quotes: w

I think you should know I worry a lot. Like I worry about the Nobel sperm bank.
Something bothers me about the world's greatest geniuses sitting around reading
pornography and jerking off.
-Jane Wagner
Sex is just the sublimation of the math urge.
-David Wald
Anyway, there's plenty of room for doubt. It might seem easy enough, but computer
language design is just like a stroll in the park. Jurassic Park, that is.
-Larry Wall
Artificial intelligences make mistakes too, only faster.
-Larry Wall
Down that path lies madness. On the other hand, the road to hell is paved with melting
snowballs.
-Larry Wall
If you consistently take an antagonistic approach, however, people are going to start
thinking you're from New York.
-Larry Wall
In general, they do what you want, unless you want consistency.
-Larry Wall
Tactical? TACTICAL!?!? Hey, buddy, we went from kilotons to megatons several
minutes ago. We don't need no stinkin' tactical nukes. (By the way, do you have change
for 10 million people?)
-Larry Wall
Unix is like a toll road on which you have to stop every 50 feet to pay another nickel. But
hey! You only feel 5 cents poorer each time.
-Larry Wall
Well, enough clowning around. Perl is, in intent, a cleaned up and summarized version of
that wonderful semi-natural language known as "Unix".
-Larry Wall
Is it not the sound of a wall that people have stopped banging their heads against?
-Larry Wall
Before the Gulf War started, the Iraqi Army was the the fourth largest in the world. Now,
it's the second largest army in Iraq.
-Wall Street Journal, March 15, 1991
The later models can pack nearly half a pound of dynamite, enough to blow off the better
part of a leg. A fair number of the mines have been washed away by rain or set off over
the years by wild boar and deer -- the noise of exploding wildlife is a well-known
neighborhood sound for Germans living near the former border.
-The Wall Street Journal, 4/14/93
The point here is that the protagonists' attempts to revise the "script" of history in "T2"
parallel the director's having to muck around with "T2"'s own script in order for
Schwarzenegger to be in the movie. Multivalent ironies like this -- which require that
film audiences know all kinds of behind-the-scenes stuff from watching Entertainment
Tonight and reading Premiere magazine -- are not commercial postmodernism at its
finest.
-David Foster Wallace
Alright, dammit. What song is this from? I mean - I know it's a Depeche Mode tune, but
who covered it most recently?. Oooooo! Nevermind! It's that Trent Reznor guy from
Nine Foot Railroad Ties or something, isn't it?
-Mike "Moose" Wallace
Awright - don't MAKE me whip out a bottle of Stoli, angst boy...
-Mike Wallace
Hey now - don't get to thinking you're the only socially inept loser we have. You just
happen to have passed the bar first, rat boy.
-Mike Wallace
However, you must be aware of the following procedures ... otherwise you could find
yourself checked into the Rain-Man Suite of Hotel Smackdown.
-Mike Wallace
I had a splitting headache, and Chris had to lead me around by the hand to liquor stores.
-Mike Wallace
I just used an emoticon, I feel so unclean...
-Mike Wallace
I'll supply the buns (mine and otherwise) and enough angst for 20. If there's call for any
more, talk to Vince. He should be able to take up the slack.
-Mike Wallace
In a word, Vodka. In a few more, Amaretto, Rum, Gin.
-Mike Wallace
It's an electro-industrial band - they're playing tonight. $5. That's $29.95 too much.
-Mike Wallace
It's the urinal cakes - I swear to god. Try one.
-Mike Wallace
Stick this in your pope hat and smite it!
-Mike Wallace
Sure - long as it's entertaining and cheap. On that note - I suspect I'll spend the evening
coding with kate.
-Mike Wallace
That may well be, but our socially inept losers have hot wives and can pass the bar on
their first try.
-Mike Wallace
The correct solution to a problem like this is to call my ass.
-Mike Wallace
The glide point bloweth mine arse! Thinkpad nipples gooooood!
