Mystery Method Updated To Year 2013 Attraction - Comfort - Sex

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05-18-2013, 06:52 PM
Mystery Method Updated to Year 2013 -
[All-in-One] Attraction - Comfort - Sex
Announcement: This is long. Read the first paragraphs and
then pick the headline you want to read something about.
Read what you need to improve on. Re-Read it after you have
tried it. Ask questions. Become a better man. Or at least look
at the pictures!
Mystery Method Updated to Year
2013
Attraction - Comfort - Sex
Disclaimer (Autumn 2012): I wanted to write this for over a year
#1
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Germany
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Aima
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Mystery Method Updated to Year 2013 - [All-in-On... http://www.pua-zone.com/showthread.php?8751-...
1 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
now! The original Mystery Method (MM) got criticized a lot (both on
old mASF and here on fasterseduction). While some call it way too
slow or too theoretical the biggest argument has always been
that it turnes people into social robots.
I will address all those points in my post and want to show you, that
the idea and the system are still up to date and that by
understanding it lots of people could get laid much faster and (most
important) smoother.
In the german pickup community the Mystery Method is still pretty
big and popular, and Ive seen many guys getting huge success
with it. Im talking about fast lays, daygame, nightgame, etc. I
myself get laid very consistently since I learned this, so I want to
share it with you guys who helped me so much since three years
ago when I entered your community.
The idea behind the Mystery Method
First off all: In my eyes the name Mystery Method is not a good
term. It should much rather be called the Mystery Theory, since
the origin of the Mystery Method is not to give people a guideline
as what they have to do (aka no walkthrough of seduction). Its
much more a theory of how seduction happens in the real world
and how naturals (= people who never learned to pick up girls but
are still successful at doing so) are seducing women.
In other words the idea is to look at what successful people are
doing, understanding the system (that often the naturals
themselves have not understood) and apply it to achieve the same
(or more).
On social Robots and Routines
The original write up of the MM is full with so called Routines. A
Routine (often also called canned material) is something specific
that you do or say in a certain situation.
Examples:
Have you ever
- said Hi, Im xxx to a hot girl (Opening Routine)
- told someone about something funny that happened that day in
your life (Story-Routine)
- gave a girl a spin (Kino-/Compliance-Routine)
Now in the old book most people misunderstood the idea of
routines. They thought they just had to say the things that were
outlined in the book (= using the right routines) and they would
get girls into bed! The result were lots of people running around
and asking girls Who lies more, men or women? (An Opinion
opener that was recommend in the original book not very useful
for most people, see below) . Doesnt sound very smart, right? Well
people believed in that shit back in the old days! It went even
worse: After not getting laid from saying Who lies more? they
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thought they had to follow up with some other things to say and
used another routine. Some people tried to memorize routines for
every situation possible in a dialog (e.g. What to say when she
says yes or no gives answer A or answer B,C,D, etc.).
The ideas behind routines is a pretty different one. The goal is not
to use the words that Mystery used or the words that any other
famous player XYZ uses. Depending on your character and the
person you are YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR OWN (!) ROUTINES! I
get laid saying shit that wont work for most people, and many of
my buddies do or say some stuff that just woudnt work for me
people wouldnt believe me! And neither of us thinks about the shit
we say, but we trap ourselves saying stuff again and again that we
have used successfully in the past.
Attention: Im not saying its wrong to use other peoples routines in
general, but you always have to ask yourself if this routine would fit
your personality (= are you congruent with what you say?). Many
beginners have not thought about that they were just unhappy
with their life in general and tried to copy someone more
successful. What they didnt understand was that it would have
been much smarter to COPY THE SYSTEM BEHID THE WORDS
INSTEAD OF THE ACTUAL WORDS BEING SAID!
The Phases of a successful sedution
In his original theory Mystery said that a successful seduction can
be broken down into smaller parts (=phases). In his eyes there
were three attraction-phaeses (A1, A2, A3), three comfort phases
(C1, C2, C3) and three sexual phases (S1, S2, S3).
While for Mystery the phases were separated pretty strictly, we
believe nowadays that the line between those phases is fluent.
Often it is better to move forward or backwards in phases or keep
element of earlier phases active during the whole seduction! I will
give concrete examples below, as Im going to describe the
different phases.
Opening (A1)
The main assumption behind opening is that in the beginning you
are (in her eyes) having less value than she has. She is hot and
good looking, gets approached by a bunch of guys and has guys
texting her all the time, guys are nothing special, so why should
you be special?
That is your starting point!
Now you know the saying there is only one chance to make a
good first impression thats just what we want to do: Make a
good first impression. But thats all. Many guys think they have to
win the set over with the opener! HELL NO!! We know that she
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thinks your value is lower than hers and therefore we are prepared
for that. You see, all the opener is really for is giving us the (best
possible) chance to move to the next step (raising our value).
General guidelines:
- 3 second rule
- Tilt head to the side
- Speak loud and clear, suiting the situation
- Good posture (like a man!)
- If in doubt: Indirect opener
- Some guys recommend opening with your body not facing the
target
Example:
Aima walking from one dancefloor to another, 2 girls are coming
from the opposite dancefloor.
Aima: Hell noooooooo, you guys dont want to go there!!!!
(Situational Opener)
HBs: wtf??? Smiling
Aima: They play the good music right over there (pointing to the
dancefloor they are coming from) Here they only play Backstreet
Boys all the time, and I know you guys HATE the Backstreet Boys
(False cold read)
HBs: Noooo, we looooooove the Backstreetboys (reacting on
false cold read)
How do I open which sets?
- Only females -> open ugly girl first
- Male in the set -> open male first
- big group -> big groups normally device into small sub-groups
(aka not every is talking with everyone)! Pick a subgroup and treat
it like a normal set.
A2 (Female to male attraction)
Now I told you that when you are opening the girl thinks her value
is higher than yours. If you have done the opening good you may
already have build some attraction (mostly with your body
language), but hopefully you have (at least) bought yourself some
time. In the next phase (A2) you want to concentrate on raising
your value (in her eyes). To be more concrete, you want to raise
your relevant value towards her, meaning you either have to raise
your value (DHV = Display of higher value) or you have to lower
her value (DLV = Display of lower value in the meaning of
recognizing something about her that lowers her value (be careful
with these!)). By raising your value she will become attracted to
you! This is because people in general (males and females) like to
find a sexual partner that has higher value. (Value does not mean a
higher position in society or more money value means much
more!)
In other words you can say that attraction is nothing else but having
4 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
high (higher) value (from her point of view).
While the original MM mostly concentrated on creating attraction
with words, todays methods offer a much wider spectrum of things
you can do! Think of anything you can create attraction with this
is the point to use it!
