100% Biker Issue 175

www.100-biker.
com
celebrating 40 years of the national chopper club
letters // news // how to
mega
// products
// letters // girls // JoKes // events // biKes for sale
run
The NCC'S
amaziNg
BirThday
parTy!
leaf-sPrung lovely!
SPORTSTER
TriUmPH boNNeViLLe
Nige Bamber's classic chop!
FJ1200 YAmAHA cHoPPer

Super-tough revamped rigid!
ZX10 KwaK
TwizzleS laTeST
CreaTioN!
GSX-r 1100 SUZUki
Black & minimal streetfighter!
iSSUe 175
ONLY 3.85
also first Past the Post show // ncc northants show // ncc suffolk show// diamond day
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casarva.co.uk | info@casarva.co.uk
29 Cully Court, Orton Southgate,
Peterborough. PE2 6WA
DESIGN: SimonBellDESIGN.co.uk
neXT ISSue on Sale 19Th Dec

IS
TH THS
N
O
M
r
c ov e
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36 This
monThs
cover bike
BIKe
Its the eternal

nightmare of the
professional custom
bike builder; no sooner
have you built yourself
a bike than some bugger
comes along and wants
to buy it off you!
E
AG
EP
SE 36
GeNerAL eNqUirieS
Jazz Publishing, 1 Marcher Court,
Sealand Road, Chester, CH1 6BS, UK.
01244 881888
eMail: info@jazzpublishing.co.uk
web: www.100-biker.co.uk or
www.jazzpublishing.co.uk
ediTor
Nik (Rub Buddhas belly) Samson
07719 679078 editor@100-biker.co.uk
ProdUcTioN ediTor
Fergus (Wishbone) McShane
fergus.mcshane@jazzpublishing.co.uk
GrAPHic deSiGN
Lindsay (Black cat) Price
Ext. 226 lindsay.price@jazzpublishing.co.uk
ArT ediTor
Gaz (See a penny, pick it up...) Evans Ext. 204
gareth@jazzpublishing.co.uk
ProdUcTioN
Justine (4 leaf clover) Hart Ext. 235
production@100-biker.co.uk
S
e
K
I
B
D
e
r
u
T
a
e
F
AccoUNTS & AdmiN mANAGer

Emma (Shooting star) McCrindle Ext. 207
accounts@jazzpublishing.co.uk
crediT coNTroL
Pam (Horseshoe) Coleman Ext. 215
pam@jazzpublishing.co.uk
AdmiN
Jan (Touch Wood) Schofield Ext. 219
jan@jazzpublishing.co.uk
AdVerTiSiNG eNqUirieS
Louise (Number 7) Chamberlain-Jones Ext. 317
advertising@100-biker.co.uk
SUbScriPTioNS & bAck iSSUeS
Katy (Fingers crossed) Cuffin Ext.501
magazines@jazzpublishing.co.uk
PUbLiSHer
David (Bamboo) Gamble
david@jazzpublishing.co.uk
mANAGiNG direcTor
Stuart (Rabbits foot) Mears
stuart@jazzpublishing.co.uk
coNTribUTorS
Kathy Beano Barton, Odgie, Steve Taylor, Bob,
Blackjack, Helene, John Mitchell, Rick Hulse
diSTribUTioN mANAGer
Susan (Throw salt over your shoulder) Saunders
0207 429 4073
susan.saunders@seymour.co.uk
22
17 DiamonD Day
54 suFFolk
cusTom show
22 yamaha FJ1200
Full of eastern promise.
26 Triumph bonneville
Twizzles latest and maddest creation!
NCCs London bakingly hot bunfight!

Super-tough rigid from the Isle of Wight!
Classic chopper built for the 40th
anniversary!
30 suzuki GsX-r
56 kawasaki zX10
THiS moNTHS THeme: GOOD LUCK TRADITIONS

ISSN No. 1468-0890
The views expressed in this magazine by the contributors are not
necessarily those of the publishers. All articles are written in good faith
and are based on information provided by owners. Whilst every effort
has been made to ensure the accuracy of all material, the contributors,
magazine and the publishers cannot accept liability for loss resulting
from error, mis-statement, inaccuracy, or omission contained herein.
Reproduction of any matter printed or depicted in 100% Biker magazine
is prohibited without prior permission. Some words, names, and
designations are trademarked and are the property of the trademark
holder and have only been used for identification purposes only.
56
Black and minimal streetfighter!
Make contact by email: editor@100-biker.co.uk
34 FirsT pasT The posT
or follow us on
or like our page on
Sunshine in Somerset.
48 norThanTs
cusTom show
@100Percentbiker
facebook.com/bikermagazine
Please recycle this magazine

when you have finished with it.
Beano goes on a beano!
T?
SAGeN
oUr New
AZiNe iN Y 0207 429 4073
biker mAG
t on
diNG 100% for your nearest outle

oUbLe FiN
pany
HAViNG Tr t our distribution com
ac
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www.100-biker.co.uk | issue 175 | 100% Biker | 5
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WarWickshire
BUckiNGhaMshire
cYcLe eNTerPrises
sOOTYs ParTs
Manor Farm Buildings

Opposite emberton Park, emberton
Buckinghamshire Mk46 5JN
01234 711781
Find Sootys Customs on Facebook
LaNcashire
The hOGFaTher MOTOrcYcLes

hog cycle Works, The Old church
cemetery road, southport, Lancashire Pr8 5ee
Unit 8, Willow Park, stoke Golding

Warwickshire cV13 6eU
sOMerseT
aFB
Unit 2, east Quay Park

east Quay, Bridgwater, somerset Ta6 4DB
01278 444 303

www.afbmotorcycles.co.uk
sUFFOLk
0845 644 8360

info@ThehogfatherMotorcycles.com
www.ThehogfatherMotorcycles.com
www.thehogfathermotorcycles.com/store
T & r MOTOrcYcLes
WiLL BUrrOW MOTOrcYcLes
01502 580590
www.tandrmotorcycles.com
Unit 4, Nightjar Way, higham side road

inskip, Preston, Lancashire Pr4 0TF
01772 690957
www.willburrowmotorcycles.com
NEW WORKSHOP
hOG DOc
Unit 2, Phoenix Brewery court Yard
heywood, Lancashire OL10 2eP
Tel: 01706 365505

info@hogdoc.co.uk
www.hogdoc.co.uk
Find Hog Doc on Facebook
Montana Place, Norwich road

Lowestoft, suffolk Nr32 2BN
sUrreY
BeakYs MOTOrcYcLes
Unit 2, Philpots Yard, horsham road,

Beare Green, Dorking, surrey rh5 4QU
01306 712297
info@beakysmotorcycles.com
www.beakysmotorcycles.com
01455 213007
WesT YOrkshire
ThUNDerciTY MOTOrcYcLes
Unit 2, haines Park, Grant avenue
sheepscar, Leeds
West Yorkshire Ls7 1QQ
01132 406 332

www.thundercity.co.uk
NOrTh WaLes
DraGON MOTOrcYcLes
Unit 1 & 2, Old station Yard, Y Felinheli

Gwynedd, North Wales LL56 4JQ
01248 670674
www.dragon-motorcycles.com
ireLaND
hOGs r Us
Firmount, Donoughmore, co cork, eire
Tel: 00353 21733700

or 00353 862659951
hogsrus@eircom.net
www.hogsrus.net
OXFOrDshire
NOrTherN ireLaND
shePs cYcLe shack
reBeLLiON sPeeD & chOP
01865 876771
sales@shepscycleshack.co.uk
www.shepscycleshack.co.uk
02838 310100
e: rebellionspeedandchop.com
www.rebellionspeedandchop.blogspot.co.uk
kinnego Marina, Oxford island

Lurgan, co.armagh BT66 6NJ
Unit 3, 4 Gidley Way

horspath, Oxford, Oxfordshire OX33 1rQ
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
eDiTorial
60 anniversary run
All summer long Id been bumping into

Chopper Club members who told me that I
had to get to the August Run as it was really
going to be mega. They werent kidding
THIS
MONTHS
FeaTureD
evenT
SEE PAGE
60
F
F
u
T
S
r
e
h
T
o
S
e
u
S
S
I
S
I
Th
67 maG campaiGns
The latest news from the world of riders rights!
68 evenTs
The most comprehensive events listing around!
73 biker haunTs
Pubs, cafes and clubs for you to visit.
76 roGues Gallery
Your life in pictures.
78 buFFoonery
The best (and rudest) jokes page in any magazine!
8 news
64
The latest from the world of biking.
10 proDucTs
Tasty stuff to spend yer wonga on!
12 biker Gear
Now that youve got nice new trews, youll be

needing a jacket, wont you? Suits you, sir!
80 bikeJumble
Buy or sell bikes and bits for free!
82 Tail piece
Our regular column from the

legendary Rick Hulse!
76
14 bulGinG sack
Your letters, written by you.
45 sheDheaD
Continuing his work on the dark arts of

resurrection!
64 biker insiDer
Our in-depth look at one of the

leading figures of the industry!
WorldMags.net
This year, in case you dont know,

is the 40th birthday of the National
chopper club. And over the last 40
years theyve been building and riding
custom bikes; proper custom bikes
that both look amazing, and are also
rideable. rideability is a big thing with
the Ncc; their bikes have to be be
capable of dealing with the miles or
theyre no use to man nor beast. The
club do four runs a year, one on each
of the four main bank Holidays, to
different sites all around the country,
and also abroad too, so theres
no point in having a purely show
machine; it might look good, but if it
cant cover the ground
And over the years theyve built some
of the most extraordinary customs to
grace this planet. Everyone will have
their favourites, of course, and some
of mine, to name just a few, are Hanks
ground-breaking The Fly for instance,
and Twizzles Enigma, Jim from Essexs
insanely long Malice in Wonderland
(which I actually rode Jim, yer a
loony!), Wizz from Lincs stunning
prismic-tank GSX-R streetfighter (a bike
I still desire almost carnally) and well,
you get the picture. They, as a club,
have built more bikes that Ive wanted
to take home than anyone else and, as
Beano says elsewhere this issue, I get a
slightly giddy feeling going to Chopper
Club events cos, speaking as a custom
bike freak, theyre the closest thing to
Heaven you can get.
So for this issue of Biker, were
celebrating their 40th anniversary
by bringing you five Club bikes, and
a shedload of pics from two of their
biggest events, Diamond Day and the
August Mega-Run, as well as a few of
their more grassroots ones too. The
bikes weve picked might not be the
showiest ones out there, but they are
representative of the diversity of styles
that they embraceno two Chopper
Club bikes are the same and the ones
were showing you exemplify that.
So, we hope you enjoy this special
issue and will join me in raising a glass
to the Club40 years done, chaps,
heres to the next 40!
Nik
100%
neWS
WorldMags.net
NEw!
MaSSIVE CHaRITY RaFFLE
merIDen BonnIe
Triumph, Britains top-selling large capacity motorcycle brand, has released
a special edition of its iconic Bonneville, celebrating another classic Triumph
from over 30 years ago
The new special edition Bonnie features an iconic paint scheme inspired by one of the
last Meriden models off the line in 1982, the T140 TSS. It has distinctive Jet Black and
Lunar Silver paintwork; the tank and side panels sport the black livery (with handpainted coach lines), and the front and rear mudguards are in silver with jet black centre
stripes and hand-painted gold coach lines.
The special edition enjoys a number of new finishing touches too, including machined
detailing on the cooling fins, solid black oil cooler lines, a chrome grab rail, black mirrors, and
brushed clutch, sprocket and alternator covers too
The new Meriden-inspired Bonneville is now available via Triumphs dealer network, with
an OTR price of 7,499. See your local dealer for more info or have a look at the Triumph
website at www.triumph.co.uk.
Avinton Motorcycles
France isnt really very famous as a country of bike manufacturers, but

that could be about to change
Avinton Motorcycles are offering a range of three bikes; the Avinton Collector GT, the
Collector Race, and the Collector Roadster, designed around an S&S 1640 wrapped
in a minimal frame. The idea behind them is to emulate the AC Cobra; installing a big
American powerplant in a small and light European chassis. The engine puts out 120
horsepower and 120 foot pounds of torque; it has a wet weight of 430 pounds (195
kilos), and the look is very definitely of the early Buells.
Prices look to be starting at around 30,000 Euros, and
you can get more info from www.avinton.fr.
WorldMags.net
8 | 100% Biker | issue 175 | www.100-biker.co.uk
A couple of Biker readers are organising

a massive charity raffle to raise money
for four worthy causes; MAG, the Air
Ambulance, Macmillan Cancer Support,
and the Lullaby Trust
Having already done a fund-raising ride
to all four points of the compass in the
British Isles and also Lands End and John
OGroats too, covering 2,817 miles on an
old 500 CX500, theyve now scored a
huge number of very cool prizes including
rally tickets for a host of 2014 events
(Black Shuck Rally, Bum in the Mud,
Coypu rally, Highway Hunters Summer
Party, Mad Cow Rally, the Ogri Rally,
Reepham Festival, the Soggy Moggy, the
Steaming Ale, Tollyfest, and the 4Fs to
name but a few), and also a C.B.T from
CAM Rider, a years subscription to 100
% Biker donated by us, bottles of wine,
clothing, and a host of smaller prizes too.
Tickets cost just 1 a strip and can be
obtained by ringing 07788 855616 or
emailing jackandrosie4charity@hotmail.
co.uk or going to their Facebook page
(Jack Rosie). The draw will be held on 30th
November at The Royal Fusiliers, Aingers
Green Road, Aingers Green, Essex (CO7
8NH), where there will be a bit of a party
with limited camping at the rear of the pub.
Good luck!
DRaGON RaLLY
Conwy MCC would like you to know

that tickets for the 2014 Dragon Rally
have gone on sale
The 53rd Dragon will be held over the
weekend of February 89 at, it says
here, a new and superb site which
means that itll be up the side of some
terrifyingly cold Welsh mountain,
probably knee deep in snow and sheep
shit, cos thats what the Dragons about,
isnt it? Tickets cost 20 or 30 and will
be posted out at the end of November,
and final directions will be sent out at the
end of January. To get yours go to their
website at www.conwymacc.co.uk.
BIKER DOwN
Biker Down is a free first

aid course run by various
emergency services
around the country that
will train you on what to do if you come
across a bike (or car) accident while
youre out and about
There are now seven regions where its
being run; Kent (Ashford, Kent Fire &
Rescue), West Sussex (Arundel, Sussex
Police), East Sussex (Hastings, East Sussex
Fire & Rescue), Cardiff (Powys Road Safety
Authority & South Wales Fire & Rescue), Mid
Wales (Fire & Rescue), Manchester (Fire &
Rescue), Gloucestershire (Fire & Rescue),
and Milton Keynes (Fire & Rescue). There
are a number of courses running through
the year, and the way to get on one is
contact any of the services listed above or
go to the Biker Down UK Facebook page.
WorldMags.net
CUSTOM DEVILS
CHRISTMaS VOUCHERS
Custom Devils have a huge range of

leather biker gear and accessories online
at their substantial website, and theyd
like you to know that you can vouchers
from them to give as Christmas gifts
The idea is that you buy a card from them
with however much you want to give your
loved one or friend, and then all the person
receiving the gift voucher has to do when
they want to buy
something is put in
the voucher code.
Check out their
website at www.
customdevils.
com for more
information.
YOUTHBIKE PLEa
National Youthbike are looking for old

or abandoned motorcycles for groups of
young people to work on
They seek to encourage young people to
take up motorcycling and engineering,
and they do this by giving them old and
battered bikes to try to restore and get
running again. They will collect them too.
So if you have anything please get in
touch with them through their website at
www.youthbike.com or tony.nightingale@
yahoo.co.uk.
online
www.flat-out.com
New website
for extreme
performance bikes
www.4ever
2wheels.com
New website
of customs and
classics
www.sealmate.net
Fix your leaking
fork seals on
the cheap!
Rossi Bike at Thundersprint!
Phil Morris, who has one of the best collections of

racing motorcycles in the world, will be bringing
one of the 125cc Nastro Azzurro Aprilias on which
Valentino Rossi won the 1997 World Championship,
to the 2014 Thundersprint, whichll be held at Darley
Moor over the weekend of May 1011
Hell also be taking along a selection of track-ready race bikes, including his whole
collection of factory V&M Yamahas, and Nick Jefferies will be riding one, the ex-David
Jefferies machine, in the Sprint itself.
For more info on the Thundersprint ring 01928 740 498 or go to www.thundersprint.com.
eBr 1190rX
Erik Buell Racing (EBR) recently unveiled their latest bike,

