A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.

www.ibclrstudents.org 2014
BE PRESENT

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? AND VOLLEYBALL? AND

BASKETBALL? AND HOMECOMING? AND POWDERPUFF? AND
WINTER FORMAL? ANDTHE LIST KEEPS GOING, AND GOING, AND
GOINGYOU GET THE POINT.
IT IS MOST-LIKELY IMPOSSIBLE TO BE INVOLVED AND PRESENT AT
EVERYTHING YOUR CHILD IS INVOLVED IN. HOWEVER, BEING
STRATEGIC IS TOTALLY DOABLE. FOCUS YOUR INVOLVEMENT ON THE
THINGS THAT MATTER MOST TO YOUR TEEN. CONSIDER THE
INFLUENCE YOU MIGHT HAVE FROM THE STANDS. WHAT KIND OF
FAITH CONVERSATIONS CAN YOU ENGAGE OTHER PARENTS IN? WHAT
QUESTIONS MIGHT BE ASKED IF YOU IF THEY SAW YOU WEARING AN
IBC STUDENTS HOODIE? YOU WILL NEVER KNOW TILL YOUR
PRESENT.
October Issue
THIS MONTH
" HOME 22:6 PARENT ROUNDTABLE
(WEDNESDAYS AT 6 PM)
" GIRLS MINISTRY (10/19)
" FUN FEST (10/29)
" FUSED FALL RETREAT
(10/31-11/2)
COMING SOON
" GO CONFERENCE (11/19-23)
" OCC PACKING PARTY (11/23)
" DISCIPLE NOW (1/16-18)
PRAYER FOR MY
TEEN
COURAGE
ENGAGE
TOP 15 THINGS YOUR
MIDDLE SCHOOL KID
WISHES YOU KNEW
EMPOWER
FOUR REASONS PARENTS
MUST CONNECT WITH
THEIR CHILD

A MONTHLY PUBLICATION TO HELP PARENTS BETTER PLUG IN TO THE

SPIRITUAL DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR STUDENT
PLUGGED IN
OCTOBER 2014


A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
www.ibclrstudents.org 2014
STUDENT MINISTRY STAFF
Matt Hubbard
Lead Student Pastor
Melissa Sponer
Girls Ministry Associate
Ross Spigner
Middle School Pastor
Amanda Beach
Ministry Assistant
A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
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MY MOST MEMORABLE
HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

RAGGEDY ANNE
MY MOST MEMORABLE
HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

MOUSE (HOMEMADE BY
MOTHER HUBBARD)
MY MOST MEMORABLE
HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

SCARECROW
MY MOST MEMORABLE
HALLOWEEN COSTUME WAS:

TETRIS (I CUT MUTI-COLORED
PAPER IN TETRIS SHAPES AND
PINNED THEM TO MY SHIRT.)
From Our Heart

By now you should have received your rst Home 22:6 Birthday Pack. This and future resources are simply a tools for
you to use to instruct your children in the way of the Lord. Home 22:6 is taken from Proverbs 22:6 which says, "Train a
child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." The word "train" can be dened in
Deuteronomy 6:4-9. In today's fast-paced world many parents are looking for their church, Christian school, a mealtime
prayer, or the student ministry to provide the spiritual training for their children. But according to Deuteronomy 6
spiritual instruction was to be a way of living. It was to be carried out rst as families sat at home, when they walked
along the road, when they lay down at night, and when they rose up. Spiritual instruction is to be an ongoing practice
taught both by example and instruction. In other words, we teach our children to walk by faith each and every step of
the way. Our faith becomes who we are not what we do.

Once, raising a child was very straightforward and a common sense affair, but many feel it has become the single most
stressful thing they will do in their lifetime. So, what happened? "Times have changed!"But, times have always
changed. The difference is that even with new technologies, demographics, and economic conditions there were still
absolutes. There was a time when people understood that in changing times, certain things could not change; that there
were always constant truths in our life. In our world today, those truths are being challenged every day.

If there was ever a time for God's people to be true to His Word, it is now. If we do not pass on our faith to our
children we have failed not only our children, but also our Lord. It is never too late to invest truth to your children. I
am grateful for a church whose hearts desire is to see families grow in their faith and do life alongside each other.




