see poorer students priced out of
more prestigious universities and
NUS argued that universities must account for where the almost three-fold therefore consigned to the bargain
increase in funding has gone, given that student satisfaction has increased basement”, said Wes Streeting.
only marginally. The union also warned that a market in fees could re-open a
two tier university system and, according to Government research, could limit "It is clear that earnings profiles for
access to non-traditional students. different subjects vary significantly,
but it is also clear that earnings
The president of the NUS Wes Streeting said, “Universities must be clear profiles vary significantly within
about where the massive investment they have enjoyed from students’ pock- certain subject areas. Any individ-
ets has gone. Whilst fees have nearly trebled, overall student satisfaction has ual financial contribution should
increased by just one per cent. Students cannot be expected to pay more for be based on genuine earnings af-
less.” ter graduation and not hypotheti-
cal course prices based on unre-
“We believe allowing different institutions to charge different fees risks provid- liable and misleading estimates
ing an elite system for the few who can afford it and a second-class experi- of earning power which amount
ence for the many who cannot." to guess work. NUS accepts that
any individual financial contribution to the costs of higher education should
A new report commissioned by the Department for Business, Innovation and be based on outcomes, but these should be genuine financial outcomes."
Skills (BIS), The Role of Finance in the Decision-making of Higher Educa-
tion Applicants and Students warns that a hike in fees and a market in fees "NUS has outlined proposals for a graduate tax system that would ensure that
between universities could risk further limiting the choice horizons of non- those who earn more after university would make a greater financial contribu-
traditional students when they consider where to apply. tion whilst also delivering additional income for the sector. Such a system is
both a fair and sustainable alternative for the future funding of higher educa-
"This Government report confirms that a hike in fees and real market in tion."

Surreybucks: University Response

Dear Editor, Ben also suggests that the success of these outlets should be “regu-
lated by the student community” and that the SU should be “partly
Ben Pook’s article in the last edition of The Stag (Issue 13) raises a responsible”. I agree that the Union should have a role to play, which
number of challenges about the University’s decision to open a new was why it was involved in the creation of a campus wide retail strat-
Starbucks outlet in the Guildford School of Acting Building. He claims egy that aims to increase choice of all retail and catering services on
the University has reduced the choice of coffee available to students campus. Additionally, the President of the Students’ Union sits on the
and although he acknowledges that Starbucks has been very popular University’s Commercial Affairs Committee to ensure that the student
and the only examples of customer feedback he is able to include are voice is heard when decisions are taken to introduce new outlets to
positive, he still manages to conclude that the University is guilty of a campus. I also believe that students have a key role in regulating the
“shocking misjudgement of student welfare”. success of the University’s trading outlets which are tested every time
they open; so far Starbucks seems to be passing that test.
As we have no record of his attempts to contact us, so the article does
not include any balancing input from the University, I want to take this I understand that on issues such as coffee brands, opinions will al-
opportunity to respond to the points he raises. ways vary. I fully respect Ben’s personal opinions about the taste of
Starbucks coffee and the University’s decision to open additional Star-
Before the University opened its first Starbucks outlet, there were two bucks units. However, I do believe that these opinions should not
providers of coffee on campus: the University itself and the Students’ be presented under the banner of “news”, especially in an article
Union. The introduction of Starbucks increased choice and has proved containing factual errors and that fails to include a response from the
enormously popular. We have further increased choice and competi- University.
tion by extending the range of coffee available in the recently refur-
bished Hillside Restaurant and by the introduction of the Amigo store For students who prefer not to drink Starbucks coffee I am happy to
which sells Costa Coffee. Ben’s argument that choice has been re- include a list of alternative providers on campus and hope they con-
duced since the introduction of Starbucks is simply wrong. tinue to enjoy the wide range of styles, flavours and prices available:
Sorrento, Roots, The Living Room, Hillside, Chancellors, Wates House,
Amigo, the library, the Varsity Centre and various vending machines.

Policies and Hypocrisies:
A Breakdown of Party Plans for Education
Ahead of the 2010 general election, News Editor
Ben Pook takes a look at each party’s policies on
higher education and explains what it could mean
for you.
The three main candidates don’t exactly paint a
pretty picture of this summer’s decisive general
election. Gordon Brown appears growingly
uncomfortable around anyone under the age
of 30, David Cameron insists in labelling the
country ‘broken Britain’ (despite crime rates
decreasing) and Nick Clegg continues to
agonisingly fight for party recognition in a two
horse race.
Public interest in politics has hit a depressing
low. A quarter of the population don’t like any
of the parties; according to a recent NatCan
survey only 56% of those surveyed said they
thought it was everyone’s duty to vote. These
shocking statistics represent a country tired
of scandals, like the MP expenses, and fed
up of the lack of substance in British politics.
The Obama and McCain campaign is the
most fascinating political debate I have ever
followed. And this occurred during a time of
economical unrest in the form of the worst global
recession most have ever witnessed. The parties
have no excuse for the lack of inspirational role
models in British politics.
Public disillusionment is the result of many
disappointing errors. Aside from inspiration, the
lack of knowledge is another barrier between
potential voters and a polling card. Hopefully this
brief rundown of party policies on higher education
will substitute for the discouraging signs from
Westminster.
Liberal Democrats
University for free: Liberal Democrats propose to
scrap tuition fees. Yes, that means all full and part-
time students taking their first degrees will not
have to pay for their studies. “Liberal Democrats
believe that a university education should be free
and everyone who has the ability should be able
to go to university and not be put off by the cost.”
according to their policy report.
Our verdict: Fantastic news for students, but
what does this mean for already oversubscribed
universities? Clegg has faced questioning about his
commitment to this policy after indicating it was
a matter of “when we can afford to scrap tuition
fees”, before later explaining in December 2009
that it will happen “over the course of the next six
years” – expect tax increases, either way.
Conservatives
Justifying the cost: Conservatives have pledged
to create 10,000 extra university places this
year in an effort to reduce the burden placed
on oversubscribed universities. Tories have also
announced support for the student finance review
4
this autumn, which will more than likely increase
tuition fees. Although Cameron will offer bonuses
for students who pay back their loan quickly, the
emphasis remains on justifying the cost of university
by improving quality.
Our verdict: Disappointing news for future students,
but is this a more realistic approach to managing
the increasing costs faced by universities?
Cameron also wants to improve the decisions
made by students. “We are working on a
website to provide people with much better
information about the true costs and benefits
of going to university”, says their policy
report.
Labour
A helping hand: Labour will guarantee the
minimum level of maintenance grant for
250,000 16-year-olds who choose to go into
higher education. However, Lord Mandelson
has recently announced severe cutbacks of
£135 million for British universities, on top
of the £180 million required savings over
the next 18 months. This weakens its policy
to “open or commit funding to 20 new university
campuses over the next 6 years” according to its
policy report. Labour will also support this autumn’s
student finance review and inevitably increase
tuition fees.
Our verdict: We’re encouraged by the pledged
support for families who can’t afford to pay the
entire tuition costs, but overall will families be
worse off due to the expected increase in fees? The
emphasis remains on a ‘fair chance for everyone’ –
will this be the end result considering the stern plan
to claw back millions?

Vacant Desks In Library Frustrate Students

Several students choosing to revise for exams or complete coursework in the library have voiced their concerns about the number of idle desks
and computers. Many students choose to occupy seating areas, including computer stations, only to neglect their desk for long periods of
time, sometimes several hours. This has left floors practically half occupied in one of the busiest times of the academic year, as many students
hunt endlessly for vacant desks.

Some students insist on leaving their belongings on a desk despite leaving the library for several hours. This has left many students jockeying
for positions on group desks and it’s only a mystery as to how violence or an exchange of words hasn’t broken out.

Final year Business Management student Eamonn Armstrong said, “I’ve often turned up to the library to prepare for really important exams,
only to find countless desks occupied by books, but with no presence of human life. Next time I’m going to leave one piece of paper and a
pen the night before, and turn up the next day in the afternoon. This problem is getting a little out of hand.”

This problem is very similar to the hotel sun bed saga, which plagues resorts across the globe. Some tourists deliberately wake up at
unthinkable hours in the morning to occupy the ‘best spots’ by the pool, only to return after lunch. Other rational holiday goers are left in the
shade among an outbreak of ‘empty’ sun beds.

If you’re planning on leaving the library for a considerable amount of time, it should occur to you that another student might need to occupy
your desk or computer. Please consider this before the library turns into a game of musical chairs.
5

Snow Grounds University To A Halt

Academic and work life at the University of Surrey was disrupted last month due to a substantial amount of snowfall on campus. Pavements and
pathways were impassable after heavy snow fell across Surrey and areas of the United Kingdom on Tuesday 5th January. Enter our It snow joking
matter photo contest and have your photograph shown in the next edition of The Stag. The best three photos will be shown with accreditation.
Details below.

The conditions had a severe effect on academic activities, which were cancelled or postponed to prevent students travelling on or around the
area. Most coursework deadlines were extended, as the email accounts of students were flooded with University announcements. Measures by
local councils to anticipate severe weather conditions and the general public’s reaction to the weather has been the topic of debate ever since
the first few hours of snowfall. Did local councils react fast enough and were there sufficient resources in place to manage the conditions? Also,
did the general public overreact to what is an unsurprising effect of winter weather?

In the days after the initial snowfall, the University Estates and Facilities Management began clearing snow from vital pathways and pavements
on campus to prevent the build up of ice. Furthermore, brave staff responsible for administration tasks and general management turned up to
work and kept the basic essential functions of the University running.

What did you think of the University’s reaction to the conditions? Also, take a look at photographs of
the snow on campus in the Society section of this newspaper.

To enter our It snow joking matter photograph contest, email newsdeskstag@googlemail.com.

Photographers of all shapes and sizes are welcome. The best three photographs by separate individuals
will be shown in the next edition of The Stag. Good luck!

Are YOU Protected?
Top Tips for
House-hunters
1. Are you protected? By law the landlord must by law
place your deposit in a protected scheme (see main article for
more information).
2. Do NOT give any money over till the contract has been
signed. No money should ever cross hands until a contract is
signed. If a landlord tried to get you to do this, run a mile.
3. Is there heating? It is not a legal requirement for hous-
ing to have central heating. Don’t get burned, make sure
central heating is available otherwise you’ll have a very cold
revision period in January.
4. Is the landlord on the accredited list? Guildford Bor-
ough Council last year passed a motion proposed by the Lib-
eral Democrat group to introduce an accredited list of student
landlords. Although the list is in its infancy, asking landlords
whether they are on it gives it publicity and allows the good
landlords to seek more information about how to get on it.
5. Is the landlord blacklisted by the university? There are
some landlords who have caused difficulty for student tenants.
The university will not allow such landlords to advertise through
the accommodation office. There is no harm in speaking to
the accommodation office to make sure the landlords you are
speaking to are not on that blacklist.
6. View the property. A picture speaks a thousand words,
whereas seeing the property will let you see first-hand if there
are any problems or issues to look out for. Often the landlords
will leave it to the current student tenants to conduct the view-
ing – ask them if they experienced any problems during the
year.
7. Shop around and be patient! Don’t panic. The wrong
decision will leave you stuck in substandard accommodation
for a whole year. Make sure you are absolutely happy with the
property before you sign on the dotted line.
“In Guildford, residents expect students to care for their
community, so it is only right that in return their commu-
nity cares for them.”
6
Students need to be made more aware of their rights when it comes
to dealing with unscrupulous negligent landlords, argues local coun-
cillor Chris Ward as Guildford Liberal Democrats launch their student
housing campaign: ARE YOU PROTECTED?.
Since I introduced a motion to Guildford Borough Council to create
an accredited landlord list, many students and worried parents have
got in touch with me revealing how endemic dereliction and negli-
gence towards student properties has become. My intention with
this campaign is to promote the landlords that look after students
and drive out those that don’t. This will form a key tenet of the Lib
Dem general election campaign, because we know how important
the quality of student housing is both to residents and to students.
In Guildford, residents expect students to care for their community,
so it is only right that in return their community cares for them.
When signing a contract for a house, in most cases the landlord
will request that you put down a deposit (usually the equivalent of
one-and-a-half months rent). This would be held by the landlord till
the end of the year and any damage occurred to the property or its
contents laid out in the inventory (e.g. furniture, kitchen utensils,
etc), the landlord would take out the relevant amount of money from
the deposit and you would get the remainder back. Whilst I believe
that most landlords are honourable and have only deducted from
deposits where there was genuine reason to do so, a substantial
number did not. The issue is that students who had been wronged
by these landlords didn’t have the money or resources to challenge
it legally, so the landlord always won.
This changed recently when a new law came in insisting that land-
lords place tenancy deposits in a protected scheme. What this meant
was that at the end of the year, if the landlord wants to take any
money out of your deposit, they must write to the scheme explaining
what he/she wishes to take out and why. The scheme will then seek
your agreement to the deductions. Where a dispute arises, the rest
of the deposit is released to you and the disputed amount retained
by the scheme (and not the landlord) until a decision is made on
the dispute. Essentially, this law has given some power back to the
students and has made it near impossible for bad landlords to cut
chunks out of your deposit for little or no reason.
ARE YOU PROTECTED? is not just a campaign title, it is a question
that should be at the back of your mind whether you’re signing a ten-
ancy or are already in one. The landlord must protect your deposit
by law. If you’re already living in rented accommodation and the
landlord has failed to protect your deposit, you are eligible to three-
times the value of your deposit in compensation from the landlord.
I am willing to bet that the landlords who fail to protect your depos-
its are likely to be the ones ignoring their other legal obligations to
students as well, so by asking this question you are helping us drive
out the landlords in Guildford who find it profitable to be negligent
to students.
Once this law was introduced, some landlords stopped taking
deposits and instead started charging a £150 “administratration/in-
ventory fee”. In my opinion, these landlords are likely the ones who
always saw tenancy deposits from students as a means of paying for
Christmas. I suggest avoiding them. At least with a deposit you can
be sure that if you leave the house in the same condition as it was at
the beginning of the tenancy, you will get your money back.
7
7
Searching for a house “If you’re already living in rented accommoda-
tion and the landlord has failed to protect your
For many of you, this will be the first time you have gone searching for a deposit, you are eligible to three-times the
rented property and it is a very daunting experience. Landlords may make out value of your deposit in compensation from
to you that you need to sign a tenancy agreement immediately otherwise you the landlord.”
may not find a place at all. Of course, it is in their interest to secure tenants
as soon as they can. Whilst there is an element of truth in the idea that the Moving in
demand for houses close to the university is high, many of these houses have
been left in an awful state, deteriorating over time. The location may be great Once a tenancy is signed, the landlord has a legal obliga-
but it’s not so worth it if the property is cold, damp and mouldy with parts of tion to provide you with the keys to the property and for the
the wall and ceiling falling to bits. Don’t let your desperation to find and secure property to be in an acceptable condition from the date the
a house blind you to problems you will be stuck with for an entire year. tenancy begins. If the house is not ready, the landlord is
breaking the contract and you should seek advice.
The most important thing to do is to view the property and ask the right
questions. When it comes to student tenancies, the landlord will often leave Once you have the keys and the tenancy has begun, you
it to the current student tenants to conduct the viewing. Ask them about any need to make sure the house is in the condition you would
problems they have had over the year – you’ll be surprised at how honest they expect to find it. If you find any part of the rooms unclean or
will be. If you are currently living off-campus in rented accommodation and in a state of disrepair, take photos and send them immedi-
find yourself conducting one of these viewings, have no qualms about being ately to the landlord (this means that you will have made the
honest. It is neither your legal obligation or responsibility to sell the house on landlord aware of the problem and you will also have pictorial
behalf of the landlord. evidence should the finger be pointed at you at the end of
the tenancy). You will typically be given an inventory, which is
At this point you’ll be interested in how much the rent and deposit are, along a list of contents in the house provided by the landlord. You
with any other costs the landlord might want to attach. Get this in writing from should go through the inventory and check nothing is missing
the landlord or agency. I have known students that have been stung by land- or damaged. If it is, report it to the landlord and request that
lords who have told them verbally that the rent is a lot cheaper than it ended either the items be replaced or the inventory amended. If
up being on paper. In fact, if you can, get as much of your correspondence you don’t do this, the landlord may be able to accuse you at
from the landlord on writing as possible – it means contradictions can be dealt the end of the tenancy for the loss or damage. Only sign the
with using hard evidence. If in doubt, ask people like myself or the accom- inventory once you are happy that it is an accurate reflection
modation office whether costings are legitimate or required. of the contents within the property.

The final point is signing the contract. Don’t forget to read the whole thing, Don’t forget to take down the meter readings, preferably
no matter how long or boring it may seem – the devil is in the detail and you taking a photograph to be sure.
need to make sure you are signing up to a fair and legitimate tenancy. Once
again, there are people around to give you advice if you need it. “It is against the law for a landlord to enter
your property without giving you 24 hours writ-
Extent of negligence towards ten notice, except in an absolute emergency”
student properties uncovered
Since I proposed my motion to Guildford Borough Council
Living in the property
a while back, the amount of casework I have received as
For the entirety of the year the house may be owned by the
your local councillor both from students and worried par-
ents has shown to me how bad the problem is. I knew
landlord, but it is your home and there are various rights giv-
there were issues, but I never expected to be told about en to you as tenants. One common complaint is that some
dead rats inside walls and baths held together by duct landlords turn up and demand entry (or even let themselves
tape. If you have any problems whilst renting in the private in) without notice. Regardless of the contract, it is against
sector, please do not suffer in silence. It’s my job and the the law for a landlord to enter your property without giving you
responsibility of my colleagues to ensure you are represented in the town. If 24 hours written notice, except in an absolute emergency.
you feel your house is uninhabitable then let me know and I will do everything I
can to help. Report all problems to the landlord as soon as you find
them, as this will ensure you get the fastest response in re-
Any approach you make to myself regarding problems with housing is kept en- solving them. It is their legal responsibility to fix problems
tirely confidential and I will try to advise. If you require specialist advice, I will try with the property and you should seek advice either from the
and point you in the right direction as to where to find it. Also, always remember university or the housing department at Guildford Borough
that as students you have a Union that looks after your welfare and your rights. Council if you experience any continuous problems with this.
I talk regularly with the sabbaticals at USSU, and they will be more than happy
to listen to what you have to say and point you in the right direction. “This will form a key tenet of the Lib Dem gen-
eral election campaign, because we know how
My contact details are on the Guildford Borough Council website, but I can be
contacted via email at chris.ward@guildford.gov.uk and on Facebook at www. important the quality of student housing is
facebook.com/christopher.j.ward. both to residents and to students.”
 8
The Importance of Procrastination
by Stephanie Davies

We’ve all been there: the deadline for the essay is fast approaching, and our
word count is lower than the predicted sales of Jedward’s first single. Instead
of buckling down and finishing what needs to be done, we suddenly realise
that our rooms are in desperate need of a tidy, or that we have neglected
Facebook for four minutes too long.
Alas, procrastination is a universal human student condition. But I’m here to
say that that’s not necessarily a bad thing.
It’s rational for us to avoid tasks that make us uncomfortable and favour
those that offer instant gratification. Admittedly, procrastination seems a little
counterintuitive – the very definition of the word means that we’re not doing
what we “should” be doing – but strictly speaking, it’s impossible to avoid
procrastination, as there are always a million other things that you could be
working on at any time. The trick is to choose one type of procrastination
above another.

Procrastination can be split into three types, depending on what is being

worked on instead of a particular task. The individual could work on: (a)
nothing, (b) something less important, or (c) something more important. Good
procrastination would mean avoiding pointless errands to do real work. But
real procrastination is so much more fun.
As a general rule, human beings find it difficult to work on a particular problem
when they don’t enjoy it. This is why procrastination can seem so appealing.
As an example, at the time I began writing this article, I was procrastinating
in a typical type-(b) scenario. I could have been studying for my exam (c:
something more important, which is less enjoyable) or taking a nap (a: nothing,
which is more enjoyable). It’s interesting that I started this article in an effort
to ease my study woes, and then found that it in itself had become a task
worthy of evading. Now that I’m approaching a 2500 word essay on Chekhov,
I find that, curiously, my priority returns here.
My thoughts turn to Hamlet. He was a terrible procrastinator, and yet he
remains one of literature’s most quoted and revered protagonists! So the
question again remains, to (b) or not to (b)?
Wow, that was bad. Sorry.
Some tasks go away if you ignore them thoroughly enough. If you leave your
dishes in the sink, eventually someone else will do them. But procrastination
should never be confused with denial. If you leave off paying your rent, the
situation is not likely to improve.
Occasionally you may be faced with the sensation that others are working
much harder and more productively than yourself. They aren’t. All over the
globe, people are putting the kettle on, or updating Twitter, or watching endless
repeats of Spongebob Squarepants – anything to avoid the task at hand. We
need the worthless things as much as we need the worthwhile. Most of all,
what we need is a ready-made excuse for a poor mark, as we eventually face
the consequences of our inactions. “I didn’t finish it until the last minute!”

Check out The Stag’s

new website!
www.thestagsurrey.co.uk
OR
follow us on Twitter
@thestagnews
and voice your opinions!
 9
“Penny for your thoughts, but
a dollar for your insides”
Happy New Year student body! This is your not currently caped crusader welcoming
you back to campus. Well when I say welcoming you back to campus what I mean
is I hope you are begrudgingly back in Guildford and that I’m welcoming you ‘in
spirit’. As for me, currently I’m wishing you a happy new year from my hometown
where I’ve spent the last three days waiting for the snow to melt. The snow and
ice which has unfortunately succeeded in freezing my driveway, turning the simple
task of going out to see friends into a near death-defying stunt. My solution is
simple: sit inside wrapped in blankets and let everyone else worry about travel
arrangements. I don’t remember exactly who I quote a comedian who once said
“You know you have truly reached adulthood after a blizzard. And in the morning
when you look out of your window the first thoughts that come into your head are
no longer a combination of ‘sledging’, ‘snowmen’, ‘igloos’ and ‘snowball fights’.
But instead those thoughts have been replaced by ‘Hmm, this is going to cause
me severe travelling difficulties’.”
I do find, however that when snow falls we find ourselves presented with an
unprecedented opportunity to show off our Good Samaritan side. For instance a
friend of mine was telling me about how on what he called ‘Blizzard Tuesday’, his
younger brother was caught while leaving the cinema in town. Rather than wait for
the snow to stop or for a bus (unknowing they had all been cancelled) he decided
to walk the eight and a half miles home. Now apparently (without trying to make
this sound like an old wives tale) on the country road home he came across three
cars stuck in snow drifts. After helping each of the owners free their snow-banked
vehicles he ended up with twenty quid, a walking stick, a free hot chocolate and
a free pint at the local pub. Now being 15 the free pint wasn’t of much use to
Cameron but you get my point. If you happen to see anyone trip over on the ice,
after taking a few moments to stop laughing make sure they haven’t knocked
themselves out. I doubt you’ll get twenty quid out of them, unless you’ve seen the
Dean of the university fall over, but you might get a thanks. Or if fairy tales actually
come true you’ll help up the future love of your life and live happily ever after!
Now on a slightly less serious note I need to talk to you all about the upcoming
zombie apocalypse. Whilst on one of my very few journeys out of the house the
past week I accompanied my father to the local supermarket to do the weekly shop
(yes I was that bored) and found the entire place at a standstill. Irate customers
lined the aisles, the only people able to move at more than a shuffle were the
small screaming children that were running amok everywhere. Not to mention the
majority of staff looked as if they had lost the will to live long ago. It was halfway
through this trip that my father remarked “Sh*t it’s like Night of the Living Dead
in here!”
This of course tripped another of my daydreams, leading away from exactly which
type of bread I was supposed to be getting and put me another train of thought.
What exactly would happen if the supermarket inhabitants were the freshly undead
straight out of a Romero movie? I couldn’t help but picture the scene, shrieking
customers being hunted through the car park by the bloody trolley boy. Survival
of the fittest in the middle of fresh foods. Never had a steeper price been paid
for short-changing a customer than having a full grown man rip the arm of a
cashier off and feast on it. No longer were the old ladies fighting over the last tins
of whatever peas pudding is, but were hauling themselves after the unfortunate
teenagers hanging around outside. Those few remaining souls with the sense to
have watched Resident Evil flooding to the gardenware aisle to arm themselves
with the various garden forks, shovels – and in the luckier situations – the hedge
trimmer. Surely everyone has their own contingency plan of ‘What are we going to
do when zombies overrun the country?’ I mean apart from laughing like a maniac
and grabbing the nearest golf club. If not I suggest you run to the bookshop and
pick up a copy of The Zombie Survival Guide!
Okay, so it is possible I have played the ‘Nazi zombie level’ on Call of Duty One too
many times, but my point stands. Thankfully word has reached my ears of a new
society that has just received its ratification. The aptly named University of Surrey
Zombie Society will serve as our first line of defence in World War Z. Criticise if you
will but when the day comes that the dead do rise from the grave, chances are
you’ll be begging them to save you. Or maybe you’ll be fortunate enough to die
quickly – I don’t know. The moral of the story, children, is that you shouldn’t forget
these smaller societies. Chances are if there’s a big enough Facebook group to
support the cause there has definitely been consideration for it. Even if it is simply
to meet like minded people, no matter how abstract the premise of the society.
How else will we ever decide if ninjas are better than pirates? Personally, I can’t
wait for the Gil Grissom Appreciation Society. Anyone? Just another thought from
me then.
Until next time,
Campus Boy

What The Funk Is Twitter?

