Adoption in Literature and Life: Lessons in Love

By Rea Berg

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines adopt as follows: to take by choice into a
relationship; especially: to take voluntarily (a child of other parents) as ones own
child. In the world of literature, adoption is as established a theme as any other
motif common to the worlds greatest works. Adoption in Greek literature predates
even the adoption of the baby Moses into the household of Pharaoh. Consider
Sophocles Oedipus Rex and his abandonment by his natural parents, as well as
Perseus, Paris, Romulus and Remus, and many others, and we see that the notions
of abandonment, involuntary or voluntary relinquishment, and adoption are central
to the human experience.

Even in contemporary culture, the motif of the orphaned child still continues to
resonate with modern sensibilities. In Frances Hodgson Burnetts The Secret
Garden, the protagonist, Mary Lennon is orphaned when both her parents die of the
cholera in India, and she is sent to live with a disagreeable uncle in England. The
classic Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bront presents the exacting travails of the orphaned
Jane as she comes to adulthood against the backdrop of a cruel adoptive family, a
legalistic religious education, and the moral dilemma she confronts when she falls in
love with the strange and distant Mr. Rochester. The heroic Jean Valjean in Les
Miserables adopts Fantines orphaned Cosette after she is abused and neglected by
the cruel Thenardiers. The Boxcar Children series, Anne of Green Gables, the
beloved Pip from Great Expectations, Esther Summerson in Bleak House, and
countless other classic works present the trials, temptations, and triumphs of
adoption.

What seems to be a continual thread through most adoptive literature is that the
orphan child cannot fulfill his or her ultimate destiny without the essential role that
the adoptive family plays. In situations where the adoptive family is less than ideal,
we long for the protagonists to triumph over their adversities, and we root for them
when they succeed and are ultimately vindicated. In the situation with Cosette in Les
Misrables, we rejoice when the abused and neglected child is brought into the
nurturing care of the ex-convict Jean Valjean, who loves her with the tender love of a
father. This is the ideal adoption story.

How powerful these themes are, and how they resonate with something deeply
elemental to the human experience! And while each of the above stories is fictional,
the reality of abandonment, involuntary relinquishment, and adoption are being
played out every day in our country and around the world. What ought these dramas
to teach us, and what should our attitude toward the fatherless be in our day and
culture?

As Christians desiring to project the light of Christ into the brokenness and pain of
our world, how can our faith be actualized in truly concrete and meaningful ways?
James 1:27 puts forth an undeniable challenge to all who wrestle under the weight of
wanting their faith to be authentic, genuine, and truly pleasing to God: Pure religion
and undefiled before God the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their
affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. From Vincents Word
Studies comes this exposition on James 1:27: James strikes a downright blow here
at ministry by proxy, or by mere gifts of money. Pure and undefiled religion demands
personal contact with the worlds sorrow: to visit the afflicted, and to visit them in
their affliction. The rich man, prodigal of money, which is to him of little value, but
altogether incapable of devoting any personal attention to the object of his alms,
often injures society by his donations; but this is rarely the case with that far nobler
charity which makes men familiar with the haunts of wretchedness, and follows the
object of its care through all the phases of his life.
1

Our family had the incredible privilege of adopting two precious girls, aged 16
months and 6 years old, from Ukraine in 2001. Our adoption journey had begun
twenty-five years earlier, when we first began caring about women in crisis
pregnancy and helped to found a center offering services to women in our
community. Our involvement in helping women facing difficult decisions in regard to
unwanted pregnancy naturally led to a passion for the children who were
relinquished for adoption. Little did we know that this involvement would lead us
across the Atlantic to Eastern Europe and to Tatiana and Katie.

Our journey of five weeks in Ukraine was one of the greatest challenges weve ever
experienced. We saw haunts of wretchedness indeed, including hundreds of
children in institutions, with hungry bellies and the hollow eyes of those who face
unknown and bleak futures. We were forced to leave our newly adopted daughter at
a hospital so barren and run down that we at first thought it was abandoned. Our
hearts were broken watching Ukrainian street children as they fought to survive
against a harsh and cruel world. Everywhere we looked, the needs were so
overwhelming that our comfortable lives back home seemed a shame and
embarrassment.

