Hey Everyone! I have decided to answer the Discussion Questions (p.

372-373) in our textbook

for Chapter 10 as I feel that these questions covered most of the concepts in this chapter. I have
also chosen to change some questions, so that they are more relevant for studying purposes!
Hope they aide in your studying and good luck to all of you on the Final Exam!
Take care,
Sarah

Chapter 10 Fostering Self-Discipline in Children:

Communicating Expectations and Rules
Discussion Questions (p.372-373)
1. Define self-discipline and describe its component parts.
Self-discipline is the ability to regulate ones own behaviour. The child can judge right
from wrong and make certain behavioural choices based on his or her personal sense of what is
right and not on whether or not he or she is being monitored by an adult. They use reasoning,
concern for others, and an understanding of acceptable and unacceptable behaviours. In addition,
they can initiate certain behaviours while inhibiting others, and can normally carry out positive
social relations with others without an adult telling them to do so. Children with self-discipline
skills are able to resist temptation, delay gratifications, and curb negative impulses even if they
are not being supervised. There are four orientations to self-discipline: Amoral, Adherence,
Identification, and Internalization (these will be more thoroughly discussed in Question 4).
2. Jamal is a preschooler. His brother Ahmed is 10 years old. Discuss how guilt and empathy
would figure into each childs thinking.
Jamals feelings of guilt and empathy would differ from his brother Ahmeds, because
they are both in different stages of emotional development. Jamal is able to convey empathy and
guilt (children over the age of 3 are able to convey these emotions), as is Ahmed. However, these
emotions will be felt differently by each child depending on the events in which they experience
and their reactions to these events.
Jamals feelings of guilt are brought on by more simple experiences such as spilling milk
or damaging another childrens toy. Whereas Ahmeds feelings of guilt might be aroused by
causing distress in others, such as seeing another child being bullied and doing nothing about it.
As Jamal and Ahmed mature, their feelings of guilt will be more related to their personal
standards, rather than failing to satisfy others expectations.
Jamal can feel empathy towards another child who is crying and may give that child a
tissue in an attempt to make them feel better. At this stage in emotional development, Jamal is
able to make more objective assessments of other peoples needs and distresses. They begin to
realize that others reactions are different from their own and learn how to respond accordingly
by comforting and/or supporting others. Ahmed, on the other hand is able to feel empathy for
others in which he does not have direct contact with. For example, he may watch a television
program on the Haiti Earthquake disaster and feel empathy for the victims.

3. It has been shown that children become more capable of self-discipline as they mature.
Explain the developmental changes that contribute to this increased capacity.
There are three main developmental influences on self-discipline: Emotional, Language,
and Cognitive Development.
Emotional Development: Guilt and empathy are two emotions that strongly contribute
to fostering self-discipline in children. Please see question 3 above for an example of the
developmental changes that occur in children from pre-school to later elementary years.
Language Development: Language, private speech, and memory development are all
very important factors in developing self-discipline in children.
Language plays a major role in developing internal behavioural controls in children. This
is because language aides in the understanding of why rules are made, while also helping
children to attain socially acceptable goals. By age three, children have well-developed
vocabularies and have the ability to express their basic needs. However, they may have
difficulties at responding to verbal directions and telling others what they want. Therefore, young
children may resort to physical actions (pushing, hitting, etc) rather than using words to express
their wants/needs. As their language abilities develop more fully, they become better at using
their words and are able to understand verbal directions as well as communicate more effectively
with others. As a result, they learn to use language rather than physical actions to communicate.
It has also been shown that children use private speech as a means for self-regulation.
This means that they will talk out loud to themselves to reduce frustration, postpone rewards, or
remind themselves of rules. Children in early and middle childhood use private speech 20-60%
of the time to generate whole phrases to plan strategies and monitor their actions. Studies have
also shown that children use private speech in difficult problem solving tasks. As a result, their
performance typically improves following their self-instruction. As children mature into
adolescence, this outer speech becomes inner speech that is used to regulate day to day activities
throughout adulthood. This self-talk, although it occurs naturally has been shown to aide children
with self-regulation.
Memory skills also aide in the development of self-discipline. Even though we are
unsure of whether memory increases from one year to the next, we do know that children are
able to use stored information as a resource for determining future behaviour. This means that
children need fewer reminders by others to guide them in their actions because they use
remembered information that they have previously stored. However, children from toddlerhood
to 8 or 9 years of age may need reminders of how to behaviour in unsure situations and may need
to be told rules and procedures more frequently than older children. In addition, since older
childrens memory skills are more fully developed; they may only need periodic behavioural
reminders.
Cognitive Development: As childrens ability to distinguish right from wrong and
appropriate from inappropriate there is an increase in their cognitive abilities and thus, children
are able to regulate their behaviours internally rather than externally. These capabilities are
influenced by changing notions of right and wrong, the degree to which children comprehend

