Documenti di Didattica
Documenti di Professioni
Documenti di Cultura
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ACUSHLA
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) 1990 W.J. Bethancourt III
(Tune: "When You And I Were Young")
A GRAZING MACE
-Anonymous
tune: "Amazing Grace"
verses 1-5 by Skald-Brandr Toralfsson
verse 6 is the original anonymous creation
verse 7 from the HOPSFA Hymnal 3rd Edition
A grazing mace, how sweet the sound, that felled my foe for me
I bashed his head, he struck the ground, and thus came victory
The King has promised good to me, his word my hope secures
I will his shield and weapon be, when he gives me my spurs
And when my mace my foeman nails, that mortal strife shall cease
And we'll possess within our pale, a life of joy and peace
A grazing mace, how sweet the sound that flattened a wretch like thee!
whose head is flat, that once was round; done in by my mace....and me!
A grazing mace, how sweet the sound that smites a foe like thee
You're left there lying on the ground, you've left the field to me!
*
#4
*
#5
Fare thee well, cold Winter, and fare thee well cold Frost
It's nothing I have gained but my own true love I've lost
I'll sing and I'll be merry, when occasion I do see
She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be!
My love she was fair, and my love she was kind, too
And many were the happy hours between my love and me
I never could refuse her, whatever she'd a mind to
She's a false, deludin' young girl, let her go! Farewell be!
*
#6
*
#7
As I sat down one evening he'd just drive them in with a war-mace
'twas in a wayside Inn and then bite them off inside
a forty year old barmaid came
and whispered by my chin He never shaved a whisker
until his helm was full
I see that you're an Anachronist and the device upon his shield
and not just some modern jerk bespoke a wild bull
for no one but an Anachronist
stirs coffee with a Dirk He vowed to me one evening
no maidens were my peers
I once loved an Anachronist he went off to prove his point
there's none like him today and he's been gone TEN YEARS...!
he kissed me in a haystack once
and burned up all the hay and so I lost my lover
and in this Inn I work
he never shaved a whisker and sit and wait for someone
from off his horny hide to stir coffee with a Dirk....
*
#8
ANNA THEA
-Anonymous (PD)
tune: Lydia Wood
recorded by Judy Collins
*
#9
*
CHORUS
CHORUS
The monkey saw the revel feast and jumped for the food
With no table manners; he was really rather rude!
The crowd gasped with horror at the awful sight:
"He eats with both hands! He's an Atenveldter Knight!"
CHORUS
ATEN MAN
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) copyright 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III
(Tune: "Irish Soldier Laddie")
CHORUS: Will you stand in the van like a true Aten man
And hold the line for Kingdom and for Crown?
Will you fight and never yield on Estrella's battlefield?
For today's the day we're takin' Caid down!
Came a knight upon his steed, with his squires ridin' after
With his pennon and his lance and his shinin' silver mail
With his Lady's Favour hangin' from his belt of leather
And passin' close he smiled and bade me "Hail!"
*
#11
ATENVELDT
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) copyright 1974, 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III
(Tune: "The West's Awake"
*
#12
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#13
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#14
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#15
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BIG AXE
-Ragnar Morkwulf
-last two verses: Ioseph of Locksley
tune: "Big Iron" (Marty Robbins)
"Ghost Riders In The Sky"
The morning passed by quickly, then 'twas time for them to meet
Wearing puffs and slashes, Jean-Eclair stood in the street
The Viking, dressed in leather, and with furs upon his frame
Was the object of the snobbish Norman's obvious disdain
"I remember now your sister," said the Norman with a smile
"You have similar taste in fashion, and no sense at all of style.
I would rather slay your tailor, but I'll kill you where you stand
You won't even have a chance to use that Big Axe in your hand!"
"I sailed all da vay vrom Norway," said the Viking with a sneer
"Not to enter fashion shows; for you would win, I fear.
I come here to find a dog, whose blood I vowed to spill
But it pleases me to see that you are dressed so - for to kill!"
But then the fop took off his hat, and grinned, and softly said
"Beneath these plumes I wear an iron cap upon my head!"
And with an evil grin he pulled a pistol with a sigh
And shot the great big Northman square between his beady eyes!
or: Who was that Vermin I saw you with last, Knight?
or: There may be Lice on all you Knice, but there ain't no Lice on me
(chorus)
*
#18
BURGUNDIAN CAROL
-Bernard La Monnonye (ca. 1650)
English translation by Oscar Brand
Dm E7 A
The Winter season of the year when to this world Our Lord was born
F C G7 C F Dm A7 Dm
The ox and donkey, so they say, did keep His Holy Presence warm.
A7 Dm A7 Dm C F A7 Dm A7 Dm Gm A7 Dm
How many oxen and donkeys, now, if they were there when first He came,
A7 Dm A7 Dm G A Dm Gm A7 Dm
How many oxen and donkeys you know, at such a time would do the same?
