Pamulinawen

Pamulinawen-

Translation bY L. Yabes

looked atme,l didn'td

almysneedledher,tel
moon. ltlhichshercsei
OnedaY,

tlomet

usthatttre bigwarmtgl

Pamulinawen, mY love, Please heu

Ple who am sighing, tonging for You;

Pamulinawen, Pusok indengam man

Toy umasasu$ agrayo ita sadiam,
Panunotem man, dika pagintutulngan
Toy agayat, agraYo ita sadiam
Essem

ti diak

kaliPatan

No malagiPla, Pusok

ti

Kindly thou think, kndly do not tum deaf

To me who an longtng for You.

banio dePated as so<

In the fint cart
Sepa, withtheir childn

forget I never can

second borc the new

Rufo, who were mani

Yow most sweet and beloved name;

No matter where (l an), if I remember you,

Ta nasudi unay a nagan

Uny sadin ti aYan, disso sadino man,

lly heat leaPs

mabang'aran

why,'the two men sait

trills,close to the geal
nigh!, we Packed uP
family+nd moved al

with ioY,

town church, with tl

Japanese soldiers w
shoulders for gefiing

IakayCelin, Bafietldt

V
Rice For the lloon

-x

i'

r,

nl,::

!rri

would have g

Mothersaidthatif we

dietogether.lthenmt
right behind Father.

offering to the moon brought good luck, which

Father scoffed at, but I myself tended to believe

Manuel S. Diaz

i,,;:

fourth and last cart'

'Dott'ttickle me,
had gone

ali[le way,l

because after the rice was thrown, the moon would

usually shine with more luster, bringrng us children
out into the bright night to laugh and play'

that held the tether ol

hand but when the g

But the war came and in its wake carne hunger

and fear, hahed and death' Mother stopped throwing
rice to the moon, since we seldom had rice, only
those sometimes when Father could go to the rich

'Don't move too

4ain. fle grabbed m

man, Don 0aspar, who lived near the mountains' fle

odor that exuded frc

IN NA0SMO, when the moon peered over the high

Caraballo Mountain while we were eating, Mother

would bring home a ganta each time, which was

fromthesmellof dde

enough fortwo orthree meals. Mothermade do.with

home from the fields

would get up from the table, spade her fingers into

the smoking rice, scoop out a handful then run to the

cassava and sweet

ptatoes which Eew bountifully

body su,eat so Pung

was a combination c
dan$a leaves that gt

open window and hurl the cereal toward the moon,

siying under her breath: 'llle'll eat ahead ofyou''
ihis was aritualwhich Motheralways performed
every night after the full moon, in the belief that an

on our farm and which we would eat with wilted

vegetable leaves and salted fish. The dry and bitter
taste of the cassava urould kick at my stomaclt
although I did my best to pretend that it was rice'
But, of course, I never succeeded. The way Mother

hands foundtheirw

8re waistband of hit

strapped.l leaned c

'l said, don't ti

'Can't you hear me?
'Don't quanel,

from the cart. 'WhY

Iaster, oldman, so th

rAfter a mythical bind, This badengor love song is uniquely Ilokano. Prehispanlc, it remains popular until today'

Frltrtnos

Wnrrrnc

of quanelinl

Mother has

at me, Ididn't dare complain. Besides, Father

i.

a big voice which has always

Tour Mother is a brave woman,"

often intimated to me, And I beleived him

needled her, telling herto throw camote atthe

chastened me.

Whlch she resented. I felt sorry for her irtdeed.

Father

CIneday, twomencametoNagsaagandwamed

what with her thunderous voice. But one time when

S&S the blg war might not spare our banio. 'That's
the two men said, "you should evacuate to the

some Japanese soldier came in pursuit of a guenilla

ffi,-

suspect, Mother acted very oddly, When they came

rcar

*ffi,elo*e to the great Caraballo," So, one moonlit

'&*ttt, we packed up in four carts-in each cart a

you;

fuily*anO

ttum deaf

Mo

ame;

departed as soon as the two men had left.

