1

00:00:09,260 --> 00:00:12,935

'Nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estate
is the Garden of Eden,
2
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:17,571
'but it's been a good home to us,
to me, Frank Gallagher,
3
00:00:17,660 --> 00:00:20,493
'and me kids, who I'm proud of,
4
00:00:20,580 --> 00:00:23,492
'cos every one of 'em
reminds me a little of me.
5
00:00:23,580 --> 00:00:29,212
'They can think for themselves,
which they've me to thank for.
6
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:32,098
'Fiona, who's a massive help.
7
00:00:32,180 --> 00:00:37,095
'Lip, who's a bit of a gobshite, which is
why nobody calls him Phillip any more.
8
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:41,810
'Lan's like his mam, which is handy
for the others, cos she's disappeared.
9
00:00:41,900 --> 00:00:44,573
'Carl. We daren't let his hair grow,
for two reasons.
10
00:00:44,660 --> 00:00:48,733
'One, it stands on end and makes him
look like Toyah. Two, nits love it.
11
00:00:48,820 --> 00:00:52,210
'Debbie! Sent by God. Total angel.
12
00:00:52,300 --> 00:00:55,770
'Check your change,
but she'll always do you a favour.
13
00:00:55,860 --> 00:00:58,693
'Plus Liam! Gonna be a star,

14
00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:01,055
'once we've got the fits under control.
15
00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:07,413
'Steve, Fiona's boyfriend.
The truth is out there. Not.
16
00:01:07,500 --> 00:01:10,333
'Fantastic neighbours, Kev and Veronica.
17
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:12,615
'Lend you anything - well, not anything.
18
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:16,488
'But, all of them, to a man,
know first and foremost
19
00:01:16,580 --> 00:01:19,492
'one of the most vital necessities
in this life
20
00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:22,777
'is they know how to throw a party!
21
00:01:22,860 --> 00:01:24,976
'Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! Scatter! '
22
00:01:29,980 --> 00:01:32,448
(Steve) 'The more time
I spent with this family,
23
00:01:32,540 --> 00:01:35,612
'the more I sussed
that the linchpins were the females.
24
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,294
'Fiona, the breadwinner,
surrogate mother,
25
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:41,611
'then Debbie,
a born leader in a tribe of males.'
26
00:01:41,700 --> 00:01:43,053
Good morning, Crumble.

27
00:01:43,140 --> 00:01:46,416
'Everything she did was
for the benefit of that family.
28
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,378
'She had stamina,
compassion, and understanding.
29
00:01:49,460 --> 00:01:52,133
'But she also had
a twisted view of generosity.
30
00:01:52,220 --> 00:01:56,498
'She was only happy when she pleased
people. One Saturday changed all that.
31
00:01:56,580 --> 00:02:00,209
'She emerged from her chrysalis
a fully-formed butterfly.
32
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:03,098
'Lt was a day none of us
could ever forget,
33
00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:05,171
'however hard we tried.'
34
00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:09,890
- Wow! Gorgeous girl, aren't you? Mm...
- (Traffic rumbles)
35
00:02:11,980 --> 00:02:14,414
(Wind chimes tinkling)
36
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:27,332
(Groans)
37
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:29,376
(Car horn toots)
38
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,853
For God's sake.
39
00:02:48,140 --> 00:02:53,294
- Ooh, sorry! I thought you were out.
- I was round Nana's but the water's off.

40
00:02:54,220 --> 00:02:55,938
- Eh, Frank.
- Yeah?
41
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:57,976
Chuck us that towel.
42
00:03:04,420 --> 00:03:08,572
I don't think so.
I'll make do with a hand towel.
43
00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:12,896
But...
44
00:03:12,980 --> 00:03:15,653
Don't throw it.
45
00:03:19,140 --> 00:03:20,892
All right, love.
46
00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:24,416
There you go. There you are.
47
00:03:28,260 --> 00:03:31,411
(Sheila) Those cats
have been at our bin again.
48
00:03:52,860 --> 00:03:56,853
- Do you want owt from the chemist?
- Ooh! Only if you're passing.
49
00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,408
But if he tries palming you off
with Seroxin,
50
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,219
saying it's the same as Praxil,
well, it's not.
51
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,736
This one says 300 milligrams,
so I want 300 milligrams.
52
00:04:05,820 --> 00:04:07,776
Not a shed-load of 150s.
53

00:04:17,260 --> 00:04:18,579

(Door closes)
54
00:04:18,660 --> 00:04:20,616
(Car horn toots)
55
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,497
Aw...
56
00:04:23,540 --> 00:04:25,496
Look at that!
57
00:04:27,860 --> 00:04:32,012
- You need a lift?
- An hour ago, yeah. Where is that from?
58
00:04:32,100 --> 00:04:35,649
(Chuckles) One careful owner my dentist.
59
00:04:35,740 --> 00:04:38,857
- Your own dentist?
- Yeah, well, he robs me, I rob him.
60
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:42,171
I saw you driving down Princess Road
this morning. I waved.
61
00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:45,172
Yeah, well, sorry mate, didn't see you.
62
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:47,216
It was red then.
63
00:04:52,740 --> 00:04:53,968
Hello.
64
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,456
(Footsteps upstairs)
65
00:04:59,220 --> 00:05:01,450
Can you hear that?
66
00:05:04,260 --> 00:05:06,057
It's one of the kids.
67

00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,736

(Footsteps again)
68
00:05:08,820 --> 00:05:12,335
Can't be.
You watched me unlock the door.
69
00:05:12,420 --> 00:05:14,376
Lip's got the only other set.
70
00:05:24,780 --> 00:05:27,374
(Thuds)
71
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:29,416
Not a chance!
72
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:32,970
- If they're burgling us, it's a nutter.
- Shut the fuck up!
73
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:36,810
(Stair creaks)
74
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:39,095
(Door opens)
75
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:45,128
(Laughter)
76
00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:50,933
State of him! If you weren't a mate,
we'd put it round, "gutless wimp".
77
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:55,775
- Said the gobbets at the back!
- With biceps and up front, skid marks!
78
00:05:56,820 --> 00:06:00,859
You OK, Debs? You're not, are you?
79
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:06,410
- I went past Katy Mason's party.
- Who's Katy Mason?
80
00:06:07,620 --> 00:06:09,019
Just outside,

81
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:11,534
walking past.
82
00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:14,532
And her dad, he...
83
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:19,930
- Her dad did what?
- Nothing.
84
00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:25,616
Debbie...
85
00:06:26,860 --> 00:06:28,896
Just take your time, all right?
86
00:06:34,020 --> 00:06:38,059
He was just laughing with them,
and playing with them.
87
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,416
I couldn't see their faces.
88
00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,650
It's not fair!
89
00:06:44,740 --> 00:06:46,696
Hey, hey! What wasn't fair?
90
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:49,418
Everything.
91
00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:54,569
- So, I nicked something.
- You...?
92
00:06:54,660 --> 00:06:57,299
(Laughter)
93
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,291
From the party?
94
00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:01,940
Jesus, Debbie!
95

00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:05,171

- Me heart nearly stopped then!
- Debs, we've all done it.
96
00:07:05,260 --> 00:07:07,979
Well done for owning up,
but don't try it again.
97
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:11,132
Especially if confessions
are your strong point!
98
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:17,174
- You cheeky monkey!
- (Baby chattering upstairs)
99
00:07:20,900 --> 00:07:22,856
(Liam) Who's that, Debbie?
100
00:07:38,820 --> 00:07:40,458
(Giggling)
101
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:08,896
(Police siren)
102
00:08:09,940 --> 00:08:11,896
Oh, here we go!
103
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,970
Send in the clowns! What have we done?
104
00:08:19,060 --> 00:08:20,857
Hey, what's anybody done?
105
00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:26,013
Don't pick on people round here.
106
00:08:27,820 --> 00:08:32,052
Tony Blair! You want a set to,
go and nail that twat!
107
00:08:34,620 --> 00:08:37,498
Who's the parents?
Move back! Who are the parents?
108
00:08:37,580 --> 00:08:41,368
- Here they are.

