THELADYWITHTHEDOGANDOTHER

STORIES
By
AntonChekhov
TranslatedbyConstanceGarnett

CONTENTS:
THELADYWITHTHEDOG....................................................................................4
I...............................................................................................................................4
II .............................................................................................................................7
III ..........................................................................................................................12
IV..........................................................................................................................17
ADOCTOR'SVISIT.................................................................................................20
ANUPHEAVAL.......................................................................................................30
IONITCH ..................................................................................................................36
I.............................................................................................................................36
II ...........................................................................................................................40
III ..........................................................................................................................44
IV..........................................................................................................................47
V ...........................................................................................................................52
THEHEADOFTHEFAMILY.................................................................................54
THEBLACKMONK................................................................................................58
I.............................................................................................................................58
II ...........................................................................................................................63
III ..........................................................................................................................66
IV..........................................................................................................................69
V ...........................................................................................................................71
VI ..........................................................................................................................75
VII.........................................................................................................................78
VIII .......................................................................................................................81
IX..........................................................................................................................84
VOLODYA...............................................................................................................88
ANANONYMOUSSTORY.....................................................................................99
I.............................................................................................................................99
II ......................................................................................................................... 103
III ........................................................................................................................ 105
IV........................................................................................................................ 109
V ......................................................................................................................... 113
VI ........................................................................................................................ 118
VII....................................................................................................................... 125
VIII ..................................................................................................................... 127
IX........................................................................................................................ 130
X ......................................................................................................................... 133
XI ........................................................................................................................ 137
XII....................................................................................................................... 142
XIII ..................................................................................................................... 145
XIV ..................................................................................................................... 148
XV ...................................................................................................................... 152
XVI ..................................................................................................................... 155
XVII.................................................................................................................... 157
XVIII................................................................................................................... 163

THEHUSBAND..................................................................................................... 167

THELADYWITHTHEDOG
I
ITwassaidthatanewpersonhadappearedontheseafront:aladywithalittledog.
DmitriDmitritchGurov,whohadbythenbeenafortnightatYalta,andsowasfairlyat
homethere,hadbeguntotakeaninterestinnewarrivals.SittinginVerney'spavilion,he
saw,walkingontheseafront,afairhairedyoungladyofmediumheight,wearinga
_bret_awhitePomeraniandogwasrunningbehindher.
Andafterwardshemetherinthepublicgardensandinthesquareseveraltimesaday.
Shewaswalkingalone,alwayswearingthesame_bret_,andalwayswiththesame
whitedognooneknewwhoshewas,andeveryonecalledhersimply"theladywiththe
dog."
"Ifsheisherealonewithoutahusbandorfriends,itwouldn'tbeamisstomakeher
acquaintance,"Gurovreflected.
Hewasunderforty,buthehadadaughteralreadytwelveyearsold,andtwosonsat
school.Hehadbeenmarriedyoung,whenhewasastudentinhissecondyear,andby
nowhiswifeseemedhalfasoldagainashe.Shewasatall,erectwomanwithdark
eyebrows,staidanddignified,and,asshesaidofherself,intellectual.Shereadagreat
deal,usedphoneticspelling,calledherhusband,notDmitri,butDimitri,andhesecretly
consideredherunintelligent,narrow,inelegant,wasafraidofher,anddidnotliketobeat
home.Hehadbegunbeingunfaithfultoherlongagohadbeenunfaithfultoheroften,
and,probablyonthataccount,almostalwaysspokeillofwomen,andwhentheywere
talkedaboutinhispresence,usedtocallthem"thelowerrace."
Itseemedtohimthathehadbeensoschooledbybitterexperiencethathemightcall
themwhatheliked,andyethecouldnotgetonfortwodaystogetherwithout"thelower
race."Inthesocietyofmenhewasboredandnothimself,withthemhewascoldand
uncommunicativebutwhenhewasinthecompanyofwomenhefeltfree,andknew
whattosaytothemandhowtobehaveandhewasateasewiththemevenwhenhewas
silent.Inhisappearance,inhischaracter,inhiswholenature,therewassomething
attractiveandelusivewhichalluredwomenanddisposedtheminhisfavourheknew
that,andsomeforceseemedtodrawhim,too,tothem.
Experienceoftenrepeated,trulybitterexperience,hadtaughthimlongagothatwith
decentpeople,especiallyMoscowpeoplealwaysslowtomoveandirresoluteevery
intimacy,whichatfirstsoagreeablydiversifieslifeandappearsalightandcharming
adventure,inevitablygrowsintoaregularproblemofextremeintricacy,andinthelong
runthesituationbecomesunbearable.Butateveryfreshmeetingwithaninteresting
womanthisexperienceseemedtoslipoutofhismemory,andhewaseagerforlife,and
everythingseemedsimpleandamusing.

Oneeveninghewasdininginthegardens,andtheladyinthe_bret_cameupslowlyto
takethenexttable.Herexpression,hergait,herdress,andthewayshedidherhairtold
himthatshewasalady,thatshewasmarried,thatshewasinYaltaforthefirsttimeand
alone,andthatshewasdullthere....Thestoriestoldoftheimmoralityinsuchplacesas
Yaltaaretoagreatextentuntruehedespisedthem,andknewthatsuchstorieswerefor
themostpartmadeupbypersonswhowouldthemselveshavebeengladtosinifthey
hadbeenablebutwhentheladysatdownatthenexttablethreepacesfromhim,he
rememberedthesetalesofeasyconquests,oftripstothemountains,andthetempting
thoughtofaswift,fleetingloveaffair,aromancewithanunknownwoman,whosename
hedidnotknow,suddenlytookpossessionofhim.
HebeckonedcoaxinglytothePomeranian,andwhenthedogcameuptohimheshook
hisfingeratit.ThePomeraniangrowled:Gurovshookhisfingeratitagain.
Theladylookedathimandatoncedroppedhereyes.
"Hedoesn'tbite,"shesaid,andblushed.
"MayIgivehimabone?"heaskedandwhenshenoddedheaskedcourteously,"Have
youbeenlonginYalta?"
"Fivedays."
"AndIhavealreadydraggedoutafortnighthere."
Therewasabriefsilence.
"Timegoesfast,andyetitissodullhere!"shesaid,notlookingathim.
"That'sonlythefashiontosayitisdullhere.AprovincialwillliveinBelyovorZhidra
andnotbedull,andwhenhecomeshereit's'Oh,thedulness!Oh,thedust!'Onewould
thinkhecamefromGrenada."
Shelaughed.Thenbothcontinuedeatinginsilence,likestrangers,butafterdinnerthey
walkedsidebysideandtheresprangupbetweenthemthelightjestingconversationof
peoplewhoarefreeandsatisfied,towhomitdoesnotmatterwheretheygoorwhatthey
talkabout.Theywalkedandtalkedofthestrangelightonthesea:thewaterwasofasoft
warmlilachue,andtherewasagoldenstreakfromthemoonuponit.Theytalkedofhow
sultryitwasafterahotday.GurovtoldherthathecamefromMoscow,thathehadtaken
hisdegreeinArts,buthadapostinabankthathehadtrainedasanoperasinger,but
hadgivenitup, thatheownedtwohousesinMoscow....Andfromherhelearntthat
shehadgrownupinPetersburg,buthadlivedinS sincehermarriagetwoyears
before,thatshewasstayinganothermonthinYalta,andthatherhusband,whoneededa
holidaytoo, mightperhapscomeandfetchher.Shewasnotsurewhetherherhusband

hadapostinaCrownDepartmentorundertheProvincialCouncilandwasamusedby
herownignorance.AndGurovlearnt,too,thatshewascalledAnnaSergeyevna.
Afterwardshethoughtaboutherinhisroomatthehotelthoughtshewouldcertainly
meethimnextdayitwouldbesuretohappen.Ashegotintobedhethoughthowlately
shehadbeenagirlatschool,doinglessonslikehisowndaughterherecalledthe
diffidence,theangularity,thatwasstillmanifestinherlaughandhermanneroftalking
withastranger.Thismusthavebeenthefirsttimeinherlifeshehadbeenalonein
surroundingsinwhichshewasfollowed,lookedat,andspokentomerelyfromasecret
motivewhich shecouldhardlyfailtoguess.Herecalledherslender,delicateneck,her
lovelygreyeyes.
"There'ssomethingpatheticabouther,anyway,"hethought,andfellasleep.

II
Aweekhadpassedsincetheyhadmadeacquaintance.Itwasaholiday.Itwassultry
indoors,whileinthestreetthewindwhirledthedustroundandround,andblewpeople's
hatsoff.Itwasathirstyday,andGurovoftenwentintothepavilion,andpressedAnna
Sergeyevnatohavesyrupandwateroranice.Onedidnotknowwhattodowithoneself.
Intheeveningwhenthewindhaddroppedalittle,theywentoutonthegroynetoseethe
steamercomein.Therewereagreatmanypeoplewalkingabouttheharbourtheyhad
gatheredtowelcomesomeone,bringingbouquets.Andtwopeculiaritiesofawell
dressedYaltacrowdwereveryconspicuous:theelderlyladiesweredressedlikeyoung
ones,andthereweregreatnumbersofgenerals.
Owingtotheroughnessofthesea,thesteamerarrivedlate,afterthesunhadset,andit
wasalongtimeturningaboutbeforeitreachedthegroyne.AnnaSergeyevnalooked
throughherlorgnetteatthesteamerandthepassengersasthoughlookingfor
acquaintances,andwhensheturnedtoGurovhereyeswereshining.Shetalkedagreat
dealandaskeddisconnectedquestions,forgettingnextmomentwhatshehadaskedthen
shedroppedherlorgnetteinthecrush.
Thefestivecrowdbegantodisperseitwastoodarktoseepeople'sfaces.Thewindhad
completelydropped,butGurovandAnnaSergeyevnastillstoodasthoughwaitingtosee
someoneelsecomefromthesteamer.AnnaSergeyevnawassilentnow,andsniffedthe
flowerswithoutlookingatGurov.
"Theweatherisbetterthisevening,"hesaid."Whereshallwegonow?Shallwedrive
somewhere?"
Shemadenoanswer.
Thenhelookedatherintently,andallatonceputhisarmroundherandkissedheronthe
lips,andbreathedinthemoistureandthefragranceoftheflowersandheimmediately
lookedroundhim,anxiouslywonderingwhetheranyonehadseenthem.
"Letusgotoyourhotel,"hesaidsoftly.Andbothwalkedquickly.
TheroomwascloseandsmeltofthescentshehadboughtattheJapaneseshop.Gurov
lookedatherandthought:"Whatdifferentpeopleonemeetsintheworld!"Fromthepast
hepreservedmemoriesofcareless,goodnaturedwomen,wholovedcheerfullyandwere
gratefultohimforthehappinesshegavethem,howeverbriefitmightbeandofwomen
likehiswifewholovedwithoutanygenuinefeeling,withsuperfluousphrases,
affectedly,hysterically,withanexpressionthatsuggestedthatitwasnotlovenor
passion,butsomethingmoresignificantandoftwoorthreeothers,verybeautiful,cold
women,onwhosefaceshehadcaughtaglimpseofarapaciousexpressionanobstinate
desiretosnatchfromlifemorethanitcouldgive,andthesewerecapricious,unreflecting,

domineering,unintelligentwomennotintheirfirstyouth,andwhenGurovgrewcoldto
themtheirbeautyexcitedhishatred,andthelaceontheirlinenseemedtohimlikescales.
Butinthiscasetherewasstillthediffidence,theangularityofinexperiencedyouth,an
awkwardfeelingandtherewasasenseofconsternationasthoughsomeonehad
suddenlyknockedatthedoor.TheattitudeofAnnaSergeyevna"theladywiththedog"
towhathadhappenedwassomehowpeculiar,verygrave,asthoughitwereherfallso
itseemed,anditwasstrangeandinappropriate.Herfacedroppedandfaded,andonboth
sidesofitherlonghairhungdownmournfullyshemusedinadejectedattitudelike"the
womanwhowasasinner"inanoldfashionedpicture.
"It'swrong,"shesaid."Youwillbethefirsttodespisemenow."
Therewasawatermelononthetable.Gurovcuthimselfasliceandbeganeatingit
withouthaste.Therefollowedatleasthalfanhourofsilence.
AnnaSergeyevnawastouchingtherewasaboutherthepurityofagood,simplewoman
whohadseenlittleoflife.Thesolitarycandleburningonthetablethrewafaintlighton
herface,yetitwasclearthatshewasveryunhappy.
"HowcouldIdespiseyou?"askedGurov."Youdon'tknowwhatyouaresaying."
"Godforgiveme,"shesaid,andhereyesfilledwithtears."It'sawful."
"Youseemtofeelyouneedtobeforgiven."
"Forgiven?No.Iamabad,lowwomanIdespisemyselfanddon'tattempttojustify
myself.It'snotmyhusbandbutmyselfIhavedeceived.AndnotonlyjustnowIhave
beendeceivingmyselfforalongtime.Myhusbandmaybeagood,honestman,butheis
aflunkey!Idon'tknowwhathedoesthere,whathisworkis,butIknowheisaflunkey!
IwastwentywhenIwasmarriedtohim.IhavebeentormentedbycuriosityIwanted
somethingbetter.'Theremustbeadifferentsortoflife,'Isaidtomyself.Iwantedtolive!
Tolive,tolive!...Iwasfiredbycuriosity...youdon'tunderstandit,but,Iswearto
God,Icouldnotcontrolmyselfsomethinghappenedtome:Icouldnotberestrained.I
toldmyhusbandIwasill,andcamehere....AndhereIhavebeenwalkingaboutas
thoughIweredazed,likeamadcreature...andnowIhavebecomeavulgar,
contemptiblewomanwhomanyonemaydespise."
Gurovfeltboredalready,listeningtoher.Hewasirritatedbythenavetone,bythis
remorse,sounexpectedandinopportunebutforthetearsinhereyes,hemighthave
thoughtshewasjestingorplayingapart.
"Idon'tunderstand,"hesaidsoftly."Whatisityouwant?"
Shehidherfaceonhisbreastandpressedclosetohim.

"Believeme,believeme,Ibeseechyou..."shesaid."Iloveapure,honestlife,andsin
isloathsometome.Idon'tknowwhatIamdoing.Simplepeoplesay:'TheEvilOnehas
beguiledme.'AndImaysayofmyselfnowthattheEvilOnehasbeguiledme."
"Hush,hush!..."hemuttered.
Helookedatherfixed,scaredeyes,kissedher,talkedsoftlyandaffectionately,andby
degreesshewascomforted,andhergaietyreturnedtheybothbeganlaughing.
Afterwardswhentheywentouttherewasnotasoulontheseafront.Thetownwithits
cypresseshadquiteadeathlikeair,buttheseastillbrokenoisilyontheshoreasingle
bargewasrockingonthewaves,andalanternwasblinkingsleepilyonit.
TheyfoundacabanddrovetoOreanda.
"Ifoundoutyoursurnameinthehalljustnow:itwaswrittenontheboardVon
Diderits,"saidGurov."IsyourhusbandaGerman?"
"NoIbelievehisgrandfatherwasaGerman,butheisanOrthodoxRussianhimself."
AtOreandatheysatonaseatnotfarfromthechurch,lookeddownatthesea,andwere
silent.Yaltawashardlyvisiblethroughthemorningmistwhitecloudsstoodmotionless
onthemountaintops.Theleavesdidnotstironthetrees,grasshopperschirruped,andthe
monotonoushollowsoundofthesearisingupfrombelow,spokeofthepeace,ofthe
eternalsleepawaitingus.SoitmusthavesoundedwhentherewasnoYalta,noOreanda
heresoitsoundsnow,anditwillsoundasindifferentlyandmonotonouslywhenweare
allnomore.Andinthisconstancy,inthiscompleteindifferencetothelifeanddeathof
eachofus,therelieshid,perhaps,apledgeofoureternalsalvation,oftheunceasing
movementoflifeuponearth,ofunceasingprogresstowardsperfection.Sittingbesidea
youngwomanwhointhedawnseemedsolovely,soothedandspellboundinthese
magicalsurroundingsthesea,mountains,clouds,theopenskyGurovthoughthowin
realityeverythingisbeautifulinthisworldwhenonereflects:everythingexceptwhatwe
thinkordoourselveswhenweforgetourhumandignityandthehigheraimsofour
existence.
Amanwalkeduptothemprobablyakeeperlookedatthemandwalkedaway.Andthis
detailseemedmysteriousandbeautiful,too.TheysawasteamercomefromTheodosia,
withitslightsoutintheglowofdawn.
"Thereisdewonthegrass,"saidAnnaSergeyevna,afterasilence.
"Yes.It'stimetogohome."
Theywentbacktothetown.

Thentheymeteverydayattwelveo'clockontheseafront,lunchedanddinedtogether,
wentforwalks,admiredthesea.Shecomplainedthatshesleptbadly,thatherheart
throbbedviolentlyaskedthesamequestions,troublednowbyjealousyandnowbythe
fearthathedidnotrespecthersufficiently.Andofteninthesquareorgardens,when
therewasnoonenearthem,hesuddenlydrewhertohimandkissedherpassionately.
Completeidleness,thesekissesinbroaddaylightwhilehelookedroundindreadofsome
one'sseeingthem,theheat,thesmellofthesea,andthecontinualpassingtoandfro
beforehimofidle,welldressed,wellfedpeople,madeanewmanofhimhetoldAnna
Sergeyevnahowbeautifulshewas,howfascinating.Hewasimpatientlypassionate,he
wouldnotmoveastepawayfromher,whileshewasoftenpensiveandcontinuallyurged
himtoconfessthathedidnotrespecther,didnotloveherintheleast,andthoughtofher
asnothingbutacommonwoman.Ratherlatealmosteveryeveningtheydrove
somewhereoutoftown,toOreandaortothewaterfallandtheexpeditionwasalwaysa
success,thesceneryinvariablyimpressedthemasgrandandbeautiful.
Theywereexpectingherhusbandtocome,butalettercamefromhim,sayingthatthere
wassomethingwrongwithhiseyes,andheentreatedhiswifetocomehomeasquickly
aspossible.AnnaSergeyevnamadehastetogo.
"It'sagoodthingIam goingaway,"shesaidtoGurov."It'sthefingerofdestiny!"
Shewentbycoachandhewentwithher.Theyweredrivingthewholeday.Whenshe
hadgotintoacompartmentoftheexpress,andwhenthesecondbellhadrung,shesaid:
"Letmelookatyouoncemore...lookatyouonceagain.That'sright."
Shedidnotshedtears,butwassosadthatsheseemedill,andherfacewasquivering.
"Ishallrememberyou...thinkofyou,"shesaid."Godbewithyoubehappy.Don't
rememberevilagainstme.Wearepartingforeveritmustbeso,forweoughtneverto
havemet.Well,Godbewithyou."
Thetrainmovedoffrapidly,itslightssoonvanishedfromsight,andaminutelaterthere
wasnosoundofit,asthougheverythinghadconspiredtogethertoendasquicklyas
possiblethatsweetdelirium,thatmadness.Leftaloneontheplatform,andgazinginto
thedarkdistance,Gurovlistenedtothechirrupofthegrasshoppersandthehumofthe
telegraphwires,feelingasthoughhehadonlyjustwakedup.Andhethought,musing,
thattherehadbeenanotherepisodeoradventureinhislife,andit,too,wasatanend,and
nothingwasleftofitbutamemory....Hewasmoved,sad,andconsciousofaslight
remorse.Thisyoungwomanwhomhewouldnevermeetagainhadnotbeenhappywith
himhewasgenuinelywarmandaffectionatewithher,butyetinhismanner,histone,
andhiscaressestherehadbeenashadeoflightirony,thecoarsecondescensionofa
happymanwhowas,besides,almosttwiceherage.All thetimeshehadcalledhimkind,
exceptional,loftyobviouslyhehadseemedtoherdifferentfromwhathereallywas,so
hehadunintentionallydeceivedher....

Hereatthestationwasalreadyascentofautumnitwasacoldevening.
"It'stimeformetogonorth,"thoughtGurovashelefttheplatform."Hightime!"

III
AthomeinMoscoweverythingwasinitswinterroutinethestoveswereheated,andin
themorningitwasstilldarkwhenthechildrenwerehavingbreakfastandgettingready
forschool,andthenursewouldlightthelampforashorttime.Thefrostshadbegun
already.Whenthefirstsnowhasfallen,onthefirstdayofsledgedrivingitispleasantto
seethewhiteearth,thewhiteroofs,todrawsoft,deliciousbreath,andtheseasonbrings
backthedaysofone'syouth.Theoldlimesandbirches,whitewithhoarfrost,havea
goodnaturedexpressiontheyarenearertoone'sheartthancypressesandpalms,and
nearthemonedoesn'twanttobethinkingoftheseaandthemountains.
GurovwasMoscowbornhearrivedinMoscowonafinefrostyday,andwhenheputon
hisfurcoatandwarmgloves,andwalkedalongPetrovka,andwhenonSaturdayevening
heheardtheringingofthebells,hisrecenttripandtheplaceshehadseenlostallcharm
forhim.LittlebylittlehebecameabsorbedinMoscowlife,greedilyreadthree
newspapersaday,anddeclaredhedidnotreadtheMoscowpapersonprinciple!He
alreadyfeltalongingtogotorestaurants,clubs,dinnerparties,anniversarycelebrations,
andhefeltflatteredatentertainingdistinguishedlawyersandartists,andatplayingcards
withaprofessoratthedoctors'club.Hecouldalreadyeatawholeplatefulofsaltfishand
cabbage.
Inanothermonth,hefancied,theimageofAnnaSergeyevnawouldbeshroudedinamist
inhismemory,andonlyfromtimetotimewouldvisithiminhisdreamswithatouching
smileasothersdid.Butmorethanamonthpassed,realwinterhadcome,andeverything
wasstillclearinhismemoryasthough hehadpartedwithAnnaSergeyevnaonlytheday
before.Andhismemoriesglowedmoreandmorevividly.Whenintheeveningstillness
heheardfromhisstudythevoicesofhischildren,preparingtheirlessons,orwhenhe
listenedtoasongortheorganattherestaurant,orthestormhowledinthechimney,
suddenlyeverythingwouldriseupinhismemory:whathadhappenedonthegroyne,and
theearlymorningwiththemistonthemountains,andthesteamercomingfrom
Theodosia,andthekisses.Hewouldpacealongtimeabouthisroom,rememberingitall
andsmilingthenhismemoriespassedintodreams,andinhisfancythepastwasmingled
withwhatwastocome.AnnaSergeyevnadidnotvisithimindreams,butfollowedhim
abouteverywherelikeashadowandhauntedhim.Whenheshuthiseyeshesawheras
thoughshewerelivingbeforehim,andsheseemedtohimlovelier,younger,tenderer
thanshewasandheimaginedhimselffinerthanhehadbeeninYalta.Intheevenings
shepeepedoutathimfromthebookcase,fromthefireplace,fromthecornerheheard
herbreathing,thecaressingrustleofherdress.Inthestreethewatchedthewomen,
lookingforsomeonelikeher.
Hewastormentedbyanintensedesiretoconfidehismemoriestosomeone.Butinhis
homeitwasimpossibletotalkofhislove,andhehadnooneoutsidehecouldnottalkto
histenantsnortoanyoneatthebank.Andwhathadhetotalkof?Hadhebeeninlove,
then?Hadtherebeenanythingbeautiful,poetical,oredifyingorsimplyinterestinginhis
relationswithAnnaSergeyevna?Andtherewasnothingforhimbuttotalkvaguelyof

love,ofwoman,andnooneguessedwhatitmeantonlyhiswifetwitchedherblack
eyebrows,andsaid:
"Thepartofaladykillerdoesnotsuityouatall,Dimitri."
Oneevening,comingoutofthedoctors'clubwithanofficialwithwhomhehadbeen
playingcards,hecouldnotresistsaying:
"IfonlyyouknewwhatafascinatingwomanImadetheacquaintanceofinYalta!"
Theofficialgotintohissledgeandwasdrivingaway,butturnedsuddenlyandshouted:
"DmitriDmitritch!"
"What?"
"Youwererightthisevening:thesturgeonwasabittoostrong!"
Thesewords,soordinary,forsomereasonmovedGurovtoindignation,andstruckhim
asdegradingandunclean.Whatsavagemanners,whatpeople!Whatsenselessnights,
whatuninteresting,uneventfuldays!Therageforcardplaying,thegluttony,the
drunkenness,thecontinualtalkalwaysaboutthesamething.Uselesspursuitsand
conversationsalwaysaboutthesamethingsabsorbthebetterpartofone'stime,thebetter
partofone'sstrength,andintheendthereisleftalifegrovellingandcurtailed,worthless
andtrivial,andthereisnoescapingorgettingawayfromitjustasthoughonewereina
madhouseoraprison.
Gurovdidnotsleepallnight,andwasfilledwithindignation.Andhehadaheadacheall
nextday.Andthenextnighthesleptbadlyhesatupinbed,thinking,orpacedupand
downhisroom.Hewassickofhischildren,sickofthebankhehadnodesiretogo
anywhereortotalkofanything.
IntheholidaysinDecemberhepreparedforajourney,andtoldhiswifehewasgoingto
PetersburgtodosomethingintheinterestsofayoungfriendandhesetoffforS.
Whatfor?Hedidnotverywellknowhimself.HewantedtoseeAnnaSergeyevnaandto
talkwithhertoarrangeameeting,ifpossible.
HereachedSinthemorning,andtookthebestroomatthehotel,inwhichthefloor
wascoveredwithgreyarmycloth,andonthe tablewasaninkstand,greywithdustand
adornedwithafigureonhorseback,withitshatinitshandanditsheadbrokenoff.The
hotelportergavehimthenecessaryinformationVonDideritslivedinahouseofhisown
inOldGontcharnyStreetitwasnotfarfromthehotel:hewasrichandlivedingood
style,andhadhisownhorseseveryoneinthetownknewhim.Theporterpronounced
thename"Dridirits."

GurovwentwithouthastetoOldGontcharnyStreetandfoundthehouse.Justopposite
thehousestretchedalonggreyfenceadornedwithnails.
"Onewouldrunawayfromafencelikethat,"thoughtGurov,lookingfromthefenceto
thewindowsofthehouseandbackagain.
Heconsidered:todaywasaholiday,andthehusbandwouldprobablybeathome.And
inanycaseitwouldbetactlesstogointothehouseandupsether.Ifheweretosendhera
noteitmightfallintoherhusband'shands,andthenitmightruineverything.Thebest
thingwastotrusttochance.Andhekeptwalkingupanddownthestreetbythefence,
waitingforthechance.Hesawabeggargoinatthegateanddogsflyathimthenan
hourlaterheheardapiano,andthesoundswerefaintandindistinct.Probablyitwas
AnnaSergeyevnaplaying.Thefrontdoorsuddenlyopened,andanoldwomancameout,
followedbythefamiliarwhitePomeranian.Gurovwasonthepointofcallingtothedog,
buthisheartbeganbeatingviolently,andinhisexcitementhecouldnotrememberthe
dog'sname.
Hewalkedupanddown,andloathedthegreyfencemoreandmore,andbynowhe
thoughtirritablythatAnnaSergeyevnahadforgottenhim,andwasperhapsalready
amusingherselfwithsomeoneelse,andthatthatwasverynaturalinayoungwoman
whohadnothingtolookatfrommorningtillnightbutthatconfoundedfence.Hewent
backtohishotelroomandsatforalongwhileonthesofa,notknowingwhattodo,then
hehaddinnerandalongnap.
"Howstupidandworryingitis!"hethoughtwhenhewokeandlookedatthedark
windows:itwasalreadyevening."HereI'vehadagoodsleepforsomereason.What
shallIdointhenight?"
Hesatonthebed,whichwascoveredbyacheapgreyblanket,suchasoneseesin
hospitals,andhetauntedhimselfinhisvexation:
"Somuchfortheladywiththedog. ..somuchfortheadventure....You'reinanice
fix...."
Thatmorningatthestationaposterinlargelettershadcaughthiseye."TheGeisha"was
tobeperformedforthefirsttime.Hethoughtofthisandwenttothetheatre.
"It'squitepossibleshemaygotothefirstperformance,"hethought.
Thetheatrewasfull.Asinallprovincialtheatres,therewasafogabovethechandelier,
thegallerywasnoisyandrestlessinthefrontrowthelocaldandieswerestandingup
beforethebeginningoftheperformance,withtheirhandsbehindthemintheGovernor's
boxtheGovernor'sdaughter,wearingaboa,wassittinginthefrontseat,whilethe
Governorhimselflurkedmodestlybehindthecurtainwithonlyhishandsvisiblethe
orchestrawasalongtimetuningupthestagecurtainswayed.Allthetimetheaudience
werecominginandtakingtheirseatsGurovlookedatthemeagerly.

AnnaSergeyevna,too,camein.Shesatdowninthethirdrow,andwhenGurovlookedat
herhisheartcontracted,andheunderstoodclearlythatforhimtherewasinthewhole
worldnocreaturesonear,soprecious,andsoimportanttohimshe,thislittlewoman,in
nowayremarkable,lostinaprovincialcrowd,withavulgarlorgnetteinherhand,filled
hiswholelifenow,washissorrowandhisjoy,theonehappinessthathenowdesiredfor
himself,andtothesoundsoftheinferiororchestra,ofthewretchedprovincialviolins,he
thoughthowlovelyshewas.Hethoughtanddreamed.
Ayoungmanwithsmallsidewhiskers,tallandstooping,cameinwithAnnaSergeyevna
andsatdownbesideherhebenthisheadateverystepandseemedtobecontinually
bowing.MostlikelythiswasthehusbandwhomatYalta,inarushofbitterfeeling,she
hadcalledaflunkey.Andtherereallywasinhislongfigure,hissidewhiskers,andthe
smallbaldpatchonhishead,somethingoftheflunkey'sobsequiousnesshissmilewas
sugary,andinhisbuttonholetherewassomebadgeofdistinctionlikethenumberona
waiter.
Duringthefirstintervalthehusbandwentawaytosmokesheremainedaloneinherstall.
Gurov,whowassittinginthestalls,too,wentuptoherandsaidinatremblingvoice,
withaforcedsmile:
"Goodevening."
Sheglancedathimandturnedpale,thenglancedagainwithhorror,unabletobelieveher
eyes,andtightlygrippedthefanandthelorgnetteinherhands,evidentlystrugglingwith
herselfnottofaint.Bothweresilent.Shewassitting,hewasstanding,frightenedbyher
confusionandnotventuringtositdownbesideher.Theviolinsandtheflutebegantuning
up.Hefeltsuddenlyfrighteneditseemedasthoughallthepeopleintheboxeswere
lookingatthem.Shegotupandwentquicklytothedoorhefollowedher,andboth
walkedsenselesslyalongpassages,andupanddownstairs,andfiguresinlegal,
scholastic,andcivilserviceuniforms,allwearingbadges,flittedbeforetheireyes.They
caughtglimpsesofladies,offurcoatshangingonpegsthedraughtsblewonthem,
bringingasmellofstaletobacco.AndGurov,whoseheartwasbeatingviolently,thought:
"Oh,heavens!Whyarethesepeoplehereandthisorchestra!..."
AndatthatinstantherecalledhowwhenhehadseenAnnaSergeyevnaoffatthestation
hehadthoughtthateverythingwasoverandtheywouldnevermeetagain.Buthowfar
theywerestillfromtheend!
Onthenarrow,gloomystaircaseoverwhichwaswritten"TotheAmphitheatre,"she
stopped.
"Howyouhavefrightenedme!"shesaid,breathinghard,stillpaleandoverwhelmed.
"Oh,howyouhavefrightenedme!Iamhalfdead.Whyhaveyoucome?Why?"

"Butdounderstand,Anna,dounderstand..."hesaidhastilyinalowvoice."Ientreat
youtounderstand...."
Shelookedathimwithdread,withentreaty,withloveshelookedathimintently,to
keephisfeaturesmoredistinctlyinhermemory.
"Iamsounhappy,"shewenton,notheedinghim."Ihavethoughtofnothingbutyouall
thetimeIliveonlyinthethoughtofyou.AndIwantedtoforget,toforgetyoubutwhy,
oh,why,haveyoucome?"
Onthelandingabovethemtwoschoolboysweresmokingandlookingdown,butthat
wasnothingtoGurovhedrewAnnaSergeyevnatohim,andbegankissingherface,her
cheeks,andherhands.
"Whatareyoudoing,whatareyoudoing!"shecriedinhorror,pushinghimaway."We
aremad.Goawaytodaygoawayatonce....Ibeseechyoubyallthatissacred,I
imploreyou....Therearepeoplecomingthisway!"
Someonewascomingupthestairs.
"Youmustgoaway,"AnnaSergeyevnawentoninawhisper."Doyouhear,Dmitri
Dmitritch?IwillcomeandseeyouinMoscow.IhaveneverbeenhappyIammiserable
now,andInever,nevershallbehappy,never!Don'tmakemesufferstillmore!Iswear
I'llcometoMoscow.Butnowletuspart.Myprecious,good,dearone,wemustpart!"
Shepressedhishandandbeganrapidlygoingdownstairs,lookingroundathim,andfrom
hereyeshecouldseethatshereallywasunhappy.Gurovstoodforalittlewhile,listened,
then,whenallsoundhaddiedaway,hefoundhiscoatandleftthetheatre.

IV
AndAnnaSergeyevnabegancomingtoseehiminMoscow.Onceintwoorthreemonths
sheleftS,tellingherhusbandthatshewasgoingtoconsultadoctoraboutaninternal
complaintandherhusbandbelievedher,anddidnotbelieveher.InMoscowshestayed
attheSlavianskyBazaarhotel,andatoncesentamaninaredcaptoGurov.Gurovwent
toseeher,andnooneinMoscowknewofit.
Oncehewasgoingtoseeherinthiswayonawintermorning(themessengerhadcome
theeveningbeforewhenhewasout).Withhimwalkedhisdaughter,whomhewantedto
taketoschool:itwasontheway.Snowwasfallinginbigwetflakes.
"It'sthreedegreesabovefreezingpoint,andyetitissnowing,"saidGurovtohis
daughter."Thethawisonlyonthesurfaceoftheearththereisquiteadifferent
temperatureatagreaterheightintheatmosphere."
"Andwhyaretherenothunderstormsinthewinter,father?"
Heexplainedthat,too.Hetalked,thinkingallthewhilethathewasgoingtoseeher,and
nolivingsoulknewofit,andprobablyneverwouldknow.Hehadtwolives:one,open,
seenandknownbyallwhocaredtoknow,fullofrelativetruthandofrelativefalsehood,
exactlylikethelivesofhisfriendsandacquaintancesandanotherliferunningitscourse
insecret.Andthroughsomestrange,perhapsaccidental,conjunctionofcircumstances,
everythingthatwasessential,ofinterestandofvaluetohim,everythinginwhichhewas
sincereanddidnotdeceivehimself,everythingthatmadethekernelofhislife,was
hiddenfromotherpeopleandallthatwasfalseinhim,thesheathinwhichhehid
himselftoconcealthetruthsuch,forinstance,ashisworkinthebank,hisdiscussionsat
theclub,his"lowerrace,"hispresencewithhiswifeatanniversaryfestivitiesallthat
wasopen.Andhejudgedofothersbyhimself,notbelievinginwhathesaw,andalways
believingthateverymanhadhisreal,mostinterestinglifeunderthecoverofsecrecyand
underthecoverofnight.Allpersonalliferestedonsecrecy,andpossiblyitwaspartlyon
thataccountthatcivilisedmanwassonervouslyanxiousthatpersonalprivacyshouldbe
respected.
Afterleavinghisdaughteratschool,GurovwentontotheSlavianskyBazaar.Hetook
offhisfurcoatbelow,wentupstairs,andsoftlyknockedatthedoor.AnnaSergeyevna,
wearinghisfavouritegreydress,exhaustedbythejourneyandthesuspense,hadbeen
expectinghimsincetheeveningbefore.Shewaspaleshelookedathim,anddidnot
smile,andhehadhardlycomeinwhenshefellonhisbreast.Theirkisswasslowand
prolonged,asthoughtheyhadnotmetfortwoyears.
"Well,howareyougettingonthere?"heasked."Whatnews?"
"WaitI'lltellyoudirectly....Ican'ttalk."

Shecouldnotspeakshewascrying.Sheturnedawayfromhim,andpressedher
handkerchieftohereyes.
"Letherhavehercryout.I'llsitdownandwait,"hethought,andhesatdowninanarm
chair.
Thenherangandaskedforteatobebroughthim,andwhilehedrankhisteashe
remainedstandingatthewindowwithherbacktohim.Shewascryingfromemotion,
fromthemiserableconsciousnessthattheirlifewassohardforthemtheycouldonly
meetinsecret,hidingthemselvesfrompeople,likethieves!Wasnottheirlifeshattered?
"Come,dostop!"hesaid.
Itwasevidenttohimthatthisloveoftheirswouldnotsoonbeover,thathecouldnotsee
theendofit.AnnaSergeyevnagrewmoreandmoreattachedtohim.Sheadoredhim,
anditwasunthinkabletosaytoherthatitwasboundtohaveanendsomedaybesides,
shewouldnothavebelievedit!
Hewentuptoherandtookherbytheshoulderstosaysomethingaffectionateand
cheering,andatthatmomenthesawhimselfinthelookingglass.
Hishairwasalreadybeginningtoturngrey.Anditseemedstrangetohimthathehad
grownsomucholder,somuchplainerduringthelastfewyears.Theshouldersonwhich
hishandsrestedwerewarmandquivering.Hefeltcompassionforthislife,stillsowarm
andlovely,butprobablyalreadynotfarfrombeginningtofadeandwitherlikehisown.
Whydidshelovehimsomuch?Healwaysseemedtowomendifferentfromwhathe
was,andtheylovedinhimnothimself,butthemancreatedbytheirimagination,whom
theyhadbeeneagerlyseekingalltheirlivesandafterwards,whentheynoticedtheir
mistake,theylovedhimallthesame.Andnotoneofthemhadbeenhappywithhim.
Timepassed,hehadmadetheiracquaintance,gotonwiththem,parted,buthehadnever
onceloveditwasanythingyoulike,butnotlove.
Andonlynowwhenhisheadwasgreyhehadfallenproperly,reallyinloveforthefirst
timeinhislife.
AnnaSergeyevnaandhelovedeachotherlikepeopleverycloseandakin,likehusband
andwife,liketenderfriendsitseemedtothemthatfateitselfhadmeantthemforone
another,andtheycouldnotunderstandwhyhehadawifeandsheahusbandanditwas
asthoughtheywereapairofbirdsofpassage,caughtandforcedtoliveindifferent
cages.Theyforgaveeachotherforwhattheywereashamedofintheirpast,theyforgave
everythinginthepresent,andfeltthatthisloveoftheirshadchangedthemboth.
Inmomentsofdepressioninthepasthehadcomfortedhimselfwithanyargumentsthat
cameintohismind,butnowhenolongercaredforargumentshefeltprofound
compassion,hewantedtobesincereandtender....

"Don'tcry,mydarling,"hesaid."You'vehadyourcrythat'senough....Letustalknow,
letusthinkofsomeplan."
Thentheyspentalongwhiletakingcounseltogether,talkedofhowtoavoidthe
necessityforsecrecy,fordeception,forlivingindifferenttownsandnotseeingeach
otherforlongatatime.Howcouldtheybefreefromthisintolerablebondage?
"How?How?"heasked,clutchinghishead."How?"
Anditseemedasthoughinalittlewhilethesolutionwouldbefound,andthenanewand
splendidlifewouldbeginanditwascleartobothofthemthattheyhadstill along,long
roadbeforethem,andthatthemostcomplicatedanddifficultpartofitwasonlyjust
beginning.

ADOCTOR'SVISIT
THEProfessorreceivedatelegramfromtheLyalikovs'factoryhewasaskedtocomeas
quicklyaspossible.Thedaughterof someMadameLyalikov,apparentlytheownerofthe
factory,wasill,andthatwasallthatonecouldmakeoutofthelong,incoherenttelegram.
AndtheProfessordidnotgohimself,butsentinsteadhisassistant,Korolyov.
ItwastwostationsfromMoscow,andtherewasadriveofthreemilesfromthestation.A
carriagewiththreehorseshadbeensenttothestationtomeetKorolyovthecoachman
woreahatwithapeacock'sfeatheronit,andansweredeveryquestioninaloudvoice
likeasoldier:"No,sir!""Certainly,sir!"
ItwasSaturdayeveningthesunwassetting,theworkpeoplewerecomingincrowds
fromthefactorytothestation,andtheybowedtothecarriageinwhichKorolyovwas
driving.Andhewascharmedwiththeevening,thefarmhousesandvillasontheroad,
andthebirchtrees,andthequietatmosphereallaround,whenthefieldsandwoodsand
thesunseemedpreparing,liketheworkpeoplenowontheeveoftheholiday,torest,and
perhapstopray....
HewasbornandhadgrownupinMoscowhedidnotknowthecountry,andhehad
nevertakenanyinterestinfactories,orbeeninsideone,buthehadhappenedtoread
aboutfactories,andhadbeeninthehousesofmanufacturersandhadtalkedtothemand
wheneverhesawafactoryfarornear,healwaysthoughthowquietandpeaceableitwas
outside,butwithintherewasalwayssuretobeimpenetrableignoranceanddullegoism
onthesideoftheowners,wearisome,unhealthytoilonthesideoftheworkpeople,
squabbling,vermin,vodka.Andnowwhentheworkpeopletimidlyandrespectfullymade
wayforthecarriage,intheirfaces,theircaps,theirwalk,hereadphysicalimpurity,
drunkenness,nervousexhaustion,bewilderment.
Theydroveinatthefactorygates.Oneachsidehecaughtglimpsesofthelittlehousesof
workpeople,ofthefacesofwomen,ofquiltsandlinenontherailings."Lookout!"
shoutedthecoachman,notpullingupthehorses.Itwasawidecourtyardwithoutgrass,
withfiveimmenseblocksofbuildingswithtallchimneysalittledistanceonefrom
another,warehousesandbarracks,andovereverythingasortofgreypowderasthough
fromdust.Hereandthere,likeoasesinthedesert,therewerepitifulgardens,andthe
greenandredroofsofthehousesinwhichthemanagersandclerkslived.Thecoachman
suddenlypulledupthehorses,andthecarriagestoppedatthehouse,whichhadbeen
newlypaintedgreyherewasaflowergarden,withalilacbushcoveredwithdust,andon
theyellowstepsatthefrontdoortherewasastrongsmellofpaint.
"Pleasecomein,doctor,"saidwomen'svoicesinthepassageandtheentry,andatthe
sametimeheheardsighsandwhisperings."Praywalkin....We'vebeenexpectingyou
solong...we'reinrealtrouble.Here,thisway."

MadameLyalikovastoutelderlyladywearingablacksilkdresswithfashionable
sleeves,but,judgingfromherface,asimpleuneducatedwomanlookedatthedoctorin
aflutter,andcouldnotbringherselftoholdoutherhandtohimshedidnotdare.Beside
herstoodapersonagewithshorthairandapincenezshewaswearingablouseofmany
colours,andwasverythinandnolongeryoung.TheservantscalledherChristina
Dmitryevna,andKorolyovguessedthatthiswasthegoverness.Probably,astheperson
ofmosteducationinthehouse,shehadbeenchargedtomeetandreceivethedoctor,for
shebeganimmediately,ingreathaste,statingthecausesoftheillness,givingtrivialand
tiresomedetails,butwithoutsayingwhowasillorwhatwasthematter.
Thedoctorandthegovernessweresittingtalkingwhiletheladyofthehousestood
motionlessatthedoor,waiting.FromtheconversationKorolyovlearnedthatthepatient
wasMadameLyalikov'sonlydaughterandheiress,agirloftwenty,calledLiza shehad
beenillforalongtime,andhadconsultedvariousdoctors,andthepreviousnightshehad
sufferedtillmorningfromsuchviolentpalpitationsoftheheart,thatnooneinthehouse
hadslept,andtheyhadbeenafraidshemightdie.
"Shehasbeen,onemaysay,ailingfromachild,"saidChristinaDmitryevnainasing
songvoice,continuallywipingherlipswithherhand."Thedoctorssayitisnerveswhen
shewasalittlegirlshewasscrofulous,andthedoctorsdroveitinwards,soIthinkitmay
beduetothat."
Theywenttoseetheinvalid.Fullygrownup,bigandtall,butuglylikehermother,with
thesamelittleeyesanddisproportionatebreadthofthelowerpartoftheface,lyingwith
herhairindisorder,muffleduptothechin,shemadeuponKorolyovatthefirstminute
theimpressionofapoor,destitutecreature,shelteredandcaredforhereoutofcharity,
andhecouldhardlybelievethatthiswastheheiressofthefivehugebuildings.
"Iamthedoctorcometoseeyou,"saidKorolyov."Goodevening."
Hementionedhisnameandpressedherhand,alarge,cold,uglyhandshesatup,and,
evidentlyaccustomedtodoctors,letherselfbesounded,withoutshowingtheleast
concernthathershouldersandchestwereuncovered.
"Ihavepalpitationsoftheheart,"shesaid,"Itwassoawfulallnight....Ialmostdiedof
fright!Dogivemesomething."
"Iwill,Iwilldon'tworryyourself."
Korolyovexaminedherandshruggedhisshoulders.
"Theheartisallright,"hesaid"it'sall goingonsatisfactorilyeverythingisingood
order.Yournervesmusthavebeenplayingpranksalittle,butthat'ssocommon.The
attackisoverbynow,onemustsupposeliedownandgotosleep."

Atthatmomentalampwasbroughtintothebedroom.Thepatientscreweduphereyes
atthelight,thensuddenlyputherhandstoherheadandbrokeintosobs.Andthe
impressionofadestitute,uglycreaturevanished,andKorolyovnolongernoticedthe
littleeyesortheheavydevelopmentofthelowerpartoftheface.Hesawasoft,suffering
expressionwhichwasintelligentandtouching:sheseemedtohimaltogethergraceful,
feminine,andsimpleandhelongedtosootheher,notwithdrugs,notwithadvice,but
withsimple,kindlywords.Hermotherputherarmsroundherheadandhuggedher.
Whatdespair,whatgriefwasintheoldwoman'sface!She,hermother,hadrearedher
andbroughtherup,sparednothing,anddevotedherwholelifetohavingherdaughter
taughtFrench,dancing,music:hadengagedadozenteachersforherhadconsultedthe
bestdoctors,keptagoverness.Andnowshecouldnotmakeoutthereasonofthesetears,
whytherewasallthismisery,shecouldnotunderstand,andwasbewilderedandshehad
aguilty,agitated,despairingexpression,asthoughshehadomittedsomethingvery
important,hadleftsomethingundone,hadneglectedtocallinsomebodyandwhom,she
didnotknow.
"Lizanka,youarecryingagain...again,"shesaid,huggingherdaughtertoher."My
own,mydarling,my child,tellmewhatitis!Havepityonme!Tellme."
Bothweptbitterly.KorolyovsatdownonthesideofthebedandtookLiza'shand.
"Come,giveoverit'snousecrying,"hesaidkindly."Why,thereisnothingintheworld
thatisworththosetears.Come,wewon'tcrythat'snogood...."
Andinwardlyhethought:
"It'shightimeshewasmarried...."
"Ourdoctoratthefactorygaveherkalibromati,"saidthegoverness,"butInoticeitonly
makesherworse.Ishouldhavethoughtthatifsheisgivenanythingfortheheartitought
tobedrops....Iforgetthename....Convallaria,isn'tit?"
Andtherefollowedallsortsofdetails.Sheinterruptedthedoctor,preventinghis
speaking,andtherewasalookofeffortonherface,asthoughshesupposedthat,asthe
womanofmosteducationinthehouse,shewasdutyboundtokeepupaconversation
withthedoctor,andonnoothersubjectbutmedicine.
Korolyovfeltbored.
"Ifindnothingspecialthematter,"hesaid,addressingthemotherashewentoutofthe
bedroom."Ifyourdaughterisbeingattendedbythefactorydoctor,lethimgoon
attendingher.Thetreatmentsofarhasbeenperfectlycorrect,andIseenoreasonfor
changingyourdoctor.Whychange?It'ssuchanordinarytroublethere'snothing
seriouslywrong."

