i

. ~ ~ ~~ ~ -,-~ .,.
~ ~ ,- ~ :\~ . ~ '. ~
*'-.,.- - 1.%- ^. r r^
I'- -ii ru•
LII 3L D rooK

ES'
features pa er
community news and
the

Vol. XXVI, Issue 10 "We're so goddamn arrogant... but rightfully so!" February 22, 2005
c on a hot a.-fternoo'-
The'y cale together in os '-gles,
.. howli:3 Ta
; an".clawing at each other like wild beasts in
-
h-at. Under brown- Califor.tia. sky, t
-9-'1-f-E,
ts, i.dols,
-titans..Beh]et.-... They stood for ev-rything-,ood a True -dand -Ri:ght in the Aerican Spirit. Because theyhadguts. Ad they yearned for the Uti ate Glory,
t:heG-eat:-:Pri- e, the Final Fruits of a. long and vicious c m-aign,' . Victoy In t::heSupe Bowl: ,000 e'ach They were hungry for it:. They were thi
twenty weeks , from Agust tiough Deceier- athey. had struggled to. reach this Pinnacilea- andl wI.hen dawn lit the beaches of Southern Califor'nia on tha fate
;ful Sunday
mr-ni.g: in they were- eady-
'anu:.imry, ,I seizea the Finia Fruia t T''he could amost taste it. The smell was stronger than a. ton of-r otten mangoes, T
.ei
r nerves
........
bur:ed like -ope sores :n a. dog's . neck., -- White1 L 3 i
].ck.ues ' i3
i.ld
.. ey.s. de.......a
.. -;'..- Stra:ge. fluid -weiled ,p in their
: i.hoats'- ew:.th
r a '--.f..-...'
taste far shar er than bil.e, rsty. FoJ
Behem.,otchs,
Those who went early said the. pr1-gahme tension,,as aimost unbearab.le B1-ynoon,; many fans were weeping openly,- for no apparent reason" .Others wrung t heir hands
o- na..edc.on the necks of pop bottles, t:ryig t.o .stay ca .:. Ma..y ::ist.-:.ights were reportied :ip the public crinals.. Nervous ushers roamed up. and do
confiscating alcoholic beverages and occasi.onally grappling with. drunkads Gangs of Seconal-crazed tee.agers prowledathrough the pairking lots outsi
e the sta-
dium, beating the mortal shit ot. of lucl-ess stranges, What? Noa,.Grantland Rice [one of Nixon' s favorite a'uthorsj wo'uld nev-er .have wr itte3 --weird a Ic.like
stuff
th:t: His pros:'e was "pare & lean; his .descriptions ,straight: fro."m th:e gut:...s.nd on the:. are and i
ittie ..-advised o-casions when he wanted t-o do a "Thi .hk -Piece, -
he cal.ed on the a.alytic powers of his medulla< Lie all- great spLorcswri.ters, Rice understood that hi.s world might go all to pieces if he ever dare -d to doibt
that his eyes we.e wired ,straight-,-o his lower brain.--; sort; of- de facto lobotomy% which enables t-e grinning vi.tim to operate e.ntirely on the level-
the i:.:t -line.cker.n -the $30:/00-a-year
face of.a yes, simple puJ,
as he hot
ea-s ard.-d the ,ass
.?e.r:ept:on,.Gr.een" . sun,
corner on .sharp a 'cleats in power
Lombardi-styie fth.nd.ring
swep a shapfrom
and cracks chee:s- <the cr:owd,.
plastic the into
shoulder the scw,,i
mena.ing s groi. te li

athe e'pc a. a
oot-, i-e ba.si,:.-:i-i c
stsapo i.-th'sa C.a, back & a. rBit.iYook off - -saT'-
ike a ipi.e.i-erse
t- s y...-: e.d .. l de s h e
aounsk<i.rd
.. s:i.,-,.mRig-d. -
'.:df r / e-re,:
s -ohi t'e roo:f f, the mass-ve :a.r:in a wic"e s :):'.
th p.af.." : curt.ry, and spot: swr i are mai-:
s.eble for it Witor"a few ex...eptio..spa-
'e like Ladsyte aThi New orek Times an "om .sin" of t-e -(nodardefu"nc) Wasti"ngt. on Daily ine.ws,spor swra
' a.. .e. '-.C'
ksin, f ".,- a.d. b:r,.:i.e , .u ,: - of- fao
re.:a
'- . -'!
st dr' ks w;s-.:"
:ly i :, a. f.:.,tic ,is i::-g!;bolidi e & sell was",fde-,: the spo.ts editpo:psen.dsaout .t c
wa,w.i.: w, t
,ama a' a Hoing, b.eea.d.em
a..... it .-ee's o.an
''b-sy- 'a.d. 'Ceqtigs
ka' no thought at:.
--a.... :" e keys to. success aes.a -'a
a s , a - a._
sports..iter ..) .i
''""a
booze,,.and;
:notidce
. Lg"ht -a--"--
-
pe an1 edi'o to.kh-i.e
a.othe1rocsins
''-". at g. the
t'3 e
,o. or apoesmln" promodetearitwi',ho
b:.ne,,and
an- ....of redsyis tod
2 'Re' ''a hI an- deat a id paper sa
FCI abs a w
'u derf gi upl'
i t e ae at isa s l
''!,,
'e go ac o ijstanp y stompin,
a dn':r
ack stomps
: Hosemen"."
p
somethiga wra'g w"ith
.. alead
-. thatd
,. •sai' "The
gn-ecisi a
.........
ost
.-jackha-y
....
...
.. rN.
of he i o.. w t pe thou ..sghe.s:
a..a . singo conscios
rt-.rendi"ng
;
tog.
...
.........
.......
...
.. . ,. .V... ..... .-...... ....: ,._ . . ... ..-.." " .....".•.
,..I..-...... " . ....,z ...
' , ,.-... .... . t ,,-
10 ..,
J- ,a- , .. .1. .- ...- -"-,,• • •.' -•__.
,o o•:.- -.':•. .•.,;
.. :.4•'•...
ana-d"Ca.- with ch pre-isLio-ick-t r ate: an ther -
eustd a
thiddlee miaed with. pi.eoine a-i--,rn
--- ecision ' a-dss in'o the foit and nmo-bus hadmr r... :orty bull..
-i.ve a oot
•'
a:ond b-t:a'-'.'," i:-.'ht - d the:a--- w'-,C:ie g'.:-is of G"a.t:.,andR aet
Rce r e a:.. a .p. Lh-esKauus so t:.,a-:."aThe 'thur-ing 4:oe, ha ad.i s ":f the .FouFlorida, i
8t -:cor' one
-Hiroecho,-a . s Core thas
d: .'c- same ar- at: aph, and toe'e "Gdobransit--areva sk:ae i-n 'is .eadwas a dcarl wreus ing- prg 'L ine. hiyis ecas releas-
.or.l...
s" that i w I plantJ to.- nex a, in bth pap. ws wnderfulgig, iretros'ct• , d at tims I wis" go back to it-just p
a big hat;-'
sphit, pai -eaise otsiti.i was-t:he ol',f t:h-Cng o I c,::d do tCha. anyoi-dy was eai-g t: a -'.:
T ' -a
t". eoed- the'ola'
And nane e I wMote apc s seemedC-.ar'
-

.is men for

e slums of
sp np;~aACeHy with Chief 8- . 'him. have: '-r .i of e o t a ..-,. . 9 's bte a a l dary }wn t:.o have

--
Many members of USG have come forward
to tell of the conspiracy to take over USG first
revealed in the February 9, 2005 issue of The
Stony Brook Press. While some have been will-
ing to speak on the record, some, out of fear,
have only been willing to talk to The Press on
condition that their identities be withheld, and
still others only off the record.
As described in that issue, a conspiracy
exists, headed by Irfan Syed, who was named by
USG to head the Committee on Religious Entities
[CORE]. USG established CORE to fund non-sec-
ular activities of religious groups and organiza-
tions on campus, but which, in its first act,
wrote to USG that USG itself is a group subject to
CORE, making USG a subsidiary organization
answerable to CORE and bringing it under the
direct control of Syed. USG immediately sus-
pended CORE after it sent the letter. CORE's
suspension is set to last until such time as the
USG Judiciary rules on whether or not the CORE
Laws violate the USG Constitution.
At a meeting of the Senate on February
8, at which the article in The Press was pre-
sented, several Senators came forward and said
that they had also been approached to join
Syed's conspiracy. As a result the Senate pro-
posed that an ad hoc committee be established to
investigate the facts presented in The Press'
article. A further investigation by The Press
ensued, and was met with cooperation by some
members of the student government, and fear by
others.
At the February 15 Senate meeting, USG
President Jared Wong informed The Press that
the decision to investigate this matter via an ad
hoc committee had been reversed and that no
such committee would be formed. At the time of
this article, it is unclear how, or if, USG will
conduct an investigation.
Syed's control of the Senate does not end
with Senator Andrew Thompson. The Press has
confirmed claims that Syed has control over
Senators Richard Hsu, Huy Huynh, Jackie Wu,
and Vincent Rasulo, as well as the recently-
elected Chair of the Elections Board, Robert J.
Romano. According to these sources, also
I.;.- -1 *1
4.' _ A1 - LUrUdU
involvea witn Syea are
Executive Vice President
Jeff Kruszyna, as well as
former Senator Jon Lawson
and former C.S.A..
[Commuter Student
Association] President Jim
Driscoll.
One US.G member
who was willing to be iden-
tified and speak on the
record, Sam _Darguin,
President Pro Tempore of
USG, told The Press in
response to a question
from The Press as to Syed
and his group's plans for
the Senate, "Their whole
model was that the Senate
cannot operate unless the
garbage or the people who
are ninaering tne Senate
are taken out. Their main goal was to throw out,
like a witch hunt, basically, people they felt
didn't belong in the Senate, people they felt
didn't have the same agenda as they had in the
Senate." Syed is not a member of the Senate, and
does not, in fact, hold any office or position with
USG.
President Darguin further said that
Irfan Syed tried to cpnvince him to join his con-
spiracy to take control of USG, working to fur-
ther Syed's agenda. He was told by Syed, "I have
the power to make you President Pro Tempore of
the Senate. Me and my Senators will .make sure
Page 2
"Witch Hunt" to Take Over USG
·, ndrew Pernick and Marcel Votlucka
that you come in." Said Darguin in an interview, Irfan wanted to use that to impeach him." Syed
"That was one of the quotes from Mr. [Irfan] Syed managed to obtain a copy of the e-mail and enti-
trying to have me become part of his malicious tled it "The Case Against Esam" and told the
group of Senators to try to disrupt the process- Senators at the pre-Senate meeting that because
es of USG." President Darguin said that he has of this al-Shareffi should be impeached.
always acted independently in his office, on Senator Kuba continued, "The second I
behalf of all students, and has never joined Syed saw it [the e'-mail] I ripped it up. The whole row
in his scheme or worked with him to further it. of Senators that was next to me all ripped it up
President Darguin continued, also and one of the other Senators told me that
"Basically, several Senators have come up to me they found a picture of me online and my face
r
me....
with concerns, telling was rea. itt was
realy re..
wasreaiiy was me rip-
me, especially last ping it."
semester, that they As to the purpose of the
have been approached conspiracy, Senator Kuba
by Mr. Syed and sever- said Syed complained that
al of the Senators basi- certain groups, mentioning
cally trying [to] get Hillel and the Gospel Choir
them to vote in certain by name, were getting
ways to trying [sic] to toomuch funding, and others,
give them prior infor- specifically the Muslim
mation on bills that Student Association [MSA],
they want passed to Chabad and Baptist Campus
basically get the Ministry were not getting
Senate's support in enough. According to Senator
passing those bills." Kuba, Syed "didn't mention
President Darguin MSA too much to me because
later narrowed the he would try to put it in per-
time-frame to late spective tome, a pretty good
September-October strategy by him, because he
2004. knows I'm Jewish and go to
Also according Chabad and know the Rabbi.
to President Darguin, He was saying why should
boeore nis election ne 01%i,, I
utospei
r - A U;
hiuir an
i I 4-
IJni e.u geL
was invited to a meeting at the University Cafe money but not Chabad? That's what he'd always
where a number of people, including Syed, were tell me."
present, and "they were watching a video tape Senator Kuba continued, however, that
and mocking the other Senators that were trying Syed "never made it a religious whatever. He
to take a stance against them." made it the groups that could be thought of as
President Darguin said his suspicions religious versus the actual religious groups that
were aroused by the letter sent to USG by Syed are getting money. He never made it about indi-
as head of CORE, claiming that USG is subject to vidual religions."
CORE's authority. USG suspended CORE after As Senator Kuba told The Press, "at the
that letter was sent. subcommittee meeting, I think it was agreed
Although The Press has spoken with a upon that each one of the five that he brought
number of other members of USG who have cor- up, Chabad, M,S.A., Baptist Campus Ministry
roborated President Darguin's statements and and two others, would each get $750 and then
provided further information, others have Jared [Wong, President of USG] would give $250
Ia u lxr iy
; from his Presidential Discretionary Fund $250
agreeC tL coupterate uLu y u
the condition that their to each one. That was what we agreed upon at the
statements be off the record subcommittee meeting."
and their identities with- Regarding other aspects of the investiga-
held. Several said outright tion, President Pro Tempore Darguin noticed
that they were afraid of that there was a startling similarity to the bills
retribution from Syed and introduced to the Senate, which to him indicat-
his allies and either ed that they were written by the same group,
refused to talk with The although they were introduced to the Senate by
Press, or insisted on different Senators. He continued, "The reason
anonymity. a lot of these bills look so familiar is because
One person willing to it's the same core group that comes down and
speak on the record is writes these things. They change small, differ-
Senator Kfier Kuba, who ent things to different acts. If you saw, espe-
confirmed that Syed "was cially since the beginning of the semester, a lot
going to try to impeach [USG of the acts that were put forth were basically of
Executive Vice President] the same structure."
Esam [al-Shareffi] and he Several sources confirmed that many
said he didn't want anyone pieces of legislation introduced to the Senate
to know about it, he wanted were written by Greg Lubicich at the behest of
it to be a surprise so that Syed. Lubicich is a Stony Brook student who is
hi ;*
-11
,1 - i
p1 w uI
A
II
t.
L.
b not a member of USG. One source, speaking on
spoiled somehow." The plot to impeach Vice the condition of' anonymity, stated that Lubicich
President al-Shareffi was reported in the would often give Syed-controlled Senators bills
February 9, 2005 edition of The Press. to introduce to the Senate during Syed's pre-
According to Senator Kuba, Syed rou- Senate meetings held in the C.S.A. office. Often
tinely meets with a group of Senators at the present at these pre-Senate meetings, sources
S.A.C. before Senate meetings. At one such say, were Senators Thompson, Hsu, Wu, Huynh,
meeting he circulated an e-mail which had been Rasulo and Lawson.
sent to incoming Senators by then-USG Apparently because of this investiga-
Executive Vice-President Esam al-Shareffi, who tion, a reporter for The Press, a former member
offered to meet with them to advise them on of Syed's conspiracy and another individual
Senate procedures to "get them up to speed," in with knowledge of Syed's activities have all been
Senator Kuba's words. "Esam wanted to have an threatened, and have filed police reports.
informal meeting with the new Senators and
 The Problem
With CORE
By Mike Billings
At the USG Senate meeting on February
15th, Irfan Syed, Chair of the currently defunct
Council of Religious Entities (CORE), formed
what he claims to be the first political party in
USG, the Coalition of Righteous Egalitarians,
henceforth referred to as the "CORE party."
While the merit of political parties in student
government is a debate out of the scope of this
article, the CORE party is an interesting phe-
nomenon. Led by Syed and comprised of sever-
al USG senators, including Andrew Thompson,
Richard Hsu and Vincent Rasulo, the ostensible
purpose of the CORE party is vague at this
point. When one looks deeper, however, it is
fairly clear that this new political party is just
another vehicle for Syed to organize his
Senatorial puppets and attain power over USG.
The Press has had knowledge of Syed's
ultimate goal for months, and that goal was
reported by Sam Goldman in the December 3r d,
2004 edition of the paper. According to what
Syed told Executive Editor Joe Pilippazzo, Syed
wishes to change the way the student activity
fee is distributed. As of now, USG forms sever-
al subcommittees representing the different
types of clubs on campus, and these subcom-
mittees review the budget requests of the clubs'
and organizations that fall under their partic-
ular umbrella. Instead of this, Syed would like
to implement a check-off system, which he
refers to as "direct democracy," that would
decide how the fee is distributed. Basically,
the mandatory fee would still be paid, but stu-
dents would log onto SOLAR and indicate which
clubs would receive a giyen amount of that stu-
dent's activity fee.
As was stated in the aforementioned
article by Sam Goldman, this type of referenda
voting was deemed illegal in the cases of Board
of Regents of the University of Wisconsin v.
Southworth, et al. and Southworth v. Grebe. In
these cases, the courts found that mandatory
student activity fees in a public university
were legal, and that if such a fee is in place at
a given university, the distribution of said fee
must be viewpoint neutral. In accordance with
the educational goals of a public university, it
is imperative that all speech, even unpopular
speech, be protected. In these cases, this'pro-
tection takes the form of eliminating all forms
of favoritism when dispersing the fee. This is
precisely the reason that Stony Brook has elim-
inated the referenda system, and it is precise-
ly the reason that Syed's goals are illegal.
Syed's "direct democracy" is simply a more
comprehensive referenda system. If this sys-
tem were implemented, there is no way that the
activity fee would be distributed in a viewpoint
neutral manner, since students could easily
squelch whatever speech or activities he or she
found distasteful.
Ironically, the aforementioned court
cases also make the Council of Religious Entity
laws, or CORE laws, just as illegal; despite the
A National ID Card Bill
Passes in House of Reps
The House of Representatives has passed
a bill that critics claim amounts to creating a de
facto national ID card. The Real ID Act (HR
418), passed on Thursday, February 10,
requires that states comply with federal stan-
dards for driver's licenses. Licenses would
henceforth contain what the bill calls "a com-
monr machine-readable technology," which
could mean a magnetic strip and/or an RFID
chip. RFIDs (Radio Frequency Identification
tags) transmit information about a person's
movements to a central computer.
The bill standardizes not only the kinds
of documentation that people must present in
order to get a license, it also provides that the
Department of Homeland Security is to be held
responsible for drafting the details of what
other kinds of information could be required-
given expanding technology, this may include
biometric information such as retina scans,
fingerprints and even DNA information.
Henceforth, state issued IDs would
require a digital photograph, so that the images
may be kept in computer files-presumably to
be-transferred to other agencies if desired. In
addition, paper copies of source documents-
birth certificates, Social Security cards, et
cetera-would be kept on record for years under
the terms of the bill. ID cards that fail to meet
the prescribed requirements would not be used
by any federal agency for any purpose.
Moreover, the bill also provides for
states to provide databases with applicants'
information; which can be shared with other
government agencies under the provisions of
the bill.
On top of all this, the bill also contains
a proposal to build a fence along the California-
Mexico border.
The Real-ID Act's supporters claim that
it is aimed at standardizing identification pro-
cedures as a way of thwarting illegal immigra-
tion and terrorism. The bill's official stated
purpose is "{t]o establish and rapidly imple-
ment regulations for State driver's license and
identification document security standards, to
prevent terrorists from abusing the asylum
laws of the United States, to unify terrorism-
related grounds for inadmissibility and
removal, and to ensure expeditious construc-
tion of the San Diego border fence." By enforc-
ing these new regulations, supporters argue
that terrbrists will be made less able to abuse
asylum laws to enter the US, government agen-
cies will be better able to exchange informa-
tion, and, therefore, Americans will be more
secure. Supporters also point out that if bio-
metric information such as fingerprints and
even DNA information is to be included on fed-
eralized drivers' licenses, this could make
identity theft more difficult.
However, the bill's opponents argue that
this standardization is tantamount to a nation-
al ID card, that it undermines state's rights,
that maintaining databases will lead to massive
invasions of privacy and that the bill cannot
and will not prevent terrorist acts or stop ille-
gal immigration. Furthermore, they argue that
people fleeing from repression in foreign lands
will be made less able to claim asylum in the US
because of the bill's provisions.
It is the proposed databases that the
bill's opponents find particularly disturbing.
Section 203 of the Real ID Act provides for a
"Driver's License Agreement," in which states
will maintain databases and share information
with other state agencies-including records of
motor vehicle violations, suspensions and
By Marcel Votlucka
points on licenses, in addition to addresses,
Social Security numbers and information on
immigration status. If states do not comply,
they will be ineligible for certain federal
funds.
Opposition comes from a broad range of
groups, liberal and conservative alike. In par-
ticular, firearm rights groups such as Gun
Owners of America and civil libertarians such
as the ACLU contend that the new regulations
make state DMVs agents of the federal govern-
ment, a situation which they contend is a viola-
tion of Constitutional principles. Gun Owners
of America argues that the new regulations
could mean that the federal government could
gain total control over who may obtain a dri-
ver's license and abuse that power.
Others warn that if denied one of the
new breed of IDs, people may be unable to trav-
el freely on planes or'trains, and lose access
federal courthouses or any place administered
by the federal government. Critics say this sit-
uation could create innumerable problems for
may people in their daily lives.
The White House strongly supported the
bill, which passed the House with 95% of House
Republicans supporting it. House Democrats,
on the other hand, overwhelmingly opposed the
bill, with 75% voting "nay." Rep. Eleanor
Holmes Norton criticized the Republicans'
advocacy for the bill, "I thought the other side
of the aisle extols federalism at all times...So
what's happening now? Why are those who
speak up for states whenever it strikes their
fancy doing this now?"
Criticism is not limited to Democrats,
however. Ron Paul, a Texas Republican, angri-
ly denounced the bill on the House floor. He was
one of the few House Republicans who voted
against the measure. Rep. Paul argued, "this
bill is a Trojan horse. It pretends to offer des-
perately needed border control in order to
stampede Americans into sacrificing what is
uniquely American: our constitutionally pro-
tected liberty." He addressed the proposed
databases-the information in which will be
shared with Canada and Mexico-and pointed out
the realistic possibility that corrupt officials
may abuse information or even give or sell it to
others for their own use-including terrorists.
Rep. Paul continued, "There are no prohi-
bitions against including such information in
the database as inforniation about a person's
exercise of First Amendment rights or about a
person's appearance on a registry of firearms
owners."
Rep. Paul addressed a claim by the bill's
supporters that it is voluntary and is not real-
ly a nationalized ID card. "Supporters claim
the national ID scheme is voluntary. However,
any state that opts out will automatically make
non-persons out of its citizens. The citizens of
that state will be unable to have any dealings
with the federal government because their ID
will not be accepted." Echoing warnings about
how the bill may ultimately impede citizens'
ability to travel freely if they are actively
denied access to a card or for some reason do
not have one, he warned, "In essence, in the eyes
of the federal government they will cease to
exist. It is absurd to call this voluntary, and
the proponents of the national ID know that
every state will have no choice but to comply."
The Real ID Act will have to pass in the
Senate before it becomes a law. It is expected to
come to a vote soon, possibly attached to war
spending for Iraq.
Page 3
-
In a time when U.S. political leaders
flaunt their one-world visions and exalt the
imposition of,"universal" standards and ideals
onto other peoples, it's nice to know they see fit
to exempt themselves from certain rules that
should apply to everyone. Especially when those
rules don't fit their rigid neo-liberal ideolo-
gies. At least there's consistency in this
hypocrisy. That's right, it's international
agreement time.
For ten days in December of 1997, 150
countries met in Kyoto, Japan for what the New
York Times called the first attempt on this scale
by humanity "to use deliberate, collective fore-
sight on a risk whose full impact will not be felt
for decades." Last Wednesday, ceremonies took
place in the .same city, and in everywhere',
heralding the Kyoto accords as international
law. But as with all environimental legislation,
this accomplishment should be taken with a
grain of salt. "Let us celebrate," announced Kofi
Annan, "but let us not be complacent." Now that
the party is over, giant leaps are needed follow-
ing the baby-step. We-are badly behind sched-
u le .
Wednesday's implementation, four years
after the U.S. pulled out of the agreement, has
further anachroriized American arrogance and
mass-marketed short-sightedness. This
American myopia, brought to you by conserva--
tive think tanks and energy company front
groups, most often takes the form of skepticism
of the science that proves human-induced glob-
al climate change is occurring, as well. as the
extreme exaggeration of any short-term eco-
nomic price or effort on behalf of these compa-
nies. With a little help from the media (i.e., lost
cause), the next few years should be a wake up
call to anyone who is still stuck debating
whether or not we are actually causing it. And
no matter what Michael Crichton will tell you,
these arguments of skepticism are the direct
result of a stubborn kleptocracy that has a lot to
lose from adhering to international environ-
mental regulations, and of industrial giants who.
can't see past the ends of their bankroll. That's
about it; Halliburton had no opportunity to
profit from Kyoto. All else is just poetics.
And no matter what our corporate estab-
lishment will tell you, there really are no eco-
nomic reasons for not wanting to ratify an
agreement as mild as Kyoto, whose main goal is
to reduce emissions from developed countries to
5% below 1.990 levels, by 2012. It turns out that
investing in environmentally friendlier tech-
nologies rewards countries economically. It
makes industry more efficient and creates eco-
nomic growth, and just like the EU, we're more
than capable of achieving modest goals.
Page 4
Alone in Ky(Dto
By Brian Wasser
Overcoming the inertia of an extremely comfort- should we have to regulate our energy use when
able energy corporatocracy just seems to be Mexico and China don't have to? It follows the
more difficult in this country. But Kyoto does-' parallel argument often made, that if we don't
n't even demand much at all in the first place. If consume as much oil as we see fit in America,
Kyoto posed any real economic threat, or asked some other country will. This is where Kyoto is
any unreasonable requests, even Sweden would- step ahead of the advertised resistance. Most
n't have accepted it. After all, industry opposi- people don't know, for example, that Kyoto.
tion to environmental regulation doesn't just allows developed nations to finance emissions
happen in the U.S.: it happens everywhere, and reduction projects in developing countries
Kyoto's mildness, in the face of a threat even the instead, or that, last week, China called Bush's
Pentagon deems more immediate than terrorism, bluff by making a veritable energy U-turn
a threat Annan calls "one of the biggest chal- amidst environmental concerns, halting the
lenges of the 21st Century," is a result of that construction of 22 major power stations. So,
opposition. there's really no way around it--America needs
So what's the significance of Kyoto any- to get her finger out of her ass and stop blaming
way, especially since the U.S. and Australia, countries who have always done more to combat
which preside over .the world's highest per climate change in the first place. It's time to
capita greenhouse emissions, are not on board'? finally step up.
But instead, energy companies today
spend more electing officials and avoiding reg-
ulations than would cost to follow and move
beyond such regulations. They tell us we have a
choice: to live comfortably, or to live in unlit
caves. They tell us there's a desire by the rest
of the world, including the comparatively ener-
gy-conscious EU, to subvert American cultural
and socioeconomic privilege. The fact that the
soundness of our climate is at stake is obscured
and we're taught to be cynical of any real issue.
"The American way of life is not negotiable." I
guess Daddy Bush was right; but it's partly our
fault for buying into it. We will never willingly
give up the mass consumables, the SUV, and the
comfort of a perpetually lighted driveway,
because America is always first, even if an idiot
could see the holes in the "if we don't use it,
someone else will" argument. It hurts everyone
when certain countries selfishly prevent others
from moving beyond wood and coal. Given finite
resources, it makes sense for those who are most
Ignoring Lichtenstein, perhaps this fact alone technologically advanced and most gluttonous
offers clues. Nowhere have energy companies in the first place to take the helm. Otherwise,
been as successful in both' stifling political the divide between developing and developed
support for such cooperation, and creating a countries will, only increase, and that's not
popular culture that profits them and resists much of a global vision. Kyoto's participants
change, than in these two countries. (the rest of the world) see that. Why can't we?
The fact that America is relatively insu- But the problem isn't just cultural and
lated should come as no surprise, but the level political. Kyoto's implementation has hurdled
of animosity towards, and rejection of, the views some institutional inertia as well. The impacts
of'the a world that seems to know more than us of climate change are distant and vague, while
how to cooperate, is probably worse than we'd the institutions that affect it are structured to
like to think. Senator Hagel made no secret of it select always for short-term self-interest.
when the protocol appeared in 1997 when he Reconciling short and long-term interests is
said that "it will not see the light of day in the almost impossible, but the tide may be starting
United States" if the same emissions regulations to shift. The significance of last Wednesday's
are not binding for developing nations as they event can be found more in this cooperative
are for developed nations who . sign it. symbolism than in any effect Kyoto will have on
Convenient for those who promote it, this com- actually mitigating climate change. We'll leave
mon argument makes sense initially...why' that for what comes next.
 __

Peace and I
Over tt
For as long as I can remember, the
countries of the Middle East were always in
constant conflict with each other. It seems
like every time the possibility of peace
arises, an obstacle is thrown in its path. In
recent weeks, the state of affairs has been
both tragic and hopeful in this shaky region.
The free elections, the peace summits,
assassination and terrorist attacks are just
a few of the headlines making waves across
the globe. So, exactly what is going on over
there?