the perspectives of other persons and the cognitive characteristics of centration and
irreversibility.
Childrens Notions of Right and Wrong: When children are toddlers they learn right
from wrong from rewards and punishments. By 3 or 4 years of age, children learn that different
behaviours elicit different reactions from adults (e.g. punching sister elicits a stronger reaction
than coming to table with dirty hands). As a result, children begin to make distinctions between
moral violations (stealing, hurting others, lying, etc), and social-conventional infractions
(speaking rudely, poor table manners, etc). In addition, children will categorize actions as very
wrong or not very wrong. Thus, childrens focus is in the present and they do not think about
how their actions might impact people or property in the future. By ages 8 and up, children use a
more advanced reasoning in thinking about expectations and rules. Their definitions of wrong
behaviour is expanded to include psychological impacts rather than simply physical. In addition,
they realize the need for social order in order to protect the rights of individuals and the group.
Their thinking also develops from the immediate impacts to the future impacts that their
behaviours may cause.
Childrens Perspective-Taking Abilities: In order to fully understand right from wrong,
children must understand and interact effectively with others. Children 5 years and younger often
have great difficulty in understanding the perspectives of others. They have great difficulty
putting themselves in others shoes. Not because they are unwilling to, but because they are
simply unable to comprehend or predict others thoughts (especially when others views conflict
with their own). Children between the ages of 6 and 8 years are more likely to understand other
perspectives other than their own. However, they assume that variations in perspectives have
occurred because each person has different information or they are in a different situation. The
result is that children this age will often go to great lengths to convince you of their argument.
Children ages 9 to 10 will recognize that their perspectives and another persons perspectives can
be different and/or contradictory. However, they often have difficulty with accepting multiple
perspectives within the same situation as themselves. As children mature (ages 11-12), they are
able to understand others perspectives as well as multiple perspectives within the same situation.
They can also speculate about what other people are thinking now and in the future. These
abilities can help children behave in a variety of different situations.
Centration Influences Childrens Social Conduct: During early childhood years,
children are not able to direct their attention to more than one primary attribute of a situation.
Thus, they are unable to see the big picture (centration), and are unable to generate solutions to
problems. Since they have such a limited perception of events, young children often overlook
important details that are relevant to their and others behaviour and actions. The younger the
child is, the more of an issue centration is. Adults can help children overcome this issue by
pointing out possible solutions to problems and presenting ideas to children to help them
generate more effective solutions.
Irreversibility Affects Childrens Efforts to Comply: Young children (toddlers and
preschoolers) are not able to mentally reverse actions that they initiate physically. Thus, their
thinking is irreversible. They have problems with not only thinking of an alternative reaction, but
also have difficulty spontaneously interrupting an ongoing behaviour. Therefore, adults must
help young children to reverse their behaviour by modelling the behaviour themselves or telling
them how to do it. In addition, older children may need help with irreversibility in unfamiliar
situations.