the EBR 1190RX; a direct descendant of the limited edition
1190RS Super Bike
The new bike weighs just 190 kilos, but boasts 185 horsepower
and 102 ft-lbs of torque. Its been built using Erik Buells long
experience of building race bikes and so the handling is as good
as youd expect from any of his machines. It also bristles with
all the high tech gadgets (traction control, multi-function digital
instrument gauge cluster, etc.) youd expect from a new bike too.
There are also whispers of an unfaired bike to come too.
At the time of the writing theres no European price, but the
bike is expected to cost $18,995 in the US. For more info go to
the website at www.erikbuellracing.com.
SPaDa clIcK & collecT
The all-new Spada Clothing website allows

you to browse the entire Spada collection
online and then click and collect from
your local store
It means you can check out their huge range of
helmets, gloves, jackets, leathers, boots, accessories and much
more, before creating a wish-list of your favourites, reserving and
then collecting them from your local dealer (find it using their
Dealer Locator).
The entire Spada range is designed in Britain and offers the
ultimate choice for bikers with more sense than money; take a
look for yourself at www.spadaclothing.co.uk.
DonT mISS an ISSue

if you dont want to miss
an issue! ask your local
newsagent to reserve
100% biker on a
regular basis.
Fill in this form
and hand to
your newsagent
Name
Address
Postcode
Email address
Telephone number
WorldMags.net
All newWorldMags.net
Biker Products
of
Seal
roval
App
cuSTom
cruISerS
nitrous kits
New from Derbyshires finest

accessories supplier, these new nitrous
oxide-injection kits fit both twin and
four-cylinder engines, and are available
as single or dual bottle kits with outputs
from 30 to 150bhp
Suitable for both fuel-injected and
carburettor bikes, cars and trucks,
they cost from 399 from Custom
Cruisers on 01773 835666 or at www.
customcruisers.com.
50-PIece
metric tool kit
This impressive tool kit suits all Japanese bikes, and

normally costs 29.99 but is on offer for 24.99 with
free delivery (quote 100% Biker when purchasing)
Compact enough to carry below your seat, it contains a
screwdriver/bit driver handle, six screw bits, a 15-piece
socket set, ten hex/Allen keys, eight folding Torxs,
a 150mm adjustable spanner, a 10mm combination
spanner, a plug socket, a tyre pressure gauge, cable
ties and spare wire, a stop/tail bulb and two fuses, a
can of WD-40, and a towel.
Get yours by ringing 0800 5999 159 or go to www.
roadside-toolkits.co.uk.
This new heads-up-display system

communicates speed, engine revs,
gear selection, turn indicators and
more using graphics, colour and sound
by projecting them in front of you
Designed to be fitted to any
motorcycle, from modern sports
bikes to 1960s classics, the inhelmet display fits full-face and
most flip-front helmets, and is easily
installed by anyone competent with
electrical systems.
Priced at under 400, you can get
more info on it from the website at
www.bike-hud.com.
Seal of
oDgIe t-shirt
BIKe SYSTemS
bike hud
Approva
l
That veritable denizen of good taste (his words, not ours), our very own Odgie, has added
yet another new design to his Psycho Bobber and Anthill Custom Cycles T-shirt range
I wanted a shirt like I used to wear back in the 60s, before all us bikers went black and dark and
mysterious or something. So I settled for Vibrant Yellow on Vivid Purple. Groovy. Then I liked it so
much I had a batch made up so you too can be the funkiest dude (or dudess) on your street. Its
quite possibly the coolest T-shirt youll ever buy.
He knocks them out for a ludicrously inexpensive 8.99 each, plus a coupla quid for
postage; check em out via his website at www.odgie.com or just stick Anthill T-shirt into
eBays search engine.
WorldMags.net
TT mIleSToneS
calendar
A pedigree budgie, a toilet, several

laps of the TT course and a very
patient photographer; the Milestones
TT calendar is back, with more wittilyillustrated TT anecdotes
Made up of 15 leaves of unusual
monochrome images that interpret real
TT events involving the likes of Giacomo
Agostini, Archie Birkin, Guy Martin, Ian
Lougher and Joey Dunlop, the calendars
costs 15 and is available at www.
milestonescalendar.com.
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
Biker Gear
WorldMags.net
wATerProoF JAckeTS: WELL, YOU DONT WANT A DRY

BOTTOM HALF AND A DAMP TOP, DO YOU? (ALTHOUGH,
THINKING ABOUT IT, DAMPNESS IN THE TROUSER
DEPARTMENT WOULD PROBABLY BE WORSE, WOULDNT IT?)
Seal of
WeISe nevaDa WP 159.99
al
Approv
rIcha DIScoverY
Tough, versatile and good value for money;

thats the Weise Nevada four-season jacket.
Ideal for the budget-conscious rider who
braves the road in any weather, the permanent
climate liner is waterproof and breathable to
keep rain outside and prevent moisture buildup inside. A removable quilted thermal liner
offers superior 120gms of insulation.
It costs 159.99 in sizes S5XL from www.
GetGeared.co.uk or in store at GetGeared Leeds
or GetGeared Leatherhead or 0845 017 5007.
helD SIXTY-6
199.99
This excellent jackets tough and durable, and has not one, but two detachable
inner liners; a waterproof and breathable one, and also a thermal one as well. That
means you can leave em both in for winter and stay warm and dry, and then in
summer remove whichever one you dont need depending on the conditions. It also
has CE armour in all the usual places, and loads of pockets, and comes in sizes XS
(ladies) up to 12XL!
Available in a range of colours, it costs 199.99 from anywhere that stocks the Richa
linego to www.nevis.uk.com to find the nearest place to you.
A great looking jacket; the fit, the look, the

carefree vintage feel will look great on your
bike. Its a waterproof, wax-cotton jacket with
CE soft protectors at the shoulders and elbows
and a back pocket for a back protector.
Available in black/beige, army green, and black,
it costs 179.99 in sizes S5XL from www.
GetGeared.co.uk or in store at GetGeared Leeds
or GetGeared Leatherhead or 0845 017 5007.
WorldMags.net
179.99
WorldMags.net
FurYgan
aTl aS WP 259.99
This three-quarter length textile jacket is
designed to meet any challengefrom city
to country, for four seasons riding.
It has a thick removable, thermal padded
lining, armour in the right places, Furygans
Skin Protect lining to help protect in the
case of an accident, and their Duo System;
two pockets at the waist designed to keep
the hands of the pillion warm!
It costs 259.99 in sizes S4XL from
www.GetGeared.co.uk or in store
at GetGeared Leeds or GetGeared
Leatherhead or 0845 017 5007.
BuFFalo
STorm rIDer
69.99
Spearheading the latest collection from

Buffalo is the Storm Rider jacket. This stylish
short jacket is waterproof, with CE protectors
at shoulders and elbows, air vents front and
rear, and a removable quilted lining.
Available in a choice of three colours and
sizes from S5XL, the Storm Rider retails
for just 69.99 including VAT. Get yours
by calling 01179 719200 or visiting www.
thekeycollection.co.uk.
Seal of
SPaDa
eXPlorer
99.95
This camo jacket is made from heavy

duty nylon and is 100% waterproof and
breathable, has CE approved elbow, shoulder
and back protectors, multiple arm adjusters,
multiple outer pockets, and a high soft collar.
Available in sizes S4XL, it costs 99.95
from anywhere that stocks the Spada range
or www.spadaclothing.co.uk.
BIKerS ParaDISe
magnum 129.00
This new jacket is waterproof and
breathable, is internally and externally
stitched for safety, and has removable CE
armour in the shoulders and elbows, and
removable back padding. It also has a zipout winter lining, and large pockets, and is
very comfortable to wear.
Available in sizes 3654, it costs 129.00
from www.bikersparadise.co.uk.
Approva
l
SPaDa camo
Biker Gear
169.95
Made from 600D high abrasion resistant

polyester, this jacket is 100% waterproof
and breathable, and has a removable
waterproof thermal lining, six front
pockets and a lower back pocket, front,
back and sleeve vents, adjustable sleeves,
waist and collar, and zipped and tab cuffs.
It also has a wallet pocket, two lining
pockets, and five-piece armour. Available
in sizes SXXL, it costs 169.95 from www.
spadaclothing.co.uk.
WorldMags.net
neXT monTh
wATerProoF
GLoVeS
to keep your
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dear 100% biker,

Me and the wife went to the Kustom Kulture Blastoff in Spalding. We saw some cool
custom bikes and hot rods, lots of people in rockabilly gear of all ages, cool tattoos, air
brushing, pinstriping and lots more.
Walking around we came across a bloke from one of my favourite programs; Horny
Mike from Counting Cars, and we got a picture with him and watched him work his
magic. Top bloke!
Knew it was going to be a good day, but didnt realise it was going to be THAT good what a blast!
Jim wells
Umm, who? N.
dear 100% biker,

Why do we do it? Why do we believe what
were told without question, and why do
we believe the charlatans who tell us what
they want us to do? I know its a sort of
how long is a piece of string question,
but I feel it has potential. This is my
reasoning, such as it is, based on my (very)
limited knowledge of politics, religion,
entente cordiale, and international financial
expertise, as to why we shouldnt.
First off, when it comes to EU rules, we
Brits bend over backwards to ensure full
adherence to them, regardless of how
unsuitable, stupid or downright repressive
they are. The French generally ignore
them, regardless of the legislation and
fines which are intended to prevent bad
things happening to various elements
of the world as we know it. The Greeks
seem to have an attitude so laid back that
theyre almost horizontal, and rules are
really just guidelines, right? Thatll be why
they keep borrowing the odd Euro from
the rest of us. Germany is almost a police
state in its draconian vehicle regulations,
and still bellows orders to the rest of the
member states, whilst trying to prove they
have a sustainable economy. Italy has a
tendency to be both excitable and serene,
their politicians are as buyable as a bag of
chips. The Spanish are now attempting to
raise their economic shortfall by charging
people 50 Euro to go and see the Rock of
Gibraltar; and the poorer, easterly bits of
Europe have only recently joined the EU, so
we dont know much about them except
that they still use donkeys for transport.
All of this new Europe, except for us
Brits and the Germans, of course, pay
very little, if any tax. The politicians who
live around Brussels have accountants
to avoid it, and what they cant avoid
they claim in expenses on bunga-bunga
parties. The people of countries with

weaker economies dont pay because
their politicians havent sussed a way of
charging their countrymen for re-gravelling
the dirt tracks yet. These countries
can claim a cash aid equivalent of the
Greek national debt on a weekly basis in
exchange for not improving anything and
maintaining the status quo, i.e. no vehicles
= no added pollution.
They still use candles, paraffin heaters
and coal fired electricity generators, but
the few they have isnt going to send the
polar bears to Hawaii on an ice floe... not
yet, anyway.
So lets face it. Were a gullible nation.
If we werent, would we have let the
politicians try to sort things out? Dont
forget, its on the politicians say-so that
we send millions of pounds in foreign aid
to countries that are developing nuclear
weapons, space programmes and/or
have a culture of discrimination, be it
racial, sexual, religious or gender specific.
The political leaders of these heavily
subsidised countries live life to the full, with
banquets, cars, yachts and any other item
of luxurious decadence they think they
can get away with, which is most things.
Add to this a foreign bank account (not in
Britain, of course theyd pay too much
tax) as a retirement fund, and your average
unelected despot has it made, probably by
a bespoke firm of accountants and lawyers,
who are being paid by us under the legal
aid scheme.
So why do we do it? Probably because
on the whole, were a nation of well
behaved, law abiding, tolerant people
who are also mugs. Weve had a civil war
and a republic, and the political lords and
ladies convinced us to bring the monarchy
back. We had an empire, and again the
political lords and ladies in charge abused
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our position to such an extent that people

fought to get away from us. We had a
world war, and people found out the truth
about class that the reason the lords and
ladies are lords and ladies is because their
ancestors were a better bunch of thieving
thugs than ours were. Then we had
another war, because someone wanted to
make us do as we were told. And we very
nearly did.
Now were trying politics as a monarchy.
It sounds wrong, I know. But who elected
it? There are now oh so many faceless
politicians in the EU; none of whom seem
accountable to us, the public. Over the
years, weve become a watery shadow
of ourselves. Once upon a time in history,
wed have fought tooth and nail for our
freedoms, and everyone elses, regardless.
Now we mostly roll over when some
unelected faceless bureaucrat tells us to.
They dont need a war, they dont need any
elections or referendums; all they have to
do is tell us its going to be a law.
Thats why we shouldnt take everything
were told by those on high as the truth;
because it usually isnt.
robert Latham
Thanks to the lovely

people at Oxford
Products (www.
oxprod.com or 01993
862300), the best
letter each month will
win one of their cool new Box
BX-1 helmets. The BX-1 is their latest full
face lid and has been designed to a very
high specification. It has a lightweight
synthetic shell, a quick-release visor, a
removable lining and two ventilation
points to both duct air in to cool your
sweaty bonce, and also whisk away the
hot air too. Its been awarded four stars
in the latest SHARP safety tests, and it
comes in a variety of colours plain black,
plain matt black, plain silver or plain white
and some very funky SCOPE graphic
colours tooand would set you back
49.99 if you had to buy one, but, as I
said each month one lucky so-and-so will
get one free, gratis and for nowt.
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B175
NCC LONDONS DIAMOND DAY
EVENT FEATURE
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NCC LONDONS
DIAMOND DAY
WoRDS & piCS: BEANO
6 July, Ace Cafe, London
Diamond Day is the Chopper Clubs annual London bunfight, and probably
the biggest gathering of custom bikes in the nations capital each year
he temperature was already hitting the 30s

as I made my way down to the Ace Cafe,
and as I headed through the Hatfield tunnel
I came across saw a convoy of custom
Harleys and streetfighters gliding along
I swear they were gliding! Like geese on the wing,
they passed me in well travelled formation.
Arriving at the Ace, I parked my stock bike
away from all of the show-winning machines
(well, I didnt want any of its common rubbing
off on them, did I?), and made my way through the
crowds to get a cold drink. It took me 35 minutes
to cross the car park, as most of the bikes wouldnt
let you simply walk past without drawing you
in to consider them in detail. One trike I couldnt
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EVENT FEATURE
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It took me 35 minutes to cross

the car park, as most of the bikes
wouldnt let you simply walk past
walk past was The Pigstera creation I can only
describe as a muscle trike. Its a behemoth of a
machine with a 1970s 3.5-litre Range Rover engine,
and the owner, Andy Piper, told me that above 100
my glasses try to rip themselves off my face, so I
tend not to give it full throttle!
The number of visitors, both club and other
custom folk, was also enhanced by the amount of
passing trade; the curious and the visitors who
were taking a trip to the landmark as part of a
holiday to the UKs capital. I spoke to a rather
bewildered 60-something rider whod recently
returned to riding and wanted to take in all his old
haunts as part of his bucket list. The sole reason

for his visit was to have an Ace Cafe breakfast and,
not knowing about the show, he was blown away
with the sheer number of people, quality custom
machinery, and the welcome by the NCC which was
offered to all attending. I was chatting to him when
a club member offered to show him around some
of the custom machines, as well as update him on
all the years he had spent away from riding. Thats
what I love about the biking fraternity!
The actual bike show itself, which for some
odd reason seemed almost secondary to the feel
of the whole day, but of course isnt, had awards
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Nick Gale got Classic for his Harley

45 sidevalve and also Best New Chop
On The Block too with a Flyrite 1340
Evo belonging to one of his customers
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EVENT FEATURE
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he was blown away with the sheer

number of people, quality custom
machinery and the welcome by the NCC
which was offered to all attending
for Best Chop, Best Custom, Best Streetfighter,