Some tools are
- DHV-stories (included because its the biggest part of the old
MM)
- Delivery / Congruence (same)
- Kino escalation (very big today)
- Passing shit-tests (see below)
DHV-stories
To understand the idea of displaying higher value you first want to
understand what kind of things are of value (=attractive) in her
eyes. While this is obviously something that is different from
women to women, here are some things that many women are
attracted to
- Preselection (= There are other women in your life, you treat them
good, you are showing unneedyness and eventually make her a
little jealous)
- Social Proof (= You have many friends, many people love you and
therefore you cant be that bad of a guy, but must be a pretty cool
guy on the other hand)
- Leader of man (= Being the so called alpha other men look up
to you and would like to experience/ live your life, like to hear your
stories, etc.)
- Protector of loved ones (= You protect the people you care about
and you show the girl that she can trust you, she can feel save and
secure around you)
- Stability (=You have a life and goals , you have either motivation,
ambition or a job/financial security)
- Confidence (= being yourself and standing your man, but in the
most positive way, you do what you want but you are reasonable
(see below))
- Being reasonable (= Having reasons for the things you are doing
in your life, not doing anything bad without having a reason, etc.)
Now the first five of those above are the so called Attraction
Switches. Imagine them like a light switch they can either be
turned on or turned off. What you want to do is turn on as many of
those switches as possible, but once a switch is turned on, you
dont need to focus on this switch anymore.
5 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
That is a common mistake that many beginners do, they are for
example already preselected in her eyes but keep going and going
about how many women will want to fuck them. No matter how
subtle he does it, she will not understand why he displays that
again and again and may eventually start thinking of it as bragging!
Bragging is something lower value people do therefore your
value will sink even though you tried to do the right thing! So turn
on a switch and move to the next!
So how do you implement those DHVs in your game? Certainly not
by bragging!
Preselection
Bad example: Im having a lot of sex!
Good example: HB talking about whatever Aima: Haha, I know
what youre talking about! Lately my bed is squeaking, I should
really repair that! When shes asking how you know that, just use a
false disqualifier (= what? Noooo, Im still a virgin, what do you
think of me?).
Social Proof
Bad example: I know a lot of people
Good example: Use peoples names in your story and wave your
friends, have them come over to say hi, etc.)
Leader of man
Bad: Everyone wants to hear my opinion
Good: On Thursday I have another presentation for my guys I
had to promise them!
Delivery / Congruence
Mystery talked a lot about delivery and congruence. What he
meant was that the stuff that you do and say must fit your character
(congruence) or at least must seem like its fitting your character
(because you delivered the routine like someone with a fitting
character would).
Many people look at the routines that Mystery used and ask
themselves How the fuck could that work? If I would say stuff like
that, people would laugh at me and give me weird looks!
6 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
Now what you have to understand is the following: When Mystery
entered a room, most people were looking at him, because he was
1. very tall and 2. was wearing crazy shit to draw attention to
himself (peacocking). People would open him all the time just
because he looked like some guy from another world. If you have
that in mind, you can understand how saying the stuff he said could
actually attract women!
Now Im pretty sure you are not like Mystery, you are more normal I
guess (at least I am). So now you have to think on what YOU can
say or do that works for YOU in YOUR SITUATION to create
attraction. Mystery found his routines, you have to find your
routines! You will recognize that some stuff fits your character (=
congruence) and you will also recognize that you get better the
more you use your routines (= your delivery gets better and you will
seem even more congruent).
A few hints to help you improve the delivery:
- Dont move too frantically
- Point out the hook line of your story THAT was BY FAR the
SICKEST THING that EVER happened to me in the subway!
- Use breaks
- Use your hands to underline what you say
- Imitate peoples voice when talking about them
- Try to make the story as lively as possible
Why do I give hints on your delivery? Because even if you talk
about something that happened to you (= a story you are very
congruent with, because it happened to you) you do still want to
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deliver the story in a way that people have fun listening! (= good
delivery).
Bad: I once worked at the set of CSI Miami, it was fun.
Good: You know CSI Miami? You will NEVER BELIEVE how they
actually shoot those scenes!! (and then you go on!)
Escalation:
See this great post of Warped Mindless (http://www.pua-zone.com
/showthread.p...calation-Guide) in the Hall of Fame.
Dont think escalation is as unimportant, it is most important! But
escalation by itself is such a big topic and some much smarter
people have written up their stuff already, no need for me to do
that! Take any good post about escalation (not only physical
escalation but also escalation of the vibe) and apply the stuff!
Passing shit-tests
A shit-test is a thing the girl says or does to test the males
willpower. Most often the woman wants to see how far can I go
with him? or tries to press the male into a lower value position
(therefore raising her own relative value).
Basic examples:
Do you do that often? I mean pick up girls (Trying to lower your
value)
You just want to have sex, I can see that! (Also trying to lower
your value)
Would you buy me a drink? (Would he do that for me? Does he
like me that much already? Have I done enough to own that drink,
or is he just trying to buy himself into my pants?)
Now shit-tests are very special when it comes to creating attraction,
and thats why I (and many other experienced players) love them
so much: A shit-test is like a fork in a road! After a shit-test you will
either have more attraction (if you pass the shit-test) or you will
have less attraction (if you fail to pass).
For me girls that do shit-test a lot are by far the easiest targets,
because they will shoot one shit-test after another at you and by
passing each and every one of them your attraction will skyrocket
in no time! (If you really want to deal with a girl like that is another
question, think about the hot-crazy-scale of Barney Stinson from
How I Met Your Mother). For this you obviously need to practice
how to pass those tests! I will give a few examples, but you will
have to find solutions that work for you! This is where experience
plays a big role!
Example 1:
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HB: I dont just have sex with everyone!
Aima: Well I really dont understand all that hype about sex, I
mean without sex none of us would be here right? Sex is just a
natural thing to do when two people are attracted, damn people
even had sex long before they could talk! (cred: Teevster, check
out his sextalk guides for more refraiming advice)
Example 2:
Player 60yearsofchallenge walking up to two strippers
60: Hi, Im 60
HBs (pissed): Go away!
60 (genuine and humble): I just wanted to introduce myself since
you guys look like fun
HBs (staring at him, angry)
60 (holding the EC, genuine and humble)
HBs (cheering up): Wow, you got balls! We like you! Sit down!
Generally if you feel like you get shit-tested, just look her straight in
the eyes and then after a short pause slowly turn your head away,
not saying anything!
Attention! Important news regarding A2
Creating attraction and raising your value is the hardest part (!!!) of
the whole seduction process! You can spend your whole life trying
to become better at creating attraction (= raising your value). No
matter what some gurus tell you, you will never be able to attract
any girl. But using what we use can help you get the best out of
yourself right now. Dont worry if you have problems raising your
value in an interaction its normal! And think about it that way:
After you have raised your value, the rest of the game is not nearly
as hard (not saying it is less important quite the opposite, as you
will see).
A3 (male to female attraction)
During A2 you have raised your value higher than her value (in her
eyes). Now the girls wants you (= you are the prize) and you give
her the chance to win you over! And we do it step by step (very
important!!).
