Beyond Surviving. Gender Differences in Response To Early Sexual Experiences With Adults.2008.

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Journal of Family Issues
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DOI: 10.1177/0192513X08321493
2009 30: 391 originally published online 1 July 2008 Journal of Family Issues
Sally V. Hunter
Experiences With Adults
Beyond Surviving: Gender Differences in Response to Early Sexual
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Beyond Surviving
Gender Differences in Response
to Early Sexual Experiences
With Adults
Sally V. Hunter
University of New England, Armidale, Australia
The aim of this research project was to explore how men and women con-
structed a sense of self through narrative following an early sexual experi-
ence with an adult. Using narrative inquiry methodology, 22 in-depth
interviews were conducted in New South Wales, Australia, with 13 women
and 9 men ages between 25 and 70. All participants had an early sexual expe-
rience at the age of 15 or younger with someone 18 or older. Narrative analy-
sis was used to examine the co-constructed stories that emerged. Participants
told four evolving narratives about their experiences: narratives of silence, of
ongoing suffering, of transformation, and of transcendence. The gender dif-
ferences between these narratives have been examined in the light of the liter-
ature relating to childhood sexual abuse, the victim and survivor discourses,
and the social construction of gender.
Keywords: child sexual abuse; narrative; gender
T
here is evidence from qualitative research studies of the potentially
devastating impact that child sexual abuse can have on peoples lives
(Briggs, 1995; Cameron, 2000; Courtois, 1988; Darlington, 1996; Dolezal
& Carballo-Dieguez, 2002; Dorais, 2002; Etherington, 1997, 2000; Fater &
Mullaney, 2000; Gill & Tutty, 1999; Hall, 2000; Herman, 1981; Lev-
Wiesel, 2000; Ray, 1996, 2001). This is supported by evidence from large-
scale studies that have identified correlations between child sexual abuse
and psychological distress (de Visser, Smith, Rissel, Richters, & Grulich,
2003; Edwards, Holden, Felitti, & Anda, 2003; W. C. Holmes & Slap, 1998;
Journal of Family Issues
Volume 30 Number 3
March 2009 391-412
2009 Sage Publications
10.1177/0192513X08321493
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391
Authors Note: This article is based on my PhD research conducted at the University of New
England. Please address correspondence to Sally V. Hunter, Room 313, Pat OShane Building,
School of Health, University of New England, Armidale, New South Wales 2351, Australia;
e-mail: sally.hunter@une.edu.au.
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Neumann, Houskamp, Pollock, & Briere, 1996), including depression,
alcohol abuse and antisocial behavior (Horwitz, Widom, McLaughlin, &
White, 2001; MacMillan et al., 2001; Putnam, 2003), suicide risk (Dube
et al., 2001), anxiety about sex (de Visser et al., 2003), and personal prob-
lems, such as increased numbers of divorces and increased likelihood of
unfaithfulness within relationships (Colman & Widom, 2004), among men
and women. There is also evidence of low self-esteem and depression in
women (Cecil & Matson, 2001), increased risk of revictimization in women
(Coid et al., 2001) and men (King, Coxell, & Mezey, 2000), and problems
related to intimate relationships and sexual functioning among men
(Dhaliwal, Gauzas, Antonowicz, & Ross, 1996; W. C. Holmes & Slap,
1998; Watkins & Bentovim, 2000).
The experience of child sexual abuse itself varies, in terms of its sever-
ity, according to a large number of complex and interwoven factors, which
makes it difficult to predict the effects, outcomes, and long-term conse-
quences of child sexual abuse for an individual (Dhaliwal et al., 1996).
Childhood maltreatment has often been conceived as a series of isolated
events, whereas it is typically part of a matrix of environmental problems
such as poverty, unemployment, parental alcohol and drug problems, and
inadequate family functioning (Horwitz et al., 2001, p. 185). This makes
it hard to differentiate the effects of child sexual abuse from those of asso-
ciated chronic psychosocial adversity (Rutter, Giller, & Hagell, 1998).
Much of the research in this field focuses on one gender or the other.