- Now, listen to me. No, listen to me.

109
00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:45,009
The faster we get information...
Come on, what are your names?
110
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:47,170
- Jackie and Stewart.
- Jackie, Stewart,
111
00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:50,730
the faster we get information,
the faster we know what to do.
112
00:08:50,820 --> 00:08:53,812
There's a team on the way
and we need precise details.
113
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,653
- When did you last see Jody?
- Half twelve.
114
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:58,571
- Age?
- Three next week.
115
00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:00,173
He was a really good angel.
116
00:09:11,780 --> 00:09:15,659
Kiddie. Up the street. Snatched!
117
00:09:16,740 --> 00:09:18,696
Thin air!
118
00:09:18,780 --> 00:09:20,736
Oh, God help us...
119
00:09:25,660 --> 00:09:27,616
(Giggles)
120
00:09:27,980 --> 00:09:30,653
I'll show you who's best man.
121
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:34,575
- Hey, Lip, is it true?
- What?

122
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:37,777
- Unlucky in white, if you're lying.
- What?
123
00:09:38,820 --> 00:09:41,050
"My big day, Robert."
124
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:45,656
She only married him cos he paid off
his mortgage out of Disability.
125
00:09:47,980 --> 00:09:48,935
Oof!
126
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:51,215
- What's your name?
- Jody.
127
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,255
Jody.
128
00:09:52,340 --> 00:09:54,615
'She was outside the gate.'
129
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,577
No-one was watching.
130
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:58,810
Did she walk up
and you just spotted her?
131
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:02,688
And you are happy that we found you
132
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:05,248
when you were looking
for your mam on the street?
133
00:10:05,340 --> 00:10:08,571
You'd no idea where she belongs,
so you brought her here.
134
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,412
So that we could help you.
135

00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,014

No. She had a party badge on.
136
00:10:13,100 --> 00:10:15,660
- Why'd you take her?
- She was crying for her mum.
137
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,651
Where was her mum? Nobody cared!
138
00:10:17,740 --> 00:10:22,450
They will now! For fuck's sake, this is all
we need. Are you right in the head?
139
00:10:22,540 --> 00:10:25,452
- Grr!
- Fiona, calm down, all right?
140
00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,496
Kids get lost all the time.
141
00:10:27,580 --> 00:10:29,696
We take it back and we say...
142
00:10:29,780 --> 00:10:33,329
(Fiona) We're going to take you home,
aren't we, Jody?
143
00:10:33,420 --> 00:10:34,375
Yeah.
144
00:10:41,060 --> 00:10:43,574
- Hi. What's going on?
- It's OK, Andrea.
145
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:47,654
Me and lan, we're just having a laugh.
146
00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,891
Aren't prostitutes shy?
147
00:10:50,980 --> 00:10:54,336
- Still doing insurance claims, Lip?
- What are you after?
148
00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:58,493
I'm thinking, high winds, March 18th.

Aerial goes through the roof.

149
00:10:58,580 --> 00:11:00,616
Look, for Christ's sake!
150
00:11:00,700 --> 00:11:05,854
...to two floors down. That's two ceilings,
three carpets, and a NICAM telly.
151
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:09,933
Do you know what an aerial weighs?
Let's say the chimney went.
152
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,772
How much do you charge?
153
00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:15,933
Ten for the forms, 20 when the claim's
paid, plus labour for pretend rubble,
154
00:11:16,020 --> 00:11:17,851
cos you don't have a chimney.
155
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:21,853
(Megaphone) 'Ladies and gentlemen,
please can I have your attention?
156
00:11:21,940 --> 00:11:26,650
'I know emotions are running high.
I appreciate you really want to help... '
157
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:31,018
How many times does this have
to happen before anybody listens?
158
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:34,740
Eh? Hey, count the troops!
159
00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:40,497
Count the troops! If we lived in Chorlton
they'd be all over like fucking crabs.
160
00:11:40,580 --> 00:11:42,696
A kiddie missing, one van, one car!
161
00:11:42,780 --> 00:11:45,977
Six monkeys! You know, makes you sick!

162
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:50,373
Not the pigs themselves,
you know, thingies...
163
00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:57,059
Policies! The Home Office.
Probably Tony Blair! Again! I say...
164
00:11:57,140 --> 00:11:59,096
Look at everybody.
165
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:03,537
We haven't got a clue about this.
We found her walking, all right?
166
00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:07,010
- I feel sick.
- You get her out, I'll do the talking.
167
00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,056
Oh, Fiona, Steve.
168
00:12:09,140 --> 00:12:12,052
Kiddie, this size. Jody. Little Jody.
169
00:12:12,140 --> 00:12:15,894
- You haven't passed a kiddie?
- Somebody wandered off, Frank?
170
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:20,576
No! Frank spotted a junkie
looking over the fence at the party.
171
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:23,333
About ten seconds before
little Jody disappears!
172
00:12:23,420 --> 00:12:26,378
Junkie with dreads.
Ugly bastards. Scummy.
173
00:12:26,460 --> 00:12:29,497
What the fuck are we doing,
standing here? Get him!
174
00:12:29,580 --> 00:12:31,969

Go on, get after him!

175
00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:36,338
- Jody!
- Where do Jody's parents live, Sheila?
176
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:40,208
Wennon Street. But I think
they're still up there with the police.
177
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:44,054
The kid was gonna be three
next week. He's not even three, Steve.
178
00:12:44,140 --> 00:12:46,813
We'll get on the street and... He?
179
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:52,418
I know, it's bad enough if it's a girl, innit?
But your only son!
180
00:12:52,500 --> 00:12:55,856
- I mean, can you imagine?
- We'll hit the road to have a look.
181
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,339
Aye, good lad.
182
00:12:57,420 --> 00:13:00,059
It's a boy! Great! Get him down!
183
00:13:00,140 --> 00:13:02,096
God be with you.
184
00:13:11,380 --> 00:13:14,929
I know she's not a virgin,
cos I were there when she lost it.
185
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:19,136
Bouncer. Sean Creed.
186
00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,938
Plus...
187
00:13:24,420 --> 00:13:27,298
I were knobbing her
every Friday down school baths.