Why do we do it step by step if the girl wants us already? Because
the more you make her invest into you, the stronger her connection
to you will be. Also we are making use of the human psychology:
By giving her a chance to improve her own value (= qualifying to
us) we make her work and therefore invest into us.
Old example from the german community: Imagine you have saved
money for five years and worked hard to buy yourself the car of
your dreams, a red Ferrari Smooth Edition! And imagine further
that on the day you buy the car, you win the lottery and you win the
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exact same car, so now you have two identical red Ferrari Smooth
Edition in your garage. You dont need the same car twice, so you
will sell one of the two. They are the same, same color, same
engine, both brand new. Which one will you sell? The red Ferrari
you worked five years for? Or the one that just landed in your
hands?
Most people (and I agree) would sell the car from the lottery,
because they would feel some kind of connection to the car they
worked for (not to mention the fact that you can tell everyone this
is my dream car that I worked hard for and earned myself!).
Its the same with women and their men they will stick to the one
they worked for! So lets make her work a bit!
So once again: We give her a chance to impress us (= improve her
value by qualifying to us), to make her invest. In other words we
make her (!) give us reasons (!) to like her (!).
Read that last sentence once again, its the base concept of A3.
So how do we do that?
- Compliance
- Bait Hook Reel Release
- Screening (male to female), Qualification (female to male)
There is no straight line between those three things, since they all
work for the same goal.
Compliance
A Compliance test (often also called hoop) is like a verbal or
nonverbal hoop you hold for the women to jump through. Verbal
compliance tests are often questions, but they can also be simple
statements!
Examples:
Verbal:
Can you cook?
Do you do sports?
Non-Verbal:
Can you hold my glass?
Give me your hand?
Most interactions are compliance tests. Asking for her name is a
small compliance test, having sex with her is a big compliance test.
Same thing is she is borrowing you money or you ask her to buy
you a drink/ pay the bill.
10 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
If she takes the test (= jumps through your hoop) she gets a
rewards (= Indicator of Interest from you to her), if she is not
compliant (= not jumping through the hoop) you give her an IoD
(=Indicator or Disinterest). The idea is make her feel good when
she is compliant (= jumping through the hoop) and withhold good
feelings when she is not compliant. Important: The IoD is no
punishment, you dont want to make her feel bad! You just dont
want to make her feel good either!
Soon she will connect being compliant with having a good feeling
and will therefore be even more compliant. Eventually this will lead
to her being compliant to the idea of sex (this can happen very
fast).
Most good players in Germany like to combine Compliance with
Bait Hook Reel Release (BHRR), see below.
Beforehand two important points!
First: Be aware that compliance is super important! During the
whole interaction up till the sex happens, you want to increase the
compliance just like you increase the kino escalation! Because she
has been more and more compliant all the time before, chances
that she will have LMR are much lower, since she will have good
feelings connected with following your lead.
Second: Be aware not to install negative compliance!
Example:
PUA takes her hand, gives her a spin.
PUA (making fun of her): Haha, what was that?
This will build negative compliance, she will connect following your
lead with a bad feeling (= you making fun of her). Therefore
chances are lower that she will follow your lead later on!
Instead use a push/pull (Reel/Release, see BHRR below):
Reel: Uhhh, very sexy ! (IoI = Indicator of Interest)
Release: I give you a B+ (IoD = Indicator of Disinterest + DHV
(Humor), Roleplay)
Bait Hook Reel Release (BHRR)
BHRL is also part of the original Mystery Method and probably the
thing I have least experience with! Its quite complicated to do
during normal talking, but you can throw it in from time to time!
Some people in Germany really dig it and have good success,
some really good guys even claim it to be the most important
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technique in A3. That is the reason why I will explain the system in
a few words.
As explained above the idea is to make the women work for you,
and exactly that is what we are doing here. Imagine a fish that you
want to catch during fishing! You use your bait in the hope that the
fish will hook, you reel it in, but then instead of eating it you release
it into the water, therefore starting the whole process again! Thats
what we do with the women: We give them a chance to qualify
(bait), when she qualifies (hook) we set some positive compliance
(reel /pull) and then give her a slightly push, showing her that she
has still not won us completely (release / light push).
Examples:
Bait: Give me your hand (= Compliance Test), trying to spin her
Hook: Gives her hand and does the spin
Reel: Uhhh, very sexy ! (IoI = Indicator of Interest)
Release: I give you a B+ (IoD = Indicator of Disinterest + DHV
(Humor), Roleplay)
Bait: Do you do sports?
Hook: Yeah just today I was jogging for one and a half hour
Reel: Thats cool, I like people who stay fit (IoI)
Release: but I dont like jogging myself, its just too boring! I
prefer (IoD, said friendly and smiling, not insulting! Remember
we only want a slight push to set some positive compliance! If you
ruin the Reel with your Release she will have a bad feeling and she
will probably not be as motivated to hook again (because she
combined the hook with a negative feeling)).
Dont think of the BHRR as something that you have to do
conversation will become like an interview and predictable if you
use this all the time! Instead think about it in a bigger picture you
want to give her a chance to qualify, she may even hook and talk
for a bit, talking back and forth (her qualifying to you) and then you
can set a good Reel (pull) and add a Release (little push).
Bait: How was your weekend? Any big adventures or traveling?
(Compliance test)
Hook: bla bla story of her weekend in Miami, both of you talk back
and forth
Reel: Wow you are really cool! (IoI)
Release: (laughing, kidding) I mean as far as I can tell, after all
we just met here in the club and you know what kind of strange
people run around when its dark (IoD + DHV (Humor)).
You can also give her Hoops when she asks you something.
Example:
HB: How old are you?
Aima: Have a guess
You make her work and invest for information about you.
12 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
What do you do when the girl is not compliant (= not jumping
through your hoop/ not taking your compliance test)? You react with
an IoD and an additional DHV. Its actually quite easy:
Aima: What do you like to do in your spare time?
HB: I dont know meet some friends and stuff (= lame boring
answer / being to cool to give a real answer, etc.)
Aima: (ironically, raising eyebrow, deadpan voice): Wow, Ive never
heard anyone ever say that! Tell me more (= IOD + Humor this
works because she is already attraced after A2).
(Do this without having build attraction in A2 and you will kick
yourself out of the set! Just saying there is a time to use ironic
comments and there is a time not to use them).
Alternative: Looking in her eyes, saying nothing, after a pause
slowly turning head away and looking away, silence.
In addition you can basically apply everything on this board about
push/pull, just make sure you set the right compliance!
Screening (male to female), Qualification (female
to male)
This is pretty much common sense, but I still want to lose a few
words! Of course you could use basically ANYTHING as a
compliance test. But instead you should use the time effectively
and use compliance tests that screen if the lady is the kind of girl
that you are looking for.
