[Allow me to point out something that bothered me throughout writing this dumb thing: When I say something should

be higher on the list, thats bad I think the song is worse than the list dictates. Im complimenting a song when I
say it should be lower (i.e. a song that is 160 should be lower, as in closer to 40).]

Foremost, there are a few fundamental problems right off the bat:
"C'mon Let Me Ride" is a fun song -- and for that, it certainly serves its purpose. The production is solid, the hook is
infectious, and Eminem's verse does its job: It entertains. Further, this is more-or-less a statement on the quality of
Eminem on the song (that is, why nix a song on which Eminem is fine just because the reviewer harbors some
disillusioned grudge against Skylar Grey?). To say it's anywhere near "Fack" is ridiculous. To anyone with a modicum
of intelligence, Fack is the musical equivalent of a coat hanger-aided abortion.
This extends to Here Comes the Weekend. Are the purveyors of this list drunk? Ems flow, rhyme schemes, and
delivery are all baby butt smooth on the track. Its not amazing as a song, but its middle-of-the-pack as far as
Eminem tracks go.

This is going to be long.

Desperation is borderline impeccable as far as Eminems skill on a track goes. His schemes are dizzying, hes
STILL finding new ways to rhyme at 42 years of age thats unheard of. He switches his flow so many times during
the course of the track, its difficult to keep up. In fact, taken as a complete product, MMLP2 demonstrates a rapper at
his technical prime your favorite rapper wishes he could write like this. Desperation is arguably kinda weak as far
as topicality, but thats the only real knock.
It Has Been Said, too, is a strong song. Eminem sounds hungry on the track, which is always a positive as a
listening experience; you want the artist to sound like he wants to be there like he/she has something to prove. And
as a Biggie tribute, its a solid track.

A huge gripe is the addition of I Need a Doctor so far down. 279? You think there are 278 songs better than I Need
a Doctor? Really? Inclusions like this lead me to believe that this list was compiled by a horde of neck-bearded
hipsters huddled around a box of fedoras. LAWL HE SED DRE IM CRYING IN DIS BOOF!!11!1 DIS IZ TRASH!!
Pretentious tools who have no business discussing Hip-Hop dog on this song forlegitimately no reason. Boi-1da
brings solid production, and Eminem and Dre both bring solid verses; it really shows the dynamic between the two
artists. Were used to seeing the twosome bringing violence or comedy to a song, so its good to know theres a
strong bond underneath the humor and goofy characters the two often present.

Insane is a song about Eminem getting raped by his stepfather. I get it. But 50 Cent said it best: Em is the only cat
who can rap about getting raped and make you go, What the fuck? Is he getting raped?! Rewind that that was hot.
Again, weve a case of snobs nagging on a song because of its lowbrow subject matter, rather than just enjoying the
novelty of the track as a whole. This is Slim Shady in a nutshell: saying ridiculous off-the-wall things, but in a fashion
that is unmatched by anyone else.

Our House at 271 is a crime against humanity. Each member of Slaughterhouse goes off in a special way (even
Budden, whose verse was cut from the final version) this is a posse cut done absolutely right. The restrained
energy in the production does absolute wonders to create a feeling of ready-to-gnaw-your-face-off-in-an-instant.
Theres literally nothing wrong with this song. At all. Great track.

People will disagree with me up-and-down for this, but putting Stronger Than I Was at 269 is just flat-out asinine.
Stupid. Dumb. This is essentially MMLP2s Hailies Songbut slightly better, in my eyes. The only thing about the
track that is garbage is the UUAUAAHAHAHH in the chorus. But when everything else is as smooth as it is, that can
be overlooked. Purportedly, the song is from the POV of Kim. If so, what an interesting turn: Eminem, known long for
attacking and berating his twice-exed wife, letting her story be told. We as Eminem fans are historically only privy to
his side of things, so its again refreshing to catch a new dynamic on the matter. And the verse? DAT VERSE. Its
great. A slick flow, great lyrics, great subject matter. Neckbeards just hate this song because Eminem is singing and
is soft. We live in a time where fans get morbidly ass-hurt when their favorite artist doesnt do what is routinely
expected of him/her. Its silly. Showing the gall to showcase variety is heavily frowned-upon. Especially when it
involves a man coming off as soft. Shame.