Most studies appear to suggest that women who have experienced child
sexual abuse have more symptoms of depression, anxiety, posttraumatic
stress disorder, and adjustment problems than men (Feiring, Taska, &
Lewis, 2002; Horwitz et al., 2001; MacMillan et al., 2001; Rind,
Tromovitch, & Bausermen, 1998; Sigmon, Greene, Rohan, & Nichols,
1996; Ullman & Filipas, 2005). However, a deeper exploration of the data
reveals that this may be an oversimplification. In four of six of the studies
quoted above, the women experienced more recent or more severe forms of
abuse, including physical contact, than the men in the sample (Feiring et al.,
2002; Rind et al., 1998; Sigmon et al., 1996; Ullman & Filipas, 2005). This
difference in abuse severity may explain the higher levels of adult psy-
chopathology found in women than in men.
Issues of sexuality and human behavior are complex, and researchers
have pointed out the variability in the impact of child maltreatment on
adults (Bowers & Farvolden, 1996; Colman & Widom, 2004; Colton &
Vanstone, 1996; Dallam et al., 2001; Durrant & Kowalski, 1990; Fergusson
& Mullen, 1999; Haaken & Lamb, 2000; Himelein & McElrath, 1996;
392 Journal of Family Issues
Horwitz et al., 2001; Oellerich, 2000; Putnam, 2003; Seligman, 1994;
Stanley, Bartholomew, & Oram, 2004). According to Finkelhor and
Berliner (1995), about 40% of children experiencing child sexual abuse
have few or no symptoms on standard measurements. A large study based
on retrospective recall of childhood victimization concluded that after con-
trolling for stressful life events, childhood maltreatment appeared to have
very little measurable impact on any of the lifetime mental health outcomes
measured (Horwitz et al., 2001). Hence the conclusion that child maltreat-
ment does not necessarily lead to severe psychopathology (Putnam, 2003)
or interpersonal dysfunction (Colman & Widom, 2004).
To explain this variability of impact, researchers have tried to understand
both the risk factors and the protective factors that might be at work
(Herronkohl & Herronkohl, 2007; Jonzon & Lindblad, 2006; Masten, 2001;
Najman, Nguyen, & Boyle, 2007; Werner, 2005; Wright, Fopma-Lay, &
Fischer, 2005), the construct of resilience (Rutter, 1999; Rutter et al., 1998),
and posttraumatic growth (Tedesci & Calhoun, 2004). Individual, familial,
and environmental factors are all believed to have a buffering effect, includ-
ing the childs intelligence and the level of parental resources and support
(Masten, 2001; Masten & Coatsworth, 1998), good parenting (Serbin &
Karp, 2004), self-esteem and social support in adulthood (Jonzon &
Lindblad, 2006), and the ability to construct a supportive environment for
oneself (Werner, 2005).
Much of the research in this field has been based on clinical samples of
childhood sexual abuse survivors. These are men and women who have
acknowledged that their experiences in childhood had a profound impact on
their lives and have entered therapy to overcome these difficulties. Less is
known about people who have had early sexual experiences that they them-
selves did not consider to be abusive or who have overcome their experi-
ences without therapy. This study was an attempt to set aside the usual
assumptions and to interview people about their childhood experiences,
regardless of whether they believed them to be abusive, and to examine dif-
ferences between the genders in terms of the construction of a sense of self
following such experiences.
Research Method
The research question was defined as How do men and women con-
struct a sense of self following early sexual experiences with adults? A
sense of self was seen as constructed through dialogue (Pedersen, 2000)
Hunter / Beyond Surviving 393
and closely linked to the narratives that people tell about themselves to construct
a socially acceptable sense of self (Neimeyer, 2000). These narratives were
co-constructed (Gergen & Gergen, 2003; McLeod, 2001) and represented
one version of what happened in the past, told to a particular person, at a
particular time, in a particular context. All of the narratives told in this
research study were retrospective, because they described events that hap-
pened many years ago. However, some participants described the develop-
ment of their narrative about this issue over time.
The researcher used narrative inquiry methodology (DePoy & Gitlin,
2005). Having gained ethics approval for the study, the researcher recruited a
purposive sample (Barbour, 2001) by placing a press release in local newspa-
pers and by speaking on local radio in New South Wales, Australia. All those
who volunteered to be interviewed had to be ages between 25 and 70, to have
had an early sexual experience when they were younger than the age of 16
with someone older than the age of 18, and to not be currently under the care
of a psychiatrist. The researcher took great care not to use the term child sexual
abuse during the recruitment process, and the expression early sexual experi-
ence was left open to interpretation by participants themselves.
The purpose of the study was explained to all participants, who gave
their informed consent in writing. The interviews were conducted in a con-
venient public location, such as a community center, in a manner that
assured the privacy of the participant. Most of the interviews lasted for
about 1.5 hr, and participants were reassured that they could withdraw from
the study at any time. They were reassured that if they became distressed,
they would be given information about free counseling services in the area.