Bad Example:
What do you think about horses? is a compliance test. But I dont
give a fuck weather she cares about horses or not! So I should
rather use a compliance test that at the same time tells me
something about her that I would like to know!
Better:
Are you adventurous? (And if she says yes): Interesting! When
was your last adventure?
I like high heels a lot, so I often talk with girls about their shoes!
You are wearing no heels tonight? Why is that?
Nice shoes how high are they?
When asked weather I like shoes I love high heels, they
emphasize every womens legs tits and ass, simply delicious!
With the statements above I show the girls what I like (high heels)
and therefore give them a chance to say what I want to hear, they
qualify themselves (=trying to make me like them).
Often girls tell me how they are not into one night stands, simply
because they think that would make them seem slutty and of low
13 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
value. But by refraiming sex as something normal, they often open
up and tell me how much they love sex and tell me their favorite
positions or tell me kinky sex stories!
Now probably everyone prefers those stories compared to some
talking about horses. When talking about topics you like you dont
need to fake being interested, but are actually interested! The
things you say will become more congruent (remember we dont
want to become incongruent just because we are in A3 now).
In other words you want
- talk about things you are interested in
- give them chances to say the right things!
You can also use this to shape the girl in a way you want. If I
screen for a LTR I will qualify her differently than when Im looking
for a ONS. As I said, its common sense, I dont screen her for
being faithful when I want her to cheat on her boyfriend with me.
And I dont screen her for being slutty when I want her to fall in love
with me (but I will still screen her for being sexual of course).
Once again attention: Sometimes the girl just has nothing
interesting to say to your question! Accept it and laugh it off! Please
dont just give her an IoD for being honest with you, okay?
How do I recognize if I have enough Attraction (A2
A3 Transitioning?)
The line is not clear, most people I know try to transition after they
have gotten their first IoI from the girl (this can happen extremely
fast (seconds) or take a lot time (several minutes). The idea is to
assume attraction and just throw out one or two compliance tests. If
the jumps through the hoop, you move on, if she does not jump/not
qualify herself, you go back to A2. Switching back and forth is no
problem, as long as she qualifies herself in the end.
YES! Sometimes women can be very attracted and are still not
qualifying. An experienced player will recognize that and simply
move on to the next phase (some advanced players even skip A3
completely to be faster in bed with the hottie), but I recommend all
beginners/intermediates to do normal A3 to play it save.
Rule of thumb: Learn and apply the system before you modify its
basic concepts!
Comfort (C1, C2, C3)
First the most important thing: The game is played in comfort! In
other words: Comfort is the most important part of the game! This
is the part where you have gathered enough resources (attraction)
14 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
to build something long lasting (= a true connection).
Now some of you may just be out for the quick ONS, and its 100%
true that you can lay girls without doing comfort (what I mean is
doing only very little comfort, just enough to make her feel secure)
I will address ONS again later. But talking about comfort now: if
you want to see the girl again or (god forbid) you want to have
more than just meaningless sex with her, this is the thing you want
to concentrate on! Also in my experience comfort is extremely
important with girls that are not into ONS (yes, those are out
there!). Additionally, comfort will make your numbers solid (my
numbers are more than 95% solid), which is extremely helpful
when you cant lay her that very night (due to logistics or her period
or whatever). Even more important: the more she thinks of you as
her soul-mate, the more effort she is willing to put into the whole
interaction (and the more effort she will put into the sex)!
What Im talking about is girls bringing you presents, girls wanting
to do anything to please you (in bed and elsewhere), girls canceling
other things just to see you, girls texting you good night before they
go to bed and girls being there for you in case you ever need
someone. Ever wanted to get treated better than her ex boyfriends
without even being her boyfriend? Ever wanted to have a girl
become your solid girlfriend? All this and much more is comfort! Let
me repeat again: The game is played in comfort.
I have two charts that will show you the difference between
attraction and comfort! First thing you have to understand is that
attraction is emotional (!) and comfort is logical (!). Attraction will
make her feel like she wants you, comfort will make her
understand why she wants you (= give her reason).
Look at the chart below you need all three (attraction, comfort
and closing) for a successful and strong seduction.
Comfort 1.jpg
Without attraction first, you will fall into the friend zone, and we
know its hard to ever get out again.
Without comfort she will not feel a connection with you! But why is
that? Look at the second chart I brought you guys:
Comfort2.jpg
Attachment 747
As I said attraction is emotional and comfort is logical! Now the
problem with an emotional connection (= only based on attraction)
is that its fading away pretty fast. Think of it as Out of sight, Out of
mind! Its part of how our brain works! And this is also the reason
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why she is not picking up her phone when you call her! The good
feeling is just not there anymore, instead (her logical side) has
probably even build up bad feelings regarding your interaction (=
we call this buyers remorse). Without having addressed the
logical side (= comfort) during the seduction, there will be nothing in
her brain left that wants her to meet you again. Still, this is how
many short term seducers work. Starting today, you know better!
Talking about comfort
Now in the old MM Mystery was separating comfort into three
different phases, C1, C2 and C3. The difference between those
phases was the place where you interact with the girl (C1 =
Isolation, C2 = different location, C3 = your apartment / different
sex location).
Nowadays we dont feel the need to separate between those three
phases anymore, so we are simply talking about Comfort as one
whole thing. Thats nothing special, because in all three phases we
are planning the same thing: We are trying to build a deep
emotional (=logical) Connection while building trust, ease and
coziness.
The first step for comfort is what we call Isolation. The goal is to
create a situation where you can talk alone with the girl (and
therefore work on your connection without being interrupted).
Examples:
- In a club, take her to a quite table close to her friends.
- In a club again, talk alone with her, standing a few feet away from
here friends
- In a social situation go to the kitchen with her or talk on the
balcony
Experienced players know how to create isolation basically
anywhere! I will never forget one of the best naturals I ever met,
sitting at a big table with me and my friends and some girls, and he
just moved his chair a bit closer to the girl sitting next to him and
started a low volume conversation with her, they were whispering
at each other and we others just kept talking normally, while those
two just created their own little space right there! Great isolation
from that natural friend of mine and a move I have myself
successfully copied several times!
Now why is isolation that important? Because it will help you to
make her focus on one thing: on you! She will not be distracted by
her friends! At the same time a more private frame is set, now you
are exchanging information that are not for anybody, only for you
two (= special connection). Additionally you can drive more kino (=
ideally no watching friends -> she wont feel looked at) and she will
get used to being (more) alone with you (= good compliance).
Typical ways to isolate go from just grabbing her hand over I need
to show you something to simply talking to her friends first (Im
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borrowing your friend for a minute, Ill bring her back, I promise +
big friendly smile).
Isolation in a club becomes easier when you stay into eyesight with
her friends. She wont feel like you are taking her away and will
therefore be more comfortable with the situation. Her friends on the
other hand will look over and see that everything is okay, so you
reduce cock blocking (I barely get cock blocked at all).