-Mike Wallace
This is just like spin-the-bottle ... only freakishly wrong.
-Mike Wallace
Ultimately, communism cannot be, by definition, imposed by the state. Evidently, only
Gene Roddenberry can pull it off, God Rest His Ass.
-Mike Wallace
We'll be right there. By which I mean "Come over. We still have party drinks."
-Mike Wallace
Welcome to civilization-- get away from me!
-Mike Wallace
You couldn't ruthless your way out of a food fight, you wuss.
-Mike Wallace
There is little sense in worrying about winds and storms, for these things come and go of
there own accord. Worry instead about your ship and crew, your supplies and sails, for
over them alone have you command. Always remember that hard work is the hull of your
ship, and careful planning the rigging that supports your sails. Curse not the Gods when
your hopes and dreams seem certain to be crushed upon the rocks of reality. For it was
you alone who charted the course, and you alone who must keep your dreams afloat.
-William Wallace
Politicians write history. It's too bad they don't read it, too.
-John H. Waller, Beyond the Khyber Pass: The Road to British Disaster in the First
Afghan War"
This Inauguration was special much in the way that some olympics are special. It doesn't
matter whether Georgie wrote that speech or even understood it. What does matter is that
he participated. He did his best, and for that he deserves a medal and a big hug.
-Nancy Walls
This world is a comedy for those who think but a tragedy for those who feel.
-Horace Walpole
The history of African-Americans during the past 400 years is traditionally narrated as an
ongoing struggle against oppression and indifference on the part of the American
mainstream, a struggle charted as an upward arc progressing toward ever more justice
and opportunity. This description is accurate, but there is another, equally true way of
narrating that history, and its implications are as frightening for the country as a whole as
they are for blacks as a group. The history of African-Americans since the discovery of
the New World is the story of their encounter with technology, an encounter that has
proved perhaps irremediably devastating to their hopes, dreams, and possibilities.
-Anthony Walton
...this is a dark and terrible era where you will find little comfort or hope. If you want to
take part in the adventure then prepare yourself now. Forget the power of technology,
science and common humanity. Forget the promise of progress and understanding, for
there is no peace amongst the stars, only an eternity of carnage and slaughter and the
laughter of thirsting gods.
-Warhammer 40,000 promotional copy
Art is what you can get away with.
-Andy Warhol
Artists make things for people they don't really need.
-Andy Warhol
If men are going to destroy the planet Earth and all its inhabitants with violence and wars,
all men should be killed, to preserve the rest of human kind.
-Betsy Warrior
The United States is in no sense founded upon the Christian doctrine.
-George Washington
To be prepared for war is one of the most effectual means of preserving peace.
-George Washington
AOL really pushes that bozo theme to the limit, though.
-The Washington Post
...six first-rate programmers, a managerial challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
-The Washington Post Magazine
WARNING: This page designed by programmers. According to our staff artists, viewing
this page may be hazardous to your aesthetic health.
-Disclaimer at www.watervalley.net
A note on foreign shipments: canadian orders get an additional $3.00 tacked on to
shipping, the rest of the world gets an additional $10.00 -- mostly because they're not as
good at hockey and lacrosse.
-Shipping term on www.copyleft.net
In a cruel and evil world, being cynical can allow you to get some entertainment out of it.
-Daniel Waters
UNIX developers design hard-to-use systems because they've only experienced hard-to-
use sytems -- it's like child abuse.
-Ed Watkeys
One could not be a successful scientist without realizing, in contrast to the popular
conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists, a goodly number of
scientists are not only narrow-minded and dull, but also just stupid.
-James Watson
You've got to try and be with people who are brighter than yourself, you've got to be
prepared sometimes to do things that people say you are not qualified to do, and since
you know you are going to get in trouble, you ought to have someone to save you after
you are in deep shit, so you better always have someone who believes in you.
-James Watson
Just saying 'no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way 'Have a nice day' cures chronic
depression.
-Faye Wattleton
A friend is one who would help you move. A best friend is one who would help you
move a body.