Hespokedeliberatelyasheputonhisgloves,whileMadameLyalikovstoodwithout
moving,andlookedathimwithhertearfuleyes.
"Ihavehalfanhourtocatchtheteno'clocktrain,"hesaid."IhopeIamnottoolate."
"Andcan'tyoustay?"sheasked,andtearstrickleddownhercheeksagain."Iam
ashamedtotroubleyou,butifyouwouldbesogood....ForGod'ssake,"shewenton
inanundertone,glancingtowardsthedoor,"dostaytonightwithus!SheisallIhave...
myonlydaughter....ShefrightenedmelastnightIcan'tgetoverit....Don'tgoaway,
forgoodness'sake!..."
HewantedtotellherthathehadagreatdealofworkinMoscow,thathisfamilywere
expectinghimhomeitwasdisagreeabletohimtospendtheeveningandthewholenight
inastrangehousequiteneedlesslybuthelookedatherface,heavedasigh,andbegan
takingoffhisgloveswithoutaword.
Allthelampsandcandleswerelightedinhishonourinthedrawingroomandthedining
room.Hesatdownatthepianoandbeganturningoverthemusic.Thenhelookedatthe
picturesonthewalls,attheportraits.Thepictures,oilpaintingsingoldframes,were
viewsoftheCrimeaastormyseawithaship,aCatholicmonkwithawineglassthey
werealldull,smoothdaubs,withnotraceoftalentinthem.Therewasnotasinglegood
lookingfaceamongtheportraits,nothingbutbroadcheekbonesandastonishedlooking
eyes.Lyalikov,Liza'sfather,hadalowforeheadandaselfsatisfiedexpressionhis
uniformsatlikeasackonhisbulkyplebeianfigureonhisbreastwasamedalandaRed
CrossBadge.Therewaslittlesignofculture,andtheluxurywassenselessand
haphazard,andwasasillfittingasthatuniform.Thefloorsirritatedhimwiththeir
brilliantpolish,thelustresonthechandelierirritatedhim,andhewasremindedforsome
reasonofthestoryofthemerchantwhousedtogotothebathswithamedalonhisneck.
...
Heheardawhisperingintheentrysomeonewassoftlysnoring.Andsuddenlyfrom
outsidecameharsh,abrupt,metallicsounds,suchasKorolyovhadneverheardbefore,
andwhichhedidnotunderstandnowtheyrousedstrange,unpleasantechoesinhissoul.
"Ibelievenothingwouldinducemetoremainheretolive..."hethought,andwentback
tothemusicbooksagain.
"Doctor,pleasecometosupper!"thegovernesscalledhiminalowvoice.
Hewentintosupper.Thetablewaslargeandlaidwithavastnumberofdishesand
wines,buttherewereonlytwotosupper:himselfandChristinaDmitryevna.Shedrank
Madeira,aterapidly,andtalked,lookingathimthroughherpincenez:
"Ourworkpeopleareverycontented.Wehaveperformancesatthefactoryeverywinter
theworkpeopleactthemselves.Theyhavelectureswithamagiclantern,asplendidtea
room,andeverythingtheywant.Theyareverymuchattachedtous,andwhentheyheard

thatLizankawasworsetheyhadaservicesungforher.Thoughtheyhavenoeducation,
theyhavetheirfeelings,too."
"Itlooksasthoughyouhavenomaninthehouseatall,"saidKorolyov.
"Notone.PyotrNikanoritchdiedayearandahalfago,andleftusalone.Andsothereare
thethreeofus.Inthesummerwelivehere,andinwinterweliveinMoscow,in
Polianka.Ihavebeenlivingwiththemforelevenyearsasoneofthefamily."
Atsuppertheyservedsterlet,chickenrissoles,andstewedfruitthewineswere
expensiveFrenchwines.
"Pleasedon'tstandonceremony,doctor,"saidChristinaDmitryevna,eatingandwiping
hermouthwithherfist,anditwasevidentshefoundherlifehereexceedinglypleasant.
"Pleasehavesomemore."
Aftersupperthedoctorwasshowntohisroom,whereabedhadbeenmadeupforhim,
buthedidnotfeelsleepy.Theroomwasstuffyanditsmeltofpaintheputonhiscoat
andwentout.
Itwascoolintheopenairtherewasalreadyaglimmerofdawn,andallthefiveblocks
ofbuildings,withtheirtallchimneys,barracks,andwarehouses,weredistinctlyoutlined
againstthedampair.Asitwasaholiday,theywerenotworking,andthewindowswere
dark,andinonlyoneofthebuildingswasthereafurnaceburningtwowindowswere
crimson,andfiremixedwithsmokecamefromtimetotimefromthechimney.Faraway
beyondtheyardthefrogswerecroakingandthenightingalessinging.
Lookingatthefactorybuildingsandthebarracks,wheretheworkpeoplewereasleep,he
thoughtagainwhathealwaysthoughtwhenhesawafactory.Theymayhave
performancesfortheworkpeople,magiclanterns,factorydoctors,andimprovementsof
allsorts,but,allthesame,theworkpeoplehehadmetthatdayonhiswayfromthe
stationdidnotlookinanywaydifferentfromthosehehadknownlongagoinhis
childhood,beforetherewerefactoryperformancesandimprovements.Asadoctor
accustomedtojudgingcorrectlyofchroniccomplaints,theradicalcauseofwhichwas
incomprehensibleandincurable,helookeduponfactoriesassomethingbaffling,the
causeofwhichalsowasobscureandnotremovable,andalltheimprovementsinthelife
ofthefactoryhandshelookeduponnotassuperfluous,butascomparablewiththe
treatmentofincurableillnesses.
"Thereissomethingbafflinginit,ofcourse..."hethought,lookingatthecrimson
windows."Fifteenhundredortwothousandworkpeopleareworkingwithoutrestin
unhealthysurroundings,makingbadcottongoods,livingonthevergeofstarvation,and
onlywakingfromthisnightmareatrareintervalsinthetavernahundredpeopleactas
overseers,andthewholelifeofthathundredisspentinimposingfines,inabuse,in
injustice,andonlytwoorthreesocalledownersenjoytheprofits,thoughtheydon't
workatall,anddespisethewretchedcotton.Butwhataretheprofits,andhowdothey

enjoythem?MadameLyalikovandherdaughterareunhappyitmakesonewretchedto
lookatthemtheonlyonewhoenjoysherlifeisChristinaDmitryevna,astupid,middle
agedmaidenladyinpincenez.Andsoitappearsthatallthesefiveblocksofbuildings
areatwork,andinferiorcottonissoldintheEasternmarkets,simplythatChristina
DmitryevnamayeatsterletanddrinkMadeira."
Suddenlytherecameastrangenoise,thesamesoundKorolyovhadheardbeforesupper.
Someonewasstrikingonasheetofmetalnearoneofthebuildingshestruckanote,and
thenatoncecheckedthevibrations,sothatshort,abrupt,discordantsoundswere
produced,ratherlike"Dair...dair...dair...."Thentherewashalfaminuteof
stillness,andfromanotherbuildingtherecamesoundsequallyabruptandunpleasant,
lowerbassnotes:"Drin...drin...drin..."Eleventimes.Evidentlyitwasthe
watchmanstrikingthehour.Nearthethirdbuildingheheard:"Zhuk...zhuk...zhuk...
."Andsonearallthebuildings,andthenbehindthebarracksandbeyondthegates.And
inthestillnessofthenightitseemedasthoughthesesoundswereutteredbyamonster
withcrimsoneyesthedevilhimself,whocontrolledtheownersandtheworkpeople
alike,andwasdeceivingboth.
Korolyovwentoutoftheyardintotheopencountry.
"Whogoesthere?"someonecalledtohimatthegatesinanabruptvoice.
"It'sjustlikebeinginprison,"hethought,andmadenoanswer.
Herethenightingalesandthefrogscouldbeheardmoredistinctly,andonecouldfeelit
wasanightinMay.Fromthestationcamethenoiseofatrainsomewhereinthedistance
drowsycockswerecrowingbut,allthesame,thenightwasstill,theworldwassleeping
tranquilly.Inafieldnotfarfromthefactorytherecouldbeseentheframeworkofa
houseandheapsofbuildingmaterial:
Korolyovsatdownontheplanksandwentonthinking.
"Theonlypersonwhofeelshappyhereisthegoverness,andthefactoryhandsare
workingforhergratification.Butthat'sonlyapparent:sheisonlythefigurehead.The
realperson,forwhomeverythingisbeingdone,isthedevil."
Andhethoughtaboutthedevil,inwhomhedidnotbelieve,andhelookedroundatthe
twowindowswherethefiresweregleaming.Itseemedtohimthatoutofthosecrimson
eyesthedevilhimselfwaslookingathimthatunknownforcethathadcreatedthe
mutualrelationofthestrongandtheweak,thatcoarseblunderwhichonecouldnever
correct.ThestrongmusthindertheweakfromlivingsuchwasthelawofNaturebut
onlyinanewspaperarticleorinaschoolbookwasthatintelligibleandeasilyaccepted.
Inthehotchpotchwhichwaseverydaylife,inthetangleoftrivialitiesoutofwhich
humanrelationswerewoven,itwasnolongeralaw,butalogicalabsurdity,whenthe
strongandtheweakwerebothequallyvictimsoftheirmutualrelations,unwillingly
submittingtosomedirectingforce,unknown,standingoutsidelife,apartfromman.

SothoughtKorolyov,sittingontheplanks,andlittlebylittlehewaspossessedbya
feelingthatthisunknownandmysteriousforcewasreallyclosebyandlookingathim.
Meanwhiletheeastwasgrowingpaler,timepassedrapidlywhentherewasnotasoul
anywherenear,asthougheverythingweredead,thefivebuildingsandtheirchimneys
againstthegreybackgroundofthedawnhadapeculiarlooknotthesameasbydayone
forgotaltogetherthatinsidethereweresteammotors,electricity,telephones,andkept
thinkingoflakedwellings,oftheStoneAge,feelingthepresenceofacrude,unconscious
force....
Andagaintherecamethesound:"Dair...dair...dair...dair..."twelvetimes.Then
therewasstillness,stillnessforhalfaminute,andattheotherendoftheyardthererang
out.
"Drin...drin...drin...."
"Horriblydisagreeable,"thoughtKorolyov.
"Zhuk...zhuk..."thereresoundedfromathirdplace,abruptly,sharply,asthoughwith
annoyance"Zhuk...zhuk...."
Andittookfourminutestostriketwelve.Thentherewasahushandagainitseemedas
thougheverythingweredead.
Korolyovsatalittlelonger,thenwenttothehouse,butsatupforagoodwhilelonger.In
theadjoiningroomstherewaswhispering,therewasasoundofshufflingslippersand
barefeet.
"Isshehavinganotherattack?"thoughtKorolyov.
Hewentouttohavealookatthepatient.Bynowitwasquitelightintherooms,anda
faintglimmerofsunlight,piercingthroughthemorningmist,quiveredonthefloorand
onthewallofthedrawingroom.ThedoorofLiza'sroomwasopen,andshewassitting
inalowchairbesideherbed,withherhairdown,wearingadressinggownandwrapped
inashawl.Theblindsweredownonthewindows.
"Howdoyoufeel?"askedKorolyov.
"Well,thankyou."
Hetouchedherpulse,thenstraightenedherhair,thathadfallenoverherforehead.
"Youarenotasleep,"hesaid."It'sbeautifulweatheroutside.It'sspring.Thenightingales
aresinging,andyousitinthedarkandthinkofsomething."

Shelistenedandlookedintohisfacehereyesweresorrowfulandintelligent,anditwas
evidentshewantedtosaysomethingtohim.
"Doesthishappentoyouoften?"hesaid.
Shemovedherlips,andanswered:
"Often,Ifeelwretchedalmosteverynight."
Atthatmomentthewatchmanintheyardbeganstrikingtwoo'clock.Theyheard:"Dair.
..dair..."andsheshuddered.
"Dothoseknockingsworryyou?"heasked.
"Idon'tknow.Everythinghereworriesme,"sheanswered,andpondered."Everything
worriesme.IhearsympathyinyourvoiceitseemedtomeassoonasIsawyouthatI
couldtellyouallaboutit."
"Tellme,Ibegyou."
"Iwanttotellyouofmyopinion.ItseemstomethatIhavenoillness,butthatIam
wearyandfrightened,becauseitisboundtobesoandcannotbeotherwise.Eventhe
healthiestpersoncan'thelpbeinguneasyif,forinstance,arobberismovingaboutunder
hiswindow.Iamconstantlybeingdoctored,"shewenton,lookingatherknees,andshe
gaveashysmile."Iamverygrateful,ofcourse,andIdonotdenythatthetreatmentisa
benefitbutIshouldliketotalk,notwithadoctor,butwithsomeintimatefriendwho
wouldunderstandmeandwouldconvincemethatIwasrightorwrong."
"Haveyounofriends?"askedKorolyov.
"Iamlonely.IhaveamotherIloveher,but,allthesame,Iamlonely.That'showit
happenstobe....Lonelypeoplereadagreatdeal,butsaylittleandhearlittle.Lifefor
themismysterioustheyaremysticsandoftenseethedevilwhereheisnot.Lermontov's
Tamarawaslonelyandshesawthedevil."
"Doyoureadagreatdeal?"
"Yes.Yousee,mywholetimeisfreefrommorningtillnight.Ireadbyday,andbynight
myheadisemptyinsteadofthoughtsthereareshadowsinit."
"Doyouseeanythingatnight?"askedKorolyov.
"No,butIfeel...."
Shesmiledagain,raisedhereyestothedoctor,andlookedathimsosorrowfully,so
intelligentlyanditseemedtohimthatshetrustedhim,andthatshewantedtospeak

franklytohim,andthatshethoughtthesameashedid.Butshewassilent,perhaps
waitingforhimtospeak.
Andheknewwhattosaytoher.Itwascleartohimthatsheneededasquicklyaspossible
togiveupthefivebuildingsandthemillionifshehadittoleavethatdevilthatlooked
outatnightitwascleartohim,too,thatshethoughtsoherself,andwasonlywaitingfor
someoneshetrustedtoconfirmher.
Buthedidnotknowhowtosayit.How?Oneisshyofaskingmenundersentencewhat
theyhavebeensentencedforandinthesamewayitisawkwardtoaskveryrichpeople
whattheywantsomuchmoneyfor,whytheymakesuchapooruseoftheirwealth,why
theydon'tgiveitup,evenwhentheyseeinittheirunhappinessandiftheybegina
conversationaboutitthemselves,itisusuallyembarrassing,awkward,andlong.
"Howisonetosayit?"Korolyovwondered."Andisitnecessarytospeak?"
Andhesaidwhathemeantinaroundaboutway:
"Youinthepositionofafactoryownerandawealthyheiressaredissatisfiedyoudon't
believeinyourrighttoitandherenowyoucan'tsleep.That,ofcourse,isbetterthanif
youweresatisfied,sleptsoundly,andthoughteverythingwassatisfactory.Your
sleeplessnessdoesyoucreditinanycase,itisagoodsign.Inreality,suchaconversation
asthisbetweenusnowwouldhavebeenunthinkableforourparents.Atnighttheydid
nottalk,butsleptsoundwe,ourgeneration,sleepbadly,arerestless,buttalkagreat
deal,andarealwaystryingtosettlewhetherwearerightornot.Forourchildrenor
grandchildrenthatquestionwhethertheyarerightornotwillhavebeensettled.Things
willbeclearerforthemthanforus.Lifewillbegoodinfiftyyears'timeit'sonlyapity
weshallnotlastouttillthen.Itwouldbeinterestingtohaveapeepatit."
"Whatwillourchildrenandgrandchildrendo?"askedLiza.
"Idon'tknow....Isupposetheywillthrowitallupandgoaway."
"Gowhere?"
"Where?...Why,wheretheylike,"saidKorolyovandhelaughed."Therearelotsof
placesagood,intelligentpersoncangoto."
Heglancedathiswatch.
"Thesunhasrisen,though,"hesaid."Itistimeyouwereasleep.Undressandsleep
soundly.Verygladtohavemadeyouracquaintance,"hewenton,pressingherhand.
"Youareagood,interestingwoman.Goodnight!"
Hewenttohisroomandwenttobed.

Inthemorningwhenthecarriagewasbroughtroundtheyallcameoutontothestepsto
seehimoff.Liza,paleandexhausted,wasinawhitedressasthoughforaholiday,witha
flowerinherhairshelookedathim,asyesterday,sorrowfullyandintelligently,smiled
andtalked,andallwithanexpressionasthoughshewantedtotellhimsomethingspecial,
importanthimalone.Theycouldhearthelarkstrillingandthechurchbellspealing.The
windowsinthefactorybuildingsweresparklinggaily,and,drivingacrosstheyardand
afterwardsalongtheroadtothestation,Korolyovthoughtneitheroftheworkpeoplenor
oflakedwellings,norofthedevil,butthoughtofthetime,perhapscloseathand,when
lifewouldbeasbrightandjoyousasthatstillSundaymorningandhethoughthow
pleasantitwasonsuchamorninginthespringtodrivewiththreehorsesinagood
carriage,andtobaskinthesunshine.

ANUPHEAVAL
MASHENKAPAVLETSKY,ayounggirlwhohadonlyjustfinishedherstudiesata
boardingschool,returningfromawalktothehouseoftheKushkins,withwhomshewas
livingasagoverness,foundthehouseholdinaterribleturmoil.Mihailo,theporterwho
openedthedoortoher,wasexcitedandredasacrab.
Loudvoiceswereheardfromupstairs.
"MadameKushkinisinafit,mostlikely,orelseshehasquarrelledwithherhusband,"
thoughtMashenka.
Inthehallandinthecorridorshemetmaidservants.Oneofthemwascrying.Then
Mashenkasaw,runningoutofherroom,themasterofthehousehimself,Nikolay
Sergeitch,alittlemanwithaflabbyfaceandabaldhead,thoughhewasnotold.Hewas
redinthefaceandtwitchingallover.Hepassedthegovernesswithoutnoticingher,and
throwinguphisarms,exclaimed:
"Oh,howhorribleitis!Howtactless!Howstupid!Howbarbarous!Abominable!"
Mashenkawentintoherroom,andthen,forthefirsttimeinherlife,itwasherlotto
experienceinallitsacutenessthefeelingthatissofamiliartopersonsindependent
positions,whoeatthebreadoftherichandpowerful,andcannotspeaktheirminds.
Therewasasearchgoingoninherroom.Theladyofthehouse,FedosyaVassilyevna,a
stout,broadshouldered,uncouthwomanwiththickblackeyebrows,afaintlyperceptible
moustache,andredhands,whowasexactlylikeaplain,illiteratecookinfaceand
manners,wasstanding,withouthercapon,atthetable,puttingbackintoMashenka's
workbagballsofwool,scrapsofmaterials,andbitsofpaper....Evidentlythe
governess'sarrivaltookherbysurprise,since,onlookingroundandseeingthegirl'spale
andastonishedface,shewasalittletakenaback,andmuttered:
"_Pardon_.I...Iupsetitaccidentally....Mysleevecaughtinit..."
Andsayingsomethingmore,MadameKushkinrustledherlongskirtsandwentout.
Mashenkalookedroundherroomwithwonderingeyes,and,unabletounderstandit,not
knowingwhattothink,shruggedhershoulders,andturnedcoldwithdismay.Whathad
FedosyaVassilyevnabeenlookingforinherworkbag?Ifshereallyhad,asshesaid,
caughthersleeveinitandupseteverything,whyhadNikolaySergeitchdashedoutofher
roomsoexcitedandredintheface?Whywasonedrawerofthetablepulledoutalittle
way?Themoneybox,inwhichthegovernessputawaytenkopeckpiecesandold
stamps,wasopen.Theyhadopenedit,butdidnotknowhowtoshutit,thoughtheyhad
scratchedthelockallover.Thewhatnotwithherbooksonit,thethingsonthetable,the
bedallborefreshtracesofasearch.Herlinenbasket,too.Thelinenhadbeencarefully
folded,butitwasnotinthesameorderasMashenkahadleftitwhenshewentout.Sothe
searchhadbeenthorough,mostthorough.Butwhatwasitfor?Why?Whathad

happened?Mashenkarememberedtheexcitedporter,thegeneralturmoilwhichwasstill
goingon,theweepingservantgirlhaditnotallsomeconnectionwiththesearchthat
hadjustbeenmadeinherroom?Wasnotshemixedupinsomethingdreadful?
Mashenkaturnedpale,andfeelingcoldallover,sankontoherlinenbasket.
Amaidservantcameintotheroom.
"Liza,youdon'tknowwhytheyhavebeenrummaginginmyroom?"thegovernessasked
her.
"Mistresshaslostabroochworthtwothousand,"saidLiza.
"Yes,butwhyhavetheybeenrummaginginmyroom?"
"They'vebeensearchingeveryone,miss.They'vesearchedallmythings,too.They
strippedusallnakedandsearchedus....Godknows,miss,Ineverwentnearhertoilet
table,letalonetouchingthebrooch.Ishallsaythesameatthepolicestation."
"But...whyhavetheybeenrummaginghere?"thegovernessstillwondered.
"Abroochhasbeenstolen,Itellyou.Themistresshasbeenrummagingineverything
withherownhands.SheevensearchedMihailo,theporter,herself.It'saperfect
disgrace!NikolaySergeitchsimplylooksonandcackleslikeahen.Butyou'venoneed
totremblelikethat,miss.Theyfoundnothinghere.You'venothingtobeafraidofifyou
didn'ttakethebrooch."
"But,Liza,it'svile...it'sinsulting,"saidMashenka,breathlesswithindignation."It'sso
mean,solow!Whatrighthadshetosuspectmeandtorummageinmythings?"
"Youarelivingwithstrangers,miss,"sighedLiza."Thoughyouareayounglady,still
youare...asitwere...aservant....It'snotlikelivingwithyourpapaandmamma."
Mashenkathrewherselfonthebedandsobbedbitterly.Neverinherlifehadshebeen
subjectedtosuchanoutrage,neverhadshebeensodeeplyinsulted....She,well
educated,refined,thedaughterofateacher,wassuspectedoftheftshehadbeen
searchedlikeastreetwalker!Shecouldnotimagineagreaterinsult.Andtothisfeeling
ofresentmentwasaddedanoppressivedreadofwhatwouldcomenext.Allsortsof
absurdideascameintohermind.Iftheycouldsuspectheroftheft,thentheymightarrest
her,striphernaked,andsearchher,thenleadherthroughthestreetwithanescortof
soldiers,castherintoacold,darkcellwithmiceandwoodlice,exactlylikethedungeon
inwhichPrincessTarakanovwasimprisoned.Whowouldstandupforher?Herparents
livedfarawayintheprovincestheyhadnotthemoneytocometoher.Inthecapitalshe
wasassolitaryasinadesert,withoutfriendsorkindred.Theycoulddowhattheyliked
withher.

"Iwillgotoallthecourtsandallthelawyers,"Mashenkathought,trembling."Iwill
explaintothem,Iwilltakeanoath....TheywillbelievethatIcouldnotbeathief!"
Mashenkarememberedthatunderthesheetsinherbasketshehadsomesweetmeats,
which,followingthehabitsofherschooldays,shehadputinherpocketatdinnerand
carriedofftoherroom.Shefelthotallover,andwasashamedatthethoughtthather
littlesecretwasknowntotheladyofthehouseandallthisterror,shame,resentment,
broughtonanattackofpalpitationoftheheart,whichsetupathrobbinginhertemples,
inherheart,anddeepdowninherstomach.
"Dinnerisready,"theservantsummonedMashenka.
"ShallIgo,ornot?"
Mashenkabrushedherhair,wipedherfacewithawettowel,andwentintothedining
room.Theretheyhadalreadybegundinner.AtoneendofthetablesatFedosya
Vassilyevnawithastupid,solemn,seriousfaceattheotherendNikolaySergeitch.At
thesidestherewerethevisitorsandthechildren.Thedisheswerehandedbytwofootmen
inswallowtailsandwhitegloves.Everyoneknewthattherewasanupsetinthehouse,
thatMadameKushkinwasintrouble,andeveryonewassilent.Nothingwasheardbut
thesoundofmunchingandtherattleofspoonsontheplates.
Theladyofthehouse,herself,wasthefirsttospeak.
"Whatisthethirdcourse?"sheaskedthefootmaninaweary,injuredvoice.
"_Esturgeonlarusse_,"answeredthefootman.
"Iorderedthat,Fenya,"NikolaySergeitchhastenedtoobserve."Iwantedsomefish.If
youdon'tlikeit,_machre_,don'tletthemserveit.Ijustorderedit...."
FedosyaVassilyevnadidnotlikedishesthatshehadnotorderedherself,andnowher
eyesfilledwithtears.
"Come,don'tletusagitateourselves,"Mamikov,herhouseholddoctor, observedina
honeyedvoice,justtouchingherarm,withasmileashoneyed."Wearenervousenough
asitis.Letusforgetthebrooch!Healthisworthmorethantwothousandroubles!"

"It'snotthetwothousandIregret,"answeredthelady,andabigtearrolleddownher
cheek."It'sthefactitselfthatrevoltsme!Icannotputupwiththievesinmyhouse.Idon't
regretitIregretnothingbuttostealfrommeissuchingratitude!That'showtheyrepay
meformykindness...."

Theyalllookedintotheirplates,butMashenkafanciedafterthelady'swordsthatevery
onewaslookingather.Alumproseinherthroatshebegancryingandputher
handkerchieftoherlips.
"_Pardon_,"shemuttered."Ican'thelpit.Myheadaches.I'llgoaway."
Andshegotupfromthetable,scrapingherchairawkwardly,andwentoutquickly,still
moreovercomewithconfusion.
"It'sbeyondeverything!"saidNikolaySergeitch,frowning."Whatneedwasthereto
searchherroom?Howoutofplaceitwas!"
"Idon'tsayshetookthebrooch,"saidFedosyaVassilyevna,"butcanyouanswerforher?
Totellthetruth,Ihaven'tmuchconfidenceintheselearnedpaupers."
"Itreallywasunsuitable,Fenya....Excuseme,Fenya,butyou'venokindoflegalright
tomakeasearch."
"Iknownothingaboutyourlaws.AllIknowisthatI'velostmybrooch.AndIwillfind
thebrooch!"Shebroughtherforkdownontheplatewithaclatter,andhereyesflashed
angrily."Andyoueatyourdinner,anddon'tinterfereinwhatdoesn'tconcernyou!"
NikolaySergeitchdroppedhiseyesmildlyandsighed.MeanwhileMashenka,reaching
herroom,flungherselfonherbed.Shefeltnowneitheralarmnorshame,butshefeltan
intenselongingtogoandslapthecheeksofthishard,arrogant,dullwitted,prosperous
woman.
Lyingonherbedshebreathedintoherpillowanddreamedofhowniceitwouldbetogo
andbuythemostexpensivebroochandflingitintothefaceofthisbullyingwoman.If
onlyitwereGod'swillthatFedosyaVassilyevnashouldcometoruinandwanderabout
begging,andshouldtasteallthehorrorsofpovertyanddependence,andthatMashenka,
whomshehadinsulted,mightgiveheralms!Oh,ifonlyshecouldcomeinforabig
fortune,couldbuyacarriage,andcoulddrivenoisilypastthewindowssoastobeenvied
bythatwoman!
Butallthesewereonlydreams,inrealitytherewasonlyonethinglefttodotogetaway
asquicklyaspossible,nottostayanotherhourinthisplace.Itwastrueitwasterribleto
loseherplace,togobacktoherparents,whohadnothingbutwhatcouldshedo?
Mashenkacouldnotbearthesightoftheladyofthehousenorofherlittleroomshefelt
stifledandwretchedhere.ShewassodisgustedwithFedosyaVassilyevna,whowasso
obsessedbyherillnessesandhersupposedaristocraticrank,thateverythingintheworld
seemedtohavebecomecoarseandunattractivebecausethiswomanwaslivinginit.
Mashenkajumpedupfromthebedandbeganpacking.
"MayIcomein?"askedNikolaySergeitchatthedoorhehadcomeupnoiselesslytothe
door,andspokeinasoft,subduedvoice."MayI?"

"Comein."
Hecameinandstoodstillnearthedoor.Hiseyeslookeddimandhisredlittlenosewas
shiny.Afterdinnerheusedtodrinkbeer,andthefactwasperceptibleinhiswalk,inhis
feeble,flabbyhands.
"What'sthis?"heasked,pointingtothebasket.
"Iampacking.Forgiveme,NikolaySergeitch,butIcannotremaininyourhouse.Ifeel
deeplyinsultedbythissearch!"
"Iunderstand... .Onlyyouarewrongtogo.Whyshouldyou?They'vesearchedyour
things,butyou...whatdoesitmattertoyou?Youwillbenonetheworseforit."
Mashenkawassilentandwentonpacking.NikolaySergeitchpinchedhismoustache,as
thoughwonderingwhatheshouldsaynext,andwentoninaningratiatingvoice:
"Iunderstand,ofcourse,butyoumustmakeallowances.Youknowmywifeisnervous,
headstrongyoumustn'tjudgehertooharshly."
Mashenkadidnotspeak.
"Ifyouaresooffended,"Nikolay Sergeitchwenton,"well,ifyoulike,I'mreadyto
apologise.Iaskyourpardon."
Mashenkamadenoanswer,butonlybentloweroverherbox.Thisexhausted,irresolute
manwasofabsolutelynosignificanceinthehousehold.Hestoodinthepitifulpositionof
adependentandhangeron,evenwiththeservants,andhisapologymeantnothingeither.
"H'm!...Yousaynothing!That'snotenoughforyou.Inthatcase,Iwillapologisefor
mywife.Inmywife'sname....Shebehavedtactlessly,Iadmititasagentleman...."
NikolaySergeitchwalkedabouttheroom,heavedasigh,andwenton:
"Thenyouwantmetohaveitranklinghere,undermyheart....Youwantmy
consciencetotormentme...."
"Iknowit'snotyourfault,NikolaySergeitch,"saidMashenka,lookinghimfullinthe
facewithherbigtearstainedeyes."Whyshouldyouworryyourself?"
"Ofcourse,no....Butstill,don'tyou...goaway.Ientreatyou."
Mashenkashookherhead.NikolaySergeitchstoppedatthewindowanddrummedonthe
panewithhisfingertips.

"Suchmisunderstandingsaresimplytorturetome,"hesaid."Why,doyouwantmetogo
downonmykneestoyou,orwhat?Yourprideiswounded,andhereyou'vebeencrying
andpackinguptogobutIhavepride,too,andyoudonotspareit!Ordoyouwantmeto
tellyouwhatIwouldnottellasConfession?Doyou?Listenyouwantmetotellyou
whatIwon'ttellthepriestonmydeathbed?"
Mashenkamadenoanswer.
"Itookmywife'sbrooch,"NikolaySergeitchsaidquickly."Isthatenoughnow?Areyou
satisfied?Yes,I...tookit....But,ofcourse,Icountonyourdiscretion....ForGod's
sake,notaword,nothalfahinttoanyone!"
Mashenka,amazedandfrightened,wentonpackingshesnatchedherthings,crumpled
themup,andthrustthemanyhowintotheboxandthebasket.Now,afterthiscandid
avowalonthepartofNikolaySergeitch,shecouldnotremainanotherminute,andcould
notunderstandhowshecouldhavegoneonlivinginthehousebefore.
"Andit'snothingtowonderat,"NikolaySergeitchwentonafterapause."It'san
everydaystory!Ineedmoney,andshe...won'tgiveittome.Itwasmyfather'smoney
thatboughtthishouseandeverything,youknow!It'sallmine,andthebroochbelonged
tomymother,and...it'sallmine!Andshetookit,tookpossessionofeverything....I
can'tgotolawwithher,you'lladmit....Ibegyoumostearnestly,overlookit...stay
on._Toutcomprendre,toutpardonner._Willyoustay?"
"No!"saidMashenkaresolutely,beginningtotremble."Letmealone,Ientreatyou!"
"Well,Godblessyou!"sighedNikolaySergeitch,sittingdownonthestoolnearthebox.
"ImustownIlikepeoplewhostillcanfeelresentment,contempt,andsoon.Icouldsit
hereforeverandlookatyourindignantface....Soyouwon'tstay,then?Iunderstand...
.It'sboundtobeso...Yes,ofcourse....It'sallrightforyou,butformewoooo!...
Ican'tstirastepoutofthiscellar.I'dgoofftooneofourestates,butineveryoneof
themtherearesomeofmywife'srascals...stewards,experts,damnthemall!They
mortgageandremortgage....Youmustn'tcatchfish,mustkeepoffthegrass,mustn't
breakthetrees."
"NikolaySergeitch!"hiswife'svoicecalledfromthedrawingroom."Agnia,callyour
master!"
"Thenyouwon'tstay?"askedNikolaySergeitch,gettingupquicklyandgoingtowards
thedoor."Youmightaswellstay,really.IntheeveningsIcouldcomeandhaveatalk
withyou.Eh?Stay!Ifyougo,therewon'tbeahumanfaceleftinthehouse.It'sawful!"
NikolaySergeitch'spale,exhaustedfacebesoughther,butMashenkashookherhead,and
withawaveofhishandhewentout.
Halfanhourlatershewasonherway.

IONITCH
I
WHENvisitorstotheprovincialtownScomplainedofthedrearinessandmonotony
oflife,theinhabitantsofthetown,asthoughdefendingthemselves,declaredthatitwas
veryniceinS,thattherewasalibrary,atheatre,aclubthattheyhadballsand,
finally,thattherewereclever,agreeable,andinterestingfamilieswithwhomonecould
makeacquaintance.AndtheyusedtopointtothefamilyoftheTurkinsasthemost
highlycultivatedandtalented.
Thisfamilylivedintheirownhouseintheprincipalstreet,neartheGovernor's.Ivan
PetrovitchTurkinhimselfastout,handsome,darkmanwithwhiskersusedtogetup
amateurperformancesforbenevolentobjects,andusedtotakethepartofanelderly
generalandcoughveryamusingly.Heknewanumberofanecdotes,charades,proverbs,
andwasfondofbeinghumorousandwitty,andhealwaysworeanexpressionfrom
whichitwasimpossibletotellwhetherhewerejokingorinearnest.Hiswife,Vera
Iosifovnaathin,nicelookingladywhoworeapincenezusedtowritenovelsand
stories,andwasveryfondofreadingthemaloudtohervisitors.Thedaughter,Ekaterina
Ivanovna,ayounggirl,usedtoplayonthepiano.Inshort,everymemberofthefamily
hadaspecialtalent.TheTurkinswelcomedvisitors,andgoodhumouredlydisplayed
theirtalentswithgenuinesimplicity.Theirstonehousewasroomyandcoolinsummer
halfofthewindowslookedintoashadyoldgarden,wherenightingalesusedtosingin
thespring.Whentherewerevisitorsinthehouse,therewasaclatterofknivesinthe
kitchenandasmelloffriedonionsintheyardandthatwasalwaysasuresignofa
plentifulandsavourysuppertofollow.
AndassoonasDmitriIonitchStartsevwasappointedthedistrictdoctor,andtookuphis
abodeatDyalizh,sixmilesfromS,he,too,wastoldthatasacultivatedmanitwas
essentialforhimtomaketheacquaintanceoftheTurkins.Inthewinterhewas
introducedtoIvanPetrovitchinthestreettheytalkedabouttheweather,aboutthe
theatre,aboutthecholeraaninvitationfollowed.Onaholidayinthespringitwas
AscensionDayafterseeinghispatients,Startsevsetofffortowninsearchofalittle
recreationandtomakesomepurchases.Hewalkedinaleisurelyway(hehadnotyetset
uphiscarriage),hummingallthetime:
"'BeforeI'ddrunkthetearsfromlife'sgoblet....'"
Intownhedined,wentforawalkinthegardens,thenIvanPetrovitch'sinvitationcame
intohismind,asitwereofitself,andhedecidedtocallontheTurkinsandseewhatsort
ofpeopletheywere.
"Howdoyoudo,ifyouplease?"saidIvanPetrovitch,meetinghimonthesteps.
"Delighted,delightedtoseesuchanagreeablevisitor.ComealongIwillintroduceyou

tomybetter half.Itellhim,Verotchka,"hewenton,ashepresentedthedoctortohis
wife"Itellhimthathehasnohumanrighttositathomeinahospitalheoughtto
devotehisleisuretosociety.Oughtn'the,darling?"
"Sithere,"saidVeraIosifovna,makinghervisitorsitdownbesideher."Youcandance
attendanceonme.MyhusbandisjealousheisanOthellobutwewilltryandbehaveso
wellthathewillnoticenothing."
"Ah,youspoiltchicken!"IvanPetrovitchmutteredtenderly,andhekissedheron the
forehead."Youhavecomejustinthenickoftime,"hesaid,addressingthedoctoragain.
"Mybetterhalfhaswrittena'hugeous'novel,andsheisgoingtoreaditaloudtoday."
"PetitJean,"saidVeraIosifovnatoherhusband,"ditesquel'onnousdonneduth."
StartsevwasintroducedtoEkaterinaIvanovna,agirlofeighteen,verymuchlikeher
mother,thinandpretty.Herexpressionwasstillchildishandherfigurewassoftand
slimandherdevelopedgirlishbosom,healthyandbeautiful,wassuggestiveofspring,
realspring.
Thentheydrankteawithjam,honey,andsweetmeats,andwithverynicecakes,which
meltedinthemouth.Astheeveningcameon,othervisitorsgraduallyarrived,andIvan
Petrovitchfixedhislaughingeyesoneachofthemandsaid:
"Howdoyoudo,ifyouplease?"
Thentheyallsatdowninthedrawingroomwithveryseriousfaces,andVeraIosifovna
readhernovel.Itbeganlikethis:"Thefrostwasintense...."Thewindowswerewide
openfromthekitchencametheclatterofknivesandthesmelloffriedonions....Itwas
comfortableinthesoftdeeparmchairthelightshadsuchafriendlytwinkleinthe
twilightofthedrawingroom,andatthemomentonasummereveningwhensoundsof
voicesandlaughterfloatedinfromthestreetandwhiffsoflilacfromtheyard,itwas
difficulttograspthatthefrostwasintense,andthatthesettingsunwaslightingwithits
chillyraysasolitarywayfareronthesnowyplain.VeraIosifovnareadhowabeautiful
youngcountessfoundedaschool,ahospital,alibrary,inhervillage,andfellinlovewith
awanderingartistshereadofwhatneverhappensinreallife,andyetitwaspleasantto
listenitwascomfortable,andsuchagreeable,serenethoughtskeptcomingintothe
mind,onehadnodesiretogetup.
"Notbadsome..."IvanPetrovitchsaidsoftly.
Andoneofthevisitorshearing,withhisthoughtsfaraway,saidhardlyaudibly:
"Yes...truly...."
Onehourpassed,another.Inthetowngardensclosebyabandwasplayingandachorus
wassinging.WhenVeraIosifovnashuthermanuscriptbook,thecompanywassilentfor

fiveminutes,listeningto"Lutchina"beingsungbythechorus,andthesonggavewhat
wasnotinthenovelandisinreallife.
"Doyoupublishyourstoriesinmagazines?"StartsevaskedVeraIosifovna.
"No,"sheanswered."Ineverpublish.Iwriteitandputitawayinmycupboard.Why
publish?"sheexplained."Wehaveenoughtoliveon."
Andforsomereasoneveryonesighed.
"Andnow,Kitten,youplaysomething,"IvanPetrovitchsaidtohisdaughter.
Thelidofthepianowasraisedandthemusiclyingreadywasopened.Ekaterina
Ivanovnasatdownandbangedonthepianowithbothhands,andthenbangedagainwith
allhermight,andthenagainandagainhershouldersandbosomshook.Sheobstinately
bangedonthesamenotes,anditsoundedasifshewouldnotleaveoffuntilshehad
hammeredthekeysintothepiano.Thedrawingroomwasfilledwiththedineverything
wasresoundingthefloor,theceiling,thefurniture....EkaterinaIvanovnawasplayinga
difficultpassage,interestingsimplyonaccountofitsdifficulty,longandmonotonous,
andStartsev,listening,picturedstonesdroppingdownasteephillandgoingondropping,
andhewishedtheywouldleaveoffdroppingandatthesametimeEkaterinaIvanovna,
rosyfromtheviolentexercise,strongandvigorous,withalockofhairfallingoverher
forehead,attractedhimverymuch.AfterthewinterspentatDyalizhamongpatientsand
peasants,tositinadrawingroom,towatchthisyoung,elegant,and,inallprobability,
purecreature,andtolistentothesenoisy,tediousbutstillculturedsounds,wasso
pleasant,sonovel....
"Well,Kitten,youhaveplayedasneverbefore,"saidIvanPetrovitch,withtearsinhis
eyes,whenhisdaughterhadfinishedandstoodup."Die,Denisyouwon'twriteanything
better."
Allflockedroundher,congratulatedher,expressedastonishment,declaredthatitwas
longsincetheyhadheardsuchmusic,andshelistenedinsilencewithafaintsmile,and
herwholefigurewasexpressiveoftriumph.
"Splendid,superb!"
"Splendid,"saidStartsev,too,carriedawaybythegeneralenthusiasm."Wherehaveyou
studied?"heaskedEkaterinaIvanovna."AttheConservatoire?"
"No,IamonlypreparingfortheConservatoire,andtillnowhavebeenworkingwith
MadameZavlovsky."
"Haveyoufinishedatthehighschoolhere?"

"Oh,no,"VeraIosifovnaansweredforher,"Wehaveteachersforherathome there
mightbebadinfluencesatthehighschooloraboardingschool,youknow.Whilea
younggirlisgrowingup,sheoughttobeundernoinfluencebuthermother's."
"Allthesame,I'mgoingtotheConservatoire,"saidEkaterinaIvanovna.
"No.Kittenloveshermamma.Kittenwon'tgrievepapaandmamma."
"No,I'mgoing,I'mgoing,"saidEkaterinaIvanovna,withplayfulcapriceandstamping
herfoot.
AndatsupperitwasIvanPetrovitchwhodisplayedhistalents.Laughingonlywithhis
eyes,hetoldanecdotes,madeepigrams,askedridiculousriddlesandansweredthem
himself,talkingthewholetimeinhisextraordinarylanguage,evolvedinthecourseof
prolongedpracticeinwitticismandevidentlynowbecomeahabit:"Badsome,"
"Hugeous,""Thankyoumostdumbly,"andsoon.
Butthatwasnotall.Whentheguests,repleteandsatisfied,troopedintothehall,looking
fortheircoatsandsticks,therebustledaboutthemthefootmanPavlusha,or,ashewas
calledinthefamily,Pavaaladoffourteenwith shavenheadandchubbycheeks.
"Come,Pava,perform!"IvanPetrovitchsaidtohim.
Pavastruckanattitude,flunguphisarm,andsaidinatragictone:"Unhappywoman,
die!"
Andeveryoneroaredwithlaughter.
"It'sentertaining,"thoughtStartsev,ashewentoutintothestreet.
Hewenttoarestaurantanddranksomebeer,thensetofftowalkhometoDyalizhhe
walkedallthewaysinging:
"'Thyvoicetomesolanguidandcaressing....'"
Ongoingtobed,hefeltnottheslightestfatigueafterthesixmiles'walk.Onthecontrary,
hefeltasthoughhecouldwithpleasurehavewalkedanothertwenty.
"Notbadsome,"hethought,andlaughedashefellasleep.

II
StartsevkeptmeaningtogototheTurkins'again,buttherewasagreatdealofworkin
thehospital,andhewasunabletofindfreetime.Inthiswaymorethanayearpassedin
workandsolitude.Butonedayaletterinalightblueenvelopewasbroughthimfromthe
town.
VeraIosifovnahadbeensufferingforsometimefrommigraine,butnowsinceKitten
frightenedhereverydaybysayingthatshewasgoingawaytotheConservatoire,the
attacksbegantobemorefrequent.AllthedoctorsofthetownhadbeenattheTurkins'at
lastitwasthedistrictdoctor'sturn.VeraIosifovnawrotehimatouchingletterinwhich
shebeggedhimtocomeandrelievehersufferings.Startsevwent,andafterthathebegan
tobeoften,veryoftenattheTurkins'....HereallydidsomethingforVeraIosifovna,
andshewasalreadytellingallhervisitorsthathewasawonderfulandexceptional
doctor.ButitwasnotforthesakeofhermigrainethathevisitedtheTurkins'now....
Itwasaholiday.EkaterinaIvanovnafinishedherlong,wearisomeexercisesonthepiano.
Thentheysatalongtimeinthediningroom,drinkingtea,andIvanPetrovitchtoldsome
amusingstory.Thentherewasaringandhehadtogointothehalltowelcomeaguest
Startsevtookadvantageofthemomentarycommotion,andwhisperedtoEkaterina
Ivanovnaingreatagitation:
"ForGod'ssake,Ientreatyou,don'ttormentmeletusgointothegarden!"
Sheshruggedhershoulders,asthoughperplexedandnotknowingwhathewantedofher,
butshegotupandwent.
"Youplaythepianoforthreeorfourhours,"hesaid,followingher"thenyousitwith
yourmother,andthereisnopossibilityofspeakingtoyou.Givemeaquarterofanhour
atleast,Ibeseechyou."
Autumnwasapproaching,anditwasquietandmelancholyintheoldgardenthedark
leaveslaythickinthewalks.Itwasalreadybeginningtogetdarkearly.
"Ihaven'tseenyouforawholeweek,"Startsevwenton,"andifyouonlyknewwhat
sufferingitis!Letussitdown.Listentome."
Theyhadafavouriteplaceinthegardenaseatunderanoldspreadingmaple.Andnow
theysatdownonthisseat.
"Whatdoyouwant?"saidEkaterinaIvanovnadrily,inamatteroffacttone.
"IhavenotseenyouforawholeweekIhavenotheardyouforsolong.Ilong
passionately,Ithirstforyourvoice.Speak."

Shefascinatedhimbyherfreshness,thenaveexpressionofhereyesandcheeks.Evenin
thewayherdresshungonher,hesawsomethingextraordinarilycharming,touchingin
itssimplicityandnavegraceandatthesametime,inspiteofthisnavet,sheseemedto
himintelligentanddevelopedbeyondheryears.Hecouldtalkwithheraboutliterature,
aboutart,aboutanythinghelikedcouldcomplaintoheroflife,ofpeople,thoughit
sometimeshappenedinthemiddleofseriousconversationshewouldlaugh
inappropriatelyorrunawayintothehouse.Likealmostallgirlsofherneighbourhood,
shehadreadagreatdeal(asarule,peoplereadverylittleinS,andatthelending
librarytheysaidifitwerenotforthegirlsandtheyoungJews,theymightaswellshutup
thelibrary).ThisaffordedStartsevinfinitedelightheusedtoaskhereagerlyeverytime
whatshehadbeenreadingthelastfewdays,andlistenedenthralledwhileshetoldhim.
"WhathaveyoubeenreadingthisweeksinceIsawyoulast?"heaskednow."Doplease
tellme."
"IhavebeenreadingPisemsky."
"Whatexactly?"
"'AThousandSouls,'"answeredKitten."AndwhatafunnynamePisemskyhadAlexey
Feofilaktitch!
"Whereareyougoing?"criedStartsevinhorror,asshesuddenlygotupandwalked
towardsthehouse."ImusttalktoyouIwanttoexplainmyself....Staywithmejust
fiveminutes,Isupplicateyou!"
Shestoppedasthoughshewantedtosaysomething,thenawkwardlythrustanoteinto
hishand,ranhomeandsatdowntothepianoagain.
"Beinthecemetery,"Startsevread,"ateleveno'clocktonight,nearthetombof
Demetti."
"Well,that'snotatallclever,"hethought,comingtohimself."Whythecemetery?What
for?"
Itwasclear:Kittenwasplayingaprank.Whowouldseriouslydreamofmakingan
appointmentatnightinthecemeteryfaroutofthetown,whenitmighthavebeen
arrangedinthestreetorinthetowngardens?Andwasitinkeepingwithhimadistrict
doctor,anintelligent,staidmantobesighing,receivingnotes,tohangaboutcemeteries,
todosillythingsthatevenschoolboysthinkridiculousnowadays?Whatwouldthis
romanceleadto?Whatwouldhiscolleaguessaywhentheyheardofit?Suchwere
Startsev'sreflectionsashewanderedroundthetablesattheclub,andathalfpasttenhe
suddenlysetoffforthecemetery.
Bynowhehadhisownpairofhorses,andacoachmancalledPanteleimon,inavelvet
waistcoat.Themoonwasshining.Itwasstillwarm,warmasitisinautumn.Dogswere

howlinginthesuburbneartheslaughterhouse.Startsevlefthishorsesinoneoftheside
streetsattheendofthetown,andwalkedonfoottothecemetery.
"Weallhaveouroddities,"hethought."Kittenisodd,tooandwhoknows?perhaps
sheisnotjoking,perhapsshewillcome"andheabandonedhimselftothisfaint,vain
hope,anditintoxicatedhim.
Hewalkedforhalfamilethroughthefieldsthecemeteryshowedasadarkstreakinthe
distance,likeaforestorabiggarden.Thewallof whitestonecameintosight,thegate...
.Inthemoonlighthecouldreadonthegate:"Thehourcometh."Startsevwentinatthe
littlegate,andbeforeanythingelsehesawthewhitecrossesandmonumentsonboth
sidesofthebroadavenue,andtheblackshadowsofthemandthepoplarsandforalong
wayrounditwasallwhiteandblack,andtheslumberingtreesbowedtheirbranchesover
thewhitestones.Itseemedasthoughitwerelighterherethaninthefieldsthemaple
leavesstoodoutsharplylikepawsontheyellowsandoftheavenueandonthestones,
andtheinscriptionsonthetombscouldbeclearlyread.ForthefirstmomentsStartsev
wasstrucknowbywhathesawforthefirsttimeinhislife,andwhathewouldprobably
neverseeagainaworldnotlikeanythingelse,aworldinwhichthemoonlightwasas
softandbeautiful,asthoughslumberinghereinitscradle,wheretherewasnolife,none
whateverbutineverydarkpoplar,ineverytomb,therewasfeltthepresenceofa
mysterythatpromisedalifepeaceful,beautiful,eternal.Thestonesandfadedflowers,
togetherwiththeautumnscentoftheleaves,alltoldofforgiveness,melancholy,and
peace.
Allwassilencearoundthestarslookeddownfromtheskyintheprofoundstillness,and
Startsev'sfootstepssoundedloudandoutofplace,andonlywhenthechurchclockbegan
strikingandheimaginedhimselfdead,buriedthereforever,hefeltasthoughsomeone
werelookingathim,andforamomenthethoughtthatitwasnotpeaceandtranquillity,
butstifleddespair,thedumbdrearinessofnonexistence....
Demetti'stombwasintheformofashrinewithanangelatthetop.TheItalianoperahad
oncevisitedSandoneofthesingershaddiedshehadbeenburiedhere,andthis
monumentputuptoher.Nooneinthetownrememberedher,butthelampatthe
entrancereflectedthemoonlight,andlookedasthoughitwereburning.
Therewasnoone,and,indeed,whowouldcomehereatmidnight?ButStartsevwaited,
andasthoughthemoonlightwarmedhispassion,hewaitedpassionately,and,in
imagination,picturedkissesandembraces.Hesatnearthemonumentforhalfanhour,
thenpacedupanddownthesideavenues,withhishatinhishand,waitingandthinking
ofthemanywomen andgirlsburiedinthesetombswhohadbeenbeautifuland
fascinating,whohadloved,atnightburnedwithpassion,yieldingthemselvestocaresses.
HowwickedlyMotherNaturejestedatman'sexpense,afterall!Howhumiliatingitwas
torecogniseit!
Startsevthoughtthis,andatthesametimehewantedtocryoutthathewantedlove,that
hewaseagerforitatallcosts.Tohiseyestheywerenotslabsofmarble,butfairwhite

bodiesinthemoonlighthesawshapeshidingbashfullyintheshadowsofthetrees,felt
theirwarmth,andthelanguorwasoppressive....
Andasthoughacurtainwerelowered,themoonwentbehindacloud,andsuddenlyall
wasdarkness.Startsevcouldscarcelyfindthegatebynowitwasasdarkasitisonan
autumnnight.Thenhewanderedaboutforanhourandahalf,lookingforthesidestreet
inwhichhehadlefthishorses.
"IamtiredIcanscarcelystandonmylegs,"hesaidtoPanteleimon.
Andsettlinghimselfwithreliefinhiscarriage,hethought:"Och!Ioughtnottogetfat!"

III
ThefollowingeveninghewenttotheTurkins'tomakeanoffer.Butitturnedouttobean
inconvenientmoment,asEkaterinaIvanovnawasinherownroomhavingherhairdone
byahairdresser.Shewasgettingreadytogotoadanceattheclub.
Hehadtositalongtimeagaininthediningroomdrinkingtea.IvanPetrovitch,seeing
thathisvisitorwasboredandpreoccupied,drewsomenotesoutofhiswaistcoatpocket,
readafunnyletterfromaGermansteward,sayingthatalltheironmongerywasruined
andtheplasticitywaspeelingoffthewalls.
"Iexpecttheywillgiveadecentdowry,"thoughtStartsev,listeningabsentmindedly.
Afterasleeplessnight,hefoundhimselfinastateofstupefaction,asthoughhehadbeen
givensomethingsweetandsoporifictodrinktherewasfoginhissoul,butjoyand
warmth,andatthesametimeasortofcold,heavyfragmentofhisbrainwasreflecting:
"Stopbeforeitistoolate!Isshethematchforyou?Sheisspoilt,whimsical,sleepstill
twoo'clockintheafternoon,whileyouareadeacon'sson,adistrictdoctor...."
"Whatofit?"hethought."Idon'tcare."
"Besides,ifyoumarryher,"thefragmentwenton,"thenherrelationswillmakeyougive
upthedistrictworkandliveinthetown."
"Afterall,"hethought,"ifitmustbethetown,thetownitmustbe.Theywillgivea
dowrywecanestablishourselvessuitably."
AtlastEkaterinaIvanovnacamein,dressedfortheball,withalowneck,lookingfresh
andprettyandStartsevadmiredhersomuch,andwentintosuchecstasies,thathecould
saynothing,butsimplystaredatherandlaughed.
Shebegansayinggoodbye,andhehehadnoreasonforstayingnowgotup,saying
thatitwastimeforhimtogohomehispatientswerewaitingforhim.
"Well,there'snohelpforthat,"saidIvanPetrovitch."Go,andyoumighttakeKittento
theclubontheway."
Itwasspottingwithrainitwasverydark,andtheycouldonlytellwherethehorseswere
byPanteleimon'shuskycough.Thehoodofthecarriagewasputup.
"Istanduprightyouliedownrightheliesallright,"saidIvanPetrovitchasheputhis
daughterintothecarriage.
Theydroveoff.

