Into the Games

A Broadway Melodies Musical

Written and Directed by Jacob Springfield and William Foos
Co-Directed/Produced by Mary Greene; Stage Managed by Mckenzie Millican

Characters:
Katniss Everdeen
Peeta Mellark
Effie Trinket
Haymitch Abernathy
Cinna
Neil Patrick Harris
Caesar Flickerman
Rue
Cato*
Clove*
Glimmer*

Numbers:
1. Prologue and Journey to the Capitol
1a. Prologue (Pt. 1)
1b. Prologue (Pt. 2)
1c. The Reaping
1d. The Biddies
1e. Cinna
2. Hello, Little Rue
3. Into the Games
4. Katniss Under the Willow Tree
5. Cameras in the Trees
6. Agony
7. Well You Slept For Three Days
8. Lament for Rue
9. It Takes Two
10. Moments In the Games
11. If You Know What You Need
12. Do You Think It Was A Bear
13. Last Battle
14. Finale

Marvel*
Foxface
Mother Everdeen
Primrose Everdeen
Venia
Octavia
Flavius
Tributes/Mutants
* Often referred to in script as
CAREERS

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SCENE 1: THE REAPING AND JOURNEY TO THE CAPITOL

(Enter NEIL PARTRICK HARRIS)
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
Welcome, welcome, everyone! My name Neil Patrick Harris, and I will be hosting the
74th Annual Hunger Games, just as I host everything that has ever been broadcasted.
Were going to start tonight off with a little musical number if you dont mind. Ready? 56-7-8.
AT THE 74 ANNUAL CAPITOL ENDORSED HUNGER GAMES.
(Enter EFFIE TRINKETT, incensed)
EFFIE TRINKET
Oh, no you dont! Not this time, Harris!!
(EFFIE leaps at NPH, taking off her heels and using them as bludgeons. They fall
offstage and there is a moment of silence. EFFIE reappears, straightening her hair and
her dress.)
EFFIE TRINKET
Take that, you cocky troublemaker! And dont bleed on the mahogany! (There is a groan
form offstage as she turns to audience) Welcome, welcome! Happy Hunger Games! And
may the odds be ever in your favor. Where to start? Oh yes, right, right lets see.
Once upon a time
1a. PROLOGUE (PT. 1):
(Lights come up to reveal KATNISS, PEETA, and HAYMITCH [who is in sunglasses]
lined up on stage. KATNISS is polishing her bow and arrow among her family, PEETA is
mixing a bowl of dough, and HAYMITCH is cradling a bottle of booze. All remain frozen
until they start to sing)
KATNISS
I WISH...
EFFIE TRINKET
Back in district 12
KATNISS
MORE THAN ANYTHING
EFFIE TRINKET
Lived a hungry young woman

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KATNISS
MORE THAN LIFE
EFFIE TRINKET
A blonde young baker
KATNISS
MORE THAN JEWELS
PEETA
I WISH...
EFFIE TRINKET
And a scraggly drunkard
PEETA
MORE THAN LIFE...
KATNISS AND HAYMITCH
I WISH...
EFFIE TRINKET
And his booze.
PEETA
MORE THAN ANYTHING...
KATNISS and HAYMITCH
MORE THAN THE MOON...
PEETA
I WISH...
KATNISS
TODAY THEY ARE HAVING THE REAPING DAY
HAYMITCH
MORE THAN LIFE...
PEETA
I WISH...
KATNISS
I DONT WISH TO GO TO THE REAPING DAY
NOT AT ALL

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HAYMITCH
MORE THAN RICHES...
PEETA
I WISH THAT KAT WOULD NOTICE ME
KATNISS
MORE THAN ANYTHING...
PEETA
PLEASE, BABE, PLEASE BABE
HAYMITCH
I WISH I HAD SOME BOOZE
KATNISS
I DONT WANT TO GO TO THE REAPING DAY
PEETA
OH COME ON
GIVE ME A SMILE JUST ONE LITTLE SMILE...
I WISH...
HAYMITCH
I WISH THAT I HAD SOME BOOZE
I WISH...
KATNISS
I WISH...
EFFIE TRINKET
Now, Katnisss father had died in a mining accident, and she lived with her sister and her
tragically underdressed mother, who had, since her father died, been watching Love
Actually incessantly on a broken television. Why is it broken you ask? Is it not obvious
(aside)
1b. PROLOGUE (PT. 2):
KATNISSS MOM
(Reaching for the television) I WISH...
EFFIE TRINKET
Because theyre poor!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA.

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KATNISS
I WISH MY MOM WERE NOT A FOOL.
I WISH MY HOUSE WERE NOT A MESS.
I WISH MY SISTER HAD SOME FOOD.
I WISH THAT PEETA WOULD LEAVE ME ALONE
I WISH A LOT OF THINGS!
EFFIE TRINKET
And then there was Peeta
PEETA
I WISH...
ALL I WISH THAT
A GIRL WOULD NOTICE ME!
ALL I ASK IS ONCE, PLEASE
TO HAVE THE GIRL I KIND OF STALK
TO LOOK MY WAY!
KATNISS EVERDEEN, PLEASE...
EFFIE TRINKET
Oh how sweet! Anyway, before they knew it, it was time for the Reaping Day!!! (Sung
very excitedly) And thats where I come in!!! (produces a bowl from behind her back) As
usual, ladies first!
KATNISS
Dont worry Prim, your names only in there once; theyre not gonna pick you.
PRIMROSE
Are you sure?
KATNISS
Positive.
HAYMITCH
AND PERHAPS ILL HAVE A SHOT?...
OR FOUR?...
EFFIE TRINKET
(Presumptuously, making a big deal of this most minor of tasks. Everyone is annoyed)
GO HAND,
INTO THE BOWL
PICK AND WELL SEE WHO
THE NEXT WORTHY TRIBUTE WILL BE

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KATNISS
Are you serious right now?
HAYMITCH
AND SOME GIN ON THE ROCKS... PLEASE...
EFFIE TRINKET
GO HAND
SWIRL AND THEN TWIRL
PICK A GIRL WHO
WILL FIGHT TO THE DEATH
PEETA
COME ON, NOW
EFFIE TRINKET
AHHH...
EVERYONE
Come on, already!
EFFIE TRINKET
Oh all right! Plebeians. (unfurls paper) Primrose Everdeen!
KATNISS AND PRIM
(in perfect unison) Holy shit!
KATNISS
Wow, that really sucks. #reapingproblems (looks at PRIM, PRIM looks back expectantly)
So are you gonna head on up? Maybe? No? (PRIM nods no) Really? (PRIM puppy dog
eyes her) What? No, no Im notcome on, get up there. (pushes PRIMROSE, who
doesnt budge) Ugh. Oh fine, I give up. I volunteerI guess.
EFFIE
Wonderful! Such enthusiasm! Come on up, dear! And just like that, it was off too
PEETA
Hey, what about the guys?
EFFIE
Oh my goodness! ANOTHER volunteer!
PEETA
Wait, no, thats not what I meant.Oh God damn it!

