The Right Words

in the Right Place...

405 Chateau Drive

Suite 15
Bellevue, NE 68005
Phone: 402-830-0913
E-mail: travis@TheWriteLine.biz
Web: www.TheWriteLine.biz

Published by:
The Write Line
405 Chateau Drive, #15
Bellevue, NE 68005
Copyright 2007
Phone: (402) 830-0913
e-mail: travis@TheWriteLine.biz
2007 The Write Line. All rights reserved. Copyright protected. Duplication,
reprinting, or distributing this material without the express written consent of the
author is prohibited.

Introduction
Salesmanship starts when the customer says no.
George O. Boule, Jr.

Do Words Make a Difference?

If you believe the techies or the Internet gurus, technology is what sells.
Touching the customer at the right point with the right content or offer is the
key, they say; it doesnt matter how its said (although they think fancy graphics
are pretty important). Nonsense, of course. Copy is still king, and there is ample proof everywhere.
Example: Scientists at the University of Illinois found that when a restaurant
named dishes using geographic, sensory, or nostalgic labels (e.g., traditional
Cajun red beans with rice, satin chocolate pudding, grandmas zucchini
cookie), sales rose 27% compared to the same menu items with plain names
(red beans with rice, chocolate pudding, zucchini cookies).
Source: Readers Digest, July 2003, p. 182

So Go Make a Difference!
Getting and holding your customers attention is key to successful copy. But
how? If youre a small business owner or entrepreneur, it is possible that you
write all your own copy. You might be a marketing professional with an overworked staff, or an entrepreneur with a product and a passion but little experience with writing marketing materials.
In the following pages, you'll find twenty-five tried and true tipsboth dos
and dontsfor spicing up your copy that can help you connect with your customer.
Some of these tips might seem like no-brainers to some people, but to others
they might be a wake-up call to take a hard look at their copy. Before I get into
them, however, I want to talk a bit about what copywriting is, and what it isnt.
Copywriting is any form of written communication that is used to market, sell,
or promote a business, service, or product. It is not journalism, and it is not
business writing. Put simply, it is writing that sells. That is why, with every
piece of copywriting, you have to make the customer want it, whatever it is.
Your job is not to convey simple informationit is to convey the information
that inspires your prospect or customer to do something. Certainly, information is conveyed in good copywriting, but it has to be mixed with the emotional

Advertising is like learning a little is a dangerous thing. If a

man has not the pluck to keep on advertising, all the money he
has already spent is lost.
P. T. Barnum

hooks that keep your prospect reading, build trust, and allow you to lead
them to the promised land where they will be happier and more content
after they buy your product.
The main uses of copywriting can be described thusly:

Attracting customers
Building relationships
Creating a public image
Making sales

All of these uses are geared toward that last thing: making the final sale. They
constitute a process, not a single action, and should be viewed as part of a larger package, a big picture. Good copy is like a tantalizing dance, with a persuasive rhythm and an action-driving beat that brings the customer to your
door and up to the cash register with an armload of products that he simply
must have.
So lets get to it. Lets help your copy blast off!

Make it simple. Make it memorable. Make it inviting to look at.

Make it fun to read.
Leo Burnett

1. Put yourself in your customers shoes.

This is an easy exercise and can bring inspiration. Imagine your ideal customer, the
kind that you would love to keep coming back (and no, not just the ones carrying
sacks of money). Think about him or her in fine detail.
Who is he? What does he want ? What are his fears? What will he gain if he buys
your product? What will he lose if he doesnt? Is there something about your product that will make him feel good about himself? How will your product or service
make his life easier?
This all goes towards developing the benefits that will hook your customers attention, and keep it.

2. Benefits, not features.

Benefits sell; features do not. This might seem like the most basic thing that many
large, established companies would know, but Ive seen startling evidence that it
aint always so. Ive seen high-tech companies try to sell their products with a simple list of gee-whiz features, and the results are invariably less than stellar.
Here an example. Which is more compelling?
Features and Benefits of Ye Olde #2 Yellow Pencil
Features:

Benefits:

Sold by the dozen

Sold in convenient 12-packs so you always have one.