"Iwasatthecemeteryyesterday,"Startsevbegan."Howungenerousandmercilessitwas
onyourpart!..."
"Youwenttothecemetery?"
"Yes,Iwentthereandwaitedalmosttilltwoo'clock.Isuffered
..."
"Well,suffer,ifyoucannotunderstandajoke."
EkaterinaIvanovna,pleasedathavingsocleverlytakeninamanwhowasinlovewith
her,andatbeingtheobjectofsuchintenselove,burstoutlaughingandsuddenlyuttered
ashriekofterror,for,atthatveryminute,thehorsesturnedsharplyinatthegateofthe
club,andthecarriagealmosttiltedover.Startsev puthisarmroundEkaterinaIvanovna's
waistinherfrightshenestleduptohim,andhecouldnotrestrainhimself,and
passionatelykissedheronthelipsandonthechin,andhuggedhermoretightly.
"That'senough,"shesaiddrily.
Andaminutelatershewasnotinthecarriage,andapolicemannearthelightedentrance
oftheclubshoutedinadetestablevoicetoPanteleimon:
"Whatareyoustoppingfor,youcrow?Driveon."
Startsevdrovehome,butsoonafterwardsreturned.Attiredinanotherman'sdresssuit
andastiffwhitetiewhichkeptsawingathisneckandtryingtoslipawayfromthecollar,
hewassittingatmidnightintheclubdrawingroom,andwassayingwithenthusiasmto
EkaterinaIvanovna.
"Ah,howlittlepeopleknowwhohaveneverloved!Itseemstomethatnoonehasever
yetwrittenoflovetruly,andIdoubtwhetherthistender,joyful,agonisingfeelingcanbe
described,andanyonewhohasonceexperienceditwouldnotattempttoputitinto
words.Whatistheuseofpreliminariesandintroductions?Whatistheuseofunnecessary
finewords?Myloveisimmeasurable.Ibeg,Ibeseechyou,"Startsevbroughtoutatlast,
"bemywife!"
"DmitriIonitch,"saidEkaterinaIvanovna,withaverygraveface,afteramoment's
thought"DmitriIonitch,Iamverygratefultoyouforthehonour.Irespectyou,but..."
shegotupandcontinuedstanding,"but,forgiveme,Icannotbeyourwife.Letustalk
seriously.DmitriIonitch,youknowIloveartbeyondeverythinginlife.IadoremusicI
loveitfranticallyIhavededicatedmywholelifetoit.IwanttobeanartistIwantfame,
success,freedom,andyouwantmetogoonlivinginthistown,togoonlivingthis
empty,uselesslife,whichhasbecomeinsufferabletome.Tobecomeawifeoh,no,
forgiveme!Onemuststrivetowardsalofty,gloriousgoal,andmarriedlifewouldputme
inbondageforever.DmitriIonitch"(shefaintlysmiledasshepronouncedhisnameshe

thoughtof"AlexeyFeofilaktitch")"DmitriIonitch,youareagood,clever,honourable
manyouarebetterthananyone...."Tearscameintohereyes."Ifeelforyouwithmy
wholeheart,but...butyouwillunderstand...."
Andsheturnedawayandwentoutofthedrawingroomtopreventherselffromcrying.
Startsev'sheartleftoffthrobbinguneasily.Goingoutoftheclubintothestreet,hefirstof
alltoreoffthestifftieanddrewadeepbreath.Hewasalittleashamedandhisvanitywas
woundedhehadnotexpectedarefusalandcouldnotbelievethatallhisdreams,his
hopesandyearnings,hadledhimuptosuchastupidend,justasinsomelittleplayatan
amateurperformance,andhewassorryforhisfeeling,forthatloveofhis,sosorrythat
hefeltasthoughhecouldhaveburstintosobsorhaveviolentlybelaboured
Panteleimon'sbroadbackwithhisumbrella.
Forthreedayshecouldnotgetonwithanything,hecouldnoteatnorsleepbutwhenthe
newsreachedhimthatEkaterinaIvanovnahadgoneawaytoMoscowtoenterthe
Conservatoire,hegrewcalmerandlivedasbefore.
Afterwards,rememberingsometimeshowhehadwanderedaboutthecemeteryorhowhe
haddrivenalloverthetowntogetadresssuit,hestretchedlazilyandsaid:
"Whatalotoftrouble,though!"

IV
Fouryearshadpassed.Startsevalreadyhadalargepracticeinthetown.Everymorning
hehurriedlysawhispatientsatDyalizh,thenhedroveintoseehistownpatients.By
nowhedrove,notwithapair,butwithateamofthreewithbellsonthem,andhe
returnedhomelateatnight.Hehadgrownbroaderandstouter,andwasnotveryfondof
walking,ashewassomewhatasthmatic.AndPanteleimonhadgrownstout,too,andthe
broaderhegrew,themoremournfullyhesighedandcomplainedofhishardluck:hewas
sickof driving!Startsevusedtovisitvarioushouseholdsandmetmanypeople,butdid
notbecomeintimatewithanyone.Theinhabitantsirritatedhimbytheirconversation,
theirviewsoflife,andeventheirappearance.Experiencetaughthimbydegreesthat
whileheplayedcardsorlunchedwithoneofthesepeople,themanwasapeaceable,
friendly,andevenintelligenthumanbeingthatassoonasonetalkedofanythingnot
eatable,forinstance,ofpoliticsorscience,hewouldbecompletelyataloss,orwould
expoundaphilosophysostupidandillnaturedthattherewasnothingelsetodobutwave
one'shandindespairandgoaway.EvenwhenStartsevtriedtotalktoliberalcitizens,
saying,forinstance,thathumanity,thankGod,wasprogressing,andthatonedayit
wouldbepossibletodispensewithpassportsandcapitalpunishment,theliberalcitizen
wouldlookathimaskanceandaskhimmistrustfully:"Thenanyonecouldmurderany
onehechoseintheopenstreet?"Andwhen,atteaorsupper,Startsevobservedin
companythatoneshouldwork,andthatoneoughtnottolivewithoutworking,everyone
tookthisasareproach,andbegantogetangryandargueaggressively.Withallthat,the
inhabitantsdidnothing,absolutelynothing,andtooknointerestinanything,anditwas
quiteimpossibletothinkofanythingtosay.AndStartsevavoidedconversation,and
confinedhimselftoeatingandplaying_vint_andwhentherewasafamilyfestivityin
somehouseholdandhewasinvitedtoameal,thenhesatandateinsilence,lookingathis
plate.
Andeverythingthatwassaidatthetimewasuninteresting,unjust,andstupidhefelt
irritatedanddisturbed,butheldhistongue,and,becausehesatglumlysilentandlooked
athisplate,hewasnicknamedinthetown"thehaughtyPole,"thoughheneverhadbeen
aPole.
Allsuchentertainmentsastheatresandconcertshedeclined,butheplayed_vint_every
eveningforthreehourswithenjoyment.Hehadanotherdiversiontowhichhetook
imperceptibly,littleby little:intheeveninghewouldtakeoutofhispocketsthenoteshe
hadgainedbyhispractice,andsometimestherewerestuffedinhispocketsnotesyellow
andgreen,andsmellingofscentandvinegarandincenseandfishoiluptothevalueof
seventyroublesandwhentheyamountedtosomehundredshetookthemtotheMutual
CreditBankanddepositedthemoneytheretohisaccount.
HewasonlytwiceattheTurkins'inthecourseofthefouryearsafterEkaterinaIvanovna
hadgoneaway,oneachoccasionattheinvitationofVeraIosifovna,whowasstill
undergoingtreatmentformigraine.EverysummerEkaterinaIvanovnacametostaywith
herparents,buthedidnotonceseeheritsomehowneverhappened.

Butnowfouryearshadpassed.Onestill,warm morningaletterwasbroughttothe
hospital.VeraIosifovnawrotetoDmitriIonitchthatshewasmissinghimverymuch,and
beggedhimtocomeandseethem,andtorelievehersufferingsand,bytheway,itwas
herbirthday.Belowwasapostscript:"Ijoininmother'srequest.K."
Startsevconsidered,andintheeveninghewenttotheTurkins'.
"Howdoyoudo,ifyouplease?"IvanPetrovitchmethim,smilingwithhiseyesonly.
"Bongjour."
VeraIosifovna,whitehairedandlookingmucholder,shookStartsev'shand,sighed
affectedly,andsaid:
"Youdon'tcaretopayattentionstome,doctor.YounevercomeandseeusIamtooold
foryou.Butnowsomeoneyounghascomeperhapsshewillbemorefortunate."
AndKitten?Shehadgrownthinner,paler,hadgrownhandsomerandmoregracefulbut
nowshewasEkaterinaIvanovna,notKittenshehadlostthefreshnessandlookof
childishnavet.Andinherexpressionandmannerstherewassomethingnewguilty
anddiffident,asthoughshedidnotfeelherselfathomehereintheTurkins'house.
"Howmanysummers,howmanywinters!"shesaid,givingStartsevherhand,andhe
couldseethatherheartwasbeatingwithexcitementandlookingathimintentlyand
curiously,shewenton:"Howmuchstouteryouare!Youlooksunburntandmoremanly,
butonthewholeyouhavechangedverylittle."
Now,too,hethoughtherattractive,veryattractive,buttherewassomethinglackingin
her,orelsesomethingsuperfluoushecouldnothimselfhavesaidexactlywhatitwas,
butsomethingpreventedhimfromfeelingasbefore.Hedidnotlikeherpallor,hernew
expression,herfaintsmile,hervoice,andsoonafterwardshedislikedherclothes,too,
thelowchairinwhichshewassittinghedislikedsomethinginthepastwhenhehad
almostmarriedher.Hethoughtofhislove,ofthedreamsandthehopeswhichhad
troubledhimfouryearsbeforeandhefeltawkward.
Theyhadteawithcakes.ThenVeraIosifovnareadaloudanovelshereadofthingsthat
neverhappenin reallife,andStartsevlistened,lookedatherhandsomegreyhead,and
waitedforhertofinish.
"Peoplearenotstupidbecausetheycan'twritenovels,butbecausetheycan'tconcealit
whentheydo,"hethought.
"Notbadsome,"saidIvanPetrovitch.
ThenEkaterinaIvanovnaplayedlongandnoisilyonthepiano,andwhenshefinishedshe
wasprofuselythankedandwarmlypraised.

"It'sagoodthingIdidnotmarryher,"thoughtStartsev.
Shelookedathim,andevidentlyexpectedhimtoaskhertogointothegarden,buthe
remainedsilent.
"Letushaveatalk,"shesaid,goinguptohim."Howareyougettingon?Whatareyou
doing?Howarethings?Ihavebeenthinkingaboutyouallthesedays,"shewenton
nervously."Iwantedtowritetoyou,wantedtocomemyselftoseeyouatDyalizh.I
quitemadeupmymindtogo,butafterwardsIthoughtbetterofit.Godknowswhatyour
attitudeistowardsmenowIhavebeenlookingforwardtoseeingyoutodaywithsuch
emotion.Forgoodness'sakeletusgointothegarden."
Theywentintothegardenandsatdownontheseatundertheoldmaple,justastheyhad
donefouryearsbefore.Itwasdark.
"Howareyougettingon?"askedEkaterinaIvanovna.
"Oh,allrightIamjoggingalong,"answeredStartsev.
Andhecouldthinkofnothingmore.Theyweresilent.
"Ifeelsoexcited!"saidEkaterinaIvanovna,andshehidherfaceinherhands."Butdon't
payattentiontoit.IamsohappytobeathomeIamsogladtoseeeveryone.Ican'tget
usedtoit.Somanymemories!Ithoughtweshouldtalkwithoutstoppingtillmorning."
Nowhesawherfacenear,hershiningeyes,andinthedarknessshelookedyoungerthan
intheroom,andevenheroldchildishexpressionseemedtohavecomebacktoher.And
indeedshewaslookingathimwithnavecuriosity,asthoughshewantedtogetacloser
viewandunderstandingofthemanwhohadlovedhersoardently,withsuchtenderness,
andsounsuccessfullyhereyesthankedhimforthatlove.Andherememberedallthat
hadbeen,everyminutedetailhowhehadwanderedaboutthecemetery,howhehad
returnedhomeinthemorningexhausted,andhesuddenlyfeltsadandregrettedthepast.
Awarmthbeganglowinginhisheart.
"DoyourememberhowItookyoutothedanceattheclub?"heasked."Itwasdarkand
rainythen..."
Thewarmthwasglowingnowinhisheart,andhelongedtotalk,torailatlife....
"Ech!"hesaidwithasigh."YouaskhowIamliving.Howdowelivehere?Why,notat
all.Wegrowold,wegrowstout, wegrowslack.Dayafterdaypasseslifeslipsby
withoutcolour,withoutexpressions,withoutthoughts....Inthedaytimeworkingfor
gain,andintheeveningtheclub,thecompanyofcardplayers,alcoholic,raucousvoiced
gentlemenwhomIcan'tendure.Whatisthereniceinit?"

"Well,youhaveworkanobleobjectinlife.Youusedtobesofondoftalkingofyour
hospital.IwassuchaqueergirlthenIimaginedmyselfsuchagreatpianist.Nowadays
allyoungladiesplaythepiano,andIplayed,too,likeeverybodyelse,andtherewas
nothingspecialaboutme.Iamjustsuchapianistasmymotherisanauthoress.Andof
courseIdidn'tunderstandyouthen,butafterwardsinMoscowIoftenthoughtofyou.I
thoughtofnoonebutyou.Whathappinesstobeadistrictdoctortohelpthesufferingto
beservingthepeople!Whathappiness!"EkaterinaIvanovnarepeatedwithenthusiasm.
"WhenIthoughtofyouinMoscow,youseemedtomesoideal,solofty...."
Startsevthoughtofthenotesheusedtotakeoutofhispocketsintheeveningwithsuch
pleasure,andtheglowinhisheartwasquenched.
Hegotuptogointothehouse.Shetookhisarm.
"YouarethebestmanI'veknowninmylife,"shewenton."Wewillseeeachotherand
talk,won'twe? Promiseme.IamnotapianistIamnotinerroraboutmyselfnow,andI
willnotplaybeforeyouortalkofmusic."
Whentheyhadgoneintothehouse,andwhenStartsevsawinthelamplightherface,and
hersad,grateful,searchingeyesfixeduponhim,hefeltuneasyandthoughtagain:
"It'sagoodthingIdidnotmarryherthen."
Hebegantakingleave.
"Youhavenohumanrighttogobeforesupper,"saidIvanPetrovitchashesawhimoff.
"It'sextremelyperpendicularonyourpart.Well,now,perform!"headded,addressing
Pavainthehall.
Pava,nolongeraboy,butayoungmanwithmoustaches,threwhimselfintoanattitude,
flunguphisarm,andsaidinatragicvoice:
"Unhappywoman,die!"
AllthisirritatedStartsev.Gettingintohiscarriage,andlookingatthedarkhouseand
gardenwhichhadoncebeensopreciousandsodear,hethoughtofeverythingatonce
VeraIosifovna'snovelsandKitten'snoisyplaying,andIvanPetrovitch'sjokesandPava's
tragicposturing,andthoughtifthemosttalentedpeopleinthetownweresofutile,what
mustthetownbe?
ThreedayslaterPavabroughtaletterfromEkaterinaIvanovna.
"Youdon'tcomeandseeuswhy?"shewrotetohim."Iamafraidthatyouhavechanged
towardsus.Iamafraid,andIamterrifiedattheverythoughtofit.Reassuremecome
andtellmethateverythingiswell.

"Imusttalktoyou.YourE.I."

Hereadthisletter,thoughtamoment,andsaidtoPava:
"Tellthem,mygoodfellow,thatIcan'tcometodayIamverybusy.SayIwillcomein
threedaysorso."
Butthreedayspassed,aweekpassedhestilldidnotgo.Happeningoncetodrivepast
theTurkins'house,hethoughthemustgoin,ifonlyforamoment,butonsecond
thoughts...didnotgoin.
AndheneverwenttotheTurkins'again.

V
Severalmoreyearshavepassed.Startsevhasgrownstouterstill,hasgrowncorpulent,
breathesheavily,andalreadywalkswithhisheadthrownback.Whenstoutandredinthe
face,hedriveswithhisbellsandhisteamofthreehorses,andPanteleimon,alsostout
andredinthefacewithhisthickbeefyneck,sitsonthebox,holdinghisarmsstifflyout
beforehimasthoughtheyweremadeofwood,andshoutstothosehemeets:"Keepto
theriiight!"itisanimpressivepictureonemightthinkitwasnotamortal,butsome
heathendeityinhischariot.Hehasanimmensepracticeinthetown,notimetobreathe,
andalreadyhasanestateandtwohousesinthetown,andheislookingoutforathird
moreprofitableandwhenattheMutualCreditBankheistoldofahousethatisforsale,
hegoestothehousewithoutceremony,and,marchingthroughalltherooms,regardless
ofhalfdressedwomenandchildrenwhogazeathiminamazementandalarm,heprods
atthedoorswithhisstick,andsays:
"Isthatthestudy?Isthatabedroom?Andwhat'shere?"
Andashedoessohebreathesheavilyandwipesthesweatfromhisbrow.
Hehasagreatdealtodo,butstillhedoesnotgiveuphisworkasdistrictdoctorheis
greedyforgain,andhetriestobeinallplacesatonce.AtDyalizhandinthetownheis
calledsimply"Ionitch":"WhereisIonitchoffto?"or"ShouldnotwecallinIonitchtoa
consultation?"
Probablybecausehisthroatiscoveredwithrollsoffat,hisvoicehaschangedithas
becomethinandsharp.Histemperhaschanged,too:hehasgrownillhumouredand
irritable.Whenheseeshispatientsheisusuallyoutoftemperheimpatientlytapsthe
floorwithhisstick,andshoutsinhisdisagreeablevoice:
"Besogoodastoconfineyourselftoansweringmyquestions!Don'ttalksomuch!"
Heissolitary.Heleadsadrearylifenothinginterestshim.
DuringalltheyearshehadlivedatDyalizhhisloveforKittenhadbeenhisonejoy,and
probablyhislast.Intheeveningsheplays_vint_attheclub,andthensitsaloneatabig
tableandhassupper.Ivan,theoldestandmostrespectableofthewaiters,serveshim,
handshimLafitteNo.17,andeveryoneattheclubthemembersofthecommittee,the
cookandwaitersknowwhathelikesandwhathedoesn'tlikeanddotheirveryutmost
tosatisfyhim,orelseheissuretoflyintoarageandbangonthefloorwithhisstick.
Asheeatshissupper,heturnsroundfromtimetotimeandputsinhisspokeinsome
conversation:
"Whatareyoutalkingabout?Eh?Whom?"

AndwhenataneighbouringtablethereistalkoftheTurkins,heasks:
"WhatTurkinsareyouspeakingof?Doyoumeanthepeoplewhosedaughterplayson
thepiano?"
Thatisallthatcanbesaidabouthim.
AndtheTurkins?IvanPetrovitchhasgrownnoolderheisnotchangedintheleast,and
stillmakesjokesandtellsanecdotesasofold.VeraIosifovnastillreadshernovelsaloud
tohervisitorswitheagernessandtouchingsimplicity.AndKittenplaysthepianoforfour
hourseveryday.Shehasgrownvisiblyolder,isconstantlyailing,andeveryautumngoes
totheCrimeawithhermother.WhenIvanPetrovitchseesthemoffatthestation,he
wipeshistearsasthe trainstarts,andshouts:
"Goodbye,ifyouplease."
Andhewaveshishandkerchief.

THEHEADOFTHEFAMILY
ITis,asarule,afterlosingheavilyatcardsorafteradrinkingboutwhenanattackof
dyspepsiaissettinginthatStepanStepanitchZhilinwakesupinanexceptionallygloomy
frameofmind.Helookssour,rumpled,anddishevelledthereisanexpressionof
displeasureonhisgreyface,asthoughhewereoffendedordisgustedbysomething.He
dressesslowly,sipshisVichywaterdeliberately,andbeginswalkingabouttherooms.
"Ishouldliketoknowwhatbbbeastcomesinhereanddoesnotshutthedoor!"he
grumblesangrily,wrappinghisdressinggownabouthimandspittingloudly."Takeaway
thatpaper!Whyisitlyingabouthere?Wekeeptwentyservants,andtheplaceismore
untidythanapothouse.Whowasthatringing?Whothedevilisthat?"
"That'sAnfissa,themidwifewhobroughtourFedyaintotheworld,"answershiswife.
"Alwayshangingabout...thesecadgingtoadies!"
"There'snomakingyouout,StepanStepanitch.Youaskedheryourself,andnowyou
scold."
"IamnotscoldingIamspeaking.Youmightfindsomethingtodo,mydear,insteadof
sittingwithyourhandsinyourlaptryingtopickaquarrel.Uponmyword,womenare
beyondmycomprehension!Beyondmycomprehension!Howcantheywastewholedays
doingnothing?Amanworkslikeanox,likeabbeast,whilehiswife,thepartnerofhis
life,sitslikeaprettydoll,sitsanddoesnothingbutwatchforanopportunitytoquarrel
withherhusbandbywayofdiversion.It'stimetodroptheseschoolgirlishways,mydear.
Youarenotaschoolgirl,notayoungladyyouareawifeandmother!Youturnaway?
Aha!It'snotagreeabletolistentothebittertruth!
"It'sstrangethatyouonlyspeakthebittertruthwhenyourliverisoutoforder."
"That'srightgetupascene."
"Haveyoubeenoutlate?Orplayingcards?"
"WhatifIhave?Isthatanybody'sbusiness?AmIobligedtogiveanaccountofmy
doingstoanyone? It'smyownmoneyIlose,Isuppose?WhatIspendaswellaswhatis
spentinthishousebelongstomeme.Doyouhear?Tome!"
Andsoon,allinthesamestyle.ButatnoothertimeisStepanStepanitchsoreasonable,
virtuous,sternorjustasatdinner,whenallhishouseholdaresittingabouthim.Itusually
beginswiththesoup.AfterswallowingthefirstspoonfulZhilinsuddenlyfrownsandputs
downhisspoon.
"Damnitall!"hemutters"Ishallhavetodineatarestaurant,Isuppose."

"What'swrong?"askshiswifeanxiously."Isn'tthesoupgood?"
"Onemusthavethetasteofapigtoeathogwashlikethat!There'stoomuchsaltinitit
smellsofdirtyrags...morelikebugsthanonions....It'ssimplyrevolting,Anfissa
Ivanovna,"hesays,addressingthemidwife."EverydayIgivenoendofmoneyfor
housekeeping....Idenymyselfeverything,andthisiswhattheyprovideformydinner!
Isupposetheywantmetogiveuptheofficeandgointothekitchentodothecooking
myself."
"Thesoupisverygoodtoday,"thegovernessventurestimidly.
"Oh,youthinkso?"saysZhilin,lookingatherangrilyfromunderhiseyelids."Everyone
tohistaste,ofcourse.Itmustbeconfessedourtastesareverydifferent,Varvara
Vassilyevna.You, forinstance,aresatisfiedwiththebehaviourofthisboy"(Zhilinwith
atragicgesturepointstohissonFedya)"youaredelightedwithhim,whileI...Iam
disgusted.Yes!"
Fedya,aboyofsevenwithapale,sicklyface,leavesoffeatinganddropshiseyes.His
facegrowspalerstill.
"Yes,youaredelighted,andIamdisgusted.Whichofusisright,Icannotsay,butI
venturetothinkashisfather,Iknowmyownsonbetterthanyoudo.Lookhowheis
sitting!Isthatthewaydecentlybroughtupchildrensit?Sitproperly."
Fedyatiltshischinup,craneshisneck,andfanciesthatheisholdinghimselfbetter.
Tearscomeintohiseyes.
"Eatyourdinner!Holdyourspoonproperly!Youwait.I'llshowyou,youhorridboy!
Don'tdaretowhimper! Lookstraightatme!"
Fedyatriestolookstraightathim,buthisfaceisquiveringandhiseyesfillwithtears.
"Aah!...youcry?Youarenaughtyandthenyoucry?Goandstandinthecorner,you
beast!"
"But...lethimhavehisdinnerfirst,"hiswifeintervenes.
"Nodinnerforhim!Suchbla...suchrascalsdon'tdeservedinner!"
Fedya,wincingandquiveringallover,creepsdownfromhischairandgoesintothe
corner.
"Youwon'tgetoffwiththat!"hisparentpersists."Ifnobodyelsecarestolookafteryour
bringingup,sobeitImustbegin....Iwon'tletyoubenaughtyandcryatdinner,my
lad!Idiot!Youmustdoyourduty!Doyouunderstand?Doyourduty!Yourfatherworks

andyoumustwork,too!Noonemusteatthebreadof idleness!Youmustbeaman!A
mman!"
"ForGod'ssake,leaveoff,"sayshiswifeinFrench."Don'tnagatusbeforeoutsiders,at
least....Theoldwomanisallearsandnow,thankstoher,allthetownwillhearofit."
"Iamnotafraidofoutsiders,"answersZhilininRussian."AnfissaIvanovnaseesthatI
amspeakingthetruth.Why,doyouthinkIoughttobepleasedwiththeboy?Doyou
knowwhathecostsme?Doyouknow,younastyboy,whatyoucostme?Ordoyou
imaginethatIcoinmoney,thatIgetitfornothing?Don'thowl!Holdyourtongue!Do
youhearwhatIsay?Doyouwantmetowhipyou,youyoungruffian?"
Fedyawailsaloudandbeginstosob.
"Thisisinsufferable,"sayshismother,gettingupfromthetableandflingingdownher
dinnernapkin."Youneverletushavedinnerinpeace!Yourbreadsticksinmythroat."
Andputtingherhandkerchieftohereyes,shewalksoutofthediningroom.
"Nowsheisoffended,"grumblesZhilin,withaforcedsmile."She'sbeenspoilt....
That'showitis,AnfissaIvanovnanoonelikestohearthetruthnowadays....It'sallmy
fault,itseems."
Severalminutesofsilencefollow.Zhilinlooksroundattheplates,andnoticingthatno
onehasyettouchedtheirsoup,heavesadeepsigh,andstaresattheflushedanduneasy
faceofthegoverness.
"Whydon'tyoueat,VarvaraVassilyevna?"heasks."Offended,Isuppose?Isee....You
don'tliketobetoldthetruth.Youmustforgiveme,it'smynatureIcan'tbeahypocrite..
..Ialwaysblurtouttheplaintruth"(asigh)."ButInoticethatmypresenceis
unwelcome.NoonecaneatortalkwhileIamhere....Well,youshouldhavetoldme,
andIwouldhavegoneaway....Iwillgo."
Zhilingetsupandwalkswithdignitytothedoor.AshepassestheweepingFedyahe
stops.
"Afterallthathaspassedhere,youarefree,"hesaystoFedya,throwingbackhishead
withdignity."Iwon'tmeddleinyourbringingupagain.Iwashmyhandsofit!Ihumbly
apologisethatasafather,fromasinceredesireforyourwelfare,Ihavedisturbedyouand
yourmentors.Atthesametime,onceforallIdisclaimallresponsibilityforyourfuture..
.."
Fedyawailsandsobsmoreloudlythanever.Zhilinturnswithdignitytothedoorand
departstohisbedroom.

Whenhewakesfromhisafterdinnernaphebeginstofeelthestingsofconscience.Heis
ashamedtofacehiswife,hisson,AnfissaIvanovna,andevenfeelsverywretchedwhen
herecallsthesceneatdinner,buthisamourpropreistoomuchforhimhehasnotthe
manlinesstobefrank,andhegoesonsulkingandgrumbling.
Wakingupnextmorning,hefeelsinexcellentspirits,andwhistlesgailyashewashes.
Goingintothediningroomtobreakfast,hefindsthereFedya,who,atthesightofhis
father,getsupandlooksathimhelplessly.
"Well,youngman?"Zhilingreetshimgoodhumouredly,sittingdowntothetable."What
haveyougottotellme,youngman?Areyouallright?Well,come,chubbygiveyour
fatherakiss."
Withapale,gravefaceFedyagoesuptohisfatherandtoucheshischeekwithhis
quiveringlips,thenwalksawayandsitsdowninhisplacewithoutaword.

THEBLACKMONK
I
ANDREYVASSILITCHKOVRIN,whoheldamaster'sdegreeattheUniversity,had
exhaustedhimself,andhadupsethisnerves.Hedidnotsendforadoctor,butcasually,
overabottleofwine,hespoketoafriendwhowasadoctor,andthelatteradvisedhimto
spendthespringandsummerinthecountry.Veryopportunelyalonglettercamefrom
TanyaPesotsky,whoaskedhimtocomeandstaywiththematBorissovka.Andhemade
uphismindthathereallymustgo.
TobeginwiththatwasinAprilhewenttohisownhome,Kovrinka,andtherespent
threeweeksinsolitudethen,assoonastheroadswerein goodcondition,hesetoff,
drivinginacarriage,tovisitPesotsky,hisformerguardian,whohadbroughthimup,and
wasahorticulturistwellknownalloverRussia.ThedistancefromKovrinkato
Borissovkawasreckonedonlyalittleoverfiftymiles.TodrivealongasoftroadinMay
inacomfortablecarriagewithspringswasarealpleasure.
Pesotskyhadanimmensehousewithcolumnsandlions,offwhichthestuccowas
peeling,andwithafootmaninswallowtailsattheentrance.Theoldpark,laidoutinthe
Englishstyle,gloomyandsevere,stretchedforalmostthreequartersofamiletothe
river,andthereendedinasteep,precipitousclaybank,wherepinesgrewwithbareroots
thatlookedlikeshaggypawsthewatershonebelowwithanunfriendly gleam,andthe
peewitsflewupwithaplaintivecry,andthereonealwaysfeltthatonemustsitdownand
writeaballad.Butnearthehouseitself,inthecourtyardandorchard,whichtogetherwith
thenurseriescoveredninetyacres,itwasalllifeandgaietyeveninbadweather.Such
marvellousroses,lilies,camelliassuchtulipsofallpossibleshades,fromglistening
whitetosootyblacksuchawealthofflowers,infact,Kovrinhadneverseenanywhere
asatPesotsky's.Itwasonlythebeginningof spring,andtherealgloryoftheflowerbeds
wasstillhiddenawayinthehothouses.Buteventheflowersalongtheavenues,andhere
andthereintheflowerbeds,wereenoughtomakeonefeel,asonewalkedaboutthe
garden,asthoughonewereinarealmoftendercolours,especiallyintheearlymorning
whenthedewwasglisteningoneverypetal.
Whatwasthedecorativepartofthegarden,andwhatPesotskycontemptuouslyspokeof
asrubbish,hadatonetimeinhischildhoodgivenKovrinanimpression offairyland.
Everysortofcaprice,ofelaboratemonstrosityandmockeryatNaturewashere.There
wereespaliersoffruittrees,apeartreeintheshapeofapyramidalpoplar,sphericaloaks
andlimetrees,anappletreeintheshapeofanumbrella,plumtreestrainedintoarches,
crests,candelabra,andevenintothenumber1862theyearwhenPesotskyfirsttookup
horticulture.Onecameacross,too,lovely,gracefultreeswithstrong,straightstemslike
palms,anditwasonlybylookingintentlythatonecouldrecognisethesetreesas
gooseberriesorcurrants.Butwhatmadethegardenmostcheerfulandgaveitalivelyair,

wasthecontinualcomingandgoinginit,fromearlymorningtilleveningpeoplewith
wheelbarrows,shovels,andwateringcansswarmedroundthetreesandbushes,inthe
avenuesandtheflowerbeds,likeants....
KovrinarrivedatPesotsky'satteno'clockintheevening.HefoundTanyaandherfather,
YegorSemyonitch,ingreatanxiety.Theclearstarlightskyandthethermometerforetold
afrosttowardsmorning,andmeanwhileIvanKarlovitch,thegardener,hadgonetothe
town,andtheyhadnoonetorelyupon.Atsuppertheytalkedofnothingbutthemorning
frost,anditwassettledthatTanyashouldnotgotobed,andbetweentwelveandone
shouldwalkthroughthegarden,andseethateverythingwasdoneproperly,andYegor
Semyonitchshouldgetupatthreeo'clockorevenearlier.
KovrinsatwithTanyaalltheevening,andaftermidnightwentoutwithherintothe
garden.Itwascold.Therewasastrongsmellofburningalreadyinthegarden.Inthebig
orchard,whichwascalledthecommercialgarden,andwhichbroughtYegorSemyonitch
severalthousandclearprofit,athick,black,acridsmokewascreepingovertheground
and,curlingaroundthetrees,wassavingthosethousandsfromthefrost.Herethetrees
werearrangedasonachessboard,instraightandregularrowslikeranksofsoldiers,and
thisseverepedanticregularity,andthefactthatallthetreeswereofthesamesize,and
hadtopsandtrunksallexactlyalike,madethemlookmonotonousandevendreary.
KovrinandTanyawalkedalongtherowswherefiresofdung,straw,andallsortsof
refuseweresmouldering,andfromtimetotimetheyweremetbylabourerswho
wanderedinthesmokelikeshadows.Theonlytreesinflowerwerethecherries,plums,
andcertainsortsofapples,butthewholegardenwasplungedinsmoke,anditwasonly
nearthenurseriesthatKovrincouldbreathefreely.
"EvenasachildIusedtosneezefromthesmokehere,"hesaid,shrugginghisshoulders,
"buttothisdayIdon'tunderstandhowsmokecankeepofffrost."
"Smoketakestheplaceofcloudswhentherearenone..."answeredTanya.
"Andwhatdoyouwantcloudsfor?"
"Inovercastandcloudyweatherthereisnofrost."
"Youdon'tsayso."
Helaughedandtookherarm.Herbroad,veryearnestface,chilledwiththefrost,with
herdelicateblackeyebrows,theturnedupcollarofhercoat,whichpreventedher
movingherheadfreely,andthewholeofherthin,gracefulfigure,withherskirtstucked
uponaccountofthedew,touchedhim.
"Goodheavens!sheisgrownup,"hesaid."WhenIwentawayfromherelast,fiveyears
ago,youwerestillachild.Youweresuchathin,longleggedcreature,withyourhair
hangingonyourshouldersyouusedtowearshortfrocks,andIusedtoteaseyou,calling
youaheron....Whattimedoes!"

"Yes,fiveyears!"sighedTanya."Muchwaterhasflowedsincethen.Tellme,
Andryusha,honestly,"shebeganeagerly,lookinghimintheface:"doyoufeelstrange
withusnow?ButwhydoIaskyou?Youareaman,youliveyourowninterestinglife,
youaresomebody....Togrowapartissonatural!Buthoweverthatmaybe,
Andryusha,Iwantyouto thinkofusasyourpeople.Wehavearighttothat."
"Ido,Tanya."
"Onyourwordofhonour?"
"Yes,onmywordofhonour."
"Youweresurprisedthiseveningthatwehavesomanyofyourphotographs.Youknow
myfatheradoresyou.Sometimesitseemstomethathelovesyoumorethanhedoesme.
Heisproudofyou.Youareaclever,extraordinaryman,youhavemadeabrilliantcareer
foryourself,andheispersuadedthatyouhaveturnedoutlikethisbecausehebrought
youup.Idon'ttrytopreventhim fromthinkingso.Lethim."
Dawnwasalreadybeginning,andthatwasespeciallyperceptiblefromthedistinctness
withwhichthecoilsofsmokeandthetopsofthetreesbegantostandoutintheair.
"It'stimewewereasleep,though,"saidTanya,"andit'scold,too."Shetookhisarm.
"Thankyouforcoming,Andryusha.Wehaveonlyuninterestingacquaintances,andnot
manyofthem.Wehaveonlythegarden,thegarden,thegarden,andnothingelse.
Standards,halfstandards,"shelaughed."Aports,Reinettes,Borovinkas,buddedstocks,
graftedstocks....All,allourlifehasgoneintothegarden.Ineverevendreamof
anythingbutapplesandpears.Ofcourse,itisveryniceanduseful,butsometimesone
longsforsomethingelseforvariety.Irememberthatwhenyouusedtocometousforthe
summerholidays,orsimplyavisit,italwaysseemedtobefresherandbrighterinthe
house,asthoughthecovershadbeentakenoffthelustresandthefurniture.Iwasonlya
littlegirlthen,butyetIunderstoodit."
Shetalkedalongwhileandwithgreatfeeling.Forsomereasontheideacameintohis
headthatinthecourseofthesummerhemightgrowfondofthislittle,weak,talkative
creature,mightbecarriedawayandfallinloveintheirpositionitwassopossibleand
natural!Thisthoughttouchedandamusedhimhebentdowntohersweet,preoccupied
faceandhummedsoftly:
"'Onyegin,Iwon'tconcealit
ImadlyloveTatiana....'"
Bythetimetheyreachedthehouse,YegorSemyonitchhadgotup.Kovrindidnotfeel
sleepyhetalkedtotheoldmanandwenttothegardenwithhim.YegorSemyonitchwas
atall,broadshouldered,corpulentman,andhesufferedfromasthma,yethewalkedso
fastthatitwashardworktohurryafterhim.Hehadanextremelypreoccupiedairhewas

alwayshurryingsomewhere,withanexpressionthatsuggestedthatifhewereoneminute
lateallwouldberuined!
"Hereisabusiness,brother..."hebegan,standingstilltotakebreath."On thesurfaceof
theground,asyousee,isfrostbutifyouraisethethermometeronastickfourteenfeet
abovetheground,thereitiswarm....Whyisthat?"
"Ireallydon'tknow,"saidKovrin,andhelaughed.
"H'm!...Onecan'tknoweverything,ofcourse....Howeverlargetheintellectmaybe,
youcan'tfindroomforeverythinginit.Isupposeyoustillgoinchieflyforphilosophy?"
"Yes,IlectureinpsychologyIamworkingatphilosophyingeneral."
"Anditdoesnotboreyou?"
"Onthecontrary,it'sallIlivefor."
"Well,Godblessyou!..."saidYegorSemyonitch,meditativelystrokinghisgrey
whiskers."Godblessyou!...Iamdelightedaboutyou...delighted,myboy...."
Butsuddenlyhelistened,and,withaterribleface,ranoffandquicklydisappearedbehind
thetreesinacloudofsmoke.
"Whotiedthishorsetoanappletree?"Kovrinheardhisdespairing,heartrendingcry.
"Whoisthelowscoundrelwhohasdaredtotiethishorsetoanappletree?MyGod,my
God!Theyhaveruinedeverythingtheyhavespoilteverythingtheyhavedone
everythingfilthy,horrible,andabominable.Theorchard'sdonefor,theorchard'sruined.
MyGod!"
WhenhecamebacktoKovrin,hisfacelookedexhaustedandmortified.
"Whatisonetodowiththeseaccursedpeople?"hesaidinatearfulvoice,flinginguphis
hands."Styopkawascartingdungatnight,andtiedthehorsetoanappletree!Hetwisted
thereinsroundit,therascal,astightlyashecould,sothatthebarkisrubbedoff inthree
places.Whatdoyouthinkofthat!Ispoketohimandhestandslikeapostandonly
blinkshiseyes.Hangingistoogoodforhim."
Growingcalmer,heembracedKovrinandkissedhimonthecheek.
"Well,Godblessyou!...Godblessyou!..."hemuttered."Iamverygladyouhave
come.Unutterablyglad....Thankyou."
Then,withthesamerapidstepandpreoccupiedface,hemadetheroundofthewhole
garden,andshowedhisformerwardallhisgreenhousesandhothouses,hiscoveredin
garden,andtwoapiarieswhichhecalledthemarvelofourcentury.

Whiletheywerewalkingthesunrose,floodingthegardenwithbrilliantlight.Itgrew
warm.Foreseeingalong,bright,cheerfulday,Kovrinrecollectedthatitwasonlythe
beginningofMay,andthathehadbeforehimawholesummerasbright,cheerful,and
longandsuddenlytherestirredinhisbosomajoyous,youthfulfeeling,suchasheused
toexperienceinhischildhood,runningaboutinthatgarden.Andhehuggedtheoldman
andkissedhimaffectionately.Bothofthem,feelingtouched,wentindoorsanddranktea
outofoldfashionedchinacups,withcreamandsatisfyingkrendelsmadewithmilkand
eggsandthesetriflesremindedKovrinagainofhischildhoodandboyhood.The
delightfulpresentwasblendedwiththeimpressionsofthepastthatstirredwithinhim
therewasatightnessathisheartyethewashappy.
HewaitedtillTanyawasawakeandhadcoffeewithher,wentforawalk,thenwentto
hisroomandsatdowntowork.Hereadattentively,makingnotes,andfromtimetotime
raisedhiseyestolookoutattheopenwindowsoratthefresh,stilldewyflowersinthe
vasesonthetableandagainhedroppedhiseyestohisbook,anditseemedtohimas
thougheveryveininhisbodywasquiveringandflutteringwithpleasure.

II
Inthecountryheledjustasnervousandrestlessalifeasintown.Hereadandwrotea
greatdeal,hestudiedItalian,andwhenhewasoutforawalk,thoughtwithpleasurethat
hewouldsoonsitdowntoworkagain.Hesleptsolittlethateveryonewonderedathim
ifheaccidentallydozedforhalfanhourinthedaytime,hewouldlieawakeallnight,and,
afterasleeplessnight,wouldfeelcheerfulandvigorousasthoughnothinghadhappened.
Hetalkedagreatdeal,drankwine,andsmokedexpensivecigars.Veryoften,almost
everyday,youngladiesofneighbouringfamilieswouldcometothePesotskys',and
wouldsingandplaythepianowithTanyasometimesayoungneighbourwhowasa
goodviolinistwouldcome,too.Kovrinlistenedwitheagernesstothemusicandsinging,
andwasexhaustedbyit,andthisshoweditselfbyhiseyesclosingandhisheadfallingto
oneside.
Onedayhewassittingonthebalconyaftereveningtea,reading.Atthesametime,inthe
drawingroom,Tanyatakingsoprano,oneoftheyoungladiesacontralto,andtheyoung
manwithhisviolin,werepractisingawellknownserenadeofBraga's.Kovrinlistenedto
thewordstheywereRussianandcouldnotunderstandtheirmeaning.Atlast,leaving
hisbookandlisteningattentively,heunderstood:amaiden,fullofsickfancies,heardone
nightinhergardenmysterioussounds,sostrangeandlovelythatshewasobligedto
recognisethemasaholyharmonywhichisunintelligibletousmortals,andsofliesback
toheaven.Kovrin'seyesbegantoclose.Hegotup,andinexhaustionwalkedupand
downthedrawingroom,andthenthediningroom.Whenthesingingwasoverhetook
Tanya'sarm,andwithherwentoutonthebalcony.
"Ihavebeenalldaythinkingofalegend,"hesaid."Idon'trememberwhetherIhaveread
itsomewhereorheardit,butitisastrangeandalmostgrotesquelegend.Tobeginwith,it
issomewhatobscure.Athousandyearsagoamonk,dressedinblack,wanderedaboutthe
desert,somewhereinSyriaorArabia....Somemilesfromwherehewas,some
fishermansawanotherblackmonk,whowasmovingslowlyoverthesurfaceofalake.
Thissecondmonkwasamirage.Nowforgetallthelawsofoptics,whichthelegenddoes
notrecognise,andlistentotherest.Fromthatmiragetherewascastanothermirage,then
fromthatotherathird,sothattheimageoftheblackmonkbegantoberepeated
endlesslyfromonelayeroftheatmospheretoanother.Sothathewasseenatonetimein
Africa,atanotherinSpain,theninItaly,thenintheFarNorth....Thenhepassedoutof
theatmosphereoftheearth,andnowheiswanderingallovertheuniverse,stillnever
comingintoconditionsinwhichhemightdisappear.Possiblyhemaybeseennowin
MarsorinsomestaroftheSouthernCross.But,mydear,therealpointonwhichthe
wholelegendhangsliesinthefactthat,exactlyathousandyearsfromthedaywhenthe
monkwalkedinthedesert,themiragewillreturntotheatmosphereoftheearthagain
andwillappeartomen.Anditseemsthatthethousandyearsisalmostup....According
tothelegend,wemaylookoutfortheblackmonktodayortomorrow."
"Aqueermirage,"saidTanya,whodidnotlikethelegend.

"Butthemostwonderfulpartofitall,"laughedKovrin,"isthatIsimplycannotrecall
whereIgotthislegendfrom.HaveIreaditsomewhere?HaveIheardit?OrperhapsI
dreamedoftheblackmonk.IswearIdon'tremember.Butthelegendinterestsme.Ihave
beenthinkingaboutitallday."
LettingTanyagobacktohervisitors,hewentoutofthehouse,and,lostinmeditation,
walkedbytheflowerbeds.Thesunwasalreadysetting.Theflowers,havingjustbeen
watered,gaveforthadamp,irritatingfragrance.Indoorstheybegansingingagain,andin
thedistancetheviolinhadtheeffectofahumanvoice.Kovrin,rackinghisbrainsto
rememberwherehehadreadorheardthelegend,turnedslowlytowardsthepark,and
unconsciouslywentasfarastheriver.Byalittlepaththatranalongthesteepbank,
betweenthebareroots,hewentdowntothewater,disturbedthepeewitsthereand
frightenedtwoducks.Thelastraysofthesettingsunstillthrewlighthereandthereon
thegloomypines,butitwasquitedarkonthesurfaceoftheriver.Kovrincrossedtothe
othersidebythenarrowbridge.Beforehimlayawidefieldcoveredwithyoungryenot
yetinblossom.Therewasnolivinghabitation,nolivingsoulinthedistance,andit
seemedasthoughthelittlepath,ifonewentalongit,wouldtakeonetotheunknown,
mysteriousplacewherethesunhadjustgonedown,andwheretheeveningglowwas
flaminginimmensityandsplendour.
"Howopen,howfree,howstillitishere!"thoughtKovrin,walkingalongthepath."And
itfeelsasthoughalltheworldwerewatchingme,hidingandwaitingformeto
understandit...."
Butthenwavesbeganrunningacrosstherye,andalighteveningbreezesoftlytouched
hisuncoveredhead.Aminutelatertherewasanothergustofwind,butstrongertherye
beganrustling,andheheardbehindhimthehollowmurmurofthepines.Kovrinstood
stillinamazement.Fromthehorizonthereroseuptothesky,likeawhirlwindora
waterspout,atallblackcolumn.Itsoutlinewasindistinct,butfromthefirstinstantit
couldbeseenthatitwasnotstandingstill,butmovingwithfearfulrapidity,moving
straighttowardsKovrin,andtheneareritcamethesmallerandthemoredistinctitwas.
Kovrinmovedasideintotheryetomakewayforit,andonlyjusthadtimetodoso.
Amonk,dressedinblack,withagreyheadandblackeyebrows,hisarmscrossedover
hisbreast,floatedbyhim....Hisbarefeetdidnottouchtheearth.Afterhehadfloated
twentyfeetbeyondhim,helookedroundatKovrin,andnoddedtohimwithafriendly
butslysmile.Butwhatapale,fearfullypale,thinface!Beginningtogrowlargeragain,
heflewacrosstheriver,collidednoiselesslywiththeclaybankandpines,andpassing
through them,vanishedlikesmoke.
"Why,yousee,"mutteredKovrin,"theremustbetruthinthelegend."
Withouttryingtoexplaintohimselfthestrangeapparition,gladthathehadsucceededin
seeingsonearandsodistinctly,notonlythemonk'sblackgarments,butevenhisface
andeyes,agreeablyexcited,hewentbacktothehouse.

Intheparkandinthegardenpeopleweremovingaboutquietly,inthehousetheywere
playingsohealonehadseenthemonk.HehadanintensedesiretotellTanyaandYegor
Semyonitch,buthereflectedthattheywouldcertainlythinkhiswordstheravingsof
delirium,andthatwouldfrightenthemhehadbettersaynothing.
Helaughedaloud,sang,anddancedthemazurkahewasinhighspirits,andallofthem,
thevisitorsandTanya,thoughthehadapeculiarlook,radiantandinspired,andthathe
wasveryinteresting.

III
Aftersupper,whenthevisitorshadgone,hewenttohisroomandlaydownonthesofa:
hewantedtothinkaboutthemonk.ButaminutelaterTanyacamein.
"Here,Andryushareadfather'sarticles,"shesaid,givinghimabundleofpamphletsand
proofs."Theyaresplendidarticles.Hewritescapitally."
"Capitally,indeed!"saidYegorSemyonitch,followingherandsmilingconstrainedlyhe
wasashamed."Don'tlistentoher,pleasedon'treadthem!Though,ifyouwanttogoto
sleep,readthembyallmeanstheyareafinesoporific."
"Ithinktheyaresplendidarticles,"saidTanya,withdeepconviction."Youreadthem,
Andryusha,andpersuadefathertowriteoftener.Hecouldwriteacompletemanualof
horticulture."
YegorSemyonitchgaveaforcedlaugh,blushed,andbeganutteringthephrasesusually
madeusofbyanembarrassedauthor.Atlasthebegantogiveway.
"Inthatcase,beginwithGaucher'sarticleandtheseRussianarticles,"hemuttered,
turningoverthepamphletswithatremblinghand,"orelseyouwon'tunderstand.Before
youreadmyobjections,youmustknowwhatIamobjectingto.Butit'sallnonsense...
tiresomestuff.Besides,Ibelieveit'sbedtime."
Tanyawentaway.YegorSemyonitchsatdownonthesofabyKovrinandheavedadeep
sigh.
"Yes,myboy..."hebeganafterapause."That'showitis,mydearlecturer.HereIwrite
articles,andtakepartinexhibitions,andreceivemedals....Pesotsky,theysay,has
applesthesizeofahead,andPesotsky,theysay,hasmadehisfortunewithhisgarden.In
short,'Kotchebyisrichandglorious.'Butoneasksoneself:whatisitallfor?Thegarden
iscertainlyfine,amodel.It'snotreallyagarden,butaregularinstitution,whichisofthe
greatestpublicimportancebecauseitmarks,sotosay,anewerainRussianagriculture
andRussianindustry.But,what'sitfor?What'stheobjectofit?"
"Thefactspeaksforitself."
"Idonotmeaninthatsense.Imeanttoask:whatwillhappentothegardenwhenIdie?
Intheconditioninwhichyouseeitnow,itwouldnotbemaintainedforonemonth
withoutme.Thewholesecretofsuccessliesnotinitsbeingabiggardenora great
numberoflabourersbeingemployedinit,butinthefactthatIlovethework.Doyou
understand?Iloveitperhapsmorethanmyself.LookatmeIdoeverythingmyself.I
workfrommorningtonight:Idoallthegraftingmyself,thepruningmyself,theplanting
myself.Idoitallmyself:whenanyonehelpsmeIamjealousandirritabletillIamrude.
Thewholesecretliesinlovingitthatis,inthesharpeyeofthemasteryes,andinthe

master'shands,andinthefeelingthatmakesone,when onegoesanywhereforanhour's
visit,sit,illatease,withone'sheartfaraway,afraidthatsomethingmayhavehappened
inthegarden.ButwhenIdie,whowilllookafterit?Whowillwork?Thegardener?The
labourers?Yes?ButIwilltellyou,mydearfellow,theworstenemyinthegardenisnot
ahare,notacockchafer,andnotthefrost,butanyoutsideperson."
"AndTanya?"askedKovrin,laughing."Shecan'tbemoreharmfulthanahare?Sheloves
theworkandunderstandsit."
"Yes,shelovesitandunderstandsit.Ifaftermydeaththegardengoestoherandsheis
themistress,ofcoursenothingbettercouldbewished.Butif,whichGodforbid,she
shouldmarry,"YegorSemyonitchwhispered,andlookedwithafrightenedlookat
Kovrin,"that'sjustit.Ifshemarriesandchildrencome,shewillhavenotimetothink
aboutthegarden.WhatIfearmostis:shewillmarrysomefinegentleman,andhewillbe
greedy,andhewillletthegardentopeoplewhowillrunitforprofit,andeverythingwill
go tothedeviltheveryfirstyear!InourworkfemalesarethescourgeofGod!"
YegorSemyonitchsighedandpausedforawhile.
"Perhapsitisegoism,butItellyoufrankly:Idon'twantTanyatogetmarried.Iamafraid
ofit!Thereisoneyoungdandy comestoseeus,bringinghisviolinandscrapingonitI
knowTanyawillnotmarryhim,IknowitquitewellbutIcan'tbeartoseehim!
Altogether,myboy,Iamveryqueer.Iknowthat."
YegorSemyonitchgotupandwalkedabouttheroominexcitement,anditwasevident
thathewantedtosaysomethingveryimportant,butcouldnotbringhimselftoit.
"Iamveryfondofyou,andsoIamgoingtospeaktoyouopenly,"hedecidedatlast,
thrustinghishandsintohispockets."Idealplainlywithcertaindelicatequestions,and
sayexactlywhatIthink,andIcannotenduresocalledhiddenthoughts.Iwillspeak
plainly:youaretheonlymantowhomIshouldnotbeafraidtomarrymydaughter.You
areaclevermanwithagoodheart,andwouldnotletmybelovedworkgotoruinand
thechiefreasonisthatIloveyouasason,andIamproudofyou.IfTanyaandyoucould
getuparomancesomehow,thenwell!Ishouldbeverygladandevenhappy.Itellyou
thisplainly,withoutmincingmatters,likean honestman."
Kovrinlaughed.YegorSemyonitchopenedthedoortogoout,andstoodinthedoorway.
"IfTanyaandyouhadason,Iwouldmakeahorticulturistofhim,"hesaid,aftera
moment'sthought."However,thisisidledreaming.Goodnight."
Leftalone,Kovrinsettledhimselfmorecomfortablyonthesofaandtookupthearticles.
Thetitleofonewas"OnIntercropping"ofanother,"AfewWordsontheRemarksof
MonsieurZ.concerningtheTrenchingoftheSoilforaNewGarden"athird,
"Additional MatterconcerningGraftingwithaDormantBud"andtheywereallofthe
samesort.Butwhatarestless,jerkytone!Whatnervous,almosthystericalpassion!Here

wasanarticle,onewouldhavethought,withmostpeaceableandimpersonalcontents:
thesubjectofitwastheRussianAntonovskyApple.ButYegorSemyonitchbeganitwith
"Audiaturalterapars,"andfinisheditwith"Sapientisat"andbetweenthesetwo
quotationsaperfecttorrentofvenomousphrasesdirected"atthelearnedignoranceofour
recognisedhorticulturalauthorities,whoobserveNaturefromtheheightoftheir
universitychairs,"oratMonsieurGaucher,"whosesuccesshasbeentheworkofthe
vulgarandthedilettanti.""Andthenfollowedaninappropriate,affected,andinsincere
regretthatpeasantswhostolefruitandbrokethebranchescouldnotnowadaysbe
flogged.
"Itisbeautiful,charming,healthywork,buteveninthisthereisstrifeandpassion,"
thoughtKovrin,"Isupposethateverywhereandinallcareersmenofideasarenervous,
andmarkedbyexaggeratedsensitiveness.Mostlikelyitmustbeso."
HethoughtofTanya,whowassopleasedwithYegorSemyonitch'sarticles.Small,pale,
andsothinthathershoulderbladesstuckout,hereyes,wideandopen,darkand
intelligent,hadanintentgaze,asthoughlookingforsomething.Shewalkedlikeher
fatherwithalittlehurriedstep.Shetalkedagreatdealandwasfondofarguing,
accompanyingeveryphrase,howeverinsignificant,withexpressivemimicryand
gesticulation.Nodoubtshewasnervousintheextreme.
Kovrinwentonreadingthearticles,butheunderstoodnothingofthem,andflungthem
aside.Thesamepleasantexcitementwithwhichhehadearlierintheeveningdancedthe
mazurkaandlistenedtothemusicwasnowmasteringhimagainandrousingamultitude
ofthoughts.Hegotupandbeganwalkingabouttheroom,thinkingabouttheblack
monk.Itoccurredtohimthatifthisstrange,supernaturalmonkhadappearedtohim
only,thatmeantthathewasillandhadreachedthepointofhavinghallucinations.This
reflectionfrightenedhim,butnotforlong.
"ButIamallright,andIamdoingnoharmtoanyonesothereisnoharminmy
hallucinations,"hethoughtandhefelthappyagain.
Hesatdownonthesofaandclaspedhishandsroundhishead.Restrainingthe
unaccountablejoywhichfilledhiswholebeing,hethenpacedupanddownagain,and
satdowntohiswork.Butthethoughtthathereadinthebookdidnotsatisfyhim.He
wantedsomethinggigantic,unfathomable,stupendous.Towardsmorningheundressed
andreluctantlywenttobed:heoughttosleep.
WhenheheardthefootstepsofYegorSemyonitchgoingoutintothegarden,Kovrinrang
thebellandaskedthefootmantobringhimsomewine.Hedrankseveralglassesof
Lafitte,thenwrappedhimselfup,headandallhisconsciousnessgrewcloudedandhe
fellasleep.