*
#19
A CALLING-ON SONG
recorded by Steeleye Span
"Below the Salt"
revised by Ioseph of Locksley
CAMBRIAN DREAM
-Gwydion PenDerwyn
copyright probably to Nemeton
(Chorus)
-Zoltan Kovacs
-Heinrich Palantin
-Su of the Silver Horn
-Christobal degli Gilicine
*
#21
*
*
#22
Hi said the Lady, dressed in green The Circle forms, the Circle flows
prettiest thing I've ever seen the Circle goes where no man knows
she went down underneath the hill Hail to the Lady, one in three:
and came back out of her own free will Present is Past and Past is Me!
Hi said Lugh on the banquet night Salt and oil and mirror bright
a poet and a player and a good wheelwright fire and fleet and candlelight
a harper and a warrior and none the least: by fin and feather, leaf and tree,
a Druid and he got in to the Feast! fill the cup and blessed be!
Harold Haardrada's face was red! From the misty crystal sea
Came to Britain and he wound up dead Came the Lady to the lea
Stamford Bridge is where he's found Sword and Roses in Her Hand
got six feet of English ground Spread their seeds thruout the Land
the Legion with it's Eagles bright Came the Stag from oaken wood
marched into the Pictish night saw the Lady where she stood
met them there upon the sand by the fire burning bright
gave em up to the Wicker Man! came to know his heart's delight!
eight-legged steed and hound of Hel By Sword and Harp, and Irish Hound
the one-eyed Man, he loves ya well Blessed Be: the Day I've found
fire burn and fire spark Hail to the Lady, one in Three
are you then feared of the dark? Present is Past and Past is WE
Rhiannon's Birds are still in flight By Oak and Ash and Holy Thorn
all thru the Day all thru the Night Blessed be the Day you're born!
Hail to the Lady, one in Three Fire burn and fire bright
Present is Past and Past is Thee! walk in safety thru the night
*
#23
CHAINMAIL MOMMA
-Moonwulf (Michael Langcor)
-Copyright Firebird Arts & Music
She loves me day and night, she never lets me get no rest;
I've got that chainmail waffle-weave imprinted on my chest!
*
#24
When Thor called upon the Giants, they didn't show defiance,
But they soon got rid of him, and of his Hammer!
For the sea he could not swallow, and old Grandmaw beat him hollow,
And the House-Pet caused an awful katzenjammer!
Each God's Apple every day, kept the doctor far away
'Til a Giant captured Ydun from their Halls...
Loki fetched home Bragi's Bride, with Her health-food store beside,
Plus a char-broiled eagle underneath the Walls!
*
#25
*
#26
CUP OF WONDER
-Ian Anderson
recorded: "Songs from the Wood"
Jethro Tull
copyright 1977 Salamander Music
pub. USA: Chrysalis Music Corp.
Ask the Green Man where he comes from, ask the Cup that fills with Red
Ask the old grey Standing Stones who show the Sun His way to bed
Question all as to their Ways, and learn the Secrets that they hold
Walk the lines of Nature's Palm, crossed with Silver and with Gold.
CUP OF WONDER II
-variant lyrics by Ioseph of Locksley
Ask the Green Man where he comes from, ask the Sun his way to bed
Ask the grey and Standing Stones where last they lay their head
Ask the Lady where She's standing, growing young, and growing old
Cross the Lines of Nature's Palm, marked with Silver, crossed with Gold
For the May Day is the Great Day strung along the Old Straight Track
And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back!
Ask the Lady where She's standing in the green and growing corn!
Take the Cup that's ever filling with the Blood of all that's born!
For the May Day is the Great Day, strung along the Old Straight Track
And those who ancient Lines did Ley will heed this Song that calls them back!
*
#27
DEAR KINDLY LOCAL HERALD
-Goldwyn of Britain
-tune: "Officer Krupke"
Submittor: Dear kindly local herald, I'm new - fresh off the farm.
The SCA's fantastic! I want a coat of arms!
I don't like heralds muchly. Your terms all leave me bored.
This I know - I think I want a sword.
Local: Dear kindly newcomer, don't bring it to me.
Baronial Pursuivant is the one you should see.
In heraldic terms it's called "passing the buck"
So, go away... and best of luck.
Submittor: Best of luck?
Local: Best of luck! Best of luck! You'll need all your pluck
To submit. I'll wish you best of luck.
Submittor: Dear Baronial Pursuivant, I'm told to come to you
So, here is my submission. I know it will go through
I've got a rampant dragon, a sword that's upside down.
Over all there is a golden crown!
Baronial: Dear kindly submittor, I've bad news for you.
It's nice, but you are shy about a copy or two.
Before this submission the College will see -
We should have told you - we need three.
Submittor: You need three?
Baronial: We need three copies - three! We need one, two, three.
Need eight bucks and copies one, two, three.
Submittor: Dear kindly Kingdom Herald, my name and my device
I've shown to other heralds. They say it's really nice.
My lady's made a banner - I've fiberglassed my shield.
Pass it and my future will be sealed.