to our courtyard, I ran to her, frightened, but she

pushed me aside as if she did not know me at all,
Then she went under the house and from the
chicken coop, fished out a cackling hen, Quickly,

ln the first cart were old man Anno and Balret

she ran back to the soldiers and handed over the

*Apa, wlth their children Sebio, Rosing and Rico. The

; *GmnO bore the newly manied couple,. Salud and
kfs, who were manied only a week before in the

chicken, her head almost touching the ground as

Sm

rcmber you,

moved away. The other families in the

church, with the ceremonies witnessed by

&pnese soldiers who kept patting the

groom's

*uulders for getting a fat wife. The third cart had

l@Cdn,

m, the moon would

rrin$ng us children
h and play.
wake came hunger

tr stopped throwing

chicken and then went away,

afternoon sun, Mother stood there almost fainting

with fear, chicken feathers all over her hair,
"Beathim some more, oldmanl" Mothershouted
agaln as she began to nip the tip of the cigar long

in

Tata Celin's cart,. but

dan$ing in her mouth.

llpther said that if we should die on the way, we would

Father did not say a word, but I heard him grunt,

then mounted our carabao, Sik'kubeng,

which was his familiar way of showing displeasure.

dle together,

tended to believe

as they snatched the

their hearty laughter reverberating in the hot

Baket ldot and Neneng, We were in the

kurth and last cart.

I would have gone

good luck, which

she bowed to them. The soldiers grinned avariciously

tle struck Sikkubengs sides with heels and the

fuht behind Father.

'Don't tickle me, loka!' father shouted after we

beast's rumps moved faster in a rhythm matched by

little way, poking me inside with the hand

the crunching of the iron wheels aginst the dirt

road. I could hear and feel the rumbling of the
beast's cavernous belly as it plodded steadily,
waggling his flexed horns to drive away the night

had gone a

that held the tether of the carabao, I pulled away my

hsnd but when the going got very rough agaln, my

hands found their way back to Fatheis waist.

'Don't move too much, I saidl" Father shouted

flies as he trotted.

lom had rice, only

ryaln. IIe grabbed my hands and stationed them in

the waistband of his trousers where his bolo was

Then I noticed Manang Ason. Among us four,

she seemed the only one indifferent to the joumey,

:ould go to the rich

$trapped. I leaned close to him, smelling the acid

She

rthe mountains. IIe

:h time, which was
Iothermade dowith

sdor that exuded from his armpits. It was different

just stared at the roadside, sometimes reaching

out to pluck a leaf or break a young branch from a

from the smell of dried mud which he usually brought

madre de cacao tree, The moon was now low in the

home from the fields during planting season, nor

of

west and our shadows lay obliquely below us. The

ich grew bountifully

body sweat so pungent during summertime. 6ut

it

light was on her hair, which now and then blew in

uld eat with wilted

tt'as a

combination of these odors plus the scent of

the stray wind that surged through the hees, each

. The dry and

bitter

ck at my stomach
,nd that it was rice,
ad, The way Mother

rtil today,

dangla leaves that

gew bountifully at the roadside.

"l said, dont tickle me!"

time bringing down a shower of dry leaves, She must

Father yelled again.

be sitting on the bamboo baskets for she towered

over Mother's head. She wore a red scarf, now

'Don't quanel, you twol" Mother admonished

turned gold, on her neck and its wider end covered

'Can't you hear me?"

from the cart. "Why don't you make the beast go

her.face when a shong wind blew, Manang Ason

faster, oldman, sothatwe can catch upwith CaCelin,

looked so beautiful in the soft light of the moon,

lnstead of quaneling with a little boy?'

NoRrnEnn

LrrnnAruRE

As11
'Why do we have to go, Father?" MananS
old
"l
that
hate
things'
had asked while packing her
manl I hate Don 0asPar!'
"But he $ves us rice often, Manang" I said while

by a
"Nardingggl'llanang Ason cried' followed
the
Under
whimper, ,Mi-ihen they were embracing'
wait'
to
where llanang Ason had told me
kept
which
fireflies
of
it i.c to drive away a couple

face for a long [m,

Sr#tr*

Casting my eyes
seemed that my sh

fluttering before mY eYes,

for the
Th; next moming, Manong Nardo left

long legs. Just then

nodded in
helped lat-"her tie the boxes' Father
wrinkled
his
agreement, a strange smile softening

face,

J*t .n'y.rnold

him?" She said

manr wny don't ihe Japanese kill
who was
Mother
to
between her sobs. She ran

in
pt.lOrg up our kitchenware and buried her head
'f',.t

shoulder'
Uoiom. Mother just stroked my sisteis
isthis?
What
well'
to
began
eyes, too, tears

palay bed, leaving

tle simply
'HOW MUCII FAKTflEK?' I asked Iather'
again'
orunted. After a while, I asked him
midnight'" he
before
'l{aybe we will be there
just
below the
trees
said. tle pointed to the bamboo
in the east' The night
cascadei of the high mountains
dust'
ttiff young. the thrce carts ahead stined
last
The
road'
positions on the

o-'

