Journey To Motherhood

Journey to Motherhood e-Book
by Lana Jordan
Copyright 2006 Jorlan Publishing, Inc.
All rights reserved. No part of this e-Book may be reproduced or
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Gifts from the earth for your gift from heaven!

~ T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S ~
~ B O O K M A R K S ~

Journey to Motherhood

Pregnancy & Childbirth
from a Mothers Perspective
by Lana Jordan
Purchase soft cover copies online:
J ourney to Motherhood
Soft cover copies are also available by mail. Send $8.00 for the first
book and $5.25 for each additional (same delivery address) to:
J ORLAN PUBLISHING
P.O. Box 2882
Cedar City, Utah 84721

Journey to Motherhood e-Book
by Lana Jordan
Copyright 2006 Jorlan Publishing, Inc.
All rights reserved.
No part of this e-Book may be reproduced or transmitted without
prior written permission from the publisher. The
FreePregnancyBook.com website is the only authorized means
of distribution. If you would like to share Journey to Motherhood,
please refer family, friends, and others interested in pregnancy
and childbirth to www.FreePregnancyBook.com to download
their free copies. Thank you and we hope you enjoy Journey
to Motherhood! www.J orlanPublishing.com

Library of Congress Control Number: 2001091475
ISBN 0-9710696-0-3

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS:
I owe a special debt of gratitude to all the mothers who entrusted me
with their personal experiences and agreed to share them with the
world. THANK YOU!

IMPORTANT:
This book is intended to be used as a general guide for educational
and entertainment purposes only. It is distributed with the understanding
that the author, contributors and publisher shall have neither liability nor
responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss or damage
caused, or alleged to have been caused, directly or indirectly by the
information provided herein.
Every effort has been made to assure accuracy, and to the best of
our knowledge, all information contained in this book represents reliable
facts and findings, and the honest and true experiences of the
contributors.
The author, contributors and publisher do not presume to make any
diagnosis or prescribe any treatment nor to engage in dispensing
medical advice, and assume no responsibility or liability for any
negligence or actions on the part of the reader relevant to this material.
Information in this book is not intended to be used as a substitute for
regular professional care.
If you do not wish to be bound by the above, please delete this file
from your computer.

Jorlan Publishing; P.O. Box 2882; Cedar City, UT 84721.

Clipart images on front cover and inside pages provided
by Corel MEGA GALLERY.

Below are the affiliate partners who help make it possible
for us to offer this e-Book for free. Please use these links for
your maternity and baby shopping needs. Thank you!

Pregnancy & Baby Resources:

Gifts from the earth for your gift from heaven!

T A B L E O F C O N T E N T S

Physician Reviews...............................................................iv

Prologue.............................................................................vi

Chapter 1:
On Cloud Nine.................................................................. 1
Fertilization & Implantation sidebar .........................................21

Chapter 2:
Care Providers ................................................................22
Medical Care Prices chart ......................................................46

Chapter 3:
For this child I prayed .............................................47

Chapter 4:
One, Two, Buckle Your Shoe............................................82

Chapter 5:
The Final Stretch!..........................................................101

Chapter 6:
Special Delivery.............................................................120

Epilogue..........................................................................198

Contributor Info...............................................................200

P H Y S I C I A N R E V I E W S

In my 36 years of practicing and teaching obstetrical,
gynec-ological, and clinical medicine, I have never come across
such an informative book. I can highly recommend Journey to
Motherhood to all expectant mothers for successful completion
of the parturition endeavor. I also recommend this book to all
medical professionals because it allows us to see the patients
perspective of the childbearing experience.
It is my feeling that in Journey to Motherhood, Lana
Jordan has pinpointed with great accuracy the absolute need for
such information. This book has bridged a long-standing gap
between the medical profession and mothers-in-waiting.
With the utmost accuracy in medical information, this
inspiring guide will be sure to educate and inform all readers of
this most unique and beautiful aspect of life.
Srbislav N. Brasovan, M.D., F.A.C.O.G.

Procreation was a major concern of every civilization
during the 4,000 years of recorded history. Indeed, the
prevalence of births over deaths signified an auspicious outlook
for societys survival. The family took up the role of the basic
social unit entrusted with rearing children, but the mother was
the kernel of it.
In Journey to Motherhood, the author presents to readers
a compassionate, sensitive, yet realistic view of modern women
struggling to achieve this lofty goal. The extraordinary courage,
persistence, dedication, stamina, and faith of these women
driven by an overwhelming desire to bring their babies into the
world is reflected in comments from participating mothers.
The medical text is informative, well researched, and
balanced as regards the alternatives of treatment that modern
medicine offers. It will help readers to shake off the fear of the
unknown. I recommend this book to all expectant mothers as
useful, interesting, and inspiring.
Douglas N. Proden, M.D.

iv

to my husband and children

v

P R O L O G U E

Get comfortable and settle in for a unique reading
experience. We could be awhile. So set aside some leisure
time, perhaps while in the waiting room at the doctors office.
Who knows, maybe youll even be a little annoyed when your
name is called a couple of hours from now.
Weve heard from the experts whose qualifications come
mostly from textbooks and observation...the M.D.s, the Ph.D.s,
the O.B.s, the G.Y.N.s, the F.A.C.O.G.s, the C.N.M.s, and the
R.N.s, but what about the unabbreviated MOMs, whose
knowledge comes from active participation in the entire process
of pregnancy and childbirth?
These women of all ages and from all walks of life have
been down that road themselves and are willing to tell of their
travels. The full knowledge of motherhood comes only from the
book of life, in which all of us have left our mark and from which
we have learned reams.
Others may leave you wondering, But what is it really
like? Not a typical pregnancy book, this volume will hopefully
not only answer that question, but many more besides. With the
candid insights and personal experiences of over thirty mothers
to complement the standard medical fare, it has the power to
take you beyond merely comprehending to understanding as
you walk with each woman along her individual passage into
motherhood.
Women love to share and hear pregnancy stories. Theres
a certain camaraderie in it. The idea for this book was conceived
when that simple realization hit me while I was pregnant with my
second child. Of course mothers want and need to know the
factual, textbook side of pregnancy, but not to the exclusion of
the personal, real life aspect of it that can only come from the
voice of experience.
The comments from participating mothers appear at the
beginning and end of each chapter. In many cases names have
been changed in order to protect the privacy of the respondents.
Refer to the Contributor Info chart on page 200 for more
information about each mother.

vi

It can get confusing trying to keep up with them all,
especially considering some of the name similarities I ended up
with: two Karens; a Diane and a Dyanne; a Jayne and a June; a
Laurel, a Lauri, and a Lori; a Marcia and a Marie; a Sandi and a
Sandra; a Stefanie and a Stepheni! I hope you find the chart
helpful.
My own experiences head off each section. After
vascillating back and forth between including them or excluding
them, I finally decided that I couldnt very well ask others to do
something that I wasn't willing to do myself. So, Ive stuck my
neck right out there along with everyone elses and led the way
by going first.
I questioned mothers at home, at work, at the beauty salon,
on the playground, over the phone, during halftime, through the
mail, in absentia, etc. Frequently the personal interviews were
conducted amidst numerous interruptions, mainly from our
childreninadvertently yet somewhat appropriately leaving their
own indelible mark on this work, as if to reinforce the adage
which maintains that it isnt easy, but theyre worth it.
Husbands, too, made an impressionand in some cases I
wont say what kind! One participants husband blundered into
the room at the conclusion of our interview, and upon surveying
the scene astutely remarked, Is this woman chat? Recording it?
For what, posterity? Yes, on all counts.
What follows is a compilation of data consisting of not only
the woman chat, but also the relevant information Ive gleaned
from countless sources including reference books, magazines,
brochures, and articles from libraries, the Internet, hospitals, and
medical offices. Within these pages, we see that the miracle of
life is brought about through the courage and love of mothers,
the support and love of fathers, the expertise and love of care
providers, and of course, the grace and love of God.
In writing this book, my purpose was to put together an
informative, up-to-date, and unique volume which would answer
the questions and alleviate the fears that often accompany
pregnancy, presented in a way that women could relate to.
Whether she is carrying her first child or her last, this book is for
the expectant mother...and father! So without further ado, lets
embark together on a fascinating Journey to Motherhood...on
Cloud Nine!

vii

O n C l o u d N i n e 1
c h a p t e r
1
O n C l o u d N i n e

Pregnancy and childbirth is the most magnificent,
monumental, and emotional phenomenon of the human
experience. When our son came out, and the doctor said,
Its a boy! I nearly fainted from euphoria. My husband
said, Its a boy?! Are you sure? He was so excited.
Sandra

Ever since our first parents were given the
commandment to be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish
the earth,
1
couples have eagerly anticipated the birth of
their children. The thrill of partnership with the Lord in the
creation of life is unrivaled. There is nothing to compare
with the experience of carrying and bringing forth a new
life. Yet that's not to say that there aren't anxious
moments, and plenty of them. But motherhood is worth it.
Finding out that you're going to have a baby is sure to be
one of the most singular events of your lifetime!
Whether youre already pregnant or hope to be soon,
the coming months will be full of change and excitement.
The increased hormonal activity and growth of the baby
may affect you emotionally as well as physically.
Explaining the myriad of feelings associated with
pregnancy is virtually impossible; complete understanding
comes only with experience, and often fades with time. As
a friend so eloquently put it, when youre pregnant you
cant remember what its like not to be, and when youre
not, you cant really remember what its like to be

1
Genesis 1:28.

C h a p t e r 1 2
pregnant! There is a lot to learn as well as remember
about pregnancy, and the best time to start is in the
weeks and months prior to conception...

Planning for Pregnancy

How will you prepare your childs first room? If visions
of stuffed animals and ruffled bedding are floating through
the imaginary bubble of your mind, put a pin to it. Were
not talking about down comforters and lacey priscillas, but
rich nutrients and a healthy womb! You are what you eat,
and so is your baby. Always be aware that whatever you
take into your body is passed on to your baby as well.
Even before attempting to get pregnant, a woman
should strive to establish a healthy, nurturing environment
for her unborn child within her own body, just as lovingly
and with the same attention to detail which she will later
exert in the preparation of a place for the baby within the
home.
Diet and nutritional intake are more crucial during
pregnancy than at any other time of a womans life.
Inadequate consumption of calories and nutrients can
result in an insufficient increase of blood volume. Bear in
mind, however, that eating for two does not literally
mean double portions at every meal, but rather sensible
selections from the four basic food groups which provide
the highest nutritional value and benefit for both mother
and child.
Of course, this is often easier said than done if
pregnancy affects a womans appetite and/or her ability to
keep food down. That is one of many reasons for the
advisability of establishing a healthy diet prior to
conception, as it can help form vital reserves which can
then be drawn upon when the need arises. More
importantly, nutritional requirements should be considered
even before a woman conceives because an embryos
growth and development are at the most critical stages

during the weeks immediately following conception, which
is generally quite awhile before the mother is even aware
that she is pregnant.
To protect your child, the weeks and months before
achieving pregnancy are also the optimum time to
eliminate any potentially harmful substances from your
lifestyle, including tobacco, alcohol, and addictive drugs,
which are known teratogens.
2
No degree of justification
outweighs certain indisputable medical facts on the
subject or excuses putting a baby at risk. Persisting in the
consumption of substances which are scientifically
documented to pose a threat to a developing fetus can
cause serious birth defects or even death in utero.
Cigarette smoke contains up to 4,000 chemicals,
some of which may harm a developing fetus in ways that
might not be manifested for several years through
problems such as mild hearing loss or lowered intellectual
functioning. Various toxic elements such as carbon
monoxide, nicotine, and cyanide interfere with the supply
of blood, nutrients, and oxygen to the baby. The resulting
damage can be devastating and long lasting.
Studies have shown that smoking during pregnancy
increases the risk of miscarriage, premature birth, stillbirth,
low birth weight, sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) or
crib death, and hyperactivity. Low birth weight babies may
have difficulty breathing as well as poor temperature
control and decreased resistance to infection. They may
also demonstrate a marked indisposition to feeding.
Passive or secondhand tobacco smoke should also
be avoided by pregnant women. Even after birth, a baby
is likely to be adversely affected by ingesting nicotine
through breast milk or by inhaling secondhand smoke,
which can cause susceptibility to upper respiratory
infections, bronchitis, pneumonia, and asthma.
Drinking alcoholic beverages while pregnant can

2
Agents causing nutritional weaknesses and birth defects or
developmental malformations and abnormalities.

C h a p t e r 1 4
cause serious birth defects. Moderate to heavy drinking
during pregnancy can result in fetal alcohol syndrome
(FAS), which may be manifested in the baby through brain
damage, mental retardation, growth deficiency, facial
abnormalities, organ abnormalities, heart defects, learning
disabilities, hyperactivity, behavioral problems, lack of
muscular coordination, etc. The more the mother drinks,
the more severe the consequences can be to her child.
Alcohol enters the fetuss bloodstream through the
placenta in the same concentration as in the mothers, but
remains there longer than in hers because the
underdeveloped fetal liver is unable to metabolize it
efficiently. The effects of alcohol on an unborn child can
be far reaching and extensive.
Many obstetricians advise against drinking alcoholic
beverages at all even before becoming pregnant, and
especially during pregnancy. The Food and Drug
Administration (FDA) states that as there is no known safe
level of alcohol consumption with no risk involved,
pregnant women should abstain from drinking altogether.
Ingesting excessive amounts of caffeine is also
inadvisable, as this stimulant has been associated with
miscarriage and reduced fertility. Physicians and the FDA
recommend that pregnant women reduce or eliminate
consumption of foods and beverages containing caffeine
(coffee, tea, [medicinal] drugs, and soft drinks are sources
of the highest levels of caffeine). Postum, herbal teas,
and caffeine-free colas can safely be substituted for their
potentially harmful counterparts.
Research clearly indicates that mind-altering,
addictive drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, and heroin
can have many adverse effects on a developing fetus.
Women using such drugs are strongly urged to seek
medical consultation and assistance in breaking their
addiction before attempting to conceive.
Psychedelic drugs such as heroin and cocaine cross
the placenta and cause addiction in babies born to women
who use them. These helpless infants experience painful

withdrawal symptoms which may require sedation for
weeks after birth. Many do not survive. Alarmingly high
concentrations of addictive drugs are also found in
maternal milk. Nursing infants can become addicted and
exhibit withdrawal symptoms whenever breast feeding is
delayed or discontinued.
The word drugs encompasses not only illegal,
controlled substances, but also over-the-counter and
prescribed medications. Excessive use of aspirin during
pregnancy, for example, can result in a life-threatening
condition called abruptio placentae, or separation of the
placenta from the uterus. Almost all drugs will reach the
fetus via the placenta, but because of obvious safety
concerns and risk factors, most of them have not been
tested on humans for use during pregnancy. So for many
medicinal drugs, data is limited regarding specific effects
on the unborn child.
A pregnant woman should always check with her
doctor regarding the correct dosage and safety of all
medications and dietary supplements during pregnancy or
while breastfeeding. Even some vitamins perceived as
harmless can have potentially devastating effects on a
developing fetus. Megadoses of vitamin A, for example,
can cause birth defects, as can Accutane, a close relation
dispensed by pres-cription only for the treatment of acne.
Heed the FDA warning labels routinely printed on both
over-the-counter and prescription drugs.
Other vitamins and nutrients can be very beneficial to
both mother and child when taken in safe dosages. For
instance, medical research indicates that folic acid plays a
significant role in cell division and thus in the formation of
the brain, neural tube, and other vital organs during the
first few weeks of pregnancy. Taking a daily vitamin
supplement containing 400mcg of folic acid a few months
before becoming pregnant as well as throughout
pregnancy can significantly decrease the risk of neural
tube birth defects and premature birth. Recent studies
also suggest that antioxidants (vitamins C, E, and A/Beta-

C h a p t e r 1 6
Carotene) may prevent complications such as
preeclampsia as well as reduce the risks of contracting
certain forms of cancer or other serious illnesses not
related to pregnancy.
Fruits and vegetables are a rich natural source of
antioxidants and folic acid, particularly the dark green and
orange, citrus, and leafy varieties, such as oranges,
lemons, broccoli, avocadoes, lettuce, and carrots. Nuts
also contain some of these nutrients. Many such foods
are a healthy and safe source of essential vitamins and
minerals, but vitamin supplements are also highly
advisable in order to assure adequate intake and proper
absorption.
Again, although antioxidants and folic acid are
available in tablet form over the counter, consult your
doctor before taking any dietary supplements. Chances
are that even before you actually become pregnant, he or
she will prescribe prenatal multivitamin/multimineral
supplements containing the extra recommended daily
allowance of vitamins and minerals your body will need to
nourish both yourself and your baby. Should you prefer to
continue your own vitamin program, just be sure it has the
doctors stamp of approval!
Even with a green light from a doctor, many women
choose to err on the side of caution, preferring not to take
so much as one pain reliever during pregnancy if at all
possible, for fear of causing harm to the unborn child.
However, it is just as important to consult with your doctor
when discontinuing use of a medication or supplement as
when initiating it. Some medical conditions require
treatment even during pregnancy, and the doctors
recommendations in these cases will certainly take the
health of the baby into consideration, with only the safest
medications being dispensed.
Lastly, women who have been taking oral
contraceptives should seek medical advice before
becoming pregnant. A specified waiting period is often
recommended in order to allow the womans hormonal

levels and menstrual cycle to return to normal after
discontinuing birth control pills. A regular, consistent
menstrual period and well-kept records of its occurrence
are very important in determining an accurate due date.
Similarly, the uterus should be given sufficient time to
recover following the removal of an IUD.
In short, take good care of yourself and youll be
taking good care of your baby!

Taking the Test

The first sign of pregnancy for most women is the
cessation of the menstrual period. Other early indicators
are frequent urination, enlarged and tender breasts,
fatigue, and nausea. Symptoms such as these are good
cause for an excited flutter of hope and anticipation!
Learning youre pregnant can be one of the biggest
thrills of your life. And its easy to find outin the privacy of
your own home and without an appointment! Nowadays
confirmation of pregnancy does not necessitate an
immediate visit to the doctor, since usually a nearby drug
store will suffice.
There are several agglutination or home pregnancy
kits on the market to choose from, some of which indicate
a positive result when a line or other mark turns red in the
test window. Whichever brand you select (yours may be
blue!), the fundamentals are constant, as all such tests
operate under the same basic principledetermining the
presence (or lack thereof) of HCG.
3
When performing a
home pregnancy test, you are actually conducting a small
scale laboratory analysis in your own bathroom.
The accuracy (rates run as high as 99%) of the
results obtained from home pregnancy tests depends on

3
HCG (human chorionic gonadotrophin), a hormone secreted
from within the uterus by a fertilized egg, can be detected in
either the mother's blood or urine.

C h a p t e r 1 8
strict adherence to the instructions provided with the kit. If
your menstrual cycle does not resume within a few days
of a negative test result, retesting is advisable, as
accuracy rates for negative tests are slightly lower than
those for positive due to the possibility of mishandling of
the urine sample or premature testing. Do not test before
the recommended time, and preferably use first morning
urine as it will have the highest concentration of the HCG
hormone, provided you havent emptied your bladder
during the night or had anything to drink before collecting
the specimen.
Chances are that you have already bought a
pregnancy test, studied the directions carefully before
performing it, and observed a positive result. You may
have even confirmed this initial diagnosis with your doctor;
if not, make an appointment.

Prenatal Care and Testing

Prenatal care should commence early and continue
regularly throughout pregnancy to ensure a healthy
mother and baby, as well as to detect possible
complications, such as ectopic pregnancy (see Chapter
3). The first visit is generally the most thorough, requiring
a complete workup of your personal and family medical
history as well as a blood pressure check, weight and
height determination, urine and possibly blood samples to
be tested, a pelvic examination, Pap smear, and last but
certainly not least, communication!
You should be provided with information and
nutritional guide-lines pertaining to pregnancy. You should
also be given an opportunity to address any questions or
worries you may have and to discuss your individual
needs and conditions. Its a good idea to write these down
as they come to mind between appointments in the
coming months so that you dont forget to discuss them
with your care provider.

Some common questions include concerns about the
continuation of such physical activities as work, travel,
exercise, and sex. Generally speaking, life can go on as
usual unless you are directed otherwise by your doctor.
Maintaining fitness and stamina can help your body adjust
to pregnancy and prepare for labor and delivery. Of
course, strenuous exercise and sports are best avoided,
as are activities involving risk of injury, such as horseback
riding. Whenever an exertion appears ill advised, allow
common sense to prevail and refrain from participating.
Also, when bathing be sure that the water in your tub
or shower isnt too hot. Prolonged exposure to heat, such
as sitting in a sauna or hot tub should be strictly avoided
because excessive temperatures may be harmful to the
baby.
During the initial visit you should also be given an
approximate date for the new arrivals grand entrance.
The babys due date is calculated by adding 280 days or
two weeks plus nine months to the starting date of your
last menstrual period. Another commonly used formula in
the calculation of a due date is subtracting three months
from the date of the last menstrual cycle and adding
seven days. Or, if you prefer, the most popular method of
all is to simply let the doctors office crunch the numbers
for you! Bear in mind that the due date is only the
anticipated arrival time, give or take a week or two.
Although gestation is normally 40 weeks, there can be so
many variables that the actual birth date hinges on a lot
more than mathematics!
Subsequent regularly scheduled checkups typically
consist of obtaining a urine sample, standing on the
scales, taking a blood pressure reading, and measuring
the abdomen to monitor growth of the uterus. From about
the 10th week of pregnancy on, the obstetric professional
also routinely checks the fetal heartbeat. Replacing the
traditional stethoscope or fetoscope for this evaluation,

C h a p t e r 1 10
the Doppler
4
sound-detection device is most often the
instrument of choice today.
Blood pressure is monitored for warning signs of
preeclampsia.
5
The purpose of regular urinalysis is to
screen for any indication of gestational diabetes, urinary
tract infection, and preeclampsia. Blood samples may be
taken periodically for various tests, including a glucose
screening to determine blood sugar level during the
second or third trimester.
The routine version, a glucose challenge test,
involves drinking an unpleasantly sweet beverage called
glucola a specified amount of time prior to having the
blood drawnand as with so many medical procedures,
instructions must be followed precisely to ensure an
accurate result. Low blood sugar can cause inordinate
fatigue, whereas high blood sugar is a symptom of
gestational diabetes. Should the original results return
indicative of a problem, a second, more definitive version,
the glucose tolerance test, is then administered. This one
is not only more accurate, but also far more thorough and
time consuming, requiring collection of blood and urine
samples at regular intervals over a period of several
hours.
Blood tests also identify blood type, anemia, Rh
factor (positive or negative), and alpha-fetoprotein
6
levels.
(See Ch. 3 for more detailed information relating to
Rhesus incompatibility, anemia, and other complications.)
They also show whether or not the mother has an
immunity to rubella or German measles, which could be

4
Electronic flow imaging instrument.
5
Serious condition marked by swelling, weight gain, and
dangerously high blood pressure or hypertension.
6
Alpha-fetoprotein (AFP) is a protein produced by all unborn
babies and present in the mother's blood. AFP levels can date
the pregnancy, signal an impending miscarriage, betoken the
presence of twins, indicate normal development, and detect
certain abnormalities such as spina bifida and Down syndrome.

very harmful to the unborn child if contracted during
pregnancy.
Occasionally various other prenatal tests are
performed as needed, ranging in complexity from a
relatively harmless ultrasound to more invasive
procedures such as amniocentesis. The most common of
these are briefly highlighted in this section, as follows:
Ultrasonography or ultrasound consists of low
energy pulsed sound waves with high-frequency
vibrations which, when directed into the uterus, bounce off
various tissues to produce echoes that are converted into
an image or sonogram of the fetus, placenta, and
amniotic cavity on a television monitor. Ultrasound
examinations may be scheduled for the purpose of
determining the babys age (at 14-17 weeks) and general
well-being, the position and condition of the placenta,
physical abnormalities, and the presence of more than
one baby. This test is also able to show the sex of the
child, although it is seldom ordered merely for this
purpose. Although generally considered safe when used
sparingly, studies indicate that repeated ultrasound scans
may have an adverse effect on fetal growth, which can
result in low birth weights.
Amniocentesis is a diagnostic procedure which
requires the insertion of a long hypodermic-like needle
through the abdominal wall and into the uterus in order to
obtain a sample of amniotic fluid. The chromosomes of
the cells found therein are carefully examined for
abnormalities or genetic disorders. Evaluating
chromosome patterns can predict the babys health and
sex. Risks associated with the procedure are
tremendously minimized due to modern advancements
such as the ultrasound, which the physician uses to guide
the needle away from the baby.
Electronic Fetal Monitoring (EFM) is a controversial
medical intervention used to record the babys heart rate
primarily during labor, but occasionally during pregnancy

C h a p t e r 1 12
as well. Ultrasound electrodes are placed on the mothers
abdomen and the babys heart beats register on a nearby
screen. EFM is called into question not so much for its
ability to provide accurate data, but rather for the lack of
agreement on how it should be interpreted. Research
shows that EFM contributes to rising cesarean rates and
interferes with the natural process of pregnancy and
childbirth while offering no statistical benefit to mother or
child. EFM can be a valuable diagnostic tool in signaling
fetal distress and other complications in high-risk
pregnancies. However, recent studies confirm that routine
use of electronic fetal monitoring is not warranted nor
recommended for low-risk pregnant women.
Be sure that your care provider includes you in all
aspects of prenatal testing. Dont be kept in the dark
through his or her omission or your own lack of
knowledge. Ask as many questions as necessary to gain
a comfortable understanding of tests to be administered
as well as their results. If necessary, insist that medical
terminology unfamiliar to you be translated to plain
English. Also be aware that retesting is advisable in some
instances, especially if the results were unexpected or the
testing process was flawed or tainted.
Perhaps the element of greatest importance in
prenatal care is the quality of the relationship and the
rapport between the mother and her doctor. Chapter 2
addresses the dilemma of finding a maternal care provider
and discusses the issues surrounding that choice today.
So if you dont already have someone lined up to provide
all this prenatal care, if youre considering a change, or if
you would just like more information on the subject, read
on.
Congratulations! Youre on cloud nine!

Contributors Comments:

Based on personal experience, I can certainly testify
to the importance of closely following the package
instructions regarding how and when to perform the
pregnancy test. When my husband and I decided late one
November that it was time for a second child, we were
reasonably certain I would become pregnant immediately,
considering the lightning speed with which I had
conceived our first. With Christmas just around the corner,
it occurred to me that the perfect stocking stuffer for my
husband would be a pregnancy test bearing a positive
result.
In the excitement of carrying out this plan, I didnt
read the product instructions very carefully, and
mistakenly concluded that the test could detect pregnancy
as early as the first day after conception, when in fact it
isnt effective until the first day after a missed period.
Figuring that I had probably conceived several weeks
before, I never doubted the surety of testing positive.
Imagine my disappointment early that Christmas
morning when I snuck into the downstairs bathroom to
prepare the stocking stuffer to end all stocking stuffers,
and ended up with a negative test result!! Later, as we
sorted through the goodies Santa had left, my husbands
response to my sorrowful tale of the stuffer that might
have been, brought out the humor in the situation. Oh,
well, he said matter-of-factly, Im not sure Id want a
urine stick in my Christmas stocking anyway!
This fertile Myrtle tested positive shortly thereafter.
Lana

Taking the pregnancy testwe were so excited, yet
did not want to be disappointed. We really had to
convince ourselves that the test was positive. That little
red strip was not red enough, it was more like pink. Did

C h a p t e r 1 14
that mean I was pregnant? When we finally decided that it
did mean I was pregnant, I was overwhelmed (just for a
moment) with fearwhat had we done? There was no
turning back now, we were on our way to parenthood.
Marie

When I was pregnant with our daughter, if I got sick it
would come really suddenly, out of the blue. And thats
how I discovered I was pregnant with our first son. A
couple of days before I was to leave for the trip from Hong
Kong to the States, I realized that my period was late, but
I thought well, it was just the stress of getting ready for
this big trip. And then when I was on the airplane with her
(she was not quite one year old), all of a sudden I felt
really sick and I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I
thought, Oh, no, Im pregnant, because it came so fast.
Its funny, you forget things about the first pregnancy until
you get pregnant the second time. Then you start
remembering all those little discomforts. Sandi

One way I can tell Im pregnant is that I grow in my
chest area first. Thats a dead giveaway, even before I
take a test. My husband always says its too bad just
certain parts cant grow, and not your stomach! It seems
like every part of me gets huge. But its fun. I really enjoy
being pregnant. I just feel excited and happy, especially
after the sickness. When youre alone and youre
pregnant, and you know the babys in there, you just say a
prayer of thanks. You just feel really lucky, and youre
excited for it to come into the world so you can hold it in
your arms.
Deidre

I love the feeling of being pregnant. I love the thought
of knowing that a human being is growing inside of me.

Its a very sacred feeling to me.
I always feel very special during pregnancy. I have a
real tender feeling towards my body, if that makes sense.
I just want to take really good care of myself, and I feel
this nurturing towards myself during pregnancy.
I love it when the baby moves. And I forget what
morning sickness is like until Im pregnant again. I love
everything about pregnancy except morning sickness. I
dont even mind labor and delivery! Diane

I had morning sickness, but I think a lot of it had to do
with the prenatal pill, too. That made me feel kind of
nauseous. Ive heard a lot of people complain [about
being pregnant], but I kind of like the feeling...because
you know someones in there. You get to feel it kick and
roll and I liked that. And then once the babys out, even
though its right there with you, in a sense that part of you
is gone. Karen S.

Id like to see the men try it! I enjoy it, though. I have
to realize how much I can really handle, because Im one
that would just keep having kids forever. I feel more
feminine when Im pregnant, I guess because we have so
many farm chores Im not expected to do. You know, I
keep my fingernails polished and everything, and I enjoy
that. Emily

I took the four-hour glucose test, which was really
fun. I had to go in the morning and drink the icky stuff and
then I sat around for four hours and they drew blood.
They draw blood right before they start the test and then
again every hour for three hours afterwards.
I looked like a heroine addict when I left! Sharon

C h a p t e r 1 16
I had an ultrasound right after I learned I was
pregnant with our son because they had to make sure he
wasnt a tubal, and then I had another one later because I
was measuring big and they thought I was going to have
twins. An intern was checking me with the heartbeat
machine and he said, I hear two heartbeats in there! And
so they sent me in for another ultrasound, thinking that I
was going to have twins. But, I didnt, and then we found
out he was a boy. I wanted to know.
We didnt know our daughter was a girl. We wanted
to be surprised that time. Oh, it was great! I loved it! It was
just the neatest feeling when she came out and the doctor
goes, Its a girl! It just flooded all through me, because
we didnt have a clue. I thought she was a girl for awhile,
then I thought she was a boy, and I didnt really know at
all. I did not have an idea. And it was really neat. Were
going to be surprised again next time. Angela

We feel that we were blessed when we tried to get
pregnant. It only took one month. Weve heard of couples
taking years to get pregnant, and for us it happened so
quick.
A few days before my period was due I remember
getting a little bit of cramping so I thought for sure I wasnt
pregnant. But I didnt get my period so I did a home
pregnancy test. This one has a window that shows either
a plus sign or a negative sign. When I did the test, a faint
positive sign showed in the window. We were so happy!
We couldnt believe it.
We decided not to say anything until I was further
along. I didnt go to the doctor until later, and at that visit I
was given the doctors YES and a due date. My husband
and I again were so happy because yes, it was true, we
were going to have a baby!!! At that point we told
everyone. Marcia

The first one, both of us really had a strong feeling
that it was going to be a boy. With our second son we had
an ultrasound and they couldnt see any distinguishing
characteristics, so they just made a guess that he was a
girl. I really hadnt planned for a girl because I knew they
couldnt tell for sure, and so I had an open mind to either.
Actually, I was happy that his older brother had a brother,
so they could play together and stuff. And with our third
son they saw something once, and then they couldnt get
back to it again and so they went on the assumption that it
was a boy but they werent really sure.
I think the next one Im going to have it be a surprise.
As long as theyre healthy and have all their parts, thats
all thats important. Id just rather not know whether its
going to be a boy or a girl. Gail

I did about three home pregnancy tests before it
finally showed positive. I was very excited! The first sign
was severe breast tenderness.
I think ultrasounds are very neat and my fellow
nurses and I often do them on each other at work just to
look at the baby and watch it move, suck its thumb, etc. I
did not want to find out the [babys] sex. Lauri

Not knowing the sex of the baby was a thrill. My
husband and I totally feel this way. I mean, you know you
have a 50/50 chance that itll be either a boy or a girl, but
not knowing somehow just causes a special euphoric
feeling that can compare to nothing else. There was no
more thrilling moment, in my entire life, and his, than the
moment when they said, Its a boy!"
Thats what he really wanted, deep down, even
though it was most important just to have a healthy baby.
He kind of wanted to have a boy first, to be a big brother.
Sandra

C h a p t e r 1 18
Every single one of them was different. There is no
truth to the rumor that you have a different kind of
pregnancy for a different sex of child because all of mine
are boys, and every pregnancy was different.
I know it was probably important to do it at the time,
but I hate the glucose tolerance test. That was a real
awful test. And for some reason, I would test high on the
initial test, but I didnt have any of the other symptoms of
gestational diabetes. Then they would want me to take the
second one, and when Id take that, it didnt show
anything unusual. That happened most of my
pregnancies. The midwife didnt do a glucose tolerance
test, which didnt bother me at all. Jayne

When I first find out Im pregnant, Im full of different
emotions. Im excited about a new baby coming to our
family, but Im also concerned about the babys health as
well as my own. I get very emotional. I have family and
friends that dont think I should have so many children.
They are worried I wont be around long enough to raise
them.
I think the hardest part of being pregnant is picking
the right name for the baby! It has to be perfect and not
the same as anyone we know. Stepheni

I loved the thought of a new life inside me. But at the
same time there was fear of being responsible for
someone other than myself and having to care for this
person. I had a lot of questions and concerns. What would
he look like? Would he love me? What should we name
him/her? Should we find out the sex?
Whats up with this pain in my boobs? When will the
nausea end? When can I tell my friends? Im already
gaining weight...whats my body going to look like?
Helena

The first feeling I always remember is excitement at
just the idea of being pregnant and knowing that there
was a little someone growing inside of me, and thinking
about who the person is and what they will be like. Usually
always, even before I knew I was pregnant, each time in
the beginning I noticed how tired I felt not just tired but
also very drowsy and able to fall asleep very easily. Lori

Its all very interesting and very challenging. Every
one is different. I dont think any of my births were old hat,
same thing as before.
I had problem pregnancies. A lot of times I would
threaten miscarriage. I was always really excited and
relieved when I felt that first little flutter. Im here, Mommy!
Im right here!
We never decided on a number. We had a
miscarriage, and then we had a baby girl, which was what
I always wanted. I lost my only sister. I thought little girls
were really specialI had brothers. So after she was born,
we felt so lucky. And then we lost her to viral
pneumonia...theres nothing there after you lose your first
baby, nothing to fall back on. Before that, wed always
said, Well, I guess well have six, somewhere around
there, if my health was good.
We talked about it and said, Well just tell the Lord
well take whatever comes, just dont ever take our babies
away from us again! Well just make the best of it and
have whatever children the Lord sends. Of course, we
didnt know he was going to send us thirteen! But we
promised the Lord if hed send em wed take em! And we
never said, Well, weve got to stop this thing. We just
kept saying, Well, I wonder how many were going to
have?!
I was always being told, Youre having your babies
too close, youre going to kill yourself! My mother used to
say, My greatest fear is that youre going to die and Im
going to be left with all these kids to raise! The more I

C h a p t e r 1 20
had, the more she worried. People would ask, How many
are you going to have, you guys? One of our smart-aleck
answers was, Well count them up when were through
and then well let you know. Because in other words, we
dont know. So thats how we came to have the thirteen.
I think its just an individual thing, and its a matter of
health. You have to do what feels right to you. You dont
purposely throw away all caution. In those days, we didnt
have much in the way of birth control except the condom
and the rhythm method, which doesnt work too good.
Nowadays theres choices, so you better hope you make
the right one.
This is a real special, precious gift the Lord has given
you. Its not just another baby. Its a real special spirit.
Have a little faith that the Lord is going to help you along if
you have the right attitude. Even if youre not religious, a
lot of times if you go with your natural feelings instead of
letting the ways of the world influence you, your maternal
instincts come through and help you. Louise


Fertilization and Implantation

En route to the uterus, the mature egg(s) proceed from the ovary to
the fallopian tube, guided along by the hairlike extensions of millions of
cilia lining the tube. During the course of this journey, an encounter
with live sperm (male sex cells) can result in fertilization.
Upon ejaculation into the vaginal cavity, up to 400 million sperm
struggle to survive the rigors of locating an egg. Their numbers are
rapidly diminished as they attempt to pass through the cervix and
uterus in order to reach the Fallopian tubes. There are many casualties
along the way, as the difficult course could be likened to a biological
marathon of sorts: first, the sperm must contend with acidic fluids
within the vaginal vault; next, the few thousand survivors pass through
the small opening of the cervix and fight their way to the Fallopian
tubes; finally, even fewer in number now, the more tenacious ones
remaining press on in search of the elusive egg, with only a 50/50
chance of even choosing the right tube. Only the strongest and
healthiest spermatozoons reach the fertilization point, and of these only
one will actually penetrate the protective shell surrounding the egg and
successfully fertilize it.
The nuclei of the sperm and egg join together, combining their
genetic material, and the resulting zygote (fertilized egg) then
continues the descent down the Fallopian tube to the uterus,
embedding itself in the uterine lining where development into a human
embryo will commence. It is protected by a fluid-filled, membraneous
sac, or amnion.
In time, a fleshy, disk-like organ or placenta forms, attaching the
growing embryo to the uterus via an umbilical cord, through which vital
functions are performed, such as the transfer of oxygen and nutrients
from the mother to the baby. Waste products are also transported from
the embryo into the mothers bloodstream in this manner.
Over a period of weeks and months, the embryo grows and
develops. By the ninth week organs and body structures are
identifiable, and the baby is officially classified as a fetus.