IV
YegorSemyonitchandTanyaoftenquarrelledandsaidnastythingstoeachother.
Theyquarrelledaboutsomethingthatmorning.Tanyaburstoutcryingandwenttoher
room.Shewouldnotcomedowntodinnernortotea.AtfirstYegorSemyonitchwent
aboutlookingsulkyanddignified,asthoughtogiveeveryonetounderstandthatforhim
theclaimsofjusticeandgoodorderweremoreimportantthananythingelseintheworld
buthecouldnotkeepitupforlong,andsoonsankintodepression.Hewalkedaboutthe
parkdejectedly,continuallysighing:"Oh,myGod!MyGod!"andatdinnerdidnoteata
morsel.Atlast,guiltyandconsciencestricken,heknockedatthelockeddoorandcalled
timidly:
"Tanya!Tanya!"
Andfrombehindthedoorcameafaintvoice,weakwithcryingbutstilldetermined:
"Leavemealone,ifyouplease."
Thedepressionofthemasterandmistresswasreflectedinthewholehousehold,evenin
thelabourersworkinginthegarden.Kovrinwasabsorbedinhisinterestingwork,butat
lasthe,too,feltdrearyanduncomfortable.Todissipatethegeneralillhumourinsome
way,hemadeuphismindtointervene,andtowardseveningheknockedatTanya'sdoor.
Hewasadmitted.
"Fie,fie,forshame!"hebeganplayfully,lookingwithsurpriseatTanya'stearstained,
woebegoneface,flushedinpatcheswithcrying."Isitreallysoserious?Fie,fie!"
"Butifyouknewhowhetorturesme!"shesaid,andfloodsofscaldingtearsstreamed
fromherbigeyes."Hetormentsmetodeath,"shewenton,wringingherhands."Isaid
nothingtohim...nothing...Ionlysaidthattherewasnoneedtokeep...toomany
labourers...ifwecouldhirethembythedaywhenwewantedthem.Youknow...you
knowthelabourershavebeendoingnothingforawholeweek....I...I...onlysaid
that,andheshoutedand...said...alotofhorribleinsultingthingstome.Whatfor?"
"There,there,"saidKovrin,smoothingherhair."You'vequarrelledwitheachother,
you'vecried,andthat'senough.Youmustnotbeangryforlongthat'swrong...allthe
moreashelovesyoubeyondeverything."
"Hehas...hasspoiledmywholelife,"Tanyawenton,sobbing."Ihearnothingbut
abuseand...insults.HethinksIamofnouseinthehouse.Well!Heisright.Ishallgo
awaytomorrowIshallbecomeatelegraphclerk....Idon'tcare...."
"Come,come,come....Youmustn'tcry,Tanya.Youmustn't,dear....Youareboth
hottemperedandirritable,andyouarebothtoblame.ComealongIwillreconcileyou."

Kovrintalkedaffectionatelyandpersuasively,whileshewentoncrying,twitchingher
shouldersandwringingherhands,asthoughsometerriblemisfortunehadreallybefallen
her.Hefeltallthesorrierforherbecausehergriefwasnotaseriousone,yetshesuffered
extremely.Whattrivialitieswereenoughtomakethislittlecreaturemiserableforawhole
day,perhapsforherwholelife!ComfortingTanya,Kovrinthoughtthat,apartfromthis
girlandherfather,hemighthunttheworldoverandwouldnotfindpeoplewhowould
lovehimasoneofthemselves,asoneoftheirkindred.Ifithadnotbeenforthosetwohe
mightverylikely,havinglosthisfatherandmotherinearlychildhood,nevertotheday
ofhisdeathhaveknownwhatwasmeantbygenuineaffectionandthatnave,uncritical
lovewhichisonlylavishedonveryclosebloodrelationsandhefeltthatthenervesof
thisweeping,shakinggirlrespondedtohishalfsick,overstrainednerveslikeirontoa
magnet.Henevercouldhavelovedahealthy,strong,rosycheekedwoman,butpale,
weak,unhappyTanyaattractedhim.
Andhelikedstrokingherhairandhershoulders,pressingherhandandwipingawayher
tears....Atlastsheleftoffcrying.Shewentonforalongtimecomplainingofherfather
andherhard,insufferablelifeinthathouse,entreatingKovrintoputhimselfinherplace
then shebegan,littlebylittle,smiling,andsighingthatGodhadgivenhersuchabad
temper.Atlast,laughingaloud,shecalledherselfafool,andranoutoftheroom.
WhenalittlelaterKovrinwentintothegarden,YegorSemyonitchandTanyawere
walkingsidebysidealonganavenueasthoughnothinghadhappened,andbothwere
eatingryebreadwithsaltonit,asbothwerehungry.

V
Gladthathehadbeensosuccessfulinthepartofpeacemaker,Kovrinwentintothepark.
Sittingonagardenseat,thinking,heheardtherattleofacarriageandafemininelaugh
visitorswerearriving.Whentheshadesofeveningbeganfallingonthegarden,the
soundsoftheviolinandsingingvoicesreachedhimindistinctly,andthatremindedhim
oftheblackmonk.Where,inwhatlandorinwhatplanet,wasthatopticalabsurdity
movingnow?
Hardlyhadherecalledthelegendandpicturedinhisimaginationthedarkapparitionhe
hadseenintheryefield,when,frombehindapinetreeexactlyopposite,therecameout
noiselessly,withouttheslightestrustle,amanofmediumheightwithuncoveredgrey
head,allinblack,andbarefootedlikeabeggar,andhisblackeyebrowsstoodout
conspicuouslyonhispale,deathlikeface.Noddinghisheadgraciously,thisbeggaror
pilgrimcamenoiselesslytotheseatandsatdown,andKovrinrecognisedhimasthe
blackmonk.
Foraminutetheylookedatoneanother,Kovrinwithamazement,andthemonkwith
friendliness,and,justasbefore,alittleslyness,asthoughhewerethinkingsomethingto
himself.
"Butyouareamirage,"saidKovrin."Whyareyouhereandsittingstill?Thatdoesnotfit
inwiththelegend."
"Thatdoesnotmatter,"themonkansweredinalowvoice,notimmediatelyturninghis
facetowardshim."Thelegend,themirage,andIarealltheproductsofyourexcited
imagination.Iamaphantom."
"Thenyoudon'texist?"saidKovrin.
"Youcanthinkasyoulike,"saidthemonk,withafaintsmile."Iexistinyour
imagination,andyourimaginationispartofnature,soIexistinnature."
"Youhaveaveryold,wise,andextremelyexpressiveface,asthoughyoureallyhad
livedmorethanathousandyears,"saidKovrin."Ididnotknowthatmyimaginationwas
capableofcreatingsuchphenomena.Butwhydoyoulookatmewithsuchenthusiasm?
Doyoulikeme?"
"Yes,youareoneofthosefewwhoarejustlycalledthechosenofGod.Youdothe
serviceofeternaltruth.Yourthoughts,yourdesigns,themarvellousstudiesyouare
engagedin,andallyourlife,beartheDivine,theheavenlystamp,seeingthattheyare
consecratedtotherationalandthebeautifulthatis,towhatiseternal."
"Yousaid'eternaltruth.'...Butiseternaltruthofusetomanandwithinhisreach,if
thereisnoeternallife?"

"Thereiseternallife,"saidthemonk.
"Doyoubelieveintheimmortalityofman?"
"Yes,ofcourse.Agrand,brilliantfutureisinstoreforyoumen.Andthemorethereare
likeyouonearth,thesoonerwillthisfutureberealised.Withoutyouwhoservethe
higherprincipleandliveinfullunderstandingandfreedom,mankindwouldbeoflittle
accountdevelopinginanaturalway,itwouldhavetowaitalongtimefortheendofits
earthlyhistory.Youwillleaditsomethousandsofyearsearlierintothekingdomof
eternaltruthandthereinliesyoursupremeservice.Youaretheincarnationofthe
blessingofGod,whichrestsuponmen."
"Andwhatistheobjectofeternallife?"askedKovrin.
"Asofalllifeenjoyment.Trueenjoymentliesinknowledge,andeternallifeprovides
innumerableandinexhaustiblesourcesofknowledge,andinthatsenseithasbeensaid:
'InMyFather'shousetherearemanymansions.'"
"Ifonlyyouknewhowpleasantitistohearyou!"saidKovrin,rubbinghishandswith
satisfaction.
"Iamveryglad."
"ButIknowthatwhenyougoawayIshallbeworriedbythequestionofyourreality.
Youareaphantom,anhallucination.SoIammentallyderanged,notnormal?"
"Whatifyouare?Whytroubleyourself?Youareillbecauseyouhaveoverworkedand
exhaustedyourself,andthatmeansthatyouhavesacrificedyourhealthtotheidea,and
thetimeisnearathandwhenyouwillgiveuplifeitselftoit.Whatcouldbebetter?That
isthegoaltowardswhichalldivinelyendowed,noblenaturesstrive."
"IfIknowIammentallyaffected,canItrustmyself?"
"Andareyousurethatthemenofgenius,whomallmentrust,didnotseephantoms,too?
Thelearnedsaynowthatgeniusisalliedtomadness.Myfriend,healthyandnormal
peopleareonlythecommonherd.Reflectionsupontheneurastheniaoftheage,nervous
exhaustionanddegeneracy,etcetera,canonlyseriouslyagitatethosewhoplacethe
objectoflifeinthepresentthatis,thecommonherd."
"TheRomansusedtosay:_Menssanaincorporesano._"
"NoteverythingtheGreeksandtheRomanssaidistrue.Exaltation,enthusiasm,ecstasy
allthatdistinguishesprophets,poets,martyrsfortheidea,fromthecommonfolkis
repellenttotheanimalsideofmanthatis,hisphysical health.Irepeat,ifyouwanttobe
healthyandnormal,gotothecommonherd."

"Strangethatyourepeatwhatoftencomesintomymind,"saidKovrin."Itisasthough
youhadseenandoverheardmysecretthoughts.Butdon'tletustalkaboutme.Whatdo
youmeanby'eternaltruth'?"
Themonkdidnotanswer.Kovrinlookedathimandcouldnotdistinguishhisface.His
featuresgrewblurredandmisty.Thenthemonk'sheadandarmsdisappearedhisbody
seemedmergedintotheseatandtheeveningtwilight,andhevanishedaltogether.
"Thehallucinationisover,"saidKovrinandhelaughed."It'sapity."
Hewentbacktothehouse,lightheartedandhappy.Thelittlethemonkhadsaidtohim
hadflattered,nothisvanity,buthiswholesoul,hiswholebeing.Tobeoneofthechosen,
toserveeternaltruth,tostandintheranksofthosewhocouldmakemankindworthyof
thekingdomofGodsomethousandsofyearssoonerthatis,tofreemenfromsome
thousandsofyearsofunnecessarystruggle,sin,andsufferingtosacrificetotheidea
everythingyouth,strength,healthtobereadytodieforthecommonwealwhatan
exalted,whatahappylot!Herecalledhispastpure,chaste,laboriousheremembered
whathehadlearnedhimselfandwhathehadtaughttoothers,anddecidedthattherewas
noexaggerationinthemonk'swords.
Tanyacametomeethiminthepark:shewasbynowwearingadifferentdress.
"Areyouhere?"shesaid."Andwehavebeenlookingandlookingforyou....Butwhat
isthematterwithyou?"sheaskedinwonder,glancingathisradiant,ecstaticfaceand
eyesfulloftears."Howstrangeyouare,Andryusha!"
"Iampleased,Tanya,"saidKovrin,layinghishandonhershoulders."Iammorethan
pleased:Iamhappy.Tanya,darlingTanya,youareanextraordinary,nicecreature.Dear
Tanya,Iamsoglad,Iamsoglad!"
Hekissedbothherhandsardently,andwenton:
"Ihavejustpassedthroughanexalted,wonderful,unearthlymoment.ButIcan'ttellyou
allaboutitoryouwouldcall memadandnotbelieveme.Letustalkofyou.Dear,
delightfulTanya!Iloveyou,andamusedtolovingyou.Tohaveyounearme,tomeet
youadozentimesaday,hasbecomeanecessityofmyexistenceIdon'tknowhowI
shallgetonwithoutyouwhenIgobackhome."
"Oh,"laughedTanya,"youwillforgetaboutusintwodays.Wearehumblepeopleand
youareagreatman."
"Noletustalkinearnest!"hesaid."Ishalltakeyouwithme,Tanya.Yes?Willyou
comewithme?Willyoubemine?"

"Come,"saidTanya,andtriedtolaughagain,butthelaughwouldnotcome,andpatches
ofcolourcameintoherface.
Shebeganbreathingquicklyandwalkedveryquickly,butnottothehouse,butfurther
intothepark.
"Iwasnotthinkingofit...Iwasnotthinkingofit,"shesaid,wringingherhandsin
despair.
AndKovrinfollowedherandwentontalking,withthesameradiant,enthusiasticface:
"Iwantalovethatwilldominatemealtogetherandthatloveonlyyou,Tanya,cangive
me.Iamhappy!Iamhappy!"
Shewasoverwhelmed,andhuddlingandshrinkingtogether,seemedtenyearsolderallat
once,whilehethoughtherbeautifulandexpressedhisrapturealoud:
"Howlovelysheis!"

VI
LearningfromKovrinthatnotonlyaromancehadbeengotup,butthattherewouldeven
beawedding,YegorSemyonitchspentalongtimeinpacingfromonecornerofthe
roomtotheother,tryingtoconcealhisagitation.Hishandsbegantrembling,hisneck
swelledandturnedpurple,heorderedhisracingdroshkyanddroveoffsomewhere.
Tanya,seeinghowhelashedthehorse,andseeinghowhepulledhiscapoverhisears,
understoodwhathewasfeeling,shutherselfupinherroom,andcriedthewholeday.
Inthehothousesthepeachesandplumswerealreadyripethepackingandsendingoff
ofthesetenderandfragilegoodstoMoscowtookagreatdealofcare,work,andtrouble.
Owingtothefactthatthesummerwasveryhotanddry,itwasnecessarytowaterevery
tree,andagreatdealoftimeandlabourwasspentondoingit.Numbersofcaterpillars
madetheirappearance,which,toKovrin'sdisgust,thelabourersandevenYegor
SemyonitchandTanyasquashedwiththeirfingers.Inspiteofallthat,theyhadalreadyto
bookautumnordersforfruitandtrees,andtocarryonagreatdealofcorrespondence.
Andattheverybusiesttime,whennooneseemedtohaveafreemoment,theworkofthe
fieldscarriedoffmorethanhalftheirlabourersfromthegarden.YegorSemyonitch,
sunburnt,exhausted,illhumoured,gallopedfromthefieldstothegardenandbackagain
criedthathewasbeingtorntopieces,andthatheshouldputabulletthroughhisbrains.
Thencamethefussandworryofthetrousseau,towhichthePesotskysattachedagood
dealofimportance.Everyone'sheadwasinawhirlfromthesnippingofthescissors,the
rattleofthesewingmachine,thesmellofhotirons,andthecapricesofthedressmaker,a
huffyandnervouslady.And,asillluckwouldhaveit,visitorscameeveryday,whohad
tobeentertained,fed,andevenputupforthenight.Butallthishardlabourpassed
unnoticedasthoughinafog.Tanyafeltthatloveandhappinesshadtakenherunawares,
thoughshehad,sinceshewasfourteen,forsomereasonbeenconvincedthatKovrin
wouldmarry herandnooneelse.Shewasbewildered,couldnotgraspit,couldnot
believeherself....Atoneminutesuchjoywouldswoopdownuponherthatshelonged
toflyawaytothecloudsandtherepraytoGod,atanothermomentshewouldremember
thatinAugustshewouldhavetopartfromherhomeandleaveherfatheror,goodness
knowswhy,theideawouldoccurtoherthatshewasworthlessinsignificantand
unworthyofagreatmanlikeKovrinandshewouldgotoherroom,lockherselfin,and
crybitterlyforseveralhours.Whentherewerevisitors,shewouldsuddenlyfancythat
Kovrinlookedextraordinarilyhandsome,andthatallthewomenwereinlovewithhim
andenvyingher,andhersoulwasfilledwithprideandrapture,asthoughshehad
vanquishedthewholeworldbuthehadonlytosmilepolitelyatanyyoungladyforher
tobetremblingwithjealousy,toretreattoherroomandtearsagain.Thesenew
sensationsmasteredhercompletelyshehelpedherfathermechanically,withoutnoticing
peaches,caterpillarsorlabourers,orhowrapidlythetimewaspassing.
ItwasalmostthesamewithYegorSemyonitch.Heworkedfrommorningtillnight,was
alwaysinahurry,wasirritable,andflewintorages,butallofthiswasinasortof
spellbounddream.Itseemedasthoughthereweretwomeninhim:onewasthereal

YegorSemyonitch,whowasmovedtoindignation,andclutchedhisheadindespair
whenheheardofsomeirregularityfromIvanKarlovitchthegardenerandanothernot
therealonewhoseemedasthoughhewerehalfdrunk,wouldinterruptabusiness
conversationathalfaword,touchthegardenerontheshoulder,andbeginmuttering:
"Saywhatyoulike,thereisagreatdealinblood.Hismotherwasawonderfulwoman,
mosthighmindedandintelligent.Itwasapleasuretolookathergood,candid,pureface
itwaslikethefaceofanangel.Shedrewsplendidly,wroteverses,spokefiveforeign
languages,sang....Poorthing!shediedofconsumption.TheKingdomofHeavenbe
hers."
TheunrealYegorSemyonitchsighed,andafterapausewenton:
"Whenhewasaboyandgrowingupinmyhouse,hehadthesameangelicface,good
andcandid.Thewayhelooksandtalksandmovesisassoftandelegantashismother's.
Andhisintellect!Wewerealwaysstruckwithhisintelligence.Tobesure,it'snotfor
nothinghe'saMasterofArts!It'snotfornothing!Andwaitabit,IvanKarlovitch,what
willhebeintenyears'time?Hewillbefaraboveus!"
ButatthispointtherealYegorSemyonitch,suddenlycomingtohimself,wouldmakea
terribleface,wouldclutchhisheadandcry:
"Thedevils!Theyhavespoilteverything!Theyhaveruinedeverything!Theyhavespoilt
everything!Thegarden'sdonefor,thegarden'sruined!"
Kovrin,meanwhile,workedwiththesameardourasbefore,anddidnotnoticethe
generalcommotion.Loveonlyaddedfueltotheflames.AftereverytalkwithTanyahe
wenttohisroom,happyandtriumphant,tookuphisbookorhismanuscriptwiththe
samepassionwithwhichhehadjustkissedTanyaandtoldherofhislove.Whatthe
blackmonkhadtoldhimofthechosenofGod,ofeternaltruth,ofthebrilliantfutureof
mankindandsoon,gavepeculiarandextraordinarysignificancetohiswork,andfilled
hissoulwithprideandtheconsciousnessofhisownexaltedconsequence.Onceortwice
aweek,intheparkorinthehouse,hemettheblackmonkandhadlongconversations
withhim,butthisdidnotalarmhim,but,onthecontrary,delightedhim,ashewasnow
firmlypersuadedthatsuchapparitionsonlyvisitedtheelectfewwhoriseupabovetheir
fellowsanddevotethemselvestotheserviceoftheidea.
Onedaythemonkappearedatdinnertimeandsatinthediningroomwindow.Kovrin
wasdelighted,andveryadroitlybeganaconversationwithYegorSemyonitchandTanya
ofwhatmightbeofinteresttothemonktheblackrobedvisitorlistenedandnoddedhis
headgraciously,andYegorSemyonitchandTanyalistened,too,andsmiledgaily
withoutsuspectingthatKovrinwasnottalkingtothembuttohishallucination.
ImperceptiblythefastoftheAssumptionwasapproaching,andsoonaftercamethe
wedding,which,atYegorSemyonitch'surgentdesire,wascelebratedwith"aflourish"
thatis,withsenselessfestivitiesthatlastedfortwowholedaysandnights.Three

thousandroubles'worthoffoodanddrinkwasconsumed,butthemusicofthewretched
hiredband,thenoisytoasts,thescurryingtoandfroofthefootmen,theuproarand
crowding,preventedthemfromappreciatingthetasteoftheexpensivewinesand
wonderfuldelicaciesorderedfromMoscow.

VII
OnelongwinternightKovrinwaslyinginbed,readingaFrenchnovel.PoorTanya,who
hadheadachesintheeveningsfromlivingintown,towhichshewasnotaccustomed,had
beenasleepalongwhile,and,fromtimetotime,articulatedsomeincoherentphrasein
herrestlessdreams.
Itstruckthreeo'clock.Kovrinputoutthelightandlaydowntosleep,layforalongtime
withhiseyesclosed,butcouldnotgettosleepbecause,ashefancied,theroomwasvery
hotandTanyatalkedinhersleep.Athalfpastfourhelightedthecandleagain,andthis
timehesawtheblackmonksittinginanarmchairnearthebed.
"Goodmorning,"saidthemonk,andafterabriefpauseheasked:"Whatareyouthinking
ofnow?"
"Offame,"answeredKovrin."IntheFrenchnovelIhavejustbeenreading,thereisa
descriptionofayoung_savant_,whodoessillythingsandpinesawaythroughworrying
aboutfame.Ican'tunderstandsuchanxiety."
"Becauseyouarewise.Yourattitudetowardsfameisoneofindifference,astowardsa
toywhichnolongerinterestsyou."
"Yes,thatistrue."
"Renowndoesnotallureyounow.Whatisthereflattering,amusing,oredifyingintheir
carvingyournameonatombstone,thentimerubbingofftheinscriptiontogetherwiththe
gilding?Moreover,happilytherearetoomanyofyoufortheweakmemoryofmankind
tobeabletoretainyournames."
"Ofcourse,"assentedKovrin."Besides,whyshouldtheyberemembered?Butletustalk
ofsomethingelse.Ofhappiness,forinstance.Whatishappiness?"
Whentheclockstruckfive,hewassittingonthebed,danglinghisfeettothecarpet,
talkingtothemonk:
"Inancienttimesahappymangrewatlastfrightenedofhishappinessitwassogreat!
andtopropitiatethegodshebroughtasasacrificehisfavouritering.Doyouknow,I,
too,likePolykrates,begintobeuneasyofmyhappiness.Itseemsstrangetomethatfrom
morningtonightIfeelnothingbutjoyitfillsmywholebeingandsmothersallother
feelings.Idon'tknowwhatsadness,grief,orboredomis.HereIamnotasleepIsuffer
fromsleeplessness,butIamnotdull.IsayitinearnestIbegintofeelperplexed."
"Butwhy?"themonkaskedinwonder."Isjoyasupernaturalfeeling?Oughtitnottobe
thenormalstateofman?Themorehighlyamanisdevelopedontheintellectualand
moralside,themoreindependentheis,themorepleasurelifegiveshim.Socrates,

Diogenes,andMarcusAurelius,werejoyful,notsorrowful.AndtheApostletellsus:
'Rejoicecontinually''Rejoiceandbeglad.'"
"Butwillthegodsbesuddenlywrathful?"Kovrinjestedandhelaughed."Iftheytake
frommecomfortandmakemegocoldandhungry,itwon'tbeverymuchtomytaste."
MeanwhileTanyawokeupandlookedwithamazementandhorroratherhusband.He
wastalking,addressingthearmchair,laughingandgesticulatinghiseyeswere
gleaming,andtherewassomethingstrangeinhislaugh.
"Andryusha,whomareyoutalkingto?"sheasked,clutchingthehandhestretchedoutto
themonk."Andryusha!Whom?"
"Oh!Whom?"saidKovrininconfusion."Why,tohim....Heissittinghere,"hesaid,
pointingtotheblackmonk.
"Thereisnoonehere...noone!Andryusha,youareill!"
Tanyaputherarmroundherhusbandandheldhimtight,asthoughprotectinghimfrom
theapparition,andputherhandoverhiseyes.
"Youareill!"shesobbed,tremblingallover."Forgiveme,myprecious,mydearone,but
Ihavenoticedforalongtimethatyourmindiscloudedinsomeway....Youare
mentallyill,Andryusha
...."
Hertremblinginfectedhim,too.Heglancedoncemoreatthearmchair,whichwasnow
empty,feltasuddenweaknessinhisarmsandlegs,wasfrightened,andbegandressing.
"It'snothing,Tanyait'snothing,"hemuttered,shivering."Ireallyamnotquitewell...
it'stimetoadmitthat."
"Ihavenoticeditforalongtime...andfatherhasnoticedit,"shesaid,tryingto
suppresshersobs."Youtalktoyourself,smilesomehowstrangely...andcan'tsleep.
Oh,myGod,myGod,saveus!"shesaidinterror."Butdon'tbefrightened,Andryusha
forGod'ssakedon'tbefrightened...."
Shebegandressing,too.Onlynow,lookingather,Kovrinrealisedthedangerofhis
positionrealisedthemeaningoftheblackmonkandhisconversationswithhim.Itwas
cleartohimnowthathewasmad.
Neitherofthemknewwhytheydressedandwentintothediningroom:sheinfrontand
hefollowingher.TheretheyfoundYegorSemyonitchstandinginhisdressinggownand
withacandleinhishand.Hewasstayingwiththem,andhadbeenawakenedbyTanya's
sobs.

"Don'tbefrightened,Andryusha,"Tanyawassaying,shiveringasthoughinafever
"don'tbefrightened....Father,itwillallpassover...itwillallpassover...."
Kovrinwastoomuchagitatedtospeak.Hewantedtosaytohisfatherinlawinaplayful
tone:"CongratulatemeitappearsIhavegoneoutofmymind"buthecouldonlymove
hislipsandsmilebitterly.
Atnineo'clockinthemorningtheyputonhisjacketandfurcoat,wrappedhimupina
shawl,andtookhiminacarriagetoadoctor.

VIII
Summerhadcomeagain,andthedoctoradvisedtheirgoingintothecountry.Kovrinhad
recoveredhehadleftoffseeingtheblackmonk,andhehadonlytogetuphisstrength.
Stayingathisfatherinlaw's,hedrankagreatdealofmilk,workedforonlytwohours
outofthetwentyfour,andneithersmokednordrankwine.
OntheeveningbeforeElijah'sDaytheyhadaneveningserviceinthehouse.Whenthe
deaconwashandingthepriestthecensertheimmenseoldroomsmeltlikeagraveyard,
andKovrinfeltbored.Hewentoutintothegarden.Withoutnoticingthegorgeous
flowers,hewalkedaboutthegarden,satdownonaseat,thenstrolledaboutthepark
reachingtheriver,hewentdownandthenstoodlostinthought,lookingatthewater.The
sullenpineswiththeirshaggyroots,whichhadseenhimayearbeforesoyoung,so
joyfulandconfident,werenotwhisperingnow,butstandingmuteandmotionless,as
thoughtheydidnotrecognisehim.And,indeed,hisheadwascloselycropped,his
beautifullonghairwasgone,hisstepwaslagging,hisfacewasfullerandpalerthanlast
summer.
Hecrossedbythefootbridgetotheotherside.Wheretheyearbeforetherehadbeenrye
theoatsstood,reaped,andlayinrows.Thesunhadsetandtherewasabroadstretchof
glowingredonthehorizon,asignofwindyweathernextday.Itwasstill.Lookinginthe
directionfromwhichtheyearbeforetheblackmonkhadfirstappeared,Kovrinstoodfor
twentyminutes,tilltheeveningglowhadbeguntofade....
When,listlessanddissatisfied,hereturnedhometheservicewasover.YegorSemyonitch
andTanyaweresittingonthestepsoftheverandah,drinkingtea.Theyweretalkingof
something,but,seeingKovrin,ceasedatonce,andheconcludedfromtheirfacesthat
theirtalkhadbeenabouthim.
"Ibelieveitistimeforyoutohaveyourmilk,"Tanyasaidtoherhusband.
"No,itisnottimeyet..."hesaid,sittingdownonthebottomstep."DrinkityourselfI
don'twantit."
Tanyaexchangedatroubledglancewithherfather,andsaidinaguiltyvoice:
"Younoticeyourself thatmilkdoesyougood."
"Yes,agreatdealofgood!"Kovrinlaughed."Icongratulateyou:Ihavegainedapound
inweightsinceFriday."Hepressedhisheadtightlyinhishandsandsaidmiserably:
"Why,whyhaveyoucuredme?Preparationsofbromide,idleness,hotbaths,supervision,
cowardlyconsternationateverymouthful,ateverystepallthiswillreducemeatlastto
idiocy.Iwentoutofmymind,IhadmegalomaniabutthenIwascheerful,confident,
andevenhappyIwasinterestingandoriginal.NowIhavebecomemoresensibleand
stolid,butIamjustlikeeveryoneelse:IammediocrityIamwearyoflife....Oh,how

cruellyyouhavetreatedme!...Isawhallucinations,butwhatharmdidthatdotoany
one?Iask,whatharmdidthatdoanyone?"
"Goodnessknowswhatyouaresaying!"sighedYegorSemyonitch."It'spositively
wearisometolistentoit."
"Thendon'tlisten."
Thepresenceofotherpeople,especiallyYegorSemyonitch,irritatedKovrinnowhe
answeredhimdrily,coldly,andevenrudely,neverlookedathimbutwithironyand
hatred,whileYegorSemyonitchwasovercomewithconfusionandclearedhisthroat
guiltily,thoughhewasnotconsciousofanyfaultinhimself.Atalosstounderstandwhy
theircharmingandaffectionaterelationshadchangedsoabruptly,Tanyahuddledupto
herfatherandlookedanxiouslyinhisfaceshewantedtounderstandandcouldnot
understand,andallthatwascleartoherwasthattheirrelationsweregrowingworseand
worseeveryday,thatoflateherfatherhadbeguntolookmucholder,andherhusband
hadgrownirritable,capricious,quarrelsomeanduninteresting.Shecouldnotlaughor
singatdinnersheatenothingdidnotsleepfornightstogether,expectingsomething
awful,andwassowornoutthatononeoccasionshelayinadeadfaintfromdinnertime
tillevening.Duringtheserviceshethoughtherfatherwascrying,andnowwhilethe
threeofthemweresittingtogetherontheterraceshemadeaneffortnottothinkofit.
"HowfortunateBuddha,Mahomed,andShakespearewerethattheirkindrelationsand
doctorsdidnotcurethemoftheirecstasyandtheirinspiration,"saidKovrin."If
Mahomedhadtakenbromideforhisnerves,hadworkedonlytwohoursoutofthe
twentyfour,andhaddrunkmilk,thatremarkablemanwouldhaveleftnomoretrace
afterhimthanhisdog.Doctorsandkindrelationswillsucceedinstupefyingmankind,in
makingmediocritypassforgeniusandinbringingcivilisationtoruin.Ifonlyyouknew,"
Kovrinsaidwithannoyance,"howgratefulIamtoyou."
Hefeltintenseirritation,andtoavoidsayingtoomuch,hegotupquicklyandwentinto
thehouse.Itwasstill,andthefragranceofthetobaccoplantandthemarvelofPeru
floatedinattheopenwindow.Themoonlightlayingreenpatchesonthefloorandonthe
pianointhebigdarkdiningroom.Kovrinrememberedtherapturesoftheprevious
summerwhentherehadbeenthesamescentofthemarvelofPeruandthemoonhad
shoneinatthewindow.Tobringbackthemoodoflastyearhewentquicklytohisstudy,
lightedastrongcigar,andtoldthefootmantobringhimsomewine.Butthecigarlefta
bitteranddisgustingtasteinhismouth,andthewinehadnotthesameflavourasithad
theyearbefore.Andsogreatistheeffectofgivingupahabit,thecigarandthetwogulps
ofwinemadehimgiddy,andbroughtonpalpitationsoftheheart,sothathewasobliged
totakebromide.
Beforegoingtobed,Tanyasaidtohim:
"Fatheradoresyou.Youarecrosswithhimaboutsomething,anditiskillinghim.Look
athimheisageing,notfromdaytoday,butfromhourtohour.Ientreatyou,

Andryusha,forGod'ssake,forthesakeofyourdeadfather,forthesakeofmypeaceof
mind,beaffectionatetohim."
"Ican't,Idon'twantto."
"Butwhy?"askedTanya,beginningtotrembleallover."Explainwhy."
"Becauseheisantipathetictome,that'sall,"saidKovrincarelesslyandheshruggedhis
shoulders."Butwewon'ttalkabouthim:heisyourfather."
"Ican'tunderstand,Ican't,"saidTanya,pressingherhandstohertemplesandstaringata
fixedpoint."Somethingincomprehensible,awful,isgoingoninthehouse.Youhave
changed,grownunlikeyourself....You,clever,extraordinarymanasyouare,are
irritatedovertrifles,meddleinpaltrynonsense....Suchtrivialthingsexciteyou,that
sometimesoneissimplyamazedandcan'tbelievethatitisyou.Come,come,don'tbe
angry,don'tbeangry,"shewenton,kissinghishands,frightenedof herownwords."You
areclever,kind,noble.Youwillbejusttofather.Heissogood."
"Heisnotgoodheisjustgoodnatured.Burlesqueolduncleslikeyourfather,withwell
fed,goodnaturedfaces,extraordinarilyhospitableandqueer,atonetimeusedtotouch
meandamusemeinnovelsandinfarcesandinlifenowIdislikethem.Theyareegoists
tothemarrowoftheirbones.Whatdisgustsmemostofallistheirbeingsowellfed,and
thatpurelybovine,purelyhoggishoptimismofafullstomach."
Tanyasatdownonthebedandlaidherheadonthepillow.
"Thisistorture,"shesaid,andfromhervoiceitwasevidentthatshewasutterly
exhausted,andthatitwashardforhertospeak."Notonemomentofpeacesincethe
winter....Why,it'sawful!MyGod!Iamwretched."
"Oh,ofcourse,IamHerod,andyouandyourfatheraretheinnocents.Ofcourse."
HisfaceseemedtoTanyauglyandunpleasant.Hatredandanironicalexpressiondidnot
suithim.And,indeed,shehadnoticedbeforethattherewassomethinglackinginhis
face,asthougheversincehishairhadbeencuthisfacehadchanged,too.Shewantedto
saysomethingwoundingtohim,butimmediatelyshecaughtherselfinthisantagonistic
feeling,shewasfrightenedandwentoutof thebedroom.

IX
KovrinreceivedaprofessorshipattheUniversity.Theinauguraladdresswasfixedfor
thesecondofDecember,andanoticetothateffectwashungupinthecorridoratthe
University.Butonthedayappointedheinformedthestudents'inspector,bytelegram,
thathewaspreventedbyillnessfromgivingthelecture.
Hehadhmorrhagefromthethroat.Hewasoftenspittingblood,butithappenedtwoor
threetimesamonththattherewasaconsiderablelossofblood,andthenhegrew
extremelyweakandsankintoadrowsycondition.Thisillnessdidnotparticularly
frightenhim,asheknewthathismotherhadlivedfortenyearsorlongersufferingfrom
thesamedisease,andthedoctorsassuredhimthattherewasnodanger,andhadonly
advisedhimtoavoidexcitement,toleadaregularlife,andtospeakaslittleaspossible.
InJanuaryagainhislecturedidnottakeplaceowingtothesamereason,andinFebruary
itwastoolatetobeginthecourse.Ithadtobepostponedtothefollowingyear.
BynowhewaslivingnotwithTanya,butwithanotherwoman,whowastwoyearsolder
thanhewas,andwholookedafterhimasthoughhewereababy.Hewasinacalmand
tranquilstateofmindhereadilygaveintoher,andwhenVarvaraNikolaevnathatwas
thenameofhisfrienddecidedtotakehimtotheCrimea,heagreed,thoughhehada
presentimentthatnogoodwouldcomeofthetrip.
TheyreachedSevastopolintheeveningandstoppedatanhoteltorestandgoonthenext
daytoYalta.Theywerebothexhaustedbythejourney.VarvaraNikolaevnahadsome
tea,wenttobedandwassoonasleep.ButKovrindidnotgotobed.Anhourbefore
startingforthestation,hehadreceivedaletterfromTanya,andhadnotbroughthimself
toopenit,andnowitwaslyinginhiscoatpocket,andthethoughtofitexcitedhim
disagreeably.Atthebottomofhishearthegenuinelyconsiderednowthathismarriageto
Tanyahadbeenamistake.Hewasgladthattheirseparationwasfinal,andthethoughtof
thatwomanwhointheendhadturnedintoalivingrelic,stillwalkingaboutthough
everythingseemeddeadinherexceptherbig,staring,intelligenteyesthethoughtofher
rousedinhimnothingbutpityanddisgustwithhimself.Thehandwritingontheenvelope
remindedhimhowcruelandunjusthehadbeentwoyearsbefore,howhehadworkedoff
hisangerathisspiritualemptiness,hisboredom,hisloneliness,andhisdissatisfaction
withlifebyrevenginghimselfonpeopleinnowaytoblame.Heremembered,also,how
hehadtornuphisdissertationandallthearticleshehadwrittenduringhisillness,and
howhehadthrownthemoutofwindow,andthebitsofpaperhadflutteredinthewind
andcaughtonthetreesandflowers.Ineverylineofthemhesawstrange,utterly
groundlesspretension,shallowdefiance,arrogance,megalomaniaandtheymadehim
feelasthoughhewerereadingadescriptionofhisvices.Butwhenthelastmanuscript
hadbeentornupandsentflyingoutofwindow,hefelt,forsomereason,suddenlybitter
andangryhewenttohiswifeandsaidagreatmanyunpleasantthingstoher.MyGod,
howhehadtormentedher!Oneday,wantingtocauseherpain,hetoldherthatherfather
hadplayedaveryunattractivepartintheirromance,thathehadaskedhimtomarryher.

YegorSemyonitchaccidentallyoverheardthis,ranintotheroom,and,inhisdespair,
couldnotutteraword,couldonlystampandmakeastrange,bellowingsoundasthough
hehadlostthepowerofspeech,andTanya,lookingatherfather,hadutteredaheart
rendingshriekandhadfallenintoaswoon.Itwashideous.
Allthiscamebackintohismemoryashelookedatthefamiliarwriting.Kovrinwentout
ontothebalconyitwasstillwarmweatherandtherewasasmellofthesea.The
wonderfulbayreflectedthemoonshineandthelights,andwasofacolourforwhichit
wasdifficulttofindaname.Itwasasoftandtenderblendingofdarkblueandgreenin
placesthewaterwaslikebluevitriol,andinplacesitseemedasthoughthemoonlight
wereliquefiedandfillingthebayinsteadofwater.Andwhatharmonyofcolours,what
anatmosphereofpeace,calm,andsublimity!
Inthelowerstoreyunderthebalconythewindowswereprobablyopen,forwomen's
voicesandlaughtercouldbehearddistinctly.Apparentlytherewasaneveningparty.
Kovrinmadeaneffort,toreopentheenvelope,and,goingbackintohisroom,read:
"Myfatherisjustdead.Iowethattoyou,foryouhavekilledhim.Ourgardenisbeing
ruinedstrangersaremanagingitalready thatis,theverythingishappeningthatpoor
fatherdreaded.That,too,Iowetoyou.Ihateyouwithmywholesoul,andIhopeyou
maysoonperish.Oh,howwretchedIam!Insufferableanguishisburningmysoul....
My cursesonyou.Itookyouforanextraordinaryman,ageniusIlovedyou,andyou
haveturnedoutamadman...."
Kovrincouldreadnomore,hetoreuptheletterandthrewitaway.Hewasovercomeby
anuneasinessthatwasakintoterror.VarvaraNikolaevnawasasleepbehindthescreen,
andhecouldhearherbreathing.Fromthelowerstoreycamethesoundsoflaughterand
women'svoices,buthefeltasthoughinthewholehoteltherewerenolivingsoulbut
him.BecauseTanya,unhappy,brokenbysorrow,hadcursedhiminherletterandhoped
forhisperdition,hefelteerieandkeptglancinghurriedlyatthedoor,asthoughhewere
afraidthattheuncomprehendedforcewhichtwoyearsbeforehadwroughtsuchhavocin
hislifeandinthelifeofthosenearhimmightcomeintotheroomandmasterhimonce
more.
Heknewbyexperiencethatwhenhisnerveswereoutofhandthebestthingforhimtodo
wastowork.Hemustsitdowntothetableandforcehimself,atallcosts,toconcentrate
hismindonsomeonethought.Hetookfromhisredportfolioamanuscriptcontaininga
sketchofasmallworkofthenatureofacompilation,whichhehadplannedincasehe
shouldfinditdullintheCrimeawithoutwork.Hesatdowntothetableandbegan
workingatthisplan,anditseemedtohimthathiscalm,peaceful,indifferentmoodwas
comingback.Themanuscriptwiththesketchevenledhimtomeditationonthevanityof
theworld.Hethoughthowmuchlifeexactsfortheworthlessorverycommonplace
blessingsitcangiveaman.Forinstance,togain,beforeforty,auniversitychair,tobean
ordinaryprofessor,toexpoundordinaryandsecondhandthoughtsindull,heavy,insipid
languageinfact,togainthepositionofamediocrelearnedman,he,Kovrin,hadhadto

studyforfifteenyears,toworkdayandnight,toendureaterriblementalillness,to
experienceanunhappymarriage,andtodoagreatnumberofstupidandunjustthings
whichitwouldhavebeenpleasantnottoremember.Kovrinrecognisedclearly,now,that
hewasamediocrity,andreadilyresignedhimselftoit,asheconsideredthateveryman
oughttobesatisfiedwithwhatheis.
Theplanofthevolumewouldhavesoothedhimcompletely,butthetornlettershowed
whiteonthefloorandpreventedhimfromconcentratinghisattention.Hegotupfromthe
table,pickedupthepiecesoftheletterandthrewthemoutofwindow,buttherewasa
lightwindblowingfromthesea,andthebitsofpaperwerescatteredonthewindowsill.
Againhewasovercomebyuneasinessakintoterror,andhefeltasthoughinthewhole
hoteltherewerenolivingsoulbuthimself....Hewentoutonthebalcony.Thebay,like
alivingthing,lookedathimwithitsmultitudeoflightblue,darkblue,turquoiseand
fieryeyes,andseemedbeckoningtohim.Anditreallywashotandoppressive,andit
wouldnothavebeenamisstohaveabathe.
Suddenlyinthelowerstoreyunderthebalconyaviolinbeganplaying,andtwosoft
femininevoicesbegansinging.Itwassomethingfamiliar.Thesongwasaboutamaiden,
fullofsickfancies,whoheardonenightinhergardenmysterioussounds,sostrangeand
lovelythatshewasobligedtorecognisethemasaholyharmonywhichisunintelligible
tousmortals,andsofliesbacktoheaven ....Kovrincaughthisbreathandtherewasa
pangofsadnessathisheart,andathrillofthesweet,exquisitedelighthehadsolong
forgottenbegantostirinhisbreast.
Atallblackcolumn,likeawhirlwindorawaterspout,appearedonthefurthersideofthe
bay.Itmovedwithfearfulrapidityacrossthebay,towardsthehotel,growingsmallerand
darkerasitcame,andKovrinonlyjusthadtimetogetoutofthewaytoletitpass....
Themonkwithbaregreyhead,blackeyebrows,barefoot,hisarmscrossedoverhis
breast,floatedbyhim,andstoodstillinthemiddleoftheroom.
"Whydidyounotbelieveme?"heaskedreproachfully,lookingaffectionatelyatKovrin.
"Ifyouhadbelievedmethen,thatyouwereagenius,youwouldnothavespentthesetwo
yearssogloomilyandsowretchedly."
KovrinalreadybelievedthathewasoneofGod'schosenandageniushevividlyrecalled
hisconversationswiththemonkinthepastandtriedtospeak,butthebloodflowedfrom
histhroatontohisbreast,andnotknowingwhathewasdoing,hepassedhishandsover
hisbreast,andhiscuffsweresoakedwithblood.HetriedtocallVarvaraNikolaevna,
whowasasleepbehindthescreenhemadeaneffortandsaid:
"Tanya!"
Hefellonthefloor,andproppinghimselfonhisarms,calledagain:
"Tanya!"

HecalledTanya,calledtothegreatgardenwiththegorgeousflowerssprinkledwithdew,
calledtothepark,thepineswiththeirshaggyroots,theryefield,hismarvellouslearning,
hisyouth,courage,joycalledtolife,whichwassolovely.Hesawonthefloornearhis
faceagreatpoolofblood,andwastooweaktoutteraword,butanunspeakable,infinite
happinessfloodedhiswholebeing.Below,underthebalcony,theywereplayingthe
serenade,andtheblackmonkwhisperedtohimthathewasagenius,andthathewas
dyingonlybecausehisfrailhumanbodyhadlostitsbalanceandcouldnolongerserveas
themortalgarbofgenius.
WhenVarvaraNikolaevnawokeupandcameoutfrombehindthescreen,Kovrinwas
dead,andablissfulsmilewassetuponhisface.

VOLODYA
ATfiveo'clockoneSundayafternooninsummer,Volodya,aplain,shy,sicklylooking
ladofseventeen,wassittinginthearbouroftheShumihins'countryvilla,feelingdreary.
Hisdespondentthoughtflowedinthreedirections.Inthefirstplace,hehadnextday,
Monday,anexaminationinmathematicsheknewthatifhedidnotgetthroughthe
writtenexaminationonthemorrow,hewouldbeexpelled,forhehadalreadybeentwo
yearsinthesixthformandhadtwoandthreequartermarksforalgebrainhisannual
report.Inthesecondplace,hispresenceatthevillaoftheShumihins,awealthyfamily
witharistocraticpretensions,wasacontinualsourceofmortificationtohis_amour
propre_.ItseemedtohimthatMadameShumihinlookeduponhimandhismamanas
poorrelationsanddependents,thattheylaughedathis_maman_anddidnotrespecther.
HehadononeoccasionaccidentlyoverheardMadameShumihin,intheverandah,telling
hercousinAnnaFyodorovnathathis_maman_stilltriedtolookyoungandgotherself
up,thatsheneverpaidherlossesatcards,andhadapartialityforotherpeople'sshoes
andtobacco.EverydayVolodyabesoughthis_maman_nottogototheShumihins',and
drewapictureofthehumiliatingpartsheplayedwiththesegentlefolk.Hetriedto
persuadeher,saidrudethings,butsheafrivolous,pamperedwoman,whohadrun
throughtwofortunes,herownandherhusband's,inhertime,andalwaysgravitated
towardsacquaintancesofhighrankdidnotunderstandhim,andtwiceaweekVolodya
hadtoaccompanyhertothevillahehated.
Inthethirdplace,theyouthcouldnotforoneinstantgetridofastrange,unpleasant
feelingwhichwasabsolutelynewtohim....Itseemedtohimthathewasinlovewith
AnnaFyodorovna,theShumihins'cousin,whowasstayingwiththem.Shewasa
vivacious,loudvoiced,laughterloving,healthy,andvigorousladyofthirty,withrosy
cheeks,plumpshoulders,aplumproundchinandacontinualsmileonherthinlips.She
wasneitheryoungnorbeautifulVolodyaknewthatperfectlywellbutforsomereason
hecouldnothelpthinkingofher,lookingatherwhilesheshruggedherplumpshoulders
andmovedherflatbackassheplayedcroquet,orafterprolongedlaughterandrunning
upanddownstairs,sankintoalowchair,and,halfclosinghereyesandgaspingfor
breath,pretendedthatshewasstiflingandcouldnotbreathe.Shewasmarried.Her
husband,astaidanddignifiedarchitect,cameonceaweektothevilla,sleptsoundly,and
returnedtotown.Volodya'sstrangefeelinghadbegunwithhisconceivingan
unaccountablehatredforthearchitect,andfeelingrelievedeverytimehewentbackto
town.
Now,sittinginthearbour,thinkingofhisexaminationnextday,andofhis_maman_,at
whomtheylaughed,hefeltanintensedesiretoseeNyuta(thatwaswhattheShumihins
calledAnnaFyodorovna),tohearherlaughterandtherustleofherdress....Thisdesire
wasnotlikethepure,poeticloveofwhichhereadinnovelsandaboutwhichhedreamed
everynightwhenhewenttobeditwasstrange,incomprehensiblehewasashamedofit,
andafraidofitasofsomethingverywrongandimpure,somethingwhichitwas
disagreeabletoconfesseventohimself.