A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
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PRAYER FOR MY TEEN
This is an excerpt on Courage in 31 Days of Prayer for My Teen by Susan Alexander Yates (Baker Books).
WHERE IS A PERSON WHO WILL STAND STRONG? WHO WILL DO WHAT IS RIGHT NO MATTER WHAT THE CONSEQUENCES MIGHT BE? I LONG
FOR THAT TO BE MY TEEN. I TOO LONG FOR THAT SORT OF COURAGE.
FATHER, TODAY IM THINKING ABOUT COURAGE. HOW I LONG FOR MY SON TO BECOME A MAN OF COURAGE. IN THIS POST-9/ 11 WORLD IT CAN BE HARD.
HES GROWING UP IN A WORLD OF TERRORISTS AND IN A WORLD OF CONFUSION. TRUTH HAS BECOME RELATIVE. MARRIAGE IS BEING REDEFINED. THE
DISTINCTION BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG HAS BECOME BLURRED.
HES UNDER PRESSURE AT SCHOOL TO BE POLITICALLY CORRECT, TO OFFEND NO ONE. TOLERANCE HAS BECOME AN IDOL. IF ONE IS TOLERANT, ONE
ACCEPTS ANYTHING. ACCEPTANCE CAN MEAN GOING ALONG WITH THE CROWD, OR AT LEAST KEEPING HIS MOUTH SHUT IF HE DISAGREES WITH THE
CROWD. EVEN IF THE CROWD IS VERY, VERY WRONG.SOMETIMES THE CROWD ISN T ONLY HIS PEERS; ITS THE ADULTS TOO.
I SEE THE SAME THING IN MY OWN LIFE, FATHER. ITS SO MUCH EASIER FOR ME TO JUST GO ALONG WITH OTHER ADULTS THAN IT IS TO TAKE A STAND
AND RISK BEING THOUGHT FOOLISH.
FATHER, YOU HAVEN T CALLED US TO GO ALONG OR TO REMAIN SILENT. YOU HAVE CALLED US TO SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.* YOUR DESIRE IS THAT WE
ENGAGE THE CULTURE, NOT WITHDRAW FROM IT.* BUT THAT TAKES COURAGE.
FATHER, THROUGHOUT HISTORY THOSE WHO FOLLOW YOU HAVE BEEN IN THE MINORITY. YET YOU HAVE GIVEN THEM THE STRENGTH AND THE
COURAGE TO STAND STRONG. I PRAY THAT YOU WOULD GIVE MY SON CLEAR CONVICTIONS AND THE COURAGE TO STAND FIRM. GIVE HIM THE STRENGTH
TO RESIST THE PRESSURE TO JOIN THE CROWD WHEN THEY DO THINGS THEY SHOULDN T. GIVE HIM WISDOM TO DISCERN THE CROWDS FALSE
MESSAGES AND INSTEAD TO PROCLAIM THE TRUTH WITH GRACE. AND FATHER, I ASK FOR THESE THINGS FOR MYSELF AS WELL.
MAKE MY SON BOLD AND THOUGHTFUL IN ENGAGING THE CULTURE.* GIVE HIM THE COURAGE TO SPEAK OUT WITH YOUR TRUTH. LORD, AT TIMES HE
WILL HAVE TO STAND ALONE. GIVE HIM AN OVERWHELMING SENSE OF YOUR PRESENCE WHEN THIS HAPPENS. REMIND HIM THAT OTHERS MAY DESERT
HIM BUT YOU NEVER WILL.* THANK YOU THAT YOU HONOR AND USE MEN AND WOMEN OF COURAGE
BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS . DO NOT BE TERRIFIED; DO NOT BE DISCOURAGED, FOR THE LORD YOUR GOD WILL BE WITH YOU
WHEREVER YOU GO. JOSHUA 1:9
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES (IN ORDER OF STARRED REFERENCES IN PRAYER): EPHESIANS 4: 15; EPHESIANS 6: 14 15 AND ACTS 1: 8; PSALM
138: 3; HEBREWS 13: 5B


FA
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T
H
C
O
N
V
E
R
S
A
T
I
O
N

H
E
L
P
S
:
THE W
ay to Abundant Life
Starter Q
uestion:
W
hat is abundant life?
Biblical Response:
Philippians 3
:7!10; 2 Tim
othy 3
:12
Transition Q
uestion:
So how can sinful m
an inherit abundant' eternal life?
Biblical Response:
John 10:10' 14
:6; Rom
ans 6:23
; 1 Peter 3
:18
M
y Story:
I began to truly understand how to attain this abundant'
eternal life when"
www.vimeo
.com/
www.faceb
ook.com/
www.twitter
.com/
www.insta
gram.com/


A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
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COMING SOON
October 31 - Nov 2 MS/HS Fused Fall Retreat at Shepherd of the Ozarks
November 18 - 23 GO Conference
November 23 Girls Ministry Event - 12-2
OCC Packing Party
Thanksgiving Dinner and Service
November 26 No Student Worship
November 27-28 Church offices closed for Thanksgiving
December 1 Champions Football Banquet

1
MS / HS
worship/meal

Parent
Roundtable
2 3 4
Family GO Trip
- El Dorado
5 6 7 8
MS / HS
worship/meal

Parent
Roundtable
9 10 11
12 13 14 15
MS / HS
worship/meal

Parent
Roundtable
16 17 18
19
Girls
Ministry
Event
12-2
20 21 22
MS / HS
worship/meal

