1

"This scenario was written without any intention of

copyright infringement"
Harry Pothead and the Bong of Wisdom
(Movie Parody)
by:
Danijel Dragic
(This script was not meant to be insulting,
it's made just for fun and to make people smile
i hope you're gonna appreciate that thanks.)
E-mail
dani-skoop@hotmail.com
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FADE IN:
INT. HARRY POTHEAD HOUSE-DAY
Story begins under the stairs of Uncle Vernon's House, Ron
and Hermione are coming
into the house,
Ron holds a joint in his hand,He has t-shirt with marihuana sign on it
His eyes are red.
Harry is sleeping, and he has AC/DC sign on his head
Hermione is walking around the house.
Ron slaps him and he wakes up.
Harry:
(Angry but sleepy)
Whaat the fuck mate?
Ron
Hey dude, summer passed and we haven't seen you,
a lot of things have happened,
what's up with you?
Wanna smoke some?
Gives him a joint,and he doesn't pay attention on Harry.
Harry:
(Kinda surprised)
Dufuq dude are you serious?
I haven't smoked like two weeks,
Motherfucking Vernon.. (pause)
Keeps me locked up I think
I'm gonna blow him up, that fat
fucking dwarf who eats donuts all day
and whom favorite food is cake.
Fucking fag's man..
and by the way where is Hermione?
Ron:
(Confused)
Did you say something?
Harry:
(He is Angry, and he speak as he take a shot)
You didn't even listen to me,you little piece of shit,
I've asked you where is Hermione.
Ron:
Why so angry? Relax, peace and shit, she's here somewhere
Hermione enters carrying one more joint, takes her wand and
casts spell called
lumos then she gets her wand closer and lights the joint
with her wand
Hermione:
This shit is good fo' real..
Harry:
(Suprised)
Hey Hermione, I've missed you where have you been
all this time?
Hermione:
Oh you know I've been places, too much too talk
What's up with you
Harry:
(Upset)
I've just told Ron.. (pause) this Vernon,he just..
I dont know anymore.. Fuck my life..
Harry:
Anyway dont worry about me, just dont babysit that Joint
pass it around..pass..
She was holdin joint all the time for herself,and she passed it finnaly.
Hagrid and Dumbledore came into the house at that moment
Hagrid approaches to Harry,Dumbledore stays behind him.
Hagrid:
Hey Harry.. long time no see,
look at you all filthy...
(whispers to Dumbledore)
Someone needs a bath.
Dumbldore:
Shut up Hagrid.
(speaks to Harry)
Harry you've grown so much,
I acctually can't believe it,
have you practiced
this summer?
I think you're ready for the potddich tournament.
Potddich is game similar to quidditch, the goal of the game is to roll
10
joints while flying,game is made out of 2 players on each side, one
player roll while another one tries to catch flying grynder(very hard)
and with whom they will crumble the weed.If player catches grynder It
ensures victory.Roller cant drop the weed if he does so team that
dropped it lose.
Harry:
I hope so. I will try but I'm not promising anything..
Hagrid approaches, puts his hand on Harry's head.
Hagrid:
In 10 years this boy
will be the greatest
pothead and wizard that we
have ever seen
Ron:
(laughing)
Yeah right..
Dumbldore:
(Tells to both of them)
Can you just be quiet?
Hagrid:
(Farts)
Sry I will be from now on..
Ron:
Fo' sho!
Dumbldore:
Cum Harry, don't listen to them,
we have go to school, Hogwarts is waiting.
EXT. SKY #2 -NIGHT
They all raised their hands reaching for the broom,as the broom flied to
them they sat on them,and went to the school
While they were flyin Harry started to talk.
Harry:
Dude I'm flying are we still high?
Ron:
Harry you are a wizard, you can fly all the time.
Harry:
Oh that explains everything.
Ron:
And you're high too.
Both of them starts laughing.
Dumbledore:
Okay guys we are almost there
I'm sure you've missed the school.
Ron:
We have not,am I right Harry?
Harry:
Yes,you're right..
