Situation 1 Crisis before exams / Pariksha pehla

mushkeli ma mukayo
a. Why did this problem arise?
i. Overconfident
ii. Not anticipating
iii. Procrastinating
iv. Poor Time management
b. Other situations that can result in similar crisis before exams?
i. Getting ill, fracture
ii. Exams preponed
iii. Breakup
iv. Procrastination
v. Poor Mental Energy Management
c. Thinking traps that further demoralize
i. Things have started bad, so it is going to be bad only
ii. Luck is not favouring me
iii. I ll be left behind
iv. I m finished
v. I wish I could skip exam
vi. All of them got time to prepare, I did not
d. What to do?
i. Your mind is confused and cannot think straight so come out of
your shell and Get Support
1. Friends
2. Seniors
3. Parents
4. Mentors
5. God
ii. Seeking support will help you think more clearly and Come into
the adjusting mode
1. Psychological demand of the situation is high; ability to
control is low - so accept the situation. Dont fall into
thinking traps
a. See the crisis as a challenge over long term
fighting challenges with a lifted head increases
self esteem
b. Recite anti-stress litany. This too shall pass.
Tomorrow is another day. I can handle this any
things that works for you
c. Some things are out of your Circle of influence
d. Avoid comparing
e. Stop catastrophizing
f. Stop predicting
iii. Beware of people who demoralise
iv. Time management -> dont let the important + non-urgent to
become urgent
v. Focus on long term goal rather than short term
vi. Go and give the exam
vii. Use Relaxation exercise

Situation 2 - Adjustment problem in hostel /

Assertiveness/ Low self esteem
a. Why did this problem arise?
i. Not ready to gel with the change
ii. Not assertive enough
iii. Low self esteem
b. Thinking traps that further demoralize
i. I m helpless. I just cant adjust in such situations
ii. I ll be okay/ happy only if situations change
iii. If i say no to friends, Ill be left alone
iv. I should keep others happy all the time
v. If people dont like me, i m worthless
vi. If I dont look good, i m worthless
c. What to do?
i. Adjustment problem
1. Come into an adjusting mode, Accept the change in your life,
Dont fall in thinking traps
a. See the crisis as a challenge / take charge / Locus of
control internal , From Why situation is like this? to
what can i do in this situation
b. Circle of influence
ii. Assertiveness
1. You cannot keep everyone happy
2. Learn to say no assertively 4 types of communication
a. Aggressive
b. Passive-aggressive
c. Docile
d. Assertive broken record
i. Dont do things to KEEP people happy
ii. If you want to SAY NO, do so WITHOUT BEING
RUDE
iii. Low Body self esteem
1. Accept the looks which God have given you and be
comfortable in your own skin, YOU CANT CHOSE YOUR
PARENTS
2. Your self esteem depends on how much you love yourself
rather than how much others love you
3. Looks arent everything, they only are an advantage in the
first impression

Situation 3 - Relationship Problem

a. Why did this problem arise?
i. Immature age, not able to handle issues in a relationship,
very normal
ii. There is always a risk - because this is not a socially
sanctioned relation like marriage ( no social pressures to
adjust )
iii. Both seem to be priority at this age - career and relation,
even though career is more imp
b. Thinking traps that further demoralize
i. Things should always work out well
ii. Emotional thinking vs logical thinking
iii. I m worthless or i m not lovable , if someone doesnt love
me
iv. Worries about image among colleagues, what they will say
about me
c. What to do?
i. Get Support
ii. Come into an adjusting mode, Accept the change in your
life, Dont fall in thinking traps
i. Its ok, to go through a breakup
ii. Take charge/ see it as challenge
iii. Try to think logically than emotionally
iv. Dont watch emotional movies, serials or listen to sad
songs ( esp. when exams are approaching)
v. Avoid intense emotions about that person, even of
hatred
vi. Focus on long term goal, you have to pass
iii. Anger management for the long-term
i. Count to 10, 100 or 1000 if required before bursting
ii. Distract yourself
iii. Practise
1. Is the matter important to me?
2. Is what Im thinking and feeling appropriate?
3. Is the situation modifiable?
4. Is taking action worth it?