WHY DO GUYS LIKE MILFS?

Anyone whos casually browsed porn sites has probably seen MILF videos at some point,
listed among the countless niches available. But MILF (an acronym for Mom Id Like to Fuck)
is actually one of the hottest genres in porn sought by straight guys. On mega-tube site
Pornhub, its the third-most popular categorytrailing only HD Porn and teen. And
shockingly, the most popular search term on PornHub isnt even an explicit one, like blowjob
or threesome; its the familial mom. Hot moms arent just limited to porn aggregators,
though. Adult superstore Adam & Eve offers more than 500 MILF-themed videos, including
clever titles like Mommy Dear Ass, while Amazon offers more than 1,900 erotic MILF stories
available for Kindle alone, such as Milking the MILF, the story of a single mother who literally
gets milked by the college football team.
All of this begs the question: How did MILFs come to dominate so many mens interest in
porn? Evolutionary psychology would argue that men evolved to prefer ladies at the peak of
their fertilitythat is, younger women. So how do psychologists explain the allure of the MILF,
given that sex with an older woman is less likely to result in a man passing along his genes?
What explains their massive presence in male-targeted pornography? I would argue that the
reason MILFs are sexually desirable has little and perhaps nothing to do with a mans feelings
for his own mother. In fact, it probably has relatively little to do with the fact that shes a
mother at all. The appeal of the MILF speaks more to mens desire for real women who are
confident, knowledgeable, and practiced when it comes to sex, as well as the promise of a
mutually satisfying sexual experience.
Indeed, Hollywood has stoked the fantasy of the sexually experienced older woman for
decades now. The success of the 1967 film The Graduatewhere a recent college grad (Dustin
Hoffman) receives a carnal education from a sultry, middle-aged mom (Anne Bancroft)
ushered in a wave a of 1970s and 80s porn flicks featuring older women as sex teachers. A
sudden staple of the adult film industry, the genre never really had a name until the gross-out
comedy American Pie popularized a term, 15 years ago this summer.
MILF Guy #2 (looking at a picture of Stiflers mom): Dude, that chicks a MILF!
MILF Guy #1: What the hell is that?"
MILF Guy #2: M-I-L-F. Mom Id Like to Fuck.
MILF Guy #1: Yeah, dude! Oh yeah!
MILF Guy #2: MILF! MILF! MILF!
Stiflers mom, played by a luscious Jennifer Coolidge, was not your average suburban
housewife, and her sexiness launched the acronym MILF into the mainstream. Since then,
demand for MILF porn has only continued to increase. Porn actresses whose film careers
sagged with agelike 55-year-old star from the 80s Nina Hartleyhave seen renewed interest
in their work. (In fact, just last year, Hartley received an Xbiz nomination for MILF Performer of
the Year.) So what explains mens fascination with MILFs? The first idea that comes to mind
might be the Oedipus Complex, Sigmund Freuds theory named for the Greek myth about a

guy who kills his father and marries his mother. Freud argued that all young boys go through a
short-lived stage where they desire their mothers sexually and hate their fathers. Most boys
eventually get over this, he claimed, but only when they realize that daddy will castrate them if
they keep competing for mommys affection. Could it be that attraction to MILFs stems from
some unresolved or repressed Oedipal desires among a large number of porn consumers? Its
unlikely. The Oedipus complex was first proposed nearly a century ago and, since then, very
little scientific support has been found for this idea.
An alternative explanation is that, perhaps, guys see MILFs as more sexually voracious than
younger women. That theory fits with a widely-held belief that women reach a sexual peak
in their 30s, making them a better sexual match for younger guys with all of those raging
hormones.Some research supports this. In Alfred Kinseys classic work on female sexuality, he
found that women in their 30s reported having more orgasms than women in any other age
group. More recently, a study published in Personality and Individual Differences found that
women aged 27 to 45 reported the most daily thoughts about sex, interest in casual sex, and
frequent sexual activity of any other age group. The authors of this study theorize that women
have evolved a tendency to become more interested in sex as their biological clock winds
down in order to make the most of their remaining fertility. However, these differences are
pretty small: Its not like women in their 30s and 40s are hypersexualthey just seem to be
slightly more sexual than their younger counterparts. We dont know whether theres
something biological behind this, or if it is just a byproduct of the fact that women become
more sexually confident and assertive as they age. In fact, sexual confidence probably has a lot
more to do with what makes MILFs so hot. The major way that MILF porn differs from most
traditional heterosexual porn (aside from the age of the female lead, of course) is in the
womans level of power and dominance. A recent study published in the Journal of Sex
Research painstakingly analyzed the content of 50 MILF videos and 50 teen videos pulled from
10 popular porn sites and found that the actresses in MILF porn were 2.5 times more likely to
be the initiators of sex and nine times more likely to control the pace and direction of the
sexual encounter. In addition, in pornos where the characters profession was part of the
plotline (e.g., supervisor/employee), not one of the women in the teen videos had a higher
status job than her male partner, whereas 83 per cent of the MILFs had more status than their
partners. In MILF porn, women were often depicted as employers, teachers, and judges, while
men were often depicted as employees, students, and bailiffs.
Part of the appeal of the MILF may reside, therefore, in the fact that a lot of guys are simply
turned on by a woman who is powerful. For some of these men, their growing attraction to
MILFs may be a reflection of the changing gender structure in the workplace, in which women
today hold more positions of power than ever before. In other cases, MILFs may be fulfilling a
deeper desire for submission, a fairly common male sexual fantasy. In fact, one study
published in the Journal of Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy found that 15 per cent of men
surveyed reported having fantasies about being the submissive partner in the last 3 months.
Of course, attraction to MILFs is not always about power and submission. Instead, some guys
may just be drawn to the fact that it is easier to sexually please a woman who knows what she
wants and isnt afraid to ask for it. Men inherently want to please a woman. They want her to
enjoy sex with us, psychologist David Ley, author of The Myth of Sex Addiction, explained

over email. And, when a man is with a woman who knows her body, her desires, and is
sexually confident and adventurous, it increases the chances (in fantasy and real life) that the
man can give that woman sexual pleasure.
Ley also believes that the appeal of MILFs has something to do with the fact that a MILF looks
more real, looks like she could live down the street. Given that they tend to be a bit older
than the typical female porn star, MILFs dont necessarily have the perfect skin and bodies
that younger actresses do. MILFs may seem like a woman you might actually run into in the
real worldsomeone who is perhaps more attainable. According to Ley, That's a powerful
fantasy and excitementfor men who want to fantasize about sex with a realistic person,
rather than a pneumatic doll.
It is somewhat surprising, then, that MILF is the term that stuck for describing this genre of
porn. Whether the women in these videos are actually moms seems irrelevant, as are the
viewers feelings about their own mothers. Indeed, MILF porn isnt really about moms per se
its about real women who are comfortable and confident with their bodies and sexuality and
arent afraid to show it.

Justin Lehmiller, PhD is a sex educator and researcher at Purdue University and author of The
Psychology of Human Sexuality blog. Follow him on Twitter @JustinLehmiller.