Though I love spells
and wizards things, I don't like school,nobody
likes school
so why would I?
Ron:
Yeah..
Dumbledore:
So then why do you go to school?
Harry:
You know.. Pussy
Dumbledore:
Yeah i know,same thing here lol
(Few moments later)
Guys we are here.
EXT. FRONT OF HOGWART SCHOOL- NIGHT
Snape is waiting for them in front of the school and he is acting
like Mtv is coming
Snape:
Hello Mtv this is my Crib.
First I'll show you my living room.
Dumbldore:
Snape could you shut the fuck up?This is not some kind of
show
You're talking rubbish.
Now go to your room..
Snape:
But..
Dumbldore:
(Yells at Snape)
Enough!
I wont tell you twice!
Snape:
(Sad)
Okay..
Snape is leaving, Melfoj approaches Harry
Melfoy:
So Harry you came again?
I would like to apologize for
all the things I've done to
you.
Harry:
Oh okay,
I did not expect that from you.
Melfoj:
Well I've change
it's different this time..
I like flowers, I like Sussy and
your mothers pussy.
Harry:
You're starting that shit again.
(pissed off)
Fuck.
Melfoj:
You didn't really believe my story did you?
Dumb as always..
Harry:
Well you know what?
I'm going to tell you one joke
Melfoj:
What? You have a joke?
Harry:
Yes
Melfoj:
Then let me hear it
Harry:
Your mommas so fat her patronus is a cake.
Melfoj:
Well you know what?
Yo momma so fat that the Sorting Hat put her in all four houses.
Ron:
Yo Mammas so ugly,
everybody calls her
She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Naked
Harry:
What the fuck Ron?
Ron:
I thought I should tell a joke too.
Melfoj:
Shut up Ron.
You suck.
Ron:
At least I'm not gay..
Melfoj is angry and he want's to start a fight.
Melfoj:
What did you say?
Ron:
(Afraid)
Oh nothing I said "At least I'm not pray"
Melfoj:
What the fuck,that doesn't even have any sense.
Ron:
Well you know me..
Now bye,i shu (tries to rid of him)
They split up, and went into their rooms
Ron is rolling a joint
INT. ROOM INSIDE OF HOGWARTS- NIGHT
Hermione:
Harry I think I made a mistake.
Harry:
Why?
Hermione:
It's just I
didn't slap Melfoj again. And i know i should..
Ron:
I think he's still afraid of you..
Hermione:
He should be.
I dont like fags
Harry:
Well Ron is Gay.
Why don't you hate him?
Ron:
Wait, WHAT? (angry)
Harry:
Relax I'm just kidding with you.
Ron:
You better be.
Harry:
Common pass that joint..
Ron:
Have you called a dealer,
You know this is the
last bag of weed don't you?
Harry:
I've called him,
he's coming tomorrow ,
Dont worry just relax..
They've all got high and fell a sleep
Early that morning Harry wokes up and he starts to panic.
Harry:
O shit..
Ron:
What happened ?
Harry:
I didn't study,
I'm gonna fail all of my exams
Ron:
Me too,
Relax we still have time..
Harry:
How, exams are in 2 hours?
Ron:
Well I have a little secret for you..
Harry:
Tell me.
Ron:
Do you remember the
bracelets that prof. Dumbledore
always carry?
Harry:
Yes.
Ron:
Well I stole it.
Harry:
What did you do?
Oh my god we are going to be expelled
(panics)
10
Ron:
No, I will give it back to him
Harry:
How?
Ron:
You see with this bracelet
you can go back in time..
Harry:
I see.. so you think we can get out without any problems?
Ron:
Yes..
Harry:
Just let me think..
(thinking)
Okay you are probably right let's go?
Ron:
Okay, wait for me just to take my wand.
Starts searching for the wand
Ron:
I even can't remember where did
I put it I was so high dude
Harry:
There it is..
shows with his finger on the window
Ron:
How the hell it get here?
Harry is this your fault?
Harry:
No,
You put it there last
night while you pretended that you are spoderman.
Ron:
What?
Are you sure I dont even like spoderman?