-Jeff Wayman
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the
things I can and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they
pissed me off.
-Jeff Wayman
Mixing women and alcohol is best done with a blender.
-Weave, #gothic
An infinte number of rednecks, in an infinite number of pickup trucks, firing an infinite
number of shotguns at an infinite number of road signs, will produce all the great works
of litareture - in braille.
-Stephen Webb
Don't make me make you hurt me.
-Keith Weber
I'm so insecure, I've put child safety seats on all my mood swings.
-weegee@iglou.com
Relative calm is expected in South Central Los Angeles for the next several weeks, as the
looters stay home and try to program their new VCRs.
-Weekend Update
Despite what you might think, we don't just sit around mooning the hall monitor all day.
Lots of people assume that a day at Computer Camp is a never-ending cavalcade of net
games and bare buttocks, but there's a great deal of real work involved as well. There's a
price to pay for all this glamour.
-webmaster@bungie.com
Did you know that Erwin Rommel earned the nickname "Desert Fox" after numerous
officers saw him prancing naked across the African desert after dark with a dead chicken
in his mouth? Don't believe that "brilliant tactician" horse puckey for a second.
-webmaster@bungie.com
It's not really possible to "like" Taco Bell, because Taco Bell isn't really a choice.
Sometimes you just need to eat a mystery meat burrito at two in the morning, just like
sometimes you simply need to travel to Philadelphia. Life is funny that way.
-webmaster@bungie.com
My latest idea is for a beat-em-up game in the Mortal Wombat vein called Friedrich
Nietzsche's Art Of Fighting. The player basically has two kinds of attacks: the first attack
will actually increase your opponent's health bar, while the second will kill the opponent
instantly no matter how strong he or she is. Thus, whatever doesn't kill you makes you
stronger, in every possible sense. I'm sure there's a market for it.
-webmaster@bungie.com
Nobody likes a smartass. Unless you happen to be me, in which case you are adored by
millions. Fifty Million Webmaster Fans Can't Be Wrong.
-webmaster@bungie.com
Right now IBM is running all these commercials focusing on these generally clueless
businesspeople who just sit around surfing the web instead of working. Kinda funny
when you think about it. Next time anyone asks me why OS/2 didn't catch on, I'll point
them to IBM.
-webmaster@bungie.com
There's a time-worn adage about good things coming to those who wait, and another
hoary old chestnut about Rome taking a long time to build, and another one about never
judging a software company until you have walked a mile in their moccasins and coded a
3D engine with real terrain, real physics, and nut-crushing lightning effects. So cut us a
little slack, jack.
-webmaster@bungie.com
I'm the kind of person with a nerf gun who'll shoot you in the crotch if you cause me any
problems
-Sam Weiler
The effort to understand the universe is one of the very few things that lifts human life a
little above the level of farce and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
-Steven Weinberg
Any machine constructed for the purpose of making decisions, if it does not possess the
power or learning, will be completely literal-minded. Woe to us if we let it decide our
conduct, unless we have previously examined the laws of its action, and know fully that
its conduct will be carried out on principles acceptable to us! On the other hand, the
machine... which can learn and can make decisions on the basis of its learning, will in no
way be obliged to make such decisions as we should have made, or will be acceptable to
us. For the man who is not aware of this, to throw the problem of his responsibility on the
machine, whether it can learn or not, is to cast his responsibility to the winds, and to find
it coming back seated on the whirlwind. I have spoken of machines, but not only of
machines having brains of brass and thews of iron. When human atoms are knit into an
organization in which they are used, not in their full right as responsible human beings,
but as cogs and levers and rods, it matters little that their raw material is flesh and blood.
What is used as an element in a machine, is in fact an element in a machine. Whether we
entrust our decisions to machines of metal, or to those machines of flesh and blood which
are bureaus, and vast laboratories and armies and corporations, we shall never receive the
right answers to our questions unless we ask the right questions... The hour is very late
and the choice of good and evil knocks at our door.