Alright, lemme just say this: No song from MMLP2 belongs in the bottom 50 of such a list. Every song on the album is
better than at least 98% of Encore. At least. Asshole is probably the weakest, but Beautiful Pain? Again, see my
previous paragraph. Eminem cant often showcase a lighter side (or pain) without being docked points for violating
imaginary parameters. The only thing wrong with this song is the inclusion of mother-freakin , which shouldnt be on
any song. Ever. Aside from that, the track is middle-of-the-pack at worst on the album.

How some of these songs can justifiably be beaten out by Puke is beyond me. Puke is a butt-hurt drug addict
clinging to old subject matter and attacking his ex over crap production with crap lyrics. Its a sloppily-done song that
deserves to be near the bottom 10 or so.

Hell: The Sequel is known for being a sort of return to form for Eminem technically-speaking, as Recovery was seen
to be lacking as far as sheer skill. And on said album, Above the Law carries Eminems most impressive verse. For
all the neckbearding about Eminem yelling during this period, this track showcased what him literally yelling a verse
sounded like. And it was used to great effect. This should be lower, seeing as how as aforementioned its the
strongest verse on an album that, until now, only had one representative prior to this track on the list.

No song with the line Tell Lady Gaga she could quit her job at the post office, shes still a mail (male) lady deserves
to be 248. Again, off the H:TS album, that was probably hailed as the hottest line on the whole cut. And Eminem
brings a delivery that is very much different from everything else he was doing at the time. We want more of this!
was the invariable response to this song.


In terms of Eminem albums that get too much hate, Recovery tops the list (not a great album, but certainly not
the trash fest some folks tout it as being). And personally, I found arguably the strongest track to be
Space Bound. Maybe its because I can personally relate to some of the subject matter (Ive not yet
choked a girl to death, though working on it), but the song is a brilliant track through-and-through. Id
go so far as to say its a top 30 or so Eminem track. But again, because some of the material could be
considered soft, people knock it. Pitiful, because it really is a great song pertaining to the human
heart.

Low, get Dre on the phone quick: Tell him Em just killed me on my own shit
The Games 2005 effort The Documentary is one of my favorite albums ever; front-to-back, there isnt a
skippable song. And We Aint is a thoroughly great track, showing some surprisingly strong chemistry
between Game and Em. And when Game touts on his own track that Em killed him, putting said track at
238 seems silly.

Where Im At is another song I enjoy because its relatable in the exact same way that Space Bound
is. Its 36 bars of fire, with Eminem talking about heartbreak from his perspective. Its about someone
hurting you, but sticking to your guns and letting your success be the best revenge in the matter. But of
course, whenever Eminem decides to speak what can be construed as positivity, he gets laughed at by
basement-dwellers. Great song, and Lloyd Banks supplies some great lines of his own.

Some of the best punchlines on Recovery (I know, I know thats not saying a whole lot) can be found
on Almost Famous, and boy are they great. The David Carradine bar is probably the best bit on the
whole album. This is probably top 5 on the album, so how its so far down is simply baffling. OH. Says
right in the text: They write it off because Eminem uses the phrase giant scrotum. Neck. Beard.

Eminem has never really made an actual love song. Except for 1996s Infinite. Eminem has admitted
repeatedly that the album was sort of a facsimile of his favorite artists, but that doesnt mean theyre
bad songs. Not at all. But heres a sentence that fedora-wearing fiends cant stand: This Eminem song is
very sweet. It is, for sure. Eminem was a 24-year-old rapping about love one can feasibly expect it to
be a little sappy. But a little sap isnt bad at all. The track should be appreciated for showing a side of Em
that weve not seen since.

The recently-released Guts Over Fear is, if nothing else, one of the most important songs Eminem has
released in the past 10 years. But thats just it: It IS something else. Its a pretty damn good track. The
first verse is okay, but the second verse hits to a great extent. Its an exceptional song altogether, but
the second verse is excellent for about a dozen ways. It needs to be lower.