188
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,610
You were?
189
00:13:29,700 --> 00:13:31,611
God, yeah.
190
00:13:32,660 --> 00:13:34,537
Towel room.
191
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:38,894
We had to do it in the pump house.
192
00:13:38,980 --> 00:13:43,417
Took me years to work out why
the smell of bleach followed me round.
193
00:13:48,420 --> 00:13:50,809
Are we going up for a kip?
194
00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:54,452
Can't budge.
195
00:13:56,700 --> 00:13:58,736
Do you like me hair this colour?
196
00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:03,496
Suits you.
197
00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,816
Me neither. Oh...
198
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:16,138
(Applause and cheering on TV)
199
00:14:19,620 --> 00:14:21,576
Oh, well played.
200
00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:30,134
- What's the score, Kash?
- Eh? 2-1. I think.
201
00:14:30,220 --> 00:14:33,849
Give us some baccy
and a packet of razors as well, mate.

202
00:14:33,940 --> 00:14:35,737
How's the baby, then, Pete?
203
00:14:35,820 --> 00:14:40,848
Me and Claire have had 10 hours' kip in a
fortnight. I'm this close to losing my job.
204
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:42,817
(Cash register beeps)
205
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:47,810
How was it between you and Yvonne?
You know, sex and that?
206
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:52,094
- Pretty ordinary.
- No, after the first.
207
00:14:53,140 --> 00:14:55,654
Oh, right, yeah...
208
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:57,696
About a fortnight.
209
00:14:57,780 --> 00:15:03,298
Fuck all in two months, me. She won't let
me near her. I'm pulling myself stupid.
210
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:06,019
Yeah, I can imagine.
211
00:15:06,100 --> 00:15:08,739
You can see why I'm skint as well,
can't you?
212
00:15:08,820 --> 00:15:12,449
If that cat walks past me
one more time with its tail in the air,
213
00:15:12,540 --> 00:15:16,328
it's getting one up the ring,
cos I am ten wanks beyond fussy.
214
00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:18,376
Cheers, mate.
215

00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,129

- Eh, good luck!
- I'm gonna need it.
216
00:15:24,860 --> 00:15:26,976
There he is!
217
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,016
Where's the kid?
218
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,852
The kid!
219
00:15:30,940 --> 00:15:32,896
The baby's at home.
220
00:15:35,380 --> 00:15:36,938
Oi! Get off him!
221
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,329
Animals!
222
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:40,978
Come on, let's search his flat.
223
00:15:41,060 --> 00:15:43,016
Come on, let's go!
224
00:15:44,700 --> 00:15:48,136
- What's all that about?
- Fuck knows.
225
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:52,378
(Doorbell ringing)
226
00:15:52,460 --> 00:15:54,451
Kev! Door!
227
00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:57,096
(Knocking, doorbell)
228
00:15:57,180 --> 00:15:59,136
Kev!
229
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:05,698
- Oh...

- I'm desperate. 15 minutes, I promise.

230
00:16:05,780 --> 00:16:07,498
Yeah, all right.
231
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:10,492
No biscuits, Liam,
but if you help me rinse this lot off
232
00:16:10,580 --> 00:16:12,935
we can nip to the shop later. Come on!
233
00:16:18,900 --> 00:16:20,970
- (Door slams)
- (Fiona) Where is she?
234
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:24,251
Debbie!
235
00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:26,296
Debbie...
236
00:16:26,380 --> 00:16:28,336
(Toilet flushing)
237
00:16:30,780 --> 00:16:32,736
Debbie, get out here!
238
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:41,091
- Where's his clothes?
- They were covered in chocolate.
239
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:46,180
(Washing machine spinning)
240
00:16:56,660 --> 00:16:59,049
She stuck it on a boil wash.
241
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,459
Can you pass us a towel, love?
242
00:17:05,540 --> 00:17:07,496
Right. What time is it?
243
00:17:08,860 --> 00:17:11,010
Kev's back at work at six.

244
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,056
- We'll get started...
- Why?
245
00:17:16,620 --> 00:17:20,215
Who the fuck are you?
246
00:17:23,580 --> 00:17:25,616
Kev, don't!
247
00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,536
Age 3-5.
248
00:17:31,620 --> 00:17:34,214
You having a laugh? That looks massive.
249
00:17:35,820 --> 00:17:39,096
Heya. What are you looking at?
Is that for your birthday?
250
00:17:39,180 --> 00:17:40,977
- No.
- When is your birthday?
251
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,016
I'm nearly four.
252
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:47,572
Yeah. Come on, get in.
Happy birthday, mate.
253
00:17:48,620 --> 00:17:50,850
(Siren)
254
00:17:50,940 --> 00:17:53,773
We are now looking for
a three-year-old lost boy,
255
00:17:53,860 --> 00:17:55,851
with strawberry-blond hair.
256
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:58,659
- Got the wig off Suzy.
- Who's Suzy?
257

00:17:58,740 --> 00:18:01,300

Dressing Suzy. My hairdressing kit.
258
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:05,009
Blue leggings, red trunks,
trainers, and a Captain Curtis T-shirt.
259
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:07,091
- And the dress?
- World Children shop.
260
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,853
- Answering to the name of...
- Jody!
261
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:14,489
Was Jody inside or outside the gates
when you grabbed her?
262
00:18:14,580 --> 00:18:17,094
- I didn't grab her.
- And it's not her!
263
00:18:17,180 --> 00:18:20,138
I know. Inside.
264
00:18:20,220 --> 00:18:23,974
Please contact us immediately.
We need your help looking for a lost...
265
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:26,858
- How did you get him?
- I waved some chocolate buttons.
266
00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:30,137
- Who saw you?
- Nobody! We just ran.
267
00:18:30,220 --> 00:18:32,973
Legging it down the street with a baby?
268
00:18:33,060 --> 00:18:34,778
In a pram.
269
00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:37,579
- What pram?
- Liam's old one.

270
00:18:37,660 --> 00:18:40,970
- I chucked it out.
- I fixed it. For emergencies.
271
00:18:41,060 --> 00:18:45,099
- (Steve) What kind of emergencies?
- I don't know.
272
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:47,933
- What did you stick him in a dress for?
- I wanted a girl,
273
00:18:48,020 --> 00:18:50,295
but none of the girls wanted a chocolate.
274
00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,894
(Knocking on door)
275
00:18:54,620 --> 00:18:57,088
Fiona! Fiona!
276
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:03,775
Who the hell's this? We're not
bloody childminders, you know!
277
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:09,212
It's still damp,
and it still looks brand new to me.
278
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:12,178
What did I say to you last week?
279
00:19:12,260 --> 00:19:17,698
She put all our forks in the knife drawer.
She's off her fucking cake sometimes.
280
00:19:17,780 --> 00:19:21,170
- Who's screwy for letting her?
- Debbie planned this.
281
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,137
- And thanks, friend!
- Me?
282
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:26,451
I've had that kid in our house.
I'm involved now!