Best Trike, Best Engineering, Best Paint, Best
Classic, and Best New Chop On The Block. I
actually missed the details of the presentation,
but I do know that Twizzle got Engineering
with his amazing new machine (that you can see
elsewhere this issue), and iconic builder and wellknown name in the custom bike scene, Nick Gale,
got Classic for his Harley 45 sidevalve and also
Best New Chop On The Block too with a Flyrite
1340 Evo belonging to one of his customers. Quite
an achievement to scoop two trophies at a show
with such a lot of competition.
Overall, it was a fantastic day and a large part
of the National Chopper Clubs 40th anniversary
celebrations. Congratulations, chaps, heres to
another 40! p
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BIKE FEATURE
YAMAHA FJ1200
WorldMags.net
SKullY
No, not that red-headed posh totty off The X-Files, but something
far more suitable to the pages of a custom bike magazine; Marc
from NCC Vectis FJ1200 hardtail
wordS & PicS: NIK
ectis, in case you dont

know, is the olde worlde
name for the Isle of Wight
and can be traced right
back to Pliny The Elder
(AD23-79), a Roman author who,
arguably, wrote the very first
encyclopedia and who was killed
in the eruption of Mount Vesuvius
that destroyed the cities of
Pompeii and Herculaneum. This
has, of course, nothing to do with
Marcs bike, but like the Stephen
Fry-fronted BBC2 comedy show, I
thought it was Quite Interesting.
Anyway, he (thats Marc, not
Stephen Fryhes not actually a
member of NCC Vectis as far as I
know) bought the bike that was

to become Skully, as he calls it. It
came from another club member
and looked a bit like it does now
a bit. It was black and gold, he
says, and was a little scruffy, but
that didnt matter to him as he
could see the potential in it, and
no sooner had he got it home, he
started planning its rebuild.
Hed always planned to give it
a paint scheme that was a little
brighter than the black that itd
come in, and so shipped the front
mudguard, the tank and the rear
guard over to Andy Fisher at
Tats2U in Newport (Isle of Wight,
not Wales) to have the lovely gold
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Honda Gold base with airbrushed

skulls laid on them.
Andy is, as you might surmise
from his company name, a
tattooist, but he does custom
painting on the side, and bloody
well by the looks of it. While they
were away Marc started to strip
the rest of the bike to clean up and
sort out any other bits he wasnt
immediately happy with.
And, as is always the way, a
problem immediately reared its
ugly head. While trying to change
the rear disc, he managed to snap
one of the bolts. Bugger. He then
had to use, as he puts it, brute force
to remove the others too and this
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result in him snapping a further
three. Bugger, part two. Having
used up a cold chisel, and after
having spent three hours heating
up the remaining bolts to get the
bastards to free, he decided hed
better do something about the
wheel. Someoned already offered
him a fatter XJR1300 rear hoop,
but hed put that idea on the back
burner because it wasnt a straight
swap, so he took the old wheel to
have it Heli-Coiled. On being told,
though, that it was 50 per bolt to
remove the old ones and Heli-Coil
the oles, he decided that perhaps
hed chance the XJR wheel after all.
Mind you, as I said, its not a
straight swap and after spending
almost three hours trying to get it
to fit and having massive meltdowns cos it really wouldnt,
he was beginning to
question his decision.
Thankfully he has
some good mates
and, seeing the
trouble he was
having, Jason
from D.I.C.E (Diamond Isle

Custom Engineering) said move
over, fat boy, let me have a go.
Hes a proper engineer is Jason,
and after hed measured up and
made a few spacers, the new
hoop fitted in perfectly. Jason
also made up the new battery/
electrics box and modified the
exhaust to fit tighter too.
The new wheel slotting in
was perfect timing because the
paintwork had just been finished,
so Baz from NCC Vectis came
round and finished off the electrics,
and it was time to put Skully
together. Marc says that once she
aS I goT oFF I ForgoT To PuT DoWn

The SIDe-STanD. lo anD BeholD,
more Than an eYeBroW WaS raISeD
aT me FIghTIng To KeeP her uP
BeFore She Fell over comPleTelY
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BIKE FEATURE
yAmAhA FJ1200
WorldMags.net
specification
sheet
Engine:
1988 Yamaha FJ 1200 3CV, Yamaha
XJR1300 carbs, 54mm K&N style air
filters, one-off exhaust with cut down
Micron can, standard oil cooler with
braided lines
Frame:
Unknown rigid, Kawasaki Z750 footrests & controls
Sharp End:
Yamaha FJ1200 wheel/ discs/ forks/
bottom yoke/ master-cylinder/
switchgear/ controls, Yamaha V-Max
calipers, polished billet top yoke and
risers, braided stainless brake lines,
one-off handlebars, aftermarket grips,
mini speedo
Blunt End:
Yamaha XJR1300 wheel and disc,
180/55/17 tyre, Yamaha XJ650 caliper,
one-off torque arm
Tinware:
Modified Yamaha FJ1200 front
mudguard, twin cap Mustang tank,
one-off seat with monoshock spring,
one-off stainless electrics/ battery box,
one-off rear mudguard
Electrics:
One-off loom by Baz NCC Vectis,
chrome bullet-style headlight, diamondshaped tail light, chrome mini indicators
paint
Honda Gold with airbrushed skulls by
Andy Fisher at Tats2U (07917 412508)
polishing:
Jason at D.I.C.E.
Engineering:
Rear wheel spacers, brake calipers
and battery box by Jason at D.I.C.E.
(07733 321832)
Thanks To:
Jason at D.I.C.E; Andy Fisher at Tats2U
for the paintwork; Baz at NCC Vectis for
the electrics; and my girlfriend, Sharon,
for being understanding and patient
whilst Im out at play
was put back together she looked

amazing, and he could hardly wait
for the first test ride. He inserted
the key, pushed the starter button,
and she burst into life, roaring like a
lion. He ran her down the road, and
up through the local town where
people were turning round to see
where the roaring noise was coming
from. I stopped in the High Street,
he says, to have a cigarette, and a
look at her from a distance, but as I
got off I forgot to put down the sidestand. Lo and behold, more than an
eyebrow was raised at me fighting
to keep her up before she fell over
completely and damaged all the
good work thatd been put into her.
Lesson learnedremember to put
the side-stand down!
The first major ride was the
Easter Run (the NCC hold a Run
each Bank Holiday weekend
throughout the year) which was to
somewhere in Suffolk. She didnt
miss a beat, he says, and did all
that was asked of her. Hes quite
pleased; at last, Ive finally found
a bike Im suited to. I have a few
plans for her for next year though;
another paint job for a start and
possibly some performance
enhancements. Well, thats
assuming he still has it, of course;
Id be gutted to get rid of her, but
if someone came up with the right
SeeIng The TrouBle he WaS

havIng, JaSon From D.I.c.e
(DIamonD ISle cuSTom
engIneerIng) SaID move over,
FaT BoY, leT me have a go
money, I might consider selling
her and starting all over again.
Hmm, well, I dont know that
I want to be the one to break up
such a happy relationship, but if
youd like to give Skully a good
home, then heres his number;
07881 247804. I just hope that,
if you buy it, you can live with
yourself, you homewrecker! p
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BIKE FEATURE
TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE
WorldMags.net
oF moTorcYcleS
anD men
Those of us whove been around long
enough, or indeed those who pay attention
to such things, willve already realised that
2013 is the 40th anniversary of the National
Chopper Club
wordS & PicS: ODGIE
he NCC came into being

with its inaugural run
on August Bank Holiday
1973, and has remained
a driving force and core
organisation within custom
biking ever since. Of course, 40
years is a helluva long time to
belong to anything, and in fact,
theres only one member who
was a member then, and has
continuously been a member
ever since. And thats my mate
Nige Bamber. So it might come

as no great surprise that, as
the anniversary approached,
he felt a deepening urge to do
something to commemorate it in
style. And what better way than
to build a bike?
Having been a bike builder
and Triumph man for over 40
years, he already had a fair bit
of swag around him. The Cycle
Haven frame had been in his
possession for years, and the
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engine too, I was into T140s

when they were just cheap old
motorbikes, so I collected plenty
of old engines. One of them
just happened to be engraved.
In fact, Nige and I both know
engraving didnt really come
in until a few years later when
John Reed (Uncle Bunt) brought
Don Blocksidges skills to bear,
but it seemed a shame to waste
them when theyre so skilfully
done and damn near period
anywaymost people wont
know the difference.
He also had a set of long
springer forks, with round legs,
but it was trading parts to get
the super-long barley-twist
ones that finally sealed the deal.
Theyre Kustom Korner ones

from the mid-1970s, and you
dont need me to tell you theyre
l-o-n-g. To accommodate them,
Nige put two inches in the frame
top tube, another two inches in
the down tubes, and added lots
and lots of rake. And so the
game was afoot.
Hes built more than enough
Unit Triumph customs to know
what hes doing, but in this case
the real snag was time. With
the deadline of August totally
sacrosanct (well, not much
point in building a bike for a
40th anniversary if you miss
it, is there?), everything had to
be done in short order. When
I first saw the bike sat in his
workshop, it was pretty much
just a mocked-up bare frame and
forks with a dummy engine, and
that wouldve been in late June.
Oh, and the crank was sat on the
bench with stripped flywheel
threads. Yikes. Some things came
together, some things didnt. I
wont bore you with the comedy
of errors that was the chroming,
suffice to say successive promised
deadlines came and went and no
chromed parts appeared. When
you think that the parts at the
chromers included the entire
disassembled forks, along with
heS BuIlT more Than

enough unIT TrIumPh
cuSTomS To KnoW
WhaT heS DoIng, BuT
In ThIS caSe The real
Snag WaS TIme
WorldMags.net
BIKE FEATURE
TRIUMPH BONNEVILLE
WorldMags.net
I WaS InTo T140S When TheY Were
JuST cheaP olD moTorBIKeS,
So I collecTeD PlenTY oF olD
engIneS. one oF Them JuST
haPPeneD To Be engraveD
specification
sheet
Engine:
1972 Triumph T140 Bonneville, fully
rebuilt, hydraulic clutch conversion,
Hayward belt primary drive, engraved
cases, single 930 Amal carb, one-off
exhausts, Boyer ignition, external oil filter
Frame:
Cycle Haven hardtail, two-inch stretch
both ways, one-off forward controls
Sharp End:
Harley-Davidson 19-inch Sportster
wheel & disc, Performance Machine
caliper, 1970s Kustom Korner twisted
springers, narrow hi-rise bars
Blunt End:
16inch Triumph wheel, Triumph T140
Bonneville hub
Tinware:
Modified front mudguard, Mustang
tank, 1970s Paughco King & Queen
seat, Paughco oil tank, one-off
electrics box, modified six-inch flat rear
mudguard, Kustom Korner sissybar
Electrics:
One-off loom, 1972 Lucas Square 8
headlights, catseye rear light
paint:
Tony
powdercoating:
Triple S Powdercoating
polishing:
Anthony
Engineering:
Owner & Des
all the brackets and bits and pieces

that hold everything together, and
they still werent forthcoming with
less than three weeks to go, you
can see the scale of the problem. In
desperation the wheel rims were
powdercoated at the same time
as the frame and tank, as Nige
puts it, I just had to compromise
somewhere, or it wasnt going to get
done at all. As it turned out, theres
so much more other chrome on the
bike the polychromatic blue works
quite well anywaya deep lustrous
colour that I wrongly assumed had
to be paint to get such a vibrant
candy effect.
With a long motorway run
looming, and with an eye to not
being crushed by an inattentive
European trucker, or failing to stop
himself at short notice, Nige has
made a few concessions to modern
madcap traffic. A decent front tyre,
disc brakes, and indicators were
always going to be in the mix, as
was a remote oil filter, hydraulic
clutch and a belt primary drive
conversion for reliability. The rear
indicators are neatly hidden inside
the marker lights, which have
red LEDs inside them, while the
headlights are a pair of genuine
1972 Lucas Square 8swhich Nige
bought to fit on that very first chop,
but couldnt get to work with the
six-volt system, and had hung onto
ever since.
And there it is done. Dont you

just love it? 40 years of experience
means it sits just right, that
preposterous kicked-out front
balanced by that equally infeasibly
high rear, the cocktail shaker
silencers in perfect alignment
with the genuine period sissy bar
(a look achieved by Nige buying
a huge amount of stainless bends
to get ones that were just right,
echoing the ones on his first chop
in 1972), and the stainless handmade forward controls and narrow
high-rise bars combining with the
genuine 1970s K&Q seat to give
that typical laid-back-man riding
position. Then theres the neat little
touches like the little LED warning
lights set into the top headlight, or
the head-steady in the shape of the
NCC diamond.
Its a remarkable bike, built by
a remarkable man to celebrate a
remarkable occasion. p
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and...
Triple S
Powdercoating
are at Unit
3, Bradware
Industrial Park,
Harris Street,
Bingley, West
Yorkshire, and
their phone
number is 01274
562474.
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To advertise in
call Louise on
01244
881888
ext. 317
or email
advertising@
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TRIKE IT YOULL LIKE IT

South Coast Custom Trike and Bike Builders
Trike conversions from 3,000
Bike in & Trike out Service

Fabrication & Design
Paint work & Artwork
www.bbcustoms.biz
Call in for a chat about your requirements or give us a call for more information.
22 Haviland Road - Ferndown - Dorset - BH21 7RG - 01202 890680 - 07817 779754
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BIKE FEATURE
SUZUKI GSX-R
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SuPerScrImPer
The current crop of TV programmes like Make Do and Mend,

SuperScrimpers, and The Ultimate Guide to Penny Pinching,
among others, would have you believe that its something new to
make something for nothing or very little
wordS & PicS: STEVE TAYLOR
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
ike most of us who read this

mag and build bikes, Zaiph
from NCC Gloucester, the
owner of this ard as nails
Gixer Eleven, would beg
to differ. Hes built his bike on a
shoestring over a couple of years
and has no inclination of doubling
his money, as theyre wont to say;
he loves this bike so much that its
not going to be for salenever ever!
He bought the basic bike around
five years ago from fellow NCC
member, Talkie from Newcastle,
for a measly 450 as a project
bike. It was mainly a frame and an
engine and not much more, and
Talkie was selling it, after thrashing
it around for 15 years or so to help
fund building himself another
bike. Once Zaiphd got it home, he
lopped the then subframe straight
off and fabricated his own
one, much smaller and more
minimal. Theres not a huge
amount of room on it, as
you can see, but he doesnt
care. He has other bikes
with seats designed for
carrying passengers; this
one is built for him and
him only.
He didnt have
to look too far for a
set of running gear
to get it back on its
wheels either. He
had the remains of a
1200 Bandit that hed
scrounged somewhere
propping his garage door
open, so some of this was
utilised, namely the front
end, rear wheel and fuel tank.
The front end went in near
as dammit complete, but the
rear hoop has been mated to the

original Gixer 11 swingarm and
shock not that you can really tell
they came from different sources.
He wanted to keep the bike as
minimal and functional looking
as possible, so all the electrics
have been stripped to their bare
essentials and cleverly hidden
away under the tank; doing away
with the need for side panels or an
electrics box, and really adding to
the engine with a wheel at either
end look he was aiming for.
More scrimping
(environmentally-friendly
recycling, I prefer to call it) was
undertaken when it came to finding
a way of getting the exhaust gases
out of the engine without melting
the valves (or deafening the pilot);

the exhaust is the one that came
with the bike, but Zaiphs cut and
shut it to fit closer to the frame,
tucking it away a little more neatly.
Homemade mesh infill panels
help to bulk out the front of the
Harris-style wraparound frame,
and the Bandit tank adds to the bigshouldered bulldog look that all
the best fighters have.
Similarly the 1052cc Gee-eSeX-aR engine has been left pretty
much as was; the carbs have been
fitted with Ram Air filters and the
jetting played with to suit the new
zorst. The wonderfully-named
Romancing With Rust painted
it blacker than a Conservative
Ministers heart, and fellow club
ThereS noT a huge amounT oF room on

