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Pressure Proof
Strategies and stories for busy, complicated lives.
by Paula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP

15 Things You Can Let Go Of in 2015

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Paula Davis-Laack, J.D., M.A.P.P.,

is a stress management and
work/life performance expert
providing strategies for a healthier,
more resilient you.
more...

Want to have a lighter, happier year? You'll have to drop some baggage.
Published on January 7, 2015 by Paula Davis-Laack, J.D., M.A.P.P. in Pressure Proof

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Letting go of unwanted things in my life makes me feel lighter, happier and more productive. Here are
15 things to let go of in 2015:
1. Being a selfless giver. You might be wondering: Is it really
possible to give too much? The answer is yes. In his book Give
and Take, Adam Grant discusses the differences between
givers, takers, and "matchers." He has discovered a number of
different sub-sets of givers, two of which are selfless givers
and otherish givers. Selfless givers give their time and energy
without regard to their own needs (hey, its 3 pm and I havent
eaten yet today!). But selfless giving, in the absence of recovery,
becomes overwhelming and can drive burnout. The trick is to
bikeriderlondon/Shutterstock
become more of an otherish giver. They find a way to balance
giving with their own self-interest and self-care.
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2. Mindlessness. I think of mindfulness as a pathway to increase the

space between a stress producing event and your reaction to it. If youve
been feeling less focused, more scattered, or having more knee-jerk
reactions to stress producing events, try the 4-7-8 breathing technique,
which I learned from my colleague, Renee Jain: Sit in your chair or on the
floor with your back straight. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold your breath
for a count of 7, then exhale for a count of 8. The first few times I tried it, I
was all over the place, but now Ive got the hang of it, and it really helps.
3. Bragging about how busy you are. When someone asks me how Im
doing, Im going to fight the impulse to respond, "Busy. That word doesnt
really say much, and quite frankly, its probably not even all that accurate. I
explore the connection between our crazy busy culture and burnout in my
new e-book, Addicted to Busy: Your Blueprint for Burnout Prevention.
What Ive discovered is that being busy isnt a bad thing as long as its
purposeful and intentional, but too many of us fill our lives with unessential
tasks in order to feel important and responsible.
4. Low-quality relationships. This was a resounding theme among my
Facebook gang. Many of us are just tired of being around people, and in
relationships with people, who dont have our best interests at heart. Lowquality relationships are marked by a lack of trust. According to my
colleague Gretchen Pisano, trust is about four things: (1) common ground

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(we have similar values and objectives); (2) predictability (I can predict
your behavior); (3) consideration (you will take my needs into consideration
before you act); and (4) forewarning (you will tell me before you act in a
way that is not in my interests). According to researcher Jane Dutton, highquality relationships offer four things: respectful engagement, task
enabling, trust, and play. I have used both of these tests to start weeding
out the low-quality relationships in my life, and I already feel lighter
because of it.

5. Inauthenticity. Do you feel comfortable showing up in your life as you

warts and all? Authenticity is hard for many people because it requires
vulnerability. The soldiers who I worked with really helped me become
more comfortable showing up in life as myself, and that has opened many
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6. Acting without intention. My word for the year is intentionality. Acting

with intention means being mindful of the choices you make and will
require you to say noa lot. I realize that saying no is hard, but so is
running yourself into the ground doing things you dont really like or care
about.
7. Some of your e-time. E-time is the amount of time you spend on your
various electronic devices. One of my Facebook friends is letting go of
50% of his Facebook time in 2015, and I think I might follow suit. How
many relationships, interesting conversations, and business opportunities
have you missed because you were glued to your screen?
8. Physical clutter. Physical clutter is constricting. I say this from
experience as Im about to be swallowed up by the papers on my desk and
on my office floor. Ive heard from many of you that you are going to
donate clothes you no longer want, ditch all the paper, and create an
ongoing organizational system.
9. Mental clutter. There are a number of different mindsets and messages
that we share with ourselves on a daily basis. Which help push you toward
success, and which zap your resilience? For example, if you tell yourself,
Im not good enough, when a challenge arises, what impact does this
thinking have on your life? And what would be the result if you thought
something different?
10. Being burned out. Burnout is pervasive, and no profession is immune
to it. Ive summarized some of the key statistics here, and they motivate
me to continue to do this work. Burnout is a disease of chronic
disengagement that impacts lots of areas of your life, and is marked by
three major dimensionsexhaustion, cynicism, and inefficacy. If this
sounds like you, there are tools and strategies to help.
11. Inefficacy. Inefficacy is feeling like you cant produce the results you
want in your life. It is one of the big three burnout dimensions, and the goal
is to build more of its oppositeself-efficacy. Research points to three
ways you can build more self-efficacy (Bandura, 1997): (1) have mastery
experiences, which require you to start tracking your successes, no matter
how small; (2) have a few people to cheer you on and support you; and (3)
observe another person (or people) overcome challenges to achieve
success, particularly if that person is accomplishing a goal you also want.
12. Past failures, regrets, and mistakes. This was another popular
response from my Facebook group. Holding onto past failures, regrets,
and mistakes is like carrying 100 pounds on your back: You can do it, but it
slows you down and prevents you from getting where you want to go. My
writing coach recently told me that my platform wasnt big enough to
publish a book the traditional way and explained why. After getting quite
mad at her and listing off all of my accomplishments, I realized that there
was some truth to what she said. Even though I stewed about this
conversation for weeks, I decided to get honest with myself and then got

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busy fixing the issues.

13. Other peoples expectations of you. Its tempting to follow the
expectations of others, especially when those others are close friends
and family. But what is it that you want? What are you expecting from
yourself? One strategy I use to evaluate expectations comes from Bren
Brown. She talks about the importance of being in the arena," meaning, if
you are giving advice or criticism, you better also be putting yourself out
there, taking risks, and getting knocked around, just like I am.
14. Perfection. Make this the year of good enough. And no, good
enough isnt about lowering your standards; its about choosing a
standard that isnt illusory. Perfectionists are more vulnerable to burnout
(Aydemir & Icelli, 2013), and when it comes to making decisions, they
experience a lot of regret and anxiety about missed opportunities, and
often engage in unhealthy social comparison (Schwartz, 2004).
15. Unhealthy habits. This could be anything from smoking less to
drinking less to losing those unwanted pounds. It could also be any one of
the other items on this list. Change is never easy, but the results are so
worth it.
One of my favorite quotes is, One of the hardest parts of life is
deciding whether to walk away or try harder. Once you start letting
some of these things go, hopefully the decision about what to do will
become easier. What would you add to the list?

Paula Davis-Laack, JD, MAPP is a burnout prevention and resilience

expert who helps companies and busy professionals prevent burnout and
build resilience. For lots of strategies and tips to prevent burnout and find
more engagement at home and at work, click here for a free copy of her ebook, Addicted to Busy: Your Blueprint for Burnout Prevention. Her website
is www.pauladavislaack.com.
References
Aydemir, O., & Icelli, I. (2013). Burnout: Risk Factors. In Burnout for
Experts. Sabine Bahrer-Kohler, Ed. pp. 119-143. New York: Springer
Science & Business Media.
Bandura, A. (1997). Self-Efficacy: The Exercise of Control. New York: W.H.
Freeman and Company.
Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. New York:
Harper Perennial.

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