hello, my name is...who cares?

Remember how we used to introduce ourselves like this

when we were little :P
LOL, nostalgia...
Anyway the reason why I am writing this **** is coz
this site has some crazy rules about give and take; like
any of the docs
I'm uploading can contribute to anyone on an
intellectual level, which is what I believe this website is
aiming for, *crazy face*.

Dont bother with the following text; just my silly

diary entries, just to add more load to my uploady
document.

11:26 PM 4/25/2014
It's 25th April. Today is the day I finally decided on
what I want to pursue as a career, for the rest of my
life. It's a normal Friday, like any other, but to me, it's
Good Friday; as though Jesus himself came forward to
bless me. I feel elated, enthralled and excited. Three Es
eh? I'm mentally laughing as I type this in the dead of
the night. I feel feverish, tired but too happy to sleep. For

the last one and a half year, my father has been

enlightening me on the benefits of going abroad to
pursue higher education. I whole-heartedly agreed with
him but had never made any effort to work on it. The
truth was, I was afraid. Afraid that I won't find a topic
of interest and be stuck with something that the elders
suggested.
This evening, dad came up to me and told me to do
some digging on Universities of USA. I was resigned
as usual and humored him for a bit. There, while
browsing the faculty member of Colombia University, I
happened to see a professor whose area of specialization
was in Entertainment and Video making. The
sentence caught fire and burned my nerves with
intensity. I know, too dramatic. Sorry, hard to shake
off a fiction-writer's habits xP. I cross checked with my
dad about the general procedure of admissions for
MS/Ph.D. I heard what I just needed to know; Computer
Graphics and Visuals. Although I would've never
dreamt of such a thing happening this very afternoon;
when I was just an ambition-less teenager, but it's
happening now; the important time when an adolescent
decides on what she wants to do for the rest of her life. I
hope my dad understands my interests. As the general

saying goes, Entertainment Industry is a shaky

business. It's transient and competitive, but like my
mother put it this very evening, there is no competition
when it comes to creativity; it's all in the head. My
hands are shaking right now as I type this. What if
something like this does happen? What if I really do
make it? There is no chance of failure here as I have a
definite degree of MS in CGV which is currently one of
the hottest topics in the field of computer Science
today. The prospect of having a sense of security while
still pursuing your dream is so relieving and
reassuring that I feel giddy.
Rest tomorrow xD.

2:14 PM 5/21/2014
Ya sorry, I did say 'tomorrow' on my previous diary
but sadly it didn't happen. Not just the diary entry
but the whole ground-shaking discovery that I had
believed to have made on the night of 25th April. I'm
back to square one; hopeless and ambition-less...now
more like soul-less actually. I sit here trying to crack
GRE. It's not difficult but it's absurdly
boring....mind-bogglingly boring. Why....can't I just
stay home and relax for the rest of my life like the

Kalahari Desert inhabitants? There was this priceless

observation from the writers of Gods must be Crazy; it
said, "In order to make a child's future comfortable and
successful, the child is made to undergo grueling
hours of study on complex mathematical calculations
and the ways of the world." So true, am I living my
life or messing it up? My mom tells me to have a
positive approach and that my situation could be a lot
worse. I agree off course, but when you hear stuff like
that, it's hard not to agree; humans are heading for the
worse possible future. Er, yeah. Who am I to question
14 billion years of evolution? I study, get into MIT,
then what? I work in a company and they expect the
MITian to come up with some exclusive discovery that'll
help the man kind. If, that someone happened to be me,
I'd suggest mankind to move onto the Kalahari
dessert. Gah, what am I writing? I mean chincha! No
SOP as I'm so not interested in CGV. It's all trash. Life
Sucks. Well except KDramas...hehehe. That's my
solace. Fuck. I wonder what satisfaction people get by
using the term 'Fuck', true it a vulgar form of
describing sex. But...what's sex got to do with life's
problems? LOL. World is truly messed up.