IT, aS You can See, BuT he DoeSnT care.
he haS oTher BIKeS WITh SeaTS DeSIgneD
For carrYIng PaSSengerS; ThIS one IS
BuIlT For hIm anD hIm onlY
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BIKE FEATURE
SUzUKI GSX-R
WorldMags.net
specification
sheet
Engine:
1985 Suzuki GSX-R 1100, rejetted carbs,
Ram Air filters, modified aftermarket
4-1 exhaust
Frame:
Harris-type wraparound by Talkie
(NCC Newcastle), new gussets and
brackets by owner, one-off subframe
by owner, Suzuki Bandit 1200 footrests and hangers
Sharp End:
Suzuki Bandit 1200 wheel/ brakes/
forks/ yokes/ master-cylinder, one-off
stainless handlebars, Custom Chrome
mini speedo
Blunt End:
Suzuki GSX-R 1100 swingarm and
shock, Suzuki Bandit 1200 wheel and
brake, side-mount plate
Tinware:
Suzuki Bandit 1200 front mudguard
and tank, one-off seat by owner,
Kawasaki 1200 hugger rear mudguard
Electrics:
One-off loom by Snuggs (Volgaris
Brotherhood), all electrics under tank,
twin streetfighters headlamps, Lucas
copy tail light
paint:
Black (tank by Stelly, engine by
Romancing With Rust)
powdercoating:
Frame by Stroud Spray Co
Engineering:
One off frame, subframe and brackets
by Talkie and owner
Thanks To:
Snuggs for wiring; Ronny for
powdercoating; Stelly for paint;
and Romancing With Rust for
painting engine
member Stelly did the same with

the Bandit tank, while Ronny at
Stroud Spray Co powdercoated the
frame n other bits for longevity.
Zaiph says that mates and club
members have helped him out
massively during the build, and with
swaps and favours this has resulted
in a machine capable of blasting
up to 160mph and staying with
race-reps in the corners for a meagre
800. That, ladies and gentlemen,
is super-scrimping on a scale that
makes them arty-farty types on the
TV look like amateurs, doesnt it?
Perhaps Zaiph should be presenting
these TV shows, not them!
And the only issue hes had in his
five years of thrashing it was during
a ride out from Down Amney; hed
been doing well over the ton for
most of it but had, luckily, slowed
down to about 50mph when the
rear shock mount let go, resulting
in the subframe slamming into the
rear tyre and locking the wheel (and
his pants to change colour almost
as quickly). Hes keen to point out
though that this wasnt any fault on
either Talkie or his part; the framed
been subjected to the best part of
20 years of serious abuse at this
point, carrying rider and camping
gear all over Europe at speeds that
we wont mention here for fear of
anD WITh SWaPS anD FavourS

ThIS haS reSulTeD In a machIne
caPaBle oF BlaSTIng uP To 160mPh
anD STaYIng WITh race-rePS In The
cornerS For a meagre 800
the boys in blue serge using it as
evidence. No, he reckons, it wasnt a
fault per se, just the inevitable result
of the prolonged use of a home-built
bike in a way many production
bikes dont ever get treated.
He still uses it all the time and
says that, unlike his much more
expensive v-twin, it starts every
time on the button, takes off like a
grenade (although Im not entirely
sure thats a good thing), handles
well, and actually stops. And that,
lads and ladesses, is what its all
about, isnt it? A proper bike that
can be ridden properly. Amen. p
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EVENT FEATURE
BUILTH-FEST
NCC
SOMERSETS FIRST PAST THE POST SHOW
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NCC SOMERSETS FIRST

PAST
THE
POST
SHOW
8 June, The Riverside Inn, Cheddar, Somerset
WoRDS & piCS: BOB
Whether you come at it from north, south, east, or west, Cheddar

in Somerset is picturesque with a capital P on any day of the
year, but on a sunny Saturday in early June it excels
ll memories of a grim winter in all senses

and meanings of the word, and a spring that
never sprang, vanished as I pulled up at the
Riverside Inn. My mood was instantly lifted
by the familiar smiling faces at the gate and
the plethora of bikes that surrounded it; not only
in the pub car park, but in the adjacent public car
park up and down the road and on the pavements in
every direction.
As usual there was quality and quantity. People
seem to make a real effort to get to this show and not
from just the surrounding area; there were folk from
as far as the Midlands and Cornwall in attendance.
A new and most welcome visitor this year was the

Magazine Man; he had more bike mags then you could
shake a bushel of sticks at, and the sheer quantity of
custom titles was mind-boggling. As usual, Joeby, the
talented West Country painter, was in attendance;
pin-striping a kettle no less when I wandered by. Its
long been said that if it stays still long enough hell
paint it, and Im not sure that it isnt true. Also in
attendance was a hard-rocking three-piece band called
Los Pistoleros playing in the courtyard.
Manning the Macmillan stall this year was young
Will as Wendy had another engagement, and he
introduced me to a guy from Coventry called Craig
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whod had a brush with cancer and had received

support from the Foundation. When asked what hed
like for his 40th birthday, he selflessly asked friends
and family for cash to donate. This totalled some
200-odd quid and, having collected it, he promptly
rounded that up to 300 out of his own pocket. Now
he couldve just written a cheque and put it in the
post, but hes made of sterner stuff; he saw the show
advertised in the mag and, as all proceeds made on
the day go to Macmillan, he decided to make the 250mile round trip on his chop to present the money in
person. Top man!
As usual the day was rounded off with the prizegiving, but to single out any bikes for mention is a bit
unfair as they were all top quality. Im going to anyway;
my favourites were Jans steamroller-cum-spacehopper
Sportster (you have to see it to believe it!), and the
VT600 chop built by a young guy from Wiltshire
which was definitely different and refreshing.
All in all, a grand day out. p
he saw the show advertised in the

mag and, as all proceeds made on the
day go to Macmillan, he decided to
make the 250-mile round trip on his
chop to present the money in person
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BIKE FEATURE
SpoRTSTER
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our amY
Its the eternal nightmare of the professional custom
bike builder; no sooner have you built yourself a
bike than some bugger comes along and wants to
buy it off you!
wordS & PicS: NIK modeL: SARAH KAWAII
he motorcycle you see here

in front of you is a case
in point. It was built by
Grub from Black Market
Customs a year or so
back as his own personal
WorldMags.net
wheels, but never quite finished.

Then, one day, a customer, Craig
from NCC Lincs, came down to see
him about getting a bike built, saw
it and fell head-over-heels in lust
with it. Grub somewhat reluctantly
agreed to sell it to him and finish
it to his spec and the result,
ladies and gentlemen, is what
you see here. Nice, innit?
Okay, so weve kind o
skipped forward to the end
of the story without really
starting at the beginning,
havent we, so Id better
explain how it all came about,
hasnt I? Are you sitting
comfortably? Then Ill begin
WorldMags.net
The FacT ThaT She looKS a loT lIKe

The laTe lamenTeD amY WInehouSe
leaD To gruB anD The laDS callIng IT
The amY BIKe, hence The TITle oF ThIS PIece
Grub spotted an unfinished project
with serious potential on one of
his usual trawls of eBay; a one-off
Sportster frame with what looked
like a very nicely made Indianstyle (thats Indian Motocycles,
not Indian sub-continent, natch)
leaf-spring front end for sale at a
very reasonable price. Hed been

looking for a decent leaf-spring
arrangement for a while and had
bought a couple o three from
various places only to find they
werent quite up to the standards
he works to. This one though was
built by a guy from Yorkshire called
Richard who obviously knew his
way around an engineering shop,
and was properly constructed.
It also came with a set of one-off
bars, and an oil tank attached to the
Sporty frame, and so Grub bought
it and set about building himself a
bike around it.
Hed picked up a 1200 Sporty
motor from the good ol US of
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A, so that was slotted in along

with an aftermarket honeycombstyle air-filter and a set of one-off
pipes that were wrapped and
fitted with Biltwell tips. A Dyna
ignition provides the sparks, and
fuel is fed to the stock XL carb
from a modified Dyna fuel tank
with a flush-fitted pop-up fuel
cap. A genuine Harley-Davidson
tractor-style seat was pressed
into service, and Grub cut, shut
and shortened a traditional ribbed
rear muddie and fitted it to stop
road shite from flying up his back.
The rolling stock consists of
a pair of Sportster wheels; the
rear has a DNA sprocket/disc Z
BIKE FEATURE
SpoRTSTER
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The SPorTY, reallY JuST neeDIng PaInT
anD a BIT oF FInIShIng, WaS PuT To
one SIDe anD covereD over WITh
a BlanKeT, WhIle he goT on
WITh oTher ProJecTS
(Im sorry, I cant bring myself

to call it a sprotor; thats far too
American), and the front a stock
Sporty disc with an SJP caliper.
Similarly the headlights an
aftermarket one, and that
rather funky tail light,
which is actually blackits
not a trick of the lightis
another catalogue part too.
(I was going to say that
it immediately put me in
mind of a chocolate starfish,
but perhaps I wont, eh?)
It was at this point it
all stopped. Black Market
Customs had gained a
reputation for building some
rather stunning motorcycles, and
the workshop was getting busier
and busier; so busy in fact that
Grub didnt have time to carry on
with his own bike. The Sporty,
really just needing paint and a bit
of finishing, was put to one side
and covered over with a blanket,
while he got on with other
projects. He did intend to finish it,
but it ended up languishing there,

alone and unloved, for a good few
months while customers builds
took up all his time.
Enter Craig from NCC Lincs.
Hed seen a few Black Market
Customs bikes, both at Club Runs
and in magazines, and having sold
his old-skool GSX-R streetfighter
(rigid frame, tiny tank, fast as
fcuk and totally impractical but
amazingly good fun) was looking
for a replacement for it. There was
just a certain something about
the bikes Grub builds, he says,
something that really appealed
to him, that made him absolutely
certain that he would be making the
trip down to Sussex to commission
a new machine. He duly left the
Wolds and made the long (well,
ish) journey to the Home Counties
where, during conversation, Grub
mentioned that he had the Sporty
over there in a corner. They pulled
the cover off it and Craig did a
remarkably good impersonation
of the cartoon wolf from the Tex
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Avery cartoons; you know, the one

in the suit howling and beating on
the table at the good-looking lady
singing in the nightclub? Yeah,
that one; that was Craig. He knew
straight away that he had to have it,
and so a deal was done.
Between them they thrashed
out how it should be finished; the
frame, and the leaves and front
legs of the fork, would go to PTs
Polishing Shop to be nickel-plated
(along with a few other little bits for
chroming too), and the rear legs, the
tank, rear muddie and the oil tank
would go to Black Markets painter Z
BIKE FEATURE
SPORTSTER
WorldMags.net
specification
sheet
Engine:
Harley-Davidson Sportster 1200,
cleaned up and detailed, aftermarket
honeycomb air-filter, Dyna ignition,
one-off straight-through exhausts by
Black Market Customs
Frame:
One-off rigid by Richard, cleaned
up, nickel-plated by PT, Black Market
Customs forward controls & foot-boards
Sharp End:
Harley-Davidson Sportster 1200
wheel, aftermarket disc, SJP four
pot caliper, one-off Indian-style
leaf spring fork by Richard, braided
stainless brake line, one-off bars by
Richard, aftermarket controls & grips,
one-off micro-switches by Black
Market Customs
Blunt End:
Harley-Davidson Sportster 1200
wheel, DNA sprocket/disc, one-off
side-mount plate
Tinware:
Modified Harley-Davidson Dyna
tank with flush pop-up filler, genuine
Harley-Davidson seat, Black Market
Customs rear mudguard & battery
tray, one-off oil tank by Richard
Electrics:
One-off loom by Grub, aftermarket
headlight and tail light
paint:
Candy red over silver with
airbrushing by Image Design
Custom Ltd (01276 503866)
plating:
PTs Polishing Shop
(01767 631423)
polishing:
PTs Polishing Shop and
Engineering:
Frame, front end, bars
and oil tank by Richard,
stainless spacers by James
NCC Sussex, all other work by
Thanks To:
Grub & all at Black Market Customs;
PT for the plating; Image Design
for the paint; Pilch and Pikey for
inspiration & lager; & my girlfriend
Alison who, not even into bikes, lets
me bore her shitless about mine
of choiceTom Fuller at Image

Design Custom Ltd in Camberley.
He laid down a sparkling silver
base and then drowned it in a deep
red candy, and added on the girland-eight-ball logos on either side
of the tank too. Craigd found the
design on the net and liked it, and
the fact that she looks a lot like the
late lamented Amy Winehouse lead
to Grub and the lads calling it The
Amy Bike, hence the title of this
piece. Finally, adding to the 8-ball
theme, they fitted one to the little
lever down on the primary case that
starts the engine. Cool, huh?
The finished bike is a credit to
all involved; Grub and the crew at
Black Market, PT, Tom at Image
Design Custom, and Craig too. Its
a stunning-looking bike that rides
as well as it looks (Craig blasted
it close on 100 miles each way to
the studio shoot you see here),
and it sounds pretty damn funky
too as anyone who was within
a two-mile radius of Potters
Bar when he started it will
testify well, actually, NOT
testify, hopefully.
And cos
its the end
of the riding
season
and the
ITS a STunnIng-looKIng BIKe

ThaT rIDeS aS Well aS IT looKS
(craIg BlaSTeD IT cloSe on 100
mIleS each WaY To The STuDIo
ShooT You See here)
beginning of the building one,
Craig has decided that he fancies
something new for 2014 so
the Sporty is up for sale to
fund it. If you think you
could give it the home it
deserves, then bell him
on 01406 359015 and
leave a message (he
works odd shifts, you
see). Youd better do it
sharpish though if you
do cos I know Grubs
made noises about
getting it back too! p
WorldMags.net
and
Black Market
Customs are
based down
on the Kent/
Sussex border
and you can
contact them via
blackmarket
customcycles
@gmail.com.
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CRAIG PURVIS LEAFSPRUNG SPORTSTER
Built by Black Market Customs
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SheD heaD
reSurrecTIon, man
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SHedHeAd iS oUr reGULAr Look

AT ALL ASPecTS oF bike bUiLdiNG,
doNe bY oUr reSideNT meTALworkiNG GeNiUS, bLAckJAck
n the last episode, Id dragged

a Virago 125 out of someones
front garden and persuaded
it back to life. There were still
a bunch of things that needed
doing to it to make it rideable, let
alone MoT-able.
Pushing it around was hard
work, so it made sense to deal with
that first. As the biked only done
a little over 6,000 miles and the
sprockets showed no discernible
wear, I decided that all it really
needed was a new chain. Once
the chain was fitted and adjusted,
the wheel was very nearly in the
same position as before, which is
good; if itd been miles out then
that wouldve meant the sprockets
were worn and wouldve had to
have been replaced.
With the back wheel spinning
freely, the next problem was the
front brake sticking. Undoing
the bolts, taking the caliper off
and having a look at the pistons
revealed the probable cause of that
(Fig.1). Its always worth cleaning
the crap off with a Scotch-brite pad
before you get too carried away,
and even though the bike had been
stood for four years that was all the
was needed in this case.
Fig.2
Fig.1
For multi-piston calipers, you

often find that one piston is
more seized than the other, so
a G-clamp comes in handy for
stopping the free piston from
moving while the lever is carefully
pumped to force the stiffer one out
far enough to clean the crud off
(Fig.2). If the caliper wont work
freely after cleaning the crud off,
then theres probably corrosion
behind the seals and its going to
need stripping down.
While I was freeing the pistons
off and checking that the grease
on the slides was okay, I spotted
that the front tyre wasnt looking
too healthy (Fig.3); not a huge deal
as the MoT man would definitely

have spotted that one, but more
expense all the same.
Now that it rolled freely, it
seemed worth buying a battery
for it. Battery technology has
changed a bit in the last few
decades, and batteries that used
to be common and therefore
relatively cheap arent any more.
Stuff that sounds a bit exotic
if youre used to older bikes,
though, is surprisingly cheap,
so doing a little home work can
save you a significant chunk of
money. This is why the Virago
has a WildStar 125 battery in it;
half the price. Z
once The chaIn WaS FITTeD anD aDJuSTeD, The

Wheel WaS verY nearlY In The Same PoSITIon aS
BeFore, WhIch IS gooD; IF ITD Been mIleS ouT Then
ThaT WoulDve meanT The SProcKeTS Were Worn
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SheDWorldMags.net
heaD
Fig.4
Fig.3
Fig.5
Fig.6
IF The calIPer WonT WorK FreelY

aFTer cleanIng The cruD oFF, Then
ThereS ProBaBlY corroSIon
BehInD The SealS anD ITS goIng To
neeD STrIPPIng DoWn
Now that it rolled and stopped

the only remaining obstacle was
that the clutch didnt. When a
bikes been stood for a while, the
clutch plates can stick together
preventing the clutch from
working. This isnt a big deal
and occasionally just getting
the bike up to normal operating
temperature will suffice to free it
off. If youve room available and
youre confident in your ability
to do clutchless gear-changes,
then riding it around with the
clutch in and snatching the back
brake offers the possibility of a
fix (or a perhaps a nasty crash).
As it happened, the clutch on
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the Virago didnt want to play

ball (probably because its not
exactly a torque monster), so
I had to get in there and free it
off. If youve got a manual, then
reading it is a good start; if you
havent, then the first thing to do
is to see what needs to come off
to allow the cover to come off.
Once youre happy about that,
getting the screws undone is
the first problem; factory-fitted
screws appear to made out some
form of zinc-plated cheese and
the heads round off with the least
provocation. Using a pound
through screwdriver that fits
the screw properly, and twisting
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Fig.9
Fig.7
Fig.8
it while hitting the end with a

hammer, usually does the trick I
find (Fig.4).
Most, though probably not all,
Japanese bikes can have the clutch
cover removed without spilling
any oil, as long as theyre on the
side stand and the engine hasnt
been over-filled, but a catch tray
is still a good idea. On the Virago,
the clutch cover houses the oil
filter, so I removed that before
taking the cover off (Fig.5).
With all the screws out, a few
blows with a rubber hammer freed
the cover and that was when I
found out that the fake exhaust pipe
was going to have to come off after
all. With the cover and the fake
pipe off, the clutch was exposed
and I could undo the bolts retaining
the clutch springs (Fig.6).
Usually theres a mark on the
pressure plate and one on the

clutch centre or hub; the arrow you
can see in Fig.8 turned out to be
aligned with a triangular mark on
the hub. Spotting this can save you
hours of fun during reassembly.
Similarly, the top-most clutch
friction plate had a notch in it and
that was lined up with some marks
on the drum (Fig.7).
The plates all pulled out as one,
which isnt surprising as theyre
stuck together. Gently prying with
a plain screwdriver will normally
separate them (Fig.8), noting that
the plain plates have a rounded
edge on one side and that usually
goes in towards the engine (Fig.9).
As long as there arent any
great big chunks missing out of
the friction plates, then cleaning
the plain plates up and putting it
back together should do the job.
When a BIKeS Been STooD For a

