The Frame Control Bible

by Nick Sparks
www.thesocialman.com
Frame Control: What is it?
Every person has an interpretation of the world (their frame)
Reality is always malliable and is subject to interpretation
Whoever is more convinced of their interpretation will inuence
the interpretation of everyone around them
What is Frame Control Dependant On?
Her level of trust and comfort with you
The strength of your frame
The attractiveness of your frame
Her Level of Trust and Comfort
A woman wont adopt your frame if she doesnt trust, like, or feel
safe with you
Developing a Strong Frame
Can be done directly or indirectly
Direct frame development: Reinforcement of frame through
concious thoughts. IE: She really wants to kiss me right now
Indirect frame development: Expressing a particular frame to
others, even if you dont fully believe it and getting positive
feedback that will strengthen that frame
Developing an Attractive Frame
Certain frames of reality are more attractive than others
Positive vs. negative frames
Well look at specic attractive frames in a bit
Is Frame Control Manipulation?
Human beings, esp. women are looking for leadership
If your frame is a selsh one, i.e. I want women to worship me
because it will make me feel good about myself , then women will be
less likely to adopt your frame
Conversely, if your frame is one that will benet her she is more
likely to follow, i.e. We are going to have an amazing night together
Key take-away: Your frame should always be based on mutual-benet
Frame Control Happens On Two Levels
Physical: How you move your body and the amount of physical
touch you initiate
Verbal: The words that come out of your mouth that will set the
tone of an interaction
Key: As long as she trusts you and your frame is strong and
attractive, she will follow your lead.
Dont Do What Donnie Dont Does
Donnie keeps physical touching low because his frame is that
touching is awkward - and thus she follows his lead
Donnie waits for obvious indicators of interest from a woman to
escalate, and is thus is dependant on her frame
Donnie isnt sure if a woman will like him or not and therefore,
neither is she
Her Frame When She Is Approached
This guy looks fun. I want to talk to him
He doesnt look like the kind of guy I want to talk to
Im having a girls night
Im not interested in being picked up
Why cant I nd a man?
I have a guy already and am not interested in being picked up
I look terrible tonight, no guy would want me
I look hot, I can have my pick of men in here
An innite possibility of things
Sometimes Her Frame Is Strong
Example: If a married woman is totally in love with her husband,
her frame that shes not interested in meeting a new guy is
probably very strong.
In this case, you probably wont be able to get her in bed. This
has nothing to do with you
Sometimes, Her Frame is Malleable
She is looking for a stronger, more attractive frame from a guy
she feels comfortable with
Donnies Frame When Approaching
Im going to open and run a routine and then look for IOIs
I hope she likes me
Shes out of my league
She can have her pick out of every guy in here
Im not really sure if that was an IOI or not
Shes on her phone, I cant talk to her
If I get her, I win. If not, I lose.
How Does Donnie Communicate This Frame?
Weak eye contact
Looking to her for approval after he says something
Appearing displeased if she doesnt give the reaction hes looking for
Running for cover if hes not greeted with smiles
Being oblivious to her reaction
Speaking in a defeated tone
The Correct Frame When Approaching
This woman is attractive, Id like to get to know her better
She will have a better time talking to me than not
If she doesnt like me at rst, its simply because she doesnt
know me well enough yet
I wonder whats going on in her world
How Do You Communicate This Frame?
Strong eye contact
Looking away with a smile on your face after you say something
Appearing happy and content regardless of her reaction
Standing strong if you dont get positive reactions at rst because you know theyll
come
Paying attention to what shes saying and feeling so you can vibe with her instead
of trying to bulldoze her with your own words
Speaking as though you couldnt be more sure of the words coming out of your
mouth
Donnies Frame When Escalating
I think she wants me to touch her now
I hope she lets me kiss her
I better wait for another IOI before I try anything
If I get her number Ill be such a baller
What if she doesnt like me touching her?
When is the right time???
She didnt like my touching, looks like this one is lost
If she does like me touching her, I can escalate further until she tells me to stop
How Does Donnie Communicate this frame?
Nervously sliding his hand to her back and waiting for her response
Getting excited because hes getting a number
Waiting for some signal from her to make a move
Awkwardly going for a kiss before the vibe is right
Acting withdrawn and bitter if she denies his advances
Mechanically increasing the level of touch until she stops him
The Correct Frame When Escalating
Shes cool, I want to make her feel good by getting close to her
Shes sexy, we would both melt if we kissed right now
Why wouldnt she want more touching?