C h a p t e r 2 22
c h a p t e r
2
C a r e P r o v i d e r s

I feel that our society should put pregnancies and births
back where they belongwith the mothers. We should be
able to choose who and what and when and where, and we
should not be overpowered by others to make these
decisions for us. I pray God will be with us and we can
have spiritual and personal gratification during these most
precious times in our lives.
Stepheni

I have often wondered how it must have been for
Mother Eve to be the first woman on earth to go through
the process of pregnancy and childbirth, with no one
experienced in those matters to assist and support her.
We are fortunate in this day and age to have so many
knowledgable and skilled obstetric professionals in our
communities.
Yet sometimes all the choices can be overwhelming.
When searching for the right obstetric health care provider
for you, it may seem almost tempting to simply revert to a
new variation of an old childhood rhyme: Eenie, meenie,
minie, moe, catch a doctor by the toe...But closing your
eyes and choosing someone at random from the phone
book is ill advised. Granted, the options available today
may seem exasperatingly limitless. But with a little effort,
you can systematically whittle the numbers down to a
select group from which an informed choice can be made.

C a r e P r o v i d e r s 23
Doctors

Obstetrician-Gynecologists (OB-GYNs) are highly
qualified specialists who are by far the most extensively
trained and educated of all maternity care providers.
Board certified OB-GYNs have completed a rigorous
certification program including medical school and a 4-
year residency in obstetrics and gynecology and have
passed a national examination in those fields. General
practitioners (GPs) are also medical doctors (MDs) and
have completed the same course of study as OBs with the
exception of the specialized training in obstetrics.
Throughout their education, physicians learn all about
the latest medical advances and are naturally inclined to
employ such devices as they practice medicine.
Interventionism is the umbrella term encompassing
virtually every aspect of modern medical technology,
including but not limited to prenatal testing, electronic fetal
monitoring, forceps, episiotomies, and cesareans. The
criticism is not aimed directly at the procedures
themselves, but more so at practi-tioners who overuse
them in order to avoid lawsuits, save time, or make more
money.
The medical profession is comprised of many
respectable and conscientious men and women dedicated
to bettering the lives of their patients. These doctors
genuinely care about the people they treat and are a
tribute to their chosen field. Unfortunately, as is often the
case in life, a few bad apples in the barrel can affect the
good. There are some individuals practicing medicine who
are driven by less than noble motives. And, of course, it is
these that upset the apple cart.
Studies indicate that the number of episiotomies and
cesareans has risen at an alarming rate in recent years.
Explanations for the inordinately high statistics vary, but
the current trend is most often blamed on one or more of
the following elements: the escalating incidence of
malpractice suits, the inevitable pressure of time con-

C h a p t e r 2 24
straints, and the relentless pursuit of even greater profit
margins! Originally intended for complicated or high risk
pregnancies, many interventions are now routinely
performed regardless of necessity.
Certainly no one wants to be subjected to
unnecessary medical procedures for the sake of saving a
doctor a little time or worry. It is unconscionable that a
physician would perform episiotomies and even
cesareans for reasons other than those warranted by
individual circumstances. If a physician is preoccupied
with a fear of litigation or a desire to save time and make
money to such an extent, it will definitely be reflected in
his track record. Doctors whose surgical rates are
consistently and unaccountably above the accepted norm
should be strictly avoided.
But keep in mind that the indictment isnt solely
against doctors. Most unnecessary interventions can be
largely attributed to equally unnecessary lawsuits.
Although many lawsuits are justified and result from clear
negligence on the part of the defendant, many others
could safely be considered frivolous and groundless at the
very least. In most cases of excessive testing, monitoring,
etc., physicians are simply taking steps to elude this
threatening occupational hazard. They are attempting to
minimize their own liability while maximizing patient
outcomes. This falls under the heading of defensive
medicine.
In the interest of maintaining a balanced perspective,
we must realize that people cant have it both ways. On
the one hand, they complain about physician intervention
during birth, but on the other hand, they sue the doctors
socks off if anything goes wrong. Doctors just cant seem
to win for losing. Theyre either too attentive or not
attentive enough.
Everyone pays the price for this double standard, not
just the doctors and insurance companies. Ultimately, its
usthe patientswho are picking up the tab. As illustrated
by the chart on page 46, medical care prices have risen

dramatically over the last thirty years. These increases are
also reflected in soaring insurance costs.
Obviously, inflation and other factors also figure into
the equation, but theres no escaping the fact that we are
all paying for those court judgments one way or another.
And the price exacted is not merely monetary; somewhere
along the way we lose the human touch.
Indeed, when doctors are held accountable for the
outcome of a delivery even if circumstances were beyond
their control, they are effectively forced to practice
defensive medicine. On such a playing field, a physician
might understandably find it difficult to establish a good
rapport with patients, knowing that a malpractice suit
could be looming on the horizon should he or she fail to
deliver a perfect baby.
Of course we are right to expect competence and
integrity from the medical community; but we cant expect
unwavering perfection from mere human beings. Some
outcomes could not have been altered by any doctor or
any means known to man. Only God can guarantee
perfection.

Rapport

Improving doctor-patient relationships would be
mutually beneficial. The general consensus seems to be
that physicians go to great lengths to stay out of court by
overusing modern technology. In the process, they often
fail to incorporate the old fashioned method of doctoring
having a good rapport with patients and showing a
genuine interest in their well-being. This simple tenet may
very well be the crux of the newfound respect and
acceptance which midwives are currently enjoying;
women want that personalized level of care.
Although a person doesnt go to a physician primarily
for emotional support, but rather for his or her medical
expertise, a little human interaction goes a long way for

C h a p t e r 2 26
most patients and is greatly appreciated if not expected.
Every doctor cant be all things to all people, but that
doesnt mean empathy has to fall by the wayside. There
are plenty of physicians out there who have achieved an
equitable balance between the modern and traditional
approach to obstetrics. If this is an area of importance to
you, find one.
Because of heavy caseloads, doctors have many
demands on their time and often cant allot long office
visits or stay with a patient throughout labor and delivery.
There are only so many hours in a day. As a result,
women may feel rushed and even hesitant to delay them
any further with questions or concerns. The patient quite
often carries the burden of keeping those vital lines of
communication open with the doctor.
Remember that your doctor probably sees hundreds
of patients a year. Take it upon yourself to ask questions
and even remind the doctor of what transpired at a
previous visit; if the doctor mentioned scheduling a lab
test, ultrasound, cesarean, or other procedure but never
followed through, make it a point to find out why. If you go
to a group practice and see different doctors, be certain
that the findings or observations of one have been shared
with the others. Standing idly by can have tragic results,
as many can attest to. In short, take an active part in your
own maternal care.

Midwives

In case you hadnt heard, midwives are making a
comeback! They are carving a niche for themselves in
modern obstetrics and are enjoying a resurgence in
popularity. Why? Money, idealogy, and empathy. For
women who cant afford conventional obstetric care, or
who subscribe to a natural childbirth philosophy, or who
prefer a more personal form of care, midwives are
increasingly becoming a viable alternative.

Contemporary midwives are often quite different from
their counterparts of the past. Basically, there are two
groups of midwives today.
The traditional, direct-entry, or lay midwife is
generally self-taught by observing or perhaps assisting in
apprenticeship with other lay midwives and is not required
to have any formal obstetric training or certification. Local
laws vary regarding the licensing requirements for
practicing non-nurse midwives. Lay midwives are
generally limited solely to home or birthing center
deliveries. Check with state government offices to
determine the current and relevant regulations in your
area.
The professional certified nurse-midwife (CNM) must
success-fully complete the required course of study to first
become a registered nurse, followed by an additional one
to two years of specialized training and instruction in
midwifery through approved university level programs
before taking a mandatory national licensing exam. CNMs
consult, collaborate, and even work with physicians and
are often affiliated with hospitals, to which they may have
admitting privileges.
When checking the qualifications of a midwife, be
certain to consider those of her backup doctor as well. All
midwives should have an arrangement with a physician to
whom problem pregnancies can be referred. With the
confusion surrounding all the different titles and
designations given to practicing midwives, determining
their individual degree of expertise can be a tricky
business.
As noted above, there is a clear distinction between
the traditional and professional midwife. There are those
who believe that the conventional apprenticeship route
and the contemporaneous system of formal education are
equally valid, and therefore advocate making an
evaluation of a midwife based on the end result rather
than the process; i.e., concentrating on the midwifes
knowledge, skills, ability, and experience independent of

C h a p t e r 2 28
how she acquired them. Others believe that more is
better, and limit the field to those who have completed
rigorous certification programs. Either way, the choice is
yours. Just make it an informed one! Ask for references
and disclosure statements outlining their qualifications
and background from all prospective candidates. If
possible, talk to some of their clients.
A large number of women are now opting for
midwives to deliver their babies not just at home, but also
in a hospital or birthing center. Prospective parents
generally prefer hospital births due to the immediate
availability of medical equipment, services, and specialists
if needed, as well as the accessibility of pain medication.
For those laboring mothers who reject the notion that
childbirth must be experienced without drugs in order to
be fully rewarding, alternatives such as the epidural block
(see Chapter 5) provide welcome relief. Although
midwives usually oppose the use of any form of
anesthetic, many do support and respect a womans right
to make this decision for herself.
Having expounded on the differences between the
two predominant groups of midwives, which turn on
background and certification, we now move to a brief
comparison between doctors and midwives, whose
differences hinge not only on the above mentioned
criteria, but on philosophy as well. Whereas doctors have
a tendency to concentrate primarily on a womans
physical condition and view childbirth from a medical
standpoint, midwives are more inclined to focus on the
woman herself and see childbirth not as a medical
condition to be treated, but rather as a natural process to
be supported. These philosophical distinctions can have a
direct effect on the character of the birth experience.
While physicians rely heavily on intervention
techniques to medicalize birth procedures, midwives
employ a more wholistic approach. The fundamental
principle of midwifery is to provide a continuity of care in
an unobtrusive manner, involving the woman as much as

possible in decisions relating to her care. Consequently,
prenatal visits tend to last longer with a midwife, who
takes time to address the patients questions and
concerns as well as provide counseling and educate her
on the various aspects of labor and delivery. Many
midwives even make house calls, eliminating the need to
go to an office for checkups.
Additionally, midwives usually stay with the patient
from the time she goes into labor until well after the birth
whereas physicians often simply breeze in during the last
hour or so to actually effectuate the delivery. Midwives are
also more amenable to allowing a woman to make certain
choices for herself, such as position during labor and
delivery, while doctors seem more intent on following a
standard procedure with each birth, regardless of
individual patient preferences.
Studies indicate that the incidence of invasive
procedures such as cesareans and episiotomies are
significantly lower under the primary care of midwives,
who earnestly strive to avoid such measures whenever
feasible. Intervention is a last resort in midwifery, used
only if the safety of mother or child is compromised.
Although midwives may perform and repair episiotomies
themselves, they are not qualified to undertake
cesareans; those cases requiring major surgery are
referred to the backup physician.
Overall, midwives offer maternal care on a personal,
interactive level which many women appreciate. Although
not recommended for high risk groups where
complications are likely or anticipated, normal
pregnancies seem to benefit from the generous attention
extended by a conscientious and dedicated midwife
through all phases of pregnancy and childbirth.

The Choice Is Yours

Unlike others addressing this subject matter, I do not

C h a p t e r 2 30
endorse or denounce a particular type of health care
professional. This choice is left to the individual, where it
rightfully belongs. I believe that women are perfectly
capable of reaching their own singular conclusions about
doctors, midwives, epidurals, relaxation techniques, and
everything both in between and beyond. Strong and
varied opinions abound on the issue, but mine remains
simply this: there are few gallant knights on white
chargers OR evil villains on black steeds racing around in
the field of obstetrics, but rather countless men and
women genuinely striving to do their level best.
Certainly there are some disreputable doctors and
midwives out there, but we cant reasonably make a
blanket statement regarding one profession or the other
based on a few bad apples. To say that physicians in
general, and particularly those belonging to the male
gender, are cold, manipulative, condescending,
egomaniacal, money-grubbing chauvinists is unfair.
Conversely, to say that midwives are primitive,
unqualified, archaic, inept, herb-toting grannies is equally
unjust.
Yet such attitudes are prevalent in certain quarters to
varying degrees, and in some cases actually border on
hysteria (in the process of censuring doctors, one writer
went so far as to suggest that episiotomies are a form of
genital mutilation, for example). Indeed, the disputation
occasionally radiates the impression that pregnant women
are like so many wishbones being pulled from both sides!
Many serious (and even legitimate) allegations have
been leveled against members of the medical profession,
including questionably excessive use of surgical
procedures during labor and delivery, as addressed
previously. But natural childbirth advocates should not
take such a dogmatic stance as to reject offhand every
benefit that modern medical technology has to offer.
Along these lines emerges one of the hottest issues in the
interventionism debate...anesthesia!
Believe it or not, anesthesia can be a very

controversial subject. In fact, doctors have been
repeatedly lambasted on its behalf. Some opponents
present the dubious argument that administering
anesthesia is a means of exercising control over laboring
women, as if a woman who is comfortable and alert is
somehow more vulnerable than one who is miserable and
distracted! Others claim that promoting the use of
anesthesia is just another way for doctors and hospitals to
add to their already substantial bank accounts.
Yet the indisputable but conveniently overlooked fact
is that the majority of laboring mothers choose pain relief
in the form of epidurals or some other medical
intervention. Doctors are not forcing anesthesia on their
patients in order to interfere with the progress of nature
with a diabolical motive of thereby depriving women of a
sweet, satisfying, full... childbirth experience. Anesthesia
is administered solely for the sake of relieving a patients
discomfort and suffering. But I digress...epidurals are
another chapter!
The bottom line here is that we are all individuals;
what works for me may not work for you and vice versa.
Contrary to the assertions of some, the choices available
today in pregnancy and childbirth are not clearly right or
wrong for everyone. Nobody but you has the right to make
those decisions for you! And no one should be made to
feel guilty or inferior when individually resolving these
issues.
In short, although early American medicine may
have been chauvinistic and early midwifery archaic, that
certainly doesnt mean that those conditions or attitudes
persist today. Make your own decisions based on your
personal needs is my sincere and unbiased advice to the
reader. May you find a genuinely supportive and
competent care provider who will do everything humanly
possible to guide your pregnancy to a happy conclusion!

C h a p t e r 2 32
In a Nutshell

The key element in locating a care provider is to be
informed. Conduct your own research, and be aware of
differences in philosophy, education, experience, bedside
manner, approach, and of course, intervention rates.
These factors and others will inevitably influence your
decision. Your care provider will play an integral part in
your life over the course of the coming months, so choose
carefully.
A woman should have complete confidence in the
judgment and ability of her health care provider. She
needs to be assured that she and her baby are in good
hands. If at any time during the pregnancy this trust is
found to be lacking, the patient should under no
circumstances feel a sense of obligation to continue that
association through delivery.
Before you invest time and energy in the selection
process, be sure to check with your health insurance
company to ascertain whether there are any restrictions
placed on your policy regarding choice of maternal care
providers. Some companies may limit your options either
by requiring you to choose from their own predetermined
list of doctors or by excluding specific practitioners (such
as midwives) from your coverage.
Begin your search with recommendations from
friends, relatives, and other associates. Public libraries
have medical directories that list the qualifications and
affiliations of specialists. If you already have a particular
hospital in mind, call and inquire about the possibility of a
physician (or midwife) referral service. For a listing of
practicing midwives in your area, contact the American
College of Nurse-Midwives (202-289-0171) or the
Midwives Alliance of North America (600 Fifth St., Monet,
MO 65708).
After narrowing the field down to two or three
prospective choices, arrange a brief meeting with each
candidate, being certain to discuss those areas of

obstetric care of greatest concern to you. Look for the
qualities of a genuinely supportive care provider. Ask
whether he or she seeks a second opinion before
performing a non-emergency cesarean. This is a
safeguard recommended by the American College of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists. These interviews are
well worth the cost and effort, as they help determine who
is best suited for you.
Among many important considerations in the
selection of an obstetric care provider is where you want
to give birth. The majority of women in the United States
choose to deliver their babies in a hospital setting under
the care of an obstetrician.
Hospitals have certainly come a long way in recent
years, no doubt influenced by both the midwifery model of
maternal care as well as the publics demand for
humanized childbirth. Gone are the mandatory enemas,
shaves, straps, and stirrups. Unlike the stark surroundings
of the past, many hospitals today offer birthing rooms
which look like bedrooms or living rooms, but are
equipped with all the necessities for labor and delivery.
The laboring mother can feel comfortable and even at
home in this friendly birthing atmosphere without
compromising safety and peace of mind.
If possible, arrange to take a tour of the facilities
available at the hospitals in your area. Since not all
doctors have admitting privileges at all hospitals, one
choice could cancel out another. Make sure that the
hospitals policies regarding rooming-in, visiting hours,
length of stay, etc. are agreeable to you. Ideally, a woman
should feel comfortable both with her physician and the
accompanying medical facilities.
Some women prefer to deliver in midwife run birthing
centers. These establishments provide a relaxed,
homelike atmosphere under the supervision of certified
nurse-midwives. Childbirth centers can be either free-
standing or part of a larger hospital.
A still smaller percentage of women elect to give birth

C h a p t e r 2 34
in their own homes for the benefits of the four Cs: comfort,
convenience, control, and cost. Few doctors or CNMs are
willing to attend home births due to malpractice insurance
restrictions and the risks involved (both legal and
medical), so in most instances these deliveries are
effected under the care of a traditional midwife.
Proximity of emergency backup should be an
important consideration. Even low-risk pregnancies can
end in unexpected complications such as dystocia,
7
fetal
distress, cord prolapse,
8
malpositioned placenta,
9

awkward fetal position, cord wrapped around the babys
neck, or maternal hemorrhage. Although some emergency
birthing situations can be handled successfully in the
home by a well-trained attendant, others may necessitate
immediate transfer to medical facilities.
With the emergence of medical practices which
include both doctors and midwives, it is even possible for
women to customize their obstetric care to include both
personalized attention and advanced technology instead
of having to choose one over the other. This developing
trend in which medical doctors and certified nurse-
midwives are forging an alliance and working together in
hospitals, private practice, and HMOs (health
maintenance organizations) can only prove beneficial to
everyone involved, including the doctor and midwife, but
especially the patient.
A union between the two professions seems to be a
logical step and would truly be a marriage made in
heaven, offering women the best of both worlds and
eliminating the battlefield mentality. Far better to achieve
a unity of purpose, come together on common ground,
and pool resources and talents.
In conclusion, a variety of options are available to
women today, so there is essentially something for

7
Failure of labor to progress.
8
The cord slips down and cuts off the babys oxygen.
9
Blocks or interferes with the babys passage.

everyone. This freedom of choice, when executed, is the
ultimate resolution of the maternal care debate. It is your
body, your baby, your money and your choice. Exercise it!
:)


I fail to understand why some medical personnel
choose to insist that certain occurences are not normal
and even act as if youre the first person ever to
experience such a thing. Do they think the problem will
somehow magically correct itself if the patient is
convinced it shouldnt exist?
For example, in the hours after our first child was
born, the hospitals lactation specialist adamantly
insisted that I shouldnt be experiencing any pain while
breastfeeding, despite the fact that it did hurt like heck!
She checked to see that my baby was latching on
correctly and that was that.
For weeks I was in agony every time I nursed my son.
I had to brace myself for the imminent pain at each
feeding. I lived in fear that he would wake sooner than
expected and Id have to nurse him again before the next
regular feeding. When I took him to our pediatrician for his
six-week checkup, I found out that my baby was tongue-
tied and therefore could not nurse properly. All it took was
one little snip and the problem was corrected.
After talking to other women, I have learned that
experiencing pain when breastfeeding is not an
uncommon occurrence. Why then is it not acknowledged?
I was not the only one who was told that it shouldnt hurt.
Says who?
I just wish we could choose our nurses as well as our
doctors! Ive had some bad ones. But my obstetrician has
always been nothing short of absolutely wonderful. She
was genuinely concerned with my well-being and
answered questions at length and in depth to be sure I

C h a p t e r 2 36
understood. I always came away with the impression that
she truly cared about me and my baby. She was never
aloof or condescending, but always attentive and sincere.
In addition to the fact that she has a perfect bedside
manner, my doctor is also one of the top obstetricians in
our region. She knows what shes doing and my husband
and I have the utmost confidence in her ability. I trust her
not just with myself, but more importantly, with my babies.
Lana

I must admit that my OB in California was a very
wonderful person. There are really good doctors like that.
He was very empathetic and open-minded, and that
meant a lot.
He was one that I influenced to rethink some of the
stuff that they were automatically doing, like episiotomies.
I asked him some pointed questions about how much
research they had done on episiotomies and why they
would think they had to do it, even if you didnt need one?
And they were getting to the point where they were
starting to not do enemas as a matter of course and some
of the other things that they used to do.
But he didnt deliver my first baby, although I wish he
had. I happened to get the partner, who was on duty then.
Because this doctor had delivered over a thousand
babies, he was used to doing it his waydoing the cut and
everything else whether you needed them or not. The
doctors idea is that this is the first time youve ever had a
baby, and he knows better because hes delivered a
whole bunch of them. But I kept thinking, hes a guy and
hes never actually had one.
I said that I didnt want an episiotomy, but the doctor
wasnt very willing to not do it. The nurse guided me, and I
did tear a little bit, but I would not have torn had the doctor
handled the delivery properly. Either he didnt know how,
or he didnt want to help me to not have an episiotomy.
Thats why I had the problem with tearing when the

shoulders were born. That shouldnt have happened. He
should have had me stop pushing after the head came
and then positioned the shoulders, and I never would
have torn.
The second one had jaundice and had to stay in the
hospital with the billy lights on. Thats one thing I really
resented, was having had to do that and then finding out
later I could have rented the lights and taken him home.
And that particular doctor, who was not my regular
pediatrician, had taken him off breast milk also, in case he
had breast milk jaundice. I read the literature on it that he
gave me, which said that usually breast milk jaundice
doesnt show up until the third month. And this baby was
only four days old. So I resented that they had done that
to him, too.
It depends on what kind of doctors and what kind of
nurses you get, whether they tend to meddle too much or
whether they let you handle it in your own way and are
really responsive to your needs. And I think that theres a
lot of unnecessary medical tests and invasive procedures
that theyre going overboard on now just to protect
themselves from malpractice suits. Sometimes doctors try
to do too much. Doctors I think are really great when you
have problems with your birth. In those kinds of situations
where you really need the medical care, you need the C-
section, or somethings going wrong, they really know
their stuff.
I had a midwife for my last pregnancy. My midwife
was great. I think that midwives are wonderful because
they really spend time with you. She came to visit me and
she would do the checkups at my place. Shed spend
several hours with me, to make sure things were okay. It
was really on a lot more personal level and she was more
of a hands off kind of person. She had eighteen years of
experience, she knew her stuff, and she knew when
something might be going wrong. When it came to the
birth, she wanted you to do what you felt comfortable
doing. She wanted it to be a real personal family

C h a p t e r 2 38
experience. And thats why I enjoyed that one more. It
was just a much more spiritual experience having a baby
that way because we were really focused on the new
baby and the family, and not what the hospital wanted to
do or to have done.
If you want to have a natural childbirth experience, I
think that midwives seem to know a lot more than doctors
about handling normal births.They just seem to handle the
woman as a whole person, all aspects of herthe
physical, emotional, spiritual. Jayne

I felt my doctors were so caring and so concerned;
they were wonderful. The treatment was excellent with all
of them.
With our second son I had an epidural halfway into
my labor. I just didnt think we could afford one because
we didnt have insurance, so I had said no. But I was in
terrible pain and finally the doctor came in and said, I am
paying for the epiduralIm knocking it off the top of what
Im going to make. He was so good to me. The doctor
just thought that the epidural would be advisable. The
uterus had slipped way down, and on the way out, the
vaginal wall was shredded. So they gave me an epidural
and it was the most wonderful labor in the world. I had
such an easy delivery. It was just wonderful. Karen

I wasnt very happy with my first doctor. They were
both British. I guess it was illegal at the time for Americans
to practice medicine in Hong Kong. But the first doctor
was just kind of a jerk and we werent really happy with
him. When I took our daughter in for her 10-day check-up,
she still had a mark on her cheek from the forceps, but he
denied that it was caused by them. We werent upset
about it, we knew that he felt he had to use the forceps at
the time. But he just wouldnt admit that he caused that
mark afterwards. He said it was probably from her

dribbling in her sleep and it got infected or something.
With our first son, the hospital was way up in the
mountains, so it took about a 20-minute drive to get up
there. At this hospital, the midwives helped you through it
and they were more for natural childbirth. Id heard good
things about them from a lot of people who had had
babies there. My husband was a really good coach. I think
it makes a big difference. But for me, I needed more than
my husband as a coach. I needed the nurses to be
supportive.
I knew that at this British hospital it cost more, but the
midwives were very supportive. And thats why I chose
them the second time. I thought well, at the Chinese
hospital I would probably get an epidural again because
they were not as supportive, and then that would increase
the cost and it would be just as much as going to the more
expensive hospital.
I checked in at night, and then the doctor came in
and examined me at 10:00 in the morning. He found that I
wasnt dilated anymore. He left and I dilated from three to
eight in less than an hour. They called him back as soon
as they noticed I was at eight.
All of a sudden I felt I needed to push, and they said,
Do you want to try and wait for the doctor, or do you want
to go ahead and deliver? I said, No, were going to do
this baby right now. By that time I had so much
confidence in the midwives that I would prefer that they
deliver the baby instead of the doctor anyway.
And he walked in the door as soon as the baby was
delivered. I felt bad because even though the midwives
did the delivery, the doctor still got paid for it because we
had paid him in advance.
I felt they were really good and I thought, next time I
have a baby, Im going to have a midwife delivery. I dont
know if its because they were women or because they
werent in a hurry like doctors are, but they were more
concerned with the baby and with me. Sandi

C h a p t e r 2 40
I really like the hospital here. I think its just a nice
atmosphere. Its really personal. You get a lot of attention.
Ive enjoyed the small town hospital. Even though its kind
of risky having a baby in a small hospital, everythings
worked out good. Whats hard here is, the doctors want
the babies in the isolette for the first four hours of their life
so they can make sure nothing goes wrong. You can hold
it in the delivery room for a little while, and then they take
the baby to the nursery. They keep them hooked up on
the monitors and make sure theyre stable before the
mother can keep it in the room with her. And thats always
hard waiting, but its kind of a good time to get over it,
relax and think about it, and rest up for the baby.
Deidre

With this last little baby, my obstetrician came to my
home and checked me. Hes one of the top high risk
doctors in the intermountain west, and he is so good. This
doctor, who was the chief of staff at the hospital here in
Salt Lake, and who has a lot of important meetings to go
to, told the nurse, When this baby comes, I want to
deliver it. I dont care what meeting Im in, I will deliver this
baby. My OBs have been great. Diane

At the medical practice I went to, when you first come
in they recommend that you see everybody and get
comfortable with making a decision on who you want.
There were about four midwives and then three or four
doctors also to choose from.
I just thought that the midwife was more sensitive. I
felt more like I had kind of a sister-like relationship with
her, and I figured that a woman knows a womans body
more than a man does. I mean, theyve been through
birth, so they really know what theyre talking about.
Although a man may have seen a lot, hes not
experienced it for himself.

The midwife was with me the whole time during labor,
which I really liked because the doctors kind of come and
go, but she was there from the time they popped the
water all the way up to the time that I gave birth. I got to
hold the baby right away. Midwives want you to have that
bond immediately.
Karen S.

The practice we went to specializes in home delivery.
A doctor and a nurse go to your home when you are in
labor. Not everyone that goes to this practice qualifies to
do a home delivery. You cannot be a high risk case, and
you must deliver between weeks 38 and 42. All other
patients must deliver in the hospital. They believe in no
drugs, no episiotomies, and breastfeeding.
They also have a labor suite, which is located inside
the hospital, but is not part of the hospital. You can labor
in this room, but in order to receive any drugs or deliver a
baby you must be admitted. Since I was afraid to deliver
at home, I chose that route.
How it works is once you start labor you go to the
hospital and stay in this labor suite with one of their
nurses. The nurse keeps a close eye on your progress but
you are free to roam around. The labor suite is just like a
small apartment. It has four rooms, a small kitchenette, a
bedroom with a real bed, showers, etc. But I was in the
hospital building so if something went wrong I wouldnt
have far to go. Looking back I would do the same thing all
over again. In fact, my husband and I are talking about
having another baby, and I will do a home delivery with
the next one... Marcia

My doctors have all been just as nice as can be. I
think theyve all bent over backwards to see that I was as
comfortable as I could be, that I was fine, and to reduce
any stress that was there.

C h a p t e r 2 42
I just get mad that they have to have so many people
in the delivery room. Why cant they just have the doctor
and a nurse instead of everybody that works there having
to drop in? I dont like that. With one, I think we had eight
people or more in the room. Ive always had two or three
nurses and an anesthesiologist, and whoever else is
working and happens to drop in. I just hate that.
One thing that really bothered me was when we had
our first daughter... All I could think of during labor was
who I was going to call if I had a girl. This was big news to
me and I just could not wait. I was so thrilled to have a girl.
And just the very minute she was born, someone
opened the door and said, Has she had it yet? I didnt
even know what it was yet, and the doctor said, Yes, its
a girl. So I heard thatits a girl. And they said, thank
you, and shut the door. I found out later that somebody
had called in and then announced at church that wed had
a girl. And I was really hurt. I just thought that was
inappropriate and it really upset me. Not only were my
friends there that I had wanted to tell, but our family and
neighbors. I felt like that was my time and my place.
Emily

If I had to do it all over again, I think I would probably
choose to go with a registered nurse midwife instead of a
doctor, because I think unless youre already a high risk
pregnancy, doctors in general are really paranoid about
everything, and that bothers me. When I was about four
months along, they had me do that glucose test where
you drink that yucky stuff. And the doctor had forgotten to
tell me that I wasnt supposed to eat anything before I
took that test. So I had come straight from lunch to the
doctors office and I scored real high on the test. He was
going to send me straight to the endocrinologist, thinking I
had gestational diabetes based on this one test.
For the whole day I was pretty much in tears. And
then I talked to my dad and my brother, who are also

doctors. They were just amazed that based on one test
the doctor would make a diagnosis like that, especially
when its really an unreliable test. So they advised me
either to take that same one-hour test over again or do the
four-hour glucose test. I decided to take the four-hour
glucose test, and it turned out that I didnt have
gestational diabetes at all. I was just fine. That upset me
that they were so insensitive at that particular time.
My best appointment was with the RN when I had to
be squeezed in and the doctor couldnt see me. So his
nurse did it, and she was so fun and chatty and talked
about the heartbeats rate and what it might mean as far
as a boy or girl, and stuff like that. And it was such a
difference from just the cold doctor doing his routine thing.
Sharon

I had a paracervical block with my third one, but I
could feel the pains anyway. The doctor came in with this
great big needle that looks huge as youre laying there
looking at it. He told me to relax, and my legs closed tight!
And he said, Im going to have the nurse deliver this baby
if you dont relax. Excuse me? Im paying $800 to have
him tell me that? I never went back to him.
I had two home births. I didnt want to face a great big
doctor bill and a great big hospital bill. So it was strictly
money.
With the midwives, it was a little more comfortable.
Your arms and legs werent strapped into the little stirrup
things. They put pillows by your legs so youre laying there
naturally and then you have the baby.
Midwives arent in a hurry to leave. You know,
doctors want to get in and out. Youre going to have this
baby right now, were going to stitch you up, and Im out of
here. When you have a baby at home...you know how
they kind of massage your placenta out at the hospital?
Midwives dont do that. They stop and wait until your body
goes back into labor and then deliver the placenta.

C h a p t e r 2 44
Because if you have it delivered naturally, the bleeding
you have for another six weeks afterwards is done in two
weeks. Theres no comparison. Why dont the doctors do
it? They dont want to sit there and wait for your body to
go back into labor.
I believe midwives know what theyre doing. They
knew if it was going right or if something wasnt right,
when it was time to bail out. Shed had problem
pregnancies, and shed send them to the hospital.
Cheryl

With my third son an emergency C-section was done.
I had a spinal block and was awake through the delivery.
It was terrible. The medical professionals acted so cold.
My husband was appalled by the way they were during
the surgery. He whispered to me, I gut a deer more
carefully than the way they are treating you! They acted
so rough.
After this experience I knew I needed to change
things. The doctor tried to insist on having my tubes tied
and said that I would probably not be able to get a doctor
to take me on as a patient because I was the highest risk
level anyone could be, and we would definitely not be
able to get medical insurance.
About two years later I was pregnant with our fourth
son. I had friends that suggested a midwife and home
births. I was frightened at first but I prayed and pondered
and got my answer to use a midwife. I called several and
talked with them all and picked the one I felt most
compatible with. That delivery was wonderful and
peaceful. It was the most satisfying feeling and more
spiritual than I had ever felt. And the recovery was so
much quicker.
We moved to southern Utah a couple of years later.
My midwife had a friend there that she was partners with
years before. When I got pregnant I went to see her. I
explained my history of premature labor and she said we

would work through it, and we did. What great visits we
had! A midwife schedules an appointment for an hour. Its
an hour visit, not 45 minutes waiting and a 15-minute visit.
The whole hour she gets to know you inside and out. She
knows your moods, your strengths, and your weaknesses.
She gets to know your family. She makes house visits
near the end of the pregnancy.
I know I would choose a midwife again. I can testify
of the knowledge they have about prenatal care, birthing,
and recovery. In my opinion a midwife outdoes a doctor
any day. The midwife puts the pregnancy and the birth
back into the mothers hands and does not exert power
over her. Stepheni

C h a p t e r 2 46
Consumer Price Indexes
of Medical Care Prices
1970 to 1999

[1982-1984=100. Indexes are annual averages of monthly data
based on components of consumer price index for all urban consumers.]
Medical Care
Services
Annual
Percent Change
10

Year
Physicians
Professional
Services
Hospital
Medical
Care
Com-
modities
11
Phys-
icians
Medical
Care
Services
Hospital
Medical
Care
Com-
modities
11

1970 34.5 23.6 46.5 7.5 12.9 2.4
1975 48.1 38.3 53.3 12.1 17.1 8.3
1980 76.5 68.0 75.4 10.5 13.1 9.3
1985 113.3 115.4 115.2 5.9 5.9 7.2
1988 139.8 143.3 139.9 7.2 9.3 6.8
1989 150.1 158.1 150.8 7.4 10.3 7.8
1990 160.8 175.4 163.4 7.1 10.9 8.4
1991 170.5 191.9 176.8 6.0 9.4 8.2
1992 181.2 208.7 188.1 6.3 8.8 6.4
1993 191.3 226.4 195.0 5.6 8.5 3.7
1994 199.8 239.2 200.7 4.4 5.7 2.9
1995 208.8 251.2 204.5 4.5 5.0 1.9
1996 216.4 269.5 210.4 3.6 4.9 2.9
1997 222.9 278.4 215.3 3.0 3.3 2.3
1998 229.5 287.5 221.8 3.0 3.3 3.0
1999 236.0 299.5 230.7 2.8 4.2 4.0
Source: U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, CPI Detailed Report, and unpublished data.
U.S. Census Bureau, Statistical Abstract of the United States: 1996, 2000

10
Percent change from the immediate prior year.
11
Prior to 1978, covers drugs and prescriptions only.

F o r t h i s c h i l d I p r a y e d . . . 47
c h a p t e r
3
F o r t h i s c h i l d
I p r a y e d . . .
(1 S a m u e l 1 : 2 7)

I slept on my side, but with twins, its very uncomfortable.
You dont get much sleep the last two months of your
pregnancy. It was a huge process just to turn over in bed.
I would hold my stomach, roll to my back, then roll to my
other side. From about six months on it was like carrying a
whole term babythey were that big together. The weight
is so incredible. Jana

With my second pregnancy, I had a miscarriage at three
months. The baby died at two months, but I carried it for
another month without knowing. Stefanie

Sometimes pregnancies dont progress quite the way
they were expected to. The results of such deviation from
the well worn path of a normal pregnancy can be
devastating in some cases and yet truly enriching in
others. The ability that women have to surmount obstacles
and endure hardships for the noble cause of bringing forth
new life is nothing short of awe-inspiring. This is true even
of a complication-free pregnancy, but some women find
that they really have to go the extra mile to attain
motherhood.
For many mothers under such trying circumstances,
the realization is brought home more fully than ever
before, that they are not alone. At such times, they begin
to lean more heavily on the arm of God, knowing that the
arm of flesh alone cannot sustain them.