The interviews began with a generative narrative question (Flick, 2006,
p. 174) or broad invitation to tell their story in whatever way they wished.
Most participants needed very little prompting and spoke at length, without
interruption, about their early sexual experiences. The researcher was able
to use interviewing skills and questions for clarification to facilitate a high
level of disclosure while being mindful of the ethical responsibility to do no
harm to participants (Haverkamp, 2005).
The data were analyzed using Rosenthal and Fischer-Rosenthals (2004)
method of analysis and the NVivo data management program (Ezzy, 2002).
Methodological procedures, such as preparing field notes and full tran-
scripts within a week of each interview, were used to enhance the credibil-
ity, authenticity, and dependability of the results (Minichiello, Fulton, &
Sullivan, 1999). The data analysis included an exploration of biographical
data, thematic analysis, reconstruction of case histories, an analysis of
individual texts, a process of comparison between the narrative and the life
as lived, and the formation of different types of narratives (Rosenthal &
Fisher-Rosenthal, 2004).
There were 22 participants, 13 women and 9 men. Twenty identified as
heterosexual, 1 as lesbian, and 1 as a bisexual male. Their experiences var-
ied from a sexualized kiss to vaginal, oral, or anal intercourse. The women
interviewed were younger than the men and more likely to have had exten-
sive therapy relating to their childhood experiences. All 13 women had het-
erosexual childhood experiences, mostly with their father or stepfather.
Five of the 9 men had homosexual experiences with men who were known
to them, 1 had a heterosexual experience, and 3 had sexual contact with
adults of both sexes. All but 2 participants had experienced other forms of
child maltreatment within the family. Most, but not all, now defined their
experiences as abusive and focused on adultchild sexual contact rather
than sexual contact between peers. None of the women interviewed
described early sexual experiences with an older woman.
When reading the findings, it should be remembered that the data were
collected from a relatively small number of men and women who are not
necessarily representative of a particular population. The methodology had
four specific limitations: Participants were recruited through the media and
were volunteers; the findings represented a reconstruction of events and
were reliant on participants memories; the findings were limited to a par-
ticular social, cultural, and historical context except inasmuch as partici-
pants described how their narratives had changed and developed over time;
and the researcher inevitably influenced the narratives that participants
chose to tell. Some readers may find their experiences distressing.
Results
Participants told four narratives about their early sexual experiences,
which have been titled narratives of silence, ongoing suffering, transfor-
mation, and transcendence. These four narratives have been described in
greater detail elsewhere (Hunter, 2007). Six participants, 4 men and 2
women, told narratives of silence. They believed that they had not been
severely affected by their early sexual experiences. Five participants,
including 2 men and 3 women, told narratives of ongoing suffering that
were similar to the narratives that are frequently told in the victim discourse.
Narratives of transformation were similar to narratives in the survivor dis-
course. The 6 participants telling this narrative were all women who felt that
they had overcome their childhood experiences. Five participants, 3 men and
2 women, told narratives of transcendence, refusing to be defined by their
childhood experiences, which they had put behind them. Participants have been
divided into four groups according to the core themes of the narrative that they
told. In the following description of each narrative, the similarities and differ-
ences between the narratives told by men and women have been described.
Narratives of Silence
Six participants, 2 women and 4 men, told narratives of silence and
believed that their early sexual experiences had not affected them. In gen-
eral, these experiences had begun when they were adolescents and had been
with men that they knew rather than with family members. They came from
relatively functional family backgrounds, were able to develop satisfying
careers, managed to avoid drug or alcohol dependence, and had not felt the
need to seek professional help.
Both women and men telling narratives of silence chose not to talk to
anyone about their experiences as children and as adults. One man was
speaking about his experiences for the first time ever, and 2 other men had
only ever told their partners before the interview. There was a sense in
which it was a relief to feel free to talk about the fact that they believed that
they had not been severely affected by their early sexual experiences. Bert
(who had sexual experiences with an older man at the age of 11) described
his choice not to talk to friends about what happened: The reason that I
havent discussed it, I think, is that Im afraid of their reaction, because I
dont think that Ive been traumatized by this event.