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EFFIE
Splendid, Splendid!
PEETA
Hi Katniss.
KATNISS
Youre going down.
PEETA
On you. (winks)
KATNISS
I.
(All exit except for EFFIE, PEETA, KATNISS, and HAYMITCH, who EFFIE is pushing
the tributes toward HAYMITCH who is sitting in a chair asleep)
EFFIE
And just like that, we were off to the Capitol! Accompanied by everyones favorite
drunk, Haymitch.
HAYMITCH
(Bridesmaids) Oh, nono, I am not me. My name is Mr. Mr. Iglesias
EFFIE
Come, come, now Haymitch. Do be serious.
HAYMITCH
Ugh. Fine. Heffie. What kind of a name is Heffie? It sounds like heavy, or a farm animal.
EFFIE
Its not Heffie.
HAYMITCH
Well fine. Whatever. (Turning to KATNISS and PEETA) Hey guys. Are you ready? To
PARTAY!?
KATNISS
Uhhhno
EFFIE
Do you have any advice for our new tributes, Haymitch?
HAYMITCH
When in a splotch, drink some scotch. Have no fear, find the beer.

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EFFIE
I meant concerning the games, you sack of wine!
HAYMITCH
Wine!?
EFFIE
Oh, for heavens sake, never mind! Get out of here!
HAYMITCH
Jeez, I didnt know it was going to be so strict around here. Auf Wiedersehen, asshole.
Oh yeah, you two, in the games. (leans in intently and whispers) Dont die.
EFFIE
Thanks for nothing, you useless man. But, anyway, before we knew it we had arrived,
and it was time for our strapping young man and sturdy young woman
KATNISS
Hey!
EFFIE
to meet their stylists!
(EFFIE ushers PEETA off stage. The PLASTICS.I mean STYLISTS, enter and accost
KATNISS with different cosmetic instruments. They are dress ridiculously and look like
very mean girls. [hint hint])
FLAVIUS
LOOK AT THOSE NAILS!
OCTAVIA
LOOK AT THAT DRESS!
VENIA
CINNA WILL LAUGH AT YOU!
ALL
NEVER THE LESS
WELL GIVE YOU RINSE AND A SPRITZ AND THEN
TO CINNA YOU WILL GO!
HA HA HA HA HAHAHAHA
OCTAVIA
Oh my goodness look at that braid! That is so totally fetch.

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VENIA
Its full of secrets. Thats why its so big. Wow youre, like, really pretty!
KATNISS
Thank you? I guess
VENIA
So you agreeyou think youre really pretty?
KATNISS
Uhh
OCTAVIA
Flavius, whats on you shirt?
FLAVIUS
Its an F, for Flavius. Duh! (points to the F is backwards)
(CINNA enters, awesome as always. The STYLISTS leave)
CINNA
(Filing his nails) Get out of here, losers, do some shopping. Hi, Im Cinna, Im so sorry
this happened to you.
KATNISS
You and me both, pal.
CINNA
Well, lets get started. Mmm. Girl, weve got some serious work to do on you.
KATNISS
What?
CINNA
Hun, Im just gonna call you Katnasty, cause girl that dress is ratchet.
1e. CINNA:
CINNA
GIRL YOUR HAIR IS A MESS.
THERE ARE BAGS ON YOUR EYES.
THERES A TEAR IN YOUR DRESS
YOU DIDNT SEE IT? HONEY, BLESS
KATNISS
BUT-

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CINNA
GIRL,
YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST FORFEIT,
WED BE BETTER OFF TO TORCH IT.
THAT MIGHT NOT REALLY BE A BAD IDEA
HEY I THINK THATS IT!
CINNA
Girl, for that tribute parade, we are gonna set youre fine self on fire!!
KATNISS
WHAT?
PEETA
(Appearing from offstage) Holy crap, thats hot.
KATNISS
Get out of here, Peeta!
CINNA
BOY, YOU CANT STAND THIS HEAT! GET OUT OF THE OVEN! And guess what,
were doing it to you too, honey.
PEETA
Oh no, really, thats fineI dont need to
CINNA
Rye? Whats the matter, boy? I thought you liked the idea.
PEETA
I just (runs off stage)
KATNISS
Wow, that was bad.
CINNA
What?
KATNISS
I loathe puns.
CINNA
You mean you LOAVE puns.

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KATNISS
No, really.
CINNA
Well, girl, you better strap in because it think Im on a ROLL!
KATNISS
Youre really not gonna stop, are you?
CINNA
Well, Im just trying to butter you up! (KATNISS laughs in spite herself) See, theres a
smile (they share a tender smile). Challah! (The two laugh)
EFFIE
Several bad bread buns, I mean puns, later, Katniss had made the first real friend shed
ever had. Then, after a quick costume change, she and Peeta, or as I like to call them,
PEENISS - get it? Its a combination of their names, Peeta and Katniss - were sent off to
change for their interview with the Capitols very own Caesar Flickerman! Our host with
the most was already sitting down with four Capitol favorites, the Careers!
SCENE 2: CASEAR FLICKERMAN
(Center stage NPH sits with the four Careers, MARVEL, GLIMMER, CATO, and
CLOVE)
NEIL PATRICK HARRIS
(Arm in a sling) Hello and welcome back to our coverage of the 74th annual Hunger
Games, I am your host, Neil Patrick Harris and
EFFIE
(Noticing) Not you again! (Chases NPH off stage) Dont let him get away!
(Careers look around awkwardly with no one on stage. Music starts and Caesar Dances
Out To Austin Powers Theme)
CAESAR
Sorry about that, folks. Im your host Caesar Flickerman, and welcome back to our live
coverage: brought to you by Dicks Sporting Goods, outfitting our Cornucopia and
tributes since game 1. Need armor penetration? No problem. Go to Dicks! (winks) Now,
lets get back to our Tributes from Districts 1 and 2 who were just telling us before the
break that they have decided to form a group, or posse, of sorts. Tell us more about that,
you guys.
CLOVE
Well actually, Caesar, you see its more of a temporary democratic cooperative alliance
consisting of a constitutional