283
00:19:26,540 --> 00:19:29,213
(Steve) Debbie's a kid herself,
with a problem.
284
00:19:29,300 --> 00:19:31,689
The worst that can happen
is she gets help.
285
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,498
What kind of help?
286
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:37,095
She nabbed a kid, right?
If we leave it, it'll get much worse.
287
00:19:37,180 --> 00:19:41,139
- You mean grass her up?
- Lip, you said it was premeditated.
288
00:19:41,220 --> 00:19:44,735
Whoa, posh lad! I don't know what
help means where you come from,
289
00:19:44,820 --> 00:19:48,369
but they'll shred Debbie.
Screwy or not, they don't take prisoners.
290
00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:52,851
She's not screwy, and she didn't steal.
She borrowed him accidentally.
291
00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:56,694
Not if she used fucking chocolate
to get him in a pram, Veronica.
292
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:58,850
They'll torch our house!
293
00:19:58,940 --> 00:20:01,613
(Megaphone) 'We are looking for
a young boy...
294
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,134
- 'wearing blue trainers... '
- No!
295

00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:06,495

'... and a Captain Curtis T-shirt.'
296
00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,333
If Social Services find out
Dad moved in with Sheila,
297
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:11,729
they'll have a field day splitting us up.
298
00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:14,095
'You know what happened last time! '
299
00:20:17,580 --> 00:20:19,172
No!
300
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:21,979
Next suggestion on
a much bigger fucking postcard!
301
00:20:23,460 --> 00:20:27,658
Jo-o-o-o-dyyyy!
302
00:20:36,260 --> 00:20:39,650
(Door opens and slams shut)
303
00:20:39,740 --> 00:20:42,971
- I can't eat, Sheila.
- Well, you should try, sweetheart.
304
00:20:43,060 --> 00:20:45,016
Eh?
305
00:20:49,940 --> 00:20:55,936
If that kid was one of mine, I'd want that
guy's bollocks in a bag. No two ways!
306
00:20:56,020 --> 00:20:58,295
So we're too lenient with sex offenders?
307
00:20:58,380 --> 00:21:00,416
Say what you like about Saddam,
308
00:21:00,500 --> 00:21:03,651
he'd have had that twisted bastard
melted down.

309
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:08,939
Tell Tony Blair. That's how you'll get my
vote. Pasty-faced gimp! Write that down!
310
00:21:09,020 --> 00:21:13,650
Hey! She does Cherie Blair.
Do Cherie Blair for us. Do it for us, go on.
311
00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:19,736
(Screeching) I'm just
a normal wife and mother.
312
00:21:19,820 --> 00:21:22,334
She does it better than that, usually.
313
00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:27,414
- (Reporter) Frank, you're a father of six.
- Well, you'd die for your kids.
314
00:21:27,500 --> 00:21:30,253
They so much as get a temperature,
you're there!
315
00:21:30,340 --> 00:21:32,900
It's eight o'clock. Take me! Give it to me!
316
00:21:32,980 --> 00:21:36,336
So you drum it in to your children
to avoid strangers?
317
00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,856
Spot a nonce, deck him first,
go for the eyes, cripple the fuck.
318
00:21:39,940 --> 00:21:41,771
Then fine, and addle.
319
00:21:41,860 --> 00:21:43,657
Will they listen?
320
00:21:45,900 --> 00:21:49,859
- I'll try and nip back later, Frank.
- Hey... (lndistinct)
321
00:21:51,220 --> 00:21:54,132
- What's all that about?
- You missed it all.

322
00:21:54,220 --> 00:21:56,893
It's awful. Abduction.
323
00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,936
Little Jody.
324
00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:10,209
Jo-o-o-dyyyy!
325
00:22:14,060 --> 00:22:18,053
(lmitates Gollum) They've come
to take our precious...
326
00:22:18,900 --> 00:22:22,575
No, the precious is ours for all eternity.
327
00:22:23,620 --> 00:22:27,408
It's a girly precious,
not a boysy precious.
328
00:22:27,500 --> 00:22:31,334
How can that be, if he's got a penis?
329
00:22:31,420 --> 00:22:34,457
- Oh, no...
- Pack it in, you.
330
00:22:34,540 --> 00:22:38,294
- Don't need you, Carl.
- (Sniggers)
331
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:40,848
- I only wanted to cheer him up.
- Who wouldn't?
332
00:22:40,940 --> 00:22:44,012
- He needed looking after.
- Yeah, we know that.
333
00:22:44,100 --> 00:22:48,173
But if it's a bloke or a boy taking Jody
home, people think something bad.
334
00:22:48,260 --> 00:22:50,251
Not if you took him.

335
00:22:50,340 --> 00:22:54,618
We can't, cos we've already been
round there saying we know nothing.
336
00:22:54,700 --> 00:22:57,134
We'd sound like we were telling lies!
337
00:22:57,220 --> 00:23:00,098
- You were.
- Yeah, for you!
338
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:03,172
- Look, it's been three hours since...
- Three and a half!
339
00:23:03,260 --> 00:23:07,936
That's a long time, Debbie. An adult
would have phoned somebody by now.
340
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:14,096
Well, what would I have to say?
341
00:23:19,340 --> 00:23:23,379
Get on your bike. Corner of Beaker Street
and David's Lane, the phone box.
342
00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:26,497
Ring the police and say this. Exactly this.
343
00:23:26,580 --> 00:23:29,253
- 20 past four. Exactly 20 past four.
- Why should I?
344
00:23:29,340 --> 00:23:31,456
Do you want to go into
a children's home?
345
00:23:31,540 --> 00:23:34,771
The one on Crofton's got
a full-size trampoline.
346
00:23:34,860 --> 00:23:37,374
Just do it!
347
00:23:37,460 --> 00:23:40,179
- I don't own a bike.
- So go and nick one.

348
00:23:43,140 --> 00:23:45,096
Shit!
349
00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:59,453
- (Ringing tone)
- 'Emergency services.'
350
00:23:59,540 --> 00:24:02,259
'I was walking up Beaker Street... '
351
00:24:02,340 --> 00:24:05,218
- Coming from the...?
- Swimming baths.
352
00:24:05,300 --> 00:24:07,052
When I saw Jody.
353
00:24:07,140 --> 00:24:10,257
- You didn't know his name then.
- A little boy.
354
00:24:12,220 --> 00:24:14,973
- On his own.
- On his own.
355
00:24:15,060 --> 00:24:18,291
- Crying. I asked where her mum was.
- Not her.
356
00:24:18,380 --> 00:24:21,178
I asked him where his mum was,
357
00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,491
- and he didn't know.
- Good girl, that's great, Debs.
358
00:24:24,580 --> 00:24:27,936
I looked round. I couldn't see any adults.
359
00:24:28,020 --> 00:24:29,976
He was upset.
360
00:24:30,060 --> 00:24:34,133
So I gave him some chocolate,
which he liked.