4. Define amoral, adherence, identification, and internalization. Then, discuss which behaviour
cues tell you when a person is operating at any one of these levels.
Amoral Orientation (No Regulation)
When children are born, they have no concept of what is right or wrong. In other words,
they are amoral. Babies in this stage are not able to make ethical judgements about their
behaviour and/or actions, nor can they control their behaviour in response to moral demands. For
example, baby Sharon tries to pull on her mothers ears while she is holding her. Even though her
mother yells ouch! and then a stern No! and gently removes Sharons hand from her ear,
Sharon does it again five minutes later. Sharon has not yet learned the skills to interpret her
mothers behaviours, nor can she control her actions in response to her mothers cues. Most
toddlers and preschoolers eventually learn how to respond to external cues by parents,
caregivers, and teachers and can regulate their actions in response to these cues (Adherence).
Adherence (External Regulation)
Adherence is the first component in eventual self-regulation. In this stage, children
gradually learn how to respond to verbal cues in their environment and learn what to do and what
not to do. Children need physical assistance during this stage and need to be shown what
behaviours are appropriate. Adherence can also occur when children follow a rule or expectation
in the hopes of gaining some reward or to avoid negative consequences. For example, four year
old Jane receives a chocolate bar at the grocery store line-up because she didnt touch any food
on the shelves while her mother was shopping. If she didnt receive a chocolate bar the next time,
she will be more likely to touch items when they go shopping next time. Thus, Jane is only
displaying appropriate behaviour because she knows what she will receive in return. In addition,
rewards alone do not provide enough information for Jane to acquire self-regulation. She has not
yet learned self-regulation and is only acting in her best interests. Therefore, she will most likely
touch items on the shelf at the grocery store if she knows she will not receive a chocolate bar
again. This is why at this stage, children need constant supervision and support to behave
appropriately.
Identification (Shared Regulation)
This self-discipline stage occurs when a child can identify with someone who they
admire. Thus, they are more likely to accept certain codes of behaviour when they can imitate the
conduct, attitudes, and values of the important people in their lives. In addition, children may
also be more willing to comply when they are trying to establish and/or preserve satisfying
relationships in their lives. Identification can happen for several reasons. First, children may
want to be like the people they admire. Second, children may assume that they are similar to the
people they admire. Third, children may have similar emotions to the people they admire. In any
case, identification is an important element in developing self-discipline in children. Rather than
relying on rewards and punishments, children can model behaviour (such as sharing, being
polite, etc) from others in their lives. For example, Ryan wants to be just like his Coach and
assumes that they share the same traits (sensitivity, fairness, kindness, competitiveness). Ryan is
in this particular stage of development because he is trying to emulate his coach and displays

behaviours that are becoming of his coach rather than displaying these behaviours for himself.
However, difficulties arise when children are only displaying these behaviours in response to
wanting to emulate or impress adults rather than understanding the reasoning behind these
behaviours and why they are appropriate.
Internalization (Internal Regulation)
Internalization is the most important stage of self-regulation. In this stage, children have
fully internalized expectations as logical extensions of their own beliefs and personal values.
They have an internal code of conduct that guides their behaviours and actions. More
importantly, children at this stage choose actions not because of the rewards or punishments they
will receive, but because they are avoiding self-condemnation. They can fully understand the
reasons behind behavioural standards and feel that they have a moral commitment to adhere to
those standards. In addition, they also understand the concepts of justice, honesty, and equity and
can also internalize these behaviours and take into account the impacts that their behaviour will
have on others. For example, children in this stage will share with others, not simply because an
adult told them to do so, but because it will make them feel good. Once children have
internalized an expectation, they are more likely to behave in a variety of situations. Therefore, a
child is demonstrating self-discipline by internalizing and regulating their actions and behaviours
in accordance with their moral values/beliefs. Internalization evolves gradually and can take
many years for children to develop. In addition, this important developmental stage takes varying
degrees and rates within different children.
5. Name three rules you had to follow as a child. Talk about whether your compliance with each
rule was at the adherence, identification, or internalization level.
Wow. I have to really think back here. Im going to choose sharing as Rule #1, 8pm
bedtime as Rule #2, and not interrupting as Rule #3.
Rule #1-Sharing: This was more of an expectation than a rule but Im going to discuss it
nevertheless. When I first started elementary school, I think I gradually started at the adherence
stage and then worked my way up to the internalization level. As an only child, I didnt have to
share very often. However, I do remember my parents friends bringing their children over for
play dates and me being expected to share with the other children. I dont remember this ever
being an issue, or even something that needed repeated reminders. I enjoyed playing with other
children and I usually wanted to show them my toys and play with the toys together. I was a
fairly relaxed and compliant child, so I dont remember there being any fights or anything of that
nature. At the adherence level, I was able to get a reward for sharing. I would have other children
to play with and therefore, I would have to share my toys. As I grew older, sharing became more
internalized. I knew the moral value of sharing and how it would contribute to my friendships
and relationships with other children.
Rule #2-8pm Bedtime: Bedtime was a fairly concrete rule in my house hold. I didnt like going
to bed early and I usually came up with several excuses for why I couldnt get to sleep (stomach
ache, not tired, wanted to watch TV. etc). Most of the time, I was at the adherence level. I needed