More cost-effective packaging saves you money!

Rubber eraser attached with a metal band

Correct errors cleanly and quickly. Convenient! The

attached eraser means you can always correct your
errors!

Wooden hexagonal cylinder with a #2 graphite core

Re-sharpen as often as you like! Graphite core

achieves balance of clear, dark writing with clean, crisp
lines. Cylinder shape ensures a solid, slip-free grip.

After the above exercise in putting yourself in your customers shoes, you will have
an easier time imagining how your product or service will benefit her.
Dont list all the whiz-bang features on your widget. (Yawn. Boring!) Tell her why
all the whiz-bang features on your widget will make her life easier. Tell her why all
those carefully crafted bells and whistles will unload some of the stress in her life, or
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People arent interested in you. Theyre interested in

themselves.
Dale Carnegie

how it will alleviate her fears, or stave off some horrible occurrence. Tell her why it
makes your service or product better than the competition.

3. Use analogies.
One way to make your products stick in the customers mind is to compare them to
well-known things, the more iconographic the better. Peoples minds tend to compartmentalize information with images or icons, and if you can attach the memory of
your product to one of these icons or images, your customer will be more likely to remember you or see you in the way that you want.
Try writing a few sentences like This product is like Heres an example: Our security system is like having ten super-cops on staff! Heres another: Our new zincplating process is an impenetrable shield against rust and corrosion!
If you can take something well-known like this and use it to explain your products
benefits, so much the better.

4. Make it easy to read.

It is a proven fact that dense blocks of text are like concrete blocks. They are difficult
to penetrate and not particularly easy on the eyes. Ones eyes just move past them,
unless its a contract, or fine print, or something they just have to read.
Your job as a copywriter to encourage a person to read more. The more he reads, the
more of your carefully crafted words he absorbs, the more likely he is to listen to
more of what you have to say, until he reaches the knockout sales pitch.
Write short sentences and short paragraphs.
Use lots of:
White space
Subheadings
Bullets
Special formattingbold, italics, underlines, CAPITAL LETTERS,

special

fonts!
These help to draw attention to key words and phrases. The human eye lingers on
things that are different, like a key word, an emphasis, not lines of static text.

5. Use active text, not passive.

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A good ad should be like a good sermon: It must not only

comfort the afflicted, it also must afflict the comfortable.
Bernice Fitz-Gibbon

This is the bane of all good writing in general, but since copywriting requires you to
focus your prospects attention so completely, passive sentences will deflate your
chances like a tired balloon animal.
Heres an active example: Our product will knock your socks off!
Versus a passive example: Your socks will be knocked off by our product!
Passive sentences are like the whiny kid who sits in the back of the class and suffers
the endless barrage of the slings and arrows of life. He doesnt act; he only sits there
and takes it. He could help himself, if only he had the gumption to do something. He
must act. He cannot allow himself to continue to have all this unpleasantness enacted upon him. He must do, not be done upon.
And so must your copy.

6. Use sidebars and boxed text.

Part of the selling process can be pulling
your prospect out of the conversation just
for a moment with a special point. Sometimes you might want to include elements or
highlights that dont quite fit anywhere in
your copy. A box of special text or a sidebar
is the perfect place to put those highlights.

The eye is drawn to boxes like this one. This kind of

text box is a great way to make a parenthetical point,
or to throw in a special offer. It must be short and to
the point. Its like saying, Hey, look over here, but
just for a second.

During WW II, aircraft designers found that new pilots often made errors in reading
legends and labels on control panels. By testing various typefaces, sizes, and layouts,
they realized that drawing a box around a piece of text made it easier to find and to
read. This principle is still widely applied in signage, instruction manuals, and other
documents.

