Barack Obama: Narcissist?

2
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EDITION
Sam Vaknin
The Author is NOT a Mental Health Professional.
The Author is certified in Counselling Techniques.
Editing and esign!
Lidija Rangelovska
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*+ Barack Obama: Narcissist or ,erel# Narcissistic?
-+ Obama.s Nobel /ri0e
1+ "he Obama Riddle
Author Bio
Barack Obama: Narcissist or ,erel# Narcissistic?
@arack O)ama a''ears to )e a narcissist. Aranted+ onl( a qualified mental health
diagnostician can determine ,hether someone suffers from Narcissistic Personalit( isorder
BNPC and this+ follo,ing length( tests and 'ersonal inter*ie,s. Read the 2isclaimer belo%+
@ut+ in the a)sence of access to @arack O)ama+ one has to rel( on his o*ert 'erformance and
on testimonies )( his closest+ nearest and dearest.
Narcissistic leaders are nefarious and their effects 'ernicious. The( are su)tle+ refined+
sociall(6ade't+ mani'ulati*e+ 'ossessed of thes'ian skills+ and con*incing. @oth t('es equall(
lack em'ath( and are ruthless and relentless or dri*en.
Perha's it is time to require each candidate to high office in the ;SA to su)mit to a rigorous
'h(sical and mental checku' ,ith the results made 'u)lic.
3+ 4$bringing and 'hildhood
O)amaDs earl( life ,as decidedl( chaotic and re'lete ,ith traumatic and mentall( )ruising
dislocations. Mi?ed6race marriages ,ere e*en less common then. His 'arents ,ent through
a di*orce ,hen he ,as an infant Bt,o (ears oldC. O)ama sa, his father onl( once again+
)efore he died in a car accident. Then+ his mother re6married and O)ama had to relocate to
2ndonesia! a foreign land ,ith a radicall( foreign culture+ to )e raised )( a ste'6father. At the
age of ten+ he ,as ,hisked off to li*e ,ith his maternal B,hiteC grand'arents. He sa, his
mother onl( intermittentl( in the follo,ing fe, (ears and then she *anished from his life in
%EFE. She died of cancer in %EEG.
Pathological narcissism is a reaction to 'rolonged a)use and trauma in earl( childhood or
earl( adolescence. The source of the a)use or trauma is immaterial! the 'er'etrators could )e
d(sfunctional or a)sent 'arents+ teachers+ other adults+ or 'eers.
33+ Behavior /atterns
The narcissist!
/eels grandiose and self6im'ortant Be.g.+ e?aggerates accom'lishments+ talents+ skills,
contacts, and personality traits to the point of lying5 demands to )e recognised as
su'erior ,ithout commensurate achie*ementsCH
2s obsessed ,ith fantasies of unlimited success+ fame, fearsome 'o,er or
omnipotence+ unequalled )rilliance (the cerebral narcissist)+ bodily )eaut( or sexual
performance (the somatic narcissist)+ or ideal+ everlasting, all-conquering lo*e or
passionH
/irml( con*inced that he or she is unique and+ )eing s'ecial+ can onl( )e understood
)(+ should only be treated by+ or associate ,ith+ other s'ecial or unique+ or high6status
'eo'le Bor institutionsCH
0equires e?cessi*e admiration+ adulation, attention and affirmation or, failing
that, wishes to be feared and to be notorious (Narcissistic upply)H
/eels entitled. !emands automatic and full compliance ,ith his or her unreasona)le
e?'ectations for s'ecial and favourable priority treatmentH
2s Iinter'ersonall( e?'loitati*eI+ i.e.+ uses others to achie*e his or her o,n endsH
!evoid of em'ath(. 2s unable or un,illing to identif( ,ith+ acknowledge, or accept
the feelings+ needs+ preferences, priorities, and choices of othersH
Constantl( en*ious of others and seeks to hurt or destroy the ob"ects of his or her
frustration# uffers from persecutory (paranoid) delusions as he or she )elie*es that
the( feel the same a)out him or her and are likely to act similarlyH
@eha*es arrogantl( and haughtil(. $eels superior, omnipotent, omniscient,
invincible, immune, %above the law%, and omnipresent (magical thinking). &ages
when frustrated, contradicted, or confronted )( 'eo'le he or she considers inferior to
him or her and un,orth(.
Narcissism is a defense mechanism ,hose role is to deflect hurt and trauma from the *ictimDs
ITrue SelfI into a I/alse SelfI ,hich is omni'otent+ in*ulnera)le+ and omniscient. This /alse
Self is then used )( the narcissist to garner narcissistic su''l( from his human en*ironment.
Narcissistic su''l( is an( form of attention+ )oth 'ositi*e and negati*e and it is instrumental
in the regulation of the narcissistDs la)ile sense of self6,orth.
Perha's the most immediatel( e*ident trait of 'atients ,ith Narcissistic Personalit( isorder
BNPC is their *ulnera)ilit( to criticism and disagreement. Su)Ject to negati*e in'ut+ real or
imagined+ e*en to a mild re)uke+ a constructi*e suggestion+ or an offer to hel'+ the( feel
inJured+ humiliated and em't( and the( react ,ith disdain Bde*aluationC+ rage+ and defiance.
/rom m( )ook IMalignant Self6lo*e! Narcissism 0e*isitedI!
%'o avoid such intolerable pain, some patients with Narcissistic (ersonality !isorder
(N(!) socially withdraw and feign false modesty and humility to mask their underlying
grandiosity# !ysthymic and depressive disorders are common reactions to isolation and
feelings of shame and inadequacy#%
O,ing to their lack of em'ath(+ disregard for others+ e?'loitati*eness+ sense of entitlement+
and constant need for attention Bnarcissistic su''l(C+ narcissists are rarel( a)le to maintain
functional and health( inter'ersonal relationshi's.
Man( narcissists are o*er6achie*ers and am)itious. Some of them are e*en talented and
skilled. @ut the( are inca'a)le of team ,ork )ecause the( cannot tolerate set)acks. The( are
easil( frustrated and demorali7ed and are una)le to co'e ,ith disagreement and criticism.
Though some narcissists ha*e meteoric and ins'iring careers+ in the long6run+ all of them find
it difficult to maintain long6term 'rofessional achie*ements and the res'ect and a''reciation
of their 'eers. The narcissistDs fantastic grandiosit(+ frequentl( cou'led ,ith a h('omanic
mood+ is t('icall( incommensurate ,ith his or her real accom'lishments Bthe Igrandiosit(
ga'IC.
An im'ortant distinction is )et,een cere)ral and somatic narcissists. The cere)rals deri*e
their Narcissistic Su''l( from their intelligence or academic achie*ements and the somatics
deri*e their Narcissistic Su''l( from their 'h(sique+ e?ercise+ 'h(sical or se?ual 'ro,ess and
romantic or 'h(sical IconquestsI.
Another crucial di*ision ,ithin the ranks of 'atients ,ith Narcissistic Personalit( isorder
BNPC is )et,een the classic *ariet( Bthose ,ho meet fi*e of the nine diagnostic criteria
included in the SMC+ and the com'ensator( kind Btheir narcissism com'ensates for dee'6set
feelings of inferiorit( and lack of self6,orthC.
O)ama dis'la(s the follo,ing )eha*iors+ ,hich are among the hallmarks of 'athological
narcissism!
Su)tl( misre'resents facts and e?'edientl( and o''ortunisticall( shifts 'ositions+
*ie,s+ o'inions+ and IidealsI Be.g.+ a)out cam'aign finance+ re6districtingC. These fli'6
flo's do not cause him o*ert distress and are ego6s(ntonic Bhe feels Justified in acting
this ,a(C. Alternati*el(+ refuses to commit to a stand'oint and+ in the
'rocess+ e*idences a lack of em'ath(.

2gnores data that conflict ,ith his fantas( ,orld+ or ,ith his inflated and grandiose
self6image. This has to do ,ith magical thinking. O)ama alread( sees himself as
'resident )ecause he is firml( con*inced that his dreams+ thoughts+ and ,ishes affect
realit(. Additionall(+ he denies the ga' )et,een his fantasies and his modest or limited
real6life achie*ements Bfor instance+ in %# (ears of academic career+ he hasnDt
'u)lished a single scholarl( 'a'er or )ookC.

/eels that he is a)o*e the la,+ incl. and es'eciall( his o,n la,s.

Talks a)out himself in the Krd 'erson singular or uses the regal I,eI and cra*es to )e
the e?clusi*e center of attention+ e*en adulation

Has a messianic6cosmic *ision of himself and his life and his ImissionI.
Consequentl(+ sets unrealistic goals ,ithin unrealistic timeframes.

Sets e*er more com'le? rules in a con*oluted ,orld of grandiose fantasies ,ith its
o,n language BJargonC

is'la(s false modest( and unctuous IfolksinessI )ut una)le to sustain these
)eha*iors Bthe 'ersona+ or maskC for long. 2t sli's and the true O)ama is
re*ealed! haught(+ aloof+ distant+ and disdainful of sim'le folk and their li*es.

Su)limates aggression and holds grudges.

@eha*es as an eternal adolescent Be.g.+ his choice of language+ (outhful image he
'roJects+ demands indulgence and feels entitled to s'ecial treatment+ e*en though his
o)Jecti*e accom'lishments do not Justif( itC.
333+ Bod# Language
Man( com'lain of the incredi)le dece'ti*e 'o,ers of the narcissist. The( find themsel*es
in*ol*ed ,ith narcissists Bemotionall(+ in )usiness+ or other,iseC )efore the( ha*e a chance to
disco*er their true character. Shocked )( the later re*elation+ the( mourn their ina)ilit( to
se'arate from the narcissist and their gulli)ilit(.
Narcissists are an elusi*e )reed+ hard to s'ot+ harder to 'in'oint+ im'ossi)le to ca'ture. E*en
an e?'erienced mental health diagnostician ,ith unmitigated access to the record and to the
'erson e?amined ,ould find it fiendishl( difficult to determine ,ith an( degree of certaint(
,hether someone suffers from a full6fledged Narcissistic Personalit( isorder - or merel(
'ossesses narcissistic traits+ a narcissistic st(le+ a 'ersonalit( structure BIcharacterIC+ or a
narcissistic Io*erla(I su'erim'osed on another mental health 'ro)lem.
Moreo*er+ it is im'ortant to distinguish )et,een traits and )eha*ior 'atterns that are
inde'endent of the 'atientDs cultural6social conte?t Bi.e.+ ,hich are inherent+ or idios(ncraticC
- and reacti*e 'atterns+ or conformit( to cultural and social morals and norms. 0eactions to
se*ere life crises or circumstances are also often characteri7ed )( transient 'athological
narcissism+ for instance B0onningstam and Aunderson+ %EELC. @ut such reactions do not a
narcissist make.
4hen a 'erson )elongs to a societ( or culture that has often )een descri)ed as narcissistic )(
scholars Bsuch as Theodore MillonC and social thinkers Be.g.+ Christo'her 3aschC - ho, much
of his )eha*ior can )e attri)uted to his milieu and ,hich of his traits are reall( his:
The Narcissistic Personalit( isorder is rigorousl( defined in the SM 2V6T0 ,ith a set of
strict criteria and differential diagnoses.
Narcissism is regarded )( man( scholars to )e an ada'tati*e strateg( BIhealth( narcissismIC.
2t is considered 'athological in the clinical sense onl( ,hen it )ecomes a rigid 'ersonalit(
structure re'lete ,ith a series of 'rimiti*e defence mechanisms Bsuch as s'litting+ 'roJection+
'roJecti*e identification+ or intellectuali7ationC - and ,hen it leads to d(sfunctions in one or
more areas of the 'atientDs life.
Pathological narcissism is the art of dece'tion. The narcissist 'roJects a /alse Self and
manages all his social interactions through this concocted fictional construct.
4hen the narcissist re*eals his true colors+ it is usuall( far too late. His *ictims are una)le to
se'arate from him. The( are frustrated )( this acquired hel'lessness and angr( at themsel*es
for ha*ing the( failed to see through the narcissist earlier on.
@ut the narcissist does emit su)tle+ almost su)liminal+ signals BI'resenting s(m'tomsIC e*en
in a first or casual encounter. Com'are the follo,ing list to @arack O)amaDs )od( language
during his 'u)lic a''earances.
These are!
%)aughty% body language - The narcissist ado'ts a 'h(sical 'osture ,hich im'lies and
e?udes an air of su'eriorit(+ seniorit(+ hidden 'o,ers+ m(steriousness+ amused indifference+
etc. Though the narcissist usuall( maintains sustained and 'iercing e(e contact+ he often
refrains from 'h(sical 'ro?imit( Bhe is IterritorialIC.
The narcissist takes 'art in social interactions - e*en mere )anter - condescendingl(+ from a
'osition of su'remac( and fau? Imagnanimit( and largesseI. @ut he rarel( mingles sociall(
and 'refers to remain the Io)ser*erI+ or the Ilone ,olfI.
*ntitlement markers - The narcissist immediatel( asks for Is'ecial treatmentI of some kind.
