Happy Ramadhan Mubarik May Allah Look Favorably

HAPPY RAMADHAN MUBARIK
May Allah look favorably upon your fasting and answer your prayers
1 News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another
playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message
2 God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested.
3 CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained monkeys to track down Osama.
FBI awaiting further orders as one of the monkey is reading this
5 This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, fool
dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word
dog.
7 Why were males created before females?

Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.
9 ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.
12 Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

A: About 45 pounds!!
15 What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?
20 Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive
this thing?"
24 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

Magnets have a positive side!
25 The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of

your action.
26 Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
27 WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
28 What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?

The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.
29 Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
33 What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?

One fucked the miners, the other fucked the Majors
6 Any woman that thinks the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach is
aiming just a little too high.
46 What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm
home!
68 Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
84 What is the thinnest book in the world?

What Men Know About Women.
85 A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
86 Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and

suffering
87 How Dogs and Women are alike.....

Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.
89 If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?
97 Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs
spend their lives.
101 TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,

RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
102 Kya bindas hava chal rahi hai, birdy gaana ga rahe hain,
Cow log grass eat rahe hain,
shaane log SMS kar rahe hain
aur dhakkan log SMS padh rahe hain
103 Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.

Sagar se gahara koi nahi.
Aab aapki kya tarif karu...
Dost me aap jaisa...
Nalayak koi nahi!
104 A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW

Its Sweeter when its TRUE
But Its Sweetest when the friend is like U.
105 Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,
gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai,
tum kar do ek SMS yeh gujarish hai meri,
tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
106 Q. why do 18 sardar go for movie?
A. because below 18 is not allowed.
107 Sardar visits Chinese friend lying in hospital. Chinese friend just says CHIN YU
YAN and dies. Sardar ji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friend’s last words. It
is U R STANDING ON THE OXYGEN TUBE.
108 Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People

Kiss is not like Nike..Just Do It.
Kiss is not like Pepsi..Yeh Dil Maange More
But Kiss is like Pan Parag..Ek Se Mera Kya Hoga
110 If you fall in river there is a boat

if you fall in well there is rope
but if you fall in love there is no hope
115 You are like the sunshine so warm,

you are like sugar, so sweet...
you are like you...
and that's the reason why I love you!
116 Love is sweet poison:

Do not consume without your beloved's advise
and keep out of reach of children
and keep it in cool and dark place.
117 LOVE
L = Lake of Sorrows
O = Ocean of Tears
V = Valley of Death
E = End of life....
118 If you love someone, put their name in a circle,

instead of a heart, because hearts can break,
but circles go on forever
125 Meaning of Friendship : -
F-FOREVER
R-RESPONSIBLE
I-INTELLIGENT
E-EAGER TO MAIL
N-NICE
D-DIVINE
S-SIMPLE
H-HEARTILY
I-INTERESTED
P-PEACEFUL
130 Friendship is like a glass handle it with care because once broken
cannot be mended and even if mended.... a crack is always there !!!
133 If all my friends were to jump off a bridge,

I wouldn't jump with them, I'd be at the bottom to catch them.
137 A good Friend is like a computer

he ENTERS in your life SAVE himself
in your heart, FORMATS all your troubles
and never DELETE you from his heart.
142 When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God

that everyone should have a friend like you....
Why should only i suffer!!!
143 When u feel sad....

To cheer up just go to the mirror and say,
"damn I am really so cute" u will overcome your sadness.
But don't make this a habit.....
Coz liars go to hell !!!!
144 Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

This describes everything you're not
145 I saw your face as you walked by

but then I saw a better guy
146 I see your face when I am dreaming

That's why I always wake up screaming
149 Hey friend remember that without stupidity there can be no wisdom &
without ugliness there can be no beauty so the world needs YOU after
all!
Someday u may lose ur hair.

u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur mind.
But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.
coz u cant lose what u don't have!
Hi! i am marrying next week. there will be a small party and only a few
people will be invited...so i am inviting you...don't bring any gift with
you...just bring someone to marry me
Our friendship means a lot 2 me.

U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.
U jump out of the window...
I look down & then... i lauf again
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass & flowers 2.
If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn't it rain on you?
Roses are red, violets are blue

Monkeys like you, are kept in Zoo
Yaad mein teri aankhe bharta hai koi,

har saans ke saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut to sachai hai aani hai,
lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai koi....!
Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka ,

toh mohabbat ki detergent khusbudar nazar aati hai,
na koi aur hota kharid-dar SURF-EXCEL KA,
aur na dhulai RIN-SUPREME ki kam nazar aati hai...!!!
jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye

aur husn ke tewar nukile ho gaye
hum izhaar karne me thode dhiile ho gaye
aur unke haath peele ho gaye
Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste,

sama-e-mahefil mai roshni kam hai,
tum hamare nahi to kya ghum hai,
hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?
Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki

har taraf ujaala nazar aata hai
sochta hu ki ghar ki bijli katwa du
kambaqt bill bohat aata hai
jawaab teri shayari ka....

denge hum shayari mein....
naam tera likh baithe hain....
apne dil ki diary mein....
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,

Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon
Umeedo ki manzil toot gayi

aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
Kabhi honsla bhi aazmaana chahiye
bure waqt mein muskurana chahiye
jab 10 dino mein khujli na mite
to 11 ve din nahana chahiye
You r my sweet SONA

I don't want u KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai

Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye

waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai
Kaho Na Pyaar Hai
Kya mooh dukhta hai
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya

Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai

na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai
aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko
Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai
Jab i ne U se pyaar kiya

to night ko sleeping chor diya
tere face ki gentle beauty ne
mere kind heart ko phor diya
Promise me we are true friends

I am lamp you are light
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey
kayi raaz aise hote hain jo dikhaye nahi jaate

kayi kisse aise hote hain jo sunaye nahi jaate
kayi dil aise hote hain jo tode nahi jaate
aur kuch aap jaise dost aise hote hain jo chore nahi jaate.
Arz kiya hai.....
Aaj-kal aapke SMS aana band hai
wah wah! wah wah!
khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?
ha ha ha ha.....
Tammana se nahi tanhai se darte hain

pyaar se nahi ruswaai se darte hain
milne ki to bohat chahat hai
par milne ke baad judaai se darte hain
Dil torna humari aadat nahi

Dil hum kissi ka dukhate nahi
Bharosa rakhna meri wafaon pe
Dil mein bas kar hum kissi ko bhulate nahi
Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai

Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
Door waadiyoN mein dhundley badal chupkar parbat se milne ka intzaar

karte hain, Dil mein tamaam hasarteiN liye hum aapka intzaar karte hain
Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..

us khuda ne kuch aisa aapko bnaya hai...
maano..."Shhhsss...KOI Hai" se bhoot nikal aaya hai....
Is Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain

Tum bin hum bohat akele hain
Sab kuch chor kar tumeh e-mail karte hain
Dekho hum kitne vele hain
* vele = lazy (vele is a Punjabi word)
Har des ki ek sarhadd hoti hai

bache ki bhi ek zidd hote hai
aur kitna intzaar karru tere sms ka
Kanjosi ki bhi koi hadd hoti hai
Tum hoti to aisa hota, tum hoti to waisa hota

Tum is baat pe itna hasti, tum uss baat pe itna khush hoti,
Tum is baat pe ye kehti,tum uss baat pe wo kahati
shukar hai tum nahi ho!!!
Yeh jo haseeno ke baal hote hai,

larkon ko phassane ke jaal hote hai,
na jaane kitno ke khoon piye honge inhone,
tabhi to inke honth laal hote hai
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii....
Fiteh Mooh...Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
Hi Musharraf needs 500 donkeys to attack on India. 499 ja chuke, message

milte hi niklo...
Jaate hue kuch aisa kar ke jayo kaam

ki har galli se awaaz aaye..."ABBA JAAN"..." ABBA JAAN"
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain

Yeh to unke bache hee kamine hain,
Jo Mammu-Mammu bulaate hain.
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tarap raha hu ab aur na intzaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
Jis din se juda vo humse hue

is dil ne dharkna chor diya
hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra
taaro ne chamkna chor diya
Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi

yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi
shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum
itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi hogi
Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein

aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga
magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain..
Bari asaani se dil lagaye jaate hain

par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain
le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par
jaha diye nahi dil jlaaye jaate hain
☻ MORNING GREETING
Morning greetings doesn't only mean saying Gd Morning, it has a silent message saying:
I remember you when I wake up! Have a nice day!
☻ MORNING GIFT
Receive my simple gift of 'GOOD MORNING' wrapped with sincerity, tied with care
and sealed with a prayer to keep u safe and happy all day long! Take Care!
☻ GOOD MORNING
A night hug warms the heart, a night kiss brightens the day, and a good morning to start your
day!
☻ NITE HAS END...

Nite has end for another day, morning has come in a special way. May you smile like the
sunny rays and leaves your worries at the blue blue bay.
☻ THINGS TO NOTE B4 SLEEPING

ThinGs 2 TaKe NoTe WheN u SleeP: 1st-MiSS Me, 2nd-ThInk oF Me, 3rd-HuG Me,
4th-LoVE mE. TrY 2 SlEEp NoW & ClOSe Ur EyeS. Get PrePaReD 2 DrEaM oF mE!
Gd NiTe!
☻ HELLO
The Word 'Hello' means H=How R U? E=Everything all right? L=Like 2 hear 4rm U.
L=Love 2 C U soon. O=Obviously, I miss you!
☻: I PRAY 4 YOU
In its lovely nite, I pray 2 the blue moon 2 protect U thru the nite, the wind 2 blow away
ur stress N the twinkle stars 2 guide U the way, sweet dreams Gd Nite
☻ GOOD MORNING
The sun rises into the sky with the warmest smile, he wishes you a good morning,
hoping that you have the perfect day. Take care & miss you.
☻ NO MATTER
No matter the sky is black or blue, no matter there's stars or moon, as long as ur heart is
true, sweet dreams will always be wif u. Gd Nite!
☻ TIME 4 BED
da starz r out, da moon is up, 1 more HUG, 1 more smile, KISS u once, KISS u twice,
now itz time 4 bed. Close ur @@, n sleep tite!
☻ I CARE MOST
I was looking out the windows thinking about the person I care most & the person that
came into my mind is U so juz wanna wish u good nite.......
☻ STARS LIGHT
Stars light Stars bright u're the only Star I see tonite. I wish I may. I wish I might be
there guarding ur dreams tonite, gd nite sweet dreams
☻ NICE FRIENDS
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my everyday seems
so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...
☻ WASH UP
Wash your face and wash your feet! Now itz time 2 fall asleep. Yours eyes are weak N
mouth can't speak so hope tis nite shall b nice and sweet. Good Nite.
☻ COLD COLD NITE

On this cold cold nite,in My small small rOOm,i Look At The Brite Brite StArS iN tHe
DaRk DaRk sKy & DrEaM of uR sWeet sWeet SmiLe on ur CuTe CuTe FaCe!
GdNiTe!
☻ WINDOWS OF SOUL
Tireness draws across the mind making the body fade flexibility n soon windows of soul
begin 2 close N enter the dreamland! OYASUMINASAI! Sweet Dreams!
☻SOUL BACK FROM DREAMLAND

Your soul came back from dreamland reunited with a sleeping senseless piece of
yourself slowly open ur eyes realise its a brand new day. Good Morning.
☻ DRACULA KISS
As u go 2 bed 2nite, I ordered bats 2 guard u tight. I told some ghosts to dance in white,
& 2 make sure u r alryt, i'LL ask dracula 2 kiss ur neck goodnight..
☻ LAZY BONE WAKE UP!