,rt

but in her
I was
I said to myself, feeling a faint apprehension'
just then he told me to go
about to ask Father but
down and give water to Sikkubeng'
Whilel was feeding our carabao' I remembered
my sister and
Father and the rich man talking about
I could not say'
maniage. Who was to marry whom'
well' All I
for t coutO nor hear their conversation too
marry
possibly
knew was that the rich man could not
maybe even
my sister for he was as old as Father'
there uas
Besides'
hair'
older, because of his white
ripe
haved,
to
who always seemed

llanongNardo

visitmysister'
sinigueiasforme whenever he came to

I heard a
TIME-a moonlight night like this
of our
shrill whistle from the banana groves east
our
washing
then
was
who
house. Manang Ason

ONE

ran out of the

dishes, called me to her as she hastily
taking care not
house, I stayed a few feet behind her
quietly sitting under the
to rouse Fatirer who was then
whistle but
mansanitafiee. tte might have heard the
then did not give it imPortance'
tell Iather about this' ha' Odet?" my

'Don't ever

instead
sister said. She did not wait for my answer;
was half'
she ran straight to Manong Nardo who
hidden in the shadow of banana leaves'

his
'Coringgg!' Manong Nardo said gently in

sweetly' and I
huslty voice. theard her name said so
gotten it' Coring
wondered where Manong Nardo had
Nardo said it'
was more beautiful the way Manong
F.t

l trtnos

more, So I broke av

chickens although

war.

big eyes' and

My sister looked at me with her
silly thing for
a
then ai nather, Then she began to cry'
girl to do, I thought' 'l hate that old

had said. And I saw

rno*ing il',.it .xact

one,

thit

meters
of Tata Celin, was a good hundred

rtraw,
The rattling of
eart climbed down

told me to transfel
happy. I immediatell

snuggling

aginst

the unlighted cigar i

forget everything ab
the distance. Mananl

ahead of us'

we had a full view

We were now in the fields and

and her wholesome

by the trees and

of the moon, no longer obstructed
the sky was like
tall grass, There were no clouds and
and I began to
cooler
grew
a ctiar minor. The air
nf*, the sound of big guns could be heard'

of the papaya flowe

lulled me, and after

like distant thunder rolling'

'Are the Americans coming, Iather?"
'That's why we
Father touched my hands gently'
coming any time
are going to the hills, They will be
safe from the
be
will
no*, fn.t in the hills, we

my lap a plate of ricr

rleep.
I dreamed

,niu.r.

violence of war,"
'l'm not afraid to fight,' I said'
in his throat'
Father produced an uneasy chuckle

then said:

iYou

no
are too young, son' There are

soldiers nine Years old''

in his throat'
Iather pioduced an uneasy chuckle
are no
There
too young son'

then saidr 'You are

soldiers nine Years old,"

--

inrt

rpaded into it. The

when Itried to use it
my hand instead,

looked up to the moor

fece of the rich old r
xtnrlng hard at me wi
'Eat, Odet, eat," he si

llr

laughed until his I

thelrsockets. I gorged

kfore

me,

'Wake your brotl

lil$thefs voice as if

I'm old enough," protested to myself'

driving
always told me so when we were

Neneng had

sown galay
the chickens away from Fathe/s newly

You're not young

bed, "Stop acting like a child, Odet'
sayto me when she

tl* T:

anymorei'Nenengwould
of a big
playing with a toy horse made of the midrib
made'
we
house
fununi r.uf. Onie, inside the straw
cooking saluyot
she pretended she was a housewife

I looked at her
shoots which we later eat with rice'

