A memorable patient

So, would you mind telling me your main reason for wanting to have breast
reconstruction?, I asked Laura as the surgeon walked out of the room.
For a moment we sat there pupil locked and her face suddenly turned sour.
Laura is a middle-aged G7P7 Caucasian woman who has had undergone left mastectomy
three years ago with diagnosis of stage 2 ductal carcinoma of her left breast. That day, she
came in to the office for initial breast reconstruction consultation.
I knew the pain and complications that I might get following the surgery, she answered.
In fact, the thoughts of being in the operating theatre for the second time are enough to put
me off from having another surgery she continued.
Im not doing this for men to look at but for those children. I love to swim and I felt inferior
with children seeing me wearing breast prosthesis underneath at the swimming pool. Its all
about self-esteem, she emphasised.
You will know exactly how I felt this time once you lost one of those! said Laura in a clear
and firm voice with her index finger pointed towards my chest.
I was stunned with her words. It was an awkward moment and the room became dead silent
for a while.
As I was driving home, our conversation kept replaying in my head and my thoughts began to
drift. I could feel that she was hurt with my question and I felt extremely sorry. My curiosity
was genuine but I quickly learned that it was taken as something altogether different.
The whole incident may be ordinary to many. However, as my thought turned from
compunction to reflection, I realised such an awkward dialogue had taught me about
empathy, respect and the art of communication.
I was wrong for three reasons. Firstly, I should have never assumed that patients with chronic
diseases such as malignancy will always be opened to answering such personal and sensitive
questions. The fact that they have had the conditions for a long period of time does not make
them emotionally immortal. Secondly, it was a clear mistake for putting my personal set of
values to her situation and expected her view to be same as mine. My initial thought of if I
were you, I would rather not doing this unless I have a good reason had prompted me to ask
the question. However, I failed to appreciate that the one who has been struggling with the
disease was her and the womens pride which was taken three years ago was hers too. I
should have respect her decision and embrace the difference. Thirdly, I should have

acknowledged that the request of breast reconstruction can be translated as one of her coping
skills from the initial diagnosis treatment and mastectomy for breast cancer.
What did I learn? I have interviewed many cancer patients thinking that I am on my foot with
my communication skill. But my conversation with her had bashed my ego and humbles
myself to continually learning.
What of my patient? She might be felt threatened following our meeting. But if I were to see
her again, I would like her to know how her stand had give a priceless lesson to me.
This incident spoke to me of the importance of communication, empathy yet also hinted at
the powerful influence of factors entirely beyond our control..