Apologies/accepting punishment

Appropriate attitude/what to say and when and how to say it

- once a Dom has stated He will be punishing the submissive You as the subbie at that
point should refrain from trying to talk your way out of it or justify or try to reduce the
sentence.. the decision has been made, and it is disrespectful to be questioning Him on His
decision in a more practical sense, it can lead to an extended or additional punishment
- most Doms are aware that subbies will dread punishment first of all, it is always
uncomfortable in some ways, and often it HURTS! Which is the point of punishment to
create an aversion to a behavior He does not want repeated. It also makes us aware that
we have done something to displease Him, which of course to the committed subbie
creates inner turmoil and guilt, as we strive to NOT do that.. that is expected and
understood, but should not be put on the Dom. The subbie needs to own that, ride it out,
and use it to learn from. Carrying on about it can be viewed as trying to make the Dom feel
bad or guilty, and this is inappropriate and not the point. Remember, you did something
that created this, He is responding as expected by your agreement
- it is appropriate to feel truly contrite and relay that during a punishment, but this is
different than feeling SORRY FOR ONESELF contrite that Master had to punish you, and
feeling bad heart and soul, never mind body is appropriate and desired whining that it
isnt fair, too harsh, not deserved, etc. is always unacceptable.
- if a punishment seems completely unwarranted, or unusually harsh, it is appropriate IN
SITUATIONS WHERE DOMS ALLOW YOU TO SPEAK FREELY AND SOME WILL NOT
REGARDING PUNISHMENT it is appropriate to ask a Dom AFTER THE PUNISHMENT IS
COMPLETELY OVER if you have permission to speak freely. If permission is granted,
respectfully and appropriately ask what He wanted you to learn from that punishment so He
doesnt have to punish you again for the same thing, and so you can please Him. Never be
accusatory, or whiny or complain that it isnt fair. After all, They have the total right to
determine what a punishment should be, once weve consented to be in a Dom/sub
relationship.
- During the actual punishment, how a subbie should act or what you should say is often
dictated by the Dom, but should usually be limited to Im sorry Sir and Thank you Sir
some Doms require complete compliance they may not allow movement or any speaking,
some may require you to count strokes out loud or repeat a certain phrase after each
stroke, some will not be so strict, but will expect that you be completely compliant to the
punishment moving to avoid the strokes, begging them to stop, yelling it isnt fair, are all
not acceptable. Some Doms are okay with whimpering and a muffled ow here and there,
but it is good practice to follow that with a thank You Sir so they know you are getting the
point if a Dom does not allow that, and makes you aware of that, be prepared that the
punishment can be extended due to non-compliance, or often started completely over each
time the subbie doesnt follow directions this can lead to a ten stroke spanking being 20,
30 or more depending on how stubborn the subbie is choosing to be.

I once was punished with a pretty long spanking with a wooden spoon which left me
pretty sore, and quite contrite. Sounds pretty mellow, a wooden spoon? Yeah, i thought
that too.. until i was effectively spanked with one. When i thought i was done, and was
allowed up, (i was bent over the back of an armchair, which was particularly uncomfortable
because i was too short and was forced to be on my toes) and i was told to go stand in the
corner. As i was walking there, apparently feeling a little too sorry for myself, i kicked a
shoe out of my way. He took this as disrespectful, and called me back. He informed me I