Harry:
I was high too but
I remember that scene
it was funny like hell.
Ron:
Fuck..
Harry:
I got a pictures of you wanna see?
Ron:
Yes..
shows pictures of Ron half-naked and Ron is holding some new camera..
Ron:
Holy shit why am I naked?
And how the hell did you get that camera?
Harry:
I have some connections..
It is funny because in the wizard world there are no
cameras.
I'm just saying..
Ron:
So connect me babe Wontcha?
Harry:
You should really see you theraphist..
Just let's go? Shall we?
Ron:
Yes I almost forgot..
Take my hand..
As he takes his hand everything start's to shake,images just go crazy..
They are again in their room.And they are in their past 3 days ago.
INT.THEIR ROOM AGAIN -DAY
When they get there..
Ron:
Okay now start studying
And don't let anyone see you
Harry:
Why
Ron:
Because you are ugly.
Harry:
Fuck you.
Ron:
Just kidding
You cannot be seen by yourself,
because that would cause disaster
Harry:
So this is dangerous too?
Ron:
Yeah in some way..
Harry:
I wont trust you anymore..
Ron:
Whatever.. I'm leaving now,
see you later.
Hermione get's in the room holding a chicken in hands
Hermione:
Harry are you studying fo' real?
Harry:
Yeah leave me alone..
Hermione:
And why are you studying?
Harry:
Well because I have an exam tomorrow?
And why wouldnt I ?
I mean every kid dreams
about being a wizard..
Hermione:
So what?
Wanna fuck my chicken?
Harry:
I don't want to fuck chicken,what the hell..
Hermione
But this isn't regular chicken
Harry
Are you fucking serious? I don't care even if it's
some kind of special chicken just leave me alone.
Hermione
Yeah.
This chicken needs some love too
Harry:
Just leave me alone okay?
Hermione:
Okay bye,bye loser.
I'm leaving you this chick.
Harry:
just leave..
(After two hours..)
Ron
Harry are you finished
we have to go..
Harry:
Yes i am.
Ron:
Okay and why is
this chicken here?
Harry:
Hermione brought her here.
She said you must fuck her
Ron:
Which one Hermione or Chicken?
Harry:
Chicken.
Ron:
Well okay i will do that later
Harry:
What? Nevermind I wont even bother myself
Ron:
Just hurry up..
After they get back at the hallway Snape stops Harry
INT. SCHOOL- DAY
Snape:
Harry, Dumbldore wants
to see you.
Harry:
Okay tell him
I will be in
his office after exams..
Snape:
Im not courier you know?
Harry:
Please..
Snape
Dont look at me with those eyes.
(Harry keeps staring)
Oh okay, I'll do it for fuck sake.
Harry goes to exams
15
INT. CLASSROOM- DAY
Profesor Minerva shared tests with her wand and exams were
started
half hour later
Harry:
Ron i've done it all thanks to you.
Ron:
No problem..
Harry:
I wonder what Dumbldore want's from me..
Ron:
I think he want's weed..
Harry:
I hope not cuz I aint gonna give him shit.
After exams is done Harry get's into Dumbledore office
INT. DUMBLEDORE OFFICE
Harry:
Prof. Dumbldore You
wanted to see me?
Dumbldore:
Yes, Harry I have
something really
important to tell you..
Harry:
Tell me.
Dumbldore:
I have Aids
Harry:
What
Dumbldore:
LOL you bought it,just kidding
I invited you here
because..
I know you were asking yourself
from where does
that AC/DC mark on your
head come from .Am I right?
Harry:
You're right..
So tell me
Dumbldore:
You see Harry long time
ago your father James
was a metalhead
and he let someone to
tatoo it on your head.
Harry:
Really?
Dumbldore:
I'm kidding again,someone
hit you with a
hammer or somethin,
How would I know lol
Harry:
This cant be a joke.
Why did you call me here anyway?
Dumbldore:
To make fun of you, I was really,really bored..
Harry:
I'm gonna leave now.
Dumbledor
Whatever..
Harry bumpes into Ron at hallway
Harry:
Ron please watch where you going.