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CATO
Were calling ourselves (pauses for overdramatic effect) the Thunderc(rest of the
careers glare at him. CATO sighs) the Careers. (In less than enthusiastic air quotes)
CAESAR
Fabulous, did you pick that name yourself?
MARVEL
I THOUGHT OF IT! (GLIMMER pats him friendly on the shoulder)
CATO
(Sulking) Well, if you ask my opinion, I think we could have come up with something a
lot more awesome, like the Thunder.
CLOVE
No, no. We are the Careers. End of discussion.
CAESAR
So, Careers, how will this alliance impact your strategy?
GLIMMER
Were just gonna like, you know, kill everybody. Duh!
CAESAR
Yes, of course. Can you give the audience just a teaser of what your strategy will be?
GLIMMER
Well, Sun Tzu says, in his Sung Dynasty masterpiece The Art of War, Let your plans
be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt. Like,
totes obvious.
MARVEL
(Sighing in infatuation) Youre so smart.
CAESAR
So Marvel, it appears you have quite a relationship with our Glimmer, here. Care to tell
us about it?
MARVEL
Well, Caesar, the truth is I am actually desperately, completely in
GLIMMER
Weve been the bestest of friends since we were little. Hes the absolute perfect pal.

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MARVEL
.ButNo, I.Oh crap.
CAESAR
Hang in there, buddy Well thats all the time we have Careers. Itll be interesting to see
how their team fairs, especially considering that only one of them can win. (CAREERS
look startled). Thats right, ponder that one you crazy kids! Next up we have the tribute
from District 11 (dramatic pause/announcing voice) Ms. Rue!
2. HELLO LITTLE RUE:
CAESAR
Good day, young lady.
RUE
Good day, Mr. Flickerman.
CAESAR
HELLO, LITTLE RUE,
ARENT YOU PSYCHED,
REPRESENTING TEAM 11?
I HEARD YOU GOT A 7,
ON YOUR SCORE.
RUE
MOTHER SAID,
"COME WHAT MAY,
DONT LOOK BACK JUST RUN AWAY.
CAESAR
NOW, NOW, LITTLE RUE,
DONT BE SCAREDYOU BEST HIT THE GROUND KICKING.
BECAUSE YOURE EASY PICKINGS,
THE CLOCK WILL SOON BE TICKING.
ROUND OF APPLAUSE,
FOR LITTLE RUE... (RUE exits)
OH ISNT SHE JUST THE SWEETEST:
NOW LET US WELCOMEMS. KATNISS, AND PEETAWelcome, girl on fire

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PEETA
CAESAR PLEASE,
IF I MAY,
I HAVE SOMETHING,
HERE TO SAY.
(Vamp)
PEETA
(Gets down on one knee) Katniss, I love you. Will you go to the hunger games with me?
(Vamp ends as KATNISS throttles PEETA)
CAESAR
LOOK AT THAT FRESH,
BLOOMING LOVE,
THIS PAIR OF STAR-CROSSED LOVERS,
THINK OF THEM DUKING IT OUT HERE
IN JUST A FEW DAYS!
IS THERE ANY WAY
TO EXTINGUISH THEIR FLAME,
WHEN THEY GO INTO THE GAMES!
KATNISS
(to PEETA)
YOU WANNA GO,
ANOTHER ROUND.
I MAY BE A GIRL,
BUT I DONT FUCK AROUND!
IM GONNA PUT YOU IN THE GROUND.
(happily) GOOD DAY, MR. FLICKERMAN.
CAESAR
GOOD DAY, MS. EVERDEEN.
PEETA
BUT MY LOVE...
(PEETA moans)
SCENE THREE: INTO THE GAMES
(All the Tributes assemble around the Cornucopia, ready to fight)
EFFIE
The next day, and what a big, big day it was, the time had come for our tributes to go into
the games! Oh, isnt it exciting - gathering around the Cornucopia, all 24 tributes locked
in for battle? Oh, good luck, PEENISS!

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KATNISS
Stop calling us that
EFFIE
10, 9, 8 , 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 (chuckles)
GO TO THE GAMES!
3. INTO THE GAMES:
EVERYONE
INTO THE GAMES I HAVE TO GO
THERE WILL BE PAIN
I HAVE TO THOUGH
INTO THE GAMES BUT EVEN SO
I HAVE TO MAKE THE JOURNEY
INTO THE GAMES AND MAKE IT FAST
THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE MY ASS
PEETA
INTO THE GAMES TO WOO THE GIRL!
KATNISS
INTO THE GAMES FOR PRIM AND MOTHER!
CLOVE AND MARVEL
INTO THE GAMES TO ROMANTIC FRUSTRATION
CATO
TO WIN IT ALL!
GLIMMER
TO SLEEP WITH CATO!
CAREERS
INTO THE GAMES WITH SWORDS AND KNIVES
(*snap*) GIRL, WE ARE TAKING ALL THE LIVES
INTO THE GAMES NO COMPROMISE
TO DO A LITTLE HUNTING.
EVERYONE ELSE (NOT CAREERS)
INTO THE GAMES YES OUT OF FEAR
NO, DONT GET CAUGHT BY A CAREER

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FOXFACE
INTO THE GAMES TO FIND SOME FOOD!
MARVEL
INTO THE GAMES TO CATCH THE TRIBUTES!
RUE
INTO THE GAMES TO CLIMB A TREE!
CLOVE
TO THROW SOME KNIVES!
KATNISS
TO SHOOT SOME ARROWS!
GLIMMER
INTO THE GAMES TO KICK SOME ASS
CATO
INTO THE GAMES TO GET SOME ASS
EVERYONE
THE WAY IS CLEAR,
THE ARENAS BIG,
THE THREATS LURK BEHIND EVERY TWIG
TWO DOZEN GO IN,
AND ONE COMES OUT.
PEETA
ITS KIND OF LIKE A MAGIC TRICK!
KATNISS
MY GOD YOUR HUMORS REALLY SICK.
EVERYONE
INTO THE GAMES NO TIME TO MOPE
PEETA
HEY LOOK YOU GUYS I FOUND SOME ROPE
(CATO tries to strangle him with it but he escapes)
EVERYONE
(KATNISS slaps CATOs head to get him to release PEETA)
INTO THE GAMES WITH LITTLE HOPE
OF GETTING THROUGH THE JOURNEY
INTO THE GAMES TO WIN THE FAME