would now be getting a 10 stroke belt spanking for my mini tantrum, and since i wanted to
be so vocal, i could count them (i was sighing or sucking my teeth) i got into position
appropriately, and tried really hard, but being that i was already sore, i forgot to count or
was holding my breath not to cry out too loud and couldnt count, and each time that
happened, He started over at 1. What should have been a quick 10 stroke spanking ended
up being a total of 34 strokes. By the time i got to the corner, i was sobbing and
inconsolable. It sucked, and i learned that day the importance of self-discipline and
following protocol.
Transitioning into and out of punishment
- Because we are not perfect, punishment is an expected and in some ways routine part of
the lifestyle, and Doms and subbies alike should be able to take a punishment in stride.
Nothing makes a Dom prouder if He has to punish his subbie, that is than if that
punishment can be carried out with the subbie maintaining as much dignity as possible and
without making a huge drama. If He says you are to be punished, a simple yes Sir, thank
You Sir is all that needs to be said especially in mixed company. If the punishment is
carried out then, the subbie should immediately go into punishment mode, follow the
agreed protocol, make oneself as inconspicuous as possible especially important in mixed
situations, and when the punishment is completely over including any corner time, or
returning of implements to their initial place, etc the subbie should continue with the night
as if it didnt occur except of course, the obvious that the behavior needs to change. If
you were serving food or drinks, immediately return to the party and do that smiling the
whole time as if your ass isnt now very red and act as though nothing happened. Never,
ever, discuss punishment with Doms or subs outside of the immediate situation. Any/all
discussion should be reserved for when private time with your Dom. If alone with Your
Dom, after the punishment ends, and He lets you know all is well in whatever way He
does that the subbie should approach with a smile, thanking Sir, and ask what He wants
you to do next, as nonchalant as if the break in action was as routine as a trip to the
store. There should be no ongoing crying, whining, apologizing over and over the
crying/apologizing may be okay during the actual punishment, but once it ends Sir wants
to move on with the night continuing to bring the punishment up, or wincing that this
hurts or that hurts because you just got punished, is viewed as attention seeking and should
be avoided. Certainly, being angry or cranky, and being compliant, but not enthusiastic and
willing to please is all the same. A Dom is not fooled or impressed by the subbie that
sulkingly complies after being punished, and that is frustrating and not very much fun for
Him, and can have very unpleasant consequences for you. My advice is if you are feeling
very bad for yourself after an intense spanking, ask your Dom respectfully after the
punishment is completely over and you have been released, if you can please take a few
minutes to refocus. If they agree, thank them, and wait for direction on the parameters of
that it may be yes, you may take 10 minutes in the bedroom, or sure, you can stand in
the corner for 5 minutes, or whatever. Immediately and respectfully go to that designated
spot, take the allotted time, and wait for them to come and get you. Their 5 minutes may
turn to 10 if they get busy, so be patient. You asked for this time, so deal with it. If there
are other people present, never forget your first priority is to present your Dom in a
favorable light, and be sure to go to the designated spot swiftly, but remember not
everyone may know what happened, so dont ever forget your manners, and smile through
your tears if necessary as you walk there, always being the hostess. Excuse yourself politely
from the room if necessary no explanation is necessary from you, defer to your Dom if
anyone asks. im heading to the bedroom for a moment at Sirs direction is appropriate
if guests desire further explanation, they will ask your Dom. He may, to further make His