7. Use sentence fragments.

If youre careful, you can use sentence fragments to emphasize an important point.
Heres a good example: Our new plasma screen gives you the ultimate technological
edge. Sharp picture. Crystal clear sound. Why wait? Call today!
But, remember you have to be careful. Using sentence fragments like this can shoot
you down just as quickly.
Heres a bad example: You know its time. To call us. And buy. Our new plasma
screen TV.
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Creativity is a highfalutin word for the work I have to do

between now and Tuesday.
Ray Kroc

8. Use bold bursts and bullets.

Sometimes you have to pretend that youre shouting over a crowded sales floor with
a megaphone. Copywriting is NOT the time for modesty! No matter how mildmannered, reasonable, and level-headed you are most of the time, when youre
copywriting, you sometimes have to imagine yourself as a carnival barker. Youre
standing at your podium with a stick and a top hat and a bad suit. Step right up!
Step right up! Be shameless with your words.
50% off while supplies last!
Sale ends Jan. 1st!
FREE shipping for a limited time!

9. Urgency! Do it now!
Look at the three bullets just above. They all have one thing in common. A sense of
urgency. If the prospect doesnt act right now, they could lose the opportunity to
gain the benefits of your fantastic product.
While supplies last! Sale ENDS... Limited time! These are key phrases for
adding urgency to your copy. The key to good copy is giving the prospect the impulse to act immediately. If they have the opportunity to walk away, and maybe
come back later, theyll just walk away.
When you encourage prospects to act now instead of later, response rates increase.
3 Ways to Increase Urgency
1. One way to do this is to put a deadline on your offer. Since third-class mail
takes an average of 2 weeks to be delivered nationwide, make the deadline at least 8 to 12 weeks from the mail drop date. Alternatively, for any
mailing that goes out September or later, a good deadline date is December 31.
Copywriter David Yale recommends emphasizing that the deadline date is final by
adding the phrase its too late as follows: This offer expires December 31, 2003.
After that, its too late. For e-mail marketing, you can say the offer is good only if
the recipient replies today or this week.
2. If you are not comfortable putting a deadline date on your mail piece, specify a time frame within which the reader must reply, e.g., reply within the
next 10 days.
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Consumers do not buy products. They buy product benefits.

David Ogilvy

3. Or at least make it clear that this is a time-limited offer. Copywriter Milt

Pierce suggests this wording: But I urge you to hurry. This offer is for a
limited time only. And once it expires, it may never be repeated again.

10. Proofreading is critical!

Some basic English grammatical ruleslike sentence fragmentscan be broken occasionally by a skilled writer, but correct spelling and punctuation are not among
them. You must spell every word correctly. You must use correct punctuation.
These kinds of mistakes erode customer confidence in you and your product faster
than anything.
Use your computer spell-checker, but dont trust it 100%, because it cant understand every usage of a word or phrase. For example, words that are spelled differently but sound the same. Principal versus principle. Capital versus Capitol.
Red versus read.
Basic proofreading is a skill that anyone who writes must develop quickly and take
seriously. Since almost everyone these days does their writing while looking at a
computer screen, they often never see their work in hard-copy form. I recommend
that during the proofreading stage, you print out a hard copy of your project and
read it with a pen or pencil in hand. This simple change in perspective will often
catch errors that your eyes missed when looking at the computer screen.
Sloppy proofreading can cost you money. Example: the French government had to
destroy 162,000 bound copies of the E.U. constitution because someone has inserted a footnote describing the document as an incoherent text.
But the more you have written and rewritten a document, the more difficult it is for
you to proofread it carefully. Heres a helpful trick to play on your eyes: proofread
the document backwards.
This works because reading backwards makes the text meaningless and forces you
to focus on each individual word, enabling you to catch typos you would otherwise
miss.
If you have doubts about your punctuation, get a copy of the book Elements of Style
by Strunk and White to help you review. Its short, inexpensive, and immensely
helpful if youre serious about writing good copy.

11. Identify unique features.

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Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise.

Ted Turner

Remember what I said earlier about not using features to sell your product? Well,
theres an important caveat to that rule. Uniqueness is an important selling point
for many people. If youre selling a product that your prospect uses to identify himself as an individuallike cars, electronic equipment, Gucci handbagsthe uniqueness of the product will help you create the desire in the customers mind.
In a world teeming with 6 billion human beings, everyone wants to be unique even
in the smallest of ways, and the products they buy often allow them to feel that. If
you can see an opportunity to establish your product or service as unique in the
marketplace, features are a good way to do that.
Your customer wants to know why your product is different. Why shouldnt they
buy from your competitor? Make sure you identify those features at every opportunity. And dont be afraid to repeat yourself.