Kingdom: Dear kindly submittor, I'm sorry to say
That at the herald's meeting that we had yesterday,
We checked our books singly, we checked them en masse;
I've got to tell you - it won't pass.
Submittor: It won't pass?
Kingdom: It won't pass, it won't pass. It conflicts and won't pass.
You can bet your ass it will not pass.
Submittor: Dear Laurel King (Queen) of Arms. I'm running out of hope
The pressure's getting to me. I really cannot cope.
The herald's I've avoided, the tourneys I have missed...
I've been patient. Now I'm getting pissed!
Laurel: Dear pesky submittor, quit bothering me.
'Cause heralds don't respond to an emotional plea.
I'm not gonna pass it, unless you consent
To start again - and document!
Submittor: Document!
Laurel: Document, document ere I give assent.
That is what I said and what I meant!
Local: The trouble is it's simple.
Baronial: It's overly complex.
Kingdom: The trouble is it's marshalled.
Laurel: It's like Purina Chex!
Heralds: The trouble is it has all the troubles we have known
Submittor: Heralds I've got troubles of my own!
Dear Board Of Directors - I'm pleading wit'youse
And here is all my research which you cannot refuse.
Besides all of this, there is just one more thing....
I just became my Kingdom's King!
*
#28
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#29
I'M A DARLIN'
-Anonymous
(Tune: "Dublin City")
*
#30
*
DUELING HERALDS
-Ioseph of Locksley
(Tune: "Dueling Banjos")
(c) copyright 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III
[both: "ARRGGGHHH!"]
*
#32
*
YES! And as the oars of the sleek, fierce Viking ship cut thru the water like
knives thru the fog-shrouded Nordic sea, transporting the wild, marauding
band of Viking heathens stealthily towards their unsuspecting, slumbering
victims, there he stood, on the foredeck, Elric the Awful, the wildest,
bloodthirstiest Viking of them all!
(his Momma named him Elric 'cause she couldn't spell AHHGGGRRRFFFFLLLLQQHH!)
He had a hairy head, a hairy face, hairy chest, hairy legs, hairy boots and a
hairy hat, shaped like a big bullet with horns comin' out the sides.....and
once he started after ya he'd NEVER stop!
He'd turn to his oarsmen in his 37 oared fj-ord and he'd say: "MORDEN BORDEN
FJORDEN GORDEN!" which was Viking for:
Chorus: And it was Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious
Elric the Awful, mercy sakes! and goodness gracious!
His appetite for slaughter was simply voracious
You gotta sleep with your sneakers by your side!
* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! *
That's the one! They would run for their lives, fleeing over hills and
thru valleys to the river, whereupon they would walk mid-stream for 37 and 1/2
miles, climbing out on the low-lying branch, shinnying down a young sapling
onto rocky ground and leaping from stone to stone until they arrived one week
later at a secret cave 97 miles away, and as they sat down for the first time
to catch their breath, outside they heard:
Chorus: Yes, it was Elric the Awful, the Brutal and Tenacious
Elric the Awful, turned up in the darndest places
Subtle as a chainsaw, lacking all the Social Graces
You can run, but you cannot hide!
OH! And this time they cut south to Paris, bought tickets on the Orient
Express to Istanbul, hired a U-Haul to the Coast, jumped a Greek freighter
across the Mediterranian Sea to MON-golia, hooked up with a camel caravan into
the heart of the Gobi Desert, and as they paused at an oasis, to lift one
handful of cool water to their parched lips, over their shoulder they heard:
33
Elric the Awful (cont.)
Tokyo!
* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *
Toronto!
* YA-HOOOOOOOO! *
Elric later amassed a small fortune posing for Molly Hatchet album covers,
and did stuntwork for Arnold Schwartzenegger in Conan the Barbarian! He also
won an Academy Award for his dual role as a train wreck and his tender
portrayal of King Kong's daddy! Oh, you might remember the end of that one:
there wasn't a dry eye in the house when he married the Empire State Building.
And who could forget the evening he ate the entire Kingdom of the East?
With no sugar?
* YA-HOOOOOOOOOOO! *
*
#34
Oh, what have you got there? I wish you was on the sands.
I have got my bread and cheese! Yes, and a good staff in my hands!
Oh won't you give me some? I wish you was on the sea.
No, ne'r a bite or crumb! And a good ship under me!
*
#35
FIDDLER'S GREEN
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III
(Tune: "Fiddler's Green")
*
#37
(Chorus): Oh, Flower of the Desert full well may you boast!
Proud Father-of-Kingdoms from mountains to coast!
the Land of the Phoenix; your works have been felt!
Oh Flower of the Desert: Atenveldt!
FORTUNE MY FOE
*
#38
*
"And where are the men that have done me this deed?"
Asked the King, from his horse ridden lame,
"'Twas outlaws and brigands from back in the woods,
They've since fled back whence they all came."