361
00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:35,255
Good!
362
00:24:35,340 --> 00:24:39,538
You turned left, out of David's Lane,
heading for the park.
363
00:24:39,620 --> 00:24:42,771
- Past Beaker Street, into David's Lane.
- 'When was this? '
364
00:24:42,860 --> 00:24:45,294
"10 minutes, back when I saw him."
365
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:49,850
"10 minutes back.
When I saw him, I thought,
366
00:24:49,940 --> 00:24:53,774
- "Isn't that the kid they're looking for?"
- 'Definitely Captain Curtis? '
367
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:57,694
I didn't say Captain Curtis,
I said... cape...
368
00:24:57,780 --> 00:24:59,577
- 'Sorry, go on.'
- He was with a girl.
369
00:24:59,660 --> 00:25:01,173
- 'Can you describe her? '
370
00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:04,969
Then you went to a phone box
at Bristol Grove.
371
00:25:05,060 --> 00:25:09,690
I went to a phone box on Bristol Grove.
I thought, "I'd best phone the police."
372
00:25:09,780 --> 00:25:12,658
Or somebody. That one was vandalised.
373
00:25:15,380 --> 00:25:18,452
There's a phone box
at Beaker Street and David's Lane.

374
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:20,496
Why didn't you use that one, Debbie?
375
00:25:20,580 --> 00:25:23,219
- Cos there was someone using it.
- An adult?
376
00:25:23,300 --> 00:25:25,052
- Yeah.
- You didn't tell the adult
377
00:25:25,140 --> 00:25:27,256
that you found a child?
378
00:25:27,340 --> 00:25:30,412
He was using the phone box as a toilet,
so I didn't trust him.
379
00:25:30,500 --> 00:25:33,378
- 'So we ran.'
- 'Good.'
380
00:25:33,460 --> 00:25:36,099
So I decided to walk
towards home and tell youse.
381
00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:39,013
- So we crossed Benson Road...
- At the crossing.
382
00:25:39,100 --> 00:25:41,330
Crossed Benson Road at the pelican,
383
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:43,888
and Jody caught his cloak
on a bit of fencing,
384
00:25:43,980 --> 00:25:46,130
and it ripped.
385
00:25:46,220 --> 00:25:49,292
- Eh, wow! What do you look like now?
- A girl!
386
00:25:49,380 --> 00:25:51,530
- No, you don't.

- Lipstick.
387
00:25:51,620 --> 00:25:52,939
Not lipstick.
388
00:25:53,020 --> 00:25:55,295
- Where's your socks?
- (Giggles)
389
00:25:55,380 --> 00:25:56,335
Socks!
390
00:25:57,300 --> 00:26:02,499
Fiona will switch the kids. If anybody
asks, she's been shopping, all right?
391
00:26:02,580 --> 00:26:06,653
We're getting off. I'll see you round
Sheila's in half an hour, all right?
392
00:26:06,740 --> 00:26:09,493
Lip, can you stick the kids
in the car, please?
393
00:26:09,580 --> 00:26:11,889
- Come on, you two, quick!
- I'm coming.
394
00:26:11,980 --> 00:26:14,050
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. What's going on?
395
00:26:14,140 --> 00:26:18,452
- What will they do to her if they find her?
- Don't even think about this.
396
00:26:18,540 --> 00:26:22,818
- She's fine. She's doing great.
- She can't tell lies. She never could.
397
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:25,460
- She's not even sorry!
- Yeah, I know.
398
00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:29,413
If this all goes pear-shaped
with the authorities,
399

00:26:29,500 --> 00:26:31,252

should I say I'm living here?
400
00:26:31,340 --> 00:26:34,332
- Why?
- Less risk of the kids getting split up
401
00:26:34,420 --> 00:26:36,411
if they know two wages are coming in.
402
00:26:36,500 --> 00:26:38,570
Yeah.
403
00:26:38,660 --> 00:26:40,616
All right? Come here.
404
00:26:43,460 --> 00:26:45,416
Good luck. All right?
405
00:26:47,140 --> 00:26:50,132
- Bravo Echo, come in.
- 'Receiving, over.'
406
00:26:50,220 --> 00:26:53,610
Unconfirmed sighting, junction
Beaker Street and David's Lane.
407
00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:56,578
Captain Curtis, question mark,
could be Jody.
408
00:26:56,660 --> 00:26:59,094
Accompanied by
a young girl, question mark.
409
00:26:59,180 --> 00:27:03,059
Young girl with handbag, question mark.
Could be girl or small female.
410
00:27:03,140 --> 00:27:07,292
- Proceed to target immediately.
- 'On our way. Over.'
411
00:27:12,060 --> 00:27:13,971
Now.
412
00:27:14,060 --> 00:27:18,099

Come on. Now. Come on, Liam,

go with Debbie. Here, look, chocolate.
413
00:27:18,180 --> 00:27:20,375
Come on. Go with Debbie. Good boy.
414
00:27:22,380 --> 00:27:25,338
- Debbie, do you trust Fiona?
- Yeah.
415
00:27:25,420 --> 00:27:29,891
Do you think she trusts you? I don't
think so. She thinks you're a crap liar.
416
00:27:29,980 --> 00:27:32,414
- But do you know what I think, Debs?
- No.
417
00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:35,094
You could be a brilliant liar
if you wanted to be.
418
00:27:35,180 --> 00:27:37,410
You could be a much better liar.
419
00:27:37,500 --> 00:27:40,572
You know lawyers, doctors and nurses
and all that lot?
420
00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:41,649
(Debbie) Yeah.
421
00:27:41,740 --> 00:27:45,130
Professional liars. They tell lies
to make people's lives better.
422
00:27:45,220 --> 00:27:48,735
Your doctor wouldn't say, "Tough,
you're dying of cancer," would he?
423
00:27:48,820 --> 00:27:49,775
No.
424
00:27:49,860 --> 00:27:52,055
He'd say, "We're doing all we can."
425
00:27:52,140 --> 00:27:55,894

- Yeah.
- So, what if today you were a doctor,
426
00:27:55,980 --> 00:27:58,892
telling a doctor's kind of lie,
would you blush?
427
00:28:00,060 --> 00:28:02,210
- No.
- Right. You're a doctor.
428
00:28:02,300 --> 00:28:04,211
Can I be a nurse?
429
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:06,131
(Steve) Yeah.
430
00:28:06,220 --> 00:28:09,098
Right, be brilliant. Yeah, Debs?
431
00:28:09,180 --> 00:28:11,011
(Jody) I'll be the doctor.
432
00:28:11,100 --> 00:28:13,056
Get my jacket. Come on.
433
00:28:13,140 --> 00:28:15,210
Good luck.
434
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,372
Be a good doctor, yeah?
And I'll be a good nurse.
435
00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:29,014
- Jody!
- Jody!
436
00:28:38,100 --> 00:28:40,056
(ln distance) Jody!
437
00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:44,696
- Boo!
- Boo.
438
00:28:46,980 --> 00:28:48,936
Upsadaisy.