Not to ,ait his turn+ to ha*e a longer or a shorter thera'eutic session+ to talk directl( to
authorit( figures Band not to their assistants or secretariesC+ to )e granted s'ecial 'a(ment
terms+ to enJo( custom tailored arrangements 6 or to get ser*ed first.
The narcissist is the one ,ho - *ocall( and demonstrati*el( - demands the undi*ided
attention of the head ,aiter in a restaurant+ or mono'oli7es the hostess+ or latches on to
cele)rities in a 'art(. The narcissist reacts ,ith rage and indignantl( ,hen denied his ,ishes
and if treated equall( ,ith others ,hom he deems inferior.
+deali,ation or devaluation - The narcissist instantl( ideali7es or de*alues his interlocutor.
This de'ends on ho, the narcissist a''raises the 'otential his con*erser has as a Narcissistic
Su''l( Source. The narcissist flatters+ adores+ admires and a''lauds the ItargetI in an
em)arrassingl( e?aggerated and 'rofuse manner - or sulks+ a)uses+ and humiliates her.
Narcissists are 'olite onl( in the 'resence of a 'otential Su''l( Source. @ut the( are una)le to
sustain e*en 'erfunctor( ci*ilit( and fast deteriorate to )ar)s and thinl(6*eiled hostilit(+ to
*er)al or other *iolent dis'la(s of a)use+ rage attacks+ or cold detachment.
'he %membership% posture - The narcissist al,a(s tries to I)elongI. Met+ at the *er( same
time+ he maintains his stance as an outsider. The narcissist seeks to )e admired for his a)ilit(
to integrate and ingratiate himself ,ithout in*esting the efforts commensurate ,ith such an
undertaking.
/or instance! if the narcissist talks to a 's(chologist+ the narcissist first states em'haticall(
that he ne*er studied 's(cholog(. He then 'roceeds to make seemingl( effortless use of
o)scure 'rofessional terms+ thus demonstrating that he mastered the disci'line all the same+
as an autodidact - ,hich 'ro*es that he is e?ce'tionall( intelligent or intros'ecti*e.
2n general+ the narcissist al,a(s 'refers sho,6off to su)stance. One of the most effecti*e
methods of e?'osing a narcissist is )( tr(ing to del*e dee'er. The narcissist is shallo,+ a 'ond
'retending to )e an ocean. He likes to think of himself as a 0enaissance man+ a 1ack of all
trades. The narcissist ne*er admits to ignorance in an( field - (et+ t('icall(+ he is ignorant of
them all. 2t is sur'risingl( eas( to 'enetrate the gloss and the *eneer of the narcissistDs self6
'roclaimed omniscience.
-ragging and false autobiography 6 The narcissist )rags incessantl(. His s'eech is 'e''ered
,ith I2I+ Im(I+ Im(selfI+ and ImineI. He descri)es himself as intelligent+ or rich+ or modest+
or intuiti*e+ or creati*e - )ut al,a(s e?cessi*el(+ im'lausi)l(+ and e?traordinaril( so.
The narcissistDs )iogra'h( sounds unusuall( rich and com'le?. His achie*ements -
incommensurate ,ith his age+ education+ or reno,n. Met+ his actual condition is e*identl( and
demonstra)l( incom'ati)le ,ith his claims. Ver( often+ the narcissist lies or his fantasies are
easil( discerni)le. He al,a(s name6dro's and a''ro'riates other 'eo'leDs e?'eriences and
accom'lishments.
*motion-free language - The narcissist likes to talk a)out himself and onl( a)out himself.
He is not interested in others or ,hat the( ha*e to sa(+ unless the( constitute 'otential
Sources of Su''l( and in order to o)tain said su''l(. He acts )ored+ disdainful+ e*en angr(+ if
he feels that the( are intruding on his 'recious time and+ thus+ a)using him.
2n general+ the narcissist is *er( im'atient+ easil( )ored+ ,ith strong attention deficits - unless
and until he is the to'ic of discussion. One can 'u)licl( dissect all as'ects of the intimate life
of a narcissist ,ithout re'ercussions+ 'ro*iding the discourse is not Iemotionall( tintedI.
2f asked to relate directl( to his emotions+ the narcissist intellectuali7es+ rationali7es+ s'eaks
a)out himself in the third 'erson and in a detached IscientificI tone or com'oses a narrati*e
,ith a fictitious character in it+ sus'iciousl( auto)iogra'hical. Narcissists like to refer to
themsel*es in mechanical terms+ as efficient automata or machines.
eriousness and sense of intrusion and coercion - The narcissist is dead serious a)out
himself. He ma( 'ossess a su)tle+ ,r(+ and riotous sense of humor+ scathing and c(nical+ )ut
rarel( is he self6de'recating. The narcissist regards himself as )eing on a constant mission+
,hose im'ortance is cosmic and ,hose consequences are glo)al. 2f a scientist - he is al,a(s
in the throes of re*olutioni7ing science. 2f a Journalist - he is in the middle of the greatest
stor( e*er. 2f a no*elist 6 he is on his ,a( to a @ooker or No)el 'ri7e.
This self6mis'erce'tion is not amena)le to light6headedness or self6effacement. The narcissist
is easil( hurt and insulted Bnarcissistic inJur(C. E*en the most innocuous remarks or acts are
inter'reted )( him as )elittling+ intruding+ or coerci*e. His time is more *alua)le than othersD
- therefore+ it cannot )e ,asted on unim'ortant matters such as mere )anter or going out for a
,alk.
An( suggested hel'+ ad*ice+ or concerned inquir( are immediatel( cast )( the narcissist as
intentional humiliation+ im'l(ing that the narcissist is in need of hel' and counsel and+ thus+
im'erfect and less than omni'otent. An( attem't to set an agenda is+ to the narcissist+ an
intimidating act of ensla*ement. 2n this sense+ the narcissist is )oth schi7oid and 'aranoid and
often entertains ideas of reference.
These - the lack of em'ath(+ the aloofness+ the disdain+ the sense of entitlement+ the
constricted sense of humor+ the unequal treatment and the 'aranoia - render the narcissist a
social misfit. The narcissist is a)le to 'ro*oke in his milieu+ in his casual acquaintances+ e*en
in his 's(chothera'ist+ the strongest+ most a*id and furious hatred and re*ulsion. To his
shock+ indignation and consternation+ he in*aria)l( induces in others un)ridled aggression.
He is 'ercei*ed to )e asocial at )est and+ often+ antisocial. This+ 'erha's+ is the strongest
'resenting s(m'tom. One feels ill at ease in the 'resence of a narcissist for no a''arent
reason. No matter ho, charming+ intelligent+ thought 'ro*oking+ outgoing+ eas( going and
social the narcissist is - he fails to secure the s(m'ath( of others+ a s(m'ath( he is ne*er
read(+ ,illing+ or a)le to reci'rocate.
3V+ Narcissistic and $s#cho$athic Leaders
The narcissistic or 's(cho'athic leader is the culmination and reification of his 'eriod+
culture+ and ci*ili7ation. He is likel( to rise to 'rominence in narcissistic societies.
The malignant narcissist in*ents and then 'roJects a false+ fictitious+ self for the ,orld to fear+
or to admire. He maintains a tenuous gras' on realit( to start ,ith and this is further
e?acer)ated )( the tra''ings of 'o,er. The narcissistDs grandiose self6delusions and fantasies
of omni'otence and omniscience are su''orted )( real life authorit( and the narcissistDs
'redilection to surround himself ,ith o)sequious s(co'hants.
The narcissistDs 'ersonalit( is so 'recariousl( )alanced that he cannot tolerate e*en a hint of
criticism and disagreement. Most narcissists are 'aranoid and suffer from ideas of reference
Bthe delusion that the( are )eing mocked or discussed ,hen the( are notC. Thus+ narcissists
often regard themsel*es as I*ictims of 'ersecutionI.
The narcissistic leader fosters and encourages a 'ersonalit( cult ,ith all the hallmarks of an
institutional religion! 'riesthood+ rites+ rituals+ tem'les+ ,orshi'+ catechism+ m(tholog(. The
leader is this religionDs ascetic saint. He monasticall( denies himself earthl( 'leasures Bor so
he claimsC in order to )e a)le to dedicate himself full( to his calling.
The narcissistic leader is a monstrousl( in*erted 1esus+ sacrificing his life and den(ing
himself so that his 'eo'le 6 or humanit( at large 6 should )enefit. @( sur'assing and
su''ressing his humanit(+ the narcissistic leader )ecame a distorted *ersion of Niet7scheDs
Isu'ermanI.
@ut )eing a6human or su'er6human also means )eing a6se?ual and a6moral.
2n this restricted sense+ narcissistic leaders are 'ost6modernist and moral relati*ists. The(
'roJect to the masses an androg(nous figure and enhance it )( engendering the adoration of
nudit( and all things InaturalI 6 or )( strongl( re'ressing these feelings. @ut ,hat the( refer
to as InatureI is not natural at all.
The narcissistic leader in*aria)l( 'roffers an aesthetic of decadence and e*il carefull(
orchestrated and artificial 6 though it is not 'ercei*ed this ,a( )( him or )( his follo,ers.
Narcissistic leadershi' is a)out re'roduced co'ies+ not a)out originals. 2t is a)out the
mani'ulation of s(m)ols 6 not a)out *erita)le ata*ism or true conser*atism.
2n short! narcissistic leadershi' is a)out theatre+ not a)out life. To enJo( the s'ectacle Band )e
su)sumed )( itC+ the leader demands the sus'ension of Judgment+ de'ersonali7ation+ and de6
reali7ation. Catharsis is tantamount+ in this narcissistic dramaturg(+ to self6annulment.
Narcissism is nihilistic not onl( o'erationall(+ or ideologicall(. 2ts *er( language and
narrati*es are nihilistic. Narcissism is cons'icuous nihilism 6 and the cultDs leader ser*es as a
role model+ annihilating the Man+ onl( to re6a''ear as a 're6ordained and irresisti)le force of
nature.
Narcissistic leadershi' often 'oses as a re)ellion against the Iold ,a(sI 6 against the
hegemonic culture+ the u''er classes+ the esta)lished religions+ the su'er'o,ers+ the corru't
order. Narcissistic mo*ements are 'uerile+ a reaction to narcissistic inJuries inflicted u'on a
narcissistic Band rather 's(cho'athicC toddler nation6state+ or grou'+ or u'on the leader.
Minorities or IothersI 6 often ar)itraril( selected 6 constitute a 'erfect+ easil( identifia)le+
em)odiment of all that is I,rongI. The( are accused of )eing old+ the( are eeril(
disem)odied+ the( are cosmo'olitan+ the( are 'art of the esta)lishment+ the( are IdecadentI+
the( are hated on religious and socio6economic grounds+ or )ecause of their race+ se?ual
orientation+ origin ... The( are different+ the( are narcissistic Bfeel and act as morall(
su'eriorC+ the( are e*er(,here+ the( are defenceless+ the( are credulous+ the( are ada'ta)le
Band thus can )e co6o'ted to colla)orate in their o,n destructionC. The( are the 'erfect hate
figure. Narcissists thri*e on hatred and 'athological en*(.
This is 'recisel( the source of the fascination ,ith Hitler+ diagnosed )( Erich /romm 6
together ,ith Stalin 6 as a malignant narcissist. He ,as an in*erted human. His unconscious
,as his conscious. He acted out our most re'ressed dri*es+ fantasies+ and ,ishes. He 'ro*ides
us ,ith a glim'se of the horrors that lie )eneath the *eneer+ the )ar)arians at our 'ersonal
gates+ and ,hat it ,as like )efore ,e in*ented ci*ili7ation. Hitler forced us all through a time
,ar' and man( did not emerge. He ,as not the de*il. He ,as one of us. He ,as ,hat Arendt
a'tl( called the )analit( of e*il. 1ust an ordinar(+ mentall( distur)ed+ failure+ a mem)er of a
mentall( distur)ed and failing nation+ ,ho li*ed through distur)ed and failing times. He ,as
the 'erfect mirror+ a channel+ a *oice+ and the *er( de'th of our souls.
The narcissistic leader 'refers the s'arkle and glamour of ,ell6orchestrated illusions to the
tedium and method of real accom'lishments. His reign is all smoke and mirrors+ de*oid of
su)stances+ consisting of mere a''earances and mass delusions. 2n the aftermath of his
regime 6 the narcissistic leader ha*ing died+ )een de'osed+ or *oted out of office 6 it all
unra*els. The tireless and constant 'restidigitation ceases and the entire edifice crum)les.
4hat looked like an economic miracle turns out to ha*e )een a fraud6laced )u))le. 3oosel(6
held em'ires disintegrate. 3a)oriousl( assem)led )usiness conglomerates go to 'ieces.
IEarth shatteringI and Ire*olutionar(I scientific disco*eries and theories are discredited.
Social e?'eriments end in ma(hem.
2t is im'ortant to understand that the use of *iolence must )e ego6s(ntonic. 2t must accord
,ith the self6image of the narcissist. 2t must a)et and sustain his grandiose fantasies and feed
his sense of entitlement. 2t must conform ,ith the narcissistic narrati*e.