The Sharm el Sheikh Peace Summit"

On February 8th, Egyptian

President Hosni Mubarak invited several
leaders of Middle Eastern countries to the
Red Desert Resort in Cairo to discuss how to
bring peace throughout their land. In a his-
torical move, Palestinian Authority Leader
Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister
Ariel Sharon agreed to end hostilities
between their countries. It has been five
years since the 2000 Camp David summit
where Yasser Arafat and Ehud Barak unsuc-
cessfully tried to work on a lasting peace
between each other's nations. They both
walked away; Arafat believing that the com-
promises proposed were not enough and
Barak reasoning that his side had bargained
as much as they possibly could. In
November, Arafat passed away, and the pos-
sibility of peace between the Israeli and
Palestinian people surfaced. President
Mubarak stated, "both sides showed a seri-
ous desire to work together truly and sin-
.cerely." Prime Minister Sharon promised to
terminate Israel's military operations
against the Palestinians in return for the
end of violence directed against Israelis.
The Islamic fundamentalist group Hamas
finally also agreed to cease acts of violence,
as long as all other militant groups also
agree to a ceasefire. They are regarded as a
terrorist group which is hell-bent on
destroying the state of Israel, and they are The Iraq Free Elections
largely responsible for the violence against
the Israeli citizens and military. This is a The Iraqi Elections results are
genuine step towards a lasting peace finally in. The 275-seat assembly is domi-
between the two embittered nations, they nated by the Shiites, taking up 140 seats.
were two of the key players in the violence. The underdog Kurdistan Alliance holds 75
Israel also promises to free some 500 seats and the rest went to Interim Prime
Palestinian prisoners and allow former Minister Ayad Allawi's party and others.
Palestinian employees to work in Israel Saddam's Sunni Arabs have long dominated
again. However, there are still about 8,000 the government and now a complete reversal
prisoners being held, and those allowed to role has taken place. The Shias, who made
be released cannot be someone who commit- up sixty per cent of the population, have
ted an act of violence against an Israeli. been long oppressed by Saddam's regime
and are ecstatic with the turnout.
More will be released in the months that fol- The
low. The Libyan leader Muammar Qadhafi Kurds are the minorities of Iraq, only mak-
was also present and discussed the situationing up about twenty per cent of the popula-
in Lebanon, the state of Iraq and Sudan's tion, and the major election success is some-
troubled Darfur region. The next Arab thing short of a miracle to them. The Kurds'
peace talk is to be held in Algeria in March.status in Iraq has always been unstable,
with their limited autonomy under the US
Sudan and the African Union and British imposed no-fly zones following
the first. Gulf War, and their constant ten-
For decades, in Sudan, there has sion with the Shiites and Sunnis who tried to
been conflict between two Muslims group, control their region. The Sunnis, who previ-
the Arabs 'and the non-Arab Africans. ously enjoyed all the powers in Iraq, are
Sudan is ruled by a strongly pro-Arab gov- utilizing many of their forces to attack US
ernment. The constant fighting between forces and the Shiite people and groups.
rebel .groups and the government military However, despite the Sunnis' big loss in this
was called to a ceasefire in 2003 after an election, the committee plans to offer the
agreement that would share state revenues Sunnis one of the two vice-presidents' jobs,
between these two groups. However, the or even the position as the speaker of the
rebel .groups were not satisfied, and they
accused the government of giving preferen-
Page 5
 the ston broo.

PR ES s
the commrunity news and features paper
I Eitrial Board ITTT We
sub Commandante
Weep for the King of Gonzo
Joe Filippazzo
The middle of the night had ticked past like
Managing Editor some slow moving jungle sloth, the silence and tedium
only broken by the saddening news. Dr. Thompson had
Mike Billings
killed himself Sunday night with two slugs, making the
wall behind him a stained still-life of was-life. It was a
Associate Editor tragic end as this man had molded not only me, but my
Amberly Timperio compatriots and compadres at our rag-tag newsletter in
ways that are seldom put to words. Thanks to him, the
Business Manager arid prose of our grandfathers would not permeate into
David K. Ginn our generation. News was no longer happening, it was a
happening and we were to be immersed, anything short
of that would be taking a step backwards. His mind had
Production Manager
shouted the battle cry for a new generation of authors,
Rob Pearsall
and the world of literature was changed inevitably; an
organic outgrowth of the topsy-turvy era that birthed
News Editor him.
Joan Leong Especially here, in the halls of the Student
Union, his memory rings with a particular resonance.
Features Editor I'd like to elucidate more on the power of 'gonzo jour-
Melanie Donovan nalism' and how revolutionary it was and is, but that
would be like an ant trying to explain to an armadillo
Arts Editor why eating him would be cause for karmic instability.
Meri Wayne
Edi torials
It is impossible and immoral and not remotely coming
to the point. The armadillo needs to eat, and revolution-
aries need to write. It's at times like these I wish I had
a stable of drugs on hand to allow me to write what I
truly want to, without the lies of syntax and illusion of
grammar getting in the way. Biography and reiteration
is the highest form of derision, so I won't tread on that
path any longer. Go out, buy a book by this brilliant
man and fucking read it, maybe it'll affect your life how
its affected others; maybe you'll pass it by like the rav-
ing of some drug-induced madman. Either way, at least
you'll have read something valuable, whether you know
it or not.
Tapping away at this keyboard; trying to meet a
500 word limit for this editorial; it's idiotic. Crawling
from the mouthpiece of a late night call attempting to do
something symbolic and poetic for this man of a million
minds. We'll fail, this endeavor is a failure, so I'm going
to stop typing, and I'm going to ingest some psilocybin
and lie in my bed and do what tripping people do when
lying in bed. Good night.

Photo Editor
They Got Gretzky AND Gay Rights!
Jowy Romano
On February 16th, before the Canadian House of apply the enshrined principles of fairness and equali-
Commons, Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin rose in ty for the protection of a minority. The Prime Minister
Copy Editors support of the Civil Marriage Act (C-38). Not only did himself just four years ago voted to agree with the 'tra-
Matthew Willemain this speech outline his position in support of civil ditional' definition of marriage, in an act not unlike the
Marcel Votlucka same-sex marriages, but it was also a thorough expla- United States' own federal Defense of Marriage Act. His
Nicole Barry nation of how the bill is a faithful interpretation of recent defense of Civil Marriage and equality is a polit-
their Bill of Rights and Charter of Rights and Freedoms. ically courageous statement. The reasoning behind it is
Minister of Archives It was also an even broader defense of minority rights, sound, and a welcome addition to the voices advocating
Tom Clark and the responsibility of governments to ensure reli- for freedom.
gious and personal freedoms. In addressing the con- How does this compare to our own laws and
cerns of opponents of the bill, he outlined three major recognition of rights? While Canada is moving to sup-
Ombudsman port and act upon their ideals of justice, some
lines of reasoning.
Dustin Herlich First, this bill does not undermine religious Americans are ready to undermine our laws already
enacted to protect against discrimination. The city of
Pea-san Army freedom, as some have claimed, but instead guarantees
it. The Canadian Charter states, and the Supreme Court Topeka, Kansas will vote on March 1st whether or not to
James Blonde Mike Nevradakis affirms, that no church official shall have to perform repeal their city ordinances protecting people from los-
Ben Bravmann Jason Ng ceremonies that are not in accordance with their ing their employment or housing for the sole reason of
Philip Camacho Andrew Pernick beliefs. The Civil Marriage A'ct recognizes this right, as their sexual orientationi. In addition, the neasure.
Laura Positano it is about civil marriage, not religious marriage. would bind the city from enacting or enforcing similar
Sarah Cassone
Secondly, some opponents claim this measure laws in the future. Fred Phelps, famous for his
Willy Cibinskas Rachel Eagle Reiter
should pass a national referenda before it is enacted. church's picketing of Matthew Shepard's (and other)
Juliet DiFrenza Ian Rice
The purpose of the Charter and the Bill of Rights, how- funerals and for running www.godhatesfags.com, is
Mike"Bublz"Fabbri Joe Rios responsible for the petition that put this measure on
ever, is to defend the fundamental freedom of the
Vincent Festa Justin Rowe minority against the impulse of the majority. The Civil the ballot. While residents of Topeka often dislike the
Rob Gilheany Joey Safdia Marriage Act is then consistent with these principles, tactics of the Phelps family, it is yet unclear what the
Sam Goldman Natalie Schultz not opposed to them. results of the ballot question-polled during a city pri-
Tara Lynn Groth Tom Senkus Finally, some opponents argue that a new insti- mary-will be.
Jackie Hayes Jorge Sierra tution of "civil unions" should be created to address the The people of Topeka should speak up to keep
Steph Hayes. Keith C. Smith need for some sort of legal recognition for same-sex their anti-discrimination laws in place, otherwise they
Adam Kearney Christine Tanaka- relationships. This is the jurisdiction of individual run the risk of creating a dangerous precedent in this
provinces, however. Furthermore, not only would the country. They will be denying minorities rights estab-
I-he caunr' 1CaLmte Claudia Toloza
inevitable differences in implementation seriously vio- lished in the Constitution, favoring instead arbitrary
Bill Lewis Morgan Wilding
late the ideal of equality, but the very creation of a sep- fervor disguised as morality. While they examine their
Antony Lin Chris Williams
arate institution also undermines the exact equality views, perhaps they will even look to the Prime
John Mascher Brian Wong Minister of Canada and recognize his recent decision
and fairness they seek to affirm.
Jamie Mignone Jessica Worthington Today, most of Canada .already recognizes civil for what it truly is: a step in the right direction.
Ali Nazir Ed Zadorozny Smarriages, and the Civil Marriage Act will properly

The Stony Brook Pressis published fortnightly during the academic year and
rýWanna
I - I -- I I I _- - - 1 9
Know Where You Can Stick Your Opinions?
- - -I
twice during summer session by The Stony Brook Press, a student run non-profit
organization funded by the Student Activity Fee. (Hint: It rhymes with "Stained-Glasshole')
The opinions expressed in letters, articles and viewpoints
do not necessarily reflect those of The Stony Brook Press as a whole.
Advertising policy does not necessarily reflect editorial policy.
For more information on advertising and deadlines call (631)632-6451. sbpress@ic.sunysb.edu
Staff meetings are held Wednesdays at 1:00 pm.
First copy free. For additional copies contact the Business Manager.
The Stony Brook Press or website-it-up big time at
Suites 060 & 061
Student Union
SUNY at Stony Brook
Stony Brook, NY 11794-3200
www.thepress.info
(631)632-6451 Voice
-. ~ ~ ~ (631) 632-4137
~ ~~~~ ' iI-. ~ Fax I .. l - ·· · -·
Page 6
I . I -
Ethe ston brook

PRES6 Le tters

To the editor:

The New York Public Interest Research

Group (NYPIRG) is a non-partisan, not-for-prof-
it research and advocacy group. We are focused
on students' rights, government reform, higher
education and environmental advocacy, among
other issues. For 32 years NYPIRG has main-
tained a strict non-partisan agenda. That is why
we were distressed to read that, "[with help from
the Stony Brook campus chapter of the New York
Public Interest Research Group (NYPIRG), the
College Democrats have successfully made Stony
Brook University a political force in Suffolk
County." ("The College Democrats" by Joe
Filippazzo, Stony Brook Press February 9,
2005).
NYPIRG wishes to make clear that during Thank you,
the fall general election we worked with many
groups, individuals and the administration here Eric Bruzaitis
at Stony Brook University. Our coalition includ- Project Coordinator
ed but was not limited to: Undergraduate NYPIRG at Stony Brook
Student Government; The Dean of Students

Page7
 Subtlety --at Stony Br .ok
- --
t
On Wednesday, February 18 h, I
in the cold stood outside the University
Caf6, among a crowd of eager students
and visitors, waiting in earnest when
the doors would open, Tonight was the
night I had heard about all semester;
the night that Alix Olson would per-
form. I had heard about her several
times last year, and almost non-stop as
the semester reached mid-February.
Extremely popular among the feminist
and lesbian community, Alix Olson is a
folk poet that receives rave reviews for
her vibrantly powerful form of slam
poetry. But I had yet to see or hear her
perform, and as I waited, I thought to
myself, "what introduction would be
better than in person?"
When the sound check was over,
we were allowed entry, and my friends
and I quickly took over a large seating
area near the stage, and continued chat-
ting. The initial introductions were
given by Saima\Anjan from the Students
For Choice, and an open mic ensued,
where I had the pleasure of hearing
poetry from Eric Anderson and Rachel
Kalish my WST 247 Professor and TA,
respectively. We were all in for a treat
when a local openly gay comedian took
the stage. There were a handful of stu-
dents who found her jokes about looking
like a fifteen-year old boy more than
just amusing, it was their life story too!
Once Christine Tanaka from the Stony
Brook Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Transgender Alliance took the stage to
introduce Alix Olson, I found myself
nervous and excited. I couldn't possi-
bly have realized what would happen
next.
When Alix took the stage, the
crowd exploded with applause. In
By Tom Clark
between frantic photos, I watched Alix
perform her spoken-word act, where
she tells stories from her life, or what-
ever is in the news, as the backdrop for
her poems. When she performs her
poetry, it is a sight to behold. Alix
manages to capture the various facets
and struggles that women have faced
and still face in society today. Whether
it be about the courageous women in the
past that have struggled so hard to fur-
ther women's rights, or how she has to
prove herself during the International
Poetry Festival in Rotterdam,
Netherlands (where she was one of two
people chosen to represent America),
Alix manages to encapsulate the entire-
ty of the feminist movement in a beau-
tifully moving ballad of fury and rage.
Seeing her perform is like watching ten
billion women over thousands of years
rise up against the hegemony of the
male patriarchy, no longer allowing
their voices to be silenced. She is fem-
inism incarnate.
Afterwards, Alix was kind
enough to take photos and give auto-
graphs, and I left with such a surge-of
adrenaline that my hands shook for an
hour afterwards. I came in knowing that
I would be in for a treat, but I never
could have guessed that I'd leave over-
flowing with such raw emotion, and an
eagerness to put an end to the belliger-
ent male chauvinism that pervades
every facet of American society.
Alix Olson is world-reknowned
for her fiery brand of slam poetry. She
has been featured in numerous televi-
sion, radio, and print interviews, and
has headlined HBO's Def Poetry.
For more information, visit
http://www.subtlesister.com/.

A Letter About Alix Ol ;on

I am a virgin. Or I was a virgin, to Alix
Olson's poetry, poetry that bathes in brilliance
and feminism, until last Tuesday night, when
she performed at the University Cafe on cam-
pus. I was given a flyer by a classmate promot-
ing V-day, a global movement trying to stop
violence against women and girls. I read that a
"folk.poet" named Alix Olson was going to per-
form with others who had an opportunity to
express their art, music and poetry. I followed
a Hansel and Gretel-like trail, with pieces of
paper taped to the ground instead of bread-
crumbs, that had "Alix Olson" and arrows
printed on them. They directed me through
empty ballrooms and to the entrance of the
University Cafe. I accidentally let the door
slam while a comedian was making a joke about
her mother and I found an empty space on the
floor.
I was instantly mesmerized when Alix
Olson stepped on stage. She introduced her-
self and mildly attacked the local news radio
and random Republican drivers. She told us a
story about how she tried to reach for her inner
"New Yorker" and give someone the finger for
cutting her off, but she realized she had mit-
tens on. I think that is a metaphor for what
kind of artist she is. She has all these strug-
gles with the world: women's rights, stereo-
types, pro-choice, gay marriage, capitalism
within a democracy, and she expresses these
issues with such passionate rhythm and poetic
beauty. She attacks the media, political admin-
istration and, corporations with a language you
would not hear on commercial radio. But when
she expresses her thoughts with emotional out-
rage it originates from a pure, honest place.
You can understand why she is wearing the mit-
tens, why she is, fighting this fight. Her mit-
tens are, maybe, a clever way of saying she
wears her "heart on her sleeve." Her words are
like daggers that cut though the commonality of
conventional poetry and everyday life. She is
a missionary, an activist and a poet. She
explained how Catholic schools breed atheists,
or turn children off from religion. She intro-
duced every poem with references from her
past (tours, family and current news). She
breaks the monotony of fifty-percent-off sales,
censorship, corporate holidays, statistics and
government funded beauty pageants.
After the second poem, I wondered
where the "folk" element was, because she did
not reach for the acoustic guitars that were
against the wall behind her. But she found her
own rhythm and cadence within her words. She
used her breath to intensify a statement and she,
enunciated, certain words so articulately. She
rioved on stage as if she was personifying her
poems. Her hips would swagger and jolt. Her
head would swing from left to right. I was hyp-
notized by her movements and prose. Animated
and lyrical, she illustrated political and emo-
tional landscapes and how they intertwine.
By Bruce Russo, Jr.
Her thoughts were on the verge of genius.
Instead of supporting gay marriage, she sug-
gested we protest against divorce. We should
sanctify the act of marriage and prohibit cou-
ples from separating. One of her poems, titled
"America's on Sale," was epic. She spoke into
the microphone as if she was making an
announcement in a Super Wal-Mart, talking to
all the "cell-phone masses and plastic-surgery
suburbanites."
Despite my hypocrisy when I work for a
greedy corporation that Alix Olson despises
(United States Postal Service), and I even con-
sume beverages almost daily from a universally
known coffee chain (Starbucks) that Alix Olson
beautifully attacks in such a poetic manner, I
understand the fight she is fighting. I realize
that American society is turning into an igno-
rant, unintelligible mass of caffeine-soaked
zombies. We need more artists like Alix Olson
that can educate the world about what really is
going on behind their television sets and biased
newspaper articles. I think she was right when
she told us we couldn't move to Canada, because
we need to stay here to defeat the close-minded
opposition. We need to take back our educa-
tional system and politics. We need to find the
democracy we were promised.
Sincerely yours,
Bruce Russo Jr.
(a disgruntled postal worker)

Page 8
 _ L
Slain Nun Mo umed By Many;
Messaige May ByBeMichaelLost
Dorothy Stang dedicated her life to the
political liberation of the poor and indigenous
peoples of the Amazon forest. She labored tire-
lessly to preserve their way of life, while wag-
ing an eternal war against the business interests
threatening the crucial rain forest that housed
them. Many timi-es in her years of work her life
was threatened, both for the obstacle to corpo-
rate greed she represented as well as the hope
she tried to inspire in the people. Regardless of
this fact, she pushed forward with her work as
only those with steadfast purpose and a preter-
natural resolve can.
Having lived in Brazil for 37 years
before being murdered it is sufficient to say
that Sister Dorothy had an intimate and person-
al connection with these people. Becoming a
Brazi7Qlian c'itizein he P Pe evIn_
tually came to reside in one
of the small rustic villages
that dotted the Amazon
Basin. In a recent inter-
view, she remarked that it
was not until recently her
home had gained the mod-
ern dalliance of electrici-
ty. Through this comment
she was attempting to high-
light the very real condi--
tions these millions of peo-
ple live in. However more
importantly, she high-
li rht-te t.he ommlnnl
\ ntn
spiritual link the people had with the land and
advocated for an extension of property rights to
them. In essence, the government and govern-
ments were not providing these people with any
of the benefits of being citizens of the nation of
Brazil, so why should bureaucrats feel that they
could lay claim to the property on which these
people lived.
In recent weeks, threats on the nun's life
had grown in intensity, however Sister Dorothy
remained candid'about the entire situation. In
an interview with a popular local newspaper,
she had remarked, "no one would dare kill an
old lady like me." Unfortunately, for her, as
well as the people she served, these killers were
restrained by no such morals. Witnesses
reported that when confronted by her eventual.
killers, she stated that they had weapons and
she had none but those of her lord, she proceed-
ed to then read verses from her Bible. It was at
this time, onlookers claimed that the gunman
__
Long Island
Prazak
Man Accused
brutally gunned her down, shooting her 4 times
in the head.
With that biographical moment out of the
way, I feel it would be a disservice to this
woman's memory to speak about her, without
acknowledging the issues she died for. It's
stressed that these people are being systemati-
cally eliminated, nothing short of genocide is
taking place in our world, and few bat an eye. A
scene in the recent film Hotel Rwanda comes to
mind and fairly sums up the emotive impact
tragedies like this have. A CNN cameraman,
speaking to the film protagonist, says in regards
to the slaughter of the local Tutsi population:
"People will see this footage and say 'oh my God,
that's terrible,' and then go back to eating their
dinners."
It io
, IA0sIL 011l
Lritrr thkt
roh
ItitLL
world, it takes the death of a
Western nun to highlight a
tragedy that happens regu-
larly. Nearly all people
either involved with Sister
Dorothy's charity work, or
with knowledge of the area,
stressed that murders such
as this are not rare, nor sub-
tler in their brutality.
People are eliminated daily
in order to clear the path for
the brutal juggernaut of
industry and "progress." It
h;i rhl i rhtsQ thP
world's arrogance in viewing the value of the
lives of individuals. Our media, typically, fol-
lows suit, caters to this negative, and oft times
superficial analysis of the situation.
The tragedy here is not that a nun died
who dedicated her life to the service of the poor
and dispossessed. This is sad, and albeit dis-
turbing news, no sane person would argue this
point, the tragedy lies in the fact that murders
no less heartless and cold occur daily, but the
world didn't take notice until one of 'their own'
was executed. Moments like this show that we, as
an "advanced" civilization, have a long way to go
in terms of valuing humanity as a whole, and
savoring the ethnic diversity we are privileged
to have. When these people, possessed of nearly
nothing are able to love their culture so much,
they are willing to stand against the insur-
mountable; we should be dumbstruck with awe.
We should pull our noses up out of the pages of
the Post and witness what true bravery is.
of Robberies
and Murders
By Joe Rios
Back on Feb. 3rd Connecticut Police
identified a man they thought was responsible
for a series of robberies in jewelry stores
across New York and Connecticut. The name of
the man was Christopher DiMeo, a resident of
Glen Head, Long Island. DiMeo was tied to a
number of robberies, including the most recent
in Fairfield Connecticut, where a couple that
i; t th
Llt lMa
N O
owned a jewelry shop was murdered during a
robbery.
Just one short day later, the police had
DiMeo in custody; he was arrested at a hotel in
Atlantic City after some discussions with a
hostage negotiator. No weapons were found in
the room, but the police did find thousands of
dollars worth of stolen items from his grand-
parent's home, as well as some jewelry.
W• t- rn
even weirder. Apparently, DiMeo was robbing
jewelry stores in order, to support his heroin
habit. Furthermore, his own mother, Maryann
Taylor-Casey drove, a getaway car during a
December robbery. DiMeo's mother was not the
only loved one involved in his crime spree.
According to prosecutors, 23 year old Nicole
Pearce, who also uses heroin, was arrested in
Atlantic City when attempting to pay DiMeo's
hotel bill shortly before he was arrested.
Casey's lawyer, Michael Soshnick stated during
a court appearance, "My client is the victim of
the evil actions of Chris DiMeo," believing that
he forced her to do heroin and commit the rob-
beries.
Nassau County prosecutor Robert
Biancavilla seemed hardy impressed by the
defense, commenting, "It's amazing the stuff he
can spin. He wants to paint her as a victim."
Presently, DiMeo, his mother, and girlfriend
are all behind bars in different facilities.
Old friends and childhood classmates
of DiMeo were shocked to find out that he had
committed the robberies and murders.
Opinions are mixed about DiMeo. Guido
Penafiel of Glen Cove noted, "As far as I knew
he was a short little chubby kid with freckles.
Even if he was a little bit of a troublemaker, I
never thought he'd do anything like this."
Other friends, like Abi Zied, commented that
there were signs of problems when he was
younger. "I know around the class he was con-
sidered tough for his size. You were always
hearing that Chris DiMeo got into another
fight."
Page 9
 __ _I__ __

The CORE Story

A Kudos to The Press
The Press was "extremel y proud"
when campus groups worked to gether in
support of the Club and Organiz ation Bill
of Rights in Spring 2004, acc(ording to
their website. So it is extremely Sodd that
The Press' February
9, 2005 issue alleges a
"conspiracy" some-
where in the CORE
laws, laws intended to
allow the funding of
religious entities,
since their members
pay the $165 per year
Student Activity Fee
(SAF) just like non-
religious undergradu-
ates. Various unsup-
ported and/or uncor-
llu tALi e
I U b-i.
oUI a LU a I e L1U 11
from certain highly questionabl e sources
were also made about supporte rs of the
CORE laws. Since the Executive Editor of
The Press voted in favor of the C(ORE laws,
if there is a conspiracy, one mi ght guess
that The Pressis part of it. If so, then this
would be the second time this yezar that the
SB Press ran an expose on itself. A kudos
goes to The Press.
Who is Angry?
Is networking and o rganizing
allowed only for groups with, allegedly,
many "leftist" members, such ais The SB
Press, NYPIRG, SBU-TV, WUSB , Students
for Choice, Social Justice Alliancce and the
University Democrats? Is lobt )ying and
organizing disallowed for stud(ents from
the Baptist Campus Ministiries, the
Catholic Campus Ministries, Ch abad, Chi
Alpha Christian Fellowship, thee Chinese
Christian Fellowship, Hillel, th ie Korean
Christian Fellowship, :Life T alks, the
Muslim Students Association and the
Protestant Campus Ministries? In what
light does the campus left view observant
Christians, Hindus, Jews, Muslit ns, Sikhs,
Wiccans and theists in general? Some, but
by no means all, of the campus "left" are
angry that religious clubs and organiza-
tions can now get funding. The:y are very
angry. They are so royally mad that they
may be applying a double standaird.
More than Money
Money is not the sole reas on certain
members of the campus "left" arme unhappy
with recent revisions to the CIhancellors
Guidelines. Granted, there are now more
By Gregory Lubicich
clubs to fund, and thus potentially less for
previously funded groups; however, that
alone would not be enough for the campus
"left" to become irrational, since day to
day politics typically involves distribu-
tional issues. There is an ideological bat-
tle going on here. For
example, one member
of the University
Democrats, in
response to the pro-
posed funding of reli-
gious organizations
allegedly quipped, "In
this country we have
something called 'sep-
aration of church and
state'" and "You've
heard of separation of
church and state,
htrckaum- t '"?ir rO "f%
again, the issues at work here involve far
more than money.
Legitimacy
Social and political legitimacy is
garnered through social and political
linkage. Thus, for the same reasons that
the gay community seeks to legitimize
homosexuality through government sanc-
tioned marriage, certain elements of the
campus "'left"seek to delegitimize religion
through denying religious groups access to
student government funds. This is true
despite the fact that religious students
,pay the same $165 per year Student
Activity Fee as non-religious students.
Like it or not, a belief, or disbelief, in a
deity, can no longer be used to deny fund-
ing to any club or organization at any state
college in New York. Similarly, a political
belief, or lack thereof, can no longer be
used to deny Student Activity Fee dollars
to any club or organization at any state
college in New York.
What's the Catch?
A group of secular humanists at the
highest levels of University
Administration and sycophantic tools
within the student body will continue to
work against the best interests of the stu-
dents and the University in this matter.
For example, while secularists can no
longer discriminate against theists simply
based on belief, and vice versa, the option
to apply for a budget is different from get-
ting one. Likewise, getting a budget is
quite different from receiving a check for
an event. Quite some time ago, the author

Are you an http:/ /Alleged.Leftist?