GAUDETE
from: Piae Cantones (Swedish, 1582)
Recorded by Steeleye Span "Below the Salt"
Latin: English:
(1) A character from "Thieve's World." Damn Bob Asprin gets in EVERYWHERE!
(2) Alien beings reputed to be used-car salesmen.
*
#41
GUINIVERE
-Donovan Leitch
(Chorus)
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#42
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#43
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#44
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#45
One day when God was walkin' The verdict, it was GUILTY
Round Heaven to meditate, Harry said "Oh, well!"
Who should he see but Harry So he tucked his nightie round his knees
Chalkin' slogans on the Gate! And he drifted down to Hell
Slogans on the Gate (&c) Drifted down to Hell (&c.)
They brought him up on charges Now seven long years have passed
Before the Holy Ghost And Harry's doin' swell!
For spreadin' Roundhead thinkin' He's just been made First People's
Amongst the Heavenly Host! Commissar of Parliament Hell!
Amongst the Heavenly Host (&c) Commissar of Parliament Hell
(Just a mile from Ysgithr!)
He's just been made First People's
Commissar of Parliament Hell!
" ....we haven't got it, we upped the fees, we changed the forms,
and it violates the Rule of Three."
(nb: every single one of these reasons has been used by the
CoA, at one point or another, to reject perfectly good
heraldry, along with some even MORE stupid. If the shoe
fits....................!!!!!!!!)
Am E Am A dim
How should I your true love know?
C G Dm Am
From another one?
Dm Am A dim
By his cockle-hat and staff
Am C G Am G
And his sandal shoon.
THE HIGHWAYMAN
Em G C
The wind was a torrent of darkness among the gusty trees,
Em G C D
The moon was a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas
Em G Cd
The road was a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
Em G B7 Em
And the highwayman came riding, riding, riding-
C G C D
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn door.
Over the cobbles he clattered and clashed in the dark inn yard
And he tapped with his whip on the shutters, but all was locked and barred;
He whistled a tune to the window and who should be waiting there
But the landlord's black eyed daughter, Bess, the landlord's daughter
Plaiting a red love-knot into her long black hair.
* more *
#49
The Highwayman (cont.)
And still of a winter's night, they say, when the wind is in the trees
When the moon is a ghostly galleon tossed upon cloudy seas,
When the road is a ribbon of moonlight over the purple moor,
A highwayman comes riding, riding, riding-
A highwayman comes riding, up to the old inn door.
E Am E Am E Am E Am
If you go out on the streets today, you better not go alone!
C G C G C G C
Do not go out on the streets today, it's safer to stay at home!
F G C Am G
The least excuse that ever there was today will mean a challenge because
F C F C G C
From drink last night old Fafhrd is quite....hungover!
C
Hungover Barbarian! You'd best beware of him,
G7
he's certainly not himself today!
E7
so......
*
#50
I wear this bird around my neck to impress both young and old
My talents they are many, and younger Peers I scold!
Oh, I'm a Pelican and I'm OK
I work all night and I work all day!
When things go wrong it's me you seek to put them back on course
If I'm not around to steer things right: there's always God, of course!
Oh I'm a Pelican and I'm OK
I work all night and I work all day!
I'M A VIKING
-Elfrida the Landless
(tune: "Oh, Susannah")
Oh, we had a raid the other night when everything was still
We waited until moonrise and came shrieking down the hill!
The blood was pouring down the streets, the women ran and screamed;
It was better fun than anyone could possibly have dreamed!
Am F G Am
I have been a traveller, I've seen the far countries
Am F C G
Marched across the meadows - sailed across the seas
Am F G Am
Faced the fearsome slaughter in the madness of the line
Am F G Am
Watched the death of innocence - surprised when it was mine.
Now, I'm old, but hale enough, with many tales to tell
My shares brought me this roadside inn, which suits my temper well
But when the weather's cold, my wounds will ache again, I fear,
I kill the pain with sleeping-herbs, and mugs of barley beer.
*
#52
IOSEPH'S SONG
-Ioseph of Locksley
copyright 1972, 1989 W. J. Bethancourt III
(Tune: same as "Song Of Golias")
Now Atenveldt your fighters, all, are most good and gentle
And the Ladies, bless 'em all, are most ornamental!
But that little Nikki-Toad....has me sentimental
Though with boffer in her hand she is argumental!
*
#53
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#54
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#55
JOHN BARLEYCORN
(Note: sing the chorus after every other verse. For SCA use, this song is very
effective as a solo performance in the beginning, with more and more people
joining the chorus as the High Table is served, ending (preferably) with a
presentation of home-made mead or ale.)
*
###############################
#57
*
#58
He's chased the deer now him before, and the doe down by the glen
When the fattest buck in all the flock, King Henry he has slain
His huntsmen followed him to the Hall, to make them burly cheer
When loud the wind was heard to howl, and an earthquake rocked the floor
As darkness covered all the Hall where they sat at their meat
The grey dogs, yowling, left their food and crept to Henry's feet
And louder howled the rising wind, and burst the fastened door
When in there came a grisly ghost, stamping on the floor!
