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Level 6 Advanced
Eye contact: It is not polite to make direct eye contact with someone; the first time you meet
someone, he/she will likely tend to look down at the ground unless he/she is your superior.
It is very difficult to know if the person with whom you are speaking is happy, disappointed, or
otherwise; without sounding trite, it can be said that Vietnamese, like many Asian people, have
facial expressions that are somewhat difficult to read. Nevertheless, it is not uncommon to see
people become enraged or raise their voices, particularly when a superior is talking to a junior
employee. Since nobody wants to lose face, meetings appear to remain rather superficial and many
discussions take place behind the scenes, but usually in the end everyone comes to a mutually
acceptable settlement.
Conversations
Question: I am meeting someone for the first time and I want to make a good impression. What
would be good discussion topics?
A Vietnamese speaks:
If you want to make a good impression when you meet someone for the first time, a good topic to
discuss is family. Vietnamese appreciate it if you ask them about their marital status (i.e. single or
married) about their parents, their spouses, and their children. It means that you care about their
lives. You can ask questions such as: Are you married? How many children you have? How many
brothers or sisters do you have? What do your parents do? What grade is your son in?
Vietnamese society has a hierarchy based on age, so you can also ask people about their age. After
knowing their age, you will be able to address them in the proper way. For example, if they are
older than you, you can call them anh (for males) or chi (for ladies). Addressing them this way
means that you are according them the level of respect that corresponds to their age.
If you can speak some Vietnamese or show your interest to learn some Vietnamese, people will
form a good impression of you as well. Avery common word used in the first meeting is Chao
(this word can be used for greeting and saying good bye). If you were addressing an older male
you would say Chao anh and if you were addressing an older female you would say Chao chi.
When meeting someone for the first time, Vietnamese people generally dont like to discuss
politics, as they do not know who you are or what is your political perspective. If you show a
strong interest in politics in the first meeting, it could impact negatively on subsequent meetings or
on your future work.
In addition, death or accidents are considered bad luck so you should not talk about these
incidents. Vietnamese people like humour, so its good if you can make jokes. They will feel
comfortable if you can make jokes, however, making a good joke is not easy if you dont
understand the culture.
The Canadian expert:
In Vietnamese society, the family is one of the core values and the extended family is the basic
unit. Therefore, it is important to ask how the family is doing. It is not considered impolite to ask
questions about the family of the person to whom you are speaking. For example, asking: whether
he/she is married, how many children he/she has (the answer is usually two since the government
has limited couples to a two-child maximum), or the age of their children.
It is possible to ask questions about work, but it is often difficult to understand exactly what they
do unless you meet them at their workplace.
Religion is perhaps the most sensitive subject and it is best to avoid the topic. The same holds true
for politics. Vietnamese will raise these subjects themselves if they want to know your opinion.
Vietnamese have a sense of humour, but it is not obvious at first glance.
In general, the linguistic barrier is the biggest obstacle when first meeting someone. More and
more frequently people speak English, albeit not very well, and it takes a while to get used to their
accent and the way they form their sentences. Interpreters are not very well trained and it is said
that only roughly 50% of oral discussions are properly translated. It is strongly suggested that you
repeat or reformulate a decision in order to ensure that all parties have correctly understood one
another. French is still spoken by older people and a minority of young university students. Many
civil servants and managers studied in the former Soviet Union and/or in Eastern block countries;
therefore, if you speak Russian, German, or Czech, do not hesitate to use these languages.