These 6 participants believed that their early sexual experiences had not
affected them negatively. They had been able to move on with their lives,
carving out satisfying careers and fulfilling social lives for themselves,
without ever telling their families what had happened. Two participants,
Bert and Greta (who had sexual intercourse with a man age 25 at the age of
15), saw their experiences as part of their normal process of sexual devel-
opment as adolescents and not as abusive experiences. Four participants, 1
woman and 3 men, now described their experiences as child sexual abuse
but did not feel that they had been unduly affected. As Peter (who had
sexual experiences with an older male cousin) said, I got on with my life.
It didnt seem to affect me.
In recent years, some of these participants had started to review their expe-
riences in the light of societal concerns about pedophilia. They had begun to
consider whether their intimate lives had, in fact, been negatively affected. In
slightly different ways, 3 male participants were questioning their ability to
have fulfilling, intimate sexual relationships with their partners. For example,
Anthony (who was sexually stimulated by two women as a young boy) real-
ized that he was unable to have sex and love together: I cant have the two
things together. I cant have an intimate relationship that is meaningful. He
had numerous affairs but was unable to maintain a sexual relationship in either
of his marriages. He was beginning to connect these events with his childhood
experiences and had become depressed and suicidal.
It would, of course, be easy to dismiss these narratives as a stories of denial
or as nave attempts to minimize or downplay the impact of early sexual expe-
riences on childhood development. The question remains: Why did these par-
ticipants volunteer for the study? The reason was that many of them had begun
to question their own narrative. The media coverage of the issue of child
sexual abuse and pedophilia appeared to have influenced them. They now felt
ashamed that they had not reported their abusers and were fearful that other
children might have been sexually abused as a consequence of their silence.
Peter became tearful when he said, As the awareness became more, I thought,
Well maybe Ive done the wrong thing in not raising this issue.
The men felt a sense of shame and responsibility about their sexual
experiences, whether they were with women or with men. Peter never told
his friends what had happened: They might have thought I was homosex-
ual or something. Jim (who had been anally penetrated by a schoolmaster
from the age of 13 to 15) demonstrated his feelings of shame when he said,
Youre probably absolutely bloody disgusted. In adulthood, he had
become involved with bondage and discipline with consenting women and
recognized that he was reenacting what had happened to him as a child. He
said, Im really disgusted with meself [sic]. I think its bloody unnatural.
Narratives of Ongoing Suffering
Five participants, 3 women and 2 men, told narratives of ongoing suf-
fering. Life presented many challenges for these participants, who saw
themselves as victims of traumatic childhood sexual experiences that had a
profound impact on them. Some believed that they had been let down by
society as well as by individual adults. They told problem-saturated narra-
tives similar to those reported in the child sexual abuse and the recovered
memory literature. They had difficulty moving forward with their lives and
felt violated, damaged, and betrayed.
Two participants, 1 woman and 1 man, had repressed all memory of their
childhood maltreatment and had learned to dissociate from their intense feel-
ings of anger and shame. They were in the process of recovering memories
of child sexual abuse and were experiencing great distress. Sylvia (who had
recently recovered memories of being raped by her father at the age of 8)
described how recovering this memory had destroyed her confidence and shat-
tered her hope for the future: He killed, he sort of destroyed any hope I had
of actually being an amazingly beautiful daughter and person.
Tess (who had grown up in a sexualized environment involving her
mother and her stepfather) had only recently put a name to her experiences.
Tess said, I never thought of myself as being abused. I never actually put
a name on it. It just, it happened. It wasnt until years later that it was
named. For Sylvia, Tess, and Paulians, the realization that they had been
sexually abused helped to explain the chaos and suffering that they experi-
enced as adolescents, including drug and alcohol abuse, feeling suicidal,
and having sexual encounters outside the context of a committed relation-
ship. As Paulians (who had recovered memories of ritual abuse at the age
of 12) said, When I was at the height of my alcohol and drug addiction,
Id wake up with a whole lot of people and not know how Id got there.
Two other participants, 1 woman and 1 man, also believed that they were
victims but had developed a sense of self as campaigning for the rights of
others. For example, Hope (who was raped by a neighbor from the age of
4) described herself as an antiserial child rapist campaigner. Through
their pursuit of social justice, these 2 participants demonstrated a potential
developmental aspect to the four narratives in that they had salvaged a more
positive identity from their childhood experiences and could have been
included in the following narratives of transformation. However, they still
seemed to be embroiled in their childhood experiences and unable to move
forward in life and were, therefore, included in the narrative of ongoing
suffering.