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THAT MAKES THE PEOPLE KNOW MY NAME

TRIBUTES
INTO THE GAMES TO JUST SURVIVE
KATNISS, PEETA, RUE, THRESH, FOXFACE
FOR ONES WE LOVE
CAREERS
TO BE THE VICTOR
EVERYONE
TO RUN
TO HIDE
TO STEAL
TO KILL
TO CLIMB
TO WOO
TO WIN ALL THE GLORY
INTO THE GAMES
INTO THE GAMES
INTO THE GAMES
BUT OUT OF THE GAMES
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
CATO
Alright, so we got all the weapons and killed most of the tributes. Great. (Awkward pause
as CAREERS look around) Now what?
CLOVE
Well, we should set up a perimeter and systematically track down the rest of them!
MARVEL
Guys Im hungry! What if we cant find food?
GLIMMER
(Sigh) Dont worry about it, Marvel. Finding food is easy, we just have to look for a
refrigerator!
MARVEL
Well (looking around at the dead tributes), just look around I mean, you know me.
Bright ideas just pop into me, my, head

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LITTLE PRIEST ACCIDENTAL:

SEEMS A DOWNRIGHT SHAME
CATO
What the?
MARVEL
SEEMS AN AWFUL WASTE
CLOVE
Huh?
MARVEL
WITH THE RARITY OF MEAT WHAT IT IS
WHEN YOU GET IT
IF YOU GET IT
EVERYONE
(except GLIMMER, who looks confused) Ugh NO!
EFFIE
Oh my! Wrong Sondheim, dear!
GLIMMER
Wait I dont get it.
PEETA
(Rushing in) Hey guys! Im strong! I can bake pies! (Pause)
CATO
Lets kill him. (All dive at him)
PEETA
I can help you find the girl on fire!
(CAREERS pause, go into group huddle and whisper, and then come out)
CLOVE
Alright baker boy, you can join us (Winks at CATO)
PEETA
Yes! Ill show Katniss that I am capable of making friends and then betraying them to
save her life(CAREERS all look at him suspiciously) I mean betray her to save my life!
Then Ill be irresistible to her.I mean you!

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CLOVE
Okay good! Now lets split up! Well go hunt some tributes and you, baker boy, will go
find some food. Cato, well go north. Marvel, you and Glimmer go south.
MARVEL
YES! Hey Glimmer, it looks like its just you and megoing down south. (Seductively)
GLIMMER
Yeah! Now we can totes be best hunting buddies! Cato should come too!
CLOVE/MARVEL
NO!
CLOVE
Cato is going North with me!
CATO
But I wanna kill things! And, you know, head south too. (He winks at GLIMMER, who
giggles in response. CLOVE glares at him)
CLOVE
Alright. Meet back here before nightfall!
PEETA
Aye aye Captain!
(All leave. KATNISS enters and climbs willow tree)
SCENE 4: KATNISS UNDER THE WILLOW TREE
(KATNISS is sitting alone in the willow tree, visibly starving. EFFIE continues narrating,
bubbly and chipper as ever.)
EFFIE
In the meantime, Katniss sat starving to death in a tree, her stomach growling with
hunger and her terrible split ends flowing in the breeze, God bless her. As she sat there,
dying of starvation, she began to hallucinate about her mentor Haymitch back at the
Capitol.
4. KATNISS HALLUCINATE ABOUT HAYMITCH:
KATNISS
IVE BEEN QUICK AND IVE BEEN SMART HAYMITCH,
DOING ONLY WHAT I LEARNED FROM YOU,
WHY THEN AM I GONNA DIE HAYMITCH?
IS THERE SOMETHING MORE THAT I SHOULD DO?
I NEED FOOD HAYMITCH,

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GOD I NEED SOME FOOD!

I WISH.
(HAYMITCH appears, stumbling but ethereal)
KATNISS
Haymitch?! Whatre you doing here?
HAYMITCH
(Reassuringly with slurred words) What, Katniss? Specify (hiccup) Im just a figment of
your imagination, a hallucination brought on by extreme hunger. For a girl on fire, you
dont look so hot. Heres some advice.
HAYMITCH
DO NOT WHINE LITTLE BRAT,
YOU ARE IN AN ARENA NOT A SPA,
IF A SPONSOR YOU NEED,
JUST THINK OF GREED,
THINK OF A PLACE
WHERE MORALS GO TO DIE
(exit)
KATNISS:
IF YOU WANT A PLACE TO GO,
MCKEE DS IS THE PLACE YOU KNOW,
BA BA BA I AM LOVING IT!
(A Happy Meal is lowered in and KATNISS proceeds to grab it, does a showgirl pose
with it, and devours it.)
EFFIE
And, safe for the first time since the games began, Katniss fell into a deep sleep. But you
have to be careful, terrible dangers lurk every where in the arena, ready to strike.
FOXFACE
(Climbing the tree, FOXFACE pulls a knife looking like shes about to stab KATNISS, but
instead uses it to oven the Happy Meal and steal a fry.)
This is the day you shall always remember as the day you almost knew what the fox said.
SCENE 5: CAMERAS IN THE TREES
5. CAMERAS IN THE TREES
PEETA
THERE ARE CAMERAS IN THE TREES!
THERE ARE TINY, SINISTER CAMERAS IN THE TREES!