A peculiar thing hipsters do is carry a deep-seated hatred toward Love the Way You Lie a track that
is, to me, top 50 songs by Eminem. Who gives a camels ass if it has Rihanna? I get it: Its cool and hip to
hate on pop artists. I really do get it. But some people just dont get how important this song is/was.
Yeah, it was played to death on the radio. Blah blah blah. A song about domestic abuse? Who else has
done this? Very few cats have let alone ones with such a perceived misogynistic past as Eminem. The
lyrics arent Eminems most technically pleasing, but theyre anything but drab. You dont need to
rhyme your dick off to drive home a point. And with simple lyrics, great subject matter, and a powerful
music video, Eminem drove home that point. Of all the songs Em/Rih have done to this point, this is still
the best. Dont let the commercialization of it fool you. Its hot.

Psycho is probably the second-best Em/50 collaboration (Patiently Waiting is untouchable). This
showcases the best chemistry between the two artists, as they literally trade bars and finish one
anothers lines at times. And this is probably the best that Fiddy has done on a track with Eminem; he
keeps up. Which is a feat, because Em is no slouch on the cut. This track isnt absolutely incredible, but it
probably deserves to be about 50 spots lower.

[Ive noticed that were about 80 songs in, and Ive yet to see a track from any of Eminems first three
major releases. Anyone with sense could surmise that this would be the case, but thats just revisionist
gerrymandering: The first three albums, while great, are NOT without clunkers. Im interested to see
when the first will appear.]

I have major problems with 205 and 206.
Headlights is a great song in every single aspect (ZOMG NATE REUSS THO LAWL shut the fuck up),
no matter which way you slice it. Again: This is an incredibly important song. This (and Stronger Than I
Was) shows Eminem at his most mature weve ever seen. As a stubborn man, I know how much it takes
to swallow your pride and admit your faults and past instances of immaturity. This song hits home and
hits hard. Feelz, man. Feelz.
Nothing on Devils Night should be outside of the top 100 when were discussing Eminems efforts. If
you want to single out an exact moment when Eminem was at his widely-perceived prime, it was during
this time. And this (Revelation) is probably one of the top two songs on the album. So why its number
205 is ri-goshdamn-diculous. Period.

Groundhog Day is probably one of the most lyrically impressive songs Eminem has released in his
career: He absolutely attacks the beat like a savage, bringing multi-syllabic rhymes, punchlines, flows,
and schemes that would make Rakim shake his head in disbelief. Eminem 12 years ago didnt have the
vocabulary of contemporary Eminem. He has that lexicon, and he uses it here to its full extent. This
should be MUCH lower.

For reasons unknown to most of mankind, 25 to Life is 194. One hundred ninety-four. The best song on
Recovery, and theyve placed in one hundred ninety-fourth. Vicious, to-the-point, motivational, with a
clever twist at the end that would make Common smile. This is top 25 Eminem.

At 191, we finally have the first instance of a song from his Holy Trinity of albums. Cum on Everybody is
pretty crap, and certainly deserves to be up way higher in the upper-200s. But people jerk-off to Ems
first three albums and hold them up as largely untouchable. No.

When I picked up the Tupac Resurrection soundtrack after seeing the documentary, two songs gained
constant rotation one of the two being One Day at a Time. Every single person on the track goes
hard, and the production is absolutely killer (Em certainly did much better on this than on the dismal
Loyal to the Game). All the ingredients needed in order to warrant a much lower spot on the list.

As far as Relapse goes, Im largely a fan. But Old Times Sake sucks the balls out of my sack the song
is horrible in just about every facet. The production is wonky, the verses are forgettable, and the accent
is absolutely grating for one line in particular. When Eminem says the word temperatures, I want to go
back in time and abort myself so Id never have to grow up and hear this song. This is bottom-10
Eminem songs in my eyes. Too forced, too horrible, too weak of an effort on every single level.

And yet, the contributors of Spin still only have it one spot away from the great Dont Push Me.
Decisions like this make me want to take up drinking and start questioning my existence. Lloyd and Em
both destroy this tracks soul, point blank period. It should be dozens of spots lower. This is a NICE track.

To about three people is We Made You better than 117 Eminem songs. Hitler, Mussolini, and
someone at Spin. In the world of try hard, this song holds the throne. The Joseph Kahn-directed video
is hilarious, sure, but Ill always remember 16-year-old me convincing myself that this was a great song.
It wasnt. It isnt. Its not completely horrible, but its not better than about 85% of the songs below it on
this list.

