ThePhoebe

January 2015 Issue 2

Phoebe Defined......
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Freed From
Fatherlessness
page 2

That Happy Sad Place

page 3

In Search of Sisterhood
page 4

Phoebe Defined...
I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in
the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one
who is worthy of honor among Gods people. Help her in
whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many,
and especially to me. (Romans 16:1, 2 NLT)

So what's this Phoebe thing all about? Phoebe was a noted

female working along side the Apostle Paul. She proved to
be trustworthy and instrumental in the early church. The early
church suffered persecution at the hand of the Jewish people
and Roman rule. Under harsh conditions Phoebe managed
with others to do God's work; helping to save souls and take
the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a lost world. Just like Phoebe
of the early church, this Phoebe dares to bring the
unadulterated gospel truth to all readers, with emphasis on
women of all shades, types, ethnicities, social-economic,
secular and non-secular backgrounds. This quarterly
newsletter will prompt the reader to think introspectively and
act externally. Topics of interest will include: world views,
women's health, marriage and relationships, spirituality and
the like.
The hard truth is that daily people are dying because of poor
living conditions, being sold in the sex trade, ending
marriage prematurely and suffering from mental illness. That
list could go on, but we must breathe, and take every
moment into consideration. We must be intentional with
every step we take. We must be walking talking hope givers
to the lost and this newsletter intends to equip you with tools
to do that. We intend to keep Phoebe's legacy alive and
remain relevant in a time where authenticity and reality rarely
meet........and Purposeful Design for Women,

which is dedicated to the topic discussed in

this article, to be released in the fall 2014. 1

Freed From Fatherlessness

We have to fight ourselves
and win when it comes to
accepting who our fathers
were, who they are and
who they will be. They
may not have been there
for us. They may not be
there for us now or have
the capability to ever be
there for us in the future.
But our ability to let go of
the unmet expectations of

our fathers frees up space

within us to grow
differently. It avails to us
an opportunity to shift the
air in our atmospheres into
a place of peace,
awareness and
consciousness that we
were blocked from by
holding onto what we
thought our fathers should
have done. We don't have

Suggested
Reading:
Best read this year! The
basic concept of the text is
you reap what you sow in
everything, including your
thought life! Easy to
understand biblical
concepts that help the
reader to think in a totally
different, but consistent
and Godly way. This book
is truly,The secret to a
Joy-filled Life.

to be bound by unmet
father expectations. We
don't have to live in a way
that is confined to the
space of "I am broken
because he was not all he
could be," but we have to
make that choice. It is
contingent on our ability
to move instead of our
ability to blame.

Forgiveness is an act
of the will and the will
can function regardless
of the temperature of
the heart.
Corrie Ten Boom

"I want my life to be a novel that

when the book is read, the
reader has one more thought of
Christ than they did before..."
Rhonda C. White
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That Happy Sad Place

Peace in the Midst of Tragedy

Is there such a thing

as a happy sad
place?

My father set a high bar

for any person of an
aging parent. Although
she had been in a nursing
(Written in 12-2013)
home for almost 15
So the beginning of this
years, he rarely missed a
holiday season has been
day of going to care for
somber to say the least.
her. And when I say care,
With death, it is often
I mean, bathing,
said that it comes in
brushing, clipping,
threes. Well, I've found
washing, feeding,
myself crying out, "Lord,
walking, praying and
I got my three, just let it
singing with her daily. I
be!" I have attended
think one of my biggest
three funerals within 10
concerns is the void that
days; one of which was
will need to be filled in
my paternal
his life now that she is
grandmothers. I find
gone.
myself wondering in the
midst of all of this, is
It makes no sense to be
there such a thing as a
happy in all of this. The
happy sad place?
lives of the people that I
know who've lost a love
My grandmother was 98
one, will be changed
years old, just 10 days
forever. No more calls,
shy of her 99th birthday
no more laughs, no more
when she passed.
meals or holidays with
And while 98 years is
the person they cherish.
plenty enough to ask for,
But yet in the midst of
the absence of life has
that pain, time stops for
definitely caused a sting.
no man and the holidays
Even with her suffering
come upon us with a
from Alzheimers for
much brisker force this
several years and you
year. Memories, family
wanting the misery of
traditions and the good
that illness to go away,
times of the past are
you never want to see
bittersweet and now you
anyone go.
understand that life truly