Ron:
Sorry..
Harry:
Hey did you give that
bracelet back to Dumbldore
Ron:
Yeah dont worry.
I must go now see ya..
They all went their own way, And after that two day's were
passed and they didn't
saw Hermione
INT. THEIR ROOM- NIGHT
Harry and Ron are in their rooms getting high again
Ron:
I think this is the best dealer,
where did you find him?
Harry:
I can't tell you,
but there's something I can,
this shit is good and
that's all
you need to know
Ron:
Yeah you're probably right.
I'm just so sorry because Hermione
isn't here to try
this
Harry:
Well she doesn't know what
she is missing
Few minutes later
Harry:
I'm a the fish (talking with kazahstan's accent)
Ron:
No, what?
Harry:
Blub, blub, blub.
Ron:
Damn! That motherfucker is high.
This is some good shit.
Harry:
Ron what do you think about me?
20
Ron:
Well you're my best friend.
Harry:
No I'm your best fish blub, blub
They go down to the dinning room, laughing loudly
Suddenly the mail arrives, owls are everywhere and one of
them landed on Ron
and shits on him then gives him a letter from his mom,
everyone there was laughing
INT- DINNING ROOM-DAY
Ron tries to catch the owl
Ron:
(angry)
I will kill that owl (while running)
Harry:
Don't be like that.
Ron:
Like what?
Harry:
Like shit.
Ron:
I'll kill you too,
do not fuck with me.
Harry:
Well will you open that letter?
Ron:
yeah..
Ron opens the letter and there was a screaming message
Ron's Mom:
Roooooooon I heard that
you smoked weed again?
I'm going to kill every piece
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of shit in you litlle motherfucker
Im gonna cut off your tongue
and your nose in and
you're gonna look
like Voldemort you piece of
shit, just wait till I get there!
Everyone is laughing again
Ron:
Oh Shit!
What am i going to do now?
Harry:
Go take a bath you smell like shit.
Ron:
Fuck you Harry.
Harry:
I'm here whenever you need help..
Suddenly Hermione appear
Harry:
The Hell Hermione where
have you been,
we were worry about you
Hermione:
Well while you guys were
shitting onto yourselves.
Ron:
Well fuck you too.
Hermione:
Let me finish.
So while you.. (pause)
"minded your own buisnes "
I was searching something in library.
Harry:
And what is that?
Hermione:
It's the bong.
22
Harry:
You are kidding me right?
Hermione
No. This is not ordinary bong,
Harry:
So what is it?
Hermione:
It's called the bong of Wisdom.
Harry:
Bong of what?
Hermione:
Wisdom, it's a special bong
whoever smokes it he can be in
two places at the same time,
He can have whatever he wants,
in other words
he gets some kind of Super Powers
and some pussy too,
everyone wants pussy, don't
they?
Harry:
And you think we can find it?
Hermione:
Of course, actually we must..
Harry:
Why?
Hermione:
Because Voldemort is in
search for it too
Harry:
WHAT?
Hermione:
Yes he wants it, and you
know what would happened
if he finds it before us?
23
Harry:
I think I know.
We must find it.
And we are going to destroy it.
Ron:
(yells)
No, no, no we must smoke it.
Hermione:
I think he's right
I mean the best pot we can smoke
and we're going to miss that?!?
Harry:
Yeah you're probably right
lets find it and smoke it!
But where will we find it??
Hermione:
I know a perfect place to start with.
Nocturn Alley.
Ron:
But it's a scary place
Harry:
Ron don't be such a pussy,
and go take a bath.
Ron:
I'm going to kill you both
after this is done.
After Ron gets a bath, they all were preparing themselves
for a litlle journey.
This scene is continues in their rooms
Harry:
Hermione are you ready?
Hermione:
Yes.
24
Harry:
Ron and you?
Ron:
Not yet.
Harry:
Ron I'm really starting to
think that you're gay.
Ron:
And Harry I'm really
starting to think about killing you.
They get ready and they start their journey
Harry:
This is going to be a long trip I think
Ron:
Yeah should we smoke one
before we go?