Smack That is crap. Im trying to not really point out ones that should be higher on this list, but on
some (like this) I cant help but interject. Eminem is clearly high out of his mind on this song, but it was
enjoyed at the time because Eminem was largely a ghost at the point. But that doesnt change the fact
that the song as a complete package is 97% Taco Bell squirts.

Welcome to Hell is probably Em at his best on the H:TS album outside of Above the Law. Its one of
the best openings to an Em/affiliate album. Its absolutely disgusting, and Em and Royce both come out
of the gate with hunger and vengeance. This really set the stage extraordinarily well for what to expect
from the album: lyrics, flows, and chemistry. Great track. Should be sizably lower.

Another dumb track that is inexplicably low on the list is Just Lose It. Even since I turned 13, I havent
listened to Just Lose It any further. That can also largely hold true for most of Encore, but this is one of
the main reasons. This is drugged-out Eminem in a bad, bad way. One of the worst 20 or so Eminem
songs.

Love Game is so goodIm actually going to play it right now. Good. Now, prior to this tracks release,
the idea of Kendrick and Em on a song together didnt make a whole lot of sense from an outsiders
perspective despite both being incredibly dope, theyre still two very different artists. But people still
were hyped for the prospect. This was going to be an all-out assault for Hip-Hop heads. Vicious. Serious.
Right? Wrong. Zero people expected what Love Game eventually turned out to be. But to me, it was
better. This was two of the top dogs in rap having fun. Fun. Where has this been in rap music? And not
only is it fun, but both dudes spaz on the track. Ems second verseOh Lawd. Lyrical, smooth, technical
fun. Should be quite a bit lower.

I mentioned Devils Night earlier. Well, on that album, Eminems best verse is arguably on the titular
track. The flow he exerts here is so entirely smooth and loose, and everything he says, he says with
conviction. This is hunger pure, unadulterated hunger. 148 is a confusing placement.

One Shot 2 Shot is a fun song. But dont get it twisted: Its not a very good song. For the most part,
D12 World presents Eminem at his most pedestrian in terms of rapping. He may sound crazy on some of
the tracks, but he usually wasnt actually saying anything of merit or worthy of praise. Its decent as far
as the album is concerned, but its very bland and its placement lower than some of these incredible is
sort of baffling to me.

2006s Eminem Presents: The Re-Up is composed of Shady Records artists, along with an Eminem trying
desperately to force shades of his former self. Most tracks arent bad, per se, but some sort of spark is
missing. Not the case for No Apologies, though, which is incredible. Of course, the first two verses
were from unreleased tracks and freestyles, but he still delivers them well and the slightly lesser third
verse is still very solid. All told, it was easily the best track on the album. So a spot in the 130s is
questionable.

Despite being a fan of Recovery, one song on the album is a screwdriver into my eardrum: So Bad.
Such a fitting title, Ive always thought, as its just not pleasant to my ears. Like Old Times Sake, the
production is equally wonky and sounds fresh out of a Banjo-Kazooie release. Em is trying to replicate
his older sound amid the more mature-sounding, well, rest of Recovery, but it just falls short. Some
people swear by this songI swear to the Heavens when I hear this audible AIDS train. So it being 159
spots lower than, well, the 150 songs above it is a WEE bit generous, methinks.

To most people with ears, 2004s Encore is Eminems weakest effort by far. About three songs from it
belong in the top 150 of Eminem songs. Evil Deeds is not one of them. Its one of the better songs on
the album, but thats not saying much actually, its not saying anything. Its painfully bland, bereft of
anything at all that makes a standout track. So why its approaching the top 100? I have no idea.

Im just going to put this out there: Legacy is one of the five most lyrically-impressive songs Eminem
has ever penned. Here, we have a track that tells a completely coherent and intelligible story over the
course of three verses. Oh, and those three verses also follow the same rhyme scheme all throughout. I
earlier mentioned Ems daunting vocabulary these days, and songs like this and Groundhog Day show
that off with pizzazz and authority. I dont care if the girl on the hook killed your family this is one of
Eminems best songs. Period. Case closed. You simply cannot argue with the skill, the delivery, and every
technique employed in this song. And putting it 101 is so utterly and patently absurd, I cant even
ponder what these contributors mustve been smoking. Helen Keller in her current state would be
impressed by Legacy.