Narratives of Transformation
Six women told narratives of transformation that positioned them as
having survived their childhood maltreatment and emerged as stronger
women as a result. Five of the 6 had experienced incest with a father or
stepfather. On average, this sexual contact started when they were 6 years
old and lasted for 5 years on average. They had also experienced other
forms of childhood maltreatment and had extensive therapy. Their narra-
tives were similar to the socially acceptable quest or survivor narratives
common in the survivor literature that place the narrator as an individual
heroine (Liamputtong & Ezzy, 2005) rather than part of a social movement
confronting injustice (Crossley, 2000).
In a similar way to those women telling narratives of ongoing suffering,
these women felt responsible for what had happened to them for a long
time. Most were too fearful, ashamed, or full of self-blame to tell anyone as
children. For example, Jewels (who had recovered memories of sexual con-
tact with various men from the age of 3 to 7) explained, There was this
feeling that everything that happened was my fault, I was responsible for it,
that I was dirty, I was evil. And so I had to keep it quiet. Some women
developed a pattern of entering abusive relationships with men as adults
believing, as Jewels did, I dont have a right to say no to men, that I have
to submit. Others avoided sexual contact with men. For example, Tina
(who was sexually abused by her aunts boyfriend from a young age)
described herself as avoiding boys when I was growing up.
These 6 women all described developing a relational sense of self. Three
chose to protect other family members and had worked in the helping pro-
fessions as adults. Three chose to seek justice and reported their victimiz-
ers when they were adults, hoping to break the cycle of abuse for the next
generation. However, they often paid a heavy price in terms of the break-
down of their relationships with other family members. Tina described her
fear for her daughter: My daughter is pulled in by the family. Its almost
like you are being groomed by the family.
All of these women were aware of the major impacts that their childhood
maltreatment had on their lives. Some described how they had previously
told narratives of ongoing suffering. However, they had come to terms with
these experiences and found comfort in their ability to protect future gen-
erations from child abuse. They were motivated by a desire to protect their
own and other peoples children. Jewels described her goal in life: As I
heal myself, being able to start reaching out to other people, and helping
people through this journey.
Narratives of Transcendence
Five participants, 2 women and 3 men, told narratives of transcendence,
refusing to be seen as victims or survivors or to be defined by their child-
hood experiences in any way. They had developed spiritually and wanted to
be seen as people rather than be defined by, or have their sense of identity
linked to, their childhood maltreatment. They felt that they had transcended
their pasts and had developed a positive sense of self of themselves in the
world. Although these narratives of transcendence had a spiritual quality to
them, they were told in a down-to-earth manner by men and women who
longed to be seen as normal rather than as damaged goods. Will (who was
sexually abused by unknown men when he was running away from a boys
home) was angry about the way the society blamed the victim, which he
saw as a form of revictimization: Youve been dirtied by this thing. Youve
been broken by this. He refused to see himself as a victim. Diana (who was
raped by 14 men at the age of 14) stated that she would prefer people to see
her as a tart rather than as a victim.
This was a defiant narrative told by men and women who had all grown
up in abusive environments. They had all experienced physical, emotional,
and sexual abuse from a young age and recognized the impact that these
events had on them as children and as adults. However, they did not want
their identities to be linked to their childhood experiences. Belinda (who
was sexually abused by her stepfather from the age of 5 to 13) wanted to be
able to say publicly, I was sexually abused as a child, and I dont expect
you to think any less of me as a person, or to judge me, or to think that I
might become a perpetrator.
There were some similarities between the men telling this narrative and
those telling narratives of silence. They had all chosen not to talk about
their experiences and believed that they had moved beyond them. The main
difference was that those telling narratives of silence believed that their
early sexual experiences had not affected them a great deal, except perhaps
in their intimate relationships, whereas these men knew that they had been
affected but refused to be stereotyped. Both these narratives, as defined in
this study, are uncommon in the child sexual abuse literature.
Discussion
This study adds evidence about the wide range of functional narratives
that both men and women tell after experiencing child sexual abuse. The
design of the study is unusual in that it invited adults to talk about their
early sexual experiences, rather than asking a clinical sample of sur-
vivors to discuss their child sexual abuse. This enabled people to come
forward who had not been traumatized by their experiences and had not had
years of therapy. This also meant that they were able to tell a wider range
of narratives, rather than focusing on victim and survivor narratives.
It was difficult to assign some participants to a particular group narra-
tive, given the progression over time that they described in their narratives.