WARNING*- If you are one of those people who easily
gets offended and emotional and suffers from high
blood pressure, depression and has suicidal thoughts
often, this is for you.
Twitter began with a simple premise (as most genius
ideas do). A fellow named Jack Dorsey simply wanted
to know what his friends were doing. Since then, it’s
exploded into much more than a series of status up-
dates. It’s now a forum for micro-blogging. Twitter’s
usage has grown to around 75 million users, boosting
it into second place amongst social networking sites,
lagging only behind Facebook. For me, two aspects
of Twitter set it apart from others: simplicity and au-
thenticity.
A post on Twitter is known as a 'tweet' (cute, I know)
and tweets are limited to 140 characters (not unlike
your 160 character text messages). They can accept
hyperlinks and they can be tagged with the @ symbol
to direct them to a specific Twitter user ('tweep'?) or
with the # symbol to make them easily searchable.
That’s it.
What’s all the talk about then? Okay, so there is still
a slight hype as to what Twitter is. Most people have
left the Stone Age and caught up with the rest of us.
However the majority are still stuck in the frenzy of ‘I
don’t know how it works’, get in the programme. Well I
think it is safe for me to say we were all born learners.
I should think at least over 85% (made-up statistic) of
university students as well as staff have a Facebook
account. I have been on Facebook at least for four
years now, and have seen it evolve into something I
never saw it to become. I am probably ranting at the
recent changes in privacy settings Mark Zuckerburg
decided to alter. Yes if you did not know it by now,
everyone can now see what your posts onto someone
else’s wall unless you set it to 'private'.
So I was on the trail of saying we were all born learn-
ers and no one was a master of Facebook. Twitter is
not paying me to say this but it is the fastest news
source in the world and provides great networking.
Most news channels use Twitter to report all of their
big stories. So if no one has told you about the joys of
Twitter I will. The best one is that all your A-list celebs
are on it. Just search for their Twitter page and follow
them. Now by saying follow them you are probably
confused and you probably think ‘stalker’. So I will
explain what that is later on.
For most fans or admirers of certain celebrities the
closest you will even get to them is probably Twitter.
At the moment the only ‘big star’ following me is T-
pain but I have other friends like Che’nelle and Alison
Hinds. I recall getting a tweet from Flo-Rida and The
Game who asked me who the girl in my profile picture
was. (For the record I replied telling him she was not
ready to be a video girl – he never got back.)
Do you ever get those people in your Facebook up-
dates that are always updating their statuses like every
5-10 minutes (slight exaggeration)? Tell them to join
Twitter because of what it can do for them. So how it
works is that it allows you to relate to others – simple.
You follow others whose feed updates (tweets) you’d
like to see. If others want to see your Tweets, they’ll
follow you. I often hear the tweeting erroneously dis-
missed as little more than a glorified status update.
Rather than post droll details about mundane daily
tasks, Twitter users tend to share interesting links,
innovative thoughts, carry on authentic discussions,
and live-blog events.
So at this stage you might be still confused or in-
spired to join Twitter. Maybe you might be thinking it
is ultimate vanity that someone would actually care
what you were doing at the moment, as though you
were important enough to make people stop what
they were doing to grab on to your latest train of dis-
organised thought. You would be surprised. It is just
another social networking site. On March 28th 2010
I celebrate my one year anniversary on Twitter.
Follow me at twitter.com/decap88 and let me know
if you read this and joined it. I will tweet back. Happy
Tweeting.
by Don Decaprivano
 10
Nibbles & Networking
Come along to SCEPTrE’s networking event for the chance to talk to a range of local businesses over coffee and cake… Have you ever
thought about the benefits that networking could bring to you? Networking is an invaluable skill for anyone and an opportunity to practice
these skills is not one to be missed! Whether you are looking to make some business contacts for your future career or simply to get some
practice, this event is for YOU!

HOW IT WORKS

We are aiming for 1:1 ratio of students to employers, ensuring that each of you
will be able to get some great networking practice in. The evening will begin
with two short talks on communicating via social media and marketing through
web technologies. In order to get the conversation flowing between you and the
employers, we are setting up the remainder of the evening in an open exhibition
format, with students giving presentations on the latest web 2.0 technologies.
This informal and relaxed environment, complimented by the list of networking
tips that we will provide you with, will guarantee that you are perfectly equipped
to begin your networking, and really show your stuff!...and yes, the all important
nibbles will be provided!

WHEN & WHERE

• Lecture Theatre Concourse

• Thursday 25th February

• 6-8pm

HOW

Tickets are available to all students, and cost

£2, which will be refunded to you at the
event. Please purchase your tickets from the
SCEPTrE office (05 AC 01).

FOR MORE INFO GO TO WWW.CO-LAB.EU

Tell us your story – SPLASH Digital Storytelling project 2010

 Would you like to develop valuable digital media skills AND be Some ideas / examples of possible topics for your stories:
paid for your time and effort?
• Settling in to university life / the life changing experience of
 Would you like to learn how to create your own digital story? coming to university

 Do you have an interesting story to share about your time
at university or about a specific event from which you have
learned something?
• A moment when the penny dropped – it all came together!
• A particular aspect of your studies or an event that you feel
would be of specific interest and / or relevance to other
students, such as a work placement

SPLASH is putting together some resources that will be made • See www.storyshare.net (created by SCEPTRE) for examples
available online to new students, and your story could be part of this. from Surrey

We would like to receive your expressions of interest in the form Stories can be generally university related or specific to your course
of a summary of your story idea in no more than 150 words to be BUT they must all demonstrate learning in one sense or another.
submitted to: splash@surrey.ac.uk by Friday 12th February
The SPLASH team

featuresdeskstag@gmail.com
11
Hi my darling! How you’ve been? In the first place I hope you had the best
holidays ever and at the same time I would love to wish you a fantastic New
Year!

Christmas and New Year’s Eve were both amazingly fun! We’ve all enjoyed our
time and because we love partying now it’s time to celebrate love.

To my mind, it doesn’t really matter if you’ve found or not your soul mate.
You can always be in love with your life, isn’t it? And even though I don’t
know how much do you agree with me I still believe you should enjoy
Valentine’s Day.

Whether you’re going out with your boyfriend/girlfriend you have to look
magnifique !

6
(was £12.00)

1.
Twist
&
Lock
Clutch,
New
Look,
£6
(was
£12.00)
1.
Twist
&
Lock
Clutch,
New
Look,


2.
Cade
Platform
Ankle
Boot,
Missguided,
£31.99


3.
Red
Bold
Shoulder
Cap
Dress,
Desire
Clothing,
£14


4.
Bead
Hoop
Earrings,
New
Look,
£2.50
(was
£5)


5.
Gold
Freshwater
Pearl
and
Cubic
Zirconia
Stud

Earrings,
H
Samuel,
£19.99


6.
Juliana
Jersey
Dress
with
Chain
Detail
Shoulders
in

Red,
Missguided,
£22.99


7.
Secret
Platform
Shoes,
Topshop,
£65





















(£58.5
with
Student
Discount)


8.
Lipsy
Zip
Eyelet
Bag,
Oli.co.uk,
£25


9.
Appache
Applique
Flat
Clutch

Bag,
French

Connection,
£50
(£45
with
Student
Discount)


10.
Savannah
Plain
Court
Shoes,
Topshop,
£60
(£54

with
Student
Discount)


11.
Red
Gathered
V
Front
Boobtube
Dress,
Desire

Clothing,
£25


12.
Pewter
Leather
Jewel
Statement
Earrings,


Talullah
Tu,
£18

13
Fire up the trumpets and give the drummer a
nudge. After more than four years of scouring
the UK coastline in search of the perfect home,
the mammoth hunt is over and the UK’s biggest
student festival Beach Break Live is proud to
present Pembrey Country Park, Carmarthenshire,
South Wales as their brand spanking new home!
After triumphing against all odds in 2009 after
losing the license for their sellout festival site in
Cornwall with just 6 days to go, BBL refused to
be defeated and moved the entire festival to
Kent. The BBL family has now moored on Welsh
sands, unpacked their bags and are here to stay.
Nestled behind the silky dunes of the award
winning Cefn Sidan Sands beach, and flanked
by 2,000 acres of stunning forestry, the breath
taking new site has it all. The beach is recognized
to be one of Europe’s most beautiful and boasts
8 glorious miles of pristine white sand set against
the backdrop of the Gower Penisnsula. The search
has finally ended and the BBL team has uncovered
the most spectacular festival location on planet
earth!
“We’ve been able to scour the UK’s coast line to find
the perfect permanent home for the event,” says
Ian Forshew, the event organiser. “Students asked
for an event ‘As close to a beach as possible’, with
‘beautiful surroundings’, ‘hidden areas’, ‘stages
on the sand’ and ‘good sound levels’. At Pembrey
Country Park we can give them all that.”
Growing from just 1000 students in its first year to
5000 in its second and 10000 in its third, 2010
will see a whopping 17,500 UK students flock to
the Welsh coast in their masses for three days of
sun, sea, sand, surf and music. With its dazzling
new site, a huge line up soon to be announced
(past years have seen the likes of Dizzee Rascal,
The Wombats, Friendly Fires, The Zutons, Mystery
Jets, The Enemy) and a scramble for early bird
tickets so furious it ground the ticketing system
WIN!
Tickets to Beach Break Live...
Only in the next editon of The Stag out on the 22nd February!
to a complete halt, the festival which grew from
BEACH
humble roots to being voted Best Small Festival
and Best Promoter at the 2010 Virtual Festival
Awards has now found the perfect home.
Just a hop skip and a jump over sand dunes
there will be all manner of aquatic and sand
BREAK LIVE
related tomfoolery from lying prostrate and doing
absolutely nothing to kite boarding, land sailing ANNOUNCES
BRAND NEW
and windsurfing. Think Thai style beach parties,
sand castle building, BBQ’s, tentative toe paddling,
Cafe Del Mar chill out action, cocktail supping and
FESTIVAL HOME
of course the obligatory British human lobster
impression making!
And as if that wasn’t exciting enough, Beach
Break Live is proud to announce a whole load of
hair- raising extras. On top of the 8 miles of white
beach, and acres of forest the new site also boasts
14th-18th JUNE
a 130m floodlit dry ski slope offering Snowboard
or ski lessons and student friendly ‘cheap as chips’
2010
board and boot hire, one of the biggest toboggan
runs in Europe, the ‘Go Ape’ in the trees woodland
adventure playground extravaganza, horse riding,
surfing, wind sports, Sphere Mania, coasteering
and even more soon to be announced! Watch this
space! PEMBREY
COUNTRY PARK,
Other handsome extras include some of 2009’s
favourite venues, including the mighty Main Stage,
the infamous party palace that is the Residential
Dance Home, the Bass Busting Dance Tent, the
Ridiculously Hot Tubs, the Camped Up Camp Fire
and Chai Wallah’s to name a few. Of course we
SOUTH WALES
LINE UP TO BE
couldn’t forget the infamous Moustache Bar -
where facial hair is not only recommended but
essential!
The Beach Break ethos is a fair approach to the
local community and ticket holders. Whether it’s
ANNOUNCED
SOON
running buses from universities to reduce carbon
emissions, or working with the local community,
suppliers, businesses and charities, BBL works
www.
to contribute to the local surroundings and the
people they share it with!
beachbreaklive.
Early bird tickets sold out in record time but full
price tickets are now available forthe student
com
friendly price of £89 per person with affordable
boutique camping options available to those who
fancy ‘splashing out.’ See you on the sand and in
the sun!
Visit www.beachbreaklive.com for more info.
 14
David Pugh, your friendly neighbourhood Science Editor, is currently in training to run six miles (approximately
10km). Further than he has ever run in his whole life put together! He is braving the cold, moist, dark, horrible
conditions of the Guildford roads every morning to train and raise money for Sport Relief, helping some of the
most needy people in the UK and Africa. He will be running on March 21st, from Surrey Sports Park, please
sponsor him and brighten up his day at mysportrelief.com/davidpugh your donation will give a dangerously
unfit individual a bit more motivation in his daily battle with the carbs! Thank you!
A Scientist’s Guide To Relationships
by Sophie Bryant vent interbreeding (as similar scents would suggest similar genetics), of
which these days the odds are pretty low.
Here comes February, and with it a flood of flowers, cards, chocolates
and tiny teddy bears clutching hearts into every shop in town. Valentine's PHYSICISTS SAY:
Day always produces mixed responses, from the die-hard romantics to Try to apply the laws
the resolute cynics, so this seems like an appropriate time to consider of thermodynamics;
our romantic quests from an objective, scientific point of view. they’ve served us pretty
well in everything else,
CHEMISTS SAY: It’s all about hormones, chemicals our bodies secrete why not in love?
in order to regulate a huge variety of processes in the body. The first law: “The
Testosterone is the main male sex hormone, but it is also secreted in change in a system's
women. Its structure is classed as a steroid – a group of drugs which internal energy is equal
promote protein synthesis. Men who have quite high levels of testoster- to the difference be-
one have been found to be more attracted to feminine faces. Women tween heat added to
with higher testosterone levels are, conversely, more attracted to very the system from its sur-
masculine looking men. roundings and work done
Oestrogen is the female equivalent, causing thickening of the womb by the system on its surroundings.”
lining and increased vaginal secretions. It is also present in men, where Meaning that any changes in the energy of your relationship are due to
it contributes to sperm production – without it they are infertile. The fe- a change in heat or work.
male contraceptive pill is a mix of hormones, including oestrogen, which The second law: “It is impossible for a process to have as its sole result
together prevent the release of an egg, thus preventing pregnancy. the transfer of heat from a cooler body to a hotter one.”
Particularly in females, hormones naturally cycle, and this affects the Meaning that when you’re cuddling, it’s not just to keep warm, there’s
type of mate you are attracted to. Close to ovulation, women are more got to be something else to it.
attracted to masculine men, who have stronger genes. In non-fertile The third law: “As a system approaches absolute zero, all processes
parts of the cycle they prefer softer, more feminine features, as these cease and the entropy of the system approaches a minimum value.”
men are perceived to be better at helping to raise children. Meaning that your relationship will be most orderly whilst you are in
cooler climates.
BIOLOGISTS SAY: Do it to propagate your genes! Just find somebody
biologically suited to you. MATHEMATICIANS SAY: You can calculate it all, and then present it in
Since the main function of relationships is to procreate, our bodies simple statistics!
have inbuilt strategies to ensure we find a mate who will give healthy, According to a 2008 poll in the UK:
strong offspring, and hopefully even stick around to care for them. 92% consider themselves heterosexual, 4% homosexual, 2% bisexual,
Women are the pickier ones since their opportunities to reproduce 2% don’t know.
are more limited (they release around 400 eggs in their entire repro- The average age at which people lost their virginity was 16.5 years.
ductive lifetime, compared to men’s 300 million sperm released in just The average number of sexual partners in a lifetime is 8.8
one ejaculation). However men are also influenced by the desire not to The average number of times people have sex in a month is 6.7
have too many children to help care for, and so would rather ‘invest’ in The average length of a relationship in London and the south east is
fewer, better mates. Women are attracted to wealth (or those who they 11.5 years, compared to the national average of 14.6
perceive to “have the ability to acquire wealth”), while men favour a low People in the 65+ age group are more satisfied with their sex life than
waist-to-hips ratio, and both sexes value intelligence. those in the 16-24 group.
One of the biological factors affecting mate selection is scent, as this If you would like to calculate the answer to relationship questions like
is said to give an indication of the immune system of your prospective “Should we get married?” and “Will it last?”, look up geeklogik.blogs-
partner. Studies have found that while ordinarily women are attracted pot.com for easy to use formulae on the subject.
to men whose immune system is different to theirs (in order to give the
best combination of immunities to their offspring), when they are on And so our journey through the scientific analysis of relationships is
the pill, they will choose those with similar immune systems. However, done, but I’m not too sure how much of this can be practically applied.
this shouldn’t worry those of you taking the pill – scent based partner Perhaps the scientists don’t quite have it all worked out on this front…
choice evolved long ago, when the circle of potential mates you met Have a happy Valentine's Day anyway, and be sure use the day as an
would have been much smaller. The role of this was probably to pre- opportunity to hug your favourite scientist!

sciencedeskstag@gmail.com
 15
Jim Al-Khalili Under The Spotlight
by Chris Poll
I recently met with television star and University of
Surrey lecturer Professor Jim Al-Khalili to discuss his
experiences in working with science in the media,
his upcoming television programmes and his desire
to play for Leeds United Football Club.
A lot of people know you for your work with
science in the media as well as your work in
physics, how did you first get into science
communication from research?
It started slowly; I started giving talks to local schools
when I was a young researcher, before I became
a lecturer. I was already at Surrey University but I
started giving popular science talks to schools in
the Guildford area and I’d write the odd article for
magazines.
Could you give any advice to the readers on how
to get into science communication?
Well, the first thing to say is that I believe science
communication is vitally important. Not everyone
should do it, not everyone can do it, but I think far
more scientists and engineers should talk about their
work than do now because we have an obligation
to tell the public what we do and how their money
is being spent. My advice to people is start slowly,
don’t jump straight in and neglect other aspects of
what you’re doing; if you’re a student still studying
or a postgraduate doing research for your PhD still
focus on that. Try and dabble in it slowly, try and
maintain a balance.
Do you find your get recognised more outside of
your immediate scientific community following
your appearances on television?
Yes, but not to any sort of unmanageable proportion. I
will get stopped in the street or on a train maybe once
a week, or once a fortnight. It’s not that wherever I
go people are staring at me, it’s BBC4 most of my
documentaries go on, so it’s not mainstream and
it’s nice to be like that. I was walking though Euston
Station last week and I heard someone say “Look,
it’s that science dude off the telly” and, you know,
I assume they are talking about me, but it doesn’t
happen that often. I don’t get crowds, it’s not like I’m
some celebrity in Heat magazine that gets stopped,
so it’s nice to keep it every now and again.
Between Science and Islam and Atom, which
was your favourite to make?
Atom I think I preferred because it is essentially
explaining what I do, that’s my bread and butter
work as a physicist and I never thought I’d get the
chance to explain quantum mechanics on television.
To be given the opportunity to explain something as
difficult as that, which I find fascinating, was very,
very rewarding. Science and Islam was great for
the locations I went to and the travelling that I did,
ultimately that was an adventure but it wasn’t as
satisfying at the end as Atom.
What would you say is the best part of making
a TV program?
Bacon sarnies first thing in the morning, being able
to go to airports and say “We’re BBC” and they just
take you through to business class. The novelty wore
off a bit but it is very different to university life so I
find it a complete contrast. I love performing, I love
standing in front of the camera and waving my arms
about and talking about stuff.
You’re making a new TV programme Elements
a history of chemistry. Can you tell us a little
about that?
Yes, it’s due to come out some time next spring
hopefully. Again, it’s a three part series. It’s
essentially the sequel to my Atom series. In Atom
I talk about the building blocks of everything and
what they look like inside. In Elements I talk about
how all the atoms fit together. Everyone asks me
“You’re a physicist, why are you doing a series about
chemistry?” Well, it’s all science, chemistry hasn’t
been told before and actually there are some very
fascinating stories there.
You also have another upcoming program
‘Genius of Britain’ with David Attenborough,
Richard Dawkins and Stephen Hawking. Have
you met them yet and if so, what are the like
out of the media spotlight?
The only one of them I know well is Richard Dawkins;
I’ve met him on several occasions. He is not like his
public persona; people think of him as being this
hard-line atheist, really not getting on with people.
In real life he’s nothing like that, he’s a real sweetie.
David Attenborough and Stephen Hawking I’ve met
once or twice. David Attenborough, I remember, was
sitting in the audience of a lecture I gave a couple
of years ago, that was quite scary, seeing David
Attenborough in the audience and thinking “Oh
crikey!” But, for this series the different presenters
have been tending not to be filming on the same
day, we’re shooting our bits separately so we haven’t
really overlapped.
Can you give us any more information on this
programme? When can we expect to see it on
television?
It’s due to be completed sometime in the spring,
so I imagine [it will be on TV in] the summer or
maybe the second half of next year. It’s for Channel
4. It’s had various production delays, for instance
Stephen Hawking, who is narrating it, was unwell a
few months ago and that delayed the process. It’s
meant to be about the history of British science.
Do you still manage to find time to keep up
with doing research with these television
commitments, or has it taken a backseat?
Inevitably yes. If I compare myself to some of my
colleagues here at the university who don’t have the
different strands to their jobs that I do, they can
spend more time doing research. My work comes in
fits and starts so throughout the last 12 months I’ve
been writing a book, I’ve done 3 television series, a
radio series for BBC World Service, and so I’ve very
little time to do anything else. But now I’m back at
the university, I’m teaching again and I’ve got more
time to do research. It comes and goes; there are
periods where I am away filming a lot and there are
periods that are quieter where I can get back into
my research and get stuck into publishing some
papers.
So, would you say you prefer carrying out your
research or doing your media work?
That’s a difficult question, the honest answer is that
I love both; I wouldn’t want either one to sacrifice
the other. I couldn’t see myself just doing research
and not telling the world about it, that would just
bore me to tears, but on the other hand I could
not stand just moving more into television and only
being a presenter. Heaven forbid I might turn into
Richard Hammond or something like that! I don’t
want to just talk about the science other people are
doing, there is a sort of credibility issue, I want to
show that I am still doing that science. So, I like
dong both and I like swapping between the two, it’s
the finding the balance which is the difficult thing.
If you hadn’t gone into a career in science,
what other kinds of career could you have seen
yourself taking?
Given that I decided I wanted to pursue science from
my early to mid teens, from the age of fourteen, I’d
have to go back and say from before I focussed on
science I would have played for Leeds United FC, I
would have been lead guitarist for a famous rock
group [Jim laughs], what else do fourteen-year-old
boys want to do? The other disciplines I love are
archaeology; I love marine biology, these sort of
exotic things. Again, they are very much linked with
science. I cannot imagine myself doing something
that does not involve learning stuff, finding out
about stuff, solving mysteries, cracking puzzles, that
sort of thing. If it wasn’t physics I suspect it would
be another area of science.
To finish the interview, I have a couple of fun
questions for you. Firstly, If you could work
with any scientist, past or present, who would
it be?
I would like to work with one of the great pioneers
of quantum mechanics. Some of them are well
known, some of them aren’t. People like Niels Bohr,
Heisenberg, or Paul Dirac. These were geniuses at
the beginning of the 20th century and I reckon if I
was around then, mixing it with these guys, I think
life would have been very exciting, in the science
world.
Finally, which is your favourite particle and
why?
My favourite particle, with a little bit of thought, would
probably be the neutrino. There are so many of them
around and yet they are so hard to catch, people
can’t really study them very easily because it’s very
hard to get hold of them in a detector. Neutrinos
are vital, they don’t do that much, there’s a lot of
them around and they seem like fun particles. All
the other particles are very serious and have very
serious jobs to do but neutrinos don’t seem to give
a shit, they come and go as they please. It would be
great, I think, to be a neutrino.
Jim’s latest series ‘Chemistry: A Volatile History’ can
be seen on BBC Four, Thursdays at 21:00 or on the
BBC iPlayer.
 16

RAG WEEK APPROACHES

RAG In A Nutshell.....
A warm hello from everyone at Surrey Mega Raid on 23rd October. The Mega Raid On Friday we are hosting a Beer and Cider
University’s RAG society! RAG is a non-profit included several other RAG societies belonging festival in Rubix, this time with more Perry! Need
organisation which aspires to raise as much to universities across England, who all pitched in we say more? Open for most of the day, get
money as possible to those less fortunate to raise shed loads of cash. Our RAG members your Jailbreak weekend started with a cheeky
around the world. RAG is an easy way for managed to collect over £1700 as well as pint or two, just remember to drink responsibly!
students to get involved with charity work, and an award for the ‘Highest Amount Raised per
have a great time in the process! Thanks to you Collector’! Every penny raised went towards Up for an adventure? Then Jailbreak is the
guys we have held numerous successful events the Breast Cancer Campaign, all as a result event for you! The aim is for you and your team
and activities and wish to continue the trend. of the kind donations made by the general mates to get as far away from the university
public, and bucketfuls of fundraising spirit! as humanly possible with no money, inside
With our busiest week on the calendar the time limit of 36 hours. Last year previous
approaching fast, we would like to update Recently a RAG raid took place closer to expeditions managed to reach Gran Canaria
you on the latest RAGalicious news and home in an attempt to raise money for the – can you top this feat? Register now for
events which are happening right on your Haiti appeal. A number of RAG Members your free information pack, t-shirt included!
scoured Guildford town centre, buckets
in hand, and managed to raise £800!