Harry:
Yes, we must get relaxed,
and prepare ourselves
they smoked that shit again and finally go, but Melfoj
stop's them
INT. AT THE DOORS IN HOGWARTS- DAY
Melfoj:
I heard you guys!
You are going out of school,
what would Dumbldore say about that?
Ron:
Melfoj could you please fuck off.
Melfoj:
No I can't!
I wont let you to go..
Harry:
Look Melfoj we are not gays
you can't have us.
25
Melfoj:
The fuck are you talking about?
Harry:
We all know your little secret..
Melfoj:
Well fuck you,
I'm heading straight to Dumbledore.
Ron:
Okay just fuck off.
Melfoj:
My father will hear about this
Harry:
You're father will hear
about how much gay you are.
Melfoj is angry again and he tries to start a fight,but Ron
didn't give them to fight
Ron:
Yo Yo chill out guys..
Harry:
One day I will kick your ass so much
that you will not be able to sit
for 2 weeks you motherfucker.
Melfoj:
Keep dreaming..(Leaving)
Harry:
Okay Knockturn Alley next station.
They take wizards dust and it takes them to the
Nocturn Alley.
When they all get there
26
EXT-NOCTURN ALLEY- DAY
Harry:
Okay we are here
What are we going to do now?
Ron:
I think we should Run!!
Hermione:
Ron don't be so spoiled,
we have to find a women called Alessa.
Ron:
Okay cover me.
Harry:
Ron this isn't a video game,
it's just a street with a bad past.
Ron:
Okay but if I die I will
tell you to my mom.
Harry:
And how will you do that
when you're dead?
Ron:
Don't know how but I will.
Harry:
You need to visit a psychiatrist,
seriously.
Ron:
Fuck you.
Hermione:
Okay,
Stop fighting we have arrived
this is her house.
Harry:
This?
Ron:
It's more like a cabin to me
27
Harry:
No it's a cave.
Ron:
It's a plane
Is this for real?
My mouse has a better house
than she does.
Hermione:
Shut up, we are going into
the house and we will find
out where the bong is!
House was very old, with few holes on her.
When they get into the house, Old woman was refusing to tell
them where the bong is
INT. ALLESA HOUSE-NIGHT
Harry:
Look we came here to
ask you where is the bong.
Alessa:
You little bastards,
are you smoking weed again?
I can see every step you make,
too much weed for you.
Leave or I will call Police!
Ron:
You know we are in the land
of wizards,
there is no police.
Alessa:
Oh yes I was totally forgot
So I'm gonna call the dementors!
Harry:
Dementors??
Are you fucking kidding me??
We smoke weed with them
why would you call them?
Look It would really help us
If you just tell us..
Our intention isn't just
28
to smoke weed on that bong.
Ron:
Well maybe a little.
Alessa:
Then why are you looking
for that bong?
Harry:
Hermione found out that
WHO-MUST-NOT-SMOKE WEED (Voldemort)
still wants to smoke weed on that bong
And we all know how powerful
would he be if he smoke it.
Alessa:
Well kid's if it's like that i'll tell you
You must return to Hogwart's
There you will find a room
It's not an ordinary room
That room is called Chamber of Secrets
You will just have to a find way to open it..
Hermione:
I heard of that room..
Harry:
Well what the hell are we waiting for?
Let's go
Thanks Alessa we will
smoke some shit for you too!
I didn't mention that Ron had a phone all the time in his
hand's
They again take wizard dust and arrived in Hogwarts
29
INT. HOGWARTS - DAY
Harry:
Ron what the hell
is with you and your phone?
Ron:
What?
Harry:
What are you doing all the time on that thing?
Ron:
Oh I'm tweeting and shit.
Harry:
How is that possible we are
in the wizard world?
Ron:
Dude. we are not, this is a Movie,
and we are filming,
you see this is studio?
and we have free WI-FI here.
Harry:
You can do that?
Cameraman comes in, takes the phone
Ron:
Well Harry fuck you again.
Harry:
Sorry..