For example, Jewels and Tina both described moving from narratives of
ongoing suffering to those of transformation. This may represent a devel-
opmental process between narratives. There was also a sense in which the
narrative of silence was unraveling for some participants, because it was no
longer a socially acceptable narrative. Societal pressure seemed to have
influenced participants willingness to disclose their childhood maltreat-
ment in adulthood, with participants telling narratives of transcendence
becoming less willing to talk openly and those telling narratives of ongoing
suffering or transformation feeling more empowered to speak about their
experiences. Those telling narratives of silence were just beginning to tell
their stories as adults.
The main barriers to disclosure were the feelings of fear, shame, and self-
blame experienced by participants. When they were children, participants
described feeling afraid of being shamed, blamed, disbelieved, or punished
if they disclosed what was happening to them. They felt ashamed of their
own involvement, especially if the sexual experiences were homosexual in
nature. As participants grew older, there was a movement toward disclosure.
In adulthood, some felt able to disclose their childhood maltreatment to the
police and to family members, whereas others wanted to continue to protect
their family members and made only limited disclosures to their intimate
partners or to the researcher. The factors making disclosure easier in adult-
hood included intrapsychic factors, such as increase in self-esteem and a
reduction in feelings of fear, shame, and self-blame; familial and structural
factors, such as living away from home, having more social support, and
having children of the age that they were when their own sexual abuse
began; and societal influences, such as the victim and survivor discourses.
Beyond Victim and Survivor Narratives
The victim narrative is a healing or restitution narrative (Crossley, 2000)
similar to narratives of ongoing suffering, told by those recovering memories
of child maltreatment. These participants were working hard in therapy in the
hope that this would result in healing of the wounds of childhood. In the past
20 years, victim narratives have, to a large extent, been replaced by survivor
narratives (Warner & Feltey, 1999), which are similar to narratives of trans-
formation. The survivor is now the preferred cultural narrative in the sense
that it portrays a young person, usually a woman, who has overcome child-
hood adversity and has been transformed in the process into a better person.
Both the victim and survivor narratives are common in the child sexual
abuse (Kaye, 2005; Naples, 2003; Reavey & Gough, 2000) and domestic abuse
literature (Dunn, 2005). These discourses have been adopted by professionals
who encourage their clients to move from the position of victim to that of sur-
vivor (Breckenridge, 1999; West, 1998). However, some theoreticians have
begun to question the usefulness of these narratives and argue that they are
gendered discourses that privatize the issue (Breckenridge, 1999; Naples,
2003) and can be stigmatizing for the survivor (Phillips & Daniluk, 2004;
Reavey & Gough, 2000). It has been argued that the social identity of a sur-
vivor anchors the womans sense of self in her abuse and is based on under-
lying assumptions about heteropatriachy (Naples, 2003; Warner, 2003;
Worrell, 2003).
For many people who have experienced traumatic events in their lives,
there is a tension between needing to remember and needing to forget
(Thompson, 1999). Most participants did not disclose what had happened
to them when they were children. Although there is a movement toward
telling as the child matures into adulthood, this was not the case for every-
one. Some victims or survivors chose to remain silent about their experi-
ences, thereby privileging the need to forget over the need to remember.
They often told narratives of silence. To do this, they had to withstand con-
siderable social pressure placed on them to tell their stories, both to have a
cathartic release from the painful impact of their experiences and to warn
and protect other children. They were resisting this pressure to turn their
narrative into a moral tale (Crossley, 2000) but had begun to name their
experiences as abusive.
During the 1970s and 80s, child sexual abuse was named publicly as a
crime against women and children, and incest was described as father
daughter rape (Ward, 1984). As more and more celebrities and public
figures, such as Oprah Winfrey, acknowledged in the 90s that they had
been sexually abused as children (Trotter, 2004) and discussed the terrible
impact that it had had on them, it became harder for participants to main-
tain that they had not been affected in the same way. Narratives of silence
became socially unacceptable and difficult to discuss publicly. Under this
social pressure, participants telling these narratives began to doubt their
own stories and to question whether they had been affected by their expe-
riences. This doubt appeared to have led them to speak out in this study.
Participants telling narratives of transcendence were men and women
who refused to be labeled as victims or survivors and rejected hegemonic
beliefs about victimization. They disliked the way society, and therapists,
labeled people as victims or survivors and believed that this label carried
with it the implication that they had been somehow damaged or dirtied by
their experiences (Haaken & Lamb, 2000). They wanted to be seen as
people within their own right, not as people who had been sexually abused.
They knew that their experiences had affected them profoundly, but they
also believed that they had transcended them.