Thus+ a narcissist ,ho regards himself as the )enefactor of the 'oor+ a mem)er of the
common folk+ the re'resentati*e of the disenfranchised+ the cham'ion of the dis'ossessed
against the corru't elite 6 is highl( unlikel( to use *iolence at first.
The 'acific mask crum)les ,hen the narcissist has )ecome con*inced that the *er( 'eo'le he
'ur'orted to s'eak for+ his constituenc(+ his grassroots fans+ the 'rime sources of his
narcissistic su''l( 6 ha*e turned against him. At first+ in a des'erate effort to maintain the
fiction underl(ing his chaotic 'ersonalit(+ the narcissist stri*es to e?'lain a,a( the sudden
re*ersal of sentiment. IThe 'eo'le are )eing du'ed )( Bthe media+ )ig industr(+ the militar(+
the elite+ etc.CI+ Ithe( donDt reall( kno, ,hat the( are doingI+ Ifollo,ing a rude a,akening+
the( ,ill re*ert to formI+ etc.
4hen these flims( attem'ts to 'atch a tattered 'ersonal m(tholog( fail 6 the narcissist is
inJured. Narcissistic inJur( ine*ita)l( leads to narcissistic rage and to a terrif(ing dis'la( of
un)ridled aggression. The 'ent6u' frustration and hurt translate into de*aluation. That ,hich
,as 're*iousl( ideali7ed 6 is no, discarded ,ith contem't and hatred.
This 'rimiti*e defense mechanism is called Is'littingI. To the narcissist+ things and 'eo'le
are either entirel( )ad Be*ilC or entirel( good. He 'roJects onto others his o,n shortcomings
and negati*e emotions+ thus )ecoming a totall( good o)Ject. A narcissistic leader is likel( to
Justif( the )utchering of his o,n 'eo'le )( claiming that the( intended to kill him+ undo the
re*olution+ de*astate the econom(+ or the countr(+ etc.
The Ismall 'eo'leI+ the Irank and fileI+ the Ilo(al soldiersI of the narcissist 6 his flock+ his
nation+ his em'lo(ees 6 the( 'a( the 'rice. The disillusionment and disenchantment are
agoni7ing. The 'rocess of reconstruction+ of rising from the ashes+ of o*ercoming the trauma
of ha*ing )een decei*ed+ e?'loited and mani'ulated 6 is dra,n6out. 2t is difficult to trust
again+ to ha*e faith+ to lo*e+ to )e led+ to colla)orate. /eelings of shame and guilt engulf the
erst,hile follo,ers of the narcissist. This is his sole legac(! a massi*e 'ost6traumatic stress
disorder.
V+ irst #ear in o77ice
Predicta)l(+ @arack O)amaNs narcissistic )eha*iours gre, ,orse and more *isi)le during his
first (ear in office. As 2 noted in a radio inter*ie, Ban o)ser*ation later 'icked u' )( Aeorge
/. 4illC+ O)amaNs first 'erson O'ronoun densit(P has increased since his inauguration.
Pro'erl( measured+ first 'erson 'ronoun densit( reflects the num)er of times a 'erson
su)stitutes first 'erson 'ronouns for more a''ro'riate third and other 'erson 'ronouns. Thus+
to sa(! OM( countr(+ right or ,rongP is not indicati*e of a narcissistic self6'reoccu'ationH )ut
the sentence! OThe 0ussians ,ere afraid of meP is im'ro'er )ecause+ clearl(+ the 0ussians are
not afraid of an( single indi*idual! the( are afraid of ,hat he or she re'resents. Thus+ conte?t
counts. 2t is ,rong to merel( count the times O)ama has used O2P+ Om(P+ or OmineP in his
s'eeches and utterances Bas Aeorge /. 4ill didC.
O)amaNs 'ronoun densit( has dou)led )et,een 1anuar( #$+ #$$E and Octo)er #$$E. 2t then
su)sided+ though it is still a)out G$> o*er the le*el e?hi)ited during his election cam'aign.
This ,ould seem to indicate that his 'athological narcissism has )een e?acer)ated in office as
he ,as 'ro)a)l( )asking in media attention and the tra''ings of 'o,er. The )acklash+ such as
it ,as+ against se*eral of his more egregious )eha*iours and fau?6'as led him to modif( his
conduct and 'a( closer attention to his s(nta? and grammar! O)ama is no, acting modest.
/alse modest( is another hallmark of raging+ malignant narcissism.
O)amaNs )od( language has )ecome more 'ronounced and haught( ,hile in office. /or
e?am'le! 2 measured the num)er of times he tilted his head u',ards and in an angle during
s'eeches and 'u)lic a''earances Bliterall( ga7ing sk(,ards and a*oiding e(e contact ,ith his
'u)licC. The frequenc( of this 'articular gesture increased dramaticall( Balmost threefoldQC
this 'ast (ear. 2t is 'art and 'arcel of the narcissistNs Ohaught( 'ostureP and his attem't to
'roJect omniscience+ *ision+ and a cosmic6messianic mission. Similarl( telling gestures and
'ostures ha*e 'roliferated after O)ama has assumed office.
Another sign of O)amaNs gro,ing malignant narcissism is his lo,ered Ad*ersit( Tolerance
Threshold. 2 com'ared the num)er of times he sna''ed at critics and Journalists during the
election cam'aign and after he )ecame President. The frequenc( of such tem'er tantrums has
increased+ though not drasticall(. O)ama is still maintaining thes'ian self6control ,hen it
comes to the media and to his carefull(6culti*ated 'u)lic image. 4here he doesnNt )other
an(more to 'roJect )ene*olence and maturit( is ,ith his staff! he is markedl( and o'enl(
more aggressi*e and dismissi*e of his co6,orkers+ underlings+ cre,+ and team+ clearl(
relishing his quasi6sadistic out)ursts and their 'u)lic *er)al ,hi''ing.
0eturn
Obama's Nobel /ri0e
4ithin a single (ear+ @arrack O)ama had )een elected to the Presidenc( of the ;nited States
and had ,on the No)el Peace Pri7e. 4hile the merits of the first achie*ement are de)ata)le+
there is a consensus+ e*en among his most ardent su''orters+ fans+ and acol(tes that he
a)solutel( does not deser*e the second honor.
4hat ha''ens to a narcissist BO)amaC ,hose grandiose delusions suddenl( come true: 4hat
are the 's(chological effects on a narcissist ,hen his fantasies of success and 'erfection
materiali7e+ e*en though his real6life accom'lishments do not ,arrant such a turn of e*ents
and are ,ildl( incommensurate ,ith the adulator( feed)ack he kee's getting:
3+ "he Narcissist's 2elusions o7 8randeur
A delusion is Ia false )elief )ased on incorrect inference a)out e?ternal realit( that is firml(
sustained des'ite ,hat almost e*er(one else )elie*es and des'ite ,hat constitutes
incontro*erti)le and o)*ious 'roof or e*idence to the contrar(I. !elusion is+ therefore+ a
)elief+ idea+ or con*iction firml( held des'ite a)undant information to the contrar(. The
'artial or com'lete loss of realit( test is the first indication of a 's(chotic state or
e'isode. @eliefs+ ideas+ or con*ictions shared )( other 'eo'le+ mem)ers of the same
collecti*e+ are not+ strictl( s'eaking+ delusions+ although the( ma( )e hallmarks of shared
's(chosis.
There are man( t('es of delusions. The narcissist t('icall( holds grandiose9
magical con*ictions that he is im'ortant+ omni'otent+ omniscient+ irresisti)l( charming+
)rilliant+ 'erfect+ 'ossessed of occult 'o,ers+ deser*ing of s'ecial treatment BentitlementC+
or a historic figure of cosmic6messianic significance.
33+ "he Narcissist's Reaction to )uccess: "he 8randiosit# Bubble
A Arandiosit( @u))le is an imagined+ self6aggrandi7ing narrati*e in*ol*ing the narcissist and
elements from his real life! 'eo'le around him+ 'laces he frequents+ or con*ersations he is
ha*ing. The narcissist ,ea*es a stor( incor'orating these facts+ inflating them in the 'rocess
and endo,ing them ,ith )ogus internal meaning and consistenc(. 2n other ,ords! he
confa)ulates - )ut+ this time+ his confa)ulation is loosel( )ased on realit(.
2n the 'rocess+ the narcissist re6in*ents himself and his life to fit the ne,6fangled tale. He re6
casts himself in ne,l( ado'ted roles. He suddenl( fancies himself an actor+ a guru+ a 'olitical
acti*ist+ an entre'reneur+ or an irresisti)le hunk. He modifies his )eha*iour to conform to
these ne, functions. He graduall( mor'hs into the fa)ricated character and I)ecomesI the
fictitious 'rotagonist he has created.
All the mechanisms of 'athological narcissism are at ,ork during the )u))le 'hase. The
narcissist ideali7es the situation+ the other IactorsI+ and the en*ironment. He tries to control
and mani'ulate his milieu into )uttressing his false notions and 'erce'tions. /aced ,ith an
ine*ita)le Arandiosit( Aa' Bthe a)(ss )et,een his fantasies and realit(C+ he )ecomes
disillusioned and )itter and de*alues and discards the 'eo'le+ 'laces+ and circumstances
in*ol*ed in the )u))le.
333+ When Realit# 3ntrudes: "he 8randiosit# 8a$ and the 8randiosit# :angover
The grandiose fantasies of the narcissist ine*ita)l( and in*aria)l( clash ,ith his dra)+ routine+
and mundane realit(. 4e call this constant dissonance the Arandiosit( Aa'. Sometimes the
ga' is so (a,ning that e*en the narcissist 6 ho,e*er diml( 6 recogni7es its e?istence. Still+
this insight into his real situation fails to alter his )eha*iour. The narcissist kno,s that his
grandiose fantasies are incommensurate ,ith his accom'lishments+ kno,ledge+ status+ actual
,ealth Bor lack thereofC+ 'h(sical constitution+ or se? a''eal 6 (et+ he kee's )eha*ing as
though this ,ere untrue Bi.e.+ kee's den(ing realit(Ds intrusionsC.
The situation is further e?acer)ated )( 'eriods of relati*e success in the narcissistDs 'ast. Has6
)een and also6ran narcissists suffer from a Arandiosit( Hango*er. The( ma( ha*e once )een
rich+ famous+ 'o,erful+ )rilliant+ or se?uall( irresisti)le 6 )ut the( no longer are. Still+ the(
continue to )eha*e as though little has changed.
The Arandiosit( Hango*er and the Arandiosit( Aa' are the t,o maJor *ulnera)ilities of the
narcissist. @( e?'loiting them+ the narcissist can )e effortlessl( mani'ulated. This is
es'eciall( true ,hen the narcissist is confronted ,ith authorit(+ finds himself in an inferior
'osition+ or ,hen his Narcissistic Su''l( Badmiration+ adulation+ affirmation+ or an( form of
attentionC is deficient or uncertain.
3V+ "he Roller9'oaster Narcissist
The narcissist cathe?es Bemotionall( in*estsC ,ith grandiosit( e*er(thing he o,ns or does!
his nearest and dearest+ his ,ork+ his en*ironment. @ut+ as time 'asses+ this 'athologicall(
intense aura fades. The narcissist finds fault ,ith things and 'eo'le he had first thought
im'ecca)le. He energeticall( )erates and denigrates that ,hich he equall( 7ealousl( e?ulted
and 'raised onl( a short ,hile )efore.
This ine?ora)le and Bto the outside ,orldC disconcerting roller6coaster is kno,n as the
I2deali7ation6e*aluation C(cleI. 2t in*ol*es serious cogniti*e and emotional deficits and a
formida)le series of triggered defence mechanisms.
The C(cle starts ,ith the narcissistDs hunger for Narcissistic Su''l(! the 'ano'l( of reactions
to the narcissistDs /alse Self Bhis feigned facade of omni'otence and omniscienceC. The
narcissist uses these in'uts to regulate his fluctuating sense of self6,orth.
2t is im'ortant to distinguish )et,een the *arious com'onents of the 'rocess of Narcissistic
Su''l(!
%. The 'rigger of upply is the 'erson or o)Ject that 'ro*okes the source into (ielding
Narcissistic Su''l( )( confronting the source ,ith information a)out the narcissistDs
/alse SelfH
#. The ource of Narcissistic upply is the 'erson that 'ro*ides the Narcissistic
Su''l(H
K. Narcissistic upply is the reaction of the source to the trigger.
The narcissist homes in on Triggers and Sources of Narcissistic Su''l( 6 'eo'le+ 'ossessions+
creati*e ,orks+ mone( - and im)ues these sources and triggers ,ith attri)uted uniqueness+
'erfection+ )rilliance+ and grandiose qualities Bomni'otence+ omni'resence+ omniscienceC. He
filters out an( data that contradict these fantastic mis'erce'tions. He rationali7es+
intellectuali7es+ denies+ re'resses+ 'roJects - and+ in general+ defends against - contrarian
information.
