Vintage Nightcrawlers Eat The Warriors For Breakfast In Bed

The game was so early it felt like morning and the Nightcrawlers tasted some mor
ning glory
as they gave the 'Warriors' a touch up. The manager is struggling to play the sa
me side that
is set out in the pre-game formation. Michael Giannes was still struggling with
an ankle
injury and the mercurial Danny was also missing. Rumours are flying in relation
to the
veteran with many media outlets reporting that Danny and the manager have had y
et another
spat and he may be looking to leave the club for greener pastures with the Youn
g Guns
circling as possible candidates. As usual the manager was upset at being questio
ned over
the incident but had this to say "I would love to keep the team as it is but my
lips
haven't touched a croie in so long and there's only so much a man can take, fans
used
to fight to get through the gate but now we have to resort to asking Peter to fi
nd a second
girlfriend to double the numbers. The saying used to be come for Olly's goals s
tay for the
croies, now it's come for Olly's goals stay for his autograph but even this can'
t attract a big crowd."
The warm-up was not ideal although Olly Williams hit a nice volley from a David
'Birds All
Year' Neal corner during the pre-match, people were saying "surely you'll put th
at in the match
report" but of course he is far too modest for that. Ashley Norton had a new hai
rcut that was
noticed by many leaving Williams feeling sad but even worse it turned out that
the ref was none
other than Paul Rees, otherwise known as little boy ref from the future.
For once the Illuminati was on the Nightcrawlers side as the opposition only sta
rted with five
players which allowed the Crawlers to get off to the perfect start as none othe
r than Henry Rasheed
popped up, latching onto a Hamish Vickers' ball Rasheed smashed it straight past
the keeper and through
a hole in the net, which ironically was roughly the same size as the hole in th
e fence of the detention
centre that Rasheed had escaped through earlier that day. The opposition prepare
d for trouble and Peter
Giannes made it double as he slammed home a cross from Vickers, they had seven
players at this stage
but even then the Crawlers were cutting through them. Williams got onto a header
from a Giannes throw
in that was just saved by the young and agile goalkeeper.
Spirits were high as the whistle for half-time blew although Norton was worried
about keeping at the sun
end as he'd only applied two layers of sunscreen before the match. All of a sudd
en Vickers reached into
his bag and produced to packets of the famous substance that worked miracles ju
st two weeks prior. Chris Zehle

was sceptical about the substance but was proven wrong in the most incredible o
f ways when the unthinkable
happened and natural goalscorer Williams slotted home his second for the season
to continue his average of
a goal a game, with the assist coming from none other than Vickers who played a
lovely ball over the top.
Beau Thomas is fast becoming a fan favourite and he proved why as he broke the d
efensive lines of the Warriors
again and again. He had more shots than Dave on a Saturday, unfortunately his s
coring efficiency wasn't as
good as David 'Birds All Year' Neal's is on a Saturday and he is still yet find
that elusive first goal.
Josh Freeman demonstrated proper shooting technique, unfortunately for him the g
oals weren't on Mars so the
ball didn't quite sneak in. Chris Zehle came off and the opposition scored, the
manager was asked whether the team's
defence is carried by one man, to which the manager replied "well our forward li
ne is carried by one man, I won't
mention his name but let's just say he averages a goal a game." Peter Giannes th
en scored what can only be described
as a banger, Vickers smashed a cutting ball in and Giannes managed to get a dec
isive touch on it sending straight
past a hapless keeper.
The game ended at 4-1 to the Nightcrawlers much to the delight of the fan. Ryan
Krispy and Freeman headed off
for some romantic time at Freeman's favourite date spot, the indoor cricket cen
tre. The rest of the team gathered
around to hear that Mister Assister Vickers had won the three, Peter Giannes ha
d banged in the two after banging
in two and Henry Rasheed had lapped up the one for a top-notch performance.
Next week's game is another 6pm start on Pitch 1, see you there.
Bibliography:
Neal, David 'Getting With Birds All Year, the David Neal Story'
Norton, Ron and Johnson, Joe 'A Childhood Spent in the Shade'
Danny 'Danny's Big Croie Recipe Book'
Van Houten, Kirk 'Can I Borrow A Feeling?'