439
00:28:52,980 --> 00:28:57,098
Get in, Liam. In the pram!
Where are you going?
440
00:28:57,180 --> 00:28:59,933
- Don't do this to me now!
- (Liam giggles)
441
00:29:01,380 --> 00:29:03,336
Come back here, please!
442
00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:11,331
- What?
- What are you doing?
443
00:29:11,420 --> 00:29:15,129
- Bar work. I'm the barman.
- You're not due till six.
444
00:29:15,220 --> 00:29:18,610
Oh, my watch must be fast.
Well, I'm here now. Usual, Billy?
445
00:29:18,700 --> 00:29:21,214
- I'm only paying you from six!
- Yeah.
446
00:29:28,460 --> 00:29:30,416
Captain Curtis, eh?
447
00:29:31,780 --> 00:29:34,772
It's been a while
since I've seen one of them.
448
00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:40,256
Captain Curtis costume.
449
00:29:40,340 --> 00:29:42,808
Kid in a Captain Curtis costume.
450
00:29:42,900 --> 00:29:44,856
Takes you back, doesn't it?
451
00:29:49,020 --> 00:29:50,976
Child! Blond!
452

00:29:51,060 --> 00:29:55,099

About three!
In a Captain fucking Curtis costume!
453
00:29:55,180 --> 00:29:57,091
No?
454
00:29:57,180 --> 00:29:59,819
None of you?
455
00:29:59,900 --> 00:30:01,936
- Forget it!
- What did you say, Kev?
456
00:30:02,020 --> 00:30:03,976
- Forget it.
- Captain Curtis, go on.
457
00:30:04,060 --> 00:30:06,369
I was saying, what I was trying to say...
458
00:30:06,460 --> 00:30:09,099
I haven't seen
a Captain Curtis costume in years,
459
00:30:09,180 --> 00:30:13,810
and I used to have one. I just passed
a kid in one and it reminded me of me.
460
00:30:13,900 --> 00:30:16,095
- Have you told anybody?
- Yeah.
461
00:30:16,180 --> 00:30:18,375
These deaf old twats aren't interested.
462
00:30:18,460 --> 00:30:21,532
Because that's what they are.
Where did you see him?
463
00:30:21,620 --> 00:30:24,612
I just passed him on Benson Road.
464
00:30:24,700 --> 00:30:27,612
That's little Jody.
He vanished this afternoon.
465

00:30:27,700 --> 00:30:29,577

They've been searching for him.
466
00:30:29,660 --> 00:30:32,128
Which I heard nothing about.
I was at a wedding.
467
00:30:32,220 --> 00:30:35,451
- Kev, blond, about three?
- Blond, about three.
468
00:30:36,740 --> 00:30:39,413
- With a junkie?
- No, no, with a young...
469
00:30:43,780 --> 00:30:47,250
I wouldn't say "a young girl"
if it was Debbie from next door.
470
00:30:47,340 --> 00:30:49,012
What if she was wearing a hat?
471
00:30:49,100 --> 00:30:50,772
- Is she?
- 'No.'
472
00:30:50,860 --> 00:30:52,816
I'll ring you back.
473
00:30:55,140 --> 00:30:57,096
Come on!
474
00:30:58,420 --> 00:31:01,935
- (Mobile phone rings)
- Veronica?
475
00:31:02,020 --> 00:31:04,488
'Debbie needs a hat
so Kev wouldn't recognise her.'
476
00:31:04,580 --> 00:31:07,174
- But she isn't.
- 'We know that.'
477
00:31:07,260 --> 00:31:08,773
- What kind?
- 'What have you got? '

478
00:31:08,860 --> 00:31:11,772
- But she's in position.
- 'Oh, Jesus... '
479
00:31:11,860 --> 00:31:14,613
We're sorted. Baseball cap, black.
480
00:31:14,700 --> 00:31:16,656
(Mobile phone ringing)
481
00:31:17,820 --> 00:31:20,254
- Yeah.
- Kev, the police need to know
482
00:31:20,340 --> 00:31:22,900
where they're heading.
483
00:31:22,980 --> 00:31:24,732
Black baseball cap.
484
00:31:26,380 --> 00:31:28,336
Psst!
485
00:31:29,340 --> 00:31:32,173
- You're wearing this.
- Not if I'm a nurse.
486
00:31:32,260 --> 00:31:33,818
- What?
- I'm a nurse now.
487
00:31:33,900 --> 00:31:36,698
And I'm a brain surgeon.
Put the cap on.
488
00:31:36,780 --> 00:31:38,736
Oi!
489
00:31:40,380 --> 00:31:43,133
All right, yeah. Good boy.
490
00:31:44,220 --> 00:31:46,290
- Where's your cape?
- I don't know.
491
00:31:46,380 --> 00:31:49,850

Yeah. Yeah. Hang on.

That's Benson Road?
492
00:31:49,940 --> 00:31:51,896
Heading in which direction?
493
00:31:54,820 --> 00:31:56,776
They've not found him?
494
00:31:56,860 --> 00:31:59,852
I can't stop thinking what his parents
are going through.
495
00:31:59,940 --> 00:32:02,579
Oh, I know.
496
00:32:02,660 --> 00:32:05,970
Would you like a drink, Fiona?
I've got no mixers left.
497
00:32:06,060 --> 00:32:10,690
Oh, uh... A cup of tea
would be great, thanks, Sheila.
498
00:32:10,780 --> 00:32:13,931
You sit down. You look worn out.
499
00:32:14,020 --> 00:32:19,936
Just ignore me. Clock stopped at two,
so I took double medication by accident.
500
00:32:20,020 --> 00:32:21,976
Hi, sweetheart!
501
00:32:22,060 --> 00:32:25,132
Come here.
Give us a cuddle, for a chocolate finger.
502
00:32:25,220 --> 00:32:28,132
- I'll stick the kettle on.
- Aren't you getting chubby?
503
00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:30,176
I can hardly lift you.
504
00:32:32,180 --> 00:32:34,136
(Phone ringing)

505
00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:36,654
Can you stay on the line, please, sir?
506
00:32:36,740 --> 00:32:39,049
(Kev) 'I've got customers to serve.'
507
00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:41,096
Just hold the line, please.
508
00:32:41,180 --> 00:32:44,490
This is promising.
Not random, definite pattern to it.
509
00:32:44,580 --> 00:32:46,536
Here, 16:10, here, 16:30.
510
00:32:47,620 --> 00:32:50,692
- Makes it on foot?
- Yeah, right.
511
00:32:54,060 --> 00:32:55,891
Tango Four, current location?
512
00:32:55,980 --> 00:32:59,655
We're at Ridgeway Road,
waiting on Unit 15. Nothing as yet, sarge.
513
00:32:59,740 --> 00:33:02,538
'You want Benson Road,
towards Chatsworth Estate.'
514
00:33:02,620 --> 00:33:05,578
Second possible sighting,
so shift yourselves.
515
00:33:05,660 --> 00:33:07,491
'RAU.'
- What?
516
00:33:07,580 --> 00:33:09,810
- (Siren)
- Received and understood.
517
00:33:09,900 --> 00:33:12,289
So say, "Received and understood."