WhIle, The cluTch PlaTeS can
STIcK TogeTher PrevenTIng The
cluTch From WorKIng
If there are big chunks of friction
material stuck to the plain plates,
then replacing them is the best
option. Its not hard to bend the
plain plates, which will stop the
clutch from working, so theyre
best cleaned by scrubbing at them
while theyre on a flat surface.
While its all apart, clean all of
the old gasket off the engine and
the cover, taking care not to let
any debris get into the engine.
Id normally skip the gasket and
just use some sealant, but as the
oil ways pass through the cover,
then a gasket is probably sensible,
along with a new oil filter.
Apart from aligning any marks,
the main thing to watch when
reassembling everything is that
the spring retaining bolts are
tight, but dont strip the threads. If
there appears to be blue or white
(or indeed any colour at all) gunk
on the threads, thats probably
thread-lock in which case using
some on reassembly is a good
idea. Having the bolts come loose
and chew through the cover is
embarrassing, expensive, and
possibly painful depending on
where your footrests are
Once its had the tyre fitted,
and Ive bought the gasket, oil
filter and some fresh oil for it,
then thats it about ready for an
MoT. Oddly, all the lights work,
and the forks and swinging arm
seem firmly attached so Im not
expecting that to be a big deal.
Then I just need to figure out what
the hell Im going to do with a
Virago 125 p
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EVENT FEATURE
BUILTH-FEST
NCC
NORTHANTS CUSTOM SHOW
WorldMags.net
NCC NORTHANTS
CUSTOM SHOW
WoRDS & piCS: BEANO
9 June, The Bull, Brackley Road, Towcester
I have to admit that I always get a bit excited about the prospect of visiting
a National Chopper Club event as I know the quality of the machine on
view is always exceptional, and today was no exception
here was wall-to-wall motorcycular eye

candy; a feast of excellence on show. Of
course, it was a bonus that the weather was
perfect for the show; warm, a slight breeze,
sun beating down on all the lovely shiny bits.
My eye was firstly taken by a low custom Harley;
its classic black simplicity enhanced by the simple
addition of copper-plate to the engine cases. Its
such a simple concept, but one that has resulted in
a captivating work of art. Quite frankly I wanted it
and wouldve sold my children without hesitation
just to own it. Thank God I have no children I cant

honestly remember if there was music playing as my
attention was captured by my desire to have a look
at all the bikes and trikes, and ensure that I hadnt
overlooked some exquisite little piece of metalframed diamond loveliness tucked in a corner of the
car park somewhere.
My final word is a big fat thank you to Ted,
Tony, Ivan and the rest of NCC Northants for
top class hospitality and for putting on another
stunning show. p
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My eye was firstly taken by a

low custom Harley; its classic
black simplicity enhanced by
the simple addition of copperplate to the engine cases
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eas
Perfect gift id
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eas
Perfect gift id
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EVENT FEATURE
NCC SUFFOLK SHOW
WorldMags.net
NCC
SUFFOLK
SHOW
14 July, The Bennet Arms, Rougham, Suffolk
WoRDS & piCS: NIK
Despite the fact that Suffolk Chopper Clubs annual

show is barely 20 miles from Chez Samson and has been
going for years, Ive never actually managed to get there
t has, you see, always clashed with Faro and,

as much as Im all for supporting local shows,
when it comes to deciding between Rougham
and Faro... well, sorry chaps, but you see that
fat arse getting on a plane? Thats mine, that is.
This year, though, the show took place the
weekend before me annual jet-off to the sun and
so I wheeled me little black GPZ trike out into the
sunshine, pressed the remote start button on the
key-fob, and set off.
The Bennet Arms is a nice little pub a few miles
outside Bury St Edmunds that has a good-sized
field out back and so, therefore, is ideal for a show.
The Club had managed to get hold of a curtain-sider
trailer to put the band, Rattleshack, on, and set up
a little barbecue over in one corner, and whoeverd
been in charge of booking the sunshine for the day
had certainly done whatever was required to ensure
the celestial orb radiated its

love down on us man. All
that was needed now was
some motorbikes
Thankfully NCC Suffolk
have a good rep in the local
area and so the bikes came.
And came. And came.
Pretty soon the field was almost full to capacity, and
a hell of a lot of the visitors were on customs. The
So Low Choppers lads were out in force, and so it
seemed were the majority of Suffolks trikers; there
were more desirable three-wheelers on site than Ive
seen at a non-trike show in quite a long time. There
were two ex-Biker cover bikes there too; Ems baby
blue bobber from a few issues back, and Murrells
Arley from a couple o years ago. My personal
favourite though, excluding my trike of course, was
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whoeverd been in charge of

booking the sunshine for the day
had certainly done whatever was
required to ensure the celestial orb
radiated its love down on us man
a very orange little Triumph with springers that was
just gorgeous.
As the afternoon passed, the band played
and, considering that they looked and sounded
suspiciously rockabilly, werent half bad at all.
The burgers were good, the queues at the bar were
bearable, and all around folk were just chilling or,
in some cases, snoozing on the grass. It was, as
you can imagine, damn pleasant and, assuming
the dates dont clash again next year, somewhere I
shall be visiting again. p
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BIKE FEATURE
KAWASAKI ZX10
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eXTremISum
Few people out there can be unaware of the existence of
the legendary Twizzle from Twizzle Customs; the man
who, without fail, comes up with the maddest custom
bikes in British custom biking history
wordS: NIK PicS: HELENE
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ooking back over his long and

illustrious career, some of the
most wonderfully mental bikes
ever to grace this fair land
have come from his workshop
in Dorset; The Beast, Rabid, Ion,
Horny, Enigma and others.
His new bike, Extremisum (a
suitably steampunk name for it, I
think youll agree), was inspired by
the American rusty ratrod look, and
is his take on a bike version of it.
It is, as you can see, a Twizzle bike
through and through; amazingly,
barkingly, stupefyingly insane with
just a touch of twisted genius about
it. It may not be to your personal
taste, but that doesnt really
matterits not your bike, is it?
He actually made the very
Twizzle double tube frame a few
years ago but never got round to
using it for anything, and in fact,
the whole bike was constructed
from parts that he had laying
around in his workshop (or man
cavern, as he calls it). Twizz
is, as many of us are, a hoarder
par excellence, and his place
is a veritable Aladdins cave of
motorcycling treasures, containing
such gems as a 107-inch Evo
engine and an extremely rare (and
unfired!) two-litre Harman Street
Shovel lump, as well as a host of
Hinckley Triumph and Japanese
motors, including his old reversed
head GSX1100ET from The Beast
and, relevantly, two Kawasaki
ZX10 engines. And it was these
that were to provide the basis for
the plant that powers the bike you
see here in front of you.
Ysee, hes borrowed his good
friend Budgies legendary megarat Gaspode a few times over the

years since he built the frame for it
20-odd years ago and has always
been impressed with its ZX10
motor. What Budge doesnt know
about them is probably not worth
knowing so Twizz gave him both
of his Ten engines and asked him
to build one good one out of the
pair. Budge stripped em both,
matched up the best bits, put in
new gaskets and seals throughout
regardless of whether they were
needed or not, and then handed
him back a stonker of an engine.
The only problem was as the
double tube frame wasnt built
to suit a ZX10 engine and didnt
have enough clearance to fit the
downdraught carbs. Again taking
a cue from Budge, Twizz made up

four little billet inlet stubs, and
used 45-degree shortened radiator
hoses as rubbers, to connect a set
of GPZ900R carbs.
Yokes were next and the
scalloped wing-style ones here he
actually made several years back.
He had some legs that fitted them
(he cant remember what theyre
off), and he slotted a ZZR600 wheel
in between them. The ZZR discs
were shot, but as he needed to
make disc spacers anyway he just
used a set of something else that
he had and made the spacers fit
them. The yokes are actually pilot
drilled for risers, but he didnt have
any knocking around so decided
to mount the one-off bars directly
to the stanchions. Problem solved,
The ruST WaS achIeveD BY PaInTIng all The

raW STeel ParTS WITh a SalT WaTer mIX (one
Whole PounD oF SalT To each KeTTle oF WaTer),
Done everY couPle oF WeeKS unTIl he WaS
comPleTelY haPPY WITh The looK
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BIKE FEATURE
KAWASAKI ZX10
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specification
sheet
Engine:
Kawasaki ZX10, one-off carb
manifolds, Kawasaki GPZ900 carbs
and radiator, one-off exhausts, oneoff expansion tank
Frame:
One-off double-tube hardtail, oneoff hand-machined tapered billet
forward controls with Honda Blackbird
17mm master-cylnder & one-off billet
stainless reservoir
Sharp End:
Kawasaki ZZR 600 wheel, unknown
discs, four-pot Tokico calipers,
unknown forks, one-off yokes, oneoff brake lines, one-off adjustable
handlebars, unknown master-cylinder,
Britax Clubmans main/dip twist-switch
with horn button, unknown controls,
one-off hand-machined billet grips
Blunt End:
Kawasaki GPZ900R wheel & disc, remachined Kawasaki ZX10 carrier, fourpot Tokico caliper, one-off torque arm
Tinware:
Modified dual Vision Designs fuel tanks,
modified cast iron tractor seat with
leather pad, one-off rear mudguard,
one-off side-mount plate holder
Electrics:
One-off loom by Budgie, twin 5.5-inch
Bates headlight shells with one-off
hand-machined billet inserts, one-off
hand-machined billet tail light
paint:
No
Engineering:
Tanks by Vision Design, seat pad by
Ian, all other work by owner
Thanks To:
Budgie for sorting the wires & doing
the engine work; my mate Ian for
making the leather seat pad; & Helene
for sorting the pictures
and it allows a massive 7.5 inches

of height adjustment too.
Right, nextthe tanks. Twizz
has always been a fan of the Vision
Designs Dragon tanks, but could
never afford one. He did, though,
manage to do a deal to make a set of
gothic style girder forks in exchange
for a pair. They duly went on the
shelf and then, while building the
ratrod, he placed one on the top
tube. It looked good but, somehow,
not quite right. He decided to use
both, and modified them, extending
the fronts and filling the tunnels
flush with the bottoms to get
more juice in. They now hold 26
worth of fuel and give him a much
better range than the seven-pint
(thats right, seven-pint!) originals.
Similarly, the tractor seatit looked
good, but wasnt practical (very
awkward to get both feet down at
lights), so he cut away the sides and
its now perfect.
And the rust? Well, it was
achieved by painting all the raw
steel parts with a salt water mix
(one whole pound of salt to each
kettle of water), done every couple
of weeks until he was completely
happy with the look. This winter
he may drop a couple of coats of
clear lacquer over it to seal it in if
he doesnt sell it first.
Yep, thats right, this most
original of custom bikes is up for
sale at just 3,500, which is an
absolute bargain when you consider
he DecIDeD To uSe BoTh oF Them,

anD moDIFIeD Them, eXTenDIng
The FronTS anD FIllIng The
TunnelS FluSh WITh The BoTTomS
To geT more JuIce In
the work thats gone into it. The
whole thing is handmade (there
isnt room here to list every single
one-off part) and its all knocked
up by Twizz on his very basic
machines in the cave; no bought-in
or CNCd components here! It is, he
says, certainly the most commented
on and most attention-grabbing
bike hes ever built; it draws crowds
everywhere he stops, and hes lost
count of the number of times its
been photographed by gobsmacked
passers-by. As the man himself
says, love it or hate it, no-one can
deny its different. We here at
Biker think its amazing, and long
may you continue to produce bikes
that push back the boundaries of
custom biking, Twizz! p
and...
Contact Twizzle
through his
website at
www.twizzle
customs.co.uk,
by email at
twizzlecustoms
@gmail.com
or through
Facebook.
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EVENT FEATURE
ANNIVERSARY RUN
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ANNIVERSARY RUN
WoRDS: NIK piCS: NIK & NCC
August Bank Holiday,

Cublington, Bedfordshire
All summer long Id been bumping into

Chopper Club members who told me that I
had to get to the August Run as it was really
going to be mega. They werent kidding
he NCC bought their own bit of land near

Cublington in Bedfordshire some 25 years ago,
and have been holding events there ever since.
Its a good sized field just off a sleepy back road
and well, it seemed like a good sized field
until the August Run anyway; then it was rammed
so full of bikes that it appeared quite small. It isnt, of
course; there were just a hell of a lot of folk there!
The Clubd had to make the decision, wisely I
think, to seperate it into a bike parking area and a
tent area in order to get everyone in. And both of
them were packed to the gunnels toothe camping
area was so tight it was a bit of a mither to find
somewhere to put up even my tiny tent by the time I
arrived Saturday evening. And as for the bike park...
wow, just fcuking wow!
I can honestly say,

hand on heart, that
I have never seen so
many custom bikes
in one place at one time. There were just so many
that it almost blew my mind. Everywhere you looked
there were chops, lowriders, fighters, trikes, bobbers,
cut-downs, matt blackers, ultra-shinies, gaudilypainted bikes, restrained and understated ones, murals
and flames, towering exhaust stacks and sissybars,
massive ape-hangersthe whole gamut of the custom
bike scene, all in one field at one time. I was like a kid
in a sweet shop (something I overheard more than a
few other folk say that weekend too); I didnt know
where to look first. I had intended to, when I arrived,
get in, put me tent up and then have a wander around
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the bikes, but the moment I passed the gate that plan
went out of the window; by time Id eventually found
somewhere to park The Future Bike (no small task in
itself there were that many bikes there), all I wanted to
do was run this way and that going look at that and
that and that and, fcuking hell, that and that
to myself like some sort of eejit. When the Sunday
Rideout, which Ill talk about in a moment, went, Im
told, there were 86 chops left on site belonging to those
working or who couldnt be arsed to go for the ride. 86?
Thats an incredible number! The Beaulieu Custom
Show, one of the biggest and best events of the year,
didnt have 86 entrants, yet there were more customs
than that left in the field at this! Mindblowing!
And if the sheer number and diversity of the bikes
didnt completely overload your senses alone, then
I can honestly say, hand on heart,

that I have never seen so many
custom bikes in one place at one time
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EVENT FEATURE
ANNIVERSARY RUN
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walking into the main marquee wouldve definitely

finished you off. There were three smaller marquees
up front with tables, a display wall of pics from
previous runs and a make-shift photographic studio,
and then you went through a darkened corridor to
the main one out back. The only way I can describe
this to you is that it was a nightclub thats probably
the best way of putting it. You entered up a shallow
ramp and directly in front of you was an area with
tables and, in front of that, a huge dance floor and the
massive stage with its ramps for riding bikes on and
off, and a huge pro-quality lighting rig. To each side,
up a couple of steps, were more tables and a full length
bar with enough bar staff to keep even this ready to
party crowd supplied with beer with nary a wait. It
was, I have to say, THE most professional set-up Ive
seen in 20-plus years of attending bike events around
the world; the sort of thing youd see at Daytona or
Sturgis, but there it wouldve been a permanent thing
in a building, not one built for a weekend in a field!
And, of course, such a big rig required a big line-up to do

it justice. It got one too; on Friday, Los Pistolas kicked
off play with a high energy rockabily set, and they were
followed by classic rock from Bad Penny. Saturday
afternoon kicked off with bluegrass from Papa Truck,
a wandering set from TV mariachi band (yep, them off
the Doritos advert) Jalisco Mariaci (and their tequila
girls!), and pop songs in a rock stylee by The Men From
Uranus (its okay, youre meant to snigger).
Saturday night saw a great set of ska-tinged pop
covers from Sultans of Swings, classic rock from Pearl
Handled Revolver, and headliners Kingsize who blasted
out an amazing ska set that had the place bouncing. Im
not usually a fan of ska, but even I enjoyed this lot. And
Sunday evening kicked off with lounge skiffle from
The Ploughmen, a storming set from the legendary
Blockheads (as in Ian Dury & The), burlesque
naughtiness from Bruise Violet, and late night boglin
shenanigans from folk-rock gods, Leatherat. That, ladies
n gentlemen, was a line-up worthy of the stage!
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It was the sort of thing youd see

at Daytona or Sturgis, but there
it wouldve been a permanent
thing in a building, not one built
for a weekend in a field!
What I was most looking forward to, though, was

the ride-out on Sunday. The Club had arranged to go
down into nearby Aylesbury to add the spectacle of
probably the biggest gathering of custom bikes in the
UK to the festival day that was going on in the town.
Something like 2,500 bikes (apparently) gathered for
the ride, and from where I watched and took pictures
there were certainly a fcuking lot of them, thats for
sure. It mustve taken them a good 1520 mins to pass
my vantage spot on the outskirts of Aylesbury, and
they completely over-ran the car park arranged for
them in town too. Hundreds of passers-by stopped
and gaped at the rows and rows of chromed, painted
and polished machines glinting in the sunlight, and I
cant say I blame them; it really was something to see.
And that was that; the NCCs 40th Birthday Bash.
Thanks to Murrells and NCC Suffolk for the invitation,
much appreciated! Can I come to the 50th too please? p
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aT one oF The
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an in-DepTh look
e inDusTry
n
o
S
Y
F
n
Ia
r
Biker inside
leaDinG FiGures oF Th
-coming trike builders,