The narcissist reali7es and resents his de'endence on Narcissistic Su''l(. Moreo*er+ dee'
inside+ he is a,are of the fact that his /alse Self is an untena)le sham. Still+ omni'otent as he
holds himself to )e+ the narcissist )elie*es in his a)ilit( to make it all come true+ to
as(m'toticall( a''ro?imate his grandiose fantasies. He is firml( con*inced that+ gi*en
enough time and 'ractice+ he can and ,ill )ecome his loft( /alse Self.
Hence the narcissistDs idea of 'rogress! the frustrating and masochistic 'ursuit of an e*er6
receding mirage of 'erfection+ )rilliance+ omniscience+ omni'resence+ and omni'otence. The
narcissist dum's old sources and triggers of su''l( )ecause he is con*inced that he is
'er'etuall( im'ro*ing and that he deser*es )etter and that I)etterI is Just around the corner.
He is dri*en )( his o,n im'ossi)le Ego 2deal.
V+ )ome )uccess7ul Narcissists 2evelo$ /aranoia
Paranoid ideation 6 the narcissistDs dee'6rooted con*iction that he is )eing 'ersecuted )( his
inferiors+ detractors+ or 'o,erful ill6,ishers 6 ser*es t,o 's(chod(namic 'ur'oses. 2t u'holds
the narcissistDs grandiosit( and it fends off intimac(.
8randiosit# (nhancing /aranoia
@eing the target of relentless+ u)iquitous+ and unJust 'ersecution 'ro*es to the 'aranoid
narcissist ho, im'ortant and feared he is. @eing hounded )( the might( and the 'ri*ileged
*alidates his 'i*otal role in the scheme of things. Onl( *ital+ ,eight(+ crucial+ essential
'rinci'als are thus )ullied and intimidated+ follo,ed and harassed+ stalked and intruded u'on+
goes his unconscious inner dialog. The narcissist consistentl( )aits authorit( figures into
'unishing him and thus into u'holding his delusional self6image as ,orth( of their attention.
This 'ro*ocati*e )eha*iour is called ProJecti*e 2dentification.
The 'aranoid delusions of the narcissist are al,a(s grandiose+ IcosmicI+ or IhistoricalI. His
'ursuers are influential and formida)le. The( are after his unique 'ossessions+ out to e?'loit
his e?'ertise and s'ecial traits+ or to force him to a)stain and refrain from certain actions. The
narcissist feels that he is at the centre of intrigues and cons'iracies of colossal magnitudes.
Alternati*el(+ the narcissist feels *ictimi7ed )( mediocre )ureaucrats and intellectual d,ar*es
,ho consistentl( fail to a''reciate his outstanding 6 reall(+ un'aralleled 6 talents+ skills+ and
accom'lishments. @eing haunted )( his challenged inferiors su)stantiates the narcissistDs
com'arati*e su'eriorit(. ri*en )( 'athological en*(+ these '(gmies collude to defraud him+
)adger him+ den( him his due+ denigrate+ isolate+ and ignore him.
The narcissist 'roJects onto this second class of lesser 'ersecutors his o,n deleterious
emotions and transformed aggression! hatred+ rage+ and seething Jealous(.
The narcissistDs 'aranoid streak is likeliest to eru't ,hen he lacks Narcissistic Su''l(. The
regulation of his la)ile sense of self6,orth is de'endent u'on e?ternal stimuli 6 adoration+
adulation+ affirmation+ a''lause+ notoriet(+ fame+ infam(+ and+ in general+ attention of an(
kind.
4hen such attention is deficient+ the narcissist com'ensates )( confa)ulating. He constructs
ungrounded narrati*es in ,hich he is the 'rotagonist and uses them to force his human
en*ironment into com'licit(.
Put sim'l(+ he 'ro*okes 'eo'le to 'a( attention to him )( mis)eha*ing or )eha*ing oddl(.
3ntimac# Retarding /aranoia
Paranoia is use )( the narcissist to ,ard off or re*erse intimac(. The narcissist is threatened
)( intimac( )ecause it reduces him to ordinariness )( e?'osing his ,eaknesses and
shortcomings and )( causing him to act Inormall(I. The narcissist also dreads the encounter
,ith his dee' )uried emotions 6 hurt+ en*(+ anger+ aggression 6 likel( to )e foisted on him in
an intimate relationshi'.
The 'aranoid narrati*e legitimi7es intimac( re'elling )eha*iors such as kee'ing oneDs
distance+ secrec(+ aloofness+ reclusion+ aggression+ intrusion on 'ri*ac(+ l(ing+ desultoriness+
itineranc(+ un'redicta)ilit(+ and idios(ncratic or eccentric reactions. Araduall(+ the narcissist
succeeds to alienate and ,ear do,n all his friends+ colleagues+ ,ell6,ishers+ and mates.
As time 'asses+ e*en the narcissistDs closest+ nearest+ and dearest+ his famil( come to feel
emotionall( detached and I)urnt outI.
The 'aranoid narcissist ends life as an odd)all recluse! derided+ feared+ and loathed in equal
measures. His 'aranoia+ e?acer)ated )( re'eated reJections and ageing+ 'er*ades his entire
life and diminishes his creati*it(+ ada'ta)ilit(+ and functioning. The narcissist 'ersonalit(+
)uffeted )( 'aranoia+ turns ossified and )rittle. /inall(+ atomi7ed and useless+ it succum)s and
gi*es ,a( to a great *oid. The narcissist is consumed.
V3+ Narcissistic 'o$ing ,ethods %ith ailure ;Read this )u$$lementar# 2ocument: "he
2a# Barrack Obama5 Narcissist )na$s and Loses 3t<
4hen the successful narcissist fails 6 ,hich ine*ita)l( ha''ens from time to time 6 he resorts
to self6delusion. ;na)le to com'letel( ignore contrarian o'inion and data+ he transmutes
them. ;na)le to face the dismal failure that he is+ the narcissist 'artiall( ,ithdra,s from
realit(. To soothe and sal*e the 'ain of disillusionment+ he administers to his aching soul a
mi?ture of lies+ distortions+ half6truths and outlandish inter'retations of e*ents around him.
These solutions can )e classified thus!
'he !elusional Narrative olutions
The narcissist constructs a narrati*e in ,hich he figures as the hero 6 )rilliant+ 'erfect+
irresisti)l( handsome+ destined for great things+ entitled+ 'o,erful+ ,ealth(+ the centre of
attention+ etc. The )igger the strain on this delusional charade 6 the greater the ga' )et,een
fantas( and realit( 6 the more the delusion coalesces and solidifies.
/inall(+ if it is sufficientl( 'rotracted+ it re'laces realit( and the narcissistDs realit( test
deteriorates. He ,ithdra,s his )ridges and ma( )ecome Schi7ot('al+ catatonic+ or schi7oid.
'he &eality &enouncing olutions
The narcissist renounces realit(. To his mind+ those ,ho 'usillanimousl( fail to recogni7e his
un)ound talents+ innate su'eriorit(+ o*erarching )rilliance+ )ene*olent nature+ entitlement+
cosmicall( im'ortant mission+ 'erfection+ etc. 6 do not deser*e consideration. The narcissistDs
natural affinit( ,ith the criminal 6 his lack of em'ath( and com'assion+ his deficient social
skills+ his disregard for social la,s and morals 6 no, eru'ts and )lossoms. He )ecomes a full
fledged antisocial Bsocio'ath or 's(cho'athC. He ignores the ,ishes and needs of others+ he
)reaks the la,+ he *iolates all rights 6 natural and legal+ he hold 'eo'le in contem't and
disdain+ he derides societ( and its codes+ he 'unishes the ignorant ingrates 6 that+ to his mind+
dro*e him to this state 6 )( acting criminall( and )( Jeo'ardi7ing their safet(+ li*es+ or
'ro'ert(.
'he (aranoid chi,oid olution
The narcissist de*elo's 'ersecutor( delusions. He 'ercei*es slights and insults ,here none
,ere intended. He )ecomes su)Ject to ideas of reference B'eo'le are gossi'ing a)out him+
mocking him+ 'r(ing into his affairs+ cracking his e6mail+ etc.C. He is con*inced that he is the
centre of malign and mal6intentioned attention. Peo'le are cons'iring to humiliate him+
'unish him+ a)scond ,ith his 'ro'ert(+ delude him+ im'o*erish him+ confine him 'h(sicall(
or intellectuall(+ censor him+ im'ose on his time+ force him to action Bor to inactionC+ frighten
him+ coerce him+ surround and )esiege him+ change his mind+ 'art ,ith his *alues+ e*en
murder him+ and so on.
Some narcissists ,ithdra, com'letel( from a ,orld 'o'ulated ,ith such minacious and
ominous o)Jects Breall( 'roJections of internal o)Jects and 'rocessesC. The( a*oid all social
contact+ e?ce't the most necessar(.
The( refrain from meeting 'eo'le+ falling in lo*e+ ha*ing se?+ talking to others+ or e*en
corres'onding ,ith them. 2n short! the( )ecome schi7oids 6 not out of social sh(ness+ )ut out
of ,hat the( feel to )e their choice.
DThe ,orld does not deser*e meD 6 goes the inner refrain 6 Dand 2 shall ,aste none of m( time
and resources on it.D
'he (aranoid .ggressive (*xplosive) olution
Other narcissists ,ho de*elo' 'ersecutor( delusions+ resort to an aggressi*e stance+ a more
*iolent resolution of their internal conflict. The( )ecome *er)all(+ 's(chologicall(+
situationall( Band+ *er( rarel(+ 'h(sicall(C a)usi*e. The( insult+ castigate+ chastise+ )erate+
demean+ and deride their nearest and dearest Boften ,ell ,ishers and lo*ed onesC. The(
e?'lode in un'ro*oked dis'la(s of indignation+ righteousness+ condemnation+ and )lame.
Theirs is an e?egetic @edlam. The( inter'ret e*er(thing 6 e*en the most innocuous+
inad*ertent+ and innocent 6 as designed to 'ro*oke and humiliate them. The( so, fear+
re*ulsion+ hate+ and malignant en*(. The( flail against the ,indmills of realit( 6 a 'athetic+
forlorn+ sight. @ut often the( cause real and lasting damage 6 fortunatel(+ mainl( to
themsel*es.I
'he /asochistic .voidant olution
The narcissist is angered )( the lack of narcissistic su''l(. He directs some of this fur(
in,ards+ 'unishing himself for his IfailureI. This masochistic )eha*ior has the added
I)enefitI of forcing the narcissistDs closest to assume the roles of disma(ed s'ectators or of
'ersecutors and thus+ either ,a(+ to 'a( him the attention that he cra*es.
Self6administered 'unishment often manifests as self6handica''ing masochism 6 a
narcissistic co'6out. @( undermining his ,ork+ his relationshi's+ and his efforts+ the
increasingl( fragile narcissist a*oids additional criticism and censure Bnegati*e su''l(C. Self6
inflicted failure is the narcissistDs doing and thus 'ro*es that he is the master of his o,n fate.
Masochistic narcissists kee' finding themsel*es in self6defeating circumstances ,hich render
success im'ossi)le 6 and Ian o)Jecti*e assessment of their 'erformance im'ro)a)leI BMillon+
#$$$C. The( act carelessl(+ ,ithdra, in mid6effort+ are constantl( fatigued+ )ored+ or
disaffected and thus 'assi*e6aggressi*el( sa)otage their li*es. Their suffering is defiant and
)( Ideciding to a)ortI the( reassert their omni'otence.
The narcissistDs 'ronounced and 'u)lic miser( and self6'it( are com'ensator( and Ireinforce
self6esteem against o*er,helming con*ictions of ,orthlessnessI BMillon+ #$$$C. His
tri)ulations and anguish render him+ in his e(es+ unique+ saintl(+ *irtuous+ righteous+ resilient+
and significant. The( are+ in other ,ords+ self6generated narcissistic su''l(.
V33+ Narcissists Lie and 'on7abulate to /reserve the A$$earance o7 3nvincibilit# and
)uccess
2t is health( to da(dream and fantasi7e. 2t is the antecham)er of life and its circumstances. 2t
is a 'rocess of 're'aring for e*entualities+ em)ellished and decorated. Arandiosit( is
different+ though.
elusional grandiosit( 6 es'eciall( ,hen su''orted )( un,arranted and unJustified success 6
has four com'onents.
Omni$otence
The narcissist )elie*es in his omni'otence. I@elie*eI in this conte?t is a ,eak ,ord. He
kno,s. 2t is a cellular certaint(+ almost )iological+ it flo,s in his )lood and 'ermeates e*er(
niche of his )eing. The narcissist Ikno,sI that he can do an(thing he chooses to do and e?cel
in it. 4hat the narcissist does+ ,hat he e?cels at+ ,hat he achie*es+ de'ends onl( on his
*olition. To his mind+ there is no other determinant.
Hence his rage ,hen confronted ,ith disagreement or o''osition - not onl( )ecause of the
audacit( of his+ e*identl( inferior+ ad*ersaries. @ut )ecause it threatens his ,orld *ie,+ it
endangers his feeling of omni'otence. The narcissist is often fatuousl( daring+ ad*enturous+
e?'erimentati*e and curious 'recisel( due to this hidden assum'tion of Ican6doI. He is
genuinel( sur'rised and de*astated ,hen he fails+ ,hen the Iuni*erseI does not arrange itself+
magicall(+ to accommodate his un)ounded fantasies+ ,hen it Band 'eo'le in itC does not
com'l( ,ith his ,hims and ,ishes.