-Norbert Weiner, The Human Use of Human Beings
You should never stand in love's way, especially if love is driving a bus.
-R. M. Weiner
To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password.
-David Weingart
In the beginning, there was nothing. And God said, 'Let there be Light.' And there was
still nothing. But, you could see it a lot better.
-Dave Weinstein
Never be fatalistic about the inevitability of nuclear war or the destruction of our
environment. There are _ways_ to avoid the holocaust and to make the world a cleaner
place. We must never cease to search for them.
-Victor F. Weisskopf
Miracles sometimes occur, but one has to work terribly hard for them.
-Chaim Weizmann
Don't pay attention to a word the press says. Wrap yesterday's fish in whatever they say
tomorrow.
-Jack Welch
The man who raises a fist has run out of ideas.
-H.G. Wells, "Time After Time"
There is no difference between Time and any of the three dimensions of Space, except
that our consciousness moves along it.
-H. G. Wells
My name is Raquel Welch. I am here for visual effects, and I have two of them.
-Raquel Welch, presenting the Academy Award for Best Visual Effects
mechanical engineers build weapons. civil engineers build targets.
-Wendigo
Something's wrong with my monitor settings. This background looks like an Andy
Warhol painting.
-Jeremy Werner
We are men of action. Lies do not become us.
-Wesley, "the Princess Bride"
Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.
-Mae West
When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.
-Mae West
I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is; I only know that
people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a
doormat.
-Rebecca West
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of
communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.
-Western Union memo, 1877
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
-U.S. General William Westmoreland
I am fine, really... See, I can still remember my password...
-Alex Wetmore
If this post isn't the poster-child for karma whoring, I don't know what is.
-Wil Wheaton on Slashdot
Meeting chicks? Dude. I was 13. If you'd have put a naked girl and a 720 degrees set to
free play in front of me, I would have said, "Skate or Die!" as I pushed her aside.
-Wil Wheaton
So I'm back from outerspace, and I just came in to find you here with that sad look upon
your face. I changed my stupid IP, I even changed my URL. The only thing left to do is
put up pics of naked girls!!
-Wil Wheaton
If you like caffeine and can't stand coffee, drink Mountain Dew. If you drink a case of the
stuff within a short amount of time, you can't blink. It's really cool.
-David Paul White
No two countries with a MacDonald's Restaurant have ever gone to war with one another.
-Matthew White
The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and to watch someone
else do it wrong without comment.
-Theodore H. White
It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
-Alfred North Whitehead
There are no whole truths; all truths are half-truths. It is trying to treat them as whole
truths that plays the devil.
-Alfred North Whitehead
Wake up Harry, you're having a very important nightmare.
-Gavin Whitehope, Wild Palms
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.
-Katharine Whitehorn
If the shoe were on the other foot, Microsoft would have left it in and called it a feature.
-Derren Whiteman
The authors take no credit for hurt feelings or crushed egos, and that being said, all death
threats will be laughed at. In other words, it's a story. You bring your lawyers, we'll bring
our automatic weapons, it'll be a party.
-Wide Open Spaces disclaimer
Overall, however, the adaptation falls flat, lacking the true grit of its characters, lacking,
in fact, in both the Fear and Loathing Departments.
-Brad Wieners reviewing the radio adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
-Alfred E. Wiggam
Men were made big, and small. Samuel Colt made them all equal. Now, Gaston Glock
has made some better than others.
-Dave Wiggins
Please refrain from touching that extremely cool piece of equipment.
-Dave Wiggins
As long as war is regarded as wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is
looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
-Oscar Wilde
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
-Oscar Wilde
Experience is the name that everyone gives to their mistakes.
-Oscar Wilde
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable we have to change it every six months.
-Oscar Wilde
It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
-Oscar Wilde
The brotherhood of man is not a mere poet's dream; it is a most depressing and
humiliating reality.
-Oscar Wilde
The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and
literature is not read.