point, direct you upon your return to tell Him, or the room, or whomever, what happened
and why. If this happens, speak very clearly and respectfully, and explain i disobeyed Sir
by (blahblahblah) and earned a punishment. Sir gave me a whipping, and i was allowed 10
minutes to collect myself and wait for further direction. If your Dom is going to allow
people to question you, answer all questions respectfully. If alone, Sir may ask you to say
this just to be clear you understand why you were punished. If nobody asks, then say
nothing about it. Once Sir gets you, thank Him again, and move on with the night.
If your Dom does not allow you the time to collect yourself, you need to fake it til you
make it and put on your game face, return to the night, and present yourself as expected.
Using ones mantra and remembering the point of punishment will help through this
transition.
Thank You Sir!! understanding why were punished
As stated earlier, Dom have the total right to determine what a punishment should be, once
weve consented to be in a Dom/sub relationship.
The nature of the scope of what punishments can be should be discussed early in the
relationship, obviously something that is a hard limit should not be used as punishment, but
othe r than that the subbie is at the mercy of the Doms scope of creativity. Doms/Masters
also always have the right to punish their submissive for any reason desired not
necessarily a wrongdoing it could be because they want to test limits, test obedience,
remind a sub of their place before going out to a social setting, maintenance, whatever.. a
reason/explanation is for teaching purposes, not for any justification for the punishment.
They have that justification already by nature of their relationship. However, the most
common reason for punishment is to correct a behavior and therefore, at some point, some
explanation can and should be offered most Doms will be very clear at the time of
punishment what the subbie is being punished for. After all, the goal is to usually to change
a behavior, and it isnt beneficial if they are not clear on what that behavior is.
- As mentioned earlier, some Doms will allow a subbie to speak freely either right after the
punishment is over, or later in the evening during down time and this is a good
opportunity to ask any questions or clarify any confusion about the punishment. BE
CAREFUL THIS IS NOT AN OPPORTUNITY TO WHINE OR COMPLAIN ABOUT HAVING
BEEN PUNISHED
- if a Dom does NOT allow the submissive to speak freely regarding punishment, a
submissive must accept the punishment knowing that their Dom wants them to take this
pain/punishment/humiliation whatever and learn from it, and that the Dom is always
working with their subbies best interest in mind, so trust that the Dom will have a reason,
and will reveal it when they feel it is appropriate perhaps the lesson is in the waiting
obediently and respectfully for the minutes/days/weeks until He lets them know Hes proud
they accepted the punishment so well, and trusted Him and didnt question Him. If a Dom
is doing this, they will often say to the subbie that they will discuss the punishment when
they are ready. If that explanation is given, be patient! Easier said than done, but haunting
Him will defeat the purpose and likely result in another experiment or further punishment.
Trust Your Dom not to leave You hanging, a baic response of well talk about it later
answers your question.
- if the situation is such that you believe as a subbie that the Dom is consistently just being
abusive in their punishments either intensity or frequency and NEVER offering an
explanation or what they are trying to teach, then the overall situation must be looked if it is
a healthy one or not. The goal of the relationship is a power exchange, or giving up of
power, and the Dom should value your submission as a gift and care for it accordingly. If

you are not feeling valued, heard, or appreciated, and you dont believe that the Dom has
your best interest in mind when He punishes you either to make you a better person
overall, or to help you learn to serve better per your agreemement than a very serious
conversation should occur. If the Dom is unwilling to have this conversation, than there
may be a danger that He is not playing fair, and may just be abusive. DO NOT IGNORE
THIS. Be prepared to leave a situation that is unsafe.
Presenting yourself physically and emotionally
As mentioned earlier, how one presents themselves physically for punishment is open to the
desire of the Dom, and may vary based on circumstances, location, infraction, etc. But
there are some standard positions that are often used and valuable to know in general
situations.
- Positions:
**- Position 7: Bend Down (Punishment / Inspection Position)

The backside is very much exposed and with that wonderfully positioned for a spanking or
flogging. The danger of hurting the kidneys is very much reduced. Just make sure your
strikes come from the side rather than from the top. This position also very useful for
"inspections". But it is quite unstable, so Dom should be careful when using it for
punishment.
Position 7 is often used for actual punishment, or to set the tone right before or after a
punishment is administered

**- Position 4: kneeling face down (Submission)

The arms are spread forward or folded on the back. The neck is exposed and with that the
person shows complete submission.

Position 4 is often used as part of the pre-punishment routine, the Dom may require this
position to signify contriteness and submission, and if not required, the subbie may use this
as a non-verbal cue to show their readiness to accept punishment, and their that they are
feeling apologetic.

Grand Apology Taken from the Submissive Guide:

A Grand Apology position is hopefully something you dont have to do often but since we are all
human, it is going to happen. . This position would certainly be helpful when needing to feel
forgiven. Particularly if you sort of know you are in serious trouble.
- How do you want to appear when asking forgiveness? Is there a position that draws you from
what weve already learned for use during apologies? Would you prefer standing or kneeling?
What would your Dominant want from you?
- Either discuss with your Dom during some down time what would be reflect to Him to show
contriteness, and incorporate those ideas, or more ideally, use your own experiences to know
your Dom, and what pleases Him, and pull out the stops sort to speak and really put yourself
out there to let Him know how sorry you are.
- This position should be reserved if you need to be REALLY sorry for something a huge
display such as this can be seen as overly dramatic and attention seeking if used to often or for
the wrong reasons, and will lose its value.