RAG week commences on Monday 15th

February and runs until Sunday the 22nd! We’ll
be releasing RAG bands closer to the date,
granting buyers easy access to some of the
events and offering special deals during the
week, saving you money! Ticket sales from the
Book Shop are to be announced, so watch
this space. This years events will include: A
themed ‘Ring of RAG’ pub crawl, ‘Channies
Challenge’ with a RAG twist, Headphone Disco
RAG style, Pyjama Movie Night, Beer and
Cider Festival (Back due to popular demand!),
and not forgetting ‘Jailbreak’. The perfect
combination for you to run yourself ragged.
The ‘Ring of RAG’ pub crawl includes a t-shirt with
exclusive offers only to RAG! The crawl begins in
doorstep! First however, we want to give Chancellors at 7pm and ends in Dusk. There will
special mention to some previous events we be tasks associated with ‘Ring of Fire’ to heat up
have held over the last couple of months. the night, are you ready to set your week alight? Look out for the RAG mag which will be full
of useful information to get you enthusiastic
Fancy a RAG? To break in the freshers we hosted ‘Channies Challenge’ has teamed up with about ‘Raising and Giving’, and by all means
our first event of the year which only consisted RAG to present you with an awesome visit out stall at ‘Refreshers Fayre’ where our
of three primary colours! Traffic Light Disco night of quizmania, not even the brain of friendly committee members will be happy
proved to be a huge success, encouraging people Britain could answer these questions! If you to answer any enquiries that you may have.
to dress according to their relationship status; think you are up for the challenge come
never has hooking up been so straightforward on down with some friends, we dare you! If you would like to get involved with any
and charitable at the same time! We managed fundraising activities such as RAG Raids or
to raise around £4000 towards charities such The ‘Headphone Disco’ offers an interesting events, do not hesitate to get in contact with
as Barnados and World Vision, amongst others. twist on your standard Rubix night, as us! More information can be found on our
you get to choose the tunes! Don’t like Facebook group under ‘University of Surrey
RAGs to Riches gave people a chance to the DJ? Change the channel! One not to RAG (Raising and Giving) 2009/10’, or drop
express their inner tramp, or posh totty. Whether miss! Disclaimer: RAG is not to be held us an email at USSU.RAG@Surrey.ac.uk.
you wore your most aristocratic, smartest, responsible for incredibly dodgy dancing.
blingest threads or your dirtiest, roughed up, RAG is always looking for new recruits:
out of fashion rags, a good time was had by Fancy a chill out session in your favourite whether as a RAG rep, standard member,
all! We managed to raise £500 for Action Aid, bed-wear? Come along to the ‘Pyjama offering full-time or part-time commitments;
an organisation that is dedicated to helping Movie Night’ on Thursday where you everyone counts. It’s a great way to meet
the most poverty stricken areas of the world. can relax with a delicious ‘Krispy Kreme’ new people and have fun whilst, at the
during a showing of ‘The Hangover’ – Very same time, changing lives around the globe.
Our most successful charity raid to date took appropriate following a heavy night we think!
place when RAG participated in the London

So when were
you last ill and
what was it
like?
If you’re
anything like me
it was probably
pretty horrific.
You looked like death, moping around coughing
and spluttering and feeling like you’d just gone ten
rounds with Mike Tyson.
All in all, being ill is RUBBISH.
So what if, at the pinnacle of your suffering, a nice
member of staff politely informed you that you’d
be charged a further £20 for the privilege of feeling
like the U-bend at a cheap Indian restaurant?
It’d probably feel like popping down to the local
shop for a pint of milk, realising they’d totally sold
out, turning to leave disappointed and then being
kicked in the groin by a large angry ginger Scottish
man.
So why then does the new look NHS Guildowns
Health centre insist on charging you this
astronomical fee simply to sign a note to prove you
really were as bed bound as you say you were?
A Day in the Life of...George Edwards
by Mariam Nasir
There is a reason I am writing this article. Go along
with me and I will walk you through my thought
process and eventually you will know the reason for
this article. Alright, the exam period has hit us all
hard and in this period there has been an excess
consumption of coffee and red bull. Along with this
incessant amount of drinking we have all been to
one place – the Library. Now, I understand that
once in this building, we all meet many friends,
acquaintances and people-who-we-don’t-want-to-
see but we deal with trying to limit conversation
and quickly make our way to the “silent study”.
This illusion that once we are in the “silent study”
we will do what we are supposed to be doing –
studying silently. However, this is the big twist in the
story – da-da-daaam, we cannot study silently.
This is a phenomenon which many students suffer
from and I for one am tired of forcing myself into
the silent study and not being able to study silently.
There is always a distraction and hence I come to
one of my reasons for this article – silent study
observations and techniques. Well, this may look
like an easy task but silent study is always full.
People enter the area, quickly mark their territory
and sit there studying for hours. In my time in the
silent study, it came to my attention that people take
marking their territory very seriously. First they scan
the area and as soon as an empty booth appears
they lunge for it. After this is the frantic “marking”
which is done by placing books, putting their jacket
on the chair and often, believe it or not, taking off
This Week in Welfare...
Well in the ‘outside world’ most businesses allow
employees to self certify themselves as ill for
periods of less than a week. This means in most
cases a doctor’s note isn’t required and patients
are charged the £20 admin fee for a service above
and beyond what is required.
Of course students are a bit different. It doesn’t
matter whether you’re ill for more or less than
a week if you’re a student. All that matters is
whether you’re ill when your exam is. It’s not much
good getting fobbed off because you were only on
deaths door for two days if those two days were
worth half of your semester!
But thankfully all hope in not lost! The good
people in care services (think healthcare, advice,
wellbeing people) in consultation with myself and
others have now decided to subsidise sick notes!
So next time you’re ill it’ll still cost you, but now
only half the amount. Still not perfect, but that’s
an extra £10 you’ll have in your wallet.
And what can you spend it on? Well, maybe
housing deposit?
Yes, it’s that time of the year again when the snowy
climes of 09-10 give way to vivid images of what
it’d be like next year if you didn’t sort yourself out
somewhere to live. A potentially daunting thought
their shoes. This system has a name (coined by
myself) – The SLM (Scan, Lunge, Mark).
After making these shrewd observations, I realised
that some people spend the entire day in the library,
coffee after coffee, and then my idea hit me – One
Day in the Library. Now, I understand it is not one of
the most interesting concepts ever but if you read
one, I have tips for boredom busters and things to
do while you are on your “study break”. First, I went
to the library really early, into the silent study and
did The SLM. It may come as a surprise but some
people just come to the library to hang out. It is The
place to be. These people steer away from silent
study since that is off limits for loud conversation,
although it does not stop others.
Next I had to make friends with people around
me, get to know my neighbours who had arrived
so early to get a booth. Hard workers all of them.
After some whispered chit chat, everyone returns
to silently studying and my mission remains to find
interesting things. After much disappointment, I
finally find gold. People having loud conversation in
the silent study and it is not a conversation I would
be particularly proud of. It included the words “we
are much smarter since we study in the library”
and “Is gold an element?” followed by the answer
“obviously not, its jewellery”. For those who are
lost, gold is an element. After laughing loudly at
this, I had to duck and pretend to study (silently).
Life in the silent study can be hard, for example,
if you sneeze everyone looks at you like you are a
18
to say the least.
But once again the Students’ Union and the
University have come together to find a solution
to your potential woes. This time it comes in the
form of housing awareness week – dishing out
wholesome chunks of housing knowledge for
everyone to enjoy. Rumour has it there may even
be freebies...
So if you’re in your first year or going straight into
your final year it time to start getting together with
your bestest chums in groups of 4/5 and preparing
to house hunt! Housing awareness week will tell
you the rest! Hurrah!
Good luck with exams everyone!
Until next week...
Malcolm Hunt
Vice President Welfare
Tip of the week: Single? Stuck for a Valentines
weekend Sunday night activity? Try Sunday night
Salsa in Chancellors! Open for all levels from the
most basic beginner upwards!
leper. It’s only sneezing. Another thing, sometimes
people arrive in the library and they have not had
anything to eat. This leads to the random belly-
rumbling sounds you hear in the silent study. It is
hardest for people who want to go eat, if you leave
your desk your booth might be gone by the time
you come back. It is a whole issue whether you
should eat or not and hence the many rumblings
heard on the 5th floor.
Another observation I made was the ringtones.
This was the aspect which entertained me the
most during my day in the library. Imagine this,
all silent (except for some rumblings) and then
Britney loudly exclaims “If you seek Amy”. Some of
these ringtones are cheesy which are immediately
silenced after one line but others are purposely left
longer so that people notice that you are cool.
Among these cool, smart people I found this other
group which I classified as the “intimidators”.
These were those people who came to the library,
got way too many books in their booth and then
look up every time someone passes them to show
that they are there for the “real” studying.
With these observations, I left the library a happier
person knowing that Britney is not only my ringtone
but is shared by others. I forgot to write the boredom
busters and things to do in your “study break” but
I am sure, after reading this you will have some
idea into how to use your time and essentially
understand why I came to write this article.
 19
19
Try this
vegetable soup,
bursting with
goodness!
Ingredients:
1 teaspoon olive oil
3 sliced courgettes
3 sliced carrots
If someone is feeling distressed and experiencing suicidal thoughts it is important that they talk to someone
else about how they are feeling whether this is a family member or trusted friend. Sometimes people feel 1 cup of frozen peas
unable to talk to friends or family, perhaps because they don’t want to be a burden or they feel they have no
one they can trust, it is here that Samaritans can help. 2 sliced leeks
Our trained volunteers are available 24 hours a day and can give you the time and space to explore your feelings (any other veg you want)
in confidence and work out the way forward. Samaritans believes that talking openly about overwhelming
feelings, without being judged, can be a huge relief and is often the first step in finding a way to cope. 900 ml (1.5 pints) vegetable stock
Pinch of salt and pepper
It is important to recognise that If you suspect someone you know is depressed or suicidal, or
everyone expresses their emotions in they tell you how they feel, take it seriously. It is a myth that
different ways, but some behaviour talking about suicide is attention seeking. Letting someone know

can indicate that someone might be
feeling depressed and experiencing
suicidal feelings.
·
·
Being withdrawn or unsociable
Being low-spirited or depressed
· Finding it difficult to relate to
others
· Taking less care of oneself
· Acting completely out of character,
for example unusually cheerful
· Being tearful or fighting back the
tears all the time
· Being excessively irritable
· Finding it hard to concentrate
Method:
that you are there whenever they want to talk is the first step
in offering them help. It is vital not to pressurise the person
into talking if they don’t want to, but giving them the time and
space to talk openly without interrupting, offering solutions or Fry the courgettes, leeks and carrots for 5 min-
judging them can provide the first step in helping them cope. If
you feel able to, offer support and encourage them to talk about utes, stirring frequently, add the stock and sea-
how they’re feeling. Ask direct questions and don’t be afraid of
frank discussions – to find out more, see a page called ‘Difficult soning, simmer for 20 minutes or until carrots are
conversations’ on our website www.samaritans.org.
soft, add peas at the end and cook for 3 more
Samaritans believes talking about feelings can make all the
difference between choosing to live or die. Supporting someone minutes. Blend if desired or eat as a chunky soup!
in distress can be very difficult for you too. If you’re helping
someone who feels suicidal please take care of yourself as well.
Ask the person how they are feeling and listen to the answer. Bananas – They contain tryptotophan which

EAT TO
Remember that it is difficult to support someone who is depressed
· Less energetic or particularly
tired or suicidal on your own and people want to talk to someone helps to makes serotonin, the feel good hor-
· Eating much less or much more
than usual
outside their situation and suggesting they talk to Samaritans
or visit their GP can help them widen their options. Or you can mone.
· Putting oneself down (self- contact Samaritans yourself. We may be able to contact the
mockingly as well as seriously), person you are worried about.
e.g. “Nobody loves me” or “I’m a
waste of space.”
Leafy green vegetables – Kale and spinach

BEAT
are full of folic acid and B vitamins, again
needed to make serotonin-deficiency can
If you are in emotional distress or worried about someone you know you can contact Samaritans for confidential,
non-judgemental support 24/7 by Telephone on the National helpline number 08457 90 90 90 or Email at
make you feel grumpy!!!
jo@samaritans.org or face-to-face visit www.samaritans.org to find your local branch

Salmon – Oily fish like salmon and mackerel

THOSE
theVINE June 2009 15
A student Samaritans’ caller said: “When I was 16, I started to experience a phase of depression are full of omega 3 fats known to be great
that lasted for a number of months. It was when a relationship ended that I started to feel very for your heart and your mood
down. During this time, my negative thoughts and feelings became overwhelming and affected me
badly – enjoyment, passion and happiness seemed to just vanish out of my life. It was then that
I called on Samaritans for help. I chose to contact Samaritans’ by email, as I wasn’t sure that I Wholemeal Pasta – Pasta aids the absorp-

BLUES......
was ready to talk on the telephone. I was able to explain my situation and how I was feeling in my tion of tryptophan, therefore boosting seroton-
own time. I only contacted Samaritans for a short while, but in that time, the replies that I received in, it also makes you feel fuller for longer!
from them were very helpful and allowed me to consider what my options were, and to process my
feelings. I used a combination of Samaritans, friends and family as sources of support, to help me
through my dark times. During months that I was suffering with depression, it really did feel like I
Porridge oats and bran flakes – High fibre ce-
was mentally falling apart, then slowly, ever so slowly, that feeling ebbed away and I began to feel reals rich in complex carbohydrates stabilise
like my old self – confident and content.” mood by releasing energy slowly.

Chat Health!
Trouble sleeping? Anxious about exams? Worried about STIs? Want to know how alcohol can be affecting
your mood? Want to know more about Cannabis? Want to lose weight? Need nutrition information? Then
mail in your questions all in confidence to studenthealthcare@surrey.ac.uk to CHAT HEALTH for your reply
in each edition of The Stag.
 Available
Available ONLY at the
ONLY
Union Shop & Bookshop
at the Bookshop
until the 12th of February
and
2010The Union
or until Shop
stocks last

New offers every

month. Make sure
you pop in.

The biggest brands.

The widest choice.
The cheapest prices.
 21
Ask Angelique Anything..... Get it off your chest

She’s crossing a line, what can I do?

I don’t want to be Hi Angelique, Hey Troubled,
here anymore... I have to say my friend got a bit Thanks for the message. I have to agree with you
excited during the first semester on this one – your description made me lol but this
Hey Angelique, in terms of getting with guys but isn’t a laughing matter. Your friend needs to follow a
personally I think she needs to few steps that I’ve told quite a few promiscuous girls
I’m gonna get straight to the point. take a step back and check her lately. 1. Go to the clinic and get your self checked
I don’t want to be here anymore. I self. I love her to bits but I think out, it’s only down the road so don’t be lazy cause it
don’t want to disappoint my parents she needs to hear someone sounds like you need a check up quick time. 2. CALM
– they’re African – I don’t know if that else tell her what she’s doing is DOWN! What is the need to be going through...every
means anything to you but for me and wrong. Your probably wondering guy you meet cant you just relax. I’m sensing some
many others in this uni it means drop- what kind of things she’s done, I déjà vu from the last article I wrote but you need to
ping out is simply not an option, not don’t really want to bait her up to take a breath. Learn how to enjoy life in a different
the rest of the university but lets way; I’m not saying stop completely cause it sounds
even a thought. So what do I do?
say its along the lines of picking like that would be like taking nicotine from a smoker
up a new guy every night. Hav- and cutting them off completely – for you anyway. 3.
Mr T ing sex without protection and… Get some help, maybe you should talk to your friends
just doing duttyness. I really care about your addiction – and it is an addiction – or go
Hey Mr T, for her but there’s a line and she to a group therapy. Believe it or not there’s people out
crossed it weeks ago. Please tell there just like you so there’s no need to be embar-
her! rassed about going. Anyways I hope this helps.
Ok you don’t want to be here, there
are loads of other options you don’t Troubled x
Angelique x
have to stay here. Now when it comes
to your parents, yes I do understand,
believe me! LOL but sometimes you
When will he notice me?
have to do what you want, and I know Hey Angelique,
you’re probably thinking but “No that’s
I’ve got more of a question than a problem. There’s this guy I like called G and I think he’s
just not an option” but it is. Just de- absolutely amazing. He’s in my psychology class and everyone knows who he is but our
pends on what you want to do. On the class is so big that he would never notice me. Should I introduce myself or should I just
one hand having a degree is a great leave it and get on with...learning?
thing to obtain but on the other it’s
not impossible to survive without one. Thanks, S.
If you truly feel that you don’t want to Hey S,
be here, then follow what your heart
and your mind is telling you to do. I think the answer to that question is pretty obvious – talk to him, introduce yourself.
Your first instincts are usually the right You never know you might hit it off but how would you know if you don’t try. Of course
one. Good luck Mr T. You’re going to I’m not telling you to ignore your degree but your social life is just as important if you
need it. want to stay sane. Good Luck and let me know how it goes.

Angelique x Angelique x
Useful Websites:
Need someone to talk to? Get it off your chest

Ask Angelique Anything.....

www.connexions-direct.com
General advice
www.talktofrank.com
Drug advice
www.childline.org.uk
Self harm and Abuse advice
Email: askangeliqueanything@gmail.com www.sextalk.org
Sexual health advice
 22
2009 to 2010 Resolutions, Resolutions & More Resolutions!
by Don Decaprivano Patrick Swayze another Hollywood star lost his battle with pancreatic
cancer. Named the sexiest man alive in 1991 in the People magazine.
New Year, new beginning, new faces, new friends, in other words, out He was best known for his roles in Ghost and Dirty Dancing. So in a
with the old in with the new. So the first issue of the New Year was de- nutshell, 2009 was a such a bad year.
layed, but it would not still put me off getting this article done. So it’s a So what are your resolutions? Have you given up already? Stop drinking
new year and 2009 saw us have a very bad year, not only for Hollywood until your birthday? Stop smoking? Sound familiar? Each year I try to
but so many crazy things went down. Wendy Richard, former EastEnd- set a goal I hope to achieve. This year I did not really give myself any
ers actress had been suffering from cancer and died at the age of 65 targets or goal, I think I dealt with everything in 2009.
in February of last year. Richard also starred in sitcoms Dad's Army, Are
You Being Served?, Grace & Favour. This is something I thought about during the Christmas holidays and I
decided to write it just so I always remember it (since I don't have a di-
We also lost Jade Goody at the young age of 27, who came to life in ary anymore). Anyway, one day I was walking upstairs to my room and
2002 on the TV reality show Big Brother. Many fans, in thousands at- I realised my laces were undone, I knew I can get pretty clumsy so I
tended her funeral in Essex. She died from cervical cancer; only find- thought it was best to tie my laces before I carried on walking. Now, I
ing out about her illness during an appearance of Indian version of could've put my foot 2-3 steps higher so I didn't have to bend that much
Big Brother. More women started having cervical screenings as more or I could have just bent down on the step I was on and tie my laces
awareness was raised. Please get checked. It is better to know when it there. Putting my foot higher was more ''convenient'' because then af-
is in its early stages. terwards I could just bring my other foot up and I was closer to the end
of the stairway. But, there was also the risk of me falling back if I lost
We sadly and unexpectedly lost the King of Pop. The world came to a balance. Then I realised, life can be the same, we all have a goal, well,
standstill following the sad news about Michael Jackson. At age 50, we all should have a goal to reach and we think ''the faster, the bet-
Michael had achieved greatly as a musician and also opened the flood- ter'' which isn't necessarily true. If on our way to reaching our goals we
gates for many musicians and was an idol and inspiration to many. encounter a problem, STOP AND FIT IT. Don’t think you can fix it and
Michael Jackson famously also known for his moonwalk had unique move on at the same time, we’re only human, because if you do, you’ll
blend of different genres of music including rock, soul and funk. He was only end up further back than you already were. Success, or whatever
best known for many hits including, Thriller, Beat it, Man In The Mirror it is you are aiming for, takes time, so don't rush into things, rather take
and Bad. Michael Jackson catered to all generations young and old your time; it will all be worth it in the end. So my advice to you is keep
and his music was timeless. Rest in peace Michael. On the same day at it and impossible is nothing. Always aim for something, because if
that Michael Jackson died, 1970’s Charlie’s Angels star Farrah Fawcett you aim for nothing be rest assured you will hit it.
passed away. Her death was overshadowed by the death of MJ. She
died from anal cancer and lived from 1947-2009. PS: I bent down and tied my lace on the same step I was on ;-)

Dear
Dear Diary,

Sometimes I lay back in this bed and I wonder.