Hermione:
Ok guys I'm going to investigate
something about Chamber of secrets. You
better be nice.
Ron:
Okay
Melfoj approaches again
30
Melfoj:
I told Dumbldore about you guys
Harry:
You asshole
Ron:
Melfoj can I ask you a question?
Melfoj:
Yes??
Ron:
Do you know who's the best
person in the world?
Melfoj:
No who?
Ron:
Your mom. She always
gives us some pussy.
Melfoj:
I will kill you one day
you can be assure on that
Ron:
Yes, yes now go and cry to
your mommy.. blah
Harry:
Let's go eat somethin'
Ron:
Yeah you're right,
I'm hungry like a motherfaker
Harry:
Then shall we?
While they 'r eating
Ron saw a beautiful girl, she was wearing a mini skirt and
have big boobs!
31
INT. DINNING ROOM-NIGHT
Ron:
Harry do you see that
girl over there?
Harry:
Yes why?
Ron:
She's mine it's just
she doesnt know that..
Harry:
You really, really need
to visit a psychiatrist
Ron:
Why?
Harry:
You really think
she would be with you?
Ron:
Yes, why not what's
wrong with me?
Harry:
Well you're ugly,
skinny and besides
that you smoke weed
Ron:
Yes I'm the guy that
girl's dream about
Harry:
Yeah for sure..
Ron:
And I will give her some
love potion too.
Chicks looove love potions.
32
Harry:
What??
Ron:
I can't risk..
Harry:
But that's illegal
Ron:
YOLO
After that Ron goes takes love potion and the rest looks
like this..
INT. DINNING ROOM- NIGHT
Ron approaches to Jamie
Ron:
Can i tell you somethin'?
Jamie:
Yeah but be fast
i don't have time..
Ron:
You are a type of girl
i dream about every night..
Jamie:
Yeah and it will stay like that..
keep dreaming.
Ron:
Dont say that..
Can I atleast buy you a drink or
something it would really means
a lot to me
Jamie:
No.
Ron:
But.. Please?
Jamie:
I said no, now go away
33
Ron:
Please, please, please,
please, please (starts to reapeat that)
Jamie:
Okay...
Just stop it okay?
Harry
(whispers across the hall)
You are idiot.
Next scene is going like this
Ron is taking a love potion and pure it into drink
He brings her a drink
Ron:
Here you go.
Jamie slowely drinks Ron is looking into her all the time.
When love potion is started to work it work out like this
Jamie:
Come Ron i love you
Ron:
Oh please stop it you know
it wouldn't make it between us
want's to be a badd-ass in front of others
Jamie:
I can't live without you
take me.
Ron:
Well a lot of girls
were said me that..
Jamie:
I will give you my pussy?
34
Ron:
Okay see you tonight
Ron is getting to the Harry
Ron:
(singing and jumping)
I got a girl, I got a girl,
I got a girl
Harry:
Shut up, she doesn't
even like you
I can't believe you gave her that.
Ron:
Well you are just jealous
because I will get some
pussy tonight and you wont
Harry:
I get pussy all the time.
Ron:
Yeah and from who?
Harry:
Your mom
Ron:
(yells)
This is it, I can't take it anymore,
COME OVER HERE
Harry running like hell
Harry:
Why you take all
this so serious? (while running)
Ron:
Because you are
one motherfucking asshole
35
Hermione approaches
Hermione:
I said don't act like
a kids what's wrong with you guys
Harry:
Ron found a girl..
Hermione:
What?
Ron:
Yeah jealous?
Hermione:
Why would I be jealous??
Ron only way you can get
a girl is by using a love spell..
Ron:
What??
You think that Jamie got
in love with me because
of some spell?
Hermione:
Yes!
Ron:
Well you are wrong
I gave her a love potion
Hermione:
Same thing..
Hermione:
Besides that I found the way
to unlock Chamber of secrets.
Harry:
Tell us!
Hermione:
(shows him a book)
Look here it says
"Anyone who wants to get in, must get
something out.
Harry:
What could that mean?
Hermione:
I don't know, I think we
must give something, but what?