C h a p t e r 3 48
Multiples

The presence of more than one fetus is a high risk
inasmuch as the potential for problems is increased.
Twins, triplets, quadruplets, quintuplets, and yes,
sextuplets can be far more taxing on their mothers body
(not to mention her mind!) than one individual baby. Aside
from sheer bulk and its accompanying discomforts and
risks, the chances of something going wrong are greatly
increased.
For example, such pregnancies are generally not
carried to term. Premature labor is basically inevitable,
and most often the only question is how early it will be.
The main focus is on maintaining the pregnancy long
enough for the babies to develop sufficiently prior to birth.
Multiples are usually smaller than single birth babies, and
often have to stay in the hospital longer.
Also, the possibility of cesarean delivery is higher
with twins, and virtually certain with three or more. The
likelihood of two babies both assuming the correct head
down birth position is tenuous; with three or more, its all
but impossible. And time becomes a factor as well in
deliveries of multiples. A cesarean is typically the quickest
and safest way for three or more babies to be born.
With the increased use of fertility treatments, from
hormone therapy to in vitro fertilization
12
(IVF), we are
seeing a corresponding increase in the incidence of
multiple births. There have even been several highly
publicized cases of septuplets in recent years! Yet such
results are very rare; singles, twins, and possibly triplets
are still the most common rewards of successful fertility
treatment.
As the occurrence of twin births becomes more

12
The process of accomplishing fertilization in a petri dish or
other medium before transferring the embryos to the uterus. The
resulting pregnancies are commonly referred to as test tube
babies.

frequent, some medical practices specializing in IVF are
beginning to cut back on the number of embryos routinely
implanted in an effort to foster single births. But, hey
some of us would love to have twins! Besides, despite the
rising success rates, many times these procedures do fail.
So for couples struggling to conceive, twins or even
triplets may be a very welcome outcome, especially
considering the exorbitant cost of each treatment (both
financial and emotional). The risk of multiple pregnancies
should be weighed on an individual basis against the risk
of failure to conceive. Most clinics include couples in this
decision-making process. A consultation with the
physician is normally scheduled after the collection and
fertilization procedures to discuss the quality of the
embryos and decide together on the most prudent number
to implant. There are many interesting and informative
web sites on this subject; for a more thorough analysis, go
search the Internet! :)

Miscarriage

Miscarriage means losing a pregnancy before the
baby is able to survive on its own, usually before 20
weeks of gestation. Warning signs include spotting or
bleeding, cramps, abdominal pain, and dizziness. If an
impending miscarriage is not successfully averted, the
bleeding will increase and contractions will push the fetus
out. Occasionally, a fetus will die inside the womb without
being expelled, requiring surgical removal or induction of
labor, depending on the stage of pregnancy.
If fetal death occurs early in pregnancy, or if any
tissue is left in the uterus following miscarriage, a dilation
and curettage (D&C) should be performed to remove it. In
this case, however, it is highly advisable that you insist the
doctor check and doublecheck to be absolutely certain
that no life remains. In my relatively small sampling of
approximately thirty women, there were at least three

C h a p t e r 3 50
instances of a scheduled D&C which, if performed, would
have aborted a perfectly healthy and viable fetus had one
final test not been initiated to confirm the original
diagnosis.
Often referred to as a spontaneous abortion, the
causes of mis-carriage are varied, but it is thought that the
majority are triggered by fetal abnormalities. Repeated
miscarriages may result from certain disorders in the
mother, such as hormonal imbalance, structural problems
with the uterus, allo-immunity (occurs when the parents
are too similar genetically) and antiphospholipid syndrome
(the production of antibodies which trigger formation of
blood clots in the placenta that can obstruct the nutrient
supply to the baby). Many such maladies are treatable.
Risk of miscarriage is increased by genetic defects as well
as exposure to toxins such as those found in alcohol,
tobacco, and drugs.
Preventive measures most often undertaken to treat
a threatened miscarriage include complete bed rest and,
in some cases, stitching the cervix closed. This procedure
is called a cerclage and is performed under general
anesthesia on women at risk of untimely delivery, usually
during the early part of the second trimester. An
incompetent cervix dilates too soon, resulting in
miscarriage or premature birth unless it is sutured closed
to prevent loss of the baby. The stitches are later removed
when the baby is viable and ready to be born.

Complications

Anemia is a low hemoglobin
13
level, usually caused
by either an iron or folic acid deficiency. During
pregnancy, the bodys ability to thoroughly absorb these
nutrients may be weakened, and the growing baby will

13
A protein responsible for carrying oxygen to the bodys
tissues.

consume them as well, sometimes resulting in deficiency
in the mother. Symptoms include paleness, weakness,
tiredness, breathlessness, fainting, and palpitations.
Preventive measures such as iron and folic acid
supplementation are often prescribed.
Breech presentation refers to a fetus positioned with
a part of the anatomy (usually the buttocks, feet, or
knees) other than the head pointing toward the birth
canal. A footling breech (single or double) is a baby
presenting one or both feet first. Transverse lie or oblique
presentation means the baby is lying sideways across the
abdomen, usually with the shoulder presenting. Often
breech babies are delivered by cesarean section because
this reduces risks.
Alternative nonsurgical techniques may be
attempted, but require specialized training and some
degree of skill and experience. These include external
cephalic version, or maneuvering the baby to a head
down position before labor by applying pressure on the
mothers abdomen with the hands; turning the baby
internally during the birth process; and breech extraction,
or effecting the delivery in the position presented. Even if
successful, turning the baby may be quickly undone if it
flips right back to where it was before. Children dont
always do what we want them to, but in many cases, the
baby may actually turn itself around and assume the
correct head first position on its own well before delivery,
thus eliminating the need for intervention.
Studies have shown external version to be a
relatively safe and viable procedure which can
significantly reduce the need for surgical intervention.
However, it is not without risk and may not be expedient in
some cases. All of the above mentioned procedures have
pros and cons, and each should be executed by qualified
medical personnel. Maternal and perinatal risk factors
must be evaluated on an individual basis to determine
eligibility and advisability for any given approach.

C h a p t e r 3 52
Gestational diabetes is a temporary condition
associated only with pregnancy, but women who contract
it are at an above average risk of developing true diabetes
in the future. Although most common among overweight
women and those over 25, any woman can develop
gestational diabetes. For this reason, most pregnant
women are routinely screened for it during the course of
prenatal care.
Hormonal activity associated with pregnancy can
trigger changes in glucose metabolism, causing a woman
to become resistant to her own insulin and consequently
to become diabetic if her body isnt able to compensate by
producing sufficient amounts to keep blood-sugar levels
down. If not controlled, gestational diabetes can lead to
toxemia, preeclampsia, and macrosomia (an inordinately
large baby), which complications could result in difficult or
premature delivery, stillbirth, and health problems in the
newborn. However, with early treatment consisting mainly
of dietary changes and good medical management of the
pregnancy, these dangers are virtually eliminated.
Insulin injections are typically necessary only if the
condition doesnt respond to initial treatment methods.
Implementation of and adherence to a strict low-fat, high-
protein, no-sugar diet usually serves to keep this form of
diabetes under control. In some cases, gestational
diabetes may precede full-blown diabetes, which is a
chronic, incurable condition. But for the majority of
women, it ends with the pregnancy.
Meconium
14
staining of the amniotic fluid is an indi-
cation that the fetus has had a bowel movement in utero.
This can cause fetal distress and necessitates immediate
delivery to clear blocked nasal passages and restore
proper functioning of the lungs if aspiration has occured.
Inhalation of meconium can also result in other serious
complications such as pneumonia and emphysema.

14
A sticky, tar-like green or black substance which is discharged
during a babys first bowel movement.

Preeclampsia or toxemia is a potentially dangerous
disorder most often manifested by high blood pressure
(hypertension), excessive water retention, and protein in
the urine. It can occur at almost any time during
pregnancy, but usually doesnt surface until after week 20.
Although it can be deadly if allowed to escalate, early
diagnosis and medical care can reduce or arrest the
effects of toxemia, as well as prevent its progression to
full-blown eclampsia, a life-threatening condition marked
by convulsions, severe headache, coma, and organ
damage. Treatment ranges from eliminating sodium from
the diet and controlling weight gain to bed rest to ending
the pregnancy with an emergency cesarean section,
depending on the severity of the case.
Abruptio placentae, the separation of the placenta
from the uterine wall, may occur in conjunction with
preeclampsia, hypertension, anemia, or severe trauma.
Smoking also appears to be a contributing risk factor for
this complication. The extent of the separation determines
the severity of the condition. Warning signs include
bleeding and abdominal pain. Treatment may be as
simple as bed rest or as urgent as immediate delivery,
depending on the circumstances.
Placenta previa means that the placenta is partially
or completely covering the cervical opening. The exact
location of the placenta can be determined and monitored
by ultrasound examination. If the opening is obstructed at
time of delivery, a cesarean section is necessary.
Preterm or premature labor is that which begins
significantly before the calculated due date. Unless
contraindicated by conditions such as high blood
pressure, vaginal bleeding, or infection, measures are
taken to bring labor to a halt so that the pregnancy can
continue as long as possible. Bed rest, intravenous or oral
fluids, and anti-contraction medication may be prescribed.
The longer the baby is inside the womb, the better its
chances for survival. Multiple fetuses, preeclampsia,

C h a p t e r 3 54
thyroid disease, anemia, diabetes, cervical or vaginal
infection, incompetent cervix, and placental abnormalities
are some of the conditions that can lead to preterm labor.
But in many cases, the specific cause for the onset of
labor is unknown.
Rh or hemolytic disease is a blood group
incompatibility resulting from opposing blood types; Rh+
red blood cells contain the rhesus factor, which is an
inherited protein, and Rh- red blood cells do not. The two
groups of blood cells lack compatibility, and problems can
surface if an unborn child has a rhesus factor different
from the mothers. When the babys blood is positive and
the mothers is negative, her system will recognize the
Rh+ cells as foreign and reject the fetus, producing
antibodies to fight against and destroy the offending fetal
blood cells in order to eliminate the perceived threat.
Generally, this incompatibility does not endanger her first
pregnancy, but once established in her bloodstream, the
antibodies will subsequently be ready and waiting to cross
the placenta and attack the red blood cells of future Rh+
babies. This situation can be extremely dangerous, even
fatal, for the developing fetus.
However, the administration of the rhesus gamma
globulin vaccine, commonly referred to as Rhogam,
during the third trimester and also following the conclusion
of each Rh+ pregnancy (including miscarriage, abortion,
and tubal pregnancy) as well as any transfusion with Rh+
blood usually prevents the antibodies from causing harm
in later pregnancies. Receiving this shot may also be
advisable after some prenatal tests such as
amniocentesis and chorionic villus sampling.
Rhogam is made from the Anti-D
15
antibody-

15
Antibodies which are produced in a mothers body in response
to a foreign substance such as the red blood cells of an unborn
Rh+ child. The necessary transfer of blood between mother and
child is most likely to occur during childbirth, when the placenta

containing blood plasma of Rh- donors (by the way,
donors are always needed). It works by circumventing the
bodys defense mechanism. Its a biological cloaking
device of sorts, providing a protective coating to Rh+ fetal
cells in the mothers bloodstream so that her body does
not identify them and thereby eliminating the necessity for
her system to produce antibodies which would be
detrimental to the development of an Rh+ baby.
This remedy is rendered useless in cases where an
Rh- mother has been previously sensitized to Rh+ blood
(through a blood transfusion or pregnancy) without benefit
of the vaccination, because her system will have already
produced the deadly antibodies, after which there is no
turning back. Instead, the attending physician must
monitor the pregnancy closely and may advise treating the
unborn child with blood transfusions in utero and/or
inducing labor early.
Ectopic or tubal pregnancy develops when the
fertilized egg doesnt make it to the uterus, but is
implanted instead in the Fallopian tube, or more rarely in
the abdominal cavity, horn of the uterus, or on the ovary.
Such pregnancies are never carried to term and always
result in the loss of the fetus because these locations are
incapable of supporting or containing a growing embryo.
If the tubal pregnancy is not detected and removed in
a timely manner, the tube (or other area) will rupture and
cause massive internal bleeding. Infertility is possible but
not likely if the tube is damaged or lost. Most women
conceive just fine with only one tube. Diagnosis of ectopic
pregnancy is accomplished by ultrasound examination
and by analyzing the levels of certain biochemical markers
in the blood including HCG, progesterone, estradiol, and
alpha-fetoprotein.
Symptoms consist of cramps, spotting, bleeding, and
severe pain, usually localized on one side of the

separates from the uterus, and fetal cells enter the mothers
bloodstream.

C h a p t e r 3 56
abdomen. Treatment is most often effected with operative
laparoscopy, consisting of small nonsurgical incisions in
the abdominal region through which the necessary
instruments are passed so that the growth can be
removed and the tube repaired. And in some cases of
early detection, medical therapy involving methotrexate
injections can successfully destroy rapidly dividing
gestational cells, thus eliminating the need for any
invasive medical procedures.
Although a tube or ovary may have been damaged
and there is a possibility of future tubal pregnancies, many
women who have had tubals are able to successfully
carry subsequent normal pregnancies to term. Women
with a history of pelvic inflammatory disease,
endometriosis, and previous IUD use are also classified
as higher risks for ectopic pregnancy.
Varicose veins result from the expansion of blood
vessels to accomodate the increased maternal blood
volume of pregnancy. Standing for prolonged periods of
time and constricting blood flow by crossing the legs while
seated contributes to the severity of varicose veins.
Wearing support stockings and elevating the legs helps
minimize the condition. While most of the time varicose
veins pass with pregnancy, more severe cases may
persist and become a lifelong concern.
This chapter certainly doesnt encompass every
possible pregnancy complication. If you experience any
problems, your obstetric care provider will provide much
more detailed and specific information.


I have suffered six miscarriages, all between 7 and 8
weeks gestation. I carried my two children with no
problems whatsoever, so the first miscarriage was quite a
blow. When my doctor assured me that it was probably
just an isolated incident not likely to be repeated, I was

skeptical. When I lost the second one, I was sure
something was terribly wrong. I asked for testing; my
doctor advised that as the tests were costly, they usually
werent performed until after the third consecutive
miscarriage. It was mind boggling to me that a woman
should have to go through such anguish three times
before any action would be taken! My doctor alleviated my
concerns somewhat by promising to put me on
Progesterone as soon as I became pregnant again. She
said insufficient levels of that hormone are the cause of
many early miscarriages. Losing that third baby was the
worst, because I was so confident that everything would
be all right now that I was receiving treatment. I had my
phone off the hook for days. I didnt want to talk to
anybody. I didnt want to see anybody. I just wanted to
bawl, but I couldnt even do that because Im not a cryer.
After that, I steeled myself. The blood tests were
finally performed, and showed absolutely nothing. The
nurse brightly assured me over the phone that my doctor
had said everything looked great, and if I were to get
pregnant again, I would have a really good chance of
carrying that baby. Yeah, right. I didnt believe it, and by
this time I was really sick of having statistics quoted to me
after each loss. What did it matter if I supposedly had an
80% or 70% or whatever percent chance of a normal
pregnancy? My experiences didnt validate the doctors
optimism that I would fall within those numbers. And
although it wasnt intended that way, I took it as trivializing
my suffering.
The fourth pregnancy was an oops. As soon as I
realized I was pregnant, I callously said out loud, Well,
here goes number four. I never allowed myself even a
glimmer of hope. I just waited for the spotting to start. I
was so cold about that one, it almost scared me. But it
was my defense. Mentally and emotionally, I could not
afford to sink into those horrible depths of despair again.
From a medical standpoint, this one was significant in
that it confirmed me a bona fide high risk for recurrent

C h a p t e r 3 58
miscarriage according to the wisdom of modern medicine.
I would now be privileged to undergo exploratory surgery.
This, too, I endured. But to no avail. Aside from a minor
spot of endometriosis, the doctors could find nothing
wrong with me. Gee, why dont we go for five, six...how
about seven?? I thought bitterly.
At this time, I traveled back to Salt Lake City to my
first doctor who had delivered my two children. She
consulted with the leading regional authority on the
subject, and the consensus was that even though the
blood tests had not indicated an immune problem, I
should be treated with Heparin injections twice daily from
the start of the next pregnancy. Now, I have always hated
shots. And thats putting it mildly. Several years earlier, I
had asked a dear friend who was a diabetic how she
could possibly stick herself with a needle. I could never
do that! I said with conviction. She looked me right in the
eye and said solemnly, Lana, you will find that you do
what you have to do. She was right.
Much as I hated it, I knew I would have to try the
shots or I would be forever plagued with what ifs. So,
onward to pregnancy number five. And to the doctors
office in Salt Lake to practice injecting a grape. That was
easy enough, but could I do that on my stomach? That
night, I sat on the edge of the tub in the hotel bathroom
for a long time, holding the syringe in one hand and a roll
of skin from my belly in the other. I tried and tried, but I
just couldnt make myself do it. My husband came to the
door and asked if I needed help. I let him in, and he sat on
the toilet lid for awhile and watched me try to stick myself.
He offered several times to do it for me, and I finally
realized that if I didnt let him, wed likely be sitting there
all night. So he administered the first shot, and did it so
well that I declared he could be in charge of that duty for
the duration. But as it turned out, his tenure was short-
lived. The next morning he jabbed me so hard I screamed.
He felt bad; he was only trying to get it over with quicker.
But I fired him anyway! I resolved to buck up and bite the

bullet. Besides, his work schedule wouldnt allow him to
consistently administer the shots morning and night. It
would have to be me. And I did what I had to do. It was
hard, but I did it. I learned that Im stronger than I thought.
But that was all the injections proved. I lost that one, too.
The sixth and last pregnancy was another oops.
And it was our final attempt. After that miscarriage, my
husband and I concluded that maybe we were only meant
to have two children. Besides, we just couldnt take
anymore. These ordeals had consumed our lives for over
two years. Not only were the miscarriages emotionally
draining, but they were taking a toll physically as well. The
fifth had thrown my body into severe PMS; the sixth
corrected that to the extent that now its only mild to
moderate. Our children suffered for it, too, and never
really comprehended what was going on. I remember after
one of the earlier miscarriages I told my little daughter that
I had lost the baby. She confidently suggested that maybe
the doctor could help me find it! Later, we didnt even tell
them (or anyone else) when I was pregnant.
The doctors never did figure out why I was
miscarrying. But from the beginning, I have wondered if
the cause could possibly be linked to oral contraceptives. I
had only taken them for short intervals during the time that
I had our two children. But after our daughter was born, I
was on oral contraceptives for an uninterrupted period of
over three years. I had been off them for several months
when I got pregnant with miscarriage #1. I asked my
doctor about it several times, but she assured me that oral
contraceptives do not cause miscarriage. Apparently
studies do not support a direct link between the two.
Okay...but recently a theory has formed in my
mind...what if there is an indirect link? Obviously, birth
control is the primary reason oral contraceptives are
prescribed. But whats the secondary reason?To
regulate the menstrual cycle. For women who have
irregular periods (like me), oral contraceptives conform the
body into a normal 28-day cycle.

C h a p t e r 3 60
With all the miscarriages, my cycle was still right on
28 days, courtesy of the oral contraceptives. With both of
my children, the ultrasounds indicated that I had ovulated
late in my cycle, and my due dates were about a week off.
What, if any, are the scientific implications of that? Only
now, over three years after discontinuing the use of oral
contraceptives, my body is finally trying to struggle back to
its former, late menstrual cycle. Interestingly, thats about
the same length of time I was taking the pills. I have a
Brazilian sister-in-law who told me that in her country,
doctors advise patients using oral contraceptives to follow
a pattern of six months (maximum) on, then six months
(minimum) off. I wonder why?
We know that the onset of menstruation and
menopause varies among women, as does the regularity
of the menstrual cycle (when not manipulated). But do we
know whether all womens eggs ripen at the same rate? If
a womans body naturally ovulates on a 34-day cycle, and
something compels it into a 28-day cycle, does that mean
her eggs are then being systematically expelled from her
ovaries before theyve had enough time to ripen
sufficiently? So subsequent fertilization would result in
miscarriage, as the immature egg would be incapable of
proper development? Early on, I had a feeling that she
should put me on a low dose fertility drug, but my doctor
refused since I didnt have a problem conceiving. Maybe
that would have sped up the ripening process and
produced a viable pregnancy? Perhaps my questions and
hypotheses can help others. I am not qualified to conduct
an official study on the subject, but maybe someone
reading this is...and will. There is still so much we dont
know about miscarriage!
On a brighter note, let me share a personal story with
a happy ending: During the last three weeks of my first
pregnancy, I was confined to bed rest because the baby
had stopped growing. On the surface, bed rest sounds
wonder-ful and inviting. Ahhh, finally, you can just relax,
read, watch tv...You dont have to do a darn thing! No

cooking, no cleaning, no laundry...no nothingand boy, it
gets old in a hurry! I would get so bored I could hardly
stand it.
I was permitted one outing, which was to attend my
sister-in-laws wedding. I took some pictures for the bride,
then while everyone else went to the reception, we
headed for the doctors office to see if I would be induced
that day. The verdict was no, the baby had grown in the
past week, so it was back to bed for me. After three
weeks of bed rest, I was stir crazy enough to actually be
wishing the doctor would induce me instead of dreading it.
My last appointment was scheduled for a Friday. That
Tuesday night I had a vivid dream that my doctors office
had called to reschedule my appointment and get me
delivered. It seemed so realistic, and when I woke up I
was disappointed to realize it had only been a dream. But
early that morning, someone from the doctors office really
did call to say that my doctor wanted me to come in first
thing Thursday instead of Friday. I was excited and
nervous because although the receptionist wouldnt say
so, I strongly suspected that this was it.
When I arrived at her office bright and early the next
morning, my doctor told me that she had awakened the
day before with a strong feeling that she needed to get
me induced. So she had acted on that impression and
called me in a day early. During the delivery that evening,
it became evident that our son had had a bowel
movement while inside me. When she saw the meconium
staining on his head, my doctor called in a team of
pediatric specialists who immediately whisked our baby
away to suction his lungs as soon as he was born.
Chances are he wouldnt have made it had we waited
another day to start labor. How thankful we are that she
didnt ignore that prompting and stick with the original
appointment for Friday! We recognize and acknowledge
the hand of God in this and in all things.
Lana

C h a p t e r 3 62
At about 32 weeks, I felt different, like there was a
large, hard lump at the top of my uterus. I told my doctor
that I thought the baby was breech, but he seemed to not
really pay attention to me. So I grabbed one of my friends
and fellow nurses that I work with (Im a Labor & Delivery
nurse) and she did an ultrasound. Sure enough, I (he)
was breech.
At 38 weeks I was scheduled for an external version
and checked into the hospital for this. One of my good
friends was my nurse. I had helped other patients through
this procedure, but never realized how painful it
was...when two physicians try to turn the baby from
breech to cephalic presentation using their hands on your
abdomen and the ultrasound machine. They only tried for
3 to 5 minutes to no availhe stayed breech. After a few
hours of observation I went home. I had bruises on my
abdomen and really ached from this. The pain was very
intense for those few minutes!
I was also somewhat depressed about the fact that I
would probably need a C-section now, and disappointed
because I wanted to see how I would do in labor, too. In
the last two weeks I came to terms with having a C-
section and was actually nervous that if the baby turned
then I would have to go into labor! Mentally I was
prepared for the C-section. I continued to work full time
until four days prior to my scheduled C-section.
With my second pregnancy, I plan and should be
able to V-BAC [vaginal birth after cesarean]. Lauri

I talked to my mom extensively about her pregnancy
with me. I already knew what she told me, but it refreshed
my memory. Her experiences were not good ones.
She had had three or four miscarriages before me, as
well as a stillborn son, at around 6 months. Apparently,
what she had was what we call an incompetent cervix
today. She always went into labor really early.
When she was about three months pregnant with me,

she started bleeding one day and went to the hospital.
They told her she was going to have another miscarriage.
She had had a cerclage (where they stitch your cervix
closed) before that time. Incidentally, they stitched her
with pink thread because she wanted a girl. My dad and
her had me named, and they referred to me as Sandra,
even though they didnt even know what they were
having.
They wanted to remove the cerclage because if you
have a miscarriage or go into labor, when the baby cant
come out through the cervix, your uterus ruptures and
you, most likely, die. She signed all these forms saying
she would be responsible for whatever happened, but she
wouldnt let them remove that.
That night, she cried when she told me this again,
she spent laying on her back with her hands folded under
her chin, just praying out loud, over and over, for God to
let her keep her baby. All night she prayed until the sun
came up, at which time she dozed off for the first time. A
little while later, when she woke up, she was startled and
grabbed her stomach and wondered what had happened.
She looked all around her on the bed and found no blood
or anything. It turns out that God had answered her
prayers that night.
However, they would absolutely not let her go home
from that point on. She had to stay there for six months
(she went in in the fall and came out in the spring) and lay
on her back with her legs elevated 24 hours a day. Once,
when they thought it was okay, they let her go home for a
day. She spent one night at home, and right away started
bleeding again and had to go back.
Then, when she was near term, they let her go home.
She felt great then, taking long walks with my dad pushing
her uphill, etc. When it was time for her to deliver, I
wouldnt come out and the doctor had to straddle her
stomach and help push me out! What a sight that must
have been!
With my brother, it was almost just as bad, except

C h a p t e r 3 64
that he was born at six months and they were able to save
him. Just as usual, she had early contractions, but this
time, a doctor had a brainstorm. He told her that she must
drink alcohol (a woman who doesnt even have an
occasional wine with dinner!) to relax the contractions.
She would have done anything. It worked! As soon as she
would have contractions, shed drink some cognac and
away theyd go!
This went on for months until the point where she
couldnt stop them anymore and he was born2 pounds
15 ounces and 14 long. He then got jaundice and went
down to 1 1/2 pounds. He used to have what they called
dusky spells where hed stop breathing. It was horrible
theyd call us and tell us to come and say goodbye to him
for the last time, but hed always be okay. Now, here he
is, 6 feet something, and healthier than all of us put
together. God helped us again! JoAnn; shared by
daughter, Sandra

We did not want to know the sex of the baby until
delivery...we wanted it to be a surprise. We had our first
sonogram done at 36 weeks; our baby was breech. Our
doctor suggested a number of options concerning turning
the breech baby around in the uterus before delivery,
including a procedure called version, to be performed at
36-37 weeks while theres still room to turn the baby
around. He also suggested leaving the baby alone, saying
that it could possibly turn on its own later.
One of the complications of doing a version is
spontaneous delivery; another is the possibility of pinching
the umbilical cord and thus cutting off oxygen to the baby.
We prayed and asked our Lord for guidance...we felt we
should not do the version, so we told the doctor and
waited for the baby to come.
At 9:15 p.m. on December 3rd, I went into labor. At
the same moment, my water broke. My contractions were
about 12 minutes apart. I was 39 weeks pregnant and up

to that evening, I had experienced no pre-term
contractions, nor had I dilated at all. My doctor was waiting
for me to set a date to deliver the baby by C-section
(considering that the baby was breech and I was so
small).
My husband was at home when the contractions
started, so we experienced all the excitement of calling
the doctor, gathering up my things, and driving like mad to
the hospitala 10-minute drive. We decided against
continuing labor; I agreed to allow the baby to be born by
cesarean delivery (she was still breech).
I was given an epidural (which worked well) and our
girl was born at 11:59 p.m. When the doctor(s) lifted her
out from the uterus, she had the umbilical cord wrapped
twice around her neck; it was very tight. We were told
later that had we allowed the version to be done, it would
have been very dangerous, probably fatal to the baby.
Thank God for His guidance and goodness! Renee

I went to the ultrasound by myself. I just went to find
out what my baby was going to be, a boy or a girl. And the
lady said there were two, and I was shocked, but it just
kind of confirmed it for me. I knew I was pregnant with
twins anyway. From early on, I could feel movement down
below and then I felt movement up high and I thought,
theres no way that little baby can jump that much. She
showed me the two heads right together, both head down.
I started to bawl...and I didnt know what to think. It was
kind of overwhelming after I got in the car and started to
think about it.
I found out at 51/2 months, and probably about a
month later it got a lot crampier in there. You could tell
that there wasnt any room. With two in there, its very
uncomfortable; you cant bend over whatsoever.
The babies pretty much didnt move a lot during the
day. If at night I would wake up, it was hard for me to get
back to sleep because they were moving constantly at

C h a p t e r 3 66
night. Thats the worst part of itsleeping. I have a body
pillow that you put between your knees and then youre
supposed to tuck it under your stomach and up under
your head. Even that didnt work. In fact, it got to the point
where I didnt even want to go to bed at night because I
knew how uncomfortable it was and I wouldnt get any
sleep anyway. Jana

It took a long time after our first son was born for me
to get pregnant again. And when I finally did, I had a
miscarriage. The doctor scheduled me for a D&C, but
when I got there, he said, Lets listen first. And he heard
a heartbeat! So I had been carrying twins, and lost one.
We were so thankful that he felt a need to doublecheck
before doing the D&C.
After our daughter was born, I was flowing heavily for
much longer than normal, so they put me on birth control
pills every four hours until it stopped, which took about a
week. Then I started to flow again, so I had to start all
over, and this time they said to take them twice a day for
two weeks to make sure it stopped. Thats when I ended
up getting pregnant with our second son, when I was
taking the pills morning and night.
Id had a really high stress week, and I started to flow
very heavily. This was about six weeks after the birth
control pills. I went in to the doctor, and he thought maybe
Id had a miscarriage, so he did a pregnancy test which
came back positive. He was thinking I might have just a
little bit of the placenta still left in there and I might need a
D&C, so they sent me over for an ultrasound which
showed a sac with a baby in it and then an empty sac.
They knew that I had miscarried a twin again so they
were watching the other twin really closely to make sure
he was okay and kept sending me back for ultrasounds.
Then in the seventh month or so they did the last
ultrasound and everything was completely normal. Kim

The first time I got pregnant, I was a couple of
months along, and I lost it, but I never had morning
sickness. I had two pregnancies that I miscarried and I
was never nauseous with those two, and Ive often
wondered if that was because it wasnt growing.
I wanted to have a baby so bad and it had taken me
so long to get pregnant. I didnt have a really hard time
physically miscarrying, but emotionally, it was really, really
hard. I can remember just having such a hard time and my
husband wondering why. Men a lot of times dont really
see you as being pregnant unless youre out there. But
you know, its a part of you from the very, very beginning.
And so its like losing a part of you. It was a real traumatic
thing that way.
I got pregnant in January and lost it in April, and then
I got pregnant with our daughter in June right after that.
And I got sick right off, so my mom was really excited
because she thought, well now this is going to work!
I worried all the time that I was going to lose her. I
wanted a child so bad and it seemed to be so hard for me
to get one.
When they took a urine sample they found sugar,
and so then they did the glucose tolerance test on me and
found that I was in a pre-diabetic state. As the pregnancy
with her progressed, it became worse and worse until
finally they started me on insulin about the week before
she was born. And with the boys, I was a diabetic and on
the insulin the whole time.
Susan

I had barely been to the doctor, probably just that
week. As soon as I missed my first menstrual period, I
figured I must be pregnant, so I made an appointment
with the doctor. Id gone in and had it confirmed and just a
few days later...I went into the bathroom, just normally,
and saw some spotting. I called the doctor right away and
he told me to stay down in bed for a few days, and that
hopefully would stop it. So, I stayed home the next day. I

C h a p t e r 3 68
got up once or twice during the day to go into the
bathroom and I would just have a little bit of spotting,
thats all.
Later, when my husband had only been home from
work a few minutes, I got up and went into the bathroom
again. And then I just lost everything right there. I started
to stand up, but I had lost so much blood that I passed
out. Of course, he came running in, and I told him what
had happened. He carried me into the bedroom and
immediately called the doctor, who said to save whatever
he could in the toilet that might be solid then hurry and
bring me to the hospital. He had told me earlier to save
anything that passed so that they could check it.
My husband was so upset and just panicked because
I was tingly and numb all over. He carried me out and put
me in the back seat of the car and headed for the
hospital. He was running red lights, running stop signs,
trying to get some attention from a policeman so we could
get there faster. Nobody ever stopped us.
When we got there, they took me in and the doctor
examined me. Even at that point, I didnt realize Id had a
miscarriage. It really never went through my mind that
thats what had happened until he said well, most of its
gone, we just have to go in and finish up. And then I
realized that I wasnt pregnant anymore and started to
bawl.
So they did a D&C and then they put me in a room
with another girl who had had a miscarriage. But she had
been about five months along and shed had multiple
miscarriages, so the doctor was giving instructions to her
husband as to what to do. She wasnt in the room at the
time, I guess. He had instructed the husband to go home
and put all the baby stuff away.
Well, when I went home, the only baby thing I had
was gone. After listening to those instructions, he had
taken it and tucked it way back up in the closet so I
couldnt see it.
With my miscarriage, the doctor told me not to feel

too bad because it was not a baby growing, it was only
tissue. It was not developing. The moment that it
happened, when I actually realized I wasnt pregnant
anymore, was very hard. But I hadnt been pregnant long
enough to get used to the idea of really being pregnant.
So I think I adjusted fairly well to the miscarriage.
It wasnt until I was pregnant with our first son four
months later, and I started to spot and bleed again that
my emotions got caught up. Because then I thought, oh
my word, Ill never be able to have a baby. Its always
going to end like this. But I stayed down for about ten
days, and then the bleeding finally stopped. Pat

My first, we had a real scare. He had the cord around
his neck, so he was blue. He was under oxygen, and I
couldnt even hold him. It was awful. They wheeled me in
to the nursery and I got to stick my hands through the
isolette and touch him. I thought that was bad until the
second day, when the doctor comes in and says hes got
strep infection in his blood.
So he decided to send him up to Provo by
ambulance. We followed in our vehicle. All the way up
there, we just bawled our heads off. We didnt know if he
was going to live or not. I had to leave the hospital after
two days. I wasnt ready. I was still trying to recover. All I
had on was the hospital gown and my robe.
He was in ICU for two days. Two days worth of
testing up there, and everything came back negative. So
was this a mistake, or was this a blessing? It was really
neat, but it was really scary. Especially with your first. We
felt lucky that it turned out that way. Deidre

I always had to have the Rhogam shot after all of the
births and miscarriages. All of my children are Rh
negative, like me. The doctors have thought that maybe
the shots didnt work or something. Maybe when I have

C h a p t e r 3 70
positive babies inside me, my body rejects them and kicks
them out.
I have no problem getting pregnant. I mean I can get
pregnant the first time we try. But I just have trouble
keeping them. Ive had a lot of health problems.
I had the first miscarriage when our daughter was
two. I started bleeding, so I called the doctor, and he put
me in the hospital. And I lost it in the hospital that night.
He released me the next day, and then a week later
another fetus came out. So I was pregnant with twins.
That was my first miscarriage, and it was very
emotional. I really, really had a hard time with that. It was
October when I lost it, and I remember the Christmas
catalogs coming out and how sad that was for me looking
at all the little baby things. Its my fault because I kept
dwelling on it. I just kept thinking oh, I would have had this
or it could have been like that. It was dumb and I had to
get myself out of it. And of course I did that with the
church and the temple and prayer. But I really did go into
depression. I know I did.
And then the next August I had another one. And that
was really hard. But that time I worked on myself and I
said, You will not get depressed like you did last time. Its
not worth it. You will not handle things the way you did
before. You know how miserable you were. This time
youre going to go forward and youre not going to look
back and there must be a reason, so handle it. I think you
can talk yourself into handling it. And I did. I was okay. I
mean it was hard, I hurt. You know, its a loss. Theres a
grieving process. But I just didnt let myself get into that rut
of depression or whatever you want to call it.
And then I had our first son. It was an interesting
story. I wanted a baby so badly, I was so baby hungry.
When we thought I was pregnant I went in early because
it was critical. They wanted to check me, because Id had
the two miscarriages. They wanted to just make sure
everything was going well.
So I went in and they checked me and the pregnancy

test and everything was fine. And I went in again a couple
of weeks later and they checked me and everything was
fine. Then I went in a couple of weeks after that and he
said that my uterus had gone down and it just didnt feel
like it had before. He did another pregnancy test; he ran
one in his office and it was negative. So I wasnt pregnant
anymore...and the fetus was dead inside me.
He said, Oh, I cant believe it! Lets run another one.
I went to the hospital and took another pregnancy test,
and it was negative too. The doctor was worried and
concerned and said, Well, the fetus is dead then. Just go
home and it will abort naturally.
Well, I was going crazy because Id already had two
miscarriages, and now I had this dead fetus inside me and
it was going to abort anytime. It was a very emotional time
for me. It was really hard. And I still was nauseous, but a
lot of it I thought was my nerves.
Day after day after day I was waiting for this thing to
naturally abort and it just didnt. It never came. I was sick, I
was nauseous, and emotionally I was having a hard time
because they said I was carrying around this dead fetus.
And so finally I could not stand it anymore. I went
about 2-1/2 to 3 weeks and I called the doctor and said, I
cant handle this, nothings come and Im just going crazy.
Youve got to do something. And he said, Well, we better
do a D&C. So we scheduled the D&C and shortly before I
was supposed to go in for it, the doctor called me and
said, Dont come in. I just have a strong feeling that I
shouldnt do this and I need to find out more. Im going to
send you up to a specialist. So he made me an
appointment and I went up a week or so later to the
specialist.
Well, he didnt do a pregnancy test; he got out his
little stethoscope and listened and he could hear a
heartbeat. And then he put it in my ears, and he said
Listen. That is your baby kicking. It was a little pounding,
and it was just so thrilling to think, Ah, its alive! The
baby was alive inside me. I came out that day thinking,

C h a p t e r 3 72
Ohhh, Im pregnant! I just felt on top of the world
because Id lost two and thought Id lost the third one.
I was just so grateful to my doctor for being spiritually
in tune. And to tell you the truth, the day that I went home
from the hospital after the second pregnancy test that
they said was negative, I thought I was going to die
emotionally, but something said to me, Its okay, it will be
all right. I mean this peace came over me as I drove
home. But once I got home I thought, well maybe the
peace thats coming means that Im not supposed to have
it or something. After that, I thought it was dead, of
course. I really struggled.
Anyway, he told me to go home and go to bed, treat
myself like china. Actually, I had tried to do situps and
exercise extra hard, thinking that maybe this dead fetus
would release and come out! So I went home and was flat
for a couple of months. I was so grateful to be pregnant.
And it was fun because our daughter was almost four,
and so she just stayed by me. She was my little nurse and
shed get me things and then shed come and lay on the
bed with me. Id teach her the alphabet, teach her to write.
We would play cards and do lots of little things together
that I probably wouldnt have done if I hadnt gone flat. I
would have just been busy. So it was kind of a neat
experience.
Our second son just ripped me apart. I had to go to
bed with him my seventh month of pregnancy until the
end because he was so low, they were afraid he was just
going to plain fall out. He had ripped to the vaginal wall.
My bladder was falling out, and my uterus had slipped. I
mean, he was just sitting right there.
Every time Id go to the bathroom, my whole bladder
would come down there. It was awful. At first I was so
nervous, I thought it was the baby coming. Then I went to
the hospital and they said no, everythings been pushed
and unattached and ripped from the baby.
So after I had him, I went in for major surgery. And
they wanted to do a hysterectomy, but I would not do it. I

said no, this cannot be my last child. I love children. You
cant do it. They said youre going to have problems all
your life, you need to do this. And I wouldnt do it. I have
had problems all my life, but I chose not to have the
hysterectomy.
Ive had two miscarriages since then. I love babies.
Ive always wanted more children, but I just dont have the
health. They said I cant even keep one body healthy, let
alone two. They told me not to even dare try.
I had my last miscarriage two years ago. It was the
hardest and most devastating for me because I knew it
was my last try. I knew that I was getting older and I
wasnt very healthy and it was either now or never.
When I got pregnant I was just so excited. I even
went out and bought some maternity clothes, which was
really dumb for me, after all my miscarriages. But I was so
excited, I couldnt stand it and I bought a couple of things.
I started spotting and I thought, Oh, no! I knew what
that meant, so I just went flat. And it was like the next
night that I lost it. I bled and bled so much for about the
next three months that I got ill and anemic and they finally
did a D&C. And that miscarriage was really, really hard on
me emotionally because I thought, Well, last chance. I
guess Im not having anymore then. Karen
{Authors note: Karen subsequently had another son.}