He often denies a,a( such discre'ancies+ deletes them from his memor(. As a result+ he
remem)ers his life as a 'atch( quilt of unrelated e*ents and 'eo'le.
Omniscience
The narcissist often 'retends to kno, e*er(thing+ in e*er( field of human kno,ledge and
endea*our. He lies and 're*aricates to a*oid the e?'osure of his ignorance. He resorts to
numerous su)terfuges to su''ort his Aod6like omniscience.
4here his kno,ledge fails him - he feigns authorit(+ fakes su'eriorit(+ quotes from non6
e?istent sources+ em)eds threads of truth in a can*ass of falsehoods. He transforms himself
into an artist of intellectual 'restidigitation. As he gets older+ this in*idious qualit( ma(
recede+ or+ rather+ metamor'hose. He ma( no, claim more confined e?'ertise.
He ma( no longer )e ashamed to admit his ignorance and his need to learn things outside the
fields of his real or self6'roclaimed e?'ertise. @ut this Iim'ro*ementI is merel( o'tical.
4ithin his Iterritor(I+ the narcissist is still as fiercel( defensi*e and 'ossessi*e as e*er.
Man( narcissists are a*o,ed autodidacts+ un,illing to su)Ject their kno,ledge and insights to
'eer scrutin(+ or+ for that matter+ to an( scrutin(. The narcissist kee's re6in*enting himself+
adding ne, fields of kno,ledge as he goes. This cree'ing intellectual anne?ation is a round
a)out ,a( of re*erting to his erst,hile image as the erudite I0enaissance manI.
Omni$resence
E*en the narcissist cannot 'retend to actuall( )e e*er(,here at once in the ()0+1.2
sense. 2nstead+ he feels that he is the centre and the a?is of his Iuni*erseI+ that all things and
ha''enstances re*ol*e around him and that cosmic disintegration ,ould ensue if he ,ere to
disa''ear or to lose interest in someone or in something.
He is con*inced+ for instance+ that he is the main+ if not the onl(+ to'ic of discussion in his
a)sence. He is often sur'rised and offended to learn that he ,as not e*en mentioned. 4hen
in*ited to a meeting ,ith man( 'artici'ants+ he assumes the 'osition of the sage+ the guru+ or
the teacher5guide ,hose ,ords carr( a s'ecial ,eight. His creations B)ooks+ articles+ ,orks of
artC are e?tensions of his 'resence and+ in this restricted sense+ he does seem to e?ist
e*er(,here. 2n other ,ords+ he Istam'sI his en*ironment. He Ilea*es his markI u'on it. He
IstigmatisesI it.
Narcissist the Omnivore ;/er7ectionism and 'om$leteness<
There is another IomniI com'onent in grandiosit(. The narcissist is an omni*ore. He de*ours
and digests e?'eriences and 'eo'le+ sights and smells+ )odies and ,ords+ )ooks and films+
sounds and achie*ements+ his ,ork and his leisure+ his 'leasure and his 'ossessions. The
narcissist is inca'a)le of *N340+N5 an(thing )ecause he is in constant 'ursuit of 'erfection
and com'leteness.
Classic narcissists interact ,ith the ,orld as 'redators do ,ith their 're(. The( ,ant to o,n it
all+ )e e*er(,here+ e?'erience e*er(thing. The( cannot dela( gratification. The( do not take
InoI for an ans,er. And the( settle for nothing less than the ideal+ the su)lime+ the 'erfect+
the all6inclusi*e+ the all6encom'assing+ the engulfing+ the all6'er*asi*e+ the most )eautiful+
the cle*erest+ the richest+ and the most )rilliant.
The narcissist is shattered ,hen he disco*ers that a collection he 'ossesses is incom'lete+ that
his colleagueDs ,ife is more glamorous+ that his son is )etter than he is in math+ that his
neigh)our has a ne,+ flash( car+ that his roommate got 'romoted+ that the Ilo*e of his lifeI
signed a recording contract. 2t is not 'lain old Jealous(+ not e*en 'athological en*( Bthough it
is definitel( a 'art of the 's(chological make6u' of the narcissistC. 2t is the disco*er( that the
narcissist is N4' 'erfect+ or ideal+ or com'lete that does him in.
V333+ antasi0ing as Action9)ubstitute
4hat ha''ens to a narcissist ,ho lacks e*en the )asic 'otential and skills to realise some of
his grandiose fantasies:
Such a narcissist resorts to deferred Narcissistic Su''l( ,hich generates an effect of deferred
grandiosit(. He forgoes his grandiose schemes and gi*es u' on the 'resent. He defers the
fulfilment of his fantasies - ,hich su''ort his inflated Ego - to the BindefiniteC future.
Such narcissists engage in acti*ities Bor in da(dreamingC+ ,hich the( fer*entl( )elie*e+ ,ill
make them famous+ 'o,erful+ influential+ or su'erior in some uns'ecified future time. The(
kee' their minds occu'ied and off their failures.
Such frustrated and )itter narcissistDs hold themsel*es ans,era)le onl( to Histor(+ Aod+
Eternit(+ /uture Aenerations+ Art+ science+ the Church+ the Countr(+ the Nation and so on.
The( entertain notions of grandeur ,hich are de'endent u'on the Judgement or assessment of
a fu77il( defined collecti*e in an am)iguous time frame. Thus+ these narcissists find solace in
the em)race of Chronos.
eferred grandiosit( is an ada'ti*e mechanism ,hich ameliorates d(s'horias and grandiosit(
ga's.
3=+ Narcissism as a Waste
Ask an(one ,ho shared a life ,ith a narcissist+ or kne, one and the( are likel( to sigh!
I4hat a ,asteI. 4aste of 'otential+ ,aste of o''ortunities+ ,aste of emotions+ a ,asteland of
arid addiction and futile 'ursuit.
Narcissists are as gifted as the( come. The 'ro)lem is to disentangle their tales of fantastic
grandiosit( from the realit( of their talents and skills. The( al,a(s either o*er6estimate or
de*alue their 'otenc(. The( often em'hasise the ,rong traits and in*est in their mediocre or
less than a*erage ca'acities at the e?'ense of their true and 'romising 'otential. Thus+ the(
squander their ad*antages and under6rate their natural gifts.
The narcissist decides ,hich as'ects of his self to nurture and ,hich to neglect. He gra*itates
to,ards acti*ities commensurate ,ith his 'om'ous auto6'ortrait. He su''resses these
tendencies and a'titudes in him ,hich donDt conform to his inflated *ie, of his uniqueness+
)rilliance+ might+ se?ual 'ro,ess+ or standing in societ(. He culti*ates these flairs and
'redilections ,hich he regards as )efitting his o*er,eening self6image and ultimate grandeur.
@ut+ the narcissist+ no matter ho, self6a,are and ,ell6meaning+ is accursed. His grandiosit(+
his fantasies+ the com'elling+ o*erriding urge to feel unique+ in*ested ,ith some cosmic
significance+ un'recedentedl( )esto,ed - these th,art his )est intentions. These structures of
o)session and com'ulsion+ these de'osits of insecurit( and 'ain+ the stalactites and
stalagmites of (ears of a)use and then a)andonment - the( all cons'ire to frustrate the
gratification+ ho,e*er circums'ect+ of the narcissistDs true nature.
An utter lack of self6a,areness is t('ical of the narcissist. He is intimate onl( ,ith his /alse
Self+ constructed meticulousl( from (ears of l(ing and deceit. The narcissistDs True Self is
stashed+ dila'idated and d(sfunctional+ in the furthest recesses of his mind. The /alse Self is
omni'otent+ omniscient+ omni'resent+ creati*e+ ingenious+ irresisti)le+ and glo,ing. The
narcissist often isnDt.
Add com)usti)le 'aranoia to the narcissistDs di*orce from himself - and his constant and
recurrent failure to assess realit( fairl( is more understanda)le. The narcissist o*er'o,ering
sense of entitlement is rarel( commensurate ,ith his accom'lishments in his real life or ,ith
his traits. 4hen the ,orld fails to com'l( ,ith his demands and to su''ort his grandiose
fantasies+ the narcissist sus'ects a 'lot against him )( his inferiors.
The narcissist rarel( admits to a ,eakness+ ignorance+ or deficienc(. He filters out
information to the contrar( - a cogniti*e im'airment ,ith serious consequences. Narcissistic
are likel( to unflinchingl( make inflated and inane claims a)out their se?ual 'ro,ess+ ,ealth+
connections+ histor(+ or achie*ements.
All this is might( em)arrassing to the narcissistDs nearest+ dearest+ colleagues+ friends+
neigh)ours+ or e*en mere on6lookers. The narcissistDs tales are so 'atentl( a)surd that he often
catches 'eo'le off6guard. @ehind his )ack+ the narcissist is derided and mockingl( imitated.
He fast makes a nuisance and an im'osition of himself in e*er( com'an(.
@ut the narcissistDs failure of the realit( test can ha*e more serious and irre*ersi)le
consequences. Narcissists+ unqualified to make life6and6death decisions often insist on
rendering them. Narcissists 'retend to )e economists+ engineers+ or medical doctors - ,hen
the( are not. @ut the( are not con6artists in the classic+ 'remeditated sense. The( firml(
)elie*e that+ though self6taught at )est+ the( are more qualified than e*en the 'ro'erl(
accredited sort. Narcissists )elie*e in magic and in fantas(. The( are no longer ,ith us.
The narcissist often strikes 'eo'le are Ilaid )ackI 6 or+ less charita)l(! la7(+ 'arasitic+ s'oiled+
and self6indulgent. @ut+ as usual ,ith narcissists+ a''earances decei*e. Narcissists are either
com'ulsi*el( dri*en o*er6achie*ers 6 or chronic under6achie*ing ,astrels. Most of them fail
to make full and 'roducti*e use of their 'otential and ca'acities. Man( a*oid e*en the no,
standard 'ath of an academic degree+ a career+ or famil( life.
The dis'arit( )et,een the accom'lishments of the narcissist and his grandiose fantasies and
inflated self6image 6 the Arandiosit( Aa' 6 is staggering and+ in the long run+ insu''orta)le. 2t
im'oses onerous e?igencies on the narcissistDs gras' of realit( and social skills. 2t 'ushes him
either to seclusion or to a fren7( of IacquisitionsI 6 cars+ ,omen+ ,ealth+ 'o,er.
Met+ no matter ho, successful the narcissist is 6 man( of them end u' )eing a)Ject failures 6
the Arandiosit( Aa' can ne*er )e )ridged. The narcissistDs /alse Self is so unrealistic and his
Su'erego so sadistic that there is nothing the narcissist can do to e?tricate himself from the
Rafkaesque trial that is his life.
The narcissist is a sla*e to his o,n inertia. Some narcissists are fore*er accelerating on the
,a( to e*er higher 'eaks and e*er greener 'astures. Others succum) to num)ing routines+ the
e?'enditure of minimal energ(+ and to 're(ing on the *ulnera)le. @ut either ,a(+ the
narcissistDs life is out of control+ at the merc( of merciless inner *oices and internal forces.
Narcissists are one6state machines+ 'rogrammed to e?tract Narcissistic Su''l( from others.
To do so+ the( de*elo' earl( on a set of immuta)le routines. This 'ro'ensit( for re'etition+
this ina)ilit( to change and rigidit( confine the narcissist+ stunt his de*elo'ment+ and limit his
hori7ons. Add to this his o*er'o,ering sense of entitlement+ his *isceral fear of failure+ and
his in*aria)le need to )oth feel unique and )e 'ercei*ed as such 6 and one often ends u' ,ith
a reci'e for inaction.
The under6achie*ing narcissist dodges challenges+ eludes tests+ shirks com'etition+ sideste's
e?'ectations+ ducks res'onsi)ilities+ e*ades authorit( 6 )ecause he is afraid to fail and
)ecause doing something e*er(one else does endangers his sense of uniqueness. Hence the
narcissistDs a''arent Dla7inessI and I'arasitismI. His sense of entitlement 6 ,ith no
commensurate accom'lishments or in*estment 6 aggra*ates his milieu. Peo'le tend to regard
such narcissists as Is'oiled )ratsI.
2n s'ecious contrast+ the o*er6achie*ing narcissist seeks challenges and risks+ 'ro*okes
com'etition+ em)ellishes e?'ectations+ aggressi*el( )ids for res'onsi)ilities and authorit(
and seems to )e 'ossessed ,ith an eerie self6confidence. Peo'le tend to regard such s'ecimen
as Ientre'reneurialI+ IdaringI+ I*isionar(I+ or It(rannicalI. Met+ these narcissists too are
mortified )( 'otential failure+ dri*en )( a strong con*iction of entitlement+ and stri*e to )e
unique and )e 'ercei*ed as such.