The sun has once brought brightness to earth! lazy bone. it's time 2 wake up gd
morning...
☻ AS NITE FALLS
As nite falls upon the land, it is time 2 Zz again. With the moon hangin in the starlit sky,
i'm here 2 wish U NiteNite! Sweet dreams, cover blanket tight tight
☻ THE SUN HAD RISED

The sun had rised from the east & birds r singing happily & butterflies R around the
flowers. It is time to wake up & give a big yawning & say gd morning to u..
☻ SOMEWHERE OUT THERE
somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u somewhere out
there where dreams come true... nitenite & sweet dreams 2 u
☻3 GOOD MANNERS
3 good manners of male penis. 1) Courteous-it stands before performing. 2)Emotional-it
cries during the performance. 3)Polite-it bows down after the performance.
☻ PICTURE
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, than I can always look at
them. Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged.
☻MAN
Today, in style are small cars, watches, skirts and mobile-phones... It will come the time
when SMALL PENIS will be in style, and then you will be the man!!!
☻ COCUNUT
What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a 'C' ends with a 'T' and has U'
and 'N' in the middle? Answer: 'COCUNUT'
☻ SHOWTIME
Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it
means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S
SHOWTIME!
☻LEFT LEG, RIGHT LEG
What did the blonde's left leg say to her right leg? Between the two of us, we can make a
lot of money.
☻ CARS
Man1: my wife is obsess w/ cars. While asleep, she holds my bird & say
'Ferari,Porsche...' Man2: mine is worst, she puts my bird inside her & say 'Full Tank
pls.'
☻ DEPRESSED
A girl asked, why cow seems depressed when being milked? Teacher: if every morning
they rub yours 4 30 minutes and don't f**k u, u will feel the same?
☻ WE CAN MULTIPLY
Do you like maths, if so add a bed, subtract ur clothes, divide your legs and we can
multiply!
☻ GLOW IN THE DARK
I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we get
under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
☻ PENIS & BALLS

Penis & Balls arguing. Balls: Hey, U r very unfair! Everytime u go in u never bring us
along, only u enjoy! Penis: Eh, U think its fun? I always keep vomiting!
☻ STUPID PYJAMAS
Last night I desperately missed you I wanted to feel u on my naked body. I had to go to
bed without you....where are u stupid pyjamas.....!
☻BRUSH MY TEETH
I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh.. and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it
thrusts in and out, up and down... Can’t wait to brush my teeth
☻ RING
I wish I were a ring Upon my girlfriend's hand, 'Cause everytime she'd wipe her rear I'd
see the promised land....
☻ DUMB
What is the dumbest part on a man's body? The penis. It has a head with no brain, it
hangs out with two nuts and it lives around the corner from an asshole!
☻ SAGGY BOOB
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support
people are going to think we're nuts!
☻ BLOW JOB
What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Hold on to your nuts. This is no ordinary
blow job!
☻ COVER ME
What did the Dick say to the Condom? 'Cover me!!! I'm going in...'
☻ TITS DAIRY
I'd willingly fertilize Mary, And watch for 9 months her shape vary, From the very first
day, To the child-birth display, When her tits would turn into a dairy.
how do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell

☻Suspense you later !!!
At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun
☻Statistics fights 91milliom at a party and one sad fucker is reading this
SMS
☻Farmer Joneshas farmer Jones has got no sheep,
isn't life a drag?
coz they're all burning in a field
he's got no sheep to shag
☻Gary Gliter *Newsflash*
The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England
Coach.
The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the
under 15's
☻Ba Ba White Sheep ba ba white sheep grazing on sum grass when a maff official
shoots it up the ass burnt by mornin fumes fill the sky less meat
4 kebabs & shepherds pie
☻Leather Heather there was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made
of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by
flapping the edges together
☻Little Miss Drugy little miss drugy sat in a buggy smoking a pipe of weed along
came a spider skinned up beside her and sold her some acid and
speed.
Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill
☻Jack and Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT
PROPER
There was a young girl from Wick, who asked her mum what's
☻Dear Mammy love a prick, her mother said Annie it goes up your fanny and jumps
annie
up and down till it's sick.
This is a cock sucker detector
☻Cock Sucker Please blow in the phone..... .. scanning....
Detecotor The test was positive 90percent sperm breath...
COCK SUCKER !!
Dad, what does a vagina look like before sex?
A pink rose with loveley details.
☻Pink Vagina And after sex?
Boy, ever seen a bulldog eating maiyonnaise?
Bad wolf told red riding hood. Lift your top so i can suck your
tits.
☻Red Riding Hood No she said lifting her skirt.
Eat me like the fucking book says!
☻Fuck for money sex is good sex is funny many people fuck for money
but if you think sex is funny fuck yourself and safe your money
☻YOU ARE WANTED
The Police are looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy, witty & very good looking... So
where are you going to hide Me?
☻TALKING DIRTY
When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to
a man, it's $3.95 per minute.
☻GIVE ME ALL YOUR $$$
MONEY: can buy a house, but not a HOME. can buy a clock, but not TIME. can buy
sex, but not LOVE. So pass me all ur $ n let me suffer 4 U
☻WRONG NUMBER
U've got SEX APPEAL ... U've got INTELLIGENCE ... U've got CLASS ... U got da
FACE, U got da BODY ... I got the wrong number ... SORRY
☻PHONE ENGAGE
hey! what happen 2 your hp? tried calling alot of times. everytime i dial your no,
operator kept sayin 'THE SUBSCRIBER U CALLING IS HAVING SEX, PLS TRY
LATER'
☻KENTUCKEY
A woman is like a Kentucky fried chicken, it has legs ,breasts and a greasy box to stick
your bone in.
☻TWINKLE LITTLE STAR

Twinkle, twinkle little rectum bigcockscum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion
whoop it up with doggy fashion.
☻OLD MAN
There was an old man from gosham,
who got out his bollocks to wash'em,
His wife said oh jack if you don't put'em back,
i'll stand on the bastards and squash em!!!(new)
☻ARSE ICONS
(_!_) Regular arse
(__!__) Fat arse
(!) Tight arse
(_*_) Sore arse
(_o_) Well used arse
(_e=mc2_) Smart arse
(_x_) Kiss my arse
☻The Alpahbet
a-ur attractive
b-ur beautiful
c-ur caring
d-ur delicious
e-ur exciting
f-ur funny
g-ur gorgeous
h-ur heavenly
I-IM
J-JUST
K-KIDDING
L-LOSER!
I worte your name in the sand but it got washed away, i wrote your name in the sky
but it got blew away, i wrote your name in my heart where it will stay...
Recent studies have revealed that homosexuals use their thumbs to scroll through
their text messages. Don t try & change 2 your finger, its 2 late Gaylord!
What Is A KiSS? Its An UPPER PRePERATION 4 A LOWER INVASION That Will Lead 2
FURTHER PENETRATION IN FAST ACCELERATION That Will BUILD THE NEXT
GENERATION
Whats the closest thing 2 a woman's period? Ure salary - it comes once a month,
lasts about 3 or 4 days & if it doesn't come u're Fucked!!
Kissing is a habit,Making love is a GAME! Guys get pleasure, Gals get pain! He says
love u & believes its TRUE.. but wen tummy gets bigger, he say 'Hell to U'
Bak 2 bak,front 2 front,on d table,lick d cunt,stick it in,do ur ting,do it hard & make
her sing,tense ur body feel d cum,den let it rip into her bum!
Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in her gob, Wiv a
tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin a fuckin good job!
Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just
like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
Heres one: Im an alien. Ive transformed your phone into the shape of my tit, and
now you're playing with it. I know u like it because youre smiling!
WHEVER WE R 2GETHER THAT B OUR HOME 4 A HOME'S WHERE PEOPLE LOVE
Mum: If a guy touches ur boobs say "DONT", & If he touches ur twat say "STOP".
Girl: "Mum he touched both so I said DON'T STOP"
WHEVER WE R 2GETHER THAT B OUR HOME 4 A HOME'S WHERE PEOPLE LOVE
Why are woman referred to as Hurricanes? When they come, they are wet and wild
and when the leave they take the house and car with them.
I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me
till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias
Q: When is a pixie not a pixie?
A: When hes got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a goblin.
A girl looks at a man’s tattoo: NIKE on his arms, REEBOK on his legs, she screamed
when she saw AIDS on his penis. "Relax" he said, if it erects, it reads ADIDAS.
Q: What is the difference between a 69 and driving in the mist?
A: When driving in the fog, you cant see the asshole in front of you
Girl: Im like a radio,my mouth spkr,my left breast
tuner, right 1 volume. Man:Can I try?(touches d
breats)-no sound. Girl:U havent plugged in yet!
Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your

breasts, than I can always look at them. Wife: Let me
take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
The sky is blue,grass is green,harder the fuck the

louder the scream,louder the scream the better the
fuck,give me a ring u might be in luck
☻Q:Who is stronger, Man Or Woman? A:A woman bcos she

lifts 2 mountains on her chest while a man lifts 2
stones with the help of a crane.
☻A husband was asked: Do u talk to your wife after sex?

His answer: Depends, if I can find a phone.
☻Son on his honeymoon phoned his mom asking what 2 do.

MOM:Put ur biggest thng on her hairiest thng. SON:got
my nose in her armpit. Now what?
☻LUV D WAY IT RUBS AGAINST D SOFT PINK FLESH N MAKES A

CREAMY FOAMY LIQUID AS IT THRUSTS IN&OUT,UP&DOWN,CAN`T
WAIT 4 NEXT TIME.LUV MY TOOTHBRUSH
☻May this new year bring many opportunities your way, to explore every joy of life
and may your resolutions for the days ahead stay firm, turning all your dreams into
reality and all your efforts into great achievements.
☻Every man should be born again on the first day of January. Start with a fresh
page. Take up one hole more in the buckle if necessary, or let down one, according
to circumstances; but on the first of January let every man gird himself once more,
with his face to the front, and take no interest in the things that were and are past.
☻New Year's Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good
resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
☻The new year begins in a snow-storm of white vows.
☻For last year's words belong to last year's language

And next year's words await another voice.
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
☻We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them
ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.
☻Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink and swore his last
oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we
shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient
shortcomings considerably shorter than ever.
☻People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year,
but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and
Christmas.
☻And ye, who have met with Adversity's blast,

And been bow'd to the earth by its fury;
To whom the Twelve Months, that have recently pass'd
Were as harsh as a prejudiced jury -
Still, fill to the Future! and join in our chime,
The regrets of remembrance to cozen,
And having obtained a New Trial of Time,
Shout in hopes of a kindlier dozen.
☻Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect,
and thank God that it can go.
☻Each age has deemed the new-born year

The fittest time for festal cheer.
☻Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no
account.
☻Glory to God in highest heaven,

Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.
☻A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and
damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any
little strain will snap it.
☻But can one still make resolutions when one is over forty? I live according to
twenty-year-old habits.
☻I do think New Year's resolutions can't technically be expected to begin on New
Year's Day, don't you? Since, because it's an extension of New Year's Eve, smokers
are already on a smoking roll and cannot be expected to stop abruptly on the stroke
of midnight with so much nicotine in the system. Also dieting on New Year's Day
isn't a good idea as you can't eat rationally but really need to be free to consume
whatever is necessary, moment by moment, in order to ease your hangover. I think
it would be much more sensible if resolutions began generally on January the
second.
☻New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those
tests come back positive.
☻We meet today

To thank Thee for the era done,
And Thee for the opening one.
☻One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the
little things.
☻Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out
the Old Year.
☻A happy New Year! Grant that I

May bring no tear to any eye
When this New Year in time shall end
Let it be said I've played the friend,
Have lived and loved and labored here,
And made of it a happy year.
☻It wouldn't be New Year's if I didn't have regrets.
☻We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of
work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we
ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for
potential.
☻May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions.
☻He who breaks a resolution is a weakling;

He who makes one is a fool.
☻The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we
should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and
new eyes. Unless a particular man made New Year resolutions, he would make no
resolutions. Unless a man starts afresh about things, he will certainly do nothing
effective.
☻I think in terms of the day's resolutions, not the year's.
☻Time has no divisions to mark its passage, there is never a thunder-storm or blare
of trumpets to announce the beginning of a new month or year. Even when a new
century begins it is only we mortals who ring bells and fire off pistols.
☻I made no resolutions for the New Year. The habit of making plans, of criticizing,
sanctioning and molding my life, is too much of a daily event for me.
☻New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save

as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls and humbug resolutions.
☻Every man regards his own life as the New Year's Eve of time.
☻The only way to spend New Year's Eve is either quietly with friends or in a
brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to
be left in tears.
☻Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is
when you're forced to.
☻An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up
to make sure the old year leaves.
☻Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.
☻A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.
☻Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new
year find you a better man.
☻No one ever regarded the First of January with indifference. It is that from which
all date their time, and count upon what is left. It is the nativity of our common
Adam.
☻New Year's Day is every man's birthday.
☻The merry year is born

Like the bright berry from the naked thorn.
☻Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom
that experience can instill in us.
☻Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it's twice as onerous a duty.
☻New Year's eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the
universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of
another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts
this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.
☻The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has
taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the
coming twelve months!
☻Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
☻Ring out the old, ring in the new,

Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.
☻Take time to be friendly-it is a way of happiness
☻Between two evils, choose neither. Between two goods, choose both
☻The shortest way to do many thing is to do a single thing at a time.
☻Think you are well, and all that is well with you. And nature will read your thoughts and make them
true
☻Be true to yourself and others. Do not try to appear better or greater than what you are.
☻Troubles which are tackled instead of being talkedabout, dissappear like mist before the morning sun
☻Undertake not what you cannot perform but be careful to keep your promise.
☻Forget injuries, but never forget kindness
☻Learn something new each day-keep your eyes, ears and most of all your mind open.
☻Pray as if everything depended work as if everything depended on you.
☻In success and failure, in sunshine and rain, in prosperity and adversity be at peace with the world and
with yourself.
☻The way you manage your time determnes your success or failure as a man.
☻Honour the chief. There must be a head of everything.
☻Be glad and rejoice in the other fellow's success. Study his methods.
☻Do not attempt to do a thing unless you are sure of yourself; but don't relinquish it simply because
someone else is not sure of you.
☻Do not express dislike for a person when (s)he is not present to offer a defence.
☻Prayer is the first duty in life; And to plead lack of time for it is an insult to GOD.
☻Who agree like bell; they want nothing but hanging.
☻Anger is a short madness. Don't allow it to ruin longstanding reations.
☻Nothing is bad but it might have been worse.
☻Loyalty to friends and loyalty to certain basic principles are essential to success in any sphere.
☻Instead of feeling inferior because someone else can do something you cannot do, concentrate on what
you can do that others cannot.
☻To be angry is to revenge the fault of others on us
☻As heat conserved is transmitted into energy, so can anger controlled can be transmitted into a power
which can move the world.
☻Our errors are steps on the way.
☻A fool may be known by six things :anger without cause, speech without profit, change without
progress, enquiry without object, putting trust in a stranger, mistaking foes for friends.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THE ABOVE QUALITIES??????
☻It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for wt you are not.
☻Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
☻You will never find time for any thing. If you want time you must find it.
☻If you want people to think well of you do not speak well of yourself.
☻Our prayers should be for blessing in general, for God knows best what is good for us.
☻If you shed tears when you miss the sun; you also miss the stars.
☻You may make mistakes, but you are not a failure until you start blaming someone else for it.
☻ANGER is only one letter shorter than DANGER.
☻The man who has done less than his best have done nothing.39.The world makes way for the man who
knows where he is going.
☻Think more about what you can make happen than about what happens to you.
☻Stand for truth even at the expense of losing popularity.
☻For every minute of anger you lose sixty seconds of happiness.
☻Do not do to others that which would anger you if others did it to you0D
☻Failure establishes only this, that our determination to succeed was not strong enough.
☻Write injuries in dust, benefits in marble.
☻Be clean in all matters and you will never be ashamed.