518
00:33:12,380 --> 00:33:15,895
Yeah, but that's seven syllables
and we're in a rush, so RAU.
519
00:33:18,580 --> 00:33:22,289
If it's nonces we're after,
we should nail that creepy shit!
520
00:33:22,380 --> 00:33:24,132
Have you seen his locker? S Club 8!
521
00:33:24,220 --> 00:33:26,450
(Siren)
522
00:33:26,540 --> 00:33:29,657
- Peekaboo. Peekaboo.
- Peekaboo.
523
00:33:29,740 --> 00:33:31,139
Peekaboo!
524
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:33,654
- Aaaargh!
- What?
525
00:33:33,740 --> 00:33:36,857
Hey! Lads have kicked
a confession out of Ice Cream Alec.
526
00:33:36,940 --> 00:33:39,249
He admits
to dipping his knob in the tubs.
527
00:33:39,340 --> 00:33:41,171
What? He took little Jody?
528
00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:43,455
We don't know
till he comes out of theatre.
529
00:33:48,740 --> 00:33:50,696
(Police siren)
530
00:34:07,820 --> 00:34:11,972
- I don't know.
- I can't be a nurse. I don't feel like one.

531
00:34:12,060 --> 00:34:14,779
Without a dress on,
how can I feel like a nurse?
532
00:34:38,980 --> 00:34:40,936
- (Cheering)
- Jody!
533
00:34:41,020 --> 00:34:42,976
(Cheering)
534
00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:53,096
(Sirens)
535
00:35:05,260 --> 00:35:09,538
Where the hell have you been?
We've been worried sick about you.
536
00:35:11,140 --> 00:35:13,734
- Where did you find him?
- He was on his own.
537
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:15,890
He didn't know where he lived.
538
00:35:15,980 --> 00:35:17,777
Thank you...
539
00:35:17,860 --> 00:35:22,570
What did I say? We'll find him for you!
540
00:35:22,660 --> 00:35:24,616
Little Debbie!
541
00:35:24,700 --> 00:35:27,009
Little Jody!
542
00:35:27,100 --> 00:35:28,852
Ra! Hoo-hah!
543
00:35:43,220 --> 00:35:45,176
(Cheering)
544
00:35:52,860 --> 00:35:55,852
Hi, Debbie.
Can we take you somewhere quiet?

545
00:35:55,940 --> 00:35:57,896
- What for?
- To take a statement.
546
00:35:57,980 --> 00:36:00,858
- But she found him.
- I know. We need to take a statement.
547
00:36:00,940 --> 00:36:02,692
You can stay with her.
548
00:36:02,780 --> 00:36:04,577
It's OK. I'll be fine.
549
00:36:04,660 --> 00:36:09,734
- She probably wants you with her.
- Yeah, course she will. Come on, Debs.
550
00:36:09,820 --> 00:36:11,697
We'll pick it up later.
551
00:36:12,820 --> 00:36:15,334
- Uh-uh! It's Debbie's.
- I know!
552
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:18,617
- Just so you do.
- Get it now before it all...
553
00:36:18,700 --> 00:36:20,577
Watch it! It's blowing away.
554
00:36:20,660 --> 00:36:23,936
Oh, fuck! Does it look like that scene
in Gone With The Wind?
555
00:36:29,220 --> 00:36:31,176
Karen!
556
00:36:32,220 --> 00:36:34,688
- Did your mum pass that message on?
- About?
557
00:36:34,780 --> 00:36:36,975
I rang to see
if you fancied a quick jump.

558
00:36:37,060 --> 00:36:39,176
- You said that to me mum?
- Joke!
559
00:36:39,260 --> 00:36:43,697
Knowing her, she'd go,
"Hang on, I'll just see if she's ready."
560
00:36:43,780 --> 00:36:47,898
- Aw... You two had a barney?
- Chance would be a fine thing!
561
00:36:47,980 --> 00:36:52,690
A new bloke walks into her life, and
suddenly it's, "Karen? Who's Karen?"
562
00:36:52,780 --> 00:36:56,659
You are the only person I know who's
referred to me dad as a "new bloke".
563
00:36:56,740 --> 00:37:01,052
Buddhists say we all get reincarnated
till we've been, done, and seen it all.
564
00:37:01,140 --> 00:37:05,258
Dad reckons he's way up that ladder.
To hear him, you can't teach him a thing.
565
00:37:05,340 --> 00:37:09,538
It's never occurred to him that
he might just be thick as pig shit.
566
00:37:09,620 --> 00:37:12,373
If you want rid of him,
just mention full-time work.
567
00:37:12,460 --> 00:37:14,894
It's not your dad that's the problem.
568
00:37:14,980 --> 00:37:16,618
That's a new one.
569
00:37:16,700 --> 00:37:19,498
- I might nip round later.
- Oi!
570

00:37:19,580 --> 00:37:21,536

Oi!
571
00:37:39,540 --> 00:37:41,496
(lnaudible)
572
00:37:48,140 --> 00:37:50,700
(lnaudible)
573
00:37:52,740 --> 00:37:53,889
(Siren)
574
00:37:53,980 --> 00:37:57,256
Look, they gave me this,
and a book token.
575
00:37:57,340 --> 00:37:59,296
Let's have a look.
576
00:37:59,380 --> 00:38:01,735
- Golden Citizen Award.
- Wow!
577
00:38:01,820 --> 00:38:03,776
And this, look...
578
00:38:03,860 --> 00:38:06,579
- Ooh, a tenner.
- 10.
579
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:08,651
Blimey, Debs.
580
00:38:09,620 --> 00:38:11,133
(# Countdown theme on TV)
581
00:38:37,980 --> 00:38:39,936
(Door opens)
582
00:38:41,380 --> 00:38:46,170
- Just doing a coffee if you fancy one.
- I don't drink coffee.
583
00:38:54,820 --> 00:38:57,334
- Been a bit worried about you.
- Me?

584
00:38:57,420 --> 00:39:00,218
Yeah, with all that business yesterday...
585
00:39:01,100 --> 00:39:03,216
Creeps on the loose.
586
00:39:07,140 --> 00:39:10,291
- You've gone a bit quiet.
- I am quiet.
587
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:12,052
Where's Mum?
588
00:39:12,140 --> 00:39:17,214
She's having a kip.
No, it's just that girls like you...
589
00:39:17,300 --> 00:39:20,815
getting the eye from all sorts.
You need to...
590
00:39:21,900 --> 00:39:23,492
Iook after yourself.
591
00:39:23,580 --> 00:39:25,616
I know how to look after myself.
592
00:39:25,700 --> 00:39:27,656
Whoa, whoa...
593
00:39:27,860 --> 00:39:31,489
Cos now, eh, you're a young lass.
594
00:39:31,580 --> 00:39:34,094
Very young. And that's dodgy.
595
00:39:34,180 --> 00:39:36,136
Very dodgy.
596
00:39:36,220 --> 00:39:41,374
All this could go down a long...
597
00:39:41,460 --> 00:39:43,416
wrong...
598