Sunday Salsa
Come and get salsafied
I wonder how long it will be before, the hype, excitement, and self deceit fades
away and I choose to accept that my stay on this earth is soon passing away.
I wonder how long it will be before I realise, or choose to accept that I’m not Sunday
satisfied with simply existing, claiming to be “living the life” and avoiding at all cost
the question of life after death. I know this degree will be beneficial to me when I 14th February 2010

Diary
leave university, but I wonder how it will help me beyond my profession. I wonder (Valentine’s Day)
when I’ll stop leaving Rubix, discontent” seeking collective entertainment, or in
fact something I’m not even sure I can describe… I wonder when I’ll stop sharing 6pm - 10pm
the dying pieces of my heart, and my bed with ever deceiving “I love you”s
Can you already salsa? Do you want
I wonder if there’s a God who see’s the good I do. I wonder if he really cares, and
if his arms will be open wide to receive me when I finally leave this place. to learn how to salsa? Having a bor-
ing Sunday night? Pop along to Chan-
I wonder… cellors and have a go! You can learn

......
some moves between 6pm and 8pm
and then there will be time for
The Diary’s response: some social dancing!
Contact me on: diaries-repsonse@hotmail.co.uk Don’t forget it’s Valentine’s day!
:- ) I don’t bite, no really I don’t bite holllaaaaaaa!! lol. Bring a date and enjoy our special
meal offer too!
 23
If, like me, you were one of the lucky few who
The Freewire Farce
managed to snag a room on campus this year you
may have developed a certain swagger. Perhaps
even an annoyingly self-assured tone when
answering the question ‘So where are you living
this year?’- ‘Actually I managed to get a room on
campus, I’m so lucky because I can get up just
5 minutes before my lecture and still make it!!’.
Gratuitous smile aside, campus living can be great.
Yes you can wake up later and still make that class
(accompanied with some lethal morning breadth),
you have the library at your disposal and there
is something to be said for drunkenly stumbling
back to your room after a night out at the Union.
However there are certain things about on campus
accommodation that really gets on my nerves.
Currently it is the ridiculous situation you face when
having problems with your room phone.
After what I can only imagine was an intense bidding
process, in 2007 Freewire managed to wangle
their way into Surrey University. All accommodation
landlines were replaced with this new ultra-
modern, ultra-hip way of staying in touch. We were
all assured that it would be much easier to make
calls and more importantly much cheaper. The idea
behind it was that you can call all other Freewire
lines for free, including numbers on campus and at
a reduced rate you could call all other numbers...
well after topping up your ‘easy to maintain’ online
account. In theory its straight forward and any idiot
could do it, in practice it’s a completely different
story. For starters, how many people besides your
two or three friends on campus have Freewire
Execution: A Humane Sentence?
“His eyes saw the yellow gravel and the grey walls,
and his brain still remembered, foresaw, reasoned
– reasoned even about puddles. He and we were
a party of men walking together, seeing, hearing,
feeling, understanding the same world; and in two
minutes, with a sudden snap, one of us would be
gone – one mind less, one world less.”
In George Orwell’s 1931 essay A Hanging, the
gravity of capital punishment and the consequences
of taking a human life are portrayed with disturbing
clarity. Whilst the world has come a long way in
the past eighty years, some countries still choose
to maintain this harsh penalty as a just sentence;
demonstrated in the Chinese authorities’ decision
to execute Akmal Shaikh on December 29th 2009,
the first EU national to face the death sentence in
China for fifty years.
China has been no stranger to international
criticism concerning the death sentence: 1,718
executions were officially confirmed throughout the
country in 2008, almost three times that of other
countries which choose to instigate the penalty put
together. What makes Shaikh’s case all the more
controversial however, is the refusal to implement a
mental illness assessment, a check that was ignored
before condemning the accused. The 53-year-old
Briton was arrested for smuggling 4,030g of heroin
into China during September 2007, a conviction
access? One? None? Secondly the reduced rate
is surprisingly hard to find on your easy to manage
online account page, and you find yourself having
to top up a little more frequently than you do your
mobile phone.
But that’s not the worst of it. The most annoying
side effect of carrying a Freewire line is the fact
that they simply refuse to connect you to an
international calling card. Now I know that this isn’t
a problem for half the population on campus, but
for those who have friends or family internationally
and wish to stay in contact you usually buy an
international calling card. The card provides you
with a low rate for international calls through free
phone access and you know exactly how much you
have spent at all times. Very straightforward right?
Wrong. Freewire have decided that in order to get
more people to top up their Freewire accounts they
will make this very simple process as difficult as
possible, including a charming 0.9/min charge on
using this ‘free’phone number.
Ok, you are probably realising by now that I have
been going through my own personal hell with
Freewire which by the way started in November
when I moved in. So two months later I am still
struggling with both the Freewire providers and the
accommodation office to get the issue resolved.
The problems- Freewire cannot connect my
international calling card as well as the fact that
my phone works on a ‘please’ basis. As in please,
please, please work today. The situation- after
having called Freewire about twenty times, going
his family have insisted was unjust due to his
“unstable condition”. Despite the tragic likelihood
that Shaikh was exploited as a drugs mule, the
increase in substance abuse across China has led
to a mandatory death sentence being imposed on
anyone found guilty of trafficking narcotics.
Since the execution, the Chinese government has
“shrugged off” outrage that British leaders, Shaikh’s
immediate family and Amnesty International have
shown with regard to the case, calling it “hypocritical”
and disrespectful of their judicial sovereignty. In
some ways they have a point – drug trafficking is a
serious offence that has the potential to prove fatal
to the user, tear families apart and provoke civil
unrest, and in this respect it should be deemed
punishable. Moreover, whilst Western society (with
the exception of the United States) has vetoed the
death sentence entirely, British Imperialism took
swift, brutal action on many colonial dissenters
right up to the mid 20th Century, illustrated above in
Orwell’s ethical contemplations during his service
in Burma.
However, this is not to say that the Chinese
authorities have acted responsibly with their
decision here, and the details surrounding the trial
are still hazy. It is believed that six witnesses were
ignored in their evidence that the defendant was
not sound in mind, and that judges “laughed” at
through inane problem solving exercises and then
being passed on to the warden who then passed me
on to the accommodation office who then passed
me back to, you guessed it, the Freewire providers,
I am now at the end of my wits with this phone.
And it seems that it’s not just me. I have spoken to
quite a few people who have explained to me their
various problems surrounding their Freewire room
phone. This includes a person who works at the
court reception who told me that his phone refused
point blank to connect him to free phone numbers
and that he had turned to finding public phones to
make these calls. Another frustrated person told
me she had resorted to switching her phone off
and on every time she had a problem (which was
almost every time she needed to make a call), and
sometimes this worked. Now I have tried everything,
calling helplines, complaining, even replacing the
handset, which by the way they recommend you do
but changes nothing and I finally had to rant about
it. After all a problem shared is a problem halved,
right?
Now don’t think that I am just ranting for the sake
of it. I actually want to get something done about it.
If you live on campus and have had any problems
with your Freewire phone please send an email
to the Stag newspaper titled Freewire Farce, and
hopefully we can get the accommodation office to
do something about it. Till then switch off/switch
on, dissacociate/associate, top-up and pray that it
works.
Shaikh’s speech when given the chance to defend
his actions. The humanitarian consideration that
China insist was offered Shaikh (visitors in the days
leading up to his death) may be a significant gesture
given the country’s track record of disregard for
human rights, but it fails to explain, or indeed cover
up the fact, that the intense psychological pressure
that this man faced was not further scrutinized by a
professional committee.
Blame for Akmal Shaikh’s fate will continue to be
disputed until tensions settle, but what seems clear
is that instead of focusing on why this happened,
the world should be questioning how we continue to
let this happen. Crime should always go punished
regardless of nationality, but is it still tolerable to
insist on an outdated program of vengeance rather
than rehabilitation in the 21st Century?
“We all had a drink together, native and
European alike, quite amicably. The
dead man was a hundred yards away.”
by Tom Goulding
 society present…

  
   
  
      
A week packed full of workshops, games, discussions, film
screenings, and environmental tips and info!
Including…
-”The environment and the general election” debate, with
Guildford’s parliamentary candidates
-The Age of Stupid film screening
-Campus-wide Carbon Treasure Hunt game!
-plus much, much more!

And, to kick it all off, our Go Green Week launch party…



From Huseyn (AS) b. Ali to the believers and Muslims
[of Iraq]: You have invited me to come to you because
you have no imam to guide you, and that you hope my
arrival there will unite you in the right path and in the
truth. You must be clear about the fact that the imam
can only be one who follows the Book of God, makes
justice and honesty his conduct and behavior, judges
with truth, and devotes himself to the service of God.
In response to the invitation of the people of Basra, Imam
Huseyn (AS) replied: . . . I have sent my messenger to
you and I call you to the Book of God and the sunna of
his Prophet, the sunna which has become obliterated;
innovations have become active and energetic. If you
listen to me and obey my orders, I will guide you to
the right path. May the peace and mercy of God be
upon you. There is space here only to give these two
quotations from numerous such statements which Imam
Huseyn (AS) made from the time he left Medina till his
martyrdom about six months later. These quotations are
by themselves a complete explanation of Imam Huseyn
(AS)’s approach to the question of leadership as well as
of the function of religion in society. They also explain
the duties of an imam and the nature of the Imamate
which was so distorted at this point in Islamic history.
The main points which emerge from them are:
(i) that an imam is one who unites the people;(ii) that
he should lead them to the right path and to truth;(iii)
that the Qur’an, as the Book of God, is an eternal
truth, and the duty of the imam is to follow its model,
and conduct his life according to the will of God;(iv)
Ahlul Bayt Society
that the imam must make justice and honesty the
cornerstones of his life;(v) that truth in its most universal
and absolute form must be his only criterion;(vi) and
that he must devote himself to the service of God.
The functions of the imam enumerated here are both
particular and universal, descriptive and normative, and
primary and evaluative; they can be applied in every
society, time and epoch. They are particular, descriptive
and normative when read strictly in the context of
Islam, and are universal, primary and evaluative if read
in their general meaning which embraces all religions
and the whole of humanity. The key terms in Imam
Huseyn (AS)’s declarations are: the unity of people
(which is basically a unity of purpose), the right path,
truth, justice and honesty, and devotion to the service
of God. These are in the essence of all religions as
well as of Islam. Here religion is not separated from
the well-being of society, and society is based on the
eternal reality which creates consciousness in society.
An inseparably implied meaning of Imam Huseyn
(AS)’s declarations is that the leader of men need
not take an active part in politics or in governmental
affairs. His primary function is to serve humanity with
ethical and normative integrity. He must create moral
consciousness and a sense of responsibility which
transcends the limits of the political community. He
must serve social and spiritual values, but unfortunately
totalitarian and despotic regimes subordinate spiritual
and moral activities to their ends. It is at this point that
Imam Huseyn (AS) rises up to set a new standard of
26
leadership for challenging totalitarianism, despotism
and the forces of evil. There were two ways open to
him, one to mass his forces, gather strength, power,
weapons and the military might to combat the despotic
rule of Yazid. This would not have been difficult for the
prestigious grandson of the Prophet, if he had wanted
to resort to such action. But the actions of Imam
Huseyn (AS) show that from the beginning to the end
his strategy aimed at a much higher goal than simply
accession to the caliphate, the term given to temporal
authority in Islam. There is no evidence that he tried,
while at Mecca, to enlist active supporters from among
the people who gathered around him, or to propagate
his cause among the great number of people who were
coming to Mecca for the hajj; there is also no evidence
that he attempted to send his emissaries to stir up any
rebellion in the provinces such as the Yemen or Persia,
which were sympathetic to his household, even though
he was advised by some of his family members to do
so. Above all, had he acted promptly on the invitation
of the Kufans, while Umayyad control over the city was
weak, he might have had a fair chance of success in
grasping temporal power. In the six-month period before
the battle of Karbala’, Imam Huseyn (AS) did nothing
to consolidate his strength and military power. Instead,
throughout this period he was preparing himself for a
different strategy of revolution.
Some of the writers on Karbala’, looking at it from the
common standards of war and victory, describe Imam
Huseyn (AS)’s action as an ambitious attempt to wrest
 27
political power and as an error of judgment.
Imam Huseyn (AS)’s numerous speeches,
addresses, letters and statements bear testimony to
the fact that he was fully aware of the situation and
the consequences. Suffice it to point out that on the
road from Medina to Mecca, then at the time when
he was being the ‘House of God’ for Kufa, and finally
throughout the journey from Mecca to Kufa he was
informed and warned by dozens of people about the
danger and that ‘the hearts of the Iraqis were for him but
their swords were for the Umayyads’. But Imam Huseyn
(AS)’s replies to all of those who attempted to deflect
him from his purpose were always more or less in the
same vein: I leave it to God to choose what is best....
God is not hostile to him who proposes the just cause.
From these replies it is clear that Imam Huseyn (AS)
was fully aware of the dangers he would encounter
and that he had a certain strategy and plan in mind
to bring about a revolution in the consciousness of the
Muslim community. Furthermore, it’s also very clear
from the sources as has been pointed out above that
Imam Huseyn (AS) did not try to organize or mobilize
military support, which he easily could have done in the
Hijaz, nor did he even try to exploit whatever physical
strength was available to him. On the contrary, from
the moment he left Mecca for Kufa, time and again
he gathered those accompanying him and asked them
to leave him alone and go to safety, the last of these
requests being on the night of ‘Ashura’. Is it conceivable
that anyone striving for political ascendancy would ask
his supporters to abandon him? No one can answer this
question in the affirmative. What then did Imam Huseyn
(AS) have in mind? Why was he still heading for Kufa?
A careful study and analysis of the events of Karbala
reveals that from the very beginning Imam Huseyn (AS)
was planning for a complete revolution in the religious
consciousness of Muslims. All of his actions show
that he was aware of the fact that a victory achieved
through military strength and might is always temporary,
because another stronger power can, in the course
of time, bring it down in ruins. But a victory achieved
through suffering and sacrifice is everlasting and leaves
permanent imprints on man’s consciousness. Imam
Huseyn (AS) was brought up in the lap of the founder
of Islam and had inherited the love and devotion to the
Islamic way of life from his father. As time went on, he
noticed the great changes which were rapidly taking
place in the community in regard to religious feelings
and morality. The natural process of conflict and struggle
between action and reaction was now at work. That is,
Muhammad’s progressive Islamic action had succeeded
in suppressing Arab conservatism, embodied in heathen
pre-Islamic practices and ways of thinking. But in less
than thirty years’ time this Arab conservatism had
revitalized itself as a forceful reaction to challenge
Muhammad’s action once again. The forces of this
reaction had already moved into motion with the rise of
Mu’awiya, but the succession of Yazid was a clear sign
that the reactionary forces had mobilized themselves
and now re-emerged with full vigor. The strength of
this reaction embodied in Yazid’s character, was now
powerful enough to suppress, or at least efface, the
Prophet’s action. His conduct amounted to open ridicule
of Muhammad’s sunna and the norms of the Qur’an. He
openly defied the Prophethood of Muhammad and the
revelation received by him.
Now this same Yazid had become the head of the
Muslim community and was asking Imam Huseyn
(AS) to accept his authority. Imam Huseyn (AS)’s
societiesdeskstag@gmail.com
acceptance of Yazid, with the latter’s reactionary
attitude against Islamic norms, would not have meant
merely a political arrangement but an endorsement
of Yazid’s character and way of life as well. Thus the
entire ethical and religious system of Islam, in the
thinking of Imam Huseyn (AS), was now in dire need of
the reactivation of Muhammad’s action against the old
Arabian reaction and required a complete shaking up.
He realized that mere force of arms would not save
Islamic action and consciousness. To him it needed
a shaking and jolting of hearts and feelings. This, he
decided, could only be achieved through sacrifice and
suffering, and therefore, in order to save Islam and its
values, and the freedom of man and his dignity, Imam
Huseyn (AS) made one of the greatest sacrifices in
human history. Eighteen male members of his family
including a six- month-old son and 44 of his companions
were killed in front of him and then he himself laid
down his life at the altar of truth and human rights.
Imam Huseyn (AS)’s body, already torn by numerous
wounds, was trampled under the hooves of the
horses, his tents were burnt and looted; the helpless
women and children were shamelessly paraded
through the streets of Iraq and Syria as captives,
and were treated with humiliation at the crowded
courts of Ibn Ziyad in Kufa, and Yazid in Damascus.
Imam Huseyn (AS) was fully aware of the extent of the
brutal nature of the reactionary forces. He knew that
after killing him the Umayyads would make his wife and
children captives and take them all the way from Kufa to
Damascus. This caravan of the captives of the Prophet’s
immediate family would publicize Imam Huseyn (AS)’s
message and would force the Muslims’ hearts to ponder
on the tragedy. It would make the Muslims think over
the whole affair and would awaken their consciousness.
Imam Huseyn (AS) was fully aware of the dangers he
would encounter and that he had a certain strategy
and plan in mind to bring about a revolution in the
consciousness of the Muslim community. Furthermore,
it’s also very clear from the sources as has been pointed
out above that Imam Huseyn (AS) did not try to organize
or mobilize military support, which he easily could have
done in the Hijaz, nor did he even try to exploit whatever
physical strength was available to him. On the contrary,
from the moment he left Mecca for Kufa, time and again
he gathered those accompanying him and asked them
to leave him alone and go to safety, the last of these
requests being on the night of “Ashura”. Is it conceivable
that anyone striving for political ascendancy would ask
his supporters to abandon him? No one can answer this
question in the affirmative. What then did Imam Huseyn
(AS) have in mind? Why was he still heading for Kufa?
A careful study and analysis of the events of Karbala”
reveals that from the very beginning Imam Huseyn (AS)
was planning for a complete revolution in the religious
consciousness of Muslims. All of his actions show
that he was aware of the fact that a victory achieved
through military strength and might is always temporary,
because another stronger power can, in the course
of time, bring it down in ruins. But a victory achieved
through suffering and sacrifice is everlasting and leaves
permanent imprints on man”s consciousness. Imam
Huseyn (AS) was brought up in the lap of the founder
of Islam and had inherited the love and devotion to the
Islamic way of life from his father. As time went on, he
noticed the great changes which were rapidly taking
place in the community in regard to religious feelings
and morality. The natural process of conflict and
struggle between action and reaction was now at work.
That is, Muhammad”s progressive Islamic action had
succeeded in suppressing Arab conservatism, embodied
in heathen pre-Islamic practices and ways of thinking.
But in less than thirty years” time this Arab conservatism
had revitalized itself as a forceful reaction to challenge
Muhammad”s action once again. The forces of this
reaction had already moved into motion with the rise of
Mu”awiya, but the succession of Yazid was a clear sign
that the reactionary forces had mobilized themselves
and now re-emerged with full vigor. The strength of
this reaction embodied in Yazid”s character, was now
powerful enough to suppress, or at least efface, the
Prophet”s action. His conduct amounted to open ridicule
of Muhammad”s sunna and the norms of the Qur”an.
He openly defied the Prophethood of Muhammad and
the revelation received by him. Now this same Yazid had
become the head of the Muslim community and was
asking Imam Huseyn (AS) to accept his authority. Imam
Huseyn (AS)”s acceptance of Yazid, with the latter”s
reactionary attitude against Islamic norms, would not
have meant merely a political arrangement but an
endorsement of Yazid”s character and way of life as well.
Thus the entire ethical and religious system of Islam, in
the thinking of Imam Huseyn (AS), was now in dire need
of the reactivation of Muhammad”s action against the
old Arabian reaction and required a complete shaking up.
He realized that mere force of arms would not save
Islamic action and consciousness. To him it needed
a shaking and jolting of hearts and feelings. This, he
decided, could only be achieved through sacrifice and
suffering, and therefore, in order to save Islam and its
values, and the freedom of man and his dignity, Imam
Huseyn (AS) made one of the greatest sacrifices in
human history. Eighteen male members of his family
including a six- month-old son and 44 of his companions
were killed in front of him and then he himself laid
down his life at the altar of truth and human rights.
Imam Huseyn (AS)”s body, already torn by numerous
wounds, was trampled under the hooves of the
horses, his tents were burnt and looted; the helpless
women and children were shamelessly paraded
through the streets of Iraq and Syria as captives,
and were treated with humiliation at the crowded
courts of Ibn Ziyad in Kufa, and Yazid in Damascus.
Imam Huseyn (AS) was fully aware of the extent of the
brutal nature of the reactionary forces. He knew that
after killing him the Umayyads would make his wife and
children captives and take them all the way from Kufa to
Damascus. This caravan of the captives of the Prophet”s
immediate family would publicize Imam Huseyn (AS)”s
message and would force the Muslims” hearts to ponder
on the tragedy. It would make the Muslims think over the
whole affair and would awaken their consciousness. This
is exactly what happened; Imam Huseyn (AS) succeeded
in his purpose. It is difficult today to evaluate exactly
the impact of Imam Huseyn (AS)”s action on Islamic
morality and way of thinking because it prevailed. Had
Imam Huseyn (AS) not shaken and awakened Muslim
consciousness by this method, can it be said that
Yazid”s way of life would not have become standard
behavior in the Muslim community, endorsed and
accepted by the grandson of the Prophet. Even after
Yazid, despotic rulers have held power in Islam, and the
character and personal behavior of these despotic rulers
has not been very different from that of Yazid, but the
change in thinking which prevailed after the sacrifice
of Imam Huseyn (AS) always served as a criterion of
distinction between the Islamic concept of leadership
and the behavior of totalitarian and despotic rulers.
Imam Huseyn (AS) tells the world that it is no use
destroying man; we must destroy man,s anti-human
actions and conduct. If rulers are overthrown but the
system remains unaltered, nothing is gained.
 30
International Volunteering Projects – Application
Hello! By doing an overseas volunteering trip through
Do>More, you will be able to get support and
Do>More are eager to help their members in advice from members who have previously
going on volunteering abroad trips, which we been on such trips, and the society will try our
hope will prove to be great life experience, as best to help you fundraise for your trip (this will not be representing the Students’ Union or
well as helping out people in need. will depend on the amount fundraised, and the University of Surrey. Students undertake
members considering a trip should not count to go on a volunteering trip at their own risk.
We expect these trips to prove hugely popular, on amounts coming from Do>More to be able Students going on the volunteering trips will not
and so have created this form to ensure we to pay for the trip). If you don’t reach your be covered by the University’s or the Students’
can choose co-ordinators and volunteers who target amount for your trip, please note that Union’s insurance. The University, the Students’
are committed, enthusiastic and ready for the you will have to consider not going unless you Union and the volunteering society student
challenges such trips can bring. Filling out can make up the difference with your own committee will not be responsible or liable
this form does not guarantee you a place on a money. for what happens on the volunteering trips.
volunteering trip. Volunteers will have to buy their own insurance
Answer clearly and honestly, this will allow you and take precautions such as vaccinations and
The volunteering trip to Uganda requires to really think about if you want to undertake other ordinary health and safety precautions.
a fixed sum of £300 per person that goes the trip as well.
directly to the charity, and £200 for food and We will do our best to provide some informal
accommodation for 4 weeks. These numbers When answering either tick or fill in the relevant training and guidance sessions to help with
do not include flights or incidental costs which answer. preparation for the volunteering trips.
may be incurred while in the country.
Email your completed form back to ussu. DEADLINE: 15th February 2010
The volunteering trip to Thailand does not domore@surrey.ac.uk.
require a donation to the charity, but you will
have to cover all your living, accommodation Disclaimer: While these trips will be undertaken
and travel costs. as a group of students volunteering together, The Do More Committee
there is no affiliation with the USSU and we
31
The Asperger’s Society
Information on Asperger’s syndrome – ‘raising
awareness of Asperger’s syndrome as well
as providing a social and support network for
students like ourselves’
Many of you would have had some experience of
dealing with Asperger’s syndrome, either personally
or through family and friends. For those of you
who do not know, Asperger’s syndrome is a form
of autism. It is described as a spectrum disorder
as those with the condition exhibit symptoms to
varying degrees.
Asperger’s syndrome bears the last name of
Austrian physicist Hans Asperger, who first described
the condition in his 1944 paper. Significant
developments in education and psychology have
led to a far greater understanding of ‘AS’. Despite
these developments, there seems to be no
conclusive evidence as to the exact cause. There is
thought to be a genetic link. There was a significant
amount of controversy over the MMR vaccine after
some research suggested that this may increase
the likelihood of developing autism.
Aspies, as they are sometimes known, will have
difficulty in understanding social conventions and
may talk in what seems to others an inappropriate
or tactless way. Limited eye contact and an inability
to pick up non-verbal cues from others can make
them appear insensitive to the hidden social
messages that form part of every interaction.
Aspies will often interpret language literally and
they often have difficulty in describing the feelings
of both themselves and others. They have difficulty
imagining how another person thinks and feels,
which is a cognitive function described as ‘Theory
of Mind’. This includes understanding that other
people have different knowledge, beliefs and
desires from one’s own.
They find it very difficult to work collaboratively,
which could have implications on group work and
tutorials. They have difficulty fitting in with others
and this can often lead to bullying, social isolation,
indifference or manipulation by others. They have
difficulty in making friends and the loneliness
experienced by many aspies can lead to poor self-
esteem and even mental health problems such as
depression and anxiety. This can often lead to a
lack of motivation for engaging in social activities.
They have a strong need for order and predictability,
which leads them to develop rituals and routines.
They have a fear of chaos and a resistance to
change and there is evidence to show that at times
of anxiety, transition or instability, insistence on
routine becomes more dominant and elaborate
(Attwood 1998). The need for predictability and
familiarity makes adapting to new situations and
circumstances difficult.
Hypersensitivity to sound, visual stimuli (particularly
lights and colours), textures, tastes, smells,
movement, pain and temperature are commonly
observed in people on the autism spectrum. This
hypersensitivity can often cause extreme anxiety
and stress.
The features outlined above all relate to problems
and difficulties experienced by people with
Asperger’s syndrome. To redress the balance it
is important to emphasise the many strengths
and positive qualities that arise as a result of the
condition.
Generally, aspies are considered to have a greater
Intelligence Quotient (IQ) than the population at
large. Cognitive ability is probably the greatest
asset for people with this condition and it should be
acknowledged and emphasised. They may acquire
a wide vocabulary and may have an exceptional
talent or skill such as drawing, painting and music.
They are often able to remember a huge amount of
detailed information, often related to their special
interest.
An ability to acquire system-based knowledge,
such as computer programming and mathematics,
and an ability to identify and absorb patterns in
data such as dates, shapes, timetables, number
strings or number plates are recognised strengths
for many aspies. A person with Asperger’s
syndrome ‘follows own desires and beliefs rather
than paying attention to or being influenced by,
others’ desires or beliefs’ (Baron-Cohen, Leslie
and Frith 1985). An ability to resist ‘following the
crowd’ is an advantage in many situations. They
are often steadfastly loyal to people who have been
understanding and supportive. Honesty and loyalty
are valued attributes in relationships and society.
Message from the President
In the summer, I was invited to take part in an
induction programme for students with Asperger’s
syndrome and high-functioning autism. It was
to begin three days prior to the rest of students
moving into their campus accommodation.
The programme included tours around campus,
which assisted us in adapting to our new
surroundings as well as introducing us to the many
services which we may require during our time
at university. The programme also consisted of
several social activities including bowling, pizza, the
cinema, restaurant, Guildford town centre and food
shopping before cooking a meal.
I believe the programme served its objective by
assisting us in adapting to our surroundings, while
also introducing us to other students with similar
difficulties to ourselves.
I raised the idea with a couple of the others
about forming a new society. After some research
into forming new societies, I was able to gather
support from other students around campus. The
society was formally ratified in November after a
presentation by James Lind, Demitri Levantis and I.
The objectives of the society are to raise awareness
of Asperger’s syndrome as well as providing a social
and support network for students like ourselves.
The AGM was held on Monday 7th December. I was
elected as President, James Lind as Treasurer and
Gareth Evans as Secretary.
If you want to find out more about Asperger’s
syndrome or wish to be involved, then you can
either visit our union website or email us and we
would be more than happy to respond.
Phillip Berriman
President, Asperger’s Society
WEBSITE: www.ussu.co.uk/aspergers
EMAIL: ussu.aspergers@surrey.ac.uk

Chinese New Year Celebrations A £5 whole evening ticket includes:

Student Union Rubix Club Chinese food, Performance, Traditional games, big prizes, Mid-
Saturday 27th February 2010 night party
Commences at 6:00 pm
Tickets sale in Bookshop in February.
Want to experience the Chinese traditional New Year celebra-
tion culture? If you have some talent you want to share with us
And want to take part in the performance,
With many delicious Chinese food served at 6pm
Fabulous traditional dancing, singing performance at 7:30pm Please contact t.xu@surrey.ac.uk
Party in Rubix from 10pm – 2am
Most attractively, win a big prize for flying China!!! Big prizes are also provided for performers.

