Did You Really Have it or Did You Fake

It?
By Dr. Juan Remos

Sexuality may be one of the most complex and, at the same time, basic aspects of
human behavior. One of the most interesting and self-revealing aspects of human
sexuality is the couples interaction regarding orgasm. I have commonly found an
unspoken code of sexual behavior in which women should have an orgasm before
men, and men are responsible for women's orgasms.
Not to discourage the guys, sexologist Ian Kerner PhD., in his well-documented
book She Comes First, explains that, on average, a western man will reach an
orgasm in 2 minutes while the female takes 21 minutes to climax. Finding a
satisfactory explanation for this imprudent biological favoritism, has escaped me
so far. But nature is perfect, and I may have found in Taoist sexology a plausible
reason (to be explained in one of my upcoming articles). But if the numbers are
correct, and I am sure they are, men are taxed with the burden of proof.to prove
what?...to prove themselves.
What we certainly know is that the poor timing of climaxing for both sexes opens
an ample opportunity for adaptive conducts to fill the gap. One of the most telling
behaviors is when one of the partners fakes having reached an orgasm. Science
has looked at who does the pretending during sex and the why they do it.

In the act of lovemaking, a man and a woman send each other possibly deceptive
signals about their true state of ecstasy. For example, [1] if one of the partners is
not in ecstasy, then he or she may decide to fake it; [2] middle-aged and older
men are more likely to fake than young men; [3] young and old women are more
likely to fake than middle-aged women, and [4] love, formally defined as a
mixture of altruism and the need for togetherness, increases the likelihood of
faking. The data also reveal an interesting positive relationship between
education and the tendency to fake, in both men and women. ("The Economics
of Faking Ecstasy." Mialon HM. Source Emory University, Atlanta. Econ Inq.,
2012; 50(1):277-85)
In another study published in the archives of sexual behavior in Oct. 2012,
women may be more likely to pretend to have an orgasm as part of a strategy to
retain a male partner, especially when the female feels there is a higher risk of
partner infidelity. The study shows there is a higher correlation between faking an
orgasm an engaging in additional partner retaining practices, self-reported as
Yelled at a woman who looked at my partner or Flirted with someone in front
of my partner Do women fake orgasm to retain a mate?. (Kaighobadi F,
Shackelford TK, Weekes-Shackelford VA. Arch Sex Behav. 2012 Oct; 41(5):1121-5.
doi: 10.1007/s10508-011-9874-6. Epub 2011 Nov 17.). In general, motivations for
faking an orgasm extend from a loving white lie, to an unloving lets get it over
with to a symptom of a deeper problem, such as anorgasmia or the inability to

reach an orgasm.
Attitudes towards sex reflect a range of personal traits, as well as cultural, social,
environmental, physiological and emotional factors. Healthy attitudes towards
ourselves and others will translate into sexual openness and greater rewards
without the need to tarnish the moment with insincerity.
As a practical recommendation to the guys, it will help to remember that to
resolve the biological inequality in time to climax described above, keep in mind
that the majority of women enjoy and need direct clitoral stimulation manually or
orally to reach orgasm. Couples can benefit from encouragement and permission
to learn about and enjoy noncoital sex.

- See more at: http://www.azureazure.com/bodysoul/healthysexuality#sthash.tEeSEAde.dpuf