"It'snotlove,"hesaidtohimself."Onecan'tfallinlovewithwomenofthirtywhoare
married.Itisonlyalittleintrigue....Yes,anintrigue...."
Ponderingonthe"intrigue,"hethoughtofhisuncontrollableshyness,hislackof
moustache,hisfreckles,hisnarroweyes,andputhimselfinhisimaginationsidebyside
withNyuta,andthejuxtapositionseemedtohimimpossiblethenhemadehasteto
imaginehimselfbold,handsome,witty,dressedinthelatestfashion.
Whenhisdreamswereattheirheight,ashesathuddledtogetherandlookingatthe
groundinadarkcornerofthearbour,heheardthesoundoflightfootsteps.Someone
wascomingslowlyalongtheavenue.Soonthestepsstoppedandsomethingwhite
gleamedintheentrance.
"Isthereanyonehere?"askedawoman'svoice.
Volodyarecognisedthevoice,andraisedhisheadinafright.
"Whoishere?"askedNyuta,goingintothearbour."Ah,itisyou,Volodya?Whatare
youdoinghere?Thinking?Andhowcanyougoonthinking,thinking,thinking?...
That'sthewaytogooutofyourmind!"
VolodyagotupandlookedinadazedwayatNyuta.Shehadonlyjustcomebackfrom
bathing.Overhershouldertherewashangingasheetandaroughtowel,andfromunder
thewhitesilkkerchiefonherheadhecouldseethewethairstickingtoherforehead.
Therewasthecooldampsmellofthebathhouseandofalmondsoapstillhangingabout
her.Shewasoutofbreathfromrunningquickly.Thetopbuttonofherblousewas
undone,sothattheboysawherthroatandbosom.
"Whydon'tyousaysomething?"saidNyuta,lookingVolodyaupanddown."It'snot
politetobesilentwhenaladytalkstoyou.Whataclumsysealyouarethough,Volodya!
Youalwayssit,sayingnothing,thinkinglikesomephilosopher.There'snotasparkoflife
orfireinyou!Youarereallyhorrid!...Atyourageyououghttobeliving,skipping,
andjumping,chattering,flirting,fallinginlove."
Volodyalookedatthesheetthatwasheldbyaplumpwhitehand,andthought....
"He'smute,"saidNyuta,withwonder"itisstrange,really....Listen!Beaman!Come,
youmightsmileatleast!Phew,thehorridphilosopher!"shelaughed."Butdoyouknow,
Volodya,whyyouaresuch aclumsyseal?Becauseyoudon'tdevoteyourselftothe
ladies.Whydon'tyou?It'struetherearenogirlshere,butthereisnothingtopreventyour
flirtingwiththemarriedladies!Whydon'tyouflirtwithme,forinstance?"
Volodyalistenedandscratchedhisforeheadinacuteandpainfulirresolution.
"It'sonlyveryproudpeoplewhoaresilentandlovesolitude,"Nyutawenton,pullinghis
handawayfromhisforehead."Youareproud,Volodya.Whydoyoulookatmelikethat

fromunderyourbrows?Lookmestraightintheface,ifyouplease!Yes,nowthen,
clumsyseal!"
Volodyamadeuphismindtospeak.Wantingtosmile,hetwitchedhislowerlip,blinked,
andagainputhishandtohisforehead.
"I...Iloveyou,"hesaid.
Nyutaraisedhereyebrowsinsurprise,andlaughed.
"WhatdoIhear?"shesang,asprimadonnassingattheoperawhentheyhearsomething
awful."What?Whatdidyousay?Sayitagain,sayitagain...."
"I...Iloveyou!"repeatedVolodya.
Andwithouthiswill'shavinganypartinhisaction,withoutreflectionorunderstanding,
hetookhalfasteptowardsNyutaandclutchedherbythearm.Everythingwasdark
beforehiseyes,andtearscameintothem.Thewholeworldwasturnedintoonebig,
roughtowelwhichsmeltof thebathhouse.
"Bravo,bravo!"heheardamerrylaugh."Whydon'tyouspeak?Iwantyoutospeak!
Well?"
Seeingthathewasnotpreventedfromholdingherarm,VolodyaglancedatNyuta's
laughingface,andclumsily,awkwardly,putbotharmsroundherwaist,hishands
meetingbehindherback.Heheldherroundthewaistwithbotharms,while,puttingher
handsuptoherhead,showingthedimplesinherelbows,shesetherhairstraightunder
thekerchiefandsaidinacalmvoice:
"Youmustbetactful,polite,charming,andyoucanonlybecomethatunderfeminine
influence.Butwhatawicked,angryfaceyouhave!Youmusttalk,laugh....Yes,
Volodya,don'tbesurlyyouareyoungandwillhaveplentyoftimeforphilosophising.
Come,letgoofmeIam going.Letgo."
Withouteffortshereleasedherwaist,and,hummingsomething,walkedoutofthe
arbour.Volodyawasleftalone.Hesmoothedhishair,smiled,andwalkedthreetimesto
andfroacrossthearbour,thenhesatdownonthebenchandsmiledagain.Hefelt
insufferablyashamed,somuchsothathewonderedthathumanshamecouldreachsucha
pitchofacutenessandintensity.Shamemadehimsmile,gesticulate,andwhispersome
disconnectedwords.
Hewasashamedthathehadbeentreatedlikeasmallboy,ashamedofhisshyness,and,
mostofall,thathehadhadtheaudacitytoputhisarmsroundthewaistofarespectable
marriedwoman,though,asitseemedtohim,hehadneitherthroughagenorbyexternal
quality,norbysocialpositionanyrighttodoso.

Hejumpedup,wentoutofthearbour,and,withoutlookinground,walkedintothe
recessesofthegardenfurthestfromthehouse.
"Ah!onlytogetawayfromhereassoonaspossible,"hethought,clutchinghishead.
"MyGod!assoonaspossible."
ThetrainbywhichVolodyawastogobackwithhis_maman_wasateightforty.There
werethreehoursbeforethetrainstarted,buthewouldwithpleasurehavegonetothe
stationatoncewithoutwaitingforhis_maman_.
Ateighto'clockhewentto thehouse.Hiswholefigurewasexpressiveofdetermination:
whatwouldbe,wouldbe!Hemadeuphismindtogoinboldly,tolookthemstraightin
theface,tospeakinaloudvoice,regardlessofeverything.
Hecrossedtheterrace,thebighallandthedrawingroom,andtherestoppedtotake
breath.Hecouldheartheminthediningroom,drinkingtea.MadameShumihin,
_maman_,andNyutaweretalkingandlaughingaboutsomething.
Volodyalistened.
"Iassureyou!"saidNyuta."Icouldnotbelievemyeyes!Whenhebegandeclaringhis
passionandjustimagine!puthisarmsroundmywaist,Ishouldnothaverecognised
him.Andyouknowhehasawaywithhim!Whenhetoldmehewasinlovewithme,
therewassomethingbrutalinhisface,likeaCircassian."
"Really!"gasped_maman_,goingoffintoapealoflaughter."Really!Howhedoes
remindmeofhisfather!"
Volodyaranbackanddashedoutintotheopenair.
"Howcouldtheytalkofitaloud!"hewonderedinagony,claspinghishandsandlooking
uptotheskyinhorror."Theytalkaloudincoldblood...and_maman_laughed!...
_Maman!_MyGod,whydidstThougivemesuchamother?Why?"
Buthehadtogotothehouse,comewhatmight.Hewalkedthreetimesupanddownthe
avenue,grewalittlecalmer,andwentintothehouse.
"Whydidn'tyoucomeinintimefortea?"MadameShumihinaskedsternly.
"Iamsorry,it's...it'stimeformetogo,"hemuttered,notraisinghiseyes."_Maman_,
it'seighto'clock!"
"Yougoalone,mydear,"saidhis_maman_languidly."IamstayingthenightwithLili.
Goodbye,mydear....Letmemakethesignofthecrossoveryou."
Shemadethesignofthecrossoverherson,andsaidinFrench,turningtoNyuta:

"He'sratherlikeLermontov...isn'the?"
Sayinggoodbyeafterafashion,withoutlookinganyoneintheface,Volodyawentout
ofthediningroom.Tenminuteslaterhewaswalkingalongtheroadtothestation,and
wasgladofit.Nowhefeltneitherfrightenednorashamedhebreathedfreelyandeasily.
Abouthalfamilefromthestation,hesatdownonastonebythesideoftheroad,and
gazedatthesun,whichwashalfhiddenbehindabarrow.Therewerelightsalreadyhere
andthereatthestation,andonegreenlightglimmereddimly,butthetrainwasnotyetin
sight.ItwaspleasanttoVolodyatositstillwithoutmoving,andtowatchtheevening
cominglittlebylittle.Thedarknessofthearbour,thefootsteps,thesmellofthebath
house,thelaughter,andthewaistalltheserosewithamazingvividnessbeforehis
imagination,andallthiswasnolongersoterribleandimportantasbefore.
"It'sofnoconsequence....Shedidnotpullherhandaway,andlaughedwhenIheldher
bythewaist,"hethought."Soshemusthavelikedit.Ifshehaddislikeditshewould
havebeenangry
...."
AndnowVolodyafeltsorrythathehadnothadmoreboldnessthereinthearbour.He
feltsorrythathewassostupidlygoingaway,andhewasbynowpersuadedthatifthe
samethinghappenedagainhewouldbebolderandlookatitmoresimply.
Anditwouldnotbedifficultfortheopportunitytooccuragain.Theyusedtostrollabout
foralongtimeaftersupperattheShumihins'.IfVolodyawentforawalkwithNyutain
thedarkgarden,therewouldbeanopportunity!
"Iwillgoback,"hethought,"andwillgobythemorningtraintomorrow....IwillsayI
havemissedthetrain."
Andheturnedback....MadameShumihin,_Maman_,Nyuta,andoneofthenieces
weresittingontheverandah,playing_vint_.WhenVolodyatoldthemtheliethathehad
missedthetrain,theywereuneasythathemightbelatefortheexaminationday,and
advisedhimtogetupearly.Allthewhiletheywereplayinghesatononeside,greedily
watchingNyutaandwaiting....Healreadyhadaplanpreparedinhismind:hewouldgo
uptoNyutainthedark,wouldtakeherbythehand,thenwouldembraceherthere
wouldbenoneedtosayanything,asbothofthemwouldunderstandwithoutwords.
Butaftersuppertheladiesdidnotgoforawalkinthegarden,butwentonplayingcards.
Theyplayedtilloneo'clockatnight,andthenbrokeuptogotobed.
"Howstupiditallis!"Volodyathoughtwithvexationashegotintobed."Butnever
mindI'llwaittilltomorrow.. .tomorrowinthearbour.Itdoesn'tmatter...."

Hedidnotattempttogotosleep,butsatinbed,hugginghiskneesandthinking.All
thoughtoftheexaminationwashatefultohim.Hehadalreadymadeuphismindthat
theywouldexpelhim,andthattherewasnothingterribleabouthisbeingexpelled.On
thecontrary,itwasagoodthingaverygoodthing,infact.Nextdayhewouldbeasfree
asabirdhewouldputonordinaryclothesinsteadofhisschooluniform,wouldsmoke
openly,comeouthere,andmakelovetoNyutawhenhelikedandhewouldnotbea
schoolboybut"ayoungman."Andasfortherestofit,whatiscalledacareer,afuture,
thatwasclearVolodyawouldgointothearmyorthetelegraphservice,orhewouldgo
intoachemist'sshopandworkhiswayuptillhewasadispenser....Therewerelotsof
callings.Anhourortwopassed,andhewasstillsittingandthinking....
Towardsthreeo'clock,whenitwasbeginningtogetlight,thedoorcreakedcautiously
andhis_maman_cameintotheroom.
"Aren'tyouasleep?"sheasked,yawning."GotosleepIhaveonlycomeinforaminute.
...Iamonlyfetchingthedrops...."
"Whatfor?"
"PoorLilihasgotspasmsagain.Gotosleep,mychild,yourexamination'stomorrow. ..
."
Shetookabottleofsomethingoutofthecupboard,wenttothewindow,readthelabel,
andwentaway.
"MaryaLeontyevna,thosearenotthedrops!"Volodyaheardawoman'svoice,aminute
later."That'sconvallaria,andLiliwantsmorphine.Isyoursonasleep?Askhimtolook
forit...."
ItwasNyuta'svoice.Volodyaturnedcold.Hehurriedlyputonhistrousers,flunghiscoat
overhisshoulders,andwenttothedoor.
"Doyouunderstand?Morphine,"Nyutaexplainedinawhisper."Theremustbealabelin
Latin.WakeVolodyahewillfindit."
_Maman_openedthedoorandVolodyacaughtsightofNyuta.Shewaswearingthe
sameloosewrapperinwhichshehadgonetobathe.Herhairhunglooseanddisordered
onhershoulders,herfacelookedsleepyanddarkinthehalflight....
"Why,Volodyaisnotasleep,"shesaid."Volodya,lookinthecupboardforthemorphine,
there'sadear!WhatanuisanceLiliis!Shehasalwayssomethingthematter."
_Maman_mutteredsomething,yawned,andwentaway.
"Lookforit,"saidNyuta."Whyareyoustandingstill?"

Volodyawenttothecupboard,kneltdown,andbeganlookingthroughthebottlesand
boxesofmedicine.Hishandsweretrembling,andhehadafeelinginhischestand
stomachasthoughcoldwaveswererunningalloverhisinside.Hefeltsuffocatedand
giddyfromthesmellofether,carbolicacid,andvariousdrugs,whichhequite
unnecessarilysnatchedupwithhistremblingfingersandspilledinsodoing.
"Ibelieve_maman_hasgone,"hethought."That'sagoodthing...agoodthing...."
"Willyoubequick?"saidNyuta,drawling.
"Inaminute....Here,Ibelievethisismorphine,"saidVolodya,readingononeofthe
labelstheword"morph...""Hereitis!"
Nyutawasstandinginthedoorwayinsuchawaythatonefootwasinhisroomandone
wasinthepassage.Shewastidyingherhair,whichwasdifficulttoputinorderbecause
itwassothickandlong,andlookedabsentmindedlyatVolodya.Inherloosewrap,with
hersleepyfaceandherhairdown,inthedimlightthatcameintothewhiteskynotyetlit
bythesun,sheseemedtoVolodyacaptivating,magnificent....Fascinated,tremblingall
over,andrememberingwithrelishhowhehadheldthatexquisitebodyinhisarmsinthe
arbour,hehandedherthebottleandsaid:
"Howwonderfulyouare!"
"What?"
Shecameintotheroom.
"What?"sheasked,smiling.
Hewassilentandlookedather,then,justasinthearbour,hetookherhand,andshe
lookedathimwithasmileandwaitedforwhatwouldhappennext.
"Iloveyou,"hewhispered.
Sheleftoffsmiling,thoughtaminute,andsaid:
"WaitalittleIthinksomebodyiscoming.Oh,theseschoolboys!"shesaidinan
undertone,goingtothedoorandpeepingoutintothepassage."No,thereisnoonetobe
seen...."
Shecameback.
ThenitseemedtoVolodyathattheroom,Nyuta,thesunriseandhimselfallmelted
togetherinonesensationofacute,extraordinary,incrediblebliss,forwhichonemight
giveupone'swholelifeandfaceeternaltorments....Buthalfaminutepassedandall

thatvanished.Volodyasawonlyafat,plainface,distortedbyanexpressionofrepulsion,
andhehimselfsuddenlyfeltaloathingforwhathadhappened.
"Imustgoaway,though,"saidNyuta,lookingatVolodyawithdisgust."Whata
wretched,ugly...fie,uglyduckling!"
Howunseemlyherlonghair,herloosewrap,hersteps,hervoiceseemedtoVolodya
now!...
"'Uglyduckling'..."hethoughtaftershehadgoneaway."Ireallyamugly...
everythingisugly."
Thesunwasrising,thebirdsweresingingloudlyhecouldhearthegardenerwalkingin
thegardenandthecreakingofhiswheelbarrow...andsoonafterwardsheheardthe
lowingofthecowsandthesoundsoftheshepherd'spipe.Thesunlightandthesounds
toldhimthatsomewhereinthisworldthereisapure,refined,poeticallife.Butwhere
wasit?Volodyahadneverheardawordofitfromhis_maman_oranyofthepeople
roundabouthim.
Whenthefootmancametowakehimforthemorningtrain,hepretendedtobeasleep....
"Botherit!Damnitall!"hethought.
Hegotupbetweentenandeleven.
Combinghishairbeforethelookingglass,andlookingathisuglyface,palefromhis
sleeplessnight,hethought:
"It'sperfectlytrue...anuglyduckling!"
When_maman_sawhimandwashorrifiedthathewasnotathisexamination,Volodya
said:
"Ioversleptmyself,_maman_....Butdon'tworry,Iwillgetamedicalcertificate."
MadameShumihinandNyutawakedupatoneo'clock.VolodyaheardMadame
Shumihinopenherwindowwithabang,heardNyutagooffintoapealoflaughterin
replytohercoarsevoice.Hesawthedooropenandastringofniecesandothertoadies
(amongthelatterwashis_maman_)fileintolunch,caughtaglimpseofNyuta'sfreshly
washedlaughingface,and,besideher,theblackbrowsandbeardofherhusbandthe
architect,whohadjustarrived.
NyutawaswearingaLittleRussiandresswhichdidnotsuitheratall,andmadeherlook
clumsythearchitectwasmakingdullandvulgarjokes.Therissolesservedatlunchhad
toomuchonioninthemsoitseemedtoVolodya.ItalsoseemedtohimthatNyuta
laughedloudlyonpurpose,andkeptglancinginhisdirectiontogivehimtounderstand

thatthememoryofthenightdidnottroubleherintheleast,andthatshewasnotawareof
thepresenceattableofthe"uglyduckling."
Atfouro'clockVolodyadrovetothestationwithhis_maman_.Foulmemories,the
sleeplessnight,theprospectof expulsionfromschool,thestingsofconscienceall
rousedinhimnowanoppressive,gloomyanger.Helookedat_maman_'ssharpprofile,
atherlittlenose,andattheraincoatwhichwasapresentfromNyuta,andmuttered:
"Whydoyoupowder?It'snotbecomingatyourage!Youmakeyourselfup,don'tpay
yourdebtsatcards,smokeotherpeople'stobacco....It'shateful!Idon'tloveyou...I
don'tloveyou!"
Hewasinsultingher,andshemovedherlittleeyesaboutinalarm,flungupherhands,
andwhisperedinhorror:
"Whatareyousaying,mydear!Goodgracious!thecoachmanwillhear!Bequietorthe
coachmanwillhear!Hecanoverheareverything."
"Idon'tloveyou...Idon'tloveyou!"hewentonbreathlessly."You'venosoulandno
morals....Don'tdaretowearthatraincoat!Doyouhear?OrelseIwilltearitintorags..
.."
"Controlyourself,mychild,"_maman_wept"thecoachmancanhear!"
"Andwhereismyfather'sfortune?Whereisyourmoney?Youhavewasteditall.Iam
notashamedofbeingpoor,butIamashamedofhavingsuchamother....Whenmy
schoolfellowsaskquestionsaboutyou,Ialwaysblush."
Inthetraintheyhadtopasstwostationsbeforetheyreachedthetown.Volodyaspentall
thetimeonthelittleplatformbetweentwocarriagesandshiveredallover.Hedidnot
wanttogointothecompartmentbecausetherethemotherhehatedwassitting.Hehated
himself,hatedtheticketcollectors,thesmokefromtheengine,thecoldtowhichhe
attributedhisshivering.Andtheheaviertheweightonhisheart,themorestronglyhefelt
thatsomewhereintheworld,amongsomepeople,therewasapure,honourable,warm,
refinedlife,fulloflove,affection,gaiety,andserenity....Hefeltthisandwasso
intenselymiserablethatoneofthepassengers,afterlookinginhisfaceattentively,
actuallyasked:
"Youhavethetoothache,Isuppose?"
Inthetown_maman_andVolodyalivedwithMaryaPetrovna,aladyofnoblerank,who
hadalargeflatandletroomstoboarders._Maman_hadtworooms,onewithwindows
andtwopicturesingoldframeshangingonthewalls,inwhichherbedstoodandin
whichshelived,andalittledarkroomopeningoutofitinwhichVolodyalived.Here
therewasasofaonwhichheslept,and,exceptthatsofa,therewasnootherfurniturethe
restoftheroomwasentirelyfilledupwithwickerbasketsfullofclothes,cardboardhat

boxes,andallsortsofrubbish,which_maman_preservedforsomereasonorother.
Volodyapreparedhislessonseitherinhismother'sroomorinthe"generalroom,"asthe
largeroominwhichtheboardersassembledatdinnertimeandintheeveningwascalled.
Onreachinghomehelaydownonhissofaandputthequiltoverhimtostophis
shivering.Thecardboardhatboxes,thewickerbaskets,andtheotherrubbish,reminded
himthathehadnotaroomofhisown,thathehadnorefugeinwhichhecouldgetaway
fromhismother,fromhervisitors,andfromthevoicesthatwerefloatingupfromthe
"generalroom."Thesatchelandthebookslyingaboutinthecornersremindedhimofthe
examinationhehadmissed....Forsomereasontherecameintohismind,quite
inappropriately,Mentone,wherehehadlivedwithhisfatherwhenhewassevenyears
oldhethoughtofBiarritzandtwolittleEnglishgirlswithwhomheranaboutonthe
sand....Hetriedtorecalltohismemorythecolourofthesky,thesea,theheightofthe
waves,andhismoodatthetime,buthecouldnotsucceed.TheEnglishgirlsflitted
beforehisimaginationasthoughtheywerelivingalltherestwasamedleyofimages
thatfloatedawayinconfusion....
"Noit'scoldhere,"thoughtVolodya.Hegotup,putonhisovercoat,andwentintothe
"generalroom."
Theretheyweredrinkingtea. Therewerethreepeopleatthesamovar:_maman_anold
ladywithtortoiseshellpincenez,whogavemusiclessonsandAvgustinMihalitch,an
elderlyandverystoutFrenchman,whowasemployedataperfumeryfactory.
"Ihavehadnodinnertoday,"said_maman_."Ioughttosendthemaidtobuysome
bread."
"Dunyasha!"shoutedtheFrenchman.
Itappearedthatthemaidhadbeensentoutsomewherebytheladyofthehouse.
"Oh,that'sofnoconsequence,"saidtheFrenchman,withabroadsmile."Iwillgofor
somebreadmyselfatonce.Oh,it'snothing."
Helaidhisstrong,pungentcigarinaconspicuousplace,putonhishatandwentout.
Afterhehadgoneaway_maman_begantellingthemusicteacherhowshehadbeen
stayingattheShumihins',andhowwarmlytheywelcomedher.
"LiliShumihinisarelationofmine,youknow,"shesaid."Herlatehusband,General
Shumihin,wasacousinofmyhusband.AndshewasaBaronessKolbbybirth...."
"_Maman_,that'sfalse!"saidVolodyairritably."Whytelllies?"
Heknewperfectlywellthatwhathismothersaidwastrueinwhatshewassayingabout
GeneralShumihinandaboutBaronessKolbtherewasnotawordoflying,but

neverthelesshefeltthatshewaslying.Therewasasuggestionoffalsehoodinher
mannerofspeaking,intheexpressionofherface,inhereyes,ineverything.
"Youarelying,"repeatedVolodyaandhebroughthisfistdownonthetablewithsuch
forcethatallthecrockeryshookand_maman_'steawasspiltover."Whydoyoutalk
aboutgeneralsandbaronesses?It'salllies!"
Themusicteacherwasdisconcerted,andcoughedintoherhandkerchief,affectingto
sneeze,and_maman_begantocry.
"WherecanIgo?"thoughtVolodya.
Hehadbeeninthestreetalreadyhewasashamedtogotohisschoolfellows.Again,
quiteincongruously,herememberedthetwolittleEnglishgirls....Hepacedupand
downthe"generalroom,"andwentintoAvgustinMihalitch'sroom.Heretherewasa
strongsmellofetherealoilsandglycerinesoap.Onthetable,inthewindow,andevenon
thechairs,therewereanumberofbottles,glasses,andwineglassescontainingfluidsof
variouscolours.Volodyatookupfromthetableanewspaper,openeditandreadthetitle
_Figaro_...Therewasastrongandpleasantscentaboutthepaper.Thenhetooka
revolverfromthetable....
"There,there!Don'ttakeanynoticeofit."Themusicteacherwascomforting_maman_
inthenextroom."Heisyoung!Youngpeopleofhisageneverrestrainthemselves.One
mustresignoneselftothat."
"No,YevgenyaAndreyevnahe'stoospoilt,"said_maman_inasingsongvoice."Hehas
nooneinauthorityoverhim,andIamweakandcandonothing.Oh,Iamunhappy!"
Volodyaputthemuzzleoftherevolvertohismouth,feltsomethinglikeatriggeror
spring,andpresseditwithhisfinger....Thenfeltsomethingelseprojecting,andonce
morepressedit.Takingthemuzzleoutofhismouth,hewipeditwiththelapelofhis
coat,lookedatthelock.Hehadneverinhislifetakenaweaponinhishandbefore....
"Ibelieveoneoughttoraisethis..."hereflected."Yes,itseemsso."
AvgustinMihalitchwentintothe"generalroom,"andwithalaughbegantellingthem
aboutsomething.Volodyaputthemuzzleinhismouthagain,presseditwithhisteeth,
andpressedsomethingwithhisfingers.Therewasasoundofashot....Somethinghit
Volodyainthebackofhisheadwithterribleviolence,andhefellonthetablewithhis
facedownwardsamongthebottlesandglasses.Thenhesawhisfather,asinMentone,in
atophatwithawideblackbandonit,wearingmourningforsomelady,suddenlyseize
himbybothhands,andtheyfellheadlongintoaverydeep,darkpit.
Theneverythingwasblurredandvanished.

ANANONYMOUSSTORY
I
THROUGHcauseswhichitisnotthetimetogointoindetail,Ihadtoentertheservice
ofaPetersburgofficialcalledOrlov,inthecapacityofafootman.Hewasaboutfiveand
thirty,andwascalledGeorgy*Ivanitch.
*Both_g's_hard,asin"Gorgon"_e_like_ai_in_rain_.
IenteredthisOrlov'sserviceonaccountofhisfather,aprominentpoliticalman,whomI
lookeduponasaseriousenemyofmycause.Ireckonedthat,livingwiththeson,I
shouldfromtheconversationsIshouldhear,andfromthelettersandpapersIshould
findonthetablelearneverydetailofthefather'splansandintentions.
Asaruleateleveno'clockinthemorningtheelectricbellranginmyfootman'squarters
toletmeknowthatmymasterwasawake.WhenIwentintothebedroomwithhis
polishedshoesandbrushedclothes,GeorgyIvanitchwouldbesittinginhisbedwitha
facethatlooked,notdrowsy,butratherexhaustedbysleep,andhewouldgazeoffinone
directionwithoutanysignofsatisfactionathavingwaked.Ihelpedhimtodress,andhe
letmedoitwithanairofreluctancewithoutspeakingornoticingmypresencethenwith
hisheadwetwithwashing,smellingoffreshscent,heusedtogointothediningroomto
drinkhiscoffee.Heusedtositat thetable,sippinghiscoffeeandglancingthroughthe
newspapers,whilethemaidPolyaandIstoodrespectfullyatthedoorgazingathim.Two
grownuppersonshadtostandwatchingwiththegravestattentionathirddrinkingcoffee
andmunchingrusks.Itwasprobablyludicrousandgrotesque,butIsawnothing
humiliatinginhavingtostandnearthedoor,thoughIwasquiteaswellbornandwell
educatedasOrlovhimself.
Iwasinthefirststageofconsumption,andwassufferingfromsomethingelse,possibly
evenmoreseriousthanconsumption.Idon'tknowwhetheritwastheeffectofmyillness
orofanincipientchangeinmyphilosophyoflifeofwhichIwasnotconsciousatthe
time,butIwas,daybyday,morepossessedbyapassionate,irritatinglongingfor
ordinaryeverydaylife.Iyearnedformentaltranquillity,health,freshair,goodfood.I
wasbecomingadreamer,and,likeadreamer,IdidnotknowexactlywhatIwanted.
SometimesIfeltinclinedtogointoamonastery,tosittherefordaystogetherbythe
windowandgazeatthetreesandthefieldssometimesIfanciedIwouldbuyfifteen
acresoflandandsettledownasacountrygentlemansometimesIinwardlyvowedto
takeupscienceandbecomeaprofessoratsomeprovincialuniversity.Iwasaretired
navylieutenantIdreamedofthesea,ofoursquadron,andofthecorvetteinwhichIhad
madethecruiseroundtheworld.Ilongedtoexperienceagaintheindescribablefeeling
when,walkinginthetropicalforestorlookingatthesunsetintheBayofBengal,oneis
thrilledwithecstasyandatthesametimehomesick.Idreamedofmountains,women,
music,and,withthecuriosityofachild,Ilookedintopeople'sfaces,listenedtotheir

voices.AndwhenIstoodatthedoorandwatchedOrlovsippinghiscoffee,Ifeltnota
footman,butamaninterestedineverythingintheworld,eveninOrlov.
InappearanceOrlovwasatypicalPetersburger,withnarrowshoulders,alongwaist,
sunkentemples,eyesofanindefinitecolour,andscanty,dingycolouredhair,beardand
moustaches.Hisfacehadastale,unpleasantlook,thoughitwasstudiouslycaredfor.It
wasparticularlyunpleasantwhenhewasasleeporlostinthought.Itisnotworthwhile
describingaquiteordinaryappearancebesides,PetersburgisnotSpain,andaman's
appearanceisnotofmuchconsequenceeveninloveaffairs,andisonlyofvaluetoa
handsomefootmanorcoachman.IhavespokenofOrlov'sfaceandhaironlybecause
therewassomethinginhisappearanceworthmentioning.WhenOrlovtookanewspaper
orbook,whateveritmightbe,ormetpeople,whoevertheybe,anironicalsmilebeganto
comeintohiseyes,andhiswholecountenanceassumedanexpressionoflightmockery
inwhichtherewasnomalice.Beforereadingorhearinganythinghealwayshadhisirony
inreadiness,asasavagehashisshield.Itwasanhabitualirony,likesomeoldliquor
brewedyearsago,andnowitcameintohisfaceprobablywithoutanyparticipationofhis
will,asitwerebyreflexaction.Butofthatlater.
Soonaftermiddayhetookhisportfolio,fullofpapers,anddrovetohisoffice.Hedined
awayfromhomeandreturnedaftereighto'clock.Iusedtolightthelampandcandlesin
hisstudy,andhewouldsitdowninalowchairwithhislegsstretchedoutonanother
chair,and,reclininginthatposition,wouldbeginreading.Almosteverydayhebrought
innewbookswithhimorreceivedparcelsofthemfromtheshops,andtherewereheaps
ofbooksinthreelanguages,tosaynothingofRussian,whichhehadreadandthrown
away,inthecornersofmyroomandundermybed.Hereadwithextraordinaryrapidity.
Theysay:"Tellmewhatyouread,andI'lltellyouwhoyouare."Thatmaybetrue,butit
wasabsolutelyimpossibletojudgeofOrlovbywhatheread.Itwasaregularhotchpotch.
Philosophy,Frenchnovels,politicaleconomy,finance,newpoets,andpublicationsofthe
firm_Posrednik_*andhereaditallwiththesamerapidityandwiththesameironical
expressioninhiseyes.
*I.e., Tchertkovandothers,publishersofTolstoy,whoissuedgoodliteraturefor
peasants'reading.
Afterteno'clockhecarefullydressed,oftenineveningdress,veryrarelyinhis_kammer
junker_'suniform,andwentout,returninginthemorning.
Ourrelationswerequietandpeaceful,andweneverhadanymisunderstanding.Asarule
hedidnotnoticemypresence,andwhenhetalkedtometherewasnoexpressionofirony
onhisfaceheevidentlydidnotlookuponmeasahumanbeing.
Ionlyoncesawhimangry.OnedayitwasaweekafterIhadenteredhisservicehe
camebackfromsomedinneratnineo'clockhisfacelookedillhumouredandexhausted.
WhenIfollowedhimintohisstudytolightthecandles,hesaidtome:
"There'sanastysmellintheflat."

"No,theairisfresh,"Ianswered.
"Itellyou,there'sabadsmell,"heansweredirritably.
"Iopenthemovablepaneseveryday."
"Don'targue,blockhead!"heshouted.
Iwasoffended,andwasonthepointofanswering,andgoodnessknowshowitwould
haveendedifPolya,whoknewhermasterbetterthanIdid,hadnotintervened.
"Therereallyisadisagreeablesmell,"shesaid,raisinghereyebrows."Whatcanitbe
from?Stepan,openthepaneinthedrawingroom,andlightthefire."
Withmuchbustleandmanyexclamations,shewentthroughalltherooms,rustlingher
skirtsandsqueezingthesprayerwithahissingsound.AndOrlovwasstilloutofhumour
hewasobviouslyrestraininghimselfnottoventhisilltemperaloud.Hewassittingatthe
tableandrapidlywritingaletter.Afterwritingafewlineshesnortedangrilyandtoreit
up,thenhebeganwritingagain.
"Damnthemall!"hemuttered."Theyexpectmetohaveanabnormalmemory!"
Atlasttheletterwaswrittenhegotupfromthetableandsaid,turningtome:
"GotoZnamenskyStreetanddeliverthislettertoZinaidaFyodorovnaKrasnovskyin
person.Butfirstasktheporterwhetherherhusbandthatis,Mr.Krasnovskyhas
returnedyet.Ifhehasreturned,don'tdelivertheletter,butcomeback.Waitaminute!...
IfsheaskswhetherIhaveanyonehere,tellherthattherehavebeentwogentlemenhere
sinceeighto'clock,writingsomething."
IdrovetoZnamenskyStreet.TheportertoldmethatMr.Krasnovskyhadnotyetcome
in,andImademywayuptothethirdstorey.Thedoorwasopenedbyatall,stout,drab
colouredflunkeywithblackwhiskers,whoinasleepy,churlish,andapatheticvoice,
suchasonlyflunkeysuseinaddressingotherflunkeys,askedmewhatIwanted.BeforeI
hadtimetoanswer,aladydressedinblackcamehurriedlyintothehall.Shescrewedup
hereyesandlookedatme.
"IsZinaidaFyodorovnaathome?"Iasked.
"Thatisme,"saidthelady.
"AletterfromGeorgyIvanitch."
Shetoretheletter openimpatiently,andholdingitinbothhands,sothatIsawher
sparklingdiamondrings,shebeganreading.Imadeoutapalefacewithsoftlines,a

prominentchin,andlongdarklashes.FromherappearanceIshouldnothavejudgedthe
ladytobemorethanfiveandtwenty.
"Givehimmythanksandmygreetings,"shesaidwhenshehadfinishedtheletter."Is
thereanyonewithGeorgyIvanitch?"sheaskedsoftly,joyfully,andasthoughashamed
ofhermistrust.
"Twogentlemen,"Ianswered."They'rewritingsomething."
"Givehimmygreetingsandthanks,"sherepeated,bendingherheadsideways,and,
readingtheletterasshewalked,shewentnoiselesslyout.Isawfewwomenatthattime,
andthisladyofwhomIhadapassingglimpsemadeanimpressiononme.AsIwalked
homeIrecalledherfaceandthedelicatefragranceabouther,andfelltodreaming.Bythe
timeIgothomeOrlovhadgoneout.

II
Andsomyrelationswithmyemployerwerequietandpeaceful,butstilltheuncleanand
degradingelementwhichIsodreadedonbecomingafootmanwasconspicuousand
madeitselffelteveryday.IdidnotgetonwithPolya.Shewasawellfedandpampered
hussywhoadoredOrlovbecausehewasagentlemananddespisedmebecauseIwasa
footman.Probably,from thepointofviewofarealflunkeyorcook,shewasfascinating,
withherredcheeks,herturnedupnose,hercoquettishglances,andtheplumpness,one
mightalmostsayfatness,ofherperson.Shepowderedherface,colouredherlipsand
eyebrows,lacedherselfin,andworeabustle,andabanglemadeofcoins.Shewalked
withlittlerippingstepsasshewalkedsheswayed,or,astheysay,wriggledher
shouldersandback.Therustleofherskirts,thecreakingofherstays,thejingleher
bangleandthevulgarsmelloflipsalve,toiletvinegar,andscentstolenfromhermaster,
arousedmewhilstIwasdoingtheroomswithherinthemorningasensationasthoughI
weretakingpartwithherinsomeabomination.
EitherbecauseIdidnotstealasshedid,orbecauseIdisplayednodesiretobecomeher
lover,whichsheprobablylookeduponasaninsult,orperhapsbecauseshefeltthatIwas
amanofadifferentorder,shehatedmefromthefirstday.Myinexperience,my
appearancesounlikeaflunkeyandmyillness,seemedtoherpitifulandexcitedher
disgust.Ihadabadcoughatthattime,andsometimesatnightIpreventedherfrom
sleeping,asourroomswereonlydividedbyawoodenpartition,andeverymorningshe
saidtome:
"Againyoudidn'tletmesleep.Yououghttobeinhospitalinsteadofinservice."
ShesogenuinelybelievedthatIwashardlyahumanbeing,butsomethinginfinitely
belowher,that,liketheRomanmatronswhowerenotashamedtobathebeforetheir
slaves,shesometimeswentaboutinmypresenceinnothingbutherchemise.
OncewhenIwasinahappy,dreamymood,Iaskedheratdinner(wehadsoupandroast
meatsentinfromarestauranteveryday)
"Polya,doyoubelieveinGod?"
"Why,ofcourse!"
"Then,"Iwenton,"youbelievetherewillbeadayofjudgment,andthatweshallhaveto
answertoGodforeveryevilaction?"
Shegavemenoreply,butsimplymadeacontemptuousgrimace,and,lookingthattime
athercoldeyesandoverfedexpression,Irealisedthatforhercompleteandfinished
personalitynoGod,noconscience,nolawsexisted,andthatifIhadhadtosetfiretothe
house,tomurderortorob,Icouldnothavehiredabetteraccomplice.

InmynovelsurroundingsIfeltveryuncomfortableforthefirstweekatOrlov'sbeforeI
gotusedtobeingaddressedas"thou,"andbeingconstantlyobligedtotelllies(saying
"Mymasterisnotathome"whenhewas).Inmyflunkey'sswallowtailIfeltasthoughI
wereinarmour.ButIgrewaccustomedtoitintime.Likeagenuinefootman,Iwaitedat
table,tidiedtherooms,rananddroveaboutonerrandsofallsorts.WhenOrlovdidnot
wanttokeepanappointmentwithZinaidaFyodorovna,orwhenheforgotthathehad
promisedtogoandseeher,IdrovetoZnamenskyStreet,putaletterintoherhandsand
toldalie.AndtheresultofitallwasquitedifferentfromwhatIhadexpectedwhenI
becameafootman.Everydayofthisnewlifeofminewaswastedformeandmycause,
asOrlovneverspokeofhisfather,nordidhisvisitors,andallIcouldlearnofthe
stateman'sdoingswas,asbefore,whatIcouldgleanfromthenewspapersorfrom
correspondencewithmycomrades.ThehundredsofnotesandpapersIusedtofindinthe
studyandreadhadnottheremotestconnectionwithwhatIwaslookingfor.Orlovwas
absolutelyuninterestedinhisfather'spoliticalwork,andlookedasthoughhehadnever
heardofit,orasthoughhisfatherhadlongbeendead.

III
EveryThursdaywehadvisitors.
IorderedapieceofroastbeeffromtherestaurantandtelephonedtoEliseyev'stosendus
caviare,cheese,oysters,andsoon.Iboughtplayingcards.Polyawasbusyalldaygetting
readytheteathingsandthedinnerservice.Totellthetruth,thisspurtofactivitycameas
apleasantchangeinouridlelife,andThursdayswereforusthemostinterestingdays.
Onlythreevisitorsusedtocome.Themostimportantandperhapsthemostinteresting
wastheonecalledPekarskyatall,leanmanoffiveandforty,withalonghookednose,
withabigblackbeard,andabaldpatchonhishead.Hiseyeswerelargeandprominent,
andhisexpressionwasgraveandthoughtfullikethatofaGreekphilosopher.Hewason
theboardofmanagementofsomerailway,andalsohadsomepostinabankhewasa
consultinglawyerinsomeimportantGovernmentinstitution,andhadbusinessrelations
withalargenumberofprivatepersonsasatrustee,chairmanofcommittees,andsoon.
Hewasofquitealowgradeintheservice,andmodestlyspokeofhimselfasalawyer,
buthehadavastinfluence.Anoteorcardfromhimwasenoughtomakeacelebrated
doctor,adirectorofarailway,oragreatdignitaryseeanyonewithoutwaitingandit
wassaidthatthroughhisprotectiononemightobtainevenapostoftheFourthClass,and
getanysortofunpleasantbusinesshushedup.Hewaslookeduponasaveryintelligent
man,buthiswasastrange,peculiarintelligence.Hewasabletomultiply213by373in
hisheadinstantaneously,orturnEnglishpoundsintoGermanmarkswithouthelpof
pencilorpaperheunderstoodfinanceandrailwaybusinessthoroughly,andthe
machineryofRussianadministrationhadnosecretsforhimhewasamostskilful
pleaderincivilsuits,anditwasnoteasytogetthebetter ofhimatlaw.Butthat
exceptionalintelligencecouldnotgraspmanythingswhichareunderstoodevenbysome
stupidpeople.Forinstance,hewasabsolutelyunabletounderstandwhypeopleare
depressed,whytheyweep,shootthemselves,andevenkillotherswhytheyfretabout
thingsthatdonotaffectthempersonally,andwhytheylaughwhentheyreadGogolor
Shtchedrin....Everythingabstract,everythingbelongingtothedomainofthoughtand
feeling,wastohimboringandincomprehensible,likemusictoonewhohasnoear.He
lookedatpeoplesimplyfromthebusinesspointofview,anddividedtheminto
competentandincompetent.Nootherclassificationexistedforhim.Honestyand
rectitudewereonlysignsofcompetence.Drinking,gambling,anddebaucherywere
permissible,butmustnotbeallowedtointerferewithbusiness.BelievinginGodwas
ratherstupid,butreligionoughtbesafeguarded,asthecommonpeoplemusthavesome
principletorestrainthem,otherwisetheywouldnotwork.Punishmentisonlynecessary
asdeterrent.Therewasnoneedtogoawayforholidays,asitwasjustasniceintown.
Andsoon.Hewasawidowerandhadnochildren,butlivedonalargescale,asthough
hehadafamily,andpaidthousandroublesayearforhisflat.
Thesecondvisitor,Kukushkin,anactualcivilcouncillorthoughayoungman,wasshort,
andwasconspicuousforhisextremelyunpleasantappearance,whichwasduetothe
disproportionbetweenhisfat,puffybodyandhisleanlittleface.Hislipswerepuckered

upsuavely,andhislittletrimmedmoustacheslookedasthoughtheyhadbeenfixedon
withglue.Hewasamanwiththemannersofalizard.Hedidnotwalk,but,asitwere,
creptalongwithtinysteps,squirmingandsniggering,andwhenhelaughedheshowed
histeeth.Hewasaclerkonspecialcommissions,anddidnothing,thoughhereceiveda
goodsalary,especiallyinthesummer,whenspecialandlucrativejobswerefoundfor
him.Hewasamanofpersonalambition,notonlytothemarrowofhisbones,butmore
fundamentallytothelastdropofhisbloodbuteveninhisambitionshewaspettyand
didnotrelyonhimself,butwasbuildinghiscareeronthechancefavourflunghimbyhis
superiors.Forthesakeofobtainingsomeforeigndecoration,orforthesakeofhavinghis
namementionedinthenewspapersashavingbeenpresentatsomespecialserviceinthe
companyofothergreatpersonages,hewasreadytosubmittoanykindofhumiliation,to
beg,toflatter,topromise.HeflatteredOrlov andPekarskyfromcowardice,becausehe
thoughttheywerepowerfulheflatteredPolyaandmebecausewewereintheserviceof
apowerfulman.WheneverItookoffhisfurcoathetitteredandaskedme:"Stepan,are
youmarried?"andthenunseemlyvulgaritiesfollowedbywayofshowingmespecial
attention.KukushkinflatteredOrlov'sweaknesses,humouredhiscorruptedandblas
waystopleasehimheaffectedmaliciousrailleryandatheism,inhiscompanycriticised
personsbeforewhominotherplaceshewouldslavishlygrovel.Whenatsupperthey
talkedofloveandwomen,hepretendedtobeasubtleandperversevoluptuary.Asarule,
onemaysay,Petersburgrakesarefondoftalkingoftheirabnormaltastes.Someyoung
actualcivilcouncillorisperfectlysatisfiedwiththeembracesofhiscookorofsome
unhappystreetwalkerontheNevskyProspect,buttolistentohimyouwouldthinkhe
wascontaminatedbyallthevicesofEastandWestcombined,thathewasanhonourary
memberofadozeniniquitoussecretsocietiesandwasalreadymarkedbythepolice.
Kukushkinliedabouthimselfinanunconscionableway,andtheydidnotexactly
disbelievehim,butpaidlittleheedtohisincrediblestories.
ThethirdguestwasGruzin,thesonofaworthyandlearnedgeneralamanofOrlov's
age,withlonghair,shortsightedeyes,andgoldspectacles.Irememberhislongwhite
fingers,thatlookedlikeapianist'sand,indeed,therewassomethingofamusician,ofa
virtuoso,abouthiswholefigure.Thefirstviolinsinorchestraslookjustlikethat.Heused
tocough,sufferedfrommigraine,andseemedinvalidishanddelicate.Probablyathome
hewasdressedandundressedlikeababy.HehadfinishedattheCollegeof
Jurisprudence,andhadatfirstservedintheDepartmentofJustice,thenhewas
transferredtotheSenateheleftthat,andthroughpatronagehadreceivedapostinthe
DepartmentofCrownEstates,andhadsoonafterwardsgiventhatup.Inmytimehewas
servinginOrlov'sdepartmenthewashisheadclerk,buthesaidthatheshouldsoon
exchangeintotheDepartmentofJusticeagain.Hetookhisdutiesandhisshiftingabout
fromoneposttoanotherwithexceptionallevity,andwhenpeopletalkedbeforehim
seriouslyofgradesintheservice,decorations,salaries,hesmiledgoodnaturedlyand
repeatedPrutkov'saphorism:"It'sonlyintheGovernmentserviceyoulearnthetruth."
Hehadalittlewifewithawrinkledface,whowasveryjealousofhim,andfiveweedy
lookingchildren.Hewasunfaithfultohiswife,hewasonlyfondofhischildrenwhenhe
sawthem,andonthewholewasratherindifferenttohisfamily,andmadefunofthem.
Heandhisfamilyexistedoncredit,borrowingwherevertheycouldateveryopportunity,
evenfromhissuperiorsintheofficeandportersinpeople'shouses.Hiswasaflabby

naturehewassolazythathedidnotcarewhatbecameofhimself,anddriftedalong
heedlesswhereorwhyhewasgoing.Hewentwherehewastaken.Ifhewastakento
somelowhaunt,hewentifwinewassetbeforehim,hedrankifitwerenotputbefore
him,heabstainedifwiveswereabusedinhispresence,heabusedhiswife,declaringshe
hadruinedhislifewhenwiveswerepraised,hepraisedhisandsaidquitesincerely:"I
amveryfondofher,poorthing!"Hehadnofurcoatandalwaysworearugwhichsmelt
ofthenursery.Whenatsupperherolledballsofbreadanddrankagreatdealofredwine,
absorbedinthought,strangetosay,Iusedtofeelalmostcertainthattherewassomething
inhimofwhichperhapshehadavaguesense,thoughinthebustleandvulgarityofhis
dailylifehehadnottimetounderstandandappreciateit.Heplayedalittleonthepiano.
Sometimeshewouldsitdownatthepiano,playachordortwo,andbeginsingingsoftly:
"Whatdoesthecomingdaybringtome?"
Butatonce,asthoughafraid,hewouldgetupandwalkfromthepiano.
Thevisitorsusuallyarrivedaboutteno'clock.TheyplayedcardsinOrlov'sstudy,and
PolyaandIhandedthem tea.ItwasonlyontheseoccasionsthatIcouldgaugethefull
sweetnessofaflunkey'slife.Standingforfourorfivehoursatthedoor,watchingthatno
one'sglassshouldbeempty,changingtheashtrays,runningtothetabletopickupthe
chalkoracardwhenitwasdropped,and,aboveall,standing,waiting,beingattentive
withoutventuringtospeak,tocough,tosmileisharder,Iassureyou,isharderthanthe
hardestoffieldlabour.Ihavestoodonwatchatseaforfourhoursatastretchonstormy
winternights,andtomythinkingitisaninfinitelyeasierduty.
Theyusedtoplaycardstilltwo,sometimestillthreeo'clockatnight,andthen,stretching,
theywouldgointothediningroomtosupper,or,asOrlovsaid,forasnackofsomething.
Atsuppertherewasconversation.ItusuallybeganbyOrlov'sspeakingwithlaughing
eyesofsomeacquaintance,ofsomebookhehadlatelybeenreading,ofanew
appointmentorGovernmentscheme.Kukushkin,alwaysingratiating,wouldfallintohis
tone,andwhatfollowedwastome,inmymoodatthattime,arevoltingexhibition.The
ironyofOrlovandhisfriendsknewnobounds,andsparednooneandnothing.Ifthey
spokeofreligion,itwaswithironytheyspokeofphilosophy,ofthesignificanceand
objectoflifeironyagain,ifanyonebeganaboutthepeasantry,itwaswithirony.
ThereisinPetersburgaspeciesofmenwhosespecialtyitistojeerateveryaspectoflife
theycannotevenpassbyastarvingmanorasuicidewithoutsayingsomethingvulgar.
ButOrlovandhisfriendsdidnotjeerormakejokes,theytalkedironically.Theyusedto
saythattherewasnoGod,andpersonalitywascompletelylostatdeaththeimmortals
onlyexistedintheFrenchAcademy.Realgooddidnotandcouldnotpossiblyexist,as
itsexistencewasconditionaluponhumanperfection,whichwasalogicalabsurdity.
RussiawasacountryaspooranddullasPersia.Theintellectualclasswashopelessin
Pekarsky'sopiniontheoverwhelmingmajorityinitwereincompetentpersons,goodfor
nothing.Thepeopleweredrunken,lazy,thievish,anddegenerate.Wehadnoscience,our
literaturewasuncouth,ourcommercerestedonswindling"Nosellingwithout
cheating."Andeverythingwasinthatstyle,andeverythingwasasubjectforlaughter.

Towardstheendofsupperthewinemadethemmoregoodhumoured,andtheypassedto
morelivelyconversation.TheylaughedoverGruzin'sfamilylife,overKukushkin's
conquests,oratPekarsky,whohad,theysaid,inhisaccountbookonepageheaded
_Charity_andanother_PhysiologicalNecessities_.Theysaidthatnowifewasfaithful
thattherewasnowifefromwhomonecouldnot,withpractice,obtaincaresseswithout
leavingherdrawingroomwhileherhusbandwassittinginhisstudyclosebythatgirls
intheirteenswerepervertedandkneweverything.Orlovhadpreservedaletterofa
schoolgirloffourteen:onherwayhomefromschoolshehad"hookedanofficeronthe
Nevsky,"whohad,itappears,takenherhomewithhim,andhadonlylethergolatein
theeveningandshehastenedtowriteaboutthistoherschoolfriendtoshareherjoywith
her.Theymaintainedthattherewasnotandneverhadbeensuchathingasmoralpurity,
andthatevidentlyitwasunnecessarymankindhadsofardoneverywellwithoutit.The
harmdonebysocalledvicewasundoubtedlyexaggerated.Viceswhicharepunishedby
ourlegalcodehadnotpreventedDiogenesfrombeingaphilosopherandateacher.Csar
andCicerowereprofligatesandatthesametimegreatmen.Catoinhisoldagemarrieda
younggirl,andyethewasregardedasagreatasceticandapillarofmorality.
Atthreeorfouro'clockthepartybrokeuportheywentofftogetheroutoftown,orto
Officers'Street,tothehouseof acertainVarvaraOssipovna,whileIretiredtomy
quarters,andwaskeptawakealongwhilebycoughingandheadache.