This study adds to the growing evidence that both the victim and sur-
vivor discourses are potentially limiting and possibly even stigmatizing.
About half of the participants in this study, particularly, the men inter-
viewed, did not relate to either of these discourses and preferred to tell nar-
ratives of either silence or transcendence. On the other hand, half of the
participants, particularly, women, did relate to these discourses. They felt a
sense of relief to be able to describe their experiences of child sexual abuse
and experienced a feeling of solidarity with other victims or survivors
(Phillips & Daniluk, 2004). It is possible that there is a gender difference
operating here and that women are more likely to find the victim and sur-
vivor discourses empowering, whereas men are more likely to find them
stigmatizing and unhelpful.
Fine, Weis, Weseen, and Wong (2003) warned against the danger of cre-
ating an artificial dichotomy in the representation of historically oppressed
groups as victimized and damaged compared to a representation of
them as resilient and strong (p. 197). They point out the ethical respon-
sibility for qualitative researchers to resist the oversimplification of stories
of victimization without any evidence of resistance or agency or of heroic
stories of individuals who deny the difficulties they faced (Fine et al., 2003,
p. 198). Perhaps there is a need for more recognition that although hege-
monic femininity is an oppressive discourse in relation to young girls who
have been sexually abused, it also allows for greater acceptance of female
victims. Paradoxically this may enable more women than men to have a
voice and to work through their experiences more openly, leading to better
long-term adjustment than for male sexual abuse victims (Werner, 2005).
Gender Differences Between Narratives
Even though there were significant differences between the genders in
this research study, there were also similarities that must not be overlooked.
The main similarities were that both men and women tended to blame
themselves for what had happened to them as children, and most did not tell
anyone what was happening to them when young. The main reasons given
for this nondisclosure were feelings of fear, shame, and self-blame. Both
men and women went on to experience problems with intimacy, trust, and
other difficulties in adulthood, such as drug and alcohol problems and
depression and suicidality. However, there were also important gender dif-
ferences both in terms of their early sexual experiences, which were het-
erosexual in nature for all the women interviewed, and stemming from the
impact of gender socialization.
In Australia, as in the United States, the dominant cultural conception of
female sexuality has been that women are passive, devoid of desire, and subor-
dinate to male needs and desires (Tolman, Striepe, & Harmon, 2003, p. 6).
Gilligan (1982) believed that the female socialization process requires young
girls to suppress their masculine emotions, such as anger, to remain in emo-
tional connection with others, particularly men. Tolman (1994) described this as
an ironic tendency to silence their own thoughts and feelings for the sake of
relationships (p. 324), thereby placing women in the role of the passive victim.
Feminists have argued that women have been stereotypically divided
into Madonnas and whores (Welldon, 1988), good chaste girls or bad sex-
ually active girls (Tolman, 2002). Within this study, both these extremes of
behavior were evident to some extent, with some women describing them-
selves in a derogatory manner, such as Diana, describing herself as a tart
and Karen, using the words true hussy and biggest slut in the world to
describe herself in her 20s. Some described themselves as being unable to
say no to men when they were younger, whereas others avoided sexual inti-
macy. However, this polarized view of women was an oversimplification.
Many female participants believed the dominant cultural narrative that
their early sexual experiences had damaged and dirtied them. This social
construction of victimhood was entwined with beliefs about traditional
femininity (Tolman et al., 2003), because victims of child sexual abuse have
long been assumed to be female and victimizers assumed to be male (Tolman
et al., 2003). Such beliefs have stigmatized women and ignored the gendered
social context of the crime of child sexual abuse (McCarthy, 1997). The
change of nomenclature from victim to survivor was intended to empower
women and has been described as the beginning of a move from the role
of silent victim to that of indignant survivor (Somer & Szwarcberg, 2001,
p. 332). However, some of these participants were questioning how successful
this move had been in reality.
One of the advantages for female participants was that they were more
likely to tell others earlier than men, perhaps because they placed greater
value on relationships. Many developed a relational sense of self either as
protectors of others, as seekers of justice, or as people who break the cycle
of abusive behavior within their family. They were often motivated to do
this by having children of their own. They became effective at mobilizing
their anger and placing the blame on their abusers (Lev-Wiesel, 2000).
Some were able to use their own strengths and resources to overcome their
childhood maltreatment without any support from their families, thereby
demonstrating the quality that Werner (2005) sees in women of being
able to find strengths from within. This can be seen in some ways as
nonstereotypical behavior, which sometimes cost them dearly in terms of
their long-term relationships with their families.