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WHEN YOURE IN THE WOODS AND YOURE ALL ALONE

AND YOURE REALLY SCARED, CAUSE YOURE ON YOUR OWN,
THERES A CAMERA SOMEWHERE SHOWING HOME
HOW FUCKING SCARED YOU ARE!
WHEN YOURE WAY UP HIGH AND YOURE IN THE TREES
AND YOU LOOK DERANGED CAUSE YOUR GETTING FLEAS
AND THE GIRL YOU LOVE IGNORES YOU PLEAS
NO PRIVACY! I CAN BARELY EVEN PEE!
FROM THE CAMERAS EYES I CANT ESCAPE
NO I CANT EVEN MASTURBATE!
CAUSE BACK HOME WERE BEING BROADCAST IN HD
I HOPE MY PARENTS ARE SITTING SOMEWHERE CHEERING FOR ME
AS FOR KATNISS I GAVE HER FOOD AND I GAVE HER BREAD
BUT SHELL PROBS PUT AN ARROW THROUGH MY HEAD
AND I KNOW SHES OUT THERE HIDING FROM ME
UP IN THE TREES.
THERE ARE CAMERAS IN THE TREES!
THERE ARE TINY, SINISTER, MICROSCOPIC,
MILLIONS OF CAMERAS IN THE TREES!
CLOVE
There she is! (KATNISS wakes up)
PEETA
Yeah, yeah I found her!
KATNISS
What the actual hell, Peeta?
PEETA
Shut up! Im trying to help you! (to CAREERS) Found her! Found her right here.
CLOVE
Nice work, baker boy.
KATNISS
Youre one of them? (PEETA frantically nods no, CLOVE looks at him and he start
nodding yes)
CLOVE
You betcha', baby. (Obviously trying to make CATO jealous, she turns toward PEETA
and caresses his arm) Youre so strong andgood at finding things arent you, big boy?

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PEETA
(Awkwardly) Im..gonna go look for food. (Exits)
CLOVE
What the...? I am attractive, damn it! Give me that bow, I really just need to kill
something right now. Ill shoot her down! (Grabs bow from Glimmer shoots and misses)
GLIMMER
(Bored filing nails) You know youd be much more successful if you figured out the
angle of trajectory of the arrow by using the trees distance from you and its height to
calculate the tangent. Then youd just need to apply approximately 16.415 joules of force
to the arrow to fracture her skull. (Stunned silence)GuysIm bored (whining).
CATO
Set up a perimeter around the tree. She has to come down sometime. Then well kill
baker boy.
KATNISS
Holy crap
MARVEL
Hey Glimmer, you look tired. Wanna come rest your head for a minute?
GLIMMER
No, Im fine though, thanks pal! Youre a real friend.
CATO
(To GLIMMER) Hey girl, are you sure youre not from District 12
GLIMMER
Eww, yeah gross. Why?
CATO
Cause Im about to make you mine (She suddenly gets it, giggles, and they exit)
MARVEL
That wasnt even a good pick up line!
SCENE 6: AGONY
(The CAREERS have KATNISS trapped in the tree. CATO and GLIMMER are in the
bushes nearby having sex and PEETA has gone to look for food. MARVEL and CLOVE
are lamenting their fate)
6. AGONY:
MARVEL
I THOUGHT ID WOO GLIMMER,

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NOW CHANCES ARE DIMMER,

CUZ WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
MY DREAMS NOW HAVE BEEN STONED,
CAUSE NOW IVE BEEN FRIEND-ZONED,
AND SHE CHOSE CATO.
AGONY! OH, WHEN YOURE JUST A PAL,
LETS JUST SAY THE TURN OF PHRASE
IS NOT VERY GOOD FOR MORALE.
(CLOVE bends over and MARVEL checks out her ass)
CLOVE
BEHIND THE BUSHES,
THERES GRUNTING AND PUSHES,
IM GONNA BE SICK.
CUZ YEAH I LOVE CATO,
BUT CATO LIKES GLIMMER,
THAT SNOTTY ASS CHICK.
GLIMMER
(moaning the theme of INTO THE GAMES) AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH AAH!
CLOVE
AGONY! WHEN YOURE LOVE LIFE IS DEAD,
AND YOURE SO BORED YOU SPEND YOU TIME,
KILLING OFF TRIBUTES INSTEAD.
CLOVE & MARVEL
AGONY!
SHALL WE DO SO AS WELL?
I GUESS! WHAT THE HELL!
(They begin to make out. PEETA come and interrupts)
PEETA
Am I interrupting something?
CLOVE AND MARVEL
Get the hell out of here!
CATO
(Entering with GLIMMER, clothes askew)
Whats going on here?

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CLOVE
(Shoving MARVEL off of her)
Nothing, nothing!! Nothing at all!
MARVEL
Glimmer I still love you.
(All start to argue among themselves. KATNISS is not amused)
KATNISS
Oh fuck this.
EFFIE
Ahh, yes. Our young Katniss, ever resourceful and fed up with the hormonal angst of the
Careers, found a nest of Tracker Jackers, technical term for huge wasps sent from the
mouth of Satan himself, and hurled them down onto the Mob.
(KATNISS throws the nest down and buzzing begins [Flight of the Bumblebee played on
kazoo]. The rest unfolds as EFFIE narrates)
EFFIE
The Careers and Peeta ran for their lives, but unfortunately for our young Glimmer, she
just couldnt make it out in time. (She goes down) Katniss managed to pull the bow and
quiver from her body, but then foolishly was stung herself and proceeded to passed out.
Oh, how tertz!
KATNISS
What doesthat evenmean (blackout)
(Lights go down except by piano where EFFIE is standing. KATNISS passes out)
SCENE 7: KATNISS AND RUE BOND
(KATNISS awakes and looks around, confused. RUE is tending to her)
EFFIE
When Katniss awoke, she was surprised to find she had a little guardian angel watching
over her.
KATNISS
Hi. Youre Rue, right? (RUE nods) Thank you, for all of this. What all happened,
exactly?