Parent
Roundtable
23 24 25
26 27 28 29
Fall Funfest
5:30 - 7:30

No student
activities
30 31
Fused Fall
Retreat
Oct 31- Nov 2
Shepherd
of the Ozarks

N o
v 1
Fused Fall
Retreat
Oct 31- Nov 2
Shepherd
of the Ozarks
2014 / October

ENGAGE
TOP 15 THINGS YOUR
MIDDLE SCHOOL KID WISHES
YOU KNEW

1. Respect me. I'm my own person,
not just your kid. Sometimes I
might have opinions that di#er from
yours. Sometimes I just want to be
your baby. Respect me either way.
2. I still want to have fun with you, and
feel like home is safe and happy.
Smile at me.
3. I need to make some of my own
choices, and maybe some of my
own mistakes. Don't do my work
for me or get me out of every jam.
You don't need to be better than
me at everything. Don't
condescend; you don't need to
impart your elderly wisdom on me if
I have a problem. Please wait for
me to ask for your help. If I don't
ask for it, I might want to work it
out for myself. Let me rant without
o#ering advice. Sometimes that's
all I really need, just to talk my way
through something and for you to
just listen to me.
4. Sometimes I'm going to be moody
and annoyed and frustrated. You
need to just let that happen (though
you shouldn't let me be rude to
you; that's weird and
embarrassing). It might just be a
mood or something might be going
on that I'm not ready to talk about
yet. If you hang around doing stu#
near me and don't interrupt or try to
solve it as soon as I start, I might
feel comfortable talking with you
about things.
5. Trust that I'll do my work. If I don't,
you can help me manage my time,
but wait until I'm not taking care of
responsibilities to think I can't.
Don't just assume I can't handle
responsibility because of my age.
Believe in me.
6. It feels really good when you ask
me to teach you about what I'm
learning or what I'm good at. You
don't have to be awesome at
computer programming to let me
teach you some cool stu#, for
instance. I have to be a beginner
constantly. Show me it's OK to stay
relaxed and present when you are
struggling to learn something.
7. I don't like the drama either, and it
surprises me as much as it does
you. You think it's rough having this
alien lunatic in your house? Try
having it in your body, and you
can't even get away.
8. If you don't like my friends, it feels
like you don't trust my judgment or
like I am stupid about choosing
friends. Or both. Ask me what I like
about them, or what we have fun
doing together, or just to tell you
about a new friend. Stay open-
minded. Still, if you think my friends
are being bad to me, I need you on
my side that much more.
9. Sometimes I am completely
overwhelmed and need to zone out
for a while. I am not becoming a
slug and will not stay in my room
staring at a screen for the rest of
my life. Maybe just for the rest of
the afternoon.
10. I will ght you every step of the way
if you make me do stu# I don't
want to do (get some exercise, do
my homework, write a thank-you
note, practice piano, apologize to
my sister, take a shower, wear
deodorant... so many things), but
you should probably make me do
them anyway. I know I will feel
better if I sweat and shower each
day, and develop my study skills,
and show up tomorrow prepared,
and, and, and. I know! But please
don't overwhelm me. I might not be
able to do what I should right away.
I might need reminders, later, which
will annoy me completely. Remind
me anyway.
11. Explain why I'm being criticized or
punished. It feels scary if I don't
understand anything beyond that
you are mad at me. And sometimes
what I need more than a scolding is
a hug or a cuddle. Especially when
I am more porcupine than puppy.
12. I need to have private jokes with
my friends and not explain them to
you. It's how we bond. You don't
need to be involved in every aspect
of my life to still be loved and
needed by me.
13. If my social life gets to be too
much, I may need you to force a
little vacation from it on me. But
most of time what I need is to work
through how to navigate life online
and with peers. Now is my chance
to learn how to deal, with your help.
Just shutting it down keeps me
from learning how to build my life
online with sca#olding provided by
you. Stay calm and cool, let me
explain what's going on, and talk
things through with me. Ask more,
tell less.
14. Especially if I've been feeling
stressed, maybe you could just
hang out with me. Go to the park or
get an ice cream or have a catch,
whatever; it feels good to just do
something together without
discussing or solving or teaching
anything.
15. I like it when you think I'm funny. Or
interesting. Or awesome. I actually
do care what you think about me.
Please nd something specic you
actually like about me because
sometimes I can't nd anything in
myself to like at all. I might roll my
eyes, but your words and
judgments do matter to me, and I
will remember them, the good and
the bad. I will keep them with me
like treasures even when I lose my
keys and wallet and ID. Which I
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probably will. More than once.
Sorry.
And bonus extra important thing you
should know: The fact that my opinions
on this and anything else might change
tomorrow does not mean I don't feel
them ercely today. Keep up. I love
you. Remind me you still love me, too.
BY RACHEL VAIL,BLOGGERS FOR
WWW.HUFFINGTONPOST.COM AND
AUTHOR OF UNFRIENDED

