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7 Ways to Develop a
Magnetic
Personality
by Srinivas Rao | 34 comments

I was never the cool kid in school.


I was an angst-ridden band geek,
and my only friends were the smart
kids. Over the years my personality
has definitely gone through some
major changes. As I started to
understand how to overcome the
fear of who I am and find my most
magnetic qualities, Ive also learned
quite a bit about people in general.
As part of my Personal Power II
project that Im working on, one of
the things Ive started incorporating
into my daily routine is power
questions. One of my questions that
Ive been using in order to make
changes in my life is what makes
me attractive?. Everyday I come up
with different answers and the idea
is at the end of 30 days my brain
will make a connection between
being awake and all these states.
Today, when I was asked myself
that question, the answer I came up
with was making people feel good
about themselves.
I think that one of the greatest

things you can do to attract people


to you like a magnet is to make
people feel good about themselves.
Why doe this work? Its simple. Its
basically a neuro-association at
work. People connect and associate
good feelings to you after a while.
Lets look at some practical tips on
how you can do this.

7 Ways to Develop a
Magnetic Personality
1. Leave a Comment on Their
Blog (if they have one). This is
something that doesnt take long
and believe it or not it can make
somebodys day, especially if the
person is a fairly new blogger. Make
sure its a well articulated positive
comment instead of just saying its
a nice post.
2. Send them an Email. Ive
started to get at least one email a
week with somebody telling me
they appreciate my blog and have
found it really makes my day. Its
really great to hear that and I feel
compelled to do something nice for
those people because theyve made
me feel good.
3. Tell someone you appreciate
their friendship. I dont think we
express our gratitude for our friends
enough. Were so caught up in our
world of information overload, that

we forget a small gesture


expressing your appreciation for
somebody can really go a long way.
Friendship is one of those things
that we really shouldnt take for
granted, but too often do.
4. Write Something Nice About
them on their Facebook Wall.
Its funny, but feel like the only time
we really go out of our way to say
something nice on Facebook to
somebody is on their birthdays.
Imagine if you wrote something
nice on all of your closest friends
walls for the next 30 days. Youd be
spreading a lot of positive energy.
5. Compliment Them on
Something Unique. Unfortunately
compliments have gotten to a point
where they can be a bit insincere
and seem as if you are saying them
just to get something. So, if you do
decide to do this, then make sure
its something really unique that
you are complimenting somebody
on.
6. Radiate Warm Positive
Energy. This is something that is
kind of an unspoken thing and
something that you just give off.
There are things you can do to
control your own energy, which
really are just a function of focusing
your own mind on all the positive
things in your life. I think all people
give off an energy or a vibe and I
think all other people can sense
that. Whether you have ever talked
to me or not, just from reading my
writing you form certain
impressions about me on an
unconscious level. As a result youre
either drawn to me or not.

7. Participate in a High
Adrenaline Activity Together. A
few nights ago I was watching a
documentary called This Emotional
Life. In one part of the
documentary, there was a couples
therapist who was doing research in
what makes people bond. One of
the interesting things he discovered
was that those couples who tended
to participate in a an exciting
activity together tended to have
more affection towards each other.
To me, this isnt a particularly
brilliant insight. Its basic
conditioning at work. Do something
that makes you feel good and youll
connect it to the other person. That
is why I love the idea of somebody
catching their first wave when
theyre with me because I know that
their life will be changed forever,
and theyll link that up with me :).
All of this really is about being
sincere and genuine. If this is done
in such a way that it comes across
manipulative, then it wont work at
all.

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About

Latest Posts

Srinivas Rao
Srinivas is the author of
the Skool of Life, where
he writes about surfing,
personal development,
and things you never
learned in school but
should have. If youre
ready to to become a
student, check out his

FREE course on the 7


most valuable lessons
they never taught in
school.

Related

34 Comments
Maria Brophy on August
12, 2010 at 8:45 am

I remember reading
once that you arent
BORN with a magnetic
personality (though
some are), but that you
can DEVELOP it. This
gave me great hope,
because Ive always
envied those people
who make you feel
great when they walk
into the room.
Youre right on about
giving people
compliments. A couple
years ago I made a
commitment to
compliment anyone
and everyone when I
liked something about
them. Now Ive gotten
so good at it that Ill
approach a complete
stranger and tell them
I think theyre pretty or
that I like their shoes,
etc.
I also make it a point
to let the people in my
life know what I love
about them. I love
how you are so good at
organizing etc.
One thing I hadnt
thought of doing is
asking myself power

questions. Thats a
terrific idea it makes
you think about whats
great about you, which
makes you feel good
and then you shine.
Love this!