The next steps are once again just techniques that I recommend,
try to find the stuff that works for you and fits your style!
- Spend time together
- Bouncing
- Nicknames, Insider
- Grounding
- Vulnerability
- Physical Comfort
- Befriending her friends
Before I explain those techniques, another very very (!) important
point: Many people (especially beginners and people who are just
learning comfort) are making the mistake to just become extremely
boring when they start their comfort game! Part of that goes back to
the old MM, where Mystery didnt point out one very crucial point:
When you enter comfort, your attraction game (A2/A3) does not
stop!
Yeah you understood me correctly! Many people simply start their
comfort routines and start talking about their family and their dog
and I dont know what! You dont want to be like that! Instead
implement the comfort stuff into the interaction!
Soon you will have a feeling for when to have a logical
conversation with a girl (= comfort) and for when you need to make
a joke or tease her a little (= attraction). For the beginner the basic
guideline will be: Try to go for comfort, see if she is compliant (=
comfort is just another compliant test) and pay attention to her
reactions during the talk. When you feel like things are getting
boring, either bounce (see below) or throw in some attraction stuff.
Think of the chart above - you want to slowly create balance
between the emotional and the logical side. Dont just go all logical
because you have been all emotional (= attraction) beforehand!
Just go a little bit more into comfort mode and create a long lasting
strong connection (=logical, comfort) while making use of the
powerful short term connection (=emotional, attraction).
Spend time together
Think about the persons in your life that you feel the strongest
connection with! Those are normally the people you have spend a
huge amount of time with! You had good time and bad times, but
most of all you had MANY times together! There are a lot of
memories regarding that person and from all the things you have
experienced together, you really have the feeling you know that
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person well and can trust this person. In other words you are
feeling comfortable around that person!
Try to spend a lot of time with your target. The more time you have
spend, the more she will feel comfortable around you (= comfort =
logical connection). But dont get boring and dont lose touch with
the emotional side of the game (see the chart above again) or you
will end in the friendzone.
Comfort2.jpg
Attachment 747
Now I know its not always easy to spend a lot of time with a girl,
especially not if you want to lay her really really fast! Thats why we
players have some tricks that we use, the most important trick
being bouncing!
Bouncing
Bouncing is what we call the change of locations. Most guys make
the mistake to always stay at the same place with a girl. For
example they will meet a girl for a drink during a date and thats it.
When her friends ask her what the date was like, she will say
Well we had a drink. In her brain you will be the guy she only
had a drink with.
Now lets compare that with a date where you use the power of
bouncing.
You arrange the date and make her pick you up. When shes at
your door you give her a super short tour through your
apartment/house (at the same time making her more comfortable
with your place). Afterwards you go to a location where you can
talk good (for example drinking cocktails). Instead of ending things
here you just drink one cocktail and move on to an other place
afterwards. In that second place the focus is not on conversation
but on other things (cinema, theme park, etc. some external
entertainment). On the way home you stop at a restaurant and talk
a bit more.
By the time you two are back together at your place, the two of you
will have experienced so much more than people do normally on a
normal date. Its like you have fitted three little dates (cocktails,
cinema, restaurant) into one date. And it never got boring!
In addition (in her brain) she will have you connected with several
places at once! You are more present in her brain! And even
though this was just one date, she will have the feeling as if you
have known each other for a much longer time (since this kind of
connection is something that normally only develops after several
meetings).
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But Bouncing is not only something you can do during dates! Even
when you start meeting her right there in the club, you can create
several memories in a short amount of time! Dont just stand in one
corner and talk to her, this will get boring!
- Check out all the different dance floors
- Never sit at the same place twice (except you like to sit with her
friends)
- Every time you get a drink, go to a different bar (most clubs have
more than one place to get a drink)
If you can, try to bounce outside that very night! Go to a pizza place
close by and grab a snack! Go to a convenient store and buy some
water for the two of you. Go to a different club! To a bar. Go prank
the neighbors! It doesnt even matter!
The goal should be to create as many different memories as
possible!
Small hint: If you have several ideas about what to do, try to do
something she has never done before. In addition its always good
to shoot for extreme emotions! If she is experiencing strong
emotions, her brain will mistake those strong emotions for
attraction. And people never forget the first time they rolled this
huge rollercoaster! Its the forth time they forget and dont think
about!
So from now on, make use of the time you have with a girl and
create as many memorable moments as possible!
Nicknames, Insider
What else is it that connects you with your best friends? Well one
thing is for sure: you guys will have a lot of insiders! Those insiders
may be funny things you experienced together, something funny
someone said at a special situation, a quote from a movie you
enjoyed or something similar.
Those insiders connect the two of you in a special way. Outsiders
may be hearing the words, but they wont understand why you two
start laughing. In other words: Insiders are a group phenomenon.
And this is again something you can use to your advantage!
When you talk with a girl and you see the option to do a reference
to something said earlier, just go for it! Dont think about insiders
too much, since you cant really plan them. But if you and your
target have developed an insider, try to cultivate it.
You can also give her a nickname. Animal names are good, the
same goes for Disney characters and comic figures. Be creative.
Grounding
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When I tell you that Bouncing is the most important technique you
want to learn for building comfort, then Grounding is the second
most important!
Grounding means showing her how you became the person that
you are. In other words you are telling her the reasons why you
think or behave in a certain way.
If you think being honest is very important, than there is possible a
reason why you think like that. You may have made experience
with someone who was not honest and you didnt like that. Or you
think its important to be honest because otherwise life would just
be chaos and one could never lay back and relax. Or you think
being honest prevents a lot of drama and therefore you have no
place in your life for people who are not honest.
That is just one example of what could be the reason for you (!) to
hold a certain value high.
Next thing: Why do you work in the job that you have? (financial
independence? being really good at it and feeling fulfilled?) Why do
you enjoy a certain sport?
A few examples (mostly routines):
HB: What sport do you do?
Aima: I go to the gym three times a week
HB: Oh, so you life weights? ( like everyone else)
Aima: Yeah, I just love how you can measure yourself at the
weights. You know how everything in life change all the time, but I
tell you one thing, 200 pounds is always 200 pounds! And if I
manage to lift 205 then Im a better and stronger person than
before!
HB: Oh okay *smiling*
Why is she smiling at the end? Because now she understands why
I like that sport! She can understand my actions and see my
motives, I become more predictable and show her my values!
Values are always intimate informations, therefore she will have the
feeling that I open up to her (I actually do). On top I showed a
passion and showing passion is always good (= being able to have
passion for something is attractive).
Examples:
HB: So what do you do for a living?
Aima: Im a law student, I just passed the bar.
HB: Oh okay
Aima: I know what you may think. But law just comes easy to me.
And being a lawyer is a job I can see myself getting up for in the
morning for something like 40 years. On top I can earn enough
money to travel. You know traveling is my biggest passion.
(transition to talking about traveling).
HB: So are you a family person?