Their h('eracti*it( is merel( the fli' side of the under6achie*erDs inacti*it(! it is as fallacious
and as em't( and as doomed to miscarriage and disgrace. 2t is often sterile or illusor(+ all
smoke and mirrors rather than su)stance. The 'recarious Iachie*ementsI of such narcissists
in*aria)l( unra*el. The( often act outside the la, or social norms. Their industriousness+
,orkaholism+ am)ition+ and commitment are intended to disguise their essential ina)ilit( to
'roduce and )uild. Theirs is a ,histle in the dark+ a 'retension+ a Potemkin life+ all make6
)elief and thunder.
=+ "he Narcissist's alse ,odest#
The Imodest(I dis'la(ed )( narcissists is false. 2t is mostl( and merel( *er)al. 2t is couched
in flourishing 'hrases+ em'hasised to a)surdit(+ re'eated unnecessaril( - usuall( to the 'oint
of causing gross incon*enience to the listener. The real aim of such )eha*iour and its su)te?t
are e?actl( the o''osite of common modest(.
2t is intended to either aggrandise the narcissist or to 'rotect his grandiosit( from scrutin( and
'ossi)le erosion. Such modest out)ursts 'recede inflated+ grandiosit(6laden statements made
)( the narcissist and 'ertaining to fields of human kno,ledge and acti*it( in ,hich he is
sorel( lacking.
e*oid of s(stematic and methodical education+ the narcissist tries to make do ,ith 'om'ous+
or aggressi*e mannerisms+ )om)astic announcements+ and the unnecessar( and ,rong usage
of 'rofessional Jargon. He attem'ts to da77le his surroundings ,ith a''arent I)rillianceI and
to 'ut 'ossi)le critics on the defence.
@eneath all this he is shallo,+ ignorant+ im'ro*ising+ and fearful of )eing e?'osed as
deceitful. The narcissist is a conJurer of *er)osit(+ using sleight of mouth rather than sleight
of hand. He is e*er 'ossessed )( the fear that he is reall( a 'ett( crook a)out to )e unearthed
and re*iled )( societ(.
This is a horri)le feeling to endure and a ta?ing+ onerous ,a( to li*e. The narcissist has to
'rotect himself from his o,n 'remonitions+ from his internal semi'ternal trial+ his guilt+
shame+ and an?iet(. One of the more efficacious defence mechanisms is false modest(.
The narcissist 'u)licl( chastises himself for )eing unfit+ un,orth(+ lacking+ not trained and
not Bformall(C schooled+ not o)Jecti*e+ cognisant of his o,n shortcomings and *ain. This ,a(+
if Bor+ rather+ ,henC e?'osed he could al,a(s sa(! I@ut 2 told (ou so in the first 'lace+ ha*enDt
2:I /alse modest( is+ thus an insurance 'olic(. The narcissist Ihedges his )etsI )( 'lacing a
side )et on his o,n falli)ilit(+ ,eakness+ deficiencies and 'roneness to err.
Met another function is to e?tract Narcissistic Su''l( from the listener. @( contrasting his
o,n self6de'recation ,ith a )rilliant+ da77ling dis'la( of ingenuit(+ ,it+ intellect+ kno,ledge+
or )eaut( - the narcissist aims to secure an adoring+ admiring+ a''ro*ing+ or a''lauding
'rotestation from the listener.
The 'erson to ,hom the falsel( modest statement is addressed is e?'ected to *ehementl(
den( the narcissistDs claims! I@ut+ reall(+ (ou are more of an e?'ert than (ou sa(QI+ or I4h(
did (ou tell me that (ou are una)le to do Bthis or thatC: Trul(+ (ou are *er( giftedQI IonDt 'ut
(ourself do,n so much 6 (ou are a generous manQI
The narcissist then shrugs+ smirks+ )lushes and mo*es uncomforta)l( from side to side. This
,as not his intention+ he assures his interlocutor. He did not mean to fish for com'liments
Be?actl( ,hat he did mean to doC. He reall( does not deser*e the 'raise. @ut the aim has+ thus+
)een achie*ed! the Narcissistic Su''l( has )een doled out and a*idl( consumed. es'ite the
narcissistDs 'rotestations+ he feels much )etter no,.
The narcissist is a dilettante and a charlatan. He glosses o*er com'licated su)Jects and
situations in life. He sails through them 'o,ered )( shallo, acquaintance ,ith ra'idl(
acquired *er)al and )eha*ioural *oca)ularies B,hich he then 'rom'tl( 'roceeds to forgetC.
/alse modest( is onl( one of a series of feigned )eha*iours. The narcissist is a 'athological
liar+ either im'licitl( or e?'licitl(. His ,hole e?istence is a deri*ati*e of a /alse Self+ his
deceitful in*ention and its reflections. 4ith false modest( he seeks to in*ol*e others in his
mind games+ to co6o't them+ to force them to colla)orate ,hile making ultimate use of social
con*entions of conduct.
The narcissist+ a)o*e all+ is a shre,d mani'ulator+ ,ell6acquainted ,ith human nature and its
fault lines. No narcissist ,ill e*er admit to it. 2n this sense+ narcissists are reall( modest.
=3+ Obama's 3nner World
Pathological narcissism is a defence mechanism intended to isolate the narcissist from his
en*ironment and to shield him from hurt and inJur(+ )oth real and imagined. Hence the /alse
Self 6 an all6'er*asi*e 's(chological construct ,hich graduall( dis'laces the narcissistDs True
Self. 2t is a ,ork of fiction intended to elicit 'raise and deflect criticism.
The unintended consequence of this fictitious e?istence is a diminishing a)ilit( to gras'
realit( correctl( and to co'e ,ith it effecti*el(. Narcissistic Su''l( re'laces genuine+
*erita)le+ and tested feed)ack. Anal(sis+ disagreement+ and uncomforta)le facts are screened
out. 3a(ers of )ias and 'reJudice distort the narcissistDs e?'erience.
Met+ dee' inside+ the narcissist is a,are that his life is an artefact+ a confa)ulated sham+ a
*ulnera)le cocoon. The ,orld ine?ora)l( and re'eatedl( intrudes u'on these ramshackle
)attlements+ reminding the narcissist of the fantastic and fee)le nature of his grandiosit(. This
is the much6dreaded Arandiosit( Aa'.
To a*oid the agoni7ing reali7ation of his failed+ defeat6stre,n+ )iogra'h(+ the narcissist
resorts to realit(6su)stitutes. The d(namics are sim'le! as the narcissist gro,s older+ his
Sources of Su''l( )ecome scarcer+ and his Arandiosit( Aa' (a,ns ,ider. Mortified )( the
'ros'ect of facing his actualit(+ the narcissist ,ithdra,s e*er dee'er into a dreamland of
concocted accom'lishments+ feigned omni'otence and omniscience+ and )rattish entitlement.
The narcissistDs realit( su)stitutes fulfil t,o functions. The( hel' him Irationall(I ignore
'ainful realities ,ith im'unit( 6 and the( 'roffer an alternati*e uni*erse in ,hich he reigns
su'reme and emerges trium'hant.
The most common form of denial in*ol*es 'ersecutor( delusions. 2 descri)ed
these else,here!
%('he narcissist) perceives slights and insults where none were intended# )e becomes
sub"ect to ideas of reference (people are gossiping about him, mocking him, prying into his
affairs, cracking his e-mail, etc#)# )e is convinced that he is the centre of malign and mal-
intentioned attention# (eople are conspiring to humiliate him, punish him, abscond with
his property, delude him, impoverish him, confine him physically or intellectually, censor
him, impose on his time, force him to action (or to inaction), frighten him, coerce him,
surround and besiege him, change his mind, part with his values, even murder him, and so
on#%
The narcissistDs 'aranoid narrati*e ser*es as an organi7ing 'rinci'le. 2t structures his here and
no, and gi*es meaning to his life. 2t aggrandi7es him as ,orth( of )eing 'ersecuted. The
mere )attle ,ith his demons is an achie*ement not to )e sniggered at. @( o*ercoming his
IenemiesI+ the narcissist emerges *ictorious and 'o,erful.
The narcissistDs self6inflicted 'aranoia 6 'roJections of threatening internal o)Jects and
'rocesses 6 legitimi7es+ Justifies+ and Ie?'lainsI his a)ru't+ com'rehensi*e+ and rude
,ithdra,al from an ominous and una''reciati*e ,orld . The narcissistDs 'ronounced
misanthro'( 6 fortified )( these o''ressi*e thoughts 6 renders him a schi7oid+ de*oid of all
social contact+ e?ce't the most necessar(.
@ut e*en as the narcissist di*orces his en*ironment+ he remains aggressi*e+ or e*en *iolent.
The final 'hase of narcissism in*ol*es *er)al+ 's(chological+ situational Band+ mercifull(+
more rarel(+ 'h(sicalC a)use directed at his IfoesI and IinferiorsI. 2t is the culmination of a
cree'ing mode of 's(chosis+ the sad and una*oida)le outcome of a choice made long ago to
forego the real in fa*our of the surreal.
Confa)ulations are an im'ortant 'art of life. The( ser*e to heal emotional ,ounds or to
're*ent ones from )eing inflicted in the first 'lace. The( 'ro'6u' the confa)ulatorDs self6
esteem+ regulate his Bor herC sense of self6,orth+ and )uttress his Bor herC self6image. The(
ser*e as organi7ing 'rinci'les in social interactions.
/atherDs ,artime heroism+ motherDs (outhful good looks+ oneDs oft6recounted e?'loits+
erst,hile alleged )rilliance+ and 'ast 'ur'orted se?ual irresisti)ilit( 6 are t('ical e?am'les of
,hite+ fu77(+ heart6,arming lies ,ra''ed around a shri*elled kernel of truth.
@ut the distinction )et,een realit( and fantas( is rarel( com'letel( lost. ee' inside+ the
health( confa)ulator kno,s ,here facts end and ,ishful thinking takes o*er. /ather
ackno,ledges he ,as no ,ar hero+ though he did his share of fighting. Mother understands
she ,as no ra*ishing )eaut(+ though she ma( ha*e )een attracti*e. The confa)ulator reali7es
that his recounted e?'loits are o*er)lo,n+ his )rilliance e?aggerated+ and his se?ual
irresisti)ilit( a m(th.
Such distinctions ne*er rise to the surface )ecause e*er(one 6 the confa)ulator and his
audience alike 6 ha*e a common interest to maintain the confa)ulation. To challenge the
integrit( of the confa)ulator or the *eracit( of his confa)ulations is to threaten the *er( fa)ric
of famil( and societ(. Human intercourse is )uilt around such entertaining de*iations from
the truth.
This is ,here the narcissist differs from others Bfrom InormalI 'eo'leC.
His *er( self is a 'iece of fiction concocted to fend off hurt and to nurture the narcissistDs
grandiosit(. He fails in his Irealit( testI 6 the a)ilit( to distinguish the actual from the
imagined. The narcissist fer*entl( )elie*es in his o,n infalli)ilit(+ )rilliance+ omni'otence+
heroism+ and 'erfection. He doesnDt dare confront the truth and admit it e*en to himself.
Moreo*er+ he im'oses his 'ersonal m(tholog( on his nearest and dearest. S'ouse+ children+
colleagues+ friends+ neigh)ours 6 sometimes e*en 'erfect strangers 6 must a)ide )( the
narcissistDs narrati*e or face his ,rath. The narcissist countenances no disagreement+
alternati*e 'oints of *ie,+ or criticism. To him+ confa)ulation + realit(.
The coherence of the narcissistDs d(sfunctional and 'recariousl(6)alanced 'ersonalit(
de'ends on the 'lausi)ilit( of his stories and on their acce'tance )( his Sources of
Narcissistic Su''l(. The narcissist in*ests an inordinate time in su)stantiating his tales+
collecting Ie*idenceI+ defending his *ersion of e*ents+ and in re6inter'reting realit( to fit his
scenario. As a result+ most narcissists are self6delusional+ o)stinate+ o'inionated+ and
argumentati*e.
The narcissistDs lies are not goal6orientated. This is ,hat makes his constant dishonest( )oth
disconcerting and incom'rehensi)le. The narcissist lies at the dro' of a hat+ needlessl(+ and
almost ceaselessl(. He lies in order to a*oid the Arandiosit( Aa' 6 ,hen the a)(ss )et,een
fact and BnarcissisticC fiction )ecomes too ga'ing to ignore.
The narcissist lies in order to 'reser*e a''earances+ u'hold fantasies+ su''ort the tall Band
im'ossi)leC tales of his /alse Self and e?tract Narcissistic Su''l( from unsus'ecting sources+
,ho are not (et on to him. To the narcissist+ confa)ulation is not merel( a ,a( of life 6 )ut
life itself.
4e are all conditioned to let other indulge in 'et delusions and get a,a( ,ith ,hite+ not too
egregious+ lies. The narcissist makes use of our sociali7ation. 4e dare not confront or e?'ose
him+ des'ite the outlandishness of his claims+ the im'ro)a)ilit( of his stories+ the
im'lausi)ilit( of his alleged accom'lishments and conquests. 4e sim'l( turn the other cheek+
or meekl( a*ert our e(es+ often em)arrassed.