to be constantly reminded of why there was a set time that I had to go to sleep, and constantly
told that I needed to go to sleep and not come out of my room.
Rule #3-Not Interrupting: As a child I was very imaginative, strong willed, and talkative. I
somehow always managed to interrupt my mother, especially when she was on the phone. At the
adherence level, I was constantly reminded of what interrupting behaviours where and when they
were not appropriate. As I grew older, and I started to internalize this rule, I realized that
interrupting was disrespectful and rude. I also learned that interrupting others to say what you
had to say, devalues what the other person is saying. Thus, making them feel as if their opinions
were less important than mine.
6. Describe all of the things you could do in relation to instruction and modelling to teach a child
how to handle guinea pigs safely. Make sure you take into account childrens varying levels of
maturity.
Setting an example for children is very important, because we as adults can show
children what behaviours are appropriate and convey messages about these behaviours through
modelling. In addition, children at different maturity levels require different instructions and
directions. For younger children (Grades K-3), I would have all of the children sit with me in a
circle and I would begin by showing them how to hold a guinea pig. I would first explain that
these animals need to be touched softly and gently because they are very small and we dont
want to hurt or squish them. I would then ask them several questions, such as What would
happen if I didnt use both hands? Why do we need to be so gentle? and Has anyone ever
had a puppy or another small animal at home? (If so, I would ask them to describe to the class
how they handled and treated their own animal). As I was modelling the appropriate ways to
handle the guinea pig, we would have a class discussion based on the above questions. Then, I
would gently pass the guinea pig to the next person in the circle and each child would get a
chance to hold the guinea pig for a few minutes and then pass it on to the next person. That way,
I could supervise the guinea pig being handled, as well as have the other children model the
behaviour for the others.
Older children (Grades 4-7) probably need less instruction on how to appropriately
handle a guinea pig. However, I would state certain expectations/rules, discuss them with the
class as a whole, and then write them clearly on the board. The children would know what
expectations were expected of them when the guinea pig was being handled and if they had
questions, they could ask me. I would only allow them to handle the guinea pig in small groups
(2 or 3), so that there was less of a chance that the guinea pig would be dropped or stepped on. I
would try to supervise that group and make suggestions if necessary.
7. Instead of answering this question, I will provide notes on the four discipline styles:
Authoritarian, Permissive, Uninvolved, and Authoritative:
Authoritarian Discipline Style:
Children should be obedient, no matter what
Invest more energy into socializing childrens behaviour than relationship building
Rule enforcers!
High standards

 Do not use explanation or reasoning

Broken rules are dealt with quickly and are punished with shame, guilt, ridicule, physical
punishment
Cold and distant relationships with children
Children view them as harsh, unreasonable and only looking for mistakes
Keeps children at the adherence level of reasoning
Children only follow rules out of blind obedience/fear
Children may become unfriendly, suspicious, resentful, unhappy
Children may avoid peers, act out to the extreme and exhibit increased acts of misconduct
Permissive Discipline Style:

opposite of authoritarian style

Warm relationships with children
Establish few boundaries
Emphasize relationship building but ignore socialization processes
See themselves as loving adults who have no place in being responsible for or shaping
behaviours
Unsure of how to teach children how to comply and provide little instruction
Do not give children opportunities to accept responsibility for behaviour
Punish children by temporary love withdrawal (e.g. I dont like children who hurt
people)
Children do not internalize expectations & rules
Children do not have instruction or modelling behaviours to show them what is
acceptable behaviour
Children do not develop empathy b/c cause and effect relationships are not explained
Children have low self-esteem, anxiety, withdrawn, unhappy, unproductive
In adolescence children may be delinquent and have poor academic performance

Uninvolved Discipline Style:

Act indifferent to children
Put no energy into relating or guiding children
Fail to use facilitation and action-related strategies
Adults are self-absorbed, selfish, and focus on their needs rather than the childs
Their extreme neglect is often the result of stress or depression
Lack of warmth contributes to children feeling alienated and they often have problems
with developing healthy relationships with others
Children are moody, detached, disruptive, insecure and low self-esteem/self-worth
In adolescence: low academic performance, noncompliance, irresponsible and immature

 In adolescence children may become drug users, sexually promiscuous, and often do not
attend their classes
Hinders children from internalizing; they often are stuck at the amoral and adherence
stages of moral regulation
Authoritative Discipline Style:

Combination of positive attributes of authoritarian and permissive styles

Respond to children with warmth, acceptance and nurturance
Have high standards and clear expectations
Address both facilitation and action dimension strategies in building healthy relationships
Friendly, affectionate and make children feel important
Allow children to assume responsibility for their actions as well as acknowledging
accomplishments
Teach social skills as necessary
High standards that match childrens changing needs and abilities
Use explanations, demonstrations, suggestions, and other reasoning abilities
Fully discuss issues with children and use these discussions as a learning experience
May use inductive discipline; form of behaviour regulation where adults encourage
children to regulate their behaviour based on the impact their actions will have on
themselves and others
This style is most associated in developing self-discipline and internalization
Children are happy, cooperative, sensitive and empathetic to others, resistant to
temptation, and socially responsible
Children are better able initiate and maintain behaviours on their own
Children are less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviours
Childrens behaviour is the most socially competent out of the three previously listed
styles

8. Describe what changes you might have to make in your own interactions style to make it more
authoritative.
Im going to complete this question on my own (when I dont have three papers due and
finals to study for). I have included this question because I would like to suggest that everyone
think about what changes they could make in their own style to make it more authoritative.
9. Instead of answering this question as stated in the textbook, I would like to describe the three
parts of the personal message.
Part One of the Personal Message:

First, it is important that the adult fully understands what the child is trying to
accomplish. Once this has been established, it will be easier to come up with alternative and
acceptable behaviour. Therefore, the first step of the personal message is to show children that
you fully understand their perspective. The text suggests that you recognize and acknowledge
using a behaviour, paraphrase, or affective reflection. Using a reflection when a child misbehaves
is useful for both the adult and child. For the adult, it can help them to understand the childs
perspective and emotions because they may be quite different from the perspective of the adult.
It also provides the child with a clear signal that the adult is trying to fully understand the childs
problem. If an adult can clearly communicate, the child will be more willing to listen because
they feel their own message has been heard. It also gives the adult a few moments to thoroughly
reflect upon the situation while trying to postulate a particular line of action or to readjust their
approach. Finally, it allows the adult to show caring and respect for children especially when
disciplinary action is in order.
Part Two of the Personal Message:
Part two of the personal message describes the adults emotions, identifies the childs
behaviour that led to those feelings, and gives a reason for why this is so. It is important for
adults to express their emotions because:
Illustrates the universality of feelings
Demonstrate that everyone feels different emotions at different times
Promotes closer ties with children
Children care about the adults emotions (promotes empathy and caring)
One the adult has described his or her emotions (e.g. I feel annoyed when...), the next
step is to tell the child which behaviour has caused them to react. Therefore, clearly and calmly
identify the undesirable behaviour by naming it (e.g. I feel annoyed when you hit.).
Remember, behaviours are actions you can see. Thus, avoid label words such as lazy,
uncooperative, greedy, etc., when naming the behaviour. The next step is to provide the child
with a reason of why this behaviour is unacceptable (I feel annoyed when you hit. Hitting
hurts.). Giving reasons to children allows them to understand and respond to adult expectations.
Part Three of the Personal Message:
The third part of the personal message provides children with a course of action for a
particular circumstance. It is not enough to tell a child which behaviours are unacceptable.
Therefore, they also must be told what to try instead. This part of the message gives a guideline
or rule that tells the child what to do. Rules should be:
Reasonable

 Definable
Positive
Articulating the Entire Personal MessageThe Four Rs
Part One: Reflect
Use a behaviour, paraphrase, or affective reflection
Part Two: React
Describe your emotion and the childs behaviour
Part Three: Reason
Give a reason for you message
Part Four: Rule
Tell children what to do versus what not to do