Harry:
And where the Chamber is ?
Hermione:
Come I'll show you,
I found this map too..
INT. HALLWAY- NIGHT
When they came there was only wall and that was a Chamber
Ron:
You wanna say this wall
is that Chamber?
You must be high.
Hermione:
That is what the map says
Harry:
And what are we going to give?
Hermione:
Dont know
Try something
Ron:
Wait I think I know..
Harry:
What?
Ron lights up a joint
Harry:
The hell are you doing?
Someone will see us.
Ron:
Trust me
Blows the smoke into wall and the Chamber opens
Hermione:
What the fuck?!?
Ron:
Well we are trying to find a bong here
Wouldnt it be logical that
weed smoke opens the door?
Hermione:
Nice work man,
now pass that shit..
Harry:
There's the Bong
In the middle of the room is the bong
Harry:
Let's smoke it..
Ron:
I don't have any weed, this was last.
Harry:
What???
Ron:
Just kidding let's smoke
Voldemort appears in the room
INT. CHAMBER OF SECRET-NIGHT (DARK ROOM)
Voldemort:
So you guys want to
smoke weed without me ?
Harry:
Go away we found it first
Voldemort:
Harry do not fuck with me
I'm your father
Harry:
What?
Voldemort:
Just kidding,I wanted to say that
since i first time watched STAR WARS
Harry:
Expeliarmus...
And the fight begins, spells flying all over the room,
in the meantime
Ron smokes weed on the bong and gets those powers, and he
throws Voldemort into
Azkaban, and all they do is that they hear him saying "I'll be back"
Snape getting into the chamber
Snape:
What are you children doing here?
Ron:
Well we go to this school..
Snape:
Dont act dumb!
What are you doing here in the chamber?
Ron:
Oh that? we found a bong,
and we are smoking weed now and shit you know
Snape:
Well give me some..
Faster, Faster..
Then the whole school comes into the chamber and gets high
Few minutes later Dumbldore also comes in
Dumbldore:
I knew you kids
are gonna find it..
Harry:
Sorry professor We did
not have bad intentions
Dumbldore:
Dafuq, I waited for this 15 years
Now give me that bong,
let's get high
After 15 minutes Ron decided to raise that bong like a
champion and It falls out of his hands
Ron:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(everyone yells noo)
Dumbldore:
You fool.What have you done?
Ron:
I just wanted to celebrate
Hermione:
Never mind anyway if
Voldemort would be able
to find it again he would
kill us, so Its a good thing he broke it.
Harry began to vomit
Harry:
I don't want to smoke anymore
Ron:
You crazy?
Harry:
You know..
Ron:
(interupts him)
You must, don't you remember
what Hagrid said to
you when he met you first time?
Harry:
What?
Ron:
You are going to be
the worlds biggest pothead Harry
Harry:
Yes, you're right,
I can't let him down
Ron:
I told you
Neville:
Do you guys have
some weed for me?
Harry:
So Neville,
it looks like you want weed
even you did all the shit's before
Ron:
Give it to him..
41
So story continues in the Main room of Hogwarts,Dumbldore
gives points for the
best house
Dumbldore:
Another year gone..And now as I understand it
house cup need a winner..
So Slytherin is first with 410 points,
Gryifindor is second with 396 points,
third place takes Hufflepuff
with 150 points
And last place takes
Ravenclaw with 123 points
(Slytherin starts to celebrate,they make a lot of noise)
Silence!!!
It is not over yet
we have some last points to give ..
10 Points for Harry,Hermione and Ron..
They have found the Bong of wisdom and
destroyed it.. (moans to himself assholes)
and 12 points again for Harry, Ron and Hermione we must not
forget they defeated Voldemort once again.
And i give myself 2 points because I'm the boss.
You can't do anything about that.
So Gryfindor is the best house with 420 points.
Can i get a Amen?
Whole school:
Amen
Dumbledore:
Can i get a hallelujah
Whole school:
Hallelujah
Dumbledore:
See you next year..
Good bye.
42
Fade out
Happy end.