☻Saying "I did not find time " shows you did not WISH to do it.
☻People who believe a problem can be solved tend to become busy solving it.
☻If you don't think every day is a good day try missing one!
☻Learn to hide your heartaches and woes under a pleasant smile.
☻Every good thought is a star which leads you on, shining in the dark, making your pathway radiant.
☻Those who do not have goals are doomed to work for those who do.
☻Be thankful if you have a job that is harder than you like. A razor cannot be sharpened on a velvet.
☻When you long for something, it means you love it.
☻DON'T ever give up before you have solved the problem you are facing.
☻Don't say things. What you are stands over you and thunders, so nobody would hear what you say on
the contrary.
☻Think that day lost whose decending son has seen no worthy action done.
☻We weave a tangled web when we first practise to deceive.
☻Love is only chatter. Friends are all that matters.
☻The heart has its reasons, which, reason does not know.
☻Tommorow I will live, the fool says. Today is too late. The wise lived yesterday.
☻It is better to forget and smile rather than remember and be sad.
☻The more hot arguments you win the more good friends you lose.
☻Face the situation fearlessly and soon there will be no situation to face.
☻Mistakes fail in their missin of helping the person who blames them on others.
☻Do not worry about failure. Worry about all the chances you miss when you don't try.
☻Be sure you are right and then go ahead.
☻That sorrow is heavy which bows the head, when love is alive nad hope is dead.
☻The truth that's tild with bad intent beats all lies you can invent.
☻In life knowing how to lose is just as important as knowing how to win.
☻Think in the morning, do it in the afternoon, eat in the evening,sleep in the night.
☻If hardwork is you weapon then success will be you slave.
☻Women's heart is soft but if it becomes hard, a diamond also cannot stand it.
☻Though you are travelling on the right path, if you take unneccessary breaks others will push you back.
☻Thankfulness should be expressed, but you shouldn't ask for it.
☻Love is all in fire and yet freezing,

Love is much in winnig , but is more in loosing.
Love is ever sick and yet is never dying,

Love is ever true and yet is ever lying,
Love does doath in liking and is mad in loathing,
Love indeed is everything, yet indeed is nothing.
☻It is important to follow rules rather than to make rules.
☻A person in front of whom you dare to be yourself is you trues friend.
☻Never express to the world what you can do. Show the world by doing it.
☻See that you are needed to atleast one person in life.
☻It is better for us to feel bad rather than to make others feel bad.
☻What you don't like happening to yourself, don't do it to others.
☻Miracles do occur, but one has to work hard for them to happen.
☻Show appreciation of the smallest services by your loved ones and employees.
☻The higher we are places, the more humble should we walk.
☻It is attitude rather than your aptitude which determines your altitude.
☻Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts and don't put on with people who are recless with yours.
☻Don't waste your time with jealousy. Sometimes you are ahead, sometimes behind. The race is long and
in the end its only with yourself.
☻Be nice to you sibling. They are your best link to your past.
☻Understand that friends come and go. But you should hold on to a precious few.
Don't expect anyone else to support you at any point.
Dream as if you will live forever. Live as if you will die today.
When I hear someone say "life is heard" I am tempted to ask "compared to what"-Sydney J Harris.
If you are too careful, you are so occupied in being careful that you are sure to stumble upon something-
Gertrude Stein.
A hero is no braver than a ordinary man, but he is braver five minutes longer-R W Emerson.
I'm so unlucky that if I was to fall into a barrel of nipples I'd come out sucking my
thumb.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone
hasn't met me yet.
For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.
What is similar to a woman's period?

Ur salary - coz it comes once a month, last about 5 to 6 day and if it doesn't come it
means u r in deep trouble.
Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.
"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing on and

got hit by a bus."
The heart and the brain are neighbours, but they will never be friends.
Women know that they are not that pretty any more when they have nothing to wear.
What do you have to do when you fall into a river with a sign "Forbidden to swim?"
Kissing you baby is my dream.Im the strawberry & ur the cream.Handle me gently
keep me real keen.U & i together babes is passion so extreme!
what kisses mean!KISS ON HAND=i adore u KISS ON CHEEK=lets b friends KISS ON
NECK=i want u KISS ON LIPS=i love u KISS ANYWHERE ELSE=...lets not get carried
away!
There are 12 months a year...30 days a month...7 days a week...24 hours a day...60
minutes an hour...but only one like you in a lifetime.
There are two reasons why I wake up in the morning: my alarm clock and you.
Great minds contain ideas, solutions and reasons; scientific minds contain formulas,
theories and figures; my mind contains only you!
Love can be expressed in many ways. One way I know is to send it across the
distance to the person who is reading this.
If I could change the alphabet, I would put U and I together!
Minsan caring is better than loving. Minsan tea is better than coffee. Minsan smile is
better than laughter. Pero nobody is better than you.
There is night so we can appreciate day, sorrow so we can appreciate joy, evil so we
can appreciate good, you so I can appreciate love.
You look great today. How did I know? Because you look great everyday.
What is love? Those who don't like it call it responsibility. Those who play with it call
it a game. Those who don't have it call it a dream. Those who understand it call it
destiny. And me, I call it you.
What is love? It is what makes your cell phone ring every time I send text
messages.
If love can be avoided by simply closing our eyes, then I wouldn't blink at all for I
don't want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.
I used to think that dreams do not come true, but this quickly changed the moment I
laid my eyes on you.
Press down if you miss me. Talaga? Sweet mo naman. You really miss me huh? Still
pressing down. Impressed na ako, ha? Sobrang miss na yan. Well, I miss you too.
Some people were born with talents. They can do beautiful things with their skills,
knowledge and technology. But no one is as talented as you. You just come near,
and there is already beauty.
A lady is a woman who makes a man behave like a gentleman. You're such a lady to
me.
To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me

never. Forget this text, but not the sender.
When situation gets you down, remember there's Someone in Heaven who loves you
and watches over you and there's someone on Earth who cares… I do.
Cell phones can be irritating sometimes. You always have to reload, recharge every
now and then. Messages are delayed. But there's one thing I love about it. It
connects me to you!
Words begin with ABC. Numbers begin with 123. Music begins with do, re, mi. And
friendship begins with you and me!
Rain and sunshine do not always come together. Night and day never coincide. But
you and I, whatever they say, is for me the perfect match.
When I dream, I dream of you...maybe one day, dreams will come true.
There is an ocean between us. Forests and mountains keep us apart. I may not be
superman, but give me a second and I will fly across countries to send you my love.
Have you received it?
If, out of time, I could pick one moment and keep it shining, always new, of all the
days that I have lived, I'd pick the moment I met you.
I'm on a mission to get over you, in other words mission impossible.
I wish I'd be a tear in your eye to roll down your cheek and end up with your lips but
I never wish you'd be a tear in my eye for I would lose you every time I cry.
When it rains, you don't see the sun, but it's there. Hope we can be like that. We
don't always see each other, but we will always be there for one another.
I may run out of message to text you. I may run out of jokes too. I may also run out
of battery or even a peso but my heart won't run out of space for you!
You'll know that you miss someone very much when every time you think of that
person, your heart breaks into pieces and just a quick "Hello" from that person can
bring the broken pieces back.
Love. All my life I have read about it, dreamt of it, waited for it, cried for it, needed
it. Now with you, I have found it.
Sherlock Holmes was an idiot and Robert Watt was a fool. One was a detective, the
other invented radar. But neither of them ever discovered you. I'm a genius!
When the time comes I can't smile anymore, don't worry about me, I know what to
do. I'll just stare at one corner and think of you. No one else could make me happy
like the way you do.
There's a love that only you can give, a smile that only your lips can show, a twinkle
that can only be seen in your eyes, and a life of mine that you alone can complete.
Everyone wants to be the sun that lights up your life. But I'd rather be your moon,
so I can shine on you during your darkest hour when your sun isn't around.
Ah-- I forgot your name. Can I call you mine? And, in case you forget my name too,
call me yours!
If I had the letters "HRT", I can add "EA" to get a "HEART" or a "U" and get "HURT".
But I'd rather choose "U" and get "HURT" than have a "HEART" without "U".
You may never see how much I care for you. You may never hear how much I
treasure you. You may never feel how much I miss you. Coz only here in my heart
can you see them true.
There are 4 steps to happiness: 1. you, 2. me, 3. our hearts, 4. together!
If kisses were water, I'd give you the ocean. If hugs were leaves, I'd give you a
forest. If love were space, I'd give you a galaxy. If friendship were life, I'd give you
mine for free.
It's hard to say hello because it might be goodbye. It's hard to say I'm okay because
sometimes I'm not. But it's easy to say I miss you coz I know that I really do.
It's hard for two people to love each other when they live in two different worlds. But
when these two worlds collide and become one, that's what you call you and I.
If you're feeling lonely and you think there is nobody there to love, support, listen or
show they care, just save this message and every time you realize it, it will remind
you that a part of me is always there with you.
Roses are red, violets are blue. I am waiting to hear from a cute guy like you.
They say that as long as there is one person loving you, life isn't a waste. So if you
lose hope and thought that life is not worth living, just remember I'm here.
Do you know that men and women are angels created with only one wing? And they
need to embrace each other to be able to fly... Hope you can find your angel whom
you can fly with forever.
They told me I could do anything if I put my mind into it. Yet no matter how hard I
try in all that I do, I just can't take my mind off you.
My biggest reward is to see you smile, know you are happy, and feel you are loved. I
know life is sometimes cruel, but that's why I'm here, to show you that life can be
good when somebody cares.
I always think of you, but I always fail to know the reason why. Is there something
else I should know about you? But there is one thing that I know is true. That life will
always be sad without you.
Hatred infects the mind; love dissolves it. You dissolve my mind.
Don't say you love me unless you really mean it cause I might do something crazy
like believe it.
I'm afraid to close my eyes coz I might think of you. I'm afraid to open them coz I
might see you. I'm afraid to move my lips coz I might speak of you. I'm afraid to
listen coz I might hear my heart fall for you.
I'm sorry to be smiling every time you're near. I'm sorry my eyes twinkle whenever
you're here. I'm sorry that cupid has made his hit. I'm sorry I love you, I can't help
it.
Caring for someone is easy but making someone care for you is hard. Now I keep
wondering how did you make it so easy for me to care for you.
Text me when you are sad, text me when you need someone to listen to and you
can't find anyone who will. I don't care if I'm your last option, I just don't want you
to cry alone.
I don't want to say I miss you, though deep inside I do, coz I'm afraid you might see
thru and know how much fear I have of losing someone like you.
If love can be avoided simply by closing our eyes, I wouldn't blink at all for I don't
want to let a second pass having fallen out of love with you.
I wish one day you will miss me terribly that no matter how hard you look for me,
you won't find me. Why? Because, I want you to miss me the way I'm missing you
right now.
If I could be any letter in the alphabet, I'd choose "V" so I can be next to "U"; if you
could be any note, I wish you're "RE" so your always beside "ME"!
Whatever you do, I'll walk with you. Hoping that your every dream would come true.
Anytime, anywhere, I'll always be there. Wishing you love and happiness because I
care.
The spaces between our fingers were created so that another person's fingers could
fill them in. Hope you'll find your dream hand to hold you forever.
Every part of me wants you, maybe because I was made just for you!
When you love someone, draw a circle around their name instead of a heart coz
hearts can be broken but circles never end.
Nobody tells fish to swim, birds to fly, cows to moo, dogs to bark - they just do. Just
like nobody tells me to remember you. I just do!
If you were a wound inside my heart, I'd rather leave it there with all the pain locked
inside than leave it without a trace of you.
Whenever you feel blue, I will be there for you. Whenever you are sad, I will stay by
your side. Whenever you need someone to love, I will always be there for you to
have.
They can recycle paper till it's as good as new, reproduce cans and jars and old
bottles too, but they can never recycle another person as wonderful as you.
I hate when you smile at me because you make me crazy about you. I hate when
you talk to me because you make me run out of words. I hate you when I see you
because you make me love you more.
What good is beauty without brains, looks without charm, money without happiness,
a smile without feelings, a life without you?
To be disturbed by the beep of your phone only means that somehow, somewhere,
somebody is thinking of you and at this very moment, that's me. Take care always.
A person you love is an extension of yourself. Without it, you're not complete so
better take care of yourself because I don't want to lose a part of me.
I wish my eyes could speak what my heart feels for you, coz my lips can lie on what
is true. My eyes couldn't coz even if I close them I could still see you.
Every time I hear my text tone, I always hope one of them is from you. My cell
phone may have limited memory space but my heart has unlimited space for
someone like you.
I have you! If you hate me, shoot me with an arrow, but please not on the heart coz
that's were you are!
Someone asked what makes people happy. Some said wealth and some said fame. I
was thinking about this when my cell phone beeped and received a text from you.
Then, I smiled and said: "This makes me happy."
You're like a target that I always try to aim at. How I wish I could aim you at the
heart. But every time I fail, I feel so sad. You know why? It's because I always end
up missing you.
It was a simple crush, done and over with, then you looked at me.
Love is something special, a treasure I want to find... To others, love is blind but for
me, its not true, coz when I fell in love...I saw you.
I'll lend you my shoulder for you to cry on, my ears to listen to, my hand for you to
hold, my feet to walk with you, but I can't lend you my heart coz it already belongs
to you.
Why do birds fall from the sky every time you walk by? Maybe because like me they
want to be near you!
If I get takot, would you hawak me tight? If I gawa something mali, would you make
it right? If I build an apoy, would you bantay the flame? If I sabi I miss u, would you
ramdam the same?
Do you take me to be your lawfully wedded text mate, in sickness or in health,

