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Sociologists tell us that

according to statistics there


is a great likelihood that:
(1) a child of an alcoholic
will be one, (2) a child of an
abuser will be one, (3) a
child of poverty will stay
one, (4) and a child of a
broken home will have one.
These statistics fail to
recognize a God Who
says: "If any man be in
Christ, he is a new
creature." -' II Cor.
5:17. We can be
" ... born agairi, not of a
perishable seed, but of
imperishable."- I
Peter 1:23. We can " .. .forget
what lies behind and reach
forward to what lies ahead."
-PhiL 3:13.
1 believe 1 am a living
testimony to the truth of
Gods Word.
My name is Sarah
Elizabeth Chandler. 1 was
born on August 23, 1955, in
Gadsden, Alabama. 1 have.
three brothers and a sister. 1
am the middle child of five.
My childhood home was
first damaged by divorce.
Before the divorce was final,
my father left and never
returned, So at the age of
twenty-six, my mother was
left with four small children
and one on the way. I was
four years old at the time.
Those formative years
were characterized by
rejection, ihsecurity,
alcoholism, immorality and
sexual abuse by close family
members. I can still
remember my mother's
intoxicated boyfriend wildly
driving us through the
streets and beating my
mother mercilessly. There is
only one way to explain why
we were not killed on
numerous occasions -
God's divine protection.
1 well remember my
mother leaving us alone,
sometimes for days at a
, time, while she was out
seeking fulfillment by ,
drinking and partying. After
being warned several times
by the county welfare
department, my mother was
judged an unfit mother and'
lost custody of her children.
, We went to live with my
, grandparents because the
welfare department
informed them that we
would be placed in foster
care unless a family member
agreed to take custody. Once
we were in their custody, my
12 '" THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon 'l' February/March, 1998
mother left us. For the next
five years; I was fatherless
and motherless. My
grandparents were not
Christians and had their
own problems. My
grandfather had severe
mental disorders and at
times was very violent. He
had become addicted to
, prescription and over the
counter drugs. My
grandmother became '
a very bitter WOnlan.
She resented her
daughter dumping
five children in her
lap and leaving her
with all the
responsibility of raising
them. Though we were
helpless children, she took
out her resentment on us.
We felt rejected and.were
subjected to daily cursing
and verbal abuse from her:
Neither she nor my
grandfather knew or seemed
to care about showing love.
As small children, we were
never held, hugged, told we
were loved, or received any
words of encouragement.
Oh, how I longed and
needed someone to love me!
I didn't know at the age of
eight that things could get
any worse, but they did.
When 1 was twelve years
old, my grandparents were
notified that my mother had
been involved in an auto love me. Shortly after my Wmston Chandler and I
accident with Ii. school bus. sixteenth birthday, however, were married. His love was
She was not hurt, but a I came home from school to in many ways similar to the
seven year old girl had been find my cousin cleaning out incomparable love ofjesus
killed. It was determined she my room. With no which I was to fmd later in
had been drinking at the explanation, I was told I life. This wonderful man has
time of the accident. After would have to find another continued to love me and
my mother was arrested and place to live. I was shattered. teach me how to give love
taken to jail, she suffered a At sixteen years old, I was back for twenty- five years. I
nervous breakdown, and the rejected and homeless. am constantly amazed at
court ordered her to a state Returning to my mother was
God's grace in giving me this
mental hospital. She not an option since she was
marriage at just the right
received treatment for her serving a one-year prison
time in my life. I realize now
breakdown and addiction to sentence for first degree
that it saved me from
alcohol. After only a few manslaughter.
following in my mother's
weeks, she refused
My oldest brother and his
immoral lifestyle. My
treatment, packed her bags
new wife took pity on me
husband was the first person
and walked out of the
and temporarily provided
in my life to demonstrate
hospital. As a result, the
me a place to live. Little did
what true love is in all its
court ordered her to serve a
I know in my forlorn and
facets. Even though I came
six-month jail term.
hopeless situation that God
to him with terrible
Mother came back into had brought me to Atlanta
emotional scars, my
our lives when I was thirteen to give me the loving and
husband loved me for who I
and brought a new step- stable environment for
was and has never ceased to
father with her. He treated which I longed. I did not
let me know how much he
her in the same fashion as know anything of God's
loves me though the road
many of the former men in character then, but now I
has been rough at times.
her life. He was addicted to realize that during those
I had hoped that my new
alcohol and was verbally and difficult times He gave me
mother-in-law and I would
physically abusive to the hope. I believed that better
be able to enjoy a special
entire family. days had to come, and by
friendship. Though we
When I was fourteen, I
God's grace, they did.
began our relationship well,
came to visit relatives for the Just before my sixteenth
it did not last. Once again I
summer. Since I was now birthday, God brought a
would face rejection for
old enough to choose where young man into my life who, years to come. My husband
I wanted to live, an older in spite of my terrible assumed the role of
cousin agreed to assume background, genuinely protector, but it didn't take
custody of me. I had hoped loved me and cared for me. long to see how his mother
that at last I would have a A few weeks before my truly felt about me. Because
real home and someone to seventeenth birthday, James of her rejection and refusal
February/March, 1998 '" THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon 'I' 13
to forgive and accept me, studying it. The Holy Spirit mother's negative role model