12. Describe benefits on three levels.

In a presentation at the American Writers and Artists Institute October Boot Camp,
copywriting legend Herschell Gordon Lewis showed how to write more powerful
copy by using first, second, and third-level benefits:
First-level benefit: Make a statement of superiority to others.
Example: Here at last is a silent dishwasher.
Second-level benefit: Relate that statement of superiority to the reader.
Example: Kitchen noise and clatter are gone forever.
Third-level benefit: Tell the reader how this superiority brings an improvement to
her life.
Example: For the first time, you can have a civilized kitchen conversation, or play
quiet music and actually hear it.

13. Dont be coy with your copy.

Dont hold back. Whether youre writing web copy, sales letters, or brochures, dont
hold back the best features. Get them out there for the customer to read. It doesnt
matter that your competitor might read about all your great features that they dont
have. They will find out anyway. You need those features and benefits out there for
the customer to see. When trying to communicating with a customer, you cannot
hold back vital information, or the customer will sense it, and walk away. Put your
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Advertising is, actually, a simple phenomenon in terms of

economics. It is merely a substitute for a personal sales force an
extension, if you will, of the merchant who cries aloud his wares.
Rosser Reeves

best foot forward!

14. Be precise. Be on-target.

Sift through your copy for any words that resemble: much, many, very, often. These
words are vague, and vague copy just looks like smoke and mirrors. Say how many,
how much, and how often. Words like very just inflate the text and insert fake hyperbole. You want laser precision. Dont say, She was very happy. Say, She was
ecstatic. Dont say, It is very important that you listen to me. Say, It is critical
that you read the next paragraph.

15. The odd thing about even numbers...

For some reason, even numbers are not as effective as odd numbers in copy. Example: The 6 energy stocks you must own now is somehow less appealing than The
5 energy stocks you must own now even though it promises an extra stock recommendation. And you almost never see a book titled 100 Ways to do X. Its always 101 Ways.
Copywriter Gymi Slezinger has a theory about this.Even numbers have balance
and closure, says Gymi. They dont need you. Odd numbers have something hanging. There is urgency in them.
Exception: 10 works well in copy e.g., 10 Tips for Better Technical Writing because, according to Gymi, it is authoritative.

16. Dont be afraid of long copy, even on the Web.

Dont believe the myths that long copy online wont be read and that short copy
produces more sales. You need to say enough in your online copy to convince the
prospect to act, just as your direct mail or other media copy needs to spur that act.
If you dont have good direct-response copy copy that sells bad things happen.
Craig Huey, President, Creative Direct Marketing Group
Source: SIPA Hotline, 11/6/06, p. 4.
The truth is that long copyif its done well (key phrase!)has a better chance of
making the sale, because it effectively establishes desire, trust, and convinces the
prospect to buy.

17. Watch the numbers.

When you want to make a number sound big, express it in the largest unit of meas11

Selling is an art of passion. When youre passionate about an

idea, it shows.
Tom McElligott

ure possible, even though the number preceding that unit of measure will then be
smaller.
For example: if you want to show the prospect that your company has been in business a long time, which sounds better to you?
A. 26 years.
B. More than a quarter of a century.
Note: most statistical facts can be manipulated to support whatever copy claim
you want to make.
For instance, Harry and David say of their Royal Riviera pears: Not one person
in a thousand has ever tasted them. This makes them sound exclusive, which is
what the copywriter intended. But really, it means not too many people buy them.

18. Use the right typefaces.

For a long time, I struggled with the question, What typeface should I use in the
body copy of my sales letter?
Master copywriter Bob Bly has some advice on this subject.
The best kinds of typefaces used to be typewriter fonts, either Prestige Elite or New
Courier. Bob says, Today, there is a feeling that with the long history of desktop
publishing, Times Roman is equally effective.
But I like to be safe and use Courier for all my letters. You should avoid Arial, Verdana, and other sans serif typefaces for body copy, because they are hard to read.
For headlines, I use Arial Black, and the subhead under the main headline, Arial.