Moreo*er+ the narcissist makes clear+ from the *er( )eginning+ that it is his ,a( or the
high,a(. His aggression 6 e*en *iolent streak 6 are close to the surface. He ma( )e charming
in a first encounter 6 )ut e*en then there are telltale signs of 'ent6u' a)use. His interlocutors
sense this im'ending threat and a*oid conflict )( acquiescing ,ith the narcissistDs fair( tales.
Thus he im'oses his 'ri*ate uni*erse and *irtual realit( on his milieu 6 sometimes ,ith
disastrous consequences.
=33+ Wh# Obama is 2angerousl# 8ullible?
%uch a one (the narcissist - 6) is encased, is he not, in an armour - such an armour7
'he armour of the crusaders was nothing to it - an armour of arrogance, of pride, of
complete self-esteem# 'his armour, it is in some ways a protection, the arrows, the everyday
arrows of life glance off it# -ut there is this danger8 ometimes a man in armour might not
even know he was being attacked# )e will be slow to see, slow to hear - slower still to feel#%
9%!ead /an:s /irror% by .gatha 1hristie in %)ercule (oirot - 'he 1omplete hort
tories%, 5reat -ritain, )arper1ollins (ublishers, ;<<<=
The iron( is that narcissists+ ,ho consider themsel*es ,orldl(+ discerning+ kno,ledgea)le+
shre,d+ erudite+ and astute 6 are actuall( more gulli)le than the a*erage 'erson. This is
)ecause the( are fake. Their self is false+ their life a confa)ulation+ their realit( test gone.
The( li*e in a fantas( land all their o,n in ,hich the( are the centre of the uni*erse+ admired+
feared+ held in a,e+ and res'ected for their omni'otence and omniscience.
Narcissists are 'rone to magical thinking. The( hold themsel*es immune to the consequences
of their actions Bor inactionC and+ therefore+ )e(ond 'unishment and the la,s of Man.
Narcissists are easil( 'ersuaded to assume unreasona)le risks and e?'ect miracles to ha''en.
The( often find themsel*es on the recei*ing end of in*estment scams+ for instance.
Narcissists feel entitled to mone(+ 'o,er+ and honours incommensurate ,ith their
accom'lishments or toil. The ,orld+ or Aod+ or the nation+ or societ(+ or their families+ co6
,orkers+ em'lo(ers+ e*en neigh)ours o,e them a trou)le6free+ e?alted+ and lu?urious
e?istence. The( are rudel( shocked ,hen the( are 'enali7ed for their misconduct or ,hen
their fantasies remain Just that.
The narcissist )elie*es that he is destined to greatness 6 or at least the eas( life. He ,akes u'
e*er( morning full( read( for a fortuitous stroke of luck. That e?'lains the narcissistDs
reckless )eha*iors and his la7ed lack of self6disci'line. 2t also e?'lains ,h( is so easil(
du'ed.
@( 'la(ing on the narcissistDs grandiosit( and 'aranoia+ it is 'ossi)le to decei*e and
mani'ulate him effortlessl(. 1ust offer him Narcissistic Su''l( 6 admiration+ affirmation+
adulation 6 and he is (ours. Har' on his insecurities and his 'ersecutor( delusions 6 and he is
likel( to trust onl( (ou and cling to (ou for dear life.
Narcissists attract a)use. Haught(+ e?'loitati*e+ demanding+ insensiti*e+ and quarrelsome+
the( tend to dra, o''ro)rium and 'ro*oke anger and e*en hatred. Sorel( lacking in
inter'ersonal skills+ de*oid of em'ath(+ and stee'ed in irksome grandiose fantasies - the(
in*aria)l( fail to mitigate the irritation and re*olt that the( induce in others.
Successful narcissists are frequentl( targeted )( stalkers and erotomaniacs - usuall( mentall(
ill 'eo'le ,ho de*elo' a fi?ation of a se?ual and emotional nature on the narcissist. 4hen
ine*ita)l( re)uffed+ the( )ecome *indicti*e and e*en *iolent.
3ess 'rominent narcissists end u' sharing life ,ith co6de'endents and in*erted narcissists.
The narcissistDs situation is e?acer)ated )( the fact that+ often+ the narcissist himself is an
a)user. 3ike the )o( ,ho cried I,olfI+ 'eo'le do not )elie*e that the 'er'etrator of egregious
deeds can himself fall 're( to maltreatment. The( tend to ignore and discard the narcissistDs
cries for hel' and dis)elie*e his 'rotestations.
The narcissist reacts to a)use as ,ould an( other *ictim. Traumati7ed+ he goes through the
'hases of denial+ hel'lessness+ rage+ de'ression+ and acce'tance. @ut+ the narcissistDs reactions
are am'lified )( his shattered sense of omni'otence. A)use )reeds humiliation. To the
narcissist+ hel'lessness is a no*el e?'erience.
The narcissistic defence mechanisms and their )eha*ioural manifestations - diffuse rage+
ideali7ation and de*aluation+ e?'loitation - are useless ,hen confronted ,ith a determined+
*indicti*e+ or delusional stalker. That the narcissist is flattered )( the attention he recei*es
from the a)user+ renders him more *ulnera)le to the formerDs mani'ulation.
Nor can the narcissist come to terms ,ith his need for hel' or ackno,ledge that ,rongful
)eha*iour on his 'art ma( ha*e contri)uted someho, to the situation. His self6image as an
infalli)le+ might(+ all6kno,ing 'erson+ far su'erior to others+ ,onDt let him admit to shortfalls
or mistakes.
As the a)use 'rogresses+ the narcissist feels increasingl( cornered. His conflicting emotional
needs - to 'reser*e the integrit( of his grandiose /alse Self e*en as he seeks much needed
su''ort - 'lace an un)eara)le strain on the 'recarious )alance of his immature 'ersonalit(.
ecom'ensation Bthe disintegration of the narcissistDs defence mechanismsC leads to acting
out and+ if the a)use is 'rotracted+ to ,ithdra,al and e*en to 's(chotic micro6e'isodes.
A)usi*e acts in themsel*es are rarel( dangerous. Not so the reactions to a)use - a)o*e all+
the o*er,helming sense of *iolation and humiliation. 4hen asked ho, is the narcissist likel(
to react to continued mistreatment+ 2 ,rote this in one of m( Pathological Narcissism /ASs!
%'he initial reaction of the narcissist to a perceived humiliation is a conscious re"ection of
the humiliating input# 'he narcissist tries to ignore it, talk it out of existence, or belittle its
importance# +f this crude mechanism of cognitive dissonance fails, the narcissist resorts to
denial and repression of the humiliating material# )e %forgets% all about it, gets it out of
his mind and, when reminded of it, denies it#
-ut these are usually merely stopgap measures# 'he disturbing data is bound to impinge
on the narcissist:s tormented consciousness# 4nce aware of its re-emergence, the narcissist
uses fantasy to counteract and counterbalance it# )e imagines all the horrible things that
he would have done (or will do) to the sources of his frustration#
+t is through fantasy that the narcissist seeks to redeem his pride and dignity and to re-
establish his damaged sense of uniqueness and grandiosity# (aradoxically, the narcissist
does not mind being humiliated if this were to make him more unique or to draw more
attention to his person#
$or instance> if the in"ustice involved in the process of humiliation is unprecedented, or if
the humiliating acts or words place the narcissist in a unique position, or if they transform
him into a public figure the narcissist tries to encourage such behaviours and to elicit
them from others#
+n this case, he fantasises how he defiantly demeans and debases his opponents by forcing
them to behave even more barbarously than before, so that their un"ust conduct is
universally recognised as such and condemned and the narcissist is publicly vindicated
and his self-respect restored# +n short> martyrdom is as good a method of
obtaining Narcissist upply as any#
$antasy, though, has its limits and once reached, the narcissist is likely to experience
waves of self-hatred and self-loathing, the outcomes of helplessness and of realising the
depths of his dependence on Narcissistic upply# 'hese feelings culminate in severe self-
directed aggression> depression, destructive, self-defeating behaviours or suicidal ideation#
'hese self-negating reactions, inevitably and naturally, terrify the narcissist# )e tries to
pro"ect them on to his environment# )e may decompensate by developing obsessive-
compulsive traits or by going through a psychotic microepisode#
.t this stage, the narcissist is suddenly besieged by disturbing, uncontrollable violent
thoughts# )e develops ritualistic reactions to them> a sequence of motions, an act, or
obsessive counter-thoughts# 4r he might visualise his aggression, or experience auditory
hallucinations# )umiliation affects the narcissist this deeply#
2uckily, the process is entirely reversible once Narcissistic upply is resumed# .lmost
immediately, the narcissist swings from one pole to another, from being humiliated to
being elated, from being put down to being reinstated, from being at the bottom of his own,
imagined, pit to occupying the top of his own, imagined, hill#%
0eturn
"he Obama Riddle
@( no,+ the ,orld has had t,o (ears of e?'osure to @arack O)ama. 4e all ha*e follo,ed his
e?'loits and anticsH ha*e ,atched him on tele*isionH ha*e heard his s'eechesH ha*e ,itnessed
his scri'ted and s'ontaneous interactions ,ith famil(+ su)ordinates+ co6,orkers+ and friends.
This is the first in a series of articles e?amining O)amaDs 's(chological makeu' in minute
detail.
/ollo,ing are descri'tions of narcissistic and 's(cho'athic traits. The( are common among
'eo'le diagnosed ,ith Narcissistic Personalit( isorder BNPC Bhtt'!55,,,.narcissistic6
a)use.com5n'dglance.htmlC and Antisocial Personalit( isorder B's(cho'athsC.
0ead these te?ts.
2o #ou recogni0e Barack Obama in them?
Narcissists are self6sufficient and consider themsel*es 'eerless. The NarcissistDs IfriendsI+
com'anions+ and acol(tes 'ro*ide the narcissist ,ith an o)sequious+ unthreatening+ audience
and ,ith the kind of unconditional and unthinking o)edience that confirms to him his
omni'otence. The( are sufficientl( *acuous to make the narcissist look shar' and omniscient
- )ut not so asinine as to )e instantl( discerni)le as such. The( are the 'erfect )ackdro'+
ne*er likel( to attain centre stage and o*ershado, their master.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he Narcissist and )is $riends
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5Journal<G.html
2n the narcissistDs surrealistic ,orld+ e*en language is 'athologi7ed. 2t mutates into a ,ea'on
of self6defence+ a *er)al fortification+ a medium ,ithout a message+ re'lacing ,ords ,ith
du'licitous and am)iguous *oca)les.
Narcissists Band+ often+ )( contagion+ their unfortunate *ictimsC donDt talk+ or communicate.
The( fend off. The( hide and e*ade and a*oid and disguise. 2n their 'lanet of ca'ricious and
ar)itrar( un'redicta)ilit(+ of shifting semiotic and semantic dunes 6 the( 'erfect the a)ilit( to
sa( nothing in length(+ Castro6like s'eeches.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he ?eapon of 2anguage
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5JournalK&.html
The narcissist is the guru at the centre of a cult. 3ike other gurus+ he demands com'lete
o)edience from his flock! his s'ouse+ his offs'ring+ other famil( mem)ers+ friends+ and
colleagues. He feels entitled to adulation and s'ecial treatment )( his follo,ers. He 'unishes
the ,a(,ard and the stra(ing lam)s. He enforces disci'line+ adherence to his teachings+ and
common goals. The less accom'lished he is in realit( - the more stringent his master( and the
more 'er*asi*e the )rain,ashing.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he 1ult of the Narcissist
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5JournalFE.html
The Imodest(I dis'la(ed )( narcissists is false. 2t is mostl( and merel( *er)al. 2t is couched
in flourishing 'hrases+ em'hasised to a)surdit(+ re'eated unnecessaril( - usuall( to the 'oint
of causing gross incon*enience to the listener. The real aim of such )eha*iour and its su)te?t
are e?actl( the o''osite of common modest(.
2t is intended to either aggrandise the narcissist or to 'rotect his grandiosit( from scrutin( and
'ossi)le erosion. Such modest out)ursts 'recede inflated+ grandiosit(6laden statements made
)( the narcissist and 'ertaining to fields of human kno,ledge and acti*it( in ,hich he is
sorel( lacking.
Narcissistic leadershi' often 'oses as a re)ellion against the Iold ,a(sI! against the
hegemonic culture+ the u''er classes+ the esta)lished religions+ the su'er'o,ers+ the corru't
order. Narcissistic mo*ements are 'uerile+ a reaction to narcissistic inJuries inflicted u'on a
narcissistic Band rather 's(cho'athicC toddler nation6state+ or grou'+ or u'on the leader.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he $alse /odesty and $ake $olksiness of the Narcissist
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqKL.html
Narcissistic and (sychopathic 2eaders
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5%G.html
The narcissistDs lies are not goal6orientated. This is ,hat makes his constant dishonest( )oth
disconcerting and incom'rehensi)le. The narcissist lies at the dro' of a hat+ needlessl(+ and
almost ceaselessl(. He lies in order to a*oid the Arandiosit( Aa' 6 ,hen the a)(ss )et,een
fact and BnarcissisticC fiction )ecomes too ga'ing to ignore.