is too short and nothing

should be taken for
granted.
My saving grace, in all
this? What makes me
chuckle even as my tears
roll down my face? What
makes my deep breathes
and sighs
worthwhile?.....it's the
realization that one day it
will be my turn too. And
my prayer is that when
that time comes, that I
will have lived a life
worth mourning for. That
I did my work here on
earth, just like many
before me. That changes
the whole perspective for
me. I don't have time to
mourn without purpose. I
must be diligent and
steadfast in the work that
I have been called to for
tomorrow nor the next is
promised and I refuse to
let the death angel catch
me in the middle of my
mission. I must persevere
attempting to walk in
goodness all the days of
my life so that those who
walked before me in the
ways of The Lord might
be honored.

That is my happy sad

place. I am saddened by
the temporary loss, but I
rejoice in the eternal
peace that my
grandmother has with
her Savior and the
assurance that I will one
day obtain that same
peace. Until then I have
work to do and so do
you! How will you spend
the rest of your days?
Will you mourn your
losses or make a
monument out of them?
When you establish
monuments in your life
they are used to
remember, to reflect, but
most importantly they
should move you to
action.On your mark;
Get set; Go!
"As for me, my life
has already been
poured out as an
offering to God. The
time of my death is
near. I have fought
the good fight, I have
finished the race,
and I have remained
faithful."
2 Timothy 4:6, 7 NLT

In Search of
sisterhood
What do you value most in a
sister? Accountability,
loyalty and transparency are
just a few values that seem
to be important to most.
Sisters who value
accountability most, want
people in their lives who
align with the highest truth
even when it may cause
them some detriment
initially. The truth hurts, but
it is still the truth. Others
value loyalty most. These
sisters want others to remain
in their corner regardless of
the situation. It is important
to them to know,
Regardless of if I am right
or wrong, you have my
back."Its ride or die," for
them or you are out the

door! Lastly, there are sisters

who value transparency
most. They value
authenticity or people who
are able to show the real
person on the inside in every
situation. While all of these
values are important, what
you value most determines
what people stay in your life
the longest and those you
will call sister in the end. I
recently celebrated my
twenty-fifth anniversary
with my line sisters. We
were very proud to
commemorate our 25 years
as a part of Delta Sigma
Theta. Sorority,
Incorporated. While we
laughed, cried and argued
just like old times, the whole

experience brought on a
plethora of emotions for my
sands and me. Some
relationships were
challenged and others were
restored and rejuvenated;
but any differences that
were revealed through this
reunion might have occurred
just because we value
differently. My prayer and
conviction is that we would
be intentional about making
the next 25 years different
and better than the first 25.
Personally I value
accountability most in
sisterhood and that does not
always feel good. In fact
sometimes it stings. But, if I
am ever to change, if I am
ever to be my best, I must

accept what those who love

me have to say, so that I can
grow no matter how it
makes me feel. Ultimately
it will make me better, not
bitter. Its vital for you to
fight for those relationships
that are important to you.
That is the only way you
will seek and find true
sisterhood.
21 D.E.E.P, I look forward
to continuing to grow with
each of you, even when it
hurts!
Wounds from a sincere
friend are better than
many kisses from an
enemy.
Proverbs 27:6 NLT

Rhonda C. White is the self published author of her

debut novel, Joshuas Coming, (amazon.com) an
inspirational story of a Christian couples struggle
with infertility and wounds from the past. This story
is loosely based on the authors life. She is
currently working on a book, entitled The Daddy
Void, Discovering the Creative and Purposeful
Design for Woman. She is a devoted wife of 16 years
and mother of a remarkable 8-year old daughter.
She serves at Christian Life Center in Tinley Park,
Illinois in the Childrens, Married Couples and
Counseling Ministries. She works as an adjunct
professor at Morton College and is a school district
Physical Therapist.
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