19. Use the right typefaces, Part II. The Web.

According to a study performed by Dr. Ralph Wilson, online readers prefer sans
serif fonts to serif fonts for body text on Web sites exactly the opposite of what we
find in print marketing materials.
By the way, in case you dont know, serifs are the little curly-cues on this typeface,
which is Georgia. Other serif fonts are Garamond and the ubiquitous Times New Roman. Fonts like Arial, Verdana, and Trebuchet, are sans serif fontsfonts without
serifs. Another example is the numbered headings in this pamphlet which are sans
serif font, Franklin Gothic.
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The good salesman does not merely cry a name. He doesnt say,
Buy my article. He pictures the customers side of his service
until the natural result is to buy.
Claude Hopkins

For Web pages, Wilson recommends 12-point Arial for body copy, and for
headlines, large, bold Verdana fonts.

20. Supermarket numbers work.

Are consumers really fooled into thinking that a $9.99 price is cheaper than a
$10.00 price?
Apparently so: In her new Pricing Psychology Report, pricing expert Marlene Jensen says that a $9.99 price will probably pull 10% to 20% more buyers than a $10
price.
Why? Certainly not because of the one cent difference. The report states: There is a
learned pattern response in our brains that makes us see $9.99 as much lower than
$10. And it persists, even though most of us know this trick.

21. Try fragmenting your headlines.

If youre writing a brochure or other multi-panel document, try putting the reward,
the payoff for the prospect on an inside panel.
Example cover headline: You have the experience and the skills, but can you offer
the one thing that Fortune 500 companies demand from their executives?
Interior flap headline: Leadership. Some people are born with it. For everyone
else, theres Executive Edge Training Seminars.
Your prospect is encouraged to open the brochure to see the answer to the question,
and oops! Hey, the brochure is already open; lets keep reading.

22. Study and learn your product.

Before you sit down to write a single word, study your product or service and dig up
every possible benefit you can. Ask as many questions as you can of the people who
know that product best. Look at ads and direct mail packages for competitive products. If it's possible, try the product or service yourself. Then build your outline
from the benefits and selling points.
This is the tough part of copywriting. It will take more time than actually writing the
copy. Yet it is the most vital and important part of copy writing, because it forms the
basis for every word you write.
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The real secret of success is enthusiasm.

Walter Chrysler

23. Use powerful headlines.

Eighty percent of your response to a given ad comes from the headline, so your
headline is critical. Three kinds of headlines have been proven over the decades
and in millions of print ads.
The Provocative Question
If you ask the reader a question, she becomes instantly involved. But your question
must relate immediately to the most important benefit of your product or service.
Random humor or cleverness alone wont do it. Your question must excite the
reader to answer yes, or at least, Im not sure, but Ill keep reading.
The Barked Command
This kind of headline tells the reader what to do. Be direct, offer a benefit, and do it
authoritatively.
The Honest, Enthusiastic Testimonial
A testimonial headline can do two things for you. First, it presents your reader with
a third-party endorsement of your product and service. Second, it capitalizes on a
consumer's desire to know what other people are saying.

24. The power of P.S.

Studies of direct mail readers show that when they pick up a letter, they look first at
the signature and next at the P.S. Because of this simple but undeniable fact, the
P.S. becomes a vital selling opportunity. Almost every effective direct mail letter
includes one. You can use the P.S. in a variety of ways: to restate the chief benefit;
add urgency to the offer; refer the reader to other materials, such as the brochure,
order form, testimonials or other component of the package. You can also use the
P.S. to remind the prospect about the premium offer, a toll-free number for ease in
ordering, or emphasize the no-risk nature of the offer due to Free Trial or MoneyBack Guarantee.

25. Go for a walk.

No, seriously, go for a walk. But before you do, absorb as much information as you
can about your product. Walking away for a short time allows your brain to percolate. Youll be surprised at how many useful ideas emerge when you return to your
desk.

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