A basic, cookie-cutter Slim Shady effort like Stir Crazy is inexcusably placed among the top 100
Eminem songs. Look: Clearly Im a huge Eminem fan, but there comes a point where you have to admit
that not everything he made prior to 2004 was perfect. It wasnt. Too many of his verses suffered from
the same damn thing people hate Underground (off of Relapse) for he wasnt saying anything. It
sounded super awesome, but there was no real substance. A lot of SSLP had verses like this, and a few
on the first MMLP, too. He didnt have too many substance-laced tracks until The Eminem Show.

The opening track to MMLP2, Bad Guy is the only true sequel track on the album that can be
connected to a song on the first album serving as the successor to Stan. The story is well-done and
pretty amusing, but the last verse? Holy mother of Jeebus, Dat. Last. Verse. That verse is better than any
verse on either of the songs in the Stan series. Aggressive, lyrically crazy, substance-filled, awesome
deliveryits perfect. Its a perfect verse. Bad Guy is a top 20 Eminem song.

Similarly, Dont Front is a ridiculously slick track. The production is reminiscent of a DJ Premier effort,
which is something in itself that Em fans have been teased with for years. Over a nice bed of Golden Age
90s production, Eminem spits dizzying rhymes that come out smooth as silk. This is unlike anything Em
has probably done simply for the production alone, and thats a great thing. This is top 40 Eminem, not
86.

Fight Music is one of the most brilliant tracks with Eminem in existence. Everyone in D12 does his
thing on the track, but Eminem absolutely chews up and spits out the beat he absolutely dismantles
everything in his wake with his verse. This is Prime Eminem, if you want to debate such a being. I try to
not use literally, because Im not a 16-year-old girl, but there is literally nothing wrong with this track.
This is top 20 for sure, and probably top 10 Eminem verses.

Cinderella Man is an okay enough Eminem song. But thats just it: Nothing okay should be top 80 in
any feasible way, shape, or form. Its a carbon copy of Til I Collapse (just listen to that beat), but not
nearly as memorable or hard-hitting. Again, its a decent song, but it should be about a hundred spots
higher.

Its silly that the contributor of the daft description of Seduction compares it to Commons I Used to
Love H.E.R. when the song on Recovery that is legitimately and clearly an homage to that song is 25 to
Life. And its a better song. Again, Seduction is fun and smooth, but its not better than 25 to Life,
as it simply sounds too forced at times. 70 spots or so higher, thats about where this song should lie on
this list.

At spot 60 (keep in mind that this means there are 59 songs better than this) lies Rabbit Run a song
that should be top 20 for sure. This is another track where there isnt a single thing to complain about:
Its Eminem at his best, rhyming chorus-less for a few minutes. It simultaneously gets you angry,
focused, and hype. For some of these selections, I feel like a hat was filled with slips of paper befitted
with titles, then pulled out to compile this list.

I previously noted how early Em verses had no real substance Im Shady has several of these verses.
That doesnt mean its a bad song at all, just that its filled with interchangeable verses and subjects.
Again, not bad, but 53? It seems like, from here onward, we should be focusing on songs that are both
lyrically and fundamentally sound. But instead, we just have people jerking off to old school Eminem just
by virtue of it being old school Eminem.

Perhaps the most baffling inclusion so far is Crack a Bottle at 48. Seriously. Probably the second- or
third-worst song on Relapse, yet here it is in the top 50. You have to have about 97 chromosomes and
parents who double as siblings to try and justify this spot. No one on this song sounds focused, no one
says anything of note, and its just a boring, bland song. This is one of the worst 20 Eminem songs not
anywhere near the top 50. This selection makes about as much sense as racism and Bob Dylan lyrics.
This selection just made me pro-choice.

Sing for the Moment is one of the top things Eminem has ever done. Easily and, I thought, without
argument. But nope, here it is at 33. For every white kid whos ever listened to Eminem (thats all of
them), this song strikes a chord. The production is absolutely masterful (one of the best beats Em has
ever done), the delivery is perfect, and the verses are some of the most hard-hitting of anything Eminem
has ever done. Yet Im looking ahead, and I see more songs with zero substance lower than this. It is a
perplexing placement by every definition of the word. Sing for the Moment is a classic song. Classic.