IV
ThreeweeksafterIenteredOrlov'sserviceitwasSundaymorning,Iremember
somebodyrangthebell.Itwasnotyeteleven,andOrlovwasstillasleep.Iwenttoopen
thedoor.YoucanimaginemyastonishmentwhenIfoundaladyinaveilstandingatthe
dooronthelanding.
"IsGeorgyIvanitchup?"sheasked.
FromhervoiceIrecognisedZinaidaFyodorovna,towhomIhadtakenlettersin
ZnamenskyStreet.Idon'trememberwhetherIhadtimeorselfpossessiontoanswerher
Iwastakenabackatseeingher.And,indeed,shedidnotneedmyanswer.Inaflashshe
haddartedbyme,and,fillingthehallwiththefragranceofherperfume,whichI
remembertothisday,shewenton,andherfootstepsdiedaway.Foratleasthalfanhour
afterwardsIheardnothing.Butagainsomeonerang.Thistimeitwasasmartlydressed
girl,wholookedlikeamaidinawealthyfamily,accompaniedby ourhouseporter.Both
wereoutofbreath,carryingtwotrunksandadressbasket.
"TheseareforZinaidaFyodorovna,"saidthegirl.
Andshewentdownwithoutsayinganotherword.Allthiswasmysterious,andmade
Polya,whohadadeepadmirationforthepranksofherbetters,smileslylytoherselfshe
lookedasthoughshewouldliketosay,"Sothat'swhatwe'reupto,"andshewalked
aboutthewholetimeontiptoe.AtlastweheardfootstepsZinaidaFyodorovnacame
quicklyintothehall,andseeingmeatthedoorofmyroom,said:
"Stepan,takeGeorgyIvanitchhisthings."
WhenIwentintoOrlovwithhisclothesandhisboots,hewassittingonthebedwithhis
feetonthebearskinrug.Therewasanairofembarrassmentabouthiswholefigure.He
didnotnoticeme,andmymenialopiniondidnotinteresthimhewasevidently
perturbedandembarrassedbeforehimself,beforehisinnereye.Hedressed,washed,and
usedhiscombsandbrushessilentlyanddeliberately,asthoughallowinghimselftimeto
thinkoverhispositionandtoreflect,andevenfromhisbackonecouldseehewas
troubledanddissatisfiedwithhimself.
Theydrankcoffeetogether.ZinaidaFyodorovnapouredoutcoffeeforherselfandfor
Orlov,thensheputherelbowsonthetableandlaughed.
"Istillcan'tbelieveit,"shesaid."Whenonehasbeenalongwhileonone'stravelsand
reachesahotelatlast,it'sdifficulttobelievethatonehasn'ttogoon.Itispleasantto
breathefreely."
Withtheexpressionofachildwhoverymuchwantstobemischievous,shesighedwith
reliefandlaughedagain.

"Youwillexcuseme,"saidOrlov,noddingtowardsthecoffee."Readingatbreakfastisa
habitIcan'tgetover.ButIcandotwothingsatoncereadandlisten."
"Readaway... .Youshallkeepyourhabitsandyourfreedom.Butwhydoyoulookso
solemn?Areyoualwayslikethatinthemorning,orisitonlytoday?Aren'tyouglad?"
"Yes,Iam.ButImustownIamalittleoverwhelmed."
"Why?Youhadplentyoftimetoprepare yourselfformydescentuponyou.I'vebeen
threateningtocomeeveryday."
"Yes,butIdidn'texpectyoutocarryoutyourthreattoday."
"Ididn'texpectitmyself,butthat'sallthebetter.It'sallthebetter,mydear.It'sbestto
haveanachingtoothoutandhavedonewithit."
"Yes,ofcourse."
"Oh,mydear,"shesaid,closinghereyes,"alliswellthatendswellbutbeforethis
happyending,whatsufferingtherehasbeen!MylaughingmeansnothingIamglad,I
amhappy,butIfeelmorelikecryingthanlaughing.YesterdayIhadtofightaregular
battle,"shewentoninFrench."GodaloneknowshowwretchedIwas.ButIlaugh
becauseIcan'tbelieveinit.Ikeepfancyingthatmysittingheredrinkingcoffeewithyou
isnotreal,butadream."
Then,stillspeakingFrench,shedescribedhowshehadbrokenwithherhusbandtheday
beforeandhereyeswerealternatelyfulloftearsandoflaughterwhileshegazedwith
raptureatOrlov.Shetoldhimherhusbandhadlongsuspectedher,buthadavoided
explanationstheyhadfrequentquarrels,andusuallyatthemostheatedmomenthe
wouldsuddenlysubsideintosilenceanddeparttohisstudyforfearthatinhis
exasperationhemightgiveutterancetohissuspicionsorshemightherselfbegintospeak
openly.Andshehadfeltguilty,worthless,incapableoftakingaboldandseriousstep,
andthathadmadeherhateherselfandherhusbandmoreeveryday,andshehadsuffered
thetormentsofhell.Butthedaybefore,whenduringaquarrelhehadcriedoutina
tearfulvoice,"MyGod,whenwillitend?"andhadwalkedofftohisstudy,shehadrun
afterhimlikeacatafteramouse,and,preventinghimfromshuttingthedoor,shehad
criedthatshehatedhimwithherwholesoul.Thenhelethercomeintothestudyandshe
hadtoldhimeverything,hadconfessedthatshelovedsomeoneelse,thatthatsomeone
elsewasherreal,mostlawfulhusband,andthatshethoughtithertruedutytogoawayto
himthatveryday,whatevermighthappen,ifsheweretobeshotforit.
"There'saveryromanticstreakinyou,"Orlovinterrupted,keepinghiseyesfixedonthe
newspaper.

Shelaughedandwentontalkingwithouttouchinghercoffee.Hercheeksglowedandshe
wasalittleembarrassedbyit,andshelookedinconfusionatPolyaandme.Fromwhat
shewentontosayIlearntthatherhusbandhadansweredherwiththreats,reproaches,
andfinallytears,andthatitwouldhavebeenmoreaccuratetosaythatshe,andnothe,
hadbeentheattackingparty.
"Yes,mydear,solongasIwasworkedup,everythingwentallright,"shetoldOrlov
"butasnightcameon,myspiritssank.Youdon'tbelieveinGod,_George_,butIdo
believealittle,andIfearretribution.Godrequiresofuspatience,magnanimity,self
sacrifice,andhereIamrefusingtobepatientandwanttoremodelmylifetosuitmyself.
Isthatright?WhatiffromthepointofviewofGodit'swrong?Attwoo'clockinthe
nightmyhusbandcametomeandsaid:'Youdarenotgoaway.I'llfetchyouback
throughthepoliceandmakeascandal.'AndsoonafterwardsIsawhimlikeashadowat
mydoor.'Havemercyonme!Yourelopementmayinjuremeintheservice.'Those
wordshadacoarseeffectuponmeandmademefeelstiffallover.Ifeltasthoughthe
retributionwerebeginningalreadyIbegancryingandtremblingwithterror.Ifeltas
thoughtheceilingwouldfalluponme,thatIshouldbedraggedofftothepolicestation
atonce,thatyouwouldgrowcoldtomeallsortsofthings,infact!IthoughtIwouldgo
intoanunneryorbecomeanurse,andgiveupallthoughtofhappiness,butthenI
rememberedthatyoulovedme,andthatIhadnorighttodisposeofmyselfwithoutyour
knowledgeandeverythinginmymindwasinatangleIwasindespairanddidnot
knowwhattodoorthink.ButthesunroseandIgrewhappier.Assoonasitwasmorning
Idashedofftoyou.Ah,whatI'vebeenthrough,dearone!Ihaven'tsleptfortwonights!"
Shewastiredoutandexcited.Shewassleepy,andatthesametimeshewantedtotalk
endlessly,tolaughandtocry,andtogotoarestauranttolunchthatshemightfeelher
freedom.
"Youhaveacosyflat,butIamafraiditmaybesmallforthetwoofus,"shesaid,
walkingrapidlythroughalltheroomswhentheyhadfinishedbreakfast."Whatroomwill
yougiveme?Ilikethisonebecauseitisnexttoyourstudy."
Atoneo'clockshechangedherdressintheroomnexttothestudy,whichfromthattime
shecalledhers,andshewentoffwithOrlovtolunch.Theydined,too,atarestaurant,and
spentthelongintervalbetweenlunchanddinnerinshopping.TilllateatnightIwas
openingthedoortomessengersanderrandboysfromtheshops.Theybought,among
otherthings,asplendidpierglass,adressingtable,abedstead,andagorgeoustea
servicewhichwedidnotneed.Theyboughtaregularcollectionofcoppersaucepans,
whichwesetinarowontheshelfinourcold,emptykitchen.Aswewereunpackingthe
teaservicePolya'seyesgleamed,andshelookedatmetwoorthreetimeswithhatredand
fearthatI,notshe,wouldbethefirsttostealoneofthesecharmingcups.Alady's
writingtable,veryexpensiveandinconvenient,cametoo.ItwasevidentthatZinaida
Fyodorovnacontemplatedsettlingwithusforgood,andmeanttomaketheflatherhome.
ShecamebackwithOrlovbetweennineandten.Fullofproudconsciousnessthatshe
haddonesomethingboldandoutofthecommon,passionatelyinlove,and,asshe

imagined,passionatelyloved,exhausted,lookingforwardtoasweetsoundsleep,Zinaida
Fyodorovnawasrevellinginhernewlife.Shesqueezedherhandstogetherintheexcess
ofherjoy,declaredthateverythingwasdelightful,andsworethatshewouldloveOrlov
foreverandthesevows,andthenave,almostchildishconfidencethatshetoowas
deeplylovedandwouldbelovedforever,madeheratleastfiveyearsyounger.She
talkedcharmingnonsenseandlaughedatherself.
"There'snootherblessinggreaterthanfreedom!"shesaid,forcingherselftosay
somethingseriousandedifying."Howabsurditiswhenyouthinkofit!Weattachno
valuetoourownopinionevenwhenitiswise,buttremblebeforetheopinionofallsorts
ofstupidpeople.UptothelastminuteIwasafraidofwhatotherpeoplewouldsay,butas
soonasIfollowedmyowninstinctandmadeupmymindtogomyownway,myeyes
wereopened,Iovercamemysillyfears,andnowIamhappyandwisheveryonecould
beashappy!"
Butherthoughtsimmediatelytookanotherturn,andshebegantalkingofanotherflat,of
wallpapers,horses,atriptoSwitzerlandandItaly.Orlovwastiredbytherestaurantsand
theshops,andwasstillsufferingfromthesameuneasinessthatIhadnoticedinthe
morning.Hesmiled,butmorefrompolitenessthanpleasure,andwhenshespokeof
anythingseriously,heagreedironically:"Oh,yes."
"Stepan,makehasteandfindusagoodcook,"shesaidtome.
"There'snoneedtobeinahurryoverthekitchenarrangements,"saidOrlov,lookingat
mecoldly."Wemustfirstmoveintoanotherflat."
Wehadneverhadcookingdoneathomenorkepthorses,because,ashesaid,"hedidnot
likedisorderabouthim,"andonlyputupwithhavingPolyaandmeinhisflatfrom
necessity.Thesocalleddomestichearth withitseverydayjoysanditspettycares
offendedhistasteasvulgaritytobewithchild,ortohavechildrenandtalkaboutthem,
wasbadform,likeapettybourgeois.AndIbegantofeelverycurioustoseehowthese
twocreatureswouldgetontogetherinoneflatshe,domesticandhomelovingwithher
coppersaucepansandherdreamsofagoodcookandhorsesandhe,fondofsayingtohis
friendsthatadecentandorderlyman'sflatought,likeawarship,tohavenothinginit
superfluousnowomen,nochildren,norags,nokitchenutensils.

V
ThenIwilltellyouwhathappenedthefollowingThursday.ThatdayZinaida
FyodorovnadinedatContent'sorDonon's.Orlovreturnedhomealone,andZinaida
Fyodorovna,asIlearntafterwards,wenttothePetersburgSidetospendwithherold
governessthetimevisitorswerewithus.Orlovdidnotcaretoshowhertohisfriends.I
realisedthatatbreakfast,whenhebeganassuringherthatforthesakeofherpeaceof
minditwasessentialtogiveuphisThursdayevenings.
Asusualthevisitorsarrivedatalmostthesametime.
"Isyourmistressathome,too?"Kukushkinaskedmeinawhisper.
"No,sir,"Ianswered.
Hewentinwithasly,oilylookinhiseyes,smilingmysteriously,rubbinghishands,
which werecoldfromthefrost.
"Ihavethehonourtocongratulateyou,"hesaidtoOrlov,shakingalloverwith
ingratiating,obsequiouslaughter."Mayyouincreaseandmultiplylikethecedarsof
Lebanon."
Thevisitorswentintothebedroom,andwereextremelyjocoseonthesubjectofapairof
feminineslippers,therugthathadbeenputdownbetweenthetwobeds,andagrey
dressingjacketthathungatthefootofthebedstead.Theywereamusedthattheobstinate
manwhodespisedallthecommonplacedetailsoflovehadbeencaughtinfeminine
snaresinsuchasimpleandordinaryway.
"Hewhopointedthefingerofscornisbowingthekneeinhomage,"Kukushkinrepeated
severaltimes.Hehad,Imaysayinparenthesis,anunpleasanthabitofadorninghis
conversationwithtextsinChurchSlavonic."Shsh!"hesaidastheywentfromthe
bedroomintotheroomnexttothestudy."Shsh!HereGretchenisdreamingofher
Faust."
Hewentoffintoapealoflaughterasthoughhehadsaidsomethingveryamusing.I
watchedGruzin,expectingthathismusicalsoulwouldnotendurethislaughter,butIwas
mistaken.Histhin,goodnaturedfacebeamedwithpleasure.Whentheysatdowntoplay
cards,he,lispingandchokingwithlaughter,saidthatallthat"dear_George_"wantedto
completehisdomesticfelicitywasacherrywoodpipeandaguitar.Pekarskylaughed
sedately,butfromhisseriousexpressiononecouldseethatOrlov'snewloveaffairwas
distastefultohim.Hedidnotunderstandwhathadhappenedexactly.
"Buthowaboutthehusband?"heaskedinperplexity,aftertheyhadplayedthreerubbers.
"Idon'tknow,"answeredOrlov.

Pekarskycombedhisbigbeardwithhisfingersandsankintothought,andhedidnot
speakagaintillsuppertime.Whentheywereseatedatsupper,hebegandeliberately,
drawlingeveryword:
"Altogether,excusemysayingso,Idon'tunderstandeitherofyou.Youmightloveeach
otherandbreaktheseventhcommandmenttoyourheart'scontentthatIunderstand.
Yes,that'scomprehensible.Butwhymakethehusbandapartytoyoursecrets?Wasthere
anyneedforthat?"
"Butdoesitmakeanydifference?"
"Hm!...."Pekarskymused."Well,then,letmetellyouthis,myfriend,"hewenton,
evidentlythinkinghard:"ifIevermarryagainandyoutakeitintoyourheadtoseduce
mywife,pleasedoitsothatIdon'tnoticeit.It'smuchmorehonesttodeceiveamanthan
tobreakuphisfamilylifeandinjurehisreputation.Iunderstand.Youbothimaginethat
inlivingtogetheropenlyyouaredoingsomethingexceptionallyhonourableand
advanced,butIcan'tagreewiththat...whatshallIcallit?...romanticattitude?"
Orlovmadenoreply.Hewasoutofhumouranddisinclinedtotalk.Pekarsky,still
perplexed,drummedonthetablewithhisfingers,thoughtalittle,andsaid:
"Idon'tunderstandyou,allthesame.Youarenotastudentandsheisnotadressmaker.
Youarebothofyoupeoplewithmeans.Ishouldhavethoughtyoumighthavearrangeda
separateflatforher."
"No, Icouldn't.ReadTurgenev."
"WhyshouldIreadhim?Ihavereadhimalready."
"Turgenevteachesusinhisnovelsthateveryexalted,noblemindedgirlshouldfollow
themanshelovestotheendsoftheearth,andshouldservehisidea,"saidOrlov,
screwinguphiseyesironically."Theendsoftheeartharepoeticlicensetheearthandall
itsendscanbereducedtotheflatofthemansheloves....Andsonottoliveinthesame
flatwiththewomanwholovesyouistodenyherherexaltedvocationandtorefuseto
shareherideals.Yes,mydearfellow,Turgenevwrote,andIhavetosufferforit."
"WhatTurgenevhasgottodowithitIdon'tunderstand,"saidGruzinsoftly,andhe
shruggedhisshoulders."Doyouremember,_George_,howin'ThreeMeetings'heis
walkinglateintheeveningsomewhereinItaly,andsuddenlyhears,_'Vienipensandoa
mesegretamente,'_"Gruzinhummed."It'sfine."
"Butshehasn'tcometosettlewithyoubyforce,"saidPekarsky."Itwasyourownwish."
"Whatnext!Farfromwishingit,Ineverimaginedthatthiswouldeverhappen.Whenshe
saidshewascomingtolivewithme,Ithoughtitwasacharmingjokeonherpart."

Everybodylaughed.
"Icouldn'thavewishedforsuchathing,"saidOrlovinthetoneofamancompelledto
justifyhimself."IamnotaTurgenevhero,andifIeverwantedtofreeBulgariaI
shouldn'tneedalady'scompany.Ilookuponloveprimarilyasanecessityofmyphysical
nature,degradingandantagonistictomyspirititmusteitherbesatisfiedwithdiscretion
orrenouncedaltogether,otherwiseitwillbringintoone'slifeelementsasuncleanas
itself.Forittobeanenjoymentandnotatorment,Iwilltrytomakeitbeautifulandto
surrounditwithamassofillusions.IshouldnevergoandseeawomanunlessIwere
surebeforehandthatshewouldbebeautifulandfascinatingandIshouldnevergounless
Iwereinthemood.Anditisonlyinthatwaythatwesucceedindeceivingoneanother,
andfancyingthatweareinloveandhappy.ButcanIwishforcoppersaucepansand
untidyhair,orliketobeseenmyselfwhenIamunwashedoroutofhumour?Zinaida
FyodorovnainthesimplicityofherheartwantsmetolovewhatIhavebeenshunningall
mylife.Shewantsmyflattosmellofcookingandwashingupshewantsallthefussof
movingintoanotherflat,ofdrivingaboutwithherownhorsesshewantstocountover
mylinenandtolookaftermyhealthshewantstomeddleinmypersonallifeatevery
instant,andtowatchovereverystep andatthesametimesheassuresmegenuinelythat
myhabitsandmyfreedomwillbeuntouched.Sheispersuadedthat,likeayoungcouple,
weshallverysoongoforahoneymoon thatis,shewantstobewithmeallthetimein
trainsandhotels,whileIliketoreadonthejourneyandcannotenduretalkingintrains."
"Youshouldgiveheratalkingto,"saidPekarsky.
"What!Doyousupposeshewouldunderstandme?Why,wethinksodifferently.Inher
opinion,toleaveone'spapaandmammaorone'shusbandforthesakeofthemanone
lovesistheheightofcivicvirtue,whileIlookuponitaschildish.Tofallinloveandrun
awaywithamantohermeansbeginninganewlife,whiletomyminditmeansnothing
atall.Loveandmanconstitutethechiefinterestofherlife,andpossiblyitisthe
philosophyoftheunconsciousatworkinher.Tryandmakeherbelievethatloveisonly
asimplephysicalneed,liketheneedoffoodorclothesthatitdoesn'tmeantheendof
theworldifwivesandhusbandsareunsatisfactorythatamanmaybeaprofligateanda
libertine,andyetamanofhonourandageniusandthat,ontheotherhand,onemay
abstainfromthepleasuresofloveandatthesametimebeastupid,viciousanimal!The
civilisedmanoftoday,evenamongthelowerclassesforinstance,theFrench
workmanspendsten_sous_ondinner,five_sous_onhiswine,andfiveorten_sous_
onwoman,anddevoteshisbrainandnervesentirelytohiswork.ButZinaida
Fyodorovnaassignstolovenotsomany_sous_,butherwholesoul.Imightgivehera
talkingto,butshewouldraiseawailinanswer,anddeclareinallsinceritythatIhad
ruinedher,thatshehadnothinglefttolivefor."
"Don'tsayanythingtoher,"saidPekarsky,"butsimplytakeaseparateflatforher,that's
all."
"That'seasytosay."

Therewasabriefsilence.
"Butsheischarming,"saidKukushkin."Sheisexquisite.Suchwomenimaginethatthey
willbeinloveforever,andabandonthemselveswithtragicintensity."
"Butonemustkeepaheadonone'sshoulders,"saidOrlov"onemustbereasonable.All
experiencegainedfromeverydaylifeandhandeddownininnumerablenovelsandplays,
uniformlyconfirmsthefactthatadulteryandcohabitationofanysortbetweendecent
peopleneverlastslongerthantwooratmostthreeyears,howevergreatthelovemay
havebeenatthebeginning.Thatsheoughttoknow.Andsoallthisbusinessofmoving,
ofsaucepans,hopesofeternalloveandharmony,arenothingbutadesiretodelude
herselfandme.Sheischarmingandexquisitewhodeniesit?Butshehasturnedmylife
upsidedownwhatIhaveregardedastrivialandnonsensicaltillnowshehasforcedme
toraisetothelevelofaseriousproblemIserveanidolwhomIhaveneverlooked upon
asGod.Sheischarmingexquisite,butforsomereasonnowwhenIamgoinghome,I
feeluneasy,asthoughIexpectedtomeetwithsomethinginconvenientathome,suchas
workmenpullingthestovetopiecesandblockinguptheplacewithheapsofbricks.In
fact,Iamnolongergivinguptolovea_sous_,butpartofmypeaceofmindandmy
nerves.Andthat'sbad."
"Andshedoesn'thearthisvillain!"sighedKukushkin."Mydearsir,"hesaidtheatrically,
"Iwillrelieveyoufromtheburdensomeobligationtolovethatadorablecreature!Iwill
wrestZinaidaFyodorovnafromyou!"
"Youmay..."saidOrlovcarelessly.
ForhalfaminuteKukushkinlaughedashrilllittlelaugh,shakingallover,thenhesaid:
"LookoutIaminearnest!Don'tyouplay theOthelloafterwards!"
TheyallbegantalkingofKukushkin'sindefatigableenergyinloveaffairs,how
irresistiblehewastowomen,andwhatadangerhewastohusbandsandhowthedevil
wouldroasthimintheotherworldforhisimmoralityinthis.Hescreweduphiseyesand
remainedsilent,andwhenthenamesofladiesoftheiracquaintancewerementioned,he
helduphislittlefingerasthoughtosaytheymustn'tgiveawayotherpeople'ssecrets.
Orlovsuddenlylookedathiswatch.
Hisfriendsunderstood,andbegantotaketheirleave.IrememberthatGruzin,whowasa
littledrunk,waswearisomelylongingettingoff.Heputonhiscoat,whichwascutlike
children'scoatsinpoorfamilies,pulledupthecollar,andbegantellingsomelong
windedstorythen,seeinghewasnotlistenedto,heflungtherugthatsmeltofthe
nurseryoveroneshoulder,andwithaguiltyandimploringfacebeggedmetofindhis
hat.

"_George_,myangel,"hesaidtenderly."DoasIaskyou,dearboycomeoutoftown
withus!"
"Youcango,butIcan't.Iaminthepositionofamarriedmannow."
"Sheisadear,shewon'tbeangry.Mydearchief,comealong!It'sgloriousweather
there'ssnowandfrost....Uponmyword,youwantshakingupabityouareoutof
humour.Idon'tknowwhatthedevilisthematterwithyou...."
Orlovstretched,yawned,andlookedatPekarsky.
"Areyougoing?"hesaid,hesitating.
"Idon'tknow.Perhaps."
"ShallIgetdrunk?Allright,I'llcome,"saidOrlovaftersomehesitation."Waitaminute
I'llgetsomemoney."
Hewentintothestudy,andGruzinslouchedin,too,dragginghisrugafterhim.Aminute
laterbothcamebackintothehall.Gruzin,alittledrunkandverypleased,wascrumpling
atenroublenoteinhishands.
"We'llsettleuptomorrow,"hesaid."Andsheiskind,shewon'tbecross....Sheismy
Lisotchka'sgodmotherIamfondofher,poorthing!Ah,mydearfellow!"helaughed
joyfully,andpressinghisforeheadonPekarsky'sback."Ah,Pekarsky,mydearsoul!
Advocatissimusasdryasabiscuit,butyoubetheisfondofwomen...."
"Fatones,"saidOrlov,puttingonhisfurcoat."Butletusgetoff,orweshallbemeeting
heronthedoorstep."
"_'Vienipensandoamesegretamente,'_"hummedGruzin.
Atlasttheydroveoff:Orlovdidnotsleepathome,andreturnednextdayatdinnertime.

VI
ZinaidaFyodorovnahadlosthergoldwatch,apresentfromherfather.Thisloss
surprisedandalarmedher.Shespenthalfadaygoingthroughtherooms,looking
helplesslyonallthetablesandonallthewindows.Butthewatchhaddisappeared
completely.
OnlythreedaysafterwardsZinaidaFyodorovna,oncomingin,leftherpurseinthehall.
Luckilyforme,onthatoccasionitwasnotIbutPolyawhohelpedheroffwithhercoat.
Whenthepursewasmissed,itcouldnotbefoundinthehall.
"Strange,"saidZinaidaFyodorovnainbewilderment."Idistinctlyremembertakingitout
ofmypockettopaythecabman...andthenIputitherenearthelookingglass.It'svery
odd!"
Ihadnotstolenit,butIfeltasthoughIhadstolenitandhadbeencaughtinthetheft.
Tearsactuallycameintomyeyes.Whentheywereseatedatdinner,ZinaidaFyodorovna
saidtoOrlovinFrench:
"Thereseemtobespiritsintheflat.Ilostmypurseinthehalltoday,andnow,loand
behold,itisonmytable.Butit'snotquiteadisinterestedtrickofthespirits.Theytook
outagoldcoinandtwentyroublesinnotes."
"Youarealwayslosingsomethingfirstit'syourwatch andthenit'syourmoney..."said
Orlov."Whyisitnothingofthesorteverhappenstome?"
AminutelaterZinaidaFyodorovnahadforgottenthetrickplayedbythespirits,andwas
tellingwithalaughhowtheweekbeforeshehadorderedsomenotepaperandhad
forgottentogivehernewaddress,andtheshophadsentthepapertoheroldhomeather
husband's,whohadtopaytwelveroublesforit.Andsuddenlysheturnedhereyeson
Polyaandlookedatherintently.Sheblushedasshedidso,andwassoconfusedthatshe
begantalkingofsomethingelse.
WhenItookinthecoffeetothestudy,Orlovwasstandingwithhisbacktothefireand
shewassittinginanarmchairfacinghim.
"Iamnotinabadtemperatall,"shewassayinginFrench."ButIhavebeenputting
thingstogether,andnowIseeitclearly.Icangiveyouthedayandthehourwhenshe
stolemywatch.Andthepurse?Therecanbenodoubtaboutit.Oh!"shelaughedasshe
tookthecoffeefromme."NowIunderstandwhyIamalwayslosingmyhandkerchiefs
andgloves.Whateveryousay,IshalldismissthemagpietomorrowandsendStepanfor
mySofya.Sheisnotathiefandhasnotgotsucharepulsiveappearance."
"Youareoutofhumour.Tomorrowyouwillfeeldifferently,andwillrealisethatyou
can'tdischargepeoplesimplybecauseyoususpectthem."

"It'snotsuspicionit'scertainty,"saidZinaidaFyodorovna."SolongasIsuspectedthat
unhappyfaced,poorlookingvaletofyours,Isaidnothing.It'stoobadofyounotto
believeme,_George_."
"Ifwethinkdifferentlyaboutanything,itdoesn'tfollowthatIdon'tbelieveyou.You
mayberight,"saidOrlov,turningroundandflinginghiscigaretteendintothefire,"but
thereisnoneedtobeexcitedaboutit,anyway.Infact, Imustsay,Ineverexpectedmy
humbleestablishmentwouldcauseyousomuchseriousworryandagitation.You'velost
agoldcoin:nevermindyoumayhaveahundredofminebuttochangemyhabits,to
pickupanewhousemaid,towaittillsheisusedto theplaceallthat'satedious,tiring
businessanddoesnotsuitme.Ourpresentmaidcertainlyisfat,andhas,perhaps,a
weaknessforglovesandhandkerchiefs,butsheisperfectlywellbehaved,welltrained,
anddoesnotshriekwhenKukushkinpinchesher."
"Youmeanthatyoucan'tpartwithher?...Whydon'tyousayso?"
"Areyoujealous?"
"Yes,Iam,"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,decidedly.
"Thankyou."
"Yes,Iamjealous,"sherepeated,andtearsglistenedinhereyes."No,it'ssomething
worse ...whichIfinditdifficulttofindanamefor."Shepressedherhandsonher
temples,andwentonimpulsively."Youmenaresodisgusting!It'shorrible!"
"Iseenothinghorribleaboutit."
"I'venotseenitIdon'tknowbuttheysaythatyoumen beginwithhousemaidsasboys,
andgetsousedtoitthatyoufeelnorepugnance.Idon'tknow,Idon'tknow,butIhave
actuallyread..._George_,ofcourseyouareright,"shesaid,goinguptoOrlovand
changingtoacaressingandimploringtone."I reallyamoutofhumourtoday.But,you
mustunderstand,Ican'thelpit.ShedisgustsmeandIamafraidofher.Itmakesme
miserabletoseeher."
"Surelyyoucanriseabovesuchpaltriness?"saidOrlov,shrugginghisshouldersin
perplexity,andwalkingawayfromthefire."Nothingcouldbesimpler:takenonoticeof
her,andthenshewon'tdisgustyou,andyouwon'tneedtomakearegulartragedyoutof
atrifle."
Iwentoutofthestudy,andIdon'tknowwhatanswerOrlovreceived.Whateveritwas,
Polyaremained.AfterthatZinaidaFyodorovnaneverappliedtoherforanything,and
evidentlytriedtodispensewithherservices.WhenPolyahandedheranythingoreven
passedbyher,jinglingherbangleandrustlingherskirts,sheshuddered.

IbelievethatifGruzinorPekarskyhadaskedOrlovtodismissPolyahewouldhavedone
sowithouttheslightesthesitation,withouttroublingaboutanyexplanations.Hewas
easilypersuaded,likeallindifferentpeople.ButinhisrelationswithZinaidaFyodorovna
hedisplayedforsomereason,evenintrifles,anobstinacywhichsometimeswasalmost
irrational.IknewbeforehandthatifZinaidaFyodorovnalikedanything,itwouldbe
certainnottopleaseOrlov.Whenoncominginfromshoppingshemadehastetoshow
himwithpridesomenewpurchase,hewouldglanceatitandsaycoldlythatthemore
unnecessaryobjectstheyhadintheflat,thelessairyitwouldbe.Itsometimeshappened
thatafterputtingonhisdressclothestogooutsomewhere,andaftersayinggoodbyeto
ZinaidaFyodorovna,hewouldsuddenlychangehismindandremainathomefromsheer
perversity.Iusedtothinkthatheremainedathomethensimplyinordertofeelinjured.
"Whyareyoustaying?"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,withashowofvexation,thoughatthe
sametimeshewasradiantwithdelight."Whydoyou?Youarenotaccustomedto
spendingyoureveningsathome,andIdon'twantyoutoalteryourhabitsonmyaccount.
Dogooutasusual,ifyoudon'twantmetofeelguilty."
"Nooneisblamingyou,"saidOrlov.
Withtheairofavictimhestretchedhimselfinhiseasychairinthestudy,andshading
hiseyeswithhishand,tookupabook.Butsoonthebookdroppedfromhishand,he
turnedheavilyinhischair,andagainscreenedhiseyesasthoughfromthesun.Nowhe
feltannoyedthathehadnotgoneout.
"MayIcomein?"ZinaidaFyodorovnawouldsay,comingirresolutelyintothestudy.
"Areyoureading?Ifeltdullbymyself,andhavecomejustforaminute...tohavea
peepatyou."
Irememberoneeveningshewentinlikethat,irresolutelyandinappropriately,andsank
ontherugatOrlov'sfeet,andfromhersoft,timidmovementsonecouldseethatshedid
notunderstandhismoodandwasafraid.
"Youarealwaysreading..."shesaidcajolingly,evidentlywishingtoflatterhim."Do
youknow,_George_,whatisoneofthesecretsofyoursuccess?Youareverycleverand
wellread.Whatbookhaveyouthere?"
Orlovanswered.Asilencefollowedforsomeminuteswhichseemedtomeverylong.I
wasstandinginthedrawingroom,fromwhichIcouldwatchthem,andwasafraidof
coughing.
"ThereissomethingIwantedtotellyou,"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,andshelaughed
"shallI?Verylikelyyou'lllaughandsaythatIflattermyself.YouknowIwant,Iwant
horriblytobelievethatyouarestayingathometonightformysake...thatwemight
spendtheeveningtogether.Yes?MayIthinkso?"

"Do,"hesaid,screeninghiseyes."Thereallyhappymanishewhothinksnotonlyof
whatis,butofwhatisnot."
"ThatwasalongsentencewhichIdidnotquiteunderstand.Youmeanhappypeoplelive
intheirimagination.Yes,that'strue.Ilovetositinyourstudyintheeveningandletmy
thoughtscarrymefar,faraway....It'spleasantsometimestodream.Letusdream
aloud,_George_."
"I'veneverbeenatagirls'boardingschoolIneverlearnttheart."
"Youareoutofhumour?"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,takingOrlov'shand."Tellmewhy.
Whenyouarelikethat,I'mafraid.Idon'tknowwhetheryourheadachesorwhetheryou
areangrywithme...."
Againtherewasasilencelastingseverallongminutes.
"Whyhaveyouchanged?"shesaidsoftly."Whyareyouneversotenderorsogayasyou
usedtobeatZnamenskyStreet?I'vebeenwithyoualmostamonth,butitseemstomeas
thoughwehadnotyetbeguntolive,andhavenotyettalkedofanythingasweoughtto.
Youalwaysanswermewithjokesorelsewithalongcoldlecturelikeateacher.And
thereissomethingcoldinyourjokes....Whyhaveyougivenuptalkingtome
seriously?"
"Ialwaystalkseriously."
"Well,then,letustalk.ForGod'ssake,_George_....Shallwe?"
"Certainly,butaboutwhat?"
"Letustalkofourlife,ofourfuture,"saidZinaidaFyodorovnadreamily."Ikeepmaking
plansforourlife,plansandplansandIenjoydoingitso!_George_,I'llbeginwiththe
question,whenareyougoingtogiveupyourpost?"
"Whatfor?"askedOrlov,takinghishandfromhisforehead.
"Withyourviewsyoucannotremainintheservice.Youareoutofplacethere."
"Myviews?"Orlovrepeated."Myviews?InconvictionandtemperamentIaman
ordinaryofficial,oneofShtchedrin'sheroes.Youtakemeforsomethingdifferent,I
venturetoassureyou."
"Jokingagain,_George_!"
"Notintheleast.Theservicedoesnotsatisfyme,perhapsbut,anyway,itisbetterforme
thananythingelse.Iamusedtoit,andinitImeetmenofmyownsortIaminmyplace
thereandfindittolerable."

"Youhatetheserviceanditrevoltsyou."
"Indeed?IfIresignmypost,taketodreamingaloudandlettingmyselfbecarriedaway
intoanotherworld,doyousupposethatthatworldwouldbelesshatefultomethanthe
service?"
"Youarereadytolibelyourselfinordertocontradictme."ZinaidaFyodorovnawas
offendedandgotup."IamsorryIbeganthistalk."
"Whyareyouangry?Iamnotangrywithyoufornotbeinganofficial.Everyonelivesas
helikesbest."
"Why,doyouliveasyoulikebest?Areyoufree?Tospendyourlifewritingdocuments
thatareopposedtoyourownideas,"ZinaidaFyodorovnawenton,claspingherhandsin
despair:"tosubmittoauthority,congratulateyoursuperiorsattheNewYear,andthen
cardsandnothingbutcards:worstofall,tobeworkingforasystemwhichmustbe
distastefultoyouno,_George_,no!Youshouldnotmakesuchhorridjokes.It's
dreadful.Youareamanofideas,andyououghttobeworkingforyourideasandnothing
else."
"YoureallytakemeforquiteadifferentpersonfromwhatIam,"sighedOrlov.
"Saysimplythatyoudon'twanttotalktome.Youdislikeme,that'sall,"saidZinaida
Fyodorovnathroughhertears.
"Lookhere,mydear,"saidOrlovadmonishingly,sittingupinhischair."Youwere
pleasedtoobserveyourselfthatIamaclever,wellreadman,andtoteachonewho
knowsdoesnothingbutharm.Iknowverywellalltheideas,greatandsmall,whichyou
meanwhenyoucallmeamanofideas.SoifIprefertheserviceandcardstothoseideas,
youmaybesureIhavegoodgroundsforit.That'sonething.Secondly,youhave,sofar
asIknow,neverbeenintheservice,andcanonlyhavedrawnyourideasofGovernment
servicefromanecdotesandindifferentnovels.Soitwouldnotbeamissforustomakea
compact,onceforall,nottotalkofthingsweknowalreadyorofthingsaboutwhichwe
arenotcompetenttospeak."
"Whydoyouspeaktomelikethat?"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,steppingbackasthough
inhorror."Whatfor?_George_,forGod'ssake,thinkwhatyouaresaying!"
Hervoicequiveredandbrokeshewasevidentlytryingtorestrainhertears,butshe
suddenlybrokeintosobs.
"_George_,mydarling,Iamperishing!"shesaidinFrench,droppingdownbeforeOrlov,
andlayingherheadonhisknees."Iammiserable,Iamexhausted.Ican'tbearit,Ican't
bearit....Inmychildhoodmyhateful,depravedstepmother,thenmyhusband,nowyou
...you!...Youmeetmymadlovewithcoldnessandirony....Andthathorrible,

insolentservant,"shewenton,sobbing."Yes,yes,Isee:Iamnotyourwifenoryour
friend,butawomanyoudon'trespectbecauseshehasbecomeyourmistress....Ishall
killmyself!"
IhadnotexpectedthatherwordsandhertearswouldmakesuchanimpressiononOrlov.
Heflushed,moveduneasilyinhischair,andinsteadofirony,hisfaceworealookof
stupid,schoolboyishdismay.
"Mydarling,youmisunderstoodme,"hemutteredhelplessly,touchingherhairandher
shoulders."Forgiveme,Ientreatyou.IwasunjustandIhatemyself."
"Iinsultyouwithmywhiningandcomplaints.Youareatrue,generous...raremanI
amconsciousofiteveryminutebutI'vebeenhorriblydepressedforthelastfewdays..
."
ZinaidaFyodorovnaimpulsivelyembracedOrlovandkissedhimonthecheek.
"Onlypleasedon'tcry,"hesaid.
"No,no....I'vehadmycry,andnowIambetter."
"Asfortheservant,sheshallbegonetomorrow,"hesaid,stillmovinguneasilyinhis
chair.
"No,shemuststay,_George!_Doyouhear?Iamnotafraidofhernow....Onemust
riseabovetriflesandnotimaginesillythings.Youareright!Youareawonderful,rare
person!"
Shesoonleftoffcrying.Withtearsglisteningonhereyelashes,sittingonOrlov'sknee,
shetoldhiminalowvoicesomethingtouching,somethinglikeareminiscenceof
childhoodandyouth.Shestrokedhisface,kissedhim,andcarefullyexaminedhishands
withtheringsonthemandthecharmsonhiswatchchain.Shewascarriedawaybywhat
shewassaying,andbybeingnearthemansheloved,andprobablybecausehertearshad
clearedandrefreshedhersoul,therewasanoteofwonderfulcandourandsincerityinher
voice.AndOrlovplayedwithherchestnuthairandkissedherhands,noiselesslypressing
themtohislips.
Thentheyhadteainthestudy,andZinaidaFyodorovnareadaloudsomeletters.Soon
aftermidnighttheywenttobed.Ihadafearfulpaininmysidethatnight,andInotget
warmorgotosleeptillmorning.IcouldhearOrlovgofromthebedroomintohisstudy.
Aftersittingthereaboutanhour,herangthebell.InmypainandexhaustionIforgotall
therulesandconventions,andwenttohisstudyinmynightattire,barefooted.Orlov,in
hisdressinggownandcap,wasstandinginthedoorway,waitingforme.
"Whenyouaresentforyoushouldcomedressed,"hesaidsternly."Bringsomefresh
candles."

Iwasabouttoapologise,butsuddenlybrokeintoaviolentcough,andclutchedattheside
ofthedoortosavemyselffromfalling.
"Areyouill?"saidOrlov.
Ibelieveitwasthefirsttimeofouracquaintancethatheaddressedmenotinthe
singulargoodnessknowswhy.Mostlikely,inmynightclothesandwithmyface
distortedbycoughing,Iplayedmypartpoorly,andwasverylittlelikeaflunkey.
"Ifyouareill,whydoyoutakeaplace?"hesaid.
"ThatImaynotdieofstarvation,"Ianswered.
"Howdisgustingitallis,really!"hesaidsoftly,goinguptohistable.
Whilehurriedlygettingintomycoat,Iputupandlightedfreshcandles.Hewassittingat
thetable,withfeetstretchedoutonalowchair,cuttingabook.
Ilefthimdeeplyengrossed,andthebookdidnotdropoutofhishandsasithaddonein
theevening.

VII
NowthatIamwritingtheselinesIamrestrainedbythatdreadofappearingsentimental
andridiculous,inwhichIhavebeentrainedfromchildhoodwhenIwanttobe
affectionateortosayanythingtender,Idon'tknowhowtobenatural.Anditisthat
dread,togetherwithlackofpractice,thatpreventsmefrombeingabletoexpresswith
perfectclearnesswhatwaspassinginmysoulatthattime.
IwasnotinlovewithZinaidaFyodorovna,butintheordinaryhumanfeelingIhadfor
her,therewasfarmoreyouth,freshness,andjoyousnessthaninOrlov'slove.
AsIworkedinthemorning,cleaningbootsorsweepingtherooms,Iwaitedwithathrill
atmyheartforthemomentwhenIshouldhearhervoiceandherfootsteps.Tostand
watchingherasshedrankhercoffeeinthemorningorateherlunch,toholdherfurcoat
forherinthehall,andtoputthegoloshesonherlittlefeetwhilesherestedherhandon
myshoulderthentowaittillthehallporterrangupforme,tomeetheratthedoor,cold,
androsy,powderedwiththesnow,tolistentoherbriefexclamationsaboutthefrostor
thecabmanifonlyyouknewhowmuchallthatmeanttome!Ilongedtobeinlove,to
haveawifeandchildofmyown.Iwantedmyfuturewifetohavejustsuchaface,sucha
voice.Idreamedofitatdinner,andin thestreetwhenIwassentonsomeerrand,and
whenIlayawakeatnight.Orlovrejectedwithdisgustchildren,cooking,copper
saucepans,andfeminineknicknacksandIgatheredthemallup,tenderlycherishedthem
inmydreams,lovedthem,andbeggedthemofdestiny.Ihadvisionsofawife,anursery,
alittlehousewithgardenpaths....
IknewthatifIdidloveherIcouldneverdarehopeforthemiracleofherreturningmy
love,butthatreflectiondidnotworryme.Inmyquiet,modestfeelingakintoordinary
affection,therewasnojealousyofOrlovorevenenvyofhim,sinceIrealisedthatfora
wrecklikemehappinesswasonlytobefoundindreams.
WhenZinaidaFyodorovnasatupnightafternightforher_George_,lookingimmovably
atabook ofwhichsheneverturnedapage,orwhensheshudderedandturnedpaleat
Polya'scrossingtheroom,Isufferedwithher,andtheideaoccurredtometolancethis
festeringwoundasquicklyaspossiblebylettingherknowwhatwassaidhereatsupper
on Thursdaysbuthowwasittobedone?MoreandmoreoftenIsawhertears.Forthe
firstweeksshelaughedandsangtoherself,evenwhenOrlovwasnotathome,butbythe
secondmonththerewasamournfulstillnessinourflatbrokenonlyonThursday
evenings.
SheflatteredOrlov,andtowringfromhimacounterfeitsmileorkiss,wasreadytogoon
herkneestohim,tofawnonhimlikeadog.Evenwhenherheartwasheaviest,shecould
notresistglancingintoalookingglassifshepassedoneandstraighteningherhair.It
seemedstrangetomethatshecouldstilltakeaninterestinclothesandgointoecstasies
overherpurchases.Itdidnotseeminkeepingwithhergenuinegrief.Shepaidattention
tothefashionsandorderedexpensivedresses.Whatfor?Onwhoseaccount?I

particularlyrememberonedresswhichcostfourhundredroubles.Togivefourhundred
roublesforanunnecessary,uselessdresswhilewomenfortheirhardday'sworkgetonly
twentykopecksadaywithoutfood,andthemakersofVeniceandBrusselslaceareonly
paidhalfafrancadayonthesuppositionthattheycanearntherestbyimmorality!And
itseemedstrangetomethatZinaidaFyodorovnawasnotconsciousofititvexedme.
Butshehadonlytogooutofthehouseformetofindexcusesandexplanationsfor
everything,andtobewaitingeagerlyforthehallportertoringforme.
Shetreatedmeasaflunkey,abeingofalowerorder.Onemaypatadog,andyetnot
noticeitIwasgivenordersandaskedquestions,butmypresencewasnotobserved.My
masterandmistressthoughtitunseemlytosaymoretomethanisusuallysaidto
servantsifwhenwaitingatdinnerIhadlaughedorputinmywordintheconversation,
theywouldcertainlyhavethoughtIwasmadandhavedismissedme.Zinaida
Fyodorovnawasfavourablydisposedtome,allthesame.Whenshewassendingmeon
someerrandorexplainingtometheworkingofanewlamporanythingofthatsort,her
facewasextraordinarilykind,frank,andcordial,andhereyeslookedmestraightinthe
face.AtsuchmomentsIalwaysfanciedsherememberedwithgratitudehowIusedto
bringherletterstoZnamenskyStreet.Whensherangthebell,Polya,whoconsideredme
herfavouriteandhatedmeforit,usedtosaywithajeeringsmile:
"Goalong,_your_mistresswantsyou."
ZinaidaFyodorovnaconsideredmeasabeingofalowerorder,anddidnotsuspectthatif
anyoneinthehousewereinahumiliatingpositionitwasshe.ShedidnotknowthatI,a
footman,wasunhappyonheraccount,andusedtoaskmyselftwentytimesadaywhat
wasinstoreforherandhowitwouldallend.Thingsweregrowingvisiblyworsedayby
day.Aftertheeveningonwhichtheyhadtalkedofhisofficialwork,Orlov,whocould
notenduretears,unmistakablybegantoavoidconversationwithherwheneverZinaida
Fyodorovnabegantoargue,ortobeseechhim,orseemedonthepointofcrying,he
seizedsomeplausibleexcuseforretreatingtohisstudyorgoingout.Hemoreandmore
rarelysleptathome,andstillmorerarelydinedthere:onThursdayshewastheoneto
suggestsomeexpeditiontohisfriends.ZinaidaFyodorovnawasstilldreamingofhaving
thecookingdoneathome,ofmovingtoanewflat,oftravellingabroad,butherdreams
remaineddreams.Dinnerwassentinfromtherestaurant.Orlovaskedhernottobroach
thequestionofmovinguntilaftertheyhadcomebackfromabroad,andaproposoftheir
foreigntour,declaredthattheycouldnotgotillhishairhadgrownlong,asonecouldnot
go trailingfromhoteltohotelandservingtheideawithoutlonghair.
Tocrownitall,inOrlov'sabsence,Kukushkinbegancallingattheflatintheevening.
Therewasnothingexceptionalinhisbehaviour,butIcouldneverforgettheconversation
inwhichhehadofferedtocutOrlovout.Hewasregaledwithteaandredwine,andhe
usedtotitterand,anxioustosaysomethingpleasant,woulddeclarethatafreeunionwas
superiorineveryrespecttolegalmarriage,andthatalldecentpeopleoughtreally to
cometoZinaidaFyodorovnaandfallatherfeet.

VIII
Christmaswasspentdrearilyinvagueanticipationsofcalamity.OnNewYear'sEve
Orlovunexpectedlyannouncedatbreakfastthathewasbeingsenttoassistasenatorwho
wasonarevisingcommissioninacertainprovince.
"Idon'twanttogo,butIcan'tfindanexcusetogetoff,"hesaidwithvexation."Imust
gothere'snothingforit."
SuchnewsinstantlymadeZinaidaFyodorovna'seyeslookred."Isitforlong?"she
asked.
"Fivedaysorso."
"Iamglad,really,youaregoing,"shesaidafteramoment'sthought."Itwillbeachange
foryou.Youwillfallinlovewithsomeoneontheway,andtellmeaboutitafterwards."
AteveryopportunityshetriedtomakeOrlovfeelthatshedidnotrestricthislibertyin
anyway,andthathecoulddoexactlyasheliked,andthisartless,transparentstrategy
deceivednoone,andonlyunnecessarilyremindedOrlovthathewasnotfree.
"Iamgoingthisevening,"hesaid,andbeganreadingthepaper.
ZinaidaFyodorovnawantedtoseehimoffatthestation,buthedissuadedher,sayingthat
hewasnotgoingtoAmerica,andnotgoingtobeawayfiveyears,butonlyfivedays
possiblyless.
Thepartingtookplacebetweensevenandeight.Heputonearmroundher,andkissed
heronthelipsandontheforehead.
"Beagoodgirl,anddon'tbedepressedwhileIamaway,"hesaidinawarm,affectionate
tonewhichtouchedevenme."Godkeepyou!"
Shelookedgreedilyintohisface,tostamphisdearfeaturesonhermemory,thensheput
herarmsgracefullyroundhisneckandlaidherheadonhisbreast.
"Forgivemeourmisunderstandings,"shesaidinFrench."Husbandandwifecannothelp
quarrellingiftheyloveeachother,andIloveyoumadly.Don'tforgetme....Wiretome
oftenandfully."
Orlovkissedheroncemore,and,withoutsayingaword,wentoutinconfusion.Whenhe
heardtheclickofthelockasthedoorclosed,hestoodstillinthemiddleofthestaircase
inhesitationandglancedupwards.Itseemedtomethatifasoundhadreachedhimatthat
momentfromabove,hewouldhaveturnedback.Butallwasquiet.Hestraightenedhis
coatandwentdownstairsirresolutely.

Thesledgeshadbeenwaitingalongwhileatthedoor.Orlovgotintoone,Igotintothe
otherwithtwoportmanteaus.Itwasahardfrostandtherewerefiressmokingatthe
crossroads.Thecoldwindnippedmyfaceandhands,andtookmybreathawayaswe
droverapidlyalongand,closingmyeyes,Ithoughtwhatasplendidwomanshewas.
Howshelovedhim!Evenuselessrubbishiscollectedinthecourtyardsnowadaysand
usedforsomepurpose,evenbrokenglassisconsideredausefulcommodity,but
somethingsoprecious,sorare,astheloveofarefined,young,intelligent,andgood
womanisutterlythrownawayandwasted.Oneoftheearlysociologistsregardedevery
evilpassionasaforcewhichmightbyjudiciousmanagementbeturnedtogood,while
amongusevenafine,noblepassionspringsupanddiesawayinimpotence,turnedtono
account,misunderstoodorvulgarised.Whyisit?
Thesledgesstoppedunexpectedly.IopenedmyeyesandIsawthatwehadcometoa
standstillinSergievskyStreet,nearabighousewherePekarskylived.Orlovgotoutof
thesledgeandvanishedintotheentry.FiveminuteslaterPekarsky'sfootmancameout,
bareheaded,and,angrywiththefrost,shoutedtome:
"Areyoudeaf?Paythecabmenandgoupstairs.Youarewanted!"
Atacompleteloss,Iwenttothefirststorey.IhadbeentoPekarsky'sflatbeforethatis,I
hadstoodinthehallandlookedintothedrawingroom,and,afterthedamp,gloomy
street,italwaysstruckmebythebrillianceofitspictureframes,itsbronzesand
expensivefurniture.TodayinthemidstofthissplendourI sawGruzin,Kukushkin,and,
afteraminute,Orlov.
"Lookhere,Stepan,"hesaid,cominguptome."IshallbestayingheretillFridayor
Saturday.Ifanylettersortelegramscome,youmustbringthemhereeveryday.Athome,
ofcourseyouwillsaythatIhavegone,andsendmygreetings.Nowyoucango."
WhenIreachedhomeZinaidaFyodorovnawaslyingonthesofainthedrawingroom,
eatingapear.Therewasonlyonecandleburninginthecandelabra.
"Didyoucatchthetrain?"askedZinaidaFyodorovna.
"Yes,madam.Hishonoursendshisgreetings."
IwentintomyroomandI,too,laydown.Ihadnothingtodo,andIdidnotwanttoread.
IwasnotsurprisedandIwasnotindignant.Ionlyrackedmybrainstothinkwhythis
deceptionwasnecessary.Itisonlyboysintheirteenswhodeceivetheirmistresseslike
that.Howwasitthatamanwhohadthoughtandreadsomuchcouldnotimagine
anythingmoresensible?ImustconfessIhadbynomeansapooropinionofhis
intelligence.Ibelieveifhehadhadtodeceivehisministeroranyotherinfluentialperson
hewouldhaveputagreatdealofskillandenergyintodoingsobuttodeceiveawoman,
thefirstideathatoccurredtohimwasevidentlygoodenough.Ifitsucceededwelland

goodifitdidnot,therewouldbenoharmdonehecouldtellsomeotherliejustas
quicklyandsimply,withnomentaleffort.
Atmidnightwhenthepeopleontheflooroverheadweremovingtheirchairsand
shoutinghurrahtowelcometheNewYear,ZinaidaFyodorovnarangformefromthe
roomnexttothestudy.Languidfromlyingdownsolong,shewassittingatthetable,
writingsomethingonascrapofpaper.
"Imustsendatelegram,"shesaid,withasmile."Gotothestationasquickasyoucan
andaskthemtosenditafterhim."
Goingoutintothestreet,Ireadonthescrapofpaper:
"MaytheNewYearbringnewhappiness.MakehasteandtelegraphImissyou
dreadfully.Itseemsaneternity.IamonlysorryIcan'tsendathousandkissesandmy
veryheartbytelegraph.Enjoyyourself,mydarling.ZINA."
Isentthetelegram,andnextmorningIgaveherthereceipt.

IX
TheworstofitwasthatOrlovhadthoughtlesslyletPolya,too,intothesecretofhis
deception,tellinghertobringhisshirtstoSergievskyStreet.Afterthat,shelookedat
ZinaidaFyodorovnawithamalignantjoyandhatredIcouldnotunderstand,andwas
nevertiredofsnortingwithdelighttoherselfinherownroomandinthehall.
"She'soutstayedherwelcomeit'stimeshetookherselfoff!"shewouldsaywithzest.
"Sheoughttorealisethatherself...."
ShealreadydivinedbyinstinctthatZinaidaFyodorovnawouldnotbewithusmuch
longer,and,nottoletthechanceslip,carriedoffeverythingshesethereyeson
smellingbottles,tortoiseshellhairpins,handkerchiefs,shoes!OnthedayafterNew
Year'sDay,ZinaidaFyodorovnasummonedmetoherroomandtoldmeinalowvoice
thatshemissedherblackdress.Andthenshewalkedthroughalltherooms,withapale,
frightened,andindignantface,talkingtoherself:
"It'stoomuch!It'sbeyondeverything.Why,it'sunheardofinsolence!"
Atdinnershetriedtohelpherselftosoup,butcouldnotherhandsweretrembling.Her
lipsweretrembling,too.Shelookedhelplesslyatthesoupandatthelittlepies,waiting
forthetremblingtopassoff,andsuddenlyshecouldnotresistlookingatPolya.
"Youcango,Polya,"shesaid."Stepanisenoughbyhimself."
"I'llstayIdon'tmind,"answeredPolya.
"There'snoneedforyoutostay.Yougoawayaltogether,"ZinaidaFyodorovnawenton,
gettingupingreatagitation."Youmaylookoutforanotherplace.Youcangoatonce."
"Ican'tgoawaywithoutthemaster'sorders.Heengagedme.Itmustbeasheorders."
"Youcantakeordersfromme,too!Iammistresshere!"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,and
sheflushedcrimson.
"Youmaybethemistress,butonlythemastercandismissme.Itwasheengagedme."
"Youdarenotstayhereanotherminute!"criedZinaidaFyodorovna,andshestruckthe
platewithherknife."Youareathief!Doyouhear?"
ZinaidaFyodorovnaflungherdinnernapkinonthetable,andwithapitiful,suffering
face,wentquicklyoutoftheroom.Loudlysobbingandwailingsomethingindistinct,
Polya,too,wentaway.Thesoupandthegrousegotcold.Andforsomereasonallthe
restaurantdaintiesonthetablestruckmeaspoor,thievish,likePolya.Twopiesona
platehadaparticularlymiserableandguiltyair."Weshallbetakenbacktotherestaurant

today,"they seemedtobesaying,"andtomorrowweshallbeputonthetableagainfor
someofficialorcelebratedsinger."
"Sheisafinelady,indeed,"IheardutteredinPolya'sroom."Icouldhavebeenalady
likethatlongago,butIhavesomeselfrespect!We'llseewhichofuswillbethefirstto
go!"
ZinaidaFyodorovnarangthebell.Shewassittinginherroom,inthecorner,lookingas
thoughshehadbeenputinthecornerasapunishment.
"Notelegramhascome?"sheasked.
"No,madam."
"Asktheporterperhapsthereisatelegram.Anddon'tleavethehouse,"shecalledafter
me."Iamafraidtobeleftalone."
AfterthatIhadtorundownalmosteveryhourtoasktheporterwhetheratelegramhad
come.Imustownitwasadreadfultime!ToavoidseeingPolya,ZinaidaFyodorovna
dinedandhadteainherownroomitwasherethatsheslept,too,onashortsofalikea
halfmoon,andshemadeherownbed.ForthefirstdaysItookthetelegramsbut,getting
noanswer,shelostherfaithinmeandbegan telegraphingherself.Lookingather,I,too,
beganimpatientlyhopingforatelegram.Ihopedhewouldcontrivesomedeception,
wouldmakearrangements,forinstance,thatatelegramshouldbesenttoherfromsome
station.Ifheweretoomuchengrossedwithcardsorhadbeenattractedbysomeother
woman,IthoughtthatbothGruzinandKukushkinwouldremindhimofus.Butour
expectationswerevain.FivetimesadayIwouldgointoZinaidaFyodorovna,intending
totellherthetruth,Buthereyeslookedpiteousasafawn's,hershouldersseemedto
droop,herlipsweremoving,andIwentawayagainwithoutsayingaword.Pityand
sympathyseemedtorobmeofallmanliness.Polya,ascheerfulandwellsatisfiedwith
herselfasthoughnothinghadhappened,wastidyingthemaster'sstudyandthebedroom,
rummaginginthecupboards,andmakingthecrockeryjingle,andwhenshepassed
ZinaidaFyodorovna'sdoor,shehummedsomethingandcoughed.Shewaspleasedthat
hermistresswashidingfromher.Intheeveningshewouldgooutsomewhere,andrang
attwoorthreeo'clockinthemorning,andIhadtoopenthedoortoherandlistento
remarksaboutmycough.ImmediatelyafterwardsIwouldhearanotherringIwouldrun
totheroomnexttothestudy,andZinaidaFyodorovna,puttingherheadoutofthedoor,
wouldask,"Whowasitrung?"whileshelookedatmyhandstoseewhetherIhada
telegram.
WhenatlastonSaturdaythebellrangbelowandsheheardthefamiliarvoiceonthe
stairs,shewassodelightedthatshebrokeintosobs.Sherushedtomeethim,embraced
him,kissedhimonthebreastandsleeves,saidsomethingonecouldnotunderstand.The
hallporterbroughtuptheportmanteausPolya'scheerfulvoicewasheard.Itwasas
thoughsomeonehadcomehomefortheholidays.

"Whydidn'tyouwire?"askedZinaidaFyodorovna,breathlesswithjoy."Whywasit?I
havebeeninmiseryIdon'tknowhowI'velivedthroughit....Oh,myGod!"
"Itwasverysimple!IreturnedwiththesenatortoMoscowthevery firstday,anddidn't
getyourtelegrams,"saidOrlov."Afterdinner,mylove,I'llgiveyouafullaccountofmy
doings,butnowImustsleepandsleep....Iamwornoutwiththejourney."
Itwasevidentthathehadnotsleptallnighthehadprobablybeenplayingcardsand
drinkingfreely.ZinaidaFyodorovnaputhimtobed,andweallwalkedaboutontiptoeall
thatday.Thedinnerwentoffquitesatisfactorily,butwhentheywentintothestudyand
hadcoffeetheexplanationbegan.ZinaidaFyodorovnabegantalkingofsomething
rapidlyinalowvoiceshespokeinFrench,andherwordsflowedlikeastream.ThenI
heardaloudsighfromOrlov,andhisvoice.
"MyGod!"hesaidinFrench."Haveyoureallynothingfreshertotellmethanthis
everlastingtaleofyourservant'smisdeeds?"
"But,mydear,sherobbedmeandsaidinsultingthingstome."
"Butwhyisitshedoesn'trobmeorsayinsultingthingstome?WhyisitInevernotice
themaidsnortheportersnorthefootmen?Mydear,youaresimplycapriciousandrefuse
toknowyourownmind....Ireallybegintosuspectthatyoumustbeinacertain
condition.WhenIofferedtolethergo,youinsistedonherremaining,andnowyouwant
metoturnheraway.Icanbeobstinate,too,insuchcases.Youwanthertogo,butIwant
hertoremain.That'stheonlywaytocureyouofyournerves."
"Oh,verywell,verywell,"saidZinaidaFyodorovnainalarm."Letussaynomoreabout
that....Letusputitofftilltomorrow....NowtellmeaboutMoscow....Whatis
goingoninMoscow?"

X
AfterlunchnextdayitwastheseventhofJanuary,St.JohntheBaptist'sDayOrlovput
onhisblackdresscoatandhisdecorationtogotovisithisfatherandcongratulatehimon
hisnameday.Hehadtogoattwoo'clock,anditwasonlyhalfpastonewhenhehad
finisheddressing.Whatwashetodoforthathalfhour?Hewalkedaboutthedrawing
room,declaimingsomecongratulatoryverseswhichhehadrecitedasachildtohisfather
andmother.
ZinaidaFyodorovna,whowasjustgoingouttoadressmaker'sortotheshops,was
sitting,listeningtohimwithasmile.Idon'tknowhowtheirconversationbegan,but
whenItookOrlovhisgloves,hewasstandingbeforeherwithacapricious,beseeching
face,saying:
"ForGod'ssake,inthenameofeverythingthat'sholy,don'ttalkofthingsthateverybody
knows!Whatanunfortunategiftourintellectualthoughtfulladieshavefortalkingwith
enthusiasmandanairofprofundityofthingsthateveryschoolboyissicktodeathof!Ah,
ifonlyyouwouldexcludefromourconjugalprogrammealltheseseriousquestions!
HowgratefulIshouldbetoyou!"
"Wewomenmaynotdare,itseems,tohaveviewsofourown."
"Igiveyoufulllibertytobeasliberalasyoulike,andquotefromanyauthorsyou
choose,butmakemeoneconcession:don'tholdforthinmypresenceoneitheroftwo
subjects:thecorruptionoftheupperclassesandtheevilsofthemarriagesystem.Do
understandme,atlast.Theupperclassisalwaysabusedincontrastwiththeworldof
tradesmen,priests,workmenandpeasants,SidorsandNikitasofallsorts.Idetestboth
classes,butifIhadhonestlytochoosebetweenthetwo,Ishouldwithouthesitation,
prefertheupperclass,andtherewouldbenofalsityoraffectationaboutit,sinceallmy
tastesareinthatdirection.Ourworldistrivialandempty,butatanyratewespeak
Frenchdecently,readsomething,anddon'tpuncheachotherintheribseveninourmost
violentquarrels,whiletheSidorsandtheNikitasandtheirworshipsintradetalkabout
'beingquiteagreeable,''inajiffy,''blastyoureyes,'anddisplaytheutmostlicenseof
pothousemannersandthemostdegradingsuperstition."
"Thepeasantandthetradesmanfeedyou."
"Yes,butwhatofit?That'snotonlytomydiscredit,buttotheirstoo.Theyfeedmeand
takeofftheircapstome,soitseemstheyhavenottheintelligenceandhonestytodo
otherwise.Idon'tblameorpraiseanyone:Ionlymeanthattheupperclassandthelower
areasbadasoneanother.Myfeelingsandmyintelligenceareopposedtoboth,butmy
tastesliemoreinthedirectionoftheformer.Well,nowfortheevilsofmarriage,"Orlov
wenton,glancingathiswatch."It'shightimeforyoutounderstandthattherearenoevils
inthesystemitselfwhatisthematteristhatyoudon'tknowyourselveswhatyouwant
frommarriage.Whatisityouwant?Inlegalandillegalcohabitation,ineverysortof

unionandcohabitation,goodorbad,theunderlyingrealityisthesame.Youladieslive
forthatunderlyingrealityalone:foryouit'severythingyourexistencewouldhaveno
meaningforyouwithoutit.Youwantnothingbutthat,andyougetitbutsinceyou've
takentoreadingnovelsyouareashamedofit:yourushfrompillartopost,yourecklessly
changeyourmen,andtojustifythisturmoilyouhavebeguntalkingoftheevilsof
marriage.Solongasyoucan'tandwon'trenouncewhatunderliesitall,yourchieffoe,
yourdevil solongasyouservethatslavishly,whatuseisthereindiscussingthematter
seriously?Everythingyoumaysaytomewillbefalsityandaffectation.Ishallnot
believeyou."
Iwenttofindoutfromthehallporterwhetherthesledgewasatthedoor,andwhenI
camebackIfoundithadbecomeaquarrel.Assailorssay,asquallhadblownup.
"Iseeyouwanttoshockmebyyourcynicismtoday,"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,walking
aboutthedrawingroomingreatemotion."Itrevoltsmetolistentoyou.Iampurebefore
Godandman,andhavenothingtorepentof.Ileftmyhusbandandcametoyou,andam
proudofit.Iswear,onmyhonour,Iamproudofit!"
"Well,that'sallright,then!"
"Ifyouareadecent,honestman,you,too,oughttobeproudofwhatIdid.Itraisesyou
andmeabovethousandsofpeoplewhowouldliketodoaswehavedone,butdonot
venturethroughcowardiceorpettyprudence.Butyouarenotadecentman.Youare
afraidoffreedom,andyoumockthepromptingsofgenuinefeeling,fromfearthatsome
ignoramusmaysuspectyouofbeingsincere.Youareafraidtoshowmetoyourfriends
there'snogreaterinflictionforyouthantogoaboutwithmeinthestreet....Isn'tthat
true?Whyhaven'tyouintroducedmetoyourfatheroryourcousinall thistime?Whyis
it?No,Iamsickofitatlast,"criedZinaidaFyodorovna,stamping."Idemandwhatis
minebyright.Youmustpresentmetoyourfather."
"Ifyouwanttoknowhim,goandpresentyourself.Hereceivesvisitorseverymorning
fromtentillhalfpast."
"Howbaseyouare!"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,wringingherhandsindespair."Evenif
youarenotsincere,andarenotsayingwhatyouthink,Imighthateyouforyourcruelty.
Oh,howbaseyouare!"
"Wekeepgoingroundandroundandneverreachtherealpoint.Therealpointisthatyou
madeamistake,andyouwon'tacknowledgeitaloud.YouimaginedthatIwasahero,
andthatIhadsomeextraordinaryideasandideals,andithasturnedoutthatIamamost
ordinaryofficial,acardplayer,andhavenopartialityforideasofanysort.Iamaworthy
representativeoftherottenworldfromwhichyouhaverunawaybecauseyouwere
revoltedwithitstrivialityandemptiness.Recogniseitandbejust:don'tbeindignantwith
me,butwithyourself,asitisyourmistake,andnotmine."
"Yes,IadmitIwasmistaken."

"Well,that'sallright,then.We'vereachedthatpointatlast,thankGod.Nowhear
somethingmore,ifyouplease:Ican'trisetoyourlevelIamtoodepravedyoucan't
descendtomylevel,either,foryouaretooexalted.Sothereisonlyonethinglefttodo..
.."
"What?"ZinaidaFyodorovnaaskedquickly,holdingherbreathandturningsuddenlyas
whiteasasheetofpaper.
"Tocalllogictoouraid...."
"Georgy,whyareyoutorturingme?"ZinaidaFyodorovnasaidsuddenlyinRussianina
breakingvoice."Whatisitfor?Thinkofmymisery
...."
Orlov,afraidoftears,wentquicklyintohisstudy,andIdon'tknowwhywhetheritwas
thathewishedtocauseherextrapain,orwhetherheremembereditwasusuallydonein
suchcaseshelockedthedoorafterhim.Shecriedoutandranafterhimwitharustleof
herskirt.
"Whatdoesthismean?"shecried,knockingathisdoor."What...whatdoesthismean?"
sherepeatedinashrillvoicebreakingwithindignation."Ah,sothisiswhatyoudo!Then
letmetellyouIhateyou,Idespiseyou!Everythingisoverbetweenusnow."
Iheardhystericalweepingmingledwithlaughter.Somethingsmallinthedrawingroom
felloffthetableandwasbroken.Orlovwentoutintothehallbyanotherdoor,and,
lookingroundhimnervously,hehurriedlyputonhisgreatcoatandwentout.
Halfanhourpassed,anhour,andshewasstillweeping.Irememberedthatshehadno
fatherormother,norelations,andhereshewaslivingbetweenamanwhohatedherand
Polya,whorobbedherandhowdesolateherlifeseemedtome!Idonotknowwhy,but
Iwentintothedrawingroomtoher.Weakandhelpless,lookingwithherlovelyhairlike
anembodimentoftendernessandgrace,shewasinanguish,asthoughshewereillshe
waslyingonacouch,hidingherface,andquiveringallover.
"Madam,shouldn'tIfetchadoctor?"Iaskedgently.
"No,there'snoneed...it'snothing,"shesaid,andshelookedatmewithhertearstained
eyes."Ihavealittleheadache....Thankyou."
Iwentout,andintheeveningshewaswritingletterafterletter,andsentmeoutfirstto
Pekarsky,thentoGruzin,thentoKukushkin,andfinallyanywhereIchose,ifonlyI
couldfindOrlovandgivehimtheletter.EverytimeIcamebackwiththelettershe
scoldedme,entreatedme,thrustmoneyintomyhandasthoughshewereinafever.And
allthenightshedidnotsleep,butsatinthedrawingroom,talkingtoherself.

Orlovreturnedtodinnernextday,andtheywerereconciled.
ThefirstThursdayafterwardsOrlovcomplainedtohisfriendsoftheintolerablelifehe
ledhesmokedagreatdeal,andsaidwithirritation:
"Itisnolifeatallit'stherack.Tears,wailing,intellectualconversations,beggingfor
forgiveness,againtearsandwailingandthelongandtheshortofitisthatIhavenoflat
ofmyownnow.Iamwretched,andImakeherwretched.SurelyIhaven'ttoliveanother
monthortwolikethis?HowcanI?ButyetImayhaveto."
"Whydon'tyouspeak,then?"saidPekarsky.
"I'vetried,butIcan't.Onecanboldlytellthetruth,whateveritmaybe,toan
independent,rationalmanbutinthiscaseonehastodowithacreaturewhohasnowill,
nostrengthofcharacter,andnologic.Icannotenduretearstheydisarmme.Whenshe
cries,Iamreadytosweareternalloveandcrymyself."
Pekarskydidnotunderstandhescratchedhisbroadforeheadinperplexityandsaid:
"Youreallyhadbettertakeanotherflatforher.It'ssosimple!"
"Shewantsme,nottheflat.Butwhat'sthegoodoftalking?"sighedOrlov."Ionlyhear
endlessconversations,butnowayoutofmyposition.Itcertainlyisacaseof'being
guiltywithoutguilt.'Idon'tclaimtobeamushroom,butitseemsI'vegottogointothe
basket.ThelastthingI'veeversetouttobeisahero.InevercouldendureTurgenev's
novelsandnow,allofasudden,asthoughtospiteme,I'veheroismforceduponme.I
assureheron myhonourthatI'mnotaheroatall,Iadduceirrefutableproofsofthesame,
butshedoesn'tbelieveme.Whydoesn'tshebelieveme?IsupposeIreallymusthave
somethingoftheappearanceofahero."
"Yougooffonatourofinspectionintheprovinces,"saidKukushkin,laughing.
"Yes,that'stheonlythingleftforme."
AweekafterthisconversationOrlovannouncedthathewasagainorderedtoattendthe
senator,andthesameeveninghewentoffwithhisportmanteaustoPekarsky.

XI
Anoldmanofsixty,inalongfurcoatreachingtotheground,andabeavercap,was
standingatthedoor.
"IsGeorgyIvanitchathome?"heasked.
AtfirstIthoughtitwasoneofthemoneylenders,Gruzin'screditors,whosometimesused
tocometoOrlovforsmallpaymentsonaccountbutwhenhecameintothehalland
flungopenhiscoat,Isawthethickbrowsandthecharacteristicallycompressedlips
whichIknewsowellfromthephotographs,andtworowsofstarsontheuniform.I
recognisedhim:itwasOrlov'sfather,thedistinguishedstatesman.
IansweredthatGeorgyIvanitchwasnotathome.Theoldmanpurseduphislipstightly
andlookedintospace,reflecting,showingmehisdriedup,toothlessprofile.
"I'llleaveanote,"hesaid"showmein."
Helefthisgoloshesinthehall,and,withouttakingoffhislong,heavyfurcoat,wentinto
thestudy.Therehesatdownbeforethetable,and,beforetakingupthepen,forthree
minuteshepondered,shadinghiseyeswithhishandasthoughfromthesunexactlyas
hissondidwhenhewasoutofhumour.Hisfacewassad,thoughtful,withthatlookof
resignationwhichIhaveonlyseenonthefacesoftheoldandreligious.Istoodbehind
him,gazedathisbaldheadandatthehollowatthenapeofhisneck,anditwasclearas
daylighttomethatthisweakoldmanwasnowinmypower.Therewasnotasoulinthe
flatexceptmyenemyandme.Ihadonlytousealittlephysicalviolence,thensnatchhis
watchtodisguisetheobjectofthecrime,andtogetoffby thebackway,andIshould
havegainedinfinitelymorethanIcouldhaveimaginedpossiblewhenItookupthepart
ofafootman.IthoughtthatIcouldhardlygetabetteropportunity.Butinsteadofacting,
Ilookedquiteunconcernedly,firstathisbaldpatchandthenathisfur,andcalmly
meditatedonthisman'srelationtohisonlyson,andonthefactthatpeoplespoiledby
powerandwealthprobablydon'twanttodie....
"Haveyoubeenlonginmyson'sservice?"heasked,writingalargehandon thepaper.
"Threemonths,yourHighExcellency."
Hefinishedtheletterandstoodup.Istillhadtime.Iurgedmyselfonandclenchedmy
fists,tryingtowringoutofmysoulsometraceofmyformerhatredIrecalledwhata
passionate,implacable,obstinatehateIhadfeltforhimonlyalittlewhilebefore....But
itisdifficulttostrikeamatchagainstacrumblingstone.Thesadoldfaceandthecold
glitterofhisstarsrousedinmenothingbutpetty,cheap,unnecessarythoughtsofthe
transitorinessofeverythingearthly,ofthenearnessofdeath....
"Goodday,brother,"saidtheoldman.Heputonhiscapandwentout.

Therecouldbenodoubtaboutit:IhadundergoneachangeIhadbecomedifferent.To
convincemyself,Ibegantorecall thepast,butatonceIfeltuneasy,asthoughIhad
accidentallypeepedintoadark,dampcorner.Irememberedmycomradesandfriends,
andmyfirstthoughtwashowIshouldblushinconfusionifeverImetanyofthem.What
wasInow?WhathadItothinkofandtodo?WherewasItogo?WhatwasIlivingfor?
Icouldmakenothingofit.IonlyknewonethingthatImustmakehastetopackmy
thingsandbeoff.Beforetheoldman'svisitmypositionasaflunkeyhadameaningnow
itwasabsurd.TearsdroppedintomyopenportmanteauIfeltinsufferablysadbuthowI
longedtolive!Iwasreadytoembraceandincludeinmyshortlifeeverypossibilityopen
toman.Iwantedtospeak,toread,andtohammerinsomebigfactory,andtostandon
watch,andtoplough.IyearnedfortheNevskyProspect,fortheseaandthefieldsfor
everyplacetowhichmyimaginationtravelled.WhenZinaidaFyodorovnacamein,I
rushedtoopenthedoorforher,andwithpeculiartendernesstookoffherfurcoat.The
lasttime!
Wehadtwoothervisitorsthatdaybesidestheoldman.Intheeveningwhenitwasquite
dark,GruzincametofetchsomepapersforOrlov.Heopenedthetabledrawer,tookthe
necessarypapers,and,rollingthemup,toldmetoputtheminthehallbesidehiscap
whilehewentintoseeZinaidaFyodorovna.Shewaslyingonthesofainthedrawing
room,withherarmsbehindherhead.FiveorsixdayshadalreadypassedsinceOrlov
wentonhistourofinspection,andnooneknewwhenhewouldbeback,butthistimeshe
didnotsendtelegramsanddidnotexpectthem.Shedidnotseemtonoticethepresence
ofPolya,whowasstilllivingwithus."Sobeit,then,"waswhatIreadonherpassionless
andverypaleface.LikeOrlov,shewantedtobeunhappyout ofobstinacy.Tospite
herselfandeverythingintheworld,shelayfordaystogetheronthesofa,desiringand
expectingnothingbutevilforherself.ProbablyshewaspicturingtoherselfOrlov's
returnandtheinevitablequarrelswithhimthenhisgrowingindifferencetoher,his
infidelitiesthenhowtheywouldseparateandperhapstheseagonisingthoughtsgaveher
satisfaction.Butwhatwouldshehavesaidifshefoundouttheactualtruth?
"Iloveyou,Godmother,"saidGruzin,greetingherandkissingherhand."Youareso
kind!Andsodear_George_hasgoneaway,"helied."Hehasgoneaway,therascal!"
Hesatdownwithasighandtenderlystrokedherhand.
"Letmespendanhourwithyou,mydear,"hesaid."Idon'twanttogohome,andit'stoo
earlytogototheBirshovs'.TheBirshovsarekeepingtheirKatya'sbirthdaytoday.She
isanicechild!"
Ibroughthimaglassofteaandadecanterofbrandy.Heslowlyandwithobvious
reluctancedrankthetea,andreturningtheglasstome,askedtimidly:
"Canyougiveme...somethingtoeat,myfriend?Ihavehadnodinner."

Wehadnothingintheflat.Iwenttotherestaurantandbroughthimtheordinaryrouble
dinner.
"Toyourhealth,mydear,"hesaidtoZinaidaFyodorovna,andhetossedoffaglassof
vodka."Mylittlegirl,yourgodchild,sendsyouherlove.Poorchild!she'srickety.Ah,
children,children!"hesighed."Whateveryoumaysay,Godmother,itisnicetobea
father.Dear_George_can'tunderstandthatfeeling."
Hedranksomemore.Paleandlean,withhisdinnernapkinoverhischestlikealittle
pinafore,heategreedily,andraisinghiseyebrows,keptlookingguiltily,likealittleboy,
firstatZinaidaFyodorovnaandthenatme.Itseemedasthoughhewouldhavebegun
cryingifIhadnotgivenhimthegrouseorthejelly.Whenhehadsatisfiedhishungerhe
grewmorelively,andbeganlaughinglytellingsomestoryabouttheBirshovhousehold,
butperceivingthatitwastiresomeandthatZinaidaFyodorovnawasnotlaughing,he
ceased.Andtherewasasuddenfeelingofdreariness.Afterhehadfinishedhisdinner
theysatinthedrawingroombythelightofasinglelamp,anddidnotspeakitwas
painfultohimtolietoher,andshewantedtoaskhimsomething,butcouldnotmakeup
hermindto.Sopassedhalfanhour.Gruzinglancedathiswatch.
"Isupposeit'stimeformetogo."
"No,stayalittle....Wemusthaveatalk."
Againtheyweresilent.Hesatdowntothepiano,struckonechord,thenbeganplaying,
andsangsoftly,"Whatdoesthecomingdaybringme?"butasusualhegotupsuddenly
andtossedhishead.
"Playsomething,"ZinaidaFyodorovnaaskedhim.
"WhatshallIplay?"heasked,shrugginghisshoulders."Ihaveforgotteneverything.I've
givenituplongago."
Lookingattheceilingasthoughtryingtoremember,heplayedtwopiecesof
Tchaikovskywithexquisiteexpression,withsuchwarmth,suchinsight!Hisfacewasjust
asusualneitherstupidnorintelligentanditseemedtomeaperfectmarvelthataman
whomIwasaccustomedtoseeinthemidstofthemostdegrading,impuresurroundings,
wascapableofsuchpurity,ofrisingtoafeelingsolofty,sofarbeyondmyreach.Zinaida
Fyodorovna'sfaceglowed,andshewalkedaboutthedrawingroom inemotion.
"Waitabit,GodmotherifIcanrememberit,Iwillplayyousomething,"hesaid"I
hearditplayedonthevioloncello."
Beginningtimidlyandpickingoutthenotes,andthengatheringconfidence,heplayed
SaintSans's"SwanSong."Heplayeditthrough,andthenplayeditasecondtime.
"It'snice,isn'tit?"hesaid.

Movedbythemusic,ZinaidaFyodorovnastoodbesidehimandasked:
"Tellmehonestly,asafriend,whatdoyouthinkaboutme?"
"WhatamItosay?"hesaid,raisinghiseyebrows."Iloveyouandthinknothingbutgood
ofyou.ButifyouwishthatIshouldspeakgenerallyaboutthequestionthatinterests
you,"hewenton,rubbinghissleeveneartheelbowandfrowning,"then,mydear,you
know....Tofollowfreelythepromptingsoftheheartdoesnotalwaysgivegoodpeople
happiness.Tofeelfreeandatthesametimetobehappy,itseemstome,onemustnot
concealfromoneselfthatlifeiscoarse,cruel,andmercilessinitsconservatism,andone
mustretaliatewith whatitdeservesthatis,beascoarseandasmercilessinone'sstriving
forfreedom.That'swhatIthink."
"That'sbeyondme,"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,withamournfulsmile."Iamexhausted
already.IamsoexhaustedthatIwouldn'tstirafingerformyownsalvation."
"Gointoanunnery."
Hesaidthisinjest,butafterhehadsaidit,tearsglistenedinZinaidaFyodorovna'seyes
andtheninhis.
"Well,"hesaid,"we'vebeensittingandsitting,andnowwemustgo.Goodbye,dear
Godmother.Godgiveyouhealth."
Hekissedbothherhands,andstrokingthemtenderly,saidthatheshouldcertainlycome
toseeheragaininadayortwo.Inthehall,ashewasputtingonhisovercoat,thatwasso
likeachild'spelisse,hefumbledlonginhispocketstofindatipforme,butfound
nothingthere.
"Goodbye,mydearfellow,"hesaidsadly,andwentaway.
Ishallneverforgetthefeelingthatthismanleftbehindhim.
ZinaidaFyodorovnastillwalkedabouttheroominherexcitement.Thatshewaswalking
aboutandnotstilllyingdownwassomuchtothegood.Iwantedtotakeadvantageof
thismoodtospeaktoheropenlyandthentogoaway,butIhadhardlyseenGruzinout
whenIheardaring.ItwasKukushkin.
"IsGeorgyIvanitchathome?"hesaid."Hashecomeback?Yousayno?Whatapity!In
thatcase,I'llgoinandkissyourmistress'shand,andsoaway.ZinaidaFyodorovna,may
Icomein?"hecried."Iwanttokissyourhand.Excusemybeingsolate."
Hewasnotlonginthedrawingroom,notmore thantenminutes,butIfeltasthoughhe
werestayingalongwhileandwouldnevergoaway.Ibitmylipsfromindignationand

annoyance,andalreadyhatedZinaidaFyodorovna."Whydoesshenotturnhimout?"I
thoughtindignantly,thoughitwasevidentthatshewasboredbyhiscompany.
WhenIheldhisfurcoatforhimheaskedme,asamarkofspecialgoodwill,howI
managedtogetonwithoutawife.
"ButIdon'tsupposeyouwasteyourtime,"hesaid,laughingly."I'venodoubtPolyaand
youareasthickasthieves....Yourascal!"
Inspiteofmyexperienceoflife,Iknewverylittleofmankindatthattime,anditisvery
likelythatIoftenexaggeratedwhatwasoflittleconsequenceandfailedtoobservewhat
wasimportant.ItseemedtomeitwasnotwithoutmotivethatKukushkintitteredand
flatteredme.CoulditbethathewashopingthatI,likeaflunkey,wouldgossipinother
kitchensandservants'quartersofhiscomingtoseeusintheeveningswhenOrlovwas
away,andstayingwithZinaidaFyodorovnatilllateatnight?Andwhenmytittletattle
cametotheearsofhisacquaintance,hewoulddrophiseyesinconfusionandshakehis
littlefinger.Andwouldnothe,Ithought,lookingathislittlehoneyedface,thisvery
eveningatcardspretendandperhapsdeclarethathehadalreadywonZinaida
FyodorovnafromOrlov?
Thathatredwhichfailedmeatmiddaywhentheoldfatherhadcome,tookpossessionof
menow.Kukushkinwentawayatlast,andasIlistenedtotheshuffleofhisleather
goloshes,Ifeltgreatlytemptedtoflingafterhim,asapartingshot,somecoarsewordof
abuse,butIrestrainedmyself.Andwhenthestepshaddiedawayonthestairs,Iwent
backtothehall,and,hardlyconsciousofwhatIwasdoing,tookuptheroll ofpapersthat
Gruzinhadleftbehind,andranheadlongdownstairs.Withoutcaporovercoat,Iran
downintothestreet.Itwasnotcold,butbigflakesofsnowwerefallinganditwas
windy.
"YourExcellency!"Icried,catchingupKukushkin."YourExcellency!"
Hestoppedunderalamppostandlookedroundwithsurprise."YourExcellency!"Isaid
breathless,"yourExcellency!"
Andnotabletothinkofanythingtosay,Ihithimtwoorthreetimesonthefacewiththe
rollofpaper.Completelyataloss,andhardlywonderingIhadsocompletelytakenhim
bysurpriseheleanedhisbackagainstthelamppostandputuphishandstoprotecthis
face.Atthatmomentanarmydoctorpassed,andsawhowIwasbeatingtheman,buthe
merelylookedatusinastonishmentandwenton.IfeltashamedandIranbacktothe
house.

XII
Withmyheadwetfromthesnow,andgaspingforbreath,Irantomyroom,and
immediatelyflungoffmyswallowtails,putonareeferjacketandanovercoat,and
carriedmyportmanteauoutintothepassageImustgetaway!ButbeforegoingI
hurriedlysatdownandbeganwritingtoOrlov:
"Ileaveyoumyfalsepassport,"Ibegan."Ibegyoutokeepitasamemento,youfalse
man,youPetersburgofficial!
"Tostealintoanotherman'shouseunderafalsename,towatchunderthemaskofa
flunkeythisperson'sintimatelife,toheareverything,toseeeverythinginorderlateron,
unasked,toaccuseamanoflyingallthis,youwillsay,isonalevelwiththeft.Yes,but
Icarenothingforfinefeelingsnow.Ihaveendureddozensofyourdinnersandsuppers
whenyousaidanddidwhatyouliked,andIhadtohear,tolookon,andbesilent.Idon't
wanttomakeyouapresentofmysilence.Besides,ifthereisnotalivingsoulathand
whodarestotellyouthetruthwithoutflattery,letyourflunkeyStepanwashyour
magnificentcountenanceforyou."
Ididnotlikethisbeginning,butIdidnotcaretoalterit.Besides,whatdiditmatter?
Thebigwindowswiththeirdarkcurtains,thebed,thecrumpleddresscoatonthefloor,
andmywetfootprints,lookedgloomyandforbidding.Andtherewasapeculiarstillness.
PossiblybecauseIhadrunoutintothestreetwithoutmycapandgoloshesIwasinahigh
fever.Myfaceburned,mylegsached....Myheavyheaddroopedoverthetable,and
therewasthatkindofdivisioninmythoughtwheneveryideainthebrainseemed
doggedbyitsshadow.
"Iamill,weak,morallycastdown,"Iwenton"IcannotwritetoyouasIshouldliketo.
From thefirstmomentIdesiredtoinsultandhumiliateyou,butnowIdonotfeelthatI
havetherighttodoso.YouandIhavebothfallen,andneitherofuswilleverriseup
againandevenifmyletterwereeloquent,terrible,andpassionate,itwouldstillseem
likebeatingonthelidofacoffin:howeveroneknocksuponit,onewillnotwakeupthe
dead!Noeffortscouldwarmyouraccursedcoldblood,andyouknowthatbetterthanI
do.Whywrite?Butmymindandheartareburning,andIgoonwritingforsomereason
Iammovedasthoughthisletterstillmightsaveyouandme.Iamsofeverishthatmy
thoughtsaredisconnected,andmypenscratchesthepaperwithoutmeaningbutthe
questionIwanttoputtoyoustandsbeforemeasclearasthoughinlettersofflame.
"WhyIamprematurelyweakandfallenisnothardtoexplain.LikeSamsonofold,I
havetakenthegatesofGazaonmyshoulderstocarrythemtothetopofthemountain,
andonlywhenIwasexhausted,whenyouthandhealthwerequenchedinmeforever,I
noticedthatthatburdenwasnotformyshoulders,andthatIhaddeceivedmyself.Ihave
been,moreover,incruelandcontinualpain.Ihaveenduredcold,hunger,illness,andloss

ofliberty.OfpersonalhappinessIknowandhaveknownnothing.Ihavenohomemy
memoriesarebitter,andmyconscienceisoftenindreadofthem.Butwhyhaveyou
fallenyou?Whatfatal,diabolicalcauseshinderedyourlifefromblossomingintofull
flower?Why,almostbeforebeginninglife,wereyouinsuchhastetocastofftheimage
andlikenessofGod,andtobecomeacowardlybeastwhobacksandscaresothers
becauseheisafraidhimself?YouareafraidoflifeasafraidofitasanOrientalwhosits
alldayonacushionsmokinghishookah.Yes,youreadagreatdeal,andaEuropeancoat
fitsyouwell,butyetwithwhattender,purelyOriental,pashalikecareyouprotect
yourselffromhunger,cold,physicaleffort,frompainanduneasiness!Howearlyyour
soulhastakentoitsdressinggown!Whatacowardlypartyouhaveplayedtowardsreal
lifeandnature,withwhicheveryhealthyandnormalmanstruggles!Howsoft,howsnug,
howwarm,howcomfortableandhowboredyouare!Yes,itisdeathlyboredom,
unrelievedbyonerayoflight,asinsolitaryconfinementbutyoutrytohidefromthat
enemy,too,youplaycardseighthoursoutoftwentyfour.
"Andyourirony?Oh,buthowwellIunderstandit!Free,bold,livingthoughtis
searchinganddominatingforanindolent,sluggishminditisintolerable.Thatitmaynot
disturbyourpeace,likethousandsofyourcontemporaries,youmadehasteinyouthto
putitunderbarandbolt.Yourironicalattitudetolife,orwhateveryouliketocallit,is
yourarmourandyourthought,fetteredandfrightened,darenotleapoverthefenceyou
haveputrounditandwhenyoujeeratideaswhichyoupretendtoknowallabout,you
arelikethedeserterfleeingfromthefieldofbattle,and,tostiflehisshame,sneeringat
warandatvalour.Cynicismstiflespain.In somenovelofDostoevsky'sanoldman
tramplesunderfoottheportraitofhisdearlyloveddaughterbecausehehadbeenunjustto
her,andyouventyourfoulandvulgarjeersupontheideasofgoodnessandtruthbecause
youhavenotthestrengthtofollowthem.Youarefrightenedofeveryhonestandtruthful
hintatyourdegradation,andyoupurposelysurroundyourselfwithpeoplewhodo
nothingbutflatteryourweaknesses.Andyoumaywell,youmaywelldreadthesightof
tears!
"Bytheway,yourattitudetowomen.Shamelessnesshasbeenhandeddowntousinour
fleshandblood,andwearetrainedtoshamelessnessbutthatiswhatwearemenforto
subduethebeastinus.Whenyoureachedmanhoodand_all_ideasbecameknownto
you,youcouldnothavefailedtoseethetruthyouknewit,butyoudidnotfollowityou
wereafraidofit,andtodeceiveyourconscienceyoubeganloudlyassuringyourselfthat
itwasnotyoubutwomanthatwastoblame,thatshewasasdegradedasyourattitudeto
her.Your cold,scabrousanecdotes,yourcoarselaughter,allyourinnumerabletheories
concerningtheunderlyingrealityofmarriageandthedefinitedemandsmadeuponit,
concerningtheten_sous_theFrenchworkmanpayshiswomanyoureverlastingattacks
onfemalelogic,lying,weaknessandsoondoesn'titalllooklikeadesireatallcoststo
forcewomandownintothemudthatshemaybeonthesamelevelasyourattitudeto
her?Youareaweak,unhappy,unpleasantperson!"
ZinaidaFyodorovnabeganplayingthepianointhedrawingroom,tryingtorecallthe
songofSaintSansthatGruzinhadplayed.Iwentandlayonmybed,butremembering

thatitwastimeformetogo,Igotupwithaneffortandwithaheavy,burningheadwent
tothetableagain.
"Butthisisthequestion,"Iwenton."Whyarewewornout?Whyarewe,atfirstso
passionatesobold,sonoble,andsofulloffaith,completebankruptsatthirtyorthirty
five?Whydoesonewasteinconsumption,anotherputabulletthroughhisbrains,athird
seeksforgetfulnessinvodkaandcards,whilethefourthtriestostiflehisfearandmisery
bycynicallytramplingunderfootthepureimageofhisfairyouth?Whyisitthat,having
oncefallen,wedonottrytoriseupagain,and,losingonething,donotseeksomething
else?Whyisit?
"ThethiefhangingontheCrosscouldbringbackthejoyoflifeandthecourageof
confidenthope,thoughperhapshehadnotmorethananhourtolive.Youhavelong
yearsbeforeyou,andIshallprobablynotdiesosoonasonemightsuppose.Whatifbya
miraclethepresentturnedouttobeadream,ahorriblenightmare,andweshouldwake
uprenewed,pure,strong,proudofourrighteousness?Sweetvisionsfireme,andIam
almostbreathlesswithemotion.Ihaveaterriblelongingtolive.Ilongforourlifetobe
holy,lofty,andmajesticastheheavensabove.Letuslive!Thesundoesn'trisetwicea
day,andlifeisnotgivenusagainclutchatwhatisleftofyourlifeandsaveit...."
Ididnotwriteanotherword.Ihadamultitudeofthoughtsinmymind,butIcouldnot
connectthemandgetthemontopaper.Withoutfinishingtheletter,Isigneditwithmy
nameandrank,andwentintothestudy.Itwasdark.Ifeltforthetableandputtheletter
onit.I musthavestumbledagainstthefurnitureinthedarkandmadeanoise.
"Whoisthere?"Iheardanalarmedvoiceinthedrawingroom.
Andtheclockonthetablesoftlystruckoneatthemoment.

XIII
ForatleasthalfaminuteIfumbledatthedoorinthedark,feelingforthehandlethenI
slowlyopeneditandwalkedintothedrawingroom.ZinaidaFyodorovnawaslyingon
thecouch,andraisingherselfonherelbow,shelookedtowardsme.Unabletobring
myselftospeak,Iwalkedslowlyby,andshefollowedmewithhereyes.Istoodfora
littletimeinthediningroomandthenwalkedbyheragain,andshelookedatmeintently
andwithperplexity,evenwithalarm.AtlastIstoodstillandsaidwithaneffort:
"Heisnotcomingback."
Shequicklygot ontoherfeet,andlookedatmewithoutunderstanding.
"Heisnotcomingback,"Irepeated,andmyheartbeatviolently."Hewillnotcomeback,
forhehasnotleftPetersburg.HeisstayingatPekarsky's."
SheunderstoodandbelievedmeIsawthatfromhersuddenpallor,andfromtheway
shelaidherarmsuponherbosominterrorandentreaty.Inoneinstantallthathad
happenedoflateflashedthroughhermindshereflected,andwithpitilessclarityshesaw
thewholetruth.ButatthesametimesherememberedthatIwasaflunkey,abeingofa
lowerorder....Acasualstranger,withhairruffled,withfaceflushedwithfever,perhaps
drunk,inacommonovercoat,wascoarselyintrudingintoherintimatelife,andthat
offendedher.Shesaidtomesternly:
"It'snotyourbusiness:goaway."
"Oh,believeme!"Icriedimpetuously,holdingoutmyhandstoher."Iamnotafootman
Iamasfreeasyou."
Imentionedmyname,and,speakingveryrapidlythatshemightnotinterruptmeorgo
away,explainedtoherwhoIwasandwhyIwaslivingthere.Thisnewdiscoverystruck
hermorethanthefirst.Tillthenshehadhopedthatherfootmanhadliedormadea
mistakeorbeensilly,butnowaftermyconfessionshehadnodoubtsleft.Fromthe
expressionofherunhappyeyesandface,whichsuddenlylostitssoftnessandbeautyand
lookedold,Isawthatshewasinsufferablymiserable,andthattheconversationwould
leadtonogoodbutIwentonimpetuously:
"Thesenatorandthetourofinspectionwereinventedtodeceiveyou.InJanuary,justas
now,hedidnotgoaway,butstayedatPekarsky's,andIsawhimeverydayandtookpart
inthedeception.Hewaswearyofyou,hehatedyourpresencehere,hemockedatyou..
..Ifyoucouldhaveheardhowheandhisfriendsherejeeredatyouandyourlove,you
wouldnothaveremainedhereoneminute!Goawayfromhere!Goaway."
"Well,"shesaidinashakingvoice,andmovedherhandoverherhair."Well,sobeit."

Hereyeswerefulloftears,herlipswerequivering,andherwholefacewasstrikingly
paleanddistortedwithanger.Orlov'scoarse,pettylyingrevoltedherandseemedtoher
contemptible,ridiculous:shesmiledandIdidnotlikethatsmile.
"Well,"sherepeated,passingherhandoverherhairagain,"sobeit.HeimaginesthatI
shalldieofhumiliation,andinsteadofthatIam...amusedbyit.There'snoneedfor
himtohide."Shewalkedawayfromthepianoandsaid,shrugginghershoulders:
"There'snoneed....Itwouldhavebeensimplertohaveitoutwithmeinsteadof
keepinginhidinginotherpeople'sflats.IhaveeyesIsawitmyselflongago....Iwas
onlywaitingforhimtocomebacktohavethingsoutonceforall."
Thenshesatdownonalowchairbythetable,and,leaningherheadonthearmofthe
sofa,weptbitterly.Inthedrawingroomtherewasonlyonecandleburninginthe
candelabra,andthechairwhereshewassittingwasindarknessbutIsawhowherhead
andshoulderswerequivering,andhowherhair,escapingfromhercombs,coveredher
neck,herface,herarms....Herquiet,steadyweeping,whichwasnothystericalbuta
woman'sordinaryweeping,expressedasenseofinsult,ofwoundedpride,ofinjury,and
ofsomethinghelpless,hopeless,whichonecouldnotsetrightandtowhichonecouldnot
getused.HertearsstirredanechoinmytroubledandsufferingheartIforgotmyillness
andeverythingelseintheworldIwalkedaboutthedrawingroomandmuttered
distractedly:
"Isthislife?...Oh, onecan'tgoonlivinglikethis,onecan't....Oh,it'smadness,
wickedness,notlife."
"Whathumiliation!"shesaidthroughhertears."Tolivetogether,tosmileatmeatthe
verytimewhenIwasburdensometohim,ridiculousinhiseyes!Oh,howhumiliating!"
Sheliftedupherhead,andlookingatmewithtearstainedeyesthroughherhair,wet
withhertears,andpushingitbackasitpreventedherseeingme,sheasked:
"Theylaughedatme?"
"TothesemenyouwerelaughableyouandyourloveandTurgenevtheysaidyourhead
wasfullofhim.Andifwebothdieatonceindespair,thatwillamusethem,toothey
willmakeafunnyanecdoteofitandtellitatyourrequiemservice.Butwhytalkof
them?"Isaidimpatiently."Wemustgetawayfrom hereIcannotstayhereoneminute
longer."
Shebegancryingagain,whileIwalkedtothepianoandsatdown.
"Whatarewewaitingfor?"Iaskeddejectedly."It'stwoo'clock."
"Iamnotwaitingforanything,"shesaid."Iamutterlylost."

"Whydoyoutalklikethat?Wehadbetterconsidertogetherwhatwearetodo.Neither
younorIcanstayhere.Wheredoyouintendtogo?"
Suddenlytherewasaringatthebell.Myheartstoodstill.CoulditbeOrlov,towhom
perhapsKukushkinhadcomplainedofme?Howshouldwemeet?Iwenttoopenthe
door.ItwasPolya.Shecameinshakingthesnowoffherpelisse,andwentintoherroom
withoutsayingawordtome.WhenIwentbacktothedrawingroom,Zinaida
Fyodorovna,paleasdeath,wasstandinginthemiddleoftheroom,lookingtowardsme
withbigeyes.
"Whowasit?"sheaskedsoftly.
"Polya,"Ianswered.
Shepassedherhandoverherhairandclosedhereyeswearily.
"Iwillgoawayatonce,"shesaid."WillyoubekindandtakemetothePetersburgSide?
Whattimeisitnow?"
"Aquartertothree."

XIV
When,alittleafterwards,wewentoutofthehouse,itwasdarkanddesertedinthestreet.
Wetsnowwasfallingandadampwindlashedinone'sface.Irememberitwasthe
beginningofMarchathawhadsetin,andforsomedayspastthecabmenhadbeen
drivingonwheels.Undertheimpressionofthebackstairs,ofthecold,ofthemidnight
darkness,andtheporterinhissheepskinwhohadquestionedusbeforelettingusoutof
thegate,ZinaidaFyodorovnawasutterlycastdownanddispirited.Whenwegotintothe
cabandthehoodwasputup,tremblingallover,shebeganhurriedlysayinghowgrateful
shewastome.
"Idonotdoubtyourgoodwill,butIamashamedthatyoushouldbetroubled,"she
muttered."Oh,Iunderstand,Iunderstand....WhenGruzinwasheretoday,Ifeltthathe
waslyingandconcealingsomething.Well,sobeit.ButIamashamed,anyway,thatyou
shouldbetroubled."
Shestillhadherdoubts.Todispelthemfinally,Iaskedthecabmantodrivethrough
SergievskyStreetstoppinghimatPekarsky'sdoor,Igotoutofthecabandrang.When
theportercametothedoor,Iaskedaloud,thatZinaidaFyodorovnamighthear,whether
GeorgyIvanitchwasathome.
"Yes,"wastheanswer,"hecameinhalfanhourago.Hemustbeinbedbynow.Whatdo
youwant?"
ZinaidaFyodorovnacouldnotrefrainfromputtingherheadout.
"HasGeorgyIvanitchbeenstayingherelong?"sheasked.
"Goingonforthreeweeks."
"Andhe'snotbeenaway?"
"No,"answeredtheporter,lookingatmewithsurprise.
"Tellhim,earlytomorrow,"Isaid,"thathissisterhasarrivedfromWarsaw.Goodbye."
Thenwedroveon.Thecabhadnoapron,thesnowfellonusinbigflakes,andthewind,
especiallyontheNeva,piercedusthroughandthrough.Ibegantofeelasthoughwehad
beendrivingforalongtime,thatforageswehadbeensuffering,andthatforagesIhad
beenlisteningtoZinaidaFyodorovna'sshudderingbreath.Insemidelirium,asthough
halfasleep,Ilookedbackuponmystrange,incoherentlife,andforsomereasonrecalled
amelodrama,"TheParisianBeggars,"whichIhadseenonceortwiceinmychildhood.
AndwhentoshakeoffthatsemideliriumIpeepedoutfromthehoodandsawthedawn,
alltheimagesofthepast,allmymistythoughts,forsomereason,blendedinmeintoone
distinct,overpoweringthought:everythingwasirrevocablyoverforZinaidaFyodorovna

andforme.Thiswasascertainaconvictionasthoughthecoldblueskycontaineda
prophecy,butaminutelaterIwasalreadythinkingofsomethingelseandbelieved
differently.
"WhatamInow?"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,inavoicehuskywiththecoldandthe
damp."WhereamItogo?WhatamItodo?Gruzintoldmetogointoanunnery.Oh,I
would!Iwouldchangemydress,myface,myname,mythoughts...everything
everything,andwouldhidemyselfforever.Buttheywillnottakemeintoanunnery.I
amwithchild."
"Wewillgoabroadtogethertomorrow,"Isaid.
"That'simpossible.Myhusbandwon'tgivemeapassport."
"Iwilltakeyouwithoutapassport."
Thecabmanstoppedatawoodenhouseoftwostoreys,paintedadarkcolour.Irang.
Takingfrommehersmalllightbaskettheonlyluggagewehadbroughtwithus
ZinaidaFyodorovnagaveawrysmileandsaid:
"Thesearemy_bijoux_."
Butshewassoweakthatshecouldnotcarrythese_bijoux_.
Itwasalongwhilebeforethedoorwasopened.Afterthethirdorfourthringalight
gleamedinthewindows,andtherewasasoundofsteps,coughingandwhisperingatlast
thekeygratedinthelock,andastoutpeasantwomanwithafrightenedredfaceappeared
atthedoor.Somedistancebehindherstoodathinlittleoldwomanwithshortgreyhair,
carryingacandleinherhand.ZinaidaFyodorovnaranintothepassageandflungher
armsroundtheoldwoman'sneck.
"Nina,I'vebeendeceived,"shesobbedloudly."I'vebeencoarsely,foullydeceived!Nina,
Nina!"
Ihandedthebaskettothepeasantwoman.Thedoorwasclosed,butstillIheardhersobs
andthecry"Nina!"
IgotintothecabandtoldthemantodriveslowlytotheNevskyProspect.Ihadtothink
ofanight'slodgingformyself.
NextdaytowardseveningIwenttoseeZinaidaFyodorovna.Shewasterriblychanged.
Therewerenotracesoftearsonherpale,terriblysunkenface,andherexpressionwas
different.Idon'tknowwhetheritwasthatIsawhernowindifferentsurroundings,far
fromluxurious,andthatourrelationswerebynowdifferent,orperhapsthatintensegrief
hadalreadysetitsmarkuponhershedidnotstrikemeassoelegantandwelldressedas
before.Herfigureseemedsmallertherewasanabruptnessandexcessivenervousness

aboutherasthoughshewereinahurry,andtherewasnotthesamesoftnesseveninher
smile.IwasdressedinanexpensivesuitwhichIhadboughtduringtheday.Shelooked
firstofallatthatsuitandatthehatinmyhand,thenturnedanimpatient,searching
glanceuponmyfaceasthoughstudyingit.
"Yourtransformationstillseemstomeasortofmiracle,"shesaid."Forgivemefor
lookingatyouwithsuchcuriosity.Youareanextraordinaryman,youknow."
ItoldheragainwhoIwas,andwhyIwaslivingatOrlov's,andItoldheratgreater
lengthandinmoredetailthanthedaybefore.Shelistenedwithgreatattention,andsaid
withoutlettingmefinish:
"Everythingthereisoverforme.Youknow,Icouldnotrefrainfromwritingaletter.
Hereistheanswer."
OnthesheetwhichshegavetherewaswritteninOrlov'shand:
"Iamnotgoingtojustifymyself.Butyoumustownthatitwasyourmistake,notmine.I
wishyouhappiness,andbegyoutomakehasteandforget.
"Yourssincerely,
"G.O.
"P.S.Iamsendingonyourthings."
ThetrunksandbasketsdespatchedbyOrlovwerestandinginthepassage,andmypoor
littleportmanteauwastherebesidethem.
"So..."ZinaidaFyodorovnabegan,butshedidnotfinish.
Weweresilent.Shetookthenoteandhelditforacoupleofminutesbeforehereyes,and
duringthattimeherfaceworethesamehaughty,contemptuous,proud,andharsh
expressionasthedaybeforeatthebeginningofourexplanationtearscameintoher
eyesnottimid,bittertears,butproud,angrytears.
"Listen,"shesaid,gettingupabruptlyandmovingawaytothewindowthatImightnot
seeherface."Ihavemadeupmymindtogoabroadwithyoutomorrow."
"Iamveryglad.Iamreadytogotoday."
"Acceptmeasarecruit.HaveyoureadBalzac?"sheaskedsuddenly,turninground.
"Haveyou?Attheendofhisnovel'PreGoriot'theherolooksdownuponParisfromthe
topofahillandthreatensthetown:'Nowweshallsettleouraccount,'andafterthishe
beginsanewlife.SowhenIlookoutofthetrainwindowatPetersburgfor thelasttime,I
shallsay,'Nowweshallsettleouraccount!'"

Sayingthis,shesmiledatherjest,andforsomereasonshudderedallover.

XV
AtVeniceIhadanattackofpleurisy.ProbablyIhadcaughtcoldintheeveningwhenwe
wererowingfromthestationtotheHotelBauer.Ihadtotaketomybedandstaythere
forafortnight.EverymorningwhileIwasillZinaidaFyodorovnacamefromherroomto
drinkcoffeewithme,andafterwardsreadaloudtomeFrenchandRussianbooks,of
whichwehadboughtanumberatVienna.Thesebookswereeitherlong,longfamiliarto
meorelsehadnointerestforme,butIhadthesoundofasweet,kindvoicebesideme,so
thatthemeaningofallofthemwassummedupformeintheonethingIwasnotalone.
Shewouldgooutforawalk,comebackinherlightgreydress,herlightstrawhat,gay,
warmedbythespringsunandsittingbymybed,bendinglowdownoverme,wouldtell
mesomethingaboutVeniceorreadmethosebooksandIwashappy.
AtnightIwascold,ill,anddreary,butbydayIrevelledinlifeIcanfindnobetter
expressionforit.Thebrilliantwarmsunshinebeatinginattheopenwindowsandatthe
dooruponthebalcony,theshoutsbelow,thesplashofoars,thetinkleofbells,the
prolongedboomofthecannonatmidday,andthefeelingofperfect,perfectfreedom,did
wonderswithmeIfeltasthoughIweregrowingstrong,broadwingswhichwere
bearingmeGodknowswhither.Andwhatcharm,whatjoyattimesatthethoughtthat
anotherlifewassoclosetomine!thatIwastheservant,theguardian,thefriend,the
indispensablefellowtravellerofacreature,young,beautiful,wealthy,butweak,lonely,
andinsulted!Itispleasanteventobeillwhenyouknowthattherearepeoplewhoare
lookingforwardtoyourconvalescenceastoaholiday.OnedayIheardherwhispering
behindthedoorwithmydoctor,andthenshecameintomewithtearstainedeyes.Itwas
abadsign,butIwastouched,andtherewasawonderfullightnessinmyheart.
Butatlasttheyallowedmetogooutonthebalcony.Thesunshineandthebreezefrom
theseacaressedandfondledmysickbody.Ilookeddownatthefamiliargondolas,which
glidewithfemininegracesmoothlyandmajesticallyasthoughtheywerealive,andfelt
alltheluxuryofthisoriginal,fascinatingcivilisation.Therewasasmellofthesea.Some
onewasplayingastringedinstrumentandtwovoicesweresinging.Howdelightfulit
was!HowunlikeitwastothatPetersburgnightwhenthewetsnowwasfallingand
beatingsorudelyonourfaces.Ifonelooksstraightacrossthecanal,oneseesthesea,and
onthewideexpansetowardsthehorizonthesunglitteredonthewatersodazzlinglythat
ithurtone'seyestolookatit.Mysoulyearnedtowardsthatlovelysea,whichwasso
akintomeandtowhichIhadgivenupmyyouth.Ilongedtolivetoliveandnothing
more.
AfortnightlaterIbeganwalkingfreely.Ilovedtositinthesun,andtolistentothe
gondolierswithoutunderstandingthem,andforhourstogethertogazeatthelittlehouse
where,theysaid,Desdemonalivedanave,mournfullittlehousewithademure
expression,aslightaslace,solightthatitlookedasthoughonecouldliftitfromitsplace
withonehand.IstoodforalongtimebythetombofCanova,andcouldnottakemyeyes
offthemelancholylion.AndinthePalaceoftheDogesIwasalwaysdrawntothecorner
wheretheportraitoftheunhappyMarinoFalierowaspaintedoverwithblack."Itisfine

tobeanartist,apoet,adramatist,"Ithought,"butsincethatisnotvouchsafedtome,if
onlyIcouldgoinformysticism!IfonlyIhadagrainofsomefaithtoaddtothe
unruffledpeaceandserenitythatfillsthesoul!"
Intheeveningweateoysters,drankwine,andwentoutinagondola.Irememberour
blackgondolaswayedsoftlyinthesameplacewhilethewaterfaintlygurgledunderit.
Hereandtherethereflectionofthestarsandthelightsonthebankquiveredand
trembled.Notfarfromusinagondola,hungwithcolouredlanternswhichwerereflected
inthewater,therewerepeoplesinging.Thesoundsofguitars,ofviolins,ofmandolins,
ofmen'sandwomen'svoices,wereaudibleinthedark.ZinaidaFyodorovna,pale,witha
grave,almoststernface,wassittingbesideme,compressingherlipsandclenchingher
hands.Shewasthinkingaboutsomethingshedidnotstiraneyelash,norhearme.Her
face,herattitude,andherfixed,expressionlessgaze,andherincrediblymiserable,
dreadful,andicycoldmemories,andaroundherthegondolas,thelights,themusic,the
songwithitsvigorouspassionatecryof"_Jammo!Jammo!_"whatcontrastsinlife!
Whenshesatlikethat,withtightlyclaspedhands,stony,mournful,Iusedtofeelas
thoughwewereboth charactersinsomenovelintheoldfashionedstylecalled"TheIll
fated,""TheAbandoned,"orsomethingofthesort.Bothofus:shetheillfated,the
abandonedandIthefaithful,devotedfriend,thedreamer,and,ifyoulikeit,a
superfluousman,afailurecapableofnothingbutcoughinganddreaming,andperhaps
sacrificingmyself.
Butwhoandwhatneededmysacrificesnow?AndwhathadItosacrifice,indeed?
Whenwecameinintheeveningwealwaysdrankteainherroomandtalked.Wedidnot
shrinkfromtouchingonold,unhealedwoundsonthecontrary,forsomereasonIfelta
positivepleasureintellingheraboutmylifeatOrlov's,orreferringopenlytorelations
whichIknewandwhichcouldnothavebeenconcealedfromme.
"AtmomentsIhatedyou,"Isaidtoher."Whenhewascapricious,condescending,told
youlies,Imarvelledhowitwasyoudidnotsee,didnotunderstand,whenitwasallso
clear!Youkissedhishands,youknelttohim,youflatteredhim..."
"WhenI...kissedhishandsandknelttohim,Ilovedhim..."shesaid,blushing
crimson.
"Canithavebeensodifficulttoseethroughhim?Afinesphinx!Asphinxindeeda
_kammerjunker!_Ireproachyoufornothing,Godforbid,"Iwenton,feelingIwas
coarse,thatIhadnotthetact,thedelicacywhicharesoessentialwhenyouhavetodo
withafellowcreature'ssoulinearlydaysbeforeIknewherIhadnotnoticedthisdefect
inmyself."Buthowcouldyoufailtoseewhathewas,"Iwenton,speakingmoresoftly
andmorediffidently,however.
"Youmeantosayyoudespisemypast,andyouareright,"shesaid,deeplystirred."You
belongtoaspecialclassofmenwhocannotbejudgedbyordinarystandardsyourmoral
requirementsareexceptionallyrigorous,andIunderstandyoucan'tforgivethings.I

understandyou,andifsometimesIsaytheopposite,itdoesn'tmeanthatIlookatthings
differentlyfromyouIspeakthesameoldnonsensesimplybecauseIhaven'thadtime
yettowearoutmyoldclothesandprejudices.I,too,hateanddespisemypast,andOrlov
andmylove....Whatwasthatlove?It'spositivelyabsurdnow,"shesaid,goingtothe
windowandlookingdownatthecanal."Allthisloveonlycloudstheconscienceand
confusesthemind.Themeaningoflifeistobefoundonlyinonethingfighting.Toget
one'sheelonthevileheadoftheserpentandtocrushit!That'sthemeaningoflife.In
thataloneorinnothing."
Itoldherlongstoriesofmypast,anddescribedmyreallyastoundingadventures.Butof
thechangethathadtakenplaceinmeIdidnotsayoneword.Shealwayslistenedtome
withgreatattention,andatinterestingplacessherubbedherhandsasthoughvexedthatit
hadnotyetbeenherlottoexperiencesuchadventures,suchjoysandterrors.Thenshe
wouldsuddenlyfalltomusingandretreatintoherself,andIcouldseefromherfacethat
shewasnotattendingtome.
Iclosedthewindowsthatlookedoutonthecanalandaskedwhetherweshouldnothave
thefirelighted.
"No,nevermind.Iamnotcold,"shesaid,smilinglistlessly."Ionlyfeelweak.Doyou
know,IfancyIhavegrownmuchwiserlately.Ihaveextraordinary,originalideasnow.
WhenIthinkofmypast,ofmylifethen...peopleingeneral,infact,itisallsummedup
formeintheimageofmystepmother.Coarse,insolent,soulless,false,depraved,anda
morphiamaniactoo.Myfather,whowasfeebleandweakwilled,marriedmymotherfor
hermoneyanddroveherintoconsumptionbuthissecondwife,mystepmother,heloved
passionately,insanely....WhatIhadtoputupwith!Butwhatistheuseoftalking!And
so,asIsay,itisallsummedupinherimage....Anditvexesmethatmystepmotheris
dead.Ishouldliketomeethernow!"
"Why?"
"Idon'tknow,"sheansweredwithalaughandagracefulmovementofherhead."Good
night.Youmustgetwell.Assoonasyouarewell,we'lltakeupourwork...It'stimeto
begin."
AfterIhadsaidgoodnightandhadmyhandonthedoorhandle,shesaid:
"Whatdoyouthink?IsPolyastilllivingthere?"
"Probably."
AndIwentofftomyroom.Sowespentawholemonth.Onegreymorningwhenwe
bothstoodatmywindow,lookingatthecloudswhichweremovingupfromthesea,and
atthedarkeningcanal,expectingeveryminutethatitwouldpourwithrain,andwhena
thick,narrowstreakofraincoveredtheseaasthoughwithamuslinveil,webothfelt
suddenlydreary.ThesamedaywebothsetoffforFlorence.

XVI
Itwasautumn,atNice.Onemorningwhen Iwentintoherroomshewassittingonalow
chair,benttogetherandhuddledup,withherlegscrossedandherfacehiddeninher
hands.Shewasweepingbitterly,withsobs,andherlong,unbrushedhairfellonher
knees.TheimpressionoftheexquisitemarvellousseawhichIhadonlyjustseenandof
whichIwantedtotellher,leftmeallatonce,andmyheartached.
"Whatisit?"Iaskedshetookonehandfromherfaceandmotionedmetogoaway.
"Whatisit?"Irepeated,andforthefirsttimeduringouracquaintanceIkissedherhand.
"No,it'snothing,nothing,"shesaidquickly."Oh,it'snothing,nothing....Goaway....
Yousee,Iamnotdressed."
Iwentoutoverwhelmed.ThecalmandserenemoodinwhichIhadbeenforsolongwas
poisonedbycompassion.Ihadapassionatelongingtofallatherfeet,toentreathernotto
weepinsolitude,buttosharehergriefwithme,andthemonotonousmurmurofthesea
alreadysoundedagloomyprophecyinmyears,andIforesawfreshtears,freshtroubles,
andfreshlossesinthefuture."Whatisshecryingabout?Whatisit?"Iwondered,
recallingherfaceandheragonisedlook.Irememberedshewaswithchild.Shetriedto
concealherconditionfromotherpeople,andalsofromherself.Athomeshewentabout
inaloosewrapperorinablousewithextremelyfullfoldsoverthebosom,andwhenshe
wentoutanywhereshelacedherselfinsotightlythatontwooccasionsshefaintedwhen
wewereout.Sheneverspoketomeofhercondition,andwhenIhintedthatitmightbe
aswelltoseeadoctor,sheflushedcrimsonandsaidnotaword.
WhenIwenttoseehernexttimeshewasalreadydressedandhadherhairdone.
"There,there,"Isaid,seeingthatshewasreadytocryagain."Wehadbettergotothesea
andhaveatalk."
"Ican'ttalk.Forgiveme,Iaminthemoodnowwhenonewantstobealone.And,ifyou
please,VladimirIvanitch,anothertimeyouwanttocomeintomyroom,besogoodasto
giveaknockatthedoor."
That"besogood"hadapeculiar,unfemininesound.Iwentaway.Myaccursed
Petersburgmoodcameback,andallmydreamswerecrushedandcrumpleduplike
leavesbytheheat.IfeltIwasaloneagainandtherewasnonearnessbetweenus.Iwas
nomoretoherthanthatcobwebtothatpalmtree,whichhangsonitbychanceand
whichwillbetornoffandcarriedawaybythewind.Iwalkedaboutthesquarewherethe
bandwasplaying,wentintotheCasinothereIlookedatoverdressedandheavily
perfumedwomen,andeveryoneofthemglancedatmeasthoughshewouldsay:"You
arealonethat'sallright."ThenIwentoutontheterraceandlookedforalongtimeatthe
sea.Therewasnotonesailonthehorizon.Ontheleftbank,inthelilaccolouredmist,

thereweremountains,gardens,towers,andhouses,thesunwassparklingoveritall,but
itwasallalien,indifferent,anincomprehensibletangle.

XVII
Sheusedasbeforetocomeintomyroominthemorningtocoffee,butwenolonger
dinedtogether,asshesaidshewasnothungryandshelivedonlyoncoffee,tea,and
varioustriflessuchasorangesandcaramels.
Andwenolongerhadconversationsintheevening.Idon'tknowwhyitwaslikethis.
EversincethedaywhenIhadfoundherintearsshehadtreatedmesomehowlightly,at
timescasually,evenironically,andforsomereasoncalledme"Mygoodsir."Whathad
beforeseemedtoherterrible,heroic,marvellous,andhadstirredherenvyand
enthusiasm,didnottouchhernowatall,andusuallyafterlisteningtome,shestretched
andsaid:
"Yes,'greatthingsweredoneindaysofyore,'mygoodsir."
ItsometimeshappenedeventhatIdidnotseeherfordaystogether.Iwouldknock
timidlyandguiltilyatherdoorandgetnoanswerIwouldknockagainstillsilence... .
Iwouldstandnearthedoorandlistenthenthechambermaidwouldpassandsaycoldly,
"_Madameestpartie._"ThenIwouldwalkaboutthepassagesofthehotel,walkand
walk....Englishpeople,fullbosomedladies,waitersinswallowtails....AndasIkeep
gazingatthelongstripedrugthatstretchesthewholelengthofthecorridor,theidea
occurstomethatIamplayinginthelifeofthiswomanastrange,probablyfalsepart,and
thatitisbeyondmypowertoalterthatpart.Iruntomyroomandfallonmybed,and
thinkandthink,andcancometonoconclusionandallthatiscleartomeisthatIwantto
live,andthattheplainerandthecolderandtheharderherfacegrows,thenearersheisto
me,andthemoreintenselyandpainfully Ifeelourkinship.Nevermind"Mygoodsir,"
nevermindherlightcarelesstone,nevermindanythingyoulike,onlydon'tleaveme,my
treasure.Iamafraidtobealone.
ThenIgooutintothecorridoragain,listeninatremor....IhavenodinnerIdon't
noticetheapproachofevening.AtlastaboutelevenIhearthefamiliarfootstep,andat
theturnnearthestairsZinaidaFyodorovnacomesintosight.
"Areyoutakingawalk?"shewouldaskasshepassesme."Youhadbettergooutintothe
air.. ..Goodnight!"
"Butshallwenotmeetagaintoday?"
"Ithinkit'slate.Butasyoulike."
"Tellme,wherehaveyoubeen?"Iwouldask,followingherintotheroom.
"Where?ToMonteCarlo."Shetooktengoldcoinsoutofherpocketandsaid:"Look,my
goodsirIhavewon.That'satroulette."

"Nonsense!Asthoughyouwouldgamble."
"Whynot?Iamgoingagaintomorrow."
Iimaginedherwithasickandmorbidface,inhercondition,tightlylaced,standingnear
thegamingtableinacrowdofcocottes,ofoldwomenintheirdotagewhoswarmround
thegoldlikefliesroundthehoney.IrememberedshehadgoneofftoMonteCarlofor
somereasoninsecretfromme.
"Idon'tbelieveyou,"Isaidoneday."Youwouldn'tgothere."
"Don'tagitateyourself.Ican'tlosemuch."
"It'snotthequestionofwhatyoulose,"Isaidwithannoyance."Hasitneveroccurredto
youwhileyouwereplayingtherethattheglitterofgold,allthesewomen,youngandold,
thecroupiers,allthesurroundingsthatitisallavile,loathsomemockeryatthetoiler's
labour,athisbloodysweat?
"Ifonedoesn'tplay,whatisonetodohere?"sheasked."Thetoiler'slabourandhis
bloodysweatallthateloquenceyoucanputofftillanothertimebutnow,sinceyou
havebegun,letmegoon.Letmeaskyoubluntly,whatisthereformetodohere,and
whatamItodo?"
"Whatareyoutodo?"Isaid,shruggingmyshoulders."That'saquestionthatcan'tbe
answeredstraightoff."
"Ibegyoutoanswermehonestly,VladimirIvanitch,"shesaid,andherfacelooked
angry."OnceIhavebroughtmyselftoaskyouthisquestion,Iamnotgoingtolistento
stockphrases.Iamaskingyou,"shewenton,beatingherhandonthetable,asthough
markingtime,"whatoughtItodohere?AndnotonlyhereatNice,butingeneral?"
Ididnotspeak,butlookedoutofwindowtothesea.Myheartwasbeatingterribly.
"VladimirIvanitch,"shesaidsoftlyandbreathlesslyitwashardforhertospeak
"VladimirIvanitch,ifyoudonotbelievein thecauseyourself,ifyounolongerthinkof
goingbacktoit,why...whydidyoudragmeoutofPetersburg?Whydidyoumakeme
promises,whydidyourousemadhopes?Yourconvictionshavechangedyouhave
becomeadifferentman,andnobodyblamesyouforitourconvictionsarenotalwaysin
ourpower.But...but,VladimirIvanitch,forGod'ssake,whyareyounotsincere?"she
wentonsoftly,cominguptome."AllthesemonthswhenIhavebeendreamingaloud,
raving,goingintorapturesovermyplans,remodellingmylifeonanewpattern,why
didn'tyoutellmethetruth?Whywereyousilentorencouragedmebyyourstories,and
behavedasthoughyouwereincompletesympathywithme?Whywasit?Whywasit
necessary?"

"It'sdifficulttoacknowledgeone'sbankruptcy,"Isaid,turninground,butnotlookingat
her."Yes,IhavenofaithIamwornout.Ihavelostheart....Itisdifficulttobetruthful
verydifficult,andIheldmytongue.Godforbidthatanyoneshouldhavetogothrough
whatIhavebeenthrough."
IfeltthatIwasonthepointoftears,andceasedspeaking.
"VladimirIvanitch,"shesaid,andtookmebybothhands,"youhavebeenthroughso
muchandseensomuchoflife,youknowmorethanIdothinkseriously,andtellme,
whatamItodo?Teachme!Ifyouhaven'tthestrengthtogoforwardyourselfandtake
otherswithyou,atleastshowmewheretogo.Afterall,Iamaliving,feeling,thinking
being.Tosinkintoafalseposition...toplayanabsurdpart...ispainfultome.Idon't
reproachyou,Idon'tblameyouIonlyaskyou."
Teawasbroughtin.
"Well?"saidZinaidaFyodorovna,givingmeaglass."Whatdoyousaytome?"
"Thereismorelightintheworldthanyouseethroughyourwindow,"Ianswered."And
thereareotherpeoplebesidesme,ZinaidaFyodorovna."
"Thentellmewhotheyare,"shesaideagerly."That'sallIaskofyou."
"AndIwanttosay,too,"Iwenton,"onecanserveanideainmorethanonecalling.If
onehasmadeamistakeandlostfaithinone,onemayfindanother.Theworldofideasis
largeandcannotbeexhausted."
"Theworldofideas!"shesaid,andshelookedintomyfacesarcastically."Thenwehad
betterleaveofftalking.What'stheuse?..."
Sheflushed.
"Theworldof ideas!"sherepeated.Shethrewherdinnernapkinaside,andanexpression
ofindignationandcontemptcameintoherface."Allyourfineideas,Isee,leaduptoone
inevitable,essentialstep:Ioughttobecomeyourmistress.That'swhat'swanted.Tobe
takenupwithideaswithoutbeingthemistressofanhonourable,progressiveman,isas
goodasnotunderstandingtheideas.Onehastobeginwiththat...thatis,withbeing
yourmistress,andtherestwillcomeofitself."
"Youareirritated,ZinaidaFyodorovna,"Isaid.
"No,Iamsincere!"shecried,breathinghard."Iamsincere!"
"Youaresincere,perhaps,butyouareinerror,andithurtsmetohearyou."

"Iaminerror?"shelaughed."Anyoneelsemightsaythat,butnotyou,mydearsir!I
mayseemtoyouindelicate,cruel,butIdon'tcare:youloveme?Youloveme,don't
you?"
Ishruggedmyshoulders.
"Yes,shrugyourshoulders!"shewentonsarcastically."WhenyouwereillIheardyouin
yourdelirium,andeversincetheseadoringeyes,thesesighs,andedifyingconversations
aboutfriendship,aboutspiritualkinship....Butthepointis,whyhaven'tyoubeen
sincere?Whyhaveyouconcealedwhatisandtalkedaboutwhatisn't?Hadyousaidfrom
thebeginningwhatideasexactlyledyoutodragmefromPetersburg,Ishouldhave
known.IshouldhavepoisonedmyselfthenasImeantto,andtherewouldhavebeen
noneofthistediousfarce....Butwhat'stheuseoftalking!"
Withawaveofthehandshesatdown.
"Youspeaktomeasthoughyoususpectedmeofdishonourableintentions,"Isaid,
offended.
"Oh,verywell.What'stheuseoftalking!Idon'tsuspectyouofintentions,butofhaving
nointentions.Ifyouhadany,Ishouldhaveknownthembynow.Youhadnothingbut
ideasandlove.Forthepresentideasandlove,andinprospectmeasyourmistress.
That'sintheorderofthingsbothinlifeandinnovels....Hereyouabusedhim,"she
said,andsheslappedthetablewithherhand,"butonecan'thelpagreeingwithhim.He
hasgoodreasonsfordespisingtheseideas."
"Hedoesnotdespiseideasheisafraidofthem,"Icried."Heisacowardandaliar."
"Oh,verywell.Heisacowardandaliar,anddeceivedme.Andyou?Excusemy
franknesswhatareyou?HedeceivedmeandleftmetotakemychanceinPetersburg,
andyouhavedeceivedmeandabandonedmehere.Buthedidnotmixupideaswithhis
deceit,andyou..."
"Forgoodness'sake,whyareyousayingthis?"Icriedinhorror,wringingmyhandsand
goinguptoherquickly."No,ZinaidaFyodorovna,thisiscynicism.Youmustnotbeso
despairinglistentome,"Iwenton,catchingatathoughtwhichflasheddimlyuponme,
andwhichseemedtomemightstillsaveusboth."Listen.Ihavepassedthroughsomany
experiencesinmytimethatmyheadgoesroundatthethoughtofthem,andIhave
realisedwithmymind,withmyrackedsoul,thatmanfindshistruedestinyinnothingif
notinselfsacrificingloveforhisneighbour.Itistowardsthatwemuststrive,andthatis
ourdestination!Thatismyfaith!"
Iwantedtogoontospeakofmercy,offorgiveness,buttherewasaninsincerenoteinmy
voice,andIwasembarrassed.

"Iwanttolive!"Isaidgenuinely."Tolive,tolive!Iwantpeace,tranquillityIwant
warmththisseaheretohaveyounear.Oh,howIwishIcouldrouseinyouthesame
thirstforlife!Youspokejustnowoflove,butitwouldbeenoughformetohaveyou
near,tohearyourvoice,towatchthelookinyourface...!"
Sheflushedcrimson,andtohindermyspeaking,saidquickly:
"Youlovelife,andIhateit.Soourwayslieapart."
Shepouredherselfoutsometea,butdidnottouchit,wentintothebedroom,andlay
down.
"Iimagineitisbettertocutshortthisconversation,"shesaidtomefromwithin.
"Everythingisoverforme,andIwantnothing....Whatmoreistheretosay?"
"No,it'snotallover!"
"Oh,verywell!...Iknow!Iamsickofit....That'senough."
Igotup,tookaturnfromoneendoftheroomtotheother,andwentoutintothecorridor.
WhenlateatnightIwenttoherdoorandlistened,Idistinctlyheardhercrying.
Nextmorningthewaiter,handingmemyclothes,informedme,withasmile,thatthe
ladyinnumberthirteenwasconfined.Idressedsomehow,andalmostfaintingwithterror
rantoZinaidaFyodorovna.InherroomIfoundadoctor,amidwife,andanelderly
RussianladyfromHarkov,calledDaryaMilhailovna.Therewasasmellofether.Ihad
scarcelycrossedthethresholdwhenfromtheroomwhereshewaslyingIheardalow,
plaintivemoan,and,asthoughithadbeenwaftedmebythewindfromRussia,Ithought
ofOrlov,hisirony,Polya,theNeva,thedriftingsnow,thenthecabwithoutanapron,the
predictionIhadreadinthecoldmorningsky,andthedespairingcry"Nina!Nina!"
"Gointoher,"saidthelady.
IwentintoseeZinaidaFyodorovna,feelingasthoughIwerethefatherofthechild.She
waslyingwithhereyesclosed,lookingthinandpale,wearingawhitecapedgedwith
lace.Irememberthereweretwoexpressionsonherface:onecold,indifferent,
apathetictheotheralookofchildishhelplessnessgivenherbythewhitecap.Shedid
nothearmecomein,orheard,perhaps,butdidnotpayattention.Istood,lookedather,
andwaited.
Butherfacewascontortedwithpainsheopenedhereyesandgazedattheceiling,as
thoughwonderingwhatwashappeningtoher....Therewasalookofloathingonher
face.
"It'shorrible..."shewhispered.

"ZinaidaFyodorovna."Ispokehernamesoftly.Shelookedatmeindifferently,listlessly,
andclosedhereyes.Istoodtherealittlewhile,thenwentaway.
Atnight,DaryaMihailovnainformedmethatthechild,agirl,wasborn,butthatthe
motherwasinadangerouscondition.ThenIheardnoiseandbustleinthepassage.Darya
Mihailovnacametomeagainandwithafaceofdespair,wringingherhands,said:
"Oh,thisisawful!Thedoctorsuspectsthatshehastakenpoison!Oh,howbadly
Russiansdobehavehere!"
Andattwelveo'clockthenextdayZinaidaFyodorovnadied.

XVIII
Twoyearshadpassed.CircumstanceshadchangedIhadcometoPetersburgagainand
couldlivehereopenly.Iwasnolongerafraidofbeingandseemingsentimental,andgave
myselfupentirelytothefatherly,orratheridolatrousfeelingrousedinmebySonya,
ZinaidaFyodorovna'schild.Ifedherwithmyownhands,gaveherherbath,putherto
bed,nevertookmyeyesoffherfornightstogether,andscreamedwhenitseemedtome
thatthenursewasjustgoingtodropher.Mythirstfornormalordinarylifebecame
strongerandmoreacuteastimewenton,butwidervisionsstoppedshortatSonya,as
thoughIhadfoundinheratlastjustwhatIneeded.Ilovedthechildmadly.InherIsaw
thecontinuationofmylife,anditwasnotexactlythatIfancied,butIfelt,Ialmost
believed,thatwhenIhadcastoffatlastmylong,bony,beardedframe,Ishouldgoon
livinginthoselittleblueeyes,thatsilkyflaxenhair,thosedimpledpinkhandswhich
strokedmyfacesolovinglyandwereclaspedroundmyneck.
Sonya'sfuturemademeanxious.Orlovwasherfatherinherbirthcertificateshewas
calledKrasnovsky,andtheonlypersonwhoknewofherexistence,andtookinterestin
herthatis,Iwasatdeath'sdoor.Ihadtothinkaboutherseriously.
ThedayafterIarrivedinPetersburgIwenttoseeOrlov.Thedoorwasopenedtomebya
stoutoldfellowwithredwhiskersandnomoustache,wholookedlikeaGerman.Polya,
whowastidyingthedrawingroom,didnotrecogniseme,butOrlovknewmeatonce.
"Ah,Mr.Revolutionist!"hesaid,lookingatmewithcuriosity,andlaughing."Whatfate
hasbroughtyou?"
Hewasnotchangedintheleast:thesamewellgroomed,unpleasantface,thesameirony.
Andanewbookwaslyingonthetablejustasofold,withanivorypaperknifethrustin
it.HehadevidentlybeenreadingbeforeIcamein.Hemademesitdown,offeredmea
cigar,andwithadelicacyonlyfoundinwellbredpeople,concealingtheunpleasant
feelingarousedbymyfaceandmywastedfigure,observedcasuallythatIwasnotinthe
leastchanged,andthathewouldhaveknownmeanywhereinspiteofmyhavinggrown
abeard.Wetalkedoftheweather,ofParis.Todisposeasquicklyaspossibleofthe
oppressive,inevitablequestion,whichweigheduponhimandme,heasked:
"ZinaidaFyodorovnaisdead?"
"Yes,"Ianswered.
"Inchildbirth?"
"Yes,inchildbirth.Thedoctorsuspectedanothercauseofdeath,but...itismore
comfortingforyouandformetothinkthatshediedinchildbirth."
Hesigheddecorouslyandwassilent.Theangelofsilencepassedoverus,astheysay.

"Yes.Andhereeverythingisasitusedtobenochanges,"hesaidbriskly,seeingthatI
waslookingabouttheroom."Myfather,asyouknow,haslefttheserviceandislivingin
retirementIamstillinthesamedepartment.DoyourememberPekarsky?Heisjustthe
sameasever.Gruzindiedofdiphtheriaayearago....Kukushkinisalive,andoften
speaksofyou.Bytheway,"saidOrlov,droppinghiseyeswithanairofreserve,"when
Kukushkinheardwhoyouwere,hebegantellingeveryoneyouhadattackedhimand
triedtomurderhim...andthatheonlyjustescapedwithhislife."
Ididnotspeak.
"Oldservantsdonotforgettheirmasters....It'sveryniceofyou,"saidOrlovjocosely.
"Willyouhavesomewineandsomecoffee,though?Iwilltellthemtomakesome."
"No,thankyou.Ihavecometoseeyouaboutaveryimportantmatter,GeorgyIvanitch."
"Iamnotveryfondofimportantmatters,butIshallbegladtobeofservicetoyou.What
doyouwant?"
"Yousee,"Ibegan,growingagitated,"IhaveherewithmeZinaidaFyodorovna's
daughter....HithertoIhavebroughtherup,but,asyousee,beforemanydaysIshallbe
anemptysound.Ishouldliketodiewiththethoughtthatsheisprovidedfor."
Orlovcolouredalittle,frownedalittle,andtookacursoryandsullenglanceatme.He
wasunpleasantlyaffected,notsomuchbythe"importantmatter"asbymywordsabout
death,aboutbecominganemptysound.
"Yes,itmustbethoughtabout,"hesaid,screeninghiseyesasthoughfromthesun.
"Thankyou.Yousayit'sagirl?"
"Yes,agirl.Awonderfulchild!"
"Yes.Ofcourse,it'snotalapdog,butahumanbeing.Iunderstandwemustconsiderit
seriously.Iampreparedtodomypart,andamverygratefultoyou."
Hegotup,walkedabout,bitinghisnails,andstoppedbeforeapicture.
"Wemustthinkaboutit,"hesaidinahollowvoice,standingwithhisbacktome."Ishall
gotoPekarsky'stodayandwillaskhimtogotoKrasnovsky's.Idon'tthinkhewillmake
muchadoaboutconsentingtotakethechild."
"But,excuseme,Idon'tseewhatKrasnovskyhasgottodowithit,"Isaid,alsogetting
upandwalkingtoapictureattheotherendoftheroom.
"Butshebearshisname,ofcourse!"saidOrlov.

"Yes,hemaybelegallyobligedtoacceptthechildIdon'tknowbutIcametoyou,
GeorgyIvanitch,nottodiscussthelegalaspect."
"Yes,yes,youareright,"heagreedbriskly."IbelieveIamtalkingnonsense.Butdon't
exciteyourself.Wewilldecidethemattertoourmutualsatisfaction.Ifonethingwon't
do,we'lltryanotherandifthatwon'tdo,we'lltryathirdonewayoranotherthis
delicatequestionshallbesettled.Pekarskywillarrangeitall.Besogoodastoleaveme
youraddressandIwillletyouknowatoncewhatwedecide.Whereareyouliving?"
Orlovwrotedownmyaddress,sighed,andsaidwithasmile:
"Oh,Lord,whatajobitistobethefatherofalittledaughter!ButPekarskywillarrange
itall.Heisasensibleman.DidyoustaylonginParis?"
"Twomonths."
Weweresilent.OrlovwasevidentlyafraidIshouldbegintalkingofthechildagain,and
to turnmyattentioninanotherdirection,said:
"Youhaveprobablyforgottenyourletterbynow.ButIhavekeptit.Iunderstandyour
moodatthetime,and,Imustown,Irespectthatletter.'Damnablecoldblood,''Asiatic,'
'coarselaugh'thatwascharmingandcharacteristic,"hewentonwithanironicalsmile.
"Andthefundamentalthoughtisperhapsnearthetruth,thoughonemightdisputethe
questionendlessly.Thatis,"hehesitated,"notdisputethethoughtitself,butyourattitude
tothequestionyourtemperament,sotosay.Yes,mylifeisabnormal,corrupted,ofno
usetoanyone,andwhatpreventsmefrombeginninganewlifeiscowardicethereyou
arequiteright.Butthatyoutakeitsomuchtoheart,aretroubled,andreducedtodespair
by itthat'sirrationalthereyouarequitewrong."
"Alivingmancannothelpbeingtroubledandreducedtodespairwhenheseesthathe
himselfisgoingtoruinandothersaregoingtoruinroundhim."
"Whodoubtsit!IamnotadvocatingindifferenceallIaskforisanobjectiveattitudeto
life.Themoreobjective,thelessdangeroffallingintoerror.Onemustlookintotheroot
ofthings,andtrytoseeineveryphenomenonacauseofalltheothercauses.Wehave
grownfeeble,slackdegraded,infact.Ourgenerationisentirelycomposedof
neurasthenicsandwhimpererswedonothingbuttalkoffatigueandexhaustion.Butthe
faultisneitheryoursnormineweareoftoolittleconsequencetoaffectthedestinyofa
wholegeneration.Wemustsupposeforthatlarger,moregeneralcauseswithasolid
_raisond'tre_fromthebiologicalpointofview.Weareneurasthenics,flabby,
renegades,butperhapsit'snecessaryandofserviceforgenerationsthatwillcomeafter
us.NotonehairfallsfromtheheadwithoutthewilloftheHeavenlyFatherinother
words,nothinghappensbychanceinNatureandinhumanenvironment.Everythinghas
itscauseandisinevitable.Andifso,whyshouldweworryandwritedespairingletters?"

"That'sallverywell,"Isaid,thinkingalittle."Ibelieveitwillbeeasierandclearerfor
thegenerationstocomeourexperiencewillbeattheirservice.Butonewantstolive
apartfromfuturegenerationsandnotonlyfortheirsake.Lifeisonlygivenusonce,and
onewantstoliveitboldly,withfullconsciousnessandbeauty.Onewantstoplaya
striking,independent,noblepartonewantstomakehistorysothatthosegenerations
maynothavetherighttosayofeachofusthatwewerenonentitiesorworse....I
believewhatisgoingonaboutusisinevitableandnotwithoutapurpose,butwhathaveI
todowiththatinevitability?Whyshouldmyegobelost?"
"Well,there'snohelpforit,"sighedOrlov,gettingupand,asitwere,givingmeto
understandthatourconversationwasover.
Itookmyhat.
"We'veonlybeensittingherehalfanhour,andhowmanyquestionswehavesettled,
whenyoucometothinkofit!"saidOrlov,seeingmeintothehall."SoIwillseetothat
matter....IwillseePekarskytoday.. ..Don'tbeuneasy."
HestoodwaitingwhileIputonmycoat,andwasobviouslyrelievedatthefeelingthatI
wasgoingaway.
"GeorgyIvanitch,givemebackmyletter,"Isaid.
"Certainly."
Hewenttohisstudy,andaminutelaterreturnedwiththeletter.Ithankedhimandwent
away.
ThenextdayIgotaletterfromhim.Hecongratulatedmeonthesatisfactorysettlement
ofthequestion.Pekarskyknewalady,hewrote,whokeptaschool,somethinglikea
kindergarten,whereshetookquitelittlechildren.Theladycouldbeentirelydepended
upon,butbeforeconcludinganythingwithheritwouldbeaswelltodiscussthematter
withKrasnovskyitwasamatterofform.HeadvisedmetoseePekarskyatonceandto
takethebirthcertificatewithme,ifIhadit."Restassuredofthesincererespectand
devotionofyourhumbleservant...."
Ireadthisletter,andSonyasatonthetableandgazedatmeattentivelywithoutblinking,
asthoughsheknewherfatewasbeingdecided.

THEHUSBAND
INthecourseofthemaneuvrestheN cavalryregimenthaltedforanightatthedistrict
townofK.Suchaneventasthevisitofofficersalwayshasthemostexcitingand
inspiringeffectontheinhabitantsofprovincialtowns.Theshopkeepersdreamofgetting
ridoftherustysausagesand"bestbrand"sardinesthathavebeenlyingfortenyearson
theirshelvestheinnsandrestaurantskeepopenallnighttheMilitaryCommandant,his
secretary,andthelocalgarrisonputontheirbestuniformsthepoliceflittoandfrolike
mad,whiletheeffectontheladiesisbeyondalldescription.
TheladiesofK,hearingtheregimentapproaching,forsooktheirpansofboilingjam
andranintothestreet.Forgettingtheirmorning_deshabille_andgeneraluntidiness,they
rushedbreathlesswithexcitementtomeettheregiment,andlistenedgreedilytotheband
playingthemarch.Lookingattheirpale,ecstaticfaces,onemighthavethoughtthose
strainscamefromsomeheavenlychoirratherthanfromamilitarybrassband.
"Theregiment!"theycriedjoyfully."Theregimentiscoming!"
Whatcouldthisunknownregimentthatcamebychancetodayandwoulddepartatdawn
tomorrowmeantothem?
Afterwards,whentheofficerswerestandinginthemiddleofthesquare,and,withtheir
handsbehindthem,discussingthequestionofbillets,alltheladiesweregathered
togetherattheexaminingmagistrate'sandvyingwithoneanotherintheircriticismsof
theregiment.Theyalreadyknew,goodnessknowshow,thatthecolonelwasmarried,but
notlivingwithhiswifethattheseniorofficer'swifehadababyborndeadeveryyear
thattheadjutantwashopelesslyinlovewithsomecountess,andhadevenonceattempted
suicide.Theykneweverything.Whenapockmarkedsoldierinaredshirtdartedpastthe
windows,theyknewforcertainthatitwasLieutenantRymzov'sorderlyrunningabout
thetown,tryingtogetsomeEnglishbitteraleontickforhismaster.Theyhadonly
caughtapassingglimpseoftheofficers'backs,buthadalreadydecidedthattherewasnot
onehandsomeorinterestingmanamongthem....Havingtalkedtotheirhearts'content,
theysentfortheMilitaryCommandantandthecommitteeoftheclub,andinstructed
thematallcoststomakearrangementsforadance.
Theirwisheswerecarriedout.Atnineo'clockintheeveningthemilitarybandwas
playinginthestreetbeforetheclub,whileintheclubitselftheofficersweredancing
withtheladiesofK.Theladiesfeltasthoughtheywereonwings.Intoxicatedbythe
dancing,themusic,andtheclankofspurs,theythrewthemselvesheartandsoulinto
makingtheacquaintanceoftheirnewpartners,andquiteforgottheiroldcivilianfriends.
Theirfathersandhusbands,forcedtemporarilyintothebackground,crowdedroundthe
meagrerefreshmenttableintheentrancehall.Allthesegovernmentcashiers,secretaries,
clerks,andsuperintendentsstale,sicklylooking,clumsyfigureswereperfectlywell
awareoftheirinferiority.Theydidnoteven entertheballroom,butcontented

themselveswithwatchingtheirwivesanddaughtersinthedistancedancingwiththe
accomplishedandgracefulofficers.
AmongthehusbandswasShalikov,thetaxcollectoranarrow,spitefulsoul,givento
drink,withabig,closelycroppedhead,andthick,protrudinglips.Hehadhada
universityeducationtherehadbeenatimewhenheusedtoreadprogressiveliterature
andsingstudents'songs,butnow,ashesaidofhimself,hewasataxcollectorand
nothingmore.
Hestoodleaningagainstthedoorpost,hiseyesfixedonhiswife,AnnaPavlovna,alittle
brunetteofthirty,withalongnoseandapointedchin.Tightlylaced,withherface
carefullypowdered,shedancedwithoutpausingforbreathdancedtillshewasreadyto
dropexhausted.Butthoughshewasexhaustedinbody,herspiritwasinexhaustible....
Onecouldseeasshedancedthatherthoughtswerewiththepast,thatfarawaypastwhen
sheusedtodanceatthe"CollegeforYoungLadies,"dreamingofalifeofluxuryand
gaiety,andneverdoubtingthatherhusbandwastobeaprinceor,attheworst,abaron.
Thetaxcollectorwatched,scowlingwithspite....
Itwasnotjealousyhewasfeeling.Hewasillhumouredfirst,becausetheroomwas
taken upwithdancingandtherewasnowherehecouldplayagameofcardssecondly,
becausehecouldnotendurethesoundofwindinstrumentsand,thirdly,becausehe
fanciedtheofficerstreatedthecivilianssomewhattoocasuallyanddisdainfully.But
whataboveeverythingrevoltedhimandmovedhimtoindignationwastheexpressionof
happinessonhiswife'sface.
"Itmakesmesicktolookather!"hemuttered."Goingonforforty,andnothingtoboast
ofatanytime,andshemustpowderherfaceandlaceherselfup!Andfrizzingherhair!
Flirtingandmakingfaces,andfancyingshe'sdoingthethinginstyle!Ugh!you'rea
prettyfigure,uponmysoul!"
AnnaPavlovnawassolostinthedancethatshedidnotonceglanceatherhusband.
"Ofcoursenot!Wheredowepoorcountrybumpkinscomein!"sneeredthetaxcollector.
"Weareatadiscountnow....We'reclumsyseals,unpolishedprovincialbears,andshe's
thequeenoftheball!Shehaskeptenoughofherlookstopleaseevenofficers...They'd
not objecttomakinglovetoher,Idaresay!"
Duringthemazurkathetaxcollector'sfacetwitchedwithspite.Ablackhairedofficer
withprominenteyesandTartarcheekbonesdancedthemazurkawithAnnaPavlovna.
Assumingasternexpression,heworkedhislegswithgravityandfeeling,andsocrooked
hiskneesthathelookedlikeajackadandypulledbystrings,whileAnnaPavlovna,pale
andthrilled,bendingherfigurelanguidlyandturninghereyesup,triedtolookasthough
shescarcelytouchedthefloor,andevidentlyfeltherselfthatshewasnotonearth,notat
thelocalclub,butsomewherefar,farawayintheclouds.Notonlyherfacebuther

wholefigurewasexpressiveofbeatitude....Thetaxcollectorcouldendureitno
longerhefeltadesiretojeeratthatbeatitude,tomakeAnnaPavlovnafeelthatshehad
forgottenherself,thatlifewasbynomeanssodelightfulasshefanciednowinher
excitement....
"YouwaitI'llteachyoutosmilesoblissfully,"hemuttered."Youarenota boarding
schoolmiss,youarenotagirl.Anoldfrightoughttorealisesheisafright!"
Pettyfeelingsofenvy,vexation,woundedvanity,ofthatsmall,provincialmisanthropy
engenderedinpettyofficialsbyvodkaandasedentarylife,swarmedinhisheartlike
mice.Waitingfortheendofthemazurka,hewentintothehallandwalkeduptohiswife.
AnnaPavlovnawassittingwithherpartner,and,flirtingherfanandcoquettishly
droppinghereyelids,wasdescribinghowsheusedtodanceinPetersburg(herlipswere
purseduplikearosebud,andshepronounced"athomeinPtrsburg").
"Anyuta,letusgohome,"croakedthetaxcollector.
Seeingherhusbandstandingbeforeher,AnnaPavlovnastartedasthoughrecallingthe
factthatshehadahusbandthensheflushedallover:shefeltashamedthatshehadsuch
asicklylooking,illhumoured,ordinaryhusband.
"Letusgohome,"repeatedthetaxcollector.
"Why?It'squiteearly!"
"Ibegyoutocomehome!"saidthetaxcollectordeliberately,with aspitefulexpression.
"Why?Hasanythinghappened?"AnnaPavlovnaaskedinaflutter.
"Nothinghashappened,butIwishyoutogohomeatonce....Iwishitthat'senough,
andwithoutfurthertalk,please."
AnnaPavlovnawasnotafraidofherhusband,butshefeltashamedonaccountofher
partner,whowaslookingatherhusbandwithsurpriseandamusement.Shegotupand
movedalittleapartwithherhusband.
"Whatnotionisthis?"shebegan."Whygohome?Why,it'snoteleveno'clock."
"Iwishit,andthat'senough.Comealong,andthat'sallaboutit."
"Don'tbesilly!Gohomealoneifyouwantto."
"AllrightthenIshallmakeascene."
Thetaxcollectorsawthelookofbeatitudegraduallyvanishfromhiswife'sface,saw
howashamedandmiserableshewasandhefeltalittlehappier.

"Whydoyouwantmeatonce?"askedhiswife.
"Idon'twantyou,butIwishyoutobeathome.Iwishit,that'sall."
AtfirstAnnaPavlovnarefusedtohearofit,thenshebeganentreatingherhusbandtolet
herstayjustanotherhalfhourthen,withoutknowingwhy,shebegantoapologise,to
protestandallinawhisper,withasmile,thatthespectatorsmightnotsuspectthatshe
washavingatiffwithherhusband.Shebeganassuringhimshewouldnotstaylong,only
anothertenminutes,onlyfiveminutesbutthetaxcollectorstuckobstinatelytohispoint.
"Stayifyoulike,"hesaid,"butI'llmakeasceneifyoudo."
AndasshetalkedtoherhusbandAnnaPavlovnalookedthinner,older,plainer.Pale,
bitingherlips,andalmostcrying,shewentouttotheentryandbeganputtingonher
things.
"Youarenotgoing?"askedtheladiesinsurprise."AnnaPavlovna,youarenotgoing,
dear?"
"Herheadaches,"saidthetaxcollectorforhiswife.
Comingoutoftheclub,thehusbandandwifewalkedallthewayhomeinsilence.The
taxcollectorwalkedbehindhiswife,andwatchingherdowncast,sorrowful,humiliated
littlefigure,herecalledthelookofbeatitudewhichhadsoirritatedhimattheclub,and
theconsciousnessthatthebeatitudewasgonefilledhissoulwithtriumph.Hewas
pleasedandsatisfied,andatthesametimehefeltthelackofsomethinghewouldhave
likedtogobacktotheclubandmakeeveryonefeeldrearyandmiserable,sothatall
mightknowhowstaleandworthlesslifeiswhenyouwalkalongthestreetsinthedark
andheartheslushofthemudunderyourfeet,andwhenyouknowthatyouwillwakeup
nextmorningwithnothingtolookforwardtobutvodkaandcards.Oh,howawfulitis!
AndAnnaPavlovnacouldscarcelywalk....Shewasstillundertheinfluenceofthe
dancing,themusic,thetalk,thelights,andthenoisesheaskedherselfasshewalked
alongwhyGodhadthusafflictedher.Shefeltmiserable,insulted,andchokingwithhate
asshelistenedtoherhusband'sheavyfootsteps.Shewassilent,tryingtothinkofthe
mostoffensive,biting,andvenomouswordshecouldhurlatherhusband,andatthe
sametimeshewasfullyawarethatnowordcouldpenetratehertaxcollector'shide.What
didhecareforwords?Herbitterestenemycouldnothavecontrivedforheramore
helplessposition.
Andmeanwhilethebandwasplayingandthedarknesswasfullofthemostrousing,
intoxicatingdancetunes.

THEEND