Come to, supposedly, The Stony Brook Pressi.
According to "rumors,' meetings are purported tobe at l:00pm,
or thereabouts, on, what sources say, are Wednesdays in, as I
have been told, the Union 2 in what unconfirmed reports say is
Room 060, which is located in, some imply, the so-called
http://union.basement.

1: Which can only be described as an "alleged leftist jamboree"

2:The act of uniting or the state of being united

of this article informed one of the University
President's "right hand men" in a private con-
versation that the University was sitting on top
of a legal and public relations nightmare, since
the student government did not fund religious
or political organizations in conformance with
US Supreme Court decisions with which this
administrator was well familiar.
Did high level administrators exercise
due diligence in the representation of the
University's financial and institutional inter-
ests by working to change the situation in a
timely manner? In this author's opinion they
did not. Arguably, there may have even been
negative elements within the University
Administration, and a few of their corrupt
cronies in student government, working against
the best interests_ of the students and the
University in this matter. Nevertheless,
despite the connivance of certain administra-
The CORE Sry
tors, their two faced bedfellows of convenience
and servile tools within the student body, jus-
tice and fiscal sanity have prevailed, at least so
far.
What's In It For You?
Whether one is a partisan or an observer
in these matters, or even if one was previously
or is currently disinterested, there are some
lessons here. Learning to be politically effec-
ontinu ed...
By Gregory Lubicich
tive means more than getting a fair-share fund-
ing for one's club or organization. It means
more than being able to maintain an effective
and clean government, free of some unscrupu-
lous administrator's undue and potentially cor-
rupting influence. To his credit, Press editor
emeritus, Sam Goldman, in his March 17, 2004
article, pointed out that "Any administrator
having that much power over any student gov-
ernment only serves to de-legitimize, cheapen,
and generally make a mockery of it." It means
more than refusing to allow club events to be
blockaded by graft maximizing SAC and Student
Union and Activities rules. It means more than
refusing to let one's club budget be frozen arbi-
trarily. It means more than making the social
and political legitimacy of a particular set of
clubs and organizations explicit. It means that
for the rest of one's life one will know how to
fight injustice of any kind.

Gay Marriage Poliics in1New York City

By Jorge Sierra
On Saturday, February 5, New York strated his independence from them. He even coalition of gay rights groups organized a
City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, in a double- promised to lobby the state legislature to protest with 80 members at the site where
edged response to a court ruling Friday, /change the marriage law if the Court of the mayor formally announced his re-elec-
announc,ed that he supports recognizing Appeals invalidates the present ruling. To tion campaign. Predictably, none of the
same-sex marriage-and that be fair, the mayor had no mayor's potential Republican or Democratic
he will appeal the decision choice but to find some opponents for this year's election supported
ordering the city to grant way to take a moderate his position, although the Democrats appar-
licenses to same-sex cou- position here. Opposing ently didn't oppose it when Attorney General
ples. Have I lost you yet? same-sex marriage would Eliot Spitzer said much the same thing last
By chance, Bloomberg had a further damage his already year.
prior commitment to appear unsuccessful efforts to Some of the activists at the most
before two gay rights organ- cultivate a good relation- recent event attacked the mayor's overall
izations Saturday evening, ship with the city's gay record on gay rights, citing vetoes of pro-gay
so attendees had an easy community. Supporting City Counsel bills and his participation in
chance to hold his feet to the the ruling would leave the annual St. Patrick's Day parade, which
fire if he made a decision to Bloomberg open to the risk annually excludes a gay delegation. Yet
appeal or waffled on them. of being overturned and Bloomberg also marches in gay pride
Instead, he muffled their looking like an idiot. It parades, signed a law authorizing the city to
outrage by coming out for might also cause respect extend the city's civil union provisions to
the first time in favor of gay for him to plummet, as a recognize same-sex marriages allowed in
marriage and claiming that plurality of New York City other states, and we have his most recent
if he didn't appeal the deci- residents-forty seven per-. statements supporting gay marriage as a pol-
sion, it would lead to cent according to a March icy.
"chaos" in the city. His rea- 2004 Daily News poll- In actuality, there is nothing ambigu-
soning, according to oppose legalizing gay mar- ous about the mayor's gay rights record; he's
Gay365.com: "What you do riage. Besides, most peo- simply a by-the-book law and order guy first
not want to have is a repeti- ple have their own pet and an ally to the gay rights-agenda second.
tion of California, when agendas that they think are Gay City News reported last year that he
vetoed the anti-harassment Dignity for all
were mislia
I -n+ kI
many people for a month
C
inIto thin 1ing
lKis
much more important.
h' ^
i ere are some peopic
l
Schools Act because he believed it violated
they could get the union who are unhappy with the state law and overruled the Schools
they so much wanted" before a higher court mayor's split decision. Gay rights organiza- Chancellor's authority, but that he personal-
invalidated the same-sex marriage licenses tions are split between criticism and grudg- ly supported the Dignity for All Students
issued in San Francisco. ing support of the mayor's position. When Act written by the State Assembly. He
That was very shrewd of him, yes? the mayor announced his decision to his two defended his veto of the Equal Benefits law,
Mavor Bloomber2e ave the av community audiences. some neonle heckled and booed which reauired city contractors to orovide

Since the fall, the big thing on campus
has been The Facebook.' If you've had your head
under a rock on Mars, The Facebookis an online
directory of college students. The concept is
very similar to the non-scholarly MySpace, and
the members are all college students or gradu-
ates, allowing you to find people at Stony Brook
with similar interests and classes. The
Facebook features over 200 colleges, covering
everywhere from Adelphi to Yale. At Stony
Brook there are literally thousands of students
who are signed up for The Facebook, and the
numbers are growing each day.
While The Facebook in itself is very
impressive, perhaps one of the most impressive
things is the amount of friends you can accumu-
late, and Steve Hofstetter is a prime example of
the power of information. Steve is a comedian,
whose primary audience is...you guessed it, col-
lege students. On Christmas Eve, Steve decided
that he would shoot for 10,000 friends on The
Facebook. It's now February, and Steve's friend
count has soared past 70,000!
Aside from his Facebook quest, Steve
also is the host of "4 Quotas" on Sirius Satellite
Radio. His newest book "Student Body Shots:
Another Round" just came out. He is also the
head writer from collegehumor.com as well as a
writer for Maxim and Stuffmagazine. When he's
not doing all that, Steve performs stand up com-
edy. He is the co-founder of Comedy Soapbox,
which is regularly found at the Underground
Lounge in New York City.
A few weeks ago, on a Friday night, my
roommate and I hopped on the LIRR to The City,
and, after a long trek, we finally arrived at the
Underground Lounge, which is uptown on 125th
and 8th, for those who were wondering. The cost
of the show was about $10, plus the cost of
drinks.. The show was extremely entertaining,
and the small enclosed atmosphere of The
Underground gives you an intimate connection
with the performers. The evening's entertain-
I - _ .-.
^^
f <»^
1 .^^^^M^^^....
Is
re-eduacaon!
- ·
._ .. p
•.. .: '•
•-S " "...' a ..
.........
I
/
:_
... .- I.' I .·.'
Page 12
The Facebook and Steve Hofstetter
at 103rd and Broad\ 1ay
Joe Rios
ment included Steve, and was headlined by
Christian Finnegan, who has been featured in a
number of things, including Chapelle's Show.
After the show, I met Steve, and since we
had a while before we had to catch our train out
to Stony Brook, we figured we would head down-
town with him on the 1 train. So after arriving at
the 103rd and Broadway train station, we sat
down on a bench waiting for the next train. I
turned to Steve, with whom I had been getting
along real well, and said "Hey Steve, Wanna do
an interview?" Steve was more than willing to
comply.
So I interviewed Steve Hofstetter on the
platform of the 1 train, waiting to go downtown.
Me: So, all introductions aside, let's get
down to business. What inspired you to do com-
edy?
Steve: Unemployment. Ah, seriously, I
come out of school with a great resume. I had
taken a year off from school to work. I was the
head writer for the Yankees' website. I was a
sports writer, and out of school I get an intern-
ship for Sports Illustratedfor Kids, and it does-
n't turn into a job, and suddenly I'm left there.
I tried moving to Boston for a couple months to
be a writer, but I worked the front desk at an
inn. It was the worst experience of my life. So
while I'm making beds and preparing fruit sal-
ads, I'm trying to be this famous writer, and it
was the most surreal thing in the world. My
first book had just come out, and I went and did
my first book signing, and the next day I'm back
at the inn, signing people in. It was then that I
realized what a weird double life I was living
where I was a somebody and a nobody at the
same time. So I quit the job at the inn, and I
moved back to New York, I had nothing else to
do, so I tried stand up comedy.
Me.: And the whole thing just took off?
Steve: Yeah, it took off, and it took off a
lot quicker thaiq it should have. I sit talking to
." , 4.
WNW -:
rirmoo,
I~i~a&c» ^k~fc AOL.. ^^l~l^..............
T ime
_ _.. -. .. . .vim
|PIN
.•
'•l.,w
l 4 l% .. •
............ •'"
-•. ....
::::....
:".-:
.....
. f-
.- .~-• E..
•l . .r .- . . . - .•.
By
these new comedians, and I'll be giving them
advice, and when I ask them how long have they
been doing comedy, and they say "only two or
three years" and I think to myself that the sec-
ond time I ever did comedy was only two years
ago myself. I did a hundred colleges last year,
and they have never even done a college, and I
think it's all a matter not so much of talent, but
a matter of drive. I remember what it was like to
sleep on my father's couch and I never want to
do that again.
At this point we got on the train, and, in
between the announcements for stops, the inter-
view continued.
Me: So what's the deal with you and The
Facebook?
Steve: Uh...in terms of what?
Me: Why go for ten thousand, why go for
a hundred thousand, and why go for all these
friends on The Facebook?
Steve: Well, I was on The Facebook,
because it was Christmas Eve, and-L'miewish,so__
I had nothing to do, and I'm playing around, and
I was like "I've got shows here and there coming
up, and maybe I should email some people and
ask them to come to the shows." And then they
were emailing me back and adding me as
friends, and I'm like "hey, this is interesting,
maybe I can get friends at all the schools I'm
going to be at," and I started getting friends
from schools I may never go to, so I said "Let's
just go for ten thousand" I picked the number
randomly, and I never thought that two weeks
later I'd have ten thousand. So once I got ten
thousand I couldn't stop there. I was going to
pick something like 25 thousand, but then I
thought "let me pick something completely
unobtainable," so I picked 100 thousand, and
here it is a month later, and I'm at 66 thousand.
. . " :
i
1^
j
.......
M
i
. -
•!':. " •
.::• .. •
•,. :..,"
.•:."
--" . .. - - "
.....
 "Those who would exchange essential lib- to stop someone with their own reader from tak- Are we to be treated like animals in a zoo,
erty for a little temporary safety deserve nei- ing a peek at your private information? The to be tagged and monitored 24/7? Are we to be
ther liberty nor safety." State Department argues that the proposed tech- catalogued like boxes of merchandise in a ware-
- Benjamin Franklin nological additions to ID cards will make them house? Are we to be viewed as slaves, to be
harder to forge. That may be true, but it's also numbered and watched over lest we do some-
How would you feel to be treated as an true that such technology can be easily manip- thing to displease our corporate fascist mas-
animal in a zoo? If the proposed federalization ulated and the information can be accessed and ters? Are we to be treated like criminals in a
of driver's licenses, the Real ID Act (HR 418), abused far more easily than some are willing to maximum security prison, instead of free and
passes the Senate, we'll be on the road to further admit. Given the horror stories of identity theft sovereign individuals? These are the horrid,
invasions of our privacy and freedom. that thousands have faced in their lives, it yet unspoken and subtle, implications of the
Doubtless most people will argue that these new would be hasty and downright foolish to put Real ID Act.
regulations will protect us from terrorists and such personal information out there, when there Consider the example of a California
illegal immigrants. The media is pushing the is no guarantee that it will be secure from school that used RFID technology on its stu-
foolish idea that we have nothing to fear; the snooping busybodies and criminals. dents' ID cards-without the knowledge or con-
government, in all its wisdom, can be trusted to The third reason the Real ID Act is dan-- sent of either the students or their parents,
use this information wisely and judiciously. gerous is that it will neither stop illegal immi- Some would argue that this is harmless-why
This is utter nonsense. The Real ID Act is not gration nor stifle terrorism-its stated purpose- shouldn't a school be able to keep track of its
harmless to us, nor will it do anything at all to and it will not stop crime, drug trafficking, students? The problems are threefold: first,
make America safe. Instead, it will make us drunk driving, or thwart fraud as some have there's the problem of hackers and identity
less safe, not more. suggested. Rather, it can provide more opportu- thieves accessing information about students.
nities for innocent people to be taken advantage Also, one could argue that the school can have
A National ID Poses Threats To of and for abuses as mentioned above. The kids wear such ID badges on its property, but
Americans Electronic Frontier Foundation asserts: the kids obviously carry these things with them
all the time-does the school have a right to
The Real ID Act, and the de facto national ID effectively keep tabs on its students while they
card it creates, is dangerous to Americans for are off school property? More importantly, par-
several reasons, not the least of which is mas- ents and students alike were not even informed
sive violations of privacy. of the use of the RFID tags, nor were they asked
First, it gives the federal government to give consent. Keeping tabs on students with-
more power to collect and keep information on out informed consent from either the students
all of us-information that can be abused. The themselves or their parents is simply put,
proposed databases sanctioned by the Real ID unethical.
Act will be shared with Canada and Mexico, and Parents seemed to agree. One couple
there's no reason why, in this age of 'anything asserted, "Forcing our child to be tracked with
goes for the government,' an unscrupulous offi- a RFID device-without our consent or knowl-
cial can't give or sell this information to private edge-is a complete invasion of our privacy."
corporations for their own use, or even terror- Another seethed, "we don't want any child to be
ists-though it's more likely that the former will "Experience with smaller-scale identifi- tracked anywhere. Our children are not pieces
occur. Robert O'Harrow, author of the book No cation systems in the United States and with of inventory."
Place To Hide, warns that companies are setting national identification systems enacted else- SC6dric Laurant, Policy Counsel with the
up private intelligence services that can find or where suggest that at best they relocate crime Electronic Privacy Information Center [EPIC],
maintain information on any person for a fee. and more often cause wholesale violations of points out another potential threat posed by the
He states, "in many ways [they] do what James civil liberties without producing any crime- RFID IDs. "Forcing children to wear badges
Bond and his colleagues would have liked back fighting results, at least nothing comparable to around their necks displaying such sensitive
in the 6Q's movies except they do it faster and the efforts of law enforcement officers available information as their name, picture, grade and
*better in terms of finding links among people, at a fraction of the cost. Proponents have never school exposes them to potential discrimination
establishing patterns, you know, showing ten- commissioned studies about the psychological since the name of their school may disclose
dencies, risk assessment." He warns that high- impacts of national identification systems on their religious beliefs or social class."
ly private and personal information on a per- the populations who are subjected to them." The ACLU, EPIC, and the Electronic
son's background can become available for any- Just as drug laws do not prevent drug Frontier Foundation have joined together to
body who desires to check it out. One's privacy abuse or commerce, and gun control laws fail to challenge the school's use of RFIDs. But this is
would be lost in this system, to those who would thwart gun violence, a niational ID card will not just one school district in California; can simi-
make a profit off exposing your personal life. thwart terrorists or any other criminal that can lar stories be repeated across the country if the
Critics of the Real ID Act warn that government simply find ways to bypass the system. It Real ID Act, with its nationalized ID cards and
officials could hand information about citizens merely creates a false sense of security due to a databases, comes to fruition?
to such private investigation firms to be used as misplaced trust in government. Consider also that the new US passports
these companies see fit. will include RFID chips, which will include a
Such fears are not ungrounded, as this Are We Animals In A Zoo? holder's name, digital photo, and address. Here
hypothetical situation actually has precedent. we see the same issues with identity theft, pri-
According to the Cato Institute, a libertarian At any rate, consider this: the US govern- vacy rights, and abuse of information databases
think tank, until 1989 the Social Security ment can't properly educate our kids; it prom- and technology rearing their ugly heads. US
Administration disclosed Social Security num- ises to keep drugs off the streets yet can't keep regulations stipulate that certain countries
bers to the private sector. Moreover, the reason them out of its prisons; it promises to make us must add biometric information [such as finger-
why Stony Brook students nov use SOLAR ID safe yet can't find Osama bin Laden after sever- prints and DNA information] to their passports
numbers is because public outrage led to an end al years; it promises to bring freedom and in order for their citizens to have the right to
to the former practice of using Social Security democracy to the world yet subverts it here at visit without needing visas. These new pass-
numbers as ID numbers. But there's not much home; it promises to end poverty yet through ports are scheduled to appear in spring of this
to guarantee that in the future, information obscenely high taxes extorts money out of the year.
about citizens-presumably from one of the pro- hands of hard-working Americans who need it And keep in mind that the Real ID Act
posed databases-will never fall into unscrupu- to pay their bills; it promises economic pros- provides that the Department of Homeland
lous hands without our knowledge or consent. perity for all while giving tax breaks and priv- Security can order more kinds of information
Indeed, this situation is entirely possible., ileges specifically to its wealthy cronies;, and added to IDs as it sees fit. What kinds of infor-
The second reason the proposed national joins with drug companies and HMOs to mishan- mation-and how much-could this be? Nobody
ID is dangerous is that including DNA informa- dle medical care to the point where seniors must can say for sure. But do we really want to find
tion or fingerprints or radio tags (RFID tags) on buy drugs from Canada and sick people are tor- out? And at any rate, why should anybody have
ID cards-as the Act proposes-would be a gold tured with sky-high medical expenses (which the right to demand by force what is rightfully
mine for identity thieves. RFID tags transmit are artificially higher than their true market yours? What will keeping track of all of us
information about oneself to a computerized value). So my question is this: why should a achieve? It will not make anybody safer; it will
reader. Anyone with the skills and technology- government such as this be trusted with infor- merely create a false sense of security, while
and motive-could access this information with- mation about who we are, where we live, what we the real criminals and terrorists will still be
out you even knowing it. What's to stop a hack- do, what we have done, who we are, where we are perfectly capable of doing their vile deeds. A
er from accessing a database and taking your at any given point in time, who we associate
information to use as she or he sees fit? What's with; et cetera?
 Peace- and Unease
·
in theMiddle
·- ·
East
S. -. ., . .,
because if the Sunnis' voice is repressed in the
new government, the insurgents will probably
never stop fighting. The violence has increased
since-the elections and the Sunnis are staging
more attacks than ever. On the eve of the
Shiites' most important holiday, 39 people were
killed by Sunni insurgents. There is an
extremely long road ahead for the citizens of
Iraq who just completed their first free elec-
tions in over 50 years. The Shiites did not get
the two thirds majority needed to control the
Assembly and now they have to work side by
side the Kurds and other parties to control the
fate of the 26 million people of Iraq. Finance
Minister Abdul-Mahdi, views this positively,
because he believes Iraq will never maintain
harmony, unless all the different sects of peo-
ple have a voice in their government. However,
some Sunnis, disagree and they believe the elec-
tions will create a "sectarian war." The Shiites'
and Kurds' parties have asked the U.S. troops to
stay longer and help maintain peace while the
committee is still being formed. The Sunnis are
still adamantly opposed to them. Iraq is an
intensely religious nation and it's hard to fore-
see how they will overcome their religious dif-
ferences to be able to work together. The Shiites
and Kurds are more compromising on their
positions, arid are going to lengths to make sure
there is a position for a Sunni candidate to help
draft the new constitution. They are still try-
ing hard to overcome the memories of the tor-
ment and anguish the Sunnis have inflicted on
them alL those years, but they are making an
effort to include the Sunni voice in the new con-
stitution. With such distressing history
between these groups, only time will tell if the
people of Iraq finally get some peace.
The Lebanon and Syrian Tension
For fifteen years Lebanon suffered an
all-out civil war where over 100,000 people
were killed. Then, in 1989, the war officially
ended, and Syrian troops remained behind to
help maintain the peace and dissipate any trou-
bles that may arise. That was sixteen years ago,
and Syrian troops still occupy Lebanon in large
amounts. They stayed under the approval of the
Lebanese government and the Arab league.
However, Lebanon is now relatively stable, with
its people having more freedom than many other
Arab nations, and they want the Syrian troops
out. In 1004, the UN told the Syrian forces to
pull out, but they still remain. The Lebanese
people are fed up with the control and corrup-
tion of their government by top Syrian officials,
who dominate behind the scenes. To put fuel on
the fire, their beloved former Prime Minister
Rafik Hariri was killed on Valentine's Day. Mr.
Lebanon, as he was frequently called, and six-
teen others were killed in a massive bomb attack
in Beirut with over 137 injured. Hours later,
Hariri supporters pointed their fingers at the
Lebanese government and the Syrians. His
funeral on Wednesday turned into a chaotic
scene of anti-Syrian sentiment. Mourners
called for the Syrian forces to leave their coun-
try and for the Lebanese puppet-of-Syria gov-
ernment to resign. Syria denies having any-
thing to do with the assassination. Prime
Minister Hariri had his share of political ene-
mies, because he wanted to oust the Syrians
from control of the government. International
support has poured in and plans to investigate
and bring those responsible to justice are pro-
ceeding. This attack could have disastrous
effects that are just bubbling on the surface.
The civil war which ended sixteen years ago was
Page 14
due largely to the conflict of the Maronite
Christians and Shiite-Sunni Muslims that lived
and governed in Lebanon. These three religious
groups each hold the top three positions in the
government and they have had many conflicts
amongst each other. Mr. Hariri was a Sunni
Muslim and his death could possibly rehash the
bitter violence of the civil war all those years
ago. The Western allies have agreed to put more
pressure on Syria to pull its troops out and let
the Lebanese govern on their own. However,
things just got more complicated when Iran and
Syria announced they have formed an alliance to
handle the diplomatic pressures from the UN,
the US and Israel. What happens next? There is
a major call for reform in the Lebanese govern-
ment, and as for its sketchy relationship with
Syria, we will have to wait and see.
Eyes on Iran
The United States has been sending
unmanned spy drones over Iran's airspace to
spy on Iran's nuclear and military facilities.
The United States is suspicious of Iran's nuclear
developments, but Iranian officials reiterate
that their nuclear production is strictly for
civilian energy. President Mohammad Khatami
refuses to succumb to the pressures of Britain,
France and Germany to permanently stop the
development of uranium. President Bush states
that the US has no intentions (as of right now) to
attack Iranian nuclear facilities, but he is
strongly behind the European nations for their
diplomatic approach to convince Iran to stop
their nuclear programs. On Friday, Russian
President Putin announces his confidence in
Iran's direction of their peaceful nuclear pro-
grams. He does not believe that they are devel-
oping enriched high levels of uranium for an
atomic arsenal. President Putin will continue to
support Iran in the technical and military
fields. As for President Bush, he does not trust
Iran, and wants to see further proof that their
nuclear programs are strictly what they claim
they are. Iran is also still currently involved in
other conflicts with Middle Eastern nations.
They are strongly against any diplomatic
process that might ensure that Israel become
legitimized as a Jewish State in the Middle East.
Iran is also supportive of several Palestinian
militant forces active in southern Lebanon who
ntinued...
By Joan Leong
continuously tries to take control of that region.
With pressures on Syria to pull out of Lebanon,
the two have created a political alliance to with-
stand the weight of the Western allies' demands.
The recent public alliance could hinder the
Palestinian and Israeli peace process. As for
the whole nuclear programs issue, Iran and the
European Union are currently in negotiation
and results will be clear in mid-March.
President Khatami reiterates that Iran has no
intentions of creating nuclear weapons and
vowed to uphold their word of their promises
from November, when Iran signed the Nuclear
Nonproliferation Treaty requiring only peace-
ful uses of the nuclear program.
The Middle East continues to be a region
hounded by instability. With recent events in
the past weeks, the ups and downs of the incon-
sistent Middle East are apparent. Palestine and
Israel's truce is the beginning of future of peace
between rivaling nations, however they contin-
ue to face the opposition of other countries such
as Iran. The Sudan region of Darfur is still in a
horrendous condition with no Western allied
forces lending much of a helping hand. The
Western allies are resolute about trying to
maintain a lasting peace in the Middle East, yet
blatantly ignore the ongoing genocide occurring
in Darfur. Political funds have been handed out
_to recruit troops to create peace, but how is that
ever going to happen when those very troops are
fighting each other? Unless genuine interna-
tional help is given, by sending troops to that
region, the progress of the ethnic cleansing civil
war is long from over. The Syrian and Lebanese
conflict has the world's attention currently
because of the uncertainty of how the people
will respond in the following weeks. Will the
horrors and near destruction from Lebanon's
civil war sixteen years ago arise again? The
United State's vision of a pro-US Iraq was van-
quished when the religious Shiites won most of
the seats over the US's preferred candidate
Allawi. Now, the United States is seemingly just
going to let the divided religious groups in the
Assembly battle it out amongst themselves.. The
Sunni-led terrorist attacks are still occurring
heavily. As for Iran, tensions are slowly
mounting between the European Union and the
United States. Iranian troops have been ordered
to gun down any suspicious aircraft flying over
their nuclear facilities. It is still early and the
status of Iran's nuclear programs are uncertain,
although that nation is adamant on keeping
them. Iran is also now linked to Syria and it
will hinder the autonomy the Lebanese are try-
ing to get from the Syrians. Iran has been
labeled as a threat in President Bush's Axis of
Evil speech. While the Middle East is attempt-
ing peace, its efforts are still marginal in com-
parison to the tremendous unease and volatility
that still lie ahead. Several leaders of the Arab
world are continuously meeting to discuss how
to obtain a lasting peace among the Muslim and
Middle Eastern World. Will the continued
diplomatic efforts from Western nations be
effective? Will the Middle East ever see tran-
quility despite the hostile religious differences
embedded among its citizens for as long as any
of them can remember? With all the cata-
strophic disasters and people dying around the
world, I truly hope for these disparate religious
groups to find a common ground and maintain a
lasting harmony. I wish for the end of the need-
less intentional murders of human beings by
other human beings.
"The direct use of force is such a poor solution
to any problem; it is generally employed only
by small children and large nations."
- David Friedman
 Gay Mariage
Politics
Continued...
equal marriage benefits to same-sex and het-
erosexual couples, by claiming that this law
was also illegal and would force businesses
that objected to same-sex partnerships (for
example, religious organizations) not to do
business with the city. Now, you can agree,
disagree, or be thoroughly confused by the
legality argument, but to me it seems shrill
and intolerant to call someone who refuses to
put activism above the law an anti-gay hyp-
ocrite.
I'm not letting the mayor off complete-
ly. Being on speaking terms with gay rights
organizations is not enough to call oneself a
friend to the gay community. Even if he does-
n't agree with them on everything, the obliga-
tion to find some common ground and act on it
falls to him as well, because homophobia does
exist in the city. Our schools, our jobs, our
streets are not safe places for gay persons, and
His Royal Bureaucratic Highness surely can
throw a monkey wrench somewhere into the
system to make the city a safer place. Mayor
Bloomberg isn't the type to run around rally-
ing for racial justice or reproductive choice,
for example, yet he has promoted both by
pushing for accountability in the city's public
schools and mandating that medical schools
provide classes on performing abortions. As
far as I can tell, the mayor has never done a
similar campaign against homophobic harass-
ment, either by acting within the system or
lobbying the state legislature. I think I've
changed my mind. Mayor Bloomberg is an
opportunistic anti-gay hypocrite who doesn't
care about the real people.
But all is well with the world, because
now he's going to lobby for same-sex marriage.
At least, that's what I'm supposed to say. Well,
I'm not falling in line. Why is it marriage, and
not violence, harassment, or simple homopho-
bia or ignorance that gets all the attention
anyway? I could never understand that. Why
is it among all the issues we could be having a
national debate about, it just so happens we're
fighting over the one status quo that is the
least repressive, the most supported among the
general public, and requires the most radical
reform to eliminate? Isn't that a waste of ener-
gy? Why have the powers that be decided to
alienate the greatest number of honest people
with their choice of battles? There are many
right-of-center Americans who find anti-gay
harassment appalling. Why do I suspect that
even if Mayor Bloomberg pledges tomorrow to
eliminate homophobic violence (which he
won't), if he does another anti-gay marriage
thing he will become more ostracized, not less?
We have a very bad situation here. Most
elected officials, like most people, are clueless
about gay issues (the same also holds true for
racial minority issues, working class issues,
etc.). Those few people who want to do things
right are ignored, attacked, or fed misinforma-
tion by the radicals, while those who don't care
but are willing to get elected mimic whatever
irrational agendas the activists preach. And
meanwhile, the people who are most vulnerable
remain silenced and victimized. I have just one
more question: who is on their side?
Attorney GeneralGones
and the Use of Abuse
With the start of George W. Bush's sec-
ond term, came the changing of many adminis-
trative positions. One of the more scary and
alarming new recruits is the newly elected
successor to Attorney General John D.
Ashcroft, even though nobody is as terrifying
and startling as Ashcroft singing "Let the
Eagle Soar." Alberto R. Gonzales began his
career in the Texas Supreme Court (appointed,
not surprisingly by our very own prez, then
governor, George Bush), most likely ordering
kegs and coke for their weekly hoedowns at the
ranch. He also served as Texas's secretary of
eatn bel\fre- bein m
niamedr
White House counsel in
January of 2001. Senate
Democrats are most skep-
tical of Gonzales's
involvement in the pris-
oner abuses at Abu
Ghraib and Guantanamo
Bay. Granted, Gonzales is
making history by
becoming the first
Hispanic Attorney
General in U.S. history,
he is still making it even
more clear to me, and
hopetully many more of
you, that the administration is choosing offi-
cials based on who kisses more ass and is least
likely able to maintain an independent, or dif-
fering opinion. As Dan Eggen, of the
Washington Post stated, Bush selected his "top
lawyer and longtime friend to guide the war on
terrorism and lead the federal government's
largest law enforcement agency."
A memo written in January 2002, stat-
ed that the Bush Administration should be
cautious of allowing negative prisoner treat-
ment, which could be deemed "war crimes,"
unless they first agreed with the Justice
Department attorneys who have decided, con-
veniently enough, that the Geneva Conventions
do not apply to Al Qaeda and Taliban captives
being held at Guantanamo Bay. Gonzales later
claimed that he felt complaints about the memo
were taken out of context. However, the State
Department requested that the President not
follow the advice of the Justice Department.
This is the point at which Georgie's loyal
friend Alberto decided to send him a nice lit-
tle memo reassuring him that the Justice
Department's assessment is valid, therefore
basically stating that it's OK to use torture and
not follow any human rights rules because we
have made some exceptions. Critics say that
By Tiffany Russo
the general riessage of this memo and the poli-
cies on prisoner treatment that Gonzales has
helped to draft "created the atmosphere"
which led to the abuses at Abu Ghraib.
In the memo, Gonzales argues that
Bush's beloved war on terror makes the Geneva
Conventions "obsolete" and "renders quaint
some of its provisions." In August of 2002,
another memo from the Justice Department's
Office of Legal Advising made implications
that the torturing of Al Qaeda detainees abroad
"may be justified" and that international laws
regarding such abuses could be unconstitu-
tional whetn lied tn
ann JL%.,.%...
"..
I. VVA1 WII -.,• . LM
interrogation methods..
As soon as this memo
became public, our fick-
le friend Mr. Gonzales
claimed that the memo
was irrelevant, unneces-
sary, and overbroad.
Gonzales's faith in the
Justice Department
lawyers means that he
also supports their
claims that physical
abuse of prisoners was
not torture unless it was
"- - -_ __i 1_:L
oi an intensity aKin
to...serious physical injury, such as death or
organ failure." Also noting that mental abuse
is torture only if it causes "lasting psycholog-
ical harm." Doesn't any and all mental abuse
cause "lasting psychological harm"? I .don't
know, maybe I'm wrong, but this seems to be
consistent with the Administration's wordplay
and mind games, of which no one should ever
have to get used to. According to The Nation,
the Justice Department has recently slipped
some more clever, appeasing statements
regarding their beliefs that the international'
and legal laws regarding prisoners fully pro-
motes fair and humane treatment to all, even
those captured during the "war on terror." Is
it just me or does it seem like the Justice
Department just can't make up its mind? If all
of these laws and regulations are honored, then
how did the Abu Ghraib abuses occur (oh I for-
got it was, those few "bad apples") and what
about all those people at Guantanamo Bay who
are being held without the right to a trial and
attorney (a policy of which Gonzales publicly
defended despite its rejection by the U.S.
Supreme court). Well, in light of our bleak
future of four more years of Bush and his new
accomplice, as Charles Schumer put it, " he's a
better candidate than John Ashcroft."
 _ __

