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12TipsforNegotiatingandCompromising
withDifficultPeople
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byCaug124
May17th,2010
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Negotiatingistheprocessofattemptingtoagreeonasolution.Compromising,orsettlingona
mutuallyagreeablesolution,istheresultofsuccessfulnegotiations.Compromiseisallaboutbeing
flexible.Itmeansbeingabletogeneratealternatesolutionswhenyouvehitthewall.Whetherit
involvesapersonyoucantgetalongwith,anideayouknowwillworkbutthatothersarereluctant
toagreeto,achangeinofficesystems,oraturfwarthatneedsending,learningtonegotiateand
compromiseisessentialtoyoursuccess.
1.Haveapositiveattitude.
Yourattitudeisessentialtotheoutcome.Youhaveamuchbetterchanceofcomingtoanoutcome
involvingmutualgainsifyouapproachthenegotiationasanopportunitytolearnandachievea
winwinoutcome.
2.Meetonmutualground.
Findamutuallyagreeableandconvenientphysicalspacetomeetthatiscomfortableforall
involved.Agreeonwhenyouwillmeetandhowmuchtimeisavailabletodevotetotheprocess.
Wheneverpossible,dealwithnegotiationsfacetoface.Becarefulaboutusingthephoneande
mail.Alackoffacialexpressions,vocalintonation,andothercuescanresultinanegotiation
breakdown.
3.Clearlydefineandagreeontheissue.
Agreeonthestatementoftheissueusingsimpleandfactualterms.Ifthesituationis
multifaceted,searchforwaystoslicethelargeissueintosmallerpiecesanddealwithoneissueat
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atime.
4.Doyourhomework.
Taketimetoplan.Youmustnotonlyknowwhatisatstakeforyourself,butyouneedtoknowthe
othersidesconcernsandmotivation.Takeintoconsiderationanyhistoryorpastsituationsthat
mightaffectthenegotiations.Knowthemusthaves(nonnegotiableitems)andnicetohaves
(negotiableitems).Determinethebestresolution,afairandreasonabledeal,andaminimally
acceptabledeal.
5.Takeanhonestinventoryofyourself.
Determinetheleveloftrustyouhaveintheotherpersonandtheprocess.Beconsciousofaspects
ofyourpersonalitythatcanhelporhindertheprocess.
6.Lookforsharedinterests.
Getonthesamesidebyfindingandestablishingsimilarities.Sinceconflicttendstomagnify
perceiveddifferencesandminimizesimilarities,lookforcommongoals,objectives,orevengripes
thatcanillustratethatyouareinthistogether.Focusonthefuture,talkaboutwhatistobedone,
andtackletheproblemjointly.
7.Dealwithfacts,notemotions.
Addressproblems,notpersonalities.Avoidanytendencytoattacktheotherpersonortopass
judgmentonhisorherideasandopinions.Avoidfocusingonthepastorblamingtheother
person.Maintainarational,goalorientedframeofmind.Thiswilldepersonalizetheconflict,
separatetheissuesfromthepeopleinvolved,andavoiddefensiveness.
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8.Behonest.
Dontplaygames.Behonestandclearaboutwhatisimportanttoyou.Itisequallyimportanttobe
clearandtocommunicatewhyyourgoals,issues,andobjectivesareimportanttoyou.
FreeWhitePaper:TalentManagement
9.Presentalternativesandprovideevidence.
Createoptionsandalternativesthatdemonstrateyourwillingnesstocompromise.Consider
concedinginareasthatmighthavehighvaluetotheotherpersonbutarenotthatimportantto
you.Frameoptionsintermsoftheotherpersonsinterestsandprovideevidenceforyourpointof
view.
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10.Beanexpertcommunicator.
Nothingshowsdeterminationtofindamutuallysatisfactoryresolutiontoconflictmorethan
applyingexcellentcommunicationskills.Askquestions,listen,rephrasewhatyouheardtocheck
forunderstanding,andtakeagenuineinterestintheothersidesconcerns.Reducetension
throughhumor,lettheothervent,andacknowledgetheothersviews.Focuslessonyour
positionandmoreonwaysinwhichyoucanmovetowardaresolutionorcompromise.
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11.Endonagoodnote.
Developawinwinproposalandchecktomakesurethateveryoneinvolvedleavesthesituation
feelingtheyhavewon.Shakeonitandagreeontheactionsteps,whoisresponsibleforeach
step,howsuccesswillbemeasured,andhowandwhenthedecisionwillbeevaluated.Beopento
reachinganimpassefornoncriticalissuesyoucanagreetodisagreeonminorissues.
12.Enjoytheprocess.
Lookatthebenefitsoflearningotherpointsofview.Peoplereportthatafterovercomingconflict
andreachinganagreement,therelationshipgrewevenstronger.Reflectandlearnfromeach
negotiation.Determinethecriteriatoevaluatetheprocessandthesolution.
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GuyFarmer/June14,2010at10:39am
Greatideas.Ivefoundithelpfulaswelltoworkondeepercommunicationand
buildingrelationships.Deepercommunicationisaboutpeoplebeingabletotell
theirstorywithoutanyoutsideinterference.Whenpeoplefeelheardithasa
soothingeffect.Buildingrelationshipshelpspeopleconnectwitheachotherand
canbeaccomplishedbysettingupandenvironmentwherepeopleareencouraged
toengageinakindandwelcomingmannerratherthanasadversaries.Italso
helpsifleadersaretrainedinhowtodiffuseconflictratherthanperpetuateoradd
toit.
Reply
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