I had two miscarriages, and it was very traumatic. It
was not anything I caused, but it was called a
spontaneous abortion, and that really shook me up to
think about it that way. I coped by walking and talking. If
you can talk about it, then you can live with it, you can
endure it.
It was like I was passing this great big bowl of jello,
this big globule in the toilet. And when I went to the
doctor, he said I had lost half of it. If I didnt lose the other
half, Id have to go in and have a D&C. I did not have one
with that miscarriage, but I did with the next. Cheryl

C h a p t e r 3 74
I nearly lost my life with my first pregnancy with the
afterbirth. The baby came out very well, but I lost a great
amount of blood. I was alert and awake, and then I began
to pass out because of the loss of blood.
My doctor couldnt get the afterbirth out, for what
reason I dont know. He went into a panic situation, he
thought he was losing me. And he probably came very
close to it. I generally hemorrhage a lot in childbirth, but
that experience was just touch and go.
He went in with both hands to pull, and had to call to
other doctors to come in and assist him. It took about 45
minutes, and my mother was there and said she has
never seen anything so horrible in her whole life. And the
nurse that assisted told me afterwards that she had never
seen a woman go through what I had just gone through,
that it was the worst delivery experience she had ever
seen. I think I lost about four pints of blood.
Ive had one miscarriage. The fetus just died early on,
and we dont know why. My body carried it for five
months, though. That was devastating to me to go in for
that ultrasound and to find out that the pregnancy had
died. I didnt want them to take it because I wanted to
make sure it was a miscarriage. I just said it will slough
itself off. But they did like five ultrasounds, and finally just
said, Diane, youve got a mess inside of you right now. I
guess it was starting to decay. And they went in and
cleaned me out with a D&C.
I have whats called an incompetent cervix. All my
babies have come a month early, yet we never thought of
it as being an incompetent cervix. But with the last one, I
was five months pregnant when the sac started to come
out. I had to undergo surgery to save this pregnancy.
They stitched up the cervix.
I was rushed to two different hospitals. At the second
hospital, they put me with my head down, not totally on
top of my head, but they put me on a reclining bed with
my head down for 36 hours to get gravity to cause it to go
back into the birth canal. It was actually coming out of my

body. Then I went in to surgery for four hours, and they
pushed the sac back into the uterus and sewed up the
cervix.
After they stitched me up, they did an ultrasound and
they found out that it was a boy and then they just kind of
monitored. Ill never forget when I did have that
ultrasound, it was one of the happiest Id ever had. I dont
believe I had another one with that pregnancy because I
was put flat in bed at home and the doctor would come to
my home to check me until it was time.
The stitches stayed for maybe a few weeks after they
first did them. My doctor came to my home and checked
me and the stitches were almost out and I was still in the
danger zone and he said, Diane, the baby will come
within two weeks. I just have to warn you right now, the
baby will come. After the doctor left, I was devastated
because that meant that there could possibly be many,
many complications. We had done everything we could to
save that pregnancy, and still his report to us was the
babys going to come.
I received many blessings and offered many prayers
and I just had this overwhelming peace and I knew that
my baby was going to live. I mean I knew everything
would be all right. And two weeks later, the doctor came
and he said, I cant believe this baby hasnt come. A
month later he said it again! And I ended up going almost
full term. I truly have a little miracle.
The stitches were gone, the cervix was dilated, and
the only thing that was keeping the baby in my body was
the fact that I was not standing up. And just so you know, I
was on bed pans and I had to eat with my body down; I
could just barely lift my neck up, my head could tip up, but
not my shoulders and torso.
I had such a sweet experience when that baby was
born. As the doctor delivered him, he said, This ones a
miracle. I just want you to know that Ive never seen a
pregnancy so at risk do so well. As he handed him to me,
this baby looked right up into my eyes, and smiled. Then

C h a p t e r 3 76
he went back to being like a newborn baby would be, kind
of out of it, you know just gazing around, not really
focusing in on anything.
But for a brief moment, it was like his spirit was given
a chance to say thank you to me, and he did. He looked
right in my eyes and then he smiled at me. And I just
really treasure that. That was a really sweet, sweet
experience. Diane

I found out I was pregnant on a Saturday, I just took a
home test. And Monday evening I started to spot. I just
thought okay, sometimes this is normal. I called my doctor
and they said, Go to bed, because they thought I was
going to miscarry. So I went to bed, and then I started
having a lot of pain. It wasnt really localized on one side
or the other. At first I thought I just had gas really bad. I
called to find out what I could do for that, and they told me
to walk around. And then the bleeding got worse.
For three days I was bleeding and in pain and they
kept putting me off. They just thought I was going to lose
the baby, so they kept saying, Just go to bed. My
husband finally took me in because I was really having a
hard time. The doctor checked my cervix and said, Your
cervix is closed, youre just having some normal spotting.
Just go home and take it easy.
So I went back home. Well, then the spotting was not
as bad, but it was bright red, it was fresh blood. Friday I
finally called my doctor and I said, Hey, there is
something wrong. And she said Yeah, youre right. Im
going to schedule you for an emergency ultrasound
tomorrow morning.
I went in for an ultrasound and it was so emotional. It
was hard because nobody would tell me anything. I kept
hearing them saying, What is this fluid, Where is this
coming from, Can you see an egg sac at all, and What
is this over here? I didnt have a clue, and every time Id
try to ask someone, theyd say Well tell you when weve

decided whats going on. The ultrasound took about half
an hour and then they said Okay, you have a pregnancy.
Its in your left tube and were going to have to do
surgery. They sent me upstairs, fifteen minutes later I
was under anesthesia, and I was in surgery. It was that
fast.
I was kind of in shock, and I didnt totally understand
that hey, I wasnt going to have a baby. In fact, I was
going to be in surgery. That was the first time I actually
met the doctor. She came right before they put me under.
She told me, Were going to make a cesarean incision.
Theres a possibility you can lose your tube, but I will try to
save as much of it as I can. And no one actually said to
me, We are taking the baby out. I had to really think
about that, and it didnt even hit me until I woke up and it
was all done, because it happened so fast.
I had a lot of internal bleeding in my body cavity
because I had been bleeding for four days. So they had to
evacuate all that blood and everything. With a lot of tubal
pregnancies they just do the laporoscopy, but she couldnt
do that with me because I had so much blood in there.
They werent sure where the pregnancy was because of
all the fluids. They just knew it was on the left side.
Luckily the pregnancy was in the end of my tube
where it fans out. If it had been higher up where its
smaller, my tube would have probably burst. They told me
I was really lucky because if that happens, you can bleed
to death.
Usually you have a localized pain on one side and
you know that thats where it is. My doctor told me that the
reason I had a lot of pain all over is because when youre
bleeding inside, that hurts. Youre not supposed to have
fluid and blood in your body cavity like that.
They kept me in the hospital for three days. It cost as
much as having a baby. It was frustrating. I had an
incision to heal from and I had to go through postpartum
and all the hormone changes and everything, but I didnt
get to bring a baby home. That was not a fun experience.

C h a p t e r 3 78
It took me a year of calculated trying after that to get
pregnant. I set up an infertility appointment, and three
days before I was supposed to go in I found out I was
pregnant! But it was really a struggle because we
calculated days and checked ovulation and everything for
a whole year. The thought of not being able to have any
children was really hard on me. That was a hard year.
If you have one tubal pregnancy, your chances of
having another one are 50% higher than the average
person. Many women who have one end up having
another one. So every time I get pregnant, they send me
right in for an ultrasound to make sure that there is an egg
sac in my uterus, and everythings okay. For my first
twelve weeks, Im in a panic. Im considered high risk now
because Ive had a tubal and because I have big babies.
My last six weeks with our son I had gestational
diabetes. A lot of times when you have big babies, theyll
have high blood sugar when theyre born. What happens
is the mothers pancreas cant compensate for the babys
need, too, so it produces too much insulin. You get low
blood sugar because the baby takes all your insulin and
the baby gets high blood sugar. That makes babies gain
weight and get too big. Thats probably part of the reason
why I had such a big baby. He was ten pounds when he
was born. I didnt have any diabetes problems with our
daughter at all. After he was born, it was gone. Angela

I had one boy that I had toxemia with so bad they
started to induce labor with a pit drip. He was 10 pounds,
4 ounces. He was just too big. His heart had stopped, so
they had to get him out and get the heart started fast. But
when the doctor pulled with the forceps, the birthing chair
that I was in slid across the room, and he dropped the
forceps. They didnt have time to go in the other room to
get more instruments because they had to get the heart
going. So they got two people to hold the chair in place
while the doctor pulled with his hands.

That really hurt. I had had an epidural, but it didnt
take. I kept hearing how wonderful epidurals were before,
and [that day] I thought everybody was crazy. I just
thought, whats so great about this thing? Id never had
one before so I didnt know that it never took. I just knew
that it hurt like heck. You know, with two hands and that
big of a baby in there it was painful.
And then when he was born, he had had so much
pressure that the right side of his face was paralyzed.
They had pinched a nerve. His eyelids didnt shut, and his
mouth didnt work. The doctor told us that it would take
one to three years if he ever overcame it. And he was so
concerned, he was just really nice. He spent the rest of
the evening there with us. He went home for about a half
an hour, then came back and spent the whole night with
the baby. He was so upset.
But our baby recovered completely in three months. It
was really a miracle. When he was born, he was given a
blessing and we feel like that was what helped him
overcome the paralysis. We worked with a neurologist
and they all said theyd never seen anything at that level
heal so well. Emily

I got pregnant and had my first one and I thought
boy, this would be scary if I got pregnant again right away,
because I didnt have any trouble getting pregnant at all.
And then the more the years went by, the more I thought,
This is never going to happen. Finally, nine years later I
did get pregnant again.
We took it to the Lord and asked Him to please make
it available so that we could have more family. Within
three months, I was pregnant.
I thought I was pregnant, and then they said I wasnt.
But my cycle had stopped so the doctor was going to do a
D&C. And the day that I was scheduled for it, I didnt feel
good about it. I remember going in and I said no, I wanted
a pregnancy test again. They tested me and it was

C h a p t e r 3 80
positive. Sometimes you have to just go on your own
feelings. Its interesting how things happen in your life.
I had lots of problems during my pregnancy; I
threatened miscarriage through the whole pregnancy. And
even though the labor was extremely hard, I wanted this
baby so bad that I didnt care. As soon as she was born I
felt fine. I just remember, that was the most wonderful
thing that ever happened. She was a real little miracle. I
couldnt believe it when I got pregnant again within ten
months! I was just so excited. And my whole pregnancy
with our second son was easy. I didnt have any trouble.
June

About seven weeks before my due date with our
second son, I started having contractions. He was breech.
The delivery went very fastabout two hours or less.
There was no time for a C-section, so the doctor delivered
him breech. He was 4 pounds, 2 ounces. His lungs were
not developed and he was life flighted to a county
hospital. He spent three weeks there and the medical bills
totaled over $50,000. My doctor told me I would most
likely have premature births after that and I should be on
total bed rest at about 24-28 weeks along.
With my third son, I went into premature labor eight
weeks before my due date. A friend took me to a
naturopath. He gave me a shot of B
12
and sent me home
to drink catnip tea. The contractions stopped by night
time, but early in the morning they started again. We
panicked and went to the hospital. I was admitted and the
doctors put me on an IV drip. I dont remember what the
drug was, but it was the most horrifying feeling I have ever
experienced in my life. The doctor said my body would
experience an exhilerating feeling like I was running a
race. He was not even close. I felt terrified. I felt like I was
being chased, as though my life was being threatened. My
heart felt as though it was jumping right through my chest.
And the baby was moving and jumpy all night long. It

terrified me to think what these medications were doing to
him.
The next day the contractions had stopped and I
went home. They gave me a prescription to take every
time my contractions started again. I was on total bed rest
with a 2-year-old and a 1-year-old at home. My
contractions would not stop; they persisted even during
the use of the drug. Finally two weeks later I went into
labor. The baby was breech and would not engage in the
birth canal. An emergency C-section was done. My son
was in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit for nine days.
About two years later I was pregnant with my fourth
son and I knew that I was going to do things differently. I
found a midwife. We talked about my problems. She put
me on a good diet with homemade carrot and apple juices
and lots of greens. I did start contracting at five months
and stayed down as much as possible. By now this is
what my body was thinking was normal, so we had to
reverse its thinking. I drank lots of catnip tea to stop the
contractions. I had a full term baby at home with my
midwife and two assistants.
With my second daughter, I drank a gallon to a gallon
and a half of water a day. I also drank homemade juices
and ate fresh fruits and vegetables. I went into labor a
couple of months before my due date. But with the catnip
tea, raspberry tea, B
12
, B
6
and many other things, I had
another full term pregnancy and a beautiful healthy baby
girl.
My next daughter came a couple of years later. I
drank my gallon of water a day, took my herbs, and visited
my midwife frequently. I had barely any early labor with
that pregnancy and we made it to full term once again.
Almost two years later I was pregnant again. I did
great. No early labors; some Braxton-Hicks contactions,
but not the real thing. I think my body finally realized what
it was supposed to do. Stepheni

C h a p t e r 4 82
c h a p t e r
4
O n e , T w o , B u c k l e
Y o u r S h o e

I remember wishing that I looked pregnantI was so proud
that I was having a baby, I wanted everyone to know. It was
exciting to watch my body changewas there truly life
inside of me? Marie

I cried when I first felt a baby flutter. With older children
around, my last two pregnancies were truly fun. The
children loved feeling the baby move and a few times could
clearly see a foot move across my stomach. Charmaine

One, two, buckle your shoe...while you can still reach
it, that is! Fasten your seat belt, too, and hold onto your
hat...youre in for quite a ride! It will have high points, low
points, lulls, and bumps. Mingled with the thrills will
probably be a few chills, but be assured that the months
ahead promise some of the richest experiences life has to
offer!

First Trimester

Particularly during early pregnancy, many women
experience various ailments including fatigue, dizziness,
headaches, constipation, indigestion, nausea, and
vomiting, most of which can be ascribed to rising
hormonal levels. The severity of these symptoms can
range from mild or even nonexistent to virtually

O n e , T w o , B u c k l e Y o u r S h o e 83
unbearable, varying not only from one woman to another,
but also from one pregnancy to another as well. Many
women report marked differences between pregnancies,
saying each one is a unique experience in and of itself.
Hormones in the bloodstream and digestive tract, the
elusive variables in this equation, are thought to be the
culprits.
They are helping to create the nurturing environment
your baby needs to grow and develop. Appropriate
accomodations have to be made for this special little
someone sharing your body. During these first months,
tremendous physiological and psychological changes are
taking place within you.
As a result, mood swings and feelings of irritability or
depression are perfectly normal occurrences. Laughter
and tears can be triggered by the most trivial
circumstances. Dont be surprised to find yourself
alternately giggling deliriously one minute and crying
hysterically the next. This particular symptom will take
some adjustment not only on your part, but for those
around you as well! You may not be the easiest person to
get along with these days.
Morning sickness, that unpleasant feeling of nausea
at times accompanied by vomiting and generally
associated with the first trimester of pregnancy, is usually
but not always experienced in the morning, immediately
after rising. In medical circles, it was long thought to be in
the womans head and to have little or no physiological
basis. Women were told various absurdities, such as that
they really didnt want the baby on a subconscious level,
and the vomiting was an attempt to expel the pregnancy!
Modern research now validates what women have been
insisting for years: those early theories projected as facts
were incorrect. Morning sickness is a very real physical,
not psychological ailment which can be quite debilitating,
often affecting a womans ability to function in the same
capacity as before pregnancy.
It is very similar in cause and effect to the side

C h a p t e r 4 84
reactions commonly associated with hormone therapy
such as the birth control pill, which is made up of a
combination of hormones, particularly estrogen and
progesterone. Although normally present in much lower
levels, during the weeks following fertilization and
implantation, the body undergoes massive production of
these and other hormones, such as HCG, which work
together to support the developing embryo.
Thankfully, this surging hormonal activity usually
tapers off by the fourth month, when the negative effects
resulting from fluctuating hormonal levels are eased.
Morning sickness is only a temporary condition. When it
seems like it will never end, remember that this too, shall
pass.
Another reassuring and interesting tidbit is that
research suggests women who suffer from the effects of
morning sickness have a decreased likelihood of
miscarrying than those who dont. It appears that nausea
and vomiting may actually signify that all is well with the
baby, if not the mother! So look on the bright side: in a
way, morning sickness is an indicator that the necessary
hormones vital to a healthy pregnancy are in place and
doing their job to sustain new life.
In the meantime, the nausea and vomiting can be
stemmed by avoiding greasy or spicy foods which tend to
aggravate the condition; by eating small meals at regular
intervals in order to have something in the stomach
absorbing acids at all times; and by drinking plenty of
liquids to help neutralize stomach acids and prevent
dehydration. By the way, these measures are also
effective against heartburn.
It should be noted that morning or pregnancy
sickness is by no means limited to mornings only.
Unfortunately, many women suffer from its symptoms
throughout the day or even into the night. A diet amply
fortified with carbohydrates including bread, pasta, whole-
grain cereals, green leafy vegetables, and even bananas
is recommended. The preferred treatment for morning

sickness is crackers. Nibbling on a saltine or graham
cracker first thing in the morning can really make a
difference. Keep a supply handy by your bedside, and
rememberdont leave home without them! Some women
find that lemons or lemonade, toast, potatoes, or
macaroni do the trick as well.
Be aware that smells can trigger or intensify feelings
of nausea. Estrogen heightens and sharpens the sense of
smell, which could be a key element in the onset of
morning sickness. Odors of perfume, tobacco, coffee, etc.
may be especially offensive at this time. Many women
also report a feeling of repulsion at the sight or smell of
certain foods, such as eggs or raw meat cooking. Dont
torment yourself needlessly; try to avoid or at least
minimize contact with things that tend to turn your
stomach and give rise to that unwelcome shade of green
in your countenance! With this strategy, you can fight
nausea by heading it off at the pass.
At mealtime, stick with what looks and smells good as
much as possibleeven if what you really want falls under
the classification of junk food or sweets. At this point,
being able to keep something anythingdown is better
than nothing! After all, what good is it to force feed
yourself the healthy stuff if you cant hold onto it long
enough for digestion to even begin? Get your calories
wherever you can. Give in to your cravings, even if that
means living on potato chips, pretzels, popcorn, cookies,
cake, or whatever else you may be in the mood for. If you
eat what looks, smells, and tastes good, youll probably
feel better. There will be time enough for fish and brussel
sprouts later. But for now, concentrate on surmounting the
nausea and vomiting. If you want it, eat it.
Dont feel guilty about plying your baby with junk food
instead of health food. During the first trimester, the
fetuss minimal nutritional needs can be adequately met
by the mothers stored nutrients. By the time the baby
requires more from your diet, the nausea will likely have
subsided enough for you to be able to not only stomach it,

C h a p t e r 4 86
but probably even want it! Believe it or not, its only a
matter of time before even healthy foods will seem
appetizing again. So, for a limited time only, you can
safely throw caution to the wind and indulge yourself.
In addition to morning sickness, fatigue is quite often
among the earliest and most prominent symptoms to
manifest itself. Pregnant women generally require more
sleep and rest than usual. Retiring earlier at night and
taking a nap or two during the day would be an advisable
practice. All the changes taking place are taxing and
tiring. Energy becomes a depleted commodity needing to
be replenished regularly!
Pregnancy hormones may also cause the intestinal
wall to relax, resulting in constipation. To make matters
worse, the growing uterus puts pressure on the bowels,
thus exacerbating the problem. To remedy this
uncomfortable situation (which can lead to hemorrhoids if
allowed to progress), drink plenty of liquids, especially
water and prune juice, and consume fruits and foods that
are rich in fiber and natural laxatives.
Even though the conditions discussed up until now
are admittedly unpleasant at best and downright
miserable at worst, they generally pose no threat to the
developing fetus. However, pregnant women should be
aware of possible health hazards which could be harmful
to the baby. Exposure to certain parasites and chemicals
falls within this realm. To guard against the danger of
contracting a parasitic disease such as toxoplasmosis, the
pregnant woman should wash her hands thoroughly after
handling raw meat and avoid contact with cat feces. Do
not clean the litter box; delegate this task to another family
member. Also forego puttering around in the garden if you
suspect it has been frequented by cats.
Wear gloves while using cleaning products, and
make sure theres proper ventilation to avoid inhaling
strong fumes. Do not use other chemicals such as
insecticides. Hair treatments involving prolonged exposure
to fumes, including perms and dyes, should be postponed

until after delivery. Besides, pregnancy hormones can
affect the hair and cause it to react differently than
expected to these treatments.
The first three months can be rocky, but hang in
there! Most of the early discomforts are only temporary
and begin to fade away with the dawning of the second
trimester.

Second Trimester

Following the turmoil of the first trimester, most
women experience a period of welcome calm and
contentment during the second trimester. Its generally a
relief to enter this phase of pregnancy, since many of the
symptoms initially present subside as the body goes
through a brief lull before embarking on the final stretch
(pun intended) of the journey to motherhood!
Whereas in the early months of pregnancy a
diminished appetite often accompanies the morning
sickness, in the following months many women make up
for lost meals with a ravenous appetite. This is good,
because by now the growing baby requires an intake of
about 300 additional calories per day. By the end of your
pregnancy, you should have gained about 30 pounds
total. This averages out to a little more than a pound a
week, but dont expect it to be as evenly distributed as
that! Actually, you will likely gain more weight during the
last trimester than the first two trimesters combined.
This is also a time when cravings may begin to
surface. Expectant mothers often find themselves fighting
(or indulging) the temptation to devour specific foods,
ranging from the traditional pickles and ice cream to
something more universally appealing such as brownies
and ice cream. You should be okay eating moderate
amounts of the foods you crave. Just remember to eat a
well-balanced diet consisting of items from the four basic
food groups (fruits and vegetables, breads and cereals,

C h a p t e r 4 88
milk/milk products, and meat, fish, eggs, & poultry).
Satisfy your cravings without shorting your nutritional
requirements.
Sometime during the second trimester (usually
between the 16th and 20th weeks of pregnancy), the
babys first movements are felt. These early stirrings,
referred to as quickening, may be mistaken for gas at
first, but with time and repetition are unquestionably
recognized as the manifestation of thriving life they truly
are.
The thrill of feeling life within is one of the highest
points of the pregnancy experience. Finally, the mother
has personal confirmation that she is indeed carrying a
new life inside of her. This is a very joyous and spiritual
time, as the mother realizes the full impact of her
partnership with God in the creation of life.
What starts as an exhilerating flutter is gradually
transformed into rousing acrobatics, so savor the subtle
sensations while they last. Soon enough others will be
able to witness the babys movement, too, but for now its
just between you and your baby.
While these cherished kicks and pokes instill wonder
and awe in the expectant mother, they are also a good
indicator of health and vigor. Once recognized, the babys
movements should be noted regularly. By the 24th to 28th
week, the level of activity should have increased to a daily
occurrence. Consult your doctor should the established
pattern of activity decline significantly.
The intensity of the movements will vary according to
the predisposition of the individual child as well as to the
stage of pregnancy. Vigor tends to decrease along with
space as the baby grows and becomes more constricted
in the womb.
Stretch marks often begin to appear during this time
of growth as the skin responds to the enlargement of the
body. Although they may not disappear entirely, most of
these marks will fade after delivery.
The further along you get, the more you will

experience a variety of symptoms. Strange dreams may
begin to haunt you late in the second trimester,
particularly those causing anxiety about your babys
safety or questioning your ability to be a good mother.
Such dreams merely represent your normal subconscious
fears and concerns. Be assured that they in no way
indicate that you will indeed misplace your baby, or forget
to feed him, or leave her unattended in the mall!
For the most part, the second trimester will be the
best period of your pregnancy, so enjoy it while it lasts.
This is an ideal time for nesting, or preparing a place in
the home for the baby. Have fun shopping and nesting!


Feeling the baby move was awesome! I loved those
early pokes and nudges. Our son was much more athletic
in the womb than our daughter (she has since learned to
keep up with him). He would practice his karate chops and
kicks with vigor. She, on the other hand, would just calmly
stretch and turn, never getting too excited about anything.
I suspected she was a girl because she was so mellow
and relaxed in there compared to her older brother!
During my first pregnancy, I was always hungry
during the first few months. In fact, it scared me to think
how hungry Id be when the baby neared full term, if I was
having to eat constantly when it was only the size of a
pea! But as it turned out, I later lost that ravenous
appetite and ended up having to drink instant breakfast
supplements in order to put on some weight.
With my second pregnancy, I had an enormous
appetite, especially towards the end. It was summertime,
and I loved barbecue. Id pile the food onto my plate, and
my husband would laugh, saying my eyes were bigger
than my stomach. Well, my stomach was pretty big! Much
to his surprise, Id polish it all off and start looking around
for more!

C h a p t e r 4 90
Certain smells made me sick to my stomach,
especially ground beef. I couldnt even stand to look at
raw ground beef, much less handle the stuff or cook it. I
could eat it, but my husband would have to prepare those
meals. Lana

Then there is morning sickness (or all day sickness in
my case). I never threw up, but just felt nauseous all day.
Eating crackers helped and keeping something in my
stomach at all times (I snacked a lot). I remember all of a
sud-den feeling better one daythe nausea was gone and
I had my appetite back. I was hungry again! It was so nice
not to feel sick every day.
During my second trimester I got to start wearing
maternity clothes to work. I will never forget the day I
realized it was time. Id worn a silk blouse tucked into a
wool skirt. Putting the outfit on that morning, the thought
crossed my mind that it might be a little snug. But, no, I
was proud I could still wear it and it looked good. Well, I
dont have to tell you that by lunch time I was so
uncomfortable I almost went home (those panty hose
were the worst). When my husband called me at work that
day, I begged him to go shopping with me that night (it
was Friday). Thats when I started my maternity wardrobe.
I probably looked fine that day at work, but I was
physically uncomfortable as well as feeling just plain fat.
Overall the second trimester was really good for me
(actually my whole pregnancy was good). I enjoyed the
attention I got being pregnant (not everyone does). I didnt
mind it when friends touched my tummy. The only time
that bothered me was when I was not showing at all (not
even wearing maternity clothes) and one of my co-
workers touched my stomach and asked how I was doing.
I guess I felt like there wasnt anything there for her to
touch yet, but as soon as I got bigger it was okay. It is
strange how people are drawn to touch a pregnant
womans belly. I had one friend who never touched my

tummy when I was pregnantshe never had children (and
never would) and I think it was hard on her to see me
pregnant. Marie

With the first pregnancy, I had about two months of
nausea/vomiting and almost always gagged and vomited
while brushing my teeth. I never had heartburn. I still
managed to gain weight even with nausea/vomiting. After
morning sickness passed, food never tasted so good. I did
have cravings; I remember eating crab legs and sardines.
With this pregnancy, I only vomited twice. I am much
more tired than the first time. I am getting cravings again,
too (sardines, of course). Lauri

For me the nausea was not significant; there was
some, but in four pregnancies Ive probably only thrown
up a dozen times. But what hits me is the extreme fatigue.
With this last pregnancy I remember three or four times
feeling the exhaustion of running when Id done nothing to
exert extra energy, then sitting down and still not feeling
relieved.
I enjoy the anticipation of feeling the first movements.
I have felt all of my children by the 16th week, but I had to
be very still and focused on my stomach. Im in my second
trimester with this pregnancy and I forgot how much
discomfort and back pain is involved in the settling and
loosening of your joints, also related to the weight shifting
forward.
Each pregnancy, each delivery, and each child has
been so different. Just watch for the signs and milestones
and enjoy the changes in your body; it will only happen a
few times in your life. Martha

I had the best pregnancy, overall, that Id ever even
heard of. I never even felt pregnant until later, like in the

C h a p t e r 4 92
fifth or sixth month. I never had any morning sickness to
speak of, just mild nausea on two or three occasions.
The most thrilling part of pregnancy, for me, was to
have the baby moving around inside of me every day,
once he started to. That is one thing in life that I think
cannot be outdone by anything else. My husband used to
talk to my tummy every single night and hed say things
like, Hi baby. I love you so much. I cant wait to see you.
Every time he said something, the baby would give him a
nudge. Then hed touch him back, and so on and so forth.
It was great. Sandra

With our daughter there wasnt a day that I didnt
throw up, the whole eight months I carried her. Every
single day. And I would throw up so much that I would just
throw up bile, there was nothing in me...
I think that has a lot to do with your first pregnancy
because you dont really understand that you need to
keep something in your stomach to help the nausea. And I
think that thats maybe one of the reasons why I wasnt as
sick with my other two pregnancies...I was really sick with
our daughter, and I didnt feel like eating so I wouldnt eat.
And with the boys, I was a diabetic and on the insulin and
had to eat even though it didnt sound good or taste good,
and I think thats better.
Susan

I remember the joy of being with child, although the
sickness and breast tenderness were not wonderful. Back
in my day the doctor gave pills for everything. Im not sure
how my children survived! I was 43 when the last one was
born, and though it was a wanted and welcome
pregnancy, I lacked the energy to cope well at times. It
was the first one without any pill help, which made
sickness and water retention very hard.
Charmaine

Oh, I ate like a horse. I felt nauseous a lot, but a
cracker or anything to eat would just be a miracle cure.
Usually I would feel sick if I went more than an hour or two
without eating, so if I kept a constant flow of food coming
in, then I was okay. During the first three months I was
more likely to get queasy, but the whole pregnancy I never
left my house without crackers in my purse. Now, Im not
pregnant, but if I get sick to my stomach, I eat a cracker. It
doesnt help like it did when I was pregnant, but still I use
my miracle cure.
Id only get sick if I was on a boat or on a bus or
something. The smell of garlic and onions would make me
really sick to my stomach when I was pregnant with our
daughter. We were living in Taiwan, and everybody
around me cooked with that. I couldnt stand the smell of
the Chinese food. But then when I was pregnant with our
son, I loved that smell. I would eat all this Chinese food
that I would never eat before. Thats why I kind of thought
he was a boy, because it was such a difference.
I didnt like the first trimester very much because I
would feel queasy a lot and really tired. But the second
trimester, when I was still kind of small and the baby
would be kicking, I liked that. I worked alone a lot when I
was pregnant with our daughter, doing editing and
writing...Id be working at my computer and I felt like I had
somebody keeping me company because shed be kicking
at the desk, letting me know she was there. Sandi

The only discomforts I remember in the first trimester
were headaches sometimes, and also the feeling of
nausea, especially if I was hungry. In the second trimester
I had more energy and a better appetite. Best of all was
being able to feel the baby move.
I always looked forward to going to have an
ultrasound and seeing all the different parts of the babys
body and knowing that it had fingers, legs, feet, toes, etc!
Lori

C h a p t e r 4 94
I had morining, noon, and night sickness. I lost ten
pounds, going from 100 to 90 pounds. About all that I
could keep down or that appealed to me were things like
toast, lots of hot tea, soup crackers, scrambled eggs,
strawberry milkshakes, and rice.
The second trimester was much better than the first; I
had very little morning sickness. My focus was to steadily
gain weight. I went from 90 pounds during the first
trimester to 120 pounds by the end of my 39th week of
pregnancy. Renee

I fortunately didnt have morning sickness like most
women. The only thing that bothered me in that way was
maybe at night after Id been to work all day and would
come home and start cooking some meat or something, I
would get a little nauseous. But I really cannot remember
ever throwing up with a pregnancy, which I was eternally
grateful for because being sick to my stomach and
throwing up is one of the worst things that can happen to
me. I can take all kinds of pain, but I cannot stand to be
sick to my stomach. Pat

With our first son I was never sick a day, not one day.
And I thought how easy it was; I was fine. I didnt miss a
day of work because of him. And with my second one I
got the feeling of being nauseated, but never got sick. I
just had a nauseated feeling for about three months right
at first. And then with my third son, I was quite sick for
about five months, throwing up quite a bit and everybody
said it was a girl because it was so much of a different
kind of pregnancy than the others. I felt so much different.
I seemed to be prone to headaches, especially during the
first trimester. Gail

With my first, I was really sick. I had headaches
constantly and I was nauseous, but I never, ever threw up
with morning sickness. My second one, I was hardly sick
at all. Hardly any headaches, hardly any nausea. It was a
breeze of a pregnancy, actually. And then my third was
back to the same old thing. Nausea and headaches, really
bad.
I remember crying a lot; one minute youre happy, the
next minute youre sad. You cry about everything. I think it
seems like my second one where I wasnt as sick, it didnt
seem to be as emotional. You feel so blessed and so
lucky and so happy, and one little thing might happen and
you just start crying and then youre sad and stressed and
depressed for a little while, and then you change again.
Up and down, up and down.
I gain a lot, fast. Thats what I really hate. I look like
Im nine months when Im five months. And the rest of my
pregnancy after five months people are saying, Oh,
youre due anytime. Its awful. But then my weight slows
down. All three of my pregnancies I gained exactly 30
pounds, so its pretty even. Deidre

Mine was a textbook pregnancy. At four months we
heard the babys heart beat. I couldnt believe it! There
was a little person growing inside of me. We cried
because it was so wonderful. I felt the first kick at around
five months and my husband felt it at around six months.
Marcia

The hardest part was the nausea and vomiting. I
suffered with that at least four months. Childbirth wasnt
easy, especially with the first child. But still, that only
lasted four hours compared to four months of nausea,
nausea, nausea. Whatever I ate, I threw up. I couldnt
stand certain smells. Id get sick right away. The smell of
coffee or cigarettes was awful. Branka

C h a p t e r 4 96
Nausea was with me from the beginning to the end of
my pregnancy. It was worse definitely for the first three
months. Smells were the thing that would set it off the
most. And my apartment smelled bad to me. Id open the
door and Id have to just brace myself before I walked in. I
didnt throw up a whole lot, but it was the worst of the
worst.
I slept most of the first three months, probably. I
remember being really tired and sitting on the couch, just
laying there trying to not feel gross. Macaroni and cheese
was the one thing that sounded best most of the time. I
ate so much macaroni and cheese and Chinese noodles
during the time I was pregnant that it took about a year
afterwards before I could stand them again. The nausea
finally did die down a little bit, but it never really went away
until after our son was born.
The first time that I felt him move was the day we
were moving into this house from our apartment. I was
laying there in bed because I was thinking about all the
things I had to do, and I just felt this little tiny movement.
That was really exciting and fun. That and hearing the
heart beat for the first time or two were the highlights.
And then, of course, when it gets bigger, you just
watch your stomach do gymnastics! Its kind of weird to
watch yourself moving and know that youre not doing it.
Sharon

It differed with all three. With my first, it was probably
six or seven months that I was deathly sick, nauseous.
And I did throw up once. But I wanted to. I felt like if I
could just throw up, I would feel better. You feel nauseous
and it never goes away. Night or day, it never went away.
With my third, I remember this person saying
something like, Gosh, youre ornery! It was a man. I said
Well, you just think about having a stomach flu for four
months straight in a row without any letup and think about
how youd feel! I lost quite a bit of weight because I was

so sick I couldnt eat. I didnt really have cravings because
I would be really sick.
My babies had a lot of movement. At about four
months, it would just be a little flutter, just like a little
butterfly flapping its wings is what it would feel like to me.
My favorite thing wasand this is what I long to be
pregnant forwhen theyd stretch out their little feet and
just go cleeeaaar across the stomach. And I could feel
this little foot just moving from one side clear to the other.
I just loved it. That was fun. Karen

I was extremely sick all day long. I would get worse at
night. I was sick about the first four months. But my third
pregnancy, I had very little morning sickness.
With my two boys I dont really remember the first
time I felt life, but with my second pregnancy, I remember
definitely feeling the first movement. It was just like a
butterfly. I couldnt believe I was pregnant, so everything
about it was like the first time to me. It was just like a fairy
tale. June

Along with all the emotions, there are the physical
challenges of being pregnant. I have morning sickness,
but its not just in the morning. I have it 24 hours a day. I
drink lots of water and red raspberry tea, and I try not to
have an empty stomach. I eat small amounts all day and
snack on fresh fruit in between. This helps a lot.
By the time I start gaining weight and wearing
maternity clothes, Im feeling really good and enjoying the
pregnancy. I really love this stagefeeling the first
movements, hearing the heartbeat, and watching myself
get fatter. I know the baby is growing, and these
experiences are so wonderful and exciting. Stepheni

C h a p t e r 4 98
I hate morning sickness. I think its one of the ickiest
feelings there is. Its awful. It makes me so sick that I have
to lay down a lot, and Im a very active person, so its
difficult for me to feel like I have to constantly be laying
down. Im one who throws up a lot and smells bother me
those first few months.
I was constantly throwing up. Ive got a lot of throw up
stories. I know that sounds gross, but...Each time Im
pregnant, I get very, very sick. That was my burden with
pregnancy. I have a real struggle, but it just lasts the first
four months and then its gone, it disappears. Diane
The first three months I was nauseous, but it was
bearable. I was happy I was going to be a mommy. I
always worried about my baby. I felt wonderful after three
months. I was happy.
Once during my first pregnancy I was very sick
coming home from work on the bus. I got off the bus and
started vomiting in front of a bar and people were driving
by and yelling at me, thinking I was a drunk! Svetlana

I probably threw up maybe once in all the
pregnancies. I had a different craving with every
pregnancy. With one it was root beer floats. I loved root
beer floats. And I still do. With another it was apples. With
one it was grapefruit. With the last one it was chocolate
and I cant get off that. But you always had a different
craving with every pregnancy, something that youd just
eat all the time, to excess. I would want those things all
the time. Cheryl

With the first one, I was nauseated the whole time
and on medication to help stop the sickness or else Id
lose my meals half an hour after I ate them. The second
pregnancy I didnt have one day of nausea the whole
time. But just around the third month, I would feel queasy
in the afternoon for a few weeks. If I ate something I was

fine, but it never went to nausea. And then the third one
was half and half; I was nauseated the first half of the
pregnancy and then not the second half. And this last
one, I was throwing everything up all the time. I really
started getting sick at two months, and I couldnt eat
anything after about noon or I knew Id lose it. I wasnt
nauseated, which was weird. I would just throw up. Smells
didnt bother me, I liked about everything I could smell and
see. I would pitch a fit to eat it, but I knew I couldnt keep it
down. I would have relapses every so often, but after
about 4 1/2 months I was okay. Jayne

With our son, I was sick for the first 3 1/2 months. It
wasnt really bad. I would throw up a couple of times a
day. It was usually when my stomach would get too empty
or if I ate just a piece of fruit or something wet and cold.
Smells really bothered me, even with my second one.
Certain kinds of smells were really hard.
With my second pregnancy, I threw up a whole
bunch, all the time. I rarely lost a whole meal with my first
one, but with her, all the time. In fact, I lost seven pounds
in my first month of being sick because I was just not
keeping much down at all. I weighed less after I had her
than I did when I got pregnant with her! That was really
nice.
I felt our son move at about twelve weeks. My doctor
kept saying no, and I said, Yes, Im feeling this baby! I
felt him a lot sooner than I did our daughter, which was
weird because people kept telling me you feel your other
children sooner because you understand what youre
going to feel. It was about four months before I felt her. I
used to love the first movements. Theyre just kind of a
tickling. I thought that was so fun.
Angela

C h a p t e r 4 100
Yea, the nausea is finally subsiding! I definitely have
more energy, and I love being pregnant. I started to feel
the baby move around week 20. At first it felt like
butterflies in my stomach, and before I knew it, I could feel
kicks, punches, spins, and even hiccups! Im probably
gaining more weight than I should be, but I dont care. Oh,
I bought a body pillow, and I love it! Every night I read my
pregnancy books. Helena

T h e F i n a l S t r e t c h ! 101
c h a p t e r
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T h e F i n a l S t r e t c h !