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7. WELL YOU SLEPT FOR THREE DAYS

RUE
WELL YOU SLEPT FOR THREE DAYS
KATNISS
OH
RUE
AND YOU SNORE REALLY LOUD
KATNISS
OH
RUE
THOSE WASPS REALLY GOT YOU GOOD
KATNISS
AND THE BOY
RUE
WHAT BOY
KATNISS
PEETA
RUE
BLONDE HAIR KINDA TALL?
KATNISS
HAVE YOU SEEN HIM AT ALL?
DID HE RUN? DID HE HELP? DID HE GO BACK TO THE CAREERS?
RUE
WELL I THINK THAT HE HELPED
KATNISS
AND
RUE
GIRL I LOVE YOUR HAIR!
KATNISS
NO THE BOY!
RUE
WHAT BOY

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KATNISS
WELL PEETA
RUE
YEAH WELL HES OKAY I GUESS
KATNISS
YOU GUESS
RUE
WELL I DONT KNOW HIS TALE
AND BESIDES IM TEAM GALE
(They laugh)
CATO
(From off stage) Theyve gotta be somewhere around here!
KATNISS
Quick, get behind me!
(KATNISS pushes RUE behind her. From the opposite side of stage, MARVEL sneaks up
behind them and stabs RUE)
RUE
Katniss!
KATNISS
No!
(KATNISS shoots MARVEL)
MARVEL
Oh look, Ive been impaled.
SCENE 8: RUE DIES
(After being stabbed by MARVEL, and KATNISS has similarly disposed of MARVEL,
RUE is dying in KATNISSs arms)
LAMENT:
RUE
KATNISS YOU HAVE TO WIN,
DO IT FOR ME.
KATNISS CAN YOU SING,

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SING ME A SONG.
SING ME TO SLEEP.
KATNISS
NOW YOU KNOW WHATS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD,
NO ONE COULD PROTECT YOU FROM THE WORLD,
EVEN I, EVEN I AM LESS STRONG THAN I THOUGHT.
EVEN I THOUGHT THERED BE A DIFFERENT PLOT.
THAN THIS.
(RUE dies)
SCENE 9: IT TAKES TWO/MOMENTS IN THE WOODS
(KATNISS picks up rue and carries her off to the other side offstage. This is when PEETA
enters, staggering and injured, from the opposite side. KATNISS is crying.)
PEETA
What happened to you?
KATNISS
Oh I dont know, I just watched my closest friend and ally die in my arms. What
happened to you?
PEETA
Cato and Clove were about to find you, so I led him off the trail. But he caught up to me.
KATNISS
Howd you get out?
PEETA
Thats when Thresh came in. He was trying to kill all of us, but all he got was Clove.
Then Cato got him, I got away, and here I am.
KATNISS
Wait, you did all that? For me? Why?
PEETA
Well Ive only told you a million times that I am desperately in love with you!
KATNISS
Oh shit, you were serious?
PEETA
Uhhhyeah

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KATNISS
Wow, thats actually kind of sweet. Soyou really like me?
PEETA
For the love of God, YES!
KISS ME (ACCIDENTALLY):
PEETA
KISS ME!
KATNISS
OH SIR!
PEETA
KISS ME!
KATNISS
OH SIR!
EFFIE
Oh dear! Wrong Sondheim piece! (Accompanists Name), if you would
(ACCOMPANISTS NAME)
Sigh
8. IT TAKES TWO:
KATNISS
YOU'VE CHANGED.
YOU'RE DIFFERENT.
THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT THE GAMES.
NOT SURE,
CANT PIN IT
JUST SOMETHING ABOUT THE GAMES.
AT HOME I'D FEAR
THAT YOU WERE JUST A CREEPER.
AND THEN OUT HEREYOU'RE PASSIONATE
CHARMING,
CONSIDERATE,
DEEPER

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PEETA
IT TAKES TWO.
I THOUGHT ONE WAS ENOUGH,
IT'S NOT TRUE:
IT TAKES TWO OF US
YOU CAME THROUGH
JUST WHEN I WAS ABOUT TO GIVE UP.
LOOK AT YOU.
LOOK AT THE TWO OF US.
IT TAKES CARE.
IT TAKES PATIENCE AND MUCH DEBONAIR
TO WOO.
AND TO REALLY
SEE IT THROUGH,
AND ITS GREAT WHEN YOU FINALLY DO.
IT TAKES TWO.
PEETA AND KATNISS
WE'VE CHANGED.
WE'RE LOVERS.
LOOK AT ME LOVING YOU IN THE WOODS.
WHO MINDS
WHO SEES US?
WERE GETTING IT IN THE WOODS.
AND ONCE WE'RE DONE,
LETS' HOPE WELL LAST TOGETHER
BEYOND WOODS,
BEYOND TRIBUTES AND CAREERS AND SHOULDS,
JUST THE TWO OF USBEYOND LIES,
BEYOND CAVES, BEYOND CLOVE WITH HER KNIVES,
JUST THE TWO OF US.
IT TAKES LUST.
IT TAKES JUST
A BIT MORE
AND WE'RE DONE.
AND WELL LIVE,
FOR THE FUN.
KATNISS
THERERE THREE MORE.

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PEETA
I JUST SCORED
BOTH
IT TAKES TWO (They kiss sweetly)
(End Song)
PEETA
Well I am going to go get some food. Care to join me, my lady?
KATNISS
(Overly sweet) Be there in a minute, darling!
(PEETA exits. KATNISS wipes the kiss off her lips)
KATNISS
What was that?
9. MOMENTS IN THE GAMES:
KATNISS
WAS THAT ME, WAS THAT HIM?
DID THE BAKER REALLY KISS ME,
AND KISS ME, UCK, AND KISS ME AND KISS ME?
AND DID I KISS HIM BACK?
WAS IT REAL, AM I SANE?
MAN THOSE WASPS REALLY GOT ME!
HAS HUNGER FINALLY GOT THE BEST OF ME?
WAKE UP, COME ON NOW, STOP PRANCING ABOUT THE WOODS!
DONT LEAD HIM ON NOW; STOP KISSING HIM IN THE WOODS.
ITS NOT REAL, ITS ALL FAKE, JUST A PLOY, NOT A ROMANCE,
A WAY OUT OF THE WOODS.
ITS A TRICK, ITS A HOAX, ITS A SHOW FOR THE MASSES,
JUST A GAME IN THE WOODS.
SOMETHING I MUST DO, IF WERE GOING TO WIN TOGETHER,
I JUST HAVE TO LEAD HIM ON, AND PRETEND ITS REAL,
AND THEN TRY TO KILL WHAT I THINK I FEEL.
ITS THE ONLY PLAN,
IF WERE GOING TO LEAVE THE WOODS.