Shes smiling and talking to me, she wants me to take things further
I need that number so we can see each other again
This feels good. Its so the right time
She didnt like my touching? Its ok, some people are less comfortable with themselves than I am
I want to touch her to make her feel good, but shell also like it if I pull back for a moment to
build the tension
How Do You Communicate This Frame?
Moving closer to her - not just trying to touch her
Acting as though the number exchange is an inconvenience on the road to
getting to getting to know her better
Make a move because you want to because you cant help how attracted to
her
Understand if she denies your advances but remain unapologetic since you
cant help it in the rst place
Move in to make both of you feel good, and then move away for a moment to
make the touching more powerful
Of Course Its Not That Easy
A woman will test your frame...
not to be a bitch (most of the time) but...
She needs to know if youre more than a gment of her
imagination
I Love Tests
She needs to know if youre really a strong, condent, sexy man
who goes after what he wants or if youre full of shit
Being strong enough to pass a womans tests makes you strong
enough to pass the worlds tests
The Frame Control Cheat Sheet
Everything Youll Ever Need Pass Every Test
Non-verbal Tests
Anytime she pulls, turns, or looks away
The answer: Mirror
Although your instinct may be to try and get her attention
back, it stems from insecurity
Instead, pull, turn, and look away as well. After demonstrating
your non-neediness, face each other and continue where you
left off
Responding to Verbal Tests
In general: You are uninching
Important: Keep eye contact
Speak slowly and 100% sure of yourself
Move a bit closer as you answer
Keep a half smile on your face to show youre unfazed
So what do you do?
This usually isnt even a test; Girls want to make sure that youre
not a psycho - having a job is a good way to communicate that
You can be evasive once, but answer honestly the second time
A little bit of this, a little bit of that
I run this town
Youre Such a Player
I cant help it if girls like me
I dont do it on purpose
Takes one to know one
Yeah but only a little bit
I just really love women. Its not my fault
Women just always seduce me. I dont want to be rude and shoot
them down
Im not going home with you
You really shouldnt. I mean I know I can behave myself but I
really cant trust you
Of course youre not, I barely know you
Youre right. I mean I would love to cuddle with you but you
would probably try to seduce me
Whoa, I never invited you. Although thats not a bad idea
Aww, youre funny
She turns from your kiss
How dare you seduce me and then turn away (With a disconnect)
Thats too bad, that would have been fun.
Theres a good chance that youll regret that later
Ohh I got the cheek, Im going to be scarred for life now. How can
you live with yourself
I love it when a girl turns away like that. Can you promise youll
never kiss me? That was way more fun
Im too much for you
Oh yeah, I can tell I wouldnt be able to keep up with
that (Sarcastically)
Darling, you have no idea what youre getting yourself into
Youre right, he looks more your speed (Point to awkward guy)
Ooh, you sound like fun
I like my chances
I only date X
I bet you dont
Thats cool. I dont really have a type. Lifes more fun when you
try everything
Thats too bad, this would have been fun
X and guys who (describe yourself positively) of course
Well Im not X, so how are we going to make this work?
I dont even know you
Youre right. This is crazy
I know. Its a good thing were attracted to each other
I know. You really shouldnt be looking at me like that
Its funny, I was just thinking the exact same thing about you
Youre right. Hi, Im Nick
Why should I give you my number?
You really shouldnt. Wed end up spending too much time together
and wed never get anything done
Because youd love to talk to me more, dont be silly
Because you havent done enough nice things for yourself yet today
I probably wouldnt if I were you, but you like me for some crazy
reason
Because life will be more fun
Youre so full of Shit
Of course I am but you love it
Darling, you really should trust people more. Youll thank me for
that advice later
Its pretty ironic that youre telling me that right now (laughing)
Maybe, but what if I wasnt?
Its a good thing that you like that in a guy
Transitioning
After you pass her test, simply go right back to where you were
before
Get to know each other better
Escalate, both persoanlly and physically
Framing Her
Making Her Whoever You Want Her to Be
Women Want to feel Sexy
How you treat a woman will determine how she behaves toward
you
Donnie Dont
Frames Donnie puts on a woman:
Youre so difcult
Youre so moody
Youre so much work
Youre a pain
Youre boring
Why do you think Donnie only nds difcult, boring, and moody pains-in-the-
asses?
Attractive frames
Frames you should put on a woman:
Youre so much fun
Youre trouble (in a good way)
Youre trying to seduce me
Stop looking at me like that
Youre sexy
Youre so spontaneous and adventurous
Dont be surprised when you nd fun, adventurous, spontaneous, seductive, and sexy women
who look at you like that