EQUIP
FOUR REASONS
PARENTS MUST
CONNECT WITH THEIR
CHILD

Parent-child connectedness can
be dened as being closely
bonded by common traditions
and frequently occurring
activities. I think a good short
denition would be intentional
togetherness. Its eating dinner
ve or more times a week as a
family, as opposed to eating on
the run or in front of the
televisionor other screens. Its
dusting o# the Christmas
Comedy Classics CD to play
Grandma Got Run Over By A
Reindeer and The Hat I Got For
Christmas Is Too Big to o$cially
ring in the holiday season.
(Maybe your family traditions
are classier than ours?) Its
getting excited about laser tag
in all its glory when your son is
ten, and hosting a 9.3 hour Lord of the
Rings trilogy marathon when hes
fteen. Its playing, camping, cooking,
and studying with your child. Quality
time? A myth! Our kids need quantity
that comes with great quality here and
there.

Why Does Connecting Matter?

Your childs brain development relies
on connecting.

In 2005, the ndings of a new study
released in Pediatrics report that
parent-infant connectionintentional
togethernessplays a key role in
shaping the right side of an infants
brain during the rst year of life. Some
psychologists feel so strongly about
the parent/child connectedness that
should occur in the rst year of life,
that they advocate for a 56-week
maternity leave much like employees
in Europe receive. Furthering this
important brain development research,
is Dr. Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr. of the
Medical Institute for Sexual Health. His
groundbreaking research on the brain
proves that a second critical phase of
brain development occurs just before
and during puberty. The part of the
brain growing during these periods
controls value formationthe
understanding of right and wrong.

These researchers are not just talking
about the emotional and moral
development of the child, but the
actual physical brain growth. What
they are really saying is that we ought
to be connectedby physical
proximity as well as emotional
activityso our childrens
brains can grow as God
intended.

Your child is less likely to
experience at-risk behaviors
if he or she experiences
parent/child connectedness.

As I have continued my
research in the late 1990s right
up to the present, I have been
bombarded by the words
parent/child connectedness.
Connectedness reduces the
risk of dropping out of school,
crime, substance abuse and
sexual activity. It increases
academic performance, social
contribution and the changes
of having healthy emotions and
relationships.

Your child is more likely to
experience positive pro-
social behavior if he or she
experiences parent/child
connectedness.

This might include academic,
social or spiritual success. It
can also manifest as a sense
of caring and concern in her
family and friendships. In general, hell
be more socially responsible if he
experienceswell, a little bit of family
laser tag and a whole lot of dinners
together!

Gods word prescribes parent-child
connectedness.

Heres a valuable Bible verse to
memorize and take to heart
A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
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concerning connection. Proverbs 22:6
reads:

Train up a child in the
way he should go, and
when he is old he will
not depart from it.

At rst glance, it is easy to see that
God is a$rming the way that is right
for us to follow, in general. And thats
correct, because the word train is the
Hebrew word hanak and would be best
translated dedicate. This would
indicate that our children are to be
dedicated to God and His ways, but
there is a deeper treasure hidden in
this verse for us.

The Hebrew word for way used in this
verse is derek. Literally, it means my
way or bent. It was a Hebrew
marksmans term. Marksmen of that
day and age did not receive a standard
issue bow and arrow with wires and
buttons to adjust the bow to the
specic environment. Rather, each
marksman went out and found his own
piece of wood, and crafted it carefully
into a bow. Since each bow was made
of di#erent kinds of wood with varying
strengths and levels of moisture, it was
likely that it took hours and days to
actually learn the unique bent or
tendency of the wood so that a
marksman could be accurate with it.
The word derek refers to the process
of learning the wood.

What I think God is saying to you and
to me is this: Ive got a specic way
that Id like you to dedicate your child
to follow, but to be successful youve
got to know the unique strengths and
qualities of your child. And by the way,
thatll take some time. So plan on
investing it. Connect to them so you
can connect them to me.

What a task we have as
parents.

Not only do we need to know and
absorb Gods moral value system, but
weve got to be students of our
childrenlearning each childs
bentso we can impart those values
in creative ways that will impact your
child according to his or her unique
di#erences.

THIS ARTICLE IS EXCERPTED AND EDITED
FROM SIX WAYS TO KEEP THE GOOD IN YOUR
BOYBY DANNAH GRESH,,BEST SELLING
AUTHOR,SPEAKER,CREATOR OF SECRET
KEEPER GIRL
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A publication of IBC Student Ministr y.
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