Aima: Well, you know how people always ask if you are a family
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yes or a family no person? Im definitely a family yes person.
My family rocks! I love them so much and they are the most
precious thing in my life! My younger brother is the most important
person in my life! I would die for him! What about you?
As you can see Im using some very strong emotions here (love,
and loving something so much you would die for it). But I have
never gotten any bad reaction on that story every. Its because Im
congruent with that story and I honestly feel that way.
* *
As you can see, grounding comes down to telling her why you feel
or think a certain way. Ask yourself, why do you do your job? Why
do you do that sport? Why do you think family, money, traveling are
important? What are your goals in life? Why do you have those
specific goals? How did your childhood influence you? Puberty?
If asked, I have reasons for everything I do and think. I can also
give reasons why I feel certain ways. Sharing some of those
information with her will let her into your world and she will
ultimately have the feeling that she understands you better than
anyone else (=she really knows you).
* *
Dont forget that you have it in your hand to trigger a Grounding
conversation. Some questions you may ask.
- What did you want to become when you were a little girl? And
dont tell me a princess
- You look like a person who knows exactly what she wants (self
point)
- Do you like that job?
- What do you look for in a man? I mean apart from him being
awesome in bed.
Vulnerability
When talking about Grounding we also have to talk about
Vulnerability. Dont be afraid to show some vulnerability during
Comfort. But dont overdo it. One little story is normally enough to
show that you have a soft core inside your attractive and strong
character.
Example:
HB: Being faithful is very important to me
Aima: I know what you are talking about. My second girlfriend was
cheating on me. I caught her in the act.
HB: Not really (shocked)
Aima: Yeah, I had a student job at a baker store, trying to earn
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some money for my driving license (shits expensive in germany)
that was at a time when she complained and said I should spend
more time with her. So I managed to leave work earlier and drove
directly from work to her place. When I arrived, she was not
alone
HB: Oh wow Im so sorry.
Aima (shy smile) Normally I dont tell this anyone. Its crazy how
comfortable I feel around you
HB *smiling comforting*
You see how I turned the conversation at the end? I used the story
to create some strong emotions inside her (maybe someone
cheated on her too, at least she can imagine it) while giving her
reasons to trust me (= he was cheated on, he wont do it to me
because he knows how much it hurts) while also telling a story of
how I worked for my future (=driving license) and was putting effort
into a girl I liked (=every girl wants that). Finally I was taking all
those strong emotions from the past right to the present. By sharing
a secret she has the feeling to be something special, but speaking
about how comfortable I feel around her she will feel more
comfortable herself.
And in case you wonder: Yes, this is a true story! And yes, it is one
of my strongest routines! At the end I do often take her hand a
caress it (=physical comfort).
But always remember: After such a heavy story with enormous
emotions, you want to relax the atmosphere and either talk about
something funny and relaxing or bounce. Dont even let the
emotions get you down you have made your point (in this case
=being vulnerable, being faithful, being a good boyfriend,
Grounding). Now you want to move on in the interaction.
Physical Comfort
Comfort doesnt always have to be verbal. I love to use kino for
building comfort. You can hug her when she tells you a very sad
story and hold her really tight. But you can also do what I like to call
couple kino: When walking with her, hold her hand. Dont ask, just
take it as if its the most normal thing to do.
Other things you can do:
- Caress her neck
- Caress her hands during conversation
- Lay your arm around her
- Caress her leg
- Touch/Lay your hand on her lower back
And this includes also every move you have ever done to show
your former girlfriend how much you liked her.
I call this couple kino because you dont want to make her horny,
but you want to make her feel more comfortable and make her feel
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secure. The idea is to give her an idea what it would be like to be
your girlfriend / spend more time with you. And you want away
some fears she may have.
Befriending her friends
When ever you have the chance, try to befriend her friends briefly.
In a club, a girl will often be out with her friends! Those friends can
be the biggest cock blocks or they can be super supportive! Your
goal is to make them like you as much as possible in the shortest
time possible!
Most of the time the friends will be worried that you are the wrong
guy for their friend! Talk with the group or the friends, exchange a
few words and show them you are just a normal guy, no crazy
psycho that is going to rape her friend! You dont need to force this
talk, instead just throw a question at the friend and see if she is
willing to talk. Be genuine and humble.
I often ask the friend: So how do you two (target and her) know
each other? Are you classmates/workmates? That makes them
both talk and creates some group energy.
Another thing you want to do is make your target understand that
you like her friends! Often a friend will come over and be quite
protective about her friend, look if shes alright and then go away
again. Here I often say She is really looking after you! You can be
glad to have a friend like her, thats only something really good
friends do for each other!
She often replies Yeah, she is the best with a big smile. Now she
has the feeling that I like and understand her friends, what makes it
much easier for her to see me as part of her group. She also
doesnt need to be afraid to have me join the group, because she
knows I will be positive and friendly towards her friends!
All this leads to her having a good positive feeling towards you
(=comfort).
Final words on skipping comfort:
I know guys who say they pull girls without comfort. I have pulled
girls with almost zero comfort myself. When you have really really
strong attraction game and the situation and the girl are in your
favor, it can work. But pay attention to what I said. I said I have
pulled girls with ALMOST zero comfort. Some comfort has to be
there.
It is a 100% fact that you wont have sex with a girl thats not
feeling comfortable on a basic level. Maybe she is trusting
strangers easily, then you dont need much comfort game. Maybe
your appearance or how other people treat you are making her feel
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comfortable. Maybe she has watched you beforehand and feels
like you are save.
Fact is: Maybe she is comfortable enough around you WITHOUT
YOU DOING ANYTHING. Thats right, I have experiences many
situations where I didnt have to do any comfort game to win the
girl. But just because I didnt have to run comfort game doesnt
mean there was no comfort. The comfort was there so I didnt have
to create it.
Think about it: Sometimes the girl just seems to find you super
attractive without you having done anything! The same can happen
for comfort. Unluckily, there is almost never a case when she both
finds you instantly attractive and is instantly comfortable with you.
In most cases you have to work on at least one end, mostly you will
have to do work on both ends.
Is it therefore a good advice to skip comfort when you just want to
bang her quickly? No it is not! But with what you have learned
here, you can tell quite quickly if she is comfortable enough around
you (= comfort is another compliance test). And if you feel there is
no need for comfort, then skip comfort. But if you are not sure add
a tiny bit of comfort and gather her reaction. Then take it from
there!
And if you are a beginner, do the comfort.
If you want to make her your girlfriend, do the comfort.
If you want her to make you breakfast next morning, do the
comfort.
If you want to reduce LastMinuteResistance (LMR), do the comfort.
And if you want her to give her best in bed, do the comfort.
Is comfort a must have? In most situations, yes!
And I swear you will recognize the situation when its one of those
rare cases when you dont need comfort.
Sex (S1, S2, S3)
You have successfully attracted the girl. You have (during the same
night or over one/ a few dates) created enough comfort.