Ian Fyson is the man behind up-and Suffolk
in
Hyper Trikes, based in Lakenheath
yper Trikes is based in

a little, out of the way
workshop, and not only
builds trikes, but repairs
and services them too. Ian
also works on bikes, fettling them
and setting them up, and theres
not much he cant turn his hand to.
aT whaT aGe DiD you GeT
inTo bikes?
I suppose I was about nine or ten.

My dad used to look after and tune
racing karts and also grasstrack
bikes, and he used to say go and

take it round the paddock and
run it in a little for them, but dont
go over so many revs. Dad was
an engineer; he used to make
helicopter rotors when he was in
the Navy, and he used to race bikes
on the side, hillclimbing an that.
My first bike was a Riley Wisp,
if you could call it a bikeit had
wheels. It was a pedal n go, and
it did about 22mph and felt like it
took a week to get it started. I had
a few bikes then, and my favourite
A mate, Rabbit, took me out on his V8 and it

was nice, made a nice noise, but I was sure I
could build something quicker out of a bike
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was a Triumph Trophy 250. My

first road bike was a KTM Le Mans
50, remember them? Clip-on bars,
bum-stop seat, really long tank?
Like an old Yamaha racebike? I did
it bright orange! I then had a GS550,
a couple of Hondas including a
CBX550, a 750 Katana, and then
I bought a newat the time
GSX600 and fell in love with it.
WorldMags.net
Bik
er insider
which is your FavouriTe bike

youve builT? anD why?
I love Little Six as that was my first

one and Ill never sell it, but my
favourite is probably the SRAD 750;
that was the first really fast one
anD whaT was your
FirsT cusTom?
That wouldve been an MB50

Honda; I put an H100 engine in it
and we used to use it for playing
tag in the woods! I then got into
trikes; Id always liked the look
of them, but had heard that they
didnt handle so shied away
from them. Then a mate, Rabbit,
took me out on his V8 and it was
nice, made a nice noise, but I was
sure I could build something
quicker out of a bike. He told me
I was talking shite, and I had to
concede that he was right cos Id
never built anything like that at
all. That was in 2005, and about
Christmas time I went into the
shed and set about my GSX600
and built my first trike; Little
Six (the blue one in the photos).
Im winning at the momentmy

R1 took Fastest Trike at the
Bulldog last year, and Ive run 12
seconds dead on both it and my
SRAD trike on the drag strip.
Heroes? Well, there are lots
of people I admire for their
engineering skills; Steve Taylor
at Taylormade for his wheels and
stuff, and Pointy Hat Wizard
Fabrication for their frames and
the neatness of their welding.
I like trikes that go fast and handle,

thats my bag. Ive built cruisers; a
nice little 750 Virago for a lady in
Bury St Edmunds, and a GTR1000,
but I like sports bikes for myself. I
love Little Six as that was my first
one and Ill never sell it, but my
favourite is probably the SRAD
750; that was the first really fast
one. Its been off the road for a
couple of years after I blew it up,
but its coming back out next year
with a blow-through turbo on it
cos I want to break down into the
11-second bracket on the drag strip.
where Do you see cusTom bike
builDinG GoinG in The FuTure?
Well, as long as they dont ban it,

I think therell always be a place
for it. As long as there are people
out there who want to be different,
therell always be people like me
who can make it for them.
My next project for me is a
tadpole trike, a reverse trike,
with two wheels at the front; Ive
heard people say how well they
handle and as Ive not ridden or
built one yet, Id better get on
and find out what theyre talking
about, hadnt I?
Hyper Trikes
can be
contacted
through their
Facebook page
(Hyper Trikes)
or at their
phone number
which is 07933
734833. Be
patient if you
ring, though;
once hes got
his head stuck
into a job, Ian
doesnt stop
work to answer
the phone.
He will always
ring you back
though!
where Do you FinD your

inspiraTion? who are
your heroes (bikinG or
oTherwise)?
A lot of my inspiration comes

from my dad; trying to build
something that was better than
what he could build. Its been a bit
of a competition between us as to
who could build the quickest and
best-handling trikes ever since.
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ers
d
il
u
B
e
k
ri
T
r
ie
m
re
P
s
e
ir
h
s
York
ns
io
rs
e
v
n
o
c
e
ik
tr
to
e
ik
b
c
e
p
High s
Trikes For Sale
2008 Harley Davidson 883

Sportster Low Trike
Panther Trike standard conversion

completed in 2010 with the bike having
only covered 300 miles. The trike has
now only covered 2600. It has had one
owner from new and is in very good
condition. Extras fitted include wind
shield and luggage rack. POA
1996 Harley Davidson

Heritage Springer
Has new Panther Trike full body

conversion. This is a beautiful
looking trike and has covered
less than 6000 miles. It is fitted
with a reverse gear and Harley
Davidson sound system.
POA
2004 Harley Davidson Electra Panther Trikes Special

Custom built trike from the ground up.
Glide Ultra Classic
Has new Panther Trike full body
conversion with full specification
including reverse gear and new
running boards with day running
lights. One owner from new and
has covered only 22,000 miles.
POA
This trike was built in 2011 using a

Harley Davidson frame and is fitted
with a 1340 Evo Panhead converted
engine with full Harley Davidson
transmission. Finished in pearl white,
lots of chrome and genuine cow hide
seats. This is a one off special. POA
Telephone: 01924 235655 Email: info@dtbpanthertrikes.co.uk
www.dtbpanthertrikes.co.uk
Unit 4, Valley Road Business Park, Liversedge, West Yorkshire WF15 6JY
Opening hours: 9-5pm Monday - Thursday & 9-4pm Fridays.

Open weekends by prior arrangement.
Finance can be arranged subject to status, terms & conditions.
All major cards accepted
Follow us on FacebookWorldMags.net
and Twitter
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The MAG BiT!
Fighting For Riders Rights
The WorlD oF
rIDerS rIghT?
N
iks introduction
to this piece every
issue always says
the same thing; the
latest news from the world of
riders rights so I suppose Id
better say something about
that then, hadnt I?
Youll be pleased to know that
MAG here in the UK is not alone
in fighting for what we believe
in; the right to ride our bikes
how we like without some tosser
trying to take that right away.
There are similar organisations
in Sweden, France, Belgium,
Holland, and most other
European countries, most of
which started along the same
lines as MAG. In America, there
is ABATE (American Bikers
Aimed Toward Education);
theres nothing much in Russia
yet, but then the political climate
isnt that great for dissent, even
though theyve just reduced the
Greenpeace activists charges
from piracy to hooliganism.
In Europe, MAG is quite a
major stakeholder in FEMA,
the Federation of European
Motorcyclists Associations
based in Brussels. Im quite
proud of the fact that MAG was
one of the founders of FEM
(and for the most part, funded
its early years), which started
in 1988 and went on to become
FEMA four years later after
merging with EMA.
Looking on the FEMA website
(www.fema-online.eu) youll
find their history (too much for
me to go into here) and youll
also see a picture of a 30-year-old
Neil Liversidge (probably MAGs
most well-known faceapart

from Mr Mutch, of course) along
with Simon Milward, FEMAs
general secretary; sadly he died
in Mali while undertaking the
Millennium Ride in 2005, raising
money for Motorcycle Outreach
and Mdecins Sans Frontires.
FEMA membership now
consists of 24 organisations
in 19 different countries. It
isnt something that you can
join individually, but if youre
a member of MAG or the
BMF in this country, youre
automatically a member. The
organisations all pay towards
the upkeep of the office and
staff, making sure we have
a voice in Europe. Love or
loathe the EU, you cant get
away from the fact that its
where most of our laws come
from, whether its our driving
licence directives or whether
or not children under eight can
blow up balloons seriously,
according to an EU directive,
its illegal for a child under eight
to blow up balloons!
Obviously, FEMA, and most
of its member organisations,
have been hit by the recession;
the weather has affected most of
MAGs events this past couple of
years too. We will still help out
where we can, and were asking
people, when they see a MAG
stand at a show or whatever, to
chuck a quid into a collecting
bucket. Nothing major.
Especially, as a quid will hardly
be missed by most people. It
wont even get you half a pint of
beer these days. Better still, join
MAG while youre at it.
love or loaThe The eu, You canT geT aWaY

From The FacT ThaT ITS Where moST oF
our laWS come From
Talking of Simon Milward, by

the time you read this, MAG
members Doug Smith and
Max Jowett from Devon will be
back from their expedition to
Mali, where they went to find
Simons Tree; a baobab tree on
which a memorial plaque had
been attached, as it was close to
where Simon died. They made
the journey in record time and
found the tree (carving their
names into it) and putting up
their own plaque.
Max owns both Devon and
the new East Sussex branch
of Wheels 2 Work, a scheme
that enables young people, or
those who cant afford to buy
a car, the means to get on the
road by renting a bike or a
scooter for an affordable weekly
fee (along with all the kit and
regular servicing). Its a better
idea than relying on very poor
public transport, like most
people have to who live in rural
areas. Membership of the East
Sussex scheme now includes
automatic MAG membership
as both W2W and MAG value
the importance of getting young
people on two wheels; without
new blood coming into biking,
were going to be in trouble in a
few years. Were not getting any
younger, are we!
mitch (or John

Mitchell, to give
him his proper
name) has
been a member
of MAG since
1999 and
was elected
as National
Chairman in
April this year.
Hes the
proud owner
of a Triumph
Speed Triple,
which he rides
everywhere,
and is a
member of
CAMRA whod
love MAG
to have the
same number
of members.
Heres hoping!
NeveR iN the Field oF humaN tRaNspoRt have so maNy beeN RepReseNted by so Few
WorldMags.net
www.100-biker.co.uk
www.100-biker.co.uk||issue
issue 160
175 | 100% Biker | 67
WorldMags.net
7th dec: Spannered Folk/Punk
Night with the Roughneck Riot
at Friars Court, Warrington,
Cheshire. Tickets 5 on door.
More info from Facebook.
7th dec: Easyriders Christmas
Bash at the Trojan Rooms,
Whitley Bay with Bessie
& The Zinc Buckets. More
info from 07896 210715.
100% Biker brings you the best upcoming

events for your diary
limit the info we can print
Due to the sheer number of events weve had to
contact details, Im afraid,
and
price
ticket
,
location
name,
date,
the
just
to
to make sure we can get
and if we do it like this we can do our damndest
well keep listing them!
and
in
them
sending
Keep
in.
events
es
everyon
r Court, Sealand Road,
Send em to Rally Weekend, 100% Biker, 1 Marche
er.co.uk.
100-bik
editor@
to
em
email
or
6BS,
CH1
,
Chester
novemBer
23rd Nov-1st dec:
Motorcycle Live at The NEC,
Birmingham. More info from
www.motorcyclelive.co.uk.
24th Nov: Ariel Day (50th
Golden Arrow & 60th MK2
Square Four) at the Ace
Cafe London, Ace Corner,
North Circular Road,
Stonebridge, London. More
info from 020 8961 1000 or
www.ace-cafe-london.com.
24th Nov: Huddersfield
Autojumble at the Old
Market Building, Brook
Street, Huddersfield,
Yorks (next to Tesco). 10
am start. More info from
01773 819154 or www.
phoenixfairs.jimdo.com.
24th Nov: Broom Farm Toy
Run from Legoland Windsor
at noon. Please bring
unwrapped gifts 0-16 years.
30th Nov: Unwanted MCCs
Pre Toy Run Party at The
Rockbar, Shobnall Sports
& Social Club, Shobnall Rd,
Burton on Trent, Staffs.
Free camping. More info
from 07761 931226 or www.
unwantedmcc.co.uk.
DecemBer
1st dec: Ace Cafe Club
Day at the Ace Cafe
London, Ace Corner, North
Circular Road, Stonebridge,
London. More info from
020 8961 1000 or www.
ace-cafe-london.com.
1st dec: Burton on

Trent Toy Run from the
Burton on Trent, Staffs
at 9.30am. Tickets 5 per
bike plus pressie. More
info from 07761 931226 or
wwwunwantedmcc.co.uk.
1st dec: Vesperados SCs
Childrens Cancer Charity Ride
from Henry Boddingtons,
Bolton Road, Swinton,
Manchester at 12.15pm. Please
bring toys. More info from
vesperados@hotmail.co.uk.
1st dec: Motorcycle Toy
Run for the Golden Lions
ChildrensTrust from
Motorcycle Worshop, Old
London Road, Bolney,
Sussex at 10.30am. Please
bring new, unwrapped toys.
1st dec: Whitstable Toy Run
Associations Bikers Toy Run
from the Gorrell Tank Car
Park opposite Whitstable
Harbour, Whitstable, Kent
at 2pm. Please bring an
unwrapped toy for children
aged 0-16 years. More info
from 07979 928702.
7th dec: Highway Hunters
MCCs Xmas Party at
the Golden Hind, Nacton
Road, Ipswich, Suffolk.
Tickets 5. More info
from 07599 960188.
7th dec: Rufforth
Autojumble at Rufforth Park,
Wetherby Road, Wetherby,
Yorks. Tickets 4. More info
from 01904 738620 or www.
rufforthautojumble.com.
7th dec: Exeter MAGs