Tickets for the whole evening £5 Any performance will be welcome!

Tickets for the party only £2
 32
300 RIDERS U 3 COUNTRIES U 3 DAYS
IMPROVING THOUSANDS OF LIVES
4TH -
7TH J
ULY 2
010 Arrive in Brussels
WAtch the 2nd stAge of
the tour de frAnce
heAd to Bruges the next dAy

cycle to Calais
Where We cross
the english Channel

set off for london

& A grAndstAnd finish
At greenwiCh Park

rAise £1000
& hAve A lAsting impAct
on thousAnds of
children’s lives through
the poWer of sPort and Play!

WE WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO JOIN US. FOR MORE DETAILS PLEASE VISIT
WWW.STUDENTS4RIGHTTOPLAY.ORG.UK OR CALL 020 7812 0635

Open to all abilities, there will be a full support team. For more info contact Trung at m01772@surrey.ac.uk
Enjoy a free Egham

ride
Whilst Tesco Egham is closed for a store extension,
hop aboard our FREE bus to Tesco Extra Addlestone.
See in-store for bus timetable or visit www.tesco.com/storelocator

Tesco Egham will be temporarily closed from 4pm, Sunday14th February until 7.30am, Monday 22nd February .

Spring Term 2010

Students’ Union Training
Everyone graduates from University with a degree, what will make you different?

Thursday 25th February

Presenting in Public
Thursday 4th March
Getting Past No
Working in other cultures
??????

turn over for many more sessions...

www.ussu.co.uk/training
 OPENING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
FOOD SERVING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY
Monday Night | Monday Madness
Monday Madness mixes up a concoction of lots of drinks deals
along with Channies famous cocktails. It may be a Monday, but it is
THE place to come for some tunes and promos before you head into
town. Why wait until Friday to relax? Begin your week like you mean
to end it!
Tuesday Night | Chancellors’ Challenge
& Comedy Night (Alternate Tuesdays)
Come and test your brains at Chancellors Challenge. Not just for
egg heads, but it helps! Hosted by our able quizmasters you have
the chance to win cash, free entry to Rubix and many other prizes.
Alternate Tuesdays you’ll find Comedy Nights here with some of the
best names in comedy from the London circuit and the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival.
Wednesday Night | Pre Citrus drinks
Midweek shennaigans starts in full flow with live DJ’s and an
expansive drinks menu. Channies is the perfect meeting place
so make sure you get here early before it is jam packed!
HOW TO ORDER FOOD
Find a table & note its
number | Place your
order at the bar | Pay &
keep your receipt | Your
order will be brought to
your table. Thank you.
08.00AM - 11.00PM
10.00AM - MIDNIGHT
11.00AM - 11.00PM
08.00AM - 8.30PM
10.00AM - 7.30PM
10.00AM - 7.30PM
Thursday Night | Open Mic
The hugely popular Open Mic night kicks off around 8pm with a mix of
original stuff and covers hosted by Alistair Cowan. The floor is yours
to show off your musical talent and there is a house guitar available,
or you are welcome to bring your own instruments. Make sure you get
here early as it gets packed out!
Friday Night | Pre flirt! drinks
Make sure you start the weekend at the best bar on campus and in
Guildford! Chancellors is the place for pre-flirting before you head
upstairs to Rubix! Make sure you come down early as it will be busy.
You have been warned!
Sunday Night | Poker Nights
Challenge your peers in a game of deceit and intrigue every other
Sunday night. It’s £5.50 buy in, so make sure you bring your poker
face along as well as your money!
All events and timings are subject to change.
Chancellors.
Not for profit, just for students.
Your Students’ Union is a charity, therefore all the profit it makes through
Chancellors goes back into funding sports clubs and equipment, societies
and cultural events, student media, development and professional training ,
welfare and representation and everything else that is Union led!
So next time you dine or drink here, give yourself a pat on the back as you
have recycled your money back into providing better facilities for students
here. Well done and thank you all!
 35
Music
Four Tet – There Is Love In You
It’s definitely about time there was another he can retreat to when producing on his own tracks are concerned, if you like the Moth/Wolf
Four Tet album out. On paper Four Tet’s music that is full of idiosyncratic yet blissfuly varied Cub Burial collaboration then Moth’s pulsing
sounds shit: looping phrases and novel, grainy material. His ability to make a simple looped lilt is easily noticeable in the cacophony of
instruments might put you in mind of waking phrase feel fresh for so long is an ability shared control that is Sing. Elsewhere, This Unfolds
up to the endlessly looping DVD menu of some only with a select few artists (Lemon Jelly and dresses itself up as a self-fulfilling prophecy
terrible low-budget ‘psychological thriller’. In Boards of Canada being two of that minority). and builds through seven minutes of reflective
actuality however Kieran Hebden transforms His use of diverse instruments and timbres genius. Indeed it’s hard to pick standout tracks
those aspects into much more than the sum helps to serve his fresh feel but this technique on an album where all the songs are as varied
of their parts. is by no means an easy escape route. Yet the as they are cohesive.
seamless instrumentation of tracks like Circling
Despite Hebden’s collaborations with artists like (which is in fact very reminiscent of Boards of Ultimately, this album picks up exactly where
Burial and Steve Reid it’s been five years since Canada) appears to come so naturally. Four Tet left off with Everything Ecstatic and
Everything Ecstatic was released and despite whilst it may never compare to Roundsin many
my initial appraisal of Four Tet’s work you never There are drastic differences in the lengths fan’s eyes, if it takes five years for Hebden to
know what negative things can happen in a of the songs on the album and it would be serve up his next offering then I’m happy to
man’s head when he has time to spare (see very easy for the album to feel like it had an wait if it is comparable to There Is Love In You
The Nightwatchman). Nevertheless, much as inconsistent pace. However, Hebden seems – albeit wait very reluctantly …
I’d hoped (and ultimately expected) There Is to intuitively know exactly how much each
Love In You pulls no punches and perhaps even track has to give and moves you through each by Richard Beddington
outshines its predecessor. It seems there must new musical landscape with the ease of an
be some inherent cavern in Hebdon’s head that experienced holiday-planner. As far as standout

musicdeskstag@gmail.com
Local Natives – Sun Hands
Local Natives from LA haveTrack of the Week...
some beautiful and interesting vocal parts, with a
really catchy guitar riff that means I can’t stop listening to it!

Norah Jones – The Fall

Once again Norah has given us an album to unwind to. The perfect soundtrack for some
post-revision relaxation, “The Fall” combines smooth jazz with soft synths beneath emotive
lyrics. If you’re looking for a chillout album, this is just the ticket.
by Daisha Ferdinand

3 Of A Kind – Baby Cakes

With meaningless lyrics and terrible production, I’d like to know who organised it but I bet it went a
Worst No. 1
little like this:
‘So, what’s the new song like?’
2000-2009
‘Well, it’s called Babycakes, and it’s a pop garage number, and we sing about girls and stuff, that
cool?’
‘Sounds amazing, have some money, I’m sure it will go to number 1’
Mark Allen
 36
Nickleback – Rockstar The Album Leaf – A Chorus Of
Besides having been murdered by
Storytellers
Worst No. 1
record plays and destroying a classic
with lazy lyrics? This song was an-
noyingly stuck in all our heads for a
Californian’s The Album Leaf have been pumping out
music since 1998, so they have a bit of a legacy to live
most of their albums.
There’s no particular

2000-2009
good nine months while it defied log-
ic and stayed in the charts despite it
trying to be mainstream by stealing
and stomping on an old classic.
Faye Carpenter
Baha Men –
Who Let the Dogs Out
up to when it comes to their 5th studio album. A Chorus order to them, but
of Storytellers has been hotly anticipated for many, as the vocals sit so far
it’s their first release in over three years since Into The back in the mix that
Blue Again, which mixed vocal and instrumental music, it’s not a noticeable
and had some amazing tracks on it. element. Stand Still is
one of my favourites,
The album opens with a Perro, a song that has the typical with huge drums and
Album Leaf soft organ sound. Its subdued mood and simple, yet beautiful
sound recordings of what seems like a child repeating guitar work. Summer
‘perro’ with a mother create an interesting mood as you Fog is one of the most
sit and try to work out what they are saying. mournful songs on
the album. DO NOT
TAL’s music is always seen as being very moving and listen to this if you’re feeling down. It will only send you
depressing, but many of the songs on this album seem further into your sorrow-filled hole. It has its place here

Worst No. 1
I’ll tell you who let the dogs
out – a complete twat. We
to have an uplifting side to them. Blank Pages starts
as a very slow tempo song, moving into a much more
hopeful piece, and the violin even has some elements
though, moving slowly between chords and even has
some uplifting elements in the middle.

2000-2009
got this to #2. And then
Crazy Frog covered it. I hope
of highland music for a wedding or something. There Is
A Wind is the first song with vocals, combining electronic
with live instruments which they are so good at doing.
This is a good album, and I like fact they haven’t altered
their sound too much from the last few albums. On
the couple of times I’ve listened to it, I would say it’s
you’re all happy. Drew’s understated vocals are spot on, and are perfect not as epic as Into The Blue Again or In A Safe Place,
for the mood of this album. but new and old Album Leaf fans alike should not be
disappointed.
Andy Flowers There is a good mix of instrumental tracks and vocal-
lead tracks on this album, something they have done on by Mark Allen

Vampire Weekend – Contra

Contra is Vampire Weekend’s second studio
album, which I’m sure fans have been anticipating
for a long time. Vampire Weekend are a New York
indie-electro band, formed in 2006. They are well
known for experimenting with different genres, and
incorporate these genres into their music making it
their own unique sound, which they do well!
Vampire Weekend have great poetic-like lyrics in
their new album, just like in their first album, which
shows they’re clever lyricists with a bank of ideas for
songs. The album begins with Horchata, an electric
Calypso song with catchy rhyming lyrics throughout,
“Here comes a feeling you thought you’d forgotten,
chairs to sit and sidewalks to walk on”. Holiday and
Cousins are reminiscent of A-Punk, with similar
guitar rifts unique to Vampire Weekends sound.
The band say African music is an influence on their
own music and they definitely make their influences
the bands own. You can certainly tell by listening
to Diplomats Son that it has African-style rhythm.
With Reggae beats, it’s unique to any of the other
songs on the album. The song contains sampling
from two songs by M.I.A and the Ska and Reggae
group Toots & the Maytals. Diplomats Son is a
complex clever little number, because of its range of
sounds, sampling and story-like lyrics. Rumours are
that the song is about ‘The Clash’s’ Joe Strummer,
the Clash’s style of music is a definite favourite of
Vampire Weekend.
From listening to the album, you can tell every song
has been cleverly thought out. Vampire Weekend
are, after all, an intelligent bunch of music loving
guys. Their music is clever and catchy and their
lyrics are thoughtful, meaningful, dealing with
things such as social issues, (“and the sight of
dishes sitting in the bathtub let me know that I
shouldn’t give up just yet”) love and everyday life
as in the song ‘Run’, “she said ‘you know there’s
nowhere else to go’” “...It struck me that the two
of us could run...worlds away from cars and all the
stars in bars”.
The album finishes with the strangely beautiful ‘I
Think Ur A Contra’, mixing piano and cool synth
sounds. They say one of the influences for the
album is retro gaming; ‘Contra’ is definitely a retro
game, though it seems they’ve adopted Contra
to mean something completely different, in this
introspective tale of some kind of broken love.
This album has it all, up-beat tempos, funky ballads,
and thoughtful slower songs, all put together to
create a modern music masterpiece. The thing with
‘Contra’ is that each track is crafted differently from
the previous, but each with the unmatched sound
of Vampire Weekend.
by Mary-Rose D’Ambrosio

Midlake – The Courage of Others

Folk has had a bit of an insurgence over the UK in
the last year, with many acts such as Fleet Foxes
and Mumford and Sons reaching huge acclaim,
even within the auto-tuned RnB riddled charts.
Although Texans Midlake are not hugely known
over here, they are slowly gaining attention, with
dates all over the UK, and two London dates
practically sold out. The hugely successful Trials Of
Van Occupanther released in 2006 gave us many
city-dwellers a taste of rural life, with songs about
harvest and fixing roofs, amongst other things.
The album opens with the huge Acts Of Man, which
has the perfect Midlake vibe to set up new and old
listeners alike. Tim Smith’s heartfelt and sombre
lyrics flow over you, leading into Winter Dies, where
he starts cracking out stuff to do with seasons
changing, making you see it more as poetry than
just lyrics about ‘that hot girl on the dance floor’ or
how much you’re going to dance tonight.
Small Mountains is another menagerie of dynamics,
ranging from epic choruses with amazing yet subtle
vocal harmonies taking all your attention away from
the drums and guitar holding it all together in the
background. Rulers, Ruling All Things is one of my
personal favourites, even if some people have been
comparing it to Metallica of all bands. It may do,
sure, but it’s better in my opinion.
The album ends with a couple of humble yet
haunting down-tempo numbers (even though you
could argue they are all fairly down-tempo), leading
you out of this truly beautiful album. It may be
different from TOVO, but none of the songwriting
charms are lost.
by Mark Allen
 37
Cosmo Jarvis – Cosmo Jarvis Boileroom 16th Jan – Arcane fire, All The
Other Humans, Bleech and Slaves To
The make or break Gravity.
success of a debut
album is daunting Arcane Roots from Surrey provided some great vocal work, using
for any solo artist, subtle and effective vocal harmonies that might have even seem
yet the 19-year- more suited for Folk or Country. They threw in huge dynamic shifts
old, New Jersey to create a blend of rock and pop that could please all different
born Jarvis not tastes in music. Huge beat downs at the ends of tracks like Rouen
only makes light went down a storm, cracking out riffs similar to that of Billy Talent
of such anxieties and the like.
in his Devonshire
home studio but Following on from them was All The Other Humans, who pulled a
strides on to the good crowd to this intimate venue. Blending metal, pop and rock
music scene as elements and even heavy breakdowns at the end, tracks like ‘seven
if he has always years of bad luck’ stuck out for me. With a really cool intricate break
belonged there. down, and some tasty guitar work, it was a crowd favourite. These
Armed with a guys had elements of Hell Is For Heroes in there, and I thought if
mandolin and a they were slightly tighter it would have made it really great.
witty repertoire,
Cosmo Jarvis’ self- Bleech were up next, and I had seen them before playing to a much
titled double album smaller crowd in London back in August. Tonight was much busier,
packs a punch at and they had a lot of loyal fans in the front row cheering them on.
every turn, delving They played a tight performance, bringing in three way vocals for
into various genres some of their songs which always impresses me. They had a huge
that range from sound considering there was only three of them up there.
folk to hip-hop.
Slave To Gravity had a slightly heavier sound, but people stuck
The social better off not braving the double album around for their riff-based rock. Powerful vocals and massive
commentary comes thick and fast, format until he has progressed as an choruses worked really well, and some really interesting riffs were
alternating from the crude satire of Lonely artist. used, shying away from the ‘chug rock’ that it can become so easily.
Island in Jessica Alba’s Number to the Epic tunes with big changes throughout.
darker, ironic undertones of domestic Despite this, Cosmo Jarvis is a rollercoaster
violence in He Only Goes Out On Tuesdays, ride, a thoroughly enjoyable record for by Mark Allen
echoing the Eminem hit Stan. However, those who like to lie back on a sunny
like The Marshall Mathers LP, Cosmo afternoon and suppress a smile at quick, David Hasselhoff – Jump in My Car
Jarvis is a non-linear train-wreck; while dry humour. This may not be The White
some songs are fascinating and well Album or Blonde on Blonde, but its certain
accomplished such as the catchy single
She’s Got You and the sing-along stomper
that wherever Jarvis chooses to go next,
he has a potentially fruitful career ahead Worst No. 1
There’s only two words to describe this song –
incredibly cringe-worthy. He was like 53 when he
Problems, in other places Jarvis’ output of him. released that song which is also pretty creepy.
becomes tediously predictable. Clean My
Room and Maxine plod along with a sole Rating: 3/5 2000-2009
Mary-Rose D’Ambrosio
trajectory to fill the remaining time slot,
suggesting that Jarvis may have been by Tom Goulding

Did They Take The Power Back? The Crazy Frog

After the greatest joust in popular music since Blur went
head to head with Oasis in 1995, Rage Against The
Machine stormed the UK charts on the 20th December
with their defiant 1992 anthem Killing in the Name,
scraping the number one spot ahead of X Factor-favourite
Joe McElderry.
was aimed at him as an individual. Swooping in to aid
Sony-socialism entered Sir Paul McCartney, stating that The thing that annoys me most
a Rage victory would be “funny” and demonstrating an about this song is that its ‘creators’
appropriate U-turn after his despairing performance of can probably now retire because
Drive My Car during the X Factor finale.
of it; by using a badly replicated

The grass roots movement to topple Simon Cowell’s

karaoke cash cow was the brainchild of Jon and Tracy
Morter, two online activists “fed up” with the media
mogul enslaving the Christmas music scene. What
started out as a modest ambition quickly snowballed into
a Facebook frenzy, with the group gaining an average of
100,000 members per day; some enticed by the novelty
of Zach De La Rocha’s infamous expletives resounding
across the nation, whilst others believed the idea was a
chance to break away from the mainstream mediocrity.
As the contest heated up and various factions were
devised, the celebrities soon waded into the ring. In
one corner, Team Joe: a damp-eyed Cheryl Cole who
accused the public of “bullying” her star-struck protégée
and Simon Cowell, whose ego clearly not affected by
his streak of successes, claimed the “cynical campaign”
It seems strange that a seventeen-year-old hard-hitting
political statement about deep-rooted institutional racism
across the US should penetrate our own culture in such
a profound way. Whether Rage Against The Machine’s
victory was a breakthrough for the yuletide cynics or a
marketing ploy indirectly influenced by a conglomerate
industry is irrelevant. What really matters is the dwindling
singles format, which suffered throughout the last
decade, was briefly rekindled by an entirely democratic
group of people determined to make a difference.
Despite the millions spent on mind-numbing advertising,
superficial smiles and enough strobe lighting to outgun
a THX lightsaber duel on ecstasy, there is still some
satisfaction in realizing the British public won’t do as
they’re told just yet.
by Tom Goulding
Worst No. 1
synth line from an average cop
show with a speech impaired
2000-2009
amphibian – sorry what? In book
terms it’s the equivalent of eating
a couple of cans of ‘alphabetti
sphagetti’, popping a couple of
laxatives, getting a good night
sleep and then defecating on a
page of A4 and yet I’d be lucky to
escape a prison term if I took that
to Random House let alone add
six zeros to my bank balance …
Richard Beddington