-Oscar Wilde
The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it intensely.
-Oscar Wilde
The truth is rarely pure, and never simple.
-Oscar Wilde
There is no such thing as a moral or an immoral book. Books are well written or badly
written.
-Oscar Wilde
To do nothing is the most difficult thing in the world -- the most difficult and the most
intellectual.
-Oscar Wilde-
Football is a mistake. It combines two of the worst things about American life. It is
violence punctuated by committee meetings.
-George Will
happiness is not a condition that is produced or stands on its own; rather, it is a frame of
mind that accompanies an activity. But another frame of mind comes first. It is a steely
determination to do well.
-George Will
If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the Constitution. It
conveys precious little of the flavor of today's statecraft. Instead, read selected portions of
the Washington telephone directory containing listings for all the organizations with titles
beginning with the word "National".
-George Will
Could you turn the light down from 'Inquisition' to 'mellow?'
-Andrew Williams
I thought they weren't gonna let me in, cuz i'm not dressed dumb.
-Andrew Williams
I thought it was called 'all fat chicks on the dance floor'.
-Andrew Williams
Why can't we just shoot him in the head. Can we do that? Just shoot him, right in the
head. God help me...
-Mark Williams
We Americans, we're a simple people... but piss us off, and we'll bomb your cities.
-Robin Williams
Don't confuse arrogance with chronic correctness.
-Steve Williams
It's been a horrible year for Disney. I'm all for gentlemanly fair play. I enjoy a nice
sporting match. But it's time to kick Disney when they're down. Why? Because when
they get back up, it will be buying the Social Security system and using new revenues to
pipe the lyrics to "Be Our Guest" subliminally from low Earth-orbiting satellites. They'll
turn into a lobotomized Angela Lansbury in her younger years, and animatronic
bluegrass-loving bears will run the DMV.
-Tish Williams, Upside
If the American dream is for Americans only, it will remain our dream and never be our
destiny.
-Rene de Visme Williamson
As for the larger question of whether our books are suitable for learning how to program:
I was first going to contradict what 'the publisher' said in his article, but then I noticed
that he was quoting me. I quickly changed my strategy.
-Frank Willison
You know what I hate? It's all the 'My' stuff these days. MySpace, MyProfile,
MyNotifications, MyContacts (I lose them all the time), MyWallet, MyUsage. . . Please!
I'm not a three year-old or a Jack Russell Terrier. I'm not mesmerized by the first person
singular possessive pronoun. I know that it's not really mine; Microsoft has it and charges
me to use it. I'm old-fashioned; I keep MyWallet in MyPants, next to MyAss. And guess
what you can do?
-Frank Willison
HEY NOW!!!! YOU'RE MAKING ME WRITE IN ALL CAPS.
-Kristiina Wilson
... i found myself making pissy comments about all their pissy comments. it was pretty
dumb.
-Kristiina Wilson
I HEART CHEAP IRONY
-Kristiina Wilson
i think what modern art needs to do next is staple marilyn manson to a wall. shock value
PLUS the crucifixion cliche!
-Kristiina Wilson
i think you should rework that statement. a much more useful version is: "From now on,
anyone gets smacked."
-Kristiina Wilson
If you go to school with 1,500 kids in cheap chinos and brew-thru tshirts, 50% of them
wear baseball caps and %75 percent like emmet swimming while %23 prefer pearl jam,
how many people do you know that totally suck? Also, if %97 of the girls squeal a LOT
and talk about beer, how many do you kill?
-Kristiina Wilson
In the interest of obnoxiousness, and also so that people who don't know me personally
won't recognize me on the street, these images are all one of 3 things: stupid, old or
embarassing. Because we all know i never act or look that way anymore. Yeah.
-Kristiina Wilson
I'm Marilyn Mansonite Zero! I'm SSOOOSOo energetically moody.
-Kristiina Wilson
i'm not sure when my feelings towards design turned from interest to hate. oh no wait! I
guess that would be when i SOLD OUT.