A collection of dispossessed citizens
gathered together recently to protest a per-
ceived inequality existing in their world.
Rights were not being recognized, and the pow-
ers that be seemed to unfairly dole out
allowances to certain classes. This is the stan-
dard setting for injustice, the means by which
revolutions are born. However, this particular
moment is fascinating for the medium through
which it occurred and the manner that it was
implemented.
The individuals involved in this moment
of protest were conjured out of thin air, their
existence debatable and their importance negli-
gible. They stepped forth from the ether of the
Internet and shouted in the voices they were
allowed. The virtual world they hoped to change
was that created in the game, World of Warcraft,
and the lives they hoped to liberate were those
of their characters, freed from the perceived
injustices levied on them by the game's moder-
ators and creators, Blizzard Inc.
A little back story is necessary, espe-
cially for those not acquainted with this game,
as the concept of people living existences in
virtual fantasy worlds, attempting to replicate
the "real" world, is a bit foreign to many. The
game of World of Warcraft is within the Role-
Playing genre and, in particular, the sub-genre
of Massively Multiplayer Online Games. Put
simply, people play a game through a constant-
ly evolving proto-social being refered to as
either their character or avatar. This being
interacts with a fully integrated, and all perme-
ating, virtual world within which, typically, up
to thousands of other "avatars" also exist.
So we have the setting for a virtual social
- -- '
Have you ever noticed how old styles come
back into vogue, decades later? The two most
obvious examples are miniskirts and bellbot-
toms. Fashions originally from the 1960s and
the 1970s were popular in the 1990s. Now, in
2005, people are still looking back in time for
inspiration for what to wear. While the 1960s
still has an influence on fashion (ponchos and
bohemian prints), now the 1940s is where it's
at. Pencil skirts, luxurious fabric, full skirts,
feminine sweaters, even corsets, starred in
Manhattan's Fashion Week. These designs are
beautiful and romantic,
These silhouettes evoke a mood, a tem-
Sr
rJ./LU
m- t flrPtprl
AIJ 1.IIL I'.,11-,l.
in 1 4QOic
LV .U 111. 1 7-'tVN
sic films. Pencil skirts are remi-
niscent of a young Lauren Bacall,
appearing sophisticated and
independent standing alongside
Humphrey Bogart. The full skirts
evoke the mutual vulnerability
and the romance between Ingrid
Bergman and Humphrey Bogart in
Casablanca.
However nostalgic these
fashions are, they are also unat-
tainable for the average college
woman. Yet, if you can not afford
to spend a considerable amount
for such a wardrobe, you have
many options. You could get a
1 .... 1,* J ]r TT 0P-A ".
knock off in H&M
Silicon Gandhi:
CivilDisobedience in the Digital Age
arena. Eventually, as in this world, perceived.
inequalities would possibly crop up. That is
precisely what happened when the character
class of Warrior, in the game, felt that the
game's creators and implementers had violated
their rights of equality. Not on par with the
other classes in the game; they felt the weaken-
ing of their class was premeditated and doled
out unfairly, providing no means by which the
warrior class could compete with others in the
game. In reaction to this, a group of similar
minded individuals decided to stage a protest.
What they did was all create new warrior char-
acters at the same time and ran them into the
same area. They then allowed their numbers to
grow until the server status was either compro-
mised or greatly weakened as reports of the
result of this were mixed.
Many of the masterminds behind this
event had their accounts discontinued, and
many others faced brief account suspensions.
But the question still-remains, what precisely
should one call this strange and unique moment
in Internet history? For instance, can this be
properly called a protest, as those who were
dispossessed were comprised of photons blink-
ing on a screen transmitted through the circuit-
·
yard sales et cetera actually have good finds.
It is also possible that your grandmother
may have outfits lying around from her youth.
As long as it is not filled with holes from moth
bites, her old sweaters can be like new.
Decades-old dresses may need the zipper to be
fixed and buttons may need to be mended, but
other than that, it is likely to be relatively low
maintenance. After a good washing and mend-
ing, that dress will be ready for action!
Even if you can not find anything remote-
ly reminiscent of the 1940s in thrift stores,
yard sales, or grandma's closet, do not give up
hope. The fact is, many fashions from the
rlo
./oIU
L -
1 0s i1nctlinrT
purses and pins, are also trendy.
Crinoline skirts (one of the ways
women of the 1950s achieved that
full skirted look) are a really good
rare find. Evening gowns, mini
dresses, and ethnic-inspired
dresses of the 1960s and 1970s,
can make a unique, hip statement
at a party.
If you are lucky, you could
stumble upon a comfortable pair
of vintage jeans, or a stunning vin-
tage dress at a yard sale for the
same amount you would pay for an
overpriced campus lunch. Or at
least you will find a witty Peanuts
rP
IT 'A I4,. _ +
v%%
TJ Maxx, or pin, costing
By Michael Prazak
ry of a computer? Some have labeled this as an
act of cyber terrorism, which seems nearly
organic in this day and age. However, both seem
a bit extreme when dealing with the world of
video games.
It is fascinating to note that, although
these characters existed purely in concept,
their creators were rational enough to direct
their grievance in a similar manner. They did-
n't, in pure anger and rage, storm the offices of
Blizzard Inc. and slaughter the staff. Instead
they hit them where it hurts, they created a sit-
uation that forced the powers that be to sit up
and notice. Although it inconvenienced many
innocent patrons of the game, the protesters also
have to be credited with taking a logical course
of action, given their few options. Rather than
.being charged with the murders of various pro-
grammers, they simply had their accounts
banned.
It's a little upsetting that, in this world,
people are willing to dedicate themselves to
protests involving the slighting of a gnome war-
rior in the world of Azeroth, but will not bat an
eye to the real horrors occurring in our world.
Perhaps it's only when people are personally
affected that any changes even begin to take
place. But at least this gives us a clue, maybe if
we can connect everyone to the personal and
human aspect that involves us all, we may final-
ly be able to implement change. However, a uni-
versal quality of man existed is one of those
ideas that has been debated by the most intelli-
gent minds the human race has ever had to offer,
and an answer doesn't seem forthcoming. Oh
well. In the meantime, at least my gnome will
have his rights!
Vintage Style
By Laura Positano
sales, but no luck, then try Internet web sites
that sell vintage clothes.
The web site of Screaming Mimi's, which
sells clothes and accessories dating from the
1950s and beyond, sells accessories on their
web site for cheap, reasonable prices.
Remember those slap bracelets you would some-
how convince your mom to buy you? That's
right; they have costume jewelry from the
1980s.
Enjoy your journey into fashion history.
You may find yourself shocked at how an outfit
that has a history can be so soothing. Perhaps
you will start imagining what the original wear-
apcrcir ries l1ike er of that outfit was doing when they wore it, or
what type of person they were. Were they fan-
tasizing that they were Ingrid Bergman or
Lauren Bacall, romancing the suave men of the
cinema of their time? Did they want to inspire
a certain image that could only be attained by
wearing such apparel?
Whatever the original wearer's purpose
for choosing that same outfit, you live in a dif-
ferent period than they did. You can do more
than just look independent. You can be inde-
pendent. Fashion was at times one of the only
ways women could express themselves until the
women's movement of the 1960s through the
1970s. As a result, fashions now considered
vintage once held considerable power. Respect
and acknowledge that by making certain you
IMn+x xTA
r, + take care of such treasures. That means not get-
ting the vintage outfit stained with oil or paint,
twenty- ve cents,

go to the local thrift like this writer did at a yard sale. If grandma
other retailers. You can

store and see if you can find something old but threw out all her fabulous fashions, and you
and other stains that can't be removed. Wear
in decent condition. Sometimes, neighborhood have gone to thrift stores and frequented yard
vintage, and you'll transcend fashion trends.

Page 16
 _ · _I

The Facebook and Steve Hofsteter

our interview was interrupted mid-way
by a begger on the train, once she left the car we
continued onward.
Me: So now you're touring across the
country, and you're going to all these colleges,
and you have to wonder, why the college audi-
ence?
Steve: Basically, the people who find me
funny are the people near my age. Anyone over
30 doesn't really find me funny. I make refer-
ences to things like Saved by the Bell and the
Mario Brothers, things that I grew up with, and
older people don't identify with that. I mean, I
got recognized by two college girls on the train
the other day, and that would never happen with
anyone older. It's an interesting dynamic, and I
definitely do better with the younger crowd.
College student are my favorite because I have
the young sensibility, and, in my acts, I like to
make people think, and people in college are
willing to think.
Me: A lot of your material is based in the
concept of stupidity, and I was wondering if
there was any one particular case of extreme
stupidity?
Steve: Well there's always extreme stu-
pidity. For example, I was driving from Las
Vegas to LA, and I came through a town called
Yermo, and I thought it would be really funny if
you wrote an "m" on the end so it sounds like
"your-mom" and was telling someone the story
and they-just didn't get it. And the stupidity
that exists is the basis of my act. I refer to my
act as "eight drops full" because I'm an opti-
mist, as in "the glass is half full," but the world
is really shitty right now, so I believe that it's
eight drops full, and I believe that you can do
something about it, and that's where my materi-
al comes from, and that's
my outlook on life.
Me: You are doing
really well for yourself,
now, and where do you see
yourself say..five years
from now?
Steve: Well you
have to remember that two
years ago, I wasn't really a
comedian, and now, thanks
to things like Facebook,
people are taking me seri-
ously, and I've got my show
on Sirius, and at the shows
now, people are giving me
the benefit of the doubt.
I'm very happy with where
T've gotten. I'm 25 vears
old; I don't work for anyone but myself. I have
my own apartment in LA, I've got two cars, and
even though they're pieces of crap, and, totaled,
they might add up to a car, but still, two years
ago I would wonder if I could afford twelve dol-
lar boots, so I have to be happy with where I
am...I mean, I can afford a twelve dollar car!
Me: I know you have come very far in two
years, but, in the future, where do you see your-
self? Do you see yourself among the greats like
Dave Chapelle and George Carlin?
Continued...
By Joe Rios
Steve: Well, no one can say they are
going to be among the greats. I can say that
things are building. I am starting to get through
to people, and I'm doing more TV, and satellite
radio is going be be huge! Thank God for
[Howard] Stern for putting us on
the map, and thank God that he
didn't join until after I got my
stock options. Ya know, five
years from now, I think I'll be
doing similar things, only the
venues will be much larger. And
this is my stop right here.
Me.: Well, Steve, thanks
for the good show and the inter-
view
Steve: And I hope you are
able to make out anything we said
on this train with all the noise.
Me: Take care Steve, and I
will keep spreading the word
about you, and more people on
The Facebook will hate me.
Steve: Yeah, I mean, hey, I
hate you already!
Steve Hofstetter is continuing his
Facebook quest even today, so if you would like
to help, search for him on The Facebook and add
him as your friend.
If you want to know more about Steve,
visit www.stevehofstetter.com and for more info
on the Underground Lounge and the Comedy
Soapbox visit www.comedysoapbox.com.

national ID and database system will not and ing. Last semester I participated in a debate argue that it one has "nothing to nhide, tneres
cannot prevent crime or terrorism. That is the about whether there ought to be a national DNA no. reason why one should fear surveillance.
central truth of the matter that power-hungry registry, and I argued on the con side, of course. This argument is absurd. Do you own yourself,
politicians fail to realize. But what I heard from my opponents alarmed or does the state own you? I say: you own your-
.The Patriot Act provides very broad and me; they felt that the ends somehow justified the self, and your right to privacy is an obvious
vague definitions of what terrorism is, and gives, means, and a mandatory, state-sanctioned reg- extension of this principle. It's bad enough the
the government a lot of power to declare citizens istry was acceptable and even necessary-their government is keeping lots of information on
as "enemy combatants." This means that any- supposedly free citizens; now it wants even
body could potentially be targeted for engaging more, and it wants to make it even easier to
in activities that the state doesn't like-antiwar gather and use this information-and for what?
demonstrators have already been targeted, as The Real ID Act's biggest drawback is that it is
well as. law-abiding Arabs and Muslims. The a morally questionable violation of one's right
Real ID Act continues this strategy. Will you be to privacy.
kept safe and secure? No. You will be watched, Yet, some argue that if one has "nothing to
and not by benign eyes. To those in charge, you hide," one should not fear the bill's totalitarian
will be viewed as little more than an animal- provisions. Others argue that people's privacy
your right to privacy does'not exist in their is already being violated as it is; further viola-
eyes. Your right to live your life without the tions are therefore acceptable. They are wrong.
government and its corporate cronies snooping crimes. Their view was this: If we can help peo- Not only that, they have a poor understanding of
on you is laughable to them. Your right to live ple, then we should do it at any and all cost! the core principles under which this, nation was
free is unthinkable to those who view your lib- Never mind that there is little evidence that founded-it is shameful that such legislation is
erty as expendable. such a registry could actually solve more even being seriously considered in the first
crimes. Never mind the massive violations of place.
A Moral Outrage human rights, the amount of needless bureau- What the government is doing with this
And yet people accept this outrage; they cracy -that would be created, and the threat of national ID card scheme is nothing less than
fail to see the threats to their individual rights abuse of the DNA information involved in such fascist. It is symbolic of a culture of surveil-
through this totalitarian scheme. Within a span an enterprise. Never mind that our justice sys- lance akin to Soviet Russia or Nazi Germany or,
of two hundred years, America has transformed tem is based on the principle that one is inno- for that matter, Big Brother's Oceania. If the
from a relatively free country, with minimal cent until duly proven guilty-and that such a Real ID Act passes in Congress, what will the
government intervention in people's private registry ignores that premise. Never mind that repercussions be for ordinary, law abiding, lib-
lives, to'a socialist monster that threatens our my opponents in the debate were--unwittingly- erty-loving Americans? And more crucially:
natural liberty and dignity. Americans have arguing in favor of expanding ,state power to what will come next? We must all shout "No!" to
gone from a hardy, freedom-loving people to a totalitarian proportions, at the expense of their this outrage if we value our lives and freedom
childlike mass that trusts and even worships own liberty and dignity. One girl even had the and dignity. Those who exchange freedom for a
the state. And this is the true tragedy of mod- gall/to say that "Privacy is a privilege." false sense of security deserve neither security
ern America; that infringements on one's pri- Privacy is not a privilege. It is a funda- nor freedom.
vate life are tolerated anrd even defended.
Page 17
0ý11
 Stop All the
World Now
[Special Edition]
Review
By Melanie Donovan
The "signed, sealed and packaged"
singer/songwriter Howie Day re-released his
2003 album Stop All the World Now, in a 2004
special edition package. Why he did this, I am
really not sure. I have listened to this album a
couple of times now, and it still is not sinking
in. It is very bland and ordinary. No song real-
ly stands out on this album, but maybe it is one
of those CDs that really start to sound good on
the fifth, sixth or tenth listen.
Stop All the World Now is not horrible;
it is very relaxing and melodic. The guitar in
most of the songs is quite nice and soothing, but
his vocals and lyrics do not seem like they are
coming from him. It is almost like Day really
does have emotions and talent, but there is a
producer standing behind him, holding him
back. His songs are very impersonal and some-
times dull. Day's music style is a mix between
Dave Mathew's Band, Radiohead and Vanessa
Carlton, which is really hard to imagine, but it's
true. They literally must have combined all of
those artists to make Stop All the World Now.
He uses vocals that are similar to those found on
Radiohead's Pablo Honey, he uses piano style
similar to Vanessa and a folk sound like
Mathew's. When looking for the Howie' Day web-
site, I found that there are many Howie Day fan
sites. He seems to have a strong following, so
maybe his other albums show Howie's real pas-
sion and emotion.
Howie Day is definitely a promising
young artist, who does have potential. I hope to
hear more of his music in the future. His voice
will take him places, once he comes into his own
sound and style. I would recommend to give
Stop All the World Now [Special Edition] a lis-
ten so that you could hear for yourself this tal-
ented artist.
Pageý 18
On the evening of Wednesday, February
the 1 6 th, 2005, Angela Freiberger, a graduate
student of the Master of Fine Arts [MFA] pro-
gram here in Stony Brook, presented her new
work. The location of the performance and art
exhibition was in the Latin American and
Caribbean Studies Center [LACS] gallery, which
is located in the Social and Behavioral Science
building, room N320 [Latin American and
Caribbean Studies is a minor in our campus].
The presentation began with an artistic per-
formance. The artist was completely engulfed
by oversized Japanese lanterns onto which a
movie was projected. She then began to poke and
nierce the
- .- lantern
_- skin
s. - -- - -
while the projection was
playing...she wiggled and
finally emerged. The pierc-
ing and poking of the
lantern skin was imitating
the piercing that goes on
when one is being tattooed.
The video projected was
repeated on a television on
the gallery. The video dis-
played spiral shapes drawn
onto the artist's body that is
meant to reference Robert
Smithson's famous earth-
",,1 Te , r"cC,:,
worK Spirai Jctty.
For the poster part of the exhibit,
Freiberger displayed overlayed art. She took
photographs of marble statues and oil paintings
from the Metropolitan Museum of Art and com-
bined on top photographs of her own tattoos or
of her models' tattoos. The result was a mixing
and molding of different art types to create a
swirl of artistic interpretation. When looking
at one poster [and most were quite big-about 22"
x 28"], it seems like you can visualize many
things from each one. For example, one poster
named "Venus' Snake and Elbow" featured a zip-
per running along two elbows that were close
together and a snake coming out from the top of
the zipper. I interpreted it was a commentary of
FGM [female genital mutilation] because the
elbows looked like female genitalia, which was
I
Skin-Scapes
By Lena Tumasyan
"sewn shut" by the zipper and from which the
"evil snake" emerged. Perhaps the artist did
not mean this, perhaps she did, but that is what
I personally was able to see. Another one I
enjoyed was a large bird tattoo on top of which
two belts were placed. I questioned Freiberger
about this piece, who by the way was very warm
and open, and we agreed-the belts bound it and
the bird was not free to fly.
The exhibit was an unusual one and
therefore deserving commentary, so I inter-
viewed the artist. Freiberger told me that it
took her since September to create the designs.
The motivation was "an irritation of how much
men's work displayed
women, but women did not
display women." In a flyer
she wrote, "The body speaks
to the viewer of the violence
and passion contained with-
in it. I hope the sentiment-s-
of pleasure and pain and of
beauty and the grotesque
are legible from my layered
surfaces."
However one might inter-
pret the images, each one
seems to contain a main
focal point and other sub-
di - nr ,l --, +I A11ll- nf thPm
s• tal y pUolllL.. o-1
. LI ,t
combine to create an enchanting swirling or col-
oration and design. As you view one piece from
the side, a face emerges, from another you can
see the texture of the skin. This is a quick
gallery on campus that is worth viewing. Albeit
the video won't be displaying, because the room
is used as a classroom most of the time, if you
ever get the chance to explore art in the SBS
building, don't pass this location up.
On a final note, Angela Freiberger was
originally from Rio de Janeiro and has been liv-
ing in New. York for approximately 4-5 years.
Art has been in her system since she was 8
years old and she is still finding new ways of
expressing herself today. She was a teacher's
assistant in the Staller Center last semester and
is teaching sculpture there this -semester.
John Legend Get
Lifed Review
By Justin Rowe
John Legend, a new R&B artist, is a
breath of fresh air to an otherwise stale genre.
Aside from artists like Usher and R. Kelly, most
Rhythm and Blues music suffers from the same
tired cliches. After a while, one can tire of
unimaginative lyrics that frequently prelude to
"getting your freak on" and numerous tales of
wild sex.
This album is not your typical R&B
album. With the production power of Grammy
award winning artist Kanye West and others,
Legend (who also produced a few songs and pret-
ty much wrote the entire album) creates music
that is timeless and for the most part tasteful.
The lead single "Ordinary People" is a
great'love song, that actually sounds like a love
song, and not a mass manufactured "love" song
that is passed out on the radio lately. "Number
One," produced by Kanye West, also features
the "College Dropout" backing Legend with a few
hip-hop lyrics. Thankfully the guest appear-
ances by rappers are kept at a minimum (the
other one being none other than Snoop Dogg in "I
Can Change," in which Snoop actually compli-
ments him pretty well).
As for theirest of the album, it starts off
with a high tempo number appropriately titled
"Let's Get Lifted." At the album's midpoint it
starts to slow down, beginning with "Ordinary
People." After this it offers some great slow
songs that you can probably listen with your
significant other.
One treat near the end of the album has
Legend and his own family singing with him in
"It Don't Have to Change." That song, and others
on this album, make it worth the $10-$18 it
costs for this particular CD. Surprisingly,
music lovers everywhere recently made this
album certified gold. Appropriately enough in
due time, John Legend will be a Legend in his
own right very soon.
Note: John Legend will be opening
for Alicia Keys at Radio City Music Hall
April 4/22-23 and at the NJ Pac in
Newark, NJ on 4/24
Hitch Soundtack Revi ew
By Melanie Donovan
For all of you who do not know what
Hitch is, it is a romantic comedy staring Will
Smith and the guy from that show. If you want-
"One two, tell me what you got / Let me slip my
quarters inside your slot to hit the jackpot...
Here comes the brother with glow / A strugglin',
ed a review of the movie, see it yourself, because bubblin' overweight lover hurt prone." How
I will never ever see that movie, no matter how romantic.
many times I see that stupid commercial with Earth, Wind & Fire make two appear-
the guy from that show dancing like an idiot. I ances on this album, along with The O'Jays,
just thought I should clear that up before we Jimmy Cliff and Martha Reeves & the Vandellas.
start with the soundtrack. And finally, this soundtrack has The
The Hitch soundtrack is a compilation of Temptations' song "I Can't Get Next to You,"
new and old songs that are featured in the movie which is definitely the best song on here. So if
(I guess). So let's run through the songs. I you somehow stumble across this album, just
found that a lot of the new singers on this album listen to this song over and over because this
are almost identical to singers that are already song is awesome and so are The Temptations.
out there today. The first song is by a young Seeing as I got a "shout out" in Mike Prazak's
singer named Amerie with a song called "1 last article, he will get his well deserved recog-
Thing." The music in the song is very upbeat nition in this article. I am reviewing the Hitch
and not too bad, but her voice and lyrics are soundtrack because Mike said he would do it,
very similar to other solo African-American but alas, he did not. Although if he did write it,
female artists. I would say she is comparable to I have a feeling it would be called, "Hi Will
Ashanti, but then Ashanti is comparable to Smith, I Will Have Sex With You!" And that
Janet Jackson, so no one is original here. The would pretty much sum up the Hitch sound-
next up-and-coming artist on this CD is John track.
Legend. When I listened to his song I thought he
was trying to sound like Stevie Wonder, and
then I realized it was a Stevie Wonder song,
"Don't You Worry 'Bout a Thing." Meleni Smith
has a song on here called "Happy," and she
sounds exactly like Nelly Furtado. I hate Nelly
Furtado, but I did give Meleni a chance by going
to her website to find out more about her. Her
website was entitled, "the Meleni eXperience."
Do I go around calling my music reviews "the
Melanie eXperience?" No, I.do not; because
these reviews are certainly no eXperience, and
neither was her website.
A DJ by the name of Mark Ronson has a
song on here called "Ooh Wee." I was hesitant to
listen to it because of its name, but then I
noticed it was featuring Ghostface Killah, Nate
Dogg and some other rappers. Then I started
thinking about the 1994 hit "Regulate," by
Warren G and Nate Dogg. So screw the "Ooh
Wee" song, let's hear some tasteful lyrics from
"Regulate". "It was a clear black night/ A clear
white moon / Warren G was on the streets /
Trying to consume." Pure poetry, why don't we
have-lyrics like this in rap music today?
Oh, snap! Heavy D & the Boyz are on this
soundtrack with "Now That We Found Love."
 Lost- The Best Damn Show on TV
When I first watched ABC's Lost I was
captivated. Never before had I seen something so
fantastic, so diverse. I immediately downloaded
all the episodes (well, immediately doesn't real-
ly describe it, considering it took two weeks for
them all to finish) and watched them from the
beginning.
The show is about a plane that crashes on
an island somewhere in the Pacific Ocean, and
about the lives and stories of those who have to
band together to survive. Lost has everything:
drama, action, emotion, comedy; there is some-
thing for everybody in this show.
One of the great things about Lost is the
room the writers have to work with. Out of the
forty-eight survivors the first season deals pri-
marily with fourteen major characters. This
enables the writers to create any type of charac-
ter for the later seasons, and the audience will
accept that they've been there the entire time.
Created by Alias creator J.J. Abrams and
co-created with executive producer Damon
Lindelof, Lost first premiered this past
September and instantly became a phenomenon
among both critics and audiences alike. If you
haven't gotten your ass in gear to watch the show,
then you better start now.
Most likely if you haven't started watch-
ing it's because you don't want to start in the
middle. It is for this reason that I present you
with a complete episode guide, starting from the
first episode and extending to the last episode
that aired. The next episode, In Translation,will
air on Wed. February 23, at 8pm. Get up and get
into it, because if you don't you're missing out
on a lot.
Here's the episode guide for you, eager
reader, complete with my own individual
reviews and ratings:
Episode 1: Pilot [Partl]
After their plane crashes, forty-eight
people are stranded on an island somewhere in
the Pacific. Jack, a spinal surgeon, does his best
to help the wounded as they recover from the
crash. Afterwards Kate, a mysterious young
woman, and Charlie, an ex-rock star, go on a
search for the cockpit.
Review:
The first episode is absolutely amazing.
The action is incredible, and the scenes of the
aftermath are horrifying. We're introduced
slowly to some main characters while the others
stay in the background as extras. Some of the
episodes climax comes off as a bit silly, but it's
easily overlooked with so much else going on.
Rating: ********* [9 out of 10]
Episode 2: Pilot [Part 2]
After the trio returns to the beach camp,
Sayid, and ex-Iraqi soldier, tries to get the
newly-found transceiver working. A young man,
Boone, and his nagging sister Shannon join him,
Charlie, Kate, and the hot-tempered southerner
Sawyer into the mountains to get the transceiver
working. Meanwhile, Michael, an estranged
father who just recently gained custody of his
eight-year old son Walt after Walt's mother
died, tries to please him by finding his pet dog.
Review:
The second part of the pilot is awesome,
stretching out the energy flow from the first part
but not breaking it. The lack of a major action
sequence is made up for with the now-famous
"polar bear scene". Also, the insights into the
characters lets us know where the show is going.
It should be noted that this is the last episode
that isn't centered around any particular char-
acter (which becomes the theme of the show), and
it serves as a smooth segue.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 3: Tabula Rasa
As the life of the U.S. Marshall traveling
on board hangs in the balance, Jack and Sawyer
argue over the "right thing to do". Meanwhile,
Jack and the obese but loveable Hurley discover
Kate's big secret and we find out what happened
to her before she boarded the doomed flight.
Review:
This is the first of the flashback
episodes, and it's done very well. More impor-
tantly though, the format is introduced softly
and inconspicuously. It won't be until you watch
a few episodes that you'll actually catch on to the
structure of the show. Kate's story is a bit weak,
but it's all okay because you have the rest of the
episode to back it up.
Rating: ******* [7 out of 10]
Episode 4: Walkabout
After the camp is attacked by wild boars,
the mysterious Locke leads Michael and Kateon
a hunt for food. Meanwhile Claire, the sweet and
very pregnant Aussie, tries to convince Jack to
read the names of the dead from the flight man-
ifest during a mass funeral ceremony. Jack has
his reservations though, and it turns out Locke
has secrets of his own.
Review:
Wow. Simply... amazing. Just see it.
Rating: ********** [10 out of 10]
By David K. Ginn
Episode 5: White Rabbit
Stressed out by his responsibilities on
the island, Jack begins to follow a mysterious
man through the jungle who may not really be
there. Meanwhile, the survivors are thirsty for
water and it appears that someone has been
keeping a private stash.
Review:
A good episode, one that keeps your
attention the entire time. It's a Jack episode,
and so far Jack's flashbacks have been downbeat
and very noir-like. In other words: really awe-
some, but on a different level. The back story
offsets the pace of the episode wonderfully,
although there are some story-telling elements
that seem a bit clich6.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 6: House of the Rising Sun
After Jin, the non-English speaking
Korean man, attacks Michael, the group holds
him as prisoner until they can figure out what
happened. Meanwhile his repressed wife Sun
looks back on their lives together. Jack tries to
set up an alternate camp in the caves, but not
everyone is eager to join.
Review:
Simply beautiful. The episode itself is
decent, but it's the flashbacks that really cap-
ture your attention. There aren't any cop-outs
here; all the flashbacks are subtitled, the way
they should be. In the end you feel pretty damn
good about things. Very well written, once again.
Rating:******** [ 8 out of 10 ]
Episode 7: The Moth
When the survivors try to make the caves
hospitable Jack gets trapped inside and only
Charlie can save him. Meanwhile, Locke contin-
ues to help Charlie with his addiction as we
learn more about Charlie's troubled past.
Review:
Ah, Charlie, Charlie, Charlie. Charlie is
the greatest. This episode did what I hoped it
would do with his character; he's fleshed out,
and you realize that there is a reason for every-
thing he's become. This is also where we get the
most distinct idea of what sort of role Locke has
on the island. Don't miss this episode, please.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 8: Confidence Man
When Shannon suffers an asthma attack
Jack and Sayid bully Sawyer into giving up the
medicine he's allegedly hiding. In the meantime
Kate tries to uncover the secrets of Sawyer's life,
while Sayid faces the decision of doing some-
thing he thought he'd never do.
Review:
Sawyer is awesome. He has a nickname
 Lost - The Best Damn Show on TV Continued...
for every single character, andhe,'s such an ass-
hole that you know he has to have a softer side.
The episode works, and the flashbacks pay off in
the end. You'll be thinking after this one.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 9: Solitary
an hriad elanadeprrvlto
and Charlie, and we learn a deeper revelation
about Jack's relationship with his father.
Review:
Wow. This episode will keep you capti-
vated. Some of the most intense moments to ever
be on TV are captured here, and if you don't come
close to tears at least once I question your
humanity. Well, I guess it's okay if you don't,
but still the episode's that damn good. Jack's
back story is dark and intriguing, giving you a
movie you could watch on its own. The juxtapo-
sition of these deep, conversation heavy scenes
with the intense chase across the jungle is mes-
merizing. I was in my seat for about ten minutes
after the episode ended, still captured by the
world of Lost. This was the last episode before
the winter hiatus, so we all had to wait a while
for the next episode. That's okay, because this
episode served as a perfect "mini-finale" on its
own.
Rating: ********* [9 out of 10]
Episode 12: Whatever the Case May Be
By David K. Ginn
Locke and Michael go head-to-head when
Walt insists on learning to hunt. Meanwhile a
troubled Charlie deals with his guilt and his
anger as the soft-spoken Rose tries to help him
get back on his feet.
Review:
Ah, finally, at last, it's Michael and
Walt's episode. I'd been waiting for this a long
time, and I must say I was not disappointed. The
back story is captivating and the episode brings
back the fast-paced action you've been waiting
for. The episode is moving, chilling, and most
definitely one of the best so far,
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 15: Homecoming
After Claire's return the survivors must
defend the camp against the ravenous kidnapper
Ethan. Meanwhile Charlie must get over the guilt
of Claire's abduction, especially after he learns
that she has no memory of anything that hap-
pened after the crash.