Her head hit the rooftree of the house, her middle you could not span
Each frightened Huntsman fled the hall, and left the King alone
Her teeth were like the tether-stakes, her nose like club or mall
And nothing less she seemed to be than a Fiend that comes from Hell!
Some meat, some meat, you King Henry, some meat you bring to me
Go kill your horse, you King Henry, and bring some meat to me!
And he has slain his berry-brown steed, it made his heart full sore
For she's eaten it up, both skin and bone, left nothing but hide and hair!
More meat, more meat, you King Henry, more meat you give to me!
Oh you must kill your good greyhounds, and bring some meat to me!
And he has slain his good greyhounds, it made his heart full sore
For she's eaten them up, both skin and bone, left nothing but hide and hair!
More meat, more meat, you King Henry, more meat you give to me!
Oh, you must slay your good goshawks, and bring some meat to me!
And he has slain his good goshawks, it made his heart full sore
For she's eaten them up, both skin and bone, left nothing but feathers bare!
Some drink, some drink, you King Henry, some drink you give to me
Oh you sew up your horse's hide, and bring some drink to me!
And he's sewn up the bloody hide, and a pipe of wine put in
And she's drank it up all in one drop, left never a drop therein!
A bed, a bed, now King Henry, a bed you'll make for me!
Oh you must pull the heather green, and make it soft for me!
And he has pulled the heather green, and made for her a bed
And taken has he his good mantle, and over it he has spread.
Take off your clothes, now King Henry, and lie down by my side!
Now swear, now swear, you King Henry, to take me as your Bride!
Oh God forbid, said King Henry, that ever the like betide;
That ever a Fiend that comes from Hell should stretch down by my side!
Then the night was gone, and the day was come and the sun did fill the Hall
The fairest Lady that ever was seen lay twixt him and the wall!
I've met with many a Gentle Knight that gave me such a fill,
But never before with a Perfect Knight, that gave me all my Will!
*
#59
LOCKSLEY MONSTERS
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) copyright 1974, 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III
*
#60
LOCKSLEY PLOT
-Agnes of Blackfield
-Yehudah ben Levi
-Tune: "My Favourite Things"
CHORUS
CHORUS
*
#61
*
#62
Silent Night
Adeste fideles,
Laeti triumphantes;
Venite, venite in Bethlehem;
Natum videte
Regem angelorum,
Venite adoramus (3 times)
Dominum.
Jingle Bells
She danced on the water, and the wind was Her horn
The Lady laughed, and everything was born
And when She lit the sun and its' light gave Him birth
The Lord of the Dance first appeared on the Earth
The Horn of the Lady cast its' sound 'cross the Plain
The birds took the notes, and gave them back again
Till the sound of Her music was a Song in the sky
And to that Song there is only one reply:
*
#65
LOVER'S HEART
-Andy Stewart
Phil Cunningham
recorded by Silly Wizard
"A Glint of Silver"
copyright 1986 Bracken Music Services
C G C Am
last night we spoke of love
C Am Dm E
now we're forced to part
Am G C Am
you leave to the sound of a marching drum
Dm7 G7 C
and the beat of a lover's heart
She was by the shore in the evening when next I saw my dear
running barefoot by the water side, she called as I drew near
the sunlight glanced at the water's edge making fire of her auburn hair
my young heart danced at her parting words that hung in the evening air
(chorus)
She was on the Strand next morning when orders came to sail
and as we slipped our ropes away I watched her from the rail
she threw me a rose, which fell between us, and floated on the Bay
and as our ship pulled from the shore, I heard her call and say
(chorus)
Now the soldier's life won't suit me, sweet music is my trade
for I'd rather melt the hardest heart than pierce it with a blade
Let the time be short till I return to my home in the mountains high
and the loving girl who stole my heart with these words as I passed by
(chorus)
*
#66
*
MADIERA,M'DEAR
- Michael Flanders and Donald Swann
* recorded by the Limelighters,
Electra Records LPM 2272 "Tonight:In Person"
She was young, she was pure, she was new, she was NICE
she was fair, she was Sweet Seventeen.
He was old, he was vile, and no stranger to Vice
he was Bad, he was Base, he was Mean....
He had slyly inviegled her up to his flat
to view his collection of.....stamps ( all un-perforated...)
and he said as he hastened to put out the cat
the wine, his cigar.....and the lamps:
"Have some Madiera, m'dear.....
it's ever so much nicer than Beer!
I don't care for Sherry, and one cannot drink Stout,
and Port is a wine I can well do without!
( Actually it's a case of 'Chacun a son GOUT....')
Have some Madiera, m'dear?"
She sipped it, she drank it, she drained it, she did!
He slyly re-filled it again,
and he said, as he secretly carved one more notch
on the butt of his gold-handled cane....
"Have some Madiera, m'dear?
I have a small cask of it here...
and once it's been opened, well, you know it won't keep,
DO finish it up; it will help you to...sleep...."