***

10:50 AM 6/29/2014 - Day

before CGV finale.
Sitting in front of my book, trying to figure out how
I'll finish at least one unit before tomorrow. What is it
with me and studies? I should see a shrink soon, my
level of concentration is that of a goldfish. They are
said to have a memory range of 3 seconds. I feel like
one now. I mean...I'm worse than Ghajini...House is
swarming with guests; they expect me to smile every
time I pass them. Why? Can't I just not smile? I'm not
our ex-chief minister!!!!!!!!!! LET ME BE!!!!!!!!
My hands are tired. Ciao

11:06 PM 6/29/2014
Every time, EVERY_FREAKING_TIME, I do just one
unit on the eve of an exam. Suppose the exam was at 9
instead of 2, I'd probably have a nervous break-down.
Even now, instead of studying, I'm writing a stupid
diary entry while trying hard not to cuss. LIFE SUX;
thought I was in a better shape for this exam, I can
already see myself falling asleep at 12 and doing

four-effin-units tomo in the morning. I wanna go to

Kalahari desert!!! Ok, provided there's a flat screen, an
AC and a hard disk that magically gets updated with
KDramas xP now I have officially lost my mind.
Before my parents kick me into a mental-hospital I'll
take my leave. Ciao lap-top-diary :P

8:14 PM 7/28/2014
Hello. *Sweet Smile* It's...the day before my results
will be announced. Surprisingly, I'm not scared. I
guess suffering through three years of Engineering
has made me wiser and less anxious about it. I hope
'The Secret' works. All this positive energy, how can the
cosmos possibly ignore? ^_^ I just hope I was as
positive as this for my future US admissions,
Harvard? Stanford? Ha! Piece of cake. Well, wiiiiish
that were it, the thing is, when you don't work hard
and still hope for the best, there's always that nagging
feeling in you that you may fail, your conscience
cannot ignore it. What my point is, I don't mean to
preach, its life! Ok, my diary entries are starting to
get stupid; I better end this, Ill talk once my results
are out! ^_^ Annyo!

***
8:34 PM 8/18/2014
Er, sorry. Long time I know. I had promised myself
that I'd write my entry as soon as the results would be
out but...I didn't. My apologies. I passed btw. At this
point, I wasn't really afraid. Afraid that Ill fail that
is. The scores have always come out the way I've
predicted them to be. 'The Secret' worked after all ^_^
Right now I'm trying to crack my head over the lab
progs that I have to mug up for tomorrow. It's raining
heavily outside, it's a pity that the sky has darkened
so soon, thought I could enjoy a cuppa while it was still
light. :/
Hope in future, our hoobaes have a better life while
doing Engineering. Doing engineering? Babe,
Engineering does you.
Sad linethat above one.
Was I trying to make a joke?
Shrink, Im coming!

***

9:09 PM 9/9/2014
Have two exams tomorrow, today's sucked, a bitch from
college sent a hate-mail which, surprisingly, doesn't
perturb me (although-according-to-human-laws, itshould) and my hard-disk has stopped working. Can
life be anymore depppppppressing? No matter how
much I want to dock off those 'p's from the word
depression, the amount of work for tomo just makes me
want to add more. Okay, my entries are getting so
"intellectual" that they are borderline genius. Like I had
previously stated, I do need to see a shrink...from the
past two-three days I've been having a funny rash
throughout my body. It's not unbearable but there's
that nagging itchy sensation that no matter how
much I scrub myself while in the shower, it wont go
away :-/
So along with a shrink, I need to make a trip to the
medical doc too...skin or allergic specialist at that -.Hmmm...Currently listening to the song "I'm Sorry",
while occasionally of course, thinking about Kim
Hyun Joong as Gummy croons "Miiiiyyyaaanayoo!"
(Which,btw, means 'sorry' in Korean :P) Noticed my
last diary was kinda dramatic so, Ill be honest here.

Frankly I don't know what I'm sorry about...the fact

that he turned out to be such a loser...or the fact that I
still find him smoking sexy, even more so than before.
I guess every girl has this weakness; a soft spot for bad
guys...you know, flirting with danger ;) Before the
scandal, I had this image of him being a perfect flower
boy, both by nature and by "virtue" :P Ha! Flower-full
at 28! :P Just proves I'm an idiot and that, any amount
of knowledge on theoretical facts are nothing compared
to the practicals waiting out there...long way to get
there I'm sure :/
Trusted Mr. KHJ aka Gorgeous-smoky-beephole to be
an angel and BAM! I fell hard on my ass after
hearing the news. LOL looking at it through a fun
point of view, it's really not so bad. I'm not sad enough
to spill tears but I'm not happy either. He's just some
guy I'll never meet or let alone exist in the same
universe, what then, triggers such feelings of
unhappiness? Human nature...have to give it to
psychology...which reminds me I have to all the more,
hurry up and see the shrink. Ah and, *itch* *itch*
yeah, was saying...that's it for now.
JAVAAAAAAAAAAAA

12/8/2014 11:36 PM
HmmmMust say dairy aka laptop entries are
funalthough the digitalized versions may never
match the authentic penned diaries, using a Nataraj
pencil or a coveted pen to pour your heart out on a white,
earthy textured paper of a diary book.
Xo
***