When Kate finds a mysterious silver case Review:

Sayid is captured by a strange woman as
he goes on a spiritual walk along the island
shores. Back at camp Jack and all the other sur-
vivors are feeling the mental and emotional
effects of trying to get by, and Hurley has an
absolutely crazy idea that just may be the
answer to their problems.
Review:
Sayid's flashbacks are great, but don't
connect enough to the plane crash and the island.
The redeeming factor here is Hurley, and my god
it is great. I want to give this episode eight stars
just for that, but overall I have to stick with
seven. Doesn't mean you should miss it, though.
in a lake near the crash site it sparks the inter-
est of Jack and Sawyer, who are becoming more
curious about the details of Kate's life prior to
the crash. Meanwhile, Locke and Boone try to
make sense of a strange find.
Review:
This is my least favorite episode of the
series so far. It's not bad; in fact by normal tel-
evision standards it's amazing. The problem of
the episode as compared to the rest of the series
is that Kate's back story is too compressed and
holds no real pertinence to the rest of the
episode, save the 'twist' ending. The scenes with
Sawyer are hysterical, but other than that the
episode just doesn't move you. Like always, it's
still not to be missed.

Rating: ******* [7 out of 10] Rating: ****** [6 out of 10]

Episode 10: Raised by Another Episode 13: Hearts and Minds

When Claire tells Jack she was attacked
during the night Jack suspects she might be suf-
fering hallucinations. As a result of the shake-
u.p Hurley begins a census based on the passen-
ger manifest, and Sayid returns from the jungle
with information that the others might not be
ready to hear.
Review:
This is where the show starts to latch
onto its subplot and stick with them. Claire's
back story is touching, and the events leading up
to the eventual cliffhanger are chilling. This is
also where we see a deeper connection between
many of the characters, making the ending that
much more meaningful.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 11: All the Best Cowboys Have
Daddy Issues
Jack and Kate go on a search for Claire
When Locke and Boone ponder over their
recent discovery Locke must take extreme meas-
ures to keep Boone from spreading panic among
the others. As Boone contemplates his relation-
ship with Shannon, Hurley must make amends
with Jin in order to get some fresh food.
Review:
A much better episode than the last one,
even though the 'surprise ending' was somewhat
anticipated. It's still amazing, and a crucial
scene -between Hurley and Jin will have you
laughing to tears.
Oh, boy. I'm laughing just thinking about
it.
The episode leaves you Wondering about
a lot of things, mostly about the true nature of
the island and its other inhabitants.
Rating: ******* [7 out of 10]
Episode 14: Special
Charlie's second episode isn't as strong
as his first but it works nonetheless. The back
story is much less broad but that's part of what
makes it so good. The best thing about the
episode, though, is the standoff against Ethan.
It's one of those rare moments when all the char-
acters are working together, despite their indi-
vidual problems. It also shows what would hap-
pen when you put these characters on the hunt,
and how their primal instincts emerge.
Rating: ******** [8 out of 10]
Episode 16: Outlaws
Sawyer goes on a hunt for a boar he
swears "has it in for him". Meanwhile, Charlie
goes through a tough recovery from his brush
with death as Kate follows Sawyer into the jungle
on an errand that may be a little more than busi-
ness-related.
 Lost Is Awesome
By David K. Ginn
Review:
This is one of those episodes in which the
pacing of both the flashback and the episode seem
to flow at an even speed. The mood is right, the
story' fits, and we see firsthand the depth of
Sawyer through his flashback. It basically tells
us what we already know or guessed, but this time
it shows us, and at times it can be haunting.
Another good go at a second flashback.
Rating: ******* [7 out of 10]
Once again, make sure to catch Episode 17, In
Translation,this Wednesday at 8.
Lost is aired on ABC every Wednesday night at
8pm.
ABC is channel 7 on and off campus.
P&a4l2
Review of Sam Goldma n's
Birthday Party
By Dustin Herlich
Sam Goldman, former managing editor had a blast, and we loved meeting his little
of The Stony Brook Press, is now 25 years old. brother. It's kind of like mini-Sam. Clearly,
His family was gracious enough to invite us to all the things that I have to say about the expe-
a dinner in his honor at the Baku Palace in rience are rave reviews, and I can only image
Brooklyn. Not only was this fabulously gener- that everyone else who was there feels the same
ous of the Goldman family, the party itself was way. I just hope that Sam himself had as good
spectacular. Not only was the food non-stop, it a time as we did.
was impossible to stop eating it. I thought
everything was delicious, except the vodka. I
really can't drink, and don't like vodka any-
how, so I guess that doesn't matter much, then.
What was good, though, was the white wine.
Sweet, not too dry, exactly how I like it. I
believe it was a Muscatel. How bad can a party
be when it has two dessert courses?
The entertainment was several fold.
First, we had the hired singers. They were the
normal performers scheduled for that night, I
assume, since the restaurant wasn't exclusive-
ly for the use of the Goldman family. The qual-
ity of voice mattered little, if at all, for the
male singer was wearing a fully leather suit,
and the woman was dressed as something akin
to an inexpensive street worker. That alone
was worth the price of admission. Getting a
good look at everyone around us was even bet-
ter. Throw into the mix the fact that one of the
songs they sang was Venusby Bananarama, and
you have one hell of a party.
All in all, it was a great time. I think
that pretty much all of Sam's friends who came
...... ......
---- ......
HOURS:
Everv Dav 10AM to QPM 6^ 44,4
Sunday 10AM t4 U"- tr U
FOU 33TH OLD. COMICS
Route 111, Smithtown, NY1787
~W
(Hillside Shopping Center)
STAR TREK * DR WHO: *TOYS *STAR WARS
SCIENCE FICTION * POSTERS * TSHIRTS
JAPANIMATION VIDEOTAPES. MODEL KITS
I . .. I.. ' •
MAGIC*
•
T1F r iO-iATWFR;.iMI
w • .•=,r • P:: ' fa% Ra m .:.. l-: .::l'•:!l:. .ill 9
r. ' :
R v.:sLI•
--------
-
 orI
olse
Millions
ons N.oow
Now
Living Will
Never Die
By Andrew Thompson
Multi-tasking is often a horrible thing,
leading to an unnecessary amount of work later
on. Bands try to do this, exposing themselves to
so many different genres that they end up sound-
ing about as diverse as Yanni, elevator musician to
the world. After their initial failure, they
attempt to focus themselves into an actually
meaningful direction. Some artists succeed at
this and find their niche, while others continue to
mash together genres into a bland grayish paste of
sonic tones.
Tortoise encompasses both extremes of
this approach, being able to create truly amazing
albums that encompass Kraut rock, dub, jazz, and
xylophones in a fantastic display of technical
knowledge and pacing. Millions Now Living Will
Never Die would be a great example of their early
success in fusing together separate musical ideas
into a coherent whole. It's All Around You, their
most recent album, is awful. I'd compare it to the
multinational clich6d music of Yanni.
Fortunately, I will not focus on their recent bland
album but rather on one of their successes.
"Djed," the first song on the album, also
covers every important movement for the past sev-
eral decades. A simple bass line begins what
starts off taut guitar lines. Eventually strange
electronic keys shift underneath and the whole
thing disappears into a minimal electronic
rhythm. From this rhythm comes a simple guitar
riff joined by xylophone which brings together
the whole idea of the mergence of different musi-
cal ideas. The three elements build off each other
and collapse, bringing into effect the strangest
section, which of looped tape experiments that
settle into a comfortable groove accompanied by
ambient noise. Finally the end appears and with
it the song's beginning is recognizable even
through the thick layers of dub.
After the epic "Djed" everything that
comes afterwards simply can not compete with the
21 minute jam they created. In fact, after the ini-
tial opus the rest appears like a modernized ver-
sion of their self-titled debut, only with clearer
sound and more dub-influence. The closer "Along
the Banks of the River" offers a perfect, reflective
end to their strongest effort.
It is unfortunate to see them settle for the
mediocrity of their latest release, instead of being
the unpredictable band influenced by rock, elec-
tronic, and jazz. Some have defended their fate,
saying that as such a jazz-influenced band they
ought to focus more on production of music rather
than return to their more adventurous outlook,
Extremely slow rock, but by no means bor-
ing, there exists catchiness to the music that
those less attuned to their audience would notice.
Tortoise is a good name for the slow evolving
music they create and despite the recent failure,
Millions Now Living Will Never Die proves the
many avenues they have not yet fully explored. I
can only hope that they will steer away from
pointless navel-gazing music (for that is all It's
All Around You is) and be able to progress in
their ideas, instead of merely copying what has
worked in the past.
I Am Robot And Proud Grace Day s
By Andrew Thompson
Hailing from a land of awe-inspiring
wonder (Canada) which also hosts the MUTEK
ic or just plain truthful). Obviously not
everybody has fallen into this rut, but now
festival each year in Montreal comes a 21 year many sit around their computer, producing
old who has accomplished in a short period
what took years for others: the simple fact that
using cheap samplers can be effective in cre-
sub-standard productions. I am Robot and
Proud shows that this cottage industry does
not just make disposable music.
ating emotional music. From the sounds he Grace Days, his most recent effort, is a
uses, it seems he possesses at most a version ofnice mellow treat for those who enjoy laid-
Fruity Loops and various shareware programs. back, optimistic music. Beginning with a con-
Many (wrongly) believe that having technical fident guitar sample and nervous glitches, it
prowess automatically assumes that great builds up to a momentarily quick tempo before
music can be produced simply by using dissolving and showing off the quieter ele-
Max/DSP processing. Richard Devine proves ments that remained hidden underneath the
this idea wrong, by continually making mean- percussion. Most of the album has a similar
dering boredom sound extremely well- structure of being built up, down, and under-
tweaked. lying themes which are broughtto the fore-
front after the interest of the initial melody
and groove has waned.
None of the songs are over 5 minutes,
and there are only 9 songs, so it's a relatively
easy listen both in terms of listening and
timie-wise. In fact, one of these songs "Winter
at Night" was able to have quite an honor
bestowed upon it; it found itself in some
trendy sneaker ad. Of course most people
would call this a form of selling out, but in an
age where I hear mass-produced garbage being
lauded for using 80s synths and calling them
cool, I'm a bit more sympathetic to I Am Robot
and Proud's choice. Music found in commer-
cials has similar musical style that your aver-
age college radio station has. Those who DJ'ed
decades ago now have the chance to set uncon-
ventional music for advertising. No longer are
they forced to rely on mainstream pop for help,
but instead can find a cheaper and more mem-
orable substitute by chobsing an obscure
artist. It happened with the VW ad which used
Nick Drake's "Pink Moon" and with the SAAB
ad that used the. Propellerheads' "History
Repeating."
I Am Robot and Proud remembers that Grace Days is a polite album that uses
there exists a little thing called melody and warm nursery drones to come up with some-
rhythm that many, including those who start- thing that the average listener could associate
ed the movement towards more intelligent with typical happy children's music. His web-
electronic music, have forgotten. Richard D- site is also quite impressive (yes he is also on
James (aka Aphex Twin) used to make great Epitomic.com) and I hope he does more,
albums, now he's struck congratulating him- because somebody needs to prove that the bed-
self (Drukqs unnecessary two discs) and gen- room producer scene is not hopeless and
erally being lazy (is 26 Remixes for Cash iron- redundant.
*s Plannel Parent oodol
Hudson lPcnriicE, Inc
Services:
gyn checkuk- preagniancy testiing
birth control opt ions counseo•irng
testing & treatmenrt foCr STL surgical & mredicJ :abortiion
ernergency contraception prenata$ care
Call
1 8OO- 230 -PLAN
to be conne ctled to the centelr neoarest you
asri
iCen" tteer iPca.tironsh i
Arno nsett. Hurt ngtrn Potchogue Riverhead Smithtown. West slip
P!g,-23
rage z4
 regeneration. (I said "briefly" because there
PHYSICS really is a lot to talk about. For real.)
I will assume that Cassidy's anatomy and
Allfather D'Aronique is approximately physiology are similar to that of an ordinary
five-foot-eight and 700 pounds. In his attempt human. Also, I will focus on his skin, for the
to escape the Reverend Jesse Custer, the mortal sake of brevity. Traditionally, the repair of
vessel of the otherworldly entity known as damaged skin is divided into three phases:
Genesis; and the Saint of Killers, the immortal inflammation, proliferation, and maturation. In
cowboy given a divine right to murder by God the inflammatory phase, a blood clot fornrs, and
himself; the Allfather must abandon his crum- infected skin cells are removed. The prolifera-
bling empire at Masada. As his get-away heli- tive phase involves the initial growth of skin tis-
copter begins to take off, the megalomaniacal sue and the initial re-growth of blood vessels.
Herr Starr instructs the pilot to sharply bank. In the maturation phase, those lovely patches of
left so that they may unload some "extraneous" damaged skin are made stronger.
weight. Unbekndwnst to Herr Starr, the inbred Of course, the regeneration of skin is
adolescent who just happens to be the direct accelerated if all of the phases are accelerated.
descendent of Jesus Christ himself awaits In the inflammatory phase, the response of cells
unawares below. What I propose. to prove, via and blood vessels to injury can be faster. The
some heavenly calculations, is that the blood vessels constrict more rapidly.
Allfather would not only crush the boy to death Neurotransmitter and hormone releases are
as illustrated by the very talented Steve Dillon increased. The collection of blood platelets and
in Preacher: Proud Americans, but he would in the network of fibrin develops sooner. In addi-
fact explode in the most literal sense of the tion, blood vessels become more permeable.
word. More cells and proteins go to the necessary site
One of the most irritating things about of healing. As a result, blood clots form more
physics, in my opinion, is its occasional inabil- quickly. Macrophages clean up debris, and bac-
ity to be applied to real life situations. The dif- teria release enzymes that destroy injured cells.
ficulty arises if there are oddly shaped masses, Macrophages also release substances that attract
unstable thermal conditions, complex fields, or. skin cells to the wound. The skin cells are
many-body problems because the mathematics encouraged to multiply until blood vessel for-
becomes too complex to solve directly. Luckily, mation. Then, the immune system kicks in by
we do not have to concern ourselves with such sending T lymphocytes to the site of the wound.
physically intricate initial conditions. We will In the proliferative phase, epithelium-
be able to generate a rather exact solution to our one specific layer of skin cells-forms over the
problem since almost all the components of.the exposed wound. As the epithelium moves across
system are well known; it's just a fat guy falling the injury, it dissects the injury and separates
out of a helicopter. the healthy and damaged cells. Then, a collagen
For all intents and purposes, the framework forms. The framework helps in the
Allfather is about as close as you'll ever get to subsequent repair of damaged blood vessels.
a uniform solid sphere of radius R = (5.667 Simultaneously, the wound starts to close.
ft.)/2 = 2.834 ft. = .87 m. This would give himn a In the maturation phase, the collagen
volume of V = 4/3 R 3 = 2.76 m3 and a density network becomes more organized. More collagen
of d = M/v = 170 kg / m3 . Let's say the heli- is produced. An extensive network of collagen
copter made it about 100 feet off the ground will greatly increase the tensile strength of the
before dumping the grossly obese pontiff. It skin. Also, cytokines .help in injury healing.
would take exactly t = vT / g = 7.9 seconds of These protein-assistiig molecules stimulate
freefall for fatty to attain a terminal velocity of cell responses that strengthen the skin at the
1 2
vTerminal = (MgCpA) / = 77.41 m /s = site of healing.
173.16 mph (assuming we only take the quad- For Cassidy to he
ratic term of the freefall equation). comparable set of
Unfortunately, the helicopter is not high enough accelerated chemical
off the ground, so the Allfather will still be reactions will have to `
.accelerating when he crushes the inbred child occur in his other
into the next life. But don't lose hope, friends, biological tissues. Thes(
for D'Aronique will still be moving at an aston- tissues include musc
ishing 99.03 mph when he hits 4.52 seconds bone, nerve, and lymph.
after rolling out of the chopper.
Think about it this way: If a car on the
The Living
New York State Thru-Way hits a deer head-on at
70 mph and the animal explodes, what would Tribunal is: sl
happen to a 700 lb. man if the planet Earth hit Joe Filippazzo
him at 99 mph? Well... he'd be fucking obliter- Chris Williams and
ated. Mike Billings
day, as the world plunges itself into
Armageddon, the Grail can present the child as
the world's savior; thereby gaining control over
the world for themselves. To ensure the blood-
line's survival until such a time, the Allfather,
the leader of the Grail, travels with the child at
his side at all times. Unfortunately, this self-
same Allfather is a bulimic pedophile and looks
to weigh about 1500 lbs.
It all starts with the Allfather's obses-
sion with the child. Spending so much time,in
close proximity with the child, who happens to
be profoundly retarded due to millennia of
inbreeding, the Allfather seems to have devel-
oped an intense devotion and attraction to him.
Wherever the Allfather goes, the child must fol-
low in tow; despite the fact that he could easily
be protected by the countless guards the Grail
has at its disposal. Despite his deep affection
for the child, the Allfather is painfully aware
that the bloodline of the Grail must not be taint-
ed. Instead, the Allfather must seek out alter-
native methods for quenching the deep love he
feels for the child; that alternative is blueberry
pies and Mallomars.
In order to compensate for his intense
physical and psychological for the child, the
Allfather is compelled to constantly eat to numb
the pain of unrequited love. According to leg-
end, it is commonplace for the Allfather to con-
sume enough food to feed a small village in a
single sitting. After binging, the Allfather
induces himself to vomit by inserting plastic
fingers down his throat, thus completing the
binging and purging cycle that is typically
associated with most sufferers of Bulimia
Nervosa. Unlike the normal symptoms of the
disorder, however, the Allfather does not have
any body image issues that would induce the
disorder, but he does share the common theme of
a desire for self control.
As the leader of the most powerful and
influential organization in the world, the
Allfather is in complete control of his external
world. Internally, oh the other hand, he is a
maelstrom of illicit desire unadulterated long-
ing. To the Allfather, excessive eating is the
omething besides a love that
ome to pass. Although his
traint when it comes to sex-
ravaging the profoundly
arded Christ-child is
imirable, the Allfather needs
to learn to deal with his emo-
tions so that he can improve
his eating habits. At the rate
he's eating at now, the
Allfather is headed for a life-
time of hypertension, heart
problems, and disability.
,:Only when the Allfather
comes to terms with his love
can the eating stop.
Page 25
 1~

estroy the government facility that

P
Channel
7:00. .....
7:00
/O1.,~11 0 730 8:00 8:30
created it. (Destroy it with love.)
;-I·· ·:-
--
· ------------------------------------
Issue naked pictures of Fred 4
Phelps to those at "high risk." NBC •.......... ....
..........................
.. ...........
..
... :·~i:
..........~
· X·:·:·::~:·~··: :.-.
, X:~~::··
:~~::ft:;~;
. ...........

rayer... if you believe

in that kind of shit.
:...........
...................
....... .........
..... ..........................
I-I
_ - -- I a I I

:
'.
;:~i,·c
Happy meals.
'LiiIIlIIIlI ~li I. II II I I I iii I' i -I

Catholic Church has sudden massive par-

digm shift, decides to educate its captive
audience currently known as "Africa."
I- - I -

Construct a new death star on the

far side of the forest moon Endor.
- : :--- ...........
,. ··=·.···;.·-·.-,·1·:-·-,.,,-
.·.-.
-·
··....... ..........

11
WB ...
..X.,
. .-NýX-
......

iat Accursed and Sinful 13

Stem-cell Non-sense. PBS
:
Wait for enough rich 25
El 1
Rage 26
people to get it. CNN
NASA DISCOVERS THE W STANDS THE PUCK
LIFE ON MARS... FOR WEED STOPS HERE

O
c.

U-

Bush admits to marijuana use.

Author Doug Wead recorded
the then Texas governor, without
...unfortunately, his knowledge, between 1998 and
they're a red state. 2000 for a book he was research-
ing.
Mars rover detected traces of In the tapes, Bush allegedly NHL=No Hockey League.
methane gas, which could indicate admits to trying pot and cocaine. Due to a labor dispute, there
the presence of life beneath the sur- will be no NHL hockey season this
He goes on to talk about how
face of Mars. year, leaving a void of hundreds of
If there is life on Mars, no
he would deny it if he was ever
hours of television programming
doubt they voted for Bush, having questioned by the media, citing that from April to June.
no concept that after Iraq, Mars he wouldn't want young children of To fill the empty time \slots,
would be the next target for "libera- America to be influenced by his TV execs plan on running repeats
tion." actions and get hooked on drugs.
But yet his actions influence of HBO's Sex In The City and the
The Methane gasses proved
to be faulty emissions from the '81 the children of America to go fight a
movie Dude Wheres' My Car? And
Dodge Dart that is parked out back senseless war in Iraq, resulting in even creating new spin-off shows
of the Martian's trailor park, sur- death and disfigurement, causing like, CSI:lstanbul and Desperate
rounded by empty Budweiser cans, many soldiers returning hooked on Eskimo Igloowives.
waiting for repairs. a different kind of drug - pain killers.