Dance and Theatre......
Welcome Back Dance and Theatre readers and
Happy New Somester!
I hope you enjoy this issue and as ever if you’d
like to write an article please contact me at
dancedeskstag@gmail.com. In particular we are
looking for more writers for Theatre.
Many Thanks,
Rachel Gildea
Dance and Theatre Editor
Actual Size Dance Company –
Latest News and Info
Actual Size is now currently working with choreographer Rachel
Burn to create a piece of work for the Ignition Dance Platform
(Godalming). The performance event will run over two nights –
Thursday 25th-Fri 26th Feb, 7:30pm.
Moving On
All final year students that run Actual Size Dance Co and the
Education Team will be passing on our roles soon. However, to
ensure that the company continues to operate as smoothly and
professionally as possible, those taking over will be shadowing
and working along myself and Kirsty Sidaway the remainder of
this term until Easter. Those working with Tara Baker (Artistic
Director) will be, Mikey Adamson HE1, Nathan Coakley HE1,
Giovanna Lopez HE2 and Rachel Gildea HE1; working alongside
Kirsty for the Education Team will be Jo Palmer HE2.
In the meantime, Tara Baker will still be over-seeing the
company’s current events.
Should you have any enquires regarding professional workshops
please contact Tara Baker: tb00029@surrey.ac.uk or Giovanna
Lopez: gl00024@surrey.ac.uk
Dates for your diary:
Wed 10th Feb – Technique class with Judith Mandel Winslow,
PATS, 6-7:30pm
No session week starting 15th Feb.
Wed 24th Feb – Bedlam Dance Company, PATS, 6-8pm
Wed 3rd March – Technique class with Clare Brzezicki, AC
Studio, 6-8pm
Last session Wed 10th March – PATS JAM, lead Tara Baker, AC
Studio, 6-8pm
All sessions will cost £2 as a contribution towards getting in
more professional practitioners.
“You have to love dancing to stick to it. It gives you nothing
back, no manuscripts to store away, no paintings to
show on walls and maybe hang in museums, no poems
to be printed and sold, nothing but that single fleeting
moment when you feel alive. It is not for unsteady souls.”
– Merce Cunningham
38
38
What’s On?
I hope you all had a fun, relaxing festive break and are looking forward to the new semester!
If you want to have some time away from revision and/or coursework in February, here’s
a selection of the events that we have coming up that may tickle your fancy. For a full
programme please go to www.surrey.ac.uk/arts or pick up an Arts Brochure from the PATS
building lower foyer or the Art Gallery, which is situated next to the Bookshop.
Sunday 31 January: Composers/Choreographers Workshop Presentations
When: 7.30pm
Where: PATS Dance Studio
What: An evening of new works devised over an intensive weekend by students in the
Departments of Music & Sound Recording and Dance, Film and Theatre Studies.
How much: Free
Wednesday 3 February: Film showing Lagaan
When: 6pm
Where: In our new ‘art house cinema’, alternatively known as the PATS Dance Studio
What: The second screening in our Catch up on your Bollywood season, Lagaan: Once upon
a time in India is one of the most celebrated Bollywood epics of all time. If you haven’t been
to a Bollywood screening before then this is definitely a good place to start.
How much: Free
Sunday 7 February: Free For All Concert
When: 7.30pm
Where: University Hall
What: The University’s Department of Music & Sound Recording presents the Free for All
Concert, showcasing the enormous range of musical styles and talent of the various bands
and performers within the department. Roots open for drinks. Where else will you be on a
Sunday evening?
How much: £3
Friday 12 February: Steven Isserlis Cello Recital
When: 7.30pm
Where: PATS Studio One
What: An evening of chamber music with a programme celebrating the anniversaries of
Chopin, Barber, Schumann and Dohnanyi.
How much: £10 for students. Call 01483 686 876.
Also this February…
The University’s Symphony Orchestra and Choir will perform at Guildford Cathedral on
Saturday 20th February. Performing one of Western classical music’s most famous and
celebrated works, Beethoven’s 9th Symphony, it is set to be a magical evening in the Cathedral.
Highly recommended! We expect you will be moved!
Are you bored of the usual lunch hour sat around feeling lethargic following a morning of
lectures? Why not liven up your lunch-hour and try something new? Every Wednesday we
hold free lunchtime concerts in the PATS Building, Studio One between 1.10pm and 2pm.
 39
The Rite Boyz
Review of Ballet Boyz
Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring
Broadcast on BBC 3
Wednesday 6th January 2010
The BBC Christmas season is one that does much for
the promotion of dance in this country. This season a
documentary of an exciting – and quite daring – production
of Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring. For those who know of
the original Rite, which was created in 1913, an array of
reaction prevailed; similarly Michael Nunn and William
Trevitt’s modern day setting provides quite controversial
reaction.
Stravinsky’s original Rite saw tribes gather to observe
the pagan ritual in which a young girl dances herself to
death. Keeping true to the original narrative, The Boyz
begin their adaptation by searching for tribes. They use,
for the most part, professional dancers of varying stylistic
talents: from B Boyz, to commercial and contemporary;
although, what did come as a shock to viewers was their
use of amateur dancers. After all, this ambitious project
with its tight schedule is surely challenging enough for a
professional dancer, let alone an amateur one.
The performance itself takes place in Shoreditch, East London
to a select group who form a standing audience. Colours
contrast as the harsh white spotlights highlight the steely
poles that populate the stage. The remaining area remains
in shadow, an air of mystery and anticipation surrounds all
who are present.
One of the B Boyz, a black male dancer, enters the stage. He
emerges animalistic, acrobatic as he runs on his hands with
incredible skill; slow, suspended balances. A true leader of
his tribe, he beckons the others on stage. Here begins the
B Boyz section ‘Dance of the Adolescents’. Black trousers,
white shirts and leathers reinforce the setting as a dance-
off scene transcends; their tricks and skills are presented
for all to see. Whooping and hollering they assert their tribal
instincts; a dance of virtuosity.
Not quite as one might expect, ‘The Dance of Fertility’ features
two pole dancers from Essex. However, due to strong
preconceptions that surround, perhaps very few of the
audience would expect such a thrilling section. In unison
they demonstrate their tremendous flexibility, strength and
stamina as they hold themselves in some daring positions.
Their high technique gives a Burlesque feel to their
performance, they are truly mesmerising to watch.
‘The Dance of the Sacrificial Virgins’ is represented in
masculine form for this adaptation. For this the four men
dance with vigorous energy, almost disturbingly so. The
Chosen One emerges from them, his blood stained hand
a symbol for his pain. Angular, jagged lines in the body,
reaching hands and high focus as if to God connote this
frantic climax of the piece. Challenging the power of gender
roles.
This adaptation has every reason to not succeed. Its complex
score and unlikely cast are just some of the reasons.
However, the result is not merely a culmination of effort
and luck but the enthusiasm of all involved. Collaboration
on such a huge scale does work and for the most part, it is
the desire to portray new and exciting.
by Lucy Al-Zoghbi
Christmas – When the Dance Department
went public…
Review of Christmas Showcase
PATS, University of Surrey
15th, 16th December 2009
Paper strewed across the floor, a white bucket placed beside it. The piece is about lists. The
dancers appear to be ticking off movement as they go. We hear small movements of the feet,
a voice speaking in the background. A mix of rock’n’roll music follows, then some modern r’n’b:
a bricolage. The grey costumes of the dancers, a head inside the bucket, water poured, jerky
movements.
In true a Surrey style of juxtaposition – a line of ballerinas enter, all donning white tutus, poised,
beautiful, weaving their way down the stage. Classical piano complements the dance; their
precision and technical ability leaves us in awe.
Next, a flurry of dancers swarm the stage, frenzied running, exhaling loudly in the silence. Feet
squeak across the floor. They hit the floor out of time, in their own worlds. Spoken words heard,
“I cannot imagine”, “hunger”, “signs of life”. I was proud, I have to say.
Then, the bass line swallows the space, a slightly disturbing inclination, one dancer present on
stage, highlighted by a low yellow light. Stillness. Black clothing. A second body walks on stage,
grabbing and pinching their arm. Considerate and sensual partner work ensues.
Then, my personal favorite: A camouflage of greens and browns, the music to the film “Atonement”
is sharp, a typewriter, beautiful rivets of piano. It tells the story of life in the trenches: the fear, the
need to be strong, friendship, the unknown. Sensual partner work, along with strong highlighting
turning jumps.
Dancers in black costumes, sitting. Words are spoken, “That’s wrong”, “One two”, “Off”. There
are four dancers all very linear in bright lighting. Quick and jerky the dance in unison, heads all
leaning on one another whilst walking. They contort one another, create floor work, you can see
the strong relationship between the dancers, finishing with one final word…”Off”.
by Lili Thorn Gent
dancedeskstag@gmail.com
The New CDI programme for all Surrey Dance Students!
- Thursdays 5pm-6.30pm
- PATS Dance Studio
- ALL for FREE
- Exclusively for Dance students
- ... and there’s no need to sign up – simply come to as many as you like
11 February: Efi Danza
Professional Dance School of Despina Grigoriadou, Greece graduate. Contemporary-Jazz class
18 February: Iris Chan
University of Surrey graduate. Release class with improvisation and partner work
25 February: Theresa Hawkins
University of Surrey graduate. Mixed contemporary class
04 March: Rachel Burn
Middlesex University graduate. Cunningham class
11 March: Vanessa Abreu
Laban graduate. Release/Cunningham class
Julie Havelund
CDI Coordinator, University of Surrey
jh00111@surrey.ac.uk
 40
It’s a duet, but it takes three: you, me, us.
Review of Resolution!
The Place, London
Tuesday 19th January
A man and a woman look blankly out into the audience from the dimly lit stage. or deep enough.
They stand together but their differences and unease gives rise to an awkward
third presence. In silence they twist shyly away from it or edge clumsily into Well described by
it. A brilliantly accurate portrayal of the exchanges which take place between The Guardian as a
a couple. Body language speaks volumes as the unconscious shows itself. As night of ‘pick-n-mix’,
they entwine and retract, the space between them shrinks and grows. They Resolution! can be
copy, support, push, shoulder, slide across one another – discordant mostly, hit or miss, although
dancing in and out of the shadows created by the hanging lightbulbs which Wayne McGregor and
they switch on and off. Hofesh Shechter both
got their first breaks
The beginning of the New Year marks the start of the largest contemporary there. It continues until
platform in Europe – ‘Resolution! In six weeks 102 different performances the 20th February so I
bring their ideas about dance to The Place, London. recommend you take
the chance. Love it or
Three duets were performed that evening but it was the relationship explored in hate it you’ll have plenty
the first one which captured me: the space between the dancers. The second to talk about on the way home, and it’s not bad for a fiver.
and third seemed rather lack lustre in comparison; aesthetically pleasing, but
devoid of anything more substantial in terms of meaning – they didn’t go far, by Rachel Gildea

‘It’s Beeehhhiiinnnnd you!’

Are we over the Christmas tradition of Pantomime? Or will it continue
to be an entity in British society at Christmas time?
The Christmas pantomime: a long standing tradition, attended by many as
part of their holiday happenings. It is normally aimed at families with children;
however adults do attend regardless whether this is because they are carrying
on something they did as children or whether they actually enjoy the obvious
jokes and audience banter. The stories that provide the pantomime are usually
derived from fairy tales and stories, many now Disney films, that will be familiar
to children such as; Snow White, Dick Whittington, Cinderella, Peter Pan etc.
They are performed over the country during the festive season. As much as
they are all similar in that way, the production I saw in London seemed much
more professional.
Dance plays an important role in pantomime. It offers entertainment and
another piece of the fun to enjoy. This year one of our fellow dancers, a second
year here at the University of Surrey successfully auditioned and performed
in a local panto. Although the production didn’t have the same effects or
elaborate scenes as the London one it was still fun and the question ‘are we
over the pantomime?’ was answered: cheesy as it may be it is an national
treasure. A lot of dancers in panto are training or trained professionals training
at places like Laine Theatre Arts or Itial Conti so it is encouraging to know that
people in courses like ours (BA Dance and Culture) are successfully taking
part in professional pantos, and congratulations to her.
Food for thought: think outside the box – audition / take part in professional
projects... Don’t turn your back on panto just yet... 
by Jennifer Pearce
41
Film Get the popcorn ready......
Your DVD Reviews
THIRST
As you’d expect from the director of Oldboy, this ain’t Twilight.
It’s bloody, sexy, it’s bizarre beyond all comprehension but
somehow it works. After a failed medical experiment a
priest becomes a vampire, and immediately falls in love
with everything he has spent his life renouncing – drinking
blood a surprisingly small part of that. As with all good
vampire movies, it’s hardly about vampires at all. True, he
does have to deal with where to get blood from; settling on
a comatose hospital patient for a little while, but the film is
far more interested in his lust for the married woman than
his for blood.
As befits the rest of South-Korea’s recent output, the direction has more stylish cool
than anything out of the Western world recently. Don’t be put off by it’s idiosyncrasies,
the film is surprisingly accessible, possibly due to it’s familiar premise, but more
likely just plain good writing that make it never, ever boring. Right down to the almost
wordless final sequence that’ll both punch you in the gut and maybe even make you
laugh out loud, which pretty much sums up this messy, stylish and weirdly romantic
film.
*****
HARDWIRED
Val Kilmer used to be Batman. Let’s hope he’s remembered
for Heat, Top Gun and the criminally under-watched Kiss
Kiss Bang Bang and not this straight-to-DVD actioner. It’s
all about evil, evil corporations spying on people in a not
too subtle way (the McDonald’s logo is on the Hoover Dam
and Stone Henge projects the Windows logo in this near-
future setting). Cuba Gooding Jr. is in a car accident and
gets amnesia (what is it with straight-to-DVD movies and
amnesia??) but his life is saved by a microchip implanted
by Val Kilmer’s big evil corporation. They then inexplicably
try to kill him and he goes on the run, assisted by messages
in his head. It all becomes a bit of a mess after that, a bit
Matrix, a bit Bourne, without any of the good qualities. Pretty much all I can recommend
about it is Val Kilmer’s what I can only hope is a wig, and Cuba Gooding Jr.’s hilarious
confused/”Nooooo!” acting. Also a head explodes in the first minute. What’s funny is I
wanted to trash Thirst as I’m so sick of vampires, and I thought a good fun Val Kilmer
action movie would be the perfect cure. Go rent Hard Boiled instead.
*****
RECOMMENDATIONS
With the final season of Lost starting soon catching up on previous seasons is always
good for a laugh. Call me crazy, I miss Boone. Also new out are Adventureland and
(500) Days of Summer, both great romances with comedy and truth to them. Mega
Shark Vs. Giant Octopus is nowhere near as good as you think it’ll be, The Hurt Locker
so much more. Or do yourself a favour, as well as Val Kilmer, and get Kiss Kiss Bang
Bang. He kisses Robert Downey Jr.. *****
by Jonathan Wilson
Whatever Works
This film just doesn’t work. In parts, it has itself believing it’s
a romance-driven story, in others it appears to be a barely
cohesive fable about how life sets itself in an order we are
not meant to stand in the way of.
Larry David plays the part of Boris Yellnikoff, a previously
suicidal pessimist who seems to be a less aggressive version
of his famous small-screen character Larry David, of the hit
US show Curb Your Enthusiasm. His rants are altogether
more intelligently pieced together but as the film strolls
along – seemingly unaware that it’s even supposed to be
a professional production given the standard of script and
shoddy acting – the long-winded and ever so tiresome
monologues begin to wear thin. Whether it’s the fact that
the recipients are one-dimensional simpletons with little to
no actual personality nor ability to be offended, or that Boris
plays across from Southern yokel Melody who doesn’t seem
to show emotion or common sense, the power of the rants
and the dialogue itself lacks the brilliance of Curb’s opposing
characters, each of whom display a comic hostility which
makes them so endearing and Larry David a much more
loveable and stupendous character.
The film itself doesn’t seem to know what it wants to tell the
audience. Boris will often speak to the camera as if confiding
in the faithful understanding of the cinema audience, letting
us in on how he feels about certain characters at points in
the film. The problem is, we don’t care about the characters
nor the plot which seems to throw bizarre scenarios at the
audience and expects them to shrug their shoulders and
continue watching.
The love-story plot lacks any credence or realism; characters
are introduced on a whim and seemingly require little to no
background information, whilst those who should be taken
aback by sequential plot points appear to not give a damn.
We are expected to believe that a 20-something year old
would happily settle down with a 50 year old at the drop of
a hat, regardless of his grouchy attitude towards her and his
habit of spewing nothing but derogatory remarks her way.
When a new man enters her life – quite where he came from
we truly don’t know – she is all too happy to forget she was
ever married to Boris in the first place, dismissing her deep-
rooted traditional values of staying true to one’s husband,
instead sleeping with the next man to speak to her.
For a film written and devised by Woody Allen, Whatever
Works lacks the wit and sharp attributes which have made
his back catalogue classic works. However, here we find an
outdated film presumably set in present day but possessing
the mindset of a 1940s love story gone wrong. The values
at work don’t suit the hustle and bustle of New York City,
the characters lack any real personality or genuine emotion
and the dialogue reinforces the confusion of the mixture
of supposed eras. The only saving grace – but one which
does nothing to actually save the film any blushes – is the
inclusion of Boris’ smart one-liners which add an element of
dry humour amongst a backdrop of boredom, archaic beliefs
and a surprisingly lacking piece of work.
by James Stansfeld

Directed by: Jason Reitman
Cast: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna
Kendrick
Up In The Air is the darling of film critics these days
in the run up to the Academy Awards, with many of
them calling it variations of “a funny, witty comedy”.
A film that’s “right on time, as the recession is on”.
I honestly do not understand how a film about a
guy who fires people for a living called be ‘comedy’
by any yardstick.
The problem with Up In The Air is that it simply
doesn’t bring up anything new at all, nor does it
bring up anything we know of in an interesting way. It
doesn’t particularly surprise you or move you in any
way whatsoever. The plot is extremely predictable
and not once does it ever spring a surprise upon
you.
42
Up In The Air
Anna Kendrick’s fake acting is terrible enough to
earn her a position on the list of ‘Closest Thing
Humanity Has To Android Actors’, right up there with
Hayden Christensen and Daniel Radcliffe. The only
saving grace is George Clooney, who tries his best
to save this film from crash-landing. It’s only in the
last fifteen minutes or so of the movie that it has
some substance in it; when Clooney’s character is
coming to terms with the fact that rethinking his
way of living doesn’t work out for him.
Up In The Air is nothing more than a chick flick
masquerading as a highbrow “witty commentary
of the times we live in”. Awkward interactions
between humans does not necessarily equate to
a good film.
*****
by Ankur Banerjee

Away We Go
From director Sam Mendes (American Beauty, Revolutionary Road)
comes this bohemian guide to parenting – a film which does its best
to tug on the heartstrings and present the morals which so many
first time parents find hard to establish and implement themselves.
The film takes us on a journey across the United States as we join
parents-to-be Burt and Verona attempt to decide just how they’re going
to raise their child in a New Age and contemporary America. The very
idea of being pregnant comes as a shock to Verona (Maya Rudolph),
but when she and Burt (John Krasinski) decide to keep the child they
suddenly start questioning just how they would approach parenthood in a
world full of mixed messages of sex, marriage and how to raise children.
Along their journey, the couple come across childhood and college
friends – each of whom has their own history and their own methods
of raising their children. Of those, they meet a couple who effectively
disown their offspring and distance themselves where possible, an overly
bohemian couple who follow a hippy lifestyle, a husband and wife who
cannot conceive and so chose to adopt a quartet and give them the lives
previously deemed impossible, and the final chapter - a recently divorced
father who cherishes everything his daughter does and stands for in his life.
Whilst the messages played to the audience are obvious and simply play up
existing stereotypes, it’s the relationship between Burt and Verona which
moulds the film together. Their encounters with the different couples reflect in
them what they need to understand and appreciate in order to better the life
of their unborn child, Burt’s brother proving in particular a poignant reminder
that the child is more important than any indifferences between the parents.
Where Away We Go excels is in its simplified presentation. There is rarely a
scene which overwhelms and whilst the stereotypes put forth to the audience
are at times unnecessary, there is a certain quality about the subtle tragedies
behind each chapter that brings the film above what would normally be a
pedestrian piece. There are definite similarities between this and Revolutionary
Road in that they both share a frank sense of reality which soon dawns on the
audience, but that aside, this is a novel and refreshing piece from Mendes.
*****
by James Stanfield

The Princess and the Frog (U)

Finally, an animation that does not involve 3D glasses! It is a tall order these days to just warrant an animated film
in good old-fashioned, rich, immersive 2D. This may sound quaint, but watching The Princess and the Frog just
reminds you how valuable hand-drawn animation is.

The story is based on the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale of ‘The Frog Prince’. A voodoo curse is conjured upon
a prince, which turns him into a frog. In order to break the spell he has to kiss a princess, which he mistakes for
an African-American girl named Tiana. After Tiana kisses the frog prince, she herself turns into a frog and both are
lost in the bayou.

The film is pretty archaic and nonetheless harmless. It seems unfair to weigh it up against such 3D animations
like Up (which is obviously more appealing and superior). However, no matter how lightweight and procedural the
whole narrative arc is, it is amiable enough to pass a good Saturday afternoon. I would certainly endorse the film
for hand drawn 2D animation alone.

*****
by Ollie Sim
 43
The Hurt Locker
Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow
Cast: Jeremy Renner, Anthony Mackie, Brian Geraghty,
Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes
The rush of battle is a potent and often lethal
addiction, for war is a drug.
– Chris Hedges
The Hurt Locker begins with this quote from war
correspondent Chris Hedges. One could be forgiven for
anticipating that the film to follow will be a glorification
of war with the kind of slow-motion footage of army
soldiers that Michael Bay has championed. Indeed, film
critics have even come up with a cute little (and often
overused) term for it – ‘war porn’.
iconic dialogue. What The Hurt Locker is is a snapshot of
what life is for military personnel who aren’t necessarily
fighting on the front-line, and yet face mortal peril each
day of their job. And how diffusing bombs in real life
isn’t about nervously deciding to “cut the red wire or
the green wire” while a clock ticks down “ten seconds
to detonation”.
What really makes the film stand out is how understated
the acting is. Jeremy Renner’s performance as the
maverick head of the bomb diffusal team who acts in
ways others consider reckless, and yet still portraying
the character as a human being who is just trying to get
the job done, is stellar. The plot is very much character-
driven, and it works because the characters are ones
you can believe in.

And yet, that is precisely the sort of depiction that the *****
film stays away from. It isn’t an intense battle movie,
like Black Hawk Down was, nor does it have much by Ankur Banerjee

Have you seen a good film lately?

Let us know at:
filmdeskstag@gmail.com
Avatar (12A)
Avatar is an object lesson in how style cannot outclass substance. It does not eyed James Cameron’s
matter much now because Avatar has smashed the record for the highest narrative capability is.
grossing film of all time. It is as critic-proof as you are going to get this year or
any other year. James Cameron certainly does not have to worry. So first of all, see it in the
biggest screen you can
The film takes place in the future on a fictional planet called Pandora. The with full quality surround
army are hauled in from Earth in order to “obtain” a valuable resource on sound. Secondly, don’t
Pandora, aptly named “unobtanium”. In order to level the area, they need to bring a watch. The film
evict the inhabitants called the Na’vi. In order to do so, they send in avatars is a hundred minutes
of a select group of military personnel and scientists. too long. But most of all
try and find a showing in
If you want to enjoy Avatar to its fullest extent, you need to wipe the synopsis 2D. Visually, it is a treat,
from your memory bank. Avatar is a visual showcase and that just about but there was no time
describes all that is good about it. Once you get past the breathtaking awe in Avatar where I felt
of Pandora, you are going to have to darn well struggle to find anything else 3D was essential. One
good. does not need to get the
‘immersive’ experience,
The problem is that James Cameron can do images, but he cannot get a grasp by putting on sunglasses.
on a proper story without condescending. Constantly we are given intervals
where Giovanni Ribisi has to explain that in order to obtain the “unobtainium”, *****
they have to level that big tree. James, you can stop now, we know.
by Ollie Sim
Avatar is a stunning achievement in visual spectacle, but it is baggy, overlong,
and steeped in pomposity. I have to admit, it is a shame. It did exceed my
expectations for the first hour, but when I left reserved my judgement for a couple
of days it did occur to me how annoyingly empty it is. In the end, I cannot take
its eco-allegory seriously, nor its invasion of a foreign land for an “unobtainable”
source. Calling that rich source ‘unobtainium’ is enough to tell you how sloppy
 44
Literature Get those creative juices flowing....
Are you creative?
Do you enjoy writing?
Would you like to publish a short story?
Get in touch!
literaturedeskstag@gmail.com
Centenarians...Now They Have Got A Story To Tell!

Living over one hundred years may
seem like a daunting prospect,
but as Professor Tina Koch
revealed in her public lecture on
UK and Australian centenarians*,
those who tackle the challenge
do so with a strong will and, more
often than not, a great sense of
humour.
There are nearly 12,000 people
aged 100 and over living in the UK,
and more than 2,400 in Australia,
but despite the fascination
this age group has received
elsewhere, neither country
has given it much recognition.
However, after witnessing the
depersonalisation ageism caused
within the medical community,
Professor Koch decided to try
and alter the stereotype that
the elderly were not interesting
individuals. What better way than
to tell their stories?
And boy, did they have some
stories! From working in the
mines, to pinching future spouses
on the bum, everyone interviewed
had a memory to share. 100th
birthday celebrations were a
favourite topic; festivities ranged
from ordering 100 balloons to
requesting a new wardrobe, and
always included a letter from the
Queen.
Also, despite the general
consensus that there was no
hidden secret to living longer,
there were a few overlapping
recommendations, such as
eating healthily, working hard and
keeping friends and family close.
Dancing proved effective (another
excuse to go to Rubix) as did
Tai-Chi, because of the positive
effects they have on balance and
flexibility.
That said, living to such a
grand old age is not without its
difficulties, as these centenarians
will tell you. Koch’s interviews
revealed the inconvenience
arthritis and loss of eyesight
caused in their day to day life, but
many saw it as just that – a minor
inconvenience. With over half the
UK centenarians researched living
independently or with a family
member, their determination to
maintain a positive outlook on life
was clear.
What resonated with me most by
the end of the lecture was how
easily years of experience could
have been lost if Professor Koch
and her research team – Professor
Pam Smith, Dr Nimmie Hutnik
and Rose Turner – didn’t take
the time to sit down and have
these conversations. Regardless
how daunting the age gap may
seem, you never know what story
someone may be waiting to tell
until you ask.
by Eunice Njagi
* This was the first in a series of
public lectures led by Tina Koch
on Storytelling taking place in
LTM. The next lecture will be held
on Wednesday 10th February,
and it will be an event you won’t
want to miss! The project ‘Talking
with 24 centenarians is being
continued at the University,
and centenarians are still being
actively recruited. Anyone wishing
to participate in the study should
call 078793 51704.
 45

I still cling to
the memory of us
Your arms held me and I couldn’t breath
Your lips kissed me and I didn’t need to
you
Your eyes saw me and I couldn’t leave
Because under their gaze I was beautiful
The world was on fire when we were
together
Word
There are some words that when you say them, you feel
them. Now I’m not saying FRESH is an onomatopoeic tool...
but for me it is. Fresh! Just saying it out loud, doesn’t it
make you feel rejuvenated, like you want to stretch out and
Of
skip? It’s a fresh new year, and a chance to start afresh.
Maybe try a detox and get rid of the Christmas junk, in my
case only to make more room for Easter. It’s a fresh term
The
at Uni, so today breathe in the fresh air and make the
most of this fresh day. As for me, I’m off to get a tall glass
of fresh lemonade, yummy!