Congratulations, now its time for the actual sex!
Mystery divided the Sex into three parts:
S1: Foreplay (in the sex location, e.g. your bedroom)
S2: Last Minute Resistance (LRM)
S3: The Sex happens
Once again I dont think a separation in different phases is
necessary. Just focus on the main thing: Getting her horny and
getting it in!
If you have done everything else (=attraction and comfort) correctly,
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you wont face any problems. Having sex is no longer her decision,
but you have made it your decision. If you have used your
knowledge to create attraction and to build comfort, you have
earned the sex. You seduced this women. And she is on and about
to fall for you. Congratulations!
On Last Minute Resistance
In case of last minute resistance, most people recommend a freeze
out. I have never done a freeze out successfully. All I ever did was
being persistent and trying to make her horny.
A few techniques:
- Kiss her neck and ears
- Tell her how horny she makes you
- Pull your cock out
- Touch her between her legs, touch her breast
- Breath heavily
- Maybe bite her gently
- Moan
Then if she still resists, make a small break. Do some light
attraction and comfort game, then initiate again by telling her how
you cant stop, how horny she makes you. If you have a boner, its
recommended to pull it out!
If the girl is really shy (or a virgin) she may need a lot more comfort
than normal women. But maybe she was only waiting for you to
pull your cock out. Take it from there, be dominant, then gentle,
funny, again dominant and dont break the atmosphere.
If that doesnt help, break the atmosphere, take her mind off and
then surprise her but going for the sex again. Always smile when
she pushes you away. This girl is already making out with you, so
her rejection is just a joke. Smile it off.
She has probably never seen a guy taking LMR that way, and that
alone will make her curious what a guy like that is going to be like
in bed.
One last advice: if you face strong LRM often, then the problem lies
somewhere in your game, may it be Attraction or Comfort. Fix the
problem and the LMR will go. Dont focus on breaking LRM when
the real problem was your game beforehand.
Additional Pointers
On kissing
In which phase should you kiss the girl? Well, I like to kiss the girls
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during my comfort game, when she starts to feel Im not only
attractive but also different. Sometimes I kiss the girls when my
attraction is super strong and then I take her to a quiet corner and
start building comfort so she wont forget about me. There have
been rare cases when I kissed girls the first time in my bedroom
(during the Sex-Phase (S1-S3)).
As you can see, everything is possible here. Try to find out what
works for you!
On different phases of the seduction
People always criticize the MM is too static and doesnt leave room
for natural interactions! They assume people always see the
different phases and act accordingly from A1 to A2 to A3 and so on
and so far. But thats simply not true (at least no one I know is
strictly following the script).
As Ive pointed out earlier the line between A2/A3 and Comfort is
undefined during comfort you dont want to get boring but instead
you do still want to DHV from time to time (A2) and let her qualify to
you (A3). In other words there are no strict lines!
And you dont even have to follow the different steps there can be
situations when you dont need some of the steps and can move on
much much by skipping a step. Think about what I said about
skipping A3 or even skipping Comfort (rare cases I have to admit,
but as you get experiences you will play on a different level (= see
the matrix)).
Think about the flowers in your garden. Flowers need care.
Everyone tells you to water your plants. But when you go out and
you see its raining, you wouldnt think one second about going out
and watering the plants, right? Thats common sense!
From now on I ask you to apply that common sense in your
seduction too! When the girl is super attracted right from the start,
you dont need much DHV, you may be able to skip A2 all together
and directly start A3 (female-to-male-qualifying). Maybe she will
directly be very compliant after your first Compliance routine (e.g.
give her a spin or a hug or holding her hand) and then you move
directly to comfort OR you may even try to isolate her directly
(because she is Down To Fuck (DTF) and just wants you badly
right there in her friends bedroom next door/ in the club toilet/ in her
car, etc.!).
But for all this to work you need to ask yourself: Do I need this
Phase of the seduction or do I not? Luckily, the more experience
you have, the better you will be at answering this question.
By the way: Skipping phases that were needed is normally the end
of your seduction. My favorite example is a drunk guy at a club: He
opens the chick (A1), may even be able to build some attraction
(A2) but then he does not qualify the girl (skipping A3) and she will
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assume he will take home any girl and that hes just after any
pussy. He will probably skip Comfort too and thats it. NEXT! Drunk
guy can watch his girl going home with me. I dont feel sorry for
him, its his own fault.
Even worse: The drunk guy that just opens with the line Do you
want to have sex with me?. While this is a more direct line that
creates some attraction when delivered congruently (mostly not the
case with drunk guys) its probably not enough attraction to make
the girl compliant to the huge compliant test will you sleep with
me! Remember: After opening she still things her value is higher
than yours!
So just apply some common sense and you will be surprised how
smooth things can work in your favor.
Last Words
Now if you have some questions regarding this (extremely long)
guide, feel free to ask. Post a question right here if its a small
question or open a new topic with a question that is bigger (and
send me a PM with the link so I see the topic).
This post was over half a year in the making. When I wrote the first
lines it was autumn of 2012. Back then it was called Updated to
2012.
I want to say Im honestly sorry for all the spelling and grammar
mistakes, I did my best.
I wish that the community benefits from this guide and that people
start to talk a little bit more about comfort, helping all those young
souls that would like to have girl falling on love with them.
I have never been a commercial coach and I will never be. The
community taught me how to pick up girls. I want to give something
back for the younger generation (though many guys may actually
be older than me).
Experience is the key. Use this guide to figure out AFTERWARDS
while certain things worked and why others didnt work. Improve
and become a better man. The women will be happy.
Greeting and all the best,
Thanks for reading,
Aima
Last edited by Aima; 11-24-2013 at 02:50 PM.
"I hope the journey and hard work continue for a lifetime."
>>>> My complete player guide - everything from meet
27 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
to lay, in my "Hall of Fame" post, for free <<<<
Reply With Quote
05-18-2013, 07:42 PM
For how many years have I been telling people that everything
important, Mystery already said?
Guys who think it's "outdated" don't understand what it is: the art of
parallel and consistency.
100% agree that it's more a theory than a method.
It's an NLP breakdown of successful seduction, a way of modeling
what has been observed to be effective.
And a brilliant one at that.
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Reply With Quote
05-18-2013, 09:01 PM
#3
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28 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
theory based on generating attraction? Along wioth swinggcat.
Know we see no other method/theory who talk aboti the ways to
genberate attraction , what i mena about that is making a person
who was not getting a shit about you at the start like/ have interest
in you or even chasing.
Shy thus concpet is know not used noit talked. This not the real
seduction?
Originally Posted by ChitownMaverick
For how many years have I been telling people
that everything important, Mystery already
said?
Guys who think it's "outdated" don't
understand what it is: the art of parallel and
consistency.
100% agree that it's more a theory than a
method.
It's an NLP breakdown of successful seduction,
a way of modeling what has been observed to
be eective.