through metering or not, till low bat do us part?
Someone once asked me, "Have you ever fallen in love?" Then I answered, "Of
course, once." Then they asked me another question: "Did it hurt?" I thought of you
and told them "Yes, very much".
You must be a thief coz you stole my heart. You must be tired coz you're always
running through my mind. And maybe I'm a bad shooter coz I keep missing you.
I asked God for a rose and He gave me a garden. I asked God for a drop of water
and He gave me an ocean. I asked God for an angel and He gave me you!
I have heard from the phone company, the water company, the electric company,
but haven't heard from you. Too bad, it's your company I love the most.
If someone would ask me what a beautiful life means, I would lean my head on your
shoulder and hold you close to me and answer with a smile: "Like this!"
If only one star would fall every time I miss you, then all the stars in heaven would
be gone. Don't wonder if there are no stars tonight! It's your fault coz you made me
miss you a lot.
Life may sometimes be a rough road to walk on where everything seems wrong. But
don't give up. Just go on coz when you think you're all alone, look back and you'll
find me walking along.
They say as long as at least one person cares for you, life isn't a waste. So when
things go terribly wrong, and you feel like giving up, please remember you still got
me.
True love is hard to find, special one, one of a kind. I know because it appeared to
me on a strange day I met you.
I've been wondering why you're not texting... Multiple Choice: a. busy b. dedma c.
tired d. thrifty e. want me to miss you.
While you gave her flowers, you gave me thorns. While all she did was smile, all I
did is mourn. While she was so happy, I felt so blue. Because while you loved her, I
was loving you.
An angel asked me a reason why I care for you so much. I told her I care for you so
much coz there's no reason not to.
First time I saw you, I was scared to touch you. First time I touched you, I was
scared to kiss you. First time I kissed you, I was scared to love you. But now that I
love you, I'm scared to lose you!
If love is a disease then I'm very ill. But I would not want medicine and won't take
any pill. I would instead suffer this illness and be bedridden with joy of knowing you.
I will walk with you side by side for only one condition: hide your wings every time
we walk together because the whole world might know that you're my angel!
Each of us is an angel with one wing. The only way we could fly is to hold each other
and share wings. So if you have trouble flying, I will always share mine with you.
I used to think that the world is so unfair, that it gave me so many reasons to hate
it. But now, how can I hate such a wonderful world that gave me you?
Can I say I love you today? If not, can I ask you again tomorrow? And the day after
tomorrow? And the day after that? Coz I'll be loving you every single day of my life.
A day may start or end without a message from me, but believe me it won't start or
end without me thinking of you. See! I just did. Take care.
You greeted me hi, I didn't reply. You gave me a sweet smile, I responded with a
sigh. You showed me your love, you received a shrug. But when you bid goodbye I
began to cry
A man, after being hurt, calls 911 for help where sardar G is the operator.
Man: Operator, call me an ambulance!
Sardar G: O Okay Ji, youre an ambulance!
Linked:1/2 little Johnny returns frm school & says he got an F in maths.
Father:why?
The teacher askd how much is 2x3? I said 6 bt thts right! Thn she askd me how
much is 3x2?
Father: whts th stupid difference?
Johnny, thts exactly wht I said
Lawyer:now tht u hv been acquitted,wl u tell me truly?Did u steal the car?
Client:after hearing yr amazing argument in court,im beginning to think I did not.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge
that makes dogs chases cars they have no intention of driving.
Hello I m a virus & entering your brain right now ……
Sorry I have to leave, I can’t find the brain.

If 100% of the people love u.Make sure I m one of them.If 99% hate u.Make sure I m
remaining 1%.If 100% hate u,Make sure.I m dead.So remember me in ur prayers,
<>
YOU CAN USE THESE COOL FRIENDSHIP MESSAGES TO SMS

YOUR FRIENDS.
Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need
u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u will never die.
One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will
say: my life… You will walk away from me without knowing that U R MY
LIFE!!!
Feel good when somebody Miss u. Feel better when somebody Loves u. But
feel best when somebody never forgets u.
A friend is sweet when its new….but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But u
know what? Its sweetest when its you.
A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have
nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious a
friend is u.
If kisses were water, I will give u sea. If hugs were leaves, I will give u a
tree.If u luv a planet, I will give u a galaxy, if friendship is life I will give u
mine.
Friendship text messages
People live People die People Laugh People Cry Some give up Some will try
Some say hi Some say bye Others may forget YOU but never will I.
If I were to be anything in this world…. I’d be you tears!!!… So, I can be

conceived in your heart, born in your eyes, live on your cheeks & die on your
lips!!!!!
If u r a chocolate u r the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most

huggable, If u are a Star u r the Brightest, and since u r my “FRIEND” u r
the “BEST”!!!!!!!!!
A special friend is rare indeed, it beems to be special breed, yes, perfect

friends r very few, so lucky I m for having you.
They say it takes a minute 2 find a special person, an hour 2 appreciate

them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2 forget them.
When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your
wish for today? “I said : please take special care of the person reading
this!!!!!!!”
Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces but I will
always be THANKFUL that once in my life’s journey we became FRIENDS!
It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them. I am
lucky to have spent less than half my life finding you & wish to spend the
rest keeping you.
In my life I learned how… 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work
hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I couldn’t learn how.. 2 stop
rembering u.
A memory lasts forever, and never does it die. True friends stay together
and never say good bye.
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because
hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body.
Wait. Sorry, wrong number!
Of all the gifts, big and small, your friendship is the greatest of them all.
A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!
The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake
up, remember me as a friend who is always there for you and never let you
down
Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final
copy.
The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please
report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any
inconvenience.
If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because I'm
your friend!
Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I like
you, you're my friend!!!
Nostalgia is not what it used to be.
Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a
post office!
Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to
receive friends. And a garden full of memories.... of many good things.
You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a
true friend !
A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is
of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!!
Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be the most beautiful one on earth.
Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!
No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and
its warmth ... will bring it to us
There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses last only a
while ... but friendship is for ever
I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a

forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me
you
Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know
they're there!
Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them
is me ...
I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you
are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend
!!!
When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted

by a storm....
My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.
When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own
fault.
A friend is someone who knows when you need her...
A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you my friend.
If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands.
Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.
A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it
for you when you have forgotten it
Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others
tell after you die
You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together,
but you are only real friends when you also cried together.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.
Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.
A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can dance and
jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to cry, come and borrow
it!
I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I was not
born, everyone would like to know why.
The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other
people happy.
Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.
A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
I MaY Not Be a cLocK ThaT maY TexT yOu 24hrs a DaY But My HeArt Will bE
LikE a CloCk ThAt will nOt sToP CarIng & SayInG U r aLwaYs RemeMbEreD.
TakE CaRe.
The times we shared is like shooting star... the time is short but really
beautiful moments.... Forever engraved in our hearts.... Friends forever~!!!
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep

them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm
keeping U..
We've known each other by CHANCE, became friends by CHOICE, still

friends by DECISION. And when we say FRIEND FOREVER, that's definitely a
lifetime PROMISE!
If friends were flowers I would not pick you! I'll let you grow in the garden
& cultivate you with love and care so I can keep you as a friend 4ever!!
When i'm walking in front of u,I'm protecting u. When i'm beside u i'm there
for u, when i'm behind u, I'm watching over u. When i'm alone,I'm thinking
of u.
A ring is round and has no end.... and that's how long I'll be your friend.
There is a gift that gold cannot buy, a blessing dats rare & true, dats the gift
of a wonderful friend like the friend dat i have in u!
Wat u see as truth wat u see as lies remember that true friendship never
dies although we may change & drift apart, ill always value u deep within
my heart!
A friend is never a coincidence in your life, they are meant to enter your life
to bring you joy and laughter. So, i will treasure the friendship between us.
Everyone hears what you say... Friends listen to what you say... Best friends
listen to what you don't say...
Friends are like stars. You can't always see them, But you know they are
always there for you...
Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave
footprints in your heart.
As long as we have memories, yesterday remains; as long as we have hope,

tomorrow awaits. As long as we have Friendship, each day is never a waste.
Good frenz are like quilts... it never loses its warmth...
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if

He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u

ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL
tHeRe...
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are
like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but
how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go
but how U hold oN!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have

An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me,
come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE
REACHED!
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be,

but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is

DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME &
beyond DISTANCE!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels
but I call them my best friends.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love
with you was completely out of my control.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our

friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet
again.
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat
loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true
friends.
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED

tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL
NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

lifetime PROMISE!
my heart!
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh..
I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again..
hahaha

Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine:
it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining
brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends,

Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take
the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from
worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR
FRIEND
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be
thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...
Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough
$money$ you can buy them back.
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my

everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet
dreams...
I have seen angels in the sky… I have seen snowfall in july… I have seen
things u only imAgine to see… But I haven’t seen anything sweeter than u.
There r many stars but the moon is u, there are many friends but the best is
u, To forget me that’s up to u,,, To forget u I will never ever do.
U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach
but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be
special to me!!
How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2
fall when wind exist? How can u tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.
Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways And if Ever I
Have to Let you go………..I would Find a million reasons to make u stay!!!!
If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if I were

In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven wont be
heaven without u.
Life is 4 u, death is 4 me, being happy is 4 u, being sad is 4 me, being

together is 4 u, being lonely is 4 me, everything 4 u but u r 4 me.
If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put it back
in the sky to let everybody know how colorful my life is with a friend like u!!
Never say ur happy when ur sad… never say ur fine when ur not ok… never
say u feel good when u feel bad… and never say ur alone when I m still
alive.
Sometimes my mind asked why? I miss u, Why? I care 4 u, Why? I

remember u then my heart answered its simply b’coz you are a sweet
friend!!
Love text message.
The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the
one thing we never give enough is love. -Henry Miller
• Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and
whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish
much, and what is done in love is done well. -Vincent van
Gogh
• Love is the emblem of eternity; it confounds all notions

of time; effaces all memory of beginning, all fear of an
end. -Madame de Stael
• If you truly love someone, then the only thing you want
for them is to be happy....even if its not with you.
-Lauren&L
• I have no regrets. I will never regret loving someone

because the feeling of love for five minutes is greater
than an eternity of hurt. -Kurt Langner
• Expect the people you love to be better. It helps them to

become better. But don't get upset when they fail. It helps
them keep trying. -Anonymous
• The beginning of love is to let those we love be

perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own
image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves
we find in them. -Thomas Merton
• When you feel cold and warm at the same time, when you
read over the same line for the tenth time, when your heart
and thoughts somehow appear to rhyme, and when a simple
name conquers your whole mind, then you are in deep trouble
my friend... you are in what they call, "love".
• Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of

marrying the whole girl.
• You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.
• "A bell's not a bell 'til you ring it A song's not a song
'til you sing it Love in your heart wasn't put there to
stay Love isn't love 'til you give it away!"
• Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and

trusting them not to.
• Pure love and suspicion cannot dwell together: at the

door where the latter enters, the former makes its exit.
• Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth
move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.
• Men love because they are afraid of themselves, afraid of

the loneliness that lives in them, and need someone in whom
they can lose themselves as smoke loses itself in the sky.
- V.F. Calverton
• Absence is to love as wind is to fire; it extinguishes

the small and kindles the great. -Roger de Bussy-Rabutin
• Trouble is a part of your life, and if you don't share
it, you don't give the person who loves you a chance to
love you enough. -Dinah Shore
• Love is missing someone whenever you're apart, but

somehow feeling warm inside because you're close in heart.
-Kay Knudsen
• Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to

get, it's what you are expected to give -- which is
everything.
• Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want
them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they
have.
• You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, she is

beautiful because you love her.
• You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but

by seeing an imperfect person perfectly. -Sam Keen
• Immature love says, 'I love you because I need you.'