Moment
And with every touch, the air burned.
Laura Bright
by Danielle Asante

James Allman’s literary review, innit

What up. Me name is James Allman. Cause I is ALL
MAN… and me name is James. The other day I was
thinking about all the great works of literature and a
passion suddenly gripped me, a need to share my
knowledge with the world. Oh and I saw a proper fit
bird and thought that she’d be well impressed if she
thought I was all into books and shit. So yeah here
are some reviews of books that I has/hasn’t read.
Sorted
Romeo and Juliet
by Will Shakespeares
‘Romeo and Juliet’ is a book by Will Shakespeares.
He is proper famous, and did sumthin with Doctor
Who at Christmas. My mum saw it and she said it
was good. Before he did the thing with Doctor Who he
was doing ‘Romeo and Juliet’. I haven’t read the book
but I has seen the film and it is basically the same,
but with more pictures. So what it is yeah there is like
Leonardo Di Caprio is going to this house party with
the bloke from ‘Lost’ who is a tranny, but a tranny with
pills. So Leonardo Di Caprio takes loads of pills, to
get off his head and finds a girl, I donno what she is
off but I think she is in that film which I haven’t seen.
Anyway they get off with each other and stare a fish
bowl for like ages cause she likes fish or something.
But see the thing is not everything is them shagging
and staring at fish tanks, no cause her brother, the
dwarf from Moulin Rouge, has grown and is proper
angry! I donno what he is angry about cause in the
film they is all speakin gibberish, I think they is all
Welsh or something. So the dwarf brother man is like
given Leonardo Di Caprio gip about the Titanic sinking
or something so Leonardo Di Caprio’s shoot’s him in
the head. Cause Leonardo Di Caprio has murdered
the ex-dwarf man he is sent, not to jail but to live in a
caravan, as that’s properly what they do in Wales. So
yeah Leonardo Di Caprio is in a caravan and then his
girlfriend sends a postman out to tell him to meet her
at a church, because they don’t have mobile phones
in Wales. Anyway Leonardo stops off to pick up these
E’s from a man but that makes him late. So when
he get’s there she’s like asleep, so he falls asleep,
and then she wakes up and see’s him, moans, about
him sleeping I think, for a bit then falls asleep… so
they’re both asleep. In conclusion ‘Romeo and Juilet’
is good, so props to Will Shakespeares on that, but
not is as good as like ‘Skins’ or something like that.
So, better luck next time Will Shakespeares!
1984
by George Orwell
My mate said this was a proper good book so I read it,
well when I said read it I mean I read a bit of it. I said
to my mate that the bloke who wrote it was that Ice
skater bloke. But he said that was Torvill and Dean,
not Orwell and Dean. That may affect my review as I
kept expecting Ice skating and there wasn’t any, so I
was well disappointed… Anyway this book is proper
weird! It’s set in 1984 and the people just sit around
watching Big Brother in this cinema place, I didn’t
even know big Brother was on back then! Yeah but it’s
well different as well cause in the normal big brother
it’s proper interesting cause of all the gays and fit
birds, but in this one it’s just one bloke talking! I mean
WTF? The main bloke in the story he thinks, there’s
no fit birds on big brother so I’m gonna get myself a fit
bird, but when he does get a fit bird, he gets arrested
cause he got off with a fit bird. That is well sexist! But
I learnt a lot about history as in 1984 everyone’s gay
or something as there’s no fit birds in Big Brother and
getting off with fit birds is illegal. So yeah bet 1984
was proper shit to live in.
Avatar
by the Man who did Titanic properly Will
Shakspeares
I donno if there’s a book about it but there is a film
and it is proper wicked!!!! It’s about all these men
who are blue and have guns!!! As I said it is proper
wicked!!!!1
Brokeback Mountain
by Heath Ledger
Right yeah I know there’s a film about it, but there is
also a book also cause I has seen it in the book section
in Tesco and I has read the front cover. So yeah like it’s
about the Joker from Batman and Donnie Darko, they
really enjoy camping all the time but their girlfriends
don’t like camping so they divorce them at the end.
But my mate said they were gay and it’s all about
being gay?! WTF!?!? They weren’t gay they just really
enjoy camping and how can they be gay if they have
girlfriends?!?! That’s impossible like against science
or Jesus or something!? The story is sort of like what
happens before the Joker becomes the Joker. Like
before he tried to kill Batman and let his mum do his
make up, he used to wear cowboy hats and talked
like Forest Gump. So yeah in conclusion it’s is well
worth a read and has nothing to do with gays.
Crime and Punishment
by Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The people at The Stag said I should read this book,
but I didn’t cause it is well big and written by a Welsh
bloke. Though I can guess as it’s called ‘Crime and
Punishment’ it’s about like Crime and… Punishment,
so its properly a cop thing like ‘24’ or Beverly Hills
Cop’. In fact as it is written in like 1866 it’s properly
the thing ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ is based on. So I bet if
you like ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ or any of the other Eddie
Murphy movies like ‘The Nutty Professor’, ‘Sherk’ or
‘The Nutty Professor 2’ then you’ll properly like ‘Crime
and Punishment’ by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
Pride and Prejudice
by Keria Knightly
I really liked this book cause Keria Knightly is well fit
and I has a thing for posh people. I like the message
of the book, that like yeah people in other poor parts
of Britain is like starving and dying like Oliver twist,
but it don’t matter cause Keria Knightly is wearing in
a corset and is trying to get off with David Cameron.
Sorted.
That comes to the end of my reviews. If you likes
the way roll then do send me more stuff to review,
but do bear in mind, while I is a lover of great works
of literature, I have a very busy nightly schedule of
getting wasted and staring at girls, in that order, innit.
I may be able to read your stuff during the day but I is
usually hungover and playing Call Of Duty then.
James Allman

The Fox
As I wait amongst the trees of this
striking trail, I notice a sparkling of yellow
amid the shrubs. Amazing; seeing my first
fox, to me, is like seeing a phoenix or a
griffin. I keep deadly still, my eyes lock on
to hers, and we exchange a piercing gaze.
The orange marvel is the first to break
contact; for a moment she cranes her neck
towards the stars and releases a long,
shrill cry, like the sound of a screaming
woman. She stops without warning and
stares at me once more; somehow I
sense an expression of purpose, of intent.
Gradually, she edges forward, not directly,
but with snakelike weaving through the
grass. Her magnificent bushy tail – a brush,
I think it’s called – moves elegantly from
side to side, waving in tandem with her
slender body; the effect of this beautiful
creature, in a star-filled night, approaching
me in between a trail of sycamore’s is
mesmerising. I feel hypnotised by the
sheer majesty of this wondrous being.
Always she keeps my gaze, growing in
confidence as she steps ever closer.
There are only about ten metres between
us now and my heart is pounding, trying
to escape the enclosure of my ribs; eight
metres and I feel a sense of connection
like never before; six metres and I know
now that this connection is nothing other
than love; five and I feel bound to this
creature through awe and love and now
I know that I must have her, she is mine
and I am hers; three metres and our sense
of oneness is overwhelming, as I see in
her eyes too, that she feels this sense
of togetherness just as much as I; one
metre and in one swift movement I reach
for the neck of the fox, whilst grasping, in
my pocket, our binding tool and cut her
throat before she can let out a scream.
Now she – oh, wait, it’s a he, how strange
– now he is mine forever; mine and mine
only. But hush now, the time for my true
deed has come, as I can finally see my
lady, just a speck at the moment, running
along the trail.
by Bhavan Aujla
46
Father The Perfect Prescription for
Winter Blues
by Shervin Hejazi In the cold wintry days and nights of February
there’s not much to do, especially when snowed
in, as in recent weeks. Right now, there’s an even
greater need to take a break to balance out the
stress of exams and deadlines. The ideal method
Father, Father of relaxation is therefore to curl up in front of
the fire, on a nice plush sofa with a warm cup of
Who is mine Father? tea (all a dream mind you; no such luxuries on
campus accommodation!) and read a good book.
He who feeds and give me What better way is there to spend the evening?
But, I hear you cry, which novel should I choose?
warmth Why, Dickens of course!
Or he who gloats and shines Set in the imaginary Coketown, Hard Times is an
from afar? eye-opening tale about the suffering of factory
workers that will keep you hooked while you wait
out this chilly season. The protagonist Ceclia
I choose the latter to Jupe, the daughter of a poor clown, fights against
confess the regime of education instilled by tyrannical
schoolmaster Thomas Gradgrind. The children are
That tonight, I have sinned: taught “nothing but facts” – for “facts alone are
wanted in life”. In Dickens’ created model of a
contrived society this represents what can happen
A great, dark sin if human creativity is contained and lost, and
reading it will rejuvenate any creative passion you
One blind to the eye, may have lost over the holidays.
Unholy in all forms Hard Times isn’t the most well known of Dickens’
works, since most people associate Dickens with
Warm to the touch the pomp and swagger of Victorian Britain, or with
moral tales of redemption like with our favourite
Ebenezer Scrooge. However, though this was his
But damp to the paw typical style, it belies the fact that Dickens was a
hard working member of the lower classes who
With the devil’s liquor fought his way to the top of literary fame. Hard
Times is more symbolic of this; Dickens taking a
To temptation I’ve been led stand against the utilitarian working conditions of
the time, and writing against the industrial cities
But I, Father, do not ask for with their “interminable serpents of smoke”.
forgiveness So whether you’re wrapped up in your duvet or
using a screensaver as a substitute fireplace –or
Nor do I gleam about an both – Hard Times is what you should be reading.
excuse And if you don’t like, then sir, I call you a scrooge
(or more appropriately a Gradgrind!).
I merely ask that you accept by Daniel Pilgrim
My holy dysfunction; my
Awesome digression; of
Seeking eternity, that
I am, majorly
defeated.
 OPENING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 08.00AM - 11.00PM
SATURDAY 10.00AM - MIDNIGHT
SUNDAY 11.00AM - 11.00PM
FOOD SERVING TIMES
MONDAY TO FRIDAY 08.00AM - 8.30PM
SATURDAY 10.00AM - 7.30PM
SUNDAY 10.00AM - 7.30PM

Mad Monday!
Monday Night | Monday Madness Thursday Night | Open Mic
Special Drink Deals and Promotions
Monday Madness mixes up a concoction of lots of drinks deals
along with Channies famous cocktails. It may be a Monday, but it is
every Monday
The hugely popular Open Mic night kicks off around 8pm with a mix of
original stuff and covers hosted by Alistair Cowan. The floor is yours

Night, and Friday todon’t forget to catch

THE place to come for some tunes and promos before you head into
town. Why wait until relax? Begin your week like you mean the DUSK
to bring your ownbus
to show off your musical talent and there is a house guitar available,
or you are welcome instruments. Make sure you get
to end it! here early as it gets packed out!

Tuesday Night | Chancellors’ Challenge

& Comedy Night (Alternate Tuesdays)
Chancellors
Friday Night |Sunday
Pre flirt! drinks Roasts

Choose
Come and test your brains at Chancellors Challenge. Not just for
from Chicken, Beefbefore oryouNut.
Make sure you start the weekend at the best bar on campus and in
Guildford! Chancellors is the place for pre-flirting head

All served
egg heads, but it helps! Hosted by our able quizmasters you have
the chance to win cash, free entry to Rubix and many other prizes.
with
You have trimmings for just £4.95
upstairs to Rubix! Make sure you come down early as it will be busy.
been warned!

Alternate Tuesdays you’ll find Comedy Nights here with some of the
best names in comedy from the London circuit and the Edinburgh
Fringe Festival.
£1.50 Specials
Sunday Night | Poker Nights
Challenge your peers in a game of deceit and intrigue every other
Sunday night. It’s £5.50 buy in, so make sure you bring your poker

The
Wednesday Night | Pre Citrus drinks new afternoon
face along as well as your money!

Meal Deals. Served from

All events and timings are subject to change.
Midweek shennaigans starts in full flow with live DJ’s and an
expansive drinks menu. Channies is the perfect meeting place
so make sure you get here early before it is jam packed!
3-5pm Monday to Friday
Chancellors.
HOW TO ORDER FOOD
Not for profit, just for students.
All day breakfasts
Find a table & note its
number | Place your
order at the bar | Pay &
Your Students’ Union is a charity, therefore all the profit it makes through
Chancellors goes back into funding sports clubs and equipment, societies
and cultural events, student media, development and professional training ,
Served on Saturday from 10am.
keep your receipt | Your
order will be brought to
welfare and representation and everything else that is Union led!

Just what
your table. Thank you.
youyour need money back into to kick start
So next time you dine or drink here, give yourself a pat on the back as you
have recycled providing better facilities the day!
for students
here. Well done and thank you all!

Takeaway
Now all of your food
can be ordered and
taken away to your
desk or halls anytime
during serving times.
What could be more
convenient for you!
 48

Surrey Storm 2009 - 2010

Co-operative Netball Superleague Fixtures

Date

Thu 07 Jan
Time

8pm
Opposition

Mavericks (H)
Tickets now available
www.surreystormnetball.co.uk
Sat 16 Jan 3pm Leeds Carnegie (H) Box Office 01483 443333
Fri 29 Jan 8pm Team Bath (H)

Sat 30 Jan 3.30pm Team Northumbria (H)

Thu 11 Feb 8pm L’boro Lightning (H)

Sat 20 Mar 3.30pm Celtic Dragons (H)

Sat 10 Apr 6pm Glasgow Wildcats (H)

Ticket Prices
Matchday tickets:
Adults: £7.95
Juniors and Students: £4.95
Season Tickets:
Adults: £51
Junior: £31
Family (2 adults 2 juniors): £160

Support your local team at Guildford Spectrum

For more information on ticket prices and
how to book online, plus all the latest news
and gossip visit our website:
www.surreystormnetball.co.uk

Fixtures correct at time of publication and subject to change.

Visit www.surreystormnetball.co.uk for the latest information.

2558-1209 Surrey Stag Surrey Storm Netball Fixtures Advert.indd 1 08/12/2009 11:23
 49
Barclaycard Premiership Under-Rated XI
by David Holt Left Midfield
Andy Reid – Sunderland
Open any newspaper or magazine or visit any sports website and you Narrowly beating out Matt Taylor to the left midfield slot is a man who
will have been flooded with “South American Team of the Decade”, may never be a world class player, and probably won’t ever star for
“European Team of the Year” and, the most frustrating and repetitive a Champion’s League side, but there are few players who can make
one of all, “Premiership Team of the Decade”. Every football fan has an the difference that Reid and his left foot can for mid-table Premiership
opinion on any one of these teams, and to try and offer an alternative, clubs.
let us take a look at who I feel would make it in to my team of players
who don’t get the credit they deserve. Centre Midfield
Danny Murphy – Fulham
Goalkeeper The last of three Fulham players to make the team, which shows how
Mark Schwarzer – Fulham far they have come since Roy Hodgson took over (who, incidentally,
It seems like there are only two kinds of goalkeepers these days – those would be my pick to manage this team). You rarely see Murphy put a
who are beloved by all and then those who don’t deserve praise. Ful- foot wrong, he distributes the ball well, works hard, isn’t afraid to get
ham’s Ozzie keeper is one of the few exceptions, where you can see stuck in and can stand up and take control when he is needed. He’s
a consistently top notch goalkeeper do his job without the kind of love unfortunate to never have quite turned it on enough to get a chance in
that Friedel or Given get. the England squad.

Right Back Centre Midfield

Luke Young – Aston Villa Lee Cattermole – Wigan
Young has been unlucky throughout his career, having to restart his Perhaps the most rated of the players in this team, but still without the
career as a right back following a series of shaky displays through the attention he deserves. His combative style and ability to sweep up in
middle for Spurs, and subsequently been stuck behind the dead-cert front of the back four makes him one of Sunderland’s most influential
right back for England, be it Neville, Richards or Johnson. players. There is a reason why Steve Bruce paid £6 to bring him in and
there can surely be no doubt that he is good enough to step it up an
Left Back even higher level.
Leighton Baines – Everton
The newest challenger to Denis Irwin’s “Mr Reliability” title, Baines has Striker
made a career out of being solid and dependable at the back. Has Kevin Davies – Bolton
never seemed to have moved beyond third choice in the race for the There are just some players in football who will never get credit for what
England number 3 shirt but can certainly be trusted when needed. they do. Kevin Davies seems to be one of them. Not exactly a prolific
goalscorer, but neither is Emile Heskey and he’s an England regular.
Centre Back Holds the ball up well and is fantastic at winning free kicks, which is in-
Roger Johnson – Birmingham valuable for a team like Bolton who are such a threat from dead balls.
Johnson had a fair few eyes on him after some fantastic displays at
the back for Cardiff in the Championship and has proven himself as Striker
Premiership quality in his first year in the top flight. Birmingham’s excel-
Hugo Rodallega – Wigan
lent form over Christmas had a lot to thank the sturdy defence for, and You don’t seem to ever know what you will get from Rodallega. Some
probably no-one had more to do with that than Johnson. weeks he can look like a fish out of water, but when he is on, he is ca-
pable of moments of genius, like his wonder strike against Aston Villa at
Centre Back the start of the season. There are plenty of skilful yet unreliable strikers
Aaron Hughes – Fulham through all levels of English football, but Rodallega will get you goals
Reading the newspapers you would think that Brede Hangeland played and there aren’t many who can do that.
in defence of his own for Fulham. Sure, he’s a great player but we see
time and time again that one player can’t manage alone and Aaron Substitutes
Hughes is about as under-rated as you can get for someone who plays Brian Jensen – Burnley; Scott Dann – Birmingham; James Tomkins –
as consistently as he does West Ham; Matt Taylor – Bolton; Allesandro Diamanti – West Ham;
Christian Benitez – Birmingham; Andrey Voronin – what, did you think
Right Midfield just because he’s left I’m going to leave him alone?
Steven Pienaar – Everton
While hardly going unnoticed, Steven Pienaar has strangely seen his Is there anyone you would have liked to see make this team,
stock fall slightly from his first loan spell on loan at Everton, but the anyone you think is too highly rated to make it in or some-
South African winger has shown glimpses that he is back to his best one you think is unrated for a reason? Email your thoughts to
this season, particularly during Everton’s 2-0 over Manchester City in sportsdeskstag@gmail.com
January.

Sports Park ‘Will Have To Prove Worth’
With the all new Surrey Sports Park due to open on the 19th April at
a cost of a whopping £36 million it’s quickly becoming the talk of the
campus, yet it seems that many are still not sure on what the park will
be able to offer. Over the next few months we will be venturing in to a
more detailed analysis of what to make of the new Sports Park, but to
start the build up to the opening David Holt spoke with Chris Moffat,
VP Sports and Recreation to see his views on it, as well as how he has
found university sport over the last few months.
Hi Chris. Firstly, are you pleased with how sports are coming
along at the university this year?
After issues at the start with delays in kit distribution from Nike, most
clubs have settled into the swing of fixtures and training. I have high
hopes for all our teams in their leagues and those who still remain in
their cups.
Sure. How is the sports park looking at the moment?
The last time I went to look around the sports park was a while before
Christmas and it was beginning to look amazing, the pool especially.
Since then I’ve only been able to see glimpses from the A3 when re-
turning to Guildford from home. I’m told that the keys get passed over
to the sports centre staff in a few weeks so they can start their training
in the new building. You can find pictures of the pool, gym and sports
halls on its Facebook fan page.
 
What facilities will be open to students?
As far as I know all facilities will be open to students, perhaps exclud-
ing the janitors closet and other staff only areas.
Will people from outside the university be using the facili-
ties?
There will be external members using the facilities as well as alumni
and residents. I would like to take this opportunity to correct rumours
sportsdeskstag@gmail.com
50
that students subsidise external members. It is by far the other way
round with external members paying far higher prices than students.
This is the way it should be and will remain because they are student
facilities.
Is there any truth to the talk of the Sports Park being used
for training for the 2012 Olympic Games?
I have heard this rumour. Although I have heard nothing officially, just
searching 'Surrey Sports Park Olympics bid' online will find you several
articles proclaiming its use in the London 2018 bid.
Will you get to use much of the facilities yourself?
I hope to use the facilities a lot. I use the current facilities quite often,
but find it too crowded during peak times. Hopefully with more space
and a greater variety of things to do I will spend more time there than
I do already.
I know that a few students are a bit bothered by the price of
£195 for membership, as well as £80 for sports club mem-
bership, and £10 for each sport you wish to join after that,
even if your team won't be using the facilities. How comes
the new sports park comes at such a price?
This is the controversial issue of the new decade. The way I see it is the
Sports Park will have to prove its worth. This will be in terms of the stu-
dents’ experience, corporate profit and raising the profile of the univer-
sity. It will need to reach a sum of money each year to be sustainable;
I think that £195 a high price but not too much. Of course it is a rise
on last year’s price, but what do people expect with the considerable
investment made by the university. There are two angles I can see;
• Have more external members to subsidise the students, al-
though this will mean the facilities are more crowded and less time
and space for students.
• Increase the price of student membership and cap the number
of external members. This gives more use of facilities but would equate
to a huge membership price, well outside any students budget.
What we are left with is a compromise, which allows moderate facil-
ity use for a very reasonable price. If your team won’t be using the
facilities and you have only bought the sports club membership, that
money is returned to the Students’ Union and is factored into the
year’s budget and grants pot.
Okay, sure. Finally, if people wish to contact you about any-
thing sports related, what is the best way to do this?
Via email is probably the best: ussu.sports@surrey.ac.uk
Thanks for your time.
What do you make of Chris’ views on the new Sports Park?
Are you excited about the prospect of using it, or are you put
off by the price? Email your thoughts to sportsdeskstag@
gmail.com
 51
Homage To A Little Master
He is the greatest cricketer to ever wear the colours of his home coun- at an average of over 111 over three test matches.
try. He is quite possibly the greatest cricketer to ever step into a crick-
eting arena. He is the most globally known, globally loved and globally Not only is he dedicated, but he’s also very grounded. In a recent inter-
analysed cricketer to ever walk the face of the Earth. He is Sachin view, when asked how he was able to stay humble in the face of such
Ramesh Tendulkar. success so young, he answered that his father taught him to let other
people talk about a past match if they wanted to, but it was up to him
Sachin Tendulkar is more than just a cricketer, a sportsman, a competi- to concentrate on the next match. He was brought up knowing he was
tor: he is more than a motivator, a role model, or an example of a true talented, but to respect the talent within him and be grateful for it.
humble nature – he is an ideal. He is what the cricketing world believes
as cricketing perfection (or as close to perfection that anyone can be- Sachin Tendulkar is a genius by all accounts; he really is a master of the
come without ever actually reaching it). Every stroke of his bat and flick game. He is one of those rare players who are so good who can pick a
of his wrist and movement of his feet is such that to try and copy it ball so early that he already has more than one shot he could play for
would be to reach his standard of cricket, which is, of course, impos- that ball in his mind. Watching him play is like watching… watching…
sible; greatness like Sachin Tendulkar only comes around once every seeing an explosion of the most magnificent bold colours surround you,
century or so (and that’s being kind to the next potential ‘great one’). In until you become part of the this outburst of beautiful chaos and fly
2009 the Little Master made it twenty years as an international crick- through the air on a giant, graceful swallow whilst sweet music caresses
eter and still counting, and what a fabulous twenty years it has been. your ears and the energy of the world encompasses your body until
you just can’t… sorry, I got carried away, but when thinking of Sachin’s
I have grown up my whole life watching this man, who Sir Donald Brad- splendour, many people do.
man hailed as being of a similar batsman to himself, playing the most
beautiful cricket imaginable to a fanatic like myself. Every shot I watched Like I said, Sachin is the embodiment of an ideal: an ideal held by every
him play seemed to be etched into my memory in a little compartment cricket lover in the world, but more so by every Indian cricket lover in the
of my brain called the ‘Sachin Box’. It contains a wealth of his much world. I mean, we talk about him as if we were saying through our joy
revered back-foot punch past the bowler and a glorious array of pull- ‘… and did you know I’m actually related to him because he came to
ing and cutting, flicking and driving, aggression and class. It’s twenty Punjab once and I’m pretty sure I stepped on the same patch of earth
years on and, although it seems to be edging out all the knowledge I’ve that he did when walking towards Mohali stadium’ – ridiculous I know,
acquired in my academic life, I’m hoping that my already enormous but hey, we love him, as do the rest of the world. He is the ideal of the
‘Sachin Box’ will continue to grow for a few more years yet. flawless batsman, the perfect slip fielder, the complete cricketer. When
talking of Sachin you don’t remember when he got clean bowled by Al-
Over his twenty year career, Sachin has amassed 13,234 runs includ- lan Donald, or got out lbw by Monty Panesar (twice) because they didn’t
ing 45 centuries in 164 tests, and he’s scored more runs and test happen, because how can the perfect cricketing machine ever get out
centuries than any other player, ever. Not that I should give special at- to anyone, or ever drop a catch, or not be, well… perfect. Every cricket-
tention to the tests, as he’s played 440 ODI’s (a record for any player), ing fan knows that if every professional was as good as Sachin at what
scored 17,394 runs (also a record for any player ever), which includes they did then the sport would be one of the most beautiful spectacles in
45 centuries (and, well, yes, that is also a record for any player of all the world to watch (shush all you cricket haters), but then again, there
time) – remarkable for a man who only played with a cricket ball for the would be no-one special to ignite the spark that Sachin ignites; there
first time at the age of 11. These stats only provide back-up to what the would be nothing amazing about the truly extraordinary – in short, there
world already knows about this genius of the game. would be no Sachin Tendulkar as we know him today, and I don’t want
to live in a world where mere people, ordinary, common people, can
However, there’s more than just outright talent involved with his seem- refer to a genius, nay, a God, as ‘The Little Master’ and get away with it.
ingly exponential growth in success. Being able to achieve such lon- On behalf of every cricket lover everywhere, I would like to repeat what
gevity in the sport is an example of his true dedication to cricket. He the mega-famous Bollywood actor Mr Shahrukh Khan expressed in his
analyses every opposing team, every opposing player to discover their exaggerated and quite over zealous way to our Sachin, and that is that
weaknesses and to strengthen his own, if he has any at all. For in- ‘I would like to thank you [Sachin] from the bottom of my heart for al-
stance, for his preparation of the 1998 tests against Australia, he had a lowing us to breathe the same air as you do’.
number of spin bowlers bowl leg-break, around the wicket and into the
rough for him, so that he could analyse the angles that the ball would Bhavan Aujla
be arriving at him when facing Shane Warne. Subsequently, he scored

This is one of those games that you bury under ground for a million years and one Sunday someone digs it up

Sporting Insight of the Week

and says “Hmm… are these good players or the average ones?”

