Step Purpose Activity Model

1
Reconcile
and
Rejoice
Face each other
Make the Sign of the Cross
Reflect on how you might have hurt one another
Apologize to each other and offer forgiveness
Introductory
Rite
2
Discover
God
Together
Take turns slowly & prayerfully reading from Scripture
Listen for God to speak to you through His Word
Share with each other what you hear
Liturgy of
the Word
3
Share
Your Love
Exchange a kiss
Rest in each others arms
Communicate your love through words of affection
Liturgy of
the
Eucharist
4
Serve
Each
Other
Do something for your spouse that demonstrates your love
Cook, clean, work, or do something special for your spouse
Listen to your spouse and do not let the intimacy end
Concluding
Rite

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops recommends four simple, practical
steps for learning to pray with your spouse. The following comes from their website,
foryourmarriage.org:

Couples can learn a great deal from the Mass about how to pray together as
husband and wife and how to deepen their intimacy at the same time. This is
because the Mass is the perfect prayer between Christ and His bride, the Church.
Spouses who want to learn how to pray together can begin by following the same
basic structure of the Mass.

The Mass consists of four parts: the Introductory Rite, the Liturgy of the Word, the
Liturgy of the Eucharist, and the Concluding Rite.

Step 1: Reconciling and Rejoicing

In the Introductory Rite, the Church comes together and asks God for forgiveness,
which prepares our hearts for deeper union with God.

Start by turning your chair to directly face your spouse. Look directly into your
spouses eyes, the window to their soul. Make the Sign of the Cross and take a
moment to focus on being present to each other and to God, as is done at the start of
Mass.

(pause)

Now take a moment to reflect on the ways you might have hurt each other since the
last time you prayed together.

(pause)

Take a couple of minutes to apologize and offer your spouse forgiveness. These can
be specific or just be a general apology for any way you might have harmed each
other. This will allow us to approach God with open hearts and to be united as we
continue to pray.

(pause)

Thank you; Lord, especially for your mercy. We rejoice in the moment you have
given us to follow your example in reconciling with our spouse. Please speak to us
through your word and guide us to become better husbands and wives.

Step 2: Discovering God Together

The Liturgy of the Word is when we actively listen to the readings from scripture.
This can be likened to a conversation between Christ and the Church. Christ speaks
to us in the readings and we sing psalms to God from our hearts.

In this step, as a couple, you could read Bible verses such as the daily readings or
scan the Psalms to find ones that express the sorry, fear, hope, longing for God, or
praise that you relate to.

But tonight, look into each others eyes as I read the Gospel from todays daily
readings. Think about how it stirs your emotions and what it leads you to think
about.

(Matthew 5:27-32)

A reading from the Gospel according to Matthew:

27 'You have heard how it was said, You shall not commit adultery.
28 But I say this to you, if a man looks at a woman lustfully, he has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.
29 If your right eye should be your downfall, tear it out and throw it away; for it will
do you less harm to lose one part of yourself than to have your whole body thrown
into hell.
30 And if your right hand should be your downfall, cut it off and throw it away; for it
will do you less harm to lose one part of yourself than to have your whole body go to
hell.
31 'It has also been said, Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a writ of
dismissal.
32 But I say this to you, everyone who divorces his wife, except for the case of an
illicit marriage, makes her an adulteress; and anyone who marries a divorced
woman commits adultery.

The Gospel of the Lord.

Take a couple of minutes to discuss with your spouse what you heard.

(pause)

Step 3: Share Your Love

In the Liturgy of the Eucharist, Christ and the Church exchange their love with each
other. Through the changing of bread and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ,
Jesus is made substantially present to us. He then gives Himself to us in the
Eucharist. At the same time, we receive Him and give ourselves back to Him,
deepening an intimate union.

Now that we have discovered God together, we can deepen our prayer and intimacy
by sharing our love with each other.

Kiss your spouse, hug them and rest in each other arms for a moment. Give them
words of affirmation or any other way you communicate your love. Have a thankful
heart as your intimacy is deepened in the presence of God.

(pause)

Step 4: Serve Each Other

Finally, the Concluding Rite reminds us to go in peace glorifying the Lord with our
lives. As your time of prayer draws to a close, remember to go in peace and to serve
the Lord in each other. Let your service and intimacy live on throughout the day, as
you go about cooking cleaning, listening, working, and so on.

The fruit that will come from your prayer routine will bless your marriage, deepen
your love for God and each other, and allow you to reflect the love relationship
between Christ and his beloved spouse, the Church.

Tonight, serve each other by taking a few minutes to give each other a neck
massage.

(pause)