By contrast, young boys were taught, through gender socialization, not
to express their emotions. This emotional inexpressiveness can have nega-
tive consequences for men (Englar-Carlson, 2006) and prevent them from
expressing what are seen as feminine traits, such as weakness or vulnera-
bility (Mezey & King, 2000). Emotions associated with vulnerability, such
as fear or sadness, are particularly taboo (Briere & Scott, 2006). As a result,
the typical Australian male, whether we talk about the bushman, the bat-
tler, the larrikin, or the suburban ocker, understands masculinity as
machismo and thinks that being masculine means being tough, forceful,
and aggressively defensive (Tacey, 1995, p. 51).
According to Kia-Keating and her colleagues (Kia-Keating, Grossman,
Sorsoli, & Epstein, 2005), when they experience early victimization, some
men are torn between their desire to accept traditional masculine roles and
the risk of being labeled as effeminate if they reveal their victim status. As
a result they are less likely to disclose their early sexual experiences with
adults to others. Those male participants who had early sexual experiences
with other men feared either that they had been chosen by their victimizer
because of their own hidden homosexual traits, that they would become
homosexual as a result, or that they would be believed to be homosexual if
others knew about their experiences.
Male participants who had early sexual experiences with women were
also distressed, particularly if their experiences had been with their own
mothers. As Dorais (2002) pointed out, There is an assumption that a real
man would not allow himself to be dependent, vulnerable, weak, or pas-
sive; that a real man or boy knows how to avoid problems (p. 17). This
makes it hard for boys to ask for help or to tell anyone what is happening
to them. Perhaps partly as a result of this, male participants who volun-
teered for this study were more likely than female participants to be expe-
riencing depression or to be having problems in their intimate lives or
relationships at the time of the interview.
There was evidence in this study of extremes of masculine behavior,
with some men becoming stoical and trying to appear normal and others
becoming aggressive as young men both physically and sexually.
According to Levant (1997), some sexually abused boys act out an extreme
form of hypermasculinity in terms of behaving aggressively, striving for
sexual conquests, and resorting to nonrelational sex.
It is also known that if a man has been sexually abused as a child, this
increases the risk of his moving from victim to offender and going on to
sexually abuse others, even though most do not (Salter et al., 2003). Given
that boys do not value relationships in the same way that girls do, have
fewer relational skills, and are restricted emotionally, they may find it even
harder than girls to recover from the relational injury caused by early sexual
experiences (Hunter, 2007) and to experience more psychiatric symptoms
in adulthood (Gold, Lucenko, Elhai, Swingle, & Sellers, 1999). Society has
been reluctant to view boys as victims of child sexual abuse, partly because
men are still seen as predators (G. R. Holmes, Offen, & Waller, 1997). Until
the problem of sexual abuse of boys becomes more widely acknowledged,
it seems unlikely that men will talk of these experiences.
Lisak (1997) argued that for men in particular,
the result of child sexual abuse often is a relatively disconnected experience
of sexuality, in which intense emotions are suppressed, and there is an
impaired capacity for empathy. Both these impairments increase the males
capacity for sexually exploitative or sexually violent behavior. (p. 174)
Clearly, there is a need for a great deal more research to explain the com-
plicated dynamics that lead some men and women to continue the abuse
cycle into the next generation (Sullivan, Mullen, & Pathe, 2005).
Conclusions
This research project was conducted in an unconventional manner in that
those interviewed were not survivors of child sexual abuse but men and
women who had had an early sexual experience with an adult. As a result,
four narratives emerged that go beyond the victim and survivor discourse.
The influence of the victim and survivor discourse was examined and was
shown to offer some people, particularly women, a sense of solidarity with
other victim or survivors. For others, particularly men, these discourses
were seen as limiting, stigmatizing, and unhelpful.
There were many ways in which both men and women were able to
overcome or transcend their early sexual experiences by developing a
coherent narrative about these experiences. As adults, most had been able
to view their own behavior as understandable, given the difficult circum-
stances that they faced as children, and to place responsibility in the hands
of their victimizers. Some, particularly women, told narratives of ongoing
suffering or transformation whereas others, particularly men, told the para-
doxical narrative of silence or rejected the victim and survivor discourse
and told narratives of transcendence. Further research is required to estab-
lish the veracity of the apparent gender differences between these narratives.
However, the ability of both men and women to create meaning out of child-
hood adversity delivers a message of hope for the future (Frankl, 1992).
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