Steve Davis on the Semi-Final of the Masters Snooker Tournament match between Ronnie O’Sullivan and mark Williams
that finished 6-5.
 52
Stags Go Down At The First Hurdle
On the morning of the first BUCS tournament of the year news broke stumps, but Simon ‘Fielding God’ Coston produced the only moment of
that Tom ‘I’m Still Drunk’ Digby followed the USCC tradition of socialis- joy with a direct throw after some confusion between the batsmen to
ing the night before the year’s big indoor event, going a step better than add to his tight spell of bowling. However, it seemed the stags were a
Chris ‘Skipper for the Day’ Coombs managed last year by actually turn- good 20 or so runs short as Brunel cruised to a 5 wicket victory with a
ing up. Battling treacherous driving conditions, the troops finally made couple of over’s to spare. It was not the best bowling display the Stags
it to a local farm in the middle of nowhere with enough petrol thanks will show this year however there are positives to be taken from this
to a last minute stop on the M25. Arriving over an hour late, there was batting display.
shocking news that the first game wasn’t to be for another 3 hours, so
this allowed the team to get some well-earned rest after a hectic jour- After another wait it was Coombs’ job to lift the troops to face home
ney ‘up north’, and Digby a chance to sober up. side Hertfordshire University in a meaningless game as Brunel had al-
ready qualified from the group. The only change saw Woodgate coming
As kick off neared, Chris ‘Skipper for the Day’ Coombs arranged his into the team to replace a retiring Mark ‘Thank You for the Last Four
troops to give an inspirational team talk, quoting famous faces such as Years’ Service’ Crangle.
Lawrence Dallaglio. After an unbeaten start to the indoor season, the
Stags roped the changes with only Coombs, Stuart ‘I Can’t Help but Both Coombs and Tom ‘Now-Sober’ Digby helped themselves to some
Find the Middle of the Bat’ Warner, and Shoaib ‘I Only Know One Way’ average opening bowling before Chris ‘Supremo’ Coombs was the first
Khan keeping their places. Simon ‘Master of the Web’ Coston, Mark on a classy 25, with Digby retiring an over later. Warner and Coston were
‘Mental Arithmetic’ Crangle, and Tom ‘Sobering Up’ Digby made up the also making the most of the Hertfordshire bowling attack before Warner
rest of the line up for the first game against Brunel University. was bowled. Guy ‘This is my Big Chance’ Woodgate joined Coston at the
crease and played some suspicious shots before being trapped LBW.
The Stags got off to a good start with Coombs and Digby opening up to Coston was finally out on 21, meaning Coombs was called upon again
a strong bowling line up, finding the side walls many times in the first from the dugout. Shoaib was applying “The Shoaib Shot” to full ad-
few overs as boundaries were hard to come. Tom ‘Now Slightly Sober’ vantage reaching his way to 25. Coombs was eventually run out for an
Digby was first to fall to a decent Brunel bowler. This brought Warner to exhilarating 39. The Stags reached their way to 142-4 off the allotted
the crease and he put a 3-1 offside field to his advantage as he pep- 12 overs, the highest score of the day.
pered the side walls and hit a stunning on-drive for 4. Meanwhile Chris
‘I Don’t Get Out’ Coombs was plugging away playing some marvellous With Stuart ‘I’ve Got Better Places to be’ Warner abandoning the troops
shots on his way to retiring on 25 bringing Coston to the crease. Guy ‘I at the half way stage, Mark ‘You Haven’t Seen the Last of Me Yet’
Love to Socialise’ Woodgate was the unlucky member of the squad for Crangle was called upon to do some fielding. Simon ‘Full and Straight’
the first game, and was drowned in controversy on the sidelines when it Coston took the new ball ‘to mix things up a bit’ but the Hertfordshire
seemed Warner was already on 25 when given out. Coston held up the openers took a liking to a slower bowler opening up so Shoaib was
innings towards the end finding the gaps when possible retiring on 25. called upon to join the attack. Another moment of inspiration from
One ball later he reappeared from the dugout when Shoaib was given Digby brought the second run out of the day, however 3 balls later the
out, joining Coombs at the crease for the last over. After a few more majority of lights in the hall went off. Eventually the captains reached
runs, the Stags reached 119 all out. a decision to abandon the game, with the stags potentially ahead on
Duckworth-Lewis although the competition didn’t allow for these rules.
Shoaib had the honour of taking the new ball opening the bowling with
some tidy away swing, as the Stags swapped the bowling about with So the Stags ventured home, without reaching the dreams of progress-
the Brunel openers comfortably reaching 25 each. Skipper Coombs had ing to the next round. It was emotional, but they can go home with their
the batsmen in a trouble before releasing a “Woodgate” delivery result- heads held high.
ing in being hit for the only six of the day. Stuart ‘I Have No Faith in my
Keeping’ Warner was putting in another fine performance behind the by Simon Coston

Surrey Swimming and Waterpolo

Feeling the effects of over indulgent Christmas and New Year festivities?
Make a splash with the University of Surrey Swimming and Water Polo
club and shed the weight gain.
The Swimming and Water Polo Club is one of the fastest growing and
successful clubs tied to the University of Surrey due to its dedicated and
passionate committee and members. Currently training at the Guildford
Spectrum, the swimming and water polo teams compete throughout
the UK and will soon move to their new home at the Surrey Sports Park,
using the state of the art 50 meter Olympic-sized pool.
fitness are also encouraged to take a dip, adding a further dimension to
the University experience and point to their CV.
The club’s longest serving member, student and GU2 radio celebrity
Barney Fox described the club as “Brilliant!”, adding, “This club gives
every member a warm feeling of inclusion, pushes the boundaries of
success and turns the weakest of swimmers into a potential Michael
Phelps or Rebecca Adlington.” So if you’re looking to take the plunge,
be part of Surrey’s elite and get ripped or if you’re just looking for some-
thing a bit different join the Swimming and Water polo club.

For swimmers and water polo players looking to improve their technique Training is on a Monday, Thursday and Sunday evenings currently at the
or if you’re looking to compete, a coach has been appointed and start- Spectrum Leisure Centre with mini buses from Senate House. For more
ed on the 31stof January, aspiring to push the teams to a higher level. information contact ussu.swimandpolo@surrey.ac.uk.
However beginners and those who prefer to participate for leisure and
 53
Football Frenzy
The English Premier League is definitely the best league in the world. I
have three reasons for this – Arsenal, Chelsea and Manchester United.
Over the Christmas break the gunners found a run in form that took
them to the top of the Premier League. Despite missing Robin Van Per-
sie and Nicklas Bendtner a certain Spanish player known as Fabregas,
who is of course their captain, has been on fire fuelling the gunners’
attack. He now has 11 goals for the season and is their top scorer and
has had assistance from Eduardo, Denilson, and a reborn Rosicky who
was sidelined for months due to injury. Will the gunners finally bring
silverware to the emirates this season? Arsenal are now fighting on two
fronts after losing to Stoke 3-1 in the 4th Round of the F.A Cup.
Arsenal who were written off earlier on in the season as they were
more than seven points behind league leaders Chelsea, after a 3-0
loss, have found form and are doing what the gunners do best. Play-
ing champagne football and scoring many goals and being at the top
of the in form team table. Arsenal also enjoyed being top of the table
before being replaced by Manchester United after they thrashed Hull
City 4-0 at Old Trafford with Wayne Rooney grabbing all four goals.
Rooney of much talk with speculation linking him to both Real Madrid
and Barcelona, Rooney came out to stay he is happy at the club. This
season Arsenal have shown better maturity and pose a threat in their
challenge for the title. With a game in hand and their next three fixtures
being against Man Utd, Chelsea and Liverpool can a returning Bend-
tner and on fire captain Fabregas help Arsenal reign at the summit?
Tottenham Hotspurs, Aston Villa and Man City are all battling it out for
the final Champions League spot in fourth position, and of course a
certain Liverpool who have had a torrid season so far with the notable
absence of Fernando Torres who is injured again, are still in the race.
Scrapping results, Liverpool are still in contention and still have a say
on who clinches the fourth spot. The battle at the bottom of the table
Equestrian Trophy Team’s first comp of the year
The Equestrian club is relatively small compared to the more well-known
sports, but we still manage to have two teams in the BUCS league and
an additional Friendly team who also compete under BUCS rules. Our
Trophy Team had our first competition, hosted by Brighton University, on
what was the worst possible day it could have been – the day it started
to snow! (For the first time, it’s snowed a lot since!) However, none of
this ‘fair weather riders’ nonsense – the show must go on.
BUCS riding competitions consist of Dressage in the morning, followed
by showjumping in the afternoon. Four unknown horses are used for
each and one person from each uni rides each horse. Due to a recent
rule change, the combinations are now selected randomly, which came
as a bit of a surprise to us as we hadn’t been informed of this; so much
for our fool-proof strategy we had tactfully concocted over pizza the
night before!
The Dressage could have gone significantly better – my horse decided
he didn’t like the judge and the judge decided she didn’t like us, which
never bodes well for the results. However, everyone rode the test as
best we could given the running order and horse/rider combinations
didn’t really work in our favour.
Ignoring the fact that the horses were less than impressed at being
dragged out of their stables in the freezing cold and made to jump over
a load of poles, resulting in three people being catapulted, (no-one
from our team thankfully!) the jumping was a significant improvement,
with our team achieving three clear rounds (would have been four if one
of our riders hadn’t been unfairly eliminated due to unprofessional con-
duct from the judge, which we have put in a complaint about.) I have
is also tense as Portsmouth are picking up results and have recently
had their transfer embargo lifted. Owen Coyle has swapped Burnley for
Bolton and enjoyed a 1-0 victory against his former club. Hull have now
dropped into the relegation zone but manager Phil Brown is no longer
under pressure. Manchester United’s defensive woes are all but over
with their main defenders apart from Vidic all fit. Vidic has been linked
with a £25m summer move to European Champions Barcelona. With
an in form Rooney, a reborn Nani, quick Valencia, vintage Giggs and un-
known Diouf can Man Utd retain their title? Chelsea will have a big say
in that as they have two games in hand and seemed not to suffer from
the absence of their African Players. A 7-2 slaughtering of Sunderland
being evidence of that.
The Carling Cup also poses a great final after seeing two great Manches-
ter derbies. Will the trophy remain in Manchester or head to Birming-
ham? The FA Cup has seen 3 of the ‘Big Four’ get knocked out. Liver-
pool by Reading, Manchester United by Leeds and Arsenal by Stoke. It
goes to show that there are no longer any small teams and cup games
still bring shock results. With those teams out it gives the likes of Man
City, Spurs and an in form Birmingham a chance for silverware this sea-
son. Birmingham City have been in form and are unbeaten in 15 games
pulling up impressive results.
The Africa Cup of Nations has been a great showcase of African Foot-
ball. It has shown how football has improved in Africa with great televis-
ing. It is just a glimpse of what’s to come in the summer.
On that note the football season can only get better with every player
trying to impress in order to get into the World Cup squads of their re-
spective nations. I have my tickets. See you there.
by Don Decaprivano
to admit to being ever so slightly apprehensive about riding what looked
like a fire-breathing devil horse, but ‘Oscar’ turned out to be quite a
gentleman, jumping a lovely round, as did ‘Norman’ and ‘Ernie.’ The
downside of the jumping is that you only get to do the course once!
Overall, the horses were lovely, the atmosphere was friendly, Alex Hill
received an individual placing and everyone rode well, which resulted
in a very enjoyable day. We are now looking forward to our remaining
competitions over the next few weeks – fingers crossed for sunshine!
by Pitts, Equestrian Club President
 54
Guildford Heat
Spotlight on....
LA Drakeford
LA Drakeford is the Heat’s new point-guard. You’ve seen him racing up
surprise for LA was the community coaching. Unlike many professional
and down the court, getting steals on defence, setting up the Heat on clubs, the Heat puts a strong emphasis on coaching in the community
offence and, surprisingly, for the shortest man the court, grabbing all and that has come as a pleasant surprise for LA.
the rebounds. But what do you know about the man himself? Well, read
on and you’ll find out all about the little man from Ohio who plays a big “I really wasn’t expecting it, but I love it,” said LA, just after finishing
game of basketball, despite being (in basketball terms) a mere 6’0. an all-day camp at the Spectrum with Head-coach Chad McKnight.
“Coaching the kids is a lot of fun and I really enjoy the opportunity to
“I’m used to it,” he says, when the subject of his height comes up. “I’ve talk to them about basketball and to pass on some of my skills and
been in this situation for a long time now. I see it as a challenge, not a views on the game.”
disadvantage. Being called ‘pocket-sized’ or whatever is fine. I actually
like it. ‘Mini-me’ is one of my favourites. As long as my team-mates Coaching has brought with it a lot more driving than LA was expecting,
know what I can do on court, that’s what counts.” all of it on the “wrong” side of the road! That, along with having to cook
more than he is used to and a lack of decent chocolate-chip cook-
LA’s name is also a reference to his height. Sort of. His father is also ies, are the biggest off-court differences that LA has noticed. On court,
Aaron, but rather than being Aaron Jnr, he got the tag LA, which stands things are also different.
for “Little Aaron”. The irony is that “Little” Aaron is now a good deal
taller than “Big” Aaron, who stands at 5’7”. “Conditioning is the biggest thing,” said LA about the difference be-
tween the college game and playing as a pro in the BBL. “The game is
For LA, playing for the Heat is living the dream. Ever since he started much faster over here. Back in college it’s a 30 second shot clock, not
playing basketball at the age of 8 or 9, LA wanted to play professionally. 24 seconds and here you only have eight seconds to get the ball over
He realises that it’s an opportunity that few people get, but admits that half-way. So it makes for a much faster-paced game. I’m also playing
it was only in the last two or three years that he really thought it was a longer and more often. I’m training every day as well, both on court and
dream that could come true. in the weight room.

“It was only when I got to Rio Grande (LA’s college in Ohio, where he
played for three years) that I really thought I could turn that dream into
reality,” LA explains. “Coach French (Ken French, Rio Grande’s Coach)
used to talk to me every day. He saw something in me and was always
telling me that I could make it. We had a really good season last year
and that set me on my way.”
“Players here are a lot more versatile too. There’s more outside shoot-
ing; guys can’t just be a one-dimensional player. You can’t just be a
back-to-the-basket post-up guy. You’ve got to be able to shoot, drive to
the hole, do a little bit of everything. It’s making me a better, more com-
plete player, though. Even in the six weeks I’ve been here I’ve become
a better player and there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

Coming to play for the Heat was a simple choice. As well as the advan- LA’s coach, Chad, agrees. “LA’s everything I wanted and he’s even bet-
tage of coming to an English-speaking country, which made the transi- ter than I thought he would be. He works hard and he does everything
tion easier, the Heat’s offer was by far the best LA received. There have I ask of him. When I signed him, I had high hopes for him and I’ve got
been differences both on and off the court though. Probably the biggest exactly what I wanted.”

Inside Sport
With David Holt
In this feature I’ll with meet people from University sports
teams to try and gain an insight in to their sport. This week I
met “C-Dog” Carl Saunders from the Squash team.
How many of you are there involved in Squash at Surrey?
There are about 18 players, 5 in the first team, 3 in the seconds then
the rest in intermediate or beginner’s classes on Wednesdays. There’s
about 10 or 12 in that.
attend which is a social thing and you just turn up and play whoever
you want.
What is the social life like and how often do you go out?
The social life is pretty good, it’s difficult because second years, final
years and people doing their masters can’t go out as much, but usually
when we go out we hit it hard… we get on it.

What ability level are you all at?
It ranges, the first team are pretty good, they are joint top of their
league. The second team are joint top of their league as well but there’s
quite a big difference in their standard of play in their divisions. Then we
have the intermediates training session which is just outside the team
and the beginners for people who are new to the sport.
If anyone is interested in joining, how do they get involved in
playing Squash at Surrey Uni?
Just turn up at the squash courts on Wednesdays for the beginner ses-
sions which run 1-2pm, or if you’ve played before probably go to the
intermediate session which is 2-3pm, and that’s got coaching at it so
it’s quite good.

How often do you play, be it training, matches or whatever? Would you like to be interviewed and get the important information
I play on Monday’s for team training and play matches on Wednesdays, about your sport out there? Email David Holt at sportsdeskstag@gmail.
but there’s also a training session on Sunday’s which I can’t com if you would and we can organise an interview for future editions.
 55
Guildford City December Review
Guildford City had a 100% record in December – although due to ad-
verse weather conditions they only played three matches!
First up were Banstead Athletic, struggling at the foot of the table. A
Carnegie goal, courtesy of a neat Bridgeman flick, gave City a first half
lead – and Danny Elgar curled a fantastic shot into the net late on to
give City three points in a 2-0 win.
Sussex League side Redhill visited the Spectrum in the second round
of the Surrey Senior Cup. A poor pitch plus two good defences meant
chances were few and far between – and the match remained goalless
for 120 minutes. The closest City came was through a Simon Cooper
freekick right at the end of full time. The game went to penalties, and
City scored all five of theirs through Penson, Cooper, Brown, King and
Carnegie. Anthony Hall in goal saved the final Redhill penalty, setting up
a tie with Sutton United in the next round.
An end to end match turned out to be our last action of 2009, with
City running out 2-0 victors over Sandhurst Town. Simon Cooper poked
Guildford into an early lead, and the defence was at its best to keep
the hosts at bay. Indeed, we have now gone over 400 minutes without
conceding a goal in open play – the teams best defensive run in years.
Harrison Carnegie chipped the keeper in the second half to confirm the
result.
Games against Camberley, Raynes Park Vale, and the clash with local
rivals Ash United fell victim to the cold weather and snow that fell across
the borough in the middle of December.
Let's hope 2010 provides as much excitement as this season has al-
ready.
by Matt Howell

Running and Athletics: Semester one report

Carrying on from the successes of the University of Surrey Running and by all, as well as the marshal’s, including Jacks family, secretary Chris
Athletics club’s first year of existence the past month, and in particular Hummersone, and some not even associated with the club. We’d also
the past weekend, has been superb. like to thank Lorna Hopkins of the tennis club as well as Leanne Ban-
nister, Abi Sleeman and Jacqui Kelly for all your hard work.
In securing two track sessions, upping training has really meant more.
Better turnouts, more interest and better results. Track is back. Training is continuing, and anyone interested should check out the Fa-
cebook group or email ussu.running@surrey.ac.uk for more info. Next
Sunday November 1st saw the first MABAC league race of the new aca- step is gaining acceptance into the Surrey Road Running, XC and Track
demic year. Big thanks to the Blackwater Valley Runners for organising Championships and the upcoming BUCS events including the Cross
the race. Truly dreadful conditions and some sadistic climbs made for Country up at the University of Stirling in February.
an interesting, incredibly fun but ultimately very tough course for all in-
volved. It was a great performance, with treasurer Huw Margetts taking
the win in epic style, leaving the next man back from about 2km in. Results
With the snow wrecking havoc on Hockey
The past weekend has seen two more races featuring club athletes. sport nationwide only a handful of Portsmouth Men’s 3rd 2-0 Surrey
Saturday December 5th saw previous Chairman David Williams and teams were able to get out on the Men’s 2nd
current treasurer Huw Margetts take on ‘The Grim’ in Aldershot. De- pitch and play since we welcomed
scribed on the day as “8 miles of off-road torture”, The Grim aims to 2010, but with the weather hope- Rugby
test the sturdiest of athletes. Both performed well with two top results fully staying clear the results will
by both of the lads, with David coming in at 903 of 3000 in a time of begin to flood in again come the Surrey Men’s 1st 18-10 Royal
and Huw coming in at 16. next issue. Don’t forget that if Holloway 1st
you want your sport featured in
The next day saw the second MABAC league race of the year, the first the Sports Section of The Stag 23rd January 2010
one hosted by the club at Wisley Common. Despite overcoming adver- contact David Holt at sportsdesk-
sities in the way of minibus problems, the day went down successfully, stag@gmail.com Hockey
with all competitors pleased and a great turnout for the club with an-
other set of epic results which saw the club take the University of Surrey 16th January 2010 Surrey Men’s 1st 3-3 Camberley
1-2, with Captain Chris West taking 1st and treasurer Huw Margetts & Farnborough Men’s 1st
taking 2nd. A big shout out to chairman Jack Cooper for all his hard Hockey Surrey Men’s 1st 1-2 London
work in organising the race, he did a fantastic job and it is appreciated Wayfarers Ladies
Mitcham Ladies 1st 2-3 Surrey Barnes Men’s Beavers 2-0 Surrey
Women’s 1st Men’s 2nd

20th January 2010 25th January 2010

Football Football
Together with the Students’ Union we strive to provide you with the best op-
portunities to participate in sport whilst you are studying at Surrey.
T: 01483 (68)9201 (Sports Centre)
Surrey Men’s 4th 5-2 Westmin- Portsmouth Men’s 2nd 4-2 Surrey
T: 01483 (68)9242 (Varsity Centre) ster Men’s 2nd Men’s 1st
E: enquiries@unisport.co.uk / www.unisport.co.uk
See you in a
fortnight!