The narcissist lies in order to 'reser*e a''earances+ u'hold fantasies+ su''ort the tall Band
im'ossi)leC tales of his /alse Self and e?tract Narcissistic Su''l( from unsus'ecting sources+
,ho are not (et on to him. To the narcissist+ confa)ulation is not merel( a ,a( of life 6 )ut
life itself.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he 1onfabulated 2ife and -iography of the Narcissist
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5JournalFG.html
The narcissist is confident that 'eo'le find him irresisti)le. His unfailing charm is 'art of his
self6im'uted omni'otence. This inane con*iction is ,hat makes the narcissist a
%pathological charmer%. The somatic narcissist and the histrionic flaunt their se? a''eal+
*irilit( or femininit(+ se?ual 'ro,ess+ musculature+ 'h(sique+ training+ or athletic
achie*ements.
The cere)ral narcissist seeks to enchant and entrance his audience ,ith intellectual
'(rotechnics. Man( narcissists )rag a)out their ,ealth+ health+ 'ossessions+ collections+
s'ouses+ children+ 'ersonal histor(+ famil( tree - in short! an(thing that garners them attention
and renders them alluring.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he Narcissist as a (athological 1harmer
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5case$G.html
The narcissist has a com'licated relationshi' ,ith his 'arents Bmainl( ,ith his mother+ )ut+ at
times+ also ,ith his fatherC. As Primar( O)Jects+ the narcissistDs 'arents are often a source of
frustration ,hich leads to re'ressed or to self6directed aggression. The( traumatise the
narcissist during his infanc( and childhood and th,art his health( de*elo'ment ,ell into his
late adolescence.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he Narcissist:s !ead (arents
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqG&.html
The narcissist 'ercei*es e*er( disagreement - let alone criticism - coming from 'eo'le
,hom he does not consider to )e his I'eersI Be.g.+ the mediaC as nothing short of a threat. He
reacts defensi*el(. He )ecomes indignant+ aggressi*e and cold. He detaches emotionall( for
fear of (et another BnarcissisticC inJur(. He de*alues the 'erson ,ho made the dis'araging
remark.
@( holding the critic in contem't+ )( diminishing the stature of the discordant con*ersant -
the narcissist minimises the im'act of the disagreement or criticism on himself. This is a
defence mechanism kno,n as cogniti*e dissonance.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
Narcissists, !isagreement and 1riticism
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqFK.html
The narcissist constantl( consumes Breall(+ 're(s u'onC adoration+ admiration+ a''ro*al+
a''lause+ attention and other forms of Narcissistic Su''l(.
The normal 'erson is likel( to ,elcome a moderate amount of attention - *er)al and non6
*er)al - in the form of affirmation+ a''ro*al+ or admiration. Too much attention+ though+ is
'ercei*ed as onerous and is a*oided. estructi*e and negati*e criticism is a*oided altogether.
The narcissist+ in contrast+ is the mental equi*alent of an alcoholic. He is insatia)le. He
directs his ,hole )eha*iour+ in fact his life+ to o)tain these 'leasura)le tit)its of attention. He
em)eds them in a coherent+ com'letel( )iased+ 'icture of himself. He uses them to regulates
his la)ile sense of self6,orth and self6esteem.
To elicit constant interest+ he 'roJects to others a confa)ulated+ fictitious *ersion of himself+
kno,n as the /alse Self. The /alse Self is e*er(thing the narcissist is not! omniscient+
omni'otent+ charming+ intelligent+ rich+ or ,ell6connected.
The narcissist then 'roceeds to har*est reactions to this 'roJected image from famil(
mem)ers+ friends+ co6,orkers+ neigh)ours+ )usiness 'artners and from colleagues. 2f these -
the adulation+ admiration+ attention+ fear+ res'ect+ a''lause+ affirmation - are not forthcoming+
the narcissist demands them+ or e?torts them. Mone(+ com'liments+ a fa*oura)le critique+ an
a''earance in the media+ a se?ual conquest are all con*erted into the same currenc( in the
narcissistDs mind.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
Narcissists, Narcissistic upply and ources of upply
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqFL.html
%)aughty% body language - The narcissist ado'ts a 'h(sical 'osture ,hich im'lies and
e?udes an air of su'eriorit(+ seniorit(+ hidden 'o,ers+ m(steriousness+ amused indifference+
etc. Though the narcissist usuall( maintains sustained and 'iercing e(e contact+ he often
refrains from 'h(sical 'ro?imit( Bhe is IterritorialIC.
The narcissist takes 'art in social interactions - e*en mere )anter - condescendingl(+ from a
'osition of su'remac( and fau? Imagnanimit( and largesseI. @ut he rarel( mingles sociall(
and 'refers to remain the Io)ser*erI+ or the Ilone ,olfI.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
)ow to &ecognise a Narcissist@
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqG<.html
T,o narcissists of the same t('e Bsomatic+ cere)ral+ classic+ com'ensator(+ in*erted+ etc.C
cannot maintain a sta)le+ long6term full6fledged+ and functional relationshi'.
There are t,o t('es of narcissists! the somatic narcissist and the cere)ral narcissist. The
somatic t('e relies on his )od( and se?ualit( as Sources of Narcissistic Su''l(. The cere)ral
narcissist uses his intellect+ his intelligence and his 'rofessional achie*ements to o)tain the
same. The cere)ral narcissist is a kno,6it6all+ haught( and intelligent Icom'uterI. He uses his
a,esome intellect+ or kno,ledge Breal or 'retendedC to secure adoration+ adulation and
admiration. To him+ his )od( and its maintenance are a )urden and a distraction.
Thus+ if )oth mem)ers of the cou'le are cere)ral narcissists+ for instance if )oth of them are
scholars - the resulting com'etition 're*ents them from ser*ing as am'le Sources of
Narcissistic Su''l( to each other. /inall( the mutual admiration societ( crum)les.
Consumed )( the 'ursuit of their o,n narcissistic gratification+ the( ha*e no time or energ(
or ,ill left to cater to the narcissistic needs of their 'artner. Moreo*er+ the 'artner is
'ercei*ed as a dangerous and *icious contender for a scarce resource! Sources of Narcissistic
Su''l(. This ma( )e less true if the t,o narcissists ,ork in totall( unrelated academic or
intellectual fields.
@ut if the narcissists in*ol*ed are of different t('es+ if one of them is cere)ral and the other
one somatic+ a long6term 'artnershi' )ased on the mutual 'ro*ision of Narcissistic Su''l(
can definitel( sur*i*e.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
Narcissistic 1ouples and Narcissistic 'ypes
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqL$.html
'he 1erebral vs# the omatic Narcissist
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faqL$.html
Aod is e*er(thing the narcissist e*er ,ants to )e! omni'otent+ omniscient+ omni'resent+
admired+ much discussed+ and a,e ins'iring. Aod is the narcissistDs ,et dream+ his ultimate
grandiose fantas(. @ut Aod comes hand( in other ,a(s as ,ell.
The narcissist alternatel( ideali7es and de*alues figures of authorit(.
2n the ideali7ation 'hase+ he stri*es to emulate them+ he admires them+ imitate them Boften
ludicrousl(C+ and defends them. The( cannot go ,rong+ or )e ,rong. The narcissist regards
them as )igger than life+ infalli)le+ 'erfect+ ,hole+ and )rilliant. @ut as the narcissistDs
unrealistic and inflated e?'ectations are ine*ita)l( frustrated+ he )egins to de*alue his former
idols.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
$or the 2ove of 5od> Narcissists and &eligion
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5Journal&G.html
The narcissist is not reall( interested in 'u)licit( 'er se. Narcissists are misleading. The
narcissist a''ears to lo*e himself - and+ reall(+ he a)hors himself. Similarl(+ he a''ears to )e
interested in )ecoming a cele)rit( - and+ in realit(+ he is concerned ,ith the &*.1'+4N to
his fame! 'eo'le ,atch him+ notice him+ talk a)out him+ de)ate his actions - therefore he
e?ists.
The narcissist goes around Ihunting and collectingI the ,a( the e?'ressions on 'eo'leDs faces
change ,hen the( notice him. He 'laces himself at the centre of attention+ or e*en as a figure
of contro*ers(. He constantl( and recurrentl( 'esters those nearest and dearest to him in a )id
to reassure himself that he is not losing his fame+ his magic touch+ the attention of his social
milieu.
Trul(+ the narcissist is not choos(. 2f he can )ecome famous as a ,riter - he ,rites+ if as a
)usinessman - he conducts )usiness. He s,itches from one field to the other ,ith ease and
,ithout remorse )ecause in all of them he is 'resent ,ithout con*iction+ )ar the con*iction
that he must Band deser*es toC get famous.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he Narcissist:s .ddiction to $ame and 1elebrity
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5faq%E.html
Ps(cho'aths are said to )e fearless+ im'ertur)a)le+ and sang6froid. Their 'ain tolerance is
*er( high. Still+ contrar( to 'o'ular 'erce'tions and 's(chiatric orthodo?(+ some 's(cho'aths
are actuall( an?ious and fearful. Their 's(cho'ath( is a defense against an underl(ing and
all6'er*asi*e an?iet(+ either hereditar(+ or )rought on )( earl( childhood a)use.
Rings a bell? 'ontinue to read about this s$eci7ic trait or behavior here:
'he (sychopath and .ntisocial
htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com5'ersonalit(disorders%L.html
0eturn
About the Author
!+12.+/*&
2 am not a mental health 'rofessional. Still+ 2 ha*e dedicated the last %F (ears to the stud( of
'ersonalit( disorders in general and the Narcissistic Personalit( isorder BNPC in 'articular.
2 ha*e authored nine BEC )ooks a)out these to'ics+ one of ,hich is a @arnes and No)le )est6
seller BIMalignant Self6lo*e! Narcissism 0e*isitedIC. M( ,ork is ,idel( cited in scholarl(
tomes and 'u)lications and in the media. M( )ooks and the content of m( 4e) site are )ased
on corres'ondence since %EEL ,ith hundreds of 'eo'le suffering from the Narcissistic
Personalit( isorder BnarcissistsC and ,ith thousands of their famil( mem)ers+ friends+
thera'ists+ and colleagues.
Sam Vaknin B htt'!55sam*ak.tri'od.com C is the author of Malignant Self63o*e! Narcissism
0e*isited and After the 0ain 6 Ho, the 4est 3ost the East+ as ,ell as man( other )ooks and
e)ooks a)out to'ics in 's(cholog(+ relationshi's+ 'hiloso'h(+ economics+ and international
affairs.
He is the Editor6in6Chief of Alo)al Politician and ser*ed as a columnist for Central Euro'e
0e*ie,+ Po'Matters+ e@ook4e) + and @ellaonline+ and as a ;nited Press 2nternational B;P2C
Senior @usiness Corres'ondent. He ,as the editor of mental health and Central East Euro'e
categories in The O'en irector( and Suite%$%.
Visit SamDs 4e) site at htt'!55,,,.narcissistic6a)use.com
Work on Narcissism
Sam Vaknin is the author of Malignant Self 3o*e! Narcissism 0e*isited. Bnum)er % )estseller
in its categor( in @arnes and No)leC. His ,ork is quoted in ,ell o*er %$$$ scholarl(
'u)lications and in o*er G$$$ )ooks Bfull list hereC.

His 4e) site IMalignant Self 3o*e 6 Narcissism 0e*isitedI ,as+ for man( (ears+ an O'en
irector( Cool Site and is a Ps(ch6;R recommended Site.
Sam Vaknin is not a mental health professional though he is certified in
's(chological counseling techniques )( @rain)ench.
Sam Vaknin ser*ed as the editor of Mental Health isorders categories in the O'en irector(
ProJect and on Mentalhel'.net. He maintains his o,n 4e)sites a)out Narcissistic Personalit(
isorder BNPC and a)out relationshi's ,ith a)usi*e narcissists and 's(cho'aths here and in
Health(Place.
Mou can find his ,ork on man( other 4e) sites! Mental Health Matters+ Mental Health
Sanctuar(+ Mental Health Toda(+ RathiDs Mental Health 0e*ie, and others.
Sam Vaknin ,rote a column for @ellaonline on Narcissism and A)usi*e 0elationshi's and is
a frequent contri)utor to 4e)sites such as Self6gro,th.com and @i7(moms Bas an e?'ert on
'ersonalit( disordersC.
Sam Vaknin ser*ed as the author of the Personalit( isorders to'ic+ Narcissistic Personalit(
isorder to'ic+ the Ver)al and Emotional A)use to'ic+ and the S'ousal A)use and omestic
Violence to'ic+ all four on Suite%$%. He is the moderator of the Narcissistic A)use
Stud( 3ist + the To?ic 0elationshi's Stud( 3ist+ and other mailing lists ,ith a total of c.
#$+$$$ mem)ers. He also 'u)lishes a )i6,eekl( A)usi*e 0elationshi's Ne,sletter.
Mou can *ie, Sam VakninNs )iogra'h( here.