My feet were so swollen, I couldnt get shoes on sometimes.
I slept with my feet elevated, and once I would put shoes on
for the day, they didnt come off until I was home and
staying put. One time I wanted to go shopping in the
evening and I had to wear my husbands shoes because my
feet were so big! Marcia

With our son my stretch marks went vertical. With our
daughter my stretch marks were horizontal. Ive got a
checkerboard on my stomach! Angela

With the last one, I hardly gained any weight because I
started out so much fatter. When I graduated from high
school, I had a 19-inch waist. My thighs are that big now.
Eight kids later, five pounds per child, and then just figure
a few candy bars in there, and thats about what Im
overweight! Cheryl

Well, the vacation is officially over, and now the
business of carrying a baby continues in earnest! Its been
said that being big with child is like going around with a
ten-pound bag of potatoes strapped to your belly; and you
cant set it down. Sometimes its not so bad; sometimes
its worse. But its always exciting and awe-inspiring.
Youre probably almost ready to meet this little
person by now, but there are a few more mileposts youll
have to pass before you can find out just who it is youve
got in there. Welcome to the third trimester!

C h a p t e r 5 102
Moving to the Beat of a Different Drum

Your body is in the process of undergoing a BIG
transformation that will seem to be taking place right
before your eyes. Incidentally, you might want to take a
good look at your toes, because you may not be seeing
much of them or anything else near the floor for awhile.
There will soon be an obstacle resembling a beach ball in
size and shape protruding from your midsection and
obstructing your view, hampering your movements, and
arriving everywhere before you do!
Not only that, but the resident of the beach ball will
be making his presence felt with some swift kicks,
powerful jabs, gut-wrenching somersaults, tireless jumping
jacks, and an occasional slow stretch thrown in for good
measure. All this commotion might make you wonder
whether youre bringing a future dancer, aerobics
instructor, gymnast, boxer, or martial arts expert into the
world!
Sound like fun? As amusing as your babys activity
may be to you, it might actually even draw an audience,
attracting some awkward attention and raising a few
eyebrows if the rousing acrobatics generate enough force
to cause your clothing to move to the beat. Even from
within, the kid is already embarrassing you! If you think
thats bad, just wait till you see what he can do once he
comes out.
Women in their third trimester of pregnancy also
experience a rise in skin temperature from the body heat
being generated by the baby through the placenta. For
this reason, summer pregnancies can be especially
uncomfortable. I know, I had one. Our daughter was due
in September, and after several miserable weeks in
midsummer without air conditioning, we finally broke down
and charged a swamp cooler. The relief was well worth
the temporary debt.

The Pressure Mounts

The weight of the baby puts downward pressure on
the bladder, requiring more and more frequent trips to the
bathroom. And upward pressure on the diaphragm may
cause difficulty in breathing.
Not only that, but pressure against the stomach can
result in heartburn and indigestion. The stomach loses
some of its storage capacity, necessitating smaller meals
taken throughout the day rather than the usual few at
longer intervals apart.
Pressure on the pelvis can result in swelling of the
ankles. Dont stand for prolonged periods of time, and
keep your legs and feet elevated as much as possible to
relieve this condition. Backaches and leg cramps are also
common complaints.
Lying on the back can cause the uterus to press
against the vena cava, the main vein which returns blood
to the heart from the lower body. If this happens, blood
pressure drops and feelings of faintness or nausea may
be experienced. Belly sleepers arent much better off than
back sleepers, for obvious reasons. Sleeping on the left
side is usually most comfortable, and using a body pillow
or propping regular pillows under the legs and belly is
recommended.
And lastly, as we all know, whether pregnant or not,
pressure on the brain results in anxiety!Put em all
together and what have you got? Well, its not exactly
bibbity bobbity boo, or sleeping beauty, either...
The extra weight youre hauling around will likely
bring on fatigue, making you want to sleep a lot. But rising
fears, a pressing need to urinate, cramping of the legs,
and trying in vain to get comfortable can individually or
collectively lead to insomnia. Add to these frustrations the
fact that many babies are most active at night while the
mother is trying to rest, and youre looking at a strong
possibility of some sleepless nights.
To combat this complaint, try taking a warm bath or

C h a p t e r 5 104
shower and drinking some soothing herbal tea or warm
milk before bedtime and then curling up with a good book.
Granted, all of this doesnt smack much of a fairy
tale, but then lets not forget that we havent gotten to the
ending yet... Even the damsels in the best stories must
endure some distress before they can ride off into the
sunset and live happily ever after!
Besides, its really not so bad. The anticipation and
excitement of having a baby far exceed the discomfort.
Nurturing a new life requires a certain degree of sacrifice,
but once you get that little bundle of joy out of your belly
and into your arms, youll know it was all worth it. Chances
are, youll even start thinking about doing it all over again!

The Last Leg

Not only is the third trimester the last leg of your
journey to motherhood, but chances are youll feel like
youre on your last legs by the time you cross the finish
line! In a perverse way, this is actually the beauty of the
game plan. You see, the closer you get to that due date,
the more ready you are to do whatever it takes to get the
whole thing over with.
Nevertheless, you will likely experience some degree
of anxiety about the birth process itselfworrying about
the babys health as well as your own. Fear of pain is also
perfectly natural. But that doesnt mean that the birth
experience has to be. Whether you prefer a medicalized
delivery or the medication-free route, you have a variety of
options available to you, and now is the time to familiarize
yourself with them.
There is nothing unnatural about choosing pain
relief in some form, such as the epidural block.
16
It blunts

16
Regional anesthetic injected into the epidural space at the
base of the spinal column that deadens the nerves around the

the pain and does not diminish the quality of the birth
experience, despite the assertions of some to the
contrary, who claim that pain relief does just the opposite.
Epidurals interfere with the pain, not the process.
The epidural procedure itself may seem somewhat
intimidating, but is actually relatively painless (especially
when compared with the alternative). Before injection of
the epidural, an intravenous needle (IV) is inserted in the
arm. This precautionary measure facilitates the
administration of fluids or medications as necessary to
increase fluid volume and prevent a drop in blood
pressure, which will be monitored closely. A fetal monitor
will also be used to keep tabs on the babys heart rate as
well as the contractions you wont be feeling.
After disinfecting a small area of the lower back, the
anesthesiologist carefully guides the rather large needle
into the epidural space around the spinal membrane. A
small catheter is then threaded through the body of the
needle and taped in place. The objectionable needle can
then be removed.
The anesthetic is injected through the catheter, either
continuously through a pump or in regulated doses.
Taking effect as quickly as within five minutes, the
medication numbs the patient from the waist down. The
anesthetist can regulate the dosage and concentration of
the medication to determine the extent and duration of
pain relief.
Occasionally, the epidural will only take on one side,
leaving the other unaffected. You should be instructed to
lie on alternate sides, turning regularly in order to ensure
even distribution of the medication and avoid a one-sided
block. For an epidural to fail entirely is a rare occurrence,
most likely linked to the skill or expertise of the person
administering it.
Epidurals do not cloud the mind as other drugs can,

spine and blocks the pain messages that would otherwise be
sent to the brain.

C h a p t e r 5 106
but allow the mother to be awake and fully aware for the
birth of her baby. Negative effects on the baby are
debatable. Some will argue that epidural babies are
groggy, listless, or unable to nurse well. But research has
not validated these theories. Although epidurals have
been associated with post-delivery backaches, no
significant complications or long-term side effects for
mother or child have been medically substantiated.
While epidurals can slow labor down, necessitating
medical interventions such as Pitocin, forceps, vacuum
extraction, or cesareans (especially with first time
mothers), it has been conversely argued that they may
also have the opposite effect in some women. The
epidural can actually play a significant role in labor
progress by providing a respite from pain, the primary
impediment to relaxation, and thereby relieving extreme
anxiety which might otherwise be holding back progress.
True, an epidural can also lessen a womans ability to
push, but so can fatigue from being in the throes of a
prolonged natural labor. Cutting back the amount of
medication close to delivery enables the woman to feel
enough pressure to be able to help push the baby out.
The effectiveness of epidurals is born out by the fact
that in many hospitals, their popularity has risen to the
extent that they are used in as many as 80% of all labors.
Thats a lot of satisfied customers. This state-of-the art
form of obstetric pain relief has become the method of
choice for many laboring women. Other methods
previously used for easing discomfort in labor such as the
paracervical block and nitrous oxide or laughing gas
have been replaced by the epidural block.
On the other hand, going natural is an equally valid
and respectable route. Many mothers report that the
pressure of the babys head on the pelvis during labor
acts as a sort of natural anesthetic and numbs the pain of
the actual birth. That could very well be the original form
of anesthesia in childbirth, built right into our systems!
If you prefer to face childbirth head on without the

administration of pain relieving drugs, you have a variety
of alternatives available to you. There are several well-
known breathing techniques and relaxation methods, such
as Lamaze and Bradley, which can be effective in the
management of labor pain. Most childbirth preparation
classes teach women and their coaches the proper
implementation of these methods during labor. Armed with
a working knowledge of muscle relaxation techniques,
and the fortitude to carry them out, a woman can reason-
ably expect some measure of increased tolerance to pain.
Breathing is synchronized with contractions to keep
the oxygen flowing to the uterine muscles and ease pain.
The laboring woman also uses positive imagery, and
concentrates on a predetermined focal point during the
breathing exercises to keep her mind off the pain. More
difficult breathing techniques are used with stronger
contractions.
Moving around and trying alternative birth positions
increases comfort and efficiency during labor. Vertical and
side-lying positions seem to be most advantageous.
Listening to soothing music is another valuable aid in
relaxation. Physical contact during labor, from holding
hands to massage, may also be beneficial in coping with
pain.
The primary responsibility of the labor coach is to
provide sup-port, encouragement, and instruction to the
laboring mother. Offering complaints, criticism, or
platitudes is not recommended. He can also serve as a
spokesman, interceding with the hospital staff for the
laboring mother by asking questions, requesting pain
medication, etc.
In conclusion, do some comparison shopping. Study
and weigh your options carefully, taking into consideration
your own pain threshold and level of self-control. Is one
philosophy better than the other in your mind? You dont
have to make a final decision until youre actually there
and can see how your labor is going, but be informed
beforehand.

C h a p t e r 5 108
And dont be too hard on yourself if you had planned
to go natural but end up asking for drugs when it comes
right down to it. That doesnt make you a failure in any
way. The purpose of childbirth is to produce a healthy
baby. It doesnt have to be traumatic or dramatic or
politically correct. Its not an endurance test or a
competition. You dont have to prove anything to anyone.
Whichever route you choose, natural or
medicalized, being mentally prepared and maintaining a
positive attitude can make the birth experience go
smoother.


When I was about seven months pregnant, my
husband and I went out running errands one morning, and
by the time we came home for lunch I was in a famished
state. We searched the fridge and managed to scare up
enough fixins for two sandwiches.
My husband made me one first, and it looked
absolutely delicious. My mouth was watering and I could
hardly wait to sink my teeth into it. But as I picked the
sandwich up off the counter and headed for the table, it
jumped out of my hands and onto the floor. I stared at it
incredulously then started to laugh and cry at the same
time. My brain thought it was hilarious, but my stomach
failed to find any humor in having its lunch splatted on the
linoleum! Of course, my husband gave me his sandwich
and salvaged what he could off the floor for himself.
A Chinese takeout place opened right next to our
apartment complex sometime around my third trimester.
Coincidentally, right around the same time I was always
craving Chinese food. Their sales dropped dramatically
after our son was born. We also ate a lot of macaroni and
cheese at that time, but Im not sure if thats so much
because I was craving it or because it was cheap and
easy to fix.

Epidurals? I love them! In fact, my greatest fear
during delivery was that the medication would run out and
Id feel the pain. I wouldnt consider having a baby without
an epidural, but at the same time I respect every womans
right to make that choice for herself. I resent those who
forcefully advocate natural childbirth with disdain for
those of us who choose the painfree route and try to cram
their views down our tender throats!
I have a lot of respect and admiration for women who
have endured the pains of childbirth, but it holds no
temptation whatsoever for me. Ive had enough of a taste
of labor pains when epidurals wore off or didnt take
completely to know that Im not a candidate for it. As for
the argument that drugs are bad for the infant, neither of
my babies was adversely affected by the epidural.
With my second child, the epidural wore off and
couldnt stifle the pain of the worst contractions toward the
end. My doctor suggested that pushing against the
contractions might ease the pain. I doubted it would, but
gave it a try. Half a push later, the baby was born and
either the pain went away or I just didnt care anymore. All
of my attention was focused on that baby girl. Lana

I had some problems with swelling in my legs and
feet a little bit; not like some women do, but enough that it
was ugly to me. Especially with the first pregnancy I
noticed it, but then I think that was because it was just hot
and I was working and sitting a lot. You dont get a lot of
circulation, so your legs swell. I used to have back
problems, especially in the later months.
I was seven months pregnant with our second
daughter, and I would drive the tractor during that winter
because we had to feed those cows. Wed pick up the
bales of hay and put it in the bucket of the tractor and Id
drive it on down there and then our oldest son would get
out and knock the hay off. And I drove a truck that winter
not too long before she was born because they were

C h a p t e r 5 110
harvesting the beets also.
You feel some apprehension about labor, but I think
by the time youre pregnant for that nine months you
would almost go through anything so you could sleep
again and bend over again. Its always apprehensive, and
maybe not even as much for what youre going to go
through as for what kind of condition the baby is going to
come out in, if its going to be all right. I know my first
thought in every delivery was, has it got all of its fingers
and toes, is the baby okay? Pat

My emotions took me on many rides. I was either
very fussy or very sensitive and emotional.
During a two-week period I gained a whole eight
pounds. Unbelievable! The baby moved a lot when I was
hungry or tired. After eating a little piece of chocolate
cake, the baby started doing flips, and I couldnt get to
sleep.
I couldnt take off my shoes for a long period of time
because my feet wouldnt fit back in, no matter how hard I
tried! Dyanne

I think the father should be completely involved all the
way throughout the pregnancy. He should not just attend,
but really get into and pay attention to, the childbirth
classes. Some guys in our class were more concerned
about the outcome of the Bulls game than they were with
their wives and, out of 10 couples, only one other
husband besides mine ever asked any questions or
actually did the breathing exercises.
When I was about eight months pregnant, I was in
our office downstairs, and I tripped on this short little
stepladder, which was open on the floor. My husband
goes, Well, cant you see it there? I replied, As a matter
of fact, I cant. I cant see my feet at all. That was pretty
funny. Sandra

My first twin was always head down; the second one
was head down for about the first 61/2 months, and then
after that it switched. It did not turn until the night before I
went in to be started. I was laying in bed, and obviously I
wasnt getting much sleep because I knew I was going in
to be started in the morning. I was just laying there, and I
could feel it moving like crazy, like it was doing
somersaults the whole night.
At the hospital, they did an ultrasound; both twins
were head down. But once the first babys out, the second
one has all that room, and it can flip, turn, do whatever it
wants, and you just hope it stays head down. Jana

I think towards the end of all of them, I was just
anxious to end it and get them here. With my oldest, I
went six days past my due date, so I tried a few things
that people told me sometimes will get you started. A lot
of people had told me well, eat green apples, and I ate
green apples. And my husband took me out on some
rough roads in his truck, bouncing up and down. Gail

In my last three months, my cravings were really bad.
With my first one, I wanted apples, caramel apples
especially! My last six weeks, I had gestational diabetes.
The doctor put me on a diet, because they had to watch
my insulin. So I couldnt have sugar, and all I wanted was
a caramel apple because it was right around the fair and
Halloween. I cried one day. I just sat there bawling and
said, I have to have a caramel apple! And my husband
went to the state fair and got me a caramel apple.
Well, I cheated. I didnt eat much that night, and I just
had my caramel apple and it was okay. But it was so hard
because all I wanted was sweets and junk. Your last
months you dont have much room and you dont like to
eat much anyway sometimes and if you cant eat what
sounds good, what can you do?

C h a p t e r 5 112
It was weird. The things that I love, like Italian and
Mexican food, I cant eat a bite of when Im pregnant. It
just makes me ill. Spicy food gives me gas and heartburn
really bad. I had a horrible time with our daughter. I could
not take a swallow of orange juice without it just burning
my insides to pieces. It was terrible. I could not find a juice
I could drink with her because everything gave me
heartburn. I ate ice cream the whole time because it was
the only thing that would cool it down.
Our son kicked so hard all the time my last two
months that my ribs were bruised, and I couldnt touch
them. He would do total somersaults and turn all the way
around. He was just everywhere. Even after he dropped,
he was still up under my ribs. And then our daughter didnt
move very much at all. She would move, but she wouldnt
kick me hard. It worried me. I thought the baby wasnt
moving enough. My husband loves to feel the baby move.
He would be able to feel movements just by putting his
hand on it, but I couldnt. The last month, when youre
really tight, sometimes you dont feel things.
I always had to stretch with my feet flexed because if
I ever pointed my toe, Id get charley horses. Id wake up
going, Oh, oh, oh! My husband would know thats what it
was and ask, Which leg is it? And he would drop down
and rub my leg.
When I was pregnant with our son, he was really nice
and supportive, but he didnt really get involved until right
towards the end, when I started getting big. But with our
daughter, he was an angel. He just helped me so much
when he was home.
Our son was so big I couldnt sleep at all the last
month that I was pregnant with him. I would get hysterical
in the middle of the night because I was so tired and so
frustrated. I hadnt slept for more than two hours at a time
for the whole last month. I could only sleep on one side,
and my shoulder and my hip would hurt. It was awful. I
would rather go through labor and delivery twice than
another pregnancy like that the last month! Angela

Its kind of fun to watch the stomach grow. At first you
think, Do I look pregnant or not? You cant really tell. It
just seems to happen so gradually. And then its like, it
cant get any bigger, can it? It gets itchy. And of course,
stretch marks that never go away. But its weird, though,
because other parts of your body are also growing.
With all of my pregnancies I got so big so fast that
the doctors always wanted to check for twins. Id say,
How long am I going to be fat? Let me just be myself
again! You know the feeling. Youve had it and you want
to get it out.
With my second, I was due in a week, and the doctor
told me, Oh, youre ready, you can come anytime and it
would be okay. My husbands boss told me to eat green
apples, the sour ones, if I wanted to go into labor. And we
thought oh, yeah, right. But we thought wed try it anyway,
and we went to the store and got green apples and I ate
one or two. That night I went into labor. Deidre

The last month is so extremely uncomfortable that it
doesnt matter what medical student is there at delivery
time, you just want that baby out. About three weeks
before each of my children were born I had some really
strong contractions, not regular, but long enough and hard
enough to be significant. It was probably the baby
dropping, because there was no change in dilation or
thinning. Martha

The third trimester with our daughter I was worried
about not drinking enough milk, so I was drinking tons of
milk and eating ice cream and making sure I got my ten
servings of this and that a day like the book prescribed.
So I gained a lot of weight with her and it was very
uncomfortable at the end. I weighed more than my
husband!
I couldnt even walk the last few weeks, she was so

C h a p t e r 5 114
low and I was so big and heavy. I was uncomfortable and
I would have heartburn all the time. I had to roll over a
certain way to get out of bed. I couldnt sleep very well
when I was pregnant, so mine would keep me up at night
even before they were born! I just turn into an insomniac
the last two months of pregnancy.
I couldnt wait for this baby to come. I dont care how
much pain, I just want that baby out because Im so
uncomfortable. I wanted to have the baby at the end
because I hated being pregnant by that point, the bulk
and the inconvenience. But I also couldnt wait for this
baby to come out and see what it was like, especially with
the first one when I had no idea what it would be like to be
a mother. Just the anticipation and the suspense of
waiting to actually meet this person that I felt I already
knew was exciting, it was neat.
At the end when it was so hard to get around Id be
frustrated, and I used to lay down and just dream about
running and jumping and doing cartwheels and stupid
things like that, that I couldnt do anymore. When our
daughter was a couple of months old I went out and finally
did a cartwheel because I hadnt done one in so long.
That was hard for me to be that big and bulky because I
was used to having freedom with my body and I felt
restricted. For me, the worst thing was carrying the bulk
around.
When I was nine months pregnant with the first one,
a friends husband said, But its so much easier to carry a
baby when its in your tummy than after its born. And I
looked at him and I thought, Youre crazy! Youre a man,
how would you know what its like to carry one in your
stomach? That was his opinion that it would be easier to
carry him in your stomach than in your arms, but no, no, I
just couldnt wait to get all that extra weight off. Even if I
had to carry a baby and a diaper bag and everything that
comes with it, it was still easier than being nine months
pregnant! Sandi

I was bigger than a barrel. With our daughter, I was
huge. I probably weighed 40 pounds more than I did when
our first son was born, and it was all water. By about 8-1/2
months, the only reason that I ever really wanted to go
through the delivery was to get out of that situation. Just
to be in control of myself again. Youre so miserable. No
other way would you go through that kind of pain.
You forget a lot to an extent because you have
something to show for it. With my first one I didnt as easy.
The pain I forgot, but the experience itself was still pretty
vivid. June

When youve reached the end of your pregnancy, it
feels like its ready to fall out. I used to wear a girdle all
the time to add extra support to hold it up.
But after the first one, you knew what was going to
happen and you reach that ultimate point, do you want to
have your baby or not?Because you know what youre
going to go through.
I was 39 when I had my last baby. That was tough.
My grandmother was 48 when she had her last child. I
dont know how she did it. That one was a tough
pregnancy. Not backaches or morning sickness, it was
just hard to carry and I was exhausted all the time.
As I had more kids I realized there were so many
things that could go wrong. It used to really frighten me
that right after theyd be born, they would die. You think
about all the things that could go wrong, and it makes you
so thankful that they can be whole, that their ten little
fingers and their ten little toes are there. You start thinking
about the miracle of life. And it is.
Cheryl

I had a terrible case of water retention. One week I
went up ten pounds, and it was all water. At the time I
went into labor I had gained 60 pounds. Marcia

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Im really missing sushi! Driving is becoming
uncomfortable. Working is becoming more and more
difficult. Im back to being tired all the time. Its
summertime, and Im starting to swell up! Ive been
attending childbirth education classes. Im terrified of labor
and delivery. Helena

Id have to plan on three to four weeks more,
overdue. Its not fun. I went overtime and was pregnant
long enough that I could have had another baby!
You know youre pretty big when you cant get behind
the steering wheel. In fact, I didnt even try to, even
though it would be better because it hurts to walk. But
rather than get behind the steering wheel, Id just walk no
matter what! Cleo

Every one was different. My first one was due in
January, and I wanted watermelon the last three months
solid. Oh, I wanted watermelon so bad! And you could not
find watermelon in the winter. The second one I wanted
meat and potatoes and gravy all the time. They were all
different.
With my oldest boy, I was sitting in church just a
week or two before he was born and the girl in front of me
turned around to look for something and my stomach
started to jump; she looked back two or three times. That
was embarrassing. What do you do, your stomachs
jumping!
My first three kids were quite close together so I felt
like I had been pregnant for years. I was just so sick of
being pregnant. I could not take anymore. So I was trying
every old wives tale Id ever heard. I tried everything. I
went skiing. I drank castor oil, and that only made me sick.
Nothing worked. She was exactly on her day. The only
one that was. She was right on her day. Id rather be done
and have the little baby than be fat and miserable. Emily

We had an ultrasound during the last trimester. We
really didnt want to know if it was a boy or a girl, but
things were very clear and we knew it was a boy! I was
spending a lot of time shopping for baby furniture and
getting the nursery ready. That was fun.
I remember feeling really tired after work. I would go
to bed at night at 9:00 p.m. regularly. My husband would
have to buckle my sandals for me and tie my shoes. It
was also nice if he would take them off for me. I tried to
wear as little clothes as possibleshorts, t-shirt and
sandals. It was 98 degrees in Houston during June and
July. I remember moving really slowly during those last
few months.
All of my doctor appointments were greata quick
listen to the heartbeat and a measurement and I was out.
I would always forget to bring my urine sample from home
(that was a pain).
My due date was August 2nd and I had a friend that
was due on July 12th. When she called on July 6th to tell
us shed had a beautiful baby boy, not only was I thrilled
for her, but I was shocked into the reality that our baby
would be born soon too. Until then I was trying not to think
about the impending labor and delivery.
During those last few months, everyone asked if I just
couldnt wait to see and hold my baby. But, honestly, I
hadnt even thought about that. That made me wonder
what kind of mother I was going to make. Some people
are just dying to see their babies, but not me. Looking
back now, I guess I was just enjoying the anticipation and
I really had no idea how wonderful motherhood would be.
During the last trimester I was also having to make a
decision about whether I would return to work or not. I was
pretty sure that I would stay at home, but it was hard to
think about giving up my career (at least for awhile). Now,
I know I made the right decision, and quite honestly,
staying at home and being a mom is harder than the job I
had at the hospital. Marie

C h a p t e r 5 118
A lot of people say I cant wait to get this over with,
but I just like the feeling of having someone in me. Its just
a comfortable feeling to have someone else in there with
you. Im more nervous, if anything towards the end; I dont
wish I could hurry up and get it over with. I think youre
focused on the baby and making sure everythings okay.
Its more of just a fear of the unknown. Even though
you go through it over and over again, its just always
different with each child. You dont know what its going to
bring. I mean, you hear all these horror stories. What if
theres complications with the baby? I worry about that. I
know that when its in me, its safe and I can pretty much
control what goes on as long as I eat well and do what Im
supposed to be doing. But once the babys out, its
basically on its own..
The heartburn gets really bad. It increases when you
eat certain foods, probably any kind of gaseous food.
Only at night. Thats the only time it would bother me is
when I was able to just lie down and relax, and then all of
a sudden it would come.
I had the worst heartburn. I just felt like it was going
to choke me to death. It started in the chest and then it
was climbing up my throat, that burning sensation. One of
the midwives suggested I take some spearmint or
peppermint tea, that it was kind of calming. And that
helped a lot. It caused me to burp a lot, to release some
gas. And then I would sleep a little more comfortably.
But after awhile it gets hard to find a comfortable
position because Im a belly sleeper, and I cant sleep on
my belly anymore. I have to sleep with a pillow between
my legs.
Karen S.

I did attend Lamaze classes. I really enjoyed them
and learned a few things. My husband really benefited
from the classes. He has been wonderful. He encourages
me to eat all of the time when Im pregnant. He gets very

excited and into feeling the baby move and really
everything about pregnancy. My husband tries to attend
all of my doctor appointments. Lauri

By the time I reach my eighth month, Im ready for a
change. I start pre-paring for the baby to come. I really go
through the nesting phase. This is a fun time. I get my
baby clothes out and decide what I want to put on the
baby after its born, and we get serious about picking a
name.
I have to have everything spotless. I clean, clean,
and clean some more. I have so much energy during this
stage of my pregnancy. I stay up late just making sure
everything is clean so I can have the baby in a nice
sanitary atmosphere. I always wish that I could have the
same energy again after I have the baby, but I dont ever
get it back! Stepheni

As the baby grows I love feeling it move and trying to
imagine what part of it I might be feeling. Some of the time
I felt great and loaded with energy, and then there were
times I had backaches and sore legs and difficulty getting
comfortable. But even through the discomforts and the
pains you still have that excitement and can feel the
closeness to the baby inside of you. Its hard to be able to
put in words, but it is just such a wonderful feeling.
As the time got closer, I seemed to always find myself
quite concerned about the birth. I was worried about the
baby getting into the right position and what would
happen if I couldnt get to the hospital in time. Lori
{Authors Note: See Ch. 6 for Loris story about what
happened when she didnt get to the hospital in time!}

C h a p t e r 6 120
c h a p t e r
6
S p e c i a l D e l i v e r y

With your first pregnancy you just have no idea what to
expect from labor; so once youve experienced it and lived
through it you have a great sense of accomplishment, of
pride, of amazement...the miracle of it all. Marie

The doctor had to sew me up. He said that he gave me
some kind of local, but it hurt as much as having that
baby, probably worse. He was right down there sewing,
and I had to really bite down to keep myself from kicking
him in the head. I felt the needle, and I just wanted him to
stop. Sandi

We can tell terrible horror stories about everything, but...
As soon as your delivery is over, you know its all worth it.
When you see that little baby for the first time, you
actually feel a real part of the creation and know that you
participated in this with Heavenly Father. You feel part of
the whole picture. Pat

This is it...Believe it or not, the big moment has finally
arrived. Feelings of excitement, anticipation, and yes,
apprehension are stronger than ever now. Its almost time
to usher your precious baby into the world and begin a
new phase of life.

Gadgets and Gizmos

First of all, you should be at least vaguely familiar

S p e c i a l D e l i v e r y 121
with some of the medical instruments and procedures you
might encounter during your labor and delivery.
Fetal monitors do just what their name says: they
keep tabs on whats going on with the baby. A monitor
can be either external, with an ultrasound device strapped
across the abdomen, or internal, with a small electrode
placed on the babys head in the womb. The babys
heartbeat and the mothers contractions can then be
tracked on a screen or on a computer printout.
In many cases, monitoring can detect fetal distress
while there is still time to prevent disability or loss of life. It
is recommended primarily for high risk pregnancies
because fetal monitoring can be potentially misleading
and trigger false alarms. For this reason, indiscriminate
use of EFM has been roundly criticized.
The devices themselves can be unreliable and the
readings can be misinterpreted, resulting in a possibility of
incorrect diagnoses which in turn can lead to unnecessary
cesareans. A doctor well-versed in the workings and
limitations of this particular gizmo will be less likely to be
taken in by a false alarm and instead take appropriate
measures to confirm the original diagnosis and correct the
problem before operating.
Additional tests such as fetal-blood sampling
17
and
fetal stimu-lation techniques can be conducted to verify
fetal distress. A decelerating heart rate may respond to
oxygen treatment, intravenous fluids, or to a change in the
mothers position. Turning the mother to her left side will
relieve possible pressure of the uterus on the vena cava.
18

These steps can effectively reduce the risk of
unnecessary invasive procedures or cesarean deliveries

17

A few drops of blood are taken from the babys scalp to test
for presence of oxygen in adequate levels.
18
The main vein returning blood to the heart from the lower
body. If this vein is constricted, the maternal blood pressure will
drop and the availability of blood and oxygen to the baby will
decrease accordingly.

C h a p t e r 6 122
among monitored patients.
Routine, indiscriminate use of electronic fetal
monitoring has demonstrated an increased incidence of
operative delivery. Appropriate use of electronic fetal
monitoring includes: oxytocin induction or augmentation of
labor; hypertension or preeclampsia; meconium staining;
breech presentation; twin gestation; and prematurity.
Despite its limitations, electronic fetal monitoring
continues to be implemented (and very often successfully)
in many deliveries. Doctors like it because monitoring can
improve delivery outcomes and it affords them some
degree of protection from malpractice liability. Mothers like
it because monitoring provides them reassurance as well.
Another delivery room staple is the dreaded forceps.
This device resembles an oversized set of padded salad
tongs which go around the babys head and assist it down
the birth canal when necessary. The chances of injury to
the baby tend to increase proportionately with the degree
of difficulty of the delivery. Accompanying risks may
include bruising, skull fracture, eye injury, facial paralysis,
and brain damage. A cesarean may be preferable to a
difficult forceps delivery.
A vacuum extractor is a surgical instrument that
serves the same purpose as the forceps. A vacuum pump
attached to a soft suction cup placed on the babys head
helps gently guide it out. The chances of injury to mother
and child are lower with the vacuum extractor than with
the forceps.
Scissors and scalpels represent other gadgets
famous for being brandished in the delivery room.
Cesarean sections will be discussed later, and
episiotomies will be spotlighted here.
An episiotomy is a surgical incision in the pelvic floor
usually made when the baby is crowning and repaired
after the birth. It is meant to prevent traumatic tearing and
aid in delivery by widening the passage, especially when
accomodating a large baby, breech birth, or forceps.
There are two types of episiotomies.

With a mediolateral episiotomy, the perineum
19
is cut
diagonally to one side. This prevents a tear from
spreading to the rectum and provides more room to
maneuver, but it also increases the difficulty of repair and
lengthens the healing process. Mediolateral episiotomies
are mostly used in cases such as breech or forceps
delivery, when the doctor needs the extra maneuverability.
A median or midline episiotomy is most commonly
used and is less painful, simpler to repair, and easier to
recover from. The incision is made straight down from the
middle of the perineum toward the rectum.
Episiotomies are a rather hot topic these days, with
new research becoming available which negates the
theories originally put forth supporting their regular use.
The medical community has long held that a straight,
clean incision prevents tearing and is easier to heal from
than a jagged tear. But modern research says otherwise.
The irony is that this procedure ostensibly performed in
order to reduce tearing and improve healing can actually
do exactly the opposite!
Recent studies indicate that episiotomies dont
necessarily prevent severe tears, and in fact may make
the perineum and rectum more susceptible to serious
lacerations. In other words, indiscriminate use of
episiotomies can significantly increase the risk of severe
tearing.
Women in study groups actually experienced less
pain and fewer complications from minor tears than from
routine episiotomies. Analysis found that deliveries with
episiotomies were more than twice as likely to result in
serious lacerations through extension of the incisionthe
cut itself often facilitates tearing! According to a study
released in 1992 by the American Association for the
Advancement of Science, routine episiotomies on first-
time mothers led to a much higher likelihood of severe
tearing than those who were not put under the knife.

19
The pelvic region just below the vagina.

C h a p t e r 6 124
Hence, research confirms that limiting the use of the
scissors and scalpel results in more women with intact
perineums after delivery.
When you think about it, all of this only makes sense.
Logically, pressure on an incision will make it split further.
Consider a piece of fabric, for example, and how much
more easily it can be ripped if a small cut is first made.
Without that initial cut, its very difficult to tear.
The common assertions that liberal use of
episiotomy reduces severe lacerations, prevents pelvic
floor relaxation, circumvents urinary incontinence, and
enhances sexual functioning after birth have sustained a
severe blow with the release of such results as these,
which blatantly defy conventional wisdom and clearly
suggest that the use of episiotomies should be a selective
rather than a routine procedure, restricted to valid use
only. Newly emerging data simply does not support the
alleged benefits of random and indiscriminate use of
episiotomy to facilitate delivery.
But successfully avoiding an episiotomy and
preventing tearing is easier said than done. It requires
training, skill, patience, effort, and time on the part of the
care provider, not to mention restraint. The practice of
making the cut regardless of need may be so deeply
ingrained in some physicians that they are unable or
unwilling to restrict its use.
When trying to prevent tearing, the baby shouldnt be
pushed out too fast. Its certainly a lot quicker and simpler
to just whip out the trusty old scalpel and be done with it.
A physician must be personally committed to limiting the
use of this procedure in order to make it happen. Refer
back to Chapter 2 for further discussion on this issue.
Obviously, all of this presents something of a
quandary to the practicing physician, who must determine
which situations justify the use of episiotomy and which
dont. True, overuse can carry a substantial risk of
extension, but underuse can lead to severe lacerations as
well. Although strong opinions color this topic, ultimately

the final judgment call must rest with the attending
physician in each individual delivery.
There is an abundance of new information and
research on this subject, all of which cannot possibly be
included in this text. The reader is encouraged to
supplement this condensed information by seeking out
and studying other sources and discussing individual
concerns, preferences, and circumstances with her care
provider.