"Have some Madiera, m'dear?
You really have nothing to fear..
Now if it were Gin you'd do wrong to say 'yes'
the Evil Gin Does would be hard to assess...
(and, besides, it's inclined to affect my Prowess....)
Have some Madiera, m'dear?"
Then there flashed thru her mind what her mother had said
with her ante-pen-ultimate breath:
"Oh, my child, should you gaze on the Wine When 'Tis Red:
BE PREPARED FOR A FATE WORSE THAN DEATH!"
She let go the glass with a shy little cry ( eek! )
Crash! Tinkle! it fell to the floor
When he said: "What in Heaven?" She made no reply
but took off in a dash for the door!
"Have some Madiera, m'dear?"
Rang out down the hall, loud and clear
in a tremulous voice that was filled with Despair
as she paused to take breath in the cool, midnite air...
MAD MAUDLIN
-Traditional
C F
Vikings are easy to find, but they're hard to survive;
G C
They'd rather tear out your throat that leave you alive.
C
Long, greasy pigtails, and dirty old tunics,
F
and some town is burning today;
G
After they've robbed you and raped your poor wife,
C
They'll prob'ly just sail away.
<Chorus>
C F
Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Vikings,
G
Don't let 'em sail longships and crack people's heads,
C
Let 'em be farmers or shepherds instead.
C F
Mamas, don't let you babies grow up to be Vikings,
G
Cause they'll rape and they'll pillage, from village to village,
C
Even when they're still at home.
Vikings like smokey old mead halls, and burned Christian bodies;
Fjords in the morning, and trollops who put up a fight;
Them that don't know 'em, won't live long, and them that do
Sometimes don't know who they're after;
They're mean and they're vicious, though no one knows why,
And they're sneaky but not too damn bright.
Author's Note:
(If you think the second verse is awkward, listen to the original!)
*
#69
MEN OF GARLIC
-Robert L. Plunkett
copyright 1987 R.L.Plunkett
-tune: "Men of Harlech"
*
#70
*
Away out here they have a name for even the Ump that's Wuggly
But the last word in Awfulness, M'Lady, you're The Ugly!
Then one day, M'Lady came, and stopped the clocks from tickin'
she curdled milk, aborted cows, and stopped my stamps from stickin'!
(chorus)
Away out here they have a name for everything worth seein'
but if M'Lady looks at you, then soon you will be fleein'
(chorus)
*
Citizen: Oh, Mongols will pillage, they'll rape and they'll burn
Their habits are such as to make stomachs turn
The bastards keep coming, the world's over run
They're the worst that we've seen since Attila the Hun!
CHORUS 1
CHORUS 2
*
#72
The Mongols are a funny race: The Mongols are a funny race,
So are you! It is true!
They hold the Kingdom in distaste, They always will be in your face!
It is true! It is true!
Their dispositions are rather mean; Try to run them out of town;
Their verses tend to be unclean! They'll burn yer goddam castle down!
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
They make their chiefest pleasure still Their ladies tend to carry knives!
So they do, So they do!
To do the KaKhan's evil will Daughters, girlfriends, even wives!
All over you! So they do!
And when they're given no indication Leave 'em alone, you silly fool,
They use their own imagination! Or they will take your family jewels!
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
When the Mongols they did see The Mongols in your Barony
First time thru, Enjoy the view!
The Middle Kingdom climbed a tree! There's more of them than you can see!
It is true! It is true!
Two sword-brothers and KaKhan Yang, They're not looking to burn your town,
They thought it was a biker gang! All they want is "lebensraum!"
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
Now Yang's no longer with the Horde The Spider Clan is in your town
Sad, but true! It is true!
But Middle Kingdom's never bored There's ninjas lurking all around!
It is true! Listening to you!
With Tuchux, Mongols and Moritu Every time you make a plan
The Kingdoms don't know what to do! The Dark Horde has it "in the can!"
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
The Horde has met in Kurultai The Warlord doesn't say too much;
They spoke of you! (thought you knew!)
They've raised a mighty battle cry! Just sits and drinks a lot of his
HO! WATSU! Tullimore Dew!
They're marching out with cool aplomb They say that he's unscrupulous,
It's rumored that they have THE BOMB! Vicious, mean and venomous!
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! (2)
Given a choice, the Horde will choose The Spider Clan, somewhere out there,
This is true! Is out there too!
Irish songs and Irish booze! Riding thru the desert air,
So would you! So they do!
A Celtic Mongol is a sight Their weapons glitter in the sun:
To make you lose your sleep at night! Swords and knives...and Tommy guns!
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
There's Mongols marching day and night The Mongols have a lot of songs
Right at you! Too, too true!
They're spoiling for a good old fight! They will sing them all night long!
It is true! About you!
They're marching out with flags unfurled If they don't run out of breath
Today your Kingdom, TOMORROW THE WORLD! They will sing you half to death!
Tomorrow belongs to me, not you! Tomorrow belongs to me, not you!
(more....Gawd!)