SEXY SHOES
Full 5" heel & even more! Many different styles
colors leathers Shoes & boots, sizes' 5 14. Clnky
heels &platormrns. too
FULL COLOR
ILLUS. CATALOG ............. $400
MONIQUE, Dep. 2259
SBox
85151, Hollywood, Ca. 90072 -...

BIG BAZOOMS!'i
FOUND FOOTAGE WITH GIANT BREASTEDi
N SUCCULENT TTTIESI|
1 HR BOUNCING BOOBIESI!
ONLY 4 ;BETl
19.99POSTPAID
I F. F.PRODUCTIONS VHS1
i2167 t. eIS , V89119
LousV
......
... ... .:.
.. .
 .....
..
..
momommm
.mmm
jSi d.sA 4~1 St~epf
. .
.. .. . . . . .. . . . ... . . . . . . . . . . . ..

aneWit Veye.d CSLc/lj

5 OL 1
Ever edW? ehiws
t kVA 3ereY
A9 chid
"Alf 3 up
hayiir^ *- Ba-

N
4-.81~

Wtt
IT aJ bL
kFIC
Tr TChe
rprpeCr
f ttcavdyi
< t v A-YLA.
. skwlU ~~~a~ ~ :~-~~~--i~B
-w. o 4
~8~:~~q~l ~dl~;~~
iHe'L bui rei i pwc
eturd ^ te

VVMA
Ar .^ afti1 sfd j
a^e~Sylfj Lw:Ek17 *__ft
 .......
.,'.: ~:.~:.
.......
....
...
...... ..... ..
....
...........

,..
;xj: .:-%X.I·r:
..:iE'
......:::
8:::::.
.
..
.
.... ....
~:~:Q::·i~
.
..
...
.. ....
.
.....
...
..
...
.
....
..
.....
...
. .. .
..
i:~;:::::i·:::::·:·:·:····:-'·:-:···
; I
··-· I ·I

1Ilege Boyz ver. 2.0 By: Joe Rios Yes, this definately I think it's time that the
doesn't make any artist responsible for
sense. We have this shit should step
always been drawn foreward and explain
Ok, what the fuck
from the neck uP. this!
is going on here?!
Since when do /

we have bodies?

umm... yeah... sorry 'bout

the sudden change...
-Joe

,, ki
ibertmy
were Y.,Tfi
'y name is Ton C
q write Taiu dat
tis my
?uc. your damn I
dm'fant aiw a

jaime
· -.. ..... :':':
....
 Whiat Mary Don't Invite Nancy or Tonya
By Tara Lynne Groth
Naughton Would "There's nothing to do on Long Island" is
a complaint I hear all too frequently. So lace up
it. Fortunately, Claudio's still remains!
Several years ago, a glass enclosure for
Write if She Wrote your skates before the spring thaw, and try ice
skating outside (instead of in the confines of
Sports Plus).
the carousel overlooking the Peconic Bay in the
heart of town was completed. This carousel was
donated to the Village of Greenport by
an Article According to the
Islanders' website, Long
hasn't had an outdoor ic
>und a decade ago, its
overnment's property in

By Tara Lynne Groth built since

without private fu
1972's construction(
s year-round landmark,
the outdoor ice skating
During your time on Stony Brook
University's campus you will find that those Nassau Coliseum. As e 18 and under, $5 for
responsible for landscaping and architecture January 22, 2005 this 11 buy cheap "cool" fun
have an affinity for the not-so-straight line. changed. enture 'out on the North
S The newly constructed "Memory Walk" Greenport has b( urprised to see that this
on the south side of the Stony Brook Union fea- undergoing what politici; :lude skate rental: that's
tures an example of this pattern. This wavy are inclined to term "beau ional $2. So if you're a
walkway doesn't serve much of a practical pur- fication" over the past p skate, bring your own
pose, except maybe an insignificant aesthetic years. This has transforr ates! Puns can be fun.
improvement. Nah, it just generates more com- downtown Greenport corn
plications: students having to siphon through a erably, and those who mal
small path, ice and slush rivers and an increase not have trekked out to thi
in the University's landscaping bill to maintain tiny port in a while woul(
the flowers during more pleasant weather. have difficulty recogniz
What's more confusing is from a bird's eye view
it looks like an Easter egg.

Another new feature on campus is the

9/11 memorial built in the cluster, of trees
between the Administration Building and
Javits. The pathways here defy a practical
straight line and make getting from Point A to
Point B more of a Miracle Maze adventure.
Also near Javits are the walkways
around the fountain and the Psychology
Building. These are probably the most obvious
example of the University's fetish with the not-
so-straight line.
Even the Zebra Trail running from the
Old Chemistry Building up to the SAC is paint-
ed in said animal's zigzag pattern in an attempt
to make even the straightest Walkway appear
ziggy.,
What was at first thought to be a crop
circle this past fall behind Mendelsohn Quad
turned out to be another University creation
with wavy lines. The University spent a couple
hundred bucks to mow the grass in a fancy way
to form a labyrinth for students and faculty to
walk around (mostly in circles).
These are just several of the pedestrian
handicaps and illogical structures'that illus-
trate Stony Brook's love of the wavy line.
Mary Naughton is a senior at Stony Brook
University and provided her thoughts for the
content above. Mary studies Cinema and
Cultural Studies and minors in Anthropology.
She also has some amazing theories regarding
the dynamics of the caste system of high school.

3O
1Pag
 Could Gays Have Prevented 9/3LI?
"You're so fucking gay." "You're such a
stupid faggot." "Gay ass."
You've all said things like this before,
intending to insult one of your friends or an
individual that had been giving you grief.
Everyone is guilty of this: accusing somebody of
being homosexual or in some other way "sexual-
ly deviant" merely to insult them. Harmless
comments, of course. A book you were reading
for class was "gay" because it failed to capture
your attention or interest. Or you said your
friend was "like, so gay" because he or she was
acting weird and silly, or had done something
hurtful, etc. Such a comment wasn't even given
a second thought, if it was even given a first.
Such a comment was stated merely in jest, sim-
ply to poke harmless fun at friends, classmates,
or co-workers. Well, next time you call your
buddy a stupid fag, remember that it is that
very mindset that allowed perhaps the greatest
tragedy our nation ever endured, 9/11, to occur.
In the weeks and months leading up to
September 1 1t h , 2001, United States intelli-
gence agencies had a backlog of information
pertaining to the War on Terror. Mountains of
evidence had been gathered on Al-Qaeda that
told of plans for future acts of terrorism,
including a plan to crash two passenger planes
into the World Trade Center. Unfortunately,
those documents were all in Arabic. At a time
when more and more translators were needed
ever so desperately to read the information, the
military was discharging valuable specialists
By Joe Safdia
for the sole reason that they were homosexuals. attitude in military policy has jeopardized
Experts have identified the lack of national 'security.
available specialists to translate and decipher Unfortunately, a drastic move forward in
the gathered intelligence as one of the major military policy may not come for many years,
causes for the September 1 th tragedy. In other even decades. This is because we as a people are
words, if it weren't for the homophobic nature of naturally socialized to be homophobic from the
American culture, three thousand deaths may very beginning. We are put in a category of
have been prevented. either "'male" or "female" and if we in any way
And the military hasn't even learned its act in a manner that does not fit our "assigned"
lesson yet. Even after 9/11, homosexual sol- category, we are considered strange and abnor-
diers and officers are still being discharged mal. And homosexuality does not fit perfectly
merely for their sexual preference. Within a into those categories. When a parent tries to get
year after 9/11, nine linguists were kicked out their son to try out for the football team or per-
of the U.S. Armed Forces for being gay. Six were suade their daughter to take dance classes,
fluent in Arabic. Between 1998 and 2004, a when children ostracize a boy by calling him a
staggering 73 translators were discharged for girl, or even at more mature ages where we
not being heterosexuals. merely say something we don't like is "gay," we
The armed forces has a "don't ask, don't have been giving, and in turn are giving, the
tell" policy which prohibits the military from impression that homosexuals are inferior to
questioning soldiers about their sexuality, as heterosexuals. But don't-worry, this country
well as requiring soldiers to keep their sexual will one day fully accept gays and lesbians. It
preferences to themselves. But isn't this remi- took the better part of a century, but minorities
niscent of the "separate, but equal" policy our were eventually given full protection under the
government enforced after the 1896 Supreme law. And so will homosexuals.
Court case of Plessy v. Ferguson? The policy America is a heavily gendered society
that brought institutionalized racism upon the with an anti-gay mindset implanted into our
American people until the Civil Rights move- brains from the day we are born. Unfortunately,
ment of the 1960's?- Just as "separate, but homophobia, as well as racism or sexism, -can-
equal" brings institutionalized racism with it, have devastating results, such as the tragic
"don't ask, don't tell" spawns institutionalized death of three thousand people on September
homophobia. But where institutionalized racism 1 1th, 2001. Just something to keep in mind
brought on protests, hate groups, and police next time you decide to call your friend a fag.
brutality towards minorities, a homophobic'

America SDad: It's The McFarlane Way!

By Seth Maggiore
Super Bowl Sunday. After witnessing characters, no matter how they're compared, In conclusion, Family Guy fans, as well
yet another team blow it against the Patriots, I make this show different from Family Guy. as people desperate for political comedy, will
began to see my fuzzy logic pay off; there was no American Dad's strength also lies in its witty love it no matter what criticisms are drawn.
way this night would end badly. I was in a no- portrayal of contemporary issues and events. I Some will just watch it on Adult Swim when
lose situation. I thought that no matter how bad thought I was going to piss my pants when the they're stoned and too lazy to change the chaji-
the game or commercials get, or how annoying cartoon flashed to a scene of God telling George nel (people always seem to lose the remote when
my friend Nick would get claiming he'd been Bush not to publicly discuss their relationship they're high). Other soulless, joyless individu-
with the Pats since '96, after the Super Bowl so much. Still, American Dad's strengths can als will stop at nothing to take it down.. I just
there was going to be the premiere of Seth unfortunately lead to it's downfall as well. suppose that's just the way of the world. Yet the
McFarlane's newest brainchild, American Dad. Since it's based on current events, cer- one aspect that will potentially lead to
And beer. There was lots and lots of beer to tain people (i.e. politically correct assholes) American Dad's success is its edginess and
help, as well. may get angry with the show's controversial unabashed real view of the world around us. In
The first things I noticed about subject matters. Personally, I won't be sur- a society in which political correctness is tight-
American Dad were the similarities to Family prised if the show gets cancelled for a 9/11 joke ening, from the left and right sides, a show that
Guy. In visual terms, the animation quality is or mocking the Iraq war. Besides that, there are" allows us to laugh instead of cry will surely
identical to Family Guy. But this really isn't a other things that weren't so great about prove its worth. In addition, Seth McFarlane is
big deal, just worth mentioning. More notice- American Dad. Particularly, the dependency on helping the advancement of Seths everywhere by
ably, and importantly, were the characters in predictably crude, ignorant jokes (Henry being an endless source of comedy, so thanks
the show. The average nuclear family was pres- Kissinger: More than a Jew) that simply take Seth McFarlane, you're making this world a bet-
ent: CIA agent/father Stan Smith, ever compro- away from a uniquely humorous show, even if ter place for all of us.
mising Stepford wife Francine, "enlightened" they do produce a
daughter Hayley and. awkward teenage son Steve. cheap laugh. At some
In addition to the family are Klaus, a naughty points these jokes
goldfish with the brain of a German guy, and make it almost too
Roger, the junk food addicted alien. The cast of similar to Family
eccentric characters play out similar dialogue Guy, again not inten-
and storylines to those of Family Guy, too, but tionally, but a result
this is not intentional, just Seth McFarlane. of Seth McFarlane's
Although it may seem to some as if American sense of humor. This
Dad was created to be Family Guy II, the differ- factor will play a
ences are really what make the show unique and major role when the
capable to stand on itsown. series airs in May,
The show is different because it's more considering it is
politically engaged and displays the pure, utter scheduled to appear
stupidity which exists in American political after Family Guy
life. The ability to be hilariously honest about every Sunday. If the
our society is where American Dad picks up show doesn't sepa-
more on than Family Guy, Whether it's liberal rate itself from that
Hayley being searched every time she enters mold, the critics will
her house by her intrusive and controlling neo- do their best to blast
con dad, or Hayley making fun of her dad's mis- it off the air as they
guided ultra-patriotism, we can all relate to, or did with Family Guy
have been a part of, these little fights. The the first time around.
 Million Dollar Contrversy
By Sam Goldman
the entire plot, up to the ending. He also ting that, were he in Frankie's shoes, he would
revealed the twist in his USA Today column and not have done what Frankie did.
his weekly radio segment, and recently In Ebert's corner, also, is Seattle Times
appeared on The O'Reilly Factor to further and Amazon.com critic Jeff Shannon, who calls
explain his position (it should be noted that Eastwood's film "the masterwork of a great
Bill O'Reilly disagreed with him). Rush American filmmaker," and one of the better
Limbaugh, in his radio show, also revealed the films of the year, even though Shannon blatant-
iinnt tastwooa s IMllulton uoiiar naoy, ending of the movie to their audience, then ly disagrees with the actions and thoughts of the
the film starring Hilary Swank, Morgan Freeman offered a half-hearted apology when confronted two characters. In fact, Shannon himself hap-
and Eastwood himself, is widely considered, by angry patrons. Conservative columnist pens to be a quadriplegic who, obviously, has
along with Alexander Payne's Sideways, as one Debbie Schlussel stated on her website that made a decision to live, and is productive and
of the co-favorites for an Academy Award. Million Dollar Baby is an Oscar shoo-in happy.
Eastwood is also considered a favorite for Best "because it's Hollywood's best political propa- Roger Ebert, most notably, characterizes
Actor. But the movie has also begun to generate ganda of the year... it supports killing the hand- the controversy not in terms of political or reli-
considerable controversy thanks to its ending, icapped, literally putting their lights out." gious ideas, but in much simpler terms. It is a
which many conservatives seem to believe advo- All three columnists claim that, by controversy over whether characters in movies
cates euthanasia. virtue of their performances, and the simple should do what you believe to be the morally
Adapted from two stories from former fact that two of Hollywood's biggest stars play correct decision,. or whether the characters
real-life boxing cut man F.X. Toole's collection, the two most significant roles, Million Dollar should be able to make their own choices.
Short Cuts, the movie centers on Maggie, Hilary Baby becomes an advertisement for euthanasia Although Ebert disagrees with Maggie's wish to
Swank's character, a desperate female boxer who as a preferred choice for quadriplegics. Medved, die and Frankie's decision to grant that wish, in
is so poor she takes steaks other people don't especially, believes the marketing of the movie his opinion, the characters act believably.
finish at the restaurant she works at and eats as a boxing flick instead of as the right-to-die Maggie's entire life is based around her body;
them herself. Eastwood plays Frankie, a boxing paean he believes it to be is "manipulative" and after traveling the world, and now watching her
trainer/cut man who (VERY) reluctantly takes "misleadingly marketed" and believes that he- physical body disintegrate before her eyes,
Maggie under his wing. and others-have a responsibility to warn the Maggie feels there is nothing left on this" world
In predictable yet very enjoyable fash- audience before they fall victim to its propa- for her, and despite Frankie's best attempts, she
ion, Frankie transforms Maggie into n impres- ganda. On The O'Reilly Factor, Medved also cannot be persuaded otherwise. Frankie-cares so
sive female boxer, knocking out just about every inferred that he believes that the movie is an much for Maggie that, in the end, he sacrifices
opponent she would face. However, in the story's example of stereotypical liberal Hollywood himself for her, killing her knowing full well
big twist, a cheap shot from a Tysonesque thinking, adding that the priest is so unlikable that his decision will have lasting ramifications
German boxer leaves Maggie paralyzed from the in the movie that he is almost portrayed as a vil- on his psyche (as the priest warned him).
leck down. lain, and Frankie's decision to go against his While Ebert, Shannon and many other
Frankie tries his best to keep her spir- advice is glorified. people reject the choices the characters make,
its up; trying to shield her from her money- the movie-going public is smart enough to
grubbing hick family, coming to her hospital understand that just because a movie has its
room to read Gaelic, and trying to get her to go characters make decisions that we disagree
to college with the money she has saved up. But with, that, in and of itself, does not automati-
Maggie instead begs Frankie to put her out of cally make the movie a bad movie. Nor does that
her misery. Frankie balks. necessarily make it an advertisement for a point
In an illuminating conversation between of'view we find either morally correct or repug-
Frankie and his priest, the priest tells him, in nant. As Ebert said, "What kind of movies would
no uncertain terms, that if he did what Maggie there be if we expected everyone in them to do
asked of him, he would be damned for the rest of what we think they should do?" Meanwhile,
his life. "If you do this thing you will be lost," Michael Medved, Rush Limbaugh and others
the Father says, "somewhere so deep you will believe that any movie that does not espouse a
never find yourself." morally correct point of view is bad on its face,
Finally, however, Frankie acquiesces, and that the public should not be trusted to be
sneaking in and out of her hospital in the dead able to view the material objectively. They
of night to peacefully put her to eternal slum- would prefer a return to the 1950's, where
ber. Leading the pack on the other side of the Hbllywood still had to abide by the old Hays
Now, the controversy. fence is Chicago Sun-Times columnist Roger moral code, where no one could make a decision
Proudly conservative movie critic Ebert, who, in a recent column, accused the deemed morally repugnant without being pun-
Michael Medved has been making the rounds above people of intentionally revealing the end- ished before the movie ended, and issues such
speaking out against Million Dollar Baby. Before ing of Million Dollar Baby in an attempt to dam- as euthanasia and assisted suicide, actions with
the film opened, Medved went on Pat Robertson's age it financially, and calls their actions "not a moral value that is truly debated worldwide,
The 700 Club to discuss the movie-and reveal justifiable." He says all this even while admit- would never be made at all.
 A Fault in the
X-Box? Surely
Constanttine This Cannot Be!
By Eddie Zardorozny
Let's see...the actual spear that was secrets about her self as well as the big picture
plunged into the side of Jesus more then two. here [I guess psychiatric counseling was not an By Joe Rios
thousand years ago has been discovered by two option]. This suicide brings about the bond A fault in the Microsoft X-Box? Such a
Mexicans, in Mexico, who have been rummaging between Constantine and Angie, as they try to concept doesn't seem possible. After all,
through the burnt remnants and ash of a house unravel what the intention of it was. It also sets Microsoft is perfect, if you ignore the security
that has been totaled. Upon a break in the foun- in motion the devil and his demons of the gaps and lack of design on their products (don't
dation underfoot, a hole is revealed where the underworld that see the connection between yell at me for bashing Microsoft, I'm just say-
Mexican reaches down and finds the spear of Isabel and Angie and how it plays into their tac- ing they could do better)!
destiny [I now believe the theory of continental tics. As well as God's emissary half-breed Microsoft's latest "OOPS" involves the
drift]. This spear when handled and thrust angel, played by Tilda Swinton, who has ulteri- power cord on the X-Box consoles. Apparently
upon an undetected and unknowing woman car- or motives of the event. the power cords occasionally short out, causing
rying the son of the devil will bring hell onto I would say that the first two thirds of overheating and smoke from the cable. Now
earth. The uncovering of this spear has just this film is entertaining it keeps your interests before you throw your console out one of your
launched the mission. peaked and there are Windows (ha-ha), note that Microsoft has only
One man, John some spectacular spe- identified 30 cases across the globe of such
Constantine [Keanu cial effects, one par- events happening. In a few cases there was
Reeves], is a rejected. ticular is when some damage to furniture, and seven people
servant of heaven. Constantine is received burns to their hands from the over-
This, due to a suicide attacked by a -demon heating wires.
attempt he made at a completely construct-
young age because of ed of bugs, the effect
his reluctance and there is amazing. Also
resistance to deal with the imagery of the
his power to spot underworld is very
demons disguised as visual, the landscape
humans that walk is all of fire and all
amongst us. He was. objects such as build-
spared the fate of hell, ings and cars are
due to revival by doc- torched burnt and
tors that brought him melted [of course this
back from that fiery is from a artistic view-
grave, but he- did point, I will be going to
encounter two hellish church after this
minutes of the under- analysis].
world, and the devil It's the last
does not like to have to third of the film that
send_ people back.- is a convoluted mess.
John is a suicide angel Most of the characters
who is trying to buy are underdeveloped,
his way into heaven by sending thousands of and there are' plot holes and instances of shake-
demons that walk among us back to hell by your-head confusion, one particular is when
killing them. It is through circumstance, peo- Constantine gives Angie an emblem from a
ple, and scenarios, that John pieces together the priest [I think], he tells her to wear it around
events and uncovers the magnitude of what is at her neck for protection as he goes to fight a half
stake, namely the world. breed demon, she is told to wait in the car. We
The film has an interesting premise and all know she is not going to wait in the car, but According to Microsoft, fewer than one
it starts off well, the scene where John is intro- why did she remove the emblem and leave it in in ten thousand units have had this type of
duced to the viewer he is about to perform an .the car [Was it on loan from Harry Winston?]? equipment failure, and the damage has been
exorcism. That scene is tense and captured All the characters intertwine with death, resur- limited to the cables and consoles. If you are
engrossingly by the camera. There is also the rection, and sacrifice as they battle for the sake concerned about your cable, you can go to
character of Angie [Rachel Weisz] who is inves- of the world and with Constantine at the fore- www.xbox.com and check your box's serial
tigating the suicide of her twin sister Isabel, front of this fight. I was hoping Keanu Reeves number to see if it has been recalled. If it is,
which she strongly disagrees, happened. This, would go into serious acting mode and end it all you get to fill out a form like I just did, and in
suicide seems to be Isabel's ploy to tell Rachel by simply saying "Um Mr. Devil dude this fight- a few weeks Microsoft will have a new power
that there is a purpose to her death ard this ing has to stop, ok dude." cord shipped to your door FREE OF CHARGE.
should iumnstart her investigation and uncover Now if you're sitting there after order-
ing the cable and are wondering, "Well how am
I going to play Halo2 now?" Fear not! Microsoft
insists that the cables are safe for regular use;
they do however recommend that you turn off
your console while it is not in use.
 What Did You Want forValenune's
So what did you want for Valentine's
Day? A new car? A stereo system? A night of
wild debauchery? World peace?
I wanted a stick. Yes, a stick. An ordi-
nary branch of wood with a small diameter, and
smallish length. How can I request a stick?
Well, I'll tell you how. It all starts with a con-
versation I had with Jamie...
See, Jamie got a valentine's day card
from somebody (no one gave me a valentine's day
card...) and I told him "well, It's better than a
sharp stick in the eye". This instantly sparked
something in my brain that I could not ignore.
There it was, staring me in the face. My perfect
Valentine's Day gift is a simple stick. See, for
me, a stick is more than just a stick. No, I don't
worship wood or have carnal desires for bark,
but I do have a close personal friendship with
nature.
Back as far as I can remember, I have
loved nature, camping, the woods, all that stuff.
My friends even to this day refer to me as a
"nature boy" and I've been known to engage in
some fairly interesting activities like chopping
down some small trees in my backyard and
whittling spears out of them. Crazy? Maybe,
but I've never hurt anyone with what I've done
and it keeps me busy and away from anything
really bad.
A stick is not only a useful present (I
could make all kinds of things out of it, or just
poke people) but it also shows that either some
deep thought or true insanity went into the gift.
If the escaped mental patient is giving me a
stick for Valentine's Day, chances are that it's
actually July, and this person is desperately
trying to chew his or her way though the strait-
jacket, as this is probably the only kind of per-
Looking for a unique extra-curricular
activity? Have you ever considered learning a
traditional handicraft? Ever wonder what life
was like before the industrial revolution?
Before all of our clothing and other items were
mass-produced in some overseas sweatshop?
Why not try your hand at traditional
floor loom weaving? Unbeknownst to most stu-
dents on campus, the Stony Brook Union Crafts
Center has a wealth of old-world looms and they
are offering a class in weaving beginning March
7.
Why would I want to learn to weave,
you ask? Well, there are many reasons. For
starters, it is an art that very few people
know; therefore it is a great conversation
starter. Think about it; how many people
can say "I'm a bio-physics major and in. my
free time I like to weave handmade scarves
for my friends and family?" Hey, it would
even look good on your resume; employers
always like people with unique and inter-
esting hobbies.
Weaving is also a great stress-reliev-
er; kind of like meditation, but in the end
you actually have a unique and useful work
of art. It's also a way to re-connect with the
past; all cultures across the globe have
relied on the skills of weavers to produce the
basic necessities of clothing and cloth for
items such as bags and blankets. If you
think about it, it's like a fun, participatory
history class; but rather than learning from
a book you learn by creating.
Did you know that Icelandic curren-
cy was based on ells of homespun cloth for
several centuries? In fact, Icelandic woolen
%
cloth was so valuable and necessary as both
a commodity and a standardized mon'etary
M
rage 4
son that would bother sincerely asking me to be
their valentine. The other scenario is that
someone knows me well enough, that they
understand how special something as insignifi-
cant as a stick can be, especially for me. Yeah,
part of it is I am that easy to please when it
comes to tokens of affection, but let's get a lit-
tle deeper into the matter.
Aside from the things you DO with a
stick, think about the stick as a gift in a more
abstract way. Instead of mindlessly giving
chocolate or flowers, this person sat down, and
said "no, it has to be something totally creative
Weave a Tangled
unit in the Middle Ages that Icelandic women
were the only women in Europe at that time who
actively participated in the economy and were
respected for it.
OK, if I haven't enticed you yet, then
maybe this sad story will., As you know, weav-
ing, like many other traditional arts, is a dying
art. Unfortunately, even with a wealth of looms
at our disposal right here on campus, the lack of
enough people registering for the weaving class-
es has left these poor looms untouched for a few
my?
By Dustin Herlich
and different". Giving from the hear 't, even if
it's a half a wad of chewed gum, is mo)re special
to me than buying someone a set of dia mond ear-
rings just to shut them up. Yes, I wouild proba-
bly have fun with the stick, and do al i kinds of
crazy things with it, but ifyou're stil 1 hung up
on the material aspect of the present, either you
haven't been reading what I'm saying, or you're
a much more materialistic person than I am.
Showing somebody you care can come in
many different forms. Gifts are a great way to
show you are thinking of somebody, but give too
many and they can get stale and become trite.
There are a million different ways you can show
somebody you care without spending a dime.
I'll admit that I wouldn't mind if someone
bought me a brand new Canon Elan 7NE, but even
that is less money than what many I know have
spent on somebody. You always hear "It's the
thought that counts" and to me, that works on
several levels.
Yes, the thought of "hey, Dustin's weird
and actually enjoys playing with sticks" comes
into play, but also "hey, this is something com-
pletely different and shows I'm thinking more
than just a.cting" or even "yeah, this is funny
and random, I'm glad Dustin will appreciate
this 'cause few others will".
Maybe if more people in this world could
appreciate the subtle meanings of getting a stick
for a present, we would be in a much better state
of affairs. If anyone out there wants to be my
valentine and give me a stick, come by the office
and drop one off for me. Better yet, come to a
weekly staff meeting and give it to me in person.
It's not about material possessions, or the act of
giving. It's about the act of caring.
feb
By Natalie Schultz
years now. Due to this perceived lack of inter-
est, this is the last time a weaving class will be
offered at the Crafts Center. Unfortunately,
even this class may be cancelled because not
enough people have registered yet.
It's not too late! In fact, I have faith that
it is not lack of interest that has kept ye stu-
dents away, rather the fact that you didn't know
that this fascinating facility even existed here
on campus. So, ye bored campus dwellers, why
not try your hand at traditional weaving this
semester? You will help keep a dying art
alive, and you will even have something
interesting to bring home to your parents at
the end of the semester to show that you did
more than just schlep around in a drunken
stupor after countless studious hours.
Still not convinced? How about seeing
it as the way to fulfill that altruistic goal you
set for yourself? By registering for this
class, you will help to ensure that the class
will not be cancelled; that the poor souls
already registered will not be let down. You
will not only make others happy, but you will
learn a fun new skill and have something nice
to show for it on more levels than one.
The Floor Loom Weaving Workshop
will be held on six Monday nights 6:30-
9:00pm, beginning March 7 t h. To register, or
for more information on this and other fun
Crafts Center classes, stop by the Crafts
Center in the basement of the Student Union
or call (631)632-6822. Email:
sb.union.crafts .center
@notes.cc.sunysb.edu
 STwixers, III Have None of hat
Surprised I was that there was not an
article in the last issue of The Pressresponding
to Time Magazine's January 24, 2005 issue fea-
turing a cover story about today's youth. More
specifically-those in their mid-twenties.
Lev Grossman's synopsis of this cross
section of society touched upon new statistical
findings and psychological research and other
yawn factors that deter most people from opti-
cally consuming the entire article. For those
who missed this, Grossman provided examples
of indecisive young adults who aren't conform-
ing to society's standards. Instead of bear hug-
ging a thirty-year fixed rate mortgage, tackling
the 9 to 5 and sporting a sexy Osh-Kosh diaper
bag, today's youngin' aims at keeping this on
paue--or have already decided to never hitplay.
As much as I don't take a fancy to the
addition in America's vernacular, the term
"twixter" has been coined to describe the col-
lege student/graduate who has not accent-
ed the rites of passage like parenthood
and employment. We do live in a lazy
society-and Jesse Gaccione wrote a piece
in Newsday [February 14, 2005] propos-
ing the notion that we create this inactiv-
ity ourselves. Gaccione used the new
Blockbuster "No Late Fee" policy to show
how our culture further induces and
encourages people to hold off on responsi-
bility. It's surfacing in more and more
aspects of life.
Time's article debunks the stigma
revolving around the college demograph-
ic's fickleness. Grossman covers almost
all grounds in his article regarding twix-
ters, I will avoid summarizing, and turns
the Lazy American into a misunderstood,
Si r
ntelletl 1 di -nt GC.r ma
.n writr
I By Tara Lynne Groth
right path into it."
I think this may be creating an excuse
for those in colleges; optimistically hoping that
we will fill the shoes of those before us. A
symptom of denial perhaps. What's acknowl-
edged is the reality that our society makes it
easy for the college crowd to take our time, rack
up debt through loans-some destroying credit
scores, nixing the ability to purchase a house if
so desired, enjoying ourselves and appreciating
it more knowing what the future has in store for
us. I am not including myself in the collective
as I don't fit the twixter stereotype, so by "us"
I am referring to the twixters that Grossman has
under the lens.
One problem I found with Time is the
encouragement of parents to avoid a twixter fate
for the children by not taking vacations. I don't
agree with sheltering people to create a fixed
future for them. Let people see what are world
checks coming our way (due to the predicted
deficit). Time's article grants one sentence to
this possibility.
Michael Patrick Nelson wrote a satirical
piece in his Long Island Press column address-
ing this new demographic, and I agree with his
theory that the "twixter" label is created in a
marketing conspiracy-to influence today's col-
lege group and give them a brand to include
themselves in. At first I thought the candy
company was trying to make Fat America fatter
by prescribing the college demographic a love
for Twix.
From Nelson's own experience as a thir-
ty year old suffering from twixter symptoms I
find some truth in Grossman's findings. Other
than this one example, and several I know on a
personal level, it all seems to be a farce. A
stereotype created to describe members of soci-
ety and criticize them for not striving for the
American dream This reminds me of an
essay on criticism by Matthew Arnold.
Arnold believes that [I'm paraphrasing]
great works are produced in epochs. That a
"man and the moment" is required. Aside
from the patriarchal undertones, this
asserts that a person requires the right
moment in history [or in the future] in
order to be received favorably. The only
level I can agree upon is a new way of life,
a way of thinking, of living, and it seems
that this is the time for it.
Not to continue filling the article with
other people's thoughts [even though they
provide a complementing discourse], but a
quote from Waking Life [Richard Linklater,
2001] underscores the nature of the world
we live: "Our planet is facing the greatest
rol -. emm*»
z i»*
t's e fnrP i P vpr Cd I7-h ntt r
s IL v aI
ceL everI. WIIaLLeVLi
ov3V