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


12, 2010 at 2:47 pm

Thanks Maria. I know


what you mean about
envying people who
made you feel great
the second you walked
into a room. I felt kind
of the same way you
did about it. I think
that we all give off an
energy and that how
we think of ourselves
actually is
communicated in our
energy. That energy
can be extremely
magnetic once
developed and of
course questions are a
great way to reinforce
that positive energy.

Reply

Melinda on August 12,


2010 at 9:36 am

Srinivas, I LOVE your


central point in this
blog that
attractiveness is found
within, not from some
external source. I see
people every day trying
to be more attractive
by copying other
people or trying to be

something theyre not,


like all those poor
women in Hollywood
whose faces are
stretched beyond
recognition. Your
suggestion, to find our
existing attractiveness
and work on bringing
it out, is how we all
can become beautiful.
I love your tips and
your warmth!
Melinda

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


12, 2010 at 10:33 am

Hi Melinda,
Thanks so much. As far
as Hollywood goes, I
live in Los Angeles so I
see what you are
talking about
firsthand. Magnetism
and charisma is a goal
that Ive been trying to
reach. Its only as Ive
gotten older that Ive
realized all of it
something that comes
from within us. Its
largely a mental
projection of what you
are thinking on the
inside.

Reply

Melinda on August 12,


2010 at 10:39 am

I agree. And I think its


also what you talk
about finding our
true assets and really

stepping into them. For


example, Im an
introvert and I used to
try to force myself to
socialize like and
extrovert. But once I
started enjoying my
introvertedness I
became much more
comfortable and
attractive in social
settings.
Love your thoughts,
keep sharing them!!
Melinda

Reply

Jaky Astik on August 12,


2010 at 10:50 pm

The first way to be


attractive is to be
yourself. you shouldnt
be trying to impress
others. Its like you
should be free and
expressive about your
views. Ive a lot of
friends now, but there
was a time when I was
a timid little dumbo.
Then I started being
me. I stopped telling
myself what will this
girl/guy think of me if I
did or said this or that
and I also began to
notice and appreciate
good things in people
around me. Though,
some people, no matter
how honest you maybe,
take it as flatters, there
are people who are

actually carving to be
appreciated because
not everyone does that.
Then you become
attractive. Simple,
dough.. :)

Reply

bsr on February 6, 2013 at


8:04 am

Ive been working on


my people skills for a
few years now. Ive
realized in my later
years one of my
problems has been
being me. I grew up in
a family that had
terrible communication
patterns and still do. I
know Ive lost a lot of
friends over my life
because of stupid
attitudes and not
filtering what I say.
Now that Ive gotten
rid of critical aspects
of my personality, I
want to work on
achieving that
wonderful presence
that others so easily
have. I havent won
any new friends so far,
just acquaintances. I
dont know how to
move them into closer
friendships, and on
occasion I still feel like
I still screw up and
repel people. Anyone
have advice for a
female in in her late
30s?

cami on August 19, 2014 at


5:09 pm

I would love to know


how one enjoys being
an introvert in social
situations. For me, it is
always uncomfortable
so much that I avoid
them because it starts
the oh Im so quiet bla
bla bla phase. Unless
Im drinking then Im a
totally different person
I think, but Im not a
big drinker now
because Ive grown up.
LOL
I used to get harassed
as a kid growing up
because I was probably
quiet and I matured
before the other kids.
Unfortunately, it did a
number on me and I
was always quiet. I do
think Im quite
beautiful except for my
teeth and my weight,
which I can fix, but
even when I felt picked
on I was thin,
gorgeous, and top
heavy. It didnt matter
how pretty I was. Then
in high school I started
hanging out with the
more popular girls
until my bestie in the
group got pregnant
and suddenly they
didnt like me anymore
and tried to avoid me.
Back at square one. It
came and went all

through corporate life


and now Im back to
square one facing all
my friends from high
school being
uncomfortable yet
again. When does it
stop? I dont want to
be an introvert. Im
most comfortable that
way, but life doesnt
work that way if you
want successful
lifestyle. (a lot more
has to do with that,
but I didnt want to
write a book.)