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SCENE 9: IF THE END IS RIGHT/POSSIBLE, VERY POSSIBLE

(PEETA is out hunting for food, KATNISS runs to join him, leaving their wares
unguarded)
KATNISS
Peeta! Peeta, my love, where are you/ (Runs off stage)
PEETA
(Entering other direction) Katniss! Katniss I found some berries! Where are you? Come
on, they look really good and not poisonous at all! (He takes one and almost eats it, then
stops) Come on, girl, where you at? That Foxface girl is still out there, and we need to
figure out what were going to do with her when we find her! (Exits)
FOXFACE
(Entering from opposite side) Yes! Those idiots! Now all the food is mine!
OTHER FOXFACE
Stealingbut isnt this stealing.precious?
FOXFACE
Oh come on, they dont need these berries, wed be doing them a favor to take them off
their hands!
OTHER FOXFACE
Are you sure about that, precious?
FOXFACE
Yes, Im sure! Shut up!
9. IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED:
FOXFACE
IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED
THEN YOU GO AND YOU FIND IT AND YOU TAKE IT
OTHER FOXFACE
Precious!
FOXFACE
Shhh!
FOXFACE
AND YOU HIDE AND YOU WAIT
IF THEY FIND YOU, YOU PLAY DEAD AND YOU FAKE IT.

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OTHER FOXFACE
Berries!
FOXFACE
Yes!
FOXFACE
THEY HAVE BOWS AND ARROWS, SWORDS AND KNIVES
IM A FOX, NOT A CAT, I DONT HAVE NINE LIVES!
AND MAYBE I STILL CAN WIN THIS, WHO KNOWS?
CAUSE I DO, WHAT I DO, THATS THE POINT ALL THE REST OF IT IS
USELESS
OTHER FOXFACE
Of course Im Tinkerbell
FOXFACE
What? Ssh!
AND I TAKE WHAT I TAKE THEY WONT KNOW IF THEYRE LEFT A LITTLE
FRUITLESS
WHAT MATTERS IS THAT IF I REALLY WANT TO WIN THIS FEUD
ALL THAT REALLY MATTERS IS THE FOOD!
OH IM SO HYPED, THIS FRUITS SO RIPE,
YOU CAN SUCK IT KAT AND PEETA
CAUSE TO WIN THIS FIGHT I HAVE TO STEAL SOME FOOD!
(FOXFACE eats berries and dies. KATNISS and PEETA reappear.)
KATNISS AND PEETA
Wait for it (cannon fire) BOOM! HUNGER GAMES! (pelvic thrust in victory) Go
PEENISS!
EFFIE
They used my line! Wait a momentOH MY GOD! That is just sovulgar! How did I
not realize? (Realizes what shes been saying)
KATNISS
Hey, whats that?
PEETA
Uha footprint? Duh.

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KATNISS
(Smacks his head) Dont be an ass. (Immediately starts patting his head where she hit it)
Look at it. Doesnt it look, I dont know, a littleun-human?
PEETA
Yeahyoure right
10. WITCHES RAP REPRISE:
KATNISS
DO YOU THINK IT WAS A BEAR?
EFFIE
PLEASE, BEARS ARE SWEET.
BESIDES YOU EVER SEE A BEAR WITH HUMANOID FEET?
PEETA
A DEMON?
EFFIE
NO PENTAGRAMS, USUALLY THEYRE LINKED.
KATNISS
A SASQUATCH?
EFFIE
IMAGINARY!
PEETA
YETI?
EFFIE
EXTINCT!
KATNISS
A GENETICALLY ENHANCED CAPITOL MUTATIONS?
EFFIE
POSSIBLE VERY, VERY POSSIBLE!
EFFIE
In fact, Katniss hit the metaphorical nail right on the head! Our specialists back that
Capitol had whipped a delightful surprise for team Peeniss! What? I committed to it.
KATNISS
Stop trying to make PEENISS happen, Effie! Its not going to happen!

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EFFIE
You used it, darling, its totally happening. Anyway, from out of nowhere, a pack of the
mutated zombies of the other tributes attacked! And the race began to the Cornucopia!
(ZOMBIES chase KATNISS and PEETA off stage left, followed by EFFIE who looks just
thrilled)
SCENE 10: LAST MIDNIGHT
(KATNISS and PEETA run on stage onto the Cornucopia, chased by the ZOMBIES who
proceed to surround the Cornucopia from the back)
KATNISS
(winded) II think were okay. They cant get up here.
PEETA
II think were safe too. Good. Hey, have you seen Cato?
(CATO pops up from behind the platform onto the Cornucopia, shirtless and brandishing
a sword)
KATNISS
Really? Are you kidding me? Its like youre photo shopped.
PEETA
Hey!
KATNISS
Sorry, but he is.
CATO
We end this. Now.
(EFFIE appears on stage as the ominous music begins to play)
11. LAST BATTLE:
EFFIE:
ITS THE LAST BATTLE
IT'S THE LAST CLASH
IT'S THE LAST SHOWDOWN
SOON IT WILL BE BOOM SMASH
TOLD A LITTLE LIE
CUT A LITTLE NEST
STOLE A LITTLE FOOD
DID YOU?

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HAD TO SAVE YOUR RUE

HAD TO SAVE YOUR FRIEND
HAD TO SAVE YOUR LOVE
DISREGARD THE RULES
DOESNT MATTER
EVERYBODY DIES IN THE END
ITS THE LAST BATTLE
THE LAST CAMPAIGN
ONLY THREE LEFT STANDING
WELL SEE WHOLL REMAIN
WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO
I KNOW HOW ABOUT YOU
THEY COULD ALWAYS THROW OFF THE BOY
NO
NO OF COURSE WHAT REALLY MATTERS IS THE FAME
HOW THEY RECALL YOUR NAME
PROVE TO THEM THAT YOU CAN ENDURE
WHOLESOME AND PURE
KILLING NO MORE
ARE YOU SO SURE (CATO puts Peeta in a headlock)
SHOULDVE THROWN OFF THE BOY
CATO:
YOURE SO NICE
YOURE NOT GOOD YOURE NOT BAD YOURE JUST NICE
IM NOT GOOD IM NOT NICE I JUST FIGHT
THE ONE TO FEAR
IM A CAREER
JUST GIVE IN
EVERYONE ALWAYS KNEW I WOULD WIN
IVE BEEN TRAINED ALL MY LIFE HOW TO SLAUGHTER
SO GIVE UP LITTLE GIRL DONT YOU BOTHER
CAUSE ILL DO WHAT I DO!
EFFIE:
ITS THE LAST BATTLE!
LETS JUST WATCH YALL
WILL IT BE CATO OR PEETA
WHICH ONE OF THEM WILL FALL
ITS TIME FOR THIS TO END
IM REALLY SORRY TO SPOIL IT