Christmas Party at The
Kings, Cowick Street,
Exeter, Devon. Tickets 7.50
including food. More info
from derek.lovell@gmail.com.
7th dec: Bear Town
Bikers Christmas Party at
Astbury Village Hall, Peel
Lane, Congleton, Cheshire.
Tickets 4, 100 limit. More
info from 07528 512496.
8th dec: Bike Day at the
Ace Cafe London, Ace
Corner, North Circular Road,
info from 020 8961 1000 or
8th dec: Coffinscratchers
MCCs Christmas Toy Run
from the Victoria Bikers Pub,
Whitwick Road, Coalville,
Leics at 9.45am. Please
bring presents for kids. More
info from 07802 472766
or triker36@msn.com.
8th dec: Reading Christian
Motorcyclists 28th Reading
Toy Run from the Foster
Wheeler, Reading (formerly
Berkshire Shire Hall), next to
J11 M4 at 1pm. Please bring
new unwrapped toys suitable
for children of any age. More
info from 0118 978 7095 or
www.readingtoyrun.org.
13th dec: Calne Bike Meets
Presentation Evening at
the Liberal Club, Oxford
Road, Calne, Wilts. Tickets
8. More info from www.
calnebikemeet.com.
14th dec: Scoundrels RSCs
Double Birthday Party at the
Tap & Barrel, Dean Lane,
Bedminster,
Bristol. Free
entry. More info
from Facebook.
14th dec:
Unwanted MCCs
Christmas Party
at the Rockbar,
Shobnall Sports
& Social Club,
Shobnall Rd,
Burton on Trent,
Staffs. Tickets 5.
WorldMags.net
More info from 07988 521400

or www.unwantedmcc.co.uk.
14th dec: Future MCCs
Christmas Party at the
Railway Inn, Belper, Derbys.
Free entry. More info from
www.future-mcc.co.uk.
15th dec: Xmas Toy Run at
10am at the Ace Cafe London,
Ace Corner, North Circular
Road, Stonebridge, London.
More info from 020 8961 1000
or www.ace-cafe-london.com.
15th dec: Normous Newark
Autojumble at the Newark &
Notts Showground, junction
A1/A46. More info from 01507
529470 or www.pff-uk.info.
15th dec: Trike Day at The
Cross Keys, Main Road,
Henley, Ipswich, Suffolk. More
info from 07873 777253.
15th dec: Star Bikers Stoke
on Trents Toy Run from
the Britannia Stadium, Stoke
on Trent, Staffs at 10.30am.
Tickets 2 per bike plus new
unwrapped toy. More info from
www.stokebikeruns.co.uk.
21st dec: Suds & Sycles
MCCs Chrimbo Bash at the
Royal Small Arms Angling
Club, Ramney Marsh, Lea
Road, Waltham Abbey,
Essex. Free entry. More
info from Facebook.
22nd dec: Paws n Claws
Pet Food Run at 10am at
the Ace Cafe London, Ace
info from 020 8961 1000 or
22nd dec: Xmas Carol Service
at 7pm at the Ace Cafe
London, Ace Corner, North
Circular Road, Stonebridge,
London. More info from
020 8961 1000 or www.
ace-cafe-london.com.
26th dec: Cold Turkey Meet
at the Ace Cafe London, Ace
WorldMags.net

info from 020 8961 1000 or
27th dec: Mods & Rockers
Night at the Victoria Bikers
Pub, Whitwick Road, Coalville,
Leics. Tickets 5. More
www.vicbikerspub.co.uk.
29th Jan: Bike Day at the
Ace Cafe London, Ace
info from 020 8961 1000 or
29th dec: Huddersfield
Autojumble at the Old
Market Building, Brook Street,
Huddersfield, Yorks (next to
Tesco). 10 am start. More info
from 01773 819154 or www.
phoenixfairs.jimdo.com.
31st dec: New Years Eve
Party at the Ace Cafe London,
Ace Corner, North Circular
Road, Stonebridge, London.
More info from 020 8961 1000
or www.ace-cafe-london.com.
31st dec: Unwanted MCCs
New Years Eve Party at the
Tickets 6. More info
from 07988 521400 or
wwwunwantedmcc.co.uk.
31st dec: New Years Eve
Party at the Victoria Bikers
Pub, Whitwick Road, Coalville,
Leics. Tickets 10. More
www.vicbikerspub.co.uk.
31st dec-1st Jan: Resolution
Resurrection Rally at the Rose
& Crown, Southport Road,
Ulnes Walton, Preston, Lancs.
Tickets 15 prebook, buy 10
get 1 free, 200 limit. More
info from 01257 367009.
JanuarY
18th Jan: Unwanted MCCs
14th Birthday Party at The
Free entry. More info from
07988 521400 or www.
unwantedmcc.co.uk.
24-26th Jan: Ogri
MCCs Kickstart Rally
at Kemble Airfield, near
Cirencester, Glos. Tickets
12.50. More info from
www.ogrimcc.org.
SUBSCRIBE
& SAVE OVER
25%
*
24-26th Jan: BSE MAGs

Mad Cow Rally at the
British Sugar Sports &
Social Club, Hollow Road,
Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk.
Tickets 12 prebook or 16
on gate. More info from
07572 113585 or Facebook.
25th Jan: Shoulder of
Mutton MCCs Christmas
Party at Pinxton Miners
Welfare, Wharf Road,
Pinxton, Notts. More
info from Facebook.
FeBruarY
7-9th Feb: Dangermouse
RCs 28th Frozen Nuts
Rally at Bignall End Cricket
Club, Boon Hill Road,
Bignall End, Stoke on
Trent, Staffs. Tickets 12
prebook or 15 on gate.
More info from 07756
311465 or www.dmrc.co.uk.
15th Feb: Unwanted MCCs
St. Valentines Party at The
Rockbar. Shobnall Sports
& Social Club. Shobnall Rd.
Tickets 5. More info from
07988 521400 or www.
unwantedmcc.co.uk.
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WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
Blithbury Reindeer Lodge,
Uttoxeter Road, Blithbury,
Rugeley, Staffs. Tickets 15
prebook or 20 on gate,
350 limit, badge for first
200 prebook. More info from
To lisT your
evenT here
email Nik on
editor@100biker.co.uk
18-21st April: East Leeds Lions

MCCs Easter Rally. More info
from www.eastleedslions.co.uk.
maY
2-4th may: Rising Moon MCCs
Totally Tartan Rally at Witton
Albion FC, Wincham Park,
Chapel Street, Northwich,
Cheshire. Tickets 10 prebook,
300 limit. More info from
07955 859476 or www.
risingmoonrally.co.uk.
10th may: Margam Knights
MCCs Bike Show at the
Twelve Knights Hotel, Margam,
Port Talbot, South Wales.
march
14-16th march: Well Oiled
MCCs 3rd Oil Ya Nuts Rally at
Burnley Rugby Club, Holden
Road, Reedley, Burnley,
Lancs. Tickets 10 prebook or
12 on gate, 150 limit. More
info from 07725 859239.
15th march: Unwanted MCCs
St Patricks Shamrock Party at
the Rockbar, Shobnall Sports
Burton on Trent, Staffs. More
www.unwantedmcc.co.uk.
aPrIl
16-18th may: Show Us Your

Nuts 4. Tickets 10 prebook
or 15 on gate. More info from
30th may-1st June:
Rorkes Drift Rally at a
site in Brecon. More info
from Facebook or www.
rorkesdriftrally.moonfruit.com.
June
6-8th June: Eagles MCCs
Swamp Donkey Rally at
Colsterworth Sports &
Social Club, Old Post Lane,
Woolsthorpe by Colsterworth,
Grantham, Lincs. Tickets 12
prebook or 15 on gate, 250
limit. Tel 07873 513522.
4-6th April: Fat Skeletons

Blues & Bikes Weekend at
Cadbourne Parva, Lincs.
Tickets 15 prebook only.
More info from www.
bluesandbikesweekend.co.uk.
8th June: Southampton

MAGs Bike Show at
Stoneham Park Sports
Club, Stoneham Lane,
Eastleigh, Hamps. More
info from 01489 785979.
11-13th April: Tazs 10th Hic

Bibi Rally at the Red Herring,
Coppull, Chorley, Lancs.
Tickets 12 prebook. More
info from 01257 791366.
13-16th June: Raptors MCCs

Jurassic Rally at the Scout
Camp, Sandygate Lane,
Horbing, Sleaford, Lincs.
Tickets 12 prebook only.
More info from 07774 764881.
18-20th April: Unwanted MCCs

Ride In Rally at the Rockbar.
Shobnall Sports & Social
Club, Shobnall Rd, Burton on
Trent, Staffs. Free entry. More
www.unwantedmcc.co.uk.
18-20th April: Roadrunners,
Revellers & Get Knotted MCCs
Three Tribes Easter Rally at
4-6th July: Highway Hunters

MCCs Summer Party at
the Greyhound, Tibenham,
Norfolk. Tickets 16 prebook
or 20 on gate. More info
from 07599 960188 or www.
highwayhuntersmcc.org.uk.
Miners Welfare, Derby Road,

Ripleu, Derbyshire. Tickets
13 prebook or 15 on gate,
badge for first 150. Tel
17-20th July: Rock & Bikefest

at Carnfield Hall, Derbyshire.
Tickets 30 prebook. More info
from www.rockandbikefest.co.uk
auguST
29-31st Aug: Wolfpack

MCCs Yeknod Rally at Island
Farm Donkey Sanctuary, Old
Didcot Road, Brightwell-cumSotwell, Wallingford, Oxon.
Tickets 12 prebook or 15
on gate. More info from
SePTemBer
7-10th Aug: HAMCs Bulldog

Bash at Shakespeare County
Raceway, Long Marston
Airfield, Stratford Upon
Avon, Warks. More info from
www.bulldogbash.com.
19-21st Sept: Gertys Back

End Rally at the Breighton
Ferry, Breighton, Selby,
Yorks. Tickets 13, 300
limit. More info from
07564 689552 or www.
hull-and-back.com.
8-10th Aug: Silsden Sewer

Rats Bike & Trike Rally at
bingley Tugby Club, Wagon
Lane,,Bingley, Yorks. Tickets
10 prebook or 15 on
gate, 200 limit. More info
from 07935 708985.
ocToBer
11th oct: Bikers For
Boobies at The Academy,
Church Road, Barrow,
Suffolk. Tickets 5. More
info from Facebook.
22-24th Aug: Brothers

Over the Hill MCCs Dwent
& Did It Rally at Marehay
A trike mAgAzine built for trikers

TRIKE MAGAZINE BUILT FOR TRIKERS
JulY
4-6th July: Nordic
Brotherhood SussexS FFS
Rally at Upper Lodge Farm,
Ringmer, East Sussex. Tickets
15 or 10 days. More
info from 07775 676295
or ffsrally@gmail.com.
FOR TRIKERS
TRIKE MAGAZINE BUILT
TRIKEMAGAZINE.COM
ONLY 4.25 // SPRING 2012 // ISSUE 21
TRIKEMAGAZINE.COM
T
// ISSUE 22
NLY 4.25 // SUMMER 2012
ONLY
ON
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T
ON
ONLY
NLY 4.25 // AUTUMN 2012 // ISSUE 23
NEWS PRODUCTS EVEN

N
EVENTS
NTS CCONVERSIONS
ONVEERSI
RSIONS T
TRIKES
RIIK
KES F
FOR
OR SALE
NEWS EVENTS PRODUCTS
TRIPLE VISION
IAL!
CIA
PEC
SPE
O SP
TO
HOT
PH
PHO
BEEN
TRIKES
T
RIKES FOR SALE READERS
READER S TRIKES
INCREDIBLE DESTINY CYCLES HARLEY
YOUVEED 21
NABB
ONE-OFF V8 ROVER
GSX1100
CHOPPER
TRIKE
DTB
PANTHER
1000cc V-TWIN
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XJ NINE
TRIKE DESIGNS
BONNEVILLE
VERY ORANGE
NORFOLK BEEMER
www.trikemagazine.com
SUPERTRIKE!
TL1000R-BASED SPEEDSTER
KE
RTRIKE
SERTRI
CRUISE
ED BAR HOPPER
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FAST AND FURIOUS
ERTRIKE
MONSTV8-ENGINED
M
REWACO
VERY YELLOW
ALSO: SOMERSET HOSPICE
RUN LINCS BIKE NIGHTS
TRIKES R
US
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THE LOW-DOWN ON THE YORKSHIRE CONVERSION MAESTROS!
STREET
ET FIGHTER
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SLEEPER
FUEL-INJECTED TRIUMPH TRIPLE
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WorldMags.net
ITS NOT GOTHAM, BABY, ITS NORTHAMPTON
M109R
09 SUZUKI
SU U
REAL FLAME CUSTOM CREATION!
ALSO: MAD HATTERS BIKE SHOW THE REBEL RALLY BOSTON BIKE
NIGHT
70 | 100% Biker | issue 175

163 | www.100-biker.co.uk
TRIKE MAGAZINE BUILT FOR TRIKERS
SHIRE!
XS1100 YAMAHA ELECTRIC
TRIBAL-PAINTED WARRIOR!
ULTRA-RAPID TRACK TRIKE!
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WorldMags.net
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INTERNATIONAL AWARD WINNING ARTISTS
55 Cowley Road, Uxbridge

Middlesex UB8 2AE
Tel: 01895 812112
233 Imperial Drive, Rayners Lane

Harrow, Middlesex HA2 7HE
Tel: 02088 660866
WorldMags.net
57 York Street, Twickenham

London TW1 3LP
Tel: 0208 8913477
WorldMags.net
Biker Haunts
biker-FrieNdLY PUbS ANd cAFeS AroUNd THe coUNTrY
The Ox & Plough

THE OX & PLOUGH IS A LOVELY PUB ON THE GREEN IN THE
PICTURESQUE VILLAGE OF OLD BUCKENHAM IN NORFOLK,
JUST OFF THE A11 NEAR SNETTERTON RACE TRACK
nd petrolheads are more than welcome

as the landlord, Ben Devlin, drives racing
cars for a living! Both his father and his
grandfather have run pubs in the area, and
used to have a cafe near Snetterton that was forever
feeding drivers and riders from the track. In fact, his
granddad says that Ayrton Senna used to push Ben
around in his pram outside!
Since taking over in June, Ben has refurbished
the pub giving it a modern, yet rustic look. Therere
two good sized bars, seating, an open fire, and a
pool table, and the beer is good and well kept too.
They have live music (check their Facebook page
for details) and food nights, and Tuesday nights are
Two-Wheel Tuesdays where they actively encourage
bikers to come in and take over the pub. Weve got
one of the biggest beer gardens in England, Ben
says, because we overlook the green. So theres
plenty of parking for everyone.
The nights so far have been a really good mix of
bikes; not just lines and lines of identikit plastics,
but lots of old Brits, Harleys, and a few customs too.
The Flying Chef brings his rather wonderful Cossack
sidecar-mounted hotdog stall too, selling his very nice

hotdogs (watch the chilli sauce, it has some real fire to
it!), so dont rush to have your tea before you go!
(Strangely there exists on YouTube a short video of the
toilet flushing at the Ox & Plough Im quite scared to ask
why someone should make such a video so if you know the
reason, keep it to yourself, eh?)
The ox & plough,

The Green,
Old Buckenham,
Attleborough,
Norfolk
NR17 1RN
01953 860004
opening Hours
Normal pub
opening hours
whaTS yoUr
FaVoUriTe
Biker
Haunt?
If youd like to talk

about this or any
of the places weve
covered in Biker
Haunts, please go
to our website at:
www.100-biker.
co.uk/forums.
WorldMags.net
www.100-biker.co.uk
www.100-biker.co.uk || issue
issue 130
175 | 100% Biker | 73
WorldMags.net
Your guide to all things Biker on the web

If youd like to advertise in the 100% Biker directory
contact Louise on 01244 881888 (ext. 317) or email
D i r e c t o ry
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
rogueS
gallerY
rT
I
h
S
T ner!
WIn
A pic of my two boys on my

Hayabusa streetfighter. Thanks for
all the help and running around; you
know who you are. Karl, Dorset.
win!
20 FAT MAGGOT T-SHIRT

VOUCHER EACH MONTH!
Thanks to the lovely people at Fat Maggot
(www.fatmaggot.com) the winner of the best
pic each month, as chosen by us, will get a
20 voucher to spend at their online shop. Fat
Maggot, in case you dont know, do a huge range of bikerorientated T-shirts and stickers with some really good slogans
(and some your Mum wouldnt approve of too!).
Geoff Bishops VZ800

in, this time being
taken over by Harley aga
Dew
your feckin gloves, youngitt! Where are
un?!
Dave Jones 1800 Intruder;

the start of a project, he
says. Send us a pic when
its done, Dave?
Janine from Harrison Billet on her

tractor (no Harley jokes please)
during the Pink Tractor Run for
breast cancer. Proper!
Mickys grandson
Freddie Farmer
trying out a VTX1800
for size. Hmm, might
be a little while yet,
Freddie, before
youre ready I think
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
Lovely Attitude Customs-built H-D! Pic by Oliver.
and Ian
Mike Blackjack King2,000 for
n,
iso
rr
Ha
loo
Ba
in
an
Mart
ntly raised moretothJohn OGroats,
Teg Carnell rece
gion by riding Good on them!
the Royal BritishthLe
back to Leeds.
Lands End and en
Iain Haddows Triump

h,
as painted by Silverb
ird
Airbrushing, finished!
picture!
Two megastars in one
Houghton
ry
Lar
and
ley
Bar
Shaun
pic.
ona
ght
Bri
l
coo
r
in anothe
Either that bloke on the

bike is very small or that
ladys legs are VERY long!
Pic from Brightona in 2007!
nd them
ur pics here? Se
Want to see yo
ker,
Bi
0%
10
ry,
to Rogues Galle
,
t, Sealand Road
ur
Co
er
rch
Ma
1
S
Chester, CH1 6B
or email them to
er.co.uk.
ito
ed r@100-bik
WorldMags.net
JOKES IMPRESS YOUR MATES WITH THESE HOWLERS
BuFFoonerY
WorldMags.net
more Jokes For you To Tell your FrienDs Down The pub
ThaT will make you look Funnier Than you acTually are
I shot my first turkey today.