Reply

Dhanya on May 6, 2012 at


8:11 pm

its true with me as


well. i was also similar
type of person before
trying to impress
people so that i will
get good friends or
they will accept me
more. but later i
realised that the more
e accept ourselves, the
more we love ourselves
things automatically
change. it becomes an
entirely new world
altogether

Reply

Farouk on August 13,


2010 at 1:14 am

so True Srinivas ,
especially point 3 and
4, they do work like
magic :)

Reply

Katie Brandt on August


13, 2010 at 5:40 am

Have you read How to


Win Friends? That is a
book that should be
required reading in
high school. The
author lays out exactly
what you said in the
post (minus the
comments on blogs
and emails considering
it was written in the
1930s :-) Good job
updating the timeless
wisdom in his book to
make sense today.
I will be following you
on the SkoolOfLife
glad I found it!

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


13, 2010 at 6:43 am

Katie,
Thanks. Glad to have
you as a new reader
over at The Skool of
Life. I really wish that
they had given us that
book to read in high
school. My life would
have been very
different in my early
20s if they had. I think
Jaky also made a great
point above about just
being yourself. One
thing I read recently on
a forum that I belong
to is that when you
stop wanting anything
from anybody then you
become really

magnetic because
thats the truest of who
you are at the roots.

Reply

Thom Singer on August


13, 2010 at 6:33 am

Can I add an 8th?


Follow through on
what you say you will
do. Very few people
have thefollow
through gene. When
you say I will
introduce you to...
Do it! People will be
drawn to the person
who does what they
say they will do!

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


16, 2010 at 6:59 am

Thom,
Agreed. When people
follow through on what
they say they will do it
makes us see them in a
very good light. We all
have people who are
flaky in our lives, so its
always refreshing
when somebody is not.

Reply

Cailen on August 13, 2010


at 11:13 am

Making people feel


good about themselves
is so rewarding. As a
lifestyle designer and
healthy living author, I
love to encourage
people to live better
and seek self-

acceptance. Its so
wonderful to be a part
of their journey as they
discover whats truly
miraculous about
themselves!
Best,
Cailen
writer, blogger, author

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


16, 2010 at 7:01 am

Cailen,
Absolutely. I think that
when you make people
feel good about
themselves you are
basically investing
your time and your
thoughts into positive
energy and as a result
you start to give off
positive energy.
Sounds kind of new
agey, but I think
theres alot of truth to
it.

Reply

Uzma on August 13, 2010


at 12:50 pm

That was truly heart


warming . Indeed the
way to create some
magic, by sharing it :-)
Loved the list. .The
first points and the
one of being warm.
Thanks for a great list

Reply

jonathanfigaro on August
15, 2010 at 8:18 am

When i respond to
blogs like this, i
usually try to show
how wise i am in the
particular area and ask
questions if Im not.
But what you said was
profound. Sending
people emails of how
you apprentice there
work, does come in
handy.
it breaks the ice and if
its pure honesty, well
you have just made a
friend. This is the best
way to create
networking partners
and be more human at
the same time.
Because sometimes we
forget, even though we
are typing. We are
more the same than we
are different.

Reply

Srinivas Rao on August


16, 2010 at 7:02 am

Yeah, email is
amazingly simple and
yet we forget how
powerful it can be. One
thing I read
somewhere that can
really take it up
another level is
sending a handwritten
thank you to
somebody. I think it
was Scott Stratten who
mentioned that.

Reply

Ananth on August 15,

2010 at 11:55 am

Thanks for the article. I


like it.

Reply

Diane on September 6,
2010 at 7:16 am

Srinivas, what a lifechanging article! If


everyone read this and
lived it what a
different world we
would have.
I especially love #2
and 4! Sending
someone something in
writing about how
much you appreciate
them or how special
they are is like giving
them a gift. And
another thought is to
send it via oldfashioned snail mail on
occasion. Most people
only ever receive junk
or bills. What a
wonderful surprise to
find a thoughtful and
kind letter instead.
Ive only known a
handful of truly warm
people, and they are
the in my opinion the
most extraordinary,
loving people Ive ever
known. They give
others the gift of
unconditional love and
complete acceptance.
Great blog! Ive just
found you and will be
a regular. Thank you!