"...what looks like incessant, hedonistic play is
the twixters' way of trying on jobs and partners
and personalities and making sure that when
they do settle down, they do it the right way,
their way. It's not that they don't take adult-
hood seriously; they take it so seriously,
they're spending years carefully choosing the
_
M
-K*
....
is about and let them decide for themselves. you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the
With that aside, upon first skimming the most exciting time we could have possibly
article I thought Grossman would discuss more hoped to be alive. And things are just starting."
about our [college students'] future with Social Begin!
Security-how people may want to enjoy them-
selves more now and detain the norms of socie-
ty because there won't be any Social Security

E.-m ·

.....
?..
aB~'
..........

~83~s~z~L~
i: ·:

. . .
,~ :' ......
..
..
.
K .*
----,----, --- .

... .......
.. ...
.....
:
- ~!:~li........;1i
iiil
.:..
-

j:
........... ::

I I
Page 35
 i _· i __

The Final Day

- "

The last days of any job are always the

most incredible. It's as if a lover is moving to
Europe, and getting so enraptured in the
moment, you've forgotten this person was a bas-
tard. You look on all your coworkers with
benevolence. Tears envelop your eyes as you
1... 1. 11
lean uacK into mte smoKe-lacea seat.
Passengers, even the assholes, became
witty and resplendent. It's such a strange
euphoria, and in the bleacher section of
your mind, there's a voice saying, "Don't
ever come back here again."
That, and the "Darrreeellllll,"
because your mind happens to like the
Mets fan, circa 1988.
The Ronkonkoma train station
where I yell, "Taxi!!!" is not being kind to
us cab drivers. There's simply no money.
Drivers share this idea with me, along
with their theories. The most popular
theory is that people are STILL broke
from Christmas. Another is the cold
weather. I manage to avoid the annoying
lease driver, Joe Happy, but I notice a
familiar figure skulking his way around
the pseudo-town layout of the rail station.
A homeless guy named Tony, who
always tells me bad iokes, avoids me
today. It's midnight, and normally he has a
garbage bag filled with excess donuts from
Dunkin Donuts. The reason he doesn't talk to
me is for two reasons. 1. He tried to weasel a
ride to Farmingville [$15 at least] for... you
guessed it, donuts, and 2. he tried to sleep in my
van. I kicked him out, saying how I'd like to be
alone. He protested for a bit, but then tried to
weasel the cab office. If he had been looking for
a job, I would have said "Sure," but all he does
is ride the LIRR all day and stalk his girlfriend.
No thanks, I'd rather not see his unshaved face
and snaggled-tooth grin.
Here's a Tony original for all you femi-
nists: "Women: can't live with 'em, can't throw
'em in the wood chipper." I find it funny that
despite all the passengers I pick up, not one
makes me laugh with them. For my final night
driving, it's rather uneventful. That's not to
say, until it became darker.
By Tom Senkus
Strippers in mini-skirts squat down for been bulldozed. He's simply "too much." This
their breaks. Men follow. [Damnit, where is time, I came on with the mindset of out-
he?] They accost the strippers. What they don't Shanahaning Mr. Shanahan. As soon as he
know is that many are from Russia, and many opened the door, I said, "Fuck you, Mr.
have a limited vocabulary. They dance to two Shanahan!" and he smiled. That's a good sign.
universal languages: Music and Money. I like to update him on my brother, one
of his favorite drivers. On a certain New
Year's Eve, I coaxed a twenty-spot that
Shany gave me to give him for his weed. I
kept it. This time, I tell him he's joined
the Army. "He'll be dead in six months!
Six months I give 'em!" he predicts, and we
both laugh.
A cop pulled someone over, so I tell Mr.
Shanahan that we're going to give him the
finger as we go by. Even Mr. Shanahan is
a bit scared when we come up to it, but I
can tell he's having a good time. I slow up,
he goes to it, and we're off to 55. Then I
get a thought.
"We're going to make a buck," I say,
translating to: We're going to hit 100 mph
in a van on the LIE. Without even asking,
we're up to 85, when he says, "Ok,
enough," in a satisfied way.
We stop for food at an Exxon, just off of
Exit 59, and as he's leaving the car, I
deI maai t nLIIL•L
h,
«nd
t II•tdi-
at UYuy
lv I11C,
m
m
a a Ir
-aa r JIU nhv
eU .rL.
iln .
i11ies
All this time, I'm reading Henry Miller's Again he takes his sweet time. The dispatcher
Black Spring. Mentioning this would be super- gets worried. At this stage of the game, three
fluous and pretentious, but for the carpe-diem- hours left in my shift, I don't care. [Damnit,
spirit his writing induces. It makes the wait where is he?]
longer, and longer; and longer yet. [Damnit, I go in to find that the gas station atten-
where is he?!] dant is crazier than he is. Shanahan's got this
Here comes a man right now. Oh joy, it's guy jumping up and down, speaking in his
Mr. Shanahan! Wait, I've just been given the. native tongue, and trying to strike me with an

"2:00 AM"
Mr. Shanahan is a character, to say the
least. He speaks in short phrases, dynamically
loud. The glasses on his eyes are black framed
and smaller than the circumference of his eye
sockets. Looking into them is pointless; there's
only pupil. Somehow, he has one of the best jobs
working for a certain company that distributes
infrared scanning devices. On a given night,
he's prone to blow $600 on strippers. Still, he
admits he hasn't gotten laid in 5 years. He
makes everyone wait, but the wait is well worth
it. Treat him nice, and you can have $40, cash
in hand.
But it's the wait. A "Shanahan ten min-
utes" is a half-hour. The perverted men look at
the taxicab as if puzzled. "Why is he still
here," they must ponder. I feel out of place. I
look out of place, driving an Astrovan taxi,
reading a book, and laying across two seats up
front. I call the dispatcher; "Damnit, where is
he?"
"He'll be out. Just wait."
In the meantime, I'll describe some
thinigs for you. The Scene is the classiest strip
club in Suffolk County. Just off of Exit 53.
While I'm not completely sure, this one has a
dress code. [Damnit, where is he?] Young
"suits" step out, cell phone in hand. Anxious
looks, but knowing. Their eyes are titled sixty
degrees south of the horizon. The focus isn't on
anything but the conversation ini the right hand.
They pace.

Page 36
 Dud,
Dud, Wh
Where's thee'
Originality
... ..........
...
...
....
..
.........
..
.........
..........
...
..
.....
............
....................
.......................
.........................................
.............................
..
......................................
..........
......................
Have filmmakers completely
. .....
.....
......................... run out
__
...................................................
film with
__
yet
._
another remake,
Cassone
but
of original ideas? It would seem so. Today,
the next
By Sarah
was originally made in the 60's-usually the

.
..........
............................
............
............
..................
......
..............................
.................
.........................
IR.......................
.............
........
..............................
..........
................................
..............
........
...................
....................
...
.....................
............................... ..
................
..
there are three kinds of films made:
.................................................
.............
......................
................
.................
...........
.............
..................................................................................
1) Formulaic mainstream films catering to
standard norm for a remake-30 to 40 years
old. Moreover, it,'s a Kurosawa classic. The
latter is easier to understand, given the
teenage girls/boys in the form of simplistic length of time and the classic cinematic his-
comedies or horror films. tory Kurosawa carries. When one remakes a
2) Various independent ventures A.K.A. film that's only a couple of years old,
Dear Movie Trailer Voice-Over Guy,
The Good Stuff where's the passion? The beloved follow-
3) Remakes of films that were made not too ing? Does a film even have time to age; grow
There's this girl I really like, and I don't
long ago. into its own, before Hollywood comes along
think she even knows I exist. How do I approach her,
to create its own telling?
and if I do how do I get her to like me?
In the first category, one can already
- Nervous in Ontario speculate on the loss of originality. These
romantic/teen comedies are all cut from the
same mold, rarely straying from convention
Dear Nervous, and made for one sole purpose: to make
money. The third category is a recent trend
A man, plagued by fear. A woman, out of I've began to notice. There have always been
reach. And between them: an adventure you will remakes, since film was old enough to be
never forget. This summer, the journey continues for "remade," but it's only'as of late that films
one man, against all odds and obstacles. Experience less than a decade old are being remade.
the magic, the mystery, as one Canadian loser makes Constantly.
Another interesting fact is the films
his biggest mistake: talking to a girl who thinks he's
dogshit. The thrills don't stop, and the humility in question were all originally foreign
films. Wicker Park, The Ring, The Grudge,
never fails. Almost Not a Loser. For everyone who
ever thought they had a friend, and for all of us who the list goes on. This leads to the obvious
like to laugh at them. Almost Not a Loser. Coming assumption that Americans want to take
this July. something foreign and make it their own,
but better. It's that last part that never
seems to occur. Take for instance America
.Dear Movie Trailer Voice-Over Guy trying to out-do the British [really, people,
they brought us Monty Python. Why are you
I want to do something nice for the communi- even trying?]. First, there was Queer as
Folk, the quick, witty, clever show that
ty, but I don't know where to start. Is there a way for
involved in my town or with any America of course had to invert and turn it
me to become more
into a soap opera-ish melodrama. Then
charity work at all? All I want to do is help people.
Please let me know. came the Coupling remake, which lasted
about five minutes on NBC. Now, with this
- Wanting to Help in Milwaukee spectacular track record, they are attempt-
ing to re-do the Brit smash hit, The Office.
Dear Wanting to Help, Uh, good luck with that.
This mediocrity can be applied to If all of these remakes were like the
some of the films being remade, as well, but Kurosawa one, I probably wouldn't be writ-
Come see the person critics are hailing as
in this area, it's more a question of "why?"'ing this article, but the short time span
"...the stupidest fucking dipshit alive" (William
Why remake a film that is are only a few gives me pause. Remaking a three year-old
Crowe, The San Antonio Journale). Edie McKaven of
years old? Where is the originality in that? film is ridiculous. The Departed [the title
The New York Venue says, "Never before has a person
Where, even, is the passion to remake or re- of the Infernal Affairs remake] will proba-
come around with so much heart-wrenching idiocy
imagine a classic story you've always loved? bly be wonderful given its director, but
and ass-fucked idealism. It's a must-see." Everyone
Martin Scorsese's next. project is why? Where's the originality in that? In
agrees Wanting to Help is the saddest excuse for a
based on the Hong Kong success Infernal addition, why, oh why does Hollywood insist
wannabe pussy, and critics everywhere are hailing
Affairs. A film made in...wait for it...2002, on remaking Japanese horror films, one of
him as "...the cause of mass depression in the north-
and released widely this past year [it which got awful reviews, and then follow
ern hemisphere." Come see what the world is talking
recently played at The Stony Brook Winter them up with sequels?
about. Come see Wanting to Help. There will never be
Film Festival]. Scorsese is following this Well, money, of course. A sequel to
an asshole like it again.
2004's The Grudge, a movie panned by crit-
ics, is already in the works [it should be
noted the Japanese original was made in
2003]. Not only does the commercial suc-
cess of these films allow for the sequels to
be made, but it further contributes to the
amount of mediocre formulaic films being
made that have no artistic value except for
the mindless entertainment of their target
demographic.
However, there can be upside to this
lack of originality. Perhaps Hollywood
players are running out of their formulaic
film ideas and so they need to borrow from
foreign films that were made 1 to 10 years
ago. At this rate, soon there may be nothing
[recent] to remake. We can only hope the
pitchers of those generic comedies and hor-
ror films will suffer from the same problem,
leading to an increase of films from the
above-mentioned Category 2.

Page 37

The balance between epic battles and
homework can be difficult. However, Andrew
Pernick, former Press editor and current
staffer, still pens the online serial novel
Crashworld. New chapters are available at
www.andrewpernick.com every other weekend.
Chapter 16 has risen from the creative ether for
your reading pleasure.
The Stony Brook Press: So, what is Crashworld?
Andrew Pernick: Crashworld is the story of
Gana, a medieval world that is NOT Earth. 350
years before the action of the novel, an incredi-
ble, world-shattering event occurs, but no one
notices. This medieval society is forever
changed by the introductioh of Devices, pieces
of electronics about four inches tall by three
inches wide with a full-color screen and a key-
board. Devices are like Palm Pilots on speed -
they're linked to every library on the planet.
All of the sudden, virtually every citizen of
Gana has access to the sum total knowledge of
the planet. 350 years pass and this medieval-
world suddenly has 18th century (Earth-stan-
dards) technology. But the society of the world
remains deadlocked in its medieval ways -
swords and sorcery, noble royal houses, cata-
pults and crossbows, that sort of thing. A AP: Yeah. Very, very weird. That's all I can say
medieval society that has advanced exponen-
tially in. terms of technology but has remained
pretty much where it is socially. It's the story
of six people trying to save that world from an
evil technophile out to remold the world into a
technocracy .
TSBP: I notice many themes in your response.
First, it is a medieval world that is not Earth.
Why is it situated in a planet that is not Earth?
AP: If this were Earth, 'd be having all of the
Harry Turtledove [alternative history writer]
fans screaming at me for being a rip-off. Second,
I couldn't say what I want to say using the exist-
ing historical monarchies of medieval Earth -
they wouldn't fit into the story I'm trying to
tell. Third, making it my own world gives me
complete, total, .absolute control to make each
and every society and country involved exist
exactly the way I want it to; to make the socio-
logical and historical and other elements inter-
act exactly in the way I want them to. In short,
it's not Earth because by making it not Earth, I
have the freedom to do exactly what I want to do
to tell the story, to make the story work. By
making it not Earth, I get to craft a world in
which what I need to be true for my themes and
my plot IS true.
TSBP: Absolute control, freedom, and truth.
Will these concepts be key to your plot?
AP: In a sense. The villain, who hasn't been
introduced yet, will try to remake the world in
his own image, with himself in absolute control
over it. He wants to be the supreme dictator of a
technocracy. As far as freedom goes, yes. The
kingdoms and countries of my world are free-
dom loving, peaceful lands. There hasn't been a
war in centuries due to mutual respect between
the nations and mutual respect for the freedoms
of the citizens of Gana and the several nations
recognize certain inalienable rights inherent to
all.-Truth? There are certain fundamental
truths that will be key themes throughout the
novel. One is that love, not necessarily in the
romantic: s.ense, is required for stability in
friendship. Another is that: common purpose
can unite enemies. For example, the common
Page38
An Interview ith
Web-Novelist Andrew Pem iilliams
ick By Chris WA
goal shared by the protagonists unites two of the novel. The "ranger" character is an ultra-mas-
protagonists who would otherwise be at each culine, heterosexual male with a secret royal
other's throats. There are other truths, but past. The "ranger" character has become too
those are up to the reader to discover for them- much of an archetype that is set in stone.
selves. Crashworld, on the other hand, takes that role
and turns it on its ear. My "ranger" character,
TSBP: A little bit of mystery early? Lady Jamie, is very feminine, a woman, a 1 e s-
bian, and, as her name suggests, very obvious-
AP: Not exactly. It'd be impossible to go into ly royalty. She is the polar opposite of the
detail on every element of truth in any book, archetype.
and I have a bit of bias where Crashworldis con-
cerned, for obvious reasons. TSBP: Set in stone? So how will you disturb the
bedrock? How will you make your society of
TSBP: You mentioned earlier that a world-shat- Gana different?
tering event occurs but goes unnoticed. How so?
AP: First, I've made most of Gana very liberal,
AP: All I'm going to say, as I don't want to spoil politically speaking. Mildwood, the country the
anything, especially this, is that something six protagonists are from, is very much a liber-
happens one afternoon 350 years before the al country. The heir to the throne, Lady Jamie,
novel begins and it happens in such a weird is a lesbian and is engaged to a commoner, who
way, and has such weird side-effects, that it is also a woman - Sarah. Instead of the royal-
quite literally weaves its way into the minds of ty/peasants class struggle of medieval Earth,
every sentient being on the planet. They don't Gana has a middle class, especially in
notice because the event causes them not to Mildwood. Those who try to improve the Devices
notice. are called "tinkers," which brings us to the very
shy, but very competent Sally. The knights of
TSBP: I take it that it's weird. the world are not the sons of royalty. No one is
born into their job - except for the royalty,
every one is free to choose their career via an
on that. apprenticeship. Every citizen chooses which
apprenticeship they wish to take at age 12, and
TSBP: No juicy tidbits for your fans out there? they are free to switch apprenticeships at any
time. So, if you want to be a knight, you appren-
AP: Just keep reading. You'll find the answer in tice to be a knight. That brings us to Jack,
time and you'll see why I've been so "hush- Sally's lover. There is magic on Gana and anyone
hush" about the reason no one noticed the event can train themselves to learn to focus their body
350 years before the action of the novel. to use it. Zarathud, the mage, is not an old' man,
unlike Gandolf, and he's a widower, and he's not
TSBP: The number 350 pops up often. Does it the answer to every question. That brings us to
hold any special significance to you? the last of the six protagonists, Em, Sarah's
twin. She's a librarian. That's hardly a job you'd
AP: Only in that it's when the really, really find a character in a fantasy novel
..- _ .
. - .......-
- -A F -_ 1 -- . A. T -1--_ J '-.
weira eveni if doing. Gana has full'
to allow th
time to evo
be while n
der why th
so stagnant
TSBP: How
ent from oi
ed sci-fi/fa
AP: Well,
novels tenc
too novelJ
word mean
just all abo
aliens and
erations of
tasy novel
rip-offs.
TSBP: So
iconoclast,
AP: I'm tr
break the I
into tiny
pieces.
Take, for
example,
the
"ranger"
Scharacter -:··s
Tolkein ini
us via Ara.
smasculine
secret roya
 An Interview w Web-Nove list
gay rights, it has a thriving system of job choic-
es, it has a great many things that fantasy nov-
els, by and large, lack, including Devices. As
far as the set in stone aspect, the villain will be
looking to repeat the event of 350 years ago and,
in so doing, transform this still-medieval world
into a technocracy.
TSBP: Is there a supporting cast?
AP: The two major supporting cast members
come in during chapter 16. Their names are
Seika and Sonata, twin sisters who also work for
the Mildwood crown. They'll be an on-again, off-
again set of characters, used to advance the
story by explaining what is going on in Gana in
areas of the world when the six protagonists are
not in that part of the world. They're also great
fighters and will be very useful in advancing
the back-story regarding Em after she left
Sarah's side. Seika, by the way, is a very fiery
young woman, a real firecracker, and her name
is the Japanese word for "sacred flame." Sonata,
on the other hand, has a very melodic personal-
ity, very flowing and sweet and calm. I've also
got Mark and Lily Hawkins, a husband-and-wife
pair of generals in the Mildwood army. They're
both very devoted to edch other and they also
balance each other. Mark is headstrong and
stubborn while Lily is a brilliant tactician who
prefers to study her enemies and strike at the
perfect opportunity. Their names come from the
fact that Route 97 nearby has three roads in
order named Mark Trail, Lily Road, and
Hawkins. The names just hit me while I was
driving to campus one day.
TSBP: Clever. Very clever.
AP: I'm evil sometimes.
TSBP: You mentioned that love was important,
not necessarily romantic love, yet the protago-
Andrew Pemick contnued...
villiams
nists are a pair of heterosexuals and a pair of
lesbians. Is there a reason why everyone seems
to be in a romantic relationship? But then, not
everybody is, exactly.
AP: Well, there isn't enough love in the real
world. There just isn't. f decided a long time ago
that my world should be, on some levels, very
much better than Earth. So, since I've not been
in a romantic relationship in my lifetime, I fig-
ure that my characters should have the benefit
of a shoulder to cry on, a warm body to curl up
with at night, and a partner to share their heart
with. If you notice, all of members in the roman-
tic couples in Crashworldare equals with their
partners. It is the true sharing of heart and
soul, two halves coming together to form one
complete whole. As far as Seika and Sonata go,
well, I've just introduced them. Give them some
time. I want my characters to have the benefit of
something I have yet to have, to make them more
universal to my readers and more complete as
characters. Plus, it does allow me to play around
with the psychology of love and romance.
TSBP: So you're a romantic?
AP: In the sense that I want romance, yes. In the
sense that I like the 19th century Romantic
poets, yes. In the sense that the world could use
a lot more romance, of the true halves becoming
wholes and sharing themselves to become some-
thing better than their individual parts, yes. In
short, yes.
TSBP: Poetic.
AP: Thanks.
TSBP: What styles inspire your writing? Do you
try to write more from a novelist's perspective
or do you prefer lyricism?
Chris V
S4...By
AP: I try to write a very descriptive, almost
cinematic form. It's all prose, with some lyric
elements. But I prefer the novel in that I can
enter the character's heads at will and then
jump to dialog or to straight description. It's a
mix of novelist's perspective with lyricism, all
with a cinematic level of detail in that I've spent
entire chapters detailing a character's person-
ality elements and I've also spent entire chap-
ters detailing the action of a specific event. It
all depends on where I want the chapter to go
and how I want to go about doing it.
TSBP: Do you follow a specific process?
AP: I have this blue binder at home. In it is a
sheet of paper with chapter numbers and chap-
ter names (every chapter is numbered as well as
named - for example, chapter seven is also
called "Naughty"). Also in this binder is a col-
lection of pages. On each page is a complete out-
line of a chapter; what the time of day is, what
the location is, what the weather is like, which
characters are involved, the action of the chap-
ter, and quotes and possible language to use in
that chapter. I try to have a "buffer" of about a
half-dozen outlined chapter pages in that
binder so when get into "writing mode," I can
freely consult the outline. The problem is that I
wind up with many drafts that are just absolute-
ly horrible. I mean literary-crime-against-
humanity bad. Those I throw out, physically
wipe from the hard drive, walk outside and
curse myself for having so little talent. After a
few of those, I wind up with something I can live
with. That's what I edit -the something-I-can-
live-with version.
TSBP: "Literary crime against humanity?"
Brutal.