she missed out on knowing used Gods Word to and the terrible relationships
the only three grandchildren penetrate and convict my I had with my grandmother
with whom God would bless heart of my sinfulness and and mother-in-law, God has
her. She died in March of need of a Savior. I saw that given me the gift of
1996. the root of my problems was mothering. He has imparted
Shortly after our third
not the terrible way I had to mea tenderness and deep
wedding anniversary; God
been treated as a child. My joy in this high calling. God
had already blessed us with
sin stood between me and a has been faithful to put
two beautiful sons. By the
saving relationship with godly Christian counselors
time the boys were two and
Christ. I professed a and women in my life since I
four I began to feel tugs at
superficial "religion" but I became a Christian who
my heart to get them into
had never confessed my sins have mentored me in all
church. I believed that being
and embraced Christ as my those areas where my life
in a church would somehow
Savior. was lacking godly models.
make you a better person, so On October 11, 1984, at I was determined with
I decided to join. I'm not the age of twenty-nine, I fell God's help to raise our two
sure how I was able to do it, on my face before God and sons in a stable environment
but when the leaders of the confessed that I was a si=er and teach thern to honor
church met with me and and cried out for mercy and God. Despite our parenting
asked their questions, they forgiveness. I pled for peace ups and downs, God has
seemed satisfied and and the Prince of Peace, my blessed us With two sons of
admitted me iilto church Savior, the LordJesus Christ, whom I can say, "these are
membership. I immediately came into my life bringing. my beloved sons in whom I
became involved in church His perfect peace and am well pleased." Chad is
activities. I did everything I cleansing power. "Then I now twenty-two and Justin
thought a good church acknowledged my sin to you is twenty. Both boys are
member should do, but I and did not cover up my active in tninistering to other
continued to have a iniquity. I said, 'I will confess young people and discipling
tremendous void inside. my transgressions to the them in the Lord. God is
Worst of all, 1 had no peace Lord' - and you forgave the faithfuL
and struggled with severe guilt of my sin." - Psalm
What more could we
depression and even had 32:5.
possibly need with all these
suicidal thoughts.
If someone were to ask blessings? God always goes
God's providence was me to describe my greatest beyond even what we could
again evident in my life. A achievement in life, what I ask or think iri blessing us.
friend invited me to a consider the source of my Six weeks after our
women's Bible study called, greatest joy, I would respond eighteenth wedding
"Precept Upon Precept" that that it is the privilege of a=iversary, our daughter
got me reading the Bible and being a mother. Despite my Brittany was born. God has
14 :j: THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon :j: FebruarylMarch, 1998
redeemed the mother- enabled to forgive and love fulfill the cycle of abuse,
daughter relationship for me my mother without allowing addiction and an immoral
by enabling me to develop a her to control and lifestyle be explained in light
godly, loving relationship manipulate me. I pray that of all the statistics? I can
with my little girl. At seven, Gods grace would reach her only attribute my being
Brittany is full of j oy and heart, and that He would see plucked as a brand from the
love, a constant source of fit to bring her to repentance fire to one thing - God's
blessing to me and the rest and saving faith so that our amazing grace! He alone can
of our family. Along with her relationship can be intervene in our lives and
brothers, Brittany shows redeemed. make whole that which was
evidence of her trust in
My dad, on the other
broken, AGAINST ALL
Christ as her Savior. How
hand, returned to our small
ODDS! Let God be true and
wonderful to be able to trust
town two years after I was
every man a liar. To God
the promises of a covenant-
saved in 1986. I never had
alone be all the glory!!!
keeping God.
the opportunity to meet him
"But because of his great
The sociologists' or tell him that I forgave
love for us, God, who is rich
predictions have proven him. He died with a massive
in mercy, made us alive with
accurate for my three heart attack while in a
Christ even when we were
brothers and one sister. All drunken stupor at the age of
dead in transgressions - it
three brothers have fifty-nine. When I attended
is by grace you have been
experienced broken homes, his funeral, I was grieved
saved. And God raised us up
prison sentences, lives of that I had never known my
with Christ and seated us
sexual immorality, sexual earthly father and that he
with him in the heavenly
abuse, drunkenness and had never known me. But
realms in Christ jesus, in
severe drug addiction. My one day while I was crying
order that in the coming
sister, though she has never to God about my sadness of
ages he might show the
been in prison, has been never knowing my dad, He
incomparable riches of his
divorced and remains comforted my heart through
grace, expressed in his
trapped in an emotional His word: "for in Christ, I
kindness to us in Christ
prison with a severe drug became your father through
jesus. For it is by grace you
addiction. I cry out to the the gospel...", - I Cor.
have been saved, through
Lord daily that His mercy 4:15b. I know now that I
faith - and this is not from
would be extended to save lack nothing, neither father
yourselves, it is the gift of
them. nor mother. God is all in all
God - not by works, so
At this time, my mother is
to me, the One to Whom I
that no one can boast. For
still alive, divorced, addicted
can always run, crying out,
we are God's workmanship,
to alcohol and various
"ABBA [Daddy], Father,"
created in Christ jesus to do
medications. I diligently try
confident that His loving
good works, which God
to have a relationship with
arms will always be open
prepared in advance for us
her. Through God's love and
wide.
to do." - Ephesians 2:4-10.
forgiveness in my life, I am How can my failure to NIV
FebruarylMarch, 1998 THE COUNSEL of Chalcedon 15

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