Reply

Ky Ho on October 26, 2010


at 3:31 pm

Great ideas! For a


while I texted my
husband a specific
reason about why I
love him everyday and
I thought that brought
us closer. I think when
you focus on other
peoples good
qualities, they
inadvertantly do that
too. Ive written
randomly to my nieces
and nephew and told
them how much I love
them and they seemed
shocked and ask: what
makes you tell us that
now?
Then would you like to
teach me how to surf?
Ive done bogey
boarded and got hurt
doing just that. I am
afraid to try surfing.
And also I just heard
about a surfer getting
his leg bitten off by a
shark.
ky

Reply

nitin on January 29, 2011 at


1:27 pm

it was greatly
charming

Reply

shahid on November 16,


2011 at 6:13 pm

i have such a bad

personality that i dont


even know most of my
relatives. I always
think how to start a
conversation, I mean
hi, how are you im
fine then what should
i do carry on
conversation.

Reply

Jessica on April 20, 2012


at 5:18 pm

There is this book you


would really like, it
explains how to talk to
people its called
How to talk to
anyone. Goes into
detail about his and
super helpful!

Reply

Divya on February 1, 2012


at 11:22 am

Dear Srinivas,
Reading this article
was such a pleasure
and it was put forward
in such a simple way
that i could relate
myself to it.. your
article was a very
inspiring
thank you for these
wonderful tips.. god
bless

Reply

Jessica on April 20, 2012


at 5:16 pm

That is so true about


giving off positive
energy! I noticed when
Im in a good mood and

just feeling like I want


to hug everyone,
people look at me and
smile or even come up
and talk to me. I might
not even be smiling
but just feeling love.
lol :)) very magnetic!

Reply

mandy on May 22, 2012 at


6:26 am

very good post full of


inspiration .I am very
glad by reading
this.Please tell me
some more tips to
improve my
personality.

Reply

Joane on February 4, 2013


at 4:45 pm

Personality
development is all I
need.
My personality is some
kind of 75% introvert
& 25% extrovert.

Reply

Mr.MakingUsmile on
February 18, 2013 at 7:39
pm

Cool article. Everyone


needs to find new
ways to constantly
develop skills that help
build your magnetism.
I like your ideas
because I have
employees who need
to feel uplifted and
positive about the
daily duties.

Mr.MakingUsmile

Reply

Kyla on April 9, 2013 at


12:08 pm

The power questions


sound awesome! Ill
have to do something
like that soon, too.
I already have the
three suggestions you
do in your everyday life
implemented, but the
things you can do on
the internet hit me
hard. Im not very good
at being social, so
commenting on a blog
or emailing a person or
posting something on
their facebook wall
really isnt my cup of
tea. Honestly, it makes
me nervous. I have
social anxiety disorder,
and while Ive
managed to cultivate
coping skills in my
physical life, I dont
have the same coping
mechanisms in my
online life (as Im
typing this my foot is
twitching like crazy
from nerves XD).
But maybe I can
incorporate that more
in my online presence
and learn some new
coping skills. Thanks
for the great post!
Have a good one!

Reply

Del Cusay on April 19,


2013 at 10:03 am

This is what I really


need. Being magnetic
is essential in both
social and professional
life.

Reply

Mary Smith on December


23, 2013 at 10:55 pm

Thanks so much, this


article was extremely
helpful, Ive been
trying to find tips on
being magnetic but
nothing was so clear
and well written.
Ive been trying to be
magnetic for a while
now and this article is
really what I needed to
know what I wasnt
doing right. Ill make
sure to leave nice,
sincere comments on
peoples blogs :)
PS: thanks for the
adrenaline tip, Ill
make sure to use it

Reply

Dave on August 5, 2014 at


3:36 pm

A magnetic
personality?
Empathetic meaning
kind and considerate;
encouraging through
praise; comical;
interested in ALL
peoples not for the
quest of monetary
gainI am describing

my parents however,
these traits have not
worked well for myself
especially as I age. The
WW1 and 2
generations had a
much more wholesome
spiritual approach to
life than Baby Boomers
on down.

Reply

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