Cesarean Sections

A cesarean section or C-section is a surgical
procedure in which the baby is delivered through an
incision in the mothers abdomen and the uterine wall. The
most commonly used method of anesthesia for cesareans
is a regional injected into the spinal fluid. Epidural or
general anesthesia are used less often. An incision
(usually a bikini cut) is made in the lower abdomen and
then another across the uterus. The baby and placenta
are carefully lifted out, and the incisions are repaired. The
mother is encouraged to start walking around 8-24 hours
after surgery in order to help the bowels and circulation
get going to prevent constipation or blood clots.
Many factors may influence a physicians decision to
take a baby by cesarean, but of primary concern is the
safety of mother and child. Legitimate reasons for surgical
birth include: fetal distress; dystocia or failure to progress
in active labor; uterine abnormalities; eclampsia; failure of
baby to descend into the birth canal; baby too large for
the birth canal; baby in transverse lie position; and breech
or footling presentation in combination with a small pelvis
or a large baby. Increased risks associated with cesarean
delivery include: blood loss, blood clots, trauma, infection,
and maternal death.
Studies suggest that women under the primary care
of a midwife are less likely to have a cesarean. This

C h a p t e r 6 126
finding is largely attributed to the human component
midwives provide in maternal care. Laboring women who
receive emotional support seem to fare better overall and
require fewer surgical interventions in delivery.
The cesarean rate has escalated from about 5% of
all deliveries in 1965 to roughly 25% today. It has the
dubious distinction of being the medical procedure most
overused and most likely to be performed unnecessarily in
the United States. It is the most common major surgery in
the country. As many as 50% are not medically
necessary. Why? Factors such as elective surgery in
repeat cesareans, misdiagnosis, and increased revenues
help account for the high figures, but the most glaring
reason is of course, the malpractice crisis our country is
experiencing.
The majority of lawsuits seek to hold physicians
accountable for any birth defects or problems whatsoever,
whether related to the delivery or not. Naturally, doctors
will be inclined to take measures they deem appropriate to
protect themselves from being sued. In many cases, the
safest route is to perform a cesarean at the slightest sign
of trouble. Can we really blame them for not wanting to
take any chances?
No. But we dont much care for the idea of major
surgery being performed without medical justification,
either. What it ultimately boils down to, as always, is trust
in the doctor-patient relationship. Trust in his or her ability
and motivation is of primary importance. Refer to Chapter
2 for previous discussion of this topic.
Certainly no one wants to second-guess a physicians
decisions themselves, but it is completely appropriate and
even recommended by the American College of
Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG) that a second
opinion be sought from another doctor in cases where the
cesarean is not to be performed on an emergency basis.
A woman who has previously delivered by cesarean
does have a good chance of being able to deliver
vaginally in future pregnancies. Vaginal birth after

cesarean is commonly referred to as v-bac. In the past,
this was not possible because of fear that the uterus
would rupture. But the new horizontal bikini cut incisions
used today make that highly unlikely. So the rule, Once a
cesarean, always a cesarean, has become obsolete. If
circumstances permit, women are encouraged to v-bac,
and many do it successfully.
However, given a choice, many women dont want to
attempt to v-bac. These women choose to deliver by
elective cesarean for a variety of reasons. They may
prefer not to go through labor, particularly if theres a
strong possibility they would end up with a C-section
anyway. Or, they may simply find a scheduled delivery
preferable for personal reasons. Whatever the motivation,
these planned surgical deliveries certainly contritibute to
the high national average, considering that they amount to
about half of those with previous cesareans.
You can request a free patient-education pamphlet
on cesareans from the ACOG by sending a SASE to:
ACOG Resource Center; 409 12th St., SW; Washington,
D.C. 20024.

Being Prepped for the Hospital

Not so long ago, women were subjected to certain
mandatory hospital preparations, deemed necessary for
one reason or another. For-tunately, gone are the days of
such required protocol as the enema, the shave, and the
straps and stirrups. We are in the age of a kinder, gentler
birthing experience. Modern research has proven such
objectionable procedures unnecessary and ineffective, if
not downright harmful (competition from midwives and
complaints from patients helped, too). Labor and delivery
are best approached with flexibility and a will-ingness to
meet individual needs, not with rigidity and a
predetermined routine which holds no known benefit for
either mother or child.

C h a p t e r 6 128
With regard to the enema dilemma, do your
homework so that you have an answer ready should you
be asked if youd like one. There is virtually no supporting
evidence justifying the routine use of enemas in the
management of labor. However, some women opt to have
one out of fear of losing control of their bowels while
pushing during delivery. Some doctors and nurses may
want their patients to have one for the same reason. This
is precisely why enemas were routinely given in the past.
However, there are other considerations to be taken into
account. Enemas can increase the intensity of
contractions, and in fact, they were used to induce labor
before Pitocin came along. Enemas should be used
sparingly and when circumstances warrant, such as for
women experiencing painful constipation and/or
hemorrhoids.
Synthetic hormones such as oxytocin may be
administered intravenously to initiate labor or to help it
along. Amniotomy, more commonly known as breaking
the bag of waters or rupturing the fetal membranes, is
also used to induce or speed up labor as well as to
evaluate the amniotic fluid and determine fetal status.
Induction is used in a variety of medical circumstances,
including post term pregnancy, blood incompatibility, and
slow labor.
There is a trend toward 24-hour hospital stays for
uncomplicated births. Length of stay has been dropping
steadily over the years, and shorter maternity stays are
the wave of the future.

Labor and Delivery

At 36 weeks gestation, the cervix or neck of the
uterus begins to soften and then open. Up to several days
before labor begins, the mucus plug is passed from the
dilating cervix. This appears as a red-tinged watery blob
and is commonly referred to as the bloody show.

The rupture of the amniotic sac or breaking of the
bag of waters is a sure sign of the onset of labor. When
the water breaks, it can be anything from a slight trickle to
a mighty gush of colorless and odor-less fluid. Risk of
infection increases with the passage of time after the
water breaks because the fetus is no longer protected in a
sterile bag of water. So, ideally delivery should be
effected within 24 hours. Antibiotics may be administered
if infection is suspected.
If the fluid appears greenish-brown, contact your
doctor immediately, as this is an indication of meconium
staining. The presence of meconium in the amniotic fluid
signifies a fetal bowel movement in the uterus, which can
lead to fetal distress and other serious complications.
There are three stages of labor, broken up as follows:
The first stage consists of three phases and
averages 12-14 hours in duration for a first delivery and 8-
10 hours for subsequent ones. However, it can be
relatively short or inordinately long, depending on
individual circumstances.
First, the latent phase. Uterine contractions begin
and are mild in intensity and brief in duration, lasting 10-
20 seconds at 20-30 minute intervals. False labor or
Braxton-Hicks contractions will remain mild and irregular,
distinguished from the real thing by their lack of
progression. A woman should inform her care provider at
the onset of labor and plan on heading for the hospital
when regular contractions are about five minutes apart.
Second, the active phase. As labor progresses, the
contractions gradually increase in regularity, frequency,
continuity, intensity, and proximity. They feel similar to
very strong menstrual cramps. The cervix is dilated to 5-7
cm. As stated in the preceding chapter, anxiety and fear
can slow labor down. Dystocia, or failure of labor to
progress may require some form of intervention. The
mother is examined internally from time to time to monitor
dilation of the cervix and progression of labor.

C h a p t e r 6 130
Third, the transition phase. The contractions peak in
intensity until the cervix is completely dilated to 10
centimeterswide enough for the babys head to pass
through. This phase can take minutes or hours, usually
determined by how fast the labor is progressing.
The second stage begins when the cervix is fully
effaced and dilated and the pressure of the babys head
on the pelvis creates an irresistible urge to push. A strong
bearing down sensation on the rectum means the baby is
coming. Pushing combined and synchronized with the
natural expulsion forces of the contractions brings the
baby down the birth canal and out into the world. This
process can last anywhere from minutes to hours.
Delivery is imminent when the baby is crowningits
head is visible during and after a contraction. Almost
immediately thereafter, the head is delivered, closely
followed by the shoulders and body. After the head is
delivered, the physician will quickly check the cord and
clean the babys nose and mouth.
The baby is usually born facing downward and then
spon-taneously turns sideways (external rotation) to
accommodate the shoulders, one at a time. If the baby
doesnt cry or breathe right away, the attendant may
lightly tap the buttocks or soles of the feet to initiate
breathing. He or she is not held upside down by the heels
and slapped on the backside! The baby is usually given to
the mother and allowed to nurse immediately after birth.
The third stage follows the birth of the baby and
consists mainly of expulsion of the placenta or afterbirth.
The uterus will bleed for some time after delivery of the
placenta. If an episiotomy was required, it is repaired after
the third stage of labor is completed.
Whether it was a vaginal delivery or a cesarean
delivery, the umbilical cord is clamped and cut and the
babys eyes are treated to prevent infection. Barring
complications or extenuating circumstances, the baby is
immediately given to the mother.

This is the glorious moment you have waited months
for! Cherish it as you hold that precious baby in your arms
for the first time.
Congratulations! Your journey to motherhood is now
complete, and the joys of being a mother await you.


With my first child, I was admitted to the hospital by
10:00, had the Pitocin drip going by 11:00, my water
broken by 1:00, and the baby born at 8:30 that night. My
second child followed a similar pattern, but she was born
at 4:30.
I did have some negative experiences at the hospital
with the first one. For some reason, the nurses assigned
to me were mediocre at best, with the exception of the
first, who was truly caring and sensational, but off duty
half an hour after I arrived.
I had two nurses attending me during labor and
delivery. They were not sympathetic or considerate. After I
got the epidural, which worked beautifully, they had to turn
me from one side to the other every fifteen minutes or so,
either to distribute the medication evenly or to jiggle the
baby a little, or both. I couldnt roll over on my own
because I was too numb (I had no feeling from the waist
down; my legs were like dead weights).
Well, the nurse would literally go into an attack mode
and ram her arms under my back full force to accomplish
this mighty task of rolling a 130-pound woman over in
bed. Although I couldnt feel any pain from the actual
turning process, it was only a matter of time before I did
begin to feel pain on the right side of my stomach; they
had knocked the epidural catheter out of whack.
The anesthesiologist was called in and the amount of
anesthetic increased. It didnt help and gradually I began
to feel the contractions on the left side of my stomach as
well. I was offered a second epidural, but kept hoping that

C h a p t e r 6 132
the first one would somehow kick in again. The thought of
having that big needle stuck in my back a second time
was not appealing. Once should have been enough.
After two hours of increasing misery, I finally caved in
and asked for another epidural. But the original
anesthesiologist had gone home and a different doctor
administered the second one. Either he wasnt as skilled
as the first doctor or my back wasnt as receptive, but
whatever the reason, the right side of my stomach was
not numbed. That was bearable though, compared to the
pain I had been feeling up until then. It was early evening
by this time and I was anxious to have the baby. I was
hungry and thirsty since I hadnt ingested anything but ice
chips since early that morning. The episode with the
epidurals had left me tired and frustrated.
Within a couple of hours, the contractions I was
feeling on my right side became more and more intense.
As the nurse did a routine check, her eyes flew open wide
in surprise and she exclaimed, Youre complete! I was
thrilled for a brief moment, thinking the end was finally in
sight. Then she told me to rest for an hour. Rest?! I had
been resting all day, and the only thing I was interested
in was speeding the whole process up, not delaying it
further.
But being new to the childbirth experience, I meekly
(although grudgingly) complied. Finally the nurses came
back in and announced that I could start pushing. Have
you called my doctor? I asked anxiously. I knew that she
was to be called toward the last hour. Oh, youve got at
least two hours of pushing ahead of you, they said
condescendingly.
Those young nurses were steeped in book
knowledge but lacking in basic common sense and good
judgment. I had already dilated far quicker than they had
expected, so why should they suppose that I wouldnt
deliver quicker, too?
I think you should call my doctor. I insisted. We
have. Shes on her way. The nurses lied. I watched the

clock, knowing that it would only take a few minutes for
her to get to the hospital and tried to stall pushing until
then. I kept asking where my doctor was and they kept
saying she was on her way when in fact no phone call had
been made.
They watched the monitor and told me when to push,
and after only one or two pushes they were shrilling that
the baby was crowning. I was frantic not only because I
wanted my doctor (I didnt want those two know-it-alls
delivering my baby) but because the epidural medication
seemed to be getting awfully low. Somehow their
assurances that there was plenty left didnt register much
relief in my mind. My eyes had been desperately going
from the epidural pouch to the clock and back again for at
least an hour.
I stopped pushing and again asked for my doctor.
Both nurses said theyd be right back and left the room.
Remember, the baby was crowning, and they chose that
precise moment to both leavewith the ridiculous
instruction that I should continue pushing in their absence!
As soon as the door shut behind them, my husband
and I huddled and conferred. We were in agreement that
the last thing I should do was keep pushing. Neither of us
wanted him to end up delivering that baby.
So he stuck his head out into the hall to see if he
could determine what was going on. He didnt tell me until
later, but at that time he saw and heard one of the nurses
apparently talking on the phone for the first time with my
doctor, urgently telling her the baby was crowning.
When the nurse reentered the delivery room, we
informed her that I had not pushed since she left and that
we would prefer to wait until my doctors arrival to do so.
Surprisingly, she didnt argue. The doctor ran in a few
minutes later and barely had time to throw on her rain suit
before the baby was born.
He was immediately whisked away by the waiting
pediatric medical personnel who had been alerted when
my doctor noticed meconium staining on our sons head.

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He had to have his lungs suctioned right away since hed
had a bowel movement inside the womb. My husband
followed them, and shortly he returned with our son,
snugly wrapped in a white blanket that matched his pale
little face. I couldnt believe it. This was my child. I kept
looking at him, trying to make it sink in that I was a
mother. They asked if I wanted water, pop, or juice to
drink, and I said yes, Id like one of each! I was so thirsty!
In the middle of the night, a nurse brought me my
baby so I could feed him. I still couldnt believe it. I lay
there for a long time watching him sleep in my bed and
studying his miniature features. He was really mine. I
stared at him like that for weeks after he was born,
cherishing him and getting to know him.
Afterwards, the more I thought about my delivery
experience, the angrier I got. I wished I had been better
informed and handled things differently. Being my first
pregnancy, I had no idea what to expect. And I certainly
wasnt prepared for those nurses! I strongly feel that the
qualifications medical care providers have as human
beings are just as important as their professional
qualifications. They should be caring individuals interested
in helping others and capable of feeling empathy for
human suffering. And especially when were paying
thousands of dollars for hospital care, we have the right
to expect that from them.
During my second pregnancy, I was very worried that
I would encounter a similar situation again. I prepared
myself for the worst. At practically every checkup during
the last month, I reminded my doctor to please tell the
nurses to call her as soon as I was almost complete.
When I entered the hospital, I was ready to do battle.
If there was a phone by my bed, I was going to call the
doctor myself if I had to. But I didnt. The hospital must
have gotten more complaints than just mine, because
they cleaned up their act. The nurses 2-1/2 years later
were very professional and courteous. The difference was
like night and day. Lana

With my oldest, I woke up with pains at five in the
morning, and I was happy because I was overdue and I
was ready. I was in labor for thirteen hours before the
doctors decided that I cant deliver normally because my
birth canal is too small. So I went through labor and went
through a C-section with him.
When he was born, his head was in a cone shape,
the shape of the canal. You could just tell that he was
stuck. When they finally opened me up and pulled him
out, I could hear it, like a suction. It was almost like a pop
when his head got pulled back out of the canal; they had
to pull him out to deliver him. I couldnt of course feel any
pain, but I could feel the pressure.
I have had all of themC-section. I was given a choice
with my third one, if I wanted to try to v-bac. But I didnt
want to have to go through both labor and the C-section
again. So I just chose the C-section. I recovered quite
quickly.
Ive had epidurals on all of them. It only took on half
of me with my first one. I could still feel my labor pains on
my left side. So they tried giving me a little bit more. I
could still feel it all the way until they got me ready for
surgery, so I had some different kind of anesthesia given
to me so I couldnt feel anything.
My doctor with the first one said, Youre lucky that
you live now, because if you had lived when they couldnt
do things like this, you might have died during your first
labor. I wonder what its like to have it be delivered
normally, but its not a problem. Im just happy that I can
have children. Gail

With all of my babies, as soon as the water broke,
the baby came right away after. I was always so grateful
to have my husband with me, especially with our youngest
daughter. She was born right here at home on our bed.
I had been waking up at night with very strong
contractions and thinking that it was time. But by morning

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it would kind of die down to not much of anything. It
happened again, but the pains kept on coming through
the next day. By lunch time we decided to go to the
hospital. The doctor checked me and told me it was false
labor. I felt so bad! He told me it was okay, but I didnt like
having so much pain and nothing happening.
I dont know when the false pains turned into real
ones, but by the time I went to bed that night I felt tears
come to my eyes with each pain and I was just totally tired
out and shaking cold. I went to sleep for about two hours
and then woke up knowing I was in serious labor.
I was not able to get out of bed. My husband had
wanted to go outside to start the van, but I wouldnt let him
leave me. I knew that the baby was coming very soon. He
called 911 and told them what was happening. At that
time, my water broke and I was ready to start pushing.
I remember feeling so scared for the baby. If
something went wrong there was no doctor or hospital
equipment to help. I knew what was happening with my
body, though, and the baby was born right away. My
husband delivered our baby!
We were very concerned about keeping the baby
warm, and we covered it up so quickly that we didnt even
know it was a girl until we uncovered it and looked again! I
felt so good and happy to finally have her here! The baby
let out a tiny little cry and then was just laying there so
peaceful and wide awake, looking all around.
The ambulance arrived and the paramedics checked
me and the baby and then had my husband cut the cord.
We then were taken to the hospital. Even though it was
scary at the time, once it had all happened, it wasnt really
bad at all. Everything went how it was supposed tono
problems at all; just a beautiful baby girl! I look forward to
telling her some day when shes older, her special story of
being born at home!
Lori

With our first son, I had intended all the time to have
a natural delivery, and I had taken the Lamaze classes.
They induced me with the Pit drip, and the nurses had just
been turning that drip up and down all day long. So it
would start me in labor, then they would turn it down and it
would stop me; start me, stop me, until my doctor came in
about 5:30. When he saw it, he was really upset and he
said I should be ready to deliver. But I wasnt, so they
turned the drip up heavy then.
Towards the last minute, I just dilated so fast that
they didnt expect it. They went yelling for him, and of
course he wasnt there. So they gave me gas of some sort
just over my nose without even asking me, to stop me
from pushing until he got there. It was like looking at one
of those yellow and black little things that are circular that
go around like a kaleidoscope only not quite. But I could
hear everything they were saying. So I wasnt completely
out of it.
After he was born, I was crying and I remember
saying, Oh, Ill bet my mascaras running! The nurse said
Honey, youre not going to a beauty contest tonight, dont
worry about it.
I can remember not just with him, but with some of
the others, thinking it was so hard to be in the hospital.
But then when the doctor came in and said I could go
home, Id go in the bathroom and cry because I knew I
was going home to the responsibility of it, whereas in the
hospital they would take care of everything.
Then with our second son, I didnt have any
anesthetic because they broke my water and I just started
in hard labor immediately. It didnt last long enough...I was
only in real hard labor for about two hours before he was
born. But it was two hours of misery, real misery. And
because it was so traumatic and he came so fast, they
had to put him in an isolette for 24 hours because it was a
hard birth on him, too. It pushed him out so fast.
Then with our first daughter, that was the first time
the paracervical block was coming into use. And they

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gave me one with her just before I went into delivery. It
numbed the front, and I could still feel it through my back,
but it cut quite a bit of the pain at the last minute. Theres
a certain point where the baby passes through part of the
birth canal that literally makes you feel sick to your
stomach and you go into a cold sweat. I remember having
that sick feeling with her even more than with the others.
Our third son was the hardest one I had. It was
because he had such a big head, and he was lodged
crisscross. My water broke at home, and our first daughter
followed me into the bathroom. She was just 2-1/2 years
old and when she saw that my pants were all wet, she
said Mommy, dont you ever do that again! Dont wet your
pants!
Our insurance wasnt supposed to kick in until
December 1 and this was November 30. I was being so
careful not to do anything that day, because we didnt
want me to start into labor. We were afraid the insurance
wouldnt pay for it. When my water broke about 10:30 in
the morning, my husband said Oh, dont move, dont
move, just stay there, it cant be born today! We called
the doctor, of course, and he said to call when the
contractions were closer together.
I went to the hospital about 6:00 when they were
starting to get uncomfortable. The doctor turned him
around 9:30, and he just flipped right back the opposite
way as soon as he let go. So we waited awhile then. I was
in such hard labor, and the nurse came in and said a
doctor had said he would give me a paracervical block if I
wanted. I was just really miserable, so he tried to give me
one, but it didnt work, it didnt take.
It was about 10:30 when my doctor came in again.
He said, Well, I can try to turn the baby again, or we can
wait. Im going to be here all night, I can tell by this other
delivery, so its up to you. And my husband said, Honey,
dont you think you can take it just a little bit longer and
get past midnight? I said, No! I dont care what it costs.
Whatever they can do to get this baby born, thats what I

want to have done. You reach that point where you just
dont even care if you died. If that was the only way to get
out of that pain, you would go ahead and do that. Thats
how hard that one got. So the doctor went in and turned it
again and as soon as he did, boom! He was ready to be
born and they took me right in to the delivery room. He
was born at about 10:40.
The doctor had another gal in there and she was
having a tough time. She was cussing her husband and
calling him every name in the book, just screaming her
lungs out. I never scream when Im in labor. I grunt and
bite my lip.
And then with our second daughter, I didnt have any
anesthesia because they waited too long. I was bearing
down, and the nurse kept telling me I needed to go to the
bathroom. She actually had my husband get on one side
and her on the other and sat me up and said, You just
need to go to the bathroom. I said, I dont need to go to
the bathroom, the babys coming! I could feel the baby
pushing against the cervix, hard. And she was quite
perturbed. She said, Oh, just lay down a minute and let
me check again. I just checked you and you werent
ready. Well, she didnt have to do an exam or anything,
she took one look and ran down the hall; my doctor was
down there taking a nap.
They wheeled me quick into the delivery room. He
didnt have time to wash his hands or anything. They just
slipped some gloves on him and he delivered the baby.
He did an episiotomy, but he didnt deaden it. Actually,
just having the pressure of the baby on there deadens it
quite a bit. And all through that delivery, the nurse was
saying, Oh, Im so sorry, Im so sorry! But I thought that
with the fifth baby, she shouldve known I ought to know
what it feels like when its ready to come out.
When I was going to have our fourth daughter, my
husband couldnt take me to the hospital. I drove myself
up to the hospital, and he never made it up there until
after she was born and I was in the recovery room. That

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was the easiest delivery I ever had, there by myself. And I
just kind of had little private conversations with her, telling
her we were going to get through this easy.
Anyway, there is one point during the last part just
before delivery when you think, I will never go through this
again! And theres almost always a point during the worst
ones where you feel like, I could easily die to get out of
this. No matter whats going to get me out of this labor,
just let it happen. Then you stop and think when youve
been really sick...Ive had times when I have had pain as
intense almost as labor without the pregnancy. Im sure
theres other kinds of pain that people go through,
although its generally not as long as labor.
But as soon as the baby is born, I wont say just that
moment, but even the very next day I know I myself
thought, Gosh, I wonder what itll be like next time? You
dont forget that you had the pain, but you forget the
intensity of it. Pat

With our daughter, when my water broke it went all
over the bed and all over the floor. I swear I had 40
gallons in there. You do not realize how much water you
have until all of a sudden it just starts coming and coming
and coming. My bed got totally soaked.
I went to the hospital, and they kept me flat, they
wouldnt let me get up because of the water already
breaking. They were afraid that the cord would wrap
around the babys neck. So I had to stay flat on my back
and it was so painful. She was posterior, so she was all in
my back. I thought my back was going to break. It felt like
a hundred pounds inside my body on my back.
I was in hard labor for twelve hours, but I just wasnt
going anywhere, nothing was happening. It took forever to
finally get her there. It was very, very, painful. I was
throwing up during the labor. I was just so nauseous and
sick. Its funny because the whole time I was pregnant, I

hoped I could throw up. But I never could until the labor,
and then I threw up a lot.
With her, it was way back in the old days, and they
gave me ether. They put the gas mask on me. When I
had the most horrible pains of all and I was trying to push,
they would put it over my nose. Oh, I felt like I was being
smothered. It was still horrible pain. I think it just barely
dulled it. She was posterior and they wanted to turn her
around, so he had to go in and flip her over.
With our first son, they started me. I had him within
four hours. I used a birthing chair with him, and I liked it. I
thought it was incredible compared to having to be so flat.
It was a lot more comfortable.They gave me some type of
medication with him. I wasnt throwing up and it wasnt
anything like the first timeit was just so much better.
With our second son, they also started me, would
you like to know why? So my husband could go deer
hunting! Im still mad at him for that. He wanted to be able
to go, so he wanted me to get started before he left. So
they started me on the Friday before the deer hunt. He
was with me when the baby was born, and left an hour
later. Then he came back Sunday to pick me up and take
me home. But I was very hurt. I just thought it was really
unfair and he regrets it now.
I think men are wimps when it comes to pain. It was
funny because with the third one, my husband got sick.
He got nauseous and he couldnt even stand by me and
hold my hand. He was over in a chair dying! Karen

Our daughter was due March 13, and on February
11, early in the morning, my water broke. I went out to the
hospital and I was in labor there for two days; all day the
11th, and then all day the 12th and at 10:00 that night
they finally took her cesarean. It would go on for a few
hours, and then it would subside. That was really hard
because I would be in constant labor-like pains a minute
and a half apart, hard labor, but I would only dilate to one.

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She was born with a sore throat. I dont think that if
your waters broken they allow the baby to stay in there
that long anymore. Its not good for the baby. But he knew
I wanted to have a lot of children and so he didnt want to
have to take it cesarean. Back then, if you had one
cesarean, then you had to have all of them cesarean. But
my body just didnt dilate, so I probably couldnt have had
children normally anyway.
My first two were 22, 23 years ago, and they gave me
a local in my stomach area. That numbed it, but then they
started the incision and cutting, and when they would get
down so deep, you could really feel that. They couldnt
give you ether until they got to the baby. Id be in so much
pain and then theyd put that ether over my nose and
mouth and I was just gasping it in and then Id go out. And
when you have the ether, it makes you really sick to your
stomach, so as youre coming out of it, youre doing a lot
of throwing up. Thats how I did it with my first and
second.
And then my third one, they gave me a spinal. When
they started doing the cutting, part of me on the one side
hadnt taken, it wasnt as deadened, so they localed that.
It was nicer, because then I was awake, and I could see
when they lifted the baby up and they showed him to me.
The other two I didnt see until they were a day old.
Susan

I remember a friend telling me that labor felt a lot like
menstrual cramps. The one thing that was different was
that the pain came and went.
On the enema dilemma, some doctors dont give you
a choice, but if they do, have one. It makes for a clean
delivery plus you get the bonus of not having a bowel
movement for awhile, giving your stitches, etc. some time
to heal before any excess strain is put on them.
With the first delivery, I didnt have an epidural, just
pain killer and local. Initially it was done to ease the

budget a little, but when I did have epidurals for the
others, I was glad that I hadnt had one the first time so
that I really knew how to push. Martha

The first baby I thought was really hard, because you
dont know what to expect. I had a real easy delivery with
the fifth baby. I just had mild pains all along, and I even
went to the rodeo. The pains werent hard. At the hospital,
the doctor checked me and he says, Youre all right. And
he went home to mow his lawn and I had the baby. The
nurse delivered it. It was just too late. When the babys
there, its there! But that was the easiest delivery I ever
had.
I just ripped and they sewed me up after. I knew they
were doing it, but it didnt hurt me. Youre so numb from
having the baby that you dont feel anything.
They didnt let husbands into the delivery room back
then. My husband was glad, too. I guess hed seen
enough delivery out on the farm, he didnt want to see
anything else. But I think its a good idea!
The last baby didnt make it. He had a heart problem
and lived only two days. I had a miscarriage at first, and
then we lost the last baby, but to think we have ten
beautiful children in between! Its worth it. Cleo

I was a week early. I went into labor and went to the
hospital about midnight. The nurse asked me if I wanted
to have a shot to see if it would stop labor because I
wasnt due for a week. Or, since I was dilating, she said
the doctor could come in and break my water. Those were
my options. I decided to just get the shot and go home to
see if it would calm things down.
So I went home and I watched the clock all night long
because my contractions didnt stop. And I went back in
the next day about noon. I was in labor until about two
and they finally decided to break my water because it

C h a p t e r 6 144
wasnt breaking on its own. I ended up having her at 9:30.
So I was in labor well over 24 hours. I was in miserable
labor from the time I entered the hospital at noon; the
contractions just kept getting stronger and stronger and
stronger.
My mom was in there the whole time. My sister and
mother-in-law came in about five hours before I had the
baby. I could have cared less who was in the room at that
point. I just wanted to get the baby out.
I was probably the noisiest one in there. I moaned a
lot. I didnt ever scream. It was very miserable. You go in
there not knowing what to expect with your first one. Even
the prenatal classes just do not prepare you. The second
one is definitely much easier.
You always hear these terrible, gross, disgusting
things about...because youre pushing so hard, you dont
know whats going to come out. And the nurse said, Oh,
shes just pooped. And I said, I did?! I was so
exhausted I could barely talk. But she just meant I was
really tired. I didnt ever mess on the table. Anyway, that
was just kind of funny when the whole thing was over and
done.
The epidural didnt work worth anything the first time
around. I was trying to do it naturally. I dilated up to a six
and so I probably had the epidural only a couple of hours
before I delivered. It numbed my legs horribly, but that
was it.
The nurse had me hold a towel and she held onto the
other end and had me pull on the towel to help me push.
Just the force of trying to hold onto something helped me
push. When you have an epidural its numbing things and
its hard to feel the sensation or the urge to push. Well,
actually, I was too exhausted anyway because I had been
in labor for so long.
The nurse left to go talk to the doctor and my sister
was supposed to be holding onto the towel so that I could
get the urge to push. When I went to pull, she let go of the
towel and I went flying backwards and it hit me in the

head. I was really frustrated. I didnt have much help.
Nobody was doing anything. What could they do?Sit
there and tell me, Okay, Jana, here comes another one!
The nurse was in there with me the whole time. The
doctor came in towards the end. Hed check on me
periodically, but there was nothing he could do.
I finally gave up about ten after nine and said, I cant
do this anymore. I was completely exhausted. The doctor
ended up having to come in and take her with forceps
because I just couldnt get her out. Her head kept coming
out and then slipping back in. By that time I couldnt feel
anything. Id had an episiotomy, plus I ripped. It was very
painful the whole time, but I had been pushing so hard for
so long that the pressure had numbed any sensation
down there anyway. So I didnt even know they gave me
an episiotomy and that I ripped.
Once her head came out, oh my gosh, I was so
relieved, it was unreal. Nothing after that bothered me.
After pushing for two hours, youre so numb you dont feel
anything. He stitched me up, I didnt even look, I could
have cared less. I didnt ever feel him doing anything. And
he had to stitch me up forever.
They lifted her up and put her on my stomach for just
a second. I just kind of reached out for her, but I was so
tired that I couldnt even really feel myself. And then they
cleaned her up and gave her to my husband. Several
people held her. I didnt dare hold her because I was so
exhausted, I was shaking.
Every time I tried to get out of my bed or into my bed
at the hospital, it was just a total struggle. And then at
home, I had to go so slowly. Even two weeks later, Id get
in the shower and Id feel like my whole rear end was just
going to drop right out of me. It felt like gravity was just
going to pull it, I guess because I had the episiotomy and I
ripped and I was in such hard labor for so long.
My husband almost left me once during labor. He
was just so tired of seeing his wife in all this pain and
nobody could do anything for it. He finally just couldnt

C h a p t e r 6 146
take it and he started to walk out of the room, and I got
very angry when he got to the door. I said that I would be
worse off in there without him. So he came back in and
struggled along with me.
After it was all said and done, he said we were never
having another child again. And then we ended up having
twins after that, but that was the easiest labor in the whole
world. After I had the twins, I got wheeled back to the
delivery room with a big old grin on my face. I was trying
to go without an epidural, but I would decide now that if
theres pain killers available, you might as well get them
because whats the point of going through that?
I didnt have any problems with my twins, as far as
premature labor or anything like that. Most twins arent
carried full term. The average delivery for twins is 37
weeks, full term is 39. I carried them 371/2 and then I had
the doctor start me. I went in to the doctor and they
checked me, and I was dilated to almost 3. He said that
would be fine if I wanted to be started.
I went to the hospital, and they just started me
intravenously, with a drip. The whole process was only
about 4-1/2 hours from start to finish...the ideal delivery.
They started me about 8:00, and a couple of hours later,
the doctor came in and broke my first water. The babies
were in separate sacs, so two waters had to be broken.
They only break the first babys water originally, and then
the second one usually breaks on its own. When the first
water broke, the head of the first baby was clear down in
the birth canal, so it just gradually leaked out, it wasnt a
rush. But with the second one, when the water broke, it
just shot out everywhere. My doctor was drenched. It went
all over the place.
I was going to try to go as long as I could without an
epidural, but the pain after being started came on so hard.
So they came in and gave me the epidural about two
hours into it.
I thought I had to go to the bathroom really bad, so I
told my husband to run and get the nurse because I just

felt massive pain down there. I told her I thought I needed
to poop. She said no, you dont need to go to the
bathroom, the babies heads are coming right now. You
need to push.
She called my doctor, and he came flying over from
his office which was across the street. With twins, you
automatically deliver in the C-section room at this hospital
because of the possible complications. They rushed me in
there, and I probably pushed for fifteen minutes, and the
first one came out. Then immediately they started having
me push again when the next contraction came up; nine
minutes later, the other one was born.
I lost 35 pounds just delivering. They say the average
weight gain with twins is 35-45; I gained probably between
45 and 48. They were good-sized twins, both 5 pounds,
12 ounces and 19 inches long.They were in separate sacs
and there were two placentas that had fused together.
Even after having twins, Im already thinking, I
wonder when Im going to have my next baby? I wonder
what its going to be like? Jana

I took my childbirth class from somebody that was not
associated with the hospital. She taught a few other
things besides all the information about the stages of
labor and so forth. She said once you get into labor, you
ought to have a choice as to how you handle it. Maybe
Lamaze wont work for you, and youll want to do Bradley,
or maybe it will be the other way around.
Well, I couldnt do the Lamaze. I hyperventilated
when I tried to do some of the Lamaze breathing during
labor. So I did the Bradley method, which is just slow
breathing. That helped a lot more for me, to relax, which is
not terribly easy to do once you get into real hard labor.
With none of my pregnancies has my water broken
first. Its always broken the very last few minutes before
the babys born, so thats never an issue with me. I had
the two unusual births that came really fast, the second

C h a p t e r 6 148
and fourth, and the first and the third were pretty much
regular.
The car birth and the home birth were very similar
labors. A lot of the things that happened during the other
labors didnt happen during these two labors. With the first
and the third, I had had a bloody show at the beginning of
labor, so I had a clue something was going on. But with
the second and the fourth, I never had that bloody show.
When I announced to my husband when we were
first married that he was going to be in the delivery room
when I had our children, he was very surprised. But he
took the classes with me and he was present at all the
births. I liked to have him hold my hand and be there and
touch me. Some women dont like to be touched when
theyre in labor, but not me. The first one, it was very
helpful to have him there. He was helping to coach me
and he helped support me during my last contractions. I
was in a squatting position for those. Thats what I chose
to do rather than laying back, that didnt feel good. And so
I had my arms around his neck and he was supporting my
weight while I was pushing.
With the second one, at first I thought that labor was
just gas pains until they got really intense and I couldnt
even stand up during them. I decided Id better call the
doctor. By the time I called them up, my contractions were
to the point where I had one while I was on hold, and so I
hung up on them and had my contractions and then I
called them back. And they said, Get to the hospital
now. So I called my husband and said, Get home now.
It took him about ten minutes to get home.
I was standing at the door with everything packed
and my two-year-old child ready to go when he walked in,
and an anxious look on my faceI thought it was an
anxious look, but maybe it wasnt anxious enough! When
youre in labor, most people dont believe that its as far
along as it is. And my husband didnt believe it because
he was figuring the labor would be about half of what the
first labor was. So he was figuring on a 7-hour labor, and

even if Id been in labor for two or three hours, he thought
we had about four more hours to go. So he was taking his
time; he hadnt even packed his hospital bag yet.
Between contractions, I made my way out to the car. I
was timing them at that point and they were about 3-4
minutes apart. I told him to drive really fast. We had to
drop off our child at his grandparents house, and then we
got on the freeway. It was a bad time to be on the
freeway, on a Friday afternoon when everybodys going
south, and we were going south; so it was a little bit slow.
The hospital was forty minutes away from where we
lived in California. About the time that we were getting off
the exit, and we still had a lot of streets to go through, I
had a feeling right then that we were not going to make it
to the hospital. I started looking around for hospitals that
were close by, and there werent any, so we just kept
driving.
At one point I asked my husband if I should get in the
back seat because in all of the stories Id heard about
labors in the car, the lady was in the back seat. But it
didnt occur to me at that point in time that they would be
stopped at a parking lot and that shed get out of the car
and then into the back seat. I was suggesting climbing
over the seat while I was in labor, and he looked at me
and said, No, why? I thought, Well, okay, I wont. So I
stayed in the front seat.
But I was getting uncomfortable and I figured I was in
transition about then. I had already undone my seatbelt
buckle when we dropped off my son, so I kneeled up on
the seat facing backwards. It was one of those highback
seats with a headrest, so I was grabbing onto the
headrest and kneeling up. We heard my water break
during one of the contractions. It was a very loud pop, I
guess like opening a bottle or somethingpopping a cork.
I thought maybe I should try to stop pushing, and my
husband said, No, do whatever feels good. And it felt
good to scream, so I did during the pushing contractions.
And then there were about three contractions while we

C h a p t e r 6 150
were at a stop light, and the baby was born (on Placentia
Blvd.)! I remember feeling the body coming out, but I dont
remember catching him. But my husband watched me
actually deliver the baby, and I did catch him as he came.
I was wearing a jumper, so I guess nothing was
visible to the cars around me. Nobody was watching, they
were all wanting to get home from work. Everyone was
intent on waiting for the light to change, and no one
noticed that somebody was having a baby in the car next
to them! Our car is pretty soundproof, so they didnt hear
me screaming.
That was the only time Ive ever screamed through
labor. The screaming helped release the tension so that
the muscles relaxed and I think it came faster because of
that. And after I caught him, I turned him over to look at
him to see if he was breathing, and he just made one little
whimper and started breathing, never cried. I didnt have
anything to wrap him in, it was all in the back seat where I
couldnt reach it. And of course, my husband had to have
his hands on the wheel, ready to go when the light turned
green, being in rush hour traffic.
The cord was around his neck once, I dont know if it
was because of the angle that I caught him and brought
him up or if it was around his neck when he was born. But
I moved the cord from his neck and just checked him out.
His color was good, and I turned him over so that he could
drain out if he had to and held him close to me with one
hand on the bottom of his stomach and my other hand on
the back of the seat, so that when my husband started
driving I wouldnt fall backwards.
Then when we got to the hospital, the nurses came
down and cut the cord and wrapped the baby up in
blankets and took him up to stabilize his temperature.
When he was born, he had a knot in the cord. A true knot.
That could have been a complication, had I made it to the
hospital. The doctor told me that I might have had an
emergency C-section because it would have wreaked
havoc with the fetal monitors. When the babys on the

way down and the cord pulls, it makes the heartbeat get
all wild. So I could have had an emergency C-section with
him, and instead I ended up having him in the car.
I was totally calm during that birth, but maybe the
terror of it surfaced during the third labor. I opted to have
an epidural that time because I had had the delivery
before with the one in the car and I was thinking, I dont
want to feel this pain, I just want drugs! My husband tried
to talk me out of it, but of course that was his duty
according to the childbrith classes. So he said, Are you
sure you need this? And I said, Yes! I want it
immediately, now! And so I had that, and it was a nice
experience because I wasnt in extreme pain and I was
able to actually watch the birth that time.
The fourth birth was planned to be at home with a
midwife. Unfortunately, the midwife lived 45 minutes
away, and she didnt make it in time. Our problem was
again we had one of those fast births like the second
baby.
I was having false labor, many times a day for the
month and a half before. This time it was evening and I
was laying on the bed watching tv. I had contractions that
were coming and going instead of just staying and
crunching like the usual false labor, so I thought, Well,
maybe this is something. But when I tried to time them, it
was impossible because I couldnt figure out when some
of the contractions began or ended, and the times in
between were so variable. And I thought, Well, is this false
labor, or is it the real thing? And the other thing that threw
me off, too, was that it was two weeks early. Ive never
had an early baby.
Except, I kept thinking about that second labor, and it
was just like the second labor in a lot of ways. So I had
several hours of the on again off again contractions, and
my husband tried to time it for me. He wrote it down for
about an hour and it didnt seem to organize out into
anything. But we decided that we should maybe call the

C h a p t e r 6 152
midwife anyway, just in case it turned into real labor. And
when she looked at that paper later on, she said, I
wouldnt have guessed this was labor. It doesnt look like
labor. So we were right to be confused.
Before I called her, I took a shower. She had told me
that that would usually speed things up or stop things. So
I did that, but it didnt seem to make a difference one way
or the other. And thats when I called her. She told me a
few more things to do and she said one of them would be
to try to lay down and get some rest and see what that
does and call me back in half an hour. She was getting in
the shower herself so she could get ready to come. This
was in the middle of the night, anyway. It was 1:30.
Several minutes later, I did those few things and I sat
down on the bed, tried to lay down and I couldnt. I
couldnt make myself lay down. I was too keyed up, and
thats when I realized that it was real labor, because I did
not want to lay down and rest. I just could not do it.
And so I called her right back, got her out of the
shower and said, This is real labor. Youd better get here
now! She said, Okay, Im on my way. She had to get
dressed and go over to pick up the other midwife, and
then she called back after about twenty minutes, and my
husband told her, Youre not going to make it. He just
had a feeling, I guess.
My husband was rushing around, fixing up the room.
He had to prepare the room for the birth, and have all the
equipment ready that the midwife brought a month before
my due date. So he was setting up the tables, he was
fixing up the bed, and in between that, he was helping me
with my contractions. We had learned some pressure
points that really helped a lot during labor. He did that for
me during my contractions.
My midwife had also told me that contractions come
in sets of three. You have a contraction, and then a little
bit stronger, and then the strongest one. And then they
start all over again with a slighter contraction, and then a
medium one, and then a strong one. And that kind of

helped me to go through those contractions, to know
which ones were going to be strong and which ones
werent going to be as bad.
As things progressed, I was just on the floor next to
the bed because my husband was making the bed, and I
felt more comfortable there anyway because I could grab
hold of the bed in a kneeling position if I wanted to. Well,
my midwife, of course, hadnt arrived yet, and it got to the
point where I was in a lot of pain and I was thinking that it
might be nice to get into the shower.
And so I just grabbed along the side of the doorway
to the bathroom from my bedroom to get into the shower.
And as I was trying to stand up to get in there, my water
broke. And then it was like a contraction and a half later,
the baby was born.
The midwife had told my husband what to do, how to
help support the babys weight so hopefully he wouldnt
tear when the head came. So he was trying to get me to
slow the labor down, but I wouldnt listen to him because I
just wanted the baby out at that point. But he was right
there, trying to help me deliver the baby, and he was there
to help me determine if the baby was all right once he was
born.
He didnt just slowly come out, he came flying out
there, like he was on a water slide! We had a hard time
catching him. My husband was behind me, and of course I
reached down to grab him and my husband reached down
to grab the back end of him. He didnt fall or anything
because I was just kneeling on the ground, so he kind of
slid out onto the sheet that was therewe had a shower
curtain and a sheet. My husband said, Well, pick him up!
So I picked him up and turned him over and looked at him.
I didnt even hear him whimper, but he just started
taking breaths apparently. He was kind of a lavendar
color. And as we were checking him out, the midwives
walked in the door. We left the front door open for them.
They had expected to see the paramedics there or
something.

