Getting familiar with our own weaknesses and strengths is a life learning experience.

We can define
ourselves often trough the mirror held by our friends, family and society to us. This is why a persons
characteristics are evaluated trough the values of the society where he or she grew up. There are
cultural differences what will define if a certain characteristic is a weakness or strength.
The unique situations are very important too. Same characteristics could be counted as weaknesses or
strengths depending on the circumstances. For example the sense of caring and helpfulness need to be
in the right amount and provided at the right time.
It is always easier to act in the proper way towards people we know. We are carrying our memories and
experiences with us what will influence our decision towards others.
In the same time even we can fight against or strengthen our characteristics, this can be done only to a
certain point. Our personality is unique exactly for this reason; the balance of the different
characteristics will determine the person.
A good example how certain characteristics can be strengths turning into weaknesses is Peter Urs
Bender's Guide to Strengths and Weaknesses of Personality Types:
1. Analytical
Strengths: Thinking, Thorough, Disciplined
Potential Weaknesses: Excludes feelings from decisions, Goes too far; perfectionist, Too rigid or
demanding of self/others
2. Amiable
Strengths: Supportive, Patient, Diplomatic
Potential Weaknesses: Tends to conform to wishes of others, No time boundaries; things do not get
done, Not assertive or directive
3. Driver
Strengths: Independent, Decisive, Determined
Potential Weaknesses: Has trouble operating with others, Does not take time to consider other
perspectives, Domineering; too focused on doing it "my way"
4. Expressive
Strengths: Good communicator, Enthusiastic, Imaginative
Potential Weaknesses: Talks too much, Comes on too strong, Dreamer; unrealistic
If I would have to write a list of my characteristics, the main would be the following: organized,
helpful, hardworking, honest, forgiving, cooperative, reliable and sensitive, quiet and reserved, getting
angry when provoked, reacting bad to criticism, not to attentive (I can not concentrate for too long and
need brakes).
I think of myself as generous, having a positive attitude, creative with new ideas and solutions. I am
open to new things and handle well changes and different aspects of a plan or activity. I am not afraid
of responsibility but do not like when others are not taking their share. I am handling criticism and
people who blame others for everything quite badly. Quiet, introvert, having few true friends, I prefer
deeper relationships. I can be very impatient especially when solutions look easy but I have to wait.
My family has always seen me as a chatty, outgoing person with strong personality (what they
sometimes call stubborn). I think I am friendly and open towards other people but I am more
comfortable around people I know.
The members of my family sometimes like to make judgments based on past things I did or how I acted
in the past under certain circumstances. But I think as we are getting older and have more life
experience and learn more, meet new people who have an influence on us, we are changing. I have

learned to be more patient, more empathetic and less judgemental. I am more confident than I used to
be and can make better decisions in a shorter time than before.
I have a few people in my family with whom is not to easy to have the kind of relationship what I
would like. They think I am impatient because I find it hard to understand when somebody likes to
abuse of the care of others and tries to get more out of a relationship or depends too much on certain
people what can be too much for the other party. For example my mother is living an antisocial life,
with very few friends and she does not like visitors. She puts a lot of pressure onto her surrounding
family and neighbours. I can be impatient with this type of people, who are pushing the limits to gain
more attention and often going into mind games. I am very tolerant towards different personalities but
can not deal with criticism and aggressive behaviour too well. The lack of patience is coming from a
characteristic of mine what in certain circumstances can be considered as strength: being creative and
active. I always try to solve the problems and do something as soon as I can see solutions. I think
understanding others helps a lot to practise patience.
My father likes to make jokes at others expense, I think this is why I can not take criticism too easy.
One of my weaknesses is to understand people and to try to know what are their feelings. I am trying to
learn to have more empathy, but I always prefer people who are open and honest.
My friends can always count on me, they know I will help in any way if the need arises.
I sometimes have a weakness in the fact that I may be too honest with my answer and do not think
before answering. I realize that when you are communicating with people, it is very important how to
phrase my message.
We have to use a filter to not hurt other peoples feelings and knowing somebody well is always helps
to avoid offensive situations. Even saying simple things like train or milk can have good or bad
connotation to the other person. Maybe he lived close to a train station and his childhood was happy,
than the train will always have a pleasant meaning. Or another friend, if she is allergic to milk, she will
not associate this word with the cows and playing in the haystacks like me.
I have learned a lot from Thomas Gordons P.E.T. book (Parent Effectiveness Training) in how to
communicate effective and how to find the helping and motivating answers.
I enjoy reading texts and analysis about psychology problems and I am always learning new things. I
also learned a lot from this course about how to deal with other people and realised that things what
does not look so major at first can be decisive, like how working in teams is a very important aspect of
the caring process.