Mature love says, 'I need you because I love you.' -Erich
Fromm
• If you have love in your life it can make up for a great

many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what
else there is, it's not enough. -Ann Landers
• Love at first sight is easy to understand; it's when two

people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that
it becomes a miracle. -Amy Bloom
• The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do,

something to love, and something to hope for. -Allan K.
Chalmers
Funny
If u want success in life; be Sweet like Honey, Regular like Clock, Fresh like Rose, Soft
like Tissue, Strong like Rock, Sure like Death & smart like ME.
• Sometime my mind asks why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you?
Then my heart answers it's simply because mental patient needs more care.
• Q: What's the difference between gud & bad gals? A: Gud gals loosen a few buttons
when its hot, bad gals make it hot by loosening a few buttons!
• If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I
would only like a brain that has never been used.
• Can I go to the theatre? Asks a mosquito to her mother.

Yes, but be aware, pay attention during the applause.
• Q: Why do men fart more often than women?

A: Because women do not keep their mouth shut long enough to build up the pressure.
• Namaskar. This is All India Anti -Sleep Association Mid Night Service. Our Aim is 2
Disturb the Sleep of Others. Thank You.
• A Guy picks up a girl for the date. Why are u wearing ur belt around ur knee.?
Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.
• Tussi brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind,
ideal sohne sunakhe Punjabi gabru da sms par rahe ho.
• When you get this SMS, send it to 1 person u love, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of and 1 u
wish to kill. Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u.
My goal is to be a failure! If I reach my goal, I'll be successful and if I don't reach my

goal, I'll still be successful.
• Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome you are, it is not your figure too,
beauty is the inner self, so change your underwear daily.
• Jab tum hanstey ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehle bandar tha!

Dekho gussa mat karo kyonki jab tum gussa karte ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi bandar
hai.
• Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you
get your shitty ideas from!
• Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming 2 her
husband, Darling, Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids.
• Yamraj ne ek ladke ki jaan le li. Chitragupt- Iss ko waqt se pehle kyon mara?
Yumraj: Kya karun, March end mein target jo pura karna tha.
• • Hi! Need one girl to marry... Age no bar, color no bar, height no bar, caste no bar, but
girl's father must have his own bar...CHEERS
• A young man asks a kind priest: Father is it a sin to sleep with a girl?
Father: No my child but the problem is that u guys never sleep.
• Yaad mein tumhari mujhe loose motions lag gaye hain. Hain to ye aanso per lagta hai
raata bhatak gaye hain.
• Can't believe that after all the shit that's happened between them, they are still together.
Who?
Ur bums.
Osama to Big B: How are you??

Big B: Bas Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham. And you?
Osama: Bas Kabhi Gola Kabhi Bum.
• Q: What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?

A: A Moti-vaiting.
• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo pure samaj ko khatam kar deti hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko
khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.
• Y does Waheeda Rehman never changes her saree in the film GUIDE?
Coz Dev Anand says: O mere humrahi, meri baanh thame chalna, badle duniya SARI,
tum na badalna.
• Gujju lover: Darling mere kaan me kuch halka sa, kuch narm sa, Kuch namkin sa, Kuch
mitha sa kaho!
Premika: Dhokla.
• Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few sweets
n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U.
• Be careful when a guy tells u that he loves u from the bottom of his heart for this may
mean that there is still enough space for another girl on top.
• Like energy, love can neither be created nor destroyed. It can just be transferred from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
• Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about
others & legends never talk, they send SMS.
What's the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you & torture
is thinking of you too much.
• Banta: How does an attorney sleep?

Santa: First he lies on one side, and then he lies on the other.
• Every organisation is like a tree full of monkeys. Ones at the top can only see monkeys
below them and ones at the bottom see only assholes above them.
• I hate it when people point to their wrists to ask for the time! I mean, seriously, do I
point to my crotch when I need to go to a Restroom?
• A reasent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart end gud lukeeng maik manee
spallings meestaikes... vaat ees yorr opeeniun?
Flirt
• Of all the gifts, big and small, your friendship is the greatest of them all.
• A friend is someone who knows when you need her...
• Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways And if Ever I Have to Let you go???..I
would Find a million reasons to make u stay!!!!
• A Friend is Sweet when its NEW****Its Sweeter when its TRUE****But you know that its the
sweetest when it is U
• I've seen angels in the sky,****I've seen snow fall in July,****I've seen things
• you could only imagine to see or do,****But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!
• Do you believe in love at first sight****or do I have to walk by again??
• You look so fine!I want to...****break your heart and give you mine
• I've seen angels in the sky,****I've seen snow fall in July,****I've seen things you could only imagine
to see or do,****But I still haven't seen anything sweeter than you!
• SOMEWHERE OUT THERE
• somewhere out there beneath the pale moon light someone thinkin of u
• somewhere out there where dreams come true... nitenite & sweet dreams 2 u
• NICE FRIENDS
• A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my
• everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet dreams...
• I have seen angels in the sky? I have seen snowfall in july? I have seen things u only imAgine to
see? But I haven?t seen anything sweeter than u.
• Life is full of beautiful things: soft sunsets, painted rainbows, delicate blossoms, luv & laughter,
quiet moments & fantastic people like me. Enjoy it!
• Seeing u smile is more than enough to pay for all the hardships & difficulties that I have to go
through that day. Have a good smiley day!
Urdu
Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

tera chehra khila khila
jab tere chehre per haath ghumaya
to aadha kilo fair & lovely mila
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,

RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARNE ME bare le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho...!
Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,

Masjid mein adaab karta hoon,
Insaan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke paap karta hoon
Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai

Mohit : - Beta vo abhi SMS padh raha hai.
Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri,
Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye

waha Haritik bhi jhukta hai
Kaho Na Pyaar Hai
Kya mooh dukhta hai

Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya
Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai

na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai
aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko
Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai
Jis din se juda vo humse hue

is dil ne dharkna chor diya
hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra
taaro ne chamkna chor diya
Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi

yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi
shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum
itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi hogi
Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein
aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga
magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain...
Umeedo ki manzil toot gayi

aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi
Kabhi honsla bhi aazmaana chahiye

bure waqt mein muskurana chahiye
jab 10 dino mein khujli na mite
to 11 ve din nahana chahiye
Arz kiya hai.....

wah wah
khafa ho humse ya balance kam hai?
ha ha
Tammana se nahi tanhai se darte hain

pyaar se nahi ruswaai se darte hain
milne ki to bohat chahat hai
par milne ke baad judaai se darte hain
Dil torna humari aadat nahi

Dil hum kissi ka dukhate nahi
Bharosa rakhna meri wafaon pe
Dil mein bas kar hum kissi ko bhulate nahi
You r my sweet SONA

I don't want u KHONA
I want a place in your heart's KONA
Otherwise i will start RONA
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA
Jab i ne U se pyaar kiya

to night ko sleeping chor diya
tere face ki gentle beauty ne
mere kind heart ko phor diya
Yaad mein teri aankhe bharta hai koi,

har saans ke saath tujhe yaad karta hai koi,
maut to sachai hai aani hai,
lekin teri judaai mein har roz marta hai koi....!
Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka ,

toh mohabbat ki detergent khusbudar nazar aati hai,
na koi aur hota kharid-dar SURF-EXCEL KA,
aur na dhulai RIN-SUPREME ki kam nazar aati hai...!!!
jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye

aur husn ke tewar nukile ho gaye
hum izhaar karne me thode dhiile ho gaye
aur unke haath peele ho gaye
Fun
 If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me, come to
me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!
 I want u 2 know that our Fun means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U jump
out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha
 God created the earth,****God created the woods, ****God created you too, ****but yes,
even God makes mistakes!
 Someday u may lose ur hair.****u may lose ur teeth- ur money & even lose ur
mind.****But 1 thing u will never loose is ur good looks.****coz u cant lose wot u don't have!
 You've got Sex Appeal... You've got Style... You've got Intelligence... You've got Class...
You've got D Face... & You've got D Body... & I've got the wrong number! Sorry!
 Last nite I lay in bed, looking at the stars, the beautiful sky and the endless horizon....
and suddenly I thought... where the hell is my roof?
 The animals of a jungle have decided to hold a meeting. The lion, tiger, elephant,
monkey hv come.. But The meeting hasn't started. Guess why ? Because the Donkey is busy
reading this SMS !
 A - U'r Attractive B - U'r D Best C - U'r Cute D - U'r Dear 2 me E - U'r Excellent F - U'r
Funny G - U'r Gud Looking H - He He He I - I'm J - Just K - Kidding
 I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. I Love You. That's because
God says "Love to All" !
 Dark were those days, without your sight. When I was in darkness, you gave me light.
You gave me strength 2 make life bright. Thank you so much PHILIPS TUBELIGHT !
 Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends, Charming,

Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?
 If I ever go for a brain transplant I’d like 2 use ur brain. It's not because u r a genius. I would
only like a brain that has never been used.
Guest: "Why does your dog sit there and watch me eat?"
Hotel Host: "I can't imagine, unless it's because you have the plate he usually eats from."
SURD:Excuse me sir, what time is it?

MAN:It's 3:15.
SURD: (puzzled) You know, it's the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each
time I get a different answer.
One day a man was going on the street. He met a man who asked him what had happened to his ears as
both ears covered with bandages.
He said: "I was ironing my clothes when the phone bell rang. Instead of picking up the phone, i pick up
the iron, so i burnt my ear."
The man asked "So what happened to your other ear?"
He said "That same stupid guy called again"
This one little boy in about 4th or 5th grade was trying out for a school play. He earned a part and went
home to tell his father.
His father was really proud of him. So his father asks what part did you get?
He replies I got the part of a man who has been married for 25 years.
His father congratulated him. And then he said "That's good son, maybe next time you'll get a talking
role!"
Customer : Bhai kab se wait ker raha hoon khana abhi tak tayyar nahi howa?
Hotel Wala : Bhai sahab kahan tu 3 din pehlay se tayyar hai bas gharam ho raha hai.
Pehla Pagal : Ager tum batao kay is Box mein kia hai tu ye anda tumhara
aur ager tum ye bata du kay ye kitnay anday hain tu 5 kay 5 tumharay aur
ager tum ye bata dogay ye kis kay anday hain tu wo morgi bhi tumhari.
Dosra Pagal : Yaar koi hint tu du.
Teacher : Which is more important to us, the sun

or the moon?
Pupil: Moon...
Teacher : Why?
Pupil : The moon gives us light at night when we
need it but the sun gives us light only in the day
time when we don't need it.
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.
Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes.
I noticed their Disney password was "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto," and asked why it was so long.
"Because," my son explained, "they say it has to have at least four characters."
How2kill a mosquito:catch it alive,put it in bed upside down,tie its legs by thread and confirm that it
will not move.then do kichu kichu in its stomach.Then d mosquito wil laugh by opening its
mouth,catch its mouth n if u pour a table spoon of poison d mosquito wil die
2 sardars robbed d bank S1:we have to count d money now..To divide among our selves...!
S2:tension kyu lethe mamu kal news paper me atha na...
Sardar: Shirt Ke Liye Badhiya Kapda Dikhana? SaLeSMan: PLAIN Main Dikhau? Sardar: Hawaai
Jahaaj Tak Jane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai? Yahi Dikha Dona!
Samunder kinare baithe ho,kbhi to leher aegi,Samunder kinare baithe ho,kabi to leher aegi,chupke
se usme susu KAR DENA,kisiko SMELL nai aaegi
Sardar's Wife: pls don't drive the bike fast. i'm very Frightened. Sardar: if u feel Fear, u Better close
ur EYES, LIKE ME..!
A girl went 2 doctor & said-my BoyFrind is a BASTARD. Dr asked-why? She says-he kissed me. Dr
kisses & asks-like this? So wat? She says-he threw my clothes. Dr-like this? So wat? She says-he
had sex with me. Dr-like this? So wat? She says-then he told me that he has AIDS! Dr
says-"BASTARD"...
girl askd a plastic surgen 2 make another hole near her ass. Surgen ws surprisd & askd, why?
Girl :"Business is gud,so,opening a new branch.
Man: Oye tera ek daant neela kaise ho gaya? Sardar: Yaar mein ink lagayi hai. Man: Woh kyon?
Sardar: Kyon ki aaj kal BLUE TOOTH ka jamana hai yaar.
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover
on the girl.
Sardar:Raat muje ek aadmi ne chaku dikhakar loot liya. Friend:Lekin tere pas to hamesha Gun hoti
hai. Sardar-Wo maine chupa di thi, varna wo bhi chori ho jati.
Theater me naripradhan film chal rahi thi. Ek Ladki khadi ho kar josh me boli: aaj ki nari kya nahi
kar sakti? Ek sardar khada ho kar bola, DEEWAR PE SUSU.....
Sardar ko uska sasur maar raha tha Y? bcoz,his wif deliverd a baby & doctor msgd him"mubarak ho
ap baap bangaye" and he forwarded da same 2 all his freinds .
Santa & Banta were walking in the highlands then suddenly Santa fell down a deep hole.
Banta: Are you ok?
Santa: Fine thanks!
Banta: Did you break anything?
Santa: No, there's nothing down here!
Chinto gets 0 marks in paper.Father asks him wat is it.Chinto replies:Teacher ke paas STAR khatam
ho gaye to PLANET dene shuru kar diye
Flowers need sunshine, violets need dew, all angels in heaven know I need
u. years may fly, tears may dry, but my friendship with u will never die.
One day u will ask me: What is more important to you, me or your life? I will
say: my life… You will walk away from me without knowing that U R MY
LIFE!!!
Feel good when somebody Miss u. Feel better when somebody Loves u. But
feel best when somebody never forgets u.
A friend is sweet when its new….but it is sweeter when its TRUE! But u
know what? Its sweetest when its you.
A friend gives hope when life is low, a friend is a place when you have
nowhere to go, a friend is honest, a friend is true. A friend is precious a
friend is u.
If kisses were water, I will give u sea. If hugs were leaves, I will give u a
tree.If u love a planet, I will give u a galaxy, if friendship is life I will give u
mine.
People live People die People Laugh People Cry Some give up Some will try
Some say hi Some say bye Others may forget YOU but never will I.
If I were to be anything in this world…. I’d be ur tears!!!… So, I can be

conceived in ur heart, born in ur eyes, live on ur cheeks & die on ur lips!!!!!
If u r a chocolate ur the sweetest, if u r a Teddy Bear u r the most huggable,