Bad Meets Evil is the first meeting between Eminem and Royce on wax, and thats in itself to be
respected. But putting it at 29 is about the epitome of simply looking at old Em through rose-colored
glasses. Honestly, a fair chunk of the tracks from the H:TS album are better than this. But because its
from the SSLP album, it automatically takes precedence.

Ill say it until Im blue in the face: old Eminem had a fun and totally listenable pen game, but substance
wasnt something he was intent on showcasing most of the time. Seriously: An absurd amount of verses
from that era were completely interchangeable: Say youll do something off-the-wall, insert violence,
add a dash of dark humor. At 19 on the list, Any Man is another example of this recipe. In hindsight,
theres nothing spectacular about this track, yet it stands firm at number 19. That doesnt make a lick of
sense.

The Way I Am is in a good-enough spot, but it should probably be top 5. For one, this is the first song
Eminem produced by himself, and thats ridiculous in and of itself. But the beauty of the song lies in its
structure and delivery all in a syncopated anapestic tetrameter. To keep it up for a whole track and not
make it sound gimmicky is incredibly impressive. This is angry Eminem at his best, and a spot at 17 just
doesnt quite do it justice.

The biggest beef I have with this list (and clearly, I have many beefs with this list) is honestly and
sincerely concluding that Lose Yourself belongs at 11. Lose Yourself is the best Eminem song. Its a
perfect song. But Ive used that perhaps twice already Lose Yourself perfects perfection (Snoop Dogg
would be proud). The production is classic, the chorus is classic, the verses are classic. Everyone and
their mom knows about sweaty palms, spaghetti, and losing oneself. Additionally, its probably the most
complex song (not rap song song) ever written. The density in and of rhyming is unmatched,
unparalleled, un-fuckwitable. And it sounds completely effortless and smooth. Not forced, not
mechanical, not robotic, not able to be replicated. I suppose, with alcohol running through their veins,
one could argue Lose Yourself is, at worst, a top five Eminem song. But not 11. No. Fuck this list, fuck
its pulse, fuck its heartbeat.

If I Had at number seven makes me want to shake a baby. Again, its a good song. But is it top 10? No.
Is it top 5 on SSLP? No. Its another run-of-the-mill Slim Shady song with a hint of personal touch
nothing to write home about, nothing life-changing. Why this was chosen as the third-highest song from
SSLP is beyond me, beyond reason. Its foolish. It shouldnt be top 40, let alone riding high at seven.

Stan is a masterpiece of Eminems creation its a gem that could only be delivered from the mind of
Eminem. What an incredible and twisted story, what an ending, what a music video, what an American
introduction to Dido. Stan inarguably deserves to be top three, unless youre blinded by the past or
something

Oh, which explains why My Name Is is number 5. Again, I get it: Its much of the worlds introduction
to Marshall Bruce Mathers III, his bleach blonde hair, his potty mouth, and his desire to not give a shit
about your conventional standards. I totally understand that. Totally. But as an Eminem song, its not
even his best joke song serving as a first single. Heck, someone could argue that its only third on such a
list. Putting a song like My Name Is at number five is placing a song based solely on reasons not having
to do with the actual quality of the song itself. Even by Slim Shady standards, its safe. It hasnt aged
well, and its only fun to listen to as a throwback to what Eminem was when he first burst upon the
scene. Its not a top five song by any measurement, other than arguably its impact. But even then, in its
most important category, its not number one.

Ah, number one. And its Forgot About Dre. Reading this ridiculous excuse for its placement makes me
head hurt for several reasons not the least of which is the fact that theyre attempting to justify
Forgot About Dre as being the best Eminem song. Not the best Em/Dre collab (which it maybe is), not
the best track off 2001 (which is maybe) is, but the best Eminem song (which it certainly isnt). Its not
even almost halfway the best-known verse of his career (were they serious with this one?), it wasnt a
major hit single (it only hit 25 on the Hot 100), and no one was big-upping the phrase hotter than a
set of twin babies. No one. All of the criteria they cite for its majestic placement of number seem to
have been invented by writers who are hoping for readers of the article to not know anything at all in
the way of facts. Forgot About Dre, for many reasons, is probably top 20. But in no sensible confine of
intelligence is it the best Eminem song ever.