Wntrtnc

that t

s1

*ruck my thighs rather

thlnhlng it was still a p
Aoon pinched my nose

wake me up ever

ffhkubeng to the river

Qer and the

darknes

knmed over us,

lt,e were now cl
Selosed by the greer

)n cded, followed bY a
embracing. Under the

ln had told me to wait,

;

ong Nardo left for the

ins in the east. The night

arts ahead stined dust,

rs on the road, The last
a good hundred meters

fullview

lructed by the trees and

uds and the skY was like
cooler and I began to
ig guns could be heard,

som, And I saw that she was actually fond of me.

down to my feet,

it

Then dark, Father slid down the carabao and began

unhitching the cart.

suddenly

The rich old man approached us and raised his

Xmmcd that my short pants were too small for my

k'ng legs, Just then, I could not look at her face any

right foot to the wheel hub and patted my head gently,

I

$o I broke away, pretending to drive away the

tried to avoid his bulging eyes, then he started $ving

fuo men

orders, his voice drowningthe other voices.

Gilehens although they were not quite upon the

came to help us haul away our things, I looked at

play bed, leaving Neneng in the house made of

*nw.

Manang Ason, but she ivas looking outward, back in

the direction of Nagsaag and even farther, than the

The ratUing of the wheels grew louder as the

treesjust below the

and we had a

ha

fr$a,

sked Pather, tle simPlY

:d him again.
e before midnight," he

1s

for a long time, trying to understand what she

r**tlng my eyes

of fireflies which kePt

>oo

moon,

I broke away from her and got down the cart

f$rt elimbed down to the bed of a dry river, Father

tald rne to transfer in the cart, which made me

which Father had already unhitched from Sikkubeng.

*eppy. I immediately sought Manang Ason's warmth,

ffuggling aginst her soft flanls. Mother still had

pace from the anay oflfaces in the dark. She and her

the unlighted cigar in her mouth and she chose to

parents must havejoined Tata lddo, her uncle, in the

faryet everything about it as she looked sharply in

adjoining banio. Father was now hauling a couple of

I looked around for Neneng

but I could not pick her

the dlstance. Manang Ason held me close to her side

bamboo baskets full of clothes to the big house,

md her wholesome odor-somewhat like the scent

ef the papaya flowers after a heavy downpour
lulled me, and after a while I lapsed into a light

standing some steps away from where we were,

*lcep.

other clutching a bundle containing our kitchenware.

I dreamed that the moon had beamed down

hedged by dense bamboo thickets. Mother canied a

waterjug on her head, one hand holding it and the

Manang Ason did not stir from her seat atop the

to

bamboo basket.

ming, Fathet?"

my lap a plate of rice with a $eaming silver spoon

apaded into it, The spoon, though, hurt my lips

ds gently. "That's whY we

yhen I tried to use it. So I threw it away, and using

secured Sikkubeng s tether to a bamboo strump. She

time

'Don't you feel cold, Manang?" I asked while

I ate and atg and ate. When I

seemed not to hear me nor notice me at all, The dewy

ve will be safe from the

looked up to the moon to ask for more rice, I saw the

breeze stewed her hair and the scent of papaya

face of the rich old man instead, his bulging eyes

flowers again reached and overwhelmed me, In the

," I said,

atarlng hard at me while proffering a plate of rice.

far distance we heard gunfire again, This brought her

aasychucklein his throat,

)ung, son, There are no

"tat, Odet, eat," he said. 'Eat as much as you can."

He laughed until his bulging eyes disappeared into

head up, and she tensed as though listening for

thelr sockets. I gorged on the rice that lay shimmering

lsuddenly felt hungry. The old man came up to

will be coming

easy chuckle in

anY

histhroat,

my hand instead,

another sound,

cung, son. There are no

before me.
'Wake your brother up

llothefs voice as if spoken from afar, even as she

she did reluctantly. I walke( ahead of them, my

stomach rumbling, The old man was not talking;

," I protested to

mYself.

atruck my thighs rather hard, I did not open my eyes,

neitherwas mysister. The onlysound behind me was

: so when we were driving

thlnking it was still a pad of my dream. But Manang

athers newly sown

ison pinched my nose gently, which she usually did

to wake me up every moming so I could lead

the careful shuffling of feet on leaves strewn on the

path.