If u are a Star u r the Brightest, and since u r my “FRIEND” u r the
“BEST”!!!!!!!!!
A special friend is rare indeed, it beems to be special breed, yes, perfect

friends r very few, so lucky I m for having you.
They say it takes a minute 2 fine a special person, an hour 2 appreciate

them, a day 2 love them, but then an entire life 2 forget them.
When God opened the window of the Heaven He asked me: What is your
wish for today? “I said : please take special care of the person reading
this!!!!!!!”
Time might lead me to nowhere and faith might break into pieces but I will
always be THANKFUL that once in my life’s journey we became FRIENDS!
It takes half our life to find true friends & half of it keeping them. I am
lucky to have spent less than half my life finding you & wish to spend the
rest keeping you.
In my life I learned how… 2 love 2 smile 2 be happy 2 be strong 2 work

hard 2 be honest 2 be faithful 2 forgive but I couldn’t learn how.. 2 stop
rembering u.
Always draw a circle around the ones you love, never draw a heart because
hearts can be broken, but circles are never ending.
U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body.
Wait. Sorry, wrong number!
Of all the gifts, big and small, your friendship is the greatest of them all.
A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!
The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake
up, remember me as a friend who is always there for you and never let you
down
Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final
copy.
The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please
report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologize for any
inconvenience.
If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because I'm
your friend!
Whenever I see your smiling face, I have to smile myself, because I like
you, you're my friend!!!
Nostalgia is not what it used to be.
Those who think that things happen too fast are expected in a bank or a
post office!
Make your life a house your heart can live in. With a door that is open to
receive friends. And a garden full of memories.... of many good things.
You cannot buy friendship, you can earn it. If someone comes for help, be a
true friend !
A friend is always welcome ... Early in the morning or late at night. Time is
of no importance ... When it concerns real friendship!!
Friendship is a wonderful word, it might be the most beautiful one on earth.

Friendship is something powerful, a gift of great value!
No gold or precious stones ... give us happiness and peace, friendship and
its warmth ... will bring it to us
There is a big difference between friendship and a rose... Roses last only a
while ... but friendship is for ever
I asked God 4 a flower, he gave me a garden. Asked 4 a tree, he gave me a

forest. Asked 4 a river, he gave me an ocean. Asked 4 a friend, he gave me
you
Friends are like stars... you don't see them all the time, but you know
they're there!
Life is not easy and it will never be, but you've got friends and one of them
is me ...
I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you
are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend
!!!
When friendship is deeply rooted, it is a plant that cannot even be uprooted

by a storm....
My "aim" in life is: die young when I am very old.
When you are lazy, you cannot help it. When you are tired, that is your own
fault.
A friend is someone who knows when you need her...
A ring is round and has no end, so is my love for you my friend.
If my head looks like yours, I'd shave my rear end and walked on my hands.
Mirrors should be able to think before reflecting the images.
A friend is someone who knows the song of your heart and who can sing it
for you when you have forgotten it
Friend: someone who tells you things while you are alive, things that others
tell after you die
You can eat and drink together, talk and laugh together, enjoy life together,
but you are only real friends when you also cried together.
Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.
Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.
A little clown is living in my heart. Small and very special. It can dance and
jump, laugh and sing. Are you in pain and you need to cry, come and borrow
it!
I would not call myself important, but I am convinced that when I was not
born, everyone would like to know why.
The only good thing about your own mistakes, is that is might make other
people happy.
Not the lack of love, but the lack of friendship makes marriages unhappy.
I MaY Not Be a cLocK ThaT maY TexT yOu 24hrs a DaY But My HeArt Will bE
LikE a CloCk ThAt will nOt sToP CarIng & SayInG U r aLwaYs RemeMbEreD.
TakE CaRe.
KeEping a FRIEND is As Difficult AS losing one. U sacrifice A lot To keep

them. I may not have sacrificed enuf 4 u... but in my HEART I swear I'm
keeping U..

lifetime PROMISE!
When i'm walking in front of u,I'm protecting u. When i'm beside u i'm there
for u, when i'm behind u, I'm watching over u. When i'm alone,I'm thinking
of u.
my heart!

Good frenz are like quilts... it never loses its warmth...
GOD is so wise that he never created FRIENDS with pricetags, Because..... if

He did, I can't afford a precious FRIEND like YOU!!!
thE tEst oF fRiEndsHip dOseN't cOmeS wHen u R 2GethEr. It cOmEs wHeN u

ParT waYs & u ReaLizE tHat dEsPitE tHe dIsTanCe, thE fRiEndshIp iS sTilL
tHeRe...
True friends are like Diamonds... they are real and rare. False friends are
like leaves... they are scattered everywhere.
FRIENDSHIP isn't how U forGet but how U forGive, Not how U liSten but
how U UnderStand, Not what U see but how U feel, and not how U Let Go
but how U hold oN!!!
FriEndSHiP iS A PRiCeLeSs GiFt tHaT cAn'T Be BoUgHt Or SoLd, BuT To Have

An UnDeRsTaNdiNg FriEnd iS FaR MoRe WoRtH tHaN GoLd~!
If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me... If you need me,
come to me... If you need money... ........... THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE
REACHED!
FRIENDSHIP is like a tree... It is not MEASURED on how TALL it could be,

but is on how DEEP the ROOTS HAVE GROWN...
In this WORLD, where everything seems UNCERTAIN, only one thing is

DEFINITE. You'll always be my FRIEND, beyond WORDS, beyond TIME &
beyond DISTANCE!
I believe in angels, the kind that heaven sends. I'm surrounded by angels
but I call them my best friends.
Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love
with you was completely out of my control.
The ship that will never sink is my friendship with you.
I met U as a stranger, I leave U as a friend, as long as the world stands, our

friendship nv ends. All friends nv split N even if they do they will meet
again.
I always thought loving some1 was the greatest feeling, but I realised tat
loving a friend is even better, we lose ppl we love but we never lose true
friends.
EveRyDay I seE LoTs oF StRangErS PasSiNg By mE, ThiS mAkeS mE reAlisED

tHat, LifE woUlD be BORING, WiThoUt A FriEnD LiKE U...
We gain and lose things every day. But trust me on one thing: YOU WILL
NEVER LOSE ME! I will always be there as a friend!

lifetime PROMISE!
my heart!
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh..
I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again..
hahaha

Never abandon old friends. They are hard 2 replace. Friendships is like wine:
it gets BETTER as it grows OLDER. Just like us... i get BETTER, u get OLDER.
The sun is glazing, upon the sunlight i see the path of our friendship shining
brightly knowing that it is so great to have a friend like YOU! :)
Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking, Nice Friends,
Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?
If U need a friend and there are a hundred steps between us, you can take
the 1st step to get near me and i will take all 99 step to be there for you.
6 rules to be HAPPY: Free your heart from hatred; Free your mind from
worries; Live simply; Expect less; Give more & Always have ME as UR
FRIEND
Time might lead me to nowhere; Fate might break me apart; I'll always be
thankful that once, along my life's journey I found a friend like U...
Friends are like a head of hair. You might lose some, but with enough
$money$ you can buy them back.
A day is going to end again. It is nice to have a friend like U making my

everyday seems so great. Thank U my good friend lastly gd nite n sweet
dreams...
I have seen angels in the sky… I have seen snowfall in july… I have seen
things u only imAgine to see… But I haven’t seen anything sweeter than u.
There r many stars but the moon is u, there are many friends but the best is
u, To forget me that’s up to u,,, To forget u I will never ever do.
U may be out of my sight, but not out of my heart, U may be out of my reach
but not out of my mind.I may mean nothing to u but u will always be
special to me!!
How can u tell the rain not 2 fall when clouds exist? How can u tell the leaves not 2
fall when wind exist? How can u tell me not to fall in friendship when u exist.
Knowing a friend like u has made me happy in a million ways And if Ever I
Have to Let you go………..I would Find a million reasons to make u stay!!!!
If I m in hell & u in heaven, I always look up & be proud of u. but if I were

In heaven & u in hell, I beg God 2 send me down coz heaven wont be
heaven without u.
Life is 4 u, death is 4 me, being happy is 4 u, being sad is 4 me, being

together is 4 u, being lonely is 4 me, everything 4 u but u r 4 me.
If I could pull down the rainbow I would write ur name with it & put it back
in the sky to let everybody know how colorful my life is with a friend like u!!
Never say ur happy when ur sad… never say ur fine when ur not ok… never
say u feel good when u feel bad… and never say you r alone when I m still
alive.
Sometimes my mind asked why? I miss u, Why? I care 4 u, Why? I
remember u then my heart answered its simply b’coz you are a sweet
friend!!
A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a
day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat
everything to men."
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"
A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid
and so beautiful all at the same time."
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me
stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
during a quarrel Husband said to wife: "Be careful," You will bring out the animal
in me." .
"So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse?"
YOU ARE As innocent as a flower,As sweet as cherry pie,As beautiful as a sunset,As

bright as a firefly,As clever as a musician,As romantic as a red rose,As genuine as a
teardrop,As funny as a clown’s nose,As honest as a young child,As fun as a merry-go-
round,As rare as a four leaf clover,As down-to-earth as the ground,As friendly as a
butterfly,As precious as passing youth,As gorgeous as miss world is,As valuable as pure
truth.
☻if ur askin if id hurt u da ansa is nevaif ur askin if i luv u da ansa is 4eva.if ur askin
if i want u da ansa is i do.if ur askin wot i value most da ansa is u
☻If luvs a disease den im very ill.but i dont want medicine i wont take no pill.i will
suffer dis illness cos it makes me see exactly how much u mean 2 me!
☻If i were a tear in ur eye i wood roll down onto ur lips.But if u were a tear in my
eye i wood never cry as i wood be afraid 2 lose u!
☻If Love & Friendship could be brought or sold as if they were Stocks &
Shares.those wise enough to invest in you SEXY would all be millionaires!!!
☻If water was a kiss id send u the sea.if a hug was 1 leaf id send u a tree if luv
were forever id send u eternity!
☻If i rote ur name in d sky wind wood blow it away.if i rote ur name in d sea waves
wood wash it away.But ur name is engravd in my heart where nothin can touch it!
☻if u love me like u told me please be careful wiv my heart- u can take it jus dont
break it or my world will fall appart
☻If a kiss was a raindrop i'd send u showers.if a hug was a second i'd send u
hours.if a smile was water i'd send u a sea.if love was a person i'd send u me!
☻ KNOWING YOURSELF
Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone
else and expect them to know you.
☻ WHO YOU TRUST
There's always going to be people that hurt you so what you have to do is keep on
trusting and just be more careful about who you trust next time around.
☻ GRATEFUL
Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that
when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
☻ WASTING YOUR TIME
Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
☻YOUR SMILE
Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love
with your smile.
☻ YOU CAN'T...
The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have
them.
☻ BEAUTIFUL MOON
I look at the moon, the moon is beautiful... I look at you.. I.. I... I'd rather look at the
moon again.. ;)
☻ TYPE OF EGGS
There r 6 types eggs. Chicken egg = ji dan, Duck egg = ya dan, Bomb = zha dan, Person
readin dis = hun dan, if u r smilin nw = chun dan & if angry = ben dan.
☻ VALUE OF LIFE
The value of life does not depend on the length of time on this Earth but rather on the
amount of love given and shared to the people we care about.
☻ MEN!
Mental anxiety, Mental breakdowns, Menstrual cramps, Menopause... Did you ever
notice how all problems begin with MEN!
☻ FRIENDSHIP MEANS...
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh. U
jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha
☻ HEARTBREAKS
Heartbreaks will last as long as you want and Cut as deep as you allow them to go. The
challenge is not how to survive heartbreaks but to learn from them
☻ This sms can only be
read by a SEXY person:
Try again...... Nothing?
Sorry, i guess your just not
SEXY..HEY! dont force it,
ugly git!!
☻ Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
☻ Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly
undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.
☻ Don't be sad... don't feel blue... Frankenstein was ugly too...
☻ Wat's the diff between pulling a curtain and a panty? ANS: When U pull a curtain, it
means tat the show is over. But pulling down a panty means IT'S SHOWTIME!
☻ I really, deeply wish tat u r here wif me in my room, on my bed & lights is off & we
get under the cover together.. 2 show u my.. new watch tat glow in the dark
☻ What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support
people are going to think we're nuts!
☻ Why are women like parking spaces?... Bcoz the good ones are always taken and the
rest are all disabled!
☻ A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I
went over. Nobody was home
☻ According 2 Chinese Docs, a WoMaN'S BoDy HaS Five RooMS: 1.FACE-show
room 2.BOOBS-play room 3.TUMMY-store room 4.VAGINA-men's room
5.ANUS-emergency room
☻ Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching.....
searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
☻ RECIPE 4 LUV CAKE:spread legs,squeeze + massage milk pots,check frequently
with midfinger,add banana,work in-out till well
☻ I once had a One2One with a virgin, she teased me till i had an Erikson, sucked me
till my face went Orange, till busted my Siemen all over her Nokias!
☻ Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the
kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
☻ NEWSFLASH:) Earthquake in Pakistan...50,000 dead...U.S.A sending money, France