-Kristiina Wilson
join the club, learn the handshake, shoot yourself.
-Kristiina Wilson
Look! A GothiKKKKKKKK Wanker!
-Kristiina Wilson
on a side note, i seem to have finally gotten over my "stupid men" phase. this probably
means i'll go back into my "nun" phase or my "angst" phase or perhaps just stay here
stuck in my annoying "quotes" phase.
-Kristiina Wilson
i love how i always inform people of that, like it's some BIG HONOR that requires
notification. "Look! I have validated not only your witty speech patterns, but also your
existance! ON THE WEB!"
-Kristiina Wilson
SO, U WANT TO BE AN ARTIST? OR JUST ACT LIKE ONE? WELL NOW U CAN!
4 ONLY $75, U 2 CAN SPEND A WEEK IN THE DESERT, ROUGHING IT WITH
OTHER 'CREATIVES' AND MAKING 'CONCEPT PIECES' ON THE INTERNET!
DON'T FORGET TO PACK YOUR ATTITUDE, YOUR WILLINGNESS TO PAY
FOR FAKE INSPIRATION AND COMMUNITY, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
YOUR IGNORANCE!
-Kristiina Wilson
Speaking of Marilyn Manson, there are no spooky kids here. What there are instead are
millions of mosquitos. They try to suck your blood, but at least they don't try to do it
while going to the Bank wearing capes and fangs and K-RAD plastic pants.
-Kristiina Wilson
when i was a freshman here i dated this horrible guy who used to wear ruffly shirts like
that, becuase he was SUPERGOTH. he turned out to just be a big wanker. which is really
the same thing.
-Kristiina Wilson
wow - that's an impressive headache. it causes pain AND sounds like a bad art film. oh
no wait, those are the same thing.
-Kristiina Wilson
wow - they're, like, BURNING their art! how cool! how anti-establishment! how
esoteric! watch them as they cut the edge!
-Kristiina Wilson
There's a fine line between glamor and trash, and I don't care if I cross it as long as I'm
drenched in fake fur.
--Mehitobel Wilson
Your professor was a bozo. Unless he was somebody important, of course :-)
-Paul Wilson
Nothing is ever lost by courtesy. It is the cheapest of the pleasures; costs nothing and
conveys much. It pleases him who receives, and thus, like mercy, is twice blessed.
-Erastus Wiman
Anyone who is serious about making good 3D cards ensures that their names have an odd
mix of capital and lower case letters: 3Dfx, nVidia and even lowly ATi nowadays.
-wincent.org editorial
Another person who's smarter than I. What a relief to not have to be the smartest guy
anymore.
-Dave Winer
Art and money are closely related. Try sitting down with a group of artists and ask them
what's on their mind. Very quickly the topic shifts to money. And it can be very hard to
get them off that subject.
-Dave Winer
Christmas parties for the last few years have been all about, "Oh, we're about to do our
IPO" or "Oh, the greatest thing is, we're pre-IPO." That's wishful thinking. Maybe they've
never heard of Murphy's law.
-Dave Winer
I don't want to say these things. That's why I'm saying them. You may not want to hear
them. That's why you should hear them.
-Dave Winer
I was once quoted in Upside, saying that General Magic's MagicCap OS was like a
waitress who made her personality the issue instead of the food. The metaphor was
actually a bit more colorful.
-Dave Winer
I looked up 'standard' in the dictionary. There are eleven different definitions.
-Dave Winer
If you say Java one more time, I'm going to puke.
-Dave Winer
Note that no one asked Mike if his code was open source or if his underwear is clean.
-Dave Winer
OK, he's a Yankees fan. Now I know another reason not to like him.
-Dave Winer
One thing's for sure, in the war between freedom and fear, our side is going to have the
cool t-shirts.
-Dave Winer
Over the weekend I exchanged email with a Unix guy who chastised me for being
"insular" and proposed to tell me how to speak to Unix people with proper humility.