#74
The Mongols Are A Funny Race (Cont.)
*
#76
Near the village, the peaceful village, the Mongols creep tonight.
Near the village, the quiet village, the Mongols creep tonight.
CHORUS: bass: the Mongol Horde, the Mongol Horde, the Mongol Horde, etc.
soprano: Yang! Yang! Yang! Yang! etc.
non-singers: creative screaming as they deem appropriate
CHORUS: as above
CHORUS: as above
*
#77
Who's the leader of the troop that's made for me and thee?
He who hands the muskets out: Good old King Louis!
Zounds! Gadzooks! Well Met, Lads! Fill your tankards up with me!
And toast His Grace who sets the pace: Good old King Louis!
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
*
#78
Am B7 Am G Am E7 Am
My love, my love, you broke my heart; I'm off to join the Wars
Am B7 Am G Am E7 Am A
I'm off to free the Holy Land from Saracens and Moors.
D A D D6 E7
And if you ever loved me dear, prepare my plot and stone
Am B7 Am G Am E7 A
Turn loose my hawks and hunting hounds: I'll not be riding home.
I cannot live with broken heart; the wound you gave will kill.
And Death's cold hand is on my Soul, I feel his awful chill.
My Destiny lies on the Field, in months, or days, or years....
And if you never loved me dear, shed not your lying tears.
*
#79
If You Let Him Take Bearkiller On, I'm Afraid That Will Be That
You'll Hear One Last Beserker Yell, Then A Loud Resounding Splat
And Your Squire Will Be Slightly Dead And Very, Very Flat
He's Nobody's Squire (And He'll Never Get No Higher)
He's Nobody's Squire Now
*
#80
NOTTAMUN TOWN
-Traditional
And the King and the Queen and the company more
Came a riding behind and a walking before
Come a stark naked drummer beating a drum
With his hands in his bosom came marching along
*
#81
NUDE
-Ioseph of Locksley
-Aengus MacEdwin
copyright 1982 W.J.Bethancourt III and Ed Hirt
(Tune: "Men of Harlech")
*
#82
*
OH MY LADYE
-Ioseph of Locksley copyright 1989 W. J. Bethancourt III
(Tune: Lizzie Lindsay (Child #226)
*
*
O-L-A-F!
-Ioseph of Locksley
(tune: "L-O-L-A")
*
#83
O-R-L-OP!
-Ioseph of Locksley
(tune: "L-O-L-A")
PARCEL OF MONGOLS
-Mike Stein
-Ioseph of Locksley
(Tune: "Parcel of Rogues In A Nation")
*
PLUNDERER'S THEME
(tune: "Supercalifragilistic...etc.)
*
#86
RENFESTIE
-Jane Rogge Fredericksen
-copyright 1990 Jane Rogge Fredericksen
(tune: "Wild Rover")
This makes a good singalong. If you are one of the variant bunches that
sings Wild Rover with four sharp claps after the first line of the chorus,
you may choose to add the (traditional Minnesota Renaissance Festival)
phrase "Right up your kilt!" in place of the clapping, varying it with "We
want a raise!" if the song is being sung ON site.
*
#87
*
*
#88
RUE
-Anonymous
-recorded by Theodore Bikel
Come, all you fair and tender girls that flourish in your prime, prime
Beware, beware, make your garden fair; let no man steal your thyme, thyme
Let no man steal your thyme.
For when your thyme is past and gone he'll care no more for you, you
And every day that your garden is waste will be spread o'er with rue, rue
Will be spread o'er with rue.
*
#89
Now you are the age you are Fear and gloom and darkness but
Your demise cannot be far no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT
May the candles on your cake You're a period cook, its true
burn like cities in your wake ask the beetles in the stew
Burn the Castle and storm the keep Now your jail-bait days are done
Kill the Women but SAVE THE SHEEP! let's go out and have some fun!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks You must marry very soon
equal those with sword and axe baby's due the next full moon
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue Were I sitting in your shoes
Your children plot to murder you I'd go out and sing the blues
They stole your gold, your sword, your house Tho you're turning 29
They stole your sheep, but not your spouse age to you is like fine wine
So another year has passed Long ago your hair turned grey
don't look now they're gaining fast! now it's falling out, they say
Black Death has just struck your town It's your birthday never fear
you yourself feel quite run-down You'll be dead this time next year
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
*
#90
The first good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of One
To see Our Saviour, Jesus Christ, when he was first Her Son!
(Chorus): When He was first Her Son, good man, and blessed may He be!
With Father, Son and Holy Ghost thru all Eternity!
The next good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Two
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, to make the lame to go!
The next good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Three
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, to make the blind to see!
The next good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Four
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, to read the Bible o'er!
The next good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Five
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, to bring the dead alive!
The next good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Six
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, upon the Crucifix!
The last good joy that Mary had, it was the joy of Seven
To see Her own Son, Jesus Christ, to wear the Crown of Heaven!