sending food, Britain sending replacement paki's!!!
☻ i went for a walk with my uncle jim, when somebody threw a tomato
at him, tomatos dont hurt i replied with a grin. they fucking well
do when theyre still in the tin.....
☻ Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming,
funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
☻ Beat me bash me bite my bum, ill whip u strip u til u cum, suck me fuck me lick me
out, pull my nipples til i shout
☻ Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just
happy that cows can't fly!
☻ sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temtation, putting his location in a woman's
destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
☻ BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy
☻ GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
☻Advantages of breast milk

A. No need to boli
B. Cat cannot steal
C.available in attractive containers
D.Liked by all age groups
E.Ek Par Ek FREE
☻23 useless things in a man's body

20 nails cannot be hammered
2 balls u cannot throw
1 cock cannot crow
Don't laugh gals ur pussy cannot catch mouse
Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u

☻Cocktail randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum!
☻Triplets or Twins I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
☻satisfy a woman HOW 2 SATISFY A WOMAN; caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate,
spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect &
love.HOW 2 SATISFY A MAN; blow job
☻Life is like a dick Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
☻Rainbow Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy
got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
☻Love & War LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of
you!
☻Little Girl When i was a girl,i had a little quim,i sat upon my bed & put a
finger in,now im a woman & full of grace & charm,I can get
4fingers in & HALF MY FUCKIN ARM!!
☻Virginity Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall?
A)walnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest?
☻Question Time A)chestnuts
Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin?
A)a mouth full of cock!
QUESTION)Wots the difference between ur job & ur girlfriend?
☻The Truth ANSWER)ur job always sucks!!!!!
☻Pringles Sex is like a pack of Pringles! Once you pop, you can't stop!!
A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st
☻Marriage woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!
WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!
U NO UR GETTIN OLD IF
1)if ur age woz ur shoe size theyd b a mile long
☻Getting Old 2)doin it 5 times a nite means gettin up to piss
3)the only way u get a 69 is playin bingo
Of all the babes ur my selection,please dont giv me a rejection,my
☻Baby Please teeth are clean for ur inspection,so giv my mouth a tongue
injection!
HOW MANY ANIMALS CAN U FIT IN A PAIR OF TIGHTS?
☻Pair of tights? 10 little piggies,2 calves,1 ass,1 pussy,1 beaver,loads of hares & 1
smelly fish!
Sex+drugs+rock+rave,lets get drunk & misbehav,on weed+speed
☻Sex+drugs +little e's,well get drunk & talk 2 trees,u only live once & den u
die,so fuck em all & lets get high!
Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS
1)dey r always out of order
2)dey stink
☻Men like toilets 3)the nice ones r always engaged
4)dey consume large amounts of liquid
5)r constantlt full of shit!
☻Mary's bush Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes
☻Horny me so HORNY!!!
5 BAD THINGS 2 SAY 2 A NAKED GUY
1)so dis explains ur car!
2)but still work,right?
☻5 bad things 3)r u cold?
4)shood i get a pump?
5)so i guess dis makes me d early bird!
☻Hickory, dickory, Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock
dock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block
☻Mary had a little Mary had a little lamb,she kept it in da backyard,wen she took her
lamb panties off,his wooly dick got hard!
☻Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked
Pumpkin eater her twice around da head, Fucked her arse & went 2 bed!
Being a student is so much fun,wen u have degrees in playin wiv
☻Being a student tongues,if u be my teacher in how tongues flex,we'll both graduate
in hot oral sex!
Shes down on her knees,Eager to please,Wiv a throb of his nob in
☻Down on her Knees her gob,Wiv a tingle in his belly,his legs turn to jelly cos shes doin
a fuckin good job!
A cat tries 2 get a sausage out of a river,but gets its paws wet,then it
☻Cat and the Sausage sees a bigger 1 but falls in!MORAL OF THE STORY?The bigger
the sausage the wetter the pussy!
Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan &
☻Oral sex quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur
lips and start again!
☻Mary's bike Mary had a little bike,she rode it bak 2 front,all the time the wheels
went round the spokes went up her cunt
☻NewsFlash *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000
tampons for ?1, No Strings attached but for a limited period
ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
☻Nutella I love when you stick your little fingers in me deep and lick it all .
Love always , Nutella.
☻U and the Pope do u know what's the diference between U geting laid, and the pope
geting laid?? if the pope gets laid, it's a sin, and if U get laid, its a
miracle!! :)
☻Old Days in days of old wen knights were bold + condoms wernt invented
they tied socks around their cocks + people like u were prevented.
Sex, Drugs, Rock and Roll
Speed, weed and birthcontrol,
☻Sex, Drugs + lifes a bitch, then u die,
Birthcontrol so fuck the world
lets get high..
Kiss's r blown + kiss's r wasted kiss's rnt kiss's unless they r tasted,
☻Kiss Me kiss's spread germz + germz hated, so kiss me BABE im vacinated!
How many letters are in the Alphabet?? Nineteen. Because ET
☻How many letters went Home on a UFO and the FBI went after him!
last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon
☻My Roof? and the sky.... then I thought where the fuck is my roof??
mary had a little lamb,its name was little ralph,its burnin in a field
☻Foot and Mouth right now cos its got foot and mouth
What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
☻Blondes Some traffic signs say stop
This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too
☻Operator dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start
jumping on it . Thank you
☻Blonde Womens what did the blondes womens left leg say to the blonde womens
legs right leg? don't know they never met!
Pleas turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry
☻This Way Up 370HSSV 0773H
This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it
i
il
i lo
☻I love you i lov
i love
i love y
i love yo
i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!
Mary had 2 little lambs their names were Jack and Gypsy. One day
☻Mary's Lambs they got foot and mouth and now they're black and crispy.
Group of sheep in field, one says i dont feel well. The others reply
☻Sheep shut the fuck up your get us all shot.
☻Butter Your teeth are so yellow, i can't believe it's not butter!!!
☻Condom factory Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
☻Yo Mama Yo mama's so ugly, even the elephant man paid to see her.
Mary had a smelly minge with pubes as dark as charcoal.So most
☻Mary Stinks the men go round the back and stick it up her arsehole!
mary had a little lamb she also had a duck, she put them on the
☻Mary's Duck mantlepiece to see if they would fuck
whats the difference between a mini tampon..a middle tampon and
☻Tampons a large tampon?....they r all stuck up cunts!
☻As much use as a one legged man at an arse kicking competition
☻She's angrier than a Bear with a sore head
☻She's dressed up like a Dogs dinner
☻About as useful as a Condom vending machine in the Vatican.
☻He's that useless he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery

☻She's been up and down more times than a whore's drawers
☻She's been engaged more times than a telephone switchboard!
☻He's tighter than a photo finish.
☻He's sweating more than a Dog in a restaraunt
☻He's got a head balder than a baby's arse.
☻He's got the dress sense of an Oxfam model.
☻He's got a nose like a blind carpenter's thumb.
☻Last time I saw a face like that it was hanging at the Hunter's Lodge.
☻As much use as a trap door on a lifeboat
☻It's colder than a penguin's bollocks
☻She's got a face like a picture - it needs hanging
☻You've got about as much chance as finding a vegetarian pit bull terrier
☻She's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard
☻As rare as a Blonde virgin
☻I've seen more hair on a billiard ball
☻He's as camp as a row of tents
☻I've seen better teeth on a worn out gear box
☻They call her 'The radio station' cuz she's so easy to pick up
☻As useful as a grave robber in a crematorium
☻You could park a bike on that bum
☻He's as red as an overdrawn account at the local blood bank
☻He's got a face as long as an undertakers tapemeasure
☻Whiter than a pair of Snow White's knickers

☻About as innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field.
☻They've got a picture of her at the hospital - it saves using the stomach pump
143
143 means?
Do u want to know what it means?
Press Down..
It means ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE.
Tomorrow I will teach u 144.
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2
marry ur daughter!
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain
simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her
husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile
makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He
said, "Call for backup."
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my
son u should see the one who is reading this!!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no
cover on the girl.
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a
brain.
Confidence and Confidential Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential Dad says, u are my
son, I am Confident. Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential.
Sign post outside our collage- "Drive Carefully! Dont kill the Students, Wait for the Lecturers!".
A small kid wrote to Santa Clause, "send me a brother". santa wrote back, "send me ur mother".
Scientists all over the world r wondering how long a human being can live without a brain... Kindly
tell them ur age...
What happened 2 ur network? I tried 2 call u but the operator said "Welcome 2 the jungle, the
monkey u r trying to call is on the tree....Plz try later."
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you
sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..."
God thought that since he couldn't b everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he
couldn't b everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
Why couldn't the apple send an e-mail to the orange? Because the lime was engaged.
A good friend is like a computer I 'enter' ur life, 'save' u in my heart, 'format' ur problems, 'shift' u 2
opportunities & never 'delete' u from my memory!
Why did God Create 'you' before Me....? Ans: B'cause he wanted to Create a 'Sample', Be 4
Creating A *Master-Piece*
Days are 2 Busy, Hours are 2Fast, Seconds are 2 Few But there's always Time for Me 2 disturb
You
Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? A: Knock on the door.
SMS Heaven! Q) Why do Gods stay up in heaven? A) Because they are afraid of what they have
created!
A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company?
Why? asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage, mink in her closet,
tiger in her bed! And ofcourse a donkey to pay her bills!!
Do you take me 2 be ur lawfully loveable fren, 2 have and 2 hold, 4 rich qoutes or corny jokes, in
text meassging & in poor signal, till low batt do us part?
Husbd: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only
differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
Teacher: Why is your nose red? Max: I smelled a b-rose. Teacher: But there is no "b" in rose.
Max: There was in this one!
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I have to leave, I can't find a
brain.
Increase its size Stretch it more Exercise it more Bigger the better B'coz nothin looks better on ur
face than THAT NAUTY SMILE
An in-depth study has shown that the bird flu virus hits the best chicks first. I thought I'd warn you
immediately..
immediately..
Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband. Man replies: Dat's me, whenever anyone is
pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!
Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean:
Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
Increase its size Stretch it more Exercise it more Bigger the better B'coz nothin looks better on ur
face than THAT NAUTY SMILE
immediately..
immediately..
Girl: I wanna a responsible man as a husband. Man replies: Dat's me, whenever anyone is
pregnant in my neighborhood, they say I m responsible!
Friend: how many women do u believe must a man marry? Mr. Bean: 16 Friend: Why? Mr. Bean:
Coz the priest says 4 richer, 4 poorer, 4 better and 4 worse.
Do u know whats A B C D E F G? A Boy Can Do Everything For Girl Now reverse da order, can u
guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ? Girls Forgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again
Friendship is a network tht needs: no recharge! no roaming! no validity! no activation! no signal
problems! juz dont switchoff ur Heart.!
Definition of a Nurse A young and beautiful woman who fingers u in all places n holds ur hand
and then expects ur pulse to be normal
Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called? Student: I don't know. Teacher: They r called Turks,
now What r the people of Germany called? Student: They r called Germs.
Some Realties of Life. "U love someone U marry someone else. The one u marry becomes ur
wife or husband. And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id"
A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents -
Ruby First Class in Bed!
2 days of powrcut in Delhi had made life miserable worst affected was "Delhi metro statin where
families of Banta n Santa were stuck for 48 hrs on.... Escalators
He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no
matter who left you the money!
Sardarji was asked, what is a adult joke? Reply came any joke which is eighteen years old.
"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?" "Please wait someone else is using it."
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain
simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her
husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile
makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three?
Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
Advice Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice: 99% Sound & 1% Advice....
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He
said, "Call for backup."
Teacher: Peter, why r u late for school again? Peter: Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing
football & the game went into extra time.
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly ? The father says to him, don't stress my
son u should see the one who is reading this!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the
happiest couple
I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS
Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.
Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years :
GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?