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BUT PEETA WINS

THERES NO WAY CATO FOILS IT.
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT FRIENDS
GOOD PREVAILS AGAIN
COME ON NOW, LETS WRAP THIS UP THEN!
CATO IS KNEED IN THE BALLS,
THEN HE SLIPS AND HE FALLS
THEN I FEAR IT REAL CLEAR
PEENISS PERSEVERES (excited squeal)
(The ZOMBIES drag CATO off stage, chanting unto themselves ALL HAIL THE HOBO
KING!)
KATNISS
So, what are we supposed to do now?
PEETA
What do you mean?
KATNISS
I mean, only one of us can win.
PEETA
Oh crap, youre right. Wellthats not good.
KATNISS
No, no it is not (as she sets up her arrow to take out PEETA)
PEETA
(Grabbing berries from pocket) I mean, we could always go out together.
KATNISS
Ehhhhh.. (stringing arrow)
PEETA
Whats the matter, sweetheart? Dont you love me?
EFFIE
Yeah Katniss, dont you love him.
KATNISS
Dont you have mahogany to save? Ugghhh. Fine. I mean, yes my love. Let us do this.
Together. On 3 123 (They lift their hands to eat berries but Katniss fakes it)

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PEETA
Hey!
KATNISS
Oh all right! (They both lift their hands about to eat the berries)
EFFIE
Just kidding! Rather conveniently, at the very last minute the rules of the games change,
allowing the two blissful love birds to be together
PEETA
Woohoo!
KATNISS
Are you fricking kidding me? (They freeze)
FINALE:
CATO
NO ONE MAKES ME BLEED MY OWN BLOOD
NO ONE
MARVEL
SOME TIMES THE ONE YOU NEED MOST IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES!
CLOVE
YEAH THEY ARE (She jumps into his arms)
HAYMITCH
THIS DRINK. I LIKE IT. ANOTHER.
FOXFACE
ALWAYS CHECK FOOD FOR EXPIRATION DATES. AND TOXIN LEVELS.
RUE
I SET FIRES TO FEEL JOY
MOTHER EVERDEEN
WE FINALLY GOT THE TELEVISION FIXED!
PRIM
VOLUNTEER WORK IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT
CINNA
JUST REMEMBER, CINNA IS THE REASON THAT THAT GIRL IS ON FIRE!
(Last part to be sung)

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NPH
WHEN GOING TO HOST, KNOW YOUR LIMITS
EFFIE
AND WATCH FOR THE HEELS
CAESAR
AND ASK FIRST
GLIMMER
NOTHING MAKES A WOMAN FEEL MORE LIKE A GIRL
THAN A MAN WHO SINGS LIKE A BOY
Oh Thresh!
THRESH
AHHH AH AHHHH
PEETA
So what happens now Katniss?
KATNISS
Well, I dont know, I guess we just keep pretending to be a couple so the Capitol doesnt
find out.
PEETA
Wait, pretending?
KATNISS
Yeah, I mean, you didnt think that we were actually a thing, did you?
PEETA
No, no of course not.
KATNISS
Oh, thats awkward..I meansorry.
PEETA
But we had that beautiful moment before!
KATNISS
SOMETIMES PEOPLE SCREW YOU
HALFWAY THROUGH THE WOOD.
DO NOT LET IT GRIEVE YOU,
WHAT WE HAD WAS PRETTY GOOD.
I MEAN, AT LEAST YOURE NOT ALONE.
JUST IN THE FRIEND ZONE.

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SMILE FOR THE CAMERAS,

DONT FEEL SO ASHAMED.
THINGS WILL BE ALL RIGHT NOW.
CAUSE WE WON THE GAME...
ALL
THOUGH IT'S FEARFUL,
THOUGH IT'S DEEP, THOUGH IT'S DARK
AND THOUGH YOU WONT FIND SOME FOOD
THOUGH YOULL ENCOUNTER THE CAREERS,
YOU CAN'T JUST RUN,
YOU HAVE TO SHOOT THEM.
YOU CAN'T JUST HIDE
HAVE TO BE QUICKER .
THOUGH IT'S DARK,
THERE ARE ALWAYS MUTANTS,
AND THERES NEVER FOOD,
AND YOURE ABOUT TO GET STABBED,
BY SOME DUDE.
SO IT'S
INTO THE GAMES
YOU GO AGAIN,
YOU HAVE TO
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
INTO THE GAMES,
BUT ONCE A YEAR,
BE READY FOR THE JOURNEY.
INTO THE GAMES,
AND RUN REAL FAST
THE ONLY WAY TO
SAVE YOUR ASS
INTO THE GAMES, AND BRING YOUR SPEAR.
INTO THE GAMES, WITH BOWS AND ARROWS.
INTO THE GAMES, BUT NOT TO STRAY,
OR STARVE TO DEATH OR STEAL SOME BERRIESTHE THEME IS DARK,
THE GOAL IS CLEAR,
WE HAVE TO KILL
EVERYONE HERE.
THE CHANCES LOOK SMALL,
THE CHOICES LOOK GRIM,
BUT IF YOURE NOT A BABY
YOU MIGHT JUST GET BACK MAYBE.

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KATNISS AND PEETA

WE HAVE NO NEED TO FEAR.
EFFIE
AT LEAST NOT UNTIL NEXT YEAR!
ALL
INTO THE GAMESYOU HAVE TO FIGHT,
AND TRY NOT
TO FREEZE AT NIGHT.
INTO THE GAMES
WHO KNOWS YOU MIGHT
BE READY FOR THE JOURNEY.
INTO THE GAMESYOU HAVE TO GO,
WHOS GOING TO WIN?
YOU NEVER KNOW.
INTO THE GAMES, BUT NOT TOO SLOWINTO THE GAMES, BEWARE OF MUTANTSINTO THE GAMES AVOID CAREERS,
TO HOST THE SHOW,
TO NOT EAT BERRIES,
TO FIGHT,
TO KILL,
TO HIDE,
TO RUN,
TO STAB,
TO FLEE,
TO WIN FOR THE CAPITOL!
INTO THE GAMES,
INTO THE GAMES,
INTO THE GAMES,
BUT OUT OF THE GAMES
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
NPH
I WISH!