*
#91
I'll find you in the courtrooms, I'll find you in the schools
When you hear the piper play,
I'll take away the wise me, take away the fools,
And bring their bodies all to clay.
Then she stepped away from me, and she moved thru the Faire
And so fondly I watched her move here and move there
At last she turned homeward, with one star awake
As the Swan in the evening moves over the lake.
SILVER WHISTLE
-recorded by The Silly Sisters
*
#93
*
I have known both joy and grief, neat, and mixed together
Cold and Heat I've known, and found both good drinking weather
Light and Darkness I have known, seldom doubting whether
Tammuz would return again, when he'd slipped his tether!
Tammuz must have joined us there, but he'd just got wedded
And Ininni (blast the Wench!) hacked him as they bedded
Such a honeymoon as that, I have always dreaded....
For a drinking man is...spoiled...once he's been beheaded!
SONG OF IVANOF
-Ioseph of Locksley
(c) copyright 1974, 1990 W.J.Bethancourt III
There is a man who we know well that does the best he can
but he's displayed in armour made of reticulated garbage cans!
He looks so fine and fair and strong, oh how he plays the man
and how it's prized, those galvanized, reticulated garbage cans
*
#95
SONG OF THE THREE
copyright 1981 W. J. Bethancourt III and C. A. Bethancourt III
tune: the song of the Cowardly Lion, Tin Woodsman and Scarecrow
They say that I'm conceited, but I'm just badly treated
by people and by BoD
just think of what they're missing by My Majesty dismissing
Oh they'd better make me God!
*
#97
*
#98
STRANGEST DREAM
copyright 1984 W. J. Bethancourt III
recorded: CELTIC CIRCLE DANCE
WTP-0002C
I dreamed I saw the finest thing that ever man could make
grow great and strong and undefiled: Pray God I never wake!
*
#99
keep away from that Land with its' cactus and marshes
it's no place for Mongols who are bent on War
they count their blows well, but they strike them yet better
he crawled into his Yurt, and fell, dead, on the floor.....
*
#100
*
#101
*
#102
TODAY
-Anonymous
(Tune: "Today")
*
#103
CHORUS: "We come in peace," they said, "To dig and sow,
We come to work the lands in common
And to make the waste ground grow.
This earth divided we will make whole
So it will be a common treasury for all!
*
#104
*
#105
TWA CORBIES
(Child #26)
(Tune: from Brittany: "Al Alarc'h")
recorded by Joe Bethancourt
"Celtic Circle Dance"
*
#106
TWO MAGICIANS
(Child #44)
recorded by Steeleye Span "Below the Salt"
note: This has MANY variants. See Robert Graves' "The White Goddess" pg. 401!
*
#107
(Chorus)
She took twenty more from her boots and her hair
then she proceeded to doff gown so fair
and her trembleing husband got quite a surprise
for beneath it she wore chain-mail made to her size!
(Chorus)
(Chorus)
*
#108
*
#109
And has their King not loyal Knights that He must be afraid
of brawling in his Hall and of Assassin's bloody blade?
the Rights of Men to carry Arms at least WE'VE not foreswore
and a POX on them that made the Rule of Weapons at the Door!
*
#110
We've all been touched by Royalty and wear a white sword belt
and whether on or off the field, our presence will be felt!
One warning we should give to all; please list to what we say:
Unless you also wear the belt, best not get in our way!
Our ranks are filled with the elite, the rest are cannon fodder
And as for social graces, well, we never have to bother.
For in this Current Middle Age, we're ROYALTY, not servants!
And if your armour's thick enough, who needs to be observant?
*
#111
Yes, we are just plain folks who mind our own business,
honest, and loyal, and full of good cheer.
So if you should wander out by the Welsh border,
come stop by and meet all the friendly folk here.
*
#112
*
WILTED ROSE
-Baldwin of Erebor
copyright 1980 Derek Foster
My Lord spends his time out on the Field, and dreams of strawberry leaves
I spend my days in a castle room..embroidering on his sleeves!
The other Ladies sit and talk of Barons, Dukes and Kings
But when I draw near they stand, and bow, and don't tell me a thing!
The common folk may flout and flirt and frolic in the grass
I'm the Model of Decorum..it's dull as hell!...no one will make a Pass!
*
#113
*
Through the dusty corridors for miles and miles she goes
She often catches cold, poor thing, it's cold there when it blows
And it's awfully awfully awkward for the Queen to blow her nose
With her head tucked underneath her arm!
CHORUS
She's looking for King Henry and she'll give him what-for!
Gadzooks! She's awfully mad at him for having spilled her gore!
And just in case the Headsman wants to give her an encore...
She's got her head tucked underneath her arm!
CHORUS
(Reprise Intro):
CHORUS
*
#114
YE POLITICOS BY NAME
(Tune: "Sam Hall")
*
#115
*
You never close your eyes any more when I hit your helm
You've been beat upon by knights of a dozen realms
You're trying hard not to show it (turkey)
But squire, the marshals all know it
CHORUS:
CHORUS