There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near boy's schools, but not near girl's college.. Why?
COZ vehicles automatically go slow....
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I
think from page 15 to 26.
Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food

hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so she will meet u soon.... her
name is smile.... i think she came.
2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose?? YOUR
OWN
Heartbeats are countless .... Spirits are ageless .... Dreams are endless..... Memories are
timeless.... A friend like you ....... Shameless!!!
Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I
thought it was a new one!
Why do men like smart women? Rare things are always sought after!!
A Mother makes her son Intelligent in 20 years, but a Girl can makes him Stupid in 2 minutes.
When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake? Answer : On their Wedding !!
Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Bcoz they are already leading a dog's life!
Q: Why doesn't the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law
you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
Life Paradox what u want u don't get(luv), what u get, u don't njoy(marriage), what u njoy is not
permanent(galfriend), what is permanent is boring (wife)
"Doctor, Doctor, You've got to help me I just can't stop my hands shaking!" "Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
Santa (reading from book of facts) "Do you know that every time I breathe a man dies?" Banta:
"Why don't u use a mouth wash?"
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression &
many more mental qualities. Hats off 2 u coz u manage 2 live without them!!
U r the 1st thing that comes 2 my mind. I wish I could start my day with U in my bed. I jus luv ur
feel to my lips. U just make my day, I love U NESCAFE!
New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in ur love, & I don't want my son
to do the same 4 your daughter, So lets make them brother & sister.
Its difficult 2 understand GOD, He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them
into Wives!
Court Order !! U R Accused of Crawling into my inbox & Hijacking My Smile with your cute
massages. U R Sentenced 2b MY SWEET FRIEND 4 LIFE
What is the similarity between CIRCUS and a BEAUTIFUL GIRL'S HEART? Both have space for
1 more clown...
What do I do when I see someone extremely Gorgeous, Attractive, Terrific, Cute, Fabulous.... I
Stare, I smile, And, when I get tired..... I put down the mirror !
Never think of the past It brings tears... If you think of the future It brings fears... So, live life in the
present And drink chilled beers!
True Love is like a pillow U could HUG it when u r in trouble U could CRY on it when u r in pain U
could EMBRACE it when u r happy Want True Love? Spend Rs50 BUY A PILLOW
Husband 1: Why do u take your wife only to night clubs? Husband 2: Buddy by the time she gets
ready no other place is open!
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2
marry ur daughter!
A sardar falls in luv wit a nurse.. After much thinking, he finally writes a luv letter 2 her: "I LUV U
SISTER"
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of
a woman with her mouth shut!
This is not fair! How could u do this? Didn't expect this from you! Got a whole Channel on ur
name and didn't even tell me? Animal Planet!
Phonebook Dilemma Why r there no phone books in China? Coz there r so many Wing's and
Wong's, they r afraid u will Wing the Wong number.
If u read dis, I'm SMART. If u save dis, you agree dat I'm SMART. If u fwd dis, u r spreading dat
I'm SMARt & if u delete dis, u r jealous coz I'm SMART
3 Guys were introduced to a girl. Hi, I’m Peter, not a saint. I’m Paul not a POPE. I’m John not a
Baptist. The girl replied. Hi... I’m Mary, not a VIRGIN.
Hubby: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle. Wife: Yes darling I still do, only
difference is earlier it was 300ml now it's 1.5 ltr.
Q:- what do u get when u cross a librarian and a lawyer? A:- "All the information you want, except
you can't understand it."
Funny Answering Machine Messages Please leave a message However, you have the right to
remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
They say Love is in the air... shit if only I had a plane right now!
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
Seeking luv iz a mission... finding luv iz a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian
tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
Regular Naps Prevent Old Age... Especially If You Take Them While Driving!
Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put ur Mobile inside the same well
Because you r not messageing me... well
I'm sorry that I'm running late! There is a power failure and I am stuck on the escalator.
What is the difference between Mother & Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying... &
the other ensures you Continue to do so!!
U r a Stupid Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand...
Sugar is sugar, Salt is salt, God made you dumbo, not my fault!
Whn you r alone, Whn you r crying, whn you r upset, Don't think of me!! just call me Bcoz
incoming is free for me... my friend!!
sorry 4 disturb u. can u fax me ur photo, its very urgent, serious matter has comeup actually, we r
playing a cards and I lost the joker
Q:) What does a buffalo produce during an EarthQuake? A:) MilkShake
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you." She
replied, "Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice."
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have
to, my Mom is a good cook.
When in life, you wake up n you don't see anyone, then come to me. I will be there to take you to
an eye specialist!
I want u... To be with me In a nice Restaurent To have candle light dinner.... & to
say those sweet three words to U.... "Pay The Bill"
Friedship is just like wine..as it gets older it gets sweter..just like you and me..you are gettind
older and i am getting sweeter.
Unlike others, ur brain is a masterpiece. it has 2 halves the left & the right The left
has nothing right in it & d right has nothing left in it.
We've known Each other 4 Quite a while now, do u think we can be more than
Frnds? Will u be my Partner 2 rob a Bank?
I saw U on Road today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect.
My Heart started singing a Sweet Song: Who Let The Dogs Out!
Do u know that your Smile takes 1000 People to Death ? Save The World......... So
Plz start brushing regularly
When u get ths SMS, snd it to 1 person U luv, 1 u hate, 1 u always think of & 1 u
wish to kill. now keep guessing why I send it to u!!
My Life was in darkness before i met u, but now it is bright.u know why? Coz u r a
"Tubelight
Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just
happy that a cow can't fly!
Last night was my fault, my wife asked, "what's on the TV?" and ..... I said, "dust!"
The smile is like a simcard & life is like cellphone, Whenever u insert the simcard of a
smile, a beautiful day is activated Keep Smiling.
Difference: It's funny when people discuss LOVE MARRIAGE Vs ARRANGED. It's like
asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered
so sweet is ur SMILE..... so sweet is ur STYLE..... so sweet is ur VOICE..... so sweet
is ur EYE....... see how sweetly I LIE!!
Some Love Golden-Ship, Some Love Silver-Ship, But I Love One Ship, That Is Your
Friend-Ship
Based on Newton's 1st Law: Law of love Love neither be created nor be destroyed,
only it can be changed frm one girlfriend to another girlfriend.
I know you think I'm cute, I know you think I'm fine, but like the other guys take a
number and wait in line!!
What is a difference between a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey? A kiss is so dear, a car is
too dear and a monkey is U dear.
Why r Women are like the stock market... Coz they're irrational n can bankrupt u if
u're not careful.
r mosquitoes religious? YES They first sing over u & then prey on you
wen tings go rong, wen tears flow 4rm ur eyes, wen sadness fills ur heart, plz inform
me-coz my frnd sells tissues BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
Remove your Shirt, Remove your Pants too, ahhhh uhhhhh remove ur kurti now
ahhh.... Finally the suitcase is closed.
Birds love u, Giraffe love u, Goat love u, Elephant love u, Go to zoo, They all miss u.
I want U 2 know dat our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry I cry, U Lauf I Lauf, U
Jump out of da window... I look down & den.. I lauf again
Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Every 1 can c it but only U can feel its true
Warmth, Thank U 4 being the pee in my pants..
Wht's the similarity between a girl & petrol? 1. both r explosive 2. both r hot 3. both
r dangerous when kept in open
Eyes: To look at you

Hands: To pray for you
Mind: To care for u
Heart: To love you and
Legs: To kick u if u forget me.
The big tomato said 2 the slow little tomato: ketch up!!
A group of elephants were sitting on the street. A sexy female elephant passes by...
What does the loafer elephant say? Wow... 3600-2400-3600
What's it called when a woman is paralysed from the waist down? Marriage.
A Friend is like a GAS blown from the ASS, Which creates noice n nuisance to others
but gives Me RELAXATION and COMFORT. Thanks for being the GAS of my ASS.
Luk at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never b complete without few
sweets n nuts. Sweet like ME & nut like U
Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have
preferred.
Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter? A: I butter not tell you, It might
spread!!
Cute… Good looking… Easy to handle… Cool… Sexy… Nice structure… Its my mobile.
How about your?
What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness combined? A: Sitting on the sea
shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up ur ASS
Will, Marry, I & U are going for a party. Whats the best & worst arrangement u can
make. Did u get... Best: Will, U, Marry, Me Worst: I, Will, Marry, U
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs
beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest? Girl: A push.
Sweet fruits r nice 2 eat.. Sweet words r nice 2 say.. But sweet people r really hard 2
find..My goodness, how da hell did u manage 2 find me!
Advice
Always listen to ur hubby, He gives sound advice :99% Sound & 1% Advice....
Their are moments in life when you really miss someone. And you wish you could
just pluck them from your dreams..
Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.
Woman: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming
just a little too high.
For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: What Men Know About Women.
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering.
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is
chinese.
I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't
come back for a day and a half.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and
announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that thing?
Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!
Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?
A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.
How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
Because they don't have any. 1
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute
packing plant
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too...
A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The
bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".
Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.
What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
How many men do you need for a mafia funeral? Only one. To slam the car boot
shut.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.
All the love that history knows is said to be in every rose!Yet all the love that could
be found in two, is less than what I feel for you.
We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still

searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
A MAN: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
MAN: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all Radio PAKISTAN!
3 scientists happen to meet each other by chance at a party, an American, a Russian, and a
Pakistani.
They boast their country's science achievements. The Russian says: We were the 1st ones in
space,
the American says, we were the 1st to go to moon,
The Pakistani thinks hard and says: we will be 1st ones on the sun!
Both the American and Russian start laughing, and say to the Pakistani, you stupid the sun is
too hot, your spaceship will burn b4 it reaches the sun.
The Pakistan scientist remains cool and calm, and says: You are stupid. We will go there at
night!!!
Sales Girl: sorry sir you cann't smoke here.
Customer: but i bought cigarate from this shop.
Sales Girl: we sell condom also but it dosn't mean you start fucking here.
Boy: what will u give me as reward if i climb Mt.Everest?
Girl: A push.
2 Lovers plan to suicide. Boy jumped first, Girl closed her eyes & return back saying love is
blind.
Boy in air opened his parachute saying love never dies.
What is a girl friend

Addition of problems, subtraction of money, multiplication of enemies & division of friends
New style of proposing a girl: I have spent many sleepless nights in your love,
and I don't want my son to do the same for your daughter. So lets make them brother &
sister.
A boy in love with a girl

continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy
continue to be in love with him
untill on unless any external agent (brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the
legs of the boy.
Sincere Apology:
If u dont like ny of my SMS or dont like 2 read or if my msgs disturb u,then plz dont
hesitate,feel free 2 Throw Ur Mobile!!

Happy Ramadhan Mubarik May Allah Look Favorably

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HAPPY RAMADHAN MUBARIK

7 Why were males created before females?

9 ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

12 Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?

15 What did the elephant say to the naked man?

24 What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?

25 The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of

26 Q: What does a blonde owl say?

27 WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!

28 What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?

29 Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?

33 What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?

68 Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

84 What is the thinnest book in the world?

86 Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and

87 How Dogs and Women are alike.....

89 If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?

101 TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,

103 Phulon se khoobsurat koi nahi.

104 A Friendship is Sweet when its NEW

106 Q. why do 18 sardar go for movie?

A. because below 18 is not allowed.

108 Kiss is not like Nokia...Connecting People

110 If you fall in river there is a boat

115 You are like the sunshine so warm,

116 Love is sweet poison:

118 If you love someone, put their name in a circle,

125 Meaning of Friendship : -

133 If all my friends were to jump off a bridge,

137 A good Friend is like a computer

142 When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God

143 When u feel sad....

144 Kind, intelligent, loving and hot

145 I saw your face as you walked by

146 I see your face when I am dreaming

Someday u may lose ur hair.

Our friendship means a lot 2 me.

Roses are red, violets are blue

Yaad mein teri aankhe bharta hai koi,

Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka ,

jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye

Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste,

Tere pyaar ki roshni aisi hai ki

jawaab teri shayari ka....

Teri aankain jhuki jhuki

Mandir mein jaap karta hoon,

Umeedo ki manzil toot gayi

You r my sweet SONA

Child : - Mohit uncle mujhe na Bandar dekhna hai

Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai,

Jis mehfil mein hum khade ho jaaye

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya

Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai

Jab i ne U se pyaar kiya

Promise me we are true friends

kayi raaz aise hote hain jo dikhaye nahi jaate

Tammana se nahi tanhai se darte hain

Dil torna humari aadat nahi

Shaam hote hii ye Dil udaas hota hai

Door waadiyoN mein dhundley badal chupkar parbat se milne ka intzaar

Kya aankheiN hain aapki, kya baatein hain aapki..

Is Dil mein aansuyo ke mele hain

Har des ki ek sarhadd hoti hai