C h a p t e r 6 154
The midwife had told me a few days before that she
had wanted my husband to deliver the baby. She decided
that she would turn it over to him right when the baby was
being born. She didnt want to tell him that to get him all
nervous beforehand, but she had said thats what she
wanted to do. He got that chance even though she wasnt
there to turn it over to him! We had no choice. But it didnt
bother him, all the blood or whatever. He wasnt nervous.
No big deal to him. He was right there helping.
Anyway, it was about an hour between the time that I
called her and said I was sure I was in labor until the time
the baby was born. The contractions started a little less
than four hours before he was born. But it didnt start for
real until an hour before he was born. So it happened with
a bang!
The midwife wrapped the baby up and checked him.
He was the calmest baby Ive ever seen. He was sitting
there totally naked, brand newborn, and didnt cry or
whimper or anything. He sat there quietly through being
weighed and everything. Since he was looking lavendar,
she tickled his feet to make him cry. He started crying a bit
and got some more color in him. And then I nursed him. I
was still sitting there on the floor and my husband was
supporting my back. So we nursed there for awhile. And
she still hadnt cut the cord. I think it was half an hour later
or so that she finally cut the cord from the baby.
I stayed in bed for the first week after. I stayed up in
my room and my husband brought me the meals, cleaned
the house, took care of the kids, all of that stuff. And then
the next week he went back to work. But thats what
helped me the most recovering from that birth, was to
have that time of recovery, and then I was able to bounce
back a lot faster.
It was a real spiritual experience having that one. My
husband gave me a blessing during the last part of labor.
There was a feeling in the room that we were getting extra
help. There was an unseen force there helping through
the labor and the delivery and everything. Because it was

just me and him, and everything went perfectly well. Of all
the things that could go wrong during a birth, it happened
perfectly, no complications, no problems. The baby was
totally fine. It was a miracle that it all happened so
smoothly. Jayne

My water has never broken on me. When I get so far
in labor, they break the water. And whats funny is every
time, I have to go in the middle of the night to the hospital.
Because its not really that painful, I just wait until I cant
stand it anymore and thats when Ill go. So I take a
shower and we go to bed. And while were laying in bed,
every time I have a contraction I pull my husbands hair.
Thats one thing that hell never forget.
Well, the nurses check you and call the doctor, and
then he comes in and says, Yep, shes having a baby! I
get the epidural as soon as I can. Then the pain goes
away, and a lot of times my labor slows down after the
epidural.
It was really painful getting them in. I think thats
because I was in such bad labor by then that it was so
hard to sit up and roll into a ball so they could get the
needle in my back. But its almost instant relief. Its
wonderful. I never had any bad effects from it. Ive heard
of people having backaches or headaches, but I never
did. I dont know if I could do it naturally. Unless I was
progressing really fast and I knew it was only going to be
like five more contractions or something.
With my first, he was seventeen days early. And I
thought, this is false labor, it cant be real. I had
contractions from about three in the afternoon on, and
they started getting really bad by about midnight. We
called the hospital. You say its your first and they think
you dont know anything. But it was real!
With my second, we got as far as getting the head
out and, I guess he had broad shoulders. The doctor
looks at the nurses and goes, Well, what do we do now?

C h a p t e r 6 156
He was stuck! I had to push so hard to get his shoulders
out.
With my third, they checked me when I was at six,
and then I had some really bad pains and I said, I know
its close. The nurse checked again and said, Yep,
youre complete. I said, I need to push! This hurts! I
could feel his head right there, and there was so much
pressure. I will never forget that feeling.
The epidural was just about worn off. They let the
epidural almost wear off so that you can feel the
contractions to push at the very end. And then once you
start pushing, they give you more for pain. I was ready to
push. I dont have to push very long, either. I push maybe
once or twice to get the head out and then once more to
get the body out.
With my first, I had the three es: the enema,
epidural, and episiotomy. The enema was something Id
never had before. My husband was in the room with me.
The nurse came in and gave me the enema and I sat
down on the toilet, and boy, it was a good thing! It was a
real shock. It was so funny, it wasnt what we were
expecting. He laughed and the nurse got mad and kicked
him out.
It felt like I was empty, except for the baby. It really
made me feel good. I had it with my first two, and I
thought it helped. And then I dont have to worry about
after the baby is born. Thats always scary the first time,
and you know its going to hurt. I get hemorrhoids really
bad. With my second I had them, and they healed up
good. With my third, it took months and months. It was
awful.
After I have my babies, oh, Im so high, so happy. Its
just a natural high, such a good feeling. When the babys
there, its all worth it. Its so special. You just feel like you
can handle anything in the world after you deliver a baby.
I know I can do it again. If you can do it once, you can do
it again. Deidre

Are these Braxton-Hicks, or is it the real thing? I had
a doctors appointment in the morning. I was already
having labor pains and not feeling very well at all. I started
a log of my contractions. At the time of my appointment
they were 15 minutes apart. The doctor examined me; I
was neither dilated nor effaced so she sent me home
telling me I wasnt in labor. All I could think of was, If this
isnt labor...holy smoke, Im in trouble! What can you give
me for the pain?
So I went home. Thank heaven my husband stayed
home with me that day! I was feeling nauseous and I had
a headache, body aches, all over PAIN! Basically I
labored at home that whole day. I tried anything to ease
the pain. Hot shower, meditation, visualization techniques.
My dad, who is an OB, walked me through some
visualization and breathing techniques which helped
enormously. Finally around 4:00 I talked to my dad again.
He said, Honey, whats wrong? I replied, The
pain...ugh...the pain! He told me it was time to go to the
hospital, but that I would probably be there for at least
eight hours since my water hadnt broken yet.
So I called my doctor again with a report. My
contractions are now two minutes apart...Do you think Im
in labor? Should I go to the hospital? Yes, they finally
sent me to the hospital. I really didnt even think they
would admit me. I thought it was false labor since I had
been to the doctor that morning. But HA! I was wrong.
They checked me and I was dilated to 8 centimeters and
completely effaced. Do you want an epidural? they
asked... Are you kidding? I couldnt believe it, this was it...
Bring on the epidural!
Once the anesthesia kicked in everything was much
better, and after only two hours of pushing the baby
arrived at 7:53 that night. I couldnt believe it was all over.
What an amazing process. I really felt exhilerated.
I loved having our son stay in the hospital room with
me; even my husband got to stay. Our parents arrived
(late, of course), but they came with champagne and

C h a p t e r 6 158
flowers. The amazement on their faces to see us with the
baby and already recovering was great. Ill never forget
that day! Helena

I had them all C-section. Ive never had a labor pain
because Ive always checked in before I had a chance to.
They took our daughter two weeks early. She was breech.
They kept trying to turn her and shed flip right back, and
her heart rate would go up. So they quit trying to turn her
because they thought the cord was around her neck.
Then they thought shed try to turn on her own and
strangle, so they just scheduled me.
Im such a boob. I bawled and bawled. I wanted a
natural so bad. It was very important. My husband and I
took the prenatal classes and we were so proud that wed
gone through all that, and we were just excited. They told
me I could try to go natural, but it wasnt worth the risk of
losing her.
So they took her C-section. I was completely out. I
was asleep for about three hours recovering. When I
woke up, everybody knew what I had before I did and that
crushed me. I hated that.
Theyd wheeled me back into my room, and they
were cleaning up and counting all their surgical stuff, and
they were short a needle. They said, Maybe we sewed it
up inside of her! So then they wheeled me back in, and
had to x-ray my stomach to look for the needle. But they
never found itthe x-rays didnt show it in me. I dont know
what happened to it, but I hurt so bad! For the whole first
day I was kind of out of it because they kept drugging me
out, other than looking for the needle. That was kind of a
bad deal. I didnt think the needle was very funny, but
everybody else did. To this day, they think that was just a
hoot.
And then the nurse came in to massage my stomach.
She didnt know you werent supposed to do that on a C-
section. It hurt. I was kind of a guinea pig. They

apologized, and then they treated me with kid gloves after
the first day.
I was so sick with our daughter that I was scared to
go through that again. I was just petrified to go in that
hospital. With my next one, they told me that I could try to
have it natural. I tried and tried. I wanted to so bad. I did
everything I could to induce labor, because I thought if I
once got there, theyd let me go through with it. But it got
too close and he got too big and I wouldnt dilate, so they
said, Forget it, youre going C-section! I agreed, but only
if I could stay awake. So from then on they just gave me
an epidural, and I knew what I had first!
My uterine lining was really thin, and they thought
that with another pregnancy it might rupture. And so when
I was carrying our second son, the doctor said, When we
cut you open well check to see whether you can have
more or not. Thats the first thing I askedhe says, Well,
its a boy, and I said, Do I get another one? I asked that
immediately because I wanted another one so bad. He
says Yeah, you can probably have one more, but that will
be it.
Shortly afterward I had to go back in twice to get
reoperated on. I had my stomach cut three times in a row.
Right after the C-section, they did an appendectomy.
Then all of a sudden I had this huge ball of infection inside
of me, and they didnt know where it came from. Nobody
ever pinpointed anything. But one of my ovaries was so
infected that it had to be removed.
And I never got my one more. They said lots of
women still have kids with one ovary. Whether thats not
enough for me, I dont know. But nothing ever clicked. It
just wasnt meant to be, I guess.
I remember a lot of people telling me how scary C-
sections were, and that scared me just in and of itself. But
as I was laying there in the hospital with our first son, I
listened to another woman in labor scream for almost two
days. She was in labor a long time. And I laid there and
thought, I couldnt do that. Im glad mines C-section. I hurt

C h a p t e r 6 160
more after, but Im almost kind of grateful. She moaned
and groaned all night long. And I kept thinking, this is a
piece of cake compared to natural childbirth! I didnt think
C-sections were really that bad.
My kids are all three years and three days apart.
Thats pretty unique, isnt it? With our second son, they
kept saying, We need to take this baby. And Id say no,
I have to get past our daughters birthday and then I have
to get past our first sons birthday. So finally when I got
there, it was a joke at the hospital. Are you through with
the birthdays so you can have this baby?! They were all
born like at about 8:20 in the morning. So theyre exactly
three years and three days apart, almost to the minute. Its
a lot of birthdays all in one week!
Laurel

The practice we went to specializes in home delivery.
A doctor and a nurse go to your home when you are in
labor. Not everyone that goes to this practice qualifies to
do a home delivery. You cannot be a high risk case, and
you must deliver between weeks 38 and 42. All other
patients must deliver in the hospital. They believe in no
drugs, no episiotomies, and breast feeding.
They also have a labor suite that is located inside
the hospital, but is not part of the hospital. You can labor
in this room, but in order to receive any drugs or deliver a
baby you must be admitted. Since I was afraid to deliver
at home, I chose that route. How it works is that once you
start labor, you go to the hospital and stay in this labor
suite with one of their nurses. The nurse keeps a close
eye on your progress, but you are free to roam around.
The labor suite is just like a small apartment. It had four
rooms, a small kitchenette, bedroom with a real bed,
showers, etc., but I was in the hospital building so if
something went wrong I wouldnt have far to go.
I will never forget the day I went into labor. I had a
doctors appointment and I told the doctor I was ready to

have this baby. I was 39 weeks pregnant. I was miserable.
I was huge and my feet were so big I could hardly walk.
She asked me how regular my periods were and I
told her they used to be every 30 to 32 days. She told me
that I would probably be late, but then who really knew
when I would go into labor. The baby had dropped and
she couldnt feel the head. But she said see you next
week as I was leaving.
That night, really early the next morning, I woke up
around 2:00 a.m.When I got up to go to the bathroom, the
bed was wet and there was blood! I woke my husband
and told him that I thought the water bag broke. Little did
we know the fun was just beginning.
We called the doctor and she asked me if I was
having any contractions. I wasnt. She told me to go back
to bed and get some sleep. I would need it. If active labor
did not start by around 10:00 a.m., I would have to go in to
the office to make sure the baby was fine and that there
was enough amniotic fluid.
Well, I could not go back to sleep. I was so nervous
and excited. So was my husband, but he tried to get some
sleep. The doctor called around 9:00 a.m. to see if active
labor had started, and since it hadnt I had to go in to the
office to be checked. They gave me an ultrasound (I never
had one through the whole pregnancy) and a stress test
to make sure the baby was okay. The baby was doing just
fine. What had happened was the water bag sprung a
leak, so it was like a faucet that has a drip.
I had two choices. I could be admitted into the
hospital and they would give me Pitocin, or we could try
using a breast pump and have my body make natural
pitocin, and go into labor sort of naturally.
We chose the breast pump option. Within a few
minutes of the breast pump, I was having contractions.
After 30 minutes of the breast pump the contractions were
stronger and more consistent. After 40 minutes I was in
active labor and dilated to 1! At that point we headed to
the hospital. I was still able to use the labor suite. The

C h a p t e r 6 162
nurse met us there. The doctor called almost every hour
until around 10:00 p.m. when she arrived at the hospital.
I left the doctors office with contractions five minutes
apart. It took a half hour to get to the hospital, and when I
did I became very ill. The pain was so intense I would
vomit. I guess I should add that my labor was the dreaded
back labor. I had back labor the entire night. I dont
remember what time I would be checked and to what
number I would be dilated, but I do remember that at
around 4 centimeters I was begging for drugs. I didnt
care.
I walked around the room, or laid on the bed
screaming in pain. My husband had to rub my back for the
entire evening. I begged again and again for drugs, but
then I was too far along to get anything. I remember
hoping they couldnt find the babys heart beat and would
rush me in for an emergency C-section so I could get
DRUGS! Because every time I was checked I would be
dilated further, I used that as my motivation to go on. My
husband also encouraged me. I begged him to kill me,
too.
Then around 11:00 p.m. I was ready to push. Finally,
I could push this kid right out of me. Well, guess what? I
pushed for over 2-1/2 hours! The whole time I was
pushing, my back was killing me. I had back labor the
whole time! When I was pushing, my husband could see
the babys head and all the hair. This was so exciting!
When I was able to push the baby just past the pelvic
bone, I was wheeled down to the delivery room and
admitted into the hospital.
The doctor told me to push really hard and after a
few more times of pushing, the head came out! Boy, did
that hurt. I could feel the head holding me open. Then she
told me I had to push even harder so that the body could
come out. I had two doctors and one nurse ready to catch,
and my husband was by my side. I pushed so hard and
screamed so loud and as I did, the baby came right out. I
lost my voice from screaming so loud.

There were six hands that caught the baby and when
I looked through my legs I knew it was a girl before
anyone else did. She was born at 1:34 a.m. She was wide
awake, alert, and looking around. She was put on my
chest immediately and a smile came upon her face. My
precious baby girl!
Yes, I did beg for drugs, but I am so glad that I did
not receive any. I went home that same day at around
1:00 p.m. I had no episiotomy, and I recovered in no time.
Looking back, I would do the same thing all over again. In
fact, my husband and I are talking about having another
baby, and I will do a home delivery with the next one, and
go the no drugs route again. Im sure Ill beg again, but
the return is well worth the pain. Marcia

My first delivery was the most awful experience in the
whole world. I woke up in the night and I was extremely
uncomfortable. I thought maybe it was gas. I was just
miserable. I was two days over, but I didnt really think
about what labor was going to be like. I was twenty. Being
younger, I was pretty casual.
Id walk around, trying to get comfortable, and
nothing relieved it. I woke my husband up, and by that
time I figured I was in labor. I called my mother and I said,
Mom, how can you tell if youre in labor? And she says,
Are you having pains? How far apart are they? I said,
Three minutes. She said, Get off this phone and get to
the hospital right now! It was probably about three in the
morning when I went in. They thought I was going to have
the baby by about seven. And the baby never came and
never came. I was dilated to about seven or eight, and I
just wouldnt dilate anymore. We were at a standstill.
It was Thanksgiving Day, and everybody wanted to
go home and have their dinner. By noon the doctor said
he was going to go home and eat. Nothing had happened,
but my pains were still about two minutes apart. I was
having a lot of back labor, really severe pain in my back.

C h a p t e r 6 164
The nurse sat there with her books right by my bedside
the whole time with me. They brought my husband his
Thanksgiving dinner and I just sat there and endured my
pain.
The paracervical block they had given me wore off
and they couldnt give me another one because it was too
soon. I never wanted another one of those again because
it was really painful. It felt like it was just slicing right
through me. I was having contractions about two minutes
apart from about three in the morning until about five in
the evening. It was awful. So the doctor decided to take
the baby with forceps. They took me into the operating
room and put me out with this stuff called Trialene. The
little thing that they put over my mouth and nose was
dripping on my face. And I was fighting them trying to tell
them. Finally I got my hand loose from them and said, Its
dripping on my face! They apologized and wiped it off.
Then they decided to put me out with ether. My
husband says they gave me two canisters of that ether.
And they finally took the baby with forceps. When he was
born he had marks on his face, on his forehead, and right
next to his eye. He looked limp because the ether put him
out just like it did me. They had to resuscitate him to get
him breathing. It was kind of scary for my husband; I
wasnt conscious. It was two hours before I came to again.
All the ether made me sick. I was really nauseated
when I came around. I wasnt very anxious to have
another baby after that experience. I told my husband that
it was his turn to have the next one. It was a really scary
experience for me.
My doctor was an older man and I think that if it had
been a younger doctor, they probably would have done a
cesarean because my labor was so hard and I wasnt
dilating. The baby was probably in stress himself. I had
episiotomies with each one of them, and they always cut
you straight back, but with that one, he cut me off to the
side. I had the hardest time healing from that. I was still
having a lot of trouble after three months.

I had a different doctor with our daughter. He was a
new young doctor. I just had her naturally. He gave me an
option for something, and I said no, I would rather just
have her natural. I was 29 when she was born. Going that
long before I got pregnant, I just wanted her.
I went about eight days over my due date. He had me
come into the hospital and they started me at eight oclock
that morning. At about seven oclock that night they said,
Well, why dont you just have a good nights rest and
well see how things go. The nurse came in about five in
the morning and said, Youre dilated to about a four. I
think the doctor will just send you home because youre
not doing anything.
And then the doctor came in about 7:30 and he said,
Lets get this over with. So he broke my water, and
immediately my pains started. They were just on top of
each other. I never had a break. I was nauseated.
I retained so much water. It seemed like she was just
in gallons and gallons of water. Every time they would
check me, it was as if they had broken my water again,
and they would have to change the whole bed.
My pains were steady for two hours and then they
said I was dilated to nine. They took me into the delivery
room and I think I was in there about twenty minutes and
our daughter was born. As soon as her head and
shoulders came through, they gave me a shot of Demerol,
but that was the only thing they gave me. Really, the two
hours of labor was pretty minor compared to the 12 or 13
that I had gone through with our first son.
With our second son, it was an extremely easy
delivery. It was just so totally different from my other two.
If I could have ten like that, it would be good!
He was so long in coming, 14 days over my due date.
I didnt want to be started again, I knew that. I thought, Ill
just wait until hes ready. I didnt want to be started and
endure what I had with the others. And he was born on
my dads birthday! My dad had died when I was a year
and a half old. He waited clear till my dads birthday

C h a p t e r 6 166
before he was born. Thats always been special to me.
That morning I got up and I felt just a little more
uncomfortable. my husband came home for lunch and I
was really uncomfortable. I sent both the kids over to his
mothers place because I was just so miserable. But the
pains were irregular. Once in awhile they were maybe five
to eight minutes apart.
So I went in and I was dilated enough to make them
real nervous in there. They prepped me and everything
and the pains werent even hard. They were nothing like
Id had before. I remember in between pains I was
laughing. I said, Things arent going as fast as they think
they are! My pains just werent that hard and they were
quite irregular.
They still said the baby was coming, so they took me
in to the delivery room. It took about thirty minutes and the
pains were getting harder and more uncomfortable. Then
sure enough, I got my other little boy. But it was totally
different from the others. The pain, everything was
nothing like Id ever had with the other two. It was just so
much easier. They took me to my room and everything
was wonderful. June

My anesthesiologist is one of my favorites that I work
with, and I had my good friend as my nurse. With all my
friends there I felt very comfortable that the cesarean
would go well. My husband sat at my head and we held
hands (I had a spinal anesthetic so I was awake).
My son was born and we were so surprised that he
was a boy! I had a lot of dreams that I was having a girl
and only had one dream that it was a boy.
He had blonde hair and looked so different than we
had expectedhe was very beautiful. We cried and cried,
we were so happy. The video camera was shaking
because my husband was crying so much! Lauri

With the first one, I didnt feel contractions, but I
didnt feel good. So I called my husband at work and said,
I just dont feel really good, Id like you to come home.
By the time he got home, I knew I was in labor. We finally
went in about 8 oclock at night and he wasnt born until
4:30 the next day. It was just so long33 hours total labor.
I was not a happy person.
I was just getting mad, quite irritable. You couldnt
have anything to drink. And I was so thirsty. And my
husband would keep going out and getting himself pop
and coming in and drinking the pop. And finally I just told
him what I thought about it. He didnt dare leave again.
The baby was so long in the birth canal that he had a
cone head. And that was a shock to me, you know; youre
supposed to have a cute little baby and heres this
conehead. I saw a documentary on health issues, and
there was a baby that had been born without ears. So as
soon as he was born, I said Does he have two ears?
They just laughed. They said, We have been asked
about fingers, we have been asked about toes, we have
been asked about hair, but we have never been asked
about ears! I wanted that baby to have ears!
Then the second one, I knew it was going to be a
long time. So when I realized I was in labor, I told my
husband, Im not going to go in to lay there all day.
Finally when I hurt too bad, I said, Were going to go! I
cussed him all the way. I drive this road every day, and I
dont hit those bumps that hard! Then when we got to the
hospital and pulled into the parking lot, I looked at the car
clock and it was 4:01. He was born at 4:06. I went in and
the nurse says, Youve got that look on your face; youre
going to have this baby right now! I said, If I dont, Im
going to kill somebody! She thought she was going to
deliver right then, but she looked in the hall and there was
a doctor and he came running in. We would not have had
a doctor if he hadnt been right there.
My first little girl was just like the books always said.
You could time the contractions and breathe and relax

C h a p t e r 6 168
and everything. Your adrenalins high. And I thought, Ive
perfected this!
The fourth was due the 28th of June. I had toxemia
and I spent the last two months in bed and the last month
in labor, because of the Pitocin. They kept putting it in
from the 12th of June to the 6th of July, and it would
never take. my husband quit going with me. Hed call from
work, Well, is anything happening? Id just have
contractions and go home and then go back every other
day. Finally, on the 6th of July they said, If you dont have
him tonight, well take him cesaerean. So, the Pitocin
took!
I had toxemia with the last baby, too. We didnt want
her to get too big, so they started her. She started easy, it
took. But she didnt drop down, so they had to pull her,
too. They used a vacuum. Its a little suction cup thing that
they set on their head and it just pulls them down and kind
of guides them through. She had done flips inside the
womb, and she had knots in the cord. If they had pulled
tight, it would have killed her. Emily

My water broke three weeks before my due date. It
was 7:00 in the morning of my complete 37 weeks. My
husbands alarm went off and, as usual, as he got up, I
got up to go to the bathroom. I shuffled off to the
bathroom, sat down, went, got up, shuffled back to my
bedroom, where he still was, and said, Wait a minute! I
then ran back to the bathroom and sat back down.
He ran after me and I exclaimed, Listen! as the fluid
steadily trickled out into the toilet. Im not doing this!! He
came over to me, hugged me, and said, Honey, your
water broke. Youre in labor. Thats wonderful! I
screamed back, Its not wonderful! My heart was
pounding in my throat. Im not ready for this! I have three
weeks to go! Im not packed yet!
Then I laid down while he called my doctor, who told
him to take me to the emergency room. As I laid there, I

instructed him as to where to find various things to pack
for our adventure.
I was having no contractions whatsoever and, when
we got to the hospital and they were admitting me, I said,
Maybe theyll let me go home. The lady said back to me,
Honey, your water brokeyoure not going home anytime
soon.
When I was first put into bed, they did their various
internal exams, etc. and set up the external fetal monitor (I
didnt want an internal one). Then they started the Pitocin.
By this time it was around 8:30 a.m. They kept turning it
up and up because I wasnt getting any contractions yet.
Meanwhile, my husband tried to call my mom. She
always put her phone off the hook at night because my
brothers friends called late. I kept telling her not to do that
so close to my due date, but she figured we had lots of
time. After all, my baby shower was going to be Sunday!
He finally reached her in her car.
Around 11:00 a.m., I started to feel what seemed like
mild menstrual cramps. Slowly, but surely, they increased
and by the afternoon, I was pretty miserable. They let me
sit in a recliner/rocker and suck on popsicles. I kept
making my husband cover my eyes while I had them
closed so I could relax better. I didnt like lights, it seemed.
I had a good amount of back labor and the pain in my
back was tremendous. For that, they gave me hot water
bottles and my husband rubbed my back until his hands
nearly fell off. I also listened to relaxation tapes on my
cassette player, which I brought, and I could never do it
without them! Once the contractions built up in magnitude,
I found that slow paced breathing really helped, as did
visualization.
My progression was fairly slow and, by about 7 or
8:00 p.m., I was maybe 5-6 centimeters dilated. They
didnt think that was good enough and they thought the
baby was in slight distress. They kept trying to convince
me to have an internal monitor put in, but I fought it really
hard. I didnt want an internal monitor because I (stupidly)

C h a p t e r 6 170
perceived it to be this big deal and I didnt like the idea of
a coil on my babys head. Finally, they put one in and it
was like nothing and didnt hurt at all. It was quite a relief
to get rid of those stupid belts from the external monitor
around my abdomen which werent even getting good
contraction readings anyway.
By this time, my contractions were just awful and two
minutes apart, lasting one minute each. I was so
exhausted that I was actually falling completely asleep in
between each one, to wake up moaning No! to my
husband saying, Here comes another one (he saw it on
the printout).
Eventually, maybe around 9:00 or so, they said that if
I didnt progress faster, I would have to have a C-section.
Then, they left the room. I, of course, didnt want a C-
section really badly because a) I wanted to do it naturally,
and b) we had no insurance!
People just dont realize the power of their own
minds. When I was told that I wasnt progressing fast
enough, I closed my eyes and strongly visualized my
cervix opening slowly. Not five minutes later, I was dilated
to 8 from 5!
Unfortunately for me, this was not good enough
because the babys heart rate was really dropping. My
doctor showed up then and said he had to do a C-section.
Something came over me and I sat up in bed, grabbed the
doctor by the wrist, and yelled, Please dont give me a C-
section! He advised me that my only chance not to have
one was to get an epidural and to hope that I was
complete very soon thereafter. They gave me one then,
because I would have had to have it for a C-section
anyway. Surely enough, just a few minutes later, I was
complete.
Then we were going to push. They strapped an
oxygen mask on me, and my husband stood next to me
and counted to 10 while I held my breath and pushed.
Then Id let it out and hold it again for a count of 10. The
worst pain, even with an epidural, which took only on one

side of my uterus (I was still feeling contractions on the
whole right side), was when they were doing internals
during contractions.
To further complicate matters, they then told me that
the baby was posterior presentation (he would come out
facing up, not down towards the rectum) and the only
chance of not having a C-section was for the doctor to try
turning him and pulling him out with forceps (hes known
as the forceps king at our hospital), which he did, and
everything was fine, except that the cord was wrapped
around the babys neck. The doctor just announced it and
proceeded to unwrap it quickly. My husband was not
given the opportunity to cut the cord because it all
happened very fast.
I was so scared because he didnt cry or anything,
and he was really blue. I was shouting, Is he okay? He
then started making like a gurgling sound and I knew that
everything was okay. I got to hold him very shortly after
that. They just suctioned him and wrapped him up and
then I got to hold him.
I had an episiotomy, a mediolateral one, from the
center out towards the thigh because they needed more
room for the forceps (very painful recovery from that).
Before I went home, the doctor came to me and told me to
stay in bed for about a week. He didnt say why.
The day we went home, we got ready and went to my
baby shower. I felt pretty good then, but the next day, the
baby had to go back because he had jaundice. He was
hospitalized for about a day, and I kept going to the
hospital to see him.
All this movement really irritated the episiotomy and,
as a result, I ended up swollen and in bed for about two
weeks following that! I called the doctor to ask about it
and, apparently, even though it doesnt look too bad from
the outside, there are muscles and nerves that were cut
on the inside that take a long time to heal. I would say I
wasnt completely over that episiotomy for about six
months! Sandra

C h a p t e r 6 172
We lived in a small town and there wasnt a hospital
nearby, so we went two or three days early to the hospital
in the city. My husband left me there and returned to the
small town while I waited for labor to start.
I felt pains, but didnt go tell the doctor right away. I
was afraid. I felt pains for a couple of hours. And when I
went to the doctor for her to check me, she gave me a
shot of Pitocin to speed up labor. I was shaking with fear
before I gave birth. Thats how scared I was. I wasnt
prepared at all. I didnt know how it would be. I was
shaking all over.
That Pitocin had an immediate effect. After that shot I
had such an urge to deliver, to get the baby out, but I
couldnt. And the doctor had gone to take a shower. I was
already laying on the operating table there. The nurse
said, Push! Push, push. I was pushing and I could hardly
breathe. I barely caught my breath and then pushed
again, but nothing. I couldnt talknot even to say call the
doctor, or anything. Not one word. I couldnt get to any
air. And when she saw that, and she saw that nothing
would come out, the nurse didnt know what to do. She
quickly ran to call the doctor, to get her out of the shower.
The doctor hurried in and saw that I just couldnt
deliver at all. And she said that it had to be in breech
position, the baby couldnt get out. She put gloves on and
took the scissors and I watched as she came toward me
with the scissors and started cutting. And that was a
horrible pain, without a shot, without anything, she just
started snipping, snip once, snip again. I was screaming.
And then our son finally started to come out.
Earlier, she kept saying there was no head. Why
didnt she realize that it was breech, that it was a different
position, if there was no head? She wasnt skilled in that.
At five or six months, I had gone for a check-up to another
doctor, when she wasnt there, and he immediately told
me that it was breech. He was experienced. And later at
nine months, during delivery, she cant see that the head
hasnt dropped down. She didnt know. She didnt even

notice, she just said she couldnt feel the head down
there.
She didnt reach in to turn him. She didnt flip or turn
anything. She didnt have time, because I was breathless.
I started to suffocate. They just cut me and she was
saying push, push, push, and then he came out, they
pulled him out somehow. The doctor immediately said it
was a boy. They showed me the baby right away.
After that she sewed me up, and I was in terrible
pain. She gave me shots all in that wound so I supposedly
wouldnt feel anything, but I felt everything. I felt every
prick of the needle when she stuck me and pulled that
thread through and tightened it. It was horrible. And she
stabbed me again with that needle and gave me a shot,
because I was screaming that it hurt. The anesthesia was
worthless.
My husband wasnt there. As soon as I went into the
operating room, the doctor came and asked me if I
wanted her to call him. I said for her to call him at the
clinic where he worked. So he left immediately, someone
drove him in an ambulance to the hospital. And when he
arrived, our son was already born. I was already in bed.
And then he heard that it was a difficult delivery.
I wanted a girl so much that I knew that I would try
again. I waited seven years. You carry that fear of
childbirth and cant decide again so fast.
And with our daughter I went into the hospital to be
induced. Our son had typhus, and I was so worried that I
didnt even go into labor. I carried her past term. I gave
birth after only three hours. At nine in the morning I got
the Pitocin, and after twelve she was already born.
Somehow I had a premonition that it would be a girl. I felt
different. And when she said, Its a girl! Oh, I was happy.
They brought the baby to show me. She had white bumps
on the nose and her cheeks were so chubby.
They did another episiotomy. This time the doctor
didnt do it. She told the nurse to. She said, She has a
light hand and makes a small cut. First she was telling me

C h a p t e r 6 174
to push, but then she said I would tear. The head was big
when she saw it. And she told me to stop pushing so the
nurse could do that. She just snipped once. It hardly hurt.
The baby immediately flew out. Back then they didnt give
any anesthesia. They just cut you.
Bonnie

Our first daughter I had naturally. I didnt know that
there was any other way. Some of my friends had told me,
Oh, what about an epidural? But I had a midwife and
they are anti-epidural, they want to do everything as
natural as possible. It was really painful to have it natural.
I went two weeks over the due date. My mucus plug
had come out, and I called and reported that I was
spotting a little bit. So they had me admitted to the
hospital and they popped the water and they had me walk
around. Nothing happened. No contractions, nothing. Two
hours later they decided it was time to go ahead and
induce me.
So they did, and I started feeling labor pains for the
first time. They started about 1:00 in the afternoon and
then I had the baby about 10:00 at night. They started
coming harder, faster and I felt everything.
I was saying things I didnt think Id say. In the
childbirth classes, when you watch the movie, you hear
the women that are in actual labor saying things like, I
dont want to do this anymore. At the time, I thought, How
silly. Of course they have to do it. Theres no way out. And
then I found myself saying the same things: I dont want to
do this anymore. This hurts! When is the pain going to go
away? When is the baby going to come?
I remember her saying to me, Dont wrinkle your
forehead. You need to relax, and when you do that its
going to tense you up. The pain was terrible.
I had a nice birthing room; it looked like a regular
room. The majority of the time I was just sitting in a chair.