00:39:43,500 --> 00:39:45,297

big...
599
00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:48,133
bad... road.
600
00:39:50,500 --> 00:39:52,411
I am a bit dodgy.
601
00:39:52,500 --> 00:39:54,456
And so are you,
602
00:39:54,540 --> 00:39:56,974
or you wouldn't still be whispering.
603
00:39:59,740 --> 00:40:01,696
Oof! Oof!
604
00:40:07,340 --> 00:40:10,013
(# Countdown closing theme on TV)
605
00:40:13,380 --> 00:40:16,372
She invented tons of stuff
we hadn't fed her.
606
00:40:17,140 --> 00:40:21,691
The more she lied, the more she smiled,
the faster she talked.
607
00:40:23,740 --> 00:40:26,334
I'm sticking a lock on our bedroom door.
608
00:40:26,420 --> 00:40:28,376
(Chuckling)
609
00:40:37,820 --> 00:40:41,130
It won't save you from a fire
if she takes up arson.
610
00:40:53,220 --> 00:40:55,176
(Debbie laughing)
611
00:40:57,220 --> 00:41:01,771
...75, 80, 85,
612
00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:05,694

90, 95, 100.

613
00:41:06,740 --> 00:41:10,369
105, 10,
614
00:41:10,460 --> 00:41:15,773
15, 20, 25...
615
00:41:15,860 --> 00:41:20,172
(TV) '... sash windows. The main problem
with sash windows is, you'll find,
616
00:41:20,260 --> 00:41:24,856
'is the rotten sill. Whether
it's wet rot, dry rot, it's basically... '
617
00:41:27,140 --> 00:41:29,779
Sit down, love.
I think he's in the bathroom.
618
00:41:29,860 --> 00:41:33,011
- Frank!
- Bathroom!
619
00:41:33,100 --> 00:41:35,660
- Turn the fire down if it's too hot.
- Fine.
620
00:41:35,740 --> 00:41:38,573
- Tea or coffee, love?
- I'm fine, thank you.
621
00:41:38,660 --> 00:41:40,651
Who did you say you are, again?
622
00:41:40,740 --> 00:41:43,971
- I'm Steve. I'm Fiona's bloke.
- That's right.
623
00:41:44,060 --> 00:41:46,528
Who's Fiona?
624
00:41:47,660 --> 00:41:49,616
Frank's daughter.
625
00:41:49,700 --> 00:41:53,613
(Chuckles) I'll tell you how it is.

She's just woken up.

626
00:41:56,380 --> 00:41:58,974
(Sheila laughs hysterically)
627
00:41:59,060 --> 00:42:00,891
Come again?
628
00:42:00,980 --> 00:42:05,576
Fiona doesn't know
whether you're coming or going, right?
629
00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:08,254
I mean, can we use your room,
630
00:42:08,340 --> 00:42:11,730
or are you planning
on coming back to Winter Gardens?
631
00:42:15,180 --> 00:42:17,375
You must be fucking joking!
632
00:42:20,860 --> 00:42:22,339
Right.
633
00:43:08,980 --> 00:43:10,936
What are you wearing?
634
00:43:11,020 --> 00:43:13,739
I've been to Rebecca's party.
635
00:43:38,100 --> 00:43:40,056
(Laughter)
636
00:43:42,660 --> 00:43:44,616
Is this for me?
637
00:43:59,300 --> 00:44:04,135
(Steve) 'People with good imaginations
get bored when nothing much happens.
638
00:44:04,220 --> 00:44:08,611
'One school of thought says tackle the
problem at source, treat the sickness.
639
00:44:08,700 --> 00:44:11,498

'Round here,
therapy was an unfamiliar word.
640
00:44:11,580 --> 00:44:15,129
'Blackmail and bribery
were tried and tested techniques.
641
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,415
'Debbie's compulsion scared us to death.
642
00:44:17,500 --> 00:44:21,812
'So, when she took the most vulnerable
member of the family to her bosom,
643
00:44:21,900 --> 00:44:23,697
'we were thrilled.'
644
00:44:23,780 --> 00:44:25,736
Hooray!
645
00:44:27,140 --> 00:44:30,132
- Eh, what are you going to call it?
- (Laughter)
646
00:44:30,220 --> 00:44:32,176
(lndistinct chatter)
647
00:44:39,980 --> 00:44:43,609
I can't find the sugar. Lip, have you put
the sugar in the teapot again?
648
00:44:43,700 --> 00:44:45,099
- No.
- You have!
649
00:44:45,180 --> 00:44:47,136
- I haven't.
- You have! Look!
650
00:44:48,220 --> 00:44:50,176
Don't do that, Liam!
651
00:44:50,300 --> 00:44:52,530
Don't!
652
00:44:52,620 --> 00:44:55,054
Liam!

653
00:45:11,740 --> 00:45:14,618
Debbie, you should be ready for school.
654
00:45:14,700 --> 00:45:16,656
I can't go to school.
655
00:45:18,300 --> 00:45:22,771
- Why not?
- I was up half the night with diarrhoea.
656
00:45:24,220 --> 00:45:27,337
(Doll screaming)
657
00:45:27,420 --> 00:45:32,050
'Lf you think that was bad, there was
also three weeks off with measles.'
658
00:45:32,140 --> 00:45:37,055
- Tell her teacher she's got the flu.
- (Doll screaming)
659
00:45:38,100 --> 00:45:40,056
It's too near the dogs. Ooh!
660
00:45:40,140 --> 00:45:41,778
My shopping didn't go very well.
661
00:45:41,860 --> 00:45:43,691
This has got to be a wind-up.
662
00:45:43,780 --> 00:45:47,136
If you don't turn up at school,
a teacher will come for you.
663
00:45:47,220 --> 00:45:51,771
All you have to do is turn up and smile,
then I'm sweet for sixth form.
664
00:45:51,860 --> 00:45:54,215
'I've just told me own kids to go swivel.'
665
00:45:54,300 --> 00:45:56,814
Come tonight, Frank.
666
00:45:57,900 --> 00:45:59,777

(Frank) 'The way they grow up now.'

667
00:45:59,860 --> 00:46:01,293
Is there somebody else?
668
00:46:01,380 --> 00:46:03,689
(Steve) How long
have you been fucking Karen?
669
00:46:03,780 --> 00:46:05,372
Who do you reckon it is, Lip?
670
00:46:05,460 --> 00:46:07,769
You call time on it, or I blow the whistle.
671
00:46:07,860 --> 00:46:09,612
You animal!
672
00:46:09,700 --> 00:46:11,099
I'm gonna fucking...
673
00:46:50,300 --> 00:46:53,690
# Sunshine girl,
I'm looking down your blouse
674
00:46:53,780 --> 00:46:55,498
# I see two mountains
675
00:46:55,580 --> 00:46:57,138
# I wonder what they are
676
00:46:57,220 --> 00:47:00,212
# Won't you invite me
to squeeze them tightly?
677
00:47:00,300 --> 00:47:03,098
# Not bloody likely! You're such a girl! #
678
00:47:03,180 --> 00:47:05,375
(Laughter)