PalaY

td, Odet. Youre notYoung

us and bade my sister to alight from the cart, which

now, Ason,' I heard

The house was big, much biggerthan the biggest

ayto me when she saw me

$lhkubeng to the dver for a cool bath, I opened my

ade of the midrib of a big

eyes and the darkness

the straw house we made,

loomed over us.

stopping at the table laden with food. Gleaming rice

rcusewife cooking saluYot

with rice, I looked at her

We were now close to the sprawling hills,

enclosed by the greenery, I heard low murmurs,

in a

of the tall bamboo

house in Nagsaag. I went through the big room that

trees

Nonrnenn,Luzo,

was brightly lit by a big gas lamp and into the kitchen,

large shining plates seemed to

fill the

table.

Mother was wiping porcelain plates while Father was

LtTEnATURE

the table' his

already seated at the other end of
rO*S apple moving relentlesly 'p.mg d?111
nit ii.t were inien$ focused on the.food'fle

*r,ir.

which I did'
rnotion.O me to sit down on his side
I'lother'
unmindful of the warning eyes of
sister had come
As soon as the old man and my
prayer' But Manang
up, we began to eat alter a brief

and me'
,tson.iustitared at Father, then at Mother
tr.i.y.t misty in the lrght of the gas lamp' She did
She simply sat
not loott at ttre old man on her side'
out for
if
tn.ra ,.*ot , and I felt that even I reach
her, I wouldn't be able to touch her'

with the hunger

turned my eyes away, and now
gulping
intitt nt in my stomactr, I began to eat'
not minding it scalding my
I

Oo*, tf,. hot rice,

anq h:y
ilrgu.. By the time I stopped eating' full

dark,

seemed

to see

irr.V

it.o

ktiow
been sayrng good'bye' Only' I didn't

that it was good'bYe for alwaYs'

lat

Nga

iti agdandanum a mak ni

gayyem

Di met kas kari a mariPiriP.

Ngem ammok nga aghulaidag ti baybay

Iti mabaYYatingan a lames,

Agpangel'el

ti

waYs amongYou still?

was closrng

Can't haPPen here

in on us then

daga iti igges

Frltrtnos

in

America'

ar late the thoughtiumPs me,

uncannily
Light and dwk resemble each other
friend
a
of
nit wnicn in the watery eyes

be discemed'
flails about
seatltisre
Butl know that the

Cannot

as

llapuy kasta, asim

Ammonakam a pa

llo diluma$p iti I

Of the shiftless dog

street
Nght at noon in the middle of the

Ewly

Nasapa, naladaw agbalu ti la$P,

Agkaliaam$f lawag ken lidi:m

sangalubongan

Apo, ul-ulitenmi a

Even the old bitch obltEd

Calling uPon the heat

Tengngat' aldaw lntengngaan ti lulsada

Saan a maaramid lustoy iti America'

ka1

llan ti masikog. D

tu wentaiotof thinE PutuY

lanttem, beamingface, and $ft'

Ken kumalaiseg nga aso,

iti awanan

A paltog ken ania

As the awaited day

A parol, PaludiP ken sagut'

Maisungsong met idin a Paalo
Ti kabakian iti naragut

Kas

Itenno Mindanao,

ke thefan@

Agbulur idi dagiti maibitbitin

Ilagbuteng makiat

Tunggal nakiro a I

Ity kin and beloved all,

No ti segseggaan umadanin

lhluba$anna ida

T1

A Recall

haruaman dita?

kas

ldlay Vietnam idi,

A.G. tlufana

Adda paY

tiinirubad

llaysaabaketag
lkda$ti impapant

Christmas in the ilocos:

Kababa$an ken ingungotek ida,

Ay,

ir

Manang Ason and

V -4
Paslnrati lhilokuan:
llaysa a tagip

umno a linteg

the

trel' tallting
M*ong Nardo under the siniguelas
that
each other, Ilow, of course' I knew

S.rilyit

II

Itga ili a sinindian

Itlnlsapna pay dag

irti[., tt i *oon had already gone down behind

at the
*ourtuint, As I looked out the window

ild;

Uneg wenno ruar

easY

as

sadd

With each Poisoned catch,

The eath aches deep with the worming

Wntrtno