Is -~"-
· '~'""-"" I .....
--~l~
.. -"- I-- i--....
·
q
I
x .~l~~r ..........
CIC~~11- -- ----------------
1 C*~P-r
md~bpr·- ~ .r~ ~P -

K^^^^^^^^"*^K' ^^^^^miu
^ * *.r^ E
y!!
~~~
1_ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ^ Nt! 1.......
^^ L
I^f^
....
,.-~'-~·~rom.1
Low <gggjL^i^ ~ ^^ 1< IM^ 3 B
1

I
Ie's TiML To ;~
K..-.duac... ...... .. ..

~-.-.t- .....
........ .%wLpm
.. <>^orc^
i tfS^
I
.. . ........

I
I
Mr.-.. I i S..
s~
:..

--
Ito

~1Bu~suntS-3miNO

~a~a~-
. . .. .
Awttaft.

.- .
: .
-.

.
4

.. ..
.;-·''~ i4i4L~_
. III
~too" C-II::~-·-"'~ ---·
.. -·--TTl~m-·-·I---·
_~
.
_l^'il^'

1.t

.... I.. m

Page 39
 The Final Day Continued...
i...
~...
.l...
i::l..
nt q~:~~rr~g
l~:.i1
8i~::ji::
..
...
....
...
...
............
......
...
....
...
.......
...........
....
... By Tom
.....
..

Shany a sandwich, so I know this ordeal's almost

over.
He comes back, and I drop him off at the
Courtyard Marriot. When he pays, he does so
arbitrarily. There's no rhyme, or even
favoritism, unless you were memorable. He just
pulls bills from a large, steaming, juicy, awe-
inspiring, crime-inducing, envious, beautiful
wad of cash. I end up getting a whole bunch of
fives and ones; cleary, I got the crumbs from the
strippers. He leaves, and I say, "Fuck you, Mr.
Shanahan." Damnit, I'll miss him.
"4:00 AM"
Pick up at Tobin's. A young guy comes
Senkus
spews them out, one after another, thinking that
our silence is just an indifference to his supe-
rior humoristic talent. "What do you call
Buckwheat after' he converted to Muslim [he
meant Islam]? Kareem of Wheat." [Sigh.] He
doesn't even crack a smile, but stares at a face
with these feminine eyes. They're the cold,
feminine type, such as when she feels slighted.
His eyes scare me the most because we know he's
a coke addict. Mike offered me a line of coke. I
used my last excuse of "heart murmur." "I've
got one, too," he said.
Already he had paid for his fare by my
deft negotiations [a "forty" of Corona for $5], but
there's something about drugs and community.
Despite the bloodsucker nature, I don't think
there's a single druggie who fits the description

HowIi~I
out, dragging his drunken body. A good drunk of loner. Thoughts aside, he offered a few times

do ou)~
litmus test is to see if they can hobble into
raised van seat. If not, they're drunk. I ask
where he lives. "Take me to where the niggers
live." Great, a racist. "5th Avenue."
The problem with drunks is that they're
a grab bag. If you ask them to repeat something,
especially specific directions, they most likely
will get offended ["Tweeeffour" translates to
"Two Twenty Four"]. This guy turns out to be
again. "Thanks, but I have to drive," I said, and
hoped his house would come up quicker. He
kept pushing and I settled it by saying I have to
drive to the train station to try to get laid. That
shifted his mind to vicarious pleasure.
As a side note, this guy Mike holds one

prear fr ouone such douchebag. I bring him to Motor

Parkway, then I ask my dispatcher for better
directions.

co mute? The damn passenger misinterpreted that

I was 1) a taxi driver ["Are you a cop?"] and 2)
that I was picking up another passenger. I was
trying to drive him home. He tries to show me
the way home, and considering the numerous
5th Avenues of Long Island, I drive him all the
of the funniest stories in my anecdote gallery.
The old dispatcher, Danny, was popular in the
bar scene, so many people would take to his
way back to where we started. Then after going magnetic personality. One such attraction was
down Old Nichols, based on my dispatcher's new Mike. Mike, walking in from Morabito's, a bar

th
Join directions, we end up on Sunrise Highway. Bear
in mind, the entire time this ordeal is going on,
I've been racking up miles and listening to
down the street from the office, came in at 2 AM
to hang with Danny. This was looked down upon
severely by management, and in hindsight, I see

:ýCo-m
ute drunked prattle. He tries to give me life advice.
"Don't try to impress the girls, and don't-where
the fuck aaaaaare we?" At this point, my dis-
patcher is getting angry that I'm not following
his directions, my passenger is getting lost, and
I have no idea where exactly he lives.
why. In his normal fashion, he'd tell his stupid
jokes and just stare off into space. Danny's shift
ends at 6, and he leaves. Mike's still there. The
next dispatcher, John Ryan, comes in and is left
with this odd man who's perfectly content to
stare into space. Imagine doing your job, which
Frustration ensues, and remember that eupho- really consists of nothing, while a coke addict
ria I was talking about? Right in the first para- just...sits there. Considering that the taxi busi-
graph? Go ahead, read it. Read it now, because ness was so slow, John Ryan had no good reason
it's certainly gone. to really kick him out. Apparently, Mike didn't
Finally, and such a relief, we're almost leave until 11, just sitting there, staring.
there. In an odd way, he asks, "Do you have a
gun?" Thoughts of robberies, and especially a "6:00 AM"
sawed-off shotgun decapitation on Rotten.com The only highlight formed as I came to
surface in my mind. buy the grease-soaked institution of modern
I get to where he lives, and I just need toAmerican dining: the egg sandwich. As soon as
sigh. "Why you mad? You wanted to pick up I came to order my egg sandwich, the bagel
another passenger! Fucking nigger'll rob ya," lady's eyes lit up. She didn't make a complete
he says. "That'll be $24," I say in such a pained word, but more of a hybrid between an excited
voice. I want to kill the bastard, and at the same "Ooohh" and "Hello." I suddenly had this odd
time, I just want the money. Thoughts of a tip image of living in the Swiss Alps Heidi-style
are already gone. He hands me two twenties, and and her making dinner as I stand on the edge of
when I hand him back the change, he counts it a cliff, axe in hand, red flannel shirt with beard
with an air of suspicion. There's no tip. and suspenders, knowing that here-oh yes-here
I'm relieved, but as all egotists need to was a woman [a real woman] to care for every
do, they must have the final word. simple need, most especially, to make love with
"Why are you giving me an attitude?" a woman as only a Romanian can in the Swiss
I drive back, lost in suburban shithole Alps, regardless of geographical concerns until
Brentwood. My favorite dispatcher got fired, so passing out in our self-made cabin, smelling
now I no longer had a decent hook-up nor .a good sweetly of rosemary, ginger, and lovemaking...
direction-giver. The new dispatcher pestered We exchanged simple greetings, and I noticed a
me for location. I didn't know, but I was just benevolent off-white smile in between the ques-
outside of the LIE. This went on every minute. tions like, "Do you want anything on it," spoken
I found myself getting angrier. "I'll turn you in such a lustrous Romanian accent. It was hard
into a cab driver'yet," he quipped, and all I to leave.
could think of was "Now why would I want to I had called one of my friends with my
become an absolute failure like you for?" I held new cell phone, but she seemed standoffish
off. about something or another. Perhaps she could-
n't possibly imagine what this night was all
"5:00 AM". about, but Corona, cigarettes, and egg sandwich
Mike, a regular. He has a way of telling in haid, I certainly did.
jokes that simply aren't amusing. Inebriated, he
 An Interview with Web-Nove list
- · - -I
AP: You should have seen the first draft of the
first chapter. It would have made you cry. There
are things I write that are quite literally the
"suck" portion of my brain taking over the cre-
ative centers of my brain. It's not harsh. It's the
truth. I've written parts or entire chapters that
would make the most jaded reader cringe. They
really are crimes against humanity. That's why
I burn them and wipe the hard drive - that way,
there's no way they'll ever see the light of day.
It happens about once every three chapters or
so. Then again, I am my harshest critic.
TSBP: I tend to have a strong stomach.
AP: Not for this. It really is that bad.
TSBP: Since it's now in oblivion, I'll have to take
your word for it.
AP: That's the whole idea of the hard drive wipe
- permanent deletion.
TSBP: How do you keep your fans interested?.
AP: Well, the first thing I do is try my best to
make sure there's a new chapter on-schedule as
often as possible. I also, from time to time, put
up something on the "Goodies" page - a map of
the world, an analysis of an anime, something
cool for them to enjoy. I try to make sure they
have fresh content that pushes the sci-fi/fanta-
sy envelope and that is designed to keep their
attention for as long as possible. It's why I edit
so much - to make sure that what I give my fans
is what the story demands and what the fans
will enjoy.
TSBP: How did you go about getting your fan-
base off the ground? With all of these goodies,
are you often found through Google?
AP: I have indeed 4been "Googled." My first fans
were my six closest friends. After that, I made
a post to a Wiccan newsgroup on USENET. I also
told people in The Press office. Crashworld
spread to the point where it is now, 225 regular
readers, through word of mouth: I get maybe 5%
of my readers through Google, the rest through
word of mouth.
TSBP: Have you received international acclaim?
AP: Do I have readers outside the US? Yes. I
have readers in the US, Canada, England,
Scotland, Wales, Australia, New Zealand,
Iceland, Holland, Germany, The Philippines,
and Argentina.
Andrew
II
Pemick continued..
TSBP: No Africa?
AP: Not yet.
TSBP: Do you advertise?
AP: Only the free ad The Pressputs in the bot-
tom of some pages in their issues, and this
interview. I'd love to interview on
MegaTokyo.coni or SomethingPositive.net, but
they both cost $150 for 7 days of advertising,
and that's out of my price range. $300 for one
week of advertising? I'd love to advertise, but I
just can't afford it.
TSBP: Have MegaTokyo and Something Positive
inspired you-?
AP: MegaTokyo has inspired me in a way that
readers will not see for many chapters. In chap-
ter fourteen, Sally is described in Jack's mind
in a way that sounds very much like Piro's
affinity for "Sad Girls in Snow." Something
Positive's Aubrey and PeeJee have kind have
molded their viciousness into Sarah's dark side,
especially where her hatred for her sister is
concerned. You'll see more of that as things
progress. The MegaTokyo inspiration isn't a
one-time thing, either. By the way, if anyone
knows Piro or R.K. well enough to get them to
give me free advertising..
TSBP: Are fans of MegaTokyo and Something
Positive usually fans of Crashworld?
AP: My fan-base comes from fans of role-play-
ing games (tabletop, pen-and-paper, and the
Square Soft style), anime, fantasy novels, web-
comics, that sort of thing. So, yes, MegaTokyo
and Something Positive fans probably would
love Crashworld. As far as whether there is any
actual crossover, I don't know yet.
TSBP: Has anyone famous read your novel?
AP: Two, in fact. Carrie Savage and Zarah Little.
TSBP: Really?!
AP: Do you know who they are?
TSBP: No.
AP: They're both voice actresses famous for
doing the English-language dubs of anime
series. Zarah Little emailed me out-of-the-blue
one day since her name is mentioned in the
Author's Introduction. She and Carrie Savage
were drunk one night and Googled themselves
one night and found my page. They're now regu-
By Chris Williams
lar readers! Carrie Savage voiced "Rakka" in
Haibane Renmei, she voiced my favorite charac-
ter in 'my favorite anime series! Zarah Little
voiced "Kana" in the same series. They both are
regular readers! They absolutely rock!
JSBP: You're dedicated to your novel. Does
Crashworldinterfere with your academics?
AP: No. I make time to write, usually on week-
ends at night. Once the schoolwork is out of the
way, I write. Unfortunately for my readers,
schoolwork takes a priority to my novel. It has-
n't interfered yet and I don't see it interfering
in the future.
TSBP: What future do you see for Crashworld?
AP: Well, I'm saving up to advertise on
MegaTokyo and Something Positive. In the
future, I see many readers, emailing me and all
having a great time reading the :-ovel and look-
ing forward to new chapters. In an ideal future,
the novel will take off and become popular and
I'll be a guest at conventions. But in the real
world, I just see Crashworldgrowing slowly but
surely in popularity and eventually the novel
will end. Who knows what will happen? I just
hope that I'11 always be able to keep the fans
interested and looking forward to new chapters.
TSBP: Do you want to see Crashworldin print?
AP: Depends on what is involved. If it entails
changing even one aspect of one character, mak-
ing even one thing PC, then no. If all that is
involved is some polishing up, sure. But this is
still very unlikely, if not impossible. No one in
the publishing community would take a chance
on it, I bet. Plus, I love the instant interaction
with fans the Internet allows. In print, I'm
removed from that. For now, I prefer it being
online.
TSBP: Well, there is delayed gratification in
book signings.
AP: Yes, but it isn't the same as being able to
chat with fans for as long as you want the email
to be. A book signing is like a deli counter -
stand on line, get the book signed, talk for like
five seconds with the author, and leave. With the
Internet, it's far more personal, hard as that is
to believe.
TSBP: I'll have that answer with a pickle. Thank
you, Andrew.
AP: Thank you, Chris.
Special Thanks To Chris Lonardo.

- Year
Amid snow, sunlight and cymbals, a
shimmering pair of lions lay dormant. They
align themselves next to a large, metallic drum
and await awakening. People circle them as a
soft breeze rustles their hairy feathers. A in China, conjured images of India and
smiling face tells an ancient story.
The day is Chinese New Year 2005.
Outside of the Student Activities Center, the
lion dance team stretches. Students mill around
in anticipation. Winston Liao, the lion dance
team coach, approaches the large drum. With
that cue, dance teammates enter the elaborate
skins of the lion costumes. The costumes shake
and rise. Then, the drum is beaten. With each
pound, the lions rise higher and dust off the
remnants of sleep. They rear with a silent roar.
Their eyes snap to life.
The crowd slows as the lions march. The
deep bass of the drum follows, and the twang of
cymbals floats. Donning a traditional, smiling
Buddha mask, a figure waves a bamboo thatch
fan and dances before the lions. A crowd watch-
es, and camera phones capture the spectacle.
The lion dance team advances.
Teammates push the drum. As they step, the
lions stomp to the rhythm. The white lion is
shy. It strolls with softer steps as it bobs
through the throng of students. However, the
black is bold: It whips its head. It throws
glances. It rises to meet others face-to-face.
Danny Ng, the president of the Stony
Brook Lion Dance Club, was fascinated with lion
Page 2
Cck-a-SBU ,or
-- of the Rooster Lion Dai ice
By Chris Williams
dance as a child. He wants to use lion dance to marches, a parade develops. Crowds of people
promote Asian culture. flow around them and ripple into onlookers.
The story of lion dance overlaps many Some people swim through the crowd behind the
cultures. It is a story about empires of antiqui- team.
ty, In his book The Golden Peaches of The team proceeds. They descend the
Samarkand, Edward Schafer describes the stairs. The lions pulsate with life as they await
tumultuous relationship between the Chinese the drum to motivate them. Danny later
and their surrounding peoples during the Tang describes the drum as the "heartbeat" of the
dynasty (618 C.E. - 907 C.E.) Although foreign- lions. The lions go forward. The crowd wanes.
ers were often met with resistance, exotic gifts The drums boom. The cymbals resonate. The
from foreign lands were readily accepted. destination lies ahead: the Charles B. Wang
According to Prof. Sucheta Mazumdar of Duke Center.
University, the lion was a gift from Persia The lions finally reach the Wang Center.
(Samarkand) to the Tang royal court in 635 C.E. They stir to a stop. The music ends. The illu-
The lion was so well received by Emperor T'ai sion dissipates with applause. The teammates
Tsung that he ordered the scholar-poet Yii Shih- leave their lion skins and enter the Wang
nian to compose a rhapsody in its honbr.
o
In general, the lion captivated the imag-
ination of the Chinese of the Tang period. The
lion commanded an awe-inspiring presence. It
was a West Asian animal spiritually akin to the
tiger, the emblem of the West Asia. Its opposite
was the dragon of East Asia.
The power of the lion extended beyond
the physical and the spiritual. Its aura made it
the muse of artists and the treasure of collec-
tors of the ninth century. It became a religious
symbol, also. Similar to the elephant, the lion,
Buddhism. According to Schafer, its roar was
symbolic of the voice of the Buddha instructing
beings of all universes in his law. In some ver-
sions of the lion dance, there is a Buddha figure,
as portrayed by a masked actor in monk attire.
This Buddha figure dances in front of the Lion
and teases it with a head of lettuce, a symbol of
good fortune. The lettuce would be eaten by the
lion during the dance. The exact origin of this
version is difficult to determine. During the
Tang Dynasty, many types of public perform-
ance developed. Lion dance was one type and
assumed many forms. Although the lion pos-
sessed many forms as a dance, it' was one unify-
ing symbol of royal power in West and central
Asia. It gradually emerged as a symbol of royal
power in China. Eventually, the magnitude of
the lion symbol grew. According to China
Central Television (CCTV), the symbol of the
awakened lion is a metaphor of the Chinese Center.They are visibly tired.
nation. (CCTV is China's largest national TV The time of rest for some is a time of
network.) practice for others. In the restaurant Jasmine,
Through lion dance, Danny Ng also pro- Winston instructs a teammate in the rhythm to
motes Asian awareness. With assistance, he be played. They alternate in tapping the large
started the official lion dance club last semes- drum. Ali Mehrabian, a sophomore, briefly saw
ter. However, the start was its own journey. their next performance. He said, "People were
Winston Liao already owned a lion head and into it. They were dancing with them [the lion
costume. A second lion was dancers]."
required. After weeks of The occasion ends with a solo drum per-
searching, a handful of deter- formance by Winston Liao. Some people scream,
mined individuals found their "Go Winston!" He goes into a strong opening.
second lion in Chinatown. Lions Among the General Tsao's chicken and the chan-
don't come cheap. They pooled na masala, he pauses; The audile void is filled
their money together and bought with the response of "Oy!" Patrons pause in
it, and the accompanying equip- their eating and watch. Winston throws his
ment. Danny mentioned that the drumsticks in the air. Ea&ch successful catch
team has shown camaraderie leads to the conclusion and applause.
and dedication. Regardless of Winston later mentioned that the theme
the stress involved, they enjoy of the occasion was "mixing past arid present."
performing, too. For Chinese New Year 2005, the lion dancers
They performed at an introduce a tradition centuries old to an unsus-
elementary school in Flushing, pecting people. Their memorable spectacle
Queens in January. Shortly helped people to smile.
afterward, they performed for a Lion dance is available to men and
campus sorority. Chinese New women as dancers and spectators. The Stony
Year 2005 marks their third Brook Lion Dance Club always welcomes new
performance. They will perform members. For more information, Danny Ng can
at China Night 2005. be e-mailed at danng@ic.sunysb.edu.
S For Chinese New Year . Happy New Year!
2005, as the lion dance team
 Od

i I"
I..-

S...... .........
..... ........
.....
^^~^
J^t ^H '* ^^^^~^^b ^^MH^H: **li

BUT YOU CAN CHANGE THAT

low
JOýwi SBs...U.-...T 20
r f A P
CA• PL RIaiND.
or ir 0l 04 NTHK"UN"O"ASENt
0K
:.
,o~re A 5 r s.UNR .EUWZ
a:ri-U •©,•::•~Su~;s.su.
BmI IC "•
~· · · L Emft-
rage 4
 : ·-L
It all started Thursday evening, before
the con, with a knock on the door conjoining our
room with the one next to us. "Can we come in,
it sounds like you guys are having fun," said a
voice coming from behind the door. After a
quick approval nod from my roommates I decid-
ed to open the door-a decision which I regret,
now. In the beginning, the couple that walked
through the door seemed fairly normal...or at
least as normal as anyone that attends an anime
convention could be. They sat down, asked us
questions about- our costumes, mentioned that
they are engaged, spoke some general anime-
geek talk with us...nothing too out of the ordi-
nary. My only hint at this point that something
was funny about them was a slowly emanating
shit-smell that I had first thought to be my
imagination. But alas, the odor got stronger as
time passed.
Page 44
I -· -I
Bizarre
--
---Notmaking much of it, one of my room-
mates hung out with them on and off throughout
the next day. Lunchtime came Friday afternoon,
my roommate joined them for a car ride along
with another person they met to get some grub.
The seating arrangement was as follows: the new
friend driving, my roommate in the passenger
seat and the couple in the back. Halfway
Sthrough the ride, to his surprise, and utter-dis-
gust, my roommate noticed some backseat-fel-
lating going on. These people actually got mad
when my friend yelled, "Not cool!" He got away
as quickly as possible, came back to the room to
tell us this, and the fact that they have only met
each other twice. Yep! You guessed it, an online
relationship
After hearing this, we attempted to avoid
them at all costs. Of course, somehow they man-
aged to disgust us one last time. After one of the
Neighbors
~
costume groups I was in, I came back to my room
to relax on the bed for a while. What better way
to massacre the silence than the sound of these
two moaning and groaning next door. I attempt-
ed to put an end to what was going on in that
room by letting out, very loudly, one of my
patented elephant trumpet noises. Freakishly,
and somehow, expectedly, the sex sounds just
got louder and faster after the animal sounds. I
got the hell out of there as fast as I could and
didn't re-enter my room for another hour.
So, why are these people such shit-don-
keys? Some of the people who show up to anime
conventions cannot separate fantasy from reali-
ty (i.le my next door neighbors' fantasy internet
relationship). It just goes to show how crappy
our society really is. When people would rather
live a lie than live life to its fullest, there is a
big problem.
('r+I c umc
v ~At. mr~ic~An C

Page 45
 ·II
g

S50 Tuition Hike

Withholding 50% of TAP
ELIMINATION of EOP Direct Aid
AUTOMATIC Annual Tuition Hikes

IL-

rc~!lllll~~CI~1

take simple direct action that

WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE
and learn more about our higher eed campaign
as well as our work on other issues such as:
the environment I election day registratiDn ! sweathops

Page 46
I

Reporter's Privilege and Conflict of Inter
- -- --
We are at a very serious and frightening,
moment in American history. Americans have
no concept any more of what journalism really
means, who is a journalist, and just how diffi-
cult and dangerous the job can be. I'm not just
talking about correspondents in Iraq, I'm refer-
ring to the guy who writes a story about an
influx of drug dealers in a small town, and sud-
denly turns up dead in the river. The
Committee to Protect Journalists [www.cpj.org ]
is an important organization. I wish you all
would take a moment to visit, so you can see the
facts regarding the dangers of journalism. We
think that Bill O'Reilly and Al Franken are
journalists. Even worse, we attack actual jour-
nalists whenever they print material that does-
n't sit well with what we think we know and
wish were true.
D.C. Federal court ruled recently that
two reporters in the Valerie Plame case were not
protected by the First Amendment, and must
reveal their sources in a court of law or go to
jail. Many news sources are reporting both on
the Plame case itself, and the court ruling
regarding reporter's privilege. If you want
more information on the Plame case, Google
News is a fantastic place to start. It's also got a
good selection of pieces written regarding the
reporter's privilege ruling.
What I'd like to mention here is the fact
that there is hope for journalists. Right now in
Congress, there is a bill sponsored by the
RTNDA [www.rtnda.org] would actually imple-
ment a federal shield law. For those of you who
didn't read my last piece about shield laws,
they are the laws that many states have enacted,
protecting a journalist's rights, and the right to
not reveal confidential sources. More informa-
tion on that can be found here:
www.rcfp.org/privilege/.
While I would like to see the people who
exposed Plame punished for. their actions; I do
not believe that a reporter should be held in
prison for doing his job. We have the freest
press in the world, and I'd like it to stay that
way.
Moving on to the topic I had originally
intended to write about for this episode, we have
the concept of conflict of interest. It's been the
Joumalistic Ethics:
By Dustin Herlich
case time and time again in history that power-
ful figures gained power through their use of
the press; either by directly controlling it (as
in the case of Mussolini), or by simply being
artful enough to garner the right kind of.pub-
licity like the "Governator." Conflicts of inter-
est can be a serious issue on all sides, and it
should not be taken lightly.
It is unethical for a governmental offi-
cial, especially if this person is elected, to have
any hand in the American press and the report-
ing of news; particularly if the news story deals
with an issue the official is working on, or in
some way involved with. No stories about your-
self either. If said official wants to have special
shows or columns where the official gives his
commentary and opinion, that's allowed, but
don't try to pass it off as NEWS. Bill O'Reilly is
not news; he's a pundit, a commentator, and a
poor journalist who lives up to no standard I
have ever seen. If he called himself what he is,
I would respect him more.
In the microcosm of Stony Brook
University we often find that the only students
actually involved are the same ones, who are
part of many different organizations. This is a
problem because there simply are not enough
people to go around and fill all the spots equal-
ly. The Co-Host of my show is both a member of
student media and student government. Ideally,
you could only be a member of one of these
organizations at a time, but again, we are not
under ideal or even truly real world conditions
at Stony Brook. It then becomes paramount that
the person separates his or her actions from
within one organization to the actions in anoth-
er. The more hats, you wear, the harder this
gets.
at
In the "real world" a reporter must stay
out of any conflicts or demonstrations he or she
may covering. As I had said in a recent Student
Media Council meeting, if a reporter is imbed-
ded with a Marines patrol unit in Afghanistan,
and suddenly picks up a rifle and starts shoot-
ing, this person is no longer a reporter, but a
combatant. The rules change, and they would be
instantly be stripped of any rights as a member
of the media.
This is especially difficult for college
students who may be covering protests, because
chances are that if you are covering a protest at
this level it's because you really want to be
there alongside these people in the first place.
You can absolutely report on your experience
As a protestor or combatant, etc, etc; but if you
are identifying yourself solely as a journalist,
you must remain a journalist and simply record.
Again, this is the ideal. Reality is often differ-
ent, and many journalists have been beaten and
arrested alongside protestors, even if they have
clearly marked themselves as being there sim-
ply to observe.
Conflict of interest is usually not hard
to identify. If you feel you may be in a position
to have a conflict of interest, try and look at it
from an outside perspective. If you were a vic-
'tim of horrible rashes because of tainted
aspirin, would you really be the best person to
write a story on the case, or are you better off
contributing to someone else's story?
Sometimes a person is able to be objective and
add insight that might otherwise go unnoticed to
a piece, but other times personal bias really
does detract from the piece.
Is what you- are involved with directly
interfering with, or somehow affecting your
ability as a reporter? There are times when a
story hits too close to home to cover. You're bet-
ter off passing the story on to someone else in
this case, and contributing as a member ofthe
public. Knowing what a good interview should
sound like, you may very well become one of the
star witnesses in a case. Use your skills as a
reporter at all times to your advantage, but
remain neutral and always seek absolute fact in
your own work.
 DE 7TH EESDIVE S E
FLun-nB lE P171

Word Pentagram!
The following five words can be found in the word
pentagram below. Place the letters of these words
into each of the circles so that all five words fit.
The words for this hellish installment are:

DROP
DELL
TREE
TOIL
PILE
1. Beach Boys hit calling all to go 1. When the victim is the saiime the
surfin now ..... lII murderer
12. Commercial . iii 2. Beatle's hit "Back in the "
14. "The ~ Suspects"
. ....
.....
:.:.....::
3.- Harlot of Dion hit you are avised
.:.
:..
15. Middle Eastern Salad to keep away from ...
17. Conjunction with 'is' 4. Movie starring Dom Delouise
18. " be or not be" 5. Land of Lincoln
19. Hotel 6. Rolling Seussalphapuzzle
20. Howard. 7. Where nobody knows your nrime Looks like a crossword, but isn't. Each number in the boxes
22. and burning . 8. Institution of snoopy agents
25. Something typically required to 9. Steak sauce brand below represents a letter of the alphabet. Use what you
succeed as a student 10. Last song on Rubber Soul know about the English language (or in this case the titles
26. Those cheering at a football game 11. State where you may find th of Dr. Seuss' books) to solve the code! You have been
28. Suffix with beat and peace Windy City
29. Simon and Garfunkel. eg. 13. Sam Cooke hit"
provided with several letters below. Good Luck!
AboutHi••ry"
31 Walk Leisurely 16. Biting wit A B C D E F G- H I J-K L':M N 0 P Q R S T U V- W X Y Z
32. Fabric with a satin-like ••she 18 Member of the Jackson 5
2Q '3 - 9
34. Avoid 21. A constellation 1 4 s5 6 "7 8 G 10 11 12 13
36. Cries of a donkey 23. Simon and Garfunkel hit" i 14 -15 16 V 17 18 19 20 21p 22 23 24 25
26

38. One of two responses ... Bound"

39. Doesn't know 5 24. Swimming and diving birds of the
42. Dirty or dirt .* . family Podicipedidae: 25
44. A relative measure of age 27. City in New York, abbr. ..i1..!|.
45. Rds. and ways 30. Wailed loudly .i!. ;
46. _jus 33. " lay me down to sleeiip"ii 17 .2 1

47. What room and bloom have i 35. If repeated, a possible bab's first
common . :: word?
48. Rapper who is Illmatic and. 37. Quickly! ,
Stillmatic ..... 40. Club where geeks played with
49. Daytime talk guru slide in high school
50. "And you?" in Milan ..:.:. .,.: 41. List of names , . 13
20 2 7 1. 2 1211 2 22020
51. Aisle of the supermarketihe.re 43. Willie :of Death of a Salesman
you can find some cheese i . 44. __ fits all .iIi!' 511 20 12, 11u 11B20d.23226 oo .02 20
54. Big -- ' ill 49. vey
56. "If I haven't it, it's new to me!" 52. Surrounding energy ' .
58. "Born in the_"_ 53. Bug killing spray brand i.iiiii .
59. Capital of Saudi Arabia
61. . ego. superego ...
62. Having to do with the mrin atery
55. He who puts two and twtE gether
57. Hitler's party
60. Japanese currency
a02
.620 2 17174 11
3,
64. Take care of (with "for") 63. Osbourne and Lee Harveyv,
65. Brit comedian Eddie . . 65. Intravenous, abbr. ...
66. Barbie's boy toy i 66. Quick end to a fight ;
67. Short album 68. The circumference dividled bythe
69. The King diameter of any circle
:70. Yes?

Put
toBed
2.22.20
71. Onassis by Ann Pashenkov
All puzzles