Conventional Couple versus the Spiritual Couple

We have all wished for a perfect sublime relationship with a member of the opposite sex.
Some of us succeed the first time, others succeed after many failed attempts; others are still searching. There is no need to worry
about this, since Everyone has their own half as states an ancient proverb. Sooner or later, you and your beloved will come together
to en!oy the most sublime aspects of love, depending on how "uic#ly you become aware of $E%&'T(.
't is essential to understand typical mista#es made in a )normal) or )conventional) couple.
*rom the beginning this #ind of a relationship is doomed to failure.
+y becoming aware of our mista#es we can build a perfect union of love based on the highest ideals.
,ere is a comparative analysis of the two types of relationships- the conventional and the spiritual.

./01E0T'/0%& ./23&E S3'$'T2%& ./23&E

Closed process. The couple44s motivations are not
clarified. 5ost of the time, the couple is modelled on a
standard pattern established by others rather than on self6
determined values. Security and stability is
preferred, transformation avoided. This is why individual
evolution is very slow. +oth try hard to be according to the
other44s image; the lovers do not act freely. They do not do
as they honestly feel.

Open process. The relationship is clearly
established for a spiritual purpose, and
common ob!ectives constitute the foundation
of the relationship. There is mutual recognition
of each other7s freedom. +oth lovers honestly
and openly express who they are, their desires,
and their goals. Transformation is accepted,
and there is no !ealousy. This is the reason why
individual evolution is very rapid.

Doubt. The closed process creates less self6confidence
and less confidence in each other. (ou become attached
and feel dependent, and need the other to place value
upon yourself.

Trust. %n open process allows each lover to be
aware of their own independence. (ou do not
try to change the other. $ather, you accept
them as they are and you help them by your
own presence.

Competition. )8o not ta#e my place). The struggle for
power appears- Who gives the orders9 Who is the
authority9 There is a conflict of roles. Their own interests
come first. The Ego is in power.

Understanding. Each lover has the same
ran#, the same responsibilities. Each respects
the other7s space and the desire to be either
together or alone. There is a flexibility in roles-
you are here to help the other advance.
Dependency: There are fixed roles. (ou wish to
impose your different points of view on the other. (ou feel
separated, alone and unfulfilled. There is fear of
abandonment.

Autonomy: Each lover is self6sufficient, and
not dependent on the other. &ove confers
security. Each lover is open to the other7s
desire for spiritual evolution. ,ence there is a
stong understanding of the tools used for
spiritual development- the need for spiritual
practice, allowance for free time, travel, and
other re"uirements. This leads to spontaneity
and harmony.


Conditions. 8ependency creates conditional exchanges.
The relationship is conducted through rules, contracts, and
compulsion. The basis of the union is the concept of trade-
if you offer something you get something in return.
%ttitudes are premeditated. There can be manipulation.
Liberty. %utonomy fosters tolerance,
detachment, and surrender. 0o longer is
there domination nor possessiveness. The
lovers together spontaneously explore the
!oyful adventure of conscious evolution as a
couple. There is happiness, mutual confidence,
and harmony.


Boredom. The lovers create rules because they no longer
en!oy spending time together. They enter into a routine
that destroys creativity and inventiveness. Each begins to
thin# the other is the source of unhappiness and this is the
reason why each must defend themself.

Creativity. There is a constant state of play
and agreeable mood between the two lovers.
Spontaneity, inspiration, and amusement is
evident. $oles and resposibilities change
spontaneously. 0ew avenues of love are
invented. (ou feel really good and happy
together.

nsecurity: (ou have the sense that something is
missing, though you do not #now what is it exactly. There
are feelings of fear, instability and culpability. (ou avoid
the other or reproach them on certain behaviour
which upsets you. There may be the deisre to start a
family, hoping that this is a solution to the problem and to
find greater stability.

Security. 3rofound love leads to the feeling of
stability. The desire to start a family may
appear, not because the lovers are afraid of
losing one another, but in order to fulfill a
higher purpose. The spiritual merging of the
two lovers induces a superior feeling of
security.

The sensation o! !ailing as a couple. There is a sense
of impotence regarding the flow of events. Each lover
begins to undervalue the other. $esentments appear that
can provo#e even further unbalance. There is a feeling of
desperation, and that there is nothing you can do. (ou see
no way of bringing harmony bac# into the couple.

"er!ect love. There are feelings of abnegation
and adoration. 5utual devotion awa#ens the
divine essence in both lovers and mutual self6
sacrifice generates a fine mood. (ou exist for
love. &ove becomes cosmic; you feel that :od
is the /ne who loves you, through your lover.
Separation. The only solution is separation and divorce.
(ou experience desperation and loneliness. This could be
an opportunity for transformation, for possible discovery
of autonomy and freedom

Unity. The relationship is the opportunity to
achieve a spiritual marriage, or union. The
couple discover primary love ; the love
between two archetypes, the male and female.
This love leads the couple to 20'T(, divine
grace and blessedness. They fulfill the ideal of
every relationship- the discovery of 20'T(, or
in other words S23$E5E $E%&'T(.