And a brilliant one at that.
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05-19-2013, 04:39 AM
It's also really nice to see someone mention the importance of
Grounding.
Too many guys, when asked a direct question about who they are,
like to give some dumbass C&F answer and just evade the
question.
Fuck that noise!!
Own who you are, know how and why you became who you are,
and express it fully. Not many people are so confident that they can
own themselves in such a way. Major bonus points.
#4
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05-19-2013, 11:41 AM
#5
Aima
29 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
If people would just understand this basic concept
(A1,A2,A3;Comfort;Sex) they would know exactly where they went
wrong during their seduction and could improve where they need to
improve on.
I would be happy if my guide were used for the new players guide -
many young players could be helped that way!
For myself, I just have to say: When I learned and understood
about the MM, I became really good with women. Getting laid was
no longer a problem.
Well, there is a time for C&F, but it's during Attraction Phase. You
really don't want to start the Conversation with Grounding.
But then if you stick with C&F alone all the time and never
transition into comfort, that's when the girl will forget about you and
don't reply to your texts the next day.
Greetings,
Aima
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For how many years have I been telling people
that everything important, Mystery already
said?
It's also really nice to see someone mention
the importance of Grounding.
Too many guys, when asked a direct question
about who they are, like to give some
dumbass C&F answer and just evade the
question.
Fuck that noise!!
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#6
30 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
05-20-2013, 12:37 PM
This thread is really outstanding and definitely deserves inclusion in
the HoF or Newbie Guide. You've given us fresh eyes to make the
familiar new and relevant again!
I really want to spend some more time to reflect on these classic
ideas again before offering more constructive commentary but I just
wanted to express my gratitude for your fine work here Aima. It's
obvious you put a lot of effort into analyzing and writing this up for
everyone's benefit, so thanks and bravo.
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05-20-2013, 02:55 PM
The biggest thing i see in the new-more natural way of seduction is
the absance of ways to generate attraction like In mystery Method.
Is this because generatign attraction is just a myth or because it
became ibsolate cause we prefer seducing the girls who alerady
like us ?
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05-20-2013, 05:29 PM
Awesome guide man, huge props for writing this up and thanks for
shooting me the PM. Really great stuff here!
As you know, comfort was always one of the things i never paid
attention to because it seemed unnecessary to me. The way you
emphasize it and break it down is great. I especially find the part
about attraction being a fleeting feeling when not much comfort is
mixed in, to be true. This is why when I couldn't have a SDL it was
much harder to end up getting the girl. This is why my lays would
#8
Bullseye
Member
31 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
rarely turn into more than a ONS or fuckbuddy.
It makes sense now that by tweaking the amount of comfort you
give a girl, you can determine what kind of relationship you two will
have.
My only question for you, is do you ever find that by creating too
much comfort (while still being attractive of course) you make it
harder to get the same night lay? That she slots you into the
'potential boyfriend' category instead of the 'secret lover' category?
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05-20-2013, 08:38 PM
Thanks Daigoro! I really like your posts so this compliment means
a lot to me!
I think guys prefer to seduce the girls that already like them
because gathering attraction is by far the hardest part of the game!
Comfort is not that hard, once you have a little experience. Same
goes for escalating to sex - it's the same things basically, all the
time!
Attraction is different, it's much more fluid and much more complex!
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Originally Posted by Daigoro
This thread is really outstanding and denitely
deserves inclusion in the HoF or Newbie
Guide. You've given us fresh eyes to make the
familiar new and relevant again!
Originally Posted by Witcher
The biggest thing i see in the new-more
natural way of seduction is the absance of
ways to generate attraction like In mystery
Method.
Is this because generatign attraction is just a
myth or because it became ibsolate cause we
prefer seducing the girls who alerady like us ?
Originally Posted by Bullseye
My only question for you, is do you ever nd
that by creating too much comfort (while still
being attractive of course) you make it harder
32 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
Well, if you indeed create "too much comfort" you are going to pull
her too much on the logical side. This happens often when the guy
forgets about his attraction game during comfort (= they get
boring).
It's really all about the balance!
But don't mistake "building comfort" with "becoming boyfriend
material". The idea is not to make her want a relationship with you -
the idea is to make her more comfortable (and stay attractive at the
same time).
So to answer your question: "Too much (!) comfort" is always bad
because you need to keep the attraction up. If you get boring you
will lose attraction. And if you spend too much (!) time in the
comfort phase in a night club environment, you will get boring.
Think about it: Your goal is to create as much comfort as
nessaccary for laying her. But you can only do comfort game if she
is attracted, or it will backfire. The time you can spend building
comfort depends on the attraction you have build and your skill to
hold attraction high while building comfort.
The better you get at combining Attraction and Comfort, the more
time you can spend at comfort without her feeling bored. And
therefore the deeper your connection with her will be.
Bouncing, Physical comfort and befriending her friends (see above)
are your main weapons here.
Or to put it in other words: Comfort is only "too much" when she is
not attracted enough (anymore).
Also think about it that way:
If a girl doesn't want to have sex with a guy because he is
"relationship-material", then it's always because she feels
comfortable around him, but not attracted enough. The girl wants to
wait to see if he is attractive enough or not (if not she will LJBF
him).
The connection (=comfort) is never the problem, it's always the
attraction that is lacking in these situation.
I hope this could answer your question, if not just keep asking
Greetings,
Aima
to get the same night lay? That she slots you
into the 'potential boyfriend' category instead
of the 'secret lover' category?
33 of 35 07/10/2014 12:08 AM
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05-21-2013, 05:08 PM
Like Dai, I'll take some more time to read through and reflect on
your post. Just wanted to chime in with a few thoughts.
- Absolutely agree with you. Mystery had it all figured out, and he
didn't really write down a "how-to" for seduction, but a model that
describes the structure of what happens in pretty much every
seduction. I have looked back at every single one of my seductions
and have always seen that it followed the A-C-S model pretty
closely. It's just not how I motivate my escalation, but it's what
happens. It is however, up to us to fill the structure with our own
content, and that is where styles differ.
- on Attraction: I think the entire "non-chasing" movement here (of
which I consider myself a part) is just another way of playing
indirect game, and the mindset that goes along with it. I read "bait-
hook-reel-release" in your OP here for the first time in a long time,
and it hit me how I always do this! I disagree with you, I don't think
it is difficult in normal conversation, it can kinda structure entire
conversations about any topic. It also structures the way I kiss a
girl, very often.
- on Comfort: I've always been a bit wary about this one, because I
don't do Mystery-style comfort at all. But in the end, comfort can
just mean vibing with her friends and dancing with her group for a
short time, or any other way of getting her trust (I would rather call
this phase "getting trust" or "getting intimacy", which is more what I
do in my style).
Anyway, that's just top of my mind. Hope I'll have some time to look
more deeply into this, thanks for the effort anyway.
#10
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