Scared the shit out of
everyone in Tesco.
My mate in
Bradford has
a dog thats just
blown his kennel up.
Bloody Yorkshire Terrierists.
I called Gamblers
Anonymous yesterday to ask
what time I should be there
for the meeting.
They said, ten to one.
I had a fairytale childhood.
My grandad was eaten
by a wolf.
Nice offer on Amazon; if you

buy all the Adam & The Ants
sheet music they give you a
free stand and deliver!
Do you want to hear a really
good Batman impression?
asked my mate Dave.
Go on then, I replied.
NOT THE KRYPTONITE!
he screamed.
I said, Thats Superman.
He said, Thanks, Ive been
practising.
Why did fans avoid the
front row seats at this years
snooker championships?
The queues were too long.
My mates have given up
trying to explain the rules of
Russian Roulette to me.
It goes in one ear and out
the other.
A Muslim got shot last night
with a starting pistol.
Police say it was racerelated.
My Italian Job advent
calendar just exploded into
thousands of pieces.
It was only supposed to
blow the bloody doors off.
I just entered a competition
where the first prize is a
toilet and last prize is a
toilet.
I thought to myself Im
in a win-loos situation
here.
I found out today that I am

allergic to rice.
The doctor said I was
basmatic.
I just got a job with Hyundai,

but what Ive always wanted
to do is make nuclear
weapons.
Turns out Im in the wrong
Korea.
I have a broken quiz machine
for sale cheap, no questions
asked!
I have to say the teachers
strike was well organised and
expertly done.
Its almost as if they had six
weeks off in the summer to
plan it.
Shall we have a Twitter strike
as well? Just harnessing the
momentum?
What do we want?
More than 140 characters.
When do we want it?
N
What do you call a woman
who drives an ambulance?
Nina.
I recently started a new

business making and selling
statues of religious figures.
Ive yet to make a prophet.
Whats the difference
between Tory MPs and
pandas?
They have more than one
panda in Scotland.
I saw an advert in the paper
yesterday, Yacht for Sale.
As if people dont know
what a yachts for.
In history this term my class
is learning about Galileo.
I already know that he was a
poor boy, from a poor family.
Im disappointed with my
Josef Fritzl advent calendar.
It doesnt have any
windows.
Those new Nicorette patches
are great.
Put one over each eye and
you cant find your fags.
A man has just been
convicted of stealing over
500,000 worth of rubber
bands from a local factory.
Looks like hes in for a long
stretch.
Friends of ours have a new
baby boy, and his Mum asked
me if Id like to wind him.
I thought that was a bit
much so I gave him a dead
leg instead.
I just bought the News of

the World advent calendar.
You dont open the
doors, you stand outside
quietly and listen.
I was asked to man the

phones at work during
the strike.
So I went around and
drew little moustaches
on all of them.
Just been reading through my
leaflet about how to calculate
your Body Mass Index.
According to the leaflet Im
three feet too short.
My New Years resolution
is to stop using spray
deodorants.
Roll on 2014!
I went to see a flea circus
today, but all the fleas
suddenly and mysteriously
disappeared.
That left us all scratching
our heads.
The film The Iron Lady has
been classified PG.
Its unsuitable for miners.
My mate just told me he has
been a mime artist for years.
I said, Blimey, you kept that
quiet.
Old people make lovely cakes.
Getting them in the oven
can be a bit of a struggle
though.
I bet on Han Solo to win Best
Star Wars Character.
Well, he was the Wookies
favourite.
senD your Jokes To:

editor@100-biker.co.uk
What do church
mice believe in?
Cheeses.
The best joke gets you nothing more

than kudos and your name in print.
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
www.100-biker.co.uk
Bike JumBle
WorldMags.net
Your national shop window for bikes, bits and bargains. Sell your bike stuff here
for free. Fill in the form below and send it to us at the usual address
wiLmAc Trike: 1970s style, new VW1300

engine reconditioned transaxle, built 2012
(photos included), still running-in, SORN,
12months MoT, single seat convertible to
two seat, 5,000 ono. Tel 01803 613306.
VeSPA eT4: Automatic, 125cc, blue, 7500

miles, 12 months MoT and tax, 02 reg,
895 ono. Tel 07772 797112 (Buxton).
HArLeY-dAVidSoN 883c SPorTSTer:

2004, very low miles, reluctant sale, lots
of extras, long MoT 3,500 or may p/x
something cheaper. Tel 07540 095928.
YAmAHA XS650 bobber/cHoP

ProJecT: Rigid frame, TR1 forks, XS650
wheels with good tyres, Mustang tank
with fuel outlet missing, old 70s T-bars,
two motors (one stripped ready for
renovation), one set of standard carbs
cleaned/re-chromed/rebuilt, comes with
V5 850 no offers, buyer collects. Tel
01353 861333 (Cambs).
HoNdA cb250N bobber: T-reg (1978),

mileage showing 26,375, no tax or MoT,
V5 present, runs and rides, may need little
work for MoT 200 ono. Tel 07779 041694
(South Wales).
SUZUki GSX-r 750 HArdATiL cHoP:

Just built, new MoT & tax, black with
blue pearlescent & ghost flames on tank,
GSX-R running gear, new HEL brake lines
5.300 ono. Tel 01932 352186 or 07858
023370 (Surrey).
HoNdA GoLd wiNG Trike: 1800GL,

2007, 2,083 miles only, SORN due to ill
health, not used last two years, lots of
extras 20,000 ovno. Tel 01974 251763.
YAmAHA XS650: Hardtail, 1976, bullet

proof motor, converted to electronic
ignition, starts and runs as it should,
Sportster front end, wide bars, sounds
awesome, real head turner, ready to ride,
can deliver 3,150 ono. Tel 07956 133774.
deSPerATe dANS V8 Trike: 1998, 3.5

V8, taxd, MoTd, original manual from
Chris Ireland, one owner, looks and sounds
amazing, ready to ride 12,000 ono. Tel
07919 340204.
cATcH 23: Award-winning Buell chopper,

truly beautiful, turns heads everywhere
it goes, reduced from 13,500 to 9,750
or p/x old Harley. Tel 01233 860564 or
07850 685905 (Kent).
SPY F1 350 qUAd: 2012, wine red, as new,

very low mileage 1,800 ono. Tel 07742
626584 (Peterborough).
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net
BIKe JumBle
VoLkSwAGeN Trike: 3.9

litre V8, MoT Aug, looks &
sounds amazing, art work on
tank/seat/guards 11,500
ono. Tel 01692 65337
(Norfolk).
SUZUki GSX750: Hardtail

chop project, Cycle Haven
frame, good engine, 800
Yamaha front end, twin cap
fatbob tanks, 20 inch apes,
twin Bates lights, BSA rear
light, 90% finished, best offer
over 500. Tel 07955 623110.
YAmAHA V-mAX Trike: Full

power, stainless exhaust/
tank/rack, new clutch/
rectifier/battery, 30k miles,
custom paint, Jaguar axle,
3-seater, excellent condition
6,000 ono. Tel 07773
128422 (Kent).
kAwASAki 600: Set of

new carbs for ZL600 or
Ninja 300. New engine
cases, barrels, cylinder
head 300. Front brake
disc 90. Other parts
too. Tel 07713 468157
(Birmingham).
HoNdA cb900 cHoP:
Hardtail, apes, sissybar, king &
queen seat, ring for more info
700 ono. Tel 07731 183255
(N. Ireland).
HoNdA cbr900rr
FirebLAde: 97, P-plate, 16k,
MoT & tax July 14, very clean
for age, needs good clean
& engine casings painted,
runs like new bike, really well
looked after 1350 ono (girl
not included). Tel 07737
754467 (Perth).
HArLeY FAT bob: Seats,
1 x reduced reach, pushes
rider forward 1.5-2 inches
& bit lower. 1 x Tall Boy,
sits rider 2-3 inches back
& higher. Both little used,
cost 250 each brand new
sell for 150 each ono. Tel
07908 554341 (Derbys).
TriUmPH SPriNT 955i: British

Racing Green, 2002 reg,
2250 ono. Tel 07816 236265
(Yorkshire).
TriUmPH T140V: Righthand gear-change motor,
complete 1250 ono. Tel
01404 47360 (Devon).
SUZUki GSX 750 HArdTAiL:

45 degree rake, one-off
frame, powdercoated, zinc
primered, stainless mid
controls, rebuilt brakes, new
chain/battery/tyres, custom
seat, custom exhausts, prowired, too much to list, years
MoT, ready to go 5995 ono.
Tel 01273 888170.
SPriNGer ForkS: Harley 45,
2 over, black, never used 850.
Tel 01404 47360 (Devon).
YAmAHA VirAGo 535 Trike:

Converted 2 years ago by BB
Customs, narrowed axle, black,
stainless exhaust, top box,
armrests, taxed & tested 4000
ono. Tel 02380 893953 (Hants).
kAwASAki kZ 1000 LTd

TUrbo: 1979, bright, loud
& fast, far too much to list
5,500 ono. Tel 07427 601507
or 07979 968134.
A trike mAgAzine
built for trikers
www.trikemagazine.com
bikeJumble: Fill in form or e-mail your ad to editor@100-biker.co.uk

to advertise your bike in the next available issue.
To sell your bike please complete this form.
All Bike Jumble adverts are Free including a photo!
Your Advert: (30 words Max)
NAME:
ADDRESS:
POSTCODE:
EMAIL:
TELEPHONE:
Send completed form to: 100% biker (bike Jumble), 1 marcher court, Sealand road, chester cH1 6bS.
PLEASE NOTE WE CAN NOT RETURN PHOTOS
WorldMags.net
e
c
e
i
P
Taiplping? Id Sooner Sh!it
WorldMags.net
h
c
t
Sho
a
P
e
l
t
t
e
N
a
n
i
d
Nake
Rick Hulse is
the chairman
of the NABD,
the National
Association
of Bikers with
a Disability,
and the front
man for the
Smacked
Arse Comedy
Roadshow
and is
no mean
comedian
himself. Hes
been writing
columns
for biker
magazines
for years
now under
a variety of
pseudonyms
and we here
at Biker are
proud to
have him here
writing as
himself.
ve just been shopping call

me a wild thing if you like,
but Im living the dream.
This foray into the drudgery
of mundane life started
peacefully enough
Trolling around Aldi, I
summoned-up all of my selfcontrol to resist the urge to buy
a Chinese made workbench
made out of what appeared to be
freeze-dried blancmange. I then
steadfastly weathered the storm of
emotion that insisted I purchase
a set of plastic things that would
apparently simplify many of
the complex issues involved in
trapping, dispatching and finally
skinning a baby fur seal (though it
is also possible that they were for
some form of cleaning activity, I
cannot be sure because the writing
on the box was in Norwegian and
I dont do cleaning).
Eventually I reached the till
with a well-stocked trolley of
comestibles, beverages and,
of course, a shiny thing. I then
bought four of Aldis large
reusable fabric shopping bags (eco
warrior, arent I?) and duly filled
three of them with my purchases.
The total bill was 84, which is
a lot of money to spend without
actually having fun. but I consoled
myself with the thought that Id
bought a lot of stuff and the same
stuff wouldve probably cost more
than 100 in Tesco.
As there were still a few items I
needed that were not available in
Aldi, I then had to call in at Tesco
but, as I expected to be spending
less than 20, I considered this

to be only a minor setback in my
quest to minimise the damage
that shopping would do to my
having a good time budget. 15
minutes later I was at the till in
Tesco with a scantly populated
trolley of odds and ends. I packed
them into my unused eco-friendly
Aldi bag; it was just over half full.
The total bill was 78. Seventyeight fucking pounds!
78 quid for half a fucking bag
of groceries! I commented to
everybody within earshot. Ive
just filled three bags to the brim in
Aldi for 84 quid! The look on the
face of the poor till jockey suggested
that he very much wished he was
somewhere far away from the
angry ranting biker, whereas the
look on the face of my girlfriend
Francesca suggested that she had
been here before and the best thing
to do was to stand back and wait for
the storm to subside.
This is the last time this
thieving bastard company get a
penny out of me! I bellowed in full
Victor Meldrew mode. Then as I
snatched up my Aldi bag with its
pitifully light, yet extortionatelypriced, load the handle snapped!
The till jockey held his breath
and cast a quick glance around
to remind himself of his possible
exits. People in the queue behind
me began to back away while
trying to give the impression of
not actually moving. Francesca
made a masterful effort of trying
not to laugh her head off. At
this point my subconscious
I purchase a set of plastic things that would

apparently simplify many of the complex
issues involved in trapping, dispatching and
finally skinning a baby fur seal
WorldMags.net
mind nudged my forebrain and

whispered Move over, kid, Ill
drive us through this tricky bit,
and as usual in times of stress my
conscious mind shuffled itself into
the backseat, happy for the chance
to abdicate all responsibility for
the impending debacle.
Waving the floppy broken
handle of my Aldi bag, like an
aged Welshman trying to thumb
his flaccid nob into the toothless
mouth of his favourite spring
lamb, my subliminal alter ego
addressed the world.
Bloody typical! Thats what you
get when you have your bags made
by half-starved little children in
third world sweatshops! They
should take a few lessons from the
old British mill owners; at least
they taught their half-starved child
labour to produced quality items!
Judging by the ensuing silence;
the staff and clientele of Tesco in
Wythenshawe are total strangers
to the art of satirical commentary
and judging by the occasional
smiles and nods of approval, quite
a number of the mindless bastards
are also members of the EDL.
As I was ushered through the
shop and out into the car park
by my long-suffering girlfriend,
I resolved never to shop in Tesco
again for as long as I live. In a final
act of defiance I yelled back at the
entrance to this edifice of greed
Those greedy bastards will never
see a penny of my money again!
As I drove through the car park
towards the petrol station I added
quietly Except for fuel
Well, pragmatism sometimes
has to come before principles.
WorldMags.net
To advertise in
call Louise on
01244 881888 ext 317

or email
ESSEX WHEELS
& ENGINEERING LTD

competition wheelbuilding specialists
James Rogers HND
Tel: 07887 533 118
james@essexwheelsandeng.com
Rims Spokes Welding
Frames CNC Machining
www.essexwheelsandeng.com
WorldMags.net
Newlands, Drakes Farm,

Little Waltham, Chelmsford,
Essex CM3 3ND
WorldMags.net
WorldMags.net

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celebrating 40 years of the national chopper club

letters // news // how to

// letters // girls // JoKes // events // biKes for sale

Nige Bamber's classic chop!

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34 FirsT pasT The posT

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Manor Farm Buildings

The hOGFaTher MOTOrcYcLes

Unit 8, Willow Park, stoke Golding

Unit 2, east Quay Park

01278 444 303

0845 644 8360

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Unit 4, Nightjar Way, higham side road

Tel: 01706 365505

Montana Place, Norwich road

Unit 2, Philpots Yard, horsham road,

01132 406 332

Unit 1 & 2, Old station Yard, Y Felinheli

Firmount, Donoughmore, co cork, eire

Tel: 00353 21733700

shePs cYcLe shack

reBeLLiON sPeeD & chOP

kinnego Marina, Oxford island

Unit 3, 4 Gidley Way

All summer long Id been bumping into

The latest news from the world of riders rights!

The most comprehensive events listing around!

Pubs, cafes and clubs for you to visit.

The best (and rudest) jokes page in any magazine!

The latest from the world of biking.

Tasty stuff to spend yer wonga on!

Now that youve got nice new trews, youll be

Buy or sell bikes and bits for free!

Our regular column from the

Continuing his work on the dark arts of

Our in-depth look at one of the

This year, in case you dont know,

www.100-biker.co.uk | issue 175 | 100% Biker | 7

MaSSIVE CHaRITY RaFFLE

France isnt really very famous as a country of bike manufacturers, but

8 | 100% Biker | issue 175 | www.100-biker.co.uk

A couple of Biker readers are organising