The room was designed to make you comfortable. It was
the only one they had, so I was lucky to get it because I
was in there earlier than anybody else that day.
I just sat there the entire time in pain and then when I
started to feel the baby actually come, it felt like I was
going to have a bowel movement, similar to that. I kept
telling her, I have to go to the bathroom. This was the
first time, so I didnt know the head was trying to come
out. And she said, Oh, youre probably ready to deliver.
So I went to the bed and they checked me for dilation,
and sure enough they could see her head. They didnt
realize that I was so far into labor.
I felt really nauseous, and twice I threw up. No one
had told me that was perfectly normal. Id feel so
embarrassed. I remember apologizing over and over to
them, and they were laughing saying, Its okay. It
happens. Its normal!
When you have a baby naturally, it just hurts so
much that after awhile you become numb to the pain. The
baby was so big and towards the end she came so fast,
that I just ripped. I didnt even feel myself rip.
The midwife informed me that I had ripped and she
was going to give me a shot because she had to sew me
up. At that point I was just so tired from the whole day and
Id already had so much pain, I didnt possibly think I could
take anymore. The baby was out, and I said, No, please
dont put me through this pain. Dont do this to me! And I
remember crying. I didnt cry the entire time that I was in
labor, although it hurt really bad.
So I sat there, and I didnt feel anything. I didnt even
know when it was over. She told me, Youre all done.
Youve already been sewed up. But I didnt know
because I was so numb from everything else.
I was sore probably about a week, but the first couple
of days were the worst. Every time I had a contraction, Id
push on the chair. I didnt realize how hard I was pushing.
I was really sore for a couple of days from my arms
pushing against the chair. I remember trying to eat and my

C h a p t e r 6 176
arm being too weak to put the spoon to my mouth. I
couldnt hold the baby because I was so sore.
I had our first son in Utah, so I was able to have the
epidural. They told me about 90% of the births here are
done with an epidural and its perfectly safe. At first I was
hesitant because the doctors in California had talked
against it, saying that it was not a good thing. And so I still
insisted that I was going to have it naturally until the very
last month when I got diarrhea. I can compare that kind of
pain to contractions. And I remember saying, Im going to
try the epidural. Because if this is just a taste of what labor
is going to be like, then I think Id rather try the epidural if
its as safe as they say.
Because Id had back surgery and I have scar tissue,
I could feel it a little bit on one side, but it wasnt anything
compared to having it natural. It was similar to menstrual
cramps. It didnt bother me at all. The only disadvantage
of the epidural is that youre numb. It depends on how
much medication they give you. With our first son they
gave me too much. I could hear myself grunt, so I knew
that I was pushing, but I couldnt feel anything and it
bothered me. Now I always tell them to kind of slim down
towards the end so that Im able to push and feel it.
Sometimes I kind of wish that I would have done it
naturally because even though it hurts, you just forget
about it. But then again, you feel so good from the
epidural because youre not in pain. If I wanted to take a
nap during the time that I was in labor, I could take a nap.
I wasnt able to enjoy our first daughter as much as the
others. With her, I was so tired and so sore. With them, I
was completely alert, and I was able to enjoy them right
away. I wasnt tired at all. Karen S.

I had a C-section with my second child. It was the
most awful thing that could ever happen! I wouldnt numb,
so I had a few epidurals, and finally a spinal block.
Afterwards was a nightmare. I was put on pain

medication. By the third day it had done nothing to relieve
me, but I was very spaced out. I told everyone that came
to visit that I hadnt seen my husband. The next day we
were getting a divorce, and we even were on a trip to
Alaska. I was very much out of my head!
Make sure that when your doctor puts you on
something, he follows through to see the reaction. If not
for my husbands concern for my off-the-wall behavior,
who knows how bad of a trip I would have been on!
The third labor was by far my easiest. After that child
was born I was the one making the phone calls to
announce the exciting news. Thats how good I felt! The
epidural took well and it was only five hours from start to
finish. A birth as good as that one gave us hope that
maybe we would try again. Stefanie

I had a woman doctor and a midwife. I gave birth at
home. I didnt like hospitals. The delivery was completely
natural. My pains started at five oclock in the afternoon
and at 9:30 our first daughter was born.
The pains were horrible. I was howling with pain. Its
very embarrassing, but what could I do? My father and my
grandmother cried. They went into the hall so they
couldnt hear me screaming.
The baby was big and I ripped, and she had to sew
me up without pain killers, without anything. The pains
were so terrible the whole time that I didnt scream then. I
said never again would the thought enter my mind to have
even one more child...And after one year, our second
daughter was born!
Our second son was born at night, without a doctor.
Only the midwife made it, barely. I had him in our house
by candlelight. There were no lights, no electricity, no
nothing. My maid had to run to the midwifes house to call
her. As soon as she came in she had to hurry and catch
the baby. I had almost delivered alone. She washed the
baby, put him next to me, and it was over. Branka

C h a p t e r 6 178
I was living in Hong Kong on a different island, which
didnt have a hospital. To get to the hospital I had to take
a 35-minute ferry ride and then another 25- or 30-minute
taxi ride up to the hospital. So I was a little concerned
about delivering the baby on the ferry or in the taxi or
something.
I was about four days overdue with our daughter and
the doctor wanted to go golfing on a two-day golfing trip
up to China, so he really encouraged me to be induced.
He had examined me and I was already dilated to about
three centimeters. So I checked in the next morning.
He was supposed to be there at 10:00 in the
morning, but he got held up and didnt get there until
about 2:00 in the afternoon. He broke my water and
thought that would get labor started. He gave me an hour
after he broke my water, before he would induce labor
with Pitocin. I was walking around the halls trying to get
labor going because I didnt want him to stick the Pitocin
in me. He came back, and I wasnt having any serious
contractions so he set the Pitocin.
It was in a Chinese hospital and the nurses didnt
speak a lot of English and they didnt seem very
sympathetic. The head nurse was Italian, and she spoke
English. But the communication wasnt very good. I
couldnt talk to them very well. If I wanted something, I
would have to have my husband go find the head nurse.
She didnt normally make the rounds.
As soon as the drug went in it started hurting and I
was really nauseous. I thought she did something wrong
because all of a sudden I started having contractions and
they really hurt. It was my first baby and I hadnt expected
them to be that hard. I was moaning ow, ow, ow, ow,
hoping that she would hear me and think that she was
doing something wrong, but she wasnt very sympathetic.
And after about an hour and a half of that I said I wanted
an epidural. So they gave me one and overall it went
pretty quick. It only took five and a half hours from the
time they started me to the time the baby was born. But

because I had an epidural I didnt feel the urge to push at
all. They had to tell me when to push. I remember
thinking, Theres no way this babys going to fit out there! I
could feel how big her head was, trying to push it out.
I think that the doctor thought there was a problem,
but he didnt tell me about it. He gave me 45 minutes to
push it out, then he was going to go in and pull it out with
forceps. And I didnt want that, but I was so sick at the
time that every time I would push, I would throw up
afterwards. And I dont think I was pushing very strong. So
after awhile he just cut me open and pulled her out with
the forceps. He cut her cheek, which he later denied
doing. But she was okay.
When she came out it was amazing. It was really
neat, how they take the baby and put her on your chest.
With the first one, you just cant believe that it really
happened and that this baby came out of you. My
husband was real excited. I didnt want them to take her
away to clean her up or anything, but she was really blue
and she was having a hard time breathing right at first so
they didnt let me have her for very long.
I felt pretty good, I just had a hard time sitting down
because theyd cut me up so much to get her out. I
couldnt sit down for about a month without one of those
floaty things, the rings or whatever [donut pillow]. The
epidural worked perfect. During transition I was laying
there taking a nap. I couldnt feel a thing. And yet at the
same time I could wiggle my toes and move my legs. I
thought that the epidural paralyzed you and I was very
hesitant to use it, but I was in so much pain that I didnt
care when I asked for it. And it worked great for me.
But at the same time, when I had our first son, I didnt
have an epidural, and I think overall it was a better
experience. The pain certainly was a lot more without the
epidural, but I was glad I didnt have it. I thought it was
better for the baby. So even though Id had an epidural
and it worked good, I wasnt happy with it because I was
unable to push very well. We had to use forceps, and they

C h a p t e r 6 180
scratched her face up and it took a lot longer for me to
recover.
With our first son, I had a normal doctor appointment
that was a few days after my due date. He examined me
and found that I was three centimeters dilated. I was
having real small contractions across my stomach that
didnt hurt. He recom-mended I check into the hospital the
next day because again there was the problem of making
it in time. It would take more than an hour to get there. It
wasnt a Chinese hospital this time. It was a British
hospital, and the midwives there were really supportive.
Instead of using the Pitocin, they recommended
inserting a hormone tablet into my vagina that night. If you
were very close to labor, that would tend to get things
started. During the night I was having regular contractions
and I thought they were painful, but they werent really
effective.
They inserted another tablet about six oclock in the
morning and I started having more regular contractions,
about five minutes apart. I was still at about three cm,
though. So at 10:00 in the morning, the doctor broke my
water and then he left. As soon as he broke the water I
was having regular contractions that were more painful
and they were more effective. I ended up having the baby
an hour and a half later. And the doctor didnt make it
back in time.
After about 30 or 40 minutes I kept telling the
midwife, I think I need an epidural, it really hurts. I dont
want to do this anymore. I had told her when I checked in
the night before that I didnt want an epidural and that if I
started talking about an epidural I wanted her to try to talk
me out of it. And so she would tell me, Okay, honey, I
called the doctor. The doctors coming to give you an
epidural, but itll take a few minutes to get up the hill, just
hang on. She had never called the doctor. She was just
stalling me.
I was dilated to about eight cm, and in the back of my
mind I knew that they dont give epidurals when youre

that far along, but I wasnt thinking very clearly. I was just
hanging on to the hope that there was a doctor coming to
give me some relief, because I knew that it hurt so bad at
eight and then transition is worse. I wouldve given
anything to get out of the pain. It hurt worse than I ever
remembered or imagined.
I was still asking for an epidural even when I was
pushing the baby out!
The midwife could tell that I just needed to know that there
was a doctor there even though I knew at that point they
wouldnt give it to me, so she went out in the hall and got
some person that was walking by to come in and she said,
Okay, heres the doctor, we can give you an epidural
now. This lady was in street clothes, and didnt even look
like a doctor. I think she was just visiting somebody in the
hospital and the midwife dragged her in there. About five
minutes later, we had pushed him out and the obstetrician
walked in the door.
When I was pushing him out, I would scream with
every push because it hurt so bad. Everybody in the
hospital could hear me screaming. The nurses sometimes
would tell me that instead of screaming I should take that
energy and put it into the pushing. But it was really hard
not to scream.
And my husband said that he felt closer to me and
closer to the baby because he saw what I was going
through to deliver that baby. It made it a more moving
experience for him. Even as I was screaming, I thought
that he would be embarrassed or hed say Well, you
didnt have to scream quite so loudly or something like
that. Make a joke out of it. But he was really good about it.
The whole time I was pregnant I kind of thought in my
heart that it was a boy, but at the same time I wanted one
so bad I didnt want to get my hopes up, so I never let
myself believe it was really a boy. And I didnt realize how
much I wanted a boy until he was delivered and I was so
happy, I was so excited. He was big, and he was healthy,
and he was crying. He was a lot more loud and obnoxious

C h a p t e r 6 182
than our daughter had been and I thought that part of that
was because I didnt have an epidural.
After he was born I looked at that ladyI still thought
she was the anesthesiologistand I said, Youre not going
to charge me for this, are you? They just laughed and the
midwife winked at my husband. They all knew what was
going on except for me. She never told him, but he knew
that she was just stalling because I had asked her to do
that before I was in pain. And I kind of suspected it, but I
was in so much pain that the only thing that would keep
me going was the hope that the epidural was coming
because I knew it had worked so well with our daughter. I
just wanted it right then.
I did rip that time. They didnt cut me like the other
doctor did. But I think the tear was a lot smaller than I had
been cut with the forceps because I felt fine the next day
and I was able to sit down and I recovered much faster
from the second delivery than I had with the first one.
Two days later I felt fine. I would definitely try and do
it natural next time. I want the option to have an epidural,
but I would really like to try not to have one. I think overall
compared to a lot of other women, I had an easy delivery
because it was much shorter. I was really only in intense
pain for just over an hour. I hear of stories about women
in labor for fourteen hours, and I cant imagine, I really
cant.
As soon as they broke my water and the contractions
started coming for real, I remembered the pain with our
daughter before I had the epidural, and I thought, its so
unpleasant and so painful, how did I get myself into this
again? But now that its over, I feel like I can do it again.
Its worth it, definitely. I want another baby. Sandi

I was having false labor with our son for two weeks. It
would last for a couple of hours. I would get to where I
would be having contractions five minutes apart and then
theyd stop. It was frustrating. My doctor finally sent me in

to the hospital to get induced.
After three or four hours on Pitocin, the doctor came
in and broke my water. About fifteen minutes after that I
had an epidural. It went from not very fun to unbearable. It
seems that your contractions just go hard and fast
immediately after they break your water. I had maybe a
ten second break in between contractions and they were
really bad.
They gave me an epidural and it didnt work all the
way. The anesthesiologist came back in to give me
another dose to see if she could fix it, but it made my legs
so numb that I couldnt move them. So I would be wanting
to shift my weight while I was having a contraction, but
then my legs would fall off the bed and I couldnt get them
back up! It was a big joke because Id say to my mom or
my husband, Can you pick up my leg?
My labor was twenty hours from the time they started
me, so I had an epidural for sixteen hours, which in my
opinion was too long to have an epidural. I got to ten, and
the nurse had me pushing for two hours before the doctor
even got there. And I wasnt making very much progress
at all. I just couldnt get him out. I pushed for another hour
with my doctor helping me.
Then he had to use this machine to get the baby out.
I dont know what its called, but its a vacuum machine, a
suction cup kind of thing that they attach to the babys
head. It worked! They put the baby right up on me after he
was born.
I had an episiotomy, a big one because he had a
really big head and was ten pounds. I didnt tear. They did
a really good job. The intern that was there did my
episiotomy. It took him a half hour to sew it up.
Our daughter was eight pounds, five ounces, and
that delivery was a piece of cake. It was almost textbook. I
had false labor with her, but only for about four days. I
was due on the tenth. On the sixth in the evening, I lost
my mucus plug. That night I started having contractions
that were pretty steady and light. About midnight they

C h a p t e r 6 184
were about five minutes apart so we went to the hospital.
I was only at a two and 60% effaced. But I was
having contractions. So they had me walk. By the time I
walked for two to three hours, I was finally at a three. I
was going really slow. My contractions were getting hard,
and they gave me an epidural when I was almost at a five.
I had done three hours of hard labor and I was tired of it. I
always go through this battle when Im trying to decide
whether I want an epidural. I feel like Im wimping out. My
nurse with our daughter said, Hey, you dont get any
Brownie points for pain. If you want this, do it. So I said,
Give it to me!
It took perfect, and the only way I knew I was having
a contraction was to look at the monitor. I didnt even feel
pressure. The only problem was that it did slow me down.
After a few hours, they put me on Pit. I only had an
epidural for five hours this time, so it was only one dose
instead of the three that I had before.
I threw up during my labor with my girl. I threw up
before and while I had my epidural. When Id have a real
hard contraction, it would hit my body and I would throw
up. I didnt even know I was having a contraction, but my
body knew. And even though it didnt hurt, it would make
me throw up. I threw up even when I was pushing. That
was awful. They just gave me a nemesis basin and Id
lean over and throw up in it. My husband worked that end
of it. Hes really, really good in labor and delivery, always.
I pushed for an hour just to get her to crown. That
was the hardest part of her delivery, because I had to
push really hard and I wouldnt make very much progress.
And then she came right out. In fact, my doctor was like,
Dont push! Dont push! The contraction actually pushed
her out. And I didnt even have to have an episiotomy. I
had a little tiny superficial tear on the very first layer, and
that was it. She had meconium staining, so right when she
was born, they took her to suction her out, then they
brought her back in to me.
My mom was there while I was going through the

labor end of it with my first one. When I went to the
hospital, my mom and dad both came and they were in
the room with me until I started to push. And then they
went out of the room. It was really hard for her to see her
own child going through something like that, and she said
she didnt want to be there next time. And I didnt really
want her in there for the delivery. Im not into that public
kind of thing. I dont like a lot of people in there. I know
women who have half their family watch the delivery, but
Im not into that. My nurse and my husband and my doctor
is enough. Angela

Ive always had an epidural. I love them. Im sorry, but
Im one of those thats a boob for pain. I love epidurals. I
am not one who feels a great deal of pain with labor
because they always induce me and give me an epidural.
Diane

My water broke with the first one and the last one. Its
a funny sensation. You feel like youre wetting your pants.
Our first came breech. He came feet first. Heres this little
blue baby theyre holding and I wondered if he would ever
cry. Finally he did, and all was well.
With the first two, they gave me gas. It was like ether;
they put a little mask on your face. It kind of deadens your
senses. Its not good for the baby. Obviously it wasnt
terrific, but that was what they used back then. With the
third, I had a paracervical block; thats where they deaden
you slightly inside so you dont feel the pain. It was not a
good one. I felt every pain. The next four I had with
nothing. They wait until youre dilated to seven, and when
Im to seven Im just about ready to deliver. By the time
they get there with the anesthesia, they cant do anything.
I had never had an enema with any births. With my
fifth birth, they gave me one. They said, Now hold it as
long as you can, as I ran across the hall. The minute they

C h a p t e r 6 186
gave it to me I had to run over to the bathroom, leaving
this little trail behind. They gave me the enema, and my
body went into immediate labor. As soon as one pain
would stop, the next one would start. The baby was going
into stress because the pains were going so fast. I said,
Youd better get the doctor here because I feel Im having
bearing down pains now.
So they took me to the delivery room and the doctor
broke my water. The cord was in the birth canal, right next
to the membrane, and it just came out with the amniotic
fluid. And he said, You have one pain to have this baby
or hes going to be stillborn! I started to push and I didnt
stop pushing until he was born. He was born that pain.
When the head hits the birth canal, its going to shut off
the blood, the oxygen. Youve got to get that baby out.
I had the next two at home with the midwives. My
midwife would come and check me through the entire
pregnancy. She lived about 30 miles away. The first time,
they came in, poured antiseptic on their hands, and
caught the baby. That was the fastest baby. I had him in
an hour and a half. When I had the next one, I was in
labor four hours. They broke my water, and a gush of
amniotic fluid pushed her on out. She went splat right on
the bed. They could not catch her, as fast as she came
out. If Id been strapped in like they used to do, she would
have been on the floor. I had to have four stitches without
anesthetic, and that was very painful. They just put ice on
it.
I had some terrific insurance when I had the last one.
I thought my body had shut down, that my pregnancies
were done. That was a very tough pregnancy. They gave
me an epidural, but it was a bad one. It did not numb me. I
saw no advantage in them. Yet a lot of people I worked
with would say, Oh, I loved my epidural, thats the only
way to have a baby. Not me. Cheryl

Our first son was a double footling breech, so he was
an emergency C-section. I had started spotting, and so I
went in and they checked me and said that I was dilated
to one and the head was down and everything looked
fine. They were going to just send me home, but I could
feel this thing up here that was way too high, so the
doctor said we better do an ultrasound. Sure enough,
what they had felt down there was one of his heels. He
was just standing right on my cervix with both feet. So we
sped home and grabbed my clothes and sped back up
there and they got me right in and did a C-section.
It was wonderful. I was 18, my husband was 19. He
had been on the road for the last four months of my
pregnancy, and he had been working with this kid from
Texas that had told him horror stories. He called me about
two months before I went into labor and said, I just hope
you dont have to have a C-section because I dont think I
can go in with you if you do. This kid had told him in his
southern accent, this big deep southern drawl, They
pulled her guts out and set em right on her chest! There
was blood everywhere! He was going on and on...
I called him the night before and said, Okay, Im
starting to spot, I think Im going into labor, maybe youd
better come home. He was in Montana and he drove all
night long and met me at the doctors. When we got in
there, and they said we were going to have to do an
emergency C-section, my husband almost passed out.
They got him all dressed in the little white mushroom cap
and the white overalls to go in with me, and his face was
just as white as the outfit.
I was really calm and relaxed. They had my arms
strapped down and then they had the curtain up so I
couldnt see anything. My husband was sitting there
watching the whole thing, and he had my headI thought I
was going to be bald or have a concussionhe was
rubbing my head, and patting me on the head saying, Are
you okay, are you okay? He was so nervous.
They hadnt made the incision big enough, and our

C h a p t e r 6 188
sons head was really big and it was stuck in the incision. I
couldnt feel the pain or anything, but I could feel my back
coming up off the table a little bit. I was more afraid of the
epidural than I was the C-section. I would almost rather
have had them give me a general or even a local than that
epidural because I had read about them and I was so
scared of the thought of having that little tube in there.
But it was great, I never had a problem with it. I had
him at 6:00 that night, and by 9:00 I was standing by the
side of my bed. By the next morning, I was walking
around.
About four weeks before my due date with our
daughter, I was dilated to about two for two weeks, and
then I was dilated to three for a week, and then I was
dilated to four and I just wasnt going into labor. I was
dilating and I was 100% effaced, but I wasnt in labor. I
wasnt having contractions or anything so they went
ahead and started me. With our second son, I did the
same thing. Then I realized that I actually was having
contractions, but I just didnt know it.
I went to our first sons soccer game. I had been
really sick that day and just feeling a lot of back pain and
pressure. It felt like bowel pressure. I was just sitting there
in a lot of steady pain. And a friend who is a nurse said
that maybe we should go to the hospital and she would
check me. I was dilated to seven, and she said maybe I
should stay! And within just over two hours I had him. It
was just all in my back, and I had no idea.
Kim

With my first one, I started in labor about six one
night and the doctor got there about nine and then he laid
down on the couch and slept all night while I was in labor,
to be there when I was ready to deliver. The doctors I had
stayed all night and waited for the delivery. They didnt
charge much then, eitheronly $25.
When our third son was born, the afterbirth had

grown to my uterus. The doctor said, Ive got to get your
afterbirth, it wont come. I dont know how he did it, but
they put me out again and as I came to, I remember
seeing his arm and it was just bloody clear to the elbow.
Then he told me to lie on my stomach until morning. This
was at one in the morning, and I laid there until six when
the nurse came and let me turn over. But I thought my
back would break.
They always used anesthesia. They put a little bit on
the cloth on the mask and put it over my nose. When the
pains would get real hard, theyd give me a little sniff to
just kind of ease it off. They couldnt give too much
because youd stop labor. Youre in so much pain and
turmoil, and you think, Oh, just let me out of this. Let me
get out of it! I really suffered. Ive heard people say that a
mother goes to deaths door to have a baby, and they
certainly used to. Olivia

My first daughter was born when I was 23. The birth
wasnt what I had anticipated. My labor went very quickly.
Because she was breech, an emergency C-section was
done. My doctor said I would most likely have to have the
rest of my children by C-section, and I shouldnt have
more than three or four children.
After a divorce, I remarried. Seven years had gone by
since the birth of my daughter when I had my first son. My
doctor wanted to do a C-section, but I told him no. We
decided we would try a natural birth. We had no medical
insurance and I wanted to go as natural as possible. The
medical professionals tried hard to put IVs in and get me
to have an epidural. I refused both. The birth was scary
because I had never delivered that way, but all in all it
went pretty well.
Our third son was premature and breech. I had a C-
section with a spinal block. During the beginning of the
medication my chest felt as though there was a log laying
on top of me, pushing every breath out of me. They finally

C h a p t e r 6 190
gave me oxygen. The next day I had an air bubble that
went from my chest to my shoulder. The pain was so
intense. But that didnt even compare to the cut that was
about six inches long. I had an IV drip of morphine for
that. I dont like drugs and I didnt want to use the
morphine, but I did because it hurt so bad.
It was lonely in my room because my son was in the
Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. I didnt even get to hold him.
I barely saw him the night he was born. He was in the unit
for nine days.
I had a midwife with the last four deliveries. The birth
of our second daughter was an amazing experience. I
talked to my midwife about what we could do so I would
not break my tailbone, which I had done twice with my
other births. She suggested a water birth. So I got some
information, watched a video, read some books and
decided, what a way to go!
My contractions started at 4 a.m. and at 6 my water
broke. My husband filled the tub. Actually it was a big
rubber water trough for animals! The midwife had brought
it over a few weeks before. The water was warm. It was
dark outside, peaceful and quiet. My midwife and her
assistant came and I was feeling good and under control.
She checked me and she could feel the babys head. I
had crowned. I had a pushing contraction and her fuzzy
head came; then another and she was here! My husband
was behind me holding me and hugging me. It was so
great. I was in the water through it all. The pain just didnt
feel as intense as before. It was very relaxing and natural,
no rushing and running, no bright light. The sun came up
and the day was warm and beautiful. The baby was
sweet. Her brothers and sister woke up and got to hold
her. It was such a tender moment.
My next daughter came a couple of years later. I
barely had any early labor with that pregnancy. We made
it to full term once again. She was born in the wee hours
of the morning. I had had contractions all the way home
from Thanksgiving dinner with family an hour away. My

husband was nervous and he didnt dare leave me. My
midwife arrived and checked me. I was at a seven. My
labor took a little longer this time, about four hours.
The water birth was wonderful once again. The pain
gets unbearable and I get in the tub and it just relaxes me
and I can handle the contractions with much more control
and less stress and fear. The water comes up to my
chest, so almost all of me is covered. I wear a large
maternity shirt that is comfortable. My midwife puts green
soap in the water. It is an antibacterial soap and it makes
the water a little cloudy so you cant really see much. It
makes me feel more discreet. Cyndee, my midwife, will do
an internal to check how far dilated I am. She just reaches
into the water and I lift up off the bottom of the tub for her
to check.
I deliver the baby right in the tub. The baby is in
amniotic fluid inside of me, so when its born into the
water, it is not going to harm the baby. As soon as the
whole body is out, Cyndee lifts the baby out of the water,
suctions out the mucus, and waits for the baby to breathe
on its own. She then wraps the baby in a heated towel
and hands her to me. I get to cuddle with the baby for
several minutes while my husband clamps the umbilical
cord and cuts it. Daddy holds her while Cyndee checks to
see if I am having my contractions to push for the
placenta, and I do it in the tub. After that I get out and
wrap up in a nice warm blanket and lay on the couch
holding the baby.
Later, after I am not so exhausted I take a shower
and go to bed with the baby and my husband. We take a
nice nap while the midwife and her assistants clean
everything up and wash the laundry. They will stay all day
to continue to check my vitals and the baby, etc. I have
family and friends that come and take my children for the
day after they have had time with the new baby. Everyone
gets to hug and cuddle with the baby.
We had one more baby almost two years later. This
time my husband was working out of town all week and

C h a p t e r 6 192
coming home on the weekends. I did slack off a bit and
stressed more having him gone. I had contractions, but
my husband wasnt home so I put them off with my catnip
tea, mineral water, B
12
, and B
6
. It worked greattoo great
because then when he was here on the weekend they
would stop. The due date came and went and still no
baby. She wasnt ready. On the third day past my due
date, she was still having some second thoughts. But I
was ready. My midwife came over and we walked, we
talked, we did different things to get labor started. The
contractions would come hard, Id get in the tub and they
would stop. I got out and walked.
I had a house full: four midwives, my oldest daughter,
my husband, and my 19-month-old girl. We were pretty
excited, but nothing went right in the tub this time. I
walked and walked. The time came when I sat on a hard
chair and there was no stopping it. I used a birthing stool
this time. It was very difficult for me to get control and
relax. I had one long contraction and I couldnt stop; I just
kept pushing. It seemed to take forever. But it was finally
over, and then I started to hemorrhage. My midwife was
worried, but we got it under control with a few prayers and
a good lady who knew what she was doing. No drugs, no
hospital stay, and I was good. I had about three weeks of
bed rest after that one. I had great friends and neighbors
who helped with the children and meals for the family. My
baby girl is the joy of joys. Stepheni

When I went into labor, it actually started with a
backache that wouldnt go away. It was three days before
my due date. So I just stayed up. I was doing needlepoint
that night and went to bed around 11 oclock and then at
11:30 the first labor pain hit and I knew it. I didnt have any
little precursor labor pains. They were pretty big from the
very start.
They were in my lower back, too, and so they were
not comfortable. It was after about the third labor pain that

I decided I was for sure going to have an epidural. Before
that Id thought Oh, maybe Ill try it natural, well see.
I was not comfortable laying in bed, so I came out on
the couch. Around 4 oclock my husband finally woke up
and noticed that I wasnt in the bed. He came out and
started timing the contractions, and they were about 5-7
minutes apart. They were varying. We decided to start
getting things ready to go to the hospital.
When we got there and checked in, I told them I
wanted an epidural. They set me up in the hospital room
and I was waiting impatiently for the epidural, which finally
came at 7:30. And when that came, it was just heaven. I
took a nap and relaxed and rested, and didnt feel
anything from then on out except for a little bit of
pressure.
My doctor was out of town, so one of the doctors in
his group was going to fill in for him. When I was about 5-
6 centimeters dilated they came up and broke my water,
and Im not sure if I liked that they did that or not. The
labor was progressing just fine, but I got the feeling the
doctor was in a hurry. What bothered me was just that I
felt a little manipulated. The least they could have done
was ask me. But when youre in labor you dont think to
resist. It really needs to be your husband or coachs role
to offer things like that, and he just kind of sat around in
the background.
Then when I was all dilated and ready to go by about
10:30, they made me rest for an hour. And I thought,
Why? So I rested for an hour and then pushed three times
and our son came out. He came out very fast. He was
born at 11:30, so it was almost exactly a 12-hour labor.
They gave me an episiotomy first, without asking me.
I wish hed at least said, We need to do an episiotomy
because it looks like youre going to tear. It kind of makes
you feel controlled. That was the one thing I did feel was
the episiotomy and the stitching up after that. They didnt
give me a lcoal. I felt those stitches. I didnt feel them
really bad, but I felt them. Sharon

C h a p t e r 6 194
With the first one, we were still in the era of ether.
They didnt start giving me that until they were trying to
hold the birth back, to slow me down a little bit. They gave
me too much anesthesia. I actually felt myself go up in the
air, and I was looking down. I remember the table, and the
people in the green hospital gowns. And I thought, Whoa!
Whats this?! And then the next thing I knew, they were
slapping my face and saying, Breathe! Come on, come
on, breathe! And I thought, Im breathing, what are you
slapping me for??! I think they probably gave me just a
little bit too much, and my old spirit just slipped out.
Louise

My last doctor visit (as it happened to be) was exactly
one week before my due date. My doctor performed an
internal exam and determined that I was dilated 2
centimeters, and 80% effaced. I was definitely on my way
to having this baby. My doctor told me I would probably go
into labor within a week, but (kiddingly) not to have the
baby on the weekend since she would not be on call. I
thought I surely wouldnt have the baby until the first week
of August, and certainly not until after my mom arrived
that weekend. Ha! Our son was born on Sunday, with a
doctor Id never met before, and only minutes before my
mom arrived!
The evening before I went into labor we ate steak for
dinner (we laughed thinking this wasnt the best thing for
me to be eating so late in my pregnancy). We went to bed
at about 11:00 p.m. I woke up at 3:00 a.m. thinking I had
indigestion. I got up and went to the bathroom and then
back to bed. When I still didnt feel good, I woke my
husband and told him I had indigestion. He wasnt
concerned, so I tried to go back to sleep.
When the cramping pains wouldnt let me sleep, I got
suspicious and started to time them. They came every 8-
15 minutes. So, I woke my husband again and we started
to time them together. Sometimes the pain was

unbearable and sometimes it was not bad at all. My
contractions never got consistent.
My doctor had said to call her office when the
contractions were 10 minutes apart (that is what they said
in childbirth class too). Well, mine were coming anywhere
from 3 minutes to 20 minutes apart. We wondered during
those early morning hours if I was really in labor. I
remember my husband asking Do you think you are in
labor? and my response being I dont know! It was scary
and frustratingit didnt seem to be happening like the
books described.
I tried to walk through all of my contractions at home.
That really helped. I also listened to music to help me
relax. About 9:30 a.m., when several of the contractions
were so bad that I couldnt walk through them (and they
were lasting really long), I decided it was time to think
about calling the doctor. It was Sunday so the office was
not open and I knew my doctor was not on call. When
someone called me back, I was ready with all of my
contraction informationhow far apart (they still were not
consistent) and their varying intensity, etc. She didnt ask
for any of that information but said to come on to the
hospital and get checked out.
I was worriedmaybe I wasnt in labor, and I did not
want to go and then be sent homehow embarrassing! I
took a shower, and that really helped ease several bad
contractions. Then we packed the car to go to the
hospital. My husband was nervous. I started to put some
dirty dishes into the dishwasher while he loaded the car
and he told me to go sit down, I was having a baby and I
should rest. I dont know where my mind was; I still hadnt
accepted the fact that I was going to have the baby.
When we got to the hospital we left our stuff in the
car in case they sent us home. One of the nurses said
You cant be in labor, youre smiling as we walked up to
the nurses station. They took me to the triage area for
about 30 minutes to monitor my contractions. I remember
asking Are you going to keep me? and the nurse saying

C h a p t e r 6 196
Absolutely. She told me I was about 4 cm dilated.
I then walked down the hall to the waiting room in my
hospital gown to tell my husband that we were staying. I
couldnt believe it. I met the nurse and tech that would be
taking care of me. They were really nice. One of my fears
was that Id have a mean nurse. The tech shaved me and
gave me an enema. I didnt have a choice about that, but
after that steak dinner... As soon as I had the enema, my
contractions got much worse. I couldnt walk through the
contractions because they needed to monitor me for
awhile. I started to feel sick.
Then, the babys heart rate decreased dramatically (I
didnt know it at the time), and the doctor reached in and
jiggled him, put an internal monitor on him and broke my
water in the process. The doctor then explained what had
happened and that everything was fineheart rate was
back to normal. My husband knew what was happening,
but thankfully didnt tell me. I know that scared him a lot.
Boy, once my water was broken we were in high
gear, and I immediately started to ask for my epidural.
There was some delay with lab results, and I thought it
took forever. My anesthesiologist was great. The only
thing I didnt like was that I had to answer a thousand
questions (or so it seemed) before he would give me the
epidural. So there I am, breathing through each
contraction (which are coming every 1-2 minutes with
great intensity), trying to remember if there is a history of
high blood pressure in my family.
By the time I finally got the epidural I was truly at my
limitI do not know how women do it without drugs! Maybe
everyones pain is different? Getting the epidural was
easyit just took longer to administer than I thought it
would. I still have a very vivid memory of sitting slumped
at the edge of the bed while the doctor inserted the
catheter. That is when I experienced the most painful
contrac-tions. It got hard on my husband then, as he could
tell I was at my threshold.
I remember feeling like I wanted to throw up, but I did

not. Well, once the drugs were fed into my catheter, my
pain was not over, unfortunately. My epidural only took on
my left side, and I could still feel everything on my right
side. I recall reading about that possibility but never
thought it would happen to me. The pain was not as
intense, but I could still feel each contraction and had to
breathe through each one just as before. It took another
45 minutes, an extra dose of drugs, and lying on my right
side for me to become numb from the waist down.
I never felt the urge to push. I really couldnt feel
anything with that extra dose of drugs. It is hard to push
when you cant feel anything, but the doctor said I was
pushing great. I pushed through four contractions and our
son was born. He came out screaming and peeing on the
doctor! I barely got a glimpse of him as the doctor held
him up to me. They cleaned him up and my husband got
to hold him first, then I held him. I was overwhelmed, I
couldnt believe that I had done it! He was beautiful and
perfect. The nurse told me that not only did I have an
episiotomy, but I also tore to my rectumouch! On to
healing! Those episiotomies are nasty things. It took me a
good three weeks to feel better down there. I have a
friend whose doctor let her push for an hour to avoid an
episiotomy. Its too bad more doctors arent that patient.
I find I really enjoy talking about my pregnancy, labor
and delivery. In some ways I miss being pregnantthe
anticipation and all. I think I like to talk about labor and
delivery because I am so proud of myself for doing it! I am
very proud to be a mother. It is one of the most rewarding
jobs Ive ever had. Having a baby is truly a miraculous
experience. Marie

E p i l o g u e 198
E P I L O G U E

With your first pregnancy you just have no idea what to expect
from labor; so once youve experienced it and lived through it
you have a great sense of accomplishment, of pride, of
amazement...the miracle of it all. I am very proud to be a
mother. It is one of the most rewarding jobs Ive ever had.
Having a baby is truly a miraculous experience. Marie

I said never again would the thought enter my mind to have
even one more child... And after one year, our second daughter
was born! Branka

It was a real spiritual experience... There was a feeling in the
room that we were getting extra help. An unseen force was there
helping through the labor and delivery and everything. It was a
miracle that it all happened so smoothly. Jayne

I had a pushing contraction and her fuzzy head came; then
another and she was here! My husband was behind me holding
me and hugging me. It was so great. I was in the water through it
all... It was such a tender moment. Stepheni

Pregnancy & childbirth is the most magnificent, monumental,
and emotional phenomenon of the human experience. [It] just
causes a special euphoric feeling that can compare to nothing
else. Sandra

As soon as your delivery is over, you know its all worth it. When
you see that little baby for the first time, you actually feel a real
part of the creation and you know that you participated in this
with Heavenly Father. You feel part of the whole picture. Pat

When I was pushing, my husband could see the babys head
and all the hair. This was so exciting! I could feel the head
holding me open. Boy, did that hurt. I pushed so hard and
screamed so loud and as I did, the baby came right out. She
was put on my chest immediately and a smile came upon her
face. My precious baby girl! Marcia

E p i l o g u e 199
After only two hours of pushing, the baby arrived. I couldnt
believe it was all over. What an amazing process. I really felt
exhilerated. Ill never forget that day! Helena

I truly have a little miracle...I had such a sweet experience when
that baby was born. As the doctor handed him to me, this baby
looked right up into my eyes, and smiled. For a brief moment, it
was like his spirit was given a chance to say thank you to me,
and he did. I just really treasure that. Diane

After I have my babies, oh, Im so high, so happy. Its just a
natural high, such a good feeling. When the babys there, its all
worth it. Its so special. You just feel like you can handle
anything in the world after you deliver a baby. I know I can do it
again. If you can do it once, you can do it again. Deidre

Contributor Info

Name Age Children Name Age Children

Angela 28 2 Lana 36 2
Bonnie 65 2 Laurel 42 3
Branka 75 4 Lauri 32 2
Charmaine 62 6 Lori 39 6
Cheryl 52 8 Louise 69 13
Cleo 72 10 Marcia 36 2
Deidre 35 5 Marie 34 2
Diane 38 3 Martha 35 4
Dyanne 25 1 Olivia 79 5
Emily 40 5 Pat 62 8
Gail 36 5 Renee 34 1
Helena 28 1 Sandi 36 4
Jana 30 4 Sandra 36 2
Jayne 44 4 Sharon 30 1
JoAnn 58 2 Stefanie 30 3
June 49 3 Stepheni 40 8
Karen 41 4 Susan 49 3
Karen S. 35 5 Svetlana 64 2
Kim 29 3

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