But against this backdrop, we also saw incredible kindness. We were humbled by the
tenderness and care given to the orphan children by caregivers who worked long
hours for $15 a month. We were blessed by the hospitality of those who had very
little other than generous hearts. We were inspired by the devotion of those who
have none of this worlds goods but are rich in faith. We were particularly touched by
the joie de vivre of little children, who, with neither parents nor homes, still greeted
us each day in the orphanage with bright smiles and excited coos.

Eleven years later, our adoption journey continues, and our lives have been
enlarged, our hearts expanded, and our family enriched. The adoption journey is
challenging, sometimes difficult, but worth every bit of that. Our daughter Hilary,
who was 19 the year we adopted the girls, wrote a beautiful tribute to them that she
read at their dedication service, which sums up all our hearts and feelings regarding
the blessing and privilege of bringing two incredible lives into ours.

Tatiana and Katie are the names of the most significant event that has
happened to me recently. It is strange how two little girls, only six and
two, can change your life forever. They can turn your world upside
down, make you cry and laugh, make you go crazy, yet give you so
much joy. These are no ordinary little girls though.

In March of 2001, Tatiana and Katie came into my life, and the lives of
my entire family. My parents had made the long trip to the Ukraine for
the purpose of picking out the two little ones that I call my sisters.
Two girls with backgrounds we know very little about, parents we have
not met, and in the case of the older child, speaking a language we do
not understand. These two beautiful girls walk in our door and all of a
sudden, they are part of our family. You have been hearing about
them, and you start to love them. Then you see them, and that love
grows, and it continues to grow as you care for them. Before you know
it, you cannot imagine your life without them. They become such a
deep part of you that you no longer notice or even remember that in
fact you have no blood relation to them. They are your sisters, they
always will be, it seems they always have been.

This addition to our family is the most significant event of my life.
These girls have taught me so much. You have thought for the last few
years that you have overcome your childish tendencies to be selfish,
and that you have become responsible. Then these two children come
into your life and you learn anew. You realize that indeed you are a
selfish person, not selfish with toys, but selfish with your time and
energy. You realize that you are not a responsible person when you
consider the responsibility that a baby requires of you. I had thought
that I was grown up, but I learned afresh that I am also just a child.
And so, these girls make you grow up. You have to; they require it of
you, and you love them for it.

They have shown me true bravery. They were plucked from all that
was normal for themall that was comfortable. Taken to a strange
country, with strange food, a language they had never heard, and a
family. They had no concept of family, having spent their lives in an
orphanage, and yet they adapted. They never cried, never trembled.
They were strong, they were trusting, they never stopped smilingin
short, they displayed greater bravery than I have seen.

I know that patience does not carry the shallow meaning I thought it
did; patience is taking the time to listen to a six-year-olds broken
English as she stumbles over her words. My sisters have taught me so
much about myself, they have made my weaknesses so obvious, but
in their own special way, they have shown me my strengths. I have
learned the meaning of bravery, responsibility, and family from them.
More than anything, they have taught me what love istrue, sacrificial
lovethe kind of love that can make strangers into family.

The mandate of James 1:27 at face value seems to urge us to help the widow and
the orphan for their sake. There is a sort of poetic irony (divine irony?) in the fact
that, though the orphan and widow do need material help, it is our hard and stony
hearts that need the spiritual help that only the widow and orphan can give. These
are the best gifts of all.


Rea Berg has homeschooled for more than twenty-five years and loves organic
gardening, travel to historic sites, nineteenth-century literature, and dance. Rea has
a B.A. in English from Simmons College and a graduate degree in childrens
literature. She has written numerous guides for studying history through literature
and has republished many classic childrens works. With her husband, she owns
Beautiful Feet Books (www.bfbooks.com) and can be emailed at
rea@bfbooks.com. She blogs about childrens literature at www.reaberg.com

Endnote:
1. Vincent, M. R. Vincents Word Studies. Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew Lexicon. (Qtd.
from Lecky, History of European Morals, ii., 98). www.Biblio.com. Accessed 17
May 2012. bible.cc/james/1-27.htm


Copyright 2012, used with permission. All rights reserved by author. Originally
appeared in the July 2012 issue of The Old Schoolhouse Magazine, the family
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