Well, I only pray to one God in relation to computers, and His name is Murphy
-Dave Winer
The infrastructure of the US is a long-term suspension of disbelief that such things won't
be exploded deliberately by people who don't create anything.
-Dave Winer
The NY Times editorial page is still name-calling and dividing, a sure formula for
continuing agony. A ton of unnecessary conjecture, when the reason for impeachment is
now obvious. Clinton was blowing off the Republicans, and they decided to blow him
away. Now that everyone has acknowledged each other's power to blow in one way or
another, the NY Times editorial page, which is a worldwide opinion leader, should get a
clue.
-Dave Winer
You guys love us. But when Microsoft comes along and offers weblogging tools, you
will use them, and will be happy, but will find an element of sadness underneath the
satisfaction. You will remember how good we were, but that won't matter. You'll
remember how we believed in the Web, as you do, and didn't try to change your content
or force your readers to use Passport, or try to kill your favorite platform vendor, or how
we supported choice in tools, instead of trying to lock you in to our way of doing things.
You'll use the tools that everyone else uses, because you accept that you are slaves to The
Machine. You'll wish it weren't so, but that's just the way it is.
-Dave Winer
...the true artist is always rich. I have no patience with those who toil away in squalor,
claiming to develop new art forms. The experimental novel is a waste of public funds,
and I'm sure Noah would agree with me.
-Jeanette Winterson, Boating for Beginners
We were so happy those wet carefree nights. I felt we were like Dr. Watson and Sherlock
Holmes. I knew my place. And then Catherine said she was leaving. She didn't want to do
it but she felt that a writer doesn't make a good companion. 'It's only a matter of time,' she
said, 'before I become an alcoholic and forget how to cook.' I suggested we wait and try
to ride it out. She shook her head sadly and patted me. 'Get a dog.'
-Jeanette Winterson, Written on the Body
Increasingly, people seem to misinterpret complexity as sophistication, which is baffling
-- the incomprehensible should cause suspicion rather than admiration. Possibly this trend
results from a mistaken belief that using a somewhat mysterious device confers an aura of
power on the user.
-Niklaus Wirth
Hi, I'm new to this group and was reading about cyberpunk. I was wondering if there is a
version out for the macintosh??? If so could someone please let me know, and tell me
what is required to run it.
-Michael A. Wisniewski Jr.
Never rise to speak till you have something to say; and when you have said it, cease.
-Witherspoon
All right, this is the plan. We'll get in there and get wrecked. Then we'll eat a pork pie.
Then we'll go home and drop a couple of Surmontil 50's each. That means we'll miss out
on Monday, but come up smiling on Tuesday morning.... Nothing ever happens on
Mondays. I hate bastard Mondays.
-Withnail, Withnail and I, Bruce Robinson
Mathematics is a logical method ... Mathematical propositions express no thoughts. In
life it is never a mathematical proposition which we need, but we use mathematical
propositions only in order to infer from propositions which do not belong to mathematics
to others which equally do not belong to mathematics.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
Philosophers are often like small children who scribble random marks on paper and then
ask an adult, "What is this?"
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
The riddle does not exist. If a question can be put at all, then it can also be answered.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
There can never be surprises in logic.
-Ludwig Wittgenstein
A certain critic made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old
Wodehouse characters under different names'. He's probably by now been eaten by bears,
like the children who mocked the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he won't be able
to make a similar charge against "Summer Lightning." This time, I have outgeneralled
him by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Ha hah ha!
-P. G. Wodehouse
I'm the misfit of the group, and I think they need me like a beauty pageant needs a wet
turd.
-Jordan Wolbrum
To truly appreciate the dramatic arc of the story of Louis and Wired, you have to
understand that he was nobody. He had no experience, no credentials, no credibility, no
connections. He was 42 years old when he launched Wired, and he had never
accomplished anything that an accomplished person would take seriously. Not to mention
that his idea for a magazine, if you analyzed it in any businesslike way, was bad.
-Michael Wolff
Selections from THE GEORGE BUSH HAIKU COMPETITION: Bush goes to Japan;
Loses tennis, lunch and face; Winter of vomit
-wolit@mhuxd.att.com
Be very, very careful what you put into that head, because you will never, ever get it out.
-Thomas Cardinal Wolsey
I'm Network Spice.
-Cameo Wood
Wow! So tell me, how does a functional illiterate like yourself get a job at a Regional
Bell these days? Mmm, perhaps that's a foolish question. Did you ever think it would be
your inability to communicate that would make you this famous? Can I have your
autograph?
-Bill Woodcock
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.
-John Wooden
There is no limit to what a man can do or how far he can go if he doesn't mind who gets
the credit.
-Robert Woodruff
SCSI is NOT magic. There are fundamental technical reasons why it is necessary to
sacrifice a young goat to your SCSI chain now and then.
-John Woods
Use the root password for an important host, and listen carefully for someone shouting
"YES!!!"
-John Woods on how to check for packet sniffers
All good work is done in defiance of management.
-Bob Woodward
For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
-Virginia Woolf
Lock up your libraries if you like, but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set
upon the freedom of my mind.
-Virginia Woolf
People would rather live with a problem they cannot solve rather than accept a solution
they cannot understand.
-Woolsey-Swanson Rule
Woo hoo! Laid off! 2007 will go down in history as the "Year of Getting Laid... Off."
-Tom Working
I guess we're getting a valuable education learning what it's like being a drudge in a
major corporation. When you get into a tedious job, so that year after year you begin
praying for death as an escape from the monotony of it all, you'll remember it was this
class that helped prepare you for it.
-Paul Workman
I was asked back in the early days of the lawsuit [against Microsoft] to write an Op-Ed
piece for the New York Times, but they didnt print it. I got a letter back from the editor
months later saying that maybe they'd run it, but it needed a little fixing. So, [I said] re-
write it. I wrote Microsoft's a monopolist and the Times wanted to edit it to say,
Microsoft is innovative. The funny thing is that I had started out in my own head without
having a bias. I thought Microsoft did a lot of things that were good and right building
parts of the browser into the operating system. Then I thought it out and came up with
reasons why it was a monopoly. I specified the strong penalties they should undergo.
Eventually I found out that the New York Times had tight friendship ties with Microsoft
and that one of Microsoft's key people had an editorial column in the Times. They were
trying to use me. But I know newspapers. They have the first amendment and they can
tell any lie knowing its a lie and theyre protected if the persons famous or its a company
or their tongues up its anus or all three.
-Steve Wozniak
So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of
your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want
to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to
Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college
yet.'
-Steve Wozniak
No house should ever be on any hill or on anything. It should be of the hill, belonging to
it.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
The two most important tools an architect has are the eraser in the drawing room and the
sledge hammer on the construction site.
-Frank Lloyd Wright
No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris ... [because] no known motor
can run at the requisite speed for four days without stopping...
-Orville Wright
Sex with Rachel was great. It was amazing. It was like a concert, it really was. She
screamed a lot. And threw frisbees around the room. And when she wanted more, she'd
light a match.
-Steven Wright
The other day I put instant coffee in my microwave oven ... I almost went back in time.
-Steven Wright
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot.
-Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
-Steven Wright
I was wondering how you got him out of the house. He looked like living death. Then
again we all looked like living death. Some of us on purpose.
-wsmith@sunspot.tiac.net
The only person who got all his work done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
-Andreas Wuertz
Originally employed in 1982 as a form of psychoacoustic mood therapy for latent
homosexuals, synthpop has since mutated into a form of psychoacoustic mood therapy
for latent homosexuals.
-www.rmifaq.com
When you killed your daughter, your pulse never rose above normal. We're alike in that
way, but my crimes will be grander, I assure you. One day I will put out the sun